#sasaki kojiro ror

[samyanggs]

hi may I get valentine date headcannons for heimdall, sasaki, and adam?

Ofc i have another request that’s the same but instead of Adam it’s lu bu, Adam is gonna be shorter cuz I’m not too sure about his character/personality (valentines special(?) is coming soon)

Warning: none

Valentine date headcanons

Sasaki Kojiro

It’s Valentine’s Day! Normally he’d spend the day training but after meeting you, he’d much rather spend time with you than train.

Will bring you somewhere he thinks is romantic and because of his love for nature it’s almost always picnics (if it’s raining then he’ll stay home with you and help you cook)

Gets you flowers if you love flowers, if you rather chocolate he’ll get you some. Doesn’t matter what he has to get you he’ll try his best to get it for you.

Sometimes asks Buddha or Jack for advice since, Jack being the gentleman that he is and Buddha being the one experienced with snacks and gifts alike (and knowing how to get someone something nice without it being too extravagant)

Definitely compliments you the entire day and clings to you to make sure you know how much he loves you. (“You’re so pretty” “thank you, dear” “did you know that your eyes are very pretty?” “I do now thank you love”)

Doesn’t expect anything from you back since he decided (by himself) that he’ll be the one to give you gifts, love and compliments the entire day so when you do it to him back he gets a little flustered.

Just because Valentine’s Day is over that he’ll stop. He will never stop loving you or showing how much he loves you.

Heimdall

It’s Valentine’s Day! Yay! He expects you to give him gifts, love and attention the entire day because it’s Valentine’s Day, it goes both ways.

Clings to you and compliments you the entire day, kissing your cheek, forehead and your hand the entire time.

He brings you flowers, snacks or whatever gift you want. Anything for you. He has to ask Buddha for good snacks to give you because it’s well Buddha.

Brings you to wherever you want to go. A nice restaurant? He’s already got a seat for the two of you. A picnic? He’s got everything set up for the two of you now sit down and enjoy. Anywhere for you.

Loves getting compliments from you as much as he loves giving you compliments as well. You could be sitting down, doing anything and he’d come up to you, complimenting you. (“How’d I end up with someone as beautiful as you?” “Oh- you’re quite handsome don’t you know that?” “I do know that but you’re so pretty and beautiful and kind.. I love you so much”)

This man begs for you to let him have a long cuddle session. (And when he means long he really means it) he just loves holding you close or being held close to you. He doesn’t mind being the big spoon or the little spoon as long as you’re close to him he doesn’t care.

Will fall asleep if you guys cuddle which is why you only cuddle when it’s nearing the end of the day because the rest of the time is spent with him, giving you gifts, treats, snacks, flowers and anything else.

Adam

Would rather do anything you’d like to do because he doesn’t care as long as you enjoy it he does.

His ideal place is anywhere with you with lots of apples (1. Cuz he likes apples and 2. To disrespect the gods by spitting out the seeds) and no gods so you both can be together peacefully.

He prefers just being with you the entire time, giving you flowers and some snacks. He doesn’t expect anything from you all he wants is to be with you.

Will tell/show you how much you mean to him with gifts, touch and words.

He’ll give you whatever flowers he thinks reminds him of you. Of course he makes sure that he gets some of your favourite flowers too.

If you want to stay home and lay down together the whole day because you’re not feeling like going out? No problem he’s there, cuddling you, helping you or even feeding you.

[monstertreden]

Me when- when🛐🛐🛐💫🤧:

[rinskazuu]

rating record of ragnarok characters /10, because i can.

DISCLAIMER: i’m only rating the characters based off what the manga & anime has portrayed. i’ve done little to no research on these people themselves, which is why i don’t condone anything immoral that they’ve done. this was written before the release of chapter 73+

a/n: i think i wanna do this for every anime + genshin & val. PLS WATCH IT & LMK IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. also i dont care abt grammatical and/or punctual errors, this is a shit post

MANGA SPOILER WARNING!!

THOR: first of all, he’s so fucking hot. his smile caught me so off guard tho, i kinda just stood there watching the screen, baffled. not much character to him, he’s just hot. 7/10

LU BU: i’m chinese, i literally feel so happy when i see chinese characters. biased, but definitely a plus. he, just like thor, has little to no character. first character i called hot, is hot, but there are hotter characters. (what, i am not talking abt hermes wdym?) 7/10

HERMES: 10/10. no explanation. my man right there. i literally scream & cream every time i see him. why is he so fine. not a single panel or clip where he looks bad. pls eat me out, sir i beg. i will serve you. ONE CHANCE. JUST ONE?? i’m in love with him. who needs real men or women when hermes.

