#sad improves writing 🍃

[saint-vagrant]

we packed up my studio on Thursday night, so my residency in the burren is officially over 💔🌦 i'll miss it tremendously, including my fellow residents who have already dispersed— such a lovely group with whom i'm so grateful to have shared this time, they improved it tenfold. and i'm grateful to everyone who helped me make this possible.

i worked on pieces large and small, which i haven't had time nor energy to accomplish in the last few years. i didn't finish everything, mainly due to spending as much time exploring the mountains, woods, ruins, and Árann islands. the writing i paired with my work for the Open Studio event reflects my thoughts on being in The Land as someone (mac tíre) severed from the security of family, making space for my trans and queer body, a soft indentation in the sea grass. bithchuimhne 🍃 i introduced some of this in my comic for the HOME anthology— to be embraced in kind means more than words alone can say.

with unfinished pieces, i at least have something to look forward to once i'm settled in.

at the same time, going back to the core feels almost criminal. does it ever not? níl cara ag cumha ach cuimhne. i'm furiously sad at the absence of the Palestinian students who were meant to be here, Mohammed and Nadin. we held a bonfire in honour as a small gesture of committment and memory, and i've been in touch with Mohammed a little, only when he's able to access rare internet connection. Ireland, to be fair, is hardly better— hiding behind selective, vicious, cowardly "neutrality" that somehow continue pandering to the same colonising forces Ireland prides itself on rejecting. but on the ground, coalitions of people are ever here for each other and will not stop coming out in droves against the odds. in that way, israel will lose, as will its guardian the US, as will each languishing oppressor in this conflict and the next. at this moment i can't offer much more than that, but i do believe in it. it's the only thing i've ever believed in. from the plough to the stars, from the river to the sea, saoirse don Phalaistín 🇮🇪🖤🇵🇸 and around the world.

[supergigabigboybabechad]

idk if i interpret your posts right but it seems like you do matchups for twisted wonderland? May I get one?

Im female and go by she/her. Im an ENTP, my zodiac is gemini and I’m about 165cm tall. I’m pretty energetic and always smile since hard feelings like grief, anger or sadness are really overwhelming for me since I am pretty „sensitive“ meaning I take most things to heart easily. I always give advice and help to others and I try to be the best version of myself to make them feel comfortable. I make lots of bad jokes while knowing they are bad. I get lots of compliments for my Singing voice and writing. I also love love love to Infodump like i can talk for hours about something or someone I like. I love wearing pink things with ruffles or lace and I’d say I’m pretty girly over all. I try to act tough and always give everything to make others happy. Im a Great cook and a hopeless romantic. I also have a 8 step skincare routine… I see beauty and worth in everything and love to help people build confidence and self-love. My favorite artist is currently Mitski, since I really relate to her music. I have some father problems going on which make me want to be cared for, but at the same time I have mother problems since my mother was emotionally absent after my dad left, which makes me want to care for people. 🫂

Hope our have a good day or night and Drink enough!<3

Hi! Thank you for being so conscious of me and im so flattered you liked my last matchup enough to ask for one yourself but i love people telling me about themselves so your ask was a happy suprise and really made my day! I didnt expect to get that much attention but hey! If anyone else wants a matchup from me youre more than welcome to send info in! The more the better! Extra little jazz: if you want to send up info the way you would for a matchup and get hcs for a specific char youve got it! Also, if you want your info priv you can lemme know in your ask and ill tag you or you can go by an anon title(ex: leaf anon/ 🍃 anon)and ill mention ur title in the post, if you do this I wont post ur anonymous ask Like last time we have options in order from less to most compatible imo🔥

4. Jack Howl

Upon first meeting you, jack would claim to not care for you

But the thing is, deep down he doesn’t want your feelings getting hurt at nrc, the boys there can be real mean for no reason

He’s also worried about people taking advantage of your kindness

His words and actions conflict as he insists on walking with you everywhere “to be a man” or so he claims

He’d probably scold you about how you’re never putting yourself first leading to you telling him about your want to help others be their best selves

This would get him thinking, he thought you were weak for “letting people walk all over you” but really it’s just selflessness

He’s into the idea of self betterment so he gives you an enthusiastic speech about how you’re doing good work

After that day he sees you in a new light, the definitions of resilience and strength to him have taken on new meaning

He’s always looking to improve, he’d take your advice to heart and trusts you most with his emotional problems

