#sad! well theres other friends
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every so often i see a post on this website and im like man it is so fucking sad some of my friends arent on here because they would eat that shit up
#at the point of seriously considering a tag for posts that make me think of cotb despite him not at all being on this website#sad! well theres other friends#original post placeholder tag
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MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills
Part 1 - Part 3
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#disco elysium#MDZS disco elysium au#jiang cheng#jiang yanli#yu ziyuan#While it's more in vogue to draw a character's skill roster tailored to them -#One of the more subtle details I love in DE is how some of the skill portraits parallel character portraits of people hbd associates with.#Theres somethine rather poetic to be said about how other people shape out thoughts and sometimes act as a 'voice' in our head.#How we are in part a collection of impressions other people left behind on us.#I am a huge Skillhead (Those are my friends! My party members! They love me! They have their own agendas and alliances!)#so of course a healthy portion of this AU is dedicated to them <3#the Int skills go basically unchanged from DE. Psy as well (with changes to a few quirks in voice).#Fys skills though...well...wwx is in a different body! Those voices belong to Someone Else.#Esp electrochem (MXY in this AU also partied to near death. WWX is withdrawing and craving substances he's never even heard of before)#While I personally don't fully subscribe to Volition Jean I *do* see Volition Jiang Cheng. The voice of your Not Brother keeping you afloat#All three of these parallels make me unbelievably sad. They are also both purple. Art is like that sometimes.#Empathy Jiang Yanli...oh man do I have a lot of thoughts about her. Disco fans Who Know....you can probably see what I'm cooking.#Authority is a really interesting skill in DE because *yes* its about power and intimidation - but it's also about finesse and respect#Titus Hardie and YZY both abuse *and* finesse how they establish their authority - in a way that leaves quite an impression.#2 more mdzs disco posts that I *need* to create and then I'm off to working on raffles <3
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Fighting DEMONS rn trying not to get invested in one piece to figure out wtf you're posting about!!!!
come here cyber.... we have this thang
#mp answers#i've been trying so hard not to be annoying to my bnha friends but if you will allow me to push this for this ask let me say 🙏#if you're afraid of the episode count for one piece the manga is a lot quicker read while being just as enjoyable because the art style is#an actual delight. its great its fantastic im absolutely in love with it#the series is soooo good and i know luffy can seem unappealing to people before they start but he's just SUCH a great character & continues#to be even now. the story is SO GOOD the characters are SO GOOD... theres so much lore and world building that its insane#if you read the manga we get 'cover stories' on what's going on with previous characters to see what theyre up to even though we moved on#from where we left them. a lot of these cover stories blend into the main story so well its just seamless#there's one where we get introduced to a character we dont see hundreds of episodes into the anime and they show up like; during the second#saga. the series is about traveling to other islands and every single arc has been tied to another in some way or form that shows up later#even if its sagas and sagas later- it still becomes relevant again!! it's a huge ongoing story and there isnt a single arc that feels like#it has no purpose (sans filler in the anime-but even then!! some filler arcs are really entertaining!)#it's emotional! its sad! its downright stupid and silly but GOD... you can feel the love that oda put into this series and his characters#and the emotions in the expressions and the messages the story gives off it just makes me UEUHGHHAHGHH!!!#it's all about the adventure and the romance of it all! its about the freedom it brings and bringing freedom to others!#its a series where treasure should be a focus given its pirates and the its a giant treasure hunt for the one piece and yet! and yet so man#of the characters treasures are things that are not coins and gems but people and promises and family and and#im going to EXPLODE i love one piece
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The difference between the tragedy of Edwin's and Charles' lives and deaths and what makes Charles' much more compelling to me is that Edwin never had anyone he could trust: he grew up with distant parents who i imagine he saw rarely and could not confide in, then he went to school and was immediately recognized as other in a way he had not fully realized of himself yet and was killed for it, and then comes hell and well who can u trust in hell? Certainly not the things that chase you until your legs ache, and even if your compatriots in the whole ordeal are as innocent as you, trapped in the same technicality, what is the good of trusting them, when they are just as helpless as you?
