#like theres been no word on any of that and im just pulling from the promises announcement made in january

[rafecameronssl4t]

Business Talk || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: You listening to Rafe and Barry talk business on his yacht. (s3 ep6 inspired)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, idk if theres anything else lmk

Word count: 1,323

A/n: another canon fic because im obsessed with writing these 😖 pls send me canon fic requests 🙏🙏

MASTERLIST

Divider by @yoonitos

"Oh my God!" Barry yells out as you hastily pull away from Rafe, who groans in frustration, "Fuck, I thought we had more time." His head drops, leaning on your bare stomach, and you can't help but giggle as you reach over for your cover-up. Rafe sighs heavily, adjusting his pants with an annoyed expression.

"Damn, Rafe. Come on, Country Club," Barry calls out, his voice echoing through the boat as he makes his way upstairs to the top deck. "Bro, how are you gonna have this and not even tell me!" When he reaches the final step, he notices you lounging on one of the sofas, looking perfectly composed. You give him a warm smile. "Hey, Barry," you greet him politely.

"Princess," he says with a playful bow, making you giggle at his exaggerated behavior. He then turns back to Rafe, who is still frowning. "You got a whole damn YMCA up on this bitch, dude," Barry exclaims, his eyes darting around the luxurious boat. You sip your drink, watching Barry's antics with amusement.

"Barry, shut up, yeah?" Rafe shouts at him, clearly fed up with Barry's incessant chatter about the boat. Barry throws up his hands in mock surrender. "All right, we need to make a move," Rafe walks over to his shirt and puts it on. "That's all we do, bro. We been making moves. Haven't we, y/n?" Barry glances at you as you watch the two talk business.

"Yeah, well, we don't have much time," Rafe says, his tone serious as he walks over to you and holds out his hand. You look at his hand for a moment before meeting his intense gaze. "Yo, come down here," Rafe says to Barry, jerking his head toward the stairs.

You take Rafe's hand as he leads you toward the stairs, your fingers still interlocked. Barry follows behind, curiosity piqued. "You're not gonna believe this shit," Rafe mutters, his voice low and intense.

As you descend to the bottom deck, Rafe's focus remains unshaken. "You seen any buyers?" he calls out, his mind clearly on the gold. Barry, now settling down on the couch beside you, responds with a chuckle, "It's always business with you, bro. I mean, I don't always live like this." You kick your feet up on the table, relaxing as Rafe heads to the fridge. He rummages through its contents, finally emerging with a few beers and your favorite drink.

"I'm just saying we need to take this shit seriously," Rafe insists, his tone carrying a sense of urgency. He opens your drink with a swift motion and hands it to you, his eyes meeting yours briefly. "Thanks," you reply softly, appreciating the small gesture. Barry observes the interaction with a raised eyebrow, then looks between you and Rafe with a smirk. "What? No princess treatment for me either?" he teases, pouting playfully at Rafe who rolls his eyes, “Get fucked.”

Barry clinks bottles with you after opening his beer, taking a swig and letting out a satisfied sigh. Moments later, Rafe returns, carrying a sleek black briefcase which he places on the table in front of Barry. You quickly adjust your feet as Barry's eyes widen in awe at the contents revealed inside. Your gaze meets Rafe's briefly before you lean forward, curiosity piqued.

"I should get a tooth made out of this, huh?" Barry quips, holding up a gleaming gold bar, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. You struggle to suppress a smile. "Look, don't be touching the shit. Just put it back," Rafe commands sternly, shooting Barry a look of irritation.

"Man, you're so paranoid. How do you put up with this shit, y/n?" Barry says, turning to you as he carefully replaces the gold bar. Rafe, exuding impatience, retorts, "I don't care about the cross. I'm trying to make money." He sits beside you, gently shifting your legs so they rest comfortably on his lap.

"I told you, my aunt, she got some contacts. She gonna help us move these little bitches," Barry reassures Rafe. Distracted by a sudden splash from the water nearby, you turn your head instinctively. Rafe notices your reaction immediately. "What is it?" he asks, concern threading through his voice. You rise from the couch, taking your sunglasses off as you move towards the edge to peer down at the water.

"Nothin'. Thought I heard something," you shrug, slipping on your sunglasses before returning to the sofa. "The gems, the nuggets, the whole damn melted enchilada!" Barry rambles on, his enthusiasm undeterred. "These gems are mint, man. The gold's bullion. We're selling it in bars, right? I'm not dealing with some half-assed pogue shit with some reject from Zales, bro."

Rafe's voice cuts through Barry's excitement, firm and cold. "Hey, watch how you're speaking about my aunt, dog," Barry retorts, scoffing. Rafe's hands, tense with stress, had already begun their way down your thighs, gripping them unconsciously. It was a telltale sign of his annoyance.

"I'm not talking about your aunt. I'm just saying, I don't fucking trust my shit with pogues," Rafe shrugs dismissively as you absentmindedly play with his rings.

Suddenly, your phone dings with a text message. Rafe leans over, grabbing your phone to hand it to you. Their chatter fades into the background as you focus on the message from your friend.

"Who is it, baby?" Rafe asks, removing his sunglasses as you show him your phone, reading the etext. "Barry, you gotta go, man," he says, watching you rise from the couch and slip off your cover-up.

"What? Why?" Barry protests, glancing between you and Rafe with confusion. Rafe sighs, his patience thinning. "Y/N's having her friends over for a girl’s day on the boat." Barry's eyes dart to you as you smile and nod. "That right? And I wasn't invited?" he says with mock offense, making you laugh.

"Next time, for sure," you assure him, still chuckling. Rafe, eager to get Barry off the boat, pats him on the back. "All right, time for you to go, bro. Good to see ya." "All right, all right, I'm going!" Barry concedes, standing up and making his way to the edge of the boat. "You have fun, Y/N!" he calls out, waving. "Bye, Barry!" you wave back with a smile.

As Barry leaves, Rafe's hands find your hips, fingers playfully tugging at the strings of your bikini bottoms. "Rafe!" you exclaim, swatting his hands away and retying the strings. "They'll be here soon." Rafe groans, "Why am I being cockblocked all day today." You smirk up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him in, "Later, I promise."

[odysseys-blood]

begging on my hands and knees please pb stop killing your own game its getting quiet in hereeee

[arolesbianism]

Why must I only be capable of coming up with cool art ideas long past midnight

[rafeandonlyrafe]

unexpected consequences

words: 700

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, p in v sex, condoms breaking, pregnancy/breeding talk, unprotected p in v sex, established relationship, mention of marriage

“oh fuck, yeah.” you moan out, fingers gripping rafes shoulders. “right-right there.”

your moans are extra loud today, having been apart from rafe for nearly a week after he had business out of the country. rafe is just as pent up as you, thrusting harshly into your cunt to the chorus of his grunts.

“close.” rafe warns, but you could tell anyways by the swelling of his cock that he wouldn’t last long.

“oh my god, yes.” you moan out, back arching off the bed as your release pushes through your body, cumming with a final shout of your boyfriends name.

rafe drops his head into your neck as he cums inside of you, pushing as deeply as he can as your cunt pulses around him. you wrap your arms around his shoulders and press soft kisses to his head while rafe pants through his orgasm, until you shift slightly and feel it inside of you.

“rafe, pull out.” you shove at his shoulder, causing him to look up in concern, but he slips his softening cock out.

“what is it baby?” rafe asks. you look down at the condom he always wears, where theres always a bit of white cum gathered at the tip, but this time it looks practically empty, like he just rolled it on.

“rafe.” you hit his shoulder, causing him to flinch and look down.

“wha-” rafe suddenly realizes the issue, rolling himself off the bed as he walks into the bathroom, no doubt to inspect the condom and tell you what you already know is true.

“it broke.” rafe says when he comes out a moment later.

“i know.” you admit, shifting your hips from side to side again. “i can tell.”

“im so sorry baby.” rafe says with a sigh, laying on the bed next to you but not pulling you into his arms, not sure if you want to be touched.

“its okay.” you hum softly, mind still reeling. “you didn’t know.”

“what are we gonna do?” rafe asks, knowing you’re not on birth control due to affecting other medication you’re on.

“well, i can take a plan b in the morning…” you say quietly. 

“or.” rafe encourages you to continue, able to tell that you aren’t finished.

“or we could wait and see. i mean i probably won’t get pregnant just from one time, right?” you shrug.

“what about if it does take? and you’re pregnant?” rafe asks, looking at your tummy.

as if you’re thinking the same thing, you lay your hand over your stomach, knowing that even if you are pregnant there is nothing in there yet, but the thought alone has you rubbing gently over your skin. “i don’t know.” you admit.

“i want to keep it.” rafe blurts out. “if-if you are pregnant.” rafe can’t take not touching you any longer, pulling you close to him and tangling your limbs together.

“are you sure?” you raise your eyebrows. you think rafe would be an amazing father, knowing how protective he is of you, and how he strives every day to take even better care of you. “we are so young.”

“i love you. i want to be with you, i want a family with you. why not start now?” rafe questions. he won’t admit it to you yet, but he’s been thinking about taking the next step, having even gone ring shopping to see his options. “besides-” rafe smiles, “why are you trying to talk me out of it? you’ve always wanted kids.”

you grin back at him. “i know.” you let a giggle free, feeling giddy about the possibility. you’ve always wanted to become a mom, especially because you have so many younger siblings. “so, are we doing this?”

“yes.” rafe says definitively, pulling you in for a kiss, a comforting one that you truly need.

“oh my god, im so excited.” you break the kiss to mumble against his lips.

rafe nods in agreement, lowering a hand between your bodies to touch your stomach. “probably too early to start talking to your tummy, huh?” 

“definitely. i mean, we don’t even know if i’m pregnant, it may take a couple tries…” you trail off, hoping rafe gets your intention.

“well, i will just have to keep cumming inside you.” rafe shrugs. “in fact, we shouldn’t take any chances and i should fill you up again right now.”

rafes hand lowers from your stomach to your thigh as he grabs your flesh and pulls your leg over his hip, spreading your thighs for him as your cunt rubs up against his quickly hardening cock.

“rafe!” you shout with a laugh, but don’t stop him as he begins to grind his cock into your core.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x Reader

[ Chapter 10 ] || [ Chapter 12 ]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i'm in love with gaz

Chapter 11: Excuse me?

A DM suddenly shoots up to the top of the pile in Kyle’s Tinder DM list and his eyebrows raise when he sees your name.

It’s been a month and a half, maybe longer, since you two last matched and after the brief rejection and you having gotten with Price, his life moved on and he kind of forgot you existed.

But your sudden message whose preview starts with “hey sorry to be botheri-” intrigues him so he presses it.

you: hey sorry to be bothering u but i figured it was safe to dm u about this because between u and johnny u seemed to be the most mature one! is simon okay? he stopped replying to me like a week ago and im concerned

Kyle’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead upon reading the question.

Kyle: he’s been texting u? 🤨 you: HI! yeah he has Kyle: excuse me? 🤨🤨 Kyle: like texting texting u.  Kyle: as in you text him and he answers and u 2 chat? 😐 you: yes? 🙃 Kyle: tf kind of witchcraft did u pull on him? 🤨 Kyle: he doesnt text.  Kyle: not one of us can get more than a thumbs up reaction to our texts in the groupchat. 😑 you: he texts me! Kyle: 😫?? Kyle: jesus christ.  you: you didnt answer is he okay?? 😭😭

Kyle thought back on a reason why Ghost would suddenly, well, ghost you. But he can’t think of any… Ghost is a notoriously bad texter, it doesn’t surprise him that he went MIA…

And then it hits him.

It’s 8 A.M. in the rec room of their floor and Ghost was making tea just as Johnny was taking a seat in the couch.

Kyle oofed as Johnny hit him, throwing his legs over Kyle’s lap. “Watch it mate, fuck you’re bloody heavy!” He complained.

“AH, FUCKIN’ HELL!” Ghost cursed as he threw his hands up in the air the sound of water dripping on the floor catching his attention.

Kyle looked over to see Ghost had spilled his boiling hot water everywhere on the counter.

“You alright L.T.?” Soap asked a she lifted his head over the back of the couch to peer at Simon just like Gaz was.

“Great.” Ghost grunted as he picked up his phone from the counter, which was also dripping in water, while his other hand threw a rag onto the mess of water dripping down from the counter.

“Oh fuck… ‘s your phone dead?” Soap asked and Ghost grumbled under his breath, not quite answering the question, as he busied himself soaking up the spilled water.

Just then, Price showed up at the rec room door. “Simon, gear up. Got a briefing for a solo mission in 10.”

“Fuckin’ hell, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Ghost grunted as he cleaned the mess and then rushed out the door, leaving his mug of tea in the counter and clutching his now broken phone in his hands.

Kyle: hes fine. Kyle: he spilled water on his phone and killed it I think.  Kyle: and he got sent out before he could get it fixed. 🙃 you: oh okay good! you: thanks! you: sorry to have bothered you! 🙏 Kyle: now wait just a minute. 😤 Kyle: u need to explain how in the hell u and ghost talk.👀 you: ghost? Kyle: that’s his work name. 🤷‍♂️ you: fitting seeing as i thought he ghosted me Kyle: THAT’S THE JOKE I MADE JUST NOW TO MYSELF! 😭 you: were in sync it seems 😭 Kyle: answer the question tho. you: idk what u want me to answer with Kyle: wdym u dont know??? explain yourself. Kyle: how do you get ghost to text u???? you: idk? im funny ig Kyle: 😑 you: im sorry if thats not what u want to hear Kyle: wait Kyle: a couple weeks ago he was out all night Kyle: during morning training soap was talking about how he had a date Kyle: was he with u? 👀👀 you: soap? Kyle: johnny. Kyle: keep up cmon now. you: jeez don’t patronize me you: yes simon was with me Kyle: 👀👀👀 Kyle: i see. Kyle: tell me more. you: theres nothing to tell Kyle: thats a lie and u know it.  you: its not!!! Kyle: cmon. Kyle: u cant just meet with a bloke with a skull mask on and then say u dont have anything to tell. 😑😑 you: a skull mask?? Kyle: did he not wear a mask when he was with u? 🤨🤨 you: yes? you: a black one Kyle: with a skull print on it yeah? you: no??? 🙃 you: just black! Kyle: jesus christ. Kyle: and what? what happened? you: nothing?! Kyle: walk me thru it. you: we went out for a drink then came back to mine and watched a movie! Kyle: 🤨🤨 Kyle: and had a shag? you: NO???? Kyle: wdym no? thats what would normally happen with a bloke. you: and???? you: this is simon were talking about kyle you: nothing about him screams normal exactly 🙃 you: hes joked about being able to kill me with his bar ehands you: bare hands* Kyle: fair. Kyle: this raises more questions for me. you: what Kyle: like u would meet with a masked bloke that can kill u with his bare hands alone without protection? 🤨 you: i had protection Kyle: not a condom. you: oh 😅 you: well we met at a pub soooo  Kyle: what did u 2 do then Kyle: other than watch a ‘movie’ 🙄 you: played mario kart you: slept Kyle: as in Kyle: you SLEPT? like honk shoo honk mimimimi? you: yes🙄🙄 Kyle: im confused. you: ur confused? im fucking confused bro Kyle: wdym u SLEPT TOGETHER? 🙃 Kyle: WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?  Kyle: wtf have u done to him Kyle: like ghost doesnt text, he sure as shit doesnt visit people, and he doesnt go on dates, he doesnt sleep next to people, im almost sure the man doesnt have feelings or emotions and only speaks in sarcasm  Kyle: how can u get that out of him?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: no one else can! you: well with that mentality you cant you: idk what to tell u you: we hit it off 🙄 Kyle: explain yourself. you: ive been explaining it!!!!! Kyle: no explain it better. Kyle: I think Im having a stroke.  you: idk how to make it clearer??? Kyle: thats it. Kyle: are you free rn?? Kyle: I need u to explain urself. 😑 you: Im at work? Kyle: whens ur lunch break? 👀 you: in 35 minutes. Kyle: do u like ramen? you: yes? Kyle: whats the closest japanese to ur job? you: Akira Kyle: meet me at Akira for lunch. Kyle: I’m buying. you: who said i want to meet up with u?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: man just get down there. Kyle: im offering to pay. you: fineeeee 🙄

Kyle quickly hopped up from his seat at his desk with a start and rushed back to his room to change out of his fatigues.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!): @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur

@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

[zaynesaurora]

ʟ&ᴅꜱ ! reaction to dry humping — (MDNI)

a/n: yowhza this made me have to get up and walk a lap, i struggled with caleb so hes demoted to bonus boy again srwy bout that :(theres a new bonus boy though,, i may have been swayed by recent events.

zayne ! sets a lazy pace, almost lack luster as he perches you on top of him in the confindes of his office during a particularly quiet dinner break- big hands tucked under the hem of your shirt so he can tickle at your skin until it begins to burn from the delicate friction, a skilled tongue dipping into your mouth in the same less than hurried attitude his hands are showing.

he would stop your hands as they journey towards the zip hiding his hardening self from you, cool fingers engulfing your own as he forces you to hold on to his belt buckle for the remainder of your ride.

"too risky my dear, im on the clock"

he cant silence the squeaks of his desk chair as he meets his end. leather groaning in effort when his hips chase you into the air above, eyes rolling to the base of his skull in the most beautiful display of bliss. he buttons his lab coat up before leaving his office. stains of your love hidden behind the stark white.

xavier ! always wears light coloured briefs incase his moment arises, loving the way the material becomes sheer as he leaks with excitement- load after load decorating the cotton in puddles as he ruts into you.

"hmph- so messy" he's babbling in your ear between heavy puffs of air from his nostrils.

xavier likes it when you play hard to get in this particular scenario. when your belly down on the bed, scrolling your phone and barely taking any notice of his manhood smoothing over the hills of your backside. he gets lost in his own fantasy- perverted nature making itself known in the way he wraps his body around you, hands tucking below your chest and thighs squeezing your own into a tight line. he keeps going, going until he can barely hold himself up and his weight becomes invasive when he's lay on your back in exhaustion.

when he eventually pulls away, a stringy mess connects the pair of you, another outfit christened by a make out session gone too far.

rafayel ! thinks he has control of every sexual situation ever. outright laughs in your face as he mocks your whimpers- deliberately pulling his hand away from the delicate lace covering you just as the warmth in your belly makes itself known. his teeth are bumping yours with every taunt, chests squishing with every snicker. until you grab him through his boxers, deciding to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"hmm scandalous, naugh-" words caught in his throat when you tug him harder than before.

its no secret rafayel is competative , and usually sulky when you try to overpower him but he can't help but give in when you everwhelm his senses in so many ways- need for release growing with every passing moment. he's certainly well behaved when you form an o-shape with your fist, instructing him to use your hand like a toy through his pants. pretty noises being rewarded with a quick tightening.

— bonus —

caleb ! does that thing boyfriends do when they pretend to be hitting it from behind when you bend over for any reason, except this time his make believe thrusts get a little too close and before you know it he has his palm flat to your back , pushing you into the countertop so he can keep you in place and indulge in the feeling of his loose sweats rubbing on his bare junk- lucky for him he's known for being commando in the comfort of his own home and the material is swallowing his tip in a way that feels so right.

"thats it baby, jus- a little more"

jeremiah ! blooms into a mix of pinks and reds as the colour works its way up his chest and into his cheeks- timidly meeting your eyes before snapping them shut in avoidance. you can hear the unsteady rythm in his ribs, you can see the resolve slipping in the vice like grip he has on the sheets he's sprawled on- if they were living he would be drawing blood by now and his hips spring forward everytime your underwear meets his. even when the pressures almost none existent.

"calm down sweetheart, you can do it"

[i-cant-sing]

Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.

Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.

Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.

I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.

ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-

"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.

Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.

[sturniologals]

Make it up to you -m.s

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆

Dom!Matt x fem!reader

in which~ y/n had a crush on Matt but his friends/football teammates found out and teased you about it, he joined in on the teasing to hide the fact that he has feelings for you but six months later, you’re desperate for a ride to school and Matt is your only option.

warnings~ p in v/ unprotected (don’t be silly,wrap up your willy)/ use of baby, sweetheart, y/n, praise kink, cursing

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

I stretched my limbs as I tried to peel my eyes open from my sleepy state. "y/n! Hurry up!" My mom shouted at me, afraid id miss the bus.

"Frickity frickity Frick" I mumbled to myself as I looked over at my phone and saw the time reading 7:15, my bus runs in literally like 7 minutes, theres no way I was gonna make it. I opened up my contacts and called and texted at least five of my friends in hope that I could get a ride from one of them but I failed.

I clicked on my last contact I was going to try and started to call my friend Nick.

She answered and her soft voice spoke "Hey y/n!"

"Hey Nick! Is there any possible way that you could give me a ride to school today?" She hummed to herself as she thought about it.

"im sorry girl, Matt took my car today. He has some thing after school but I can call him. He should be able to pick you up!" He chimes.

"No no no, id rather walk. Thank you tho." I say before we bid our goodbyes and hang up.

I meant that, i really would rather walk. Matthew sturniolo has been my biggest enemy since last year, when I first started high school and became friends with Nick. I had an obvious crush on matt even though he was a bit older. His friends found out because matt overheard me talking to Nick about it one time and his friends started to tease me about it and eventually matt joined in and ever since then, they make jokes and poke fun at me anytime I see them.

"y/n! Why are you still in your fucking pajamas?" My mom says angrily from my door.

"Mom its okay, matt is gonna give me a ride!" I spurt out quickly, just not wanting to get into an argument with her.

“Matt? oh! It’s been forever since you guys have hung out.” My mom says, her mood quickly changing to a more joyous one. I roll my eyes at her words and she tells me she loves me before she leaves out for work.

I stand up and put on a pair of black jeans and a dark blue body suit that accentuates my body perfectly. I finish straightening my hair, my luscious blonde locks flowing perfectly down my shoulders. I sit down at my vanity and apply a few makeup products, really just mascara, and a bit of highlighter. Mid way through my routine, i remember i haven’t called Matt yet. My hands start to tremble a bit as i scroll through my contacts in search of his name.

I reluctantly click the call button under his name and the ringing of my phone makes me shudder. After just two rings, he picks up.

“Y/n?” His deep voice grumble from the speakers on my phone.

“Hi Matt! Can you give me a ride to school?” I say peppily, not wanting him to give me any shit.

“I’ll be there in five.” He says before hanging up.

well, that was easy. i think to myself before spritzing myself with some perfume and slipping on my shoes. I grab my bag and walk through my house.

I get to the front door and see trey pulling in.

perfect timing.

The sight of Matts truck parked in my driveway makes me nervous. I push the nervousness down, pulling all of the courage i have out of me and I start walking down my driveway.

Once i step out of my door, he immediately steps out of his truck and walks to the passenger side and opens the door up. He stands leaning on the door, a small smile on his face.

why is he being so fucking nice?

“Hi y/n.” He says in a seductive voice while his eyes trail over my body. The way he’s looking at me sends a heat straight to my core but i try my best to ignore it. I shoot Matt a side eye and a nod of my head as i step up into his truck. He places his hand on my lower back for support as i climb into his vehicle which has me crossing my legs in the passenger seat. Matt looks at me with a hungry look in his eyes as he shuts the door for me and walks over to the driver side.

He climbs into the seat and takes a deep breath in before turning the key over.

“Thanks for picking me up.” I say in the most nonchalant way that i can.

“Yeah, i mean- you haven’t talked to me in almost 6 months so i was surprised you’d wanted me to.” Matt says while looking at me, our eye contact holding strong.

“I didn’t have any other choice.” I say with a shrug of my shoulders and i can see the pain flash in his eyes as i finish my sentence off and i immediately feel bad.

“No- I didn’t mean-“ I start to correct myself but he cuts me off.

“I get it y/n. I really do- don’t apologize sweetheart. I’ve been an asshole to you for so long and i let my friends make jokes and i’m just- i’m so fucking sorry. I was a coward because you made me- feel things.” Matt spurts out, his confession surprising me but making my heart skip a beat and my pussy convulse at the name he called me.

