#saam2016

[nsvrc]

Coloring isn’t just for kids! Here’s an article about the benefits of coloring! http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/06/health/adult-coloring-books-popularity-mental-health/ 

Download, print, and color your #SAAM coloring page here!  http://www.nsvrc.org/saam/about/graphics#SAAM Coloring Page 

[ppaction]

The Key to Ending Campus Sexual Assaults is Transparency

Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been leading the fight to get sexual assault taken seriously in the military and on campuses.

Here’s what her and other Senators think should happen.

[revolutionrosen]

CN: sexual violence #Yesmeansyes #stopsexualviolence #stopVAWG #EndSH #meetusonthestreet2016 #SAAM2016

[nsvrc]

Here’s a simple beginner video. 

[taldaria]

At first, everything felt hazy; I woke up into a nightmare. Next came the panic, I closed my eyes and left my body limp. Finally, reality set in. This moment projectile launched my life from its comfortable nook, and left me here, floating in space. I took a deep breath and started to drive.

I still have days where I feel lost and hopeless beyond repair, days when the steering wheel spirals out of control and my efforts seem futile. I still think about it everyday in some form or another. I wonder if I too haunt the corners of his mind. In my deepest, most shameful desires, I sometimes catch myself hoping my ghost follows him like a guilty conscience, reminding him of how he mercilessly wrecked a person who trusted him. I hope he feels the same hopelessness I did as I lay paralysed in sheets the day the trial comes, and everyday for the rest of his life. But more than anything, I hope he learns that I am strong enough to pick up the pieces of the wreckage he left behind. That night when I lay there sleeping he expected weakness and fear, but he was wrong. I’m a fighter, and my voice won’t be silenced.

[behind-the-student]

What we can't tell you

We can't tell you that we don't want to live anymore. We can't tell you that every ounce of our being tries to be happy but sometimes even with the sun shining of our cheeks our hearts are clouded with shame. We can't tell you that it makes us question every persons intentions because we are wired to believe everyone wants to take from us. We can't tell you that at 2 am the nightmares wake us. Where you can hear your rapid heart beat and your breath slips away. We can't tell you why that smell or that house or the way that picture is hanging brings everything back. We can't tell you because there's no way you can possibly understand what it's like. Until it happens to you.

[nsvrc]

What’s your favorite? Here’s the science behind why tea makes you feel good. 

[gwdihw]