GOLL: she is SO ANNOYING. her eng & jp voice are both annoying asl. she’s that one character, that exists in mostly every anime, used to explain background info & battle info on other characters. brunhilde is too nice on her. she reminds me of when i first saw yachi (haikyuu) on screen. yachi, too, was annoying. but i grew to love her🫶. 1/10

BRUNHILDE: SHES SO HOT. ATE. SHE ALDNAHDISKZ. yeah, what else is there to say? 8/10

APHRODITE: she truly lives up to her version in the greek mythology. hottest woman/goddess alive. ate. her boobs, i want to squish them & bury my face in them. WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HOLD THEM? 8/10

ZEUS: idgaf what anyone says, he’s not hot. not even his younger self. he looks like mirio (mha) turned netero (hxh). love his character tho. the eyes scared me at first. he’s hilarious. 5/10

ADAM: my friend, the one who recommended snv to me, told me he’d be more my type. he was, minus the fact that’s he literally butt fucking naked. nice ass cheeks tho. def pretty boy, his wife is hot too. i want her more😋. his line abt fighting for his children made me cry. should’ve won. i say, let hermes be uncleless & fatherless. 7/10

POSEIDON: he was fs the blueprint for adam. anywho, yk hes fine. SOOO FINE. meowing for him. he doesn’t beat hermes tho. nobody beats hermes. well, look wise at least. it was rlly hard choosing who to root for in this fight. that’s a lie, i was always on humanity’s side. sad he died:( 9/10. -1 for being a little, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 8/10

SASAKI KOJIRO: see, zeus coulda been hot like him at that old age. man aged like fine wine. character was a W. hot, determined, good character, funny. what else can you want from a man? 8/10

HERACLES: disappointed. so disappointed. he looked better in the disney ver. this fight was so boring for me. you’re telling me i’m supposed to watch the fight instead of ogling at hot characters? no. character was okay. 6/10

JACK THE RIPPER: massive L. not supporting a murderer. next. 0/10

SHIVA: hot from the beginning. 4 arms? do what you want to me, sir. 3 WIVES? tengen (kny), is that you bro?😭 anywho, he’s cocky, def my type irl LMAO. i wouldn’t let that slide tho.. his wives are hot too😋 8/10

RAIDEN TAMEEMON: i paid very little attention to this fight. don’t remember his backstory too well (i read this fight not even 24 hours ago btw). not that good looking, not ugly either. i liked his character, upset he took 3 of shiva’s arms. why 3? why not 2? he got 1 arm left. 4/10

BUDDHA: THATS MY GOD RIGHT THERE. ate. i’m not religious, and neither are my family, but they are buddhist, so by default, i am too. i personally think buddhism is the best religion, but we’re not gonna get into that. i have very valid reasons btw. love his personality, love his looks. massive W. ofc he fights for humanity. he’s a walking W. 9/10

ZEROFUKU: precious. definition of deserved better. what made me sad, is how he was written during the fight. he’s consistently hitting, with little to no strategy. his backstory is sad, but his battle exp was written poorly. also the random ass monster possessing took me tf out. 7/10

HADES: fine ass mf. he’s so different from how he’s usually portrayed, both look & personality wise. the first W netflix has pulled. he’s hot and responsible? persephone, we can share him babes. also, the relationship between him & poseidon made me SOB. like actually. hurt so bad i made an angst edit. 9/10

QIN SHI HUANG: first off, i don’t do research on my own ethnicity’s history. i didn’t even know who tf lu bu was. my family knew tho. with that aside, PROUD TO BE CHINESE❗️ he’s so fine. SO FINE. the way his character was written, was wonderful. i loved the fight between him & hades. the tension & the lengths they went to try & win. 9/10

BEELZEBUB: his backstory was so tragic. what i didn’t like, was how they rushed his & lilith’s story. like, they kinda randomly said i love you to each other. i’d love to see their adventures tgt. lilith, leave that emo thing, and come be w me. he’s fine too. i rlly like how they introduced him. 8/10

NIKOLA TESLA: i don’t have much of an opinion on him. very chatty, which i don’t actually mind. i guess we’ll have to wait for more chapters to release before i form an opinion on him. 5/10

ODIN: the hair bro. THE HAIR. i keep forgetting he exists, but i’m not his biggest fan. not bad, but i prefer his sons. i do like the theory of him being a traitor. he looks the part. 5/10