“Matt-“ I start to speak but he cuts me off yet again.

“Can you come to my football game tonight?” He asks impatiently as he starts to pull out of my driveway.

“Matt, you know i hate going to school functions.”

“Please” He says quickly.

“Okay, i’ll be there.” I say reluctantly. I don’t even really know why he wants me there but it seems important so i agree.

The rest of the ride is silent, just Matt glancing at me every few minutes and at some point his large hands made their way to my knee, slowly trailing up my thigh as i squirmed around in my seat, Matt glancing at my neediness but his hand never moved to my heat.

“Here you go sweetheart.” Matt says as we pull up next to the busy school entrance.

“Aren’t you coming?” I ask him.

“I’ll be here later.” He says with a small smile as he unbuckles my seat belt for me and walks around to open my door. His truck is raised high off of the ground but Matt is so tall that his head is still up to my level when he’s standing on the ground in-front of me. He puts his hands around my waist and picks me up out of his truck. I giggle as he sits me down on the ground. He chuckles and tells me he’ll see me later.

As i walk into school, all that’s going through my head is Matt.

the things he said to me were definitely more than ‘friendly’

why is he being so nice?

is this another joke?

the way his hands were all over me tho…

sweetheart?

why does he want me at his game tonight?

i made him feel things?

what things?

i spend the rest of my school day and the whole ride home and the whole time i’m getting ready for the football game also thinking about Matt. The thoughts about him in my head are inevitably erotic and i genuinely can’t help it.

My mom drops me off at the game and i pull at the tight shorts on my legs as i hop out of the car. I walk up into the bleachers and i find a seat that gives me a perfect view of the field. Matt comes out of now where and runs up to the fence that separates us.

“c’mere!” he says loudly, i can see his friends behind him starting to laugh and i get nervous and all of memories of them poking fun at me make me sick and i want to run out of there.

“y/n baby, i said to come here.” Matt demands in a soothing yet firm voice that makes me feel safe. His friends behind him starts staring and looking confused. I am too but i listen to try and walk over to stand over the fence. His eye black is starting to smudge and his hair is tousled perfectly and i’m so close that i can smell his manly musk.

As soon as i’m standing slightly over Matt, he pulls his hands up to my head and pulls me down to him and immediately shoves his lips onto mine. The feeling of his mouth moving over mine is something i’ve wanted to feel for so fucking long. I groan into his mouth as his tongue slips into mine and i can taste the saltiness of his mouth and i’m

craving more. I audibly groan when he pulls away, his lips swollen and pink as he runs back to the field. His friends just staring at him angrily and confused as he flips them off and walks down the field with a smile on his face.

what the fuck just happened?

and why is his whole football team staring at me?

Matt yells at his friends from across the field.

“hey! shitheads! stop staring at my girl and get your asses down here.”

I get butterflies at him calling me ‘his girl’ but then i remember the months of teasing he let his friends do to me and i wipe the smile off of my face quickly. Maybe i should let myself enjoy this tho?

Throughout the whole game, my internal monologue argues with itself. By the end of the game, i decide i want to give him a chance. I believe what he told me. Matt sweaty figure runs up to the fence at the end of the game, they won of course. I’m clapping and smiling at Matt, his eyes looking directly into mine. He puts his arms out over the fence and motions for me to walk over. I do so and he puts his hands on my waist and picks me up over the fence and pulls me onto the field. I smile up at him and he immediately kisses me again.

His friends and even his coach “oooo”-ing at us as he gives me a desperate yet gentle kiss.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since you showed up to my house with your fucking sparkly pink jump rope for cheer practice almost two years ago.” he whispers into my ear as he pulls away. My face goes red with embarrassment.

“You played good.” I say with a proud smile.

He flashes his white teeth at me before one of his friends, jacob, comes up behind Matt. i sigh and immediately get nervous because jacob was one of the main people who teased me. Matt looks over at jacob with sharp eyes, as if he’s warning him to not say anything to me. Jacob just smiles at me. “I’m sorry y/n, i was a dick to you and owen for a long time.”

I nod with a small thin lipped smile.

“you wanna get out of here sweetheart?” owen says to me. I nod my head and he smiles at me as he takes my hand and walks us out of the stadium.

as we walk through the busy parking lot, murmurs from people in our small town are heard.

“ew he’s like- old as fuck.”

“didn’t he literally bully her?”

i block out the noise, Matt squeezing my hand as a sign of comfort.

We get into his truck and i immediately look over at him. “Matt. why?”

he looks at me confusedly. “why what?”

“why did you want me to come tonight?” i ask timidly. He laughs out loud and i grow confused.

“you’re oblivious. I wanted you here tonight so i could kiss you in front of all of the assholes who used to give you shit.” he says with a genuine smile of happiness as he rubs his hand up and down my leg.

“Oh.” I say quietly as it clicks in my head. “Oh!” i say once i get it.

“cmon sweetheart it’s late. i’ll get you home.” Matt says as he reaches over to buckle my seatbelt for me, his long fingers grazing over my chest. Butterflies erupt in my stomach and heat grows between my legs as owen starts his truck and pulls out of the parking lot. His hand is resting on my thigh and quiet music plays, my window cracked slightly allowing some of the cold friday night breeze to flow through the cab of his truck. Every smidge of cold air that hits my skin makes me shudder. My body is extremely sensitive to the touch right now. I look over at owen and his dark eyes are trained on his hand that’s resting on my leg. “you’re so beautiful y/n.” Matt says in a low, seductive voice as his thumb draws circles on my inner thigh.

“pull over.” I say nervously, trying to muster up all of the courage that i have. Matt smirks, knowing what i want as he pulls over by an empty desolate park by some trees that offer a good enough coverage. As soon as he shifts into park, i immediately swing my legs over his lap so i’m straddling. My lips are on his in a hot, sweaty and passionate kiss. The smell of sweat and grass still on Matt makes me impossibly needier.

All of a sudden- Matt pulls my face back.

“Patience baby.” Matt says with an attractive chuckle.

“you’re not gonna fucking tease me all day and then tell me to have patience Matt.” i say firmly as i slowly start to rock my hips back and forth on him, making him groan out.

“oh- don’t- god, y/n.” he says as he throws his head back and shuts his eyes in pleasure as his eyebrows knit together.

“Nuh uh, you owe me six months worth of apologies. You’re gonna be the one making me feel good, yeah?” i say deviously as i cease my movements. Matt eyes open up and meet mine, a smile playing across his features as he laughs and nods his head yes.

“i guess you’re right about that one sweetheart.” he says as he quickly puts a hand on my back and turns me so my back is against the passenger door of his truck as he pulls my ankles up to his shoulders. I groan out as i arch my back needily.

“calm down pretty girl. let me take care of you.” he says softly as he pulls my shorts down my hips. His eyes clench shut together for a second. “you’re so perfect.” he praises as he starts to kiss up my thighs.

“Matt…” i moan out as he gets closer to my core.

he starts to kiss over my clothed cunt before slowly pulling my panties down.

“you’re so soaked. all because of me?” he speaks seductively as i bring my fingers up to his hair and pull his head closer to my pussy impatiently. He laughs out loud before licking a stripe up me which pulls a loud moan out of me. His tongue moves against me quickly and skillfully, pulling more and more noises from me.

“Oh you’re doing so good for me sweetheart.” He says against my cunt before ducking on my bundle of nerves.

“Matt- i’m gonna-“ i pant out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Finish in my mouth, let me taste you.” he says, which sends me over the edge, screaming his name as his head gets squeezed between my clenching thighs.

I pant out as i come down from my high as owen continues to lick me clean like a starved man.

“good?” he asks with an egotistical expression on his face.

“i’ve had better.” i say sarcastically with a shrug.

“Yeah i bet.” he says as he pulls my shorts back up my legs for me.

I sit up straight and fix my hair in his mirror before i buckle my seat belt and Matt starts to drive again.

“y/n” Matts deep voice speaks out, diverting my attention to him.

“hm?” I hum out.

“I love you.” he says with a small nervous smile on his face. My stomach immediately erupts in butterflies and a smile forms on my face.

“I love you too.” I say as i intertwine my fingers with his.

[pcheyes]

the music god from your pre calculus class

pairing: anton x fem reader

genre: fluff, strangers to friends ??

warnings: none

synopsis: the person who sits in your seat before you always puts music recommendations in the calculator, and you’re dying to know who it is

word count: 638

song suggestions: somethin stupid-frank sinatra

you walked into your pre calculus class and sat down. immediately you notice the calculator.

it isnt a fancy calculator, its just a school provided one, with a creepy eye drawing in the back. but everyday someone in the class before you types a song recommendation.

COME THRU-H.E.R.

everyday you try and get to class early to find the elusive person with the really good music taste, but you never catch them. you ask around for who sits there but they all laugh and walk away. you pull out your phone and go to spotify to add yet another song to your playlist called “randos music recommendations”. the playlist ranged from rnb, classical, jazz, to kpop. you continue the class trying to take notes but your mind wanders so you listen to his song from yesterday

FEATHER-SABRINA CARPENTER

‘who’s this person who leaves these songs?’

‘are they hot?’

‘what if im hallucinating all these songs?’

the bell rings and you walk to your next class, listening to the new song. 

⊹☾⋆⁺₊🎧✩°｡

today you were determined.

and you had a plan

you would fake sick to get a pass to the nurses office before your calculus class, and you would creep towards the room and look in to see who sits there. the time came to fake cramps to go to the nurses office and when you did you made a beeline to the calculus class. theres a window peaking into the class so you decided to watch from there. you scope the classroom to find your seat and the mysterious music god who blesses you every day.

and when you do.

oh god you almost slipped from the stool you were standing on because he was beautiful. he had his headphones on and was working on the problem. the class period was ending so he started typing his song recommendation for the day. his friends came over and started talking to him. 

“dude are you ever gonna face her? these song thingies were sweet at first but its getting sad. you always relace your shoes and stretch so you can get out before she comes. i’ve been saying i dont know you for a solid week now” his friend said as he scoffed “sohee what the heck!” the headphone boy said (you had named him that once you saw his headphones) “what ever. i need a headstart, i think i heard her friends say shes sprinting to calc today. i cant take any chances.” he starts stretching and relacing his shoes. the bell rings and he runs out the class. you grab your bag and run after him. he ends off at the orchestra hall and you yank him by his backpack. he yelps and locks eyes with you.

“i finally found you, you music god!” you say out of breath.

he laughs “oh goody!”

“dude who the hell says oh goody” 

“sorry” he says. “look i’m late for my orchestra practice so could you just uh, god you’re really pretty, look at the calculator and call it a day” 

you pull out a market and motion for him to stick out his forearm. he gives it to you and you write your number on his forearm. 

“make sure to send all your song recommendations to me. my ears are blessed after your beautiful songs or something.” his cheeks turn a deep scarlet. “oh uh yeah sure sure i’ll send it to you totally.” you nod and start walking away. suddenly he shouts after you “your hair looks really pretty today! not that it doesnt look pretty every day, i just like the slick back in the front, with the little curls in the front. it frames your face really well. makes you look extra beautiful.” you smile back at him.

“thanks music boy”

authors note: we need to bring back loser anton, he hasnt been his loser self since love 119. but i actually do this everyday in maths class and someone caught me leaving the class late and screamed “ITS THE MUSIC GIRL !!” but thanks to @chlorinecake and @kairoot for the songs !!

taglist: @unikivrse msg or comment to be added

feedback, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated

[ihaechans]

Your Red Lipstick || L.DH

PAIRING ▸ boyfriend!Haechan x reader

GENRES ▸ overwhelming fluff, healthy relationship

WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ minimal profanity, Hyuck is really in love it’s sickening, kissing, teasing, mentions of Hyuck getting a boner but it really goes no where after that

SUMMARY ▸ Kisses, kisses, kisses. That’s all your boyfriend wants. When you refuse to give him the one thing he craves, he won’t leave you alone, begging and begging until you give in.

WORD COUNT▸ 1k

Authors note: was really battling on whether I should make this into smut or not but I decided to keep it cute since I barely ever write fluffy things 🥰 (this also isnt proofread so oopsies if theres any mistakes) enjoy!

Things like this were no longer surprising.

Hyuck wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you incredibly close.

“I just got home from work baby, Im sweaty and I need to shower.”

You already knew what he was going to say, completely unbothered when he opens his mouth to speak.

“Just let me kiss you, wanna hold you please.” Doe eyes stare straight at you, your boyfriend begging like a starved man for a kiss.

He had been repeating that same phrase for the past fifteen minutes now, not letting up in the slightest.

“Hyuck, I need to shower.”

You know fighting is completely pointless, he wouldn’t let you go without getting that kiss and you both knew it. His persistence was both endearing and slightly frustrating, your tired body wanting nothing but a hot shower and a nice nap after work.

Your boyfriend puckers his lips and shuts his eyes, waiting for you to grant his wish. It’s hard not to laugh at his cuteness, the scene making you smile.

Finally, you give in to his request, unable to resist his adorable puckered lips and closed eyes.

It’s a short and sweet kiss, but it leaves your boyfriend with a tint of red painted across his lips, your lipstick transferring onto his own lips.

Laughter fills the air as you stare at him, your boyfriend tilting his head in question at your actions.

“Cute” you smile, squeezing his cheeks and pecking a kiss to his cheek before walking away, heading to your shared bedroom.

“Woah woah woah wait! What’s so funny?” He chases after you like a lost puppy, pouting when you snicker to yourself, ignoring him. “Baby, what are you laughing at?”

“It’s nothing Hyuck, don’t worry.” You can’t even make eye contact with the boy without falling into a fit of giggles, Hyuck getting embarrassed as you continue laughing at him.

Your red lipstick leaves a vivid mark on his cheek, contrasting against his own fair skin. It’s adorable, and you’d leave another one if you weren’t so desperate to shower and lay down.

Hyuck follows you down the hall and all the way to your shared bedroom, hot on your heels.

“Babe, are you gonna let me shower in peace or are you gonna keep following me?”

“Haha very funny.” Hyuck smirks and leans against the doorway, his eyes fixated on your body as you start to peel your shirt off.

“Don’t be a weirdo~” you tease, turning away from him to hide your body.

Hyuck continues to pout, flopping down onto the bed with a dramatic groan. “All I want is to kiss my beautiful girlfriend and she won’t let me. How is that fair? A cute boy like me deserves all her kisses.”

You chuckle at his playful complaints, throwing your shirt directly into his face and turning towards him, nothing covering your top half but a bra.

Donghyuck yelps when your shirt suddenly flies into his face, but once he realizes what’s going on he takes a big whiff of your scent like a weirdo, letting out a dramatic sigh and blabbering about how good you smell.

“You know,” he starts, propping himself up on his elbows, “All I want is a kiss and you’re giving me everything but that.”

A sigh leaves you as realization dawns over you. Donghyuck would not let you shower nor sleep in peace until he got another kiss, a real kiss.

“Donghyuck.”

He perks up when you say his government name, eyes widening slightly as you reluctantly stride over to him.

“Want a kiss?” His tongue is practically hanging out of his mouth when you straddle him, hands instinctively moving to your waist.

He nods without saying a word, licking his lips as he waits for your lips to meet. With a sigh, you give in, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips.

Hyuck doesn’t let you go when you try to break the kiss, one of his hands finding place on the back of your neck as he brings you even closer, forcefully deepening it. His grip tightens, his fingers tangling in the luscious strands of your hair, pulling you in deeper and making your head spin.

This is not how this usually goes.

Your boyfriend playfully slaps your ass, causing you to moan into his mouth as you are caught by surprise. “Hyuck!” you scold, staring deep into his eyes as you pant slightly, lust swimming in his brown orbs.

“I have a great idea,” you say, leaning in close, but not close enough for Hyucks liking. “How about…”

The suspense is killing Hyuck as you speak extra slow, purposely keeping him on his toes. You can feel his now growing erection poking the side of your thigh, but choose to ignore it, smiling to yourself as you feel him try to subtly grind against you for some sort of relief.

“How about I go take a shower?” In a flash, you hop off of your boyfriend, dashing to the bathroom door and locking it.

“Babeeeee,” he whines, not even making an attempt to chase after you as he sits there in complete awe. “You’re so mean to me.”

Laughing to yourself, you take a look at yourself in the mirror, all of your lipstick completely gone.

“Oh yeah babe, almost forgot to tell you that you’ve got a little something on your face.”

And with that, Hyuck groans, his brain finally putting the pieces together.

“You’re evil, you know that?” He sighs, burying his face into the mattress with a groan as he embraces defeat.

[jacaerysgf]

just a little 1k wc smutty drabble of jacaerys eating good, enjoy 😊

You wish you hadn't seen it. What they had been doing, for it is had been plaguing your mind all day. You try to shake off the burning desire in your stomach as you recall the events.

You can’t, for even while you're kissing your husband you are thinking about it. He pulls away from you, a small string of saliva connects the two of you and as he stares at you with hearts in his eyes. “Is something wrong dear?”

You and Jacaerys have always had a very standard time in the bedroom. It is always very pleasurable for you, though you now know that is not the norm after some very shocking and concerning conversations with the other ladies in court, and this leaves you feeling guilty.

Guilty for wanting more of him, wanting him to consume you, for wanting him to give you more when he has already been selfish enough.

“It is nothing dear.” You attempt to push your lips against his once more but he holds your shoulders firmly in place, looking at you worriedly. “You are not yourself. If you are not up for it tonight we do not have to bed, i will not force myself on you.”

This has your heart aching as you look down. He is always so kind and so sweet to you. Which makes you feel like a dirty animal for the thoughts you are thinking.

“I do want to, so badly dear its just,,,” You trail off , turning your head the other way. He is quick to grab your chin and tilt your head back up to look at him. “What is it? If it is something i can do for you i will do it.”

You know he can do it. Or at least you hope he can.

“I had been walking around and i stumbled upon something,” You hesitate, unable to believe the words that are about to drip out of your mouth. “they were a squire and a maid, in the wine cellar, he had he propped up on one of the boxes, he seemed to be giving her pleasure but,” “but what?” Jacaerys voice is shaky, his hands rattle on your skin, he is desperate to hear your words, his breath fans on your skin in a rapid rhythm.

“But his head was between her legs. It is sinful and it is scandalous but i have never seen or heard anything like that before. It had engraved itself in my mind and i cannot stop thinking about ti, the blissful look on her face, not that you do not give me pleasure of course but this looked like it was different. Im sorry i know it is wrong to think about-” You gasp as his lips press heavily against yours.

He grips your jaw with a fury as he kisses you like he never has before. He pulls away from you and presses your foreheads together as you catch your breath. “You wish for me to do that to you my sweet? i will i will do it, gods i have been thinking about this for so long. You let out a squeal as he lightly pushes you to fall onto your back.

“Truly? Then why have you never brought this up before?” He looks embarrassed but he cannot stop himself from tugging up your nightgown to pool around your hips and reveal you bare to him. “It is quite, carnal, i suppose theres no better word for it. I did not think i lady like you would be interested.”

He presses a kiss against your stomach before he looks up at you once more. Its breathtaking to see him at an angle like this, simply staring up at you, you try to catch your breath but you are unable to as he begins to trail kisses down your stomach before stopping right where you want him and moving instead to grab your legs and place them on either sides of his shoulders.

You should feel humiliated, shame should be coursing through your veins but the way jacaerys has an awestruck look as he admires you and the way his hands softly caress your skin is enough to quench any worries and fears you have.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks, despite the fact that it had been your idea. “Yes.” There is not way you can stop your desire, certainly not with how desperate he seems, like he is dying to be able to put his head between your legs.

His face disappears from your view and you feel him kiss around your thighs. You whine as he continues to simply brush around where you want him and he chuckled, “i’m sorry i will not tease you.”

You wanted to say something back to him but you suddenly jump and a shiver runs down your spine as you feel his hot wet tongue push past your folds.

You harshly grip the top of his head as he hims content, the vibration adding another level of pleasure. You get why the woman seemed to pleased, this was on another plane of ecstasy.

Your head thrown back as he continues to lap against you, the sounds in the room leave your skin feeling hot. You continue to revel in the feeling of him licking at you, drinking up every drop you let out until you also feel something harder press against you. His nose.

You have no clue how he’s even breathing. But you cannot find it in you to care as you find your hips moving on their own, rubbing against his face, hitting his tongue and his nose so perfectly it has you seeing stars.

“Keep doing that please.” He pulls away for a quick second to speak before he is right back to it. You listen, continuing to rut yourself again his face, unable to contain your moans. You’re sure everyone in the damn keep could hear you but you don’t care.

You do notice something curious, he is rutting himself against the bed, the moans he pours into you adds to your pleasure. Was he surely so pleased by this? by bringing you pleasure he had no other choice than to try and quench his own hunger by rutting himself against your sheets like a dog?

You have no time to dwell on it as he brings one of his hands to your clit, taking it in his fingers and rubbing it around. You’re thrown into a whirlwind of pleasure like you couldn't believe. You're sure this is what heaven must feel like.

His hand slides up your chest and you lock your fingers with his as you feel yourself drawing closer and closer to your release. It is like your souls locking together. He grips you so tightly and you grip his back as your face contorts in pleasure as you burst.

You continue to wither in pleasure as he laps up every single drop of essence you spill out in your release. He sits up and stares at you with wide eyes, his usual brown eyes lost in a storm of black, pleasure seeping into his soul.

You can see the shine gloss all over his face, his nose, his jaw, his chin, his lips and his lip especially are noticeable as you can see they are redder and bigger. You watch as he licks his lips and grins at you. “That is so much better than i could have ever dreamed of.”

You have to agree

<3 went a little crazy and wrote this yesterday when i was freaking out of jace <3

Perm Jacaerys taglist

@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife @jacesvelaryons

[angels-fantasy]

On my lady days soooo

Bakubaby period comfort?

Comforting You On Your Period

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Details: reader has a period, umm just talks avout cramps and stuff

Word Count: 469

IM SO FUCKING PISSED BC I LITERALLY JUST WROTE A WHOLE THING FOR THIS AND THEN IT FUCKING DELETED i dont even wanna write it anymore but im still going to especially bc my sweet dear asked for it 😼 and im also on my period #bloodsisters

you groaned as you lied in a fetal position on your bed, clutching your stomach. cramps were your worst enemy right now, especially since they were making it hard to even move, but that's why you had katsuki.

you heard him walk into the room and place something on the nightstand next to your bed. he sat down next to you on the bed and rubbed your shoulder, "i brought you some ibuprofen and water. sit up so you can take it."

you groaned more, "but it hurts..."

"but if you take it then it won't hurt."

well, he had a good point there.

you cursed him internally and sighed, forcing yourself to sit upright. he handed you a few pills and a glass of water to drink them with.

after you did so, you placed the glass back on your nightstand and went back to lay down but you were stopped by your boyfriend.

"hey if you're gonna lay down you can't fall asleep. you need to eat something with the medication, so i'm gonna go get you something. what do you want?" he asked.

you wanted to be upset at him for not letting you rot away in bed, but he was going to bring you food so it was okay. you told him what you wanted to eat and he nodded, leaning down to give you a kiss on your head which made you smile.

"you're such a sap."

"shut up."

a moment later he came back with the food you requested and you sat up slowly, accepting it from him happily. you pat the spot in bed next to you, "come sit with me, kats. we can watch tv together."

he did as you said and sat next to you, putting on the movie you requested to watch. you'd been watching this movie on repeat for the past week which would annoy him if it was anyone else, but it was you, so it was okay.

while you munched on your food you began to feel better and finally felt some relief from your pain. you leaned against katsuki, "thank you for taking care of me."

"'s no problem." he said, leaning into you too. the two of you embraced each other for a while until you felt your food-coma begin to hit and you slowly laid back down, bringing him with you.