Hes gotta open up to somebody, the tough guy act can’t be a forever thing, you’re clearly the best person for the job

Hes pretty mature so he won’t say anything mean to you even as a joke

He wont let others do that to you either, you wont have to tell him if something bothers you, hes protective so more times than not he’ll defend you

Hes still too macho to let you know just how much he cares but it slips out in his actions

When he can see your upset(Ace was probably mean to you) he’ll insist on walking you back to your dorm after in other words, telling ace to shut up

Hell softly squeeze your hand on the way back and make a comment about what happened earlier off handedly

Say ace was bein birtchy ab the way you dress, before leaving you to enter ramshackle he’d say “I think pink is nice for you” while awkwardly looking away

Jack wouldn’t know how to respond in the moment of receiving affections while you’re taking care of him but his tail will wag so you’ll know he’s enjoying it and he definitely wont protest.

Jack would care for you too in the more traditional masculine way of walking you to class and escorting you here and there

He’d show you the affection you desire but be verbally round aboit with it.

Holding out his jacket to you, he’d insist you take it, not in a very romantic way.. but still, he’s so easy to read you can tell how shy he was

3.Trey Clover

Trey would love your look!!

You would remind him of a cake

In fact, hed make a cake to match you as a suprise

Most likely as a gift for helping out ace and deuce despots what a pain they can be

He really appreciates how kind you can be and your willingness to help others

It really takes a load off his shoulders with the first years coming to you every now and then, he knows how much work they can be so a cake is the least he can do

Knowing your living situation in ramshackle and with Crowley’s LIMITED allowance hed take care of you subtly

Inviting you to join heartslabyul for tea and having you over to help with schoolwork

Hes be more forthright from time to time making you lunch and bringing you food

During tea times and unbirthday parties hed always invite you to sit next to him

He’d use that time to talk to you about how you’re doing, he notices how you’re always caring for others he needs to make sure you’re being looked after as well

During this time you might get into infodumping

He finds the way you get cute and would ask questions just to see you passionate

If you cook for him he’d love it! In fact, upon telling him that you cook he’d start inviting you over to help him out or offer to come help you out(he knows you’ve got enough in your plate) as an excuse to have some alone time together

Hes Great at comforting people so if something someone says hurts you you’ll have him to lean on

That being said he’s also an upperclassman and well respected

If he catches you hurt by what someone says he’ll wrap his arm around your waist to reassure you and ask the person what’s wrong and how he can resolve the issue

Trey gives dad jokes vibes he’d find your jokes endearing

From time to time hed I’m sure he’d even genuinely find them funny

Trey isnt used to being cared for the way you take care of him

Hes usually on the giving end but hardly ever the receiving, its special to him and he remembers each moment and is truly great full for it

Hed return the favor and care for you more, hes a good boyfriend so he’s always making sure to give what he gets

He loves when you help him take a break, the way you encourage him to take care of himself as well as remind him of how he matters reminds him of how lucky he was to have landed someone so caring

2. Rook Hunt

BEAUTÉ 100 POINTS

He finds you so cute! Your beauty is so different from Vil’s or Neige’s

You’re like a lone tulip adorned with dew in the morning shining brighter than the rest of the dull leaves

Hes Tell you that in more words and write you poems, be ready to receive many odes to your beauty

He’d love to hear you sing you have his full attention

In fact hed write poems and sonnets for you to read too

Your singing is so lovely, you must have a beautiful voice! He’d listen to you talk for HOURS just listening to your voice and taking in how beautiful you are while you speak

He loves the your stop and smell the roses attitude, he finds that it adds to your beauty

Your beautiful way of thinking adds to the depth of your beauty

Hell have fun looking within your kind spirit and discovering new beautiful things about you

He loves your ability to cook, he’d love to have you pack him something while he goes out hunting

Rook is a very passionate man and very knowledgable, you’d both end up info dumping on each other too, you’d say a lot of random stuff to each other that and neither of you would even be phased

The hopeless romantic part of you will definitely love being with rook

He’s writing you love letters, giving you flowers. His confession was likely intimate and private but also grand, a beauty for your eyes only

Rook also has a keen eye for beauty. He’d take you to see his favorite sights and sing to you of the beauty before him

He’d also take you hunting!