So I wrote this at like 1AM and I'm a bit iffy about it. But I'm trying to be brave and it's the first I've really spoken about stuff like this. But it's Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I thought maybe this would be an appropriate time to post this. To really say what I feel, as a survivor (not victim, never victim) Please for gods sake, do not judge after you've read this. Please don't change your opinions of me. ----- Before I even begin to go into depth in what I'm about to say, I'd first like to apologise. To all the people I've hurt and the lives I've stopped because I'm too weak to hold this up by myself. And secondly I'd like for everyone to understand how hard this is to write. Ive been building up to this for 2 years, and it still hurts. To put things down on paper, in actual words, is hard. And I'm writing this because I'm seeing how much my own torment affects the others around me. So what happened to me? First i was sexually harassed, then I was sexually assaulted, then I was sexually abused. It started when I was nine, ended when I was thirteen. The worst part initially was realising it wasn't normal. Although it felt wrong deep inside me, I'd sort of grown up thinking it was a part of life. Sex was in my life from the age of 5, when a string of romances and pregnancies sort of found their way into the life of one of my family members. So these things were natural, and no matter how much I disliked them, they were there and I couldn't change that. So I learnt to sit back and take it, which isn't anything anyone should do. I often find that I blame myself for what's happened, especially the first time. I was nine, I had no idea what I was doing. I'd let her lay with me, and then kiss me. Then what happened was out of my control. What started as petty fun turned into something I really didn't like. But I still thought it was right, because adults did things like that didn't they? I didn't know what consent was and I assumed it would get better. I'm afraid, it didn't. One thing that came from this was that now everytime someone comes near me, I get terrified. 'A kiss can always lead to something more,' I tell myself. Because no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise, I'll never truly know that person won't hurt me. It's trust issues: a common after-affect of sexual assault. No matter how may times you tell me, I can never really know something bad won't happen again. Even if every person who ever hurt me is cut from my life. I'm left with so many trust issues from other experiences in my life that I've built a wall around myself. I'm trapped inside the shell of my skin, so disgusted and alone. I don't even trust my own family enough to tell them about things that have happened to me. I'm out here alone; I'm a nomad. There's always that feeling of loneliness. I repeat to myself every day my little mantra of strength - from a song that will never not make me cry - that 'I am not afraid to keep on living: I am not afraid to walk this world alone', but no matter how much I try to brainwash myself into thinking that, I'm always going to be by myself. And that sucks. I can't even go and tell my mother why I'm crying or what I'm writing. Im too isolated. I always remember after telling about my second experience with sexual assault, it felt like a literal weight was lifted from me. But then there was this empty, gaping hole of numbness. I didn't feel, I didn't know what was right or wrong. Then a few months later I was assaulted again. I feel like a piece of meat. I'm chewed up and spat out for the pleasure of others. I'm left with the hatred of my own body. I look at myself and see ugliness. I tell myself 'maybe if I had smaller breasts this wouldn't have happened' or 'if I was a little taller I could've really told them to stop'. Now everything I see is a flaw. I haven't worn a skirt to school in 2 years, and only recently took off my sweatshirt and immediately regretted it. And If I keep this, it will happen again. I will never be perfect till I've rid my skin of those imaginary fingerprints and ghost touches. Now I cry when people touch my thighs, or instantly jump away. You're not catching my attention, you're scaring the shit out of me. So when I get close to someone, the ghost trails of what is to come still lingers. And I know what's coming, I know I'm not going to be able to tell if this is a good thing. Once you've become accustomed to something - no matter if it's good or bad - you struggle to accept that it's good. You keep telling yourself 'oh it's this again. Just keep quiet and it'll be over soon'. It's easy enough to tell someone to just say no; But what happens when no won't physically come out of your sorry lips? It's stuck there like a lump in the back of your throat. And you know you're not ready and you've tried to tell, but nothing seems to work. Because I did say no; I screamed no, I punched no, I begged no. But no matter how hard I tried, no meant nothing but more torment. They caught my fists and pushed me back. They repeated the word no until it meant yes. So now no is nothing. It won't do anything. I learnt to just sit back and wait for it be done, because there was no other way. Bite my tongue, chew my cheek, keep back the tears. Do anything but say no. I can see myself now, looking off into the darkened distance as those who laughed around me took no notice. And I can hear my head asking me 'why is it always me?' Perhaps I attract these people. Or maybe that's the delusion of my head saying that. It could be that I brought it upon myself. I wanted attention, maybe. It's all a jumbled mess now. I do know I'm very alone and in needing of help. And I've been told writing this could be therapeutic. So far all I've done is cry a lot and realise it's all over nothing in the end. People underestimate what happens after sexual assault. They say that you'll feel guilty for a while and feel like it's never ending. You'll feel like you're alone, you'll feel sick to the stomach at the thought every goddamn day. This is all a lie. Because you don't feel after you've been a victim of sexual violence. You ARE guilty and it IS never ending. You ARE alone and you ARE sick, you always will be. You're numb to love and care and trust. No matter how many times you'll tell yourself it's over it never will be. Years later and you're in the position of actually finding someone who will love you, you suddenly get hit in the chest by that memory. It's like being knocked down from a fight or falling back into an addiction. You sink in the quicksand, stop breathing... Never breathing. Because you realise it's a never ending cycle and you'll never find peace. It's easy to say it's not you, it's me. But feeling that persons heart break as you've felt your own, and that its all your fault. The assault was just the beginning. You're the ending, carrying it on forever and you keep spinning. I could keep giving endless descriptions of how it is, but I'm sure you get it now. I hate myself I blame myself for it I wont ever stop My name is Ella Edwards Beavington. I was born on April 27 2001 in West Glamorgan, Wales. I was of right mind writing this and I am not under the influence of narcotics or alcohol. I have an amazing mother, great friends and people who take care of me. And yet despite having all this medium of support, I'm still alone. No matter what people tell me, Ive accepted it and learned it's a way of life. I'm alone.

[womenfiles-blog]

This month is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. A common misconception is that sexual assault is only rape. However, sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact including any words or actions of sexual nature against a person’s will or consent. Sexual assault can be committed against anyone of any gender or age. Nearly 1 in 5 women in the US have experienced rape or attempted rape sometime in their lives. Nearly 1 in 71 men have experienced rape or attempted rape. Something needs to change. 

This year’s slogan is “Prevention is Possible.” In order to prevent sexual assault, a culture of empathy, respect and equity is necessary. Victims won’t come forward if they believe people won’t be understand and helpful. This will also help to stop the assaults in the first place. A society that respects one another won’t harm one another. Secondly, victim-blaming needs to stop. A person’s clothes never give invitation to sexual assault. Gender, sexuality, religion or any beliefs never give the right to sexually assault someone no matter how contradictory they are to your beliefs. In order to prevent future sexual assaults, we must speak out against any sexist, racist, transphobic and/or homophobic comments. We all must speak out against sexual assault. 

Today, April 5 is the Day of Action. Tweet, update your status, post on whatever social media you have to get the word out. Show your support for #SAAM The more voices we have the better. Together we can work to end sexual assaults. 

[nsvrc]

Kittens, elephants, koalas, puppies... We could spend all day on this self care tip! 

[projectemancipation]

As a survivor and advocate, Leah pledges to continue to educate, support, and heal in order to wake others up and demand on end sexual violence. #ProjectEmancipation #PowerOfDialoge #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #SAAM2016 #TruthIsTuesdays (at Temple University)

[sakhi-nyc]

Being a caring listener is just one important way to support survivors of sexual violence. 

Take part in the conversation this #SAAM2016 

[wrcnorman]

It's sexual assault awareness month, and we start by believing. Change the numbers.