#scenes I quote on the regular to make myself giggle

[joyfuladorable]

2k3 things that always make me laugh Part 1/?

Mikey and Don's response to Leo's sick burn on Raph in S1E1. Like Seriously. These two were just Oozing shitty younger bro energy I Love Them 🤣

[myslayreviews]

The Ultimate 80's Killer Movie

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

The 80s were likely the most influential decade when it comes to the horror genre of film.

On one hand, we have slasher icons who were born in this decade, such as Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger. On the other, there is Stephen King and many of his filmic adaptations, the most iconic one being ‘The Shining’. However, if neither of those is your taste, there are plenty of charming and cheesy B movies. A personal favourite and a cult classic is the 1988 masterpiece titled ‘Killer Klowns from Outer Space’. Being the one and only feature film made by the Chiodo brothers, they made sure that this film has everything: klowns, killers, extraterrestrials and extravagant character design; what more could you want? The film perfectly encapsulates the 80’s zeitgeist of the cheesy horror genre, while staying perfectly self-aware and satirical throughout. 

The plot of the film begins as two teenagers in their late 20s head over to their local lovers’ lane to do local lover stuff. Debbie Stone and Mike Tobacco’s plan is disrupted by a strange shining object in the sky, which we later find out is an alien circus tent spaceship meant for trapping humans in flesh-dissolving cotton candy. So far, the plot is treated as very regular and normal, but this changes when we find out that the extraterrestrials are not little green Martians the way we usually picture them; they are, in fact, klowns! Killer klowns with a k alliteration, to be precise. All they want to do is terrorise the Californian town Crescent Cove and drink human blood. They achieve these goals by various methods: acid pies, popcorn guns, living hunting balloon animals, shadows of shadow puppets that can actually eat you, et cetera. Oh, they can also shapeshift and give birth through the popcorn gun bullets (the popcorn). After the teens explore the inside of the circus spaceship and discover the human cotton candy cocoons, they run off to let the police know. In a typical police manner, one of the officers thinks they are being pranked, while the other decides to investigate. 

The true beauty of this film lies in two factors. The first one being its tone. The film embraces its own absurdity and the context of its own creation. It is a slapstick horror comedy that is fully self-aware and pushes its own ridiculousness as much as possible. Its genius lies in its own stupidity. Even the actors' performances are flat and cheesy, which would usually be extremely off-putting, but it perfectly compliments the tone of this film. The entire runtime of 1 hour and 28 minutes had me completely invested in the plot (holes), feeling like I’m involved in some inside joke while giggling to myself.

The second factor that makes the film brilliant is its aesthetic and mise-en-scene. The costumes and klown masks were made by the Chiodo brothers as their main career path is special effects design, making every single klown is unique and recognisable. The film has the same atmosphere as nightmarish children’s shows, making it appear very nostalgic and dreamlike. The surreal design of huge klown heads and their various whacky equipment makes the visuals of the film very uncanny and bizarre.  All in all, this film brilliantly parodies the entire decade of filmmaking. It mocks itself, as well as the whole culture surrounding it. This aspect of parody is visible even before one watches the film - it is in the poster, which takes a famous quote from the 1979 ‘Alien’. So I will leave you with this quote: In space, no one can eat ice cream.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Ezralia Vali, but all my friends call me Elv

Writing Blog URL(s): @ezralia-writes (@haylo4ever was my OG writing account 5 years ago)

Age: 19

Nationality: Asian American

Languages: English and un poco Espanol

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: INFJ

Favorite color: As of now, red

Favorite food: Pasta

Favorite movie: The Golden Compass, but Howl’s Moving Castle and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time are close choices too

Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla with chocolate syrup or caramel

Favorite animal: Narwhals

Go-to karaoke song: Uh, Who Do You Love (Monsta X)

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): TBH, my dream job is being a manager/CEO of a tech job (realistically) or a backup dancer for kpop groups (unrealistically)

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Neither, hot coco (coffee in the future to keep me sane)

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Mind-read 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? Sengoku Japanese period or in England when kings and queens were bloody powerful 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? Yes

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? 100 chicken-sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? Please, I wanna be in the nerdy girl and jock romance but honestly, I’m probably just the side, hermit character.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes but I know they don’t exist 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? Uh, I talk a lot about myself but I have trypophobia - there should not be holes in things that are supposed to be whole.

What fandom(s) do you write for? As of now, I write for BTS, GOT7, NCT, Monsta X, and Stray Kids

When did you post your first piece? May 26, 2020 (Dec 7, 2014 was my OG post on ff.net haha)

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write fluff, angst (lots), and sometimes crack. While I can rec some awesome smuts, I don’t feel comfortable writing explicit smut as of yet, although I will elude to some smexy time. I do have a WIP that I will one day write that will definitely include smut because it’s part of the story.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? I have some OG OCs and my starter fics on Tumblr were third-person female reader. However, recent works include x you (reader) and I find that really fun and easier to write! I don’t really write any ships for Kpop.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Having read so many awesome works on Tumblr made me want to write and hopefully have other readers experience the same feelings I do when I read that great piece. However, my original goal was just to write for Monsta X since there aren’t a whole lot of fics for them but also because I have too many ideas running in my mind. Lastly, I just write for myself.

What inspires you to write? The groups I write for, other things I read (like mangas and/or shows), and especially songs!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? I write best fluff for established relationships because otherwise it’s all just angst, which is a lot of fun to write while keeping it not too toxic unless stated otherwise for plot. I also love silly fics for giggles. As for Au’s I enjoy regular day to day life with a spin or fantasy based Au’s.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? I hope they just feel a strong emotion - depending on the genre. I hope that they get to the end and find all the nuances I try to sprinkle throughout the story hinting to clues or plot devices. That’s always what I try to aim for.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? Cry. Jokes aside, I take a break/breather to refocus and take time for myself. I also read professional works to take my mind off things or get inspired. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? My personal favorite of my published works would be my Han Jisung x reader, Promise. It was my first kpop fic and a gift to my friend. I think it’s a hallmark of my return to writing and I look forward to publishing more of my favorite plots! My most successful is Spiderling, a Jeon Jungkook x reader fic, not surprised at all that my first official BTS fic would be the most popular one of my current works haha.

Who is your favorite person to write about? Honestly, I have so many ideas for Changkyun haha. I feel like he’s totally boyfriend material and can fit different roles from a total fratboy to a soft boyfriend. But I’m trying to expand both my writing and pairings and it’s a fun challenge to write for the different boys.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? I actually do! In my honest opinion, fanfiction is work about an already established character/person/universe. It’s easier for me to think up ideas for characters already prepped because I personally get lost in the details already of thinking up terms/universes to place the story in. I have a character that’s already established and people know about without having to elaborate on those finer details.

What do you think makes a good story? Proper formatting goes a long way. While I don’t judge on grammar and spelling mistakes, it is a much smoother read if people follow basic narrative-writing skills. I feel like anyone who can embody their own style and ideas (without being discriminatory or mean), then they’ve really got me hooked.

What is your writing process like? A mess. I know a lot of people outline, and I try that sometimes. But, normally I just get straight into writing what I’ve brainstormed, maybe adding some notes for future events here and there. If I get tied up at a certain part, I make a messy line break and start another scene.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Yes. Funnily enough though, I repurpose my original storylines for fics, but if I could, I would write an original story.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? I can’t stand cliches but I WILL cry over them if they’re well-written and/or have a spin on them. So, ultimately I’m down for anything. Enemy to lovers isn’t always my favorite but @gukyi​ does a great job, since that’s her renowned trope.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? A lot! I have a few lovely mootz that always have something nice to say, but I would love more reader interaction! Of course, I’m a newer writer and haven’t blown up so it is to be expected that I’m a little lonely right now. I hope that’s not a long-term thing.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Who I write for. I hate to be blunt about it, but certain members and/or groups truly are more popular which is a shame at times. Plus, interacting with more mootz and authors as well as joining discord chats and networks helps by meeting new people who will interact with you and your content.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes, at times and with certain topics. We all know people will go on anon and tear anyone down for whatever reason.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Definitely! Writing for the public,(especially fanfic and reader-based fics) especially in these times, means you have to adapt and adhere to the ever-changing times. We have a role to play in how people perceive things, whether that’s regarding an IRL person or how we view others with representation.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Huh, as of now, I feel like I’m writing for myself. Without a lot of interaction, I don’t feel pressure. I do want to write for other groups, but as of now I’m trying to pick up speed with certain groups. I have a lot of WIPs, so we will see where I end up.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? Not that I know of, haha.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? No, haha.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? I love you!

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t be afraid! It’s scary, but the worst that can happen is not writing!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? HAahaha, only because the site’s interaction roles have drastically dropped and a lot of the features suck. But the people I’ve met… priceless. I love them all and a lot have impacted my life so positively.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? Yes! All of them!