"let's just-" you yawned, "take a nap..." you said, already half asleep. katsuki laughed softly and pulled you into his chest, rubbing your back as you slept.

sometimes he wondered if he was doing an okay job at attending to your needs, especially because he knew he was more of a 'tough love' kind of person. but moments like these helped reassure himself that he was doing a pretty decent job.

authors note

sigh

im still mad that the first version got deleted smh but WHATEVER i just need to go to sleep. if theres any mistakes or stuff that doesnt make sense pls lmk because im literally half asleep right now lolol kay goodnight!

taglist for bakugou fics: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot @b134ch-m4h-ey3z

[solanal0ve]

HOW THEY FUCK YOU ON NEW YEARS

ִ ★ Its new years and your getting fucked. {Toji, Choso and Gojo}

ִ★ contents: fem!reader, hair pulling, praise, edging, creampie, begging and some other stuff

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ TOJI FUSHIGURO

He will find anywhere and any place to bend you over. The couch, a table, a chair anywhere. He has been edging you for at least an hour. He’s pulling on your hair whispering naughty things in your ear while fucking you stupid. “Oh look at that.. the ball is about to drop” You look at the T.V and see the count down. “Come on baby count with us” Giving a hard slap to your ass making you a moaning mess while he pounds into your sweet cunt like the worlds about to end. He really wants you to count while he is fucking you non stop? “10.. 9..” He beings counting. “Oh fuck im gonna cum!” You practically yell. Your legs are aching in pain from the roughness of tojis fucking and you feel cross eyed. “Dont you fucking dare” He groans in your ear. “Count” you can’t believe it he actually wants you to count. The idea slowly dawns on you that he wont let you cum until you count and new years has passed. He knows you will do anything to cum. “5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1” You count. “Cum” It was almost in a whisper but your glad you heard it. Your orgasm rips though you sending a wave of pleasure through your body. “Happy new year baby”

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ CHOSO KAMO

He is leaving passionate kisses from you neck all the way down to your pussy. He already ate you out but he is just naturally a sweetheart and loves to kiss you body. “You ready?” The tip of his dick is pressing up against you entrance and theres 5 minutes until midnight where it will be a year new. You nod and watch as his dick slides into you pussy with ease. You moan from the feeling of being filled up with his dick and you already know this will be fun. He begins to thrust in and out of you like there is no tomorrow making your body ache but you didn’t mind you were just happy that you got to get fucked by him. Choso. 1 minute til midnight. “Oh yes.. Fuckkk choso” You moan feeling his dick slide in and out and always pounding into that spot that makes you want to lose your mind. “Just like that baby, moan my name for me” You hear him panting heavily and you pussy squeezes around his cock. 10.. 9.. 8.. “Lets cum on 1..ok?” He growls in you ear. You nod unable to say anything. 3..2..1 Fireworks pop outside and there beautiful but you don’t pay muck attention to that as you both release. You can feel his cum filling you to the brim, its warm and it feels really good. “Happy.. happy new years my love”

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ SATORU GOJO

Gojo had been edging and teasing you for at least an hour now. He would let you cum and then build you up for another release then take it away. It was like he was playing with you feeling and you didn’t like that very much. You were a sobbing begging mess he had now edged you 3 time in a row. “T-toru please.” There were tears running down you cheeks all you wanted to do was cum “Please what..? use your words.” You knew exactly what he was doing you both knew new years was another 2 minutes from now and he is gonna make you hold out until then. “Please let me cum toru please.” Your legs were aching and you body was sore but you still had 2 minutes. “Hmmm should i?” He asks himself slowly pulling out on ur dripping pussy “Nope” A grin spreads across his face and he pounds back into you pussy making you cry out with a mix of pain and pleasure. 30 seconds on the count down and you a moaning sobbing mess you want it to end but want him to keep going. “Your doing such a good job.. Just a little more baby” He groaned in you ear with you legs over his shoulders. 8.. 7.. “Come on baby just a little longer” You were at your breaking point but you cant hold it for a few more seconds right? 3.. 2.. 1.. Its new years. “cum for me baby” Using his tumb to rub your clit in small circles you release all over him and you body fell pimp. “Happy new year.”

NOTES . . . HAPPY NEW YEARS though im a little late because i’ve been busy i wanna say thank you for 80+ notes on my last post. I wanted to do sukuna but its 2am im sleepy n i have school tmr but i hope you all had a wonderful new years and love ya

[dazed--xx]

SKZ Break up Reaction (Maknae Line)

A/N:so I’m uploading this on my phone cause my 4 year old decided to break my chromebooks screen but I wanted to get this posted so I can post the second part to both anyway if you guys have any requests my requests are open any group you want me to write I usually do lol so just let me know anyway hope you enjoy please like comment reblog I love hearing your opinions

Jisung:

“GET OUT!” You shout, as you feel Jisungs arms wrap around your waist. You can feel his tears leaking through your shirt as he begs you to hear him out. Your tears streamed down your face. “you need to leave Jisung” You growl taking his arms from around you. His head shakes in panic “No! NO! Im sorry okay?! It was a mistake it didn’t mean anything to me” he cries. His shoulders shaking rapidly. You scoff at his words “Yeah for you it was just a fucking tuesday of course it wouldn’t mean shit to you. But the fact that you didn’t even think about me or I don’t know maybe the fact that you werent even single, proves to me that everything youre saying is bullshit. You don’t just go and fuck someone and then say Oops I made a mistake. You made a fucking choice Jisung and just cause it doesn’t mean anything to you now doesn’t mean you didn’t fucking do it and proves how much I cant trust you.” You snap, gesturing to the crying boy. Grabbing the bags you packed for him, you shove them at your ex boyfriend.

“I don’t want to go” Jisung confesses, his hand wrapping around your wrist pulling you back into him; burying your face in his chest. “Please don’t make me go, I don’t want to wake up every morning without you. I don’t want to let you go. It meant nothing then and now please believe me I don’t want anyone else it was a drunken mistake and I will never stop regretting it. I can make it up to you, I-I c-can fix things please—fuck—please don’t make me go. I love you” His sobs take over his body as you begin to pull yourself away from him. You stare at him, wanting to remember every inch of his face. You caress his cheek. Your eyes locking with one another “Im sorry, but I cant trust you anymore and I cant be with someone I cant trust. I want to break up. Im sorry but if you don’t leave. I will” You confess pulling your hand away from him. “Please....” He whines “Im sorry fuck im so sorry theres nothing I could be more sorry about I don’t know how to fix it. But I don’t want to leave please don’t make me leave, I need you okay? I need YOU! No one else I don’t know how to convince you of that” You shake your head at his words “You don’t need to convince me, you never will be able to Jisung, there’s never an excuse and I wont be able to trust you ever again. It will always feel like a lie.” His eyes widen in shock.

“i-I-” You lift your hand, not wanting to hear anymore “Just go, Jisung! Im done you hurt me way to much and I don’t want to hear your lies anymore” You growl. Nodding in defeat, he picks up his bags and makes his way to the door. You hold the door open for him as he makes his way out as he turns to face you once more you can feel your resolve breaking “I will always love you” he cries as you close the door.

Felix:

NEW MESSAGE: LIXIE💕☀️

Hey baby, just wanted to tell you good morning and I miss you when can I see you again? Its been too long😞

Your heart races as you read his message. Biting your lip you contemplate replying before deciding to lock your phone and continue avoiding him. You werent sure why he even bothered anymore, you knew he was pretending, and whilst he didn’t know you had learned the truth about him, you felt stupid every time you thought about seeing him. You were torn between the Felix you had gotten to know a bubbly sweet and kindhearted person that would give up their last for anyone in need, and the one that, apparently, likes to make bets with his friends about how long it would take for you to sleep with him. Its been a few days since you had been told the truth by Minho’s girlfriend, and ever since you had avoided Felix. You couldn’t help but feel anxious and idiotic anytime you thought about being near him, apparently he had won the bet, you did sleep with him fairly quickly considering you guys have been going out for only a few months and have been actively having sex since about your third date; and the idea that right after he went and reported his win to the boys made you feel dirty, gross, and used.

Your phone vibrating in your hand pulls you from your thoughts. Staring at the screen youre met with a photo of your smiling boyfriend. Pressing the decline button, you toss your phone on the bed lifting yourself to your feet. You stare around your room, pictures of you and Felix laugh at you as you grab the stuffed bear Felix had won for you on your second date. With a newfound resolve you toss the bear on the ground. Your body acting on its own accord as you begin throwing every symbol and memory of your relationship in a large destructive pile on the ground. Sobs rack through your chest, nausea building in your stomach. You trusted him, you allowed him to knock your walls down and he lied, pretended and faked his way through everything. With determination in your heart you stomp your way over to your bed grabbing your phone opening your messages with him.

To: LIXIE💕☀️

Please stop calling me stop texting me just leave me alone you won your stupid bet just leave me alone we’re done.

Your palms were sweating as your phone began vibrating once more. You stare at the photo of Felix, your jaw clenches as hot tears run down your face. You watch as the photo disappears a missed call notification coming in before the photo pops up once more. You sit in place as a plethora of calls continue to come in as well as messages all unseen. With a shaky breathe you turn your phone off, opting to take a shower you trudge your way to the bathroom. Your movements halt at the rapid knocks on your front door. “Babe! Please—fuck—open the door!” Felix’s deep voice pleads. Your hand smacks over your mouth, as you hear your doorknob rattling “Y/N! Open up please” he cries. “Let me explain!” The knocks continue in quick succession. “P-please! I-I c-can’t lo-lose y-yo-you, n-not like t-this please!” His voice is desperate, you could tell he was crying. “I’m sorry” the door begins to shake. You could tell he was trying to ram the door open. “I’m sorry! Please talk to me, we can’t be over we can’t Im an idiot but you mean so much to me don’t break up with me I’m sorry! I’ll explain I’ll tell you everything please” your sobs unable to be hidden anymore “Y/N?! Are you crying? Please—fuck—don’t cry please I’m sorry please open the door please! I need to see you. I need you to listen please open up!” He pleaded. You stared at the door as your heart pounded on your sternum as Felix pounded on your door. You apologized silently as you sat on the ground your arm wrapped around your waist as you held your hand over your mouth; tears steadily streaming down your face not being able to bring yourself to open the door.

Seungmin:

You stared blankly at the mahogany table, avoiding Seungmins bored stare. “Why did you ask me to meet you here if you weren’t going to say anything?” He questions confusion etched on his features You sat in shock at his words, you weren’t sure why you were so surprised at the cold stoic tone he used. It had always been the same with him anyway always leaving you to feel small under his judging gaze. You questioned the status of your relationship often due to the lack of affection on either part. You felt more like a close friend rather than his girlfriend or even someone he was dating, and whilst you two had never defined your relationship, you did assume from the fact that he had specifically told you that he had considered the time you two spent together as dates. You stared at your hands as your fingers continued to play with themselves in your lap. “I’m sorry…” you murmur, you hear him hum in response “it’s fine everyone has bad days” you shake your head in response “n-no…I’m sorry but I don’t think we should see each other anymore” your voice is almost a whisper but the widening of Seungmin’s eyes has you shocked. “C-Can I ask why? I thought things were going well…” he questions his hand reaching for yours sadness flashes across his features as you shift yourself further away from him “we’re more friends than anything don’t you think” you mumble disappointedly. “Friends?” He scoffs like the term was beneath him. “I’d like to think we are more than friends” he states calmly.

You wrap your arms around your waist “honestly can you name a single time we’ve done anything that could signify that we’re more than friends” you snap. Seungmin leans back in his seat, taking a sip of his coffee. “We go out on dates…umm I talk to you all the time…” he trails as he contemplates more answers only to come up with nothing and letting out a sigh. “It’s okay…you aren’t attracted to me Seungminie, not the way I am to you and I think you should find a girl you actually like” you state sadly as you lift yourself from your seat. “Goodbye…” you mumble as you make you’re way out of the café. Seungmin sat there in shock, a tear running down his cheek as you make your exit. He willed himself to say something, anything to get you to stay. He watched in horror as you made your way out of the door. His heart shattering in his chest as he wills you to turn around and just see him, see how he’s falling apart at your departure. He’s begged for every moment with you and in his idiocy you were wisped away, he felt lost what could he do?

Jeongin:

“You’re really wearing that?!” The disgust oozing out in his tone. You look down at your lilac skin tight dress and white thigh highs before nodding with confusion etched on your features a pout in your lips. “I-is there something wrong with what Im wearing?” You prod your eyebrow raising in offense. Jeongin scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. You stood in your place, biting your lip in frustration “I mean you look really…..interesting.” He grits. You could feel the uncomfortable stares. You knew what he meant by interesting, reflexively you tug on the hem of your dress bringing it lower on your legs. “Don’t listen to him you look great!” Nayeon smiled as she rubbed your wrist comfortingly. You nod dejected, your eyes not leaving the ground. “I-I’m going to get something to drink” you state rapidly as you rush over to the kitchen. You stare down at your dress, you felt stupid and thanked god you had brought a hoodie. Taking a deep breath you grab a red solo cup pouring a small bit of vodka and adding pineapple juice before mixing the drink. You stare into the concoction, as used to Jeongins temperament and the harshness of his tone you are, you contemplate as to why you had even entered this torturous relationship.

You couldn’t think of many times when Jeongin would speak to you without insulting you in some shape or form. From your hair being the wrong way to you just being too annoying for his taste that day there was always something you did wrong. You thought today would be different, you thought for once he’d actually acknowledge you the way he used too when you first began. Your heart completely shattered considering it was your second anniversary. Your relationship was fantastic up until just a few months ago and now it feels like Jeongin would rather drop dead before even looking at you anymore. You don’t know why you had bothered anymore it obviously wasn’t working. You’ve done everything you could to try to save your relationship tonight being your final attempt and as much as you wanted to give the rest of the night a chance; he couldn’t even acknowledge your anniversary all day and then to greet you like that at a party you didn’t even want to be at. You weren’t sure if you could continue this, you missed your loving, sweet boyfriend. You didn’t know who this Jeongin was. You sighed as you take a sip from your drink. The mixture of alcohol to juice lacking so you grab the vodka bottle once more.

“Sure get drunk so I have to take care of you tonight” you hear from behind you, you roll your eyes. “What? I’m literally just making my first drink” you scoff before turning and shoving past your boyfriend his hand wrapping around your arm “oh and thanks for embarrassing me tonight by the way” he spits. An embarrassing heat fills your cheeks “how did I embarrass you?” You growl a fire burning in your eyes. “You’re kidding right?” His lips are formed in a tight line, you press your chest against his in defiance “No! How did I fucking embarrass you Jeongin?”

“So dressing like a slut to a party where you know your boyfriend and his friends are going to be isn’t a fucking problem? It’s not embarrassing?” He snaps, the glare in his eyes challenging you. The rage filling your stomach you toss your drink in his face. “I can’t believe you! You fucking prick” you shout, Jeongins eyes grow wide at your action. He stood there shocked, covered in your drink, his hands reaching for you quickly with a call of your name. You put your arms up preventing him from touching you. “No! I’m done! I’m so fucking done with you Jeongin! For months I’ve put up with your shitty attitude all because I loved you and you obviously don’t feel the fucking same anymore! You made me miserable and I still loved you! Don’t call me don’t text me just leave me alone. Happy anniversary Jeongin, I’m giving you the best gift I could…you’re single congratulations” your resolve completely breaking as tears stream down your face. You can see the panic in Jeongins eyes, his mouth sits agape in shock. With a scoff you turn to make your exit. “W-wait! Where are you going?” He calls, his voice is shaky. “Babe?!” You can hear him following after you “wait! Y/N!” His voice is shaky as you make your way out the front door, you knew if you turned back just one look at his face would break you. You had to keep going; you picked up your pace as the cold air kissed your skin.

Your car was only down the street a bit you just had to make it there and you were home free. Your heart raced as your legs moved rapidly. You felt arms wrapped around your waist pulling you back into a strong frame. The familiar cologne fills your nostrils, you could feel his shaking figure. “Don’t go, I’m sorry” he pleads. You sigh “please let me go Jeongin” pulling his arms from around you not turning to look at him. “I’m sorry please don’t go im an idiot I didn’t mean to forget but I don’t think it’s something you should break up with me over” he scoffs slight annoyance in his tone. A scowl forms on your face as you whip around to look him in his eyes “you know what?! Yeah! You ARE indeed a fucking idiot! If you think I’m breaking up with you over this bullshit ass anniversary then you’re wrong! You treat me like shit and a burden and I’m just done you obviously don’t love me anymore and as much as I do love you I deserve better just…please leave me alone…” tears stream down your face at a rapid pace, your heart shattering at every word. Your eyes drifting to the floor as your bottom lip finds it’s way between your teeth. Your eyes never once lifting to meet his as you turn away from him and make your way to your car. You don’t see Jeongin standing there in horror as you ultimately walk away from him. You don’t hear the sound of his heart shattering in his chest as you don’t look back at him. His jaw clenched as tears stream down his cheeks willing himself to not chase after you because like you said, you did deserve better

[hyunjinspark]

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 16

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au, star-crossed lovers

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him. there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned. 

word count: 25K

warnings: cursing, drinking, mutual pining, mostly just a lot of angst, yn is insanely in love its actually a lot, making out, jealousy, grinding, hyunjin is a little mean, sexual tension, tons of new characters, a lot of coincidences, mature content, angst

a/n: soo hyunjin dropped contradicting and somehow it's absolutely perfect for this chapter. this part does also have undertones of 'love untold' in it too, and im very excited to finally be writing the city arc! this was a long time coming and i really hope you enjoy it. theres tons of angst in this so im sorry about that. please get comfortable with snacks and a blanket to read. you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

The girl next to him was pretty, in a timeless Marilyn Monroe kind of way. She had striking features, and even from this little interaction you knew her face would be burned into your memory. She was standing next to Hyunjin so simply, as if that wasn’t a place that you had been pining for all these months. 

Her hand rested on the small of his back, animated eyes as she talked to him. Even now, he looked as good as the day he left. The trench coat fit his body just right, and he was so much taller than everyone else in this shop. His hair had grown longer in your absence and chocolate strands brushed his shoulders.

The last time you saw him, he kissed you until your lips were bruised, and his pants were stained with cum. 

Right now… he was pretending like you didn’t even exist.

The woman looked over her shoulder, eyes meeting yours briefly as if she’d felt your burning gaze. You ought to be embarrassed that you were caught staring, yet you stood your ground. You expected a sneer, but she smiled at you — the polite kind of smile you give strangers as you pass them in the street — before turning to him again. 

Monstrous curiosity clawed at your chest, gut turning in envy. She reached into her purse, an expensive-looking red bag that you couldn’t afford in any lifetime, and pulled out a black credit card. Before she could hand it into the cashier though, Hyunjin’s arm reached out, stopping her. He was touching her now, if only so briefly, but a wave of debilitating nausea overcame you. You could hear him saying, “Please, let me get this” 

You were all the way across the store, but you’d be able to hear him among a million voices. The familiarity of his kindness pulled at your heartstrings. 

The woman didn’t protest, probably because Hyunjin was the biggest star in this city, and he could afford anything he wanted, and everything she could ask for. 

“That art building is just a few blocks down from here. I can tell you the way. It’s pretty easy” The boy you’d asked for help said. He had an employee uniform on, and a silver name tag that read “Jae”. 

You’d quickly forgotten your purpose for being out and about in the streets of Seoul. You’d come here for a reason, to have a glimpse at the building you’d be studying at, the place you’d been dreaming of. Yet…you’d never longed for something as much as you did for Hyunjin.

“Yeah, um, thank you” You mumbled half-heartedly, eyes still on Hyunjin, “Can you just…give me a minute?”

It was rude of you to ask for help but not take it, only because you were distracted by a boy. “Sure, uh…take your time” The employee stepped away, not really caring about your internal drama.

Hyunjin’s back was still to you. You’d been worried about why you couldn’t contact him this entire time. A part of you was relieved; if he was here that meant he was okay, even after disappearing entirely off the grid.

He grabbed the paper bag they’d purchased, a blue cereal box peeking out, threatening to topple. It didn’t fit in the bag, but he made no effort to fix it. He didn’t seem too involved in the task. They had finished bagging their snacks, and that meant they’d leave. 

There was nobody in the shop anymore, except you and them. A black car was parked just outside. It was probably his. Once he got in the car…he’d be far away from you, down a thousand identical streets and hidden between skyscrapers you’d never find him in. There were ten million people in this city. How would you ever find him again? You had no fucking way of contacting him.

He walked past where you stood in the aisle, and your pulse was pounding in your ears, tunnel vision shielding everything else.

You’d been searching for him this entire time…you couldn’t just let him walk away.  

It was now or never. 

He pushed the door open, and outside air swirled in. 

It snapped you into action.

“Hyunjin?” Your voice wavered, and it wasn’t loud enough for this city. Your plea was drowned amongst sirens, traffic and noise.

But he stopped walking, shoulders tensing.

He heard you.

Hurriedly, you stepped towards him, navigating through the messy snacks aisle. Your hands were shaking, and you pushed them into your jacket pockets to hide that. The effect he had on you was embarrassing, even at such a time. 

“Can I just talk to you for a second?” You asked, hoping you didn’t sound as desperate or nervous as you felt.

He turned around to look at you, and his knuckles were white from how tight he was gripping their bags. The grocery must be heavy, and even in a circumstance like this, you worried for him. His gaze on you was unrecognizable. It was almost like it wasn’t really him at the moment…as if he’d been replaced by a carbon copy, which was colder and meaner, and didn’t feel anything for you. 

His eyes zeroed in on you, and you suddenly felt so conscious. You wish you’d dressed up better, instead of this dull, beige coat you picked off a thrift shop back home. This was the first he was seeing you after months, and you weren’t prepared. You shot him a smile. Quick and rough, and forced, but a smile nonetheless.

He had to know you were happy to see him. Inside, you were screaming.

The girl at his side looked at you again, eyebrows raised in confusion. Her earlier politeness had worn off, and now she just looked bothered. Who even was this woman?

There’d be time for questions later though, because she pulled at his arm, “Come on. We’ll be late Hyunjin” Her tone had authority to it, a kind of tone you’d never used with him. 

“Can we talk?” You repeated your question. The woman wrinkled her nose, and now that you really looked at her…she was much older than you. She had expensive taste, clearly, and an aura of confidence you could never possess.

Hyunjin’s mouth parted, and then closed again, like he was having trouble speaking. There was so much to say, after all. But even if he couldn’t talk right now, you’d be happy to just know if he was okay. 

You wanted to ask him for his number, but you waited, giving him the time to say whatever was on his mind. There must be a lot on it. It had to be his company pulling the strings and making him cut off all contact with you. He had to have been forced somehow, because he wasn’t that kind of person. 

The longer he said nothing, the dizzier you felt. The truth was becoming obvious. Maybe it wasn’t all that far-fetched to believe that he had cut you off….on purpose.

Your chest tightened impossibly, a horrible feeling building up in your gut. There were lines in his forehead, and guilt in his eyes. Your nails dug into your palms as you tightly clenched your fists, but you were numb to that pain.

But it had to be a misunderstanding, because Hyunjin would never do that to you, would he? In fact, he’d…never do that to anyone. He was far too kind to resort to something like complete radio silence.

“I’m sorry” He spoke.

Your knees almost gave out at his voice. You’d missed it so much, and your heart was catching up to your mind, to register what he said.

Sorry for what?

He swallowed hard, steely gaze meeting your confused one, “I’m sorry… I don’t have time for this”

Before you could even process those words, he had walked out into the cold night, leaving you standing in the stupid fucking store, all by yourself. That was all there was to it.

Maybe everything that you knew about Hyunjin was wrong.

»»————-

“I’m sorry. I can’t help you…you do not have authorisation to enter the building” The security guard repeated, for the third time that night, as if you needed any more humiliation right now. 

Your cheeks were burning red, and you were trembling from the cold, “Please, he knows who I am. Just ask him”

He was visibly annoyed, “If you don’t have a visitor pass, you have to stay in the lobby, until the employee buzzes you in”

You tightened your coat around yourself, trying to reason, “I can’t get through to him. Just tell him I’m here. He’ll buzz me in, I swear”

He sighed, exasperated by your desperation. You were embarrassed, and shameful, but you didn’t know what else to do. If you went home now, you might cry till you threw up. You’d cry till it was dawn, and until you heard the morning traffic outside your apartment. The only thing stopping you from bawling right now was the watchful eyes of the people around you. 