LOKI: honestly, i liked him a lot in the beginning, but now, it’s like he’s kinda on the side. cute & hot. thor is the better brother tho. speaking of, how tf are they even brothers? moving on, i like his personality. i like his shocked, mixed w angry, facial expressions more. 7/10

ARES: the hair again. very stylish, i do like it, but it took me out. walking around looking like a school girl. i don’t like how he tries to be a know-it-all w hermes, when he literally relies on him for info. but that’s my man for you. his expressions are SO WELL. 6/10

ADAMAS: i was awfully confused, at first, when there were 3 older brothers to zeus. usually, it’s just hades, poseidon & zeus. not his biggest fan, his character was rushed. 4/10

BONUSES

JESUS: i was very happy to see jesus. i’m not sure why, i just was. why is he the only character, THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELVES? 9/10

LU BU SIMP AGENCY: 10/10. i don’t need to say anymore. W cheng gong. love that man.

FORSETI: what a loser. he was so annoying. 2/10

EVE: mother? mommy? whatever. MEOW. 9/10

SASAKI SIMP AGENCY: love them as well. 10/10. walking Ws all around.

i don’t think i’m missing anyone, am i?

[rae-pss]

okay, but hear me out on this one...

imagine a threesome with sasaki and susanoo.

[scrimblyscrorblo]

I’m half way through season 2 of Record of Ragnorok and they really tried to make me sympathise with Jack T Ripper

No. His design is fire though like omg

Coolest design ever, he sometimes has those Gojo Satoru eyes. He was a fun villainous character to watch.

I love you Kojiro and I love you Adam Bible, you had my crying Loki is a slut ngl

[dudadrawings17]

Record of Ragnarok fanfic (with OCs)

"Gods, Humans, And Their Children"

Gods, Humans, And Their Children - Chapter 1 - CapybaraFanfictions - Record of Ragnarok (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

yeah, I came back after centuries just for that. I don't know too.

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#164 Our Dadam

Adam*Smiles as his ADULT children cling to him as he hugs them*Now,Repeat after me~..."I'm Big"

Human Fighters, Cain & Abel + Y/n*Sniffling as you look at him* I'M BIG!

Adam*Humming proudly*"I'm Brave"

Human Fighters, Cain & Abel + Y/n*With breaking voices nodding*"I-I'm brave"!

Adam*One by one he lays a fatherly peck on your foreheads*..."I'm BEAUTIFUL"

Human Fighters, Cain & Abel + Y/n*Trembling lips and sniffles as you cling to his arms, legs, and waist...any place to hug him as you all cry out*"I'M BEAUTIFUL"!!!

Adam*Opens his arms wider to hug each of you closer to him smiling tenderly*There there~Gimme huggies~

Gods/Goddesses:...

[monochrome-cropcrown]

Normal sleepover at the Einherjar's

From that on, Brunhilde makes sure that they all have blankets during sleepovers.

[bones4thecats]

Adopting Their Fallen Enemy's Child (PT.3) ~ RoR/SnV x Child! Reader

Type of Writing: Poll Result Characters: Qin Shi Huang, Jack the Ripper, Sasaki Kojiro, & Child! Reader Name: Adopting Their Fallen Enemy's Child (PT.4) Original Poll Link: Here Other Parts: (PT.1), (PT.2), & (PT.3)

A/N: Okay, this is the final part of this series until the next few rounds of Ragnarok come out! Now, enjoy!!

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👑 This guy never realized a small child watching his fight against the God of the Underworld, Hades

👑 So, when he heard many Gods yelling and the small footsteps of a child's, he spun himself around while Alvitr gasped and said your name

👑 Qin Shi Huang had a small soft spot for children, and whenever he saw one crying, he'd feel so bad for them, no matter their status

👑 But, he was the most sad for you...