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

Stan yourself first! <3

[esperwatchesfilms]

New Year’s Evil

I got the idea to start this challenge while stoned in the middle of the night and desperate for a goal. Something to put myself into. And I thought, “COVID has made me a shut-in who only watches films and talks to people. What better way to spend that time than to actually attempt to beat that world record I set out to beat so long ago. Unfortunately, I’m doing it very unofficially so only the people I talk to on a regular basis are likely to pay it any attention. I’ve got to point out here and now that my scoring system for films is arbitrary and is not a true reflection of how much I enjoyed watching a film. My scores are based on silly things that I give and deduce points for as I see fit. The Esper Scale of Entertainment (or the ESE) is understood by no one, but I will give a clear indication of why points were given and taken away at the end of each post. With those two things out of the way, I’ve got to admit I really enjoyed New Year’s Evil despite its 35/100 ESE rating. It starts off with a disappointing horror movie rule-breaking trope. There’s a woman of color in the first scene. Clearly, this means the killer is going to kill her. She committed one of the ultimate horror movie sins by being a woman of color, and thus, the movie gods decided she had to die, which was made even worse by her cliché killer-pops-out-from-behind-a-shower-curtain death. Then we get the opening titles. About eight 80s punk-rockers are packed into a convertible and blasting “New Year’s Evil” by Shadow, the video I attached to this post. So, from the word go, I have no idea what I’m watching, but I’m here for it. The song slaps, so I’m immediately all in. Earlier we saw the Yvonne (the woman of color) talking to a friend over the phone saying, “I’m on my way” before her horror-movie-trope demise, and once the credits end, we are more properly introduced to Diane, aka Blaze, a TV/radio personality who is hosting a party she calls New Year’s Evil, which appears to be a punk show where all the opening title convertible punks were headed. Before going out on stage and starting the show, Diane/Blaze’s son rocks up in fancy coat tails with blue jeans and a crumpled tie. He’s handsome as hell, but holy hell, I can’t deal with this look. I should have probably taken more than five points off for this look alone, but it’s too late now. Anyway, Blaze and Derek (Coat Tails) have a weird mother-son exchange, and their interactions are cringey at best, but incestual-feeling at worst. Anyway, the show Blaze is hosting is a punk rock show where there are some unexplained people on a stage answering telephones (is it a telethon? We don’t know. No one seems to be pledging anything. Are they making requests? It is not explained). So, Blaze is the host and decides to get in on the answering-the-phone action. When she does, a modified voice says to call him “Ee-vil!” He pronounces it exactly the way Mermaid Man does in Spongebob Squarepants, and I could only see the ridiculous face of Mermaid Man in my head any time he said it (because, oh, yes, friends. He can’t only say it once! Anyhow, the man says he’ll be killing one person on the hour every hour from 9 pm to 12 pm. (East Coast’s New Year to West Coast’s New Year) So, naturally, Blaze informs her agent that he needs to get ALL the police there to protect everyone. Meanwhile, there’s a mosh pit happening in a sanitarium, where they are watching the New Year’s Evil show live on television. While we are at the sanitarium, an orderly (I think?) and a nurse sneak off to have some fun. The orderly has a small radio capable of recording external sound (like an oversized Talkboy) as well as the sound being emitted from the radio. The nurse makes some mention of it, to which he responds, “I always come well-equipped.” She giggles, bites her lip and says, “I bet you do!” Which tells us, as the audience, that not only are they about to do the do... but this dude’s definitely the murderer. Because we’ve already seen one horror movie rules death. So, of course, we need to see another. Nurse lady has sex? Nurse lady has to die. From here on out, there are more killings as the police rock up and try to sort out what’s happening. They’re portrayed as very useless, very authoritarian/demanding, and very judgmental -- soooooo, accurately, I suppose, is the word I’d use. They’re portrayed accurately. We see the killer in the car with two women, one of which is a ditzy blonde who just cannot shut up. She talks about all the different types of meditation she’s tried. She tells the killer her friend tried one of the types, too, for her “nervous diarrhea”. You know, just the thing you tell a stranger you’re thinking about sleeping with... that your friend gets nervous poops. The ditzy blonde girl is our next horror movie trope. “The Fool”. Done in by her own stupidity. They stop somewhere for snacks or some such (I honestly don’t remember), and the friend goes in leaving the killer alone with the ditz, whom he strangles with a plastic baggie that is also full of weed. When the friend comes back, the car is gone and in its place is her friend’s shoe. She sees a nearby dumpster with a piece of fabric matching her friend’s dress poking out. She walks over while some generic horror music mixed with some Walmart Brand Jason Voorhees breathing plays, and she opens the dumpster, and the killer is inside with a lighter which he flicks on and grins menacingly at the woman, who is yanked into the dumpster, where we can assume she, too, was murdered.

I should note that somewhere before being murdered, the ditz says, “When a girl doesn’t have a date on New Year’s Eve, she’s in Shit City.” And ditzy girl? I hear ya. From here on out, there are some necessity injuries. He is being hunted down by bikers for what seems like no reason at one point, so he hides at a drive-in movie, where he sort of kidnaps a girl who was getting felt up by her boyfriend. He yanks the dude out of the car and throws him aside after stabbing one of the bikers who was chasing him. We don’t see him die, so I’m going to assume it’s an injury since he seems to only be interested in killing women. He then, later, knocks out a security guard trying to get into the punk party because the police have now determined that Blaze is probably the final target. The police and Blaze are about to check on Blaze's hotel room (the party is being held in the hotel in a ballroom or something, I’m assuming. Convention center? I don’t know. The place is connected to the hotel), where her son is, and they pull a gun on him. She yells that it’s her son, and they apologize and leave, and she apologizes to Derek saying she forgot he was there, and he storms out, “YOU ALWAYS FORGET ME WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”. The police leave, and when another officer comes back, THE KILLER ANSWERS HER DOOR. PLOT TWIST -- THE KILLER IS DIANE/BLAZE’S HUSBAND!!!! He called earlier to say he would be late, and when he shows up? HE’S THE KILLER!!!! I have to admit, I didn’t see this coming. The husband was mentioned briefly, but my brain didn’t connect it, so it was a pleasant surprise that this 80s film done duped me. Good job, New Year’s Evil!!

Anyway, Blaze is seen in the elevator moments later flirting with the officer, who’s married and has two sets of twins, information to which Blaze comments, “What’s the matter? No TV?” Suggest, Blaze. Very suggestive! It sucks that your creepy murder-husband rigged the camera in the elevator, so he knows about your weird suggestive conversations with randos, something it seems his son has also alerted him to, because when he reveals he’s the killer to her, he mentions that ladies are evil in general. Okay. So, it wasn’t just me. It wasn’t speculative. Dudeski really does just hate women. The whole film is just, “Guy hates women. Guy’s New Year Resolutions include killing all the nasty womens.” He tortures her a while by handcuffing her to some chains underneath the elevator, and then making the elevator go up and down with some fuse box of some kind that happens to just be easily accessible and next to where the elevator is. At least I haven’t seen this form of torture in film before, so that’s fun. The end is relatively boring. The police sort out that the husband used to be in the sanitarium we saw earlier where the nurse died. They find him torturing his wife, and they chase him to the roof, where he runs to the edge of the building, quotes Hamlet, and immediately plummets to his death wearing a goofy mask that he’s only worn twice in the film, both for short periods of time. He dies on impact, and everyone goes to investigate the body. The son picks up his mask and ominously stares into the distance, telling us before he’s actually told us that he’s totally going to take up his father’s quest to murder the womens.

Blaze is put in an ambulance, and when it pans to the driver, it’s the son, wearing his father’s mask. The film ends, the credits roll, and I move on to the next one.

Overall, I laughed throughout. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this film, but if you’re bored on New Year’s Eve and feel like a “horror” film, this one isn’t the *worst* one you could watch. Below, you’ll find a breakdown of the ESE rating I gave it.

Quick ESE explanation: every film starts with 50 points for being a film. From there, I add or deduct points based on... my whim.

35/100

50 +4 for packed punk convertible +2 for New Year’s Evil 80s metal theme song +1 for switchblade comb -5 for coat tails with blue jeans -5 for creepy incestuous mother-son duo -2 for Mermaid Man pronunciation of “Ee-vil!” +10 for “I always come well-equipped.” “I bet you do” -5 for punks moshing to some funky blues -5 for predictable horror movie trope deaths +2 for maniacal punk laugh +3 for the “Oops” because he pissed off the bikers +5 for punks booing the police at the New Year’s Evil party -7 for the creepy incestual feeling of the interactions between Blaze and Derek +10 for PLOT TWIST!!!! -25 for the woman-hating killer +5 for creative elevator thing +2 for Hamlet quote -5 for highly predictable ending

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 1x5 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

Here I am again with another AWAE rewatch. Writing these takes longer than you might think, so I don’t know how regular I can keep those coming, but I’ll see what I can do. For the time being, let’s dive into another episode:

And this episode opens in the best way possible - with Shirbert’s first spelling scene. Little did we know how important those would become - although reading the books kind of gave us a hint of it. And yet, this is one of the added charms of this incarnation of the story.

I have to say Mr. Philips is not being subtle with the words he is giving them to spell.

And there goes Gilbert’s first skipped E - in the word engagement, no less. That letter was given a lot more emphasis here than in the source material, and I live for it. 

“Anne, are you feeling alright?” Knowing what milestone Anne experiences later on in this episode, Anne’s discomposure probably has little to do with Gilbert’s effect on her. But who can ever know for sure? I have to say, this episode had one of the cold opens I call “gold opens”. 

And there it goes - Anne’s dramatic reaction to her first period. Is this an appropriate time to complain about the lack of health ed kids get in this setting? I mean, she would not have reacted like this if she had been talked to about this and knew what to expect. I doubt anyone’s reaction would be any different if they didn’t know what periods were, woke up in pain one night and discovered they were bleeding. Also, Anne better not be soaking that thing in hot water, or else the stain is never coming out. 

Anne’s “I’m not ready to be a woman” speaks so much to me. WARNING: intimate personal experience coming up. I remember my first period. I had just turned fourteen about a month prior, and I had pretty much stopped anxiously awaiting it after I had done so since they talked about it in health class when I was 12. So, when I went into school for a test one day 6 years ago - I was really sick so I only went in for the test in the middle of the school day - I was focusing on the material and on suppressing my sneezes so I wouldn’t spread the flu to others. I was not at all expecting to go into that test a girl and come back home  a woman. Yes, I was in pain, but I thought it was the usual stress pains I would get during important tests amplified by my sickness. Anyway, so after that day, for years after, I would cry when I got my period and insist that “I am not a woman, I do not need this” and this emotion was so strong in me that it would result in progesterone deficiency and my period would skip for months and I would be on meds for so long. Then, when I was 17, I talked to a therapist about this and it turned out my refusing to accept I was a woman (as opposed to a girl, not that I was questioning my gender) was making my body try to suppress my womanhood. So yeah, it was tough. But I’m ok now and Anne’s reaction just brought out this personal memory. I’m sorry. Maybe I didn’t need to tell you all this, but it’s closely tied to my reception of this episode, so the way I see it I couldn’t go without it. 

The way Marilla shooed Matthew out made me think. Was the existence of periods supposed to be kept a total secret from men at the time? Because that is not ok. Even today, there are a lot of men in the world, probably the majority of them, who don’t know the simplest thing about periods.Those are men who have mothers, sisters, girlfriends, daughters - they interact with women close to them and they at least need to know what to do and what not to do to make that time of the month easier for the women in their lives. But they don’t because nobody teaches them. This is just another part of making periods seem like a shameful thing that is to be kept secret at all times. And that’s not ok. But we’ll get back to that in future scenes.