You’re numb inside. You’re so, so confused.

None of it makes any sense, but your brain hurts just thinking about it.

It was so late, everybody was leaving the building, and you were the only one trying to get in. A female employee was buzzing out, pushing through the turnstiles. She looked between you and the doorman, “Something wrong?” 

The guard sighed, another indication of how less of a fuck he gave about you, “She says she knows an employee in the building, but she has no visitor pass”

You looked at her, “Can you please just tell him Y/N is here? He’ll understand”

Her gaze softened at the state of you, “What’s his name? I’ll see what I can do”

You told her… and then you waited. 

It was embarrassing to be standing there as hundreds of employees exited, eyeing you up, wondering why you were just standing there. The longer it took for him to come, the shakier you felt. Like you’d lose grip of yourself. It was getting chillier, and your insides hurt. 

Then you heard his voice. He basically yelled your name, rushing through the crowd of employees, a beeline straight to you, “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

He was like your angel — ashy blonde hair drifting against the air conditioning of the lobby, a red scarf wrapped around his neck. “Oh my god” You stepped ahead, but a silver turnstile separated you from touching him, “I tried calling you”

He placed his card against the scanner, opening the gate so you could enter.  There was no time to explain. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around your body. That was the thing you loved about Yeonjun the most. Hug first, questions later.

You buried your face in his neck, squeezing him, “I’m so sorry for just showing up, I needed to see you, Jun”

He pulled back to look at you, “I’m sorry my phone was on silent. I was working on a report, and I lost track of time”

The security guard was looking at the two of you, and he probably assumed you were a couple. He probably thought you were lovers, and if you were…everything might just have been easier. Yeonjun’s eyes narrowed in on your puffy, swollen eyes, “Wait. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Heat rushed to your cheeks. Had you overreacted by coming here? He must think it’s an emergency. You musthave overreacted. Your instinct made you apologise, “I’m sorry for coming here like this…”

He shook that thought away like it was nothing, “Come on. We’ll just grab my stuff, and then we can head home, all right?”

You let him lead you to the staff elevator, and he held on tightly to you through it all, which you appreciated. You didn’t want to be alone right now. You observed the office building that Yeonjun worked at. “Your building is…fancy” You mumbled, but your voice was hoarse, and you couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm.

“Yeah” He chuckled, glancing back at you, “Most companies are pretty serious about the security. There’s been a lot of data breaches recently so…”

“It was embarrassing to face off that guard. I thought he’d arrest me or something…by the way he was staring” 

Yeonjun laughed, “He’d never do that. He was probably just caught off guard by how pretty you look”

Your chest squeezed at his sudden compliment. You leaned forward, wrapping an arm around his stomach to indulge him in a back hug. It was a strange display of affection for the elevator. But Yeonjun said nothing of it, squeezing your arm, and craning his neck to smile at you.

“We’re here” He told you, and you stepped out into a quiet office floor. After a monotonous and mundane hallway with doors that all looked the same, you arrived at his cubicle. The floors were grey, the doors were dark, and the ceiling was industrial exposed. You’re not sure if this was the best place for comfort right now, but it was all you had. It was better than your empty, soulless apartment.

Yeonjun’s desk was cleaner than you expected, arranged with knick-knacks and clutter. A polaroid of you and him was pinned to the bulletin, next to one of him and Hana. Your eyes trailed across his entire workspace. There were only pictures of Hana.

You stilled.

“Um, I’m sorry. I still need to clean up” He muttered, ripping the polaroids off the wall, as if to show you that he didn’t care. But it was clear to you by how he carefully placed them inside the drawer. He was still in love with her.There was a lump in your throat at the realisation. He hadn’t told you that, and Yeonjun shared everything with you.

He shot you a sheepish smile, “I’m just gonna finish sending an email. You can sit down”

There was a single swivel chair at his desk. “What about you?” You asked.

“I’ve been meaning to get off my feet anyway” He smiled, as you sat down.

You felt like a kid, watching him send the emails, with nothing to do but sit in your thoughts. It was still better than being at home. Alone.

“Do you always work this late?” You asked him, after a while. There was nobody else on the floor.

He shook his head, “No…there was a problem at work, I had to stay longer to figure it out”

“Oh”

He forcefully pushed a button on his keyboard, then turned to you, “So are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

You swallowed, fiddling with the clutter on his desk, rehearsing what happened in your head, and every way sounded stupid. So you mumbled, “It’s not that…important, actually. I should head home”

Yeonjun shut his laptop with a snap. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the desk to look at you, “Come on. Was it not what you expected?”

“Hmm?”

“The art building. That’s why you went out tonight. Is it not as good as you imagined?”

“Oh” You belatedly realised that and held back a bitter laugh, “I didn’t even get to it”

“What? You couldn’t find it?”

“I found him, Jun” You mumbled, staring at your sneakers.

“Found who?” He asked, before the realisation sank in, “Wait, him… as in Hyunjin? How!?”

That was your question too. How did you bump into him out of everyone in this city?

“I…he happened to be at the store that I stopped to ask for directions”

Jun’s eyebrows furrowed, and he knelt to be at eye level with you, “What happened then?”

“He was with some girl”

Without hesitation he said, “His manager?”

Your lip was quivering as you spoke, but you couldn’t be this fucking weak, “Maybe. I don’t really know…”

“It had to be. Hyunjin wouldn’t do that to you”

His faith in him was undeniable, and you felt like you’d break his heart by revealing the rest of the incident to him.

“She probably was. It’s not that, Jun…he walked right past me…I couldn’t even talk to him”

Yeonjun shook his head, “Are you sure he saw you?”

You recalled the look in Hyunjin’s eyes as he dismissed you completely, and the pain in your chest doubled at the reminder, “He saw me.”

“You’re sure?”

You looked at him, eyes filling with tears, “I’m sure.”

Yeonjun recoiled like a shotgun, standing up straight, and you weren’t expecting the immediate anger in his tone, “Why the fuck would he do that?”

You chewed on your lip, hoping it’d stop shaking, wishing you knew the answer to his question, “I don’t know”

“He didn’t even give you his new number?”

A sob built up in your throat, and your head was beginning to pain, “You’re not listening. He ignored me to my face, Jun. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe it was something I said…all those months ago”

“You could never” He scoffed, “It was because of the woman he was with. Hyunjin’s probably not allowed to just talk to someone in public”

“You really think so?”

Yeonjun didn’t even look a little bit worried. He had his hands on his hips, “What else would it be, Y/N? He’d never ignore you. I don’t understand…”

You swallowed, trying to not cry, “Yeah. I just…had to see you. A few months ago, when his number changed, I was really hoping that when I came to the city, I could find him and fix things. There’s no way he’d do that on purpose. Of all people in the world, Hyunjin would never just cut me off without an explanation but…” You sniffled, “He wasn’t even happy to see me there. He just looked fucking disappointed. Like I made a mistake moving here, even though he all of people—” Your voice broke, “he, all of people knows how much I wanted to come here”

“Babe, please don’t cry” Yeonjun reached out, his thumb wiping away a tear. It was futile since you could already taste the salt on your lips.

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen, “He talked about how he missed me, I just don’t understand. Like, what even happened?”

“Come here” Yeonjun hugged you, and his t-shirt muffled your cries. He rubbed circles on your back, and you were thankful the floor was vacated, because you felt so stupid crying over a boy. Was Hyunjin even thinking about you right now? He had always hated seeing you cry, and now he was the entire reason for it.

You tightened your grip around him, “I’m sorry I’m ruining your tonight, Jun”

“Y/N” He frowned, pulling back to look at you, “Don’t ever say that again”

“Sorry…”

He looked upset and wiped the traces of tears off your lips, “Stop apologising too. This isn’t your fault”

You nodded, holding him still, “Can I please stay in your apartment tonight? I don’t want to go to my place right now”

He smiled, grabbing your bag off his desk, “I’ve told you before. You’ll always have a bed at my apartment, Y/N” He frowned suddenly, remembering something, “Um…I do have to warn you about something though…”

Maybe it was a mistake coming here. Right across Yeonjun’s apartment window, was a picture of Hyunjin. The billboard was huge, and he was plastered all over it. You almost didn’t recognise him at first. He looked like…a star.

His hair was perfectly in place, and sunglasses were pushed up to his head, like he was the protagonist of some action movie.

“You weren’t kidding about it being huge” You commented, watching from his bedroom.

He came to stand next to you, fiddling with the curtains, “I was hoping they’d change it soon, but Pegasus is pretty good at promoting the band. Downtown, they’re on almost every billboard”

At least now you knew you wouldn’t be going Downtown anymore. It was ironic that Hyunjin was everywhere in the city but out of reach for you. If that woman really was his manager, and he wasn’t allowed to even talk to you in public…then Hyunjin’s life was even tougher than you could have imagined.

Being famous must fucking suck, and being in love with someone famous was…soul-crushing.

“Anyway” He cleared his throat, “I ordered us some Chinese food”

You crossed your arms, you hadn’t realised you were starving, “Thank you, Jun…"

Yeonjun just smiled in return, leading you away from the bedroom window before pulling the curtains on the view. You were glad, because if he didn’t pull you away now, you’re afraid you’d stare at that picture for the rest of your life.

»»————-

The Atelier of the Arts was beautiful. 

It was everything you could have imagined, and more. It’s where you’re supposed to spend the next two years of your life. The facade of the building was built almost entirely out of glass, resembling high-end universities you’d only seen in the movies. You felt minuscule in front of the scale and the grandeur of it. Being in Seoul for a few weeks now…you’d realised it was all about towering glass and steel structures, weaved in between all of the imperial history. You just wish you could appreciate it more right now.

A girl at the front desk thankfully told you where to go, and you carefully navigated the hallways until you were at the top floor.

You stared at what was meant to be your classroom. Sunlight cascaded through a transparent glass rooftop, casting a beautiful glow on the plants. 

You only see green. There were plants of all kinds, flowers of every color and the air smelled sweet. It smelled citrusy, and like the drink Hyunjin made you on his last night. 

The door was made of glass too, a brass knob sparkling against the sunlight.

You must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. This isn’t an art studio. 

It’s a greenhouse.

Before you had time to retrace your steps, a girl interrupted you, “You’re not lost”

“I’m sorry?”

“Kim Jieong’s new student, right?” She asked, tilting her head at you. 

You wonder what it is about you that gave you away. Was it the clothes? Or maybe it’s the bag you’re clutching tightly to your chest, sketchbook peeking out from within it. You’re joining in the middle of an ongoing semester, so you already stood out. “Yeah” You managed to say.

She smiled, proud to have got it correct, “You’re at the right place. The room’s just through there, after the hydrangeas. I’m going in now, if you wanna follow me”

She couldn’t be much older than you, and she’s so well put together. 

Her accent was different, like she’s been born and bred in Seoul her whole life. She enunciated everything, frankly, in a way better to you. A denim skirt hung to her ankles, revealing Converse at her feet. Her hair was dirty blonde, tied up perfectly in place, and an amethyst choker sat at her collarbones.

You wonder if you’re underdressed on your first day of class. The creme cardigan you’re in is soft, and it’s comforting to your soul, but it’s not impressive. You found it in a thrift shop in Daejon; perhaps this is a sign you should go shopping here. You’re leading a new life, and you need clothes to match.

The girl was waiting for you to enter, but you’re not ready.

Kim Jieong has been your inspiration for as long as you can remember. He’s painted the most beautiful things known to you — expressing emotions you didn’t even know you had. The fact that he’s beyond those glass doors right now…you’re not ready. Yes…you’ve waited literally all your life, but you never thought it’d actually come to this. You wish you had someone to share this anticipation and excitement with, but all you have is your studio apartment, and its bare, dry walls. You’re trying to be positive, but somedays it feels impossible

A boy stepped through the elevator doors, and his eyes scrambled over your faded creme cardigan, and bag. You’re new here, and he’s clearly not. You can tell from the ease with which he carries himself, and by the way he looks like a picture-perfect rendition of an artist. If you searched “art student” on Pinterest, you’re pretty sure his picture would come up. He’s dressed in denim suspenders, expensive headphones hanging around his neck, paintbrushes tucked into his pockets.

“Hey” He smiled at you, “Are you… the student from Daejon?”

You nodded, holding your bag tighter on your shoulder, happy that he knew of your existence. You’d feared until the last minute that you getting in to the program had been another mess-up, and once you arrived…they’d tell you it was a mistake.

He tilt his head, “What’s your monogram?”

Your monogram. The initials you sign all your paintings with. You tell him your name, “Um…Y/N”

“Oh” He frowned, “I can’t remember if I’ve seen your work”

That’s because he hasn’t. You’ve never had a public exhibition, so how would he recognise you?

“Come on, you can get to know her later” The girl rolled her eyes at him, then looked at you, “Are you coming in…or are we going to chat here the rest of today?”

They didn’t tell you their names, even though you just told them yours. You should ask, but wouldn’t that come off too eager? 

“Yeah. Sure” You forced a smile at her, and the girl’s face softened at that. It’s like she wasn’t expecting you to do that, like she expected you to be soulless and cold. 

Tentatively, you stepped through the glass door, into the greenhouse-cum-studio. It’s like stepping in a fairytale, navigating through all the plants that jut out, magnificent fantastical flowers you haven’t seen even in the countryside. You reached out and touched a purple flower, the petals are coarse but the flower looked so soft.

You were walking on a metal walkway, a bridge over a little artificial stream. It reminded you so much of Daejon, it’s kind of funny that you’re actually thousands of miles away.

“Crazy place for a classroom, right?” The boy laughed. It’s like he read your mind.

You nodded, “I thought I was at the wrong place”

“You’ll get used to it” The girl looked over her shoulder to tell you. You’re standing between them, as they escort you to your class. 

“The hydrangeas” She muttered, pointing to a set of purple flowers as you pass them.

As if stepping into Narnia, the plants suddenly cleared up, revealing a room. It’s big, and there’s an assortment of chairs, tables, easels, shelves, and paint. There’s so much to take in. You watched with wide eyes, and the boy laughed.

“It’s cool, right?” He asked you.

“Yeah” You breathed, “You could say that”

There were already a few students sitting at their easels, but they were too distracted setting up their paints to look up and notice you. 

“Um, what are your names?” You ended up asking. Fuck being eager.

“I’m Minnie and that’s Jeonghan” She told you.

“No, I’m Nate. Nobody calls me Jeonghan except my mum” He rolled his eyes.

“Nate” You repeated, “Are you—”

“American? Yes he is, and feel free to call him Jeonghan…” Minnie finished your sentence, as she walked over to her easel.

He laughed, “I moved back to Korea a few years ago to study”

The room filled with people within seconds. There are not too many of you, just twenty, it’s an exclusive program after all. You looked around at the people who are supposed to be your classmates for the next few years. They all looked a little older than you and like they know their way around everything. 

There’s only one unmarked empty stool in the corner, and it must be yours. After all, this internship was so exclusive, there wasn’t any space for extras. You took your place, opening up your supplies onto the little table. The stool was comfortable and had a plush back, so you wouldn’t kill your back when you were painting. It was already infinitely better than your set-up at home.

Minnie and Jeonghan took their places too, settling into a comfortable rhythm. Your other classmates greeted them with big smiles, but obviously…they didn’t look at you. 

You’d never moved a day in your life, so this was unfamiliar — not knowing anyone in the room, and everything being new. But change was supposed to be good, right? You’d grown tired of stagnation, and so you’d chased this. Perhaps you could try conversing with the girls next to you, but where would you even start? They all knew each other from before. Why would they want to talk to a stranger?

A girl was giggling, settling into her chair, with two other friends, and they were teasing her about something but you don’t know the context. There was a cute boy across from you, and he was setting up his paints. He had earphones in, and was humming to the beat of an unknown song. He glanced up at you absentmindedly, but when your eyes met, your heart stung. 

You were trying desperately to not think of Hyunjin.

But you’ve only been here for five minutes and you see Hyunjin in everything around you. 

He would fall in love with this place — with the sunlight hitting the wooden boards, with how open it was, and he would probably know the name of every flower here. After all, he had to know to put them in pretty drinks to give to girls like you. 

A student sitting opposite you had bleached hair, and she pulled it up into a bun and you thought of him again. Nothing could compare how it felt to card your fingers through his hair, and tug at it when he kissed you. You’d braided it back in his room, and it had been so soft to the touch, slipping through your fingers like sand. 

“Hey” Someone tapped on your shoulder, and you pulled yourself out of the hopeless trench of daydreaming about him. You noticed her chunky platform boots first, and then you looked up at her, “Uh, hey”

“You’re the girl from the south?”

It was heartwarming that she started the conversation with you. You smiled, “Yeah. I’m from Daejon—”

“You’re in my spot”

“Sorry?”

“That’s my spot” She repeated, pointing at your seat.

“Oh” You realised. You’d already opened up your bag of supplies so you hurriedly grabbed your sketchbook, shoving it in your tote bag carelessly. Your paintbrushes dropped in the process, rolling off the table, and you wanted to die. Was it possible to be such a fucking cliche and embarrass yourself like this on the first day of class?

The girl made no move to help you, but you shouldn’t expect her to either. You stood up, holding the bag to your chest, and realised you had no place to sit anymore.

Before you could panic about the situation, someone else in the room caught your attention.

Kim Jieong was here.

He was standing in the centre, and you don’t know how the fuck you didn’t notice him until now. He must have just come in. 

You stood starstruck, at the worst time possible. He was in a beanie, and a thick coat. He had black-rimmed glasses on, and a slight scruff. He looked like all the pictures you’d seen of him, but better than you even imagined – the right mix of pretention and whimsical.

He was the embodiment of art and of inspiration. 

The little girl in you was screaming. 

You were transported back to the first painting you ever saw by him. It was in a magazine that Felix had stolen for you off the library racks. As kids, you and Felix had sat on his bedroom floor, flipping through the glossy pages. On the last page though, there was a painting of a lighthouse, with surrealistic waves hitting the shore. There was no article or editorial. Just that picture, with a name on the bottom. Kim Jieong, 2006. You’d ripped the page out, and kept it safe with you, before returning the magazine. You’d felt no guilt then, because it was the most beautiful art you’d seen then.

Kim Jieong, your favorite artist in history, was a real fucking person.  He was real, and he was looking at you.

The corner of his lip tilted up, “Hey”

Hey.

You’re going to fucking pass out.

He was talking to you. He knew you existed. “Um, hi” Your voice came out softer than it was, and you hope he couldn’t see the stars in your eyes. 

“Can I help you…?”

You could feel the eyes of everyone on you, and you gripped onto your sketchbook tighter, “I’m…the new student”

His eyes widened, “You’re Y/N…?”

He knew your name?

Now he was the one who looked caught off guard, “Shit, I’m sorry I completely forgot you’re coming in today. Nate, can you please help Y/N get a spare stool and easel?”

Nate, the boy you’d met before, smiled, “Of course I can”

Your earlier embarrassment slowly eased. Professor Jieong stepped to you with a poise that only masterminds possessed, “Be honest… Did you have any trouble finding this room? Most students do”

“No, I was just confused because…it’s not really a conventional classroom”

Jieong laughed, “Well, if you liked conventional things, you wouldn’t be here”

“You’re right” You smiled.

He pointed to a corner, “There’s your seat. I’m putting you next to Nate. He can help you out the first week. Even though it’s your first day, don’t worry I’m not going to make you talk about yourself in front of the class or anything like that. I know how much people your age hate that”

You smiled at that, relieved, and finally sat down at what was to be your place for the future. The view from here was so pretty, through the parted indoor trees, you could look out into the city. There were floor-to-ceiling windows sprawled out, and the sun was in your eyes, but you didn’t mind. It must get really hot in the summer, but right now it’s the cusp of winter, and so it was perfect.

“So, how are you liking Seoul, Y/N?” Jieong asked you, stepping in the way, shielding your gaze from the light. It was so early in the morning, but he was full of so much of vigour. You wish you could have energy to match him right now, but lately you just feel drained.

You smiled up at him, observing how the rays formed a halo around his head, “It’s all right…I, uh, I really love the food here.” 

Jieong paced across the room, making sure to look at each student, and there was so much comfort in his stance, as he talked to you, “I know you’re joining in the middle of this semester Y/N, and everything is going to feel very jarring. Usually, people get an intro class and some icebreakers so… don’t be afraid to ask me stuff, okay? There’s no stupid questions in here, right?”

“Debatable” Nate mumbled loudly next to you.

“That’s not what you said when I asked about the color combos last week” The girl with bleached hair chimed in. 

Jieong grinned, putting his hands on his hips as he came to a stop in the centre, “Haha. Don’t try so hard to make me look bad in front of the new girl”’

You laughed, “Don’t worry about it”

Jieong grinned at you, and you were still reeling from his attention as he talked, “We’re going to start on a new project for the next couple of weeks. I have a couple of field trips planned but today we are just going to explore some basic anatomy, okay?”

There was nothing more to be said. Everybody fell into a rhythm, and Jieong wasn’t even speaking anymore, but he filled the room with his presence. He had such a strong personality and clearly had a good rapport with all his students. You were looking forward to get to know him. 

This was such a beautiful room, and you had only been here a few minutes, but you were endlessly inspired. It reminded you of Aera’s, filling you with so much creative energy, you were bursting at the seams. You hoped that this emotion wouldn’t be lost on you. This was the first genuine excitement you’d felt since….since what happened in the shop. 

It’s been a few days, or a few weeks, you can’t really tell. Yet you play it in your head over and over again, trying to connect the dots. You give up every time, because nothing justifies what happened that night, and you don’t realise that most of your sleepless nights in this city pass by…just like that.

»»————-

There were good days, and bad days.

There was a separation between the art studio, and the rest of your life. In the studio, you were content, because you were distracted. At home…was another story.

Your apartment was a blank canvas, and as the weeks passed, you breathed life into each corner. The walls filled up slowly with the new artwork you created, with your works in progress from the apprenticeship. There were a few plants in your room to remind you of Daejon’s lushness.

You immersed yourself in the whirlwind of city life. Seoul sucked you in deep. You found a bakery you like, a grocery store you frequent, an art shop that fed your supplies. 

It’s strange, to have good days, but nobody to share it with. It feels pointless to be excited about something but having to keep it to yourself.

You were still teetering on the edge, you hadn’t visited nightclubs or bars — you found no time between the classes. The people at the apprenticeship were talented, in a way that made you doubt yourself but push harder. You tried to talk to the people around you, but you only saw them in classes, and your friendships didn’t exist beyond those canvases.

It was hard to make friends in the city. You hadn’t predicted the isolation that would come with moving here. Jeongin and you would occasionally bump into you at the stairwell, and that would be the most of your social interaction. You made time to meet Yeonjun each weekend, and he helped you buy some basic furniture for your apartment; a coffee table, a dresser, a mirror. They even helped you carry your new mattress up the stairs, and you invited them in that night for some wine, as a thank you.

You liked to think that you’ve settled into a routine as you washed the dishes in your new home, listening to the hum of the city traffic. In the quiet evenings that you spend with yourself, you drifted into daydreams and thought about him, but you stopped yourself before the longing gets too bad. 

Your apartment is so small. There’s no space in your life to be sad. 

You’re supposed to be living your dream after all.

»»————-

The sun in the art studio never bothered you. Instead, felt warm on your skin, energizing you.You attempted to channel the beauty of the room into each pencil stroke. It was hard to focus on your art, sketching out a few basics as your professor talked over a few prompts. This was only the beginning, so you were taking it slow. It felt like it had been ages since you drew, and your skills were getting rustic. 

When everyone was busy and distracted, Jieong came to you. “Doing okay, Y/N?” His voice was low to not disturb the other students, and you nodded.

