#sara’s intoxicated thoughts

[romeowho]

omg, Tyler Alvarez is just playing an older Peter in Blockbuster, and this definitely feels like that one fanfic except no Sam. Griffin Gluck should guest star as his boyfriend childhood friend

[digitaldiarystuff]

Age Doesn’t Matter (or does it?)

hi it’s me again and I’m soo happy about all the likes my stories have been getting, I would also love some requests maybe if I can picture them in my head like maybe descriptions and players, I actually have an idea in my mind for a long ass angst that deals with cheating but I don’t know who to write it for :( Also, enjoyy!

summary: You meet a boy at a club on a night out but realize he looks younger than he says he is

pairing: Pablo Gavi x Y/N

genre: fluff

————

“Come on Sara, we’re late!” you yell up the stairs while tying your shoes. This is a night out with the girls because the 4 of you are single for the first time and it was Annie’s 24’th birthday.

“Ok ok I’m ready.” she says while putting on her earrings and running down the stairs.

You arrive at the club soon after and pay the taxi. You get in and try to find your friends but soon Sara pulls you to the bar.

“We’ll eventually find them let’s take shots!” she scream and you join laughing.

It is like 5 or 6 shots in at the moment and you don’t even have a good sense of self. You laugh uncontrollably with her and your other friends and have the time of your life until you really have to use the bathroom. You know it’s unsanitary but you can’t care right now.

The line for the women’s bathroom is excruciatingly long and the mens’ is empty and you decide nothing’d happen if you just use that one instead.

You open the door without knocking and shocked to see a guy who is washing his hands looking at you with the same shock.

“Can I help you?” he asks not sure how to feel.

“Um, the line for the women’s is long and I really have to pee.” you admitted not caring if you look desperate, you are.

“Oh, okay let me just step out and you can use it.” he said and left.

You are so intoxicated but you still realize this boy looks incredibly hot, you smile and thank him.

After you’re done and washed your hands, you step out to find him still standing there.

“You didn’t leave?” you ask curiously.

“The door, uhm, it doesn’t lock so I didn’t want someone to walk in on you.” he admitted shyly scratching the back of his head. Before you thought he was cute but after seeing his arm muscles, he was hot and so were you.

“That’s so thoughtful, thank you. I’m Y/N.” you extended your hand and he takes it with a heartbeat.

“I’m Pablo.” he just said.

“So Pablo, it was nice sharing this bathroom story with you but I have to get back to my friends.” you said because every second you were getting more and more aware of your surroundings and wanted to find your friends.

“Oh okay.” he says sounding down. “Let me walk you to them.”

You walked together and he helped you get through sweaty dancing bodies around you. He was a true gentleman but as the lights of the club shined brighter, you saw his features and realized he may even be younger than you expected him to be.

You introduce your friends to him and watch them interact for a moment before he decides to get back to his friends at the booth, he invited you all but you didn’t know him that well to accept this invitation.

“So I guess I should go.” he says but you can tell he doesn’t want to. His arm is around your waist still from walking you. You noticed some girls eyeing you and giving you glares, thinking maybe they also liked Pablo or knew him from somewhere but to be honest, you were too drunk to care.

“Or maybe you could dance with me.” you suggested and even in the club setting, you can see his cheeks heat up.

He smiles and takes you to the dance floor holding you close, you’re both smiling and your arms around his neck. His hands slowly made their way to your hips and your foreheads pressed together, your bodies moving to the rhythm. It’s like electricity’s coursing through your bodies and everything else didn’t matter but as he’s leaning in, you just have a question.

“How old are you?” you ask completely ruining the mood but this was a pet peeve of yours, you don’t date younger guys.

“I’m 22” he says without thinking and since you’re 23, that’s not too bad. He must be one of those guys who’s babyface like JB. You shrugged it off.

“Can I kiss you now?” he asks wanting to create the moment you ruined back.

You smile and he leans in to capture your lips with his, it’s the best kiss you’ve had in a while. He guides you and uses just enough strength, still holding your body slowly dancing. He puts his hand on the hem of your dress slowly inching up and you gasp in surprise, he uses this opportunity to push his tongue inside your mouth and deepen the kiss. Your hands pull on the hairs on his neck as you felt over the moon, Pablo was too good with his hands and lips.

You pulled away after a few minutes, trying to catch your breath as he smiles at you. You smile back hoping this was as good for him as it’s good for you. Just as he’s leaning again and proving it was as good, Sara ran up to you saying she has work tomorrow and she has to leave. You know you can’t leave her alone in this drunken state and considering she’s your roommate why bother with 2 ubers when you can leave together but you weren’t exactly ready to say bye to Pablo.

He looks at you with piercing eyes, trying to read if you’re really leaving but you pout your lips as you explain it to him, he’s not happy but doesn’t do anything to stop you and slowly takes his hands off of you meanwhile the three of you are walking outside.

“Can I at least get your number so we can finish what we started another day?” he asks in a suggestive tone. You look at him and know you’re dying to do it so pick his phone off his hands and write down your number. He smiles and presses one last kiss to your lips before letting you and Sara get in the car and drive off.

You smile to yourself at how everything went down tonight, Pablo is nothing like you’ve ever been with before and he’s so refreshing you hoped he would text you, even if it’s totally sexual. You normally never do this, this is not you but his soft brown hair and those eyes looking into your soul made your knees go weak and you mind go numb. You wanted to see him again.

And your prayers are answered after you go into your room and had a quick shower to wash off the club scent off your body. He texted you.

“Did you make it to home safely?” he just said and you smiled to yourself at how thoughtful he is.

“Hello to you too Pablo, yes don’t worry. What about you?” you asked

“Me too, just in.”

You talked for a few minutes back and forth until his replies stopped and you figure he’s fallen asleep.

You decide to watch some reels before falling asleep yourself, going on insta and while going through some stories, you come across with suggested profiles, including Pablo’s. Your mouth fall to floor as you see his picture with a Barcelona shirt on and click on his profile, discovering he’s a football player for the team and realize what those looks at the club for. They weren’t because those girls wanted him, well maybe it was but it was also because they were shocked to see a footballer with a girl. You never cared about football so it’s natural you didn’t realize he was the Pablo Gavi but he didn’t mention it either.

You decide if he didn’t want you to know, you shouldn’t pry in his life further. Maybe he liked not being recognized so you go to click off his page until you see a birthday post he did in august. You smile at how happy he looks and read the caption about thanking everyone wishing him a happy birthday until you see a hashtag.

#19

You send him a final text before your eyes close and you drift to sleep.

“Really, you’re 19???”

[genshinimpactlife]

Yes Mistress

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Arataki Itto x Mistress Reader NSFW 1.1k

Itto and his lover were quite the sight to see, with him towering over the fragile girl in every way. Nobody could have pictured the two of them together, such a quiet and timid girl paired with the loud and obnoxious Itto? Impossible. They say that polar opposites attract, and the pair backed up that claim in this case. But it was always the quiet ones that held a secret, and it was no different for his lover.

She loved how the red ropes rubbed against Itto’s skin, his constant wiggling causing rope burns to form on his flesh. She spent a long time picking out these ropes, specifically making sure they would match the red of his skin and horns, wanting to make a masterpiece out of him. She took her time weaving them across his body, creating an intricate design along his chest as he stood there quietly. She had him well trained behind doors, keeping quiet and doing what she asked without question. To finish off, she stood behind Itto, gently running her hands down his arms and leading them behind his back. With the last couple of inches of rope, she weaved it around his arms, securing them in place. She took care to make sure he could still move so as not to accidentally injure him with what was to come. The last step was the blindfold, matching the rope with its red hue, which was quickly tied around his head.

“Tell me Itto…Why are you being punished today?”

“Because I…”

“Speak up!” His lover interrupted him, her voice’s harsh tone different from her usual meek voice. “You did a good job of speaking up earlier right? When you spent thirty minutes in the plaza yelling at people to join the Arataki gang? Bothering everyone trying to go about their day.

Itto had nothing to say because he knew he was in the wrong. Sara Kujou had already yelled at him not to do it… so this time, when he was caught, he was escorted home to where his lover was enjoying a peaceful day alone. She had to pay to have him released into her custody, and he knew he was in trouble by the look on her face.

By now, his cock was unbearably hard, but his lover was one to draw things out and make sure he understood what he had done wrong.

“No response? Have you already gone stupid in the brain? Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Does the thought of punishment make you that excited?”

“Yes”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Mistress”

“Good boy… it seems you still have a brain in there.”

Itto, unable to see, relied on sound alone as he heard the shuffling of clothes. No doubt his lover had taken a moment to slip her dress off, and he cursed the fact that he couldn’t see her right now. He was obsessed with her body; each gentle curve was intoxicating to him. He could stare for hours and never get bored. It was part of the reason she blindfolded him during punishments, taking away that enjoyment for him.

The next sound he heard was the footsteps of his lover walking across the room, shuffling around for a moment before she dragged something heavy toward him. The edge of the chair hit the back of his knees, silently telling him to sit down on the chair, which he did.

He didn’t know what she was planning, but the last thing he expected was her presence between his legs, her hands resting on his thighs as she dropped to her knees. He didn’t dare speak a word, not wanting to risk ruining this moment. As she slowly tugged down the waistband of his pants, he started to wonder if she decided not to punish him . It wouldn’t be like her to do that, but he wasn’t complaining.

Shivers went up Itto’s spine when her hand wrapped around the base of his now free cock, the tip already swollen and red with need. Her tongue gently lapped at the pre-cum that had beaded on his tip, which made Itto groan almost immediately. She didn’t stop there, slowly taking the tip in her mouth and swirling her tongue around it. She took her time with it, slowly taking each inch of his cock in her mouth, stroking the rest that wouldn’t fit. His sounds were like music to her ears, his quiet groans, the whimpers he tried to hold back. She was playing him like a fiddle with her mouth, and it wasn’t long before his orgasm was building.

“Mistress… ngh, please!” Itto managed to sputter out, struggling not to buck his hips up into her mouth as he desperately wanted. His cock was twitching in her mouth, and he was just seconds away from an orgasm when suddenly, everything was gone. No hand stroking his cock, no mouth skillfully sucking, only the room’s cool air against his hot length. It was such a sudden shock to his system that he gasped, his cock violently twitching as his orgasm started to fade.

“Oh, did you think I would let you cum that soon? Oh no, we just started Itto… and you’ll be a good boy and take it.”

------------

How long had it been... Minutes? Hours? Itto lost track, unable to focus on anything but his lover’s hot mouth around his cock. She had been torturing him for so long, switching between stroking him and using her mouth moments before he would cum. Itto was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt like he had been running for hours; every muscle ached from the tension building over and over in his body.

“Please, Mistress! I’ll be good! I won’t cause any problems for you!” He had been begging like this since she first edged him, desperate to reach his end.

“Really? Do you think you deserve it, Itto?”

“I do! I do!” He was desperate, his voice coming out whiny and breathless. He was utterly dumb for her, nothing more than a pitiful mess begging to be brought to his release. She loved seeing him like this, his usually boisterous personality reduced to nothing more than a man desperate for his lover’s hands. It spurred her on as she pulled her head away from his cock, stroking it faster.

“Come for me Itto.”

He thought that he had misheard her at first, but as soon as Itto realized he had her permission, he came with a cry. His cum sprayed onto his chest and ran down his lover’s hand, creating a mess. It was pure bliss, finally reaching that orgasm he had been denied for so long. His lover stroked him through his high, helping him come down slowly after such a rush. The next moment she removed the blindfold, he finally got to look at his beautiful lover. She looked as much of a mess as he was, sweat building on her brow, saliva smeared across her lips, and even some running down her chin.

Maybe Punishments weren’t so bad with his Mistress.

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[balanchine-ballet-master]

Russell Janzen on Retiring

Russell Janzen in Balanchine's Davidsbundlertänze, 2014. Photo: Paul Kolnik via DanceTabs

Russell Janzen gave his last performance with the New York City Ballet last Sunday, partnering Sara Mearns in the Diamonds section of Jewels. He published his thoughts on retiring in The New York Times.

On Leaving the Life of the Body: A Dancer Reports

“I know that I am about to give up one of my primary ways of being me,” Russell Janzen writes about retiring from New York City Ballet after 16 years.

By Russell Janzen

It is one of my last ballet classes as a professional dancer. Halfway through barre we do rond de jambes—an exercise in which you paint half circles on the floor with your toes. The teacher, Gonzalo Garcia, sets a combination that sweeps back and forth as we transfer our weight from one foot to the next, our arms swinging to amplify our movements.

Extending through to the tips of my fingers and reaching my legs long I feel expansive. It’s not exactly that I feel free—I am doing a prescribed exercise, holding onto a wooden bar—but the stretch of my body and the rumbling swells of the music create a sense of rightness and liberation. I feel present and energized, my body alive. The pleasure of this moment is a relief; it’s a sensation I am forever pursuing, because at the best of times dancing can make me feel whole and wholly myself. On Sunday, I will retire from New York City Ballet after 16 years with the company. I have spent over a year preparing myself, and I am ready. But I know that I am about to give up one of my primary ways of being me.

“As dancers, we become our bodies, in ways both gratifying and reductive.” Photo: Jingyu Lin for The New York Times

My specific physical capabilities—the particular functioning of my muscles, joints, bones and tendons—have been essential to my livelihood. And to my happiness, too, because in moments of alignment and control my body is not just the vessel for my self-expression, it is the expression itself.

So I wonder: Who will I be when my body is no longer shaped by turning out and jumping and lifting? What will I like to do when I don’t have to save my back or my calves or my feet for the next night, the next week, the next month? And how will I feel after these final shows: Like I’m getting my body back, or like I’m losing it?

In spring 2019, I danced the central duet in Justin Peck’s “Rodeo" for the first time. The debut came at one of these sweet spots in my career: I was dancing the way I had always wanted to dance. I wasn’t doing everything perfectly, I still had nerves—and I can’t speak to how I looked—but I felt in control in a way I never had before. I just felt good in my body. Settled.

In the first performance, my partner Sara Mearns and I walked out onstage, and when the music started it was slower than we had rehearsed. Much slower. Sara gave me a look like, “Oh, boy.” That look was both an eye roll aimed at the conductor and an invitation to meet the challenge he had set for us. I smiled at Sara as if we weren’t in front of thousands of people and pushed her into the air, higher than we’d practiced—and then I launched myself after her and we danced.

Russell Janzen with Sara Mearns in Diamonds. Photo: Erin Baiano via the NY Times

But it didn’t feel like dancing. It felt like living, in a heightened, intoxicating way. It felt like we were the music, and the dance. We were ourselves in the most essential and simple way but also we were something more, something bigger. We were dancing. And I don’t mean that as a verb; I mean it as a noun. We were all that dancing could be in that moment, to that music, on that stage.