While Anne is turning into a woman physically, Gilbert has to grow up too fast in a different way. What he has to go through with, and then without his father is just heartbreaking. Getting your period is a good and healthy, if unpleasant, way to grow up; losing your father - just the opposite.

Marilla cracks me up. “That explains all the children” is her hilariously deadpan response to Rachel saying she’d rather be pregnant. And I’m glad to see both women find it as hilarious as I do.

I’m even happier to see the girls at school are laughing together, too. However, things get serious quite suddenly. Apparently, Anne has just told them about her new maturity, so now they’re all sharing their experience. However, Ruby reminds me a lot of me in the same situation. Remember that health class I had when I was 12? It provoked a lot of discussion among us girls afterwards, and that was incredibly awkward for me because I was apparently the only one who didn’t have it yet. So yeah, I was Ruby in this situation, but I would go on to become Anne saying “Trust me, if I could give you mine, I would.” It reminds me of another personal story, and you’ll have to excuse me for telling it. A lot of my personal stories are coming out here, but I guess it’s the topic of the episode and there’s no way for me to comment on it without relating those stories. So, about a year ago when my 11yo cousin told me she’d gotten hers, I was in another one of my so-called “period-less periods” and I was seriously worried about my health. So, naturally, I was like “If I could take yours, I would.” Because, you know, it’s normal if you don’t have it at 11, but it is seriously concerning if you’re a 19-year old virgin going two months without her period. So, you see, I’ve been at so many points within the spectrum. Well, I’ll try to comment only on the episode from here on and not share my entire medical past. 

“Nice boys never say people eat insects”. I quote that pretty much on a daily basis - every time someone mentions mnemonic devices. It’s hilarious. One of my university professors went out of her way to say those two words as many times as she could one time last year and I could not contain my laughter thinking of this quote, courtesy of Gilbert Blythe.

Anne acts just the way I do on my period - ok, I said no more personal details, but that barely counts. It’s just, Anne is so relatable. But also, when she says “Nothing appeals to me, Marilla” - I know what you need, Anne. You need chocolate. But did they have chocolate like we do?

My, I had forgotten this was when the raspberry cordial incident happens. This should be fun. And then heartbreaking. But it’s kinda fun in the long run, you know.

Wait, is Matthew going to order a puff sleeved dress for Anne? Is this that? I mean, it has to be since he rarely leaves Green Gables unless it’s for something really important. And if this is important to Anne, then you bet it’s also important to Matthew. You gotta love that man.

Of course Anne would be wearing the special ribbon Marilla Gave her. And of course she would invest all of her energy into that tea party. This is beautiful. Too bad one little mistake will have to ruin things...

Matthew is visibly uncomfortable amid the crowd in town, but he’s doing this for Anne and that means he has to do it, even if it’s out of his comfort zone. Even if Marilla might disapprove. The world needs more men like Matthew Cuthbert. 

If Diana’s family had seen the manner in which Anne welcomed her to tea, they might have disregarded her mistake at the end, but alas, they didn’t. It was as classy and sophisticated as could be. The end was an innocent mistake. 

Ok, but how funny would it be if the first bottle Anne picked up was actually the cordial she was looking for? That was kinda like putting down the correct answer on a test, then correcting it to the wrong one. I know I said it’s funny, but now that I put it like this, it’s just as upsetting as it has always seemed to me.

“Will you take me with you, you have to take me”... imagine Anne at finishing school. Just imagine. 

Ah, yes, alcohol brings out the immature side of even the most dignified young ladies. There’s nothing like seeing Diana Barry, the poster girl for classy, shouting “Bosoms!” and giggling with her best friend. Her highly controlled young life finally saw a moment of blissful immaturity. What a pity it will end in tears. 

I see Matthew has finally opened up - and of course he has, he is talking about Anne. He just loves her so much. Ever since I was first introduced to the books, I’ve always thought it’s such a wonderful mistake that Anne ended up with the Cuthberts. It made life better for them as well as for her. 

Little Matthew reminds me a little bit of Cole - quiet and gentle, but, as Jeannie said, knows how to “make himself known”.  And also I love them both with all my heart. 

Oh my, so this is the reason Matthew had to leave school - because Michael passed away? I had forgotten. Well, thanks for breaking my heart a second time. But well, I brought this upon myself by deciding to rewatch the entire series. 

“A dignified affair”... if Marilla could see them now. Well, it’s better off that she can’t yet. Things are going down as it is, just let the fun last a little longer. 

And there we go. It’s like the whole world is falling apart. This is worse than that time in season 3 when Diana’s mother drags her away from the Baynard house. And both times it is just plain tragic because both Anne and the Baynards are beautiful, good people who are nothing but kind and loving to Diana, and yet her mother fails to see that anything else but what she has deemed appropriate for her daughter, can be good. 

If Marilla thinks some pairs of boots are “a frivolous expense”, I can’t imagine how she would react to the dress Matthew ordered for Anne. 

“I will never have another bosom friend” Well, no, you won’t have to, Diana. It might seem like it’s the end of the world now, but it won’t last. Then, of course, there will be that other time of separation, which, like the other parallel I drew regarding Diana’s mother forbidding her to fraternise with someone, has to do with Jerry. I don’t want to think about that one, but, you know - just like this one, that, too, was fixed within the next episode. Also, based on this scene, I totally see why people ship them. I mean, it lowkey reminds me of Rapunzel and Cass in the TTS finale. You should watch that show if you haven’t btw. 

Yes, Anne, life is so unfair, but not to you right now. To Gilbert. He’s losing his father. Forever. You just lost a friend for a little while. But of course, Anne knows neither one of those things. Life really is unfair, isn’t it?

“What wonderful red hair”, “I’ve heard nice things about you.” These must be some of the nicest things an adult who is not Matthew or Marilla has said to Anne in a long while. I wonder how that made her feel. If I were Anne, Gilbert’s father would have just made my day.

“Give my kind regards to Marilla” These words, coming from John Blythe, mean more than Anne and Gilbert can imagine. They mean more to me now that I’m watching this episode for the second time. That is why I love rewatches. 

“Fair and square” Another Shirbert moment that would go on to become iconic. In a way, this whole episode is. 

I see that, for once, Anne is putting her heart into her needlepoint. And not just hers, but, as it seems, Diana’s, too. She’s literally embroidered the words “kindred spirits” between two connected hearts. It’s beautiful. And sad to think that, as far as they know, they can never speak to each other again.

“I’ve come to realise that there are far bigger worries in the world” - is Anne referring to what Gilbert is going through with his father? Probably. I mean, being an orphan and going from one abusive household to another, Anne has probably never really had a relative to worry about. So she likely never even thought about how Gilbert feels taking care of his ill father until she saw it with her own eyes. This is why she won’t know how to properly react when John Blythe is gone. 

So, I was wondering what Jerry’s role in this very much iconic episode would be, and there it is - he will be the one to take the boots back and bring home Anne’s special dress. And return the button to Jeannie, of course. This is definitely a special part. And Jerry delivered - both figuratively and literally in this particular case.

Anne’s face seeing the big box on her bed is priceless. The moment she sees the dress inside - even more so. What is a moment of “frivolous expense” and “vanity” to see her dream come true. And, just like that, the Cuthberts are a happy family.

In this episode, we saw: Shirbert’s first spell-off with Gilbert’s first skipped E; Anne’s first period, commented on with a lot of personal details about mine; a memorable mnemonic device; the development of John Blythe’s illness; a sassy Marilla moment and the reason behind all of Rachel Lynde’s pregnancies; Matthew orders a puff sleeved dress for Anne and is reunited with an old... friend in the process; Anne invites Diana to tea with disastrous results; the (temporary) tragic end of a  beautiful friendship; Anne is older and wiser; Jerry delivers an important package; a happy ending to a tough week for Anne.

[eligrantbooks]

gotta vent about my day real quick

highlights of the day

> be professional ghostwriter.

Agreed to edit a 25000 word segment of a finished manuscript for a much loved regular client, who said the MC’s dialogue needed to be punched up. Easy enough. I figured it would take a few hours.

Was briefly excited to discover the manuscript was for a concept I had outlined and written several chapters for a few months ago.

Excitement rapidly dwindles as I realize that beloved client has hired another ghostwriter to write the majority of the book. Which would be fine, except this other ghostwriter has no fucking idea what they are doing.

Formatting is a god damn disaster and I spend several hours just getting the document into a workable condition.

You ever open a word doc, look at the navigation pane, and just see a wall of blank links, because someone applied the header formatting somewhere and then just hit enter a million times instead of using a page break like a civilized god damn human being?

in the middle of this forest of blank headers, actual chapter titles are scattered at random, and also they only applied the header to roughly one out of every five chapters or so, you know, just, when they felt like it. when the spirit took them. when the stars aligned. when the feng shui was right.

Also, apparently they like the way first line indenting looks but don’t know how to make word do that (spoiler: its easy as shit and takes like two clicks) so every once in a while they start manually hitting tab before every line, until they get distracted and stop for a while, luring you into a false sense of security before they remember and start doing it again.

Sometimes, when a scene transitions but they dont want to just end the chapter for some reason, they break it up with spaces. Other times, they like to use asterisks. Once or twice, just for flavor, they throw in one of those page width lines that word makes when you type a line of hyphens.

There is random highlighting in places, for no discernible reason.

Once I have the document formatted in a way I can bear to work with, I start actually reading through it. About the first seven chapters were written by the client. They’re cheesy but solid.

Then I get to chapter eight, and the suspicions i had begun to form while putting the formatting through traction (namely that whoever did this was a fuckwit) quickly crystallized into a shining certainty that my beloved client had mistakenly hired An Ass Clown.

Not just An Ass Clown, but An Ass Clown who thought 50 Shades was a beautiful love story, actually.

