#sassmaster

[milkcioccolato]

The Nite Owls all deserve their own pair of cunty, bitchy sunglasses they can take off dramatically to make you feel more of an idiot than you already are😌

[triski73]

The Case of the Missing Birthmark (and mole).

[soul-eclectic]

sharp claws

(its been so long hi cats tumblr)

[gremlinshatephilosophers]

You have a problem? Dan has an abundance of problems. Let’s discuss them all right now.

[bruce-slutsteen]

Hozier's "For the sake of fuck" and "For the holy sake of fuck" scolding when San Diego and Los Angeles crowds do not sing back properly.

Shout out to @for-the-sake-of-fuck for telling me this story

Sources: x, x

[sassmaster-artjay]

Posting at the end of Manananggal March

is that a thing? I'm making it a thing if it's not

Melina Alonzo, senior at Legend High. student body president. straight shooter, has a reputation for being very honest. also correct. tends to wear separates or shorts underneath her dresses. vegetarian.

Camden Alonzo, junior at Legend High. on the basketball team. hair dye tester for his older sister Melina. always tries to wear rompers or overalls, in case he trips and flies from his legs. has terrible sense of direction.

Immanuel Mendoza aka Ilona de Lis. drag queen and co-owner of Fetchquest Tabletop Gaming Cafe. Poly and in a relationship with 3 men. separates their torso to fake a super waspy waist in a corset. makes perfect meringues.

Alain Marten Sandoval, sophomore at Legend University. goes by AM, because he'll "keep you up until morning." guitarist in a band as a creative outlet while he studies to be an EMT. will separate his top half from his legs to show off his abs. loves to have a good time.

tip me if you can! Kofi linked in bio

[peppapigvevo]

HEY YOU KNOW WHO SHOULD GET A CREEPRODUCTION 2 PACK SINCE THEY WRRE NEVER RELEASED IN ONE DESPITE HAVING MONSTER/CHARACTER TYPES THAT DEPEND ON EACH OTHERS EXISTENCE??

[sunshineandlyrics]

Sassy Louis at Main Square Festival, 4 July 2024.

[basiatlu]

hello!! i saw your post about the art raffle and wanted to throw my prompt in the ring! i would LOVE to see more of your professor harry in short shorts, but maybe going for a morning jog with professor malfoy who is not at all good at exercising and can barely even make 1 lap while harry cheerfully jogs past him. just draco wheezing and sweating and staggering forward at a pitifully slow pace, harry with gorgeous thighs glistening in the morning light

I would love to see more of him, too, you knowhatimean

Professor Malfoy is too busy withering to enjoy the view, sadly.

Based off this silly cross country meme I found omg

[assortedvillainvault]

Me, sending Thalassa another ask after a long tumblr absence? It's more likely than you think ;)

My request this time is more Shen x Reader...but through the Henchwolves' POV

Gimme that minion gossip 😆

It's benn a Goddamn Minute since I wrote anything for the murderbird, please accept this humble offering my friend! This is set loosely within Shen's hostile takeover of his family's palace, just pretend it's taking a few months longer for Po and the Furious Five to arrive.

Lord Shen x Reader (Henchwolves POV)

Sooo...the boss’s in looovvveee…

Ok well it’s more like Shen is speed-cycling through every emotion under the sun, like some kind of cursed knife throwing merry-go-round.

From an outside perspective that part is no different to how he normally is, really, potato tomato.

But ever since YOU entered the picture, he’s been swinging between regality and rage like it’s going out of fashion.

This would normally be time for the wolves to about-face and shamelessly hide behind the hired muscle of the rhino and gorilla guards, but between your bemused reactions and the Soothsayers amused snorts they have front row seats to China’s cheesiest love story and they’re not missing ANY of the drama.

Don’t forget, the wolves have followed Shen for nearly two decades by now – they know him. His ins and outs, his twitches and grandiose gestures. The way his right eyelid twitches when he can’t feel the knives in his sleeves.

They’re not familiar with the way his elegant steps stumble when you surprise him. Or how he loses his train of thought and sputters when you question his judgement. Or how he seems to fight the noble training of several years to fidget with his robes before posing just so to meet with you.

Guards from both the throne room and the gardens noticed his tail sweeping and twitching when talking to you, and in their experience, Shen’s tail is a dead giveaway for his flintstrike temper and at the time they were 99% certain he was about to stick a knife in your back and call it a day…

...until he presented you with a custom ordered gift and his overwrought nerves had his tail nearly leap into it’s classic fan as he awkwardly swallowed a squawk into a cough, trying to pretend this was a spur of the moment thing rather something he'd agonized over in private for five days.

At guard change they all but barged into the guardroom mess, hollering and sniggering.

“Shen’s PRESENTING!”

Chaos ensues. Bets are taken, at least one table is broken. One poor bastard ends up tossed from a fifth story window. He's probably fine.

It’s all boss wolf can do not to roll his eyes.

In contrast to the rest of the henchman – he operates much closer to Shen in a day to day capacity. So HE’s the poor bugger having to endure Shen’s erratic mumbling as the neurotic bird pores over battle plans, supply chains, letters and negotiations from nobility and powerful individuals to bribe. All that, he can deal with.

...What he can’t deal with is the way Shen’s eyes will glaze over mid mumble and suddenly he’s got an earful of spoiled royal lamenting how 50 reams of china’s finest silks isn’t even close enough to a satisfactory nest and How is he supposed to curry your favour if you only have 25 colours to choose from???

Fucking. BIRDS and their obsession with shiny shit.

Meanwhile, the Soothsayer is very much enjoying watching Shen work himself into a knot over whether or not he should ask her for a love life prediction.

It’s just a waiting game before he cracks. And she’s more than happy to trip him up and poke fun in the meantime, catching your eye from the background and winking as she eats his sashes and pulls fake prophesies out of her ass.

(She approves of you, don’t worry, and she lowkey is happy for Shen to have found someone as wonderful as you, but also: you deserve better and her lingering fondness for Shen as his former nanny doesn’t blind her to that.)

Hope you enjoyed these headcannons friend!

[lamardeuse]

seriously though the only thing I saw in this episode was that Buck wants to be someone's wife soooooooo bad

[spiralocean]

idk why but the, "on the bed, huh?" really tickled me

[cyborgcourt]

I will never get over Kaider largely because of the fact that Cinder started out trying to act all “immune to [Kai’s] charms” only to later end up with him, married and all. Forget character growth and development for a second, this outcome replenishes my soul

[sassmaster-artjay]

a kiss on the hand may be quite continental

-

Barbie, the glamorous OC of the sweet @spooky-pens, a payment for her finding me some of Lily Chengs' clothes for Jinafire ❤️

[peppapigvevo]

also, Frankenstein made his monster out of corpses, Dracula drank blood, PENNYWISE ATE CHILDREN, did you say shit then or is that reserved just for the icky brown people cultures?

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Jack: [starting a strike] Whoops-

Davey: Whoops? Whoops? This is not a "Whoops" situation. We are far past whoops. "Whoops" is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. We are solidly in "OH SHIT" territory, and I expect you to act like it!