Of course we were also wearing lots of makeup and we were sweating and trying to point our feet and stand tall, and I was trying to keep her on balance and she was trying to hold up her leg. But we were not thinking about this trying, we were just being, and it felt so right.

Throughout my career there have been many moments like this, when how I feel in my body makes my dancing seem inseparable from myself. Sometimes these moments are brief, lasting just one entrance or one class, other times I can hold onto the feeling for weeks.

Janzen partnering Teresa Reichlen in Balanchine’s Agon in 2019. Photo: Erin Baiano via the NY Times

As dancers, we become our bodies, in ways both gratifying and reductive. We always deal with pain and tightness — navigating physical limitations is a part of this art form — but when muscles cooperate, and choreography feels natural, even grappling with the body’s capabilities offers rewards.

This intense relationship with my physicality has been fulfilling, a gift. And yet being tied to my body in this way has also been restrictive and often disappointing.

I spent my first six years with the company cycling through career-pausing injuries, never staying healthy long enough to gain much momentum. At a certain point my body became more manageable and I gained traction in my career — dancing bigger roles, being promoted to soloist, then principal.

But the injuries continued: a tear in my shoulder, a sticky rib, a trouble spot in my spine that persists, ankle sprains, back spasms. Ballet is punishing on most every body, but at 6-foot-3 I am not compact. My height and length can look impressive onstage, but my body doesn’t always absorb the impact of dancing and partnering well, making me — and my spine especially — susceptible to injury and strain.

It’s thanks to a fleet of physical therapists and movement specialists that I danced as much as I did. I spent hours each day doing exercises, taking preventive measures to protect my back and prepare my body for what I had to do each night. In order for me to dance, my body — its needs, aches and peculiarities — dictated everything: how long I sat, how I slept, how I traveled, how I dated, how I spent time with my family, how I relaxed, how I lived.

Janzen in Peter Martins's staging of The Sleeping Beauty, Act II, 2017. Photo: Paul Kolnik via Dance Informa

Relying on my body in the way I’ve needed to has meant sacrifices and pain. Sacrifices and pain that were frustrating but worth it because of onstage experiences like “Rodeo,” because I got to dance ballets I always dreamed of dancing: Jerome Robbins’s “Dances at a Gathering”; George Balanchine’s “Agon,” “Swan Lake,” “Diamonds.” And because of the dancers with whom I shared the stage.

Since late fall of 2019 I have had two new injuries — one in my ankle and one in my knee — that again kept me from ballet. Now that my dancing body has been going for decades, the recoveries have been challenging. I’m 34; healing takes longer than when I was 19, and when I am deemed ready to go back onstage my body doesn’t feel like it did before. I’m told it likely won’t again.

Martha Graham famously said that a dancer dies twice, the first time when they stop dancing — when the body can no longer do what it once did. It’s this first death, she said, that is more difficult. And this is where I am now. No longer able to do what I once did.

Janzen and Ashley Bouder filming Balanchine’s “Duo Concertant” for Sofia Coppola in 2021. Photo: Erin Baiano via the NY Times

With the latest injury, a patellar tear, I chose to dance until it proved too painful and so had months to prepare myself for the time off. I made plans, I gave myself projects, I had a loving support system. And yet while I was healing there was a part of me that felt like I was waiting for my life to restart. So much of my life as a dancer has been spent waiting to live, biding time or saving myself for when I am out onstage again dancing. Waiting for my body to once again be able to do what I need it to do to feel like me.

I have had enough rewarding shows in the last year to know that I could continue dancing—shift how I approach the work and find new meaning in a more limited repertoire. But I’m ready to stop. I am ready to pay attention to something new, to reorient my relationship to myself and to those around me. My body, my dancing body, has been the part of me I have prioritized above all else for over 16 years—the part to which I have given the most attention and care. And I don’t want to pay attention to my body in this way anymore, with my physicality and ever-increasing limitations dictating how I live both onstage and off.

Janzen in Pam Tanowitz's Law of Mosaics. Photo: Erin Baiano via Gramilano

There is much loss in this first death. I will not diminish the grief and sadness of this time, but as I’m nearing the final moments of my dance career I’m also thinking about how this ending means I get to have another life, one with different kinds of freedom.

After finishing dancing I plan to pursue a degree in social work. I don’t have much of a sense of what this will look like or where it will lead me, but I know that it will offer me an entirely different framework through which I might understand and experience the world. Rather than narrowing in again on something specific, my hope is that this will be a time of exploration, an opening up of possibilities.

As I am writing this, I have three remaining performances including my retirement show. I’ll be dancing “Diamonds” in Balanchine’s “Jewels,” a ballet that has taken me through my entire career. It was my first ballet with the company (aside from “The Nutcracker”). And in 2014 the principal role, which I’ll be retiring with, was one of my first really major parts.

“Diamonds” ends in an epic display of grandiosity and classicism. Thirty-six dancers move in shifting patterns—turning, jumping, and polonaising around the stage. In one of the last moments the entire cast moves in unison. All the dancers unfurl a leg into an extended line in front of them, foot pointed and rotated, displayed for the audience: Look at our feet and our legs, look at these bodies of ours. Watch us dance and see how this life, our dedication, and our passion has shaped us.

On Sunday, while my back might be tight, and my knee might not bend as pliantly as it once did, my body won’t be failing me. This is my body now, after 16 years dancing the greatest ballets. In these last shows I will get to support a treasured partner, dance with people I’ve known for much of my life, and propel myself into the air and around the stage. I will get to be in my body, in whatever state it is in, in a way that I love, using it to take me through the contours and shapes of one of my favorite dances. Then the curtain will come down, and I will move on to something new.

Sara Mearns and Janzen in Balanchine's Chaconne, 2014. Photo: Paul Kolnik via Pinterest

[stranger-marauders]

unbreakable

seven: the aftermath

chapter summary: After the party, Kate finds she has more than a hangover.

chapter warnings: alcohol intoxication, steve being a bad friend

word count: 2.1k

series masterlist | masterlist

WHEN STEVE AND Nancy had finally made it to his room, they had found Kate wearing only his dark blue sweatshirt and passed out in his bed.

Nancy hadn't pictured Steve's room in her mind perfectly compared to the actual room, but she'd been pretty close. She had pinned the dark blue bedding, and the light-wooded furniture, but she hadn't pinned down the checkered wallpaper in his room, nor would she have assumed he'd have so many pictures of him and Kate in his room. The blonde girl in his bed had almost been perfect—she'd been in all of his pictures, of course she'd be in his bed, too.

Steve, however, immediately laughed at the sight of his best friend, almost as if he were trying to ease the tension of the room. He didn't know if he had laughed because of his nervousness, because he was worried about her, or even because he was just tipsy and everything was funny right now, but he went with it. "I'm gonna take her down the hall."

Nancy nodded. "I... I think I'll go ahead and change."

Steve had no idea that by the time he would come back, Nancy definitely would not be changed into drier clothing.

Without another word, Steve scooped Kate into her arms, carrying her into the guest bedroom across the hall from his.

When the Hoppers and the Harringtons had travelled together when they were younger, Steve and Kate had always slept in the same bed (of course, leaving Sara out, because they were the "big kids"). When they hit middle school, their parents had told the two children that it wasn't exactly appropriate for them to be sleeping in the same bed anymore. It hadn't proven to be too much of a problem until Kate and her father had moved to Hawkins the summer before seventh grade began, which was when that rule had been emphasized even more. Of course, Steve and Kate had hardly ever listened to their parents unless his mother or her father had come to check on them and one of them had fallen asleep. If it had been Steve's mother who had checked on them, then Kate would move to the guest bedroom across from Steve's own bedroom (because, back then, Steve had always fallen asleep first). 

That night, however, when Steve put Kate to bed, something that he thought was a first for the two of them, Kate wasn't as asleep as she had appeared to be. When he'd dropped her into the bed, pulling the comforter on top of her, she mumbled something, but Steve could barely make it out. "St–Steve..."

He sat next to the somewhat unconscious girl in the bed. "Kathy?"

"Steve...," she repeated slowly. She mumbled something again before rolling over, but once again, he'd missed her say, "I love you."

He shook his head. He knew that anything coming out of Kate's mouth for the rest of the night wouldn't be right, so he decided to leave her alone so she could sleep until the next morning: he knew that tomorrow she had a rough day ahead of her, considering her hangover would most likely be terrible (as the first one was always the worst), but he wanted to prevent her from having an even worse one. "Goodnight, Kathy."

As he walked off to greet Nancy again, hoping that maybe the night for them wouldn't be ruined, Kate slept all of her troubles away, Tommy and Carol were doing what they always did at events like this one, and Barbara Holland was gone, never to be seen alive again.

When he'd finally gotten home after a long night of searching, Hopper had panicked when he hadn't found Kate in her room.

Of course, he quickly remembered that she had been staying at Steve's for the night, and most of his worry for her as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator (of course, he always worried about his daughter, but it came in waves).

Most parents, especially in small towns like Hawkins, would have raised an eye at their daughter going to a boy's house, especially for the night. Realistically, Hopper would have too if it would have been anyone but Steve.

Even though he had been a boy, it was still Steve. He'd known the kid for almost his entire life. Hopper knew that even if the kid acted like an ass sometimes, he wasn't near as much of one as he let on to be.

In recent years, the boy had made Hopper wary of him. Steve's slight dickishness had never been what made him wary, though—Hopper had been wary of him because the kid reminded him so much of himself whenever he had been in high school. He knew that even if Steve had been somewhat of a handful sometimes, he knew the kid, more than anything, cared about his own kid, so he would let it slide, no matter what.

Even so, Hopper would always worry about his daughter, even if he knew she was safe.

With everything that had happened in the past couple of days, which had felt like weeks—Joyce Byers's kid going missing, Benny shooting himself in the head—for the first time in a long time, Hopper had been scared. The man had been riddled with anxiety when he got home and when he left for work again because he knew, even if for now she had been safe, he would be so much worse off if he lost her, too. He knew that it wasn't just him that was nervous, because every time he'd been around Kate, he'd sensed her on edge since Will had gone missing. He'd rather have her worried than missing, though, never mind even possibly gone for good.

Hopper didn't know what he'd do with himself if anything happened to Kate—maybe he'd finally lose it once and for all.

Kate woke up the next morning with a splitting migraine.

She groaned, realizing she'd somehow ended up in the guest bedroom across the hall from Steve's room. When she'd finally been able to open her eyes for more than a moment or two, everything had seemed so bright, especially with the sun beginning to peek through the window. She looked to the bedside table only to find two aspirin and a glass of water.

Steve.

Whenever she'd made it downstairs, she quickly found Steve in the kitchen.

He had already taken a shower, dealing with the Hair situation presumably before the sun had even risen. He'd even gotten dressed already, and now in his morning routine, he was making himself a bowl of cereal.

Before too long, he had recognized her presence, feeling her stare. "You feeling okay?"

"What?" she asked, getting snapped out of her gaze. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, just a headache, that's all."

"That's it?"

"Well, I mean, my eyes sting, but I haven't decided if that's because of the alcohol or because of the fact that I'm looking at you right now," she said, smiling smugly.

He shook his head, trying to fight off his own smile. "You think you're so funny."

"Just a little bit. Funnier than you, anyway," she said, taking a seat next to him. "I probably smell like beer right now."

"Oh yeah. Totally," he said, taking another bite of Cheerios. "Nothing a shower won't fix, though."

"Yeah, probably." She stood up, rubbing her face before she looked down at her watch.

"Hurry up or you'll run out of time. I do not want to deal with your stench all day."

She rolled her eyes, pressing her lips together. "Thanks, asshole."

Without another word, she trotted along upstairs to the bathroom, hoping nothing more than to wash the stench, as he'd so lovingly put it, of last night off her body.

Kate's migraine still hadn't cleared by the time she and Steve had gotten to school.

"What the hell did I even do last night?" Kate asked. While the aspirin had helped slightly, her head still throbbed. The light inside had even still been a little too bright for her liking, but her sensitivity to them had slowly started to clear.

The boy only laughed at his best friend as he watched her try to navigate her first hangover. In terms of hangovers, hers hadn't been so bad. She had woken up with a bad migraine, which had been much better than his first hangover, quite possibly even better than some of his more recent ones. "Uh, what do you remember?"

"Kinda goes blank after Nancy and Barbara showed up," she replied, shrugging slightly. "I remember the wine, I remember the first couple of beers, but I pretty much was blacked out by the time they actually got there."

"Well, would you like to be enlightened on what drunk you is like?"

She hesitated, eventually shrugging. "Sure, why not."

He laughed uneasily. "All right, so you stripped in front of everyone, swam in the pool, and shotgunned a beer, so you're missing a lot in there. I think you also became friends with Barbara somehow?"

She laughed until she looked at his face again, which still carried the same worried expression. "Wait, you're not kidding?"

He nodded, his expression turning to a slightly horrified one. "No, I'm not. It was terrifying, honestly." 

She sighed, putting her head in her hand. "Steve, never under any circumstances let me ever do that again."

He nodded again, chuckling slightly. "Gladly. I don't want to witness that again."

Kate hesitated to ask another question. "You know what Nancy's friend and I were talking about?"

Steve shook his head. "I have no idea. You could probably ask her if you see her today. You'll probably end up remembering it all by next week, though, so don't worry about it. That's how it goes for me, anyway."

She stifled a laugh. "Oh yeah? And how does that work out for you?"

He gave her an unreadable expression. "It depends on where I was, I guess. Let's just say I never recommend getting shitfaced after doing a keg. Just a simple word of advice."

Even though she'd laughed at his comment, he would never understand how much she'd been feeling at the moment. Kate would never tell him, but she had been disappointed in the fact that he'd let her do all of those things. She couldn't remember how many times at parties they'd gone to together that she had to stop him from embarrassing himself, or at least embarrassing himself more than he already had been. She couldn't believe that he'd let her do those things, especially all in one night. Of course, she had absolutely no recollection of his multiple attempts to stop her.

Steve, as they roamed the hallways, had finally found Nancy at her locker. "I hate to leave you, but I should, I... probably go and talk to her. About last night."

Kate run her fingers through her hair. She didn't even want to ask—she knew what had happened last night, but she asked anyway. "So, you guys did it, huh?"

He shoved her lightly before walking off and smiling. "Shut up."

Kate, however, hadn't smiled, and only stared at the boy as she thought through why she had cared so much about him in the first place.