And they gave This Ass Clown, this literary reprobate, this paste eating remedial english mother fucker, my outline.

let me clarify that i did not expect to have sole control of this story when i produced the outline for beloved client, and I was okay with that. That’s how it works. If I’d been dead set on writing this myself, i wouldn’t have sold the outilne to beloved client. but it really rubs salt in the wound to have spent hours of my life crafting the bones of this story, which i really liked and was excited to see take shape

and then find out it has been put into the pie fondling hands

of An Ass Clown.

first hint that something has gone drastically wrong: the arrival of completely unnecessary and ridiculous fantasy names for things.

“oh we dont drink coffee in this book. it’s kofee. at least until three chapters from now when i forget and it becomes kofe. Oh, and watch out for those thornaby bushes! I’m going to misspell that one literally every time I use it! It’s entirely possible that this isn’t a fantasy name at all and I just have a small seizure whenever I try to type the word thorn bush!”

second omen of my impending anuerism: phonetically written accents which are so comically stereotypical and inaccurate that native speakers of that accent should be entitled to financial compensation, except they can’t even stick to the stereotype accurately, producing gems such as  “It’s not safe in that there pen with ‘em swine, young miss.” I don’t even know what accent that’s supposed to represent. To top it off these accent abominations are sprinkled in with all the consistency and reliability of a lactose intolerant cheese enthusiast’s bowel movements.

But this, I tell myself, moving on, is not my problem. I just need to punch up the mcs dialogue. It’ll be fine. I can do this. I just need to take this shit: “A fond idea, but I doubt I have that ability.” I joked. “I can’t imagine living without true sunshine. Even the triplet moons must shine less brightly without their sister sun.” and make it… not like that.

Except, and here’s where I start hitting the real roadblock guys

this book is in first person.

essentially, the entire novel is the MC talking.

So sure I can change the spoken lines, but her internal monologue

which is, i remind you, the entire narrative

her internal monologue is going to keep being maggie gyllenhal’s character from The Secretary if her copy of the script had been swapped with just a binder full of sonnets written by a middle school english class during the Shakespeare unit.

I get to chapter ten around three in the afternoon. I have been working steadily, with an unusual degree of focus thanks to my recent adderal prescription, since ten in the morning.

this is where shit begins to go truly bananas.

this is a YA beauty and the beast type fantasy

that good fun indulgent shit that’s almost as enjoyable to write as it is to read

usually. previously. before i had to endure this traumatic twelve hour experience.

Chapter ten is the first big “dinner” scene. this book isn’t being shy about pulling from the source material, but that’s fine. the beast “apologizes” (heavy quotes there) for having earlier used magic to force the heroine to answer his questions truthfully. They talk and almost seem to making progress for a bit, and then have a fight and storm off. Standard stuff.

Except, uh, the beast’s apology is, essentially “Yeah I shouldn’t have done that.” “so you’re apologizing?” “no but it’s the best you’re going to get so deal with it.”

and the headstrong, independent heroine who wears pants and wrestles pigs and dont need no man

just kinda rolls with this. There’s giggling.

They have their big dramatic fight, exit stage left, much angst and todo.

The next morning heroine wakes up to find the beast has (presumably) snuck into her room while she was sleeping and dumped a bunch of new dresses on her. he has also (apparently) replaced her brain with Bella Swan’s more vapid cousin.

She forgives him instantly. Because pretty dresses. She also starts calling him master, because why not. She has, over night, become the darling submissive Tumblr doms dream of.

This is not a bdsm book. I am eighty percent certain it doesn’t even include soft core smut. I’m telling you this so that you understand this transformation was not a contrivance in order to facilitate kinky sex. I have written a contrived set up to a sex scene or two in my day. This is not that. This is Not what is in the outline. I know, because i wrote the outline. It is My Outline.

No, The Ass Clown just… decided to do this. Apropos of nothing. I’m beginning to think the Ass Clown’s decision making process involves whipping pies at a comically large dartboard. And all the options on the dartboard are just “lol whatever”

By the time I get to chapter eleven, wherein our newly lobotomized heroine is “excited to wear a new frock and please the master!” - direct quote I have given up any pretense of editing dialogue and I am just straight up rewriting shit using the previous garbage as a loose outline.

I have eaten, maybe, three bites of a bowl of oatmeal all day. I have not taken a bathroom break since before noon. I have missed my deadline. Beloved client is concerned. I’m sure I can still do this, I just need a few more hours.

the words sound like truth but my soul knows i am a liar

I frantically restructure scene after scene, deceiving myself each time that it will be the last, and I will be able to get this crazy train back on the rails. But this crazy train has no interest in being on the rails. It’s a direct line no stops right off the edge of the cliffs of insanity.

The beast jumps unpredictably from homicidal rage and threats of violence to jokes and flirting as though he did not just declare her his property and threaten to rip her tongue out a few paragraphs ago. Heroine swoons and sighs and giggles regardless of whether she is dealing with Dr.Jekyll or Christian Gray on PCP.

But I’m still sure I can do this. I’ll just adjust these two full chapters to make her appropriately scared and angry, and then replace this weird conversation here with a heartfelt apology from him and an effort to do better. That will totally work. Unless, you know, it turns out that conversation I want to replace only starts out with them joking and laughing together, and turns into him berating and abusing her mid paragraph of a fuckin montage a page later! But, haha! Why would The Ass Clown ever do that? It would be completely irrational, tonally jarring and out of character! Only a seltzer slinging rainbow suspender-ed peanut butter fumbling son of six fucks would do that.

so of course The Ass Clown did that.

It’s eleven at night. I know when I’m beaten.

I inform beloved client that the Ass Clown has bested me and I can do no more.

She is very understanding.

I send her what I managed and I check the added word count while im at it

i added a full 6,000 words to that manuscript just trying to patch up this sloppy motherfucker’s lopsided prose and gossamer thin understanding of narrative structure

son of a bitch had about as firm a grasp of romance as i currently have on the trembling shreds of my sanity.

their grip on character writing could not be more tenuous if they had first dipped the target brand Hulk Hands which I assume they always have on their person into a barrel of adult-film-grade silicon lubricant and then taken their Leapfrog 2-in-1 Leaptop Touch down a waterslide.

Do you know how much I usually make for 6000 words?

$180.

Do you know how much I made for enduring this ass blasting, which I naively believed I could tackle in a matter of hours?

$100.

You owe me $80 Ass Clown. And I aim to collect.

Also I lost my damn mind for a minute and said the words "i dont know shit about fuck my guy” to my actual father on facebook

so there’s that.

[worlds1stghost]

Bridge Over Troubled Ed

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30385248

The repeated tapping of Eddy’s shoe against the sidewalk created a tuneless, inconsistent rhythm that threatened to make Edd’s head burst. With one hand over his ear in a hopeless attempt to block out the noise, he lifted the other to check his watch. It was approaching five minutes since he rang Ed’s doorbell, yet there was still no response. Edd could only grumble to himself about the vices of tardiness as he took a seat on the cooler he placed on the front lawn. He could tolerate this flagrant disregard for punctuality if it wasn’t combined with the incessant slapping of rubber on pavement. A nerve on the side of his head throbbed in alternating rhythm with Eddy’s shoe. The desire to scream swelled like a balloon inside of his throat, waiting to explode in Eddy’s face in a singular cathartic burst.

However, years of self-imposed civility curbed that urge and he spoke up, albeit in a strained voice: “Eddy, would you kindly stop that, please?” Much to his relief, Eddy obliged. He placed his hand down to his side and took a deep breath, savoring the silence. “Thank you.”

Eddy lifted his sunglasses to his forehead so Edd could see him roll his eyes. It also didn’t help that the shadow covering the house’s front lawn made it too dark to see with them on. “What’s taking him? We’re gonna waste the whole day if we wait any longer!”

Edd refrained from mentioning the irony of his friend’s impatience. Despite Eddy being the organizer of this get-together and even giving specific times for them to meet up, he was dead asleep and had to be physically dragged out of bed when Edd arrived at his house.

“You needn’t worry so much. As I assume you’ve noticed by the position of the surrounding shadow, the sun has only just begun its journey across the sky.” Edd paused, and then giggled. “You see what I did there, right? I spoke as if it’s the sun that is orbiting the earth. In reality, it’s merely our perspective that creates that illusion when it’s, in fact, the inverse that’s true.”

A pause reserved for an anticipated laugh stretched out for several awkward seconds; Eddy only grimaced throughout. “You’re a real riot, Double D.”

Edd cleared his throat, acting as if he hadn’t heard Eddy’s jab. “In any case, there’s no need to be so impatient. We still have plenty of daylight for a fulfilling, enjoyable time at the swimming hole.”

“Not with how long you’re running your mouth, we won’t.”

The sunglasses slid back over Eddy’s eyes as he plopped down beside Edd and the cooler. Why shouldn’t he be impatient to start the day? According to Edd’s meteorological calculations, today was supposed to be the hottest day of the year before summer started. With the end of the school year approaching, the normally crowded swimming hole would be void of rowdy beachgoers as they all scrambled to finish any last-minute schoolwork. Eager to partake in this chance to beat the summer rush, Eddy had announced to the other Eds that they’d spend the whole day at the creek to celebrate their upcoming graduation from high school. They would end the year in style, he told them, enjoying one last hurrah before the three of them graduated and moved on to bigger scams beyond the cul-de-sac.

Another two minutes dragged on in agonizing pace, yet there was no sign of Ed. Eddy’s towel and sunscreen tumbled out onto the grass after he had kicked his bag in frustration. He didn’t get woken up this early in the morning just to have that big lug shift him like this. This was one of the few plans he made that wasn’t motivated by self-gain and he’d sooner bust down the door himself than see his rare act of charity fall through. Storming past Edd and nearly knocking him over, he approached the door with his clenched fist raised over his head. Right before he could land a punch, the door swung open and the two boys were greeted by Ed’s infectious smile.

“Ready for liftoff!” Ed trundled out the door. An umbrella, a large bag, and several folding chairs were all slung underneath his arms.

The sight of the larger boy morphed Eddy’s scowl into a million-dollar grin. “Thatta boy, Lumpy! Geared up like a regular pack mule.” He stretched out his arms to grab his friends, bringing them in close. “Now let’s get this show on the road! We’re gonna be set like kings, baby! The entire swimming hole just for the three of us!”