But Charles? Everyone Charles was supposed to trust betrayed him. His parents were close to him, atleast somewhat, atleast his father was around enough to get sick of hearing owner of a lonely heart, and his mother was around enough to watch his father beat him and be silently horrified and ultimately not do anything about it, maybe she stepped in once and we just never saw it, but I wouldn't bet on it, Charles' mom is 'quiet' that's her defining feature to Charles not protective or gentle just 'quiet', then Charles gets to school and he is popular he has friends! He has people who care for him (or should maybe, as long as he's good at sports like he's needed to be) and then he stands up for one person, because he has always wanted to be good and maybe he trusts himself to do it just this once and his friends kill him and his own actions signed the death warrant and he cannot even trust himself to do the right thing properly (it never got better and then you died)
And maybe, maybe Edwin does it too, with less intention to hurt, and with less knowledge but Charles and Edwin trust eachother maybe more than anything (maybe Charles would sooner slip away from earth's gravity than stop putting his trust in Edwin who he thinks is good and smart and brills and aces) and maybe Edwin still looks at Charles trying to protect him after Charles has had maybe the worst week of his existence and says "that was a bit...... extreme" and Edwin still promises Charles can tell him anything while hiding himself in a way that makes Charles feel untrustworthy
So yeah I'll never stop thinking about the tragedy of Charles Rowland actually 👍 think about him with me
#Charles Rowland#Edwin payne#dead boy detectives#Wrotong this down made me want to delve even further into characters and their relationships w/ trust btw#Crystals is also really interesting to me because she is looking for people she trusts and she keeps coming up empty slowly coming to the#relaization that she cant even trust herself and she'll never b the same girl but theres old roads that need to be repaved#or atleast properly gated off and she nearly loses the trust she has built up over the course of the show because it is not enough to trust#them with her and she cant trust herself with them because she has finally friends she doesnt want to hurt for amusement and she is sick w/#the idea it wont last#Niko lost two of the biggest ppl she could trust in one fell sweep as one died and the other just wanted her to not be sad anymore and it#broke her in a way and shes having to build new bridges to find herself again#The Cat King trusts people enough to let them in his bed and to charm them but not enough for them to see anything deeper to see who he#really is because he is A Cat King (TM ;) ) and he should be Better than That and hes just as petty and mortal as anyone else#Monty well maybe this is a hot take but monty trusts himself and not much else he is a charmer and confident in his feelings for Edwin he i#sure of his ability to deceive and Charm the ghost boys and i think he is sure when he brings Charles his bag#Maybe u could say Monty trusts Esther but i dont thinks thats true when he realizes the effects Esthers revenge will have he tries 2 get th#ghost buys tf outand even earlier he crows when Esther is trying to “threaten some kids#monty“ and then obvi already mentioned getting charles his bag he doesnt so much trust esther as he is chained to her which kinda makes me#wonder how old is monty? Like when made into a human he is made vaguely teenager aged but like he is the familiar of a very old witch is he#the last in a long series of familiars or is he near as old as Esther herself maybe he was picked up some years ago but long after Esther#was already a well established witch he could literally be any age wtf
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fell into the glue trap
#my art#also clarification: my friends came up with the caption. i know its the family guy death pose#scooby doo#sad! oh well. theres other freds (joke)#if u saw this on twitter already hi again#i have comics to post as well but they need slight joke adjustments and i have been crazy busy#so maybe you will get them tomotrow. or later tonight? not even i know....
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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begging on my hands and knees please pb stop killing your own game its getting quiet in hereeee
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#its like#yeah once again i get its a small company#but the way players keep dropping bc of how hostile/predatory its already gotten with paid content#im not going anywhere any time soon but man#ITS AGGRAVATING TO SEE IM SAD ABT IT#like i said when this started in like december its just#it feels like they jumped the gun way too early#no gacha is ever gonna be player friendly i get that too but like#usually they stwrt easing up on f2p content into more paid stuff later#game launched in what october? its april#only half a year and the way i keep seeing less and less is fr sad#and like ik im just a player i dont have the answer but like#if the focus switched from pay for characters to some of the other stuff that was supposed to be implemented by now#text chats/ the seraphim dungeons/ hell even the friends feature#like theres been no word on any of that and im just pulling from the promises announcement made in january#pools already feeling oversaturated for l cards#and its just. it gets real empty feeling real fast now it feels like nothing was rly. planned well if you get me#but idk#its just upsetting to see smthn dying this fast#i wanna have hope but ehhhh...#i rly do wanna wait it out bc im not like a super devoted pb fan#but i found love unholyc when the pandemic first was kicking my ass bc going from being on campus and-#being out all day with friends to being stuck at home was...tough#and the games janky but i liked the chars#same with whb#so like. augh