He understands if you’re not too keen on the actual hunting part. You can both hunt beauty with your eyes

Rook is good natured at heart though it’s hard to see with what he says

When he speaks it may come off as an insult but truly he just sees the beauty in your flaws and can’t help but comment on it

I Hope his positive tone comes through but hell definitely notice if it hurts you

“Mon amour! I meant it in the highest complements! You’re beauty but transgresses perfection and seeps into the cracks filling your beautiful form! Mais je suis désolé ma chérie.. I will refrain if it is what will make you smile most.”

Room would love to help you with your skin care routine! I know that sounds weird.. kinda because it is?

If you’d let him.. he’d wash your face for you, apply serum essence, your entire routine

He’s beaming the whole time like a giddy child but he’s also treating you delicately like he’s washing a porcelain doll.

He’s very Open to receiving affection and having you care for him. You wouldn’t have to question whether or not he appreciates it, it’s written all over him! .. and he’ll tell you how thankful he is

Room would follow you around like he worships the ground you walk on. You just keep on surprising him with the depth of your beauty, he can’t get enough!

1. Jade Leech

Princess and her capable butler vibes❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Jade would keep an eye on you out of pure curiosity at first.

You’d seldom find someone so willing to help others out of the goodness of their hearts like you would, especially at NRC

He follows you around finding your “obliviousness” entertaining. The way you cant See the danger you’re clearly putting yourself in

With all the aggressive students things can get ugly but before any of that would have happened, Jade would be stepping in to make sure things didn’t escalate (after he’s had his fill on entertainment)

You would thank him for his help and he’d inquire about your helping and positive attitude

“You do know that they’d just trying to take advantage of you right? Dont you? Why do you insist on helping them?”

After telling him about trying to bring out the best in others and only wanting to help them love themselves, Jade is even more dumbfounded

He finds it cute, from your character to your cute clothes, you truly are unique…

With Jade around people would know better than to hurt your feelings and if they were dumb enough to try to intentionally… well, you wouldn’t see it but Jade would handle it

Jade would love your singing and would love for you to sing for him on your dates

Are you an outdoorsy person? Because for dates he’d bring you out on hikes to show you all the beauty, from the scenery and landscape to the smallest dainty flowers

You wouldn’t have to worry about packing or holding your own bag Jade would hold it for you. Worried you might fall? Hell catch you don’t even worry there’s no way you’d even get a scratch when you’re with him.

While on your hike you might point out some things you like, flowers, trees anything really.

Hed make mental note of it and make a terrarium for you with what you found beautiful together

Hed decorate the outside too to make sure it was up to your standards. Pearls, lace, pink bows, it so cute!

Jade would dote on you too, not too much in gifts, you get them here and there but Jade is definitely a quality time/acts of service guy.

He’d sit down and just listen to you talk, talk about whatever! Info dumping, your day, especially your day, he wants to know where you are

You do so much for people, helping them build their self love but who’s doing that for you? Jade will.

He’d constantly tell you about how nice you look and what a nice thing you did, making sure to never overlook your achievements and congratulate you on each one.

He’d make you tea or some water to make sure you’re hydrated and something to eat while you talk to make sure you have enough energy

Then it’ll just be the two of you, talking and showing how much you love each other as well as making sure you both love yourselves

[alichach]

Today I decided to write this paper to express what I feel inside. Perhaps I may feel some relief, or these words may heal me from the psychological and internal pain that I am facing, and I do not reveal it to anyone. I just bear with all my strength to withstand. I came out unusually early. From home maybe an hour and a half before I have to go out to go to school🚶. Well then the reason I do this is one of my biggest fears fighting and strife 💥. This problem felt narrow and suffocated 😭 as if I no longer had oxygen in this universe 😵 and I no longer had enough energy to endure. I felt feelings of anger 🤬 and fear 😰 and tension 😱 and despite that I tried to stop myself from crying 🙁 I didn’t want that because they might ask me why. Crying does not mean weakness for me, but rather it increases my stamina and venting about everything inside me. I didn't want them to know that I was upset because they wouldn't really understand my feelings and wouldn't take them seriously. And my destination and the place I decided to go was the garden opposite my institute. It was fresh air 🍃 which refreshed me and the trees were beautiful 🌳 and varied in shapes and colors 🌴🌲🌵 and although it was a dirty little place 😹 there were empty cans and bottles on the green grass 🌱 This really spoiled the scene and on The road leading to the benches 🪑 is in this garden full of orange peels 🍊 and “Turkish hearts” some cigarettes 🚬. And when I looked at the sky I saw a breathtaking sight of its great beauty and splendor 🏞️ It was a shining sun and some beautifully shaped clouds wrapped around it 🌤️ And a few calm wind breezes 🌬️ I always say that nature always comforts me and forgets all the worries and miseries of the world and brings me back my lost breath. The place is very quiet and almost empty, and we only notice some passers-by on the road, including students 👭 and parents 🧕👩 🦰 and women are old 🧓are taking a break on benches on the other side after Their return from the market .they look tired of carrying some vegetables and food, and sometimes an old woman sits next to me and may tell me about a topic about life or the children of this generation or how exhausting it is to carry these heavy bags every day and my company with them really makes me very happy. Silence prevailed in the place, and you could only hear the footsteps of people passing by, or the sweet chirping of birds that tune into the ears of the listeners 🐦🎶. And anyone who was except for friends, family or an acquaintance comes to me in a predicament or in sadness or worries, so I try as much as I can to change a bad mood and make him happy ☺️ and he does not leave me except with a wide smile on his mouth 😄 and he may feel some reassurance perhaps and this also makes me happy a lot, but here I felt that I A magnet that attracts the negative energies of the people around me and gives them all that is positive.