As she walked to her first period class, hoping to find Jessica and Kim, Kate started to realize how much Steve had disappointed her, how wrong he'd been to her, felt to her for a while. She hadn't ever truly wanted to admit it, but she could only take so much of the endless stream of girls that always seemed to want to sleep with him, and all of it just so he could get another notch on his belt. She was tired of Steve always sacrificing her for his thrown at Hawkins High. To Kate, none of it mattered. All of it was stupid, just like him, and after the previous night's events, she knew that even if she was doing something completely and utterly out of the ordinary (at least, out of the ordinary for her), he wouldn't care in the slightest.

At that moment, that hurt Kate, possibly more than anything else in the entire world.

next chapter

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[shintin]

Her: A Memoir Chapter 4 (Treasure)

↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

— Hey, Hi. How are you doing? I'm not sure who you are or where you live, but I didn't have anyone to tell my story to. You mind if I write it down for you? You have time to hear it?

Everything started from the day he became my best friend. My one and only. We grew up without a mother, father, and family except each other. We ate together, played together, and laughed together. On the cold nights of the orphanage, he was the one who lent me his blanket, and I was the one who kissed his wounds after every fight. His blue eyes smiled at me for 17 years, and my heart carried his love no question asked.

Life was no fairytale, but none of it mattered. I had him, and he had me. But it didn't last forever.

I could never forget that cold autumn afternoon. I stood in the crowded corridor of that hospital and cried over his test results. He had cancer, and my only thought was how to prevent death by doing us part.

You know, I was in love with him, and I was willing to do whatever it takes to keep that damn smile on his lips, even if I wasn't going to be able to see it anymore.

I have no regrets about the unforgiving things I did out of love.

I love him, and I had and held him, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, but … doesn't matter anymore.

Be happy with her, my Satoru.

Genre: heavy angst, cancer, modern au, (+18).

Tags/Warnings: Graphic depiction of rape (spoiler: don't worry), heavy angst.

Author Note: She was only 16 years old when it happened.

Song Recommendation: Sara Bareilles - She Used To Be Mine

Chapter Index -> Next chapter

Year: 2014

The school pool was located across the courtyard in a newly constructed hangar with an elevated roof. The floor was covered with beautiful blue tiles that enhanced the color of the water. Ocean blue, Like his eyes. Something I really liked about the place.

My best days were when I ran across the soccer field and made my way into swimming class. I was a good swimmer with a promising future. It felt good to be good at something, intoxicating. But the bug in the creation system and the idle gods above the skies caught me off guard. They never ask your opinion when they write about your destiny. They say we have "the right" to change our own fate. I say fuck them all. Orphans don't have such luxury. Otherwise, I would never have wanted that doom of deep shit for myself.

"Girls, class is over! Don't leave your stuff in the pool! See you all on Monday and enjoy the weekend!"  Throwing her towel over her shoulder, the coach waved to the students and walked to the locker room with a smile. As she left, the students took turns pulling themselves out of the pool, and the water splatters echoed in the ample enclosed space.

Y/N came out of the water in the farthest corner and sat on the poolside. The water slowly flowed out of her hair on her shoulders and found itself between her breasts, now wholly blossomed. Her delicate fingers crawled through her wet hair and pushed it back. Her eyes were closed, and under the sunlight that crept in from the window corner, her rosy lips were more defined on her pale face, granting her more innocence than the angels of the seven heavens.

Hearing loud laughter, she opened her eyes and, without looking at the girls gathered on the other side of the pool, started doing her post-swim practices, stretching her arms to massaging her muscles for good measure of time. Not because she was self-absorbed or a selfish bitch; no, she just didn't like Mean Girls movie's reincarnation company. To be honest, they didn't like her much either. Kind of heart speaks to a heart condition.

After ensuring that her right groin wouldn't hurt at night, Y/N stood up and headed towards the locker room, still ignoring the girls. She opened her locker, and after grabbing the towel, her hands quickly went into her backpack and picked up her phone. A smile set upon her face as soon as her eyes fell on the screen, on her best friend's name, his nickname.

Windex: I'll be about half an hour late. The coach wants to give us a silly pep talk :(

Windex: I hate basketball!!!

Windex: I'd rather take a swim class with you. Peeping girls with you, while they are in their bathing suits could be our special bonding ritual :( :( :(

Windex: I have to go! Make sure you dry your hair. I don't want to catch a cold again.

Windex: I wish you were here, Y/N.

Her eyes read the last message over and over again, until each letter was forever engraved in the hypothalamus of her brain, where no one could reach it, no one could take it from her— her treasures.

I didn't have a boyfriend. I mean, when your parents drop you off at the orphanage door from day one, you grow up with the idea that you're not lovable. Let's not forget the trust issues. (Also, for the record, I was sure I'm not gay somehow. Since I preferred to look at basketball players' legs and buttocks than cheerleaders' asses.)

It seems that in the midst of Big Bang and all the other bullshit, a glitch happened, because Satoru broke my curse and became the first person to gain my trust with his warm friendship. But unfortunately, as someone who had been deprived of love her whole life, I added extra meanings to his actions, to his words… I told myself that if I kept these sweet dreams to myself, they wouldn't hurt anyone. How was a high school girl supposed to know that it would bite her own ass in the end?

Y/N's smile got more prominent, and the butterflies started floating in her stomach as her fingers started typing.

Smiley: You're a walking nut, Satoru!

Smiley: Meet you out front at the basketball court.

Smiley: Please, just take a shower! You stink after matches!

After pushing the send button, she lazily sat on the bench and started scrolling through her social media accounts to kill time.

It is a fact that no matter how much a person tries to be invisible, in the end, their presence will become a thorn in the eye of another. Y/N was no exception when it was a matter of bad luck.

"She is like the gum beneath Satoru's shoe!"

Y/N's eyes widened, but they kept staring at the phone. Were they talking about her?

"I can't even tell what he sees in her! Does he have no eyes? How he can't see a good-looking girl like me!"

She knew the owner of the voice, the president of the Mean Girls community.

"That's got to be an orphan thing. Otherwise, there's no reason for a basketball player like him to be friends with a normal girl like her!"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. All she had to do was count back 10 to 1, and everything would be sorted out. Otherwise, she would count backward from 15, 20, 25, 30, and even 100.

She sighed.

Ten

She had well learned these rituals of suppressing anger by practice and repetition, for this was not the first time she had been exposed to such words.

Nine

Satoru becoming one of the school's popular basketball players was the starting point of the girls' backbites.

Eight

Puberty was kind to him, turning him from a white-haired weirdo into a prince fucking charming who set these hot to trot girls' loins on fire.

Seven

She couldn't care less about them.

Six

Where were they when no one wanted to eat with him at the same table?

Five

Were they around when that little boy jolted awake drenched in sweats?

Four

Did they know how to whisper "I'm here, all is well, Satoru" in his ear to make his nightmares disappear?

Three

No. They didn't, but she did.

Two

Nine years wasn't a short time for her to learn about all his curves and sharp edges, was it?

One

She shook her head, slowly her fist parted, and her fingers released.

You probably feel like you know me now and have a sense of who I am and my background. But you don't know, not exactly.

It's hard to tell. Most days, I don't recognize myself. These shoes, this dress, this house, and the pictures on the walls have taken more than I gave them.

I'm no longer like I used to be. Although, indeed, I was never a sweet attention center. I still remember the girl who was imperfect, but she tried. She was good, but she lied. She was brutal with herself. She got broken and didn't ask for help. She was messy, but she was kind. She was lonely most of the time. She was reckless, just enough for her love. She was hurt, but she learned how to toughen up when she was bruised. She was all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie, but she is gone now.

Life just slipped through a back door, carved out me, and turned me into something I never asked for. Honestly, I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two for the girl that I knew.

You look like you're up for a question. Wait a bit more. I'll answer them and bet you're going to hate me.

Y/N got up, picked up her towel, knocked on her locker door, and headed for the shower. She rushed to one of the cabins, quickly switched on the tap, and let the water caress her gently like a soothing cascade. She rested her head on the cold tiles and hugged her bare body under the warm summer rain. Feeling sharp drops of water on her shoulder, she asked herself, was Satoru worth all the trouble? She closed her eyes. The answer was obvious. It had always been obvious.

No matter what, she would choose him. In a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, she would find him and choose him. Why? The answer was hidden in an old memory.

It was the memory of a spring day, with mild weather, where we were lying together under the oak tree of the orphanage. No words were spoken besides those from the kids around. I was happy. Content. I felt as though life couldn't possibly get any better than this moment. The leaves of the old tree shifted with the wind, and the sun found its way to my face throughout them, causing me to shut my eyes and turn towards him promptly.

It struck me then how much I loved him by my side. His hands were folded under his head, his blue eyes unwavering under the rays of the morning sun. At that moment, a surety rose in my heart, lodged in my throat.

'I'll never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.'

If I had words to say such a thing, I would have. But none seemed big enough for it, to hold that swelling truth.

As if he had heard me, he reached for my hand. I didn't need to look. His fingers were etched into my memory, slender and petal-veined, solid, and never wrong.

"Smiley," he said. He was always better with words than me.

How cruel it was that some things were only wished for, not possessed.

She turned off the water, wrapped her towel around her, and stepped out of the shower, only to find out nobody was in the pool. Better. She wasn't very fond of seeing those assholes again.

She made her way to the dressing room, humming a song under her breath. Untying the towel, she began to put on her underwear and bra, still singing and tapping her foot on the floor with the rhythm. She grabbed a plain white t-shirt from her bag and slipped it over her head. The damp ends of her hair were now wetting the t-shirt's collar. She reached out for her pants, backpack, and jacket when the sound of the closing door startled her.

"Who is there?" She asked, but no answer came from the other side. As her eyes looked for the person who had entered, her trembling fingers unconsciously grasped the locker's edge. She shivered, but it wasn't from the cold. A feeling of dread crept up from the pit of her stomach. She could hear the heavy thud of boots on the concrete floor, but the row of lockers prevented the person from being seen. She tried to convince herself nothing terrible would happen as she felt her heartbeat race.

The steps got closer and closer until she saw the person standing in front of her. The sudden shock made her tense her muscles. Her stomach churned over, and she felt sick for this brief moment.

She had already heard of the rich asshole and his assaults and intimidations, but she had never witnessed them closely. After all, she wasn't one of those chicks who turned heads or got sidewalks glace. It was a relief for her to keep herself to herself. But this moron, with his stupid hairstyle, didn't look like someone who would respect her decisions. Suddenly, she was hit by the fact that no one was around, and with this realization fear seemed to rise behind her eyes, but she pushed it back. At least for the time being. Her hands tried to cover her bare thighs with her jeans, though it seemed impossible. "You're not allowed to be here, Mahito!" Her voice was firm, and she thought she controlled the tremors well.

But the blue-haired boy, with a nauseating grin, didn't seem to mind her words at all. His eyes were fixed upon her limb, and he was getting closer, step by step. Slowly. "Don't be shy, little fish." His tongue dampened his lips. His attitude was strange; he seemed calm and not bothered.

Terror washed over her, raising the fine hairs on the back of her neck. She took two small steps backward, only her back to hit the cold metallic surface behind her. If her heart wouldn't stop raging against her ribcage, she feared it would give her away since it was so loud in her ears. Sweat poured down her body as she stayed still as possible. "Fuck off, idiot," she yelled with a trembling voice. She clenched her fists so hard that her nails cut into her skin. "Get out, now!" She pointed to the door with a frown.

Mahito approached with a snide smile on his lips, as his hand curled around Y/N's forefinger, only to bring it close to his mouth and lick it. The color quickly drained from her face. His touch filled her whole being with nausea. She tried to push him back and shout for help, but he was faster. His hand quickly covered her mouth before a sound could come out and pressed her body to the lockers. Her things fell to the floor, as his hand grabbed her wrist. "Don't be a mood killer; I know you want it!" He brought his face closer to hers. His deep breaths hit her cheek. Fear became a tangible and living force that crept over her like a hungry beast, immobilizing her; her brain, holding her captive. She could no longer control her hands; they trembled in an odd rhythm. She wanted to run, but he didn't allow her to move.

He pressed his body against Y/N's, and she could feel his hard arousal grinding against her groin. Her breath quickened. Her heart was throbbing in her ears, loud and irregular, but she could barely hear it, for her mind was clouded with fear. She fought to free herself, but his grip tightened. The bulge in his pants was growing, and her brain was getting more bewildered. Was she on the verge of a panic attack? No, no, she couldn't allow it. 'Not now. Not yet. Don't cry.' She had to do something before blacking out.

"I always wanted to taste you. You must be good. That's why Satoru still keeps you by his side, isn't it?"

She shook her head, her eyes wide open. If she could, she would have shouted that nothing was as it appeared from the outside, but no sound left her mouth. Her screams were stifled by his hand.

"What a loyal whore! Will he be offended if I play with his doll?" He laughed maniacally as his hand started touching her chest through her t-shirt. He shoved his leg between hers to close the gap between the two bodies. "He needs to learn sharing."

Appalled tears welled up in the corner of her eyes as they pleaded with him to set her free, but this disgusting creature had made his decision long ago. She had to do something. Anything.

There was bitterness in the back of her mouth. His finger was still deep in her throat. The next sound that was heard was Mahito's curses filling the air.

She had bitten his finger, and now she was about to run, to scream for help, but before she could find a chance to breathe, his open palm landed on her cheek, followed by a punch in the stomach.

Her head snapped back and dropped again. There was a warm wet feeling on her face, followed by a copper taste in her mouth. A splitting pain erupted through her head. She wanted to throw up as her arms moved to protect the punched area. She was sure that all the air had left her lungs, so she tried to suck it down like there was no tomorrow. As her vision faded, she caught a glimpse of the bastard standing before her. She collapsed to her knees. She couldn't scream anymore. She could only open her mouth to find that even the words had deserted her.

"You want it rough, bitch?" He grabbed her hair, and pulled her head up to kick her in the gut. Again. Never in her entire life had she ever experienced such intense agony, crushing every nerve in her body. An ache covered her veins as if she was in a surreal hell.

Her face stung, and her head felt like it would split in two. She was aware of what he was trying to do, but she wasn't about to give up. She wouldn't faint. She hoped that someone eventually would come to lock the room, that someone would help her.

Before she could even process anything, his hands were already on her neck, squeezing her throat. Small gasps escaped her mouth. "Now beg like a dog for me to fuck you, or are you enjoying the pain?" Her cold, shivering fingers clawed around his wrist, tapping on it, begging him to let her go.

"That's how I want you, like a good girl!" He loosened his grasp and stepped back to adore the mess he had made of her.