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anyway my favourite thing about dead men fanfiction is the wildly different characters we all write. like. not even the ones who have been dead for years and have so little actual characterisation but even the ones who were alive in canon were probably very different one hundred, two hundred, three hundred years ago. also theyre under characterised in fiction. also we are all just having fun
#guy who barely posts about skulduggery pleasant: so ive be rereading some of my old favourite dead men fanfiction#as well as my own dead men fanfiction#and damn if we arent all writing a bunch of different fucking guys. to be fair i have gone rogue bcos like. cant be fucked w canon#dont wanna write about war#heyo what if it was pre war and everyone was still. convinced their wouldnt be one#also i love the idea of skulduggery being. just super fucking irresponsible devil may care live laugh love sorta guy pre-war#spoilt. rich parents who dont care much about him. loads of magic tutors.#i mean think about the class implications of the dead men#skulduggery. an elemental. a difficult discipline that clearly requires a level of training and scholarli-ness#his NAME is skulduggery#you come across that name if your educated. if you read a lot#this is a man who has been afforded every privilege#and like. i think a lot of sorcerers are implied to be very upper class#or like. kinda rich and fancy about it#but obviously that wouldnt be the case for everyone bcos magic isnt just genetic right like some ppl just show up with it#and like even then#dexter vex#anton shudder#like as far as im aware these are just names ppl have#and slightly uncommonly used words#disciplines which are more emotional/physical#as opposed to 'learned'#i just think its interesting#i was gonna have my dead men all meet n be friends pre war#but tbh i think them meeting and not being friends is better#i think theres a sort of tragedy in them being as close as they were because of the war#and not having that post war or pre war#its actually really fucking sad but like. evidently they didnt hang out in the interim when most of em were still alive#or at least that much#im wondering if like. they needed a couple hundred years of like. detox bcos seeing each other just pulled them back into that mindset
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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trying to remind myself that this exhaustion and fatigue is a heavy layer of Bad over everything and skewing my perspective but dear fucking god i really feel like there is Nothing for me and everything is so scary and overwhelming. trying to just grit my teeth and tell myself once i rest and recover from the roadtrip then life will feel manageable again but i am not anywhere near convinced this is true fhfkdl
#the last threeish days have just been a constant chanting of ''i am going to have to kill myself soon'' and trying to just ignore that#i am glad that i am home now but theres also just like. a grief that comes with it?#because i am back in this house. trapped again. at least i have the community MH centre during weekdays that i can go to now#but i want like... safety tbqh fjfkl thats what it all boils down to i guess#sad! oh well theres other.... well no theres no other anything DBDJDKL#theres distractions at least!#i just feel so useless and like i do not matter fhdksl like ... this family would function fine without me#there wouldnt rly be any difference for them except ofc they'd be sad probably idk LMAO#and then i have no friends in town... no employment opportunities... disabled and a disappointment to my parents lmao#my art isnt even going anywhere i feel like fjdkdl like... i bring Nothing to anything ???#i am bad at keeping up social connections so thats not even rly anything im bringing to the table fjfkdl#idk! i just feel very detached from the overall workings of things and i think it would not be much of an issue if i disappeared#and that kind of sucks to think about fjfkdl bad realization to come to#it is always so hard to tell if im thinking clearly or if this is hunger/exhaustion/etc talking#bwaughh i want to lie down in a tomb for five hundred years and then emerge when i feel normal fjfksl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide tw
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I've been in the fucking trenches all week running on abysmally small amounts of sleep on account of several 9 am classes back to back, HOWEVER, I also got mods working on my Terra alt and it's had a catastrophic effect on my brainspace as of late. Giggling and spinning the camera around him for several hours while my partner's screaming and crying and wailing at me in vc to PLEASE just unlock dungeons and continue the main story
#saltfish games#ffxiv#kh#kh terra#yes im still gonna continue tweaking him later bc theres some mods i want on him that also break Other mods i have enabled for him#and its a whole mess of a jigsaw circus that i am not looking forward to wrangling but. i will. for Him#'salty arent there actual terra hair mods' yes. exactly one ripped directly from kh3. unfortunately its fitted horribly onto ffxiv models#so ill just deal and maybe bug a friend into helping with making a vanilla hair mashup to just cobble together something#that resembles the way i draw his hair myself FGSJDNSNDNSH#in case this takes off and people start wondering why the hell he has sideburns: thats just how i like to draw him dw abt it. hes Scruffy#and technically i do also have a mod for his canon outfit but it breaks the body replacement mod im using for him as a base 😔 sad. oh well#anyway. something so moe abt middie huyrs. its enchanted me