“Hahah!” Ed’s wide grin stretched across his face, but soon flattened into a pensive grimace. He raised his hand and counted on his fingers, all while his features twisted in intense thought. “One, two, three, umm… boy Eddy you are pretty bad at counting.”

Eddy gripped the back of Ed’s neck and yanked him down to eye level. “Get your ears checked, lunk head. I said three. Did you forget how to count or something?”

Ed’s gaze shifted to the side to avoid eye contact with Eddy. “I see three, yes siree. But what I mean is that which is not seen.” Ed grabbed the back of Eddy’s shirt collar and effortlessly lifted him from the ground. He turned the smaller boy around so he was facing the front of the house. “Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!”

“Pardon me, Ed,” Edd interjected. His lips curled into a smile bordering on hopeful excitement. “But was that Shelley you just quoted? I never would’ve guessed you had such a poetic side.”

Taking a moment to comprehend his friend’s words, Ed shook his head and laughed. “Nah, I read that in Mutant Horrors Issue #5, where the evil mummy leads the helpless damsel to his tomb before sucking her brains right out of her nose!” Sticking two fingers into his nostrils, he stretched them open as wide as he could to demonstrate, all while the optimism drained from Edd’s face.

Before Eddy could yell at Ed to stop messing around and put him back down, a figure cloaked in a wide shadow stepped onto the porch. Sarah nudged up the brim of her floppy sun hat to get a better view of the boys. Edd was dancing frantically to avoid the spray of boogers being unleashed from the depths of Ed’s now impossibly enlarged nostrils. Ed chortled all the while, oblivious to both his friend’s distress and the thrashing boy lodged under his arm. Eddy’s flailing attempts to free himself from his noxious, swampy stranglehold proved useless as his arms bounced harmlessly off his captor’s torso. Sarah regarded these shenanigans with no change of expression, as if she had seen this exact scene play out before her multiple times.

Eddy twisted himself around in Ed’s grip so he might face Sarah in a slightly less undignified position. A beach bag dangled from her shoulder, heavy with towels and plastic beach toys. “What’s all that for, huh?” he said with a sneer. “You bringing Mono-brow the rest of his stuff for our trip?” The word ‘our’ was emphasized as a means to exclude her from the sentence.

“What are you talking about?” Sarah tugged at the sagging collar of her oversized t-shirt to keep it from slipping off her shoulders. Anyone could tell that it was Ed’s based on the faded alien graphic on the front, which meant it had to be sanitized thrice-over before she got anywhere close to it. “These are my things, bozo.”

“Why the heck would you be all dressed up like that for?” The smug timbre of his voice faltered in his throat. His brain was making the connection, but he refused to acknowledge it.

“What? Didn’t Ed tell you?” She grinned, relishing in knocking Eddy off his composure. If he insisted on playing dumb, she’d gladly spell things out for him. “I’m coming to the swimming hole with you guys.”

“What!?” Eddy wrenched his body back around and grabbed Ed by the shirt collar, shaking him hard enough for his head to jerk back and forth. “What’s the matter with you!? I thought I told you no plus-ones!”

Ed bit his trembling lower lip, looking at Eddy like a scolded puppy. “It’s not my fault, Eddy! Honest! I told my mom what we were doing today and she said…” He cleared his throat and stiffened his posture before continuing in a higher, throatier register: “Edward if you are going out, you must take your sister with you!”

“Parents!” Eddy spat the word out as if it was burning the inside of his mouth. “Always wrecking everything! I can’t believe they’re still making you babysit her!”

“Tell me about it!” Sarah spoke up, her mouth curling into an indignant scowl. “I should be able to stay home alone. I’m not a kid anymore!”

The urge to laugh rose in Eddy’s throat before he stamped it out. Sarah might be going to the same high school as they were now, but that wasn’t enough for him to view her as anything more than Ed’s “baby” sister. Before he could contradict her statement, his eyes twinkled with a devious glint as an idea crossed his mind. “Couldn’t have said it better myself, squirt. You’re all grown up now, so maybe you should just let Big Ed hang with us while you have the place all to yourself. What your mom don’t know won’t hurt her, right?”

“Is that so?” Sarah’s grin returned, wider than before. “Well, then maybe I will stay. But that still means Ed has to be here with me! Rules are rules, Eddy. Where I go, he goes!”

Eddy gritted his teeth. “Why you little…” His insult went unfinished as he plummeted to the ground alongside the rest of the beach supplies. He shoved a towel away from his face while Ed threw himself at Sarah’s feet, hands folded together and wobbling in desperation.

“Oh please oh please baby sister, don’t do that!” the larger boy blubbered.

“Now now,” Edd spoke as he stepped in between the feuding parties. “I’m sure we can all reach an amicable understanding here. Eddy, surely you can respect the fact that Ed is merely fulfilling his obligation as both a loyal son and a responsible older brother. Besides, I see no reason why Sarah’s presence should spoil our little excursion. The more the merrier, as they say.”

These words, well-intentioned as they were, rang hollow in Eddy’s ears. Edd was only playing peacemaker because he was an only child; he didn’t know what pains siblings could be. There was one reason Eddy could name for why Sarah shouldn’t come, but it was the only one he needed: bringing along another person defeated the whole point of the trip. It would just be another routine visit to the creek, not the special pre-graduation celebration he had been envisioning. Why not invite the whole cul-de-sac if it wasn’t going to be the three of them anymore? Eddy’s narrowed eyes bounced between Edd’s pacifying smile, Ed’s quivering lips, and Sarah’s taunting smirk. The sun had changed places over the course of this argument, causing the shadows outlining their respective features to skew at different angles. He turned up to the sky to confirm this, his frown deepening. How long had they been standing here, and how much more of the day did they have left?

“Alright, fine!” Eddy relented, throwing his arms in the air for dramatic effect. The more time spent arguing was more time wasted, so it was best to just give in at this point. “Let’s get a move on. I don’t want anyone slowing us down, okay?”

Rejuvenated glee lit up Ed’s face. Springing up from the dirt and scooping up all the beach supplies, he charged ahead of the group in a manic sprint down the sidewalk. “Onward to victory!”

“Ah, careful Ed!” Edd exclaimed, scurrying after him. “Take care not to drop any of our essentials!”

With only Eddy and Sarah standing side by side on the lawn, Eddy shot a parting leer at her before trudging after his friends. Sarah sauntered close behind, her springy footsteps doing nothing to conceal her newfound sense of triumph. Getting a rise out of him took no effort on her part, but it was enough to make her giggle whenever his face flushed red with anger. This trip to the creek promised to hold many opportunities to get under his skin, which was why she was eager to tag along. If Eddy expected today to be a day of fun, he wouldn’t be counting on her idea of fun to be at his expense.

The balmy summer sun cast a shimmering ripple across the cloudless expanse of sky. Its position overhead had changed very little by the time the group had made it to the creek. As they neared the yellow sands of the lakebed, Eddy bounded ahead toward the shady spot near the cliff. With a beach umbrella held over his head, he speared it into the sand and twisted it with glee. The prime spot was all his and no other kids were around to fight him for it.

“Bingo!” Eddy said with a satisfied chuckle as he unrolled his towel. The others soon joined him and set up their respective places in the shade as well.

“Well it does appear that my calculations were accurate.” Edd made no attempt to hide the pride in his voice as he watched the spangles of light skipping across the water’s surface. “It certainly is a scorcher today.”

“Yeah it is. Let’s hope you don’t burn up this time,” Eddy said through his snickering.

Edd’s brow flattened. “Ha ha, very amusing, Eddy. Fortunately, I have taken extensive precautions to ensure that that mishap would not repeat itself today.” Digging into his bag, he pulled out a bottle of sunscreen and held it triumphantly before screwing off the cap and squeezing it onto his arm. “Aaah, the cool, soothing touch of SPF 50. Let it be known that any ultraviolet radiation attempting to savage my epidermis will have its attempts thwarted by this impenetrable, topical shield!”

Eddy shook his head, unimpressed by the sunscreen’s supposed glory. “Jeez, don’t be so dramatic, Sockhead.”

“Toss that over here, Double D,” Sarah called out.

Edd handed her the bottle and she squeezed a generous glob of the goop into her hand before slapping it onto her face and body. She had since slipped out of her borrowed t-shirt and was now wearing a pink two-piece swimsuit. Even in the shade, her skin glowed with a bright, natural warmness that dazzled Eddy’s eyes. He had never seen so much of her exposed skin before; she used to always wear a one piece back when they were kids. The change in apparel helped accentuate her slender frame and the minute curves of her chest and waist. Those had taken five years to develop, but they might as well have all sprouted overnight as far as he was concerned. After having caught himself staring for a few seconds too long, he swung his head in the other direction, scowling at his lapse of focus. She clearly wasn’t Ed’s “baby” sister anymore, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t the same brat she always was.

“Don’t forget to reapply at regular intervals, especially if you’re planning on entering the water,” Edd’s helpful voice chimed. If he had been watching Eddy at all, it wasn’t evident in his tone.

“Maybe later,” Sarah said as she rubbed the last of the lotion on her face. “I’m going to be building sandcastles.”

“Sandcastles?” Eddy made a squawking laugh. “What are you, ten years old?”

“If you hate ‘em so much, that’s good news for me.” Sarah picked up a pail and shovel before marching toward the water’s edge. “It’ll be the best place to get away from you.”

A smirk cracked across Eddy’s face. If Sarah truly meant what she said, he could pretend she wasn’t even here. It was doubly better that he wouldn’t have to worry about her body either. “Perfect. So what do you want to do first, Double–” He paused once he saw the skinnier boy bring a pen and notepad out of his bag. “What the heck are those for?”

“I was hoping to use this opportunity to get better acquainted with the wildlife inhabiting our humble creek,” Edd explained. “Since there are no unruly swimmers to disturb them, it’s an excellent chance to observe these creatures in their natural state. Why, I’m positive there’s an extensive assortment of lichen making their home on those rocks over yonder that are just waiting to be catalog–”

“You’re jokin’, right? School’s almost over, Double D! Don’t bring the classroom out here when we’re supposed to be having fun!”

“On the contrary, Eddy, I find this to be an enjoyable, and might I add quite productive, use of my leisure time. Of course, you are welcome to join me if you change your mind.”