She held her stomach and neck, as she coughed and gasped for air. It was as though the pain had crushed her and claimed her body for its own. Not yet. Not yet. She tried to crawl on the floor to get away from him, only to earn a solid kick on her back. Her leaden lungs suppressed any attempts she made to inhale. A muffled cry came out of her mouth, and she tasted her own blood in her mouth.

Her face hit the floor, and the sight of her in pain with wailing eyes made Mahito smile. He loosened the belt of his pants, hovering over her. The beast holding her captive took control of her entire being. Every muscle in her body screamed at her to flee, but she remained frozen. Fear crippled her.

She knew what he was about to do. Her desperation turned into tears running down her cheeks. As though something had walked through her, she felt numb, dizzy. No hand was covering her mouth now, but efforts to say the words were replaced by a struggle to keep the air in her lungs.

Do you know that feeling where you just want to scream "help me" over and over again? Because you don't know what to do anymore and you feel trapped in this black void of mess you can't seem to get out of no matter how hard you try to run.

Please help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me… No god heard my voice until a fallen angel disobeyed Eden's rules and reached out to me.

Mahito's tapered fingers began to explore her sore body. He hunched over and licked her neck. "No… please…" She used her last energy to beg him. But he didn't care, and his hand slowly slipped into her panties. She felt like her heart had been ripped out. A state of misery that she couldn't see the end of the tunnel. A terrible weight fell on her shoulders as she stood still on the floor. It was as though a giant boulder landed on her, and she couldn't straighten out. She couldn't bear the agony any longer, her grief poured out in a flood of gut-wrenching sobs that tore through her chest. In those moments, her life flashed before her eyes—his smile.

But suddenly, a hand seized Mahito by the collar and threw him to the other side. His body hit the lockers with a loud thud. "YOU PRICK!"

She heard a familiar voice.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TOUCH HER?" A scream came, tearing its way out. And then another, and another. His blue eyes were burning with absolute rage. His nostrils flaring, he stood there, fist clenched on the sides. Anger curled hot and unstoppable in his gut, like a blazing inferno that wanted to burn him from the inside out. What would have happened if he hadn't come after Y/N? He could almost feel his blood boiling in his veins. No one was allowed to touch her. She was his sole family. She was the only one who never left him in all these years. He would break the hands of those who would harm her.

His eyes narrowed, and his teeth clenched together. She hadn't seen him angry. Not once. She was so used to his playfulness and childlike demeanor that this side of him scared her.

Mahito straightened himself a little and grinned as he tried to lean his back to the lockers. "Don't get upset. She can still be your sweet pussy cake. I just want a grab. We may even have it together. I'm sure this slut can take us both," he said, all the while trying to stand.

All of it happened so fast, before Mahito could even stand on his feet, Satoru grabbed him by the face and slammed him against the wall. "YOU FUCKED UP, SON OF A BITH! I'm going to kill you!" He had a sinister look, a vein bulging out of his head. Her eyes couldn't stay open any longer. She was so tired.

After what sounded like hours, she felt death kneeling by her side. She even sensed its hands under her head. She opened her eyes slowly, but instead of death, she met Satoru's wounded forehead and blood-stained shirt. Suddenly, there was an aura of grey around him. It was a fog that wouldn't rise or fade. He felt his throat closing up. His bottom lip quivered, and his shoulders dropped in resignation. A single tear rolled down his cheek, as he sat and watched her bruised body. A giant hole found a permanent home in his heart. His life would never be the same. He resembled a curse and the consequences that came with it.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." In his hoarse voice there was no trace of rage anymore. Instead, a sad expression, drowned in anguish, swept his face as the realization of the moment slowly crept in. He bent over and kissed her forehead. "I'm here, Smiley," he whispered as he wrapped his hoodies around her. He pulled her head towards his chest and didn't let go for a long time, stroking her hair with his bloody fingers. Her breath was taken away, not from the squeeze, but from the realization that his arms were finally around her. Somehow he took away her pain. She leaned in, closed her eyes, and after this endless nightmare, she finally felt safe enough to pass out.

What happened afterward? What the hell do you expect? You think they punished that motherfucker? Do you think they kicked him out of school? Huh, we live in a brutal world. We didn't have a family to fill the school principal's pockets with money. So, I was convicted of staying late in the pool, and Satoru was found guilty of assaulting his classmate and sending him to the hospital. We were both expelled and enrolled in another school after Gakuganji scolded us, humiliated us, and punished us.

I was at my lowest. Others took what I couldn't afford to give. Then my health started to go downhill. They broke me, crushed me, shattered me. They stole so much of me.

In those moments, all I felt was anger. I hated the people. I hated being alive. I didn't want to be near anyone. But he dug through my walls and reached me. He hugged me whenever I cried and held my hands tight, like we were tied.

This is something I think I'll never quite understand. How did he constantly love me and put me first? How did he manage to be so selfless, even though I backed him into a corner? How did he always keep me at the top of his priority list even though I probably drove him insane most of the time? How did he not just give up, and walk away when things got tough, again and again?

It seems like an exhausting job, to say the least. But somehow, some way or another, he kept fighting to stay. I realize now just how much of a handful I really was.

It was him that kept my soul alive in the furnace of grief. He burnt with me to carry me forward to the day I forgot more than I could remember. He saved me from myself, from becoming a monster, a person indifferent to suffering and sorrow.

Do you get it now? We would do anything for one another. I would give up whatever I had for him. There was nothing I wouldn't do to see that boy happy. Even though when he smiles, it's not for me. It's for her.

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Sorry if I made you all sad with this chapter...

[addict4kpopp]

Insecurities • Park Jimin

Summary: A young girl that has been bullied for half of her life for her appearance meets a charming and charismatic man who helps her open up and be proud of who she is.

Genre: Romance, Mental Abuse, Insecurity

Pairing:Park Jimin x Fem Reader

=======

"Tch, look at you. Do you think anybody will want crap that is ugly like this???!" Your bully said towering over you while her companions laughed. 'Ugly duckling! Ugly duckling! Ugly duckling!!,' Everyone began chanting, I felt so hurt that I pushed the girls out of my way and ran quickly to the bathroom. Tired of all the bullying I was getting at home and school, I began to cry, "I can't take this anymore."

I decided to spend my entire class session inside the bathroom, ashamed and timid to go back to my classroom, that's when the only thought that ran through my head was the thought to end it all. Hearing the lunch bell echoing throughout the hallway, you headed up to the roof of the school building. Inhaling the intoxicated smell of the cold winter day, I closed my eyes as I felt tears exiting them.

Taking a deep breath, I reopened my eyes and placed my backpack on the bench to the rear wall before removing my school shoes ready to admit your end. I was just about to step off to the edge of the wall when I heard a sweet, angelic calm voice behind me, "What do you think you are doing?"

Shocked and surprised, I spun around losing my footing but I was saved just in time as the man grabbed hold of my hand as fell right into his opening arms. My cheeks felt hot as I quickly jumped to my feet, embarrassed at what happened. Giving him an apologetic bow, "I-Im sorry."

He folded his arms over his chest as a small giggle escaped his lips, "No need to do that, the best thing is that you are alive."

Rapidly grabbing my belongings, I was about to rush down the stairs when I heard the man stop me, "What's your name??"

"My name is Sara Choi."

"I hope we'll meet again soon."

=========

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and you were definitely not grateful mainly because your plan had failed and you were brought to the principal because so overseers saw what took placed with the bullies.

You were about to go through the school gate when you spotted the dude that saved you on the rooftop, trying to avoid him you lifted your hand to your cheek to hide your face from him but that was when you heard him shout your name.

Seeing that the unavoidable could not be unavoidable, you stood in your exact spot as he jogged over to you. With a jagged breath he asked you, "You going home right now??"

"Yeah. I am, why?"

"Let's go out." You felt your body shiver, "Ew, no." That's when he started to laugh, "Wow, Ms. Choi, your expectations are very far."

"Not it isn't, " You muttered as you stared at the ground feeling the sense of embarrassment creeping in. "Let's go." Grabbing onto his wrist, you pulled him behind you but that's when you were halted by some familiar footsteps. Slowly, you looked up to see, her, Jang Hana. "I see, you have added a new toy to your collection."

Jimin pulled you back making it possible that you were behind him. As he stared at Hana, you felt the atmosphere around you feel dark and cold. "If I were you, I'd leave her alone from this day forward." He said as his tone got deeper but instead of feeling any intimidation, Hana began to laugh as if she had officially gone mad. "Ha! What do you think you can do to me? Fight me? Kill me?"

Letting go of my hands he walked over to Hana, gently leaning over to her ear, "Babygirl, I can do something even worse." That's when all the pride that she had suddenly disappeared as her face began pale. Stomping away on fury, you started to giggle as you walked over to him, "What did you say to her that made her so pale?"

As he winked at me, you felt your stomach fill with butterflies, "That's our secret."

"Oh? So your keeping secrets?"

"I'll let you in onto it, soon. Now, let's go get something to eat."

=======

After enjoying the delicacies, the two decided to walk through the park not too far away from the restaurant. Walking along the bridge, you had decided to ask the question you longed to ask about, "So, what did you say to her?" He turned to look at you, looking a little confused, "Hana. What did you say to her?"

"Oh, I just told her that she should leave you alone or else she'd suffer some consequences." You just nodded as the cold night wind blew through the hair of both. You were interrupted when your phone began to ring, "You should answer it."

You nodded, "Yeah but I have something I wanna say." He stared at me so attentively that I had to take a deep breath in. "Jimin. You are the first person I have ever met that made me feel like-" You were cut short when you felt his soft plump pink lips against yours, without giving this a second thought, you kissed him back passionately. Pulling apart, you looked up into his beautiful siren eyes, "What was that for?"

"To prove that I love you."

[marijuanacardoxfordms]

How to apply for a Medical Marijuana Card In Oxford Mississippi

Medical marijuana is a common treatment for people with chronic pain or other conditions. The federal prohibition against marijuana use is still in effect. However, 29 states (and Washington D.C.) currently allow medical marijuana for people who are able to qualify.

The cannabis sativa derivatives are known as medical cannabis. Its active compounds include delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol and cannabidiol. CBD has several benefits but does not cause you to feel high. THC is what causes the intoxication or high associated with marijuana.

This is what you need to know about getting a medical cannabis card in your state if it allows medical marijuana.

Learn More: https://pausethepain.com/medical-marijuana-card-oxford-ms/

Do You Need Medical Marijuana

Many people with cancer are curious about medical marijuana's potential benefits. This is why the topic of whether or not to use medical marijuana is often brought up in cancer treatment centers. There are many questions that can be asked about medical marijuana. Will it manage the side effects of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery? Can it calm my anxiety about cancer?

Bill, a physician, asked Bill if marijuana could help him with prostate cancer. He explained that he had seen studies from other countries online that marijuana could be used to treat cancer. Unfortunately, there's no solid scientific evidence that marijuana holds curative powers. In order to prove that marijuana can cure cancer, it would be necessary to do a variety of quality studies (which doctors call randomized controlled trials).

Sara, another patient, experienced nausea and decreased appetite while undergoing chemotherapy for breast carcinoma. She wanted to know if marijuana could be used to treat her hunger and lack of energy. Many patients have reported benefit from using marijuana for nausea and vomiting. The problem is that marijuana is a complex plant with over 400 components and people can take it in many different forms, such as smoking, eating, or oil drops. Sara's doctor couldn't recommend a specific treatment for her nausea. Prescription drugs like dronabinol, nabilone and other cannabinoids can be used to treat nausea. Sara was advised by her doctor to try one of the approved prescription medications for nausea. Her doctor also got Sara to focus on a healthy diet and change from soda to ginger tea, which diminished Sara's nausea.

Sam was a patient who had completed radiation for Hodgkin’s lymphoma. However, he worried every day about the possibility of cancer returning. He was afraid of recurrence. He had trouble relaxing in the evening, his stomach felt queasy most days, his back was tense all the time, and he was plagued with racing thoughts, especially at night. Sam sought help from his doctor to treat the anxiety he experienced as a cancer survivor. Many people experience worry after finishing treatment, often due to fear of recurrence. Sam was having trouble concentrating at work and was suffering from fatigue. His doctor refused to recommend marijuana as a treatment for his anxiety. Sam was also excited to get off his medications after treatment for cancer. Sam felt anxious and sought out weekly therapy to help him. Research shows that weekly therapy has long-lasting benefits for anxiety disorders.

It's crucial to understand side effects and alternatives before you start taking medication. This may not be possible for medical marijuana until the time comes. Researchers will have difficulty studying marijuana for medical purposes unless it is officially classified as a drug by the federal government. Even though marijuana is legal in certain states for medical purposes, it doesn't necessarily mean that it has any medical benefits.

If you live somewhere where marijuana is legal and you do choose to use it, be attentive to how it helps you function over time. Are you able to do your work during the day, be present in your relationships, and rest well at night on this supplement? Do your friends and family notice the benefit too or do they see the use a problematic? Low motivation, confusion, impaired driving, hallucinations and addiction are all signs of marijuana misuse.

One day doctors may have the medical science needed to make evidence-based recommendations about marijuana use for cancer. Scientists will have to know how to safely mix marijuana with other drugs, what type of marijuana should be used (e.g. smoking or eating), and how long they should be taking it. Doctors and patients will also need businesses to provide a quality marijuana product, one that has oversight in preparation and quality checks to make sure what patients think they are buying is what is in the bottle or package.

We have a lot of evidence on marijuana. It has been shown to have therapeutic properties for chronic pain, nausea and other conditions. The full potential of marijuana's medical benefits is still unknown until we have solid research.

Marijuana As Medicine

Medical marijuana is not a new concept. Over the years, research has been done to show how it can treat different conditions. THC, in particular, has shown to have several benefits when it comes to treating nausea and lack of appetite in cancer patients.

Many countries have approved medicine derived from cannabis, including the United States, Europe, Canada, and Canada. It includes liquids, sprays, pills and sprays that contain THC. So far, researchers agree that these kinds of medicines are more effective than the whole marijuana plant when it comes to medicinal purposes. Because marijuana must be purified before it is used for medication.

The most common reason for using marijuana is to relieve pain. While medical marijuana isn't strong enough to replace painkillers prescribed after surgery, it has proven helpful in alleviating chronic aches and pains, especially those related to aging. Medical cannabis isn't as addictive as opioids and works as an alternative to ibuprofen or paracetamol.

Marijuana is used to help cancer patients cope with nausea and vomiting. Along with patients suffering from AIDS, anorexia and other conditions, marijuana can stimulate appetite.