“I’m good…just trying to get the hang of things”

“I understand” He smiled, and he was bent over to speak to you, “You’ll soon figure out the pattern. We experiment every class and you’re free to work on whatever medium you want. Don’t think of this as an art lesson, okay? It’s…refining your existing skills”

You smiled, “Yeah. I know I missed a few but I’m excited for the rest of the classes. I feel like I’ve hit a roadblock…with my own work, I end up only making the same kind of paintings every time”

Jieong nodded, like he’d heard this a million times, “But that’s exactly what I’m here for, okay? You can talk to me about anything you want. There’s also going to be a couple of field trips this semester, and you can meet some other mentors. In case you realise you hate my methods”

You laughed, continuing to sketch away, “I doubt that’s possible. I…I’m looking forward to those though”

“And not to sound too forward but…you look like you haven’t slept in a week, kid” He commented, with a chuckle, but there was no malice in his tone. Just a genuine observation.

“I haven’t” You admitted.

“Nervous?”

If nervous and heartbroken were the same emotion. Then yes, you were more nervous than anything. You settled and said, “This just means a lot to me” 

“What brought you to Seoul, if you don’t mind me…asking? Did your parents move here, or a boyfriend or somebody?” 

“Just looking for a change…” You said. It would be too much to tell him that you’d looked up to him half your life, and had worked your ass off the entire summer to get here….That you’d been willing to lose your friendships for this and that there was nothing in Seoul for you except this….It would be crazy to tell him that in the end, a boy had convinced you to be selfish and come here.

His lips curled up, oblivious to your internal worries, “A change? You’re in the right place then, sweetheart”

Sweetheart. You looked up at him, with obvious adoration in your gaze. Kim Jieong just called you sweetheart.

He reached out, to pat your back, “It can’t be easy moving, but I hope you know you made the right decision. If you’re looking for change…this is the place to be, and I’m really looking forward to know you and your art better. I can promise you that you’re going to be very happy here, Y/N”

You’re smiling, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. Maybe you needed the reassurance that coming here and uprooting your entire life wasn’t a mistake. It had felt all too much like that after Hyunjin’s disappointed encounter – making you feel that you should’ve just stayed where you were. 

You’d pined for this place for so long, yet you already missed your little hometown and your life there, because things with him were better back home.

It will take time to get better. It’s only the first day.

The weight of his words sank in, and you suddenly felt teary-eyed. There’s been a void in your heart for the longest time. You thought coming here would fill it up, but even as you’re painting in your dream class with your favourite artist, your heart feels dead. 

You ought to be insane to not be grateful. Seoul was the only thing you ever wanted, but maybe it’s time for you to admit that…wishes change. Dreams change.

A lump builds up in your throat at the horrible realisation that maybe, the only thing that can fill the void in your being was Hyunjin. 

»»————-

Today, you were drawing from life.

There was a model in front of you, and amongst all the plants, she looked like a siren plucked from the pages of an ancient Greek legend. She was sat on a barstool, dressed in a tight lace outfit. You focused on the detailing of her lingerie as you paint it into your canvas. Surprisingly, you’d never drawn anatomy from life before, you’d never ventured into that skill much.

Her set was made entirely of lace — thin flowers covering the chest, overlapping with vines and the model blends into the room's atmosphere. She looked beautiful in muted pastel colours, and you wish you could own a piece like that. You’ve found some time to revamp your wardrobe, and when you wear prettier clothes, you feel like you’re reinventing yourself. 

Daejon was usually always humid, so you never experimented with patterns, layers, and textures. It was the same skirts, the same tank tops, and sweatpants that you circulated through, and it was okay because your life was the same there everyday. Here…you’re trying to be different. 

Nate brought you out of your train of thought. He was poking a pencil in your leg, to get your attention, and you looked up at him. He was grinning, hair swept back. He’s handsome, in a conventional sense anyway, but you don’t let yourself think further than that. There’s no point.

You glanced at his canvas and he’s halfway through his portrait already. Somehow, he’s made the model look even more ethereal in person.

“Could I borrow the green swatch?” He asked, eyeing the watercolours you have in front of you. You’ve bought a lot of new art supplies, and it was quite frankly, a humbling experience. Everything is so much more expensive here, but the apprenticeship gives you some money for supplies, and you’re already halfway through it. The watercolour palette though, is your favourite. It’s Winsor & Netwon. In fact, it’s the same one you used the night of the Paint and Wine event at the Chateau.

“Of course” You told Nate, and handed him the palette. He dipped his brush right into it, taking away some green paint. Everybody around you was quiet, in a deep concentration as they worked on their pieces. Kim Jieong was circulating the classroom, hands on his hips as he observed every student. He stopped every few minutes, to help out, or give advice. 

It’s been some time, but you still felt starstruck around him. Some charms never fade. 

You’ve had little time to observe yet but it was obvious from day one - He’s insanely cool, and he teaches art in a way that makes you so grateful to be his student. He sees the world differently than you, and you’re in desperate need for that perspective. You’re tired of only seeing things your way.

So, you obviously immediately stop painting as he soon as he comes near you. You’re embarrassed as his eyes catch progress of your painting. You’re far behind the others.

“How’s that going?” He asked, in a hushed whisper to not divert attention off the class.

You dipped your paintbrush in water, letting it soak through, “I think…it’s okay”

Jieong frowned, just slightly, looking over your canvas. He had a pair of glasses pushed over his head and he slipped them back on, leaning in to look at your strokes. You’re self-conscious, rightfully, and you held your breath as he analyses the painting.

“Your strokes are very…careful” He looked back at you, “Like you’re afraid of making a mark on the paper”

You gulped, “I…sorry”

His eyebrows shot up, and he removed the glasses, keeping them on your desk. “Mind if I sit next to you, Y/N?” 

You nodded, and you’re ready to hear the end of it. He pulled up an abandoned stool, scooting close to you. You pulled your hands into your lap, and faced him.

He gets right to it, “All the work that I’ve seen of yours in the portfolio you submitted. You were usually more confident. Is something bothering you these days?”

So much is bothering you, yet none of it is an excuse. 

You haven’t come this far, just to slack off. You haven’t paid so much just to be average. You haven’t dreamt so long just to be careful. You’re holding back.

“No…nothing’s bothering me” You lied, manifesting that it will soon be the truth.

Jieong frowned at your blatant lie, because he’s obviously older and wiser and therefore he knows everything. “You’ve been getting enough sleep now?” 

There’s no point in hiding the truth. It’s more embarrassing to be caught in a lie, “Actually, not really…my place is still new to me. I’m still getting used to the bed, my room…the traffic. Where I’m from, it’s always quieter at night. I…also miss my friends”

Jieong smiled at your words, “Is that all? Because if so, then I’m not worried. You’ll settle in soon, and the loud traffic will soon fall on deaf ears”

“I know” You nod, you’re trying to be positive, “It’s just taking some time”

He nodded, and you think he’ll leave but says, “Have you visited any museums yet? Or been around the city?”

You’re conscious again, because everybody else is painting the model, yet you feel like a kid being reprimanded by their teacher.

“I haven’t had much time. I’ve tried to improve my skills at home”

“You’re in a metro city, Y/N. You should let yourself be inspired. I’m not asking you to go out and get drunk—” He laughed, “But maybe the trick is to tire yourself out so much during the day, you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow”

You forced a smile, but it’s hard when he’s looking right at you, “You’re right. I should do that”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your painting” He apologised, “You can continue”

You nodded, picking up the paintbrush but you’re shaking. He’s still sitting beside you, and his observant gaze terrifies you. You feel like you’re ten years old again, trying to be perfect in art class.

His hand landed on your shoulder, “Don’t be nervous”

The fact that he’s caught on to you being nervous is embarrassing, and you decide to say, “It’s hard not to be. I’ve looked up to your art my whole life”

He smiled, in your peripheral vision, “Is that so?” He looked proud, the smile reaches his eyes, and you nodded to confirm.

You and him haven’t had too many personal conversations yet. He’s close to everyone else in class but you‘re still getting to know each other. So, he still has no idea what he means to you. He had kind eyes, and the way he carries himself makes him seem much younger than he is. He’s trying to put you at ease, and you feel slightly grateful. He didn’t need to do this, or come here.

“I went to your exhibition in Jeju” You told him.

His eyes lit up, “Is that how you heard about this program? I remember my team was handing out flyers for this program there”

“Yup, I went with my best friend. Well, I sort of dragged him there, but I’m glad I did because I saw the flyers. I never thought I’d actually get in here though”

“Yet here you are” He hummed, “At the fear of not sounding narcissistic, can I ask you what your favourite piece was?”

You smiled, “You’re one of the greatest living artists. I think you’re allowed to be a little narcissistic”

At your words, he laughed. It’s so loud that it catches the attention of the students next to you. Though they’re used to his magnanimous personality, they turn away soon enough.

“You’re too sweet” He told you.

“My favourite piece…” You trailed off, and you’re replaying the exhibition in your head. You had dragged Felix around every hallway, and he’d complained throughout. Your thoughts are overtaken by something else though. At the pool all those weeks away… you’d talked about this in detail with Hyunjin, the night you told him about your rejection. The night you sat with your feet dipped in the water, the night he touched you and told you how he’d tangibly changed you. He couldn’t have known in that moment, how right he was. You can feel the ghost of his touch on your fingers, on your lips, your thighs.

Jieong must have noticed the fall in your expression because he tilt his head, “Everything all right?”

“I’m sorry. I was…just trying to remember” You can’t let thoughts of Hyunjin paralyse you. 

“That’s okay” He said, simply.

“My favourite was Celestial Fatality” You said, “How…did you even come up with it?” You’d theorised this with Hyunjin…but now you could actually get some answers.

Jieong seemed surprised, “That’s a pretty morbid painting to love, Y/N”

“It’s beautiful though. It reminds me of the legend of Icarus”

“What do you like about it?” He leaned forward, and your heart jumped. He actually cares, and wants to know your opinion. The thought of it is crazy and makes you a little dizzy.

“It’s a cautionary tale…the pair of lovers drowning in moonlight, swallowed up in their own…hubris. They were probably told to stay away from each other, yet at the risk of their mortality, they still met”

Jieong seemed almost impressed, “You seem like a romantic person”

It’s a strange thing for him to say to you, in the middle of a Wednesday class. But he’s your favourite artist, and he’s absolutely right. For a romantic person, you’ve surely never had any good relationships to account for it though.

You shook your head, “I’m really not. I just like that painting. Something about it feels close to home. It’s almost like I can feel the pain of their mistake…of choosing each other over anything else in the world, even if that ends in their perishing…”

His lip curled up into a smile, “Fascinating”

Your chest felt heavy, but it feels so good to talk about this with him, “I hope one day I can create something with as much impact as that. I want to tell stories that linger, I think there’s a long time till that though…I mean I’m struggling with basic anatomy,. I guess I just need to get better….”

“I’ve only known you a few weeks, Y/N, but can I tell you something?”

“Hmm?”

He reached out, smiling warmly, “You’re way too hard on yourself. You’re in one of the greatest cities in the world. Live a little, kid”

»»————-

It had been just two weeks, but you’ve developed a habit. Every evening after class, you find yourself organising the canisters on the shelves.

“Should we be paying you for this?” Nate asked, stepping over to you. You don’t talk much in class, and when you do, it’s always in passing, like this. Right now, he had a bag slung over his shoulder, while he bit into an apple, the juice dripping down his chin. You wish you had more energy to put into your friendships right now but making new connections has felt so draining. You’d been too dependent on Yeonjun, but he can’t always be there.

He looked silly, eating fruit here, but you laughed, “I hope you’re joking”

“No, because why are you putting all of them in that order?” He asked, another crunch reverberated through the studio as he bit into it again.

“I actually worked in an art shop my whole life. Old habits…” You shrugged, looking at him.

“You’re kidding me” Minnie said, stepping up, “That explains it”

“Explains what?” You turned to them.

“Your desk is always so…strangely clean” She said. You don’t know her well too, but you love how she dresses. You love how she pours herself into her clothes, and expresses through them. She’s always wearing chunky jewellery, flowing skirts, corsets. Her art style is similar to it. It’s loud but dainty at the same time. 

“I’m gonna presume that’s a compliment” You laughed, picking up your sketchbook. “Can we get going, Nate, please?” Minnie asked him. 

“See you Monday” You smiled at them, turning to finish packing your things.

Nate looked at you over his shoulder, “Actually… You got any plans after class?”

You looked between them, “Not really, I was planning on brushing up on my anatomy. Why?”

Nate rolled his eyes, and he almost reminds you of Minho in this moment, “Even though that sounds like the bestFriday night ever…We’re going to this new bar that opened up. You wanna come with?”

Minnie jumped forward, eyes lighting up, “Shit, yeah! I think you might really like it. The whole place is themed like a post-apocalyptic nuclear bunker. Very cool”

“What?” You laughed, walking over to them with your bag, “That sounds really unique, but I don’t really want to intrude on your plan”

Nate stepped forward, offering his hand to you, “Your anatomy can wait till Monday morning. You’ve been in Seoul a few weeks, don’t you want to explore the cool shit already?”

“Are you sure?”

“We have an extra ticket anyway” Minnie suggested. They’ve never asked you to hang out with them before like this. You wonder what it was about today that made them try. 

You stared at his hand, outstretched to you. No inspiration was going to strike from you just sitting in your studio apartment every night. They were right, and you slipped your fingers in his. He smiled brightly…and that just happened to be the night you made your first friends in the city.

And…Nate had a lot of friends. 

You realised as much when you’re sitting at the booth, squished between Minnie and him, staring at a bunch of young adults you don’t know. 

They’re fun, and they’re on their fifth tequila shot of the night. In another life, this might have been your teenage years too. Attending Seoul University, having friends from affluent neighbourhoods, weekend nights out at the bar. Alas, everyone at this table is worth more than the average person’s income in Daejon, and the only cheap bar in your small town was run by an old creep.

Minnie handed you another tequila shot, her hand resting on your thigh. She’s very handsy and you don’t mind.

There’s been a few rounds of getting to know each other. You’re the new one, so you kind of feel like the baby of the group, even though they’re all older than you. Most of them came from America, but their Korean is so good you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Nate has attractive friends. Ha-ru, Renjun, Lily, Jamie. But none of them hold a candle to the boy you’re desperately trying not to think about. 

You came straight to this bar after class, so you had no time to change out of your paint-tattered clothes. Thankfully, you’re wearing the leather jacket Yeonjun bought you, and it does a great job of keeping you warm. Admittedly, his friends aren’t too dressed up either. They all came from work too, and you once again realise that life here is so different from Daejon. There’s no time for frolicking, or lounging around in diners and swimming in Creeks. Everybody’s working their ass off, to afford the lifestyle that Seoul asks for, the lifestyle you always killed for. 

“So, what brought you to this city, Y/N?” One of his friends asked you. It’s the only question you get asked these days. The most interesting thing about you is your newness, but they’re outgoing, so you’re not surprised at them making all these attempts to get to know you.

“Where do I start?” You joked, reaching for your drink, “I moved here from a little town near the mountains”

Your glass was tinted red, to match the theming of the bar. It’s a fancy place, and all the decor makes you feel like you’re underground. Even the bouncers are dressed up in what look like radioactive suits, for the whole nuclear bunker vibe.

Everything around you is neon. The tables, the lights, the dance floor. Each one of Nate’s friends has a neon necklace around their neck, and glow sticks as bracelets. You’ve seen those accessories in the movies, but you’ve never been to a party with them. Minnie made you a purple and blue glow-stick bracelet, and slipped it on your wrist a while ago. You’re fiddling with it as you talk to their friends. 

“Ah, a small town girl” One of his friends, Renjun, laughed, but you’re not offended. It’s true, after all.

“Why would you willingly choose the life path of a struggling artist?” Jamie asked. She’s cute. Her hair is dyed bright red, so you already like her.

You laughed, “A silly dream”

“What’s your dream?” Nate asked, squeezing your shoulder. You realised his arm is around you, and has been for a while. He smells nice, and so you let it linger. Even now, his huge headphones hang off his neck. He never goes anywhere without them, and you’re proud of yourself for picking up little habits and quirks in such less time already. 

Everybody has different reasons to be an artist, so you tell them yours, “I don’t know…I’ve been painting since I was a kid, but I think I’m ready to finally share my art with the world? That’s assuming other people would want to see it, but I guess I want to reach a point in my life where I’m proud of what I created, and hopefully I can inspire others. Also…because if I don’t become an artist, I have no idea what the hell I’ll do. It feels like the only thing I really enjoy doing”

It’s far too intense, and serious an answer for this bar, but Nate’s friends listened kindly. They smiled as you talked. It felt a little lame, sure. It also feels unachievable, but Minnie grinned, and pat your thigh, “I mean….wow, you’re halfway there! You made it to Jieong’s studio”

She’s right. You’ve been sad and moping this whole time, and you decide that tonight needs to be the night you want things to change. After what Jieong told you earlier today, you deserve a little fun, enough fun for the sirens and the traffic to become your lullaby as you fall asleep.

“But why Seoul? You have enough talent to make it to Paris” Jamie asked. She has piercings too, and you get distracted by how well they complimented her.

“I’d have to live on the streets” You bite your cheek. Maybe they can’t relate because they’re so much more well-off, but Nate laughed, and said, “Isn’t that an artist’s rite of passage?”

You smiled, and downed the last of your drink. 

“Well, since you’re one of us now. Here’s your honorary tiara!” Jamie said, handing you a neon golden tiara across the table. You grabbed it, placing it atop your head and Minnie clicked a picture of you, joking about you being a princess from humble beginnings. Her words slur a bit, and you’ve been here more than an hour, so it explains why everybody’s already tipsy.

The dance floor was absolutely full, and there’s couples grinding on each other. There are so many pretty girls, and attractive guys surrounding them. Girls in tight dresses with no care in the world, and boys trying to flirt to catch their attention. There’s probably someone falling in love right this second, in this very bar, and you’re people-watching for a while. Everybody’s neon accessories are glowing in the blacklights, and it’s a beautiful scene, straight out of a movie.

When you tune back into the conversation, Jamie’s telling the group about some jerk at her workplace today, and you try to follow her story, except you’ve already lost the context. It’s probably the lack of sleep and all the alcohol in your veins.

You don’t have to try for long though since Renjun interrupted it, “Shit, is that Baekhyun?” 

The name is familiar, and you all craned your heads to see who he’s pointing out. 

There’s a well-dressed man at the far end of the bar, and he’s indulging in tequila shots, with two girls by his side. He’s beautiful, and he has silver hair.

“Who he is?” You asked, but you already know. Hyunjin has mentioned a Baekhyun before…and you’ve grown up hearing about him on television too, but this can’t possibly be him.

“A singer” Jamie said.

“Oh. He’s…the Baekhyun?” You dropped your voice. It felt weird talking about him when he’s right there, “Isn’t he like… a superstar?”

Nate nodded, “He’s one of the top, yeah. Even my mum’s obsessed with him. Why are you so surprised? Never seen an idol in the wild?”

If only he knew…

You craned your neck to see Baekhyun making out with the girl at the bar, tongue and all. “I didn’t know they can be so open…” You frowned, unable to comprehend the scene before you.

“Why wouldn’t they? He’s like twenty five. I know you’re not from the city but you’re not that old fashioned, are you?” Nate laughed.

You shook your head, but the little movement hurts you because you’re tipsy too, “No, it’s not that. I just thought…aren’t they prohibited from all of that? The drinking and everything…in public”

Minnie laughed, “Come on, you don’t seriously believe that Y/N”

It wasn’t just your belief. It’s what Hyunjin had told you, time and time again. His reputation was more important than anything, and his company would never let it be tarnished. Indulging in things like this…would definitely alter public perception of him. 

“Well…they’re like super controlled by their companies” You told them. This was one thing you knew more than them. You’d heard first-hand accounts of it.

“Yeah, but none of them follow those rules” Nate laughed, and he’s drawing circles on your shoulder as he speaks, “Every single idol I know is like a sex freak”

“To put it kindly: they fuck like bunnies” Jamie clarified, “All that pent up frustration. Plus they’re all hot, and spend all their time together. It’s only natural”

“But…they’re not allowed to date publicly” You spoke, yet it came out more as a question.

Nate shrugged, “Still. They’re a bunch of horny twenty year olds, Y/N. You can’t be that naive”

“I’m not” You defended, “I just thought…Someone told me that… it’s really looked down upon, that they could get kicked out of the company”

Renjun leaned forward, jutting his head towards Baekhyun, “Does that look like the face of a man worried about being fired?” 

Surely not. He was now making out with the other girl on his arm, while the previous one kissed his neck, at the bar for everyone to see. You’re sure people were taking pictures of them too, whoever wasn’t drunk enough to comprehend this.

“My friend’s worked with a couple of them. They’ve literally all fucked each other. And honestly, if I led a lifestyle as stressful as that? I would too” Renjun laughed.

“Most of them are dating too” Jamie said. 

It felt like a dark cloud washed over you. Were you wrong about everything you assumed about Hyunjin’s life? 

“Who told you that anyway, Y/N?” Minnie asked.

“Just some guy who works at Pegasus” You mumbled, twirling your glass on the table. Pegasus was the label Hyunjin’s group is under, but there’s enough artists in that company to not arouse any suspicion. 

“Why are you so curious about this anyway? You’re in the mood to fuck a famous guy?” Nate asked.

You shook your head, “No, it’s just interesting to think about…”

If you could still talk to Hyunjin, you’d call him right now and ask him all about this, and why nobody seemed to care that Baekhyun was feeling up two girls in this very public place. It was like looking into an alternate reality, where nobody cared about what they were up to. A better reality than yours surely, yet you couldn’t process it. You hadn’t been interested in idols before Hyunjin, and after Hyunjin, all you’d known was their endless restrictions.

Minnie finished the tequila in your glass, “I could never be famous. I’d get cancelled on day one”

You smiled at her joke, but your mood had already dampened. Nate was right. You were naïve to think that none of them broke the rules, just because Hyunjin didn’t want to. You stared at the condensation ring your glass left.

Minnie nudged you in your stomach, as if noticing the lull in your emotions, “Wanna get another drink with me at the bar?”

You desperately wanted a drink, so you could finally let go and enjoy the rest of tonight, “Aren’t we going to be hungover for class tomorrow?”

She rolled her eyes, “Class isn’t till eleven. We’ll be fine. Plus, Jieong knows we drink every Wednesday”

So you followed her to the bar. Baekhyun wasn’t there anymore, and he must have left with the girls. “This place is really cool” You told her, hiking up on a bar stool as she ordered you two Tequila Sunrises.

“Isn’t it? We try to go out every week, it keeps us sane. I mean, there’s so many places to explore too, you know what I mean?”

You nodded, even though you’re all about routine and less about spontaneity, “I get it”

Your drinks arrived, decorated with two cherries on top, and a slice of orange. 

“So, you have a boyfriend yet?” She asked you, chewing on her straw. You knew the question was coming, so you’re not surprised and you don’t flinch.

“No” You shook your head, “I haven’t had one for a while”

She hummed, “Why? It’d be fun to get one, while you’re here”

You laughed, sipping on your drink, “Get one? You say that as if I can just go shopping for a new boyfriend”

The drink was citrusy — a blend of tequila and orange juice. Yet your favourite drink is still the one Hyunjin made you, complete with the flower from his home garden.

She rolled her eyes, “No, I mean, you’re pretty. Look around us and just pick a cute boy. Boys in Seoul are so desperate they’ll be very easy to get”

You laughed, “You’re not serious, are you?”

“I am!” She seemed offended, “Then we could even go on double dates”

“You have a boyfriend?” 

She smiled, “A girlfriend. But we’re on the down low”

You’re surprised, “Really? What’s her name?”

She laughed, pointing at your booth, “You met her. It’s Jamie. She’s at the table”

Your eyes widened, “Shit. You’re dating Jamie?”

“I know, we don’t seem like a couple, right?” 

They hadn’t been all over each other so you hadn’t presumed they were together, but perhaps their love was stable, so they didn’t need to be. You took a long sip of your drink, “No, I just…I just didn’t know”

She shrugged, “We don’t really tell anyone. Not everybody gets it”

“Thank you for telling me. I know we haven’t talked much in class, and you don’t even know me that well, but—”

She interrupted you, keeping her hand on your thigh, “Stop, Y/N. I’ve seen your art, and honestly that speaks to me so much more than knowing someone for years. It’s like reading a personal diary, don’t you think? Art reveals so much of who we are”

You smiled, her words stroking a growing flame in your heart, “What does it reveal about me?”