Eddy’s eyes smoldered as Edd strolled off towards the craggy rocks on the opposite side of the lake. “Fine! Go write a novel for all I care! Ed and I are going to have a day for the record books, all without you! Ain’t that right, Mono-brow?”

But Ed was running off towards the water and laughing all the way before Eddy had even finished asking his question. Ed was, as usual, living within his own world. Eddy wasn’t even a factor in whatever plans he had for the afternoon.

“Prepare yourselves, creatures of the deep!” Ed bellowed. “For I, Ed, have come to plunder your fishy kingdom!”

With a mighty jump, Ed soared through the air and hurtled towards the lake. A towering jet of water erupted from his point of impact, casting a shimmering shadow along the shoreline and steadily growing until it nearly reached the top of the nearby cliff. It soon dissipated into a sparkling shower that rained on the lake like a miniature monsoon. Eddy waited in annoyed silence to see how long it would take Ed to resurface, but gave up after a minute had passed. If he was going to ditch him too, he could stay down there for all Eddy cared. The whole reason for this trip was for them to hang out together, but both of his friends would rather be with the fish than with him. Grumbling to himself, he put on his sunglasses and fell back on his towel. The underlying sand cooled his back, relaxing his knotted muscles while he racked his brain for ideas on how to make the most of his time. It was still a nice day, all things considered. It shouldn’t be gone to waste just because he was by himself.

“Well, well, look at who got left behind!”

The mocking voice burned Eddy’s ears. He rose himself to his haunches, glaring at Sarah from behind his glasses. Water sloshed over the rim of the pail swaying in her hand. Eddy chose to focus his eyes on that hand, rather than the one languidly resting on her hip.

“Alone? No way! I’m just working on my tan, is all.”

“In the shade?” She let loose a giggle that deepened Eddy’s frown. “Why don’t you stop moping and come help me build sandcastles?”

“In your dreams! I’d rather stay here.”

“What’s the matter?” Sarah sneered before resuming in a gruff, bumbling imitation of Eddy’s voice. “Don’t want to look like a baby?”

“Hey! I said ten years old, not a baby!”

“Well you sure cry like one.”

A hot flush consumed Eddy’s face as his jaw clanged shut, his teeth rattling together. Even after five years, her words could still dig under his skin. Now on his feet, he stomped over to Sarah with his fists trembling at his sides. “You’re such a pain! Why’d you have to tag along and stick your big mouth in our business? This trip was supposed to be just the three of us!” The jab about her mouth made Sarah’s eyelid twitch. “Why are you still such a jerk, huh? You need to grow up!” Her back stiffened, straightening her posture as much as she could to match his height. It was only a two inch difference between them, but she was determined to make it appear non-existent.

“Yeah?” Plucking off his sunglasses, he slouched slightly to meet her fuming eyes. “You first.”

The space between their foreheads grew dangerously smaller. The two of them pinned each other in place with their eyes, silently goading the other into making the first move. A drizzle of sweat slid past Eddy’ nose and his lip grew sore from his fervent nibbling. A long time ago, he would bellow some insult or otherwise throw a few punches if it meant getting her out of his face. His dry throat refused to muster any words and his shaking arms remained glued to his sides. Sarah was similarly frozen, even though she wasn’t one to stop herself from biting and clawing anyone she felt had wronged her. No longer were they the angry kids ready to tear out each others’ throats. They were teenagers now, a little calmer but no less stubborn. Violence wasn’t an effective means of solving their disputes anymore.

Shielded from the sweltering rays of the sun, Eddy’s cool head had time to weigh his options in this stalemate. This day was supposed to be one for the record books and he was on course for sulking it all away. Sarah had offered him a means to salvage it. Rejecting her meant either stewing in solitude or indulging the other Eds with schoolwork or underwater shenanigans. Of all his options, building sandcastles promised to be the least obnoxious use of his time. It didn’t hurt that she wasn’t so bad to look at, either. For the moment, his glare remained fixated on her expectant eyes, not willing to risk getting distracted by the rest of her body during his surrender.

“All right look!” Eddy leaned back and groaned. The remaining shreds of his pride clumped up in the back of his throat and slithered down like a stone. “Those two feebs aren’t coming back any time soon, so we’re both stuck with each other. All’s I want is to try to make the best of this stupid trip.” His voice lowered to a grumble while he let his next words spill onto his chest. “So I’m sorry, okay?”

Sarah’s expression softened once it became clear she had come out on top of this exchange. Wrenching an apology from Eddy was no easy feat, even one as half-hearted and mush-mouthed as this. As cute as he looked earlier with his face bright red and his teeth gnashing together, she found the grimace weighing down his cheeks to be a more endearing expression for him. “Sounds good to me,” she said, embellished sweetness dribbling from her voice. “I’m about to set up our work site, so grab a pail and follow my lead.”

With leaden feet, Eddy shuffled behind Sarah, who skipped ahead and dug up a shallow bowl in the sand to contain the water from her pail. Beside her beach bag laid a spare yellow pail, which Eddy snatched up while she readied their supply of wet, pliable sand. Eddy sat at the opposite end of the hole and plunged his hand into it, grimacing as wet granules stuck to his skin.

Scooping up large handfuls of slurry at a time, he shoveled them into the pail without much thought. The crumbly, uneven lumps weren’t packed tightly enough and would create a castle that would disintegrate the moment he upturned the pail, but he didn’t care about any of that. Every time he tried focusing on his work, an unknown force would pull his attention back to Sarah. She had grown quite a lot in five years, only superficially resembling the runty terror that would menace him and his friends on a daily basis. Although he had poked fun at the size of her mouth earlier, it wasn’t noticeably disproportionate to the rest of her face anymore. Time had allowed all of her parts to fit together quite nicely and, Eddy had to admit, attractively. His cheeks were ablaze, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the blood rushing to them or because he didn’t use any of Edd’s sunscreen.

It wasn’t long before Sarah caught him staring. There was a peculiar, hazy gloss in his eyes as they roamed her body like a hungry dog. He had made that expression before, back when they were kids, but she couldn’t recall from where. As tempting as it was to let him enjoy the view a little longer, she had to keep up appearances. With a sneer, she folded her arms over her chest and purposefully twisted her body away from his line of sight. “What are you staring at, weirdo?”

“Staring, nothing!” Eddy turned his head and rubbed his fist against his eye. “The stupid sand got in my eye, is all. Probably from you digging so much of it up.”

“Yeah right. Maybe you should focus more on your castle instead of what I’m doing.”

Eddy’s “castle” more closely resembled one that had been besieged and reduced to rubble. Using his hands as like a pair of shovels, he pushed the mass together in a feeble attempt to mold it into an acceptable shape. He kept the act up until she returned her attention back to her own work. They each toiled in silence, neither one willing to risk another awkward encounter. The only thing filling the space between them for the next several minutes was the arid pre-summer air pressing down from above. Any word that might have been spoken would’ve been stifled upon contact with the sizzling heat.

With Sarah’s own castle completed, immaculately molded without any fissures or lumps, her eyes wandered back to Eddy. His attention was entrapped by his own castle. With each passing second, the sun was sapping more moisture out of the sand he was using, making his bumbling attempts at molding it even more ineffective. A scathing jab at his intelligence and abilities formed itself on Sarah’s tongue, but it dissolved before she could throw it his way. It was more agreeable to sample some of his natural assets the way he had been poring over hers not long ago. High school had given him the long awaited wish of a growth spurt to rival the other kids in height. Several of them still had him beat by a couple of inches, but he was no longer the pint-sized pariah of the cul-de-sac. Physically, he was developing into a well-formed young man, ignoring the few stubborn remnants of baby fat still sticking to him. Why exactly did she find an oaf like him so handsome? He wasn’t the smartest or the strongest kid in the cul-de-sac, and certainly not the nicest. But he was a lot like her in ways she was embarrassed to admit. He was someone who knew what they wanted out of life, and smarts didn’t matter when he had plenty of charisma and resources to burn through until he got what he was after. Much like how she used brute force and intimidation to get her way, Eddy’s approach differed in execution but was similarly strong-willed and tenacious. If it was somewhat narcissistic of her to be attracted to him just because he reminded her of herself, she’d just have to deal with that.

Loose sand streamed through the gaps of Eddy’s cupped hands before he slammed them down on his ruined castle in defeat. After the cloud of dust settled, he caught Sarah’s distracted gaze locked onto his body. There was a longing gleam in her eyes and Eddy smirked. “See something you like?” The muscles in his bicep twitched as he made a subtle flex of his arm.

Sarah’s lips pursed once she was caught, but her eyes didn’t leave Eddy’s body for a second. Flashing a grin as a shield of assuredness, she leaned closer, scuttling across the sand so that her vision was filled with nothing but Eddy. “Nope! I don’t see anything at all.”

“Man, you’re such a little pest.” Webs of sweat criss-crossed down his brow and traced along his eyelids. She was getting uncomfortably close to him now, but he anchored himself to his spot.

“Oh really? What are you gonna do about it?” Her smirk was defiant. Sultry. She was egging him on to make a move. It was what she had been doing for the whole trip and he was just too oblivious to notice.

That glazed stare had returned to Eddy’s eyes. This time, Sarah recognized where she had last seen it: he looked like that whenever he was looking at Nazz. She forced her face to remain composed despite the heat roiling in her cheeks. Not once had she ever considered herself to be on Nazz’s level, but the way Eddy’s eyes pored over her from top to bottom did plenty to convince her otherwise.

“I’m gonna…” Eddy pushed himself forward and pressed his lips to hers. They were soft, holding a sort of plumpness that shouldn’t belong on a mouth capable of unleashing such rage. He pulled away, half-expecting her to bite his face off, but she chased after his lips and caught them.

No words were exchanged, not with their lips locked together. Eddy’s body continued pushing forward and he was on top of her. Sarah sunk into the sand, her arms coiling around him to keep herself steady. Her fingers curled into his skin, taking hold and pulling him down closer to her. She was determined to not be passive in this exchange, but Eddy didn’t seem to mind. Skin on burning skin, heated by the torrid sun, rubbed together in movements only fueled by hormones and long-ignored desires. They remained like this for what felt like hours before the kiss broke apart with an eruption of gasps and weak coughs. Even though neither of them had stepped foot in the water all day, the dampness coating their bodies was hard to ignore.