👑 You looked completely different from your father, the only real things telling you guys were family was the leaf markings on your face and neck, your elf-like ears, and aura you both carried

👑 He paused and looked at his Valkyrie for some help, in which she just looked at you with pity before motioning her hand to you

👑 Qin sat down next to you as you bawled where your father once stood, asking him why he wanted to fight and why life wasn't being fair

👑 The Gods and Humans gasped as Qin laid your head on his lap, he patted your head as the medical staff came running out to you both

👑 When he awoke, he saw you laying on his chest while reading a small book the staff gave you

👑 He looked at you and pat your head, causing you to hug his good hand and try healing his two missing fingers, to which he said;

" I'm surprised you don't hate my guts because of what happened out there! It's quite amazing how calm you are despite the circumstances, kiddo! In fact, would you like to stay here and watch the next few rounds with me? I don't mind! "

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🩸 Jack admired your father, Heracles, for who he was and the color he radiated, so when he felt another similar, yet smaller form running into the arena with a slight amount of fear, he froze

🩸 Humanity stayed silent as your tiny form ran out of the hallway and towards your crumpling father, crying his name

🩸 The killer and the warrior looked back and saw you, and your father chuckled, commenting on how stubborn you were

" Hey hun, don't worry about your old dad, okay? You'll see me again sometime! " " Don't lie to me, daddy! I can't stand it when you lie! "

🩸 Jack stared at you both witch a hint of sadness in his heart, but, he wondered, why did he feel this way? He never had before since he was a child

🩸 Heracles looked at Jack and alerted him with your name, making him look up from you and into your father's blue eyes, which were slowly turning green and breaking apart

" Take care of them for me, yeah? "

🩸 You looked at Jack when your father turned into nothing and sniffed as he stiffened, why would he entrust his child to someone who killed when alive?

🩸 Humanity erupted in protest, stating you should return to your family, in which you held your hands to your ears and ran to grab Jack's leg in fear, and he had to hold himself back from really making you scared

🩸 Whatever reason Heracles had for giving him guardianship of you must have been important, so, what kind of gentleman would dishonor the wish of a fallen warrior?

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🌸 You watched your father get killed in front of you, you had every right to be upset at that human right now

🌸 Sasaki sat in the medical bay healing from your father's trident hits, and when he heard the distant calls of some of the Gods, he sat up in shock

🌸 Especially when his door burst open with a young child standing there, and when you closed it shut, his eyes widened when he really looked at you

🌸 Your outfit loosely resembled Poseidon's, from the tighter top to the charm around your waist and the cloth that fell down your legs

🌸 He looked at you and at the ground in shame, you must have been very upset with him, he had killed your father, but when you said the words that you said next, his heart jumped

" Do not worry, mortal man, I do not hate you for this. Rather, I dislike my father, he should have not engaged in such a puny battle against Humanity. And, I would like to apologize for his words, he wasn't the most pleasant man in Valhalla. "

🌸 Sasaki was officially shell-shocked

🌸 One would normally hate the one who killed their parent, but the way you just maturely confessed your true motive behind visiting him, it made him chuckle to himself

🌸 You were very daring, definitely taking after your father in that way, and the way you held yourself was very similar, making him looked back on the way your father looked up at where Zeus and Hermes laid

🌸 You must've been up there with your cousin and uncle watching

🌸 Sasaki smiled and offered you a seat by him, along with a drink, in which, after a long while of talking about his battle tactics, you asked him to adopt you, claiming your uncles, besides Hades, weirded you out

🌸 He chuckled at your bold question and nodded, stating;

" I would love to take you in as my own, dear heir of the sea. And while I'm not sure your family will be happy with this development, if you are alright with it, you may call me your father. "

[perplexedhare]

[monstertreden]

Sasaki vs Poseidon in only 6 seconds

Spending more than 30 minutes to make it was worth it 💕🛐

[radioactivesweet]

Hi darling! May I have some headcanons for Sasaki, Buddha and maybe Hades or Hermes dating Nyx s/o? She's the goddes of night and the ONLY goddess Zeus feared ('cause she's older and stronger than him) Sorry for my english :(

Hello! Hope you like it^^ and dw, your English is fine :) I was having some problems with my laptop while writing this, so there may be some mistakes

Sasaki is abnormally chill about dating a goddess feared by Zeus himself, one of those occasions where you can't tell if this human is brave or just incredibily dumb and reckless. Either way, he actually knows how dangerous you could be, but this doesn't mean he would leave you. You may be strong and ancient, yet one of the few deities he could get along with, not trying to exterminate humanity and such.

Sasaki believes that as long as he treats the way he would treat anybody else, without showing fear and trusting you, you will get along just fine. You are no different from other humans to him, so is treating you as one. You have just the same felings as everybody else and doesn't want to feel different in his eyes.This may lead to him straight up forgetting you are one of the most powerful deities out there and just act like you were the same as him.

Buddha doesn't really care which goddess are you as long as you gift him candies don't try to give him orders and limit his own freedom. The reason he got close to you in the first place was the fact that Zeus feared you - so having you around meant not getting the latter close to him. Also, believing in his own strenght doesn't really make him scared of you. He respects you though and also sees you as a valuable ally. If you actually gift him food though, that's a faster way to reach his heart. He is even willing to share his with you.