Qualifying Conditions

Medical marijuana laws can vary from one state to the next. This includes which conditions are eligible for medical marijuana. Most states that allow medicinal marijuana permit its use to treat:

Cancer

HIV and AIDS

Glaucoma

Crohn's Disease

Multiple sclerosis (MS).

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, is also known.

Epilepsy and seizures

Chronic pain

Severe nausea

Parkinson's Disease

Anorexia

Migraines

Fibromyalgia

Your state may determine if medical marijuana is recommended for you. This includes symptoms that prevent you from carrying out daily activities or that threaten your safety and mental or physical health.

Getting a Medical Cannabis Card

The first step to getting a medical marijuana card is to talk to your primary care physician. Your doctor will assess your medical condition and discuss with you any side effects or risks. Once you get your doctor's approval you can start the process.

While each state will have its own process, the majority of states will require you to register for the state’s medical marijuana registry. You can probably do this online. A part of the registration process will require that you provide proof that your doctor has approved medical Cannabis to treat your symptoms.

In order to complete your registration, your state might ask you create an online account. Here you can submit your application as well as get approval from your doctor. Creating an account also saves your information in case you need to renew your medical marijuana card in the future. Your caregiver will need to also enter their credentials if you apply for a card together.

The fee to obtain a medical marijuana card will likely be payable. While the cost varies from one state to another, you should still be able pay online. Once you have your card you can buy medical marijuana.

Where To Get Medicinal Marijuana In Oxford MS

A medical marijuana permit allows you to purchase marijuana from dispensaries approved by your state. A card may allow you to purchase products that contain more THC, or larger amounts of marijuana products depending on where you live. Depending on your situation and the state, you might be allowed to grow cannabis plants in your own home.

A card is required to purchase medicinal marijuana in Oxford MS. You can either use your medical marijuana products yourself, or you can have your caregiver help you. This is possible if the caregiver is listed on your medical marijuana card. The type of marijuana used and severity of your symptoms will determine how long it takes for you to feel the effects.

You May Also Be Interested In: Marijuana Doctor Meridian MS

Pause Pain & Wellness - Medical Marijuana Card/Doctor Oxford Clinic, 101 Ricky D Britt Sr Blvd Suite 1, Oxford, MS 38655 (833) 940-5060 https://pausethepain.com/medical-marijuana-card-oxford-ms/

[marijuanacardmeridianms]

How to obtain a Medical Marijuana Card In Meridian Mississippi

Patients suffering from chronic pain or conditions may use a medical marijuana card. The federal prohibition against marijuana use is still in effect. However, 29 states (and Washington D.C.) currently allow medical marijuana for people who are able to qualify.

"Medical marijuana" is a term that refers to derivatives from the cannabis sativa plants. The active compounds of cannabis sativa include cannabidiol or CBD and delta-9 Tetrahydrocannabinol. CBD has several benefits but does not cause you to feel high. THC is responsible for the high or intoxication that marijuana can cause.

Here are the details to help you get a card for medical marijuana if your state permits medical marijuana.

Are You Considering a Medical Marijuana card?

Many people with cancer are curious about medical marijuana's potential benefits. This is why the topic of whether or not to use medical marijuana is often brought up in cancer treatment centers.

Bill, a physician, was asked if marijuana could help him with prostate cancer. He explained that he had seen studies from other countries online that marijuana could be used to treat cancer. Unfortunately, there's no solid scientific evidence that marijuana holds curative powers. To prove that marijuana is a cure for cancer, we would need to conduct a series of quality studies (which doctors refer to as randomized controlled trials). These studies would involve a lot of patients with a particular type of cancer who use a certain drug.

Learn More Here: https://pausethepain.com/medical-marijuana-card-meridian-ms/

Sara, another patient, was suffering from nausea and low appetite after receiving chemotherapy for breast cancer. She was interested in marijuana for treating her low appetite, lack of energy and nausea. Patients have reported that marijuana can be used to treat nausea and vomiting. The problem is that marijuana is a complex plant with over 400 components and people can take it in many different forms, such as smoking, eating, or oil drops. Sara's doctor couldn't recommend a specific treatment for her nausea. Prescription medications like dronabinol and nabilone are cannabinoids (one compound from the marijuana plant) that can be used for nausea, in addition to many other available medications for nausea. Sara's doctor recommended that she try one approved prescription cannabinoid medicine first. The prescription medication comes with specific dosing instructions and quality control. Sara's nausea was greatly reduced when Sara switched from soda to ginger ale.

Sam was a patient who had completed radiation for Hodgkin’s lymphoma. However, he worried every day about the possibility of cancer returning. He had an intense fear of recurrence. He struggled to relax in the evenings, his stomach was always achy, his back was tight all the time and he had racing thoughts at night. Sam asked his doctor about marijuana for anxiety. This was common in cancer survivorship, where many people have worry following treatment. Sam was experiencing fatigue and difficulty concentrating at work so his doctor declined to recommend marijuana. The side effects of marijuana include fatigue and impaired thinking. Sam was eager to stop taking prescriptions after cancer treatment. Sam felt anxious and sought out weekly therapy to help him. Studies show that weekly therapy can be effective in treating anxiety disorders.

It's crucial to understand side effects and alternatives before you start taking medication. It might take some time before medical cannabis meets this standard. Researchers will not be able to study marijuana for medical purposes until the federal government declares it a legal drug. Although marijuana may be legal for medical use in certain states, this doesn't mean that it has a proven medical benefit.

If you are a resident of a country where marijuana is legal, it is important to consider how the supplement affects your life. Is it possible to work at night, maintain relationships, and do your job well? Is it something that your friends and family see as a benefit? Problematic marijuana use includes low motivation, confusion, falls, impaired driving, hallucinations, and addiction.

One day, doctors might have the medical science necessary to make evidence-based decisions about marijuana use in cancer treatment. This science will help us decide how much marijuana to smoke (or eat), how long we should take, how safe it is to combine with other medications and what dosage to take. Doctors and patients will also need businesses to provide a quality marijuana product, one that has oversight in preparation and quality checks to make sure what patients think they are buying is what is in the bottle or package.

We do have some evidence regarding marijuana, which is encouraging. Research does indicate that cannabis has therapeutic effects in chronic pain, chemo-related nausea, as well as other ailments. The full potential of marijuana's medical benefits is still unknown until we have solid research.

Marijuana can be used as a medicine

Medical marijuana is not new. Researches have been conducted over many decades to determine how it can be used in various conditions. THC has been shown to be effective in treating nausea and vomiting in patients with cancer.

A variety of medicines made from marijuana have been approved around the world, including in the U.S., Europe and Canada. It includes liquids, sprays, pills and sprays that contain THC. These medicines have been proven to be more effective than the entire marijuana plant for medical purposes. This is because marijuana needs to be purified before being used to make medicine.

Most people use marijuana for pain relief. Medical marijuana is not strong enough for painkillers that have been prescribed following surgery. But, it can help with chronic aches or pains, especially as they relate to aging. Medical cannabis is not as addictive than opioids. It can be used instead of paracetamol, ibuprofen, or paracetamol.

Patients with cancer can use marijuana to manage nausea and vomiting. Along with patients suffering from AIDS, anorexia and other conditions, marijuana can stimulate appetite.

Qualifying Conditions

Each state has its own laws regarding medical marijuana. They also differ in the conditions that allow it to be used. The majority of states that allow medicinal cannabis are open to the use of it for treatment:

Cancer

HIV/AIDS

Glaucoma

Crohn's Disease

Multiple sclerosis

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, is also known.

Epilepsy, seizures

Chronic pain

Severe nausea

Parkinson's Disease

Anorexia

Migraines

Fibromyalgia

Depending on your state, your primary care physician might recommend trying medical marijuana if you have chronic symptoms that impact your quality of life. This includes symptoms that prevent you from carrying out daily activities or that threaten your safety and mental or physical health.

Getting a Medical Marijuana Card Meridian MS

Talking to your primary physician is the first step in obtaining a medical marijuana card. Your doctor will evaluate your condition to determine whether medicinal marijuana is necessary. He will also discuss the possible side effects and risks with you. Once you get your doctor's approval you can start the process.

While each state will have its own process, the majority of states will require you to register for the state’s medical marijuana registry. You can probably do this online. A part of the registration process will require that you provide proof that your doctor has approved medical Cannabis to treat your symptoms.

To complete your registration, your state may ask you to create an online account where you can submit your application and doctor's approval. In the event that you need to renew your medical marijuana cards in the future, creating an account will save your information. If you're applying for a card along with a caregiver, they will also need to provide their credentials.

Your medical marijuana card will require you to pay a fee. While the cost varies from one state to another, you should still be able pay online. Once you have obtained your card, you are able to purchase medical marijuana.

Where can you buy medical marijuana in Meridian MS?

A medical marijuana permit allows you to purchase marijuana from dispensaries approved by your state. You may be able to buy cannabis products with higher THC levels or purchase larger quantities depending on your state. You may be allowed to grow marijuana plants at home, depending on your state.

A medical marijuana card is required to purchase medicinal marijuana in Meridian Mississippi

Once you have obtained your medicinal marijuana products, either you or your caregiver can administer them. If this person is on your medical cannabis card, they will be listed as your caregiver. It depends on how severe your symptoms and the cannabis you are using.

Related: Marijuana Doctor Oxford MS

===

Pause Pain & Wellness - Medical Marijuana Card/Doctor Meridian Clinic, 4711 Poplar Springs Dr Suite B, Meridian, MS 39305 (833) 940-5060 https://pausethepain.com/medical-marijuana-card-meridian-ms/

[genshinlover101]

Hey there! I absolutely love your work and i was wondering about your post with top vibes. Can you do it where their s/o gives them bottom vibes?

Her Saying You Give Off Bottom Vibes

Characters: Raiden Shogun, Ayaka, Kokomi, Sara, Yae Miko x gn!reader

Warnings: Nsfw Themes, slight usage of profanity

A/n: Thank you!

I hope I chose the correct characters for this 😖 I have two posts now about top vibes so I decided to go with the OG set of Inazuma characters

Link to prt 2 (not connected, only if you want more)

• Ei had somewhat of a control complex over humans, so you were perfect for her. She knew she could have her way with you, and you’d obey perfectly. She’d never take such a gem as yourself for granted.

• Ei had full control over almost every situation. The situation in Inazuma being a perfect example of that. She would be very possessive over you, viewing her as her little toy. Nobody could play with you, not even the Shogun.

• She would keep you in her room for the day. When she returned it would be time to play again, allowing you to jump excitedly into her lap and inquire about the day as she tamed you. She’d even let you play with her hair out of boredom. 

She waved you over to sit with Ei between your legs facing away from you. Her long purple hair unfurled to you as you divided it into three sections. Because of her copious amounts of hair, it often took a while to braid Ei’s hair after a shower. But you didn’t mind, it gave you something to do during the day other than wait for her to return to you after presiding Inazuma.

You began braiding it loosely, a couple of stray strands escaping to flow in front of her face. It wafted a dizzy smell from her shampoo of natural sakura petals. A smell that was all too familiar to you, intoxicating  you.

You knew what was coming next after braiding her hair, you needed to somehow quench Ei’s insatiable hunger for you. As you tied her hair to finish up, she turned to face you with a deep breath. Forcing you to lay back on the bed as she rested her head on your chest, you would pet her scalp of hair ever so slightly. 

“Come here little one, let me reward you,” You lifted your head to meet hers, giving you a smooch. One kiss turned into two, and two turned into a session between you. She kissed you so desperately as if you’d slip from her hands at any minute.

As you both parted for air she looked at you with lust in her eyes, you swore you could see a red glimmer from her pupils. “What is so special about you? After centuries you are the only human to make me bend over backward,” You were about to answer that you didn’t know, but she quickly silenced you. Overpowering your movements with her own, she would make tonight quite interesting. 

• Ayaka is beyond shy, this girl probably didn’t even know what a top or bottom was before you. She just knows you were so cute and lovable, she just wanted to eat you up.

• Ayaka would lose herself in you. She’d be so gentle, even if it ruined the mood she’d ask permission before doing anything. She just wanted to make sure you were 100% safe.

• You thought it would be kind to do one favor for Ayaka after the countless she’s done for you. Specifically, you wanted to bring her some tea after a long day, it was the least you could do. 

You timidly knocked on the door to announce your entry. Your hips must’ve swayed a certain way, or your eyes gleamed a certain sparkle to put her under a spell so easily. With the tea kettle and a single empty teacup on a tray, you allowed yourself to pour your mistress a cup of fresh tea.

“Thank you, my love,” she sipped from the cup. “But what about you?” She wanted to dine with you. 

“Don’t worry about me, I’m only repaying a favor in the small way that I can.” Before you could say anymore she placed the cup on your lips, allowing you to drink from her cup. You were surprised at her sudden boldness.

“No, I insist,” You drank a sip or two before she took the cup away. The clumsy uncoordinated movements allowed a spillage to occur on your lips, a stream of tea dripping down your chin. “My apologies,” She lightly giggled. Although, you knew she did it on purpose.

“Allow me?” Like the esteemed princess she was, she would never engage you without permission first. It was only basic etiquette. You expected a thumb to wipe over your lips, only for Ayaka to grip your cheek, pulling you in closer to her face. She licked the small stream off, slowly emerging to a steamy kiss that she initiated.

When you two parted you both had the brightest blushes on your faces. Too focused on your own embarrassment to see each other. Such a bold move for a small timid girl like Ayaka.

• Kokomi would try and restrain herself around you. But something about you just made her want to take care of you, nurture you, do anything physical with you. She hoped it was just a side thought, she would hate to think of you so naughty.

• Kokomi would baby you. If you were around her she would keep you in her arms to protect you. She thought you were so cute even if you thought you were an annoyance to her.

• The poor introverted Kokomi wanted nothing but you to be there while she studied her war strategies. You helped her focus just being there with you in her arms. You were like a stress toy to her. Without you, she wouldn’t be able to keep her mind off of you.

Kokomi had you in between her legs cuddling with her. She was reading countless books she had checked out about war strategies to hone her skills. A clear sign of frustration on her face as she was confused about a certain chapter.

She placed the book gently down on the nightstand, before grabbing her ponytail which split into two with each hand, gripping it tightly. Pulling her hair to her face to scream loudly, her hair muffling the sound. “What’s all the commotion?” you asked.

She let her ponytail fall loosely again, wrapping her arms around you hopelessly. “Ah this strategy that the Shogun uses often, it has me to say the least... confused.” She nuzzled her head further into your back. Your scent comforting her ever so slightly, “Oh what would I do without you?” She asked.

