#sabre info

[sabrcentral]

obligatory pinned post

hello! this blog is for anything and everything related to bob and skoodge, including sabr itself

there are 2 owners of this blog, dizzy and pepito!! we both draw and we both love these boys a lot

links to our main blogs can be found on the info page off the main blog HERE

ok that's all! thanks for checking out our silly blog :)

[zepuckinghockey]

It's NHL wedding season! I'm aware of 10 NHLers who got married over the July 7-8, 2023 weekend as well as two related weddings. As best as I can, I've listed them out including as many verified player guests as I could find. Shoutout to the server for helping me ID a lot of generic looking faces. I've got some teams listed for context.

Feel free to let me know of people I've missed! This list has been edited on September 9th. I'm pretty sure wedding season is over, but feel free to message me with someone I missed.

June 16th, 2023 Weddings:

Kyle Clague - Sabres Notable Guests: Nolan Patrick

July 4th, 2023 Weddings:

Colin Blackwell - Hawks Notable Guests: Alex Kerfoot

July 6th, 2023 Weddings:

Tyler Bertuzzi - Red Wings Notable Guests: Michael Rasumussen, Zach Nastasiuk

July 7th, 2023 Weddings:

Alex Nedeljkovic - currently Penguins (previously Canes, Red Wings) Notable Attendees: Scott Wedgewood

Jordan Binnington - Blues Notable Attendees: Jordan Kyrou, Marco Scandella, Sammy Blais, Faulk, Perron, Logan Brown, Joshua Leivo, Vince Dunn, Robby Fabbri, Joel Edmundson, Robert Thomas, Oskar Sundqvist, Colton Parayko, Jake Walman

July 8th, 2023 Weddings:

Tyson Barrie - currently on the Preds (previously: Oilers, Leafs, Avs) Notable Attendees: everyone. Sidney Crosby, Nathan MacKinnon, Mitch Marner, Zach Hyman, Connor McDavid, Alex Kerfoot, John Tavares, Jack Campbell, Justin Holl, Evander Kane, Darnell Nurse, Mike Smith, Bayne Pettinger, Tyler Ennis, Colin Wilson, Michael Hutchinson, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Cody Ceci, Evan Bouchard, Luke Schenn, Devin Shore, Gabe Landeskog

Vinni Lettieri - currently on the Wild (previously Ducks) Notable Attendees: Trevor Zegras, Jake Bischoff, Tony DeAngelo, Jimmy Vesey, Kevin Hayes, Brady Skjei, Kevin Shattenkirk, John Gibson, Zach Bogosian, Sam Carrick, Jake Gardiner, James van Riemsdyk

Sam Reinhart - currently on the Panthers (previously Sabres) Notable Attendees: Mason Marchment, Brandon Montour, Owen Tippett

Chandler Stephenson - currently on the Knights (previously Caps) Notable Attendees: Will Carrier, Reilley Smith, Mark Stone, Cody Eakin, Jack Eichel, Alex Tuch

Sam Girard - currently on the Avs (previously Preds) Notable Attendees: Nicolas Aube-Kubel, Ryan Graves

Dylan Gambrell - currently on the Leafs (previously Sharks, Sens) Notable Attendees: Mathieu Joseph, Austin Watson (thanks anon!)

Gustav Forsling - currently on the Panthers Notable Attendees: Alex Wennberg, Marcus Hogberg, Patric Hornquist, Lucas Carlsson, Erik Gustafsson

Tyler Motte - (Rangers, Blue Jackets, Blackhawks, Senators, Canucks) Notable Attendees: Brock Boesser

Brett Richie - (Yotes, Flames)

Emerance Maschmeyer & Genevieve Lacasse - WoHo Olympic gold medalists Notable Attendees: Sarah Nurse, Erin Ambrose, Laura Stacey, Marie-Philip Poulin, Haley Irwin, just like all the big woho names

Dominik Tiffels - German hockey player Notable Attendees: Leon Draisaitl

Frankie Borrelli - Barstool Sports and Fore Play Golf Notable Attendees: Brock Nelson, Matt Martin, Adam Pelech, Scott Mayfield, Josh Bailey - info thanks to @barzyblogbabe

Morgan Reilly - Leafs Notable Attendees: his wife Tessa Virtue

July 13th, 2023 Weddings:

Dryden Hunt - Rangers Notable Guests: Kyle Burroughs

July 15th, 2023 Weddings:

Tyler Seguin - Stars (Bruins) Notable Guests: Jamie Benn, John Klingberg, Scott Wedgewood, Jesse Blacker, Mason Marchment, Ty Dellandrea, Justin Dowling

Luke Kunin - (Sharks, Wild) Notable Attendees: Colton Sissons, Matthew Tkachuk, Brady Tkachuk, (Taryn Tkachuk)

AJ Greer - Bruins (Avs, Devils) Notable Attendees: Scott Kosmachuk

Andy Andreoff - (Kings, Flyers, Islanders) Notable Attendees: Sean Couturier, Scott Laughton, Shayne Gostibehere, Erik Gudbranson, Milan Lucic

Juuso Valimaki - Coyotes

July 16, 2023 Weddings:

Kevin Hayes - Blues (Flyers, Rangers, Jets) Notable Attendees: Johnny Gaudreau, Tony DeAngelo, Brady Skjei, Jimmy Vesey

July 20th, 2023 Weddings:

Lawson Crouse - Coyotes Notable Attendees: Phil Kessel, Shayne Gostibehere, Liam O'Brien, Nick Schmaltz, Darcy Kuemper, Taylor Hall, Jacob Bryson, Travis Konecny

July 21st, 2023 Weddings:

Nicolas Aube-Kubel - Caps (Avs) Notable Attendees: Anthony Mantha, Julien Gauthier

Brady Tkachuk - Sens Notable Attendees: Matthew Tkachuk, Josh Norris, Thomas Chabot, Mark Stone, Mathieu Joseph, Luke Kunin, Christian Fischer, Ryan Donato, Robert Thomas, Alex Debrincat, Cam Talbot, Nick Holden, Quinn Hughes, Jack Hughes, Luke Hughes, Jake Sanderson, Shane Pinto, Dylan Gambrell, Colin White, Jacob Chychrun, Kevin Hayes

Juuse Saros - Predators Notable Attendees: Eeli Tolvanen, Kevin Lankinen

Tanner Jeannot - Lightning Notable Attendees: Brett Howden, Noah Gregor, Jayden Halbgewachs, Jeremy Lauzon, Alex Carrier

July 22nd, 2023 Weddings:

Alex Kerfoot - Coyotes (Maple Leafs) Notable Attendees: Justin Holl, Colin Blackwell, John Tavares, Morgan Reilly, Michael Bunting, Mitch Marner, Jake Muzzin

Nick Paul - Lightning (Senators) Notable Attendees: Chris Driedger, Drake Batherson, Thomas Chabot, Anthony Cirelli, Alex Killorn

Keith Kinkaid - (Devils, Canadiens, Rangers, Bruins, Avs)

July 24th, 2023 Weddings:

Anthony Mantha - Capitals Notable Guests: Nicholas Aube-Kubel, Julien Gauthier, Nick Jensen, Jonathan Benier

July 27th, 2023 Weddings:

Pavel Zacha - Bruins (Devils) Notable Attendees: Nico Hischier, Jesper Bratt

July 28th, 2023 Weddings:

Karson Kuhlman - Islanders (Kraken, Jets) Notable Guests: Kasimir Kaskiskuo

July 29th, 2023 Weddings:

Connor Murphy - Blackhawks (Coyotes) Notable Attendees: Sean Kuraly, Anthony Duclair, Dylan Strome, Jonathan Toews, Alex Debrincat, Taylor Raddysh, Mackenzie Entwistle, Brandon Hagel

Mitch Marner - Leafs Notable Attendees: Best Boy Zeus 🐶, Matt Martin, James Van Riemsdyk, Jake Gardiner, Tyler Bozak, Connor Brown, Justin Holl, Nazem Kadri, Willy Nylander, Zach Bogosian, Kyle Clifford, Jake Muzzin, Auston Matthews, Alex Kerfoot, Michael Bunting, Freddie Anderson, Rasmus Sandin, Morgan Reilly, Tyson Barrie, Connor Carrick, Joe Thorton, Patrick Marleau, Zach Hyman, Jack Campbell, TJ Brodie, Tyler Ennis, John Tavares, Timothy Liljegren

Ethan Bear - Canucks (Oilers, Hurricanes) Notable Attendees: Mat Barzal, Caleb Jones, Jujhar Khaira, Riley Stillman, Thatcher Demko, Austin Strand

Boone Jenner - Blue Jackets Notable Attendees: Zach Werenski, Seth Jones, Nick Blankenburg, Cole Sillinger, David Savard, Andrew Peeke, Scott Laughton, Elvis Merzlikins, Erik Gubranson

July 30th, 2023 Weddings:

Ryan Donato - Blackhawks (Kraken, Bruins) Notable Attendees: Jared McCann, Yanni Gourde, Matty Beniers, Adam Fox

August 3rd, 2023 Weddings:

Kevin Lankinen - Predators Notable Guests: Eeli Tolvanen

August 4th, 2023 Weddings:

Taylor Raddysh - Blackhawks (Lightning) Notable Guests: Dylan Strome, Connor Murphy, Anthony Cirelli

Kevin Hayes (2.0) - still Blues (Flyers, Rangers, Jets) Notable Guests: Keith Yandle, Scott Laughton, Shayne Gostibhere, Travis Sanheim, James van Riemsdyk, Brady Tkachuk, Matthew Tkachuk, Johnny Gaudreau, JT Miller, Zach Sanford, Tony DeAngelo, Brian Dumoulin, Brady Skjei, Paul Carey