But what about me?

Can I be like them, I mean to face their same negative and sad feelings, in fact I did not find anyone to comfort me in these moments. But despite that, I will know that I cannot express my feelings to anyone, but I store it for long periods of time inside me without revealing it to anyone. I couldn't find anything more to say. Let me think. No, now I feel comfortable for a while even though I know that after I leave the institute I will go home and what scares me 😨 is that they are still the same as I left them. And I will state that I am visiting a psychiatrist to help me overcome the psychological pain I feel, improve, and obtain the peace of mind that I once desired. And she is the one who told me about this way to face my fears and not take the wrong path and harm myself, which is to leave the place where I do not feel comfortable and go somewhere comfortable away from the noise and problems until they are finished. Her words were true in this respect, but what terrifies me is when night falls, where I will go, I cannot go out. But she said that there is another solution, which is to isolate in a room far from them and put music in a loud voice 🎵🥁 so that I do not listen to them, but this will not last long, as their voices still reach my ears. You were able to understand me more than any other “person” 🌟 even though it is just a piece of paper, but no matter what I write on it, you will not oppose me or judge me. Despite everything, praise be to God, I am still strong and able to endure more and nothing will prevent me from achieving my goals 😉. And last but not least, despite my inability to use a rich and eloquent lexicon, and this is because of my neglect to read books that may provide me with a sea of ​​words and sometimes I have an idea I have to write my own note. Now it's time for me to go, the bell rang and I had to enter my class...

I wrote this down on paper and rewrote it in my note on the phone so it didn't change today

Well it's a new day and now it's 16:46

And I decided to go back to the same place, I mean the park I went to yesterday, next to the institute, and things are the same as usual, the same recurring daily problems. My mood is not worse than yesterday, but I feel some annoyance 😞 and a little hungry 😅, and the park was empty I mean there were some people last day but now There are only some cats and ants under the seat I'm sitting on, collecting their goats and a white cat no and black too 🤔 is this a coincidence? And there were two friends on the other hand, or two lovers, I think.. And in the middle of the square there was a huge marble in the form of a square with the inscription: “The Square of Literature and the Book”, “Behring Al-Wadi”, Friday, November 17, “As for the year, it was not clear and located This park is next to the Municipal Palace, and in front of it is the institute where I study, and in the back is a basketball court.......

I stopped writing a little because I decided to stop and turn the other side of the park, I saw some of the people I know who study with me in the same class. I thought they might come to me and ask me why I was there and I had no desire to talk to anyone 😔 I came back to the same seat and after a few moments of sitting I saw my aunt coming on the other side of the road. She said to me: "Are you crazy? How do you sit alone in this empty place? Don't you know that this is dangerous for you? The conditions in our society have become frightening and there are many criminals and thugs." In the streets”... Her words were true somehow 😐 But I only had this shelter to comfort myself 😕.. And we decided to go home and it was about 17:18. I do not currently want to talk about the cause of the problems because this is somewhat private. This does not mean that I will not mention the reason later when I complete my paper, or I mean, can it be called a memorandum?

To meet my loved ones, I will complete the next day or when I have another chance to write.. I know that everything I have written so far is negative, but I still have hope and my condition may improve and change my writing style and mention everything that is positive and joyful for myself....

Finally I'm really sorry for any grammatical mistakes because English is not my Natal language

So I'm trying my best and using a translator .🥺🥰