She began leaving little kisses on your nape, which turned into suckling of your skin. It was clear she wanted to leave a mark. Her hands which were wrapped around your waist, found themselves pulling up your shirt as her hands roamed your midriff. They quickly grazed your chest before quickly retreating to grab the book on the nightstand.

“Hmph, can’t get distracted now can we?” She tried to play it off, and if you could see her face you knew she had the biggest blush ever. A girl like Kokomi would of course be far too shy to bring herself to the next stage in the relationship.

• Sara was irritated with you because even if you were doing absolutely nothing, she would get easily distracted by you. Something about you drew her in and poor innocent her had no idea what it was.

• Sara would try and shoo you away to prevent her from losing focus. But you were just too enticing, she couldn’t bring herself to do it fully. You’d end up in her arms while she finished up her work.

• Sara tried everything to keep you away from her office. If you had entered, You would’ve messed up her concentration. You promised though, this once you would be silent and just read a book or something. She allowed it unbeknownst that you would be a distraction just sitting there

Even though you sat in a cushion alone in a corner reading a simple book, it was hard for Sara to keep her eyes off of you. She would grind her teeth in utter frustration that she could barely finish a document with you looking so venerable in her peripheral. 

She wanted to do something, anything to you. She began tapping her feathered pen against the desk anxiously, catching your attention. Just one stare from you to meet eye contact was enough to be her calling. With an audible sigh, she rolled her eyes. “Come here,” she tapped her thighs to signal you. 

You had a light smirk, knowing whatever you were doing was successfully seducing Sara. You made your way towards her, sitting beside her with a side-eye. Allowing Sara to slowly straddle you as she looked you directly in the eyes. The blush on her face was undeniable, no matter how submissive you were she would never get used to this power dynamic.

“You’re the one who wanted to be in my office in the first place,” she said convincing herself that she was allowed to do whatever she wanted with you now that you were in her hold. She scoffed, “I mean look at you. You’re trapped in my palms now.”

She lowered herself onto your neck, you opened it up to allow more room for her. Giving her a little moan as she bit down onto it. You could tell through her breathing that she was growing more frantic, she wanted more. But you wouldn’t let her.

With the same shit-eating grin you pushed her head off of you. “Not right now, after all, you’re trying to focus aren’t you?” Two could play at that game. You would make her wait till she could no longer.

• Yae Miko will tease you half to death. She would take advantage of you, do anything to embarrass you. It made her feel a tingly sensation inside of satisfaction.

• Miko would purposely play with you, commanding you to do things that you thought were degrading. Your cute reactions were enough to make her spine tickle.

• Miko had you do the bare minimum to help around the Narukami Shrine. Deliver the fortune slips, she said. Seems simple enough, until you tripped over your own feet, making the tray splatter all over you.

Miko licked her fingers as if she was about to do some fine dining with such a clumsy lover. The fortune slips scattered all around you and a dent in the metal tray. “Ah~ such a cutie. What do you suppose I should do with you Hmm?”

She squatted next to you with her arms around her knees, looking at you fondly. Actually, scratch that, it was like she was looking at her prey. Observing your shy movements after messing up that badly with such an easy task. She brushed her slim fingers against your cheek with a sneaky smirk on her face.

“My my- for a mere human you’re just the cutest thing there is aren’t you,” she allowed herself to get closer and closer to you. Eventually, her body was draped above yours, her vibrant pink hair tickling your nose as she debated what she was going to do with you.

“I bet you’re just shaking in your boots right now huh? Waiting for me to do... hmmm,” She whispered in your ear. “I suppose this?” She licked behind your ear, giving you shivers. leaving a trail of saliva from your ear lobe, all the way down through the bottom of your neck. One hand supported her body up, while the other gripped your waist firmly, kneading it like dough.

She backed off with the same mischievous smirk before quickly picking herself back up. “Aren’t you a bit naughty? I supposed I’ll have to punish you later today,” She said with a light giggle. 

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Please talk about the lighting in young royals, would love to hear your thoughts

Oh, my lord. Bestie, I am so glad you asked. You have no idea how long I have been waiting for someone to ask me this question.

Settle in, folks, this one will probably be a long one. (I'll be using lots of gifs and/or pictures. Not a single one belongs to me)

Let's start with the one that everyone knows, and the one that sparked this ask.

The Gold Scenes.

Examples:

The gold scenes are entirely Wilmon scenes, and only in their most intimate moments. Both happy and sad. The scene in Wille's room is happy, content. They finally have a moment together and neither of them is worried about anything other than each other. The scene in Simon's room is giddy. They're entirely wrapped up in each other. They, once again, can't be bothered to think of anything other than each other. The scene at Lucia is sad. They're coming back together after being angry with each other. They're realizing they need each other. They're realizing that they only want each other.

The gold is warm and loving. It envelops them. It makes them glow. Have you ever heard the phrase "you're glowing"? Because that's literally what this is.

To be glowing: "to look attractive because you are happy or healthy, especially with eyes that are shining"

These are moments when they are their most authentic. The moments they can just exist with each other. Moments they want to stay in. These are also the moments we, as an audience, tend to gravitate to because it makes us feel something, too.

The (solo) Blue Scenes.

Examples:

The (solo) blue scenes are pretty much just the characters self destructing. I think they all have a scene that's blue. Every time Wille looks at himself in the mirror, it's blue. When Felice is throwing up, or posting on Instagram, or doing her thing to Wille's picture in episode one, it's blue. When Simon visits his dad, it's blue. When Stella cheats on her test, it's blue. After August admits he has no money, it's blue. Even for the "insignificant characters" who are doing self-destructive things, there is blue around them.

When the characters are alone in a blue scene, they're engaged in self-destructive activities. They might be mentally spiralling, or getting intoxicated, or cheating on a test, but they're all at varying degrees of self destruction. Almost exclusively. I don't think there is a solo blue scene where the character is just vibing. They're all absolutely going through it if the surrounding lighting is blue and they're alone.

The (duo) Blue Scenes.

Examples:

The (duo) blue scenes might be some of my favorite. They are the "fundamental shift in relationship" scenes. This lighting happens when two (or more) characters change the course of their relationship. Good or bad.

We see it mostly with Wilmon, but most of the scenes where lighting is significant tends to relate to Wilmon, so that's not really surprising. We see it in their hand holding scene, their first kiss, the football field, their first time. All of these are the major shifts within their relationship. Things that change the course of their story for better or worse.

We also see it with Felice and Sara more than once. We see it when they first become friends at the party and also when they make up after Sara said those things at parents day. The two times they made a conscious decision to be friends and not enemies. The two times they decided their friendship was worth it. The two times everything between them changed.

The (duo) blue scenes are the moments when things change within a relationship. When things move forward no matter the consequences.

That's all tumblr will let me post for now because I used too many images haha. Please let me know if you want a part two because this is really only like half of it. Maybe.

[romeowho]

blitz being meaner to m&m in season 2 actually makes a lot of sense when you consider he stood up for moxxie then got thoroughly embarrassed and rejected in front of them. so to make himself feel not so vulnerable and raw, he's pushing them away cuz they saw him at his weakest.

[zorlok-if]

Ro+ Tommy at karaoke. :)

Love it. Not too sure what this is asking for—if it's asking for anything lol—but here is what they'd sing and how the performance would go cause the thought was just so charming to me

Tommy: Life Is A Highway by Rascal Flatts, Tommy is very self-conscious and not the world's best singer, but if you get the kid to come out of his shell, he will fucking jam out (he just may need you to sing with him, you know... for moral support)

Dev: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, would fucking crush it, Dev is a great singer but, more importantly, xe's a natural performer, this is a fucking event, like a goddamn one-person musical

EJ: Umbrella by Rihanna, really good, EJ's an even better singer than they'll seem to be but they get really nervous and that causes their voice to shake (therefore tripping them up a bit), but the emotion and the talent are still there—if somewhat timid

Adam/Eve: Hotel California by Eagles, cannot sing well but nonetheless would have a lot of fun attempting to belt out this song (as long as they're not singing in front of strangers)

Lucía: Orpheus by Sara Bareilles, her singing voice could bring anyone listening to tears, I mean she's a lead vocalist and drummer in a band which plays weekly at The Cellar, she's fucking fantastic

Ciel: House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance, surprisingly good, very emotional, lots and lots of head banging

Danny: Creep by Radiohead, Danny sings by signing rhythmically (for examples of what this is like check out these amazing ASL covers of Creep, here and here, or this one in IS), Danny's very expressive and emotional, they love feeling music and dancing so they incorporate that into their interpretation

The Celestial: Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, listening to em sing is a truly divine experience, ey can make eir voice sound however ey likes and be eir own back-up singers and eir voice twinkles almost with its own soft, sparkling instrumentation

Rose: Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin, not a great singer but he loves nothing more than singing at the top of his lungs, you're in for a fucking show (and he will 100% change the pronouns in the lyrics)

[Secret RO]: Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpions, it doesn't matter what they say or sing, theirs is genuinely the most entrancing and enthralling voice you've ever heard—the very thing your darkest, cruelest, and most intoxicating dreams are made of; props will be used (ideally, you are the prop)

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

can you please write an imagine for nigari?? he have a love/hate relationship with a girl where they throw shades to each other but they always have the other's back during games, and one day a guy flirts with her at the beach and he gets mad

I’d love to. Thanks for requesting! 😉

A Bullet Between The Eyes | Suguru Niragi

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC’s)

Summary: Niragi and you have a bickering relationship with each other. One night a guy tries to buy you a drink, not noticing the psychotic man standing nearby.

Warning: a lot of swearing, smoking, violence, threatening

Word Count: 2.6k

*reader is female

Niragi gif credit

Music was blaring through the speakers at the highest volume possible and made your ears almost bleed. You swore you could feel the bass in your bones, shaking them against each other to the beat. You had become immune to the deafening dubstep music and the annoying yells of everyone in the large crowd. People were pushed up close and personal to one another, grinding against each other like a pack of horny animals. It made you sick.

You leant against the neon-lighted bar that was fixated about twenty metres from the dance floor. You watched as people pushed each other into the pool nearby as you took a large puff from your cigarette. You had never smoked before being thrown into this horrific world, but the stress and worry brought you to consider the damaging habit.

“Bunch of idiots,” you muttered angrily under your breath. “How the fuck are they having fun? Do they not realize their brutal fates are waiting to creep up on them?”

Your close friend Sara sat in the stool beside you. She glanced at you and then in the direction you were staring. “I mean, I guess that’s why they’re having fun. They only have such a short life ahead of them,” she responded, turning back to the bar and taking a swig of her drink.

“I mean to be honest Y/N, I’m surprised you’re not letting loose of your cold attitude and having fun,” Sara stated over her shoulder to you.

You broke your gaze from everyone else and looked at her from the side. “Why is that?” you asked, curious as to what she meant.

She looked at you and smirked. “Don’t play dumb. I’ve seen you,” she chuckled.

“Huh?”

“You and that militant. You’ve been getting awfully close to the psychopath. When did it all start?” she sneered.

You pulled a confused expression before realizing what she was referring to. “Oh you mean Niragi,” you said, “We just help each other out at games, it increases our chance of surviving.” You brushed off her accusation and took another puff of your cigarette.

“Sorry if I’m being nosy, but it’s just strange,” Sara assured. “In the months I’ve been here, I’ve never seen Niragi warm up to someone. He’s always remained the same unempathetic, abusive bastard that I’ve always known.”

You stared at her side profile, not being too sure what to say.

You wouldn’t say that you had a good relationship with Niragi, considering the fact that he really did know how to push your buttons. If anything he was your enemy. But for some reason when you two were placed into the same groups to complete a game, you work together and against the others.

It was like he completely changed his persona from a cold-hearted prick to an overly protective (still a prick) figure. It gave you whiplash at times.

You let out a small chuckle and smirked at Sara. “And how would working with Niragi make me want to go and dance more Sara?” you questioned, going back to the topic you started at.

Sara turned herself around fully and stared you down right in the eyes. “All I’m saying is, if you’re looking for a quick way to die, keep sticking around Niragi. You know how he is Y/N, and when he gets the chance, he’ll put a bullet between your eyes with that rifle of his.”

She stood up off her stool and strutted towards the pool with her drink in her hand, probably to have some fun herself, considering the games were beginning in the next couple of hours. No one knew which night would be their last.

Your eyes followed her figure as she walked away. “Huh, maybe she’s just jealous,” you muttered.

You turned around and leaned over the bar, asking the bartender to make you a drink. The blonde girl nodded and got to mixing it for you. You sat in the seat that Sara previously was and let out a big sigh. You honestly were getting tired of the constant parties every single night, it was starting to get old.

No matter how hard you tried to ignore it, your mind kept bringing you back to what Sara was saying about Niragi and you. Was it really getting that obvious? Were other people noticing?

The bartender slid the drink towards you and you thanked her. You lifted the cold drink to your lips and tipped your head back, taking a big amount into your body. You wanted to be at least slightly intoxicated when the games start. It always helped ease your anxiety.

As your head began to feel heavier and your limbs became a bit numb, you noticed that the usual warm chatter that surrounded the neon bar had dissolved, almost to silence. You were confused, whipping your head around to see the cause.

You felt your face drop into a scowl as you noticed the familiar face that you hated so much. Niragi’s black and white button up turned turquoise from the lighting, and his eyes which were a deep dark black as he peered around the bar looking for something. You locked eyes with the all too familiar rifle that hung on his shoulders effortlessly, obviously just there for show. 

You pointed that out to him one time which ended with your back against a hallway wall and the barrel of the rifle pressed harshly against your temple with Niragi’s disgusting spit in your eye. “You still think it’s for show?” he hissed.

He tried so desperately to get you to be scared of him at The Beach. Why in the hell did that brutal and bully personality of his fade at the games?

You swiveled back around in your seat, facing your back towards the frightening man.

‘Why can’t he just fuck off,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Why do I have to run into him everyday.’ It was becoming a bit suspicious, the amount of times you would catch Niragi around the corner of a room you’re in. He would always play it off as by chance but you’ve begun to think otherwise.

A hand slowly placed itself on your bare lower back and someone leaned in close to your ear. “Hey there sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you all night. A little birdie told me you would be here,” you heard Niragi purr into your ear.

You cringed at his sickening sweet tone and turned away from him. You could smell the slight tang of metallic blood on him. He’d probably ‘took care’ of someone some time earlier.

“What the fuck do you want Niragi,” you growled, not looking him in the eye. Niragi chuckled at your tone.

“That’s not a very nice hello. I thought you would’ve warmed up to me by now. You seem to put an awful lot of trust in me at games.”