August 5th, 2023 Weddings:

Conor Garland - Canucks (Coyotes) Notable Guests: Ryan Donato, Jakob Chychrun, Clayton Keller

Brendan Dillon - Jets (Capitals) Notable Guests: Tom Wilson, TJ Oshie, Jordie Benn, Jamie Benn, Trevor van Riemsdyke, Nic Dowd, Nick Jensen

Charlie McAvoy - Bruins Notable Guests: Hampus Lindholm, AJ Greer, Connor Clifton, Noel Acciari, Taylor Hall, Conor Sheary, Brad Marchand, Jake Debrusk, Matt Gryzeleyk, Derek Forbort, Brandon Carlo, David Krejci, Tuukka Rask, Jeremy Swayman, Charlie Coyle, Krug Torey, Matthew Tkachuk, Casey Fitzgerald, Colin White, Patrice Bergeron

Austin Watson - Senators Notable Guests: Cam Talbot, Anton Forsberg, Jarred Tinordi, Nick Paul, DJ Smith, Dylan Gambrell, Nick Holden, Thomas Chabot

Gage Quinney - Knights Notable Guests: Zach Whitecloud, Nicolas Roy, Jake Bischoff

Micke Rosell - player agent Notable Guests: William Nylander, Alex Nylander, Sam Ersson, Marcus Bjork

Joonas Johansson - Avs

August 6th, 2023 Weddings:

Dylan Larkin - Red Wings Notable Guests: Sam Gagner, Tyler Bertuzzi, Trevor Zegras, Kyle Connor, Troy Stecher, Marc Staal, Jeff Petry, Darren Helm, Zach Werenski, Mitchell Stephens, Riley Sheahan, Cole Caufield, Jack Hughes

August 11th, 2023 Weddings:

Shea Theodore - Knights Notable Guests: Ryan Reaves, Marc-Andre Fleury, Nick Holden, Mark Stone, Chandler Stephenson, Alex Tuch, Dylan Strome, Erik Haula, Jaycob Megna, Will Carrier, Jack Eichel, Alex Pietrangelo

Ryan Hartman - Wild Notable Guests: Matt Dumba, Marcus Foligno, Jared Spurgeon, Cam Talbot, Kirill Kaprizov, Jordan Greenway, Jon Merrill, Alex Goligoski, Jake Middleton, Mason Shaw, Calen Addison, Nick Schmalt, Matthew Boldy, Brandon Duhaime, Connor Dewar, Luke Kunin

August 12th, 2023 Weddings:

Chris Kreider - Rangers Notable Guests: Mika Zibanejad

[ivyithink]

what a little shit, honestly… good thing he’s pretty

another one for cringetober 2023! (some info under the cut here)

the prompt: day 15 — song lyrics! I have literally no idea why this is even on a list of “cringy” stuff??? do ya’ll hate fun and/or pain of combining characters you love with the songs you love??? anyway. the song!!

english translation:

lyrics being sung (ukrainian): “Hey I had me once a horse / Oh that horse was so rambunctious / Had me a sabre and a rifle / And a girl enchantress too…”

the reply (polish): “have you gone mad? what kind of girl am I?”

I don’t actually speak polish, so PLEASE do correct me if the translation is wrong!!! I tried my best with good old online translators, but again, not a native speaker, can’t be sure!!! I just really wanted to include the whole bilingual aspect of the film, because I love it a lot!))

[witchthewriter]

𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐞 '𝐆𝐚𝐳' 𝐆𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤

ISFP

Gryffindor

Chaotic Good

Gemini Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising

The fact that Kyle Garrick doesn't have as much popularity as some of the other characters in the Call of Duty world. is sinful. It's blasphemy.

Look, at first I was one of those people who didn't like Gaz as much as the rest of the Task Force, but now, NOW, I see him as such a valuable member. This is my formal apology to thy beautiful god of a man, Gaz.

And also a post so those that say, 'they don't know anything about Gaz so they cannot include him' - well here's your info babes!

"𝑳𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉?" — 𝖪𝗒𝗅𝖾 𝖦𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗄

Alias(es)

Sabre 2-6

Bravo 0-5

Bravo 2-6

Bravo 6-2

Bravo 6-1

Gaz

Nationality: British

Rank: Sergeant Sergeant is a senior role of responsibility, promotion to which typically takes place after 12 years of service, depending on ability. Sergeants typically are second in command of a troop or platoon of up to 35 soldiers, with the important responsibility for advising and assisting junior officers.

Birth: 1993 However, he is older than Soap.

Hair: Black

Eyes: Brown

Kyle Garrick enlisted in the British Army in 2008, serving in the Duke of Lancaster's Regiment, spending four years participating in test flights, jump competition and marksmanship before passing selection for Her Majesty's elite Special Air Service (SAS), where he is currently serving as a Sergeant for his sixth year.

Tasked to Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Turkey, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria. Garrick has spent the better part of his career hunting terrorist fighters.

Kyle earned the U.S. Marine Corps Gold Parachute Wings at Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune in North Carolina whilst on an exchange attachment and routinely cross-loads on operations with the SAS' American counterparts, the Navy SEALs.

Required to undergo resistance to interrogation (RTI) testing, Kyle was the only candidate in his class to escape the facility and evade capture.

Routinely subjected to physically and mentally uncomfortable scenarios, Kyle prides himself on high tolerance and tactical awareness.

Sergeant Garrick was awarded the Queen's Gallantry Medal and the General Service Medal for both covert and overt counter-terrorism operations in the Middle East, disrupting opium supply lines and poppy production, a major source of terrorist financing.

With expertise in prime target elimination, demolitions, weapons tactics, covert surveillance and VIP protection, Kyle currently serves on the SAS domestic counter-terror program, executing homefield missions with metropolitan police forces on European soil.

Challenging duty, due to civilian and collateral damage issues, Kyle seeks the opportunity to serve abroad again, and make a real difference combating the threat of terror.

Quotes

" Fuck off, shit pouch."

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place sir."

"They sent us in half assed, so everyone can just keep pretending we're not at war."

"I'm not dead, Nik. I'm hanging from a bloody rope!"

Personality

Very rarely does Kyle demand attention. He's observant problem-solving and bases his decisions on his instincts and values, and focuses on enjoying the present.

However, with the line of work he's in. Kyle has had to change the way he reacts to things. One really obvious scene between him and Cpt Price shows how this job is changing Kyle e.g,. Price’s quote about bloodying your hands after taking the gloves off.

Even so, I do think he's the most gentle of the four men, the kindest - almost like he's clung to his humanity with everything he's got.

sources: @mockerycrow. callofdutyfandom.com.

[orchuris]

MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT GAVE SABRE KOMATSU LEMONS

basically lots of silly happened in Pink’s discord which led to me animating this thing lol-

all these sillies and the au itself belongs to @pinktrashgoblin

(More info under the cut)

So we were all talkin about something (I forget what) and eventually it led to someone mentioning the cave johnson lemon speech with Sabre- which I had to animate obviously-

so have this silliness <33

Procreate Dreams died multiple times while this was being made so some details are funky or missing, oops. Regardless, I finally got to use my new favorite sketching pen :D

[tremendouscreationperson]

Din x Reader

This is a little idea that's been rattling around in my brain

Jedi!Reader is stuck in carbonite and Din finds them

Mando and the child Grogu are on the hunt for a Jedi

A lead points them to a pirate that tells them about a certain collection

Cue Mando, Grogu and Hondo breaking into what essentially is a very heavily guarded warehouse

The collection is a museum for very high class criminals and Hondo left that info out

Din is taking cover, counting how many guns are being fired and calculating angles when he realised Grogu isn't in his pouch

Grogu had toddled off to a carbonite slab

Din takes out the guards and possibly gets shot

Din looks at the carbonite and sees a rather defiant looking person

He tries to pry Grogu away but he isn't having any of it so Din releases the prisoner

He hopes this isn't a mistake

It is

Alarms blare and he can hear the comms of the guards he took out

More are coming

He has no idea where Hondo is

You basically flop out of the carbonite and take up a defensive stance

Oh that's why Grogu was interested

You wore a white hooded dress, and had violent lime hair

You wield the sabre and pointed vaguely in his direction

"I can't see"

There's footsteps

"You're a jedi."

"Yes."

They're almost through the door

"I need you to train my foundling."

"wha-?"

You guys weren't alone anymore, Din placed Grogu into your arms and sat you down

You placed the child down and rose planning on deflecting the shots

Even with no sight it would be easy peasy, the force would guide you

Ouch

You were hit

In the arm

What the kriff

You tried to feel for the force

It was there

But it was distant

It was quieter

Almost empty

Din saw what happened but didnt let it distract him

More guards came and he was ready to retreat

He pulled you by the arm

"trust me"

You didn't want to admit you had to

..

Once you could see you realised it was a Mandalorian

You didn't want to know the bounty on your head

"you know our kind aren't exactly friends right?" you chuckled

He was quiet

"I've been to Mandalore, I'd know."

That caught him off guard. He tilted his helmet

"What year is it for you?"

"20 BBY"

He didn't know what to say

"You've been in carbonite for a long time."

..

Seeing the child for the first time was an experience

You had slept in the copilots chair

You awoke to see the back of Yodas head

"Master Yoda?!"

The child turned

"oh? Maybe not."

"Yoda?" Din questioned

"there was a Master, he was this species."

