#scary to be the adult in a relationship

[bog--unicorn]

I lost my old dog earlier this summer. I knew it was going to devastate me and I’m glad to say it hasn’t. The last gift she gave to me— not devastated, but transformed. Oh I miss her. She was my first best friend out of college. She was with me in my first shitty rent controlled apartment. When I got married. When I got my first house. She was here when we first got to the farm. She waded into the bog with me in high water. I dreamed of her last night. She and Cider were both in my kitchen and I was about to feed them breakfast. Annie sat in front of me and bowed her head like she used to do, inviting a hug. And I hugged her again like old times, with Cider watching. Thinking about that now with Ci sleeping beside me. I miss her. If I know anyone half so good I’ll be blessed beyond measure. But I was so glad to hold her again in my dreams. I’m so lucky. I miss her.

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

[beebfreeb]

Little things about Marcille make me so so so sick. Reading a book with the first character that's anything like you at all in even a somewhat respectable way and falling in love. She doesn't know anything about the food her mother grew up eating. She is subtly different from her peers and has never been sure where she fits in. AND despite those experiences she still falls victim to prejudiced thinking. She and Kabru should be besties who verbally fight like rabid dogs.

[rooolt]

Unfortunate but true fact of life, scary marlowe is so mal from descendants core

[cha1cedony]

Thinking about all of the teens’ fear of abandonment. I think it’s simultaneously why Normal and Hermie never worked out AND why Lincoln and Scary did lol

[sunnwalker]

THANK U for being one of the ONLY borderlands artists that's anti proship... ive seen so many fucking j*ck*thy arts people are excusing bc "they're not real people"... huh????

Thank u for keeping ur blog sane and safe bless ur art

im so happy that my blog can feel safe like truly that means so much to me !!

But yeah it's absolutely wild to me how there's such a lack of non proship artwork floating around (in terms of ship art obviously), and idk I just kind of wish it wasn't that way? I'm not gonna tell people to stop, cause I know it won't change anything, but I want to see more healthy and viable relationships as a person who has been treated as a thing more often than as a partner in my own relationships. It's healing, it's coping, it's whatever, and I don't really jive with proship stuff. It's uncomfortable and sometimes scary even. A couple of certain popular ships that I'm sure I don't need to name just put a pit in my stomach also in like a bad way so 😁

i ramble a bit but my main thing is i specifically want to come off as anti-proship I don't want there to be any question about it I don't care for it!!!

[andromedasummer]

you know what i would love to be an option in bg3? making your own party member. like Icewind Dale style. choose their class, voice, appearance and travel with them. obvs i understand why they didnt, but it wouldve been so fun to have the option to make your own member, esp if they could be incorporated into your backstory. a sibling, parent, spouse, adventuring buddy, best friend.

[just-rogi]

The unexpected side effect of spending a week around other mature secure adults who have healthy boundaries and communication and have been hand picked by my closest friends to be the best and healthiest people they can be, all of whom genuinely like me and communicate their needs, is returning back to my apartment and realizing just how different shit is here…. Like damn I know I’m moving out in ten days and so so so happy but wow, it was fucking NIGHT and DAY seeing how people are supposed to act I didn’t realize how different my college friends were, it makes me so much more excited for this next leg of my life and my move!

[77ngiez-archive]

stalker sanya is canon btw bcs i said so

[spohkh]

learning how to confront awkward/uncomfortable situations and have a productive conversation about it is the single most valuable skill ive developed as an adult, especially now that more and more i need to advocate for myself wrt protecting my health

[farmlesbians]

everybody who says their parasocial beef celebrity is joey king or bailee madison or someone similar is a loser like thats so basic everyone “hates” them its like a Thing.. be like me and have intense parasocial beef with dylan minnette from wallows

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

[x-letsbreaksomerules-x]

genuinely fucking hate people who act like people being attracted to short people is weird or creepy i think i need to kill someone

[nomaishuttle]

its literally so insane that my brother has like parents who arent young like thats insane... they were 34 when they had him... they were 20 when they had me which like isnt Insanely young but its still young yk. young enough that ppl r like Omg yr parents r so young ! when i say how old they are... but theyre gonna be 40 next year WHICH IS CRAZY. 40 year old parents hes like a kid from a disney channel show.

[sooptea]

Thinking about how i had a not zero amount of symptoms that i never told adults about while i was a child. And now i just spend the foreseeable future not know what's wrong with me

[dizzybevvie]

My mum abt to slag off the family members Im closest too for no reason