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and pinched your earlobe gently between his thumb and index finger. You rolled your eyes into the back of your head in annoyance and slapped his hand away from your face.

“Piss off. If you’ve come here just to get on my nerves then you can beat it.” you spat at him harshly. He seemed taken back by your bold movements.

“Are you sure you want to speak to me that way? I might just leave you to die if you’re rude enough to me.” he snickered, keeping that smug smirk on his face that made you want to bash him over the head.

“So be it then, at least when I’m dead I won’t have to deal with your annoying ass.” You stuffed the rest of your cigarette into a tray on the table and stood up out of your seat to face the tall man head on.

He towered over you, that annoying and insolent smile never leaving his tanned face. Just his face alone created a rage in you that was indescribable.

“I don’t need some psychotic man with a machine gun to protect me Niragi. I am fine on my own. If anything, I could beat your cocky ass with my bare hands alone.”

“Well you seem awfully confident. Keep that same attitude when I have you cornered during a game, you might have to prove yourself right in order to survive.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s however you want to take it sweetie. A threat or a head-start.”

You frowned up at the man, not knowing how to respond. You walked back to the seat and grabbed your jacket that hung off it. “Have fun by yourself you prick. Why don’t you choose a fucking personality and stop switching between the two. You give me bloody whiplash.” You spat down at his feet, narrowly missing his shoe and marched away from him towards the pool to look for Sara.

You didn’t want to put up with his bullshit that night. You weren’t in the mood to start a verbal war with him, especially in front of everyone.

You found Sara sitting on the edge of the pool. There weren’t a lot of people around her, as everyone was either at the bar or on the dance floor.

You placed your hand gently on her shoulder and sat down next to her with your feet in the heated pool. It was a kind of awkward silence for a few moments before Sara spoke up.

“Sorry about before, I shouldn’t have assumed anything,” she started, looking into your eyes. “I understand that it must be hard for you, being the object of a psychotic man’s desires.” She said empathetically.

You appreciated her concern, as there were times where you were honestly scared for your life around Niragi. He really wasn’t the best person to be around, but you had already known that before you got closer with him. You never thought he would become as annoying and insistent as he had.

“I’m just worried about you. He’s a manipulative and untrustworthy person and I would hate to come back from a game one day to see your body with a bullet through your head.”

You stared into the water thinking about Sara’s words. “I know, I would hate that as well. I don’t trust him like that Sara. I would never put my own life in his hands, because I know he would hurt me with no remorse whatsoever.”

You both sat in silence for a bit with Sara leaning her head onto your shoulder. You wanted to spend this nice time together before leaving, just in case anything was to happen.

“I better go,” she announced after a while. She stood up and placed her hand on the top of your head. “Good luck Y/N. Make sure you don’t die out there. If anyone can survive, it’s you.”

You smiled at her words and looked up at her. “You too Sara. Love you.”

She said it back and then trudged off into the direction of the entrance to the hotel.

You wanted to be alone with your thoughts for a bit, but that didn’t last long when a tipsy young man with brown hair decided to plop himself right next to you, a little too close to just be friendly.

“Hey love! You’re looking awfully gorgeous tonight,” he beamed, placing an arm around your shoulder. You were taken back by his boldness, not knowing how to react.

“Oh, thanks I guess? I mean I’m dressed the same as I always am,” you said trying to keep the conversation light.

“Hmm really? Well I guess you’re just always gorgeous then,” he giggled and leaned closer to you.

You started to panic a little bit. This boy was a bit too flirty for his own good.

“Hey! Do you want to maybe come get a drink with me at the bar?” he asked in a cheery tone. You looked at him in shock and shook your head quickly. “No it’s fine really! I just had one so I don’t feel like another.” you insisted, laughing awkwardly.

“No really it’s fine! Actually you know what, I’ll grab it for you. You just wait here and I’ll be back soon,” he said with a big smile on his face. It seemed very contradicting to his pushy behaviour.

You started to get annoyed. “Please, it’s fine. I was just about to leave anyway,” you lied.

The young man still pushed. You found it quite pathetic really. Was he really that desperate?

Before you could even say anything else, you suddenly saw the man fly sideways and land in the pool. Your mouth fell open in shock and you watched as he came back to the surface gasping for air. “What the fuck? Who was that?!” he yelled out frustratingly. Everyone around the pool had gone silent to see what the commotion was.

You looked back to the side of the pool to see none other than Niragi himself who had a proud smile on his face. “It was me you little bitch.” The young man’s eyes widened in fear.

“Are you sure you want to go flirting around with a militant’s woman? You might just be looking to get your head blown off!” Niragi cackled psychotically. “Go find your own toy to play with.”

Niragi aimed his rifle towards the man and everyone surrounding the pool panicked and ducked down. The man screamed in fear and started yelling to do anything that might spare his life.

“My deepest apologies Niragi! I didn’t know she was with you! I promise I’ll stay away from her from now on!”

You felt somewhat belittled. How dare he apologize to Niragi but not you. You were the one that got harassed.

Niragi let out a giggle and pulled the trigger of his rifle. The deafening sound rang in your ears and you watched as the bullet narrowly missed the young man’s head by an inch, creating a splash in the water next to him.

Niragi kneeled down with an evil smile on his face and harshly gripped the boy by his hair to lift him closer to his face. “If you ever touch her again, I won’t hesitate to put multiple bullets between those annoying ass eyes of yours. You understand?” He growled.

“Yes! I understand sir! I promise!” the boy cried desperately.

Niragi let go of his hair and watched as he swam to the left of him to scramble out of the pool and sprint away from him towards the dance floor. Probably to hide among other people so if Niragi changed his mind about sparing him he would be harder to find.

You breathed heavily in shock, not believing what you just witnessed.

“What the fuck was that?!” you yelled at Niragi. He looked down at you with an emotionless expression.

“Huh?”

“That was so over dramatic! Niragi I don’t know if you know this, but we’re not together! We’re not even friends! You can’t go around threatening anyone who lays eyes on me!”

Niragi rolled his eyes and kneeled down to get closer to your face. “Look, that idiotic boy was just trying to get into your pants. He didn’t want anything else from you. I just did you a favor, you should be thanking me!” he exclaimed.

You furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance. “I was very aware of that fact Niragi, but I had it under control!”

“Did you really Y/N? Because from the way you were shaking it didn’t seem like you did.”

You stared into his deep, evil eyes. For once, you actually felt small underneath his gaze.

“Whatever, I’m going back to my room.” You stood up from your position and scurried away from the scene. As much as you hated to admit it, you were partly grateful to Niragi from saving you from that situation. You would never admit it to him though. You just wish he didn’t do it with so much aggression.

“Would you like me to walk you back-”

“Niragi! Fuck off!”

Author’s Note: Sorry this one took a while anon. I really hope it’s what you wanted!

[scuttle-buttle]

WC: 1141

Rated: T

Tags: drunk Laszlo, fluffy, Laszlo is a flirt when he wants to be, discussions of sexual things/theory but no smut, mentions of prostitution, Freud

🍷

A loud thump from the foyer jolted you awake, the book you had been reading nearly fell from your lap during the scare. You rub the sleep from your tired eyes. Laszlo was out for John's bachelor party and you had tried to wait up for his return; clearly you failed to stay awake.

Glancing at the clock on the mantel you see it is almost 2 in the morning. The fireplace was mere embers by now. The only light was a small electric lamp that Laszlo had invested in for you to use while reading. Well no wonder I drifted off… you think.

A series of thumps, bumps, and then a soft grunt made you look over the back of your chair. "Laz? Is that you?" you called into the dimness.

Laszlo peaked his head around the corner at your question, looking completely fine despite the noises he was making. "Ah, my dear you are awake!"

"I'm afraid I fell asleep waiting for you. How was John and the others? Is he getting cold feet?" you joke.

"Cold feet is an indication of poor blood circulation, a condition of which I am sure John does not suffer. His frequent visits to brothels in the past suggests his circulation is adequate."

You aren't sure how to respond to his statement about John and his previous… proclivities. Nevertheless, he continues.

"I do wonder if there is something else troubling him, though. He and Sara have had…" he trails off as if to think of the word he needs. Laszlo blinks. You wait for him to finish his thought. Instead, he offers "well something odd anyway," with a flick of his wrist.

Laszlo still stands in the doorway, his good hand gripping the frame. He hasn't moved since you caught him. "Why don't you join me in the parlor rather than stand by the front door?"

"Ah. You see I would, however I am at a disadvantage I must confess." He hiccups and tries to cover it with a small cough.

You observe him curiously, his behavior strange. "Which would be?"

"I'm afraid I am stuck."

It is then you can make out the slight dishevelment of his hair, a strand having fallen out of place. The slight crumple to his white buttoned shirt. The way his accent has become heavier than is usual, his words are a little slurred. The way his cheeks are tinged pink under that neatly trimmed beard. And of course, the way his coat tail seems to be attached to some unseen object behind the corner.

Your jaw drops at the incredulity of your deduction. "Laszlo, are you drunk?" While he did partake in drink, it was never to this outcome nor extent.

He opens his mouth to respond yet all that leaves his lips is a sort of breathy mumble. Your peal of laughter lights up the room, a hand covers your lips to muffle the sound. "Oh love, what has gotten into you tonight?"

"Several glasses of champagne and some lingonberry schnapps," he answers very matter of fact.

Shaking your head at his antics you make your way over to assist in freeing his jacket. After a minute of finagling you are able to unhook it from the chip in the front table's edge. "If that is the case then I think it's off to bed with you, I don't doubt you will feel ill in the morning after this adventure."

You wrap your arm around his waist to help guide him up the stairs, not trusting him to climb it in this state. His left hand grasps the railing. The weaker arm hugs lightly around your back. Laszlo nearly trips over his own foot as he takes a step.

You tighten your hold on your lover. "My, Laz, how on earth did you make it home if you can barely walk?"

"The body… and the mind, are both affected by drink." His head tilts towards you as you slowly climb. "I am to find myself with the advantage of a more capable mind than most. My body, however, is... another matter." How he manages to hold a coherent conversation in this state is beyond you.

Just as you feared he would become self conscious over his arm he spoke again. "But yours my dear is exquisite. You dress in the the most flattering garments that leave me with thoughts of you and I often see that I am distracted." His weaker hand twitches along the side of your evening robe, just along the outside of your hip.

Laszlo's statement catches you off guard as you begin to walk the long hall to your shared bedchamber. You huff, heat filing your cheeks. Leave it to Laszlo to flirt with you while intoxicated.

"There is no need to be agitated. It is natural for a man to desire the touch of his lover. Freud himself argues that we all have an innate need to fulfill sexual gratification. I am glad to share that physically with you, I am quite satisfied by our performance."

"Lazlo!" you whisper loudly, echoing through the empty hall. He just stops and looks over at you with an expression that touts 'what did I say that was wrong?' You would admit that in the throes of passion with him you lost all sense of good social morals, but outside of that you found it more difficult to do so. "You cannot go around speaking about such things outside the bedroom," you try to explain, "it's improper…"

"Since when have you considered propriety? It is just sex my dear. According to Psychopathia Sexualis there are many that prefer to complete the act outside of the bedchamber. Perhaps that is something we should explore." He begins to shuffle his feet towards the bedroom once more. "And I do not recall you complaining ever about propriety while I am under you," Laszlo finishes with a smug grin.

Your eyes roll so hard they should've bounced out of their sockets. Even so, you can't help the little smile that graces your features at his attempts to be coy. You stand corrected - leave it to Laszlo to not only flirt with you while intoxicated, but to do it in the most academic manner possible. "The only under you'll be doing soon is being under the weather if we don't get you to bed to sleep this off."

"I would agree with you."

You helped him dress for bed, your usual nightly ritual, and pulled the covers up to his chin before joining him on the other side. He is snoring before you even have a chance to settle. Chuckling, you think to yourself that this will be a long night. But it is no worry to you, as you plan to tease him about it in the morning.

Tag list: @ay0nha @apparrio @livvyshmiv @fictionlandslanddreams @vinylrosess @typical-bistander @ntlmundy @mymagicsuitcase @anteroom-of-death @somethingthatsaysbubbles @lieutenantn @multiversemarielle @trashbin2 @whatawildone @metalbreakfast @laura-naruto-fan1998 @greeneyedblondie44 @godidontevenknowwhat @marchingicenotes7 @loliissmut

[six-magnitude-girl]

Real, Unreal

Summary: Eren went to war to give her a home but she left anyway...

Tags: smut, heavy angst, tragedy, no comfort, major character death, cabin core, no beta we die like Eren's heart, soulmates(kinda), LeviHan being parents, this just hurts, i blame my cramps

Inspirations:

Game Of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

Unreal (Tribute Version) - Mondays feat Dag Lundberg

Losing You - WONHO

Faded - Sara Farell

Reign (TV series)

🎧🎶 – USE HEADPHONES, PLEASE. I swear this made me feel things.

Note: A late birthday gift for @anothanobody 🎂🎉 I hope you like it. I am not a manga reader so I actually have no idea what Ch50 is but this is my attempt at channeling your Ch50au.

Eren felt a sharp pain grip on his chest. In his heart. He dropped to his knees as the pain grew, grasping on it to somehow alleviate it. He's not a stranger to pain but this one hurts so bad.

"Yeager, what's wrong?!" Tears welled in my eyes. It was as if time slowed down when I noticed the blue and black-tipped wings with violet speckles on them fluttering above me. It gently dropped on my cupid's bow but it was gone as soon as it came. Huh. So is the pain. 

He stood up as if nothing happened and grabbed the jacket from Floch's hands. 

"Continue talking." 

"Zeke?" Eren didn't say anything and continued to look at the redhead urging him to continue. 

"We checked the isolation ward several times but… Ackerman is not there."

"Keep looking." If they don't want to tell him where she is, he'll find her instead. I just want to see her again. Please let me see her again. 

The wind stilled and he closed his eyes. 

.

.

.

This is how he wakes up. The two of them in each other's arms with white sheets covering their naked bodies. 

"It's been so difficult, Mikasa..." He wanted to explain how scared he was. How desperate he was to protect her and Armin and everyone. 

The burden of being able to see a doomed future. He saw her future... Lifeless gray eyes as a pool of blood surrounded her because of him. Those animals ganging up on their little island. Mikasa fought until the end. All of them did.

He wanted to explain. He wished he didn't need to hurt her. It killed him to leave her. 

He wanted to explain but all of it remained at the tip of his tongue. She deserves so much more. So much more than he can ever give but she loves him anyway... and he loves her too. 