You picked up the child on question

He was cute

"what species?"

"oh I don't know he was a bit tricky to get to know."

The mandalorian didn't speak

..

Bo Katan of all people

She was a sight for sore eyes

It was strange adjusting to this new world

It had been 20 years

You were in 0 BBY

She was shocked to see you

You'd only met once but you hadn't exactly changed

Din hadn't told you much about the jedi

He hadn't known much

"The Jedi order fell."

"how?"

Silence

He had given you a pad to research but the Imperial propaganda and censorship didn't help

Bo told you Maul caused Mandalore to become violent again leading to a civil war and that caused the Imps to burn it

You didn't know what to say

Neither did Din

She told you of another Jedi

Din was quick to follow the lead as the Jedi he had wasn't up to scratch

..

"I don't think I can feel the force anymore" You admitted

Din was sitting in the pilots chair, he turned to face you

You avoided his gaze

"its almost non existent"

"Why do you think that is?"

You bit your lip

"I don't know but it's awful"

You look at him

"it used to be everywhere. Like when you stand in the sun and can feel the warmth."

He was quiet

"oh, sorry I forgot."

He was quiet

"you know, like they said, there are Mandos that take off the helmet"

He tilted his head

"Im not saying do it, but if you ever want to know what the force was like...."

"I'll stand in the sun."

..

You hated sitting on the sidelines but right now you were only really a swordsman

Technically it was a skill but you hadn't realised how much you relied on the force

It felt like your safety wheels were removed

Din fought a cloaked figure in the woods and you practically dragged him off of her

"Ahsoka!"

She dropped her sabres and you both hugged

"Soka." You were crying

She was so much older

So different

Her lekku were so long

She was older than you

"I can't believe it."

You turned to the Mando and he picked up his child.

"I need you to tell me everything."

..

Din and Grogu waited by the campfire he built

He was anxious

He could see you and the other jedi in the distance

The fire was a distraction that only lasted 5 minutes

He was too good at survival

You slowly stood and wandered in the direction of the Crest

Din rose

Ahsoka followed suit but didn't follow you

She also stopped din

"give it time"

"what did you say?"

"I just told her what happened."

Ahsoka turned to the child and smiled

"no Grogu you won't be sad after we talk."

"Grogu?"

..

You emerged with jet black hair

He didn't make a comment but it was a stark difference

Ahsoka understood

Your species used hair as some use clothes

You had had many hair colours throughout the years she knew you

You were very quiet after

Din spoke to Ahsoka about taking the child

She said no

"what about her? She needs you."

She said no

"she doesn't."

..

Ahsoka had kept a keepsake

She had made a copy on the pad din let you use

You had the digital copy of Kenobi's message and an old Holo of you, anakin, obi, padme, ahoska and rex

"who are they?"

Din had waited to ask

This was the fifth time he saw you staring at the screen

"my family."

You pointed to each of them and named them all but the one man in the middle

"and who's he?"

"I can't answer that yet."

..

You and Grogu find the planet Ahsoka told you to go to amazing

"I can feel it"

He was happy to hear that

"in my fingertips?!" you made a face

That made din chuckle

You and din set Grogu onto the rock and watch as he meditates

A ship lands

Now that's an old face

Literally

You ran towards him

"Rex?!"

No

Din saw your disappointment

He spoke to Boba and Fennick

Boba recognised you

"the ransome on that girlie's head is worth almost as much as the child's" fennick commented

You took that as your queue to leave and headed back up to guard grogu

A ship of troopers lands

You stay in position as din tells you

Boba suits up and they all fight

A ship hovers over you

Troopers wearing black armour descend

No they're droids

You slice one in the leg and another straight through the middle

More are sent

You put up a good fight but these are machines

These are replaced quickly

You stand over metal scraps and still there's more being sent

You pick up Grogu and run

You don't make it far

..

Din finds you on the ground

There's a lot of blood

He looks up and sees they have Grogu

They shoot the crest

Din lifts you and runs to Boba

Boba offers a lift and medical supplies

..

You wake and are told the news

Your heart drops

Then it drops again

You can't ask

Not after his son being taken

You don't

It's cramped in Slave I

You and Din take the "morning shift"

One "morning" You're both sitting staring out of the window at the stars

"the pad didn't make it I guess"

You don't know what possessed you

It just slipped out

You and he were sitting comfortably

There was no need for it

He turned to face you and then his helmet and shoulders drooped

"Im sorry, I don't know wh-"

"its fine." He reassured you

"you just woke up to a new world and the only bit of your old world gets destroyed."

You watch as he faces the stars again

"You're allowed to mourn."

"Obi-Wan...

"..the one with the beard, had to take over my Jedi training after my Master was killed by Ventress."

"They still show his wanted Holo, he hasn't been recorded as dead."

That didn't sound the way he wanted it to but you understood

He may be out there

Was that good or bad?

"Ahsoka was almost like the little sister I always wanted, oh and Rex? He was the big brother I didn't know I wanted."

"the clone?"

"He wasn't just a clone."

You held yourself tighter

"Padme was the fiercest woman I've ever met and yes that includes your lot. She was a queen and a senator and just amazing."

You paused

"she was pregnant when she died. She was so excited, she wasn't meant to be, God that was so complicated, but she was so happy."

Din watched you let a tear fall

"she liked names beginning with L, lila or Leia, and she loved the name lucas or luke"

"They're humble names"

"she loved them"

You both maintained eye contact as he asked

"Why was it complicated?"

"anakin skywalker"

The name skywalker was familiar

A jedi general in the clone wars

Din didn't know much else

"anakin fell in love which isn't exactly allowed, theres ways around the rule but Obi was a bit strict. He and padme weren't subtle. We pretended not to notice but they were pregnant."

Din nodded once

"anakin was always a little... moody, a little dark. But he was the balance he had to be dark so he could be light..."

You took a breath

"He was meant to be the Chosen One."

You were struggling and Mando could tell but he let you continue

"Ahsoka thought he died, or like the others was MIA, but she..

.. So maul took over Mandalore"

You changed the subject

"He had a vision that anakin would turn and the only way to save everyone, to keep the peace was to kill him. She didnt believe it. No one who knew him would. He was a brilliant man and always fought the good fight.

She met maul again and he led her and some others to a sith temple, they got what they came for but Darth Vader turned up."

You had heard of Vader

He immediately came up on the pad the first time you tried to search the word Jedi

"She had heard rumours. But when they fought she sliced his mask."

You but your lip to stop it quivering

Din leant over

He placed his gloved hand on yours

"You don't have to say anymore"

You shook your head

"it was him." You choked out

Din didn't know what to do

He pulled you in for a very awkward embrace

You didn't really care that the armour was cold

Or that you were leaning at an awful angle

Or that you were crying infront of a mandalorian in anothers ship

Once you quietened down you muttered

"Soka thinks I'm weak with the force because of the time, like a muscle atrophing"

He nodded, still embracing you

"were going to find him and then get you two trained"

You agreed

..

Dins friends all stood awaiting imminent death

You had retrieved his son

You had also encountered the dark troopers again

Droids back in your day were easier to kill

There was a ship behind you

A single fighter

It felt

Warm

"Mando." You caught his attention and subtly waved your fingers

It didn't at first but then it clicked

He moved to the surveillance screens

There was a figure mowing down the troopers

"that's what you're meant to be doing" the big lady, Cara, commented

"I know."

The figure waited by the closed doors

"open the doors" Din ordered

It came through and you all braced yourself

He placed the sabre back in his belt

Then pulled his hood back

Maker he looked familiar

"You're a jedi." it wasn't a question

"I am." He extended a hand towards Grogu "come little one"

You watched as Grogu looked between the two

"He wants your permission." the Jedi spoke

Mando looks to you

"you'll train him?"

"I will."

"You're young, who trained you?"

The Jedi looked taken aback by that

"Master Yoda."

Your eyes lit up

"Yodas alive?"

The look on his face told you otherwise

"You.. are interesting."

You looked around the room before deflecting

"if we send Grogu with you will you keep him safe?"

"You have my word."

Din cuts in

"What good is the word of a stranger?"

"my name is Luke Skywalker."

You stared at him in shock

Absolute shock

"You both need training."

Lucky guess

He offers you a place

You decline

You can't

But you will go with him to his ship and talk

..

Din thinks you're both leaving him

He takes his helmet off for Grogu which he sees you're pointedly avoiding looking

He appreciates that

He reaches out and squeezes your hand

You need this

You were practically family with the skywalkers

He stars the Jedi in the eye and hopes you'll be safe

..

He is shocked when you return

You walk back to find his helmet secured and the others very casually not mentioning it was off

"I spent my whole childhood, from age 4 learning and training." You explained later on as you sat next to him

"I know it all, its just practice." You sounded unsure

"Im glad youre here." He hesitated before patting your knee

..

[darkeralmond]

Stay, Stay, Stay

Owen Power x Reader

song: stay stay stay - taylor swift

synopsis: after the sabres lose the game, owen is really upset and you two get in an argument. the next morning, you apologize to owen

warnings: angst, fluff, arguing

word count: 942

a/n: this is shorter than my usual ones, but i love red tv and i wanna start making more fics with taylor swift songs and more fics abt nhl players

masterlist | request info

The Sabres lost the game due to an overtime shot. Your heart sank as you listened to the loud buzzer pierced through the intense air, knowing it was over. You watched as Owen got off the ice, throwing his stick in anger.

You left your seat and walked straight out of the arena. You waited a bit outside the locker room while staring at your nails. Finally, you heard the door fly open and saw an angry Owen with his duffel bag.