She chewed on her straw further, smile tugging at her lips, “All I need to know. And since we’re all in Jieong’s class now, I hope you know we’ll basically be family by the end of the year”

“You’re really sweet…I was kind of nervous joining in the middle of a semester, but I’m so glad I’m here. Thank you for taking me out tonight too”

“Of course. You’re the newest addition to the group, we had to”

It feels so sudden, and fast, but you’re thankful they consider you a part.

“So” She leaned forward, “Pick a boy to kiss tonight”

You shook your head, laughing, “No, I can’t” You’re tipsy, but you’re not that drunk, and the idea of kissing someone who’s not him, hurts you far too much. You also can’t imagine enjoying it.

“Why?” She pouted.

You wonder what’s the best way to say it. You forced a smile, “I’m…in love with somebody else”

Minnie’s eyes widened, as if you’d been keeping a secret from her for years, “What? Who?”

You played with the orange slice in your drink, “Just a boy from my town”

“Can I ask what happened?”

You swallowed, gaze wavering from hers, “Uh…it’s complicated, Minnie”

“Did he break your heart?”

You looked up at her, “We…lost touch” 

It sounds stupid to say in the 21st century. Those kind of things don’t happen anymore. It’s not like you are ancient lovers who separated due to circumstances. Yet it feels more like that every day. You wish you just knew what happened. There must be a reasonable explanation for why he acted this way.

Minnie frowned, “I see…”

You know she’s curious, but nobody could ever understand the complexity of what happened between you and him this summer anyway. You don’t think you understand it yourself.

“Let’s just not talk about him” You mumbled, finishing the rest of your drink. You’d been drinking so fast tonight, you didn’t realise how much you’d had.

“Hey…” A voice interrupts you, and you turned to see Jamie, “I was looking everywhere for you”

Minnie rolled her eyes, “The only place you should look is the bar”

“You’re right” Jamie slung an arm around her, pulling her close, “Can we go dance, baby?”

Minnie grinned, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, “Y/N, do you wanna come with?”

You looked between them, and they look so cute together. Jamie was leaving little pecks on Minnie’s shoulder as they talked. They complement each other so well — Minnie with her light hair, and Jamie with her fiery red. You haven’t known Jamie before tonight, but their personalities seem so contrasting too. 

You jumped off the barstool, “I’m actually gonna go to the bathroom, okay?”

“Cool. We’ll be here” She smiled, walking off to the dance floor with her girlfriend.

There’s a line at the bathroom so you stand in it, hugging yourself. The music isn’t as loud here, so it’s nice to get some time to your thoughts. A couple is making out in front of you, and the guy is grabbing her ass, pushing her to the wall. The club walls aren’t the most sanitary for this, but the music playing is sexy, and the atmosphere is so hot. There’s nothing wrong with daydreaming…so you let yourself drift into it. If he were here…you don’t think that would have stopped you either. In a dress that’s too short for you, the two of you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other the whole night.

Except… he would have definitely stopped you. You can never imagine a day where he’d kiss you in the middle of a crowded bar.

Once you’re finally in, you splashed some water on your face. Some of it gets on your top. Pushing your hair back, you stared at yourself in the mirror. The image looking back at you is blurry, and out of focus. Pink neon strips surround the mirror, but the light hurts your eyes. The alcohol has got to your head, and your reflection is already spinning. You take in a breath, gripping the counter tightly. You suddenly feel sick. It’s not the drinks. It’s the image burned into your head of Baekhyun at the bar. How is he living his life with so much ease, when all you had with Hyunjin are stolen moments? You’re happy that perhaps the rules aren’t the same for everyone…but it feels unfair. 

You wonder if you’re destined to always feel this way, this loss, like a hole in your heart where he belonged. Tears threatened to spill but you hold them back. You can’t be the girl crying in the bathroom, on her first night out. That would be so fucking pathetic, you’d pity yourself.

“Fucking asshole!” A voice interrupted your breakdown, and through the neon mirror, your eyes fall on a girl as she runs into the bathroom, aggression plastered on her features. She’s in a tight top, and it’s soaking wet. It looks like someone spilled a drink on it. She looked rightfully annoyed, coming to stand next to you at the sink. You wonder who she got into a fight with, or how the drink ended up on her clothes. 

She’s furiously wiping away at her top, but it’s completely wet, purple liquid seeped in. Tearing off tissues one after the other, she seemed frustrated when the dispenser is out.

You’re still zoned out, and you don’t realise you’re holding out a toilet paper roll to her. Your limbs seemed to move on their own accord.

She glanced up at your reflection, with wide eyes. Bangs fall to the front of her eyes, and thick eyeliner darkened her gaze. A nose piercing catches the neon light. Despite the mess on her shirt, she easily looks like the coolestgirl you’ve ever seen.

“Thank you” She frowned, but her shoulders visibly relaxed at your gesture. She grabbed the paper roll from you, and you turned to leave.

“Some dude threw a drunk at me when I said I didn’t wanna dance with him” She said. It takes you a second to register that she’s talking to you.

So you turned around, crossing your arms to hold yourself, “Oh…ouch. Some people just can’t take a no, I guess”

She laughed, looking at herself in the mirror, “Right? I looked in his direction for a second, and he took that as an invitation”

Her clothes …are completely ruined, and you can see her bra. It’s way past the point of saving. It would have been a cute outfit, if it wasn’t for the huge stain at the front.

“Who was he? Maybe I can get my friends to talk with him” You told her, and you don’t know why you’re offering up Nate and Minnie to fight a random stranger, just for this girl.

Still, she laughed, “Your friend would beat up a stranger for me?”

You smiled, and said without hesitation, “If I ask him nicely enough. Actually… I think me and him just became friends today, so I can’t promise you”

She laughed, “A night of firsts for you too then”

“For me too?” You questioned, and you’re still looking at her through the bathroom mirror.

“It’s my first night out on the city after a long time. I honestly just needed to get out. I thought I’d go insane in my apartment” She told you, and then looked down, “What am I gonna do with this?”

You don’t think, “You can have my jacket”

Her eyebrows shoot up, and she whipped around to look at you. You realise up close, she’s even prettier than in her reflection, if that’s possible. 

“You’re serious?” She tilt her head, and looked over you, gaze drifting to the leather jacket that clings to your body, “That looks new”

“You can return it to me” You offered. 

“You trust me enough to do that?” She smiled, and dimples appear in her cheeks. 

“You… seem nice enough”

She looked at your jacket yet again, thinking it over in head, “No, I couldn’t. Won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, and you definitely can’t wear that” You said, pointing to her blouse that sticks to her body.

She sighed, looking down at herself, and then gives in. You wonder why you’re convincing her to take your jacket. Maybe because she’s the only thing that stopped you from having an actual breakdown in the bar bathroom. She peeled off her blouse, cursing again at how it sticks to her body as she did so, and it leaves her in just her bra. She squeezed the blouse over the sink, wringing it, and purple liquid dripped out.

“That’s gross” You remarked, and she laughed. You handed your jacket to her. Inside, you’re thankfully wearing a tank top so you’ll be fine. She zipped it up, and it’s a little tight on her, but it does the job. It obviously doesn’t match with the denim skirt she’s wearing, but still you smiled, “Cute outfit”

“I look insane” She laughed.

“Well, hey, at least that’ll keep the creepy guy off you” You told her. You then realise you’ve been here far too long, “Um, I should probably head out. My friends would be worried”

She giggled loudly, turning to you, “Wait, but thank you. You’re…really nice. It’s not often you meet people with the likes of you here”

“I’m not from here but…I’m sure anybody else would have done the same thing” You suggested, standing at the door to leave.

“Well, I asked like six girls for help but all of them said no” She mumbled.

Your heart clenched. Perhaps it’s true that people in the city really are so consumed in their own lives. Maybe that’s why everyone in your town hated them.

“Where are you from then?” She asked you.

“You won’t really know it”

Her eyebrows shoot up, as if you challenged her, “Come on, try me. I was a pro in geography in high school!” 

“It’s a town called Daejon”

Her eyes widened, “Daejon? Yeah, I do know where that is!”

“Oh” You smiled, and you don’t know why you’re telling everybody about yourself tonight, but it feels nice. 

“I actually knew somebody from there” She said, and that’s what really catches your attention.

“You do?”

“Yeah” She smiled, but says nothing more.

Someone suddenly tugs at your sleeve. It’s Minnie, and she hooked her arm around yours, pulling you out, “You’ve been in here for like, an hour. We’re going to another bar. Nate and the others are waiting for us” 

You glanced back at the girl, and said, “Sorry! I, um, gotta go”

You’ve made it all of two steps out of the bathroom and back into the bar, before she tapped on your shoulder. She yelled to be heard over the music, it’s so much louder out here, “Wait! How should I get this jacket back to you?”

You’re clearly drunker than you thought since you just handed her your shit and were walking away without any plan of how to get it back, “Um yeah, I can give you my number. I’m Y/N, by the way”

“Y/N” She repeated, pulling her phone out to save your number, “My saviour”

You enter hers, and you’re in a hurry because Minnie is pulling at your sleeve, whining about how the others will be annoyed, “What should I save yours as?”

“You can just put in Kairi!”

“Sorry?” You looked up at her, freezing. The pounding music overtakes your senses. You must have misheard her…

“Kairi. My name!” She smiled, and you’re staring at her stupidly for a second just as Minnie tugs at your arm, and before you can ask her any further questions, she dragged you back into the bar.

»»————-

At 6:46 a.m., there was a text on your phone.

heyy its the drunk girl you gave your jacket to last night :) im very grateful for it and would like to give it back. where do you work, yn?

You’re surprised she remembered your name. 

Last night flooded through your brain. You’d gone out drinking with your friends, and then to another bar, and you’d come home without your jacket… dead in the night. Jeongin had seen you struggling with your keys, and he’d let you in. You’d been so fucking drunk, but nothing can erase the memory of that girl.

She said her name was Kairi. Chan’s ex-girlfriend was a girl named Kairi. The girl he was in love with for years, the girl he was going to ask to marry, before something happened…and they broke up. That had also been around the time Hyunjin had stopped talking to you…

How many Kairis could possibly live here? It’s probably just…a random Kairi, and not the one Hyunjin had told you all about. Although knowing your luck, Chan’s ex-girlfriend was possibly texting you, and this was all kind of insane. You can’t even go a single day without being reminded of Hyunjin, and it feels like life is playing a cruel trick on you by introducing you to Kairi. It’s too big a coincidence. It’s so crazy and convoluted that you should just block the number and never think about this again. She had no idea who you are, and it feels like you’re tricking her by knowing her identity. 

But Yeonjun gave you that jacket so you can’t just let it go, and so you text her back. Just so you can get it back. Nothing more to it. 

hey, im actually a student but i can come to where you work, and pick it up

a student? that explains why you’re so sweet and i work near the outskirts, it’ll be too far for you.  why don’t we meet up at the paris baguette near hannam? is that all right for you for tonight?

i actually have class at eleven 

ah  how about now then?

You sat up immediately. You’re still in your pyjamas and hungover as fuck. Now?

»»————-

Kairi was standing outside the Paris Baguette when you arrive, tote bag slung over her shoulder. She looked absolutely stunning in the morning, miles more so than the club bathroom, and your heart shakes a little. Sober, she’s prettier, and even more confident.

“Hey” You walked up to her, trying not to think about how weird this all was. You’re just here for the jacket, and then you’re going to leave, “Morning”

“Hey, stranger” She smiled bright, dimples returning.

“I’m sorry if I was late” You apologised. 

“No, don’t mind me, I just like to show up way too early. Here’s your jacket!” She reached into her bag, handing it to you, “I had it dry-cleaned in the morning. Didn’t wanna return it with the alcohol smell over it”

“Oh. Thank you” You smiled, “You didn’t need to do that”

“Of course I did. I’m buying you breakfast, by the way”

“You’re what?”

“In fact, I got here early to beat the rush. Got you some pain au chocolat before it sells out!”

Fuck. No wonder Chan was in love with her.

This feels far too weird though, and you can’t be hanging out with her, “I should…get going, Kairi”

“You remember my name, Y/N” She grinned, unfazed by you constantly wanting to just get the fuck out of here.

“Of course…you, uh remembered mine, but I should really go”

“Well, I’m not letting you go that easily. I already bought us food”

You watched, helpless, as she reached into her bag to bring out a little box, “Do you want to walk with me? There’s a place in the park we could grab coffee from”

You really shouldn’t. Every bit of you is screaming at you at how you shouldn’t do this. But she looks far too happy for this early in the morning, and you don’t want to be to the ruin her entire day so you gave in, “I…can’t ever say no to coffee”

Kairi grinned, triumphant as she led you to the park, and when you bite into the chocolate croissant that she bought you, this doesn’t feel like such a big mistake.

You’re walking, and her elbow brushed against yours as she asked you, “You said you’re a student”

“Mmh” You nodded, through a mouthful of croissant. The chocolate sticks to your lips and you wipe it off, conscious of how you look around her.

“So, tell me more, Y/N. What are you a student of?”

You’re feeling the nerves in your tummy, and you need to act normal because this is just a girl. It doesn’t matter if Chan is her ex-boyfriend, or if she’s friends with Hyunjin. You can’t make it weirder than it already is. “I study art” You told her, “At the Atelier”

“Art?” Her eyes lit up, “I swear I always attract the creative people”

“Yeah?” You glanced at her, swallowing another bite of the croissant. 

She shook her head, as if to dismiss the thought, “Mmh. So what kind of art do you learn?”

It’s a chilly morning in the park, but it’s beautiful. People are walking their dogs, and old couples are sitting on benches, and you’re with a kind stranger who was buying you coffee. 

“All kinds, but mostly painting” You told her, leaning against a little fence as you two come to a stop. There’s a little stall set up in the popular trail of the park, and a sweet woman is selling coffee and cakes. Kairi paid for your drinks, and you watched her from where you stand.

“I have a friend who likes to paint” She told you, smiling as she walked back over to you, “Personally, it’s not for me”

“What do you do?” 

“Be careful, it’s hot” Kairi warned, handing the steaming cup of mocha to you. You wrapped your hands around it, and lift it to your cheek, letting the warmth travel to your face.

She giggled, “Who needs heat packs when we have caffeine?”

You nodded, taking a sip of it as you looked at her. She can’t seem to stay still, and she’s walking across a circle of pebbles, as she chats away and sips at her coffee. She’s so endearing, and she reminds you of a mix of Felix and Minho. Today, her hair is pulled up into a bun, strands falling around her face. Her makeup is lighter than it was yesterday too, but she’s prettier in the daylight.

“Oh and…I work in corporate. It’s…a boring job, but I think I’ve had enough of an exciting life” She hummed. You let yourself get comfortable, crossing your ankles across the dirt, enjoying the warm coffee, as she told you about her job, and the kind of clients she’s had. You tell her about your apartment, and about how you’d be locked out so frequently, if it weren’t for Jeongin. You tell her about Yeonjun too. 

You’re trying really hard to not bring up anything that can give you away. You’re so curious, you need to know if this is the same Kairi that you’ve heard of this whole while. Kairi is a common enough name, even if you asked, what would you say? The boy I love is in a band with your ex-boyfriend. It’s insane to bring up, so you settle for something simpler, “Um…can I ask why you’re buying me coffee on a Friday morning?” 

She looked up at you, smiling, “Would you judge me if I said I’m going through a really shitty time? I kind of want to remind myself that there’s still good stuff in the world”

“Oh. I’m sorry” You apologised, staring at your feet. That was inappropriate to ask.

“Don’t be sorry. We all have our own baggage to deal with”

“Yeah. I get you” You said, taking another sip of the mocha, “Um, so don’t you have work today?”

“No” She laughed, “I’m taking a mental health day, as cringe as that may sound”

Your chest squeezed. It sucked to see her go through this, whatever it was, and you barely know her. “We all need that sometimes” You shot her a smile, “It’s not…cringe at all. Don’t worry. In fact, the world would be a better place if everyone took a mental health day once in a while”

She stepped up to you, eyes lost in thought, “You know…you remind me of someone”

“I do?”

“Mmh” She nodded, “My boyfriend, he—Sorry, ex-boyfriend, he was just like you”

Now you’re definitely crossing a line, but you’re self-destructive so you ask anyway, “Can I…ask what happened?”

She tilt her head, pausing between sipping her mocha, “It’s not really morning coffee worth news. I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details but we’re…taking a break…indefinitely”

You swallowed, “I’m sorry to hear that”

She shrugged, wiping some foam off her lips, “Don’t be. I know that…things are going to be okay”

You can’t resist asking, “How can you be so sure?”

“Well. He’s the only person I think of, when I’m sad…and also when I’m fucking happy. I know that he feels the same, and if two people can’t stay away from each other, it just means…they aren’t supposed to be apart” She laughed.

Your stomach clenches at that. You should believe that, except it’s impossible. 

“I wish that I could be as positive as you are” You end up saying.

“You said you’re from Daejon, right?” It comes out of nowhere. Why is she bringing it up now?

You felt a rush in your chest at her question, “Yeah. I am.”

She pokes her tongue in her cheek, and you don’t know where she’s headed with this, “One of my friends was born there”

“Oh…” You try hard not to react, but you’re so easy to read, you give everything away. Anybody would be able to see you’re hurting.

“He’s a painter too. Well…not professionally, but…he wishes he was. He’s so talented. in another life, I’m sure he’s much more successful than even Da Vinci”

You know exactly who she’s talking about, and you can’t hear this. You’ll end up crying or something, so you finally do the right thing and say, “Um. I think I should leave, Kairi”

Her eyes widened, and she seemed confused, stepping towards you, “What? Did I say something wrong?”

You’re pressed up to the fence, facing her, “No. I’m just going to be late for class if I stay and—”

“I said something wrong” She interrupted you, face hardened. 

You look at your feet, and you shouldn’t have come here with her. You’re far too sensitive for this, “No, you didn’t”

“Wait…You know who I’m talking about, right?” She continued, and you wish she’d stop.

“I don’t” You said, and your jaw is clenched from the lie.

Kairi’s gaze is unrecognisable, and her voice feels far away, “You’re…the Y/N…aren’t you?”

You’re squeezing the cup in your hand, “What?” 

“I wasn’t sure…I had a doubt but the more time I spend with you, the more obvious it gets who you are”

Your voice fell to a whisper, “You know me?”

“All he did was talk about you.”

A burning flame consumes your heart, and you can’t breathe, and you asked even though you know the answer, “Who…?”

“Hyunijn… He would be making up excuses just to keep bringing you up, in each conversation. He talked about you every second he could.”

You think you’re going to have a panic attack in the middle of the park.

“He did…?”

“Until… a few months ago he completely stopped. He…hasn’t said your name since”

You swallowed, and there’s tears in your eyes, “I’m sorry I…need to go, Kairi. Thank you…for the coffee”

She doesn’t say anything.

This time, she lets you leave.

»»————-

You’re a mess. 

It’s been a few days since you saw Kairi in the park, and you’re a fucking mess. You can’t stop thinking about her, about what happened with Chan, and about Hyunjin. 

You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment, and your vision is all blurry as you try to paint. There’s an assignment due in a few hours, and you’re not even halfway done. Unproductivity has plagued you. Why do you get so fucking emotional? You wish you at least had some closure. It’s not fair that Hyunjin decided to just move on, and not tell you what was up. 

Your phone buzzed, and it’s only Nate.

you coming to class?  the field trip is planned for today so you better not skip it yn

You don’t even want to get out of bed, but you can’t skip it. Kim Jieong has been talking about this trip for weeks. He’s had to move a lot of schedules around to make it happen. You’re supposed to be visiting an artist friend of his— someone who owns art galleries and does frequent viewing exhibitions. The thought of meeting another real artist like that used to excite you. You had never got this chance back home, and this is just the beginning of the opportunities you get. You can’t be wasting away your time in sadness. That’s what gets you out of bed. That, and the thought of disappointing your professor potentially. These days, it feels like you’re just hanging on by a very thin thread.

When you arrive to the Atelier, everybody’s already gathered in the parking lot, ready to depart. You hate being late, but you spot your friends by the corner and you find comfort in walking over to them. Professor Jieong was in the middle of briefing everyone, and handing out access cards.

“You decided to show up” He said to you, smiling, “We were getting worried”

“I’m sorry. I ran into traffic” You apologised.

“Don’t worry” He laughed, handing you your card, “This will get you in and out of the building, but try not to use it too much. Karina would get into a shit load of trouble if my students are found wandering on the other floors”

Karina is the artist you’re supposed to meet today, apparently she’s big in the art world here in Seoul. You hope one day…you can be too.

Nate’s holding a plastic bag to his chest, and he looks cute today in a pastel sweater, “I packed some extra snacks for you, Y/N”

“You didn’t need to” Your heart warmed at his consideration. 

“Come on, we’re on a tight schedule, so…let’s hurry up, okay?” Jieong announced.

“Since you’re late, you have the honor of riding with the prof” Nate smirked, jutting his head towards Kim Jieong.

“Are you serious?” Your eyes widened, “Just me alone?”

“You’ll be fine, Y/N” Minnie laughed, “He has a bias towards you”

“That’s only because I’m the new one here!”

“No, it’s because it’s impossible to not like you” Nate rolled his eyes.

Jieong approached your group, hands on his hip, “So…which one of you is coming with me?”

“She is” Minnie chirped, pushing you in his direction.

Nate hummed as he walked away, “If I remember correctly, he is your favourite artist, isn’t he?”

You’re embarrassed, and also pissed at your friends. Jieong lead you to his car in the parking lot. You watched Nate get in his jeep and he laughed at your predicament.

Jieong smiled at you as you got into his car, “Oh, don’t be shy, Y/N. This will give us a chance to know each other better, won’t it?”

You sank into his seat, flushing, “Right” 

»»————-

The skyscrapers of Seoul passed you, as you drove through crowded streets and glitzy buildings, “Should I be nervous?”

He looked over at you, “Karina is one of my favourite students. She used to intern with me a few years ago. She couldn’t get off her meetings, so we’re gonna visit her at work. That’s all it is. Nothing to be nervous about”

You’re sitting in the passenger seat and it’s been mostly quiet as you fiddled with the access card in your lap, “What kind of work does she do?”

“She’s a curator. I asked her to be a sort of…mentor for you kids throughout the semester. She’s had her fair share of exhibitions”

It feels strange to ride in his car, next to him. You’re his student after all, “Do I get credit for this, Mr. Jieong?”

He glanced at you, “Of course you do. I’m not doing this on my dime, Y/N. We’re here, by the way”

At his words, you leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the building you’re arriving at. He pulled straight into the garage, and you briefly caught the glamorous exterior.

“This is where she works?” You gaped, “She must be one hell of an artist”

Jieong laughed as he pulled the car into a guest parking spot, grabbing a ticket, “Obviously the entire building doesn’t belong to her.”

You told him about Yeonjun’s workplace, as you waited in the car for all of your classmates to show up, “One of my friends…he works in a building like this, but it’s so…monotonous. I kind of hated it” 

He laughed, “Well, I think you’ll love this one. It’s brimming with creativity. They have beautiful art hung in every corridor too. Karina’s workspace is on one of the upper floors”

“I’d kill to have an office like that. The view must be so good”

Jieong smiled at you, “You continue working as passionately as you do, and you will have whatever the hell you dream of, Y/N. You name it, and it’ll be yours”

He unclipped his seatbelt, and your stomach felt uneasy from anticipation as you got out of the car. Even the parking garage looks expensive, and glamorous. Way, way more than Yeonjun’s building.

“Am I underdressed? Will they let me in?” You blurted, even though it’s hardly appropriate to ask him that. You’re in a peach tube top and wish you’d grabbed a blazer or something. If the place has a dress code…you probably won’t be let in. Thankfully, the skirt falls to your ankles and isn’t too short. He looked back at you, eyes raking over your outfit, and you felt embarrassed. You shouldn’t have asked him.