"Shh... It's okay now." Mikasa stops him from trying to explain like she knows. She understood him. She shifted slightly to put her hand on his face. Thumbing his cheekbone to soothe him. Eren melted. All his anxieties and worries dissipated with just one touch. 

He believes her. She wouldn't lie to him. Everything is okay now because they have each other.

Eren didn't know who leans first but they are kissing. Savoring the taste of each other's tongues. He’ll never get tired of kissing her. Mikasa blushed as he crawled on top of her. She smiled as he dipped down to kiss her, one feature at a time. Her eyebrows, both of them.  That tiny mole on her right eyelid that no one sees because her thick black eyelashes cover it. He's the only one who sees her like this. Her straight nose that's cold to touch all the time for some reason. The faint scar on her right cheek. She's so beautiful. 

You make me feel so unreal. 

Finally, her perfectly proportioned lips... 

Mikasa squirmed as Eren showered her face with butterfly kisses. Her neck that's usually covered by his scarf is bare to him. He looked around and the said scarf is neatly folded on the nightstand.

They are fully bare to each other. Just the two of them. She worked on stroking his hard member, marking her neck as he went lower. He's trying to go about this as slowly as possible. He can give this to her now… He can give her sweet now. He can give what he couldn't on their first time. 

.

.

They're all intoxicated with alcohol and good old fun. This is something reminiscent of their good old days. Grimly, he thought how not everyone will make it…

He quietly slipped away from the party. Eren feels like throwing up. He feels like suffocating… He wanted to claw his eyes out on a chance that he won’t have flashes of memories he’d rather forget. He wants to tear his heart out to stop it from wanting things he could never have. The ringing in his ears isn’t stopping. 

He didn't want to do this but he needs to. His fate is sealed. It's him or them and he'll always choose to save everyone in a heartbeat even if it tears him apart inside day by day. Even if it means not being able to wrap his scarf around her now and forever. 

"Eren, what's wrong?" Her movement is sluggish as she tries to catch up to him. Her cheeks are flushed and her gray eyes are watery. She looks at him with so much concern. 

She holds his hand to stop him from walking away. 

"Eren?" There's no forever for them. They don't even have a now. Why didn't you tell the truth, Mikasa? 

He continues walking and goes to a hotel. Mikasa's walking behind him. As always, watching him, her eyes faithfully on him. 

.

"Eren, are you sure? You're drunk…" Mikasa managed to say in between kisses. Shouldn’t this be the other way around?

If he says he’s drunk, Mikasa will surely put a stop to their activities. But he doesn’t want to stop… He wants this so bad. But if he says he’s not… "Being drunk is my only excuse for doing this to you..." He kissed her again to stop her from talking. Every time Mikasa chooses to lie to herself and retreat to her shell, he lashes out. But it’s not better whenever Mikasa shows him how much she loves him. Because when she does? he goes crazy. 

Whenever he tries to have stolen moments like this, it feels like he's only twisting the knife. If she wants to retreat to preserve a hopeless dream of going back to the good old days then at least he had this… he wouldn't die without losing his first kiss… 

"Are you okay with me doing this to you?" No matter how much he wanted her, he really shouldn't be doing this to her so he stopped. His eyes looked into her eyes to search for any discomfort or inkling for him to stop. 

She raises her hands to cup his cheeks, pulling him closer to give him the sweetest kiss on the lips. Mikasa pulled away before he could deepen it. "It's you, Eren." 

A single tear dropped on her. "It's always been you…" There was no hesitation. It was clear. 

This is real. 

"I love you, Eren." I love you too, he thought but he didn't say it. 

That was all he needed. He wants her so bad. He tore the scarf off of her and littered her neck with marks. Was he trying to comfort himself by leaving proof? Maybe. Maybe he was tired of all the hiding. Maybe for once, he wanted her to be his, just as he is hers. Mikasa's holding onto his shoulder as she squirmed underneath him. 

He went about it as fast as he could. It was as if something or someone was chasing him and they were going to be interrupted. Please, let them have this. Just this once… Nights of him imagining her couldn’t compare to the real thing. 

But it wasn't just one. So many times but it's never enough. It will never be enough. If it weren't for the fact that he's going to leave, it would have been funny that he managed to knock her unconscious. It was a good thing… because he doesn't think he can ever leave if she stops him after making love to her so many times.

The way she tastes, her breathy moans, the way she says his name repeatedly, the way she falls apart under him… She's perfect. 

It's real. 

As the sun rises, Eren leaves a naked Mikasa who's spilling him underneath the sheets.

.

.

The first time they laid together was too abrupt. It was harsh and rough. He buried himself inside of her thinking of ways for her not to forget their night. He spilled himself inside of her as many times as he could. He bit and marked her like the deranged person he is. And her? Mikasa accepted everything he gave her. His roughness was only met with gentleness. Eren didn't even tell her that he loved her too.

It's okay… they are together now. They all have the time in the world. Eren thought how forever will never be enough for him to love Mikasa. 

"Eren!" Her eyes still closed, savoring her recent orgasm. Mikasa squirmed away from him as he playfully licked her pearl. 

"I love you, Eren." his lips meet hers. 

His thrusts are slower but firm. He makes sure to bury his entire length inside of her. Milky white ring formed at the base of his cock. He dips down to suck on her pink nipples. Alternating between the two. After sucking and lightly biting on the entirety of her big round boobs, he admired his handiwork. He's pleased. He dyed her with her favorite color. He went faster making her perky mounds bounce in a titillating fashion.

He raises her legs. Pressing her knees onto her shoulder for him to get closer to her. Everything is laid open to each other. He laces their fingers and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you, Mikasa." she didn't answer and only held his hand tighter. "So much…" she still didn't say anything. She only looked into his eyes like their first night. With longing and love. So much love that it hurts… He doesn't mind. He doesn't need an answer now. As long as they are at each other's side, he'll make it up to her. He’ll make her believe him. He'll show her how much he has always loved her. As long as she wants. Now and forever.

. 

"Don't leave the bed." he pulled her back onto his bare chest.

"You need to eat, Eren," she said probably exasperated with his sexual appetite. 

After another round of lovemaking. Mikasa puts her foot down and makes him chop some wood since the fire is getting low. She kissed his cheek for encouragement before he went out and his anxiety with leaving her alone for a bit lessened. 

Mikasa's so beautiful. 

It's unreal.

She said it's okay now, right? He believes her. Mikasa would never lie to him.

"When did your hair grow so long, Mikasa?" They are back in bed, in each other's arms. Just like how it should be. This is where she belongs. 

"It wouldn't make sense for me to cut it." Eren immediately hugged her and stroked her hair. "Yeah… it's pretty. You always look pretty." she only looked at him. Her gray eyes trying to communicate something. 

"Eren, listen-" 

"Thank you for being here with me, Mikasa." 

"Eren-" he rests his head on her chest. 

"It's okay now. We'll be together forever."

"You need to let me go…" there's a silent resignation in her voice.

"What are you saying?" It suddenly felt cold. He lifted his head to look at her face. 

"Eren, please…" When he met her eyes, her grays looked dull. She'll always be pretty but it's missing that spark of blue-violet in her eyes… 

"I don't want to!” He held her tighter and buried his head harder on her chest. Trying to find something. But he hears nothing.

The most painful betrayals are the silent ones.

Tears formed in his eyes. “You told me it’s okay now!” the familiar feeling of anger and desperation came back. “You lied to me!” He’s on top of her, using his full weight to somehow intimidate her into fixing this. He’s begging her to explain herself and make things okay again. Mikasa didn’t move nor said anything.  

"See you later, Eren." 

.

.

.

.

Eren blinks and sees Armin’s ocean blue eyes staring back at him. “I knew you wouldn’t betray us, Eren!” He was engulfed in a hug but all he felt was numbness.

The curse is broken. Everyone was happy that somehow they won…

His trance broke when he saw a similar shade of gray eyes. “You better be ready to grovel in front of that Gloomy brat for all the shit you put her through.”   

“Eren, what’s wrong?!” Eren doesn’t say anything no matter how much they try to talk to him. He doesn’t deserve to talk. He never even got to say how much he loves her. Not then, not now, not once. Never.

“Mikasa’s in hiding with Sa-”

Eren toppled into the ground screaming and crying. Clawing on his chest because it hurts so much, he can’t breathe. He can’t do this without her. Please don’t leave me, Mikasa!

This couldn't be real, right? She's safe! It's not true. She's the strongest person he knows. How is this fair? But he feels it. 

This is real. 

Eren doesn’t hear the alarmed voices around him. All he hears is her nonexistent heartbeat.

.

.

.

.

Niccolo hugged Sasha as she sobbed. It was unexpected. Mikasa’s always been the strongest out of all of them, the top of their class. She’s the girl worth a hundred soldiers. How did this happen? Did she somehow screw up? Was Mikasa too lonely? Didn’t they make her laugh enough? The brunette tried to think of all the possible reasons but came with nothing. Sasha doesn’t understand.

Mikasa had an easy pregnancy. No mood swings, cravings, or morning sickness. If her stomach didn’t start ballooning, they wouldn’t have known.

Levi and Hanji talked to Sasha privately asking if she could accompany Mikasa to go on hiding in Levi’s secret cabin. She was glad to help. It wasn’t hard to imagine what would happen if the military finds out that a titan shifter impregnated her friend. Not to mention the fact that Eren was a deserter.

On paper, Sasha is the one who’s on maternity leave and Mikasa is in the hospital for Omichro? –she can't even pronounce the name– a highly contagious disease Hanji invented.

It was easy. It’s like being on a vacation. Even though they have plenty of supplies, Sasha rediscovers her love for hunting. A normal day would consist of her hunting for food while Niccolo takes care of the meals (sometimes he tags along and she teaches him how to hunt) and Mikasa mostly knits/makes baby clothes. When she’s bored she’s working on a garden she made for Levi as a thank you for taking care of her.

The birthing came too soon… Mikasa's worried the whole time about the babies. But they're healthy despite being premature. A boy and a girl. How perfect is that? What more can Yeager ask for? He better straighten up or else she'll castrate him like their farm animals back home. 

The bleeding is not stopping.

She fought… Sasha knows her dear friend did. She’s always been a fighter. After holding her children. She laid there bleeding to death, apologizing for troubling them.

Sasha wasn’t a religious person but she begged and prayed. They did everything they could but it was all for naught.

By the time Niccolo arrived with a midwife, it was too late.

Mikasa died in a room that smelled of flowers and blood. 

.

.

.

.

“So... what was she like?”

Eren didn’t spare his consort a glance.

.

“The king shouldn’t be alone.” Floch is a piece of shit as always but a piece of shit who plays politics for him. 

"I'm not a king." I was just an angry kid who wanted to protect his loved ones… 

"But they all see you as one." 

.

He can see right through Floch’s pathetic attempts. She’s got black hair but not dark enough. She’s got dark brown eyes, hers is slated gray. She has wavy, long hair. Wrong. Hers is silky straight. Polite smile in her painted red lips. Wrong again. Hers is pink, the same color of her blush and she only smiles for the people that she loves.

Do you remember the way everything slows down whenever she smiles at you?

Barely... But it’s in there. Etched into my soul. In my heart. 

“It’s been so long! How are you?“ his new consort hugged a confused Sasha who was there to drop the children off. 

“Uh... I don’t know. We’ve never met before.“ he couldn’t dodge the eyes of Carla’s godmother fast enough. Her brown eyes are looking right through him as if saying Really? Is this the best you can do? and it hurts.   

His friends didn’t judge him for his new consort, Yen Reeder. Somehow their approval of him moving on hurts more. It tastes like betrayal Eren can’t swallow. 

He was expecting her only blood relative, Levi, to kick the shit out of him but he didn’t. “Don’t.” Levi stopped me from trying to explain. “Do what you must do to arrive at an outcome you won’t regret.“ 

Levi didn’t seem to age a day. I wonder how old age looks on you? I would never know... all I know is that you’ll still be beautiful to me. “That gloomy brat chose to love you and I can guarantee that she never regretted it, up until the very end...” Yeah, that sounds like her but it doesn’t change the fact that if it weren’t for me, she’ll still be alive. 

“Ackermans don’t do regrets. It’s been years... she would have wanted you to be happy." I can’t... I don’t want to be happy without her. 

You need to let me go... 

I don’t want to! 

.

He couldn’t fuck her unless she’s got her back turned on him. He wonders if he can gag her mouth to stop her from making so many noises. Is she doing it on purpose to let everyone in the castle know what they’re doing? WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. She doesn’t sound like that. Eren closed his eyes and tried to remember her breathy moans. That’s all it takes to rile him up. Reeder tries to turn her head to look at him but he doesn’t let her. No. He doesn’t want to see her face.

He hates how he’s making someone feel good in a luxurious bed in a castle when all she got from him is a cheap hotel in Marley.   

.

.

He pressed their sweaty foreheads together

“Ereh...“ They’re both near. He kissed her tattooed wrist and laced their fingers together. I love you, Mikasa. 

Eren kissed her desperately and she returned it with as much passion and love. She loves him. Mikasa has always loved him. He rammed into her faster and harder, reaching their peak together. It almost hurts with how intense he came inside of her.  

“Mikasa!"

.

.

"Mikasa…" he finally came. Eren’s shooting blanks –he made sure that– but he still opted to finish on the sheets. He quickly got off the bed and marched back to his own room. 

.

.

“What was she like?“ Reeder repeated the question. “...Louise said she was beautiful and powerful." She tried to hold his hand but he pulled it away. “And dead before her time…" It was a good thing his consort had the sense to stop because if she dares to continue, he'll throw her off the tower. He's willing to play nice with all the politics Floch shits on his ass but she's my line that you don't cross.

Eren’s watching his son and daughter play outside. Aside from her black hair, They look like him. All him. It hurts, it was horrible but it’s the truth. He thought he was going to at least see her from time to time through them but no... It was as if she was making sure that he forgets her. “I can’t remember what she looked like...“ 

Reeder seemed to be surprised by that fact. Hope welled in her eyes. “I know as of the moment, you don’t... but do you think it will be possible for us? Maybe, someday?” she didn’t try to touch him anymore but still tried to catch his gaze. 

“No.“ Eren never spared his consort a glance and kept his eyes on their children. As much as he wants to be with her, she needs to wait for a little longer until he’s sure their children are well taken care of. 

It’s alright now.

You don’t have to protect me anymore...  

Nothing will hurt you anymore... 

I failed to protect you but I won’t let you down this time. I’ll protect them... I’ll do anything for their happiness. 

You’ll always be the one I’ll love the most. Now and forever.  

So rest peacefully and wait for me...