It was obvious to you that he had been crying over the loss. “Baby,” you frowned as you went up to him. Your hand moved on its own, cupping one side of his face, rubbing circles there.

He didn’t say anything when you touched his cheek, just looked away from you. “Hey… you played amazing.” It wasn’t often he would cry, but when he did, it shattered your heart.

He shook his head, pushing your hand away from him. “It’s whatever,” he huffed, walking away from you. It hurt so much to see him like this. He bottled up all his emotions to prove that he was tough, which meant he would break constantly.

You hurried after him, catching up to him before you could lose him again. “No, baby, it isn’t,” you argued, grabbing his arm lightly.

He froze immediately and turned around, eyes flashing in anger. “Leave me , Y/N. I don’t want to hear what you have to say right now, I’m pissed. The team was losing, that’s all. And the guys were being assholes.”

You lowered your eyebrows, your jaw slightly clenching. “I wasn’t the one who beat you, you don’t have to get angry with me.”

Owen frowned, realizing how this had been affecting you. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, but you weren’t done yet.

“You always act so distant every time you guys lose,” you argued. “It’s not my fault! I don’t know why you treat me like it was. How am I supposed to love someone who doesn't care about me?”

His hands curled into fists at his sides. “Y/N…you know that’s not true. I… I care about you. I love you,” he told you sincerely, putting his palm to your cheek. You pushed him away just like he had before. He sighed, “Let’s just go home and just… talk to me when you calm down.”

He unlocked his car and got in the driver’s seat. You watched as he did so, your demeanor shifting from angry to heartbroken seeing him like this. With trembling fingers you climbed into the passenger's seat next to him.

The argument continued through the night, causing you to lose sleep. It was now morning and you were laying in your bed, staring at the wall as you recapped what happened the night before. You and your boyfriend of 2 years almost broke up the previous night.

You had thrown your phone at him in a fit of rage and you even forced him to sleep on the couch. You felt tears prickle your eyes as the look on his face replayed in your head, the look of despondent on his face.

You knew what you needed to do, you needed to resolve the argument. You got out of bed and opened up the bedroom door, you saw him sitting on the couch with a blank expression on his face.

The bags under his eyes were heavy, proving that you weren’t the only one who lost sleep over the argument. He looked up at you, taking a deep breath in.

You knew what he was expecting. He was expecting you to break up with him. It broke your heart to see him like this. You sighed, “We should talk about it.”

He got up from the couch and went into his hockey duffel bag, pulling out his helmet and throwing it on his head. “Okay, let’s talk.”

A small smile slipped on your face as you approached him. You took the helmet off his head and sighed. “I want you to stay,” you confessed. His eyes became glossy as his eyebrows slightly raised. “I’ve been loving you for quite some time… and I know no one else is gonna love me when I’m mad.”

Tears escaped from the corner of your eyes as you pressed your lips together in a tight line. He placed his hands on the side of your arms, gently rubbing them. “I think that it’s best if we both stay,” you sobbed.

“Oh, honey.” He pulled you into a tight hug, your arms quickly wrapping around him as you sobbed into his chest. “Of course I’ll stay. I always will.” You looked up at him, a small smile forming on your face as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

You closed your eyes, feeling yourself being pulled in a sense of safety. His scent washed over you as you melted into his embrace.

You let go of him, wiping away some of your tears before letting out a giggle. He grabbed your hand and led you over to the couch. “I’m so used to dating douchebags who take all their problems out on me.” You sat down next to him, his arm snaking around you. “But you carry my groceries and now I’m always laughing,” you said. “That’s why I want you to stay.”

Owen glanced down at your lips again and sighed. “Y/N, I love you because you have given me no choice but to stay.”

Your cheeks turned a light pink as you buried your face in his shoulder. You held onto his shirt, not wanting to lose contact.

[echoing-locations]

LOA Star Wars!! 2 for 1 deal today folks!! Ex-Jedi/animal tamer Gricko and youngling Hootsie!!!

As always info under cut

so Gricko is now an animal tamer who works for Kremy, he wrangles animals being smuggled places or being given as gifts. He was a smuggler for a short time. Gricko is also a Ex-Jedi, he served the order since he was a kid but after seeing his master killed and the council doing nothing in the aftermath, he left the order. Because of this he barely uses his lightsaber, he always has it on him just in case but never uses it, and it’s blue because a blue blade means the wilder is more physical in the force and a strong fighter.

Hootsie was a youngling (not yet a padawan) in the Jedi temple and still has a lot to learn about the force. She’s selectively mute because she can’t speak common well and instead of having a full lightsaber she has one of the temple’s training sabres, which means that it’s not as dangerous as a full one but if you get hit by it, it’ll still hurt a good deal. Gricko found Hootsie while on coruscant, she was just wandering about the lower levels all by herself, so he took her back to his ship and flew back to Carnival Lecroux. (though he did make some stops in between)

We love it when a dad kidnaps forcefully adopts his daughter

[starvedvampire]

a little introduction before you proceed

hi everyone, my name is Sabre🩸i’m 24, i only use he/him pronouns, although i don’t identify as 100% male. i’m transmasc, in any case. a bisexual switch*, i welcome all queer people to this space (especially fellow transmascs hi there).

*sub-leaning, usually i only feel comfortable domming people i’ve developed an emotional connection with, but we can try

please keep in mind that i’m in a fulfilling relationship with my partner, @my-vampires-favourite-treat (yes matching usernames 🥰). she is not only the object of all my love and adoration, but also my proud owner and my lovely bun🌻 my mind, body and soul are his🖤 (also she’s responsible for so many of my most recent kinks omg i fucking love her)

we’re both polyamorous tho, so if you want to sext/flirt with me that’s cool, just as long you know i’ll communicate it to her

please remember that this blog is for me and me alone. if you enjoy the things i post or rb, that’s great, i’m glad to know there are others who share my insanity, but keep in mind i don’t owe anyone here anything and i will block whoever makes me uncomfortable or disrespects me.

I firmly believe the best experiences related to intimacy are the ones that include enthusiastic and clear consent. even if some of the scenarios in this blog don’t explicitly show it, never forget that all sexual interactions fundamentally require consent from all parties involved, as it’s crucial to have it before you engage in kinks (also while you’re engaging bc it’s important to check up on your partner).

Kinks, asks, terms, DNI below the cut…

🩸fuck yES: monsterfucking, aliens, demons, tentacles, slime, belly inflation, oviposition, hucow/lactation/breast expansion, biting and blood as in vampirism, dumbification, breeding (pregnancy but only in theory, never in practice), praise and degradation, corruption, drooling, use of aphrodisiacs, body worship, restraints, humiliation. pet play bc my partner got me into it 🌻 hypno and voyeurism are both tumblr’s fault

🩸 maybe/sometimes: priest kink, cnc, exhibitionism, dacryphilia, hierophilia, light intox (alcohol)

🩸 dislike/don’t include me: birth (mentions are fine but no graphic descriptions), guns, belly bursting, gore, feet, anything unsanitary

🩸 hard no: detransition kink, misgendering, incest, dd/lg, age play, bestiality, r4pe play

Regarding asks and dms:

🩸 to be honest when it comes to messages i’m not consistent at all but you can try your luck if you want. just please ease into it before jumping into graphic stuff, say hi and your pronouns and stuff.

also please don’t text me in a sexual way if you’re under 21, over 35 or identify as a straight man.

🩸as for asks, please send more and give me an excuse to touch myself (just keep my pinned info in mind)

Terms you can use when referring to me:

Please only use these, i will only accept others if i’ve previously agreed:

🩸pet and filth names: darling, slut, cumslut, cockslut, pet, love, whore, beloved, sweetheart. call me good boy/pretty boy and i will literally melt🖤

🩸body parts: regarding to the ones that may cause me dysphoria, please only use cunt, hole, tdick, dick, cock, strap, clit, chest and tits. terms for other body parts are all fine.

DO NOT INTERACT / WILL BLOCK YOU IF:

❌ you’re a minor (under 18) or your age isn’t visible in your bio/pinned.

❌ if you send me pictures of genitals with no context/unprompted, i will block you

❌ you fetishize trans people/trans experiences. remember i’m a person and i am worthy of respect just like everybody else

❌ you’re a terf, swerf, transmed, pro-life, ableist, racist, misogynist, homophobic, islamophobic, antisemite. bigots in general please don’t come near here

❌ thinspo blogs stay the fuck away

❌ p*dos i will fucking report you, don’t try me🔪

Tags i’ll be using:

🩸#sabre posts: for random thoughts and whatever

🩸#thirsty sabre: this is my horny license which i can whip out at a moment’s notice

🩸#sabre types: for answering all your horny asks

Anon tags: #💜 #💫

the #🌻 is reserved for my beloved bunny

*i’ll try to tag my kinks as they appear in my posts but i get distracted easily so no promises.

i reserve the right to change/update/alter this at any given time

🖤🩸that’s all, remember to take care of yourselves while misbehaving🩸🖤

[abbies-rescuebot-stuff]

uh oh, info dump time

info about the bots in my universe

ive done a bit of rearranging with when certain things happen, mostly in rba, so just keep that in mind.

there's some info about robot parenthood at the bottom, so you may wanna give that a read first otherwise you be a little confused by some of the terms i use.

i'll probably come back to this from time to time, so keep an eye on it. ;) you never know who else might join the party.