Quite literally a match made in hell. You're both ancient, strong, feared, related to darkness - with you being the goddess of night and him the god of teh dead - and quite misuderstood. You immediately got along and had known each other for a very long time - before Hades' brothers were even born. It was actually Hades who had later introduced to Zeus, who has been scared of you ever since. At parties you are basically that couple nobody approaches. Even though you actually aren't that scary, everybody seems to think so - which actually grants you both some quiet time together, without anybody bothering you. On the other hand, Cerberus loves you.

Hermes is used to adapt and deal with a lot of different deities, being the messenger of the gods, so you aren't that challenging to him. At first he was quite interested in youi because of of his father being scared of you - but really he hadn't met any difficulties with getting to know you, thanks to him knowing how to interact with others. He finds it really amusing when he invites you over for dinner - with Zeus and Ares, since he gets to see them strangely and unexpectedly silent. You are usually gossipping together - since you've been around for longer than him and know quite a lot about other deities, old legends and other facts he wouldn't otherwise have never heard of - you are someone he can learn a lot from, which of course has its perks.

[thequietkid-moonie]

S/O greeting them after their fight

[ SCENARIO ] [ Thor, Sasaki, Jack, Shiva, Buddha, Qin ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

⚠️ This contain spoilers

I decided not write about about Zeus, sorry if someone wanted to read it

This take me longer that i expected! Wow! Anyway, enjoy!

Thor

He sees you waiting for him at the gods' entrance before being stoped by Lubu's army

After take care of it, he go and greet you pating you head with a sweet smile

He doesn't say much in his way to the infirmary while been followed by you, but you can tell there something diferent with him, he looks thoughtful

While his injuries were been treated he makes sure you stay by his side (the nurses don't dare ti say something about it)

After that he will tell how he would have liked to meet Lubu in other circumstances. Thor doesn't say much, but he keeps that soft expresion and smile, that human truly surprised him

After that you two stay together to see the rest of the fights, now seen the humans in a diferent way, with more respect

Sasaki Kyojiro

He was injured and bleeding, but he was smiling

After greeting you Sasaki practically fall in your arms, he doesn't have more energy, you and Hrist have to guide him to the to the infirmary to be treated

On your way he can't stop smiling and giggling, telling you how much fun he had in the fight

Both Hrist and you will congratulate him and scold him for worring you so much

After his wounds were treated you'll stay with him to make sure he rest, in the meantime he will tell you about his experience in the fight and how happy he is for his first victory

If you still worried about him and his injuries he will reassure you that he's fine, it doesn't hurt anymore.

After that you stay by his side, and with the others to see the rest of the fights. Sasaki offer you (and to Hrist too) to explain things you may not understand about the fighting techniques

When they go to help Buddha (when he meet the Gods of Fortune) he probably do it behind your back so you won't try to stop him he's too stubborn anyways

Jack the Ripper

He was injured, bleeding and people were throwing things at him and yet he walked calmly and elegantly. When he notice you in the humans' entrance he greet you with a soft smile.

In your way to the infirmary he didn't say much and he looks very thoughtful. If you offer your help he will try to denied but at the end he acepted

You wait until his wounds are treated to talk to him

When you ask him about the fight and how he feels he will tell you, but offer you some tea while both talk

This become a long talk about what happen and the colors he saw in Heracles

Its notorious that this affected him but in a good way, Jack himself expresed that he's happy to had the oportunity to met him

After his wounds were treated both of you ended up going where Hlokk she wasn't happy to see Jack but she don't force you to go away

Hlook offer you a sit and she start making a convesetion with you, that ended being she complaining about Jack, she even ask you why you are with him, to which Jack just laughed

Shiva

When he sees you at the gods' entrance he greeting you with a proud smile, as much as he would love to embrace you Shiva makes sure to keep distance (he was in fire a moment ago after all)

In his way to the infirmary he doesn't stop talking to you, asking you if you saw him fight and what did you think

While his wounds are treated you probably have to wait outsite the infirmary, but after you'll stay by his side, sitting in a comfy sofa beside him (along side with his other wifes)

Both of you will have a long chat about the fight, he had to wait long to finally fight and got excited, now he can't stop talking about it

And, for sure, Shiva will tell you how great fighter Raiden was and how he gave his best until the end

He even mentioned how he heared all your voices cheering him and that help him continue and, of course, will tease you for that

Buddha

When Buddha greet you he see how worried you was for him, he embrace you and give you a soft kiss in the forehead. On his way to the infirmary he keeps a soft smile.