His lips curled up into a smile, “You look fine, Y/N. Don’t worry”

Fine. That would have to do.

You waited near the elevators, as your classmates also made their way to you. Nate was smirking as he saw you with your professor. You rolled your eyes at him, and he stood next to you, “How was the private ride?”

“Clearly better than ours, Jeonghan, seeing as she rode with someone who actually knows how to drive. I’m surprised we made it here alive” Minnie mumbled to him.

“Stop calling me Jeonghan! It’s Nate to you” He rolled his eyes, shoving her.

“I like your Hangul name better” You told him. Nate was nice, but Jeonghan…had a ring to it.

He smiled at you, eyes crinkling, “Hmm. You’re allowed to call me whatever you want”

You laughed, and he came and swung an around you, holding you next to him. The rest of the class gathered up at the foyer, and your professor spoke, “We’ll be going straight to Karina, she’s gonna talk to each of you about her work, and we’ll spend some time looking at her portfolio. The Atelier has a reputation to withhold, and I trust you all to not mess with it. And yes by that, I mean you Jeonghan”

Jeonghan gasped dramatically, and you laughed. 

The inside of the elevator was as big as your bedroom. The buttons were gold-plated, each label marking names of different managements. It seemed like a big office building, and each floor belonged to a different company. You stepped behind Jieong, letting him take the lead. He pushed a keycard, and the elevator came to life.

Familiar music started playing, and Jieong informed you, “Nobody can enter without authorisation”

“The real estate of this place…must be insane” You commented, looking around you at the gold fittings in the walls. It’s the fanciest place in the city you’ve been to, which is saying a lot, since The Art Atelier is pretty exclusive too.

Jieong leaned against the side, crossing his arms, “Well, all the floors belong to different companies. Most of them belong to Pegasus though. They’re paying for half of it”

Your head snaps to his, and surely this is all a fucking joke and somebody is messing with you big time, “Pegasus? Like…the entertainment company?” 

There was no fucking way he was being serious…

He nodded, “Their headquarters are on the eighth floor. I’m sure you know most buildings downtown share offices”

Somebody has to be fucking with you. 

“Hey, maybe we’ll see Baekhyun or someone again” Jeonghan laughed.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Minnie asked, “It looks like the life drained out of you, or something”

Jeonghan grinned, pulling you into his side, “She’ll be fine. I’m sure famous people just make her nervous” 

»»————-

A freak accident. That’s what this was. 

Pegasus. That is where Hyunjin works.

You’re sitting in an office on the tenth floor, but you’re losing your mind. There’s art on the walls. You recognise the paintings, and they cost more than million won and you should be taking notes and appreciating them. You can’t focus on them though, not when Hyunjin is in this building somewhere.

You feel like a stalker. First Kairi, and then this. Your life is playing a cruel trick on you. You just need to get through this. It’s possible he’s not even here today — he’s a busy man. There’s a huge chance you are in and out of here, without ever encountering him. Yet you’re dying to see him.

“Make yourself comfortable. Karina will be with us soon” Professor Jieong told you all, sitting at the table. You felt like you’re going to pass out.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” Someone asked.

“I’m fine. I just…need some water” You mumbled. Your head was spinning with the revelation of where you are.

“There’s a soda machine down the hall” Your professor told you.

So, you get up and go out without a word. There’s so much life here. Jieong was right, there’s a hum of creativity in the air and the vibe is far different from Yeonjun’s office. People are walking around, clad in pantsuits and pinstripe skirts, with clipboards in hands. A woman strolled past you holding a costume rack, with the fanciest gowns you’ve seen. 

You’ve never seen so much activity in one place, everybody’s in a rush. You avoided making eye contact with anyone. You felt weird, and out of place. You’re on the tenth floor. Hyunjin worked on the eighth. It’s too much distance, and it’s not enough distance.

As your eyes raked over everyone, your stomach turned with a bit of hope. You want to see him. No, you need to see him. But why would he be on a floor that isn’t his? And what would he even say if you bumped into him right now? The last time he saw you…you can’t survive a repeat of that.

The vending machine was easy enough to locate. It was fully stocked, and huge, unlike the one at your apartment building, which hardly ever worked. You reached into your purse, hoping you have enough change for a Coca-Cola. 

You feel on edge in the hallway, vulnerable and out in the open. Every second feels like you’re in the wild, as you rifle through your wallet for coins. In fact, you should just fuck the soda and go back to Kim Jieong, and your apparent mentor Karina, because being out here is too dangerous for your heart.

You’re about to push the coins in, and then you’re suddenly caught off balance as somebody barrels into you. 

They were running in the hallway and clearly, somebody from your class wasn’t listening to Jieong about maintain fucking decorum in the building. Coins from your hand clink to the floor, scattering in every direction, and you can’t even be bothered to care. 

“Shit, I’m so fucking sorry!” A deep voice apologised. It’s a voice you don’t recognise, and you’re grateful for the unfamiliarity. You’re really not in the mood for conversation, and you feel sick to your stomach.

The stupid fucking stranger bent down, retrieving the coins you’ve left everywhere.

“I’m so sorry. I was running and I…I didn’t see you” He grimaced.

“It doesn’t matter” You mumbled, moving to step away, not really making an attempt to talk because you are not in the mood for this. You don’t care enough about this soda.

“Wait, no, what were you going to get? I can buy you a Cola” He interrupted.

You looked back at him, into the eyes of the culprit, and you froze.

Chocolate brown eyes. Dark blue hair falling to his jaw.

You don’t know him, not personally, but you recognised him. You’ve seen him splashed across gossip websites, and news articles, and in all of the pictures Hyunjin sent you.

Of all the people in the entire building, it had to be him.

He’s holding a few coins in the fist and held his palm out to you. “Sorry, the soda machine on our floor is broken again” He told you, “I came up here to get some for myself but…”

“It’s…fine”

His eyes narrowed, “I’ve never seen you on this floor before”

You faltered, “I don’t work here”

For the briefest moments, something flashed through his gaze, recognition settling into his features, “Oh…okay”

“Have a nice day” You force a smile.

He doesn’t say anything, just stands up straight with all your coins in his palm, staring after you as you walk away. 

»»————-

You need to leave. Everybody was gathered around a woman in the office, and she must be the mentor you’re supposed to meet today. Most of your classmates were looking through the various portfolio pieces laid out on all the conference tables. Minnie was deeply immersed in a painting and taking notes on her phone. Jeonghan was flipping through a brochure for an art gallery and his eyes widened when he saw you walk back in.

“You’re back” He grinned.

“I’m leaving” You mumbled, grabbing your bag. You feel so childish and immature for acting out like this, but perhaps it’s time for you to take a mental health day too. Hyunjin saw you in the city, and ran from you, so it’s only fair that you run from him too. It’s not like he even knows you’re here... it’s best to just remove yourself from the situation entirely, and fuck off.

“You’re what?” Jeonghan followed you outside the room.

“I’m not feeling too well” 

“But what about Karina? What am I supposed to tell Jieong?” He asked frantically, and he’s chasing after you as you make your way to the elevators. You’re surprised he cares this much.

You turned, to look at him, “It doesn’t matter. I…I really don’t want to be here.”

He frowned, “But what’s wrong? You’ve been acting really weird ever since we came here. Or…actually, you’ve been weird the past week. What happened?”

“I’m fine, Jeonghan. I’m just sick” You told him, pushing the button to make the elevator come faster, and you were too impatient to wait for it, “I’m just going to take the stairs”

He tugged at your arm, turning you to face him, “Are you kidding me? We’re on the tenth floor, Y/N” He sighed, “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but don’t bullshit me, please. We’re going to be seeing each other every day for a year. If things are fucked up, at least don’t lie about it to me”

You looked him in the eye, swallowing, “But…it’s really not important. I promise you’ll be the first to know when it is, okay? It’s just some shit from back home”

He frowned, “Okay but today is important, you…shouldn’t miss it, no matter what’s going on” 

You pressed the button again, wishing the elevator would come faster so you could leave, “Jeonghan… I appreciate you caring. I really do, but trust me, nobody in that classroom is going to miss me, or even know that I’m gone”

“You’re kidding me” He sighed, as if he was personally offended by this, “Jieong used to talk about your art all the fucking time, before you even joined class. What makes you think he won’t notice?”

You’re not expecting to hear that, “Are you serious?”

He nodded, “He told us we had real competition to look forward to now. He was going on about how it’s been years since he’s seen such work. He really set the standards high for when you came in, Y/N. We all thought you’d be a bitch based off that but…it’s crazy. You’re actually the sweetest girl I’ve met in a while”

Despite your internal state of panic, it made you happier, “Oh…um, that’s a lot to live up to, Jeonghan”

“I know we’re still getting to know each other, but you’re a part of us now. I’m looking forward to know you even more” He smiled, reaching forward to pinch your cheek, “And see? You’re one of the only people who’s even allowed to call me by my real name”

You looked to the floor, then up at him, “Would he be mad if I left?”

“He wouldn’t be mad. Just disappointed…but…if you’re really feeling sick, I’m sure he’d understand. I can talk to him for you”

“Thank you, Jeonghan” 

“Of course” He grinned, and caught you off guard by pulling you in for a half-hug. You stilled, not expecting that, but the physical contact felt nice, and you brought your arm up, to hug him back. 

“I hope you feel better” He mumbled, as you pulled away, a small smile on your face. You’d made a genuine friend here, even when you weren’t trying to.

A ping rang through the floor lobby, and the elevator doors finally opened up. 

You turned to step into it, but you stop short in your tracks when you look inside.

It’s a jolt to your dying heart.

Hyunjin is standing in front of you.

Your chest squeezes so you think you’re going to die.

Fucking hell.

Leaning against the elevator wall, arms crossed, his eyes widened as they fell on you. He instantly stood up straighter, ease disappearing from his body, surprise overtaking his features.

You’re sure your expression mirrors his. He was staring at you and Jeonghan, mouth parted.

Hyunjin is here. He’s in front of you. 

You immediately stepped away from Jeonghan, but Hyunjin had already seen you embracing.

“Um…I’m sorry. It’s the wrong floor” Hyunjin spoke, but there’s shock in his voice, even if he’s trying to sound nonchalant. His voice was hoarse, like he’d just been singing, and exerting himself. 

He leaned ahead, pushing the button to close the doors, but you can’t let him do that. He’s right here, and you need to go after him.

You turn to Jeonghan, rushed words, “I’ll…see you later”

He’s clearly confused. He chuckles, “What?”

He’s actually fucking here. It’s been so fucking long. You don’t have time to explain anything, and you don’t hesitate before stepping into the elevator, barely making it in. 

The doors shut, and it’s just the two of you now.

Hyunjin was staring at you, and his hands are gripping the railing behind him, “Y/N…”

He was sweaty, and his hair was dripping wet, bangs sticking to his forehead. A white tank top hugged his body, over his sweatpants. He’s staring at you, and he looks so fucking good. Your brain is on overdrive, and you can’t process anything. 

“Hyun…” You spoke. The floors are whizzing past you, and you don’t have any time. You both stepped forward at the same time, and you wrap your arms around him. He immediately hugs you back, pulling your body into his. His arms curl around your waist, and you’re on your toes, and everything is a blur. But you’re in his arms. You’re touching him, and you’re breathing him, and the void in your heart is already dissipating.

You could cry right now, because he feels the same to the touch, and his heartbeat is pounding so fast against his ribs, you can hear it.

“I missed you so much” You spoke into his neck, and your words are muffled by his hair, but he knows what you said.

“Y/N…” He whispered, hands tight around your body, and then he pulled away, “Jisung told me he saw you. I didn’t…I didn’t believe him. I had to see you myself”

“Is that why you were—”

“I was coming to see you” He interrupts you, and then his eyes dart to the elevator panel, to see what floor you’re on, “What are you doing here, Y/N?”

He must be baffled why you were at his workplace of all places in the world.

“I…I came with someone, Hyunjin, My professor…” 

“Oh”

“Yeah…” You swallowed. You had so many questions. Why had he changed his number? Why hadn’t he talked to you in the store? 

A part of you had doubted, if what you’d felt this summer truly was love, or if it was only infatuation…but seeing him right now, in front of you, it couldn’t have been anything else. 

Every neural pathway in your brain was firing at total capacity, flooding your body with adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin, every good hormone known to man. You were giddy, and nervous, and scared, and excited.

“I…don’t have much time. I was at practice and I need to get back…” He replied, and his breaths were shaky, “Somebody could see us”

“Wait—” You stepped forward, “You can’t just leave right now. I need to—”

Hyunjin lowered his voice, urgency in his tone, “I can’t talk here, not right now, Y/N”

He couldn’t walk away from you, not now, not again. You feel like crying already at the prospect, “But—” 

“Meet me in the third room in this hallway, down the left. In fifteen minutes”

“What…?”

The elevator doors opened, and Hyunjin separated from you as if you’d electrified him. 

There was a group of people outside waiting, and anybody could have seen you close to him right now. He stepped out hurriedly, saying nothing else. People flood into the elevator, but you’re still staring at him walking away. 

Before disappearing around the corner, he turned to glance at you over his shoulder, and the surprise is still pure in his eyes. You used to hate these stolen glances, but right now… you live for it.

»»————-

The fifteen minutes dragged on at a snail’s pace. You don’t think time had ever been this slow, and your eyes strayed to your phone every few minutes, which only made time stop. You were pacing the hallway, clutching your bag in hand, eyes on all the different plaques of achievements hung on the wall. You recognised the band name, Urban Faeries, on multiple awards, and it brought pride to your soul, but you’re not really thinking straight.

You’re pacing, back and forth, and you drew a few suspicious looks but you hope they believe you’re just another stressed employee working here. The time is up before you know it. The third room, to your left, he had said. You stared at the unmarked white doors. You’d never live it down if you accidentally walked into a conference room, or an executive meeting. But you’d just have to trust your gut. You pushed open a door, stepping inside quickly.

You weren’t sure what you had expected. It was…a storage room. It's less fancy than the rest of this building. Racks and racks of clothing, and outfits were arranged on the sides. Stage costumes. They were all in plastic wrapping, like wedding dresses at a bridal boutique, and you could see the outfits underneath.

It had been ten minutes since you were here, and you’re staring at your phone, wondering if you were in the wrong room. He’s not here yet, and there’s a lump building in your throat. Minutes more pass, and you end up looking through the outfits hung on the rack. Sequinned jackets, tight bodysuits, leather pants. It was all so beautiful, and you imagined it all on him. There was a sheer top with lace sleeves. You shouldn’t, but you touched it, reading the tag on it.

Hwang, Hyunjin. KBS Gayo Daejon 2023.

So it was his. You had no idea he wore things like this, and you had a sudden overwhelming desire to see him in it. Lace covered every inch of it.

“You like that?” A familiar voice infiltrated your thoughts.

You were startled, letting go off it instantly. You felt embarrassed, like a kid caught stealing from a cookie jar, but all your feelings dissipated upon seeing him.

“Hyunjin” You realised.

He leaned against the wooden door, letting out a breath, like he’d run here. His gaze was on the bodysuit you’d just been eyeing. He continued speaking, nonchalant, “I personally think it’s a bit much. I don’t see the big deal, but the fans…they love it”

“It looks…great” You said, eyes drifting to the costume rack.

“I’m supposed to wear it, later this year” 

You’re lost on what he’s saying. You just can’t believe you’re actually seeing him in front of you, flesh and blood.

There’s a singular lightbulb in the room, and it hangs from the ceiling, swaying back and forth lightly. Shelves surround you on both sides, and there’s only a narrow aisle to stand in. His back is flush to the door, and his arm reaches behind him, turning the doorknob until you hear a clicking sound. 

He’d just locked you in with him.

You blurted the first thing that came to your mind, “Are you okay, Hyunjin?” 

So much was on your mind, but that was the only thing that mattered. If the boy you loved was okay, then you would be okay too.

He breathed in, like every word was a struggle, and he was still catching his breath, “Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay…You?”

Now that he was here, you realised how small this room was. He took up so much space here, as he did in your heart. Twenty minutes ago, when you saw him…you were too shocked to process it, but now your eyes drifted over his figure. The white tank top fits his body in all the right places. It’s like every day away from you only made him prettier. You nodded, “I’m…okay”

Then his gaze raked over you. You suddenly feel conscious for the way you’re dressed. It’s different from how you used to in Daejon, and he realises that too. It’s more expensive than you’re used to. It’s artsy, like all the other kids in your class. You wonder if he hates it, but his gaze lingers on the strapless top and the silver pendant hanging from your neck. You recognise the look in his eyes, and it’s certainly not hate.

Your heart pounds at his gaze. The room suddenly feels even smaller now. 

“Who was that?” He cleared his throat, “The…boy you were with”

“He’s another student…at The Atelier. I’m here with my class…” 

“Oh…” His tongue darted out to lick his lips, and you tried to focus on his words, “So you’re here with Kim Jieong?”

You nodded. You’re so nervous. You’re fiddling with your fingers, “Yes”

In the little light of the bulb, you saw his lip curl up, “I knew that you’d get in”

He has such an effect on you, because just those words made you smile, “Yeah?”

In an instant it’s like all those months and weeks have been forgotten. It feels like there was no distance between you. Like catching up with an old friend after years, everything clicks into place like puzzle pieces that fit together.

“I told you, didn’t I?” He tilt his head, hair falling into his eyes, and he looked smug.

You clasped your hands behind your back, “You did…”

He continued, a little smirk playing at his lips, “I knew that you’d get into the program. I had a feeling that they’d made a mistake”

You’re smiling now, and your cheeks already hurt from the unfamiliarity of this action. It’s been a while since you’ve felt this way, “You’re proud of me?”

His features softened and he stepped towards you, “Is that really a question? Even when you hadn’t got in… I’d still be proud, but yeah…I’m so proud of you”

“Thank you” Your voice fell, chest warm, and you feel so shy, “You… always had faith in me”

“Is it everything that you imagined?”

“The art program?” 

He bit his lower lip, “Mmh, and the city. Has Seoul been nice to you? Hopefully, nicer than it has to me” 

You shrugged, “It’s been nice. I…made a few friends. I have a nice apartment. It faces a busy street…It kind of sucked that I didn’t get to share any of it with you”

His expression changed, “Sorry”

Tentatively, you took a step towards him. There’s only little space left between you now, but you’re both being so careful. It’s like a magnet between you two, you’re hovering but not getting too close, not touching. 

You know that if he touches you, it’ll be the end of you.

“What’s going on, Hyunjin? Why did you ask me to meet you in here?”

He sighed, gaze darting to the corners of the ceiling, “It’s the only place in the building they don’t have cameras”

“Oh…” Everything suddenly made a lot of sense.

His voice softened, “Don’t worry. Nobody’s supposed to come in here right now. I checked all the schedules”

You have so many questions, but somehow you ask him the least important one, “The woman in the store with you. Was she your girlfriend?”

You regret it as soon as you ask. It makes you sound envious, and jealous. It paint a picture of you that’s not true. Sure, you’ve wondered about her identity all these weeks, but…she hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things. There’s more at stake here.

Still, Hyunjin’s eyebrows shoot up, “What?”

You feel stupid repeating, “When I saw you, you were with a girl…”

“No. No, she’s just my manager, Y/N”

“Is that why you pretended to not know me when you saw me?” It comes out harsher than you intended, but you don’t have time to ease into it. You need to know, because it’s bothered you for so long.

He swallowed, and guilt flashes over him. “Yeah. The manager I was with... She’s one of the less forgiving ones”

It eases the slight ache in your chest, but you’re not done. There’s an explanation for why he acted this way, but he’s not attempting to explain the rest.

“Why did you disappear, Hyunjin…?”

He swallowed, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean — You changed your number all of a sudden. Do you know how hard I was trying to reach out to you?”

His fists are balled up at his side, digging into the material of his sweatpants. You feel a little bad for questioning him like this, and putting him on the stand, but you deserve to know. 

“I’m sorry. I had to. I was afraid…” He trailed off, and it’s half-hearted. 

So you pushed for more, “Afraid of what?”

He looked at you, straight, “I was afraid they’d find out about you. I couldn’t risk it. You know everything that’s been going on in my life, Y/N. With Chan and Jisung…I couldn’t let them get into more trouble because of me”

It hurts to hear that you’re only seen as trouble in his life. You’ve heard of many idols and celebrities who date, fall in love and marry. Why is it only an issue when you’re the one in love?

“I understand that, but…you could’ve told me. I was so fucking confused for months, and I thought I fucked up somehow. Did I do something wrong, Hyunjin?”

“What?” His voice raised a pitch, like he couldn’t believe you asked him that.

You tried not to cry, “I mean…I must have done something, for you to act this way towards me…you cut me off, with no explanation…”

You didn’t care anymore if you sounded needy, clingy, or desperate. You’d been craving an explanation all these weeks, and now that he was here…you couldn’t leave without getting one.

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N” He stepped closer, until his chest is inches from yours, “I had no control of the situation…and I couldn’t risk contacting you”

You swallowed, “But why…didn’t you just tell me what was going on? I was…in the dark, for months”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you. I just didn’t know how”

“Tell me now…please” 

“They went through Chan’s phone” He blurted, “After everything with Kairi went down. They were worried that something would leak and I…I couldn’t deal with that. So in the store…I couldn’t talk to you. Please believe that…especially not in front of her. It would’ve been hell explaining who you are”

He’s right. What good would it have done? The woman you were wondering about…she was just his manager. You knew that, of course. But still, it’s like you’re strangled by a lasso of truth as you blurted, “I was …jealous”

Hyunjin’s expression changed, and he tilt his head, “You were?”

He’s questioning you, yet there’s pride in his voice, like he’s happy that he had that effect on you, even if he didn’t intend to. 

“She treats me like I’m a kid, Y/N” He tells you, with a slight chuckle, “She’s married and…way older than us”

The ache in your chest has subsided, “I don’t know. Maybe you’re into older women like her”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and there’s a playfulness in his voice. It truly feels like all of those months had been forgotten, “That’s a nice way to get fired”

“You can get fired?”

There is amusement in his features, “It’s a job, Y/N. Of course I can get fired…and anyway, does Kim Jieong know you’re here with me?”

You looked into his eyes, “Nobody knows I’m here…”

He nodded, relief sinking into his shoulders, “That’s good because—”

Hyunjin is interrupted by a loud sound.

You’re confused…until your attention turns to the door. The knob is turning…

Somebody’s trying to get in.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen.

Your eyebrows shoot up, and you panic. “Is someone—?”

He doesn’t let you finish your sentence. He clasps a hand over your mouth before you can speak, pushing you to the wall by his body, “Don’t say anything, please”

In a daze, you nod. Over his shoulder, you can see the knob struggling to turn. It’s met with resistance — The lock seems to be holding up.

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice of a man asks, “Is anybody in there?”

“Shit” Hyunjin drops his head against yours, whispering, “I forgot to check for maintenance”

His palm is flush against your lips, and you’re glad he’s physically stopping you because your anxious breaths could surely be heard outside. You’re so nervous. You don’t know what would happen if someone finds you two here like this. Based on everything he’s been telling you, absolutely nothing good. 

Suddenly, you feel guilty. He’s in here because of you. He can get fired because of you. You would never forgive yourself if he has to deal with any consequences, because of your existence, and instantly you understand why he did what he did. All your anger and confusion dissipates, and understanding sinks into you.

The door budges as somebody tries to kick it in, and the person on the other side curses loudly, “Is this door fucking broken again?”

You’re holding your breath too hard. You need to calm down. Your hands find their way to his waist, crumpling his shirt. You’re pinching at his skin, but he doesn’t care. He can hear your heartbeat, pounding so loudly. Silently, with just his eyes, Hyunjin asks if he can drop the hand. 

You nod. He pulls his hand back and his palm is wet with your saliva. He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t even wipe it. He just stays in place, eyes locked onto yours. You couldn’t move… even if you wanted to. You’re frozen to your spot and caged by his body. It towers over you. 

“Don’t worry…They’ll leave soon” Hyunjin reassures you, in a whisper.