Main Four

Heatwave Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 27 (RB S1, 2012) 31 (RB S4, 2016) 33 (RBA S1, 2018) 35 (Post RBA S2, 2020) 42 (2027) 45 (2030) 49 (2034)

Status- Living

Personality Overview- Heatwave was born into a world of passion, fueled by his carrier's desire for greatness. He took a lot after her, especially temper. However, the older he got, the more he mellowed out. He's a very proud and stubborn bot, which often rubs off on others. His role as leader has inspired others to better themselves. Bits and pieces of his fiery attitude can be seen in his children, especially his oldest, Firefly.

Occupation- Rescue Bot (firefighter) Academy professor

Immediate Family- "The Bull" (sire) Wildfire (carrier) Possibly numerous half-siblings Blades (conjunx, carrier of children) Firefly (oldest child) Torch (youngest son)

Other relatives- Sabre (ex-amanti, separated on good terms) Quickshadow (older sister-like figure) Cody (younger brother-like figure)

Chase Pronouns- He/Him

Earth age(s)- 26 (RB S1, 2012) 30 (RB S4, 2016) 32 (RBA S1, 2018) 34 (Post RBA S2, 2020) 41 (2027) 44 (2030) 48 (2034)

Personality Overview- What comes off as cold and uncaring is really just the way Chase was raised and how he shield's himself from past trauma. His analytical nature has served him well in avoiding social situations that may not benefit him. Why waste his time on something if it has nothing to do with his current task? Slowly but surely though, his walls have come down, and his bottled up emotions pouring out, allowing him to truly heal and live without fear. At the end of the day, he loves curling up with a good book, especially if it's of the crime fiction variety.

Status- Living

Occupation- Rescue Bot (police/law enforcement) Academy professor

Immediate Family- Patron/Pata (patron, real name unknown) Cruise Control (matron) Unborn sparks (siblings, failed to thrive) Unborn spark (miscarriage with Pierce) Boulder (conjunx, sire of children) Wedge (oldest adoptive child) Boomer (youngest son)

Other relatives- Sabre (distant cousin) Quickshadow (distant cousin) Pierce (ex-amanti) Blades Pronouns- He/She

Earth Age(s)- 25 (RB S1, 2012) 29 (RB S4, 2016) 31 (RBA S1, 2018) 33 (Post RBA S2, 2020) 40 (2027) 43 (2030) 47 (2034)

Personality Overview- If you ever want to hear the latest gossip around town, Blades is your bot. Binging reality TV shows brings her much joy, a passion she shares with her oldest child, Firefly, who will vehemently deny liking such things. This plucky little helibot is all about staying active and healthy, often dragging his family into doing the latest and greatest exercise regimes, much to their chagrin in trying to resist. She does love lazing around like a couch potato occasionally though.

Status- Living

Occupation- Rescue Bot (paramedic) Academy professor

Immediate Family- Unknown creators Heatwave (conjunx, sire of children) Firefly (oldest child) Torch (youngest son)

Other Relatives- Unknown

Boulder Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 24 (SB S1, 2012) 28 (RB S4, 2016) 30 (RBA S1, 2018) 32 (Post RBA S2, 2020) 39 (2027) 42 (2030) 46 (2034)

Personality Overview- A lovable teddy bear who just wishes everyone would get along. Don't take his kindness and wishes for naivety though. While he may not have had a happy beginning, he uses his experience to better the lives of others and has played a vital role in the healing of his conjunx, adoptive child, and even himself. His day isn't complete until he's made his family smile, even the tiniest. He has a special interest in botany and ornithology, finding joy in pastimes relating to his passions.

Status- Living

Occupation- Rescue Bot (engineer) Academy professor

Immediate Family- Unknown creators Glory (adoptive matron/carrier, academy sponsor) Chase (conjunx, carrier of children) Wedge (oldest adoptive child) Boomer (youngest son)

Other Relatives- Unknown

Offspring

Wedge Pronouns- He/They

Earth Age(s)- 13 (RBA S1, 2018) 14 (RBA S2, 2019) 15 (Post RBA S2, 2020) 22 (2027) 25 (2030) 29 (2034)

Personality Overview- Since his brother was born, Wedge has strived to be the best role model for him. They still often struggle with when Pierce came to the academy, but nothing a big hug from his family can't fix and take his mind off of it...only if for a little while. Sometimes though they need a little extra helping hand from someone who isn't family to ease his nerves. To this day, he still owns a few decks of Heroes of Cybertron cards, and no, he will never get rid of them.

Status- Living

Occupation- Rescue Bot (construction)

Immediate Family- Pierce (patron/sire) Unborn sparks (tube brood, failed to thrive) Boulder (adoptive sire) Chase (adoptive carrier) Boomer (adoptive younger brother)

Other Relatives- Patron/Pata (maternal grandpatron) Cruise Control (maternal grandmatron) Glory (adoptive grandmatron) Scorch (on-again/off-again amanti)

Boomer Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 0 (2020) 7 (2027) 10 (2030) 14 (2034)

Personality Overview- Boomer inherited his love for nature from his sire, but also takes care to understand the balance and laws it enacts on the world. Using his knowledge, he applies what he's learned from his experience and what his creators have taught him into his lessons at the academy. He's a fan of Hawaiian shirts and Jurassic Park and also has a love for reptiles and insects. He has a stuffed albino ball python named Philomena who he sleeps with every night.

Status- Living

Occupation- Academy student

Immediate Family- Boulder (sire) Chase (carrier) Wedge (adoptive older brother)

Other relatives- Patron/Pata (maternal grandpatron) Cruise Control (maternal grandmatron) Glory (adoptive grandmatron)

Voice Claim- Paul Mikel-Williams

Firefly Pronouns- She/He

Earth Age(s)- 0 (2020) 7 (2027) 10 (2030) 14 (2034)

Personality Overview- Basically if Heatwave's genes Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V'd themselves. Firefly has a bit of her carrier in her too though. He can be very excitable and optimistic about things, while on the other hand, dark humor is his favorite kind. She’s the kind of kid that would hang out in a cemetery all night for fun and to prove that "c'mon guys, it's not that scary!" He enjoys hanging out with his best friend, Boomer, and loves his little brother, Torch, conditionally.

Status- Living

Occupation- Academy student

Immediate Family- Heatwave (sire) Blades (carrier) Torch (younger brother)

Other relatives- "The Bull" (paternal grandsire) Wildfire (paternal grandcarrier)

Voice Claim- Dakota Fanning

Torch Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 0 (2027) 3 (2030) 7 (2034)

Personality Overview- Is either a complete genius or dumber than a bag of rocks. There is no in between. One may often find him in the middle of the night staring at his creators as they slumber, wanting...something. What does he want? He doesn't know, but he knows he wants it and he wants it now.

Status- Living

Occupation- None/student

Immediate Family- Heatwave (sire) Blades (carrier) Firefly (older sibling)

Other Relatives- "The Bull" (paternal grandsire) Wildfire (paternal grandcarrier)

voice claim- AJ Kane

Other Bots

Quickshadow Pronouns- She/Her

Earth Age(s)- 20s (pre/current-war) 31 (RB S4, 2016) 35 (RBA S1, 2018) 51 (Post RBA, 2034)

Personality Overview- Snarky but well-meaning, if going about it the wrong way. Per "uncover secret agent" mumbo-jumbo, she's closed herself off from most relationships. That's not to say, she's got skeletons in her closet.

Status- Alive

Occupation- Agent (pre/post-war) Rescue Bot (post-war, current)

Immediate Family- Unknown creators Vaporwave (amanti, carrier of adoptive daughter) Seafoam (adoptive daughter)

Other Relatives- Sabre (distant cousin) Chase (distant cousin) Heatwave (younger brother-like figure)

Sabre Pronouns- He/They

Earth Age(s)- 20s (pre/current-war) 33 (post-war, RBA S1, 2018) 34 (at time of Frostbite's emergence, RBA S2, 2019) 35 (post-RBA S2, 2020) 43 (at time of Icicle's emergence, 2028) 49 (2034)

Personality Overview- Sabre was bit of a party animal in his early years. After his first couple of years at the academy, he straightened out quickly while still maintaining a fun attitude and generally being a well-respected, strong leader. He was once on the same team as Heatwave, being his second in command, and was his amanti, but the two amicably split after Sabre left the team to lead his own squadron of first responders. It was through him that Heatwave met Chase and Blades (separately), ultimately leading to the re/formation of the Sigma-17 first responder team. It's also through Sabre that the Academy on Earth receives new recruits.

Status- Alive

Occupation- Rescue Bot (pre-war, inactive) Dean/Principal of Academy on Cybertron (current)

Immediate Family- Unknown creators Snowraith (conjunx, sire of children) Frostbite (oldest son) Icicle (youngest daughter)

Other Relatives- Chase (distant cousin) Quickshadow (distant cousin) Heatwave (ex-amanti, separated on good terms)

Voice Claim- Alastair James

Pierce Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 20s (as a Rescue Bot) Early-30s (as a Decepticon, at time of Wedge's emergence) 36 (since last seeing him, post-RBA S2, 2019)

Personality Overview- Cocky, flirtatious, and has a need to control everything and everyone. He can't stand the idea of something not going his way, especially when it comes to relationships. He will do or say whatever he needs to for everything to be in his favor. That's why when innocent, naïve little Chase came into his clutches, he dare not let go.