His wounds were treated pretty quickly. If you were with him when he left the infirmary (with the excuse that he was bored) he just tell you to follow him, if you ask him where you're going he won't tell you. But if you weren't there he won't tell you, for sure you'll know where to find him

If you scold him for leaving the infirmary he will just laugh and tell you not to worry about it, he is fine!

He promise to take proper rest only if you stay with him, both of you ended up cuddling and eating candies

Buddha will talk about the fight just if ask, you can notice how this truly affect him, but in the end he is happy for Zerofuku (i mean he ended happy again). If you say something about how he changed to humans side he will laugh at it, to him is funny to remember it (especially the gods' reaction)

If you seem afected for this too he will reassure you that everything is fine don't worry your pretty head

Qin Shi Huang

He sees you for afar in the humans' entrance and smile at you brightly

He was helping Alvitr stand when Qin himself falls to the ground

Alvitr inmediatly start screaming for help and you run to their side, helping her carried Qin. Don't take much for the nurses to came and carry him to the infirmary while you help Alvitr

Since they were serious injured you have to wait outsite the infirmary while they are treated

Being that his condition is so delicate you will have to wait outside the infirmary. Brunhilde reassure you that he and Alvitr will be fine, thanks to the medicine of the Gods

Once he wake up one of the first things in his mind is you, he wants to see you. When you greet him Qin call you name with a big smile and a cheerful voice, he is acting as if he didn't just wake up after putting his life in risk, you'll have to make him stay still, remember him that he need to rest!

[palesublimeduck]

✨️ Or Buddha & Sasaki when they let their hair down :

And Loki or Qin when you give them a wig 💀

[deathmetalunicorn1]

ROR Virgin Destroyer Dress

(Dress designed by https://twitter.com/Dishwasher1910)

Oblivious Y/N: *back from another shopping trip where Aphrodite assisted in picking out a new outfit* Lookie~! I got a new outfit! What do you think?

-Buddha: *if he was holding something it is now on the ground in thousands of pieces as he froze in shock, words escaping him as he trotted up to him, blinking up at him as he didn’t answer you* Y/N: Love~ are you okay? *He didn’t care that you were in the middle of his paradise, snatching you up before easily pinning you to the ground beneath him, eyes red with lust and passion as hearts appeared in them* You better hope I don’t rip this, because I’m going to ruin every inch of you!

-Poseidon: Sea God.exe has crashed and burst into flames *no words came as his brain couldn’t comprehend your body in such an outfit; when he tried to speak* Dolphin sounds *his face burned bright, his cold facade breaking as he threw you over his shoulder again, sprinting to your bedroom* You’re going to pay for this!!

-Sasaki: *he dared not turn around, remembering the last time you did this, the dress that he ravaged you in for hours was hidden away, so he wouldn’t attack you again* *he swallowed hard, slowly turning as you called out his name and he felt his heart stop and instantly his hands flew to his crotch as his face burned and lewd thoughts quickly took over* Y/N!! Are you trying to kill me?! *You batted your eyelashes at him innocently, confused by his words before he quickly grabbed you, rolling you to your back so he loomed over you, his eyes blown wide with lust before removing his scarf and grabbing your wrists to bind them...again*

-Jack: *he couldn’t believe his eyes, he refused to believe them, turning back to his tea, sipping quietly, not looking over at you, thinking it was a trick of the light* *When he finished his tea he looked again, seeing you smiling warmly at him, giving a dainty twirl, asking for his opinion. He wiped his mouth on a napkin before folding the newspaper up and stood* My dearest Y/N, I am a gentleman and shall always be one. However, for the moment, I am going to indulge with you in an uncontrolled and savage way. *Before you could blink, he had thrown you over his shoulder, rushing to the bedroom as if you were going to disappear before he could fulfill his desires*

-Loki: *drops to his knees as a light shown from above upon him, tears cascading down his cheeks as he beheld the most stunning of creatures before him* *a feral grin quickly takes over as he rushes you, pinning you to a wall* Can I ravage you Y/N? Please say yes! *You turn your head with a pout, arms folding beneath your chest* Y/N: no, you ripped my dress last time *instantly he’s on his knees, arms around your hips, his chin resting on your belly, apologies falling from his lips like a mantra, hearts appearing in his eyes* I’ll beg, please let me have you, please, please, please~~~!!