You’re lucky he remembered to lock it. It’s undoubtedly a compromising position to be seen in. In a dark corner of the storage room —your bodies are squeezed together. He is dripping with sweat; you can feel it sticking to your skin. You can feel every muscle in his stomach, pressing to yours. 

Your eyes meet each other, and they stay. It’s so quiet in here, you could hear a pin drop. 

It’s as if he’s looking right into your soul, no words exchanged, but his eyes say everything. Like you’re challenging each other to some staring contest, seeing who would give in first, but neither of you do. You’re burning, pierced by his strong gaze but you look back at him, sight not leaving his for even a second. 

He’s breathing so heavily — running on hormones and adrenaline, and his chest is moving in sync with yours. You can hear his heart thud erratically. It’s loud and frantic in a way he can’t control it. He was near you after so long. 

“What if…they get in?” Your voice is shaking, you hardly recognize it.

“They won’t” He whispers. 

There’s so much need you need to ask Hyunjin. He’s been out of your life for months, but the only thing that matters right now is the feel of his body against yours. 

One of his arms is against the wall. The other is flexed with how tight he’s holding you. He’s been working out. Right now, he’s drenched in sweat.

You’re dizzy with want. He’s trying, but failing at looking at how you’re pressed to him. 

His gaze falls to your chest, then back into your eyes, almost shameless.

Your top hardly leaves anything to the imagination, squeezing your tits against his chest, and his gaze is fixated on it, dropping down every few seconds. 

You’re not saying anything, but nothing needs to be said. A sweltering desire courses through your veins. 

It’s impossibly hot — hiding in here with him.

You’re electrified by his gaze. It swirls with a thousand unspoken things.

This is fucking stupid considering the circumstances. You could be caught right now, and everything would be over then. 

Slowly, your hand moves over his shoulder. You squeeze his bicep in your hand, feeling him up, and his heart beats the same but his body is different. He feels stronger to your touch, like he’s been dancing for hours on end, using up all his energy. 

“You…feel different” You whisper in realisation. There’s muscle now where there wasn’t before. His breath hitches, like he’s holding everything in, and his eyes fall shut. His body has changed in your absence, and you hate it, and you love it. You hate that he’s not how you remember, but you love that there’s more of him to know. More of him to touch, and discover and feel. 

He’s so close that his hair is falling into your face. He tilts his head to give you space to breathe. It only makes it worse because now his nose brushes against yours. There’s barely an inch between you. 

What happened in these few months? You need to sit with him, and talk for days about it. You want to tell him everything you kept to yourself, every incident, every joke, every dream, every morning, afternoon and night. You want to kiss every part of him, so your lips remember his again. So it’s muscle memory, and so he’s never a stranger to you.

The mind forgets, but the body remembers.

Therefore, you can only blame it on your body right now that it’s horrible timing but you’re so fucking turned on.

The distance between your lips is nonexistent. 

He’s breathing your air, and you’re breathing his.

You should move away now, but you don’t. Hyunjin’s breaths are shaky, and his hands on you are so tight, like he’s afraid to let go. Your breaths are shaky too, they’re desperate and no amount of air in the world can bring you calm. 

You want to be even closer than you are, and you press yourself to him, but the only way to be closer than this is if he were inside you.

There’s no more sounds from the other side of the door.

And then his plush lips part to say, “I… think they’re gone”

Saying that was his first mistake, because as he speaks, his mouth brushes against yours, tenderly, so delicately. 

Your heart jumps. You can’t control yourself. Slowly, you press forward, taking his lower lip between yours. Hyunjin tilts his head, so his lips fit perfectly between yours, but you’re not kissing, not yet. 

You’re both not moving an inch, but you are biting down on his lower lip, and Hyunjin lets out a whine. It emerges from deep within his chest. His fingers dig into your waist, thumbs slipping under the top, to feel more of your skin. You tug at his lower lip with your teeth, pulling it. A rushed moan fills the room, and you soothe the bite with your tongue, but you’re still not kissing.

You grab his hands in your own, fingers circling around his dainty wrists. Silver bracelets clink against each other, as you move his hands up your body. You want him to touch you. He takes the invitation and raises his hands to your top, cupping your chest. Does he remember your body? You feel so much. Too much. 

Hyunjin’s other hand slides into your hair, his fingers on the nape of your neck making you dizzy. Long, thin fingers with silver rings card through your hair, his nails brushing your scalp, and your heart stills. The jewellery he wears is different now, but you feel the same kind of insane.

But he still doesn’t kiss you.

He just tilts your head, so he can lean in, pressing a kiss into your neck instead. Your eyes flutter shut from the pleasure, and you can only focus on the sensation of his mouth. His mouth, that drops kisses along your neck now, a trail of spit and lust. You moan at the sensation, and it’s too loud.

“No…You have to be quiet” He whispers into your neck as he sucks on it. His voice is the same kind of sexy, but he’s never commanded you like this before. He kisses every inch of skin on your neck, moving closer and closer to your mouth. 

A trail of kisses, up and over your jaw, until his lips finally meets yours. His second mistake is giving in. He closes the remaining distance, your hair bunched into his fist, and neither of you are breathing anymore because his mouth is crushed to yours. 

All those months disappear into nothingness as you slip your tongue into his mouth. It’s what happens every time someone puts you and him in a room together. 

You kiss him with desperation and Hyunjin kisses you in hunger. He pushes his tongue in, and you’re making out like your life depends on it. He doesn’t stop squeezing your tits, fondling them through the thin fabric of your top. The material does nothing to hide how turned on you are, but you can’t be embarrassed. Not when you can feel his crotch pressing into your leg, and he’s just as turned on.

His hands are everywhere on your body, finding their home on your waist, and he pulls you into him so your back arches off the wall. There’s no words exchanged and it’s primal  in every sense. The air is filled with your breaths, and whines. 

He’s burning up. You push him, until he’s pressed to the door instead. Hyunjin stumbles back from the force. 

It’s like you want to be caught. The very door that separates you from the rest of the world. The only thing standing between you and total annihilation. It’s hotter this way, and you press your body to his, moulding your mouth to his, hands running through his hair. He lets out a moan that travels straight to your heart which is beating faster than it has in a long time. There’s a fire in it, and every touch of his skin against yours blazes it more.

He turns you around, until you’re pressed to the door instead. He grabs your thigh, pulling your leg up so it’s wrapped around his waist, and he’s grinding his crotch against yours. You can feel him in your core and you pull back to breathe, moaning, “Hyun…” You’re not thinking, only feeling him in every single atom of your body.

You tug at the drawstrings of his sweatpants. You need to take them off. You need him now more than ever. Hyunjin is your annihilation. 

He realises what you’re doing, and he pulls away in a daze, spit-coated lips, “Wait, wait, Y/N…”

“What?” You mumble, kissing his jaw.

His eyes are squeezed shut, “Shit. Wait…stop, we can’t do this”

And you can only whine, pulling him back to you, “You say that every time”

His voice drops, a bitterness to it as if he’s just had some grand fucking epiphany, “Fuck. No, We can’t…”

He says that, but Hyunjin is a hypocrite because when you push your tongue into his mouth, he lets you. He tastes so good, and kissing him feels coming home. It feels like what you’d been missing this whole time and kissing him makes you feel alive.

He mumbles, against your mouth, “We… need to stop”

You pull back, only slightly, “But …nobody is going to know. You said it yourself, nobody’s coming in”

You lean forward to kiss him, but he moves his head away before you can. You’re too much in a daze to be hurt by this rejection. He shakes his head and steps away, as if he’s trying to wake himself out of his dream, “No, we can’t. Not like this”

“But…we’re just kissing—”

“No…this isn’t okay, Y/N. None of this is.”

You fall quiet, and his words are swirling in the room all around you. Your mind is having a hard time process them. You’re in a lust-driven daze, and you brace yourself against the door to catch your breath, “What do you mean…by that?”

He breathes in, snapping out of the lust, “We’re making out…in a fucking storage closet. Do you not see how much is wrong with that?”

His tone stings you. “I mean…I don’t Hyunjin. That’s what we’ve always done. The photobooth…the—”

“That’s exactly what I mean!” His voice raises all of a sudden, but he realises and lowers it again, “We shouldn’t have to sneak away to…to do this. I’m so sick of this…”

Your heart wakes up, but only because it’s suddenly hurting again. His lips are swollen from kissing you, but he’s speaking everything you hate.

Your chest hurts like it’s going to collapse. “You’re sick…of…me?”

He looks at you, distressed eyes, “No…of…of the guilt…”

Since when has Hyunjin felt guilty? And for what? “What are you saying, Hyun?”

“Are you not mad at me?”

“What for…?”

He let out a frustrated sigh, “I stopped talking to you…but you don’t seem angry at all”

“I thought you did that because you were forced to by your managers, by the company… Is that…not true?”

He looked right at you, a bitter chuckle, “Nobody forced me to do anything, Y/N. I wasn’t even supposed to see you today, but…after Jisung told me he met you in the hallway, I couldn’t focus on practice. The routine is usually muscle memory to me, but I forgot every fucking step, because… I realised you were here. But you need to know I didn’t come in here to kiss you. I just wanted to talk to you”

You swallow, crossing your arms against your chest, and your heart is still calming down, “Okay. Talk”

He breathes in, running a hand over his face, “I… lied to you, Y/N”

“About…what?”

“Everything that we talked about” He’s scaring you, “I told you that when you moved here that I’d take you to the studio, to watch me record my fucking music”

“Yeah?” You don’t know where he’s going with this.

“But I obviously can’t do that” He takes a breath, and it feels like he’s on the verge of a panicking, "I can’t…bring you to the recording studio. I can’t paint with you. I can’t show you my routines, or any of the things I promised you. You see that, right? I mean, even just to talk to you, I have to do it away from everyone. This is…insane. I don’t know why the hell I said all of that”

He's spiralling, and you need to calm him because he’s so fucking hard on himself, “That doesn’t mean you lied, Hyunjin. You said that because you wanted it to be true, didn’t you?”

“That’s the thing! It can never be true, Y/N. You don’t see that?” His negativity…hurts you.

“I called you in here to tell you this, but I forgot the way you make me fucking feel” He says, “I wasn’t…prepared to see you” 

You hear everything he’s saying but it’s wrong. You couldn’t be a part of the life that he promised you, but you didn’t care. You don’t need to do all the things that you cannot. He’s bothered by something that you don’t even mind. All you know is that you can’t go more months without him. You can’t go a second more in your life without him. 

You’d convinced yourself that you could never tell him your feelings because it would scare him away. But right now, you need to tell him. Time away from him was cruelty. It was insanity, and it’s something you never want to subject yourself to ever again. 

You‘ve never loved anybody as much as him, and you never will.

He needs to know that. His lip is quivering, and he looks guilty, and scared. You have to tell him, before he says something he’ll regret. Maybe if you were more prepared, your confession of love would be in a beautiful place. 

Like the top of the Chateau…That night, under the stars, he told you he found comfort in you.

Hyunjin was always the more romantic one. 

So you can’t blame yourself for not thinking this through. After all, how could you have planned for everything that happened? A series of accidents, of coincidences that led you to him, over and over again. No matter how much life tried to pull you apart, you found each other.

It was fate.

“I don’t care, Hyunjin”

“What?”

You step closer to him, “I don’t care if I have to kiss you in a storage closet for the rest of my life. I would choose that any day”

His lips part. He’s surprised. But you can’t hold back your feelings anymore. That has got you nowhere.

You pull him close, “I don’t care about all that, I just…I just want you”

His eyes widen, “Why would you ever choose this?”

“That’s…up to me” You swallow. He’s staring at you. It doesn’t matter that your grand declaration of love won’t be in a place as beautiful as him. It doesn’t matter where you are right now, you need to tell him the truth.

The truth — I went insane in my life without you.

The truth — I literally cannot breathe if you’re not near me.

The truth — I love you so much that my chest hurts.

“Did he kiss you?”

His question catches you so off guard, that your eyes dart up to his, “What? Who?”

He lets go of your hand, “Yongbok”

Where the fuck did that come from?

Your eyebrows knit together, and you’re so confused. 

Yongbok doesn’t matter right now. You frown, “I don’t want to talk about him”

Hyunjin nods, “So…he kissed you” 

You’re lost for words. You thought you two were more mature than this, “So that’s what this is about that? You’re acting this way because you’re jealous?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, “Yeah. I am. I am jealous, Y/N. It kills me to know that he’s known you all your life, and I can’t even have you to myself for one entire summer”

“But nobody is stopping you from having me”

“Everything is stopping me!” He cries out.

You flinch.

His voice falls again, and you can feel his distress, “I’m afraid, okay? I’m fucking scared that they’ll find about you and—“

“And what?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, “You’re going to get hurt. You’re not stupid, Y/N, and you fucking know that better than anyone”

“How can you be so sure of that? You’re the one that’s making decisions that hurt me, I mean I couldn’t even tell you I got into the stupid program because you cut me out from your life, all because you’re afraid of something that hasn’t even happened? Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? What are you so afraid of?!”

He falls quiet, and he isn’t looking at you anymore. He stepped back, inhaling deeply, as if to anchor himself. His eyes meet yours, “You…shouldn’t have come here, Y/N”

Your voice breaks, “Why?”

“It would have made everything a hell of a lot easier”

“What would it make easier?”

He swallowed, “Having to stay apart from you”

He says things like that so easily, and his words bury deep into your skin.

Your voice broke, but you’re not done fighting for him, “I thought you missed me. I’m not afraid to admit that I did, okay? I missed you every second I was away from you—”

“I called you in here to say goodbye”

Your voice is merely a whisper, “What?”

His lip is quivering, “I wanted to see you…because this is the last time”

“You don’t mean that…”

There’s a tightness in your chest. You can’t breathe. 

He swallows, “You and I both knew that what we had in Daejon…it couldn’t be anything else”

“Please don’t say that”

He looks to the floor, away from you, “I’m sorry”

You don't understand. Things were just okay, “Are you being like this… because of Chan’s break up?”

His tone changes harshly, “That has nothing to do with you”

You swallow, staring at him. Your eyes fill up with tears. You thought this stupid storage closet would be where you finally tell him you love him. 

He doesn’t pull you in to comfort you, like he’s always done. He just looks at you, glistening eyes and his lip is quivering.

This can’t be it. There’s more to you and him, and this isn’t fucking it. Then his phone buzzes. Hyunjin ignores it at first.

Until it gets constant, and he sighs, “I’m sorry. I need to take this. You have to go, Y/N”

His words shake you to the core, and you can’t speak.

“Can you just please make sure nobody sees you when you leave?” He asks, strained, “I know you hate me right now…but please”

You nod. You have nothing to say. Even in this moment, you love him more than you ever have. 

You’re so stupid. You thought nothing in the world could make you let go of him but just like always, Hyunjin is one step ahead.

He’s already let go of you.

»»————-

masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you :)

[mewintheflesh-2]

Without You

Rating: Teen and Up audiences

Archive warnings: None

Characters: Francis Mosses, Original Characters

Tags: Unrequited Love, heartbreak, Song: Without You (Strawberry Guy), Crushes, Unrequited Crushes, Francis Mosses has sensory issues (briefly mentioned), minor blood and injury, Francis deals with the qualms of being a retail worker (kinda), men crying, emotional hurt, hurt/no comfort, not beta read, Reader is gender neutral.

Word count: 1,800 (rounded down)

Summary: Francis wasnt having a good time.

And you're not about to make it any better

Also posted on Ao3

Francis sighed solomly as he gripped the now empty milk carrier. Hard enough to leave imprints on his hand and whiten his knuckles.

His black leather shoes clicked and clacked against the cold, concrete sidewalk. The sunset painting everything around him in a golden light. It'd be nighttime soon.

He lifted his free hand to his head and clutched his sweaty hair from underneath his hat. He was so tired. He just wanted to get home and sleep.

But he mostly just wanted to talk to you.

Even if you only really talked through that thick, protective window, youd been making more and more conversation with eachother each time you spoke, getting to know eachother more and more each day.

It wasnt long before Francis' lovesick brain fell head over heels.

It was everything about you. The way you looked, with a smile rivaling the warmth of the sun, and just as dangerous to his heart and mind. You always seemed to know exactly what to say to him to pull at his heart like a puppet on a string.

If he didnt know any better, hed say you were doing it on purpose.

He wouldnt mind either way.

Francis slugged up to the reception window, a weight lifted off of him at the sight of you at your desk.

He pushed his ID and Entry Request inside the letterbox for you to receive, planting his hands on the metal shelf jutting out of the wall just below the window; watching you expectantly with a simultaneous aching and soothing feeling in his heart.

After a minute of shuffling papers and opening folders, you look up at him.

"Hello, Francie." You smiled warmly at him.

There it was.

That nickname.

God how it made his heart swell. 

'Francie.'

Such a cute nickname

and it was just for him, gifted from you.

"How's your day been?" You tilted your head slightly at him, setting down and organizing his identification and sliding his profile back into the appropriate folder.

Francis looked at you for a second before frowning. "Not great." He sighed as he shook his head softly, looking down at his shoes.

Your eyebrows knit together in concern, a frown adorning your lips.

"I'm sorry, Francie. What happened, if you dont mind me asking?" Your voice was so warm and soft as you leaned in closer to the window.

It made Francis' heart flutter for a second before he had to think back to all that had happened earlier.

"It's just a lot of little things building up. I'm probably more upset about it than I should be." Francis looked down at his hands, and then up to you.

The expression on his face was just killing your heart. 

"Im all ears." You speak softly as you push your chair in closer to your desk, and by extension, the window.

"If theres anything you need to say, then say it. Its always nice to get things off your chest, dont you think?" You smile softly at him, pushing your chair closer to your desk, and closer to the window by extension.

"Are you sure?" Francis looked around, almost worried. Surely he'd be taking up your time on your job if he did that, right?

"I have all the time in the world-- and I'd rather be talking to you than anything else right now." You assured, that deadly warm smile on your lips again.

The words made Francis feel warm and soft.

A small smile appeared on his face for a brief, fleeting moment. 

 Francis stared at you for a moment, as if asking for approval to speak.

You nod.

He sighed, looking down at the metal shelf infront of him as his ungloves hands tapped at it, wondering where to begin.

"Its just- work has been just awful today.  Someone had left their dog outside, as soon as it saw me it wouldn't stop chasing me, i tried to run away, but it eventually caught up to me and bit my leg.

It wouldnt let go until I had to pry it off of me. And even then it didn't leave me alone for awhile. Not until it's owners came back to take it off of me." 

You frowned, trying to open your mouth to speak, but Francis kept talking.

"And because of that dog, i dropped and broke multiple milk bottles on the sidewalk. So after the dog got taken off of me, i tried picking up the glass since I didn't want anybody accidentally stepping on it because of me, but the shards cut me. Badly. Even through my gloves."

He held his hand up to the window for you to see. There were bloodied bandages wrapped around his hand, and several smaller cuts on his bare fingers. 

You cringe at the sight.

"I had to take them off to clean the wounds, and everything has just been sensory hell ever since." Francis' face draws to a grimace.

"And to make things worse, I had to deal with people yelling at me for being incompetent for losing their deliveries."

He clenched his jaw, his expression doesn't look anything but sad.

"Even though it wasn't even my fault. I'm not the one who left their dog outside. And just to top it off, I've had a horrible migrane all day, and It's just-" He inhales and groans,  collapsing onto the metal shelf infront of him.

"I just want to take a break. I just want to rest."

He mumbles as he tucks his face into his folded arms.

Silence, for a moment.

"Francie........... That's awful-- I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?" You frown sympathetically as you push you chair forward even more, squishing yourself against your desk and placing a hand on the window infront of you.

Francis lifted his head to look up at your hand, and then at you.

"I think talking to you and going to sleep is  enough for me to feel better." Francis smiled briefly before registering what he'd said, casting his gaze anywhere but you after he realized what he'd spoken.

You laugh softly. "If you say so."

Silence for a bit, as Francis regains his composure.

He lifts himself up, slowly propping himself on his elbows on the shelf, leaning his head on his knuckles, huffing out a breath of air.

"...How was your day?" He asks after a beat, head tilted curiously.

You smile, retracting your hand from the window. "My days been pretty slow, but im meeting someone later, so im pretty excited for that."

Meeting someone?

...

Francis blinked for a second. His expression faltering to a look of sadness for just a moment.

No. Surely you didnt mean it like that.

"Meeting someone...?" He echoed.

"Mhm." You smiled softly at the thought. "We met just a few days ago. He seems pretty nice, I'm excited to get to know him more." You lean your head on your hand, mirroring the man behind the glass.

"A-ah.......... Congratulations." Francis did his best to refrain from letting any indication of his emotions fall upon his face as he straightened himself out; but he couldn't help but frown. 

"Francie? Are you alright?" You tilted your head the slightest bit, voice a catalyst of concern for the man standing on the other side of the thick, protective glass. 

"Mhm. I just remembered something. Apologies." He held the brim of his cap between his pointer and thumb, pulling it down over his eyes the slightest bit to avoid looking at you. But he really couldn't help himself.

"Oh, alright. Is there, uh, anything I can help you with?" Your voice was calm and careful in a way that just broke poor Francies heart even more. "About what you remembered- I mean." 

"No, no. It's fine. Thanks for the offer." He shook his head softly, forcing a small smile as he looked down at the shelf infront of him.

"Of course, Francie." Your eyebrows knit together in concern. "Just let me know if there's anything I can do for you. You can tell me anything." 

"Mhm. Thank you." Francis took a quick glance at the door, before looking back in your direction-- though nowhere near directly at you. You put together he was probably signaling to you that he wanted to leave now.

"I'll see you tommorow?" Your voice was soft, sweet, a delicacy and a curse to Francis' ears.

There was a light buzzing noise as you pressed the button to unlock the main entrance. 

"Mhm. Goodbye." He waved at you softly, only actually looking into your eyes for a brief, fleeting moment before walking away. 

"Goodbye........." You spoke quietly, a soft pit in your stomach as you watched Francis dissappear through the doors.

You were so caught off guard by his sudden change in behavior you nearly forgot to lock the door again.

He usually liked to stay for as long as he could.

Was it something you said?

You frowned, leaning back in your chair and fidgeting with some papers.

You'd have to ask him about it tomorrow.

Again began the waiting for your neighbors to return to their apartments.

Francis opened his apartment door with shaking hands, keys jingling as they were set on his kitchen counter.

With a heavy sigh, he flicked on his lamp, enveloping the room in a warm yellow glow, trying to keep his composure.

Slowly but surely he kicked off his shoes, grabbing and throwing his hat onto his dresser.

Just as he was about to unbutton his uniform he was hit with a sudden disgusting, sickening feeling in his chest as tears welled up in his eyes.

He shook his head, eyes squinting involuntary as he let himself fall onto his bed.

He lied there, staring at the ceiling, trying to ignore anything he was feeling.

But no matter how many times he tried, something still peeked through.

He inhaled sharply through his nose as he flipped himself over onto his stomach, nestling his face into his soft pillows.

The feeling in his chest was too intense to bear, he could feel his breath become sporadic, unsure if it was because his face was buried in his pillows or otherwise.

He inhaled sharply once more, this time followed followed by a small Hic as his throat began to close up.

No, no, he wasn't going to cry. It's not that big of a deal. He's fine. He should be happy for you if anything.

But. With everything that happened up until that point. He really couldn't help himself from letting his emotions get the best of him.

Hot tears soaked into his pillow as his hands clutched at his hair violently, hissing in pain as his wounds flexed open.

He grits his teeth, another hic escaping his lips as he opened his eyes into the pillow.

Nothing but a warm, yellowish void.

 He pushed himself up and flipped onto his side, curling into himself, yanking a blanket over his shoulders before clutching his head, throbbing in a burning pain once again as he cried quietly.

He didn't even turn off the lamp before he'd passed out.

Silent, steady breathing, wet cheeks illuminated by the soft yellow light of his lamp. 

Tired eyes, finally getting their well deserved rest. 

An aching heart, beating slowly, deep inside his chest.