Status- Living (incarcerated)

Occupation- Rescue Bot (unknown, possibly construction) Decepticon (unknown rank/occupation) None (incarcerated)

Immediate family- Unknown (low-born) Unborn sparks (offspring, failed to thrive) Unborn spark (miscarriage with Chase) Wedge (offspring/son)

Other Relatives- Chase (ex-amanti)

Voice Claim- Eric Dane

"The Bull" (real name unknown) Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 30s (at time of Heatwave's conception/emergence) 40s (since seeing him last) Unknown

Personality Overview- Not much is known about Heatwave's sire, not even where his nickname came from, other than he was battle-hardened and ready to fight at the drop of a hat. Years of being a successful combatant in the gladiator pits has led him feeling little to no emotion towards others. Every bot has needs though...just ask all of his previous partners.

Status- Unknown (most likely deceased)

Occupation- Gladiator (at time of Heatwave's conception/emergence) Unknown

Immediate Family- Possibly numerous partners Wildfire (one-time fling, carrier of child) Heatwave (son) Possibly numerous offspring

Other Relatives- Unknown

Voice Claim- Norman Reedus

Wildfire Pronouns- She/Her

Earth Age(s)- 20s (height of her career) 30s (at time of Heatwave's conception/emergence) Unknown

Personality Overview- She's didn't take no scrap from no one. If she didn't like someone, she would let them know. She was prideful, but didn't care to boast. Everyone already knew she was the best. If you ever wondered where Heatwave got his fiery spirit from, all fingers would be pointed in her direction.

Status- Unknown (most likely deceased)

Occupation- Gladiator (before retiring due to injury) Arena Battle-Matron/Sponsor (before Heatwave's emergence) Lobbing coach Unknown

Immediate Family- "The Bull" (one-time fling, sire of child) Heatwave (son)

Other Relatives- Unknown

Voice Claim- Nicki Rapp

Chase's Patron/Pata (real name unknown) Pronouns- He/Him

Earth Age(s)- 30s (at time of Chase's conception/emergence) 40s (since seeing him last) Unknown

Personality Overview- Keeps to himself, not very sociable. He was a good provider according to Chase, but didn't interact with him all that much. When Cruise passed away though, Chase's patron started reaching out to him. They had started to build up a good relationship with each other until the fateful day Chase never returned home.

Status- Unknown (most likely deceased)

Occupation- Unknown (some sort of law enforcement)

Immediate Family- Unknown creators (high-class bots) Cruise Control (conjunx, arranged, matron of child) Chase (sole offspring) Unborn sparks (offspring, failed to thrive)

Other Relatives- Wedge (adoptive grandchild) Boomer (grandson)

Voice Claim- Jeremy Sisto

Cruise Control Pronouns- They/Them

Earth Age(s)- 30s (at time of Chase's conception/emergence) 40s (at death)

Personality Overview- Gentle, soft-spoken, firm but fair. They would often sing to Chase to sleep when he first emerged. They just wanted the best for Chase. They're remembered fondly by Chase, especially after Boomer is born.

Status- Deceased

Occupation- Rescue Bot (law enforcement, retired) Stay at home matron (until death)

Immediate Family- Unnamed creators (upper-class bots) Unnamed spark-siblings Chase's Patron/Pata (conjunx, arranged, patron of child) Chase (sole offspring) Unborn sparks (offspring, failed to thrive)

Other relatives- Wedge (adoptive grandchild) Boomer (grandson)

Voice Claim- E.R. Fightmaster

Glory Pronouns- She/Her

Earth Age(s)- 40s (first time meeting Boulder, at time of his enrollment as a rescue bot recruit) 50s (at time of Boulder's promotion to full-time rescue bot, since seeing her last)

Personality Overview- Sweet as sugar, and the most patient bot you'll ever meet. She's the kind of bot that would call you "baby/honey" unironically and is basically a saint. She would have loved Earth and all of its beauty.

Status- Unknown (most likely deceased)

Occupation- Foster matron Sponsor Caregiver

Immediate Family- Unknown Boulder (ward, adoptive son)

Other relatives- Wedge (adoptive grandchild) Boomer (adoptive grandson)

Voice Claim- Natasha Rothwell

What is a matron/patron and why aren't they the same as a carrier/sire? A matron/patron, or matriarch/patriarch, is a bot who has offspring, (sparkling's, bitlet's, sparklet's, etc.), that have been produced via alternative means versus the common, low-class methods (interfacing). If one wanted sparkling's and were lucky enough to be well off financially, they may invest in this different kind of conception. Since these bots did not technically sire/carry the sparkling, they are simply known as a matron/patron. They may choose to be called by either/any name if they so wish. Many middle to upper-class families may choose this form of procreation for religious beliefs, personal preference, or peer pressure.

A matron/patron may also only procreate as a means of status, having as many as they can afford to create and marrying them off to other mid/upper-class families.

How does it work? With either one or two creators, pieces of their DNA are put into a tiny protoform, creating new life. From there, it's up to the creator(s) if they wish to raise the newspark as a normal sparkling or if they wish to accelerate its growth. Accelerating its growth process skips over any undesirable steps a carrier would normally have to go through, such as enduring symptoms of carrying the unborn spark, emergence pains, and so on. The newspark will grow until they have reached an age where they can be independent but still malleable. In earth terms, these newsparks would be around the age of nine years old, equaling to nine months, the normal growth cycle for a human fetus.

How can these terms best be used? Middle to upper-class bots prefer matron/patron to less informal names or no name at all. If produced through methods like interfacing, offspring will refer to their creators as mata/pata until they've outgrown the terms. Sparkling's born on alien planets may be more inclined to refer to their creators by names from the native dialect of the world though. An example of this would be a bitlet referring to their creator(s) as mama/papa, regardless of whether they are masculine or feminine-presenting.

What if a bot identifies as [pronouns here]? It really is personal preference. If a sparkling has a femme (she/her) sire and/or a mech (he/him) carrier, matron/mata and patron/pata can be interchanged. Patron/Matron are more so meant to be gender-neutral and not adhere to specific gender roles, just what their coding dictates and/or the preference of the parent(s).

TLDR; just a buncha mumbo-jumbo about giant alien robots and their mommies and daddies. 👍

bonus family tree pic of the main four's families. quickshadow and sabre not included bc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"the bull" and chase's patron are to the left of their partners, while wildfire and cruise and to the right. glory is by herself.

[hxnguxng-jxn]

Hello! Just read the requests rules haha! So is it okay to ask for enemies to lovers with wwx and lwj?? Also Can the reader be a wen? Maybe a war prize (you can ignore this part if it too much!) Oh! Can the reader be like evil at first??

Writers Note(s): I will be honest, I did not expect this to be the first trope in my first request, it actually surprised me! I think I can do almost all of these but a certain angsty trope above is swapped for another (you'll see below), but I will make it angsty!

Ship(s): WangXian × GN!Reader | separated and then together

Info on Reader: GN Reader (they/them, you/your), Reader is a Wen (undisclosed how they are related), and Reader is good at fighting (uses a sword/sabre/great sword here).

Genre(s): Angst | Eventual Fluff | Happy Ending

WARNING(S): Reader is treated more like a character insert (OC blank slate, basically), less of a true Reader insert. The Reader willingly follows Wen Ruohan's orders, with no reason given (for blank slate purposes). Physical abuse in the form of Reader not being given a weapon to train is shown, Reader being treated poorly (like the Wen's were) is shown. The Reader has be given a redemption and will LIVE in the end! Beheading is mentioned (if unable to stomach, skip the bullet with 🔴).

ENDGAME: A happy ending! Reader will have their happy ending!

Fujoshis DNI || Remember to read to your own safety!

Your mind has always been taught that you'll die for your family, and die when you need to. Of course, the closer to the main family of Wen Ruohan you are, the more you'll hear his paranoid and psychopathic ideals rattle off like that... but you'd never heard of his rambles until you were old enough to hold a sword.

The instant anyone could: Wen Ruohan would come sniffing.

Wen Qing and Wen Ning were distant enough to not be under his thumb, especially with how sickly Wen Ning was: but you're far from lucky. No matter how healthy or sickly you are, what your distance was to his main bloodline, or if you're simply married in... he seems to have taken a liking to your branch of family, but mostly in you.

From youth to young adulthood, you have lost track of all of the teachings of the demons of Gusu, the heathens of Yunmeng, the yellowbellies of Lanling, and more. It was just how the Wen's brainwashed you into believing the outside world to be how Ruohan saw it. Weak. Deplorable. Conquerable.

Future you, while laying in bed with your two husbands, laments and categorize your past as you are the last one awake so late into the night...

You had done many things in the backlines of the war started by your family patriarch, and no form of killing was off the table for your blade. You've survived the siege on Gusu, even though you didn't light the Cloud Recesses on fire. Yunmeng had been next, and you know that afterwards you became mostly a foot soldier after Wen Ruohan only trusted his direct sons and one certain soldier.

How foolish of Wen Ruohan to trust anyone, especially that one soldier (you later identify as Meng Yao) he kept at his side and who didn't have to crawl when speaking to him. It only takes one soldier to kill another man. And Wen Ruohan, no matter his psychopathic ramblings, was just a man.

After killing Clan Leader Nie, burning the Cloud Recesses, held the Night-hunt of the Xuanwu of Slaughter, massacring Yunmeng, attempted to wipe out the Martial Arts World of all that weren't Wen's, massacres of towns that didn't adhere to his laws, killing for something as dumb as a curfew... Truly, he did believe in some backwards ways. You lambasted the man's name to this day.

This man, who ruined the lives of all those he shared the surname with... even yourself.

During the First Sunshot Campaign you had been captured by some Lan nobody far from the grand steps where your patriarch was slain, and the sharp whistling of Chenqing dies down. The corpses stopped piling, blood stopped pooling, and sound seemed to have muted in the vacuum it left. Your fate was sealed as you were identified in the later parts of imprisoning your family members to places of servitude. But you were well learned and knew what the penalty for your entire family name was destined to be.