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#im sorry but if he really was waiting for me yesterday im gonna have a whole meltdown like oh my GOD??????#like THATS???????????????#n like... ugh that fuckin asshole that said something to him OHHHHHHH !!!!! UGH.#like....... god. ...... .. theres no other explanation. like usually he leaves right away ok. well until he started waiting for me NDNNDMDM#but to do that after an exam... when he like.... just wants to get out of there n study for the next one....#o bro i cant handle this. thats so sweet wtf..... like....... HHHHHHHHHHH GOD.#this Has to be going somewhere like i cant be imagining this. i cant be#n not only would he have wanted to get outta there bc of having to study.... he also literally doesnt like talking to anyone except me n#one of my other friends JDNDMDMDMMDMDMSM#and like he would have been waiting awhile bc like over 20 mins went by between him leaving n my other friend leaving... and then after tha#god im so sad...... i wish that JERK hadnt said anything to him. i bet he would have stayed 😭😭😭😭😭#hhhhhhhhhhh........#n e way NDNNDNDNDMDMMD. im gonna see this until the end.... like lmao theres Something here i can tell......#and like okay even if we just end up friends... like ok maybe i'll be crushed but JDJJDJDJDJDJFJ hes so cute. i wanna keep him forever.....#n like god. hes even cute in a grumpy way which... god thats my weakness forever im just 🥺🥺🥺#its just !!!! hes so honest !!! like always says what hes feeling n then once he says it hes over it. like idk hes perfect to me JZJJZJZJZJ#GOD. im so obsessed. help#and like GOD. i really keep coming back to this post and adding more im JUST.....#his eyes are so kind. like i cant even explain this. i just ... god hes so cute.....#personal
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How do people make friends howwww for the love of god
#been going to the cinema a lot lately and everyone always comes in pair or groups im always alone!!!#why isnt anyone else i know into movies#or literally anything else i like#thinking about these two times my music teacher asked the whole class what kind of music they listen to#two separate class more than 20 people each. in both I was the only one who said rock music. the only one.#rock is not some fucking underground unpopular genre how was i the only one#these arent some nieche interests so how come i never come across these people in a situation where i could befriend them#im so fucking sad i genuinely feel like crying#i talk to my classmates and we get along well and i enjoy their company but theres no one i could become actual friends with#I feel like I've done better this last month i talk to people more im less anxious i even make people laugh but still#am i so unloveable or so picky with others that i can never make a true friend?#this is big cringe sorry for sharing 👍
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leaving town so far is an insane experience for my ego because all the things i hear from my friends and family at home makes it sound like they’ve let all rules of society crumble without me
#my family aside apparently my FRIENDS arent seeing each other much + arent coordinating their plans at all for holidays and such#+ need to get another dyke friend to give them the stink eye when they're not making an effort to uphold things that matter#wow. after all i was their communist barbra streisand. sad. well theres other dykes#personal
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It's been 7 hours and 15 days
#YES this is psychopath's song ACtually#it's been 3 weeks#actually.#im still so sad hahaha wtf i never expected to feel like this#he was my 1st friend in this new place and thats why it was special#but it's also like a lost friendship? bc i dont even know if we will continue talking or what#and it was a damn surprise that mf told me he was leaving 3 days before so. sigh. i dont even know#just that i lose#i actually discover3d this song when sinead died.. i think it was the same damn day#now whenever other people mention him i feel so damn bad. and ridiculous. why am i so sad#anyway luckily no one i know will ever find this#i had to vent#no one is letting me talk about it. not my parents. not my friends#well. if i told my 1st estp friend maybe he can listen tonme yknow#having strong coffee was a bad idea i feel a lump in my throat#wth happened its just. that i feel like he died#and i SUCKS SO MUCH just to think that he didnt care as much about me#why. in so many relationships theres always one person that cares more than the other#my post#I am so sad this song is exactly what i feel#we talked about so many things goddammit. i told him i was depressed#he told me he used to feel bad before but now had changed. i mean and he was usually talking a lot about himself but i guess half of it was#true or heartfelt#he had such a funny laughter. the sick thing is that. i wanted to know him better and experience new things togethwr and now#it will never happen#imagine that
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I won't cheer for Serbia this time for personal reasons, but I WILL make fun of Brasil if they lose or tie
also I hope Neymar explodes
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