-Odin: *the mug in his hands instantly shatter as you twirl in front of him, showing your newest outfit off with a bright, unaware smile. With a sigh, Muninn and Huginn are quick to make their exit again, knowing what was going to happen...again* *Odin quickly snatches you into his arm, sitting you on his lap so your back was to his chest, his large hands coming to rest, only momentarily, on your hips* You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N *you blink up at him, innocence in your eyes which only seems to make him more feral* Y/N: what do you mean? *Yeah... you couldn’t walk for two days after he finished with you but requested the outfit to be worn again. He was the only one to send Aphrodite a thank you message.*

[telvess]

Reader using pick-up lines on them

chaotic writing for the fun

Hades

“You should be arrested for stealing my heart!”

Pick-up lines, hmm? Alright, fine, but did you have to use the most pathetic, the cheesiest one? Hades is way too elegant for such a poor tasted attempt, he actually feels offended by your words.

Your first impression is horrible. Hades silently judges you. Of course, he is too classy to make any snarky comments, but you can tell by his cold, indifferent look that he has lost all interest in your company. At this point, he is more of a Poseidon than his brother himself.

If you aren’t the type of person who gives up easily and still tries to flirt… just stop. The best you can get from him would be „yes”, „no” or a nod of the head.

Buddha

“You see my friend over there? She want to know if you think I'm cute.”

Buddha stares at you for a long moment, then looks over your shoulder to check out your friend (who you obviously made up), then then returns to you. His expression is blunt, maybe slightly bored. Totally makes you lose the confidence you had a moment ago as you watch him lazily suck a lollipop and pierce you through with his unimpressed glare.

The worst he can say is „no”, right? Well, who would have thought that the enlightened mind of Buddha would prove otherwise. A drawn-out silence makes you uncomfortable and you start to squirm under his gaze, not ready for that unfazed attitude of his…

Once the confidence you felt approached him vanished and you are ready to leave as quickly as possible, Buddha begins to laugh historically. You jump up a little and stare at him confused. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he does, he looks at you seriously again and says „tell your friend I find ya cute” with the most annoying smirk in the entire universe.

Susanoo

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Susanoo watches you with harsh expression, his eyebrows raising as your attitude doesn’t change. You just stand in front of him and wait for his answer. Kinda hot, he has to admit.

He is amused by this shitty attempt, but still has to admit that it takes some balls to say something so crappy to his face. You’re bold, stupid and definitely not in your right mind.

He would definitely address all of the above and then… respond to you with an even cheaper pickup line that he thinks sounds good. He is very proud of himself and oblivious to the point that it matches his intimidating aura.

Susanoo likes a person who isn’t concerned with what everyone think of them, but he is also a person who expects others to submit to his will, which makes him rather difficult person to flirt with, demanding from you to adapt to his confusing preferences.

Nikola

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.”

BUAHAHAHAHA! HE WOULDN’T GET IT 100%!

He looks at you very confused at first, then he puts to work all of his braincells trying to figure out what you meant. Is this some kind of puzzle? Mystery? It’s clearly impressive, because he struggles to solve it!

Please, stop the brainstorming session before he starts writing his thought on the board and calls members of the science crew asking for the consultations.

After yours short explanation (which probably burnt your soul to the bones with embarrassment) Nikola nods, compliments your clever attempt and… continues what he was doing before this whole masquerade started, oblivious to the fact you just hit on him. So you just stand there and wait for something, but you last barely several dozen seconds before you run away to hide somewhere far, far away.

Much to your surprise, Nikola visits you the next day and invites you for coffee, bluntly.

Hermes

“Can I put my hand on your thigh, where it belongs?”

You sit next to him and get straight to the point. No hesitation, no shame in your eyes. Hermes’ eyes widen for a millisecond as the words leave your lips. Oh? Oh? Oh? He couldn’t help but let his lips stretch into a wide smile, trying to cover his mouth with his hand as a single chuckle escapes his lips.

When he pulls himself together, Hermes lets his playful nature take over. So you thought you were flirty? Hermes is too smart and too cunning to allow you triumph for long. Even if he isn’t interested, he will leave you with a dry mouth and wet panties. Hermes uses the tongue as smoothly as he uses the violin.

Apollo

“I'm sorry, were you talking to me?” He denies, “Well, would you like to?”