It was inevitable, and there was no use crying or wailing with the children and babies.

Because of your usefulness, you were put to use by training the youth and young adults in the camps as they took back their homes. You weren't given a weapon of any kind―oh no, that'd give you too much power―so you'd have to make do with dodging and hand-to-hand. Of course, eventually, you'll grow tired and then they'll be able to strike you.

You were basically their physical punching bag, their war prize that they know would not leave no matter the abuse. You're always moving with the main squadron and it seems the big names of Jiang, Lan, Nie, and Jin found it comfortable you weren't out of their sight for too long.

The kids were nice. Some kids are nice and wouldn't strike you without reason; good kids, all around. Some imitate their older classmates, who had fathers and mothers lost to war, and it seems like karmic justice somewhere in your mind.

Your only saving grace was the daily "random" wooden sword you'd find in the large water grace bear where they drag you to train the new wave. A certain younger, mournful looking twin Jade always seemed to walk the water path as you were dragged from your hut, so you have a good idea as to who your savior is.

Days and nights, in deep thought as you're forced to eat gruel to help heal your wounds, you can see your savior passing you hidden notes about someone you've heard from the late Wen Chou many times. That Wei Wuxian. What was Lan Zhan trying to tell you? You couldn't even leave. You probably just have to hold off, and so you remember doing so.

Finally, comes the day of Wen Ning's death and resurrection, and it hits your ears like a gong as waves of bloodlust comes from nowhere. After the defect of Wei Wuxian and the disappearance of all Wen's not underneath the direct law of the Four Clans, all Wen's seemed to die overnight in waves...

【🔴】 ... and your beheading reached your ears as well, like you could even miss it with the guards keeping themselves informed loudly by your hut.

Now or never... no guts, no glory!

Escaping while the families were busy infighting and dealing with the loss of Wei Wuxian from their side was the easy part. Turning around at the last second to see the youngest Twin Jade watching you leave―silent and mournful, as every day you see each other―you give a look of determination back...

... you could swear your eyes deceived you, but you could swear you saw his expression soften. Not grow gleeful, or joyous. But relax.

Without looking back, you head to where you're certain the note from Lan Zhan will carry you to your remaining clan members. And you're sure it'll be safe. If it wasn't, you'll aid Wei Wuxian all you can.

By the time you get to the Burial Mounds, your aid is just needed tending to fields or taking over as a babysitter for the young. This was where you could officially meet Wei Wuxian, who was weary of you but apparently someone put in a good word for you before you even took off for the plains.

You'd classify it as: strange. Not bad. Just strange. But after months of personally being Wei Wuxian's backbone, assisting the doctors, hunting with Wen Ning, and being attentive to Wen Yuan... You might say call the soft, complicated stare Wei Wuxian holds you in as strange.

But something might have clicked in your mind about what that look could mean, when a lone Lan Zhan appears in the town and is (adorably) held down by Wen Yuan. Wei Wuxian seems to have found it humourous, and might have leveled a complicated expression during Lan Zhan's whole stay.

Oh...

Oh!

Author's Note(s): I did not expect it to get that dark, but then I remembered how MDZS is normally and... well! I also want to say I used colored text to signify where romance (with each other all taken into account) starts for that character... *wink wink* (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

[workingclasshistory]

On this day, 9 November 1918, in Berlin, the workers and soldiers of German’s capital delivered the death blow to the Kaiser regime. The previous night, members of an illegal group of revolutionary workers, the Revolutionary Stewards, had called for a general strike in the capital. At 8 AM thousands took to the streets, some carrying weapons, others signs declaring: Peace, Freedom, Bread, Socialism. The government ordered the military to stop the uprising, but by 10:15 am almost all regiments in the city took the side of the people. More and more people marched towards the government area. Soldiers threw their weapons into the Spree river. With no word from the Kaiser in Belgium, the Chancellor Max von Baden handed over his job to Friedrich Ebert, the head of the Social Democratic Party (SPD). Ebert’s first official act was signing a flyer in which he urged the “fellow citizens” to leave the streets and go home. Ignoring his message, thousands surrounded the police headquarters. When the anti-war activist Emil Eichhorn knocked at the door to ask the authorities to hand over the building, the police threw their pistols and sabres into the courtyard and left. The demonstrators then freed 650 political prisoners and raised a red flag from the roof. The SPD politician, Philipp Scheidemann, learned that Karl Liebknecht, the revolutionary, planned to declare a socialist republic. So at 2 pm, Scheidemann proclaimed at the Reichstag a “Social Republic.” At 4:30 pm, Liebknecht declared a “Free Socialist Republic.” A few hours later, he was invited to join the new government but he declined, instead demanding “All power to the Workers’ Councils.” While Ebert formed a government, the Revolutionary Stewards had other plans: to establish a republic of councils. In our online store we have a book with more info about the Revolution, and it's also celebrated by our T-Shirt of the Month, made by a workers coop: https://shop.workingclasshistory.com/collections/all/german-revolution https://www.facebook.com/workingclasshistory/photos/a.296224173896073/2130274113824394/?type=3

[amybizarre]

Introduction to the Dogfighters AU

Sooo, basically it’s dogfights, but with Steves. Y’know, these illegal fighting rings, run by gangs, used for illegal transactions and betting.

This AU is set in a modern setting with cities and modern day technology. The world is inhabited by both humans and Steves, together. The city is secretly run by criminal groups such as mobs or smaller gangs of burglars and dealers. There’s a huge underground located underneath the city, consisting of the sewers and maintenance tunnels and stuff like that. There’s also an abundance of abandoned buildings in and around the city.

So, if anyone got kidnapped or went missing, the chances to find that person are incredibly slim. On top of that, the mafia’s influence is so big, they are able to effortlessly stop any investigations into their direction.

There’s two rivaling mafia groups within the city. One run by Elemental Steve and one run by Sabre. They hate each other's guts and have gotten into plenty of fights in the past. Nowadays they mostly avoid each other and no longer mess around in the other’s territory. Each of them lead their own fighting ring though, which are like two rivaling businesses at this point. Both of them try their hardest to attract as many customers as possible, through crazy events or special opportunities, where you can challenge their ‘champions’ with your own fighters. The winner of such an occasion usually gains some hefty prize money from the loser.

Needless to say, much like with horse racing, the betting business around the fighting rings is also booming.

If you think that Sabre is a good guy in this, I have to disappoint you. He is very much a bad guy. As the leader of his own mob, he is very ruthless and cruel. The only things that really matter to him are cold hard numbers (preferably in the form of cash), his younger cousin Lucas and his champion fighter (only because it’s usually the fighter in his team, who earns him the most money).

Lucas fulfills multiple roles. Not only is he Sabre’s right hand man; he is also the one responsible for kidnapping new Steves to become the next fighters. Lucas will also be the one to train these Steves. He may be younger than Sabre and still has a lot to learn and a lot of experience to gather, but that doesn’t make him any less terrifying.

Where Sabre is known for his cold and calculating nature, Lucas earns his intimidation points with his ice cold stare and unpredictability.

Who is Sabre’s strongest fighter? His champion? Welp, it’s not Rainbow. (Not yet-) Rainbow is a young adult, who just dropped out of college. He was trying to study art, which he also kept a secret from his parents. They rathered him to study engineering or sth like that, so when they found out about the actual courses Rain was visiting they stopped their financial support for him, which subsequently forced him to drop out, because he could no longer afford it. Now he’s trying to pay his bills as a delivery boy and part time Uber driver. Until Lucas gets his hands on him…

After that it’s a fight for survival for poor Rainbow Bean. It’s do or die and he has to toughen up quickly if he doesn’t want to get killed in the ring. But that sort of development could be subject for a future story. >:3

Sabre’s current champion is Faceless Steve. With his copying abilities he is capable of mimicking his opponents’ strengths and weaknesses, effectively using them against them. What Sabre doesn’t know though, is that Faceless is secretly working together with Plague Steve. What exactly this collaboration entails, I will keep a secret for now however. I’ll tell you some info about Plague and then let you guess!

Plague Steve is a doctor/surgeon in this AU. He is a semi-neutral person, who doesn’t belong to any group. He sews back together any of Elemental’s and Sabre’s fighters, if they’re valuable enough for that. Sabre and Elemental have to pay a whole fortune though for Plague’s services, which they begrudgingly do, because they have no medical alternative. Plague definitely abuses this position of power, although he does favor Elemental sometimes.

I think this has become quite the infodump by now, lol. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed coming up with this stuff!

Oh! Before I forget: My friend @nuctoria helped me a lot with cool ideas and adding to the lore of this AU! Thanks bestie!

Now there might be a story for this AU coming in the future, but if you’re interested you can also go ahead and ask me about things you wanna know!Other than that, have a nice day/night! :3

[p5x-theories]

What We Know About Mont

(as of the second beta; last updated 8/27/23!)

This teammate, whose Japanese name has been translated as "Kotone Montagne" but not been officially confirmed, codename Mont, is a former figure skater. She joins the team as a "Phantom Idol", or cognitive teammate.

Her files are named with the codenames "Frost" or rarely "Snow" instead of her canon codename of Mont. The exact significance of this is unknown.

Her Japanese voice actress is Shino Shimoji.

As she is a Phantom Idol, she is likely to become a Confidant of Wonder's eventually.

Info on her in the real world has been translated as: "A French-Japanese woman who was once a world-class figure skater. Practicing figure skating since she was a child and being a perfectionist, she was devastated by an accident on the ice rink, and that trauma still aches in her heart."