“Eddy…” Sarah’s petite breasts pushed up against his chest every time she inhaled. Static engulfed her mind, preventing her from finishing her sentence.

Eddy wanted to respond, but his heavy breaths smothered any word he tried to force out. All he could think about was, after years of being menaced by the Kankers, how nice it felt to finally kiss a girl by his own volition for once.

A shadow draped over them, causing them to disengage and turn toward the source. Edd stood to the side, slack-jawed and his paper and pen fluttering in his shaky hands. Even though his sunscreen protected him from being burnt, it didn’t stop his face from flushing a fire engine red. Eddy jumped off of Sarah, dusting off his moist chest as if nothing had happened. Sarah sat up, twisting her arms in front of her chest self-consciously.

“P-pardon me, I promise you that it wasn’t my intention to intrude. But, um…” Edd wiped away the sweat currently streaming down his forehead. His trembling knees were audibly rattling as he, Eddy, and Sarah remained fixed in this awkward staring match. For the first time in his life, the normally verbose boy was at a loss for words.

“Get on with it, Double D!” Sarah finally yelled.

“O-oh, yes!” Edd tugged at his shirt collar as he cleared his throat. “Well, uh, I thought I’d just inform you that it’s getting rather late. Um… wouldn’t you agree?”

Eddy and Sarah turned toward the sky, which was in the process of changing from red to a deep purple. How long they had spent kissing, neither of them could say.

“Guess you’re right,” Eddy sighed. “Let’s head back.”

“Just a moment. Have either of you seen Ed anywhere?”

Loud, soggy squishes slammed into the sand as Ed tromped toward the group, his body pruned and soaking wet. His hands were raised triumphantly over his head, a large sheet of gristly green film held between them. “Look guys! Pudding skins from the depths!” He brought it to his mouth and took a large bite, chewing happily.

Edd examined Ed’s new prize with scrutiny for a few moments before the recognition nearly knocked him backwards. “Ed! You’re eating a biofilm of algae! That’s utterly insalubrious!”

Ed continued to chew and push the algae along the inside of his mouth. He mulled over Edd’s reaction while trying to discern the flavor. His lips peeled back in a toothy grin, green globs of fuzz lodged in the gaps in between his teeth and gums, as he extended the sopping wet sheet over to Edd. “Want some, Double D?”

Edd’s face went as green as the algae and he placed a hand over his mouth to suppress his retch. “Good lord… Would someone please make him stop before my stomach has a chance to expel all of its contents!?”

Sarah shook her head disapprovingly. “Jeepers, Ed, can you get rid of that thing? It might get you sick or something.”

“Okay, baby sister.” Ed chucked the algae sheet, sending it soaring in a high arc before it landed on the lake with a soggy smack. It floated on the water’s surface for a few moments before being sucked back to where it came from. “All gone!”

Under the cloak of approaching night, the group gathered up their things and set off for the cul-de-sac. As the sun faded from view and the sky darkened into a deep indigo, Sarah offered her hand. Eddy took it with no hesitation, her skin offering protective warmth from the evening chill.

“Eddy and Sarah are holding hands!” Ed’s barely contained excitement caused his whole body to hop with every step. “They will get married and Eddy will be my new brother, just like how I always dreamed!”

“Shut up, Ed!” the two of them shouted. They turned to each other and pulled their hands apart, disgust twisting up both their faces.

Ed continued to chortle as he lumbered ahead of the group. Edd followed close behind, shooting a brief, congratulatory smile at the couple before jogging after Ed. Once the two were a good distance behind, their hands clasped together again. In a way, Eddy’s prediction came true. It was a day worthy of the record books.

[miachanelparker]

Title: Baby Carter Update!  Involved: Mia Carter and Tyler Carter  Posted: Monday, March 23rd,  2020 Subscribers: 1,201 Views: 215 Likes: 10 Dislikes: 6 Video #: 2 Description Box: 

I’m back with a update on Baby Carter and some very helpful tips and tricks for getting through your first trimester. I got you girl! 

Watch: https://miachanelparker.tumblr.com/post/611602148480942080/title-intro-to-baby-carter-and-mommy-mcvlogs

Instagram: @mrscarter_ Twitter: @mrscarter_  Facebook: Mia Carter  Snapchat: @mrscarter_ (new user)

Products Mentioned: 

B6 Vitamins: https://www.amazon.com/Natures-Bounty-Supplement-Supports-Metabolism

Smoothie Ingredients: 

Banana Peanut Butter Whey Protein Cacao Almond Milk Honey 1/4 cup Greek Yogurt 

Boutique Location: Maison Jolie @ 003 Westheimer Rd b, Houston, TX 77027

[ Friday, March 20th, 2020 ]

Mia stood in their guest bedroom as she held up the light camera, flipping the screen up to be able to watch herself properly. “Hey guys, it is” she breathed stopping as she picked her up phone and checked the date “it’s March 20th” she told them “a Friday and it’s 11:20 am” she announced “and we are currently in the new set up my husband designed for me” she said with a giggle. “He just up and surprised me with all of this” she said looking around the room showing them a bit of the behind the scenes of her sit down set up. “I am so very grateful; you guys have no idea” she stressed as she walked out of the room her long hair swinging behind her. “I was shocked too” she added a she moved towards their kitchen “he got everything for it, set it up, he even got me this camera” she said looking at them “which is very light, very clear” she emphasized. “Well what do you guys think?” she asked them “I think it’s pretty freakin�� clear” she told him. “I love it, it’s small and sleek. And it fits right in the majority of my purses, which is a bonus because I can incorporate more vlogs outside of the house now too, without the hassle” she breathed.

Mia grabbed her baby pink and gold glass bottle unscrewing it’s top, she placed it against the fridge door filling it with cold water for her to drink while she worked today. “So, I am going to take you guys in there, show you an overview of it” she told him as she thought about it. “I have pregnancy brain” she said shaking her head a little. “I am going to show you guys the room, oh!” she said as she pulled the bottle away. “I want to give you guys an update on the baby, show you some new products that I think has helped me during my first trimester” she told them “they aren’t too new, but I think they will help some of you other first time mother’s” she said as she moved back towards the room. Mia closed the door behind her and set the camera up making sure she connected it to the large monitor they had now, before she sat down guzzling down the water thirstily.

Mia stopped to catch her breath and she sat the bottle down screwing its top back on it before she grabbed her phone and said “so as of right now I am exactly 10 weeks” she said as she looked at the app that was on her phone. Mia picked up her phone and showed the little imagery from the app “it says I am 10 weeks” she said looking at herself in the monitor. “It tells me baby Carter is 1 inch and weighs 0.25 ounces” she said with a smirk “that’s crazy” she chuckled her other hand resting on her knee. “Baby is the size of a fig” she also added before she lowered the phone closing it and sitting it aside. “I don’t have any cravings right now, but I no longer like the smell of broccoli, which is weird. Because I used to love it but now it’s a major turn off” she told the camera with a headshake.

“So, for a personal update” she said clasping her hands together gently “I will say truthfully my biggest trial during this first trimester has been conquering my morning sickness” she told them. “I am technically 3 months pregnant” she told them “I will be entering my second trimester shortly and I hear about how much easier it gets for women when they do” she chuckled. “So, we will see” she told them, giving the camera a knowing look. “But my husband and I found some awesome stuff that I feel really helped with my morning sickness” she told them. “We had a doctor’s appointment to check in on our pumpkin” she said as she reached down beside herself picking up the items she wanted to discuss. “We had some concerns” she told them “nothing bad” she added before she said “mine were my morning sickness definitely, I wanted to know if my doctor had any recommendations for me considering I had tried several different things. But crackers, ginger-ale, and soup just weren’t cutting it honestly. And my husband’s concern was night sweats…” she said using air quotes. “I wasn’t aware of it myself but that’s a whole thing and I am completely transparent on this channel so, yeah” she said shrugging. “I can say we do live in Texas; it’s starting to warm up a lot here and it’s about 75 degrees at 8 and 9 o’clock at night so” she shrugged once more.  “Your girl apparently sweats like a stripper in church at night and before anyone drops below in the comments any fat jokes” she said pausing for a long time her head tilted as she looked at the camera. The edited clip is zoomed in slowly before it snaps back and Mia says “I’m fat, get over it” she said before she moved back to the items.

“For the night sweats, I simply wear less clothing to bed. Drop the temperature at night. My doctor said due to the hormones and increase blood flow etcetera pregnant women sweat and there’s that. Not much you can really do to combat it” she told the lens. “If anything, I tend to keep this bottle” she said raising it into the camera view “filled with water on the nightstand and it stays pretty cold, so it cools me down throughout the night when I drink from it,” she told them. “For the morning sickness however” she told them sitting the bottle down again my doctor suggested vitamin B6, caffeine free herbal teas, resting more, eating less greasy foods, and eating smaller portions” she told them. “My husband ordered a few bottles of the vitamin B6, which I take along with my regular prenatal vitamins. I am not going to speak on these much because collectively I can’t say that the vitamins work phenomenally on their own or if it’s the collection of things that I do, that has helped me. If you get what I mean” she told them showing them the bottle before she sat them down. “But I have noticed a difference, I say a vitamin never hurts, and you should give it a try if it has the potential of helping you. My husband said he ordered them from Amazon” she said giving them a knowing look. “Which isn’t a shocker we are the Amazon freaking family in this complex” she chuckled.

“I bought these herbal teas from our local whole foods” Mia said as she lifts the boxes, holding one of each in hands as she showed them. I have peppermint and ginger flavor. Out of the two I lean towards the peppermint one, but I do enjoy the ginger more during the day honestly” she told them. “I will usually drink the peppermint in the evening or at night” she told them “and the ginger during the day” she sighed. “I try to limit myself, but I could drink 3 cups of peppermint tea a day. I try not to though” she reiterated. “I only sweeten it with raw honey from whole foods” she added “and really I hardly use it in the ginger one” she breathed. “These help soothe my stomach greatly and I would 10/10 recommend trying this method of just hot teas, I don’t feel the brand matters these are Yogi, just steep it as instructed and drink it down” she told them sitting the boxes aside.