My, my, look at you! Approaching the Sun God just like this? Apollo is impressed. In fact, because of how intimidating he is, it's not often that others surprise him with such bravado. Usually they just treat him as something as intangible as the rays of the sun, bathing in his glory, praising him as a celestial being, not as a person. You - on the other hand - are a breath of fresh air.

Once the first shock wears off, his entire figure begins to glow and he gives you the most breathtaking smile you will ever see. From that point on, everything he does comes so naturally that it makes you lose yourself. After making great first impression, you end up like everyone else: Apollo wraps you around his little finger and before you know it, you just sit there and listen to his melodious voice as if you are bewitched. The man is too charming.

Poseidon

“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Peasant. Get out.

You aren’t clever. You aren’t brave. You aren’t impressive. The only person that will disappear is gonna be you, if you don’t remove yourself in the next 3 seconds.

Whoever didn’t stop you from approaching Poseidon like this, definitely doesn’t wish you well.

Kojirō

“Aren't you tired? From running through my mind all day?”

The man gives you surprised look, and moment later he presents you his widest smile. Sasaki has no clue what to say, so he just stands before you, rubbing his neck and blushing like teenage girl. He may stammers out a few words of thanks, but you really shouldn’t hope for more. Kojirō is simply not used to compliments, so even the simplest pick-up line can rock his world.

Please, ask him about swordsmanship, because it’s probably the only thing he can talk about while his brain fries in the skull.

Once Kojirō pulls himself together, he turns out to be exactly as carefree and friendly as you expected. The longer you two interact, the more open and less awkward he becomes.

Ares

“Do you have a name, or can I just call you 'mine'?”

Did you just? Huh???

Ares blinks a few times before his brain process information. He can’t believe you said something like that! Do you even know who you are talking to? He is Ares, the God of War! One of the twelve Gods of Olympus and son of Zeus! He deserves more respect, not some pathetic, human-alike attempt at flirting. He shouts all this in your face, making a big scene and ridiculing you in front of the others gods. For a moment he’s proud of himself, but your teary eyes quickly put him in a less mighty state.

To make things worse, you literally run away. At first Ares tries to ignore the feeling of guilt in his chest, pretending that your reaction was childish and exaggerated, but all he needs is Hermes to make a little remark (“Poor thing, it seems she gave her all to speak up.”) to make Ares’ face red.

He mutters some lame excuse to leave and starts looking for you. He still thinks your attempt was awful, but maybe - just maybe - his heart skips a beat knowing that some pretty miss thinks so highly of him.

Jack

“If music be the food of love, let’s have a feast together.”

Okay, this man isn’t used to hearing compliments, let alone hitting on him. Jack is a little shocked, not because he doesn’t understand you, but because you actually chose him. He doesn’t recognize you, but to his great surprise you seem to know a little about him. After all, you referred to Shakespeare. It couldn't have been an accident, right?

“Pardon me, lady?” is probably the first thing out of Jack's mouth as he’s still processing what you’ve said, but he quickly snaps out of his surprise, “Forgive me, where are my manners?”

Jack introduces himself properly, takes off the hat and bows like a gentleman. He then politely asks for your name, still fluttered that you gave him a chance.

Thor

“Did you do something to my eyes? I can't seem to take them off you.”

“…”

Neither Thor nor Mjölnir budge. Well, this is definitely something new; no one has ever approached Thor this way before, so he has to give you some points for creativity. However, don’t expect anything as Thor isn’t interested in continuing the conversation, so it’s up to you if you are interested in one-sided interaction.

Loki

“Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?”

Loki stares at you without the slightest sign of interest, twirling strand of hair around his finger. He seems distant, almost like he didn’t hear you. Then he flinches, as if snapped out of trance. His face changes in a split second: a wide, forced smile and squinting eyes screaming at you to evacuate, because you’ve hit on the wrong guy. “Do you have a death wish, woman?” Loki asks, his voice has the sweetest tone that tickles your ears, but his words spew poison…

Loki is capricious. I don’t think it’s a matter of wrong pick-up line, it's rather more a matter of right timing. But even if you choose a bad moment to approach him, he probably wouldn’t hurt you (physically) - he prefers to scare others, toy with their fear than kill them.

On the other hand, if your timing is right, then you would still bounce off the wall, because Loki doesn’t intent to give you a straightforward answer; he would like to play with you, confuse you with the mixed signals he sends. He wants a reaction from you, entertain him. If you are cocky - his goal is to crush your self-confidence. Shy? Prepare for blushing, squealing and stuttering. Ah, you think you’re being funny here? Loki will gladly turn your smile into tears.