Beyond this, her personality and situation are largely unknown, as she hasn't been present in either beta outside of being a Phantom Idol.

Her Persona is Terpsichore (based on the Greek muse of dance and chorus) and has Ice skills, resisting Ice while being weak to Fire.

In combat, her melee weapon is a sabre, while her ranged weapon is a bolt action rifle. Her highlight attack is shown from 1:23 - 1:39 in this video.

[nat-seal-well]

So I'm dying to ask nosy questions about Villain!Nat... Do you think she'd still be part of Unit Bravo and just biding her time til she can act out her plans? Or would she have been a rogue element the whole time? Would she and Ava have any kind of personal rivalry (sexy or otherwise) or just be obstacles in each other's paths? 👀

I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to this, haha, but I spent the entire last half of my shift thinking about it and realized it was gonna be too long just to write it all in a post, so I had to make a document and then copy/paste it over lol.

I don’t think she’d be part of UB (but can you imagine how much fun it would be if she was? Just waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and keeping up the façade…)

Villain!Nat would work better as more of a rogue, I think. I can see her being mostly on her own ever since her turning. Imagine: never being found by the Agency after the massacre on The Queen’s Sabre, never really being guided or taught by anyone other than the vampire who turned her, and then being set loose. 

It would all come down to that whole “nature vs. nurture” thing. A lot of who you are is shaped by the environment around you.

She’d never have had the support she received in the canon. There’d still be a lot of her personality that’s the same; she’d have a love for reading and collecting old books, she’d still be a little old-fashioned as time went on, etc. She’d just be more like the vampires in the traditional books, reclusive in some grand, old home out in the middle of nowhere. 

She’d also still be capable of love and affection and her usual overprotectiveness… she just wouldn’t be aware of it for a very, very long time. And in the moments where it’s staring her down, she’d hide it away and lock it up. 

Ava and Nat would have a rivalry (sexy, of course, because there isn’t much that’s hotter than the intimacy of being sworn enemies. The combat scenes would be gorgeous. Also, it would hurt to watch… which means it would be even more fun, haha :) )

Naturally, Ava would make it more difficult for Nat to ignore her emotions, lol. And she wouldn’t understand them a lot. She’d end up deciding that “hate” is the way she feels, because there isn’t any way it could be love. That’s impossible. Natalie Sewell doesn’t love people. Right? So loathing has to be what it is. 

I’m a sucker for anything poly so consider: throwing the Detective into the mix. It would be like a much, much darker take of the LT route, haha.

Maybe she hears some rumors about the vampire who’s going around killing humans who have a very special blood mutation, and she gets curious. She’s a collector, after all, and a human with blood like that would be priceless and a very good addition to her collection. We already know there’s someone leaking Agency info, so maybe she finds out that way? Probably not until after the events of book one.

So she follows after UB. Naturally, Ava has a suspicion they’re being watched, because she and Nat know each other better than they know themselves. Of course she catches on very, very quickly, but does her best to keep it under wraps. Easier to keep an eye on her that way. 

We also all know how good Nat is at lying and wearing masks. It’d be easy to convince the Detective she’s someone they can trust, especially after they've been thrown headfirst into the supernatural world without any real say in the matter. Nat would be drawing them in under the guise of stealing them away, only to discover–to her horror–that they intrigue her far more than they should. Only… this confuses her. Because the Detective makes her feel the same way Ava does, and there’s no way she can hate them. 

Que an emotional journey full of inner turmoil as Nat tries to come to terms with the fact that she’s capable of softer feelings, after all. And that she might not be so cold-hearted as she thinks. I imagine it would be very long and very painful, because she has three centuries of habits and beliefs (lies that someone hammered into her brain) to unlearn. She’d be fighting it every single step of the way, all while trying to keep it hidden. 

Villain!Nat would be more obsessive, just because I think it’d be a nice touch. Especially as she’s forced to face the truth: that she’s falling in love with her adversary of three hundred years, and a human, of all things. How terrifying. 

As much as I love angst and hurt, it would come to a happy ending. Eventually. Everyone loves a redemption arc, right? I don’t know how it would all come to a head. Maybe in the middle of a battle, maybe while facing down other rogues, and she realizes she might very well lose the two people who mean the most to her. 

Y’know how in ATLA, the gang kind of adopts Zuko? Imagine that, but with UB, haha.

Sorry, lol. This is probably way longer and way more detailed than you wanted, but I’m a sucker for any and all kinds of AUs and this was so much fun. Thank you, friend! You made the last four hours of my shift way more enjoyable, haha <3

[talisidekick]

I quite like swords, do you have any fun facts on them

(Axes are fine too)

Well, since I already did a whole post on Axes, which you can read here:

I might as well do my due diligence and info dump on my knowledge of swords so ... I should have expected this but here we go:

A Brief (lmao not at all) Overview of a Complicated Sword History

by an autistic trans girl demon

So before we get started, first we have to understand the categorization of swords. What we know as a "sword" is a general term from Old English deriving from the word "Sweord", meaning a "long bladed weapon with a handle and sometimes a hilt that is designed to stab, hew, cut, or slice; this means if it was clearly designed not to stab, hew, cut, or slice, and doesn't have an arbitrarily "long" blade, it's not a sword. Secondly, a lot of historical sources really only focus on swords as weapons, not tools, and thus we have an issue where tools that fall under the same description of swords won't typically be called swords but classified as "this other totally not a sword thing". Thirdly, swords were a slow development from daggers, which were classified loosely as double edged blades of a knifes size. If you're not following yet, this classification doesn't apply to all long-bladed creations and rarely do we get accounts of their use as tools because of this. That is, unless, you start looking at the few tools that became swords. And additionally, we have to remember that other cultures had definitions for tools, weapons, and items that crossed over or into what the English defined as a "sword" meaning that the "sword" category starts getting messy real quick. This simply isn't as clean as "wedge-on-a-stick" (axe) or "short sharp thing with handle" (knife). And rather than define what is a sword by it's common definition, it's actually better to look at what has become classified as a "sword" despite not quite meeting the definition initially defined as "a long double bladed weapon with a handle and sometimes a hilt" and those creations that should be classified as swords but aren't.

Which we begin the "sword-enough" category in China with the Dao. The above image is the Duan Dao. Dao are single edged long bladed weapons that showed up somewhere in 1600 to 1050 B.C. during the Shang Dynasty period but gained popularity as a cavalry sword much later. There are many types of Dao, each classified by their blade length, blade type, handle length, etc. and had strict requirements for construction. It was used like a sword, but only had one edge, so we called it a sword despite it's cousin the Dao phased out, the Jian, actually fitting the initial "sword" description perfectly.

A version of a Jian for reference.

But I can hear it coming: isn't a Dao just a Sabre? And sure, the image I showed LOOKS like a Sabre, but thats because of the Dao's complex history and how it evolved over time. It at one time looked like this:

Which is a Wodao, a variant if the Dao that looked and often had very close similarities to another "shouldn't be a sword but is" creation from a different country. That is, the one edged blade known as ...

The Katana. But oh wait, this is actually part of a series! See out of all the "swords that shouldn't be swords" from Japan, the Katana has a shorter cousin, the Wakizashi, which is slightly smaller in blade and hilt, and the Tanto which should be a knife, but somehow squeezed itself in. All of these weapons have specific requirements to their construction to be called what they are from blade and tang length, to steel folding requirements, etc. but all have one thing in common: they've only got one edge. And next up from another edge of the world is ...

The Scimitar. A bastardization of the Persian word Shamshir, which is an entire classification of swords with curved blades that some Sabres, Dao, and at one point Katana's were all classified as. This category of one bladed swords is massive and includes weapons from North Africa to the Middle East to some areas in Europe. And is this rants segway into the tools category, starting with dancing swords. Now bear with me because I don't have a photo for this one; just a rant. While sword dancing began as training exercises for many cultures, it became entertainment and from it birthed a subcategory of unbladed swords that were flimsier, more flexible, and less likely to cut you. Unlike dancing with axes where the most that was done at best was a blunting of the blade, dancing swords aren't able to be resharpened to be weapons but are rather "tools" of entertainment. Despite not being bladed at all, or intended to stab, cut, hew, or slice, they look like swords and thats enough to call them swords. But want to know who doesn't get this treatment?

The Machete. Tanto gets to squeeze in on sword, but this is just a "long bladed knife". It's history is supposedly grounded in South America as a bush clearing and harvesting tool. But it's a tool, not a weapon, and thus in it's own class. Another familiar face stuck in it's own class is ...

The Sickle. Now theres MANY types of sickles, many sizes, several could be "swords" by the way we include one-bladed creations. But alas, it's not a weapon, thus not a sword, unless it IS a weapon in which it IS a sword, a "sickle sword" or ...

A Khopesh. But oh crap, a sickle that is a sword? A tool used both for combat, harvest, and a trade tool? Thats only 1/3 sword! What can we do to preserve our obviously pristine and infalliable "sword" categorization? Answer: call it "Sickle Shaped".

Look, I don't know how to end this besides saying that I do genuinely love swords. They've been coming of age gifts, presents for achievements, badges of honour, and in many cultures, like my ancestors, a symbol of love and unity. The very act of driving a sword deep into a pole to see how far it would go in as a "sign" of how long a marriage could last was part of some germanic/viking culture. Swords are awesome. But the classification and what we do and don't consider a sword is arbitrary, hypocritical, and stupid.

Go buy a sword for a loved one. The classification apparently doesn't matter so just make sure it looks "sword enough" and no one can argue with you.