“I get as much rest as I can. I am a full-time student, that’s better said than done any day” she told them. “But I am not shy to naps right now honestly. I think I nap after every class or every time I eat” she chuckled. “Especially after…” she said sipping her invisible glass of tea. “Which might I add the morning sickness is like” she breathed weighing things with her hand “neck and neck with the sex* drive. I don’t get it” she said shaking her head “imagine having to throw up during sex*” she said blurting the word in the final cut. “It’s not cute” she said tucking her lips in as she shook her head once more. “Anyhow” she said changing the subject “I did cut back on grease, which wasn’t hard because truthfully I did not eat that bad beforehand. I am addicted to Chickfila and McDonald’s fries, but I didn’t eat much of it during the day considering I do like to cook, and I do cook often” she told them. “Far as portion controls go, I did make them smaller and just added healthier snacks in between. Not to mention” she said having a thought. “I make this amazing smoothie, of which I have become addict to, and I drink that every day now” she told them.

“I will drop the ingredients in the description box. But it mainly has banana, peanut butter, almond milk, ice of course, cacao, a little of my husband’s whey protein” she said measuring on her fingers and she thought to herself before she said “yes I will definitely drop it below because I am drawing a blank, but there’s other stuff I add” she told them. “It is so good” she told them, “so that’s like one of my sweet treats of the day and that will hold me for some time so that cuts down on what I intake in the morning” she breathed. Mia lifted her bottle unscrewed it and began to drink down its contents before she closed it and sat it back down. “I try to cook breakfast every morning, I was raised that it is an important meal of the day and I feel like it kicks starts me having a productive one. So, if I can I try to make us breakfast every morning” she said “today I did not” she snorted chuckling. “I woke up super late, so I had my smoothie” she told them.

“We also got me some bra’s recently, which I really needed. I went up in my sizing” she told them. “I just happened to notice when we were in Paris, I was so uncomfortable in all of the bras that I had at that time” she breathed “so a lot of what I wore I think I just said F it and didn’t wear one because my boobs were just so freaking tender and sore all the time” she told them. “When we got home, I went to a regular department store and got sized. So, I went from a 46 double D to a 46 triple D or E rather” she told them camera before she picked a bra up. “So, with that we ended buying a bunch, it was more so my husband than me” she chuckled. “We went to two separate locations” she told them “retailed they are like 50 plus dollars apiece, I think he bought me like 20 to 40 of them” she said not too sure. “He bought varieties” she told them, “regular bras, sports bras, nursing bras, and so on” she listed. “The boutique we went to was a little ways out but I can say it was worth it, I love the quality of the bras and the feel of them” she nodded. “I will be sure to drop the boutique name and location in the description box as well” she told them as she placed the bra aside.

“I will show you guys some more of the other bras” she told them as she moved to stand up and she grabbed the camera moving into the massive walk-in closet turning the light on. “This is the walk-in closet in our place” she walked over to the middle drawers and opened one showing the other bras “here are the other bras we picked up, I have so plain nude ones and black ones” she said showing them as she flipped through the bras. “And some cute and decorative ones” she said the camera angled at the bra drawer and she combed through the various ones. “So that’s that” Mia said closing the drawer with her hip and she turned back around moving to exit the closet, turning the light back off. Mia moved toward the kitchen, King trotting behind her as she did, and she panned the camera to him “look at who’s following me” she chuckled as she knelt down closer to King. “Hey” she said as she scratched his head playfully “hi baby” she said happily as cooed over him before she stood back up and continued to walk Mia turned the camera to herself and she said to the camera “okay so I am going to take King out for a little quick walk” she said looking down at him “and I am going to feed him, make sure his bowl has water and stuff and then I’ll be back to give you guys and overview of the room” she told them before she placed her hand over the camera.  

[ Saturday, March 21st, 2020 ]

“Hey guys!” Mia said cheerfully as she rested in her bed, her hair tied and face freshly washed. “Today is Saturday, March 21st” she said. “I totally ended yesterday’s vlog with me walking King and I had all intentions of coming back, but I got busy and sidetracked with a group project I had to get done” she said rolling her eyes. “So, I had to stroll all the way to the campus and met up with some 3 of my classmates to get the project done completely” she said rubbing her eyes and her forehead. “It took forever, I have always hated group projects and assignments because truthfully” she shrugged “Not everyone has good work ethics. I think I left the campus at about 7 or 8 pm which was crazy to me” she said shaking her head. “But it’s done, there’s no stressing over that anymore. I am happy” she told them as she moved to get up out of the bed and the camera caught a very small glimpse of Tyler’s outline beneath the sheets lying in bed in the background as she moved towards their kitchen “it’s” she breathed softly as she walked towards the stove and she panned the camera to the time “9:30 am” she told them tiredly. “And I am about to make me a smoothie, my husband a protein shake” she breathed setting the camera up on the counter.

“I think I am going to make spinach and cheese eggs, some turkey sausage, and a little fruit” she shrugged. “He’s laying down, he’s probably already had some cereal or something” she said scratching her arm idly. “He woke up very earlier today, he’s an artist. So, I can say his creative flow happens either first thing in the morning or late, late at night” she told them.

In this clip of the video, it is speed up as you watch Mia cook around the kitchen in a Ethika pull over camo bra and staple shorts. Never mind the fact that the spandex held Mia in all of the right places as she moved around.

“Okay, so breakfast is served” Mia said as the camera is zoomed in onto their plated meals before she turned the camera to herself and says. “So, we are going to eat, and I’ll be back shortly” she told them, placing her hand over the camera.

“Okay so it’s about 10:45 am” Mia says looking at her phone screen for the time as she held the camera up to her face. “I am going to now show you the overview of the room” she told them as she sat her phone on the cleaned kitchen counter and she walked down the hallway passing a large mirror. “I changed after we ate, I just have on this Pretty Little Thing basic white V-neck and some of their lounge or sports wear pants” she said turning to the side. “My husband likes when I wear these” she said pulling her shirt up a bit as she angled her ass just right “any who” she chuckled before she opened the door to the room. She stood in the door way and said “this is how it’s looking right now, don’t mind those boxes over there in the corner” she pointed out “those are amazon packages I need to open with a few little things I want to try inside them” she said.

“Um, it does look like a lot of equipment and stuff. But it isn’t, we didn’t want to go overboard. This is just a two-bedroom place. We will have to move me out of this space eventually to turn this into a nursery” she told them. “I know some people asked about that on the last video, what we were going to do once the baby did come and we decided on a nursery layout” she breathed. “I think I will move my step up into the living room or maybe we get rid of a dining table” she shrugged. “You guys haven’t seen this, because I haven’t taken you guys in that space, but we have two massive tables with 20 plus chairs at them and honestly” she chuckled “even with both sides of the family together one table is large enough to accompany everyone. So, I may ask my husband can we remove that table or sell it or something. I don’t know” she said moving her hand to her mouth as she thought to herself.

“But this is the set up” Mia said getting back on topic “I have a backdrop; I have the other fabric choices in the closet for right now. I have 2 soft box lights” she said moving around the room now to show each item. “I took the chair and the side tables you saw in the first video out. He bought me a longer table to rest my laptop and stuff on. We got rid of the obvious bed in here. I think he sold that; I am not sure. I came home and it was gone” she told them. “I have a new chair, which I love” she said showing the baby pink chair to them. “Everything in here is pink, gold, and white. Very much cut aesthetically pleasing” she told them. “I have small decorative pieces here and there to add to the look, but again outside of a plant I didn’t add much in here only because I know it has to change anyway. Now we don’t know the sex of the baby, but if it is a girl some of this stuff can double as décor for her, if not. Well like I said it’s moving” she told them as she slowly panned the room “that’s my large monitor” she said as she continued to move past it slowly.

“Checking in” Mia said as she looked to the camera set up on the table near the kitchen. “It is 1 pm in the afternoon. I just made myself some lunch, my husband is gone. He’s out working and stuff” she breathed. “And I made a salmon burger” she told them, “I will have to show you guys my recipe one day. I had that, sweet potatoes fries, and water” she said lifting her bottle for them to see how much of the water in 1-liter bottle was left. Mia panned the camera to the textbooks and her notes “so I am studying now and doing some homework. We will be on Spring break soon, so I am trying to finish strong” she told them. “And I am going to set you guys up to watch my techniques a bit” she said. Mia sat the camera up and she began taking notes, using various colored gel pens and various colored highlighters, she wrote in very neat and legible handwriting as she showed them how her brain worked to process what she was reading and studying. Mia focused on the textbook flipping the page, she didn’t skim she read the book word for word before she scribbled something down quickly each time. She stopped and scrolled her MacBook before she moved back to her textbook and continued to write up her notes. The video then begins to speed up, showing you each hour that passed as she completed her assignments both online and in her notebooks. She moved back and forth before she reached the 4-hour mark and stopped the time-lap.

“Okay, so I managed to type up some work. I started an essay. I finished 4 assignments and I studied for one of my finance classes, I study hard because those kick my ass* the most” she said the word being bleeped out. “Now King is whining by the door, so I am going to take him out and let him get some fresh air. I am going to feed him; give him some water and I’ll check in a little later” Mia said with a smile before she placed her hand over the camera.

[ Sunday, March 22nd, 2020 ]

“What’s up people” Mia said as the camera facing her in a full face of makeup and her hair down her back. “I just got back from church” she said truthfully. “If I can I make sure I get my butt up every Sunday and go to church” she told them. “After I left there, I stopped by the store to get groceries and I am going to tell you guys what I got” she said. “I changed out of my church clothes” she told them, showing herself in a mirror. “I am nice and comfy now. On Sunday’s I try to bathe King, clean the house. House cleaning is definitely on Sunday’s for me, that is when I am the least busy” she told them. “My husband is out; he doesn’t go to church with me” she notified.

She turned the camera towards the bags of groceries, “it seems like a lot, but honestly I needed stuff to make today’s dinner and we needed to buy actual stuff for the house. It had been a while” she told them. “So, I stopped at whole foods” she said setting the camera up angled at the bags.

Mia has everything set up on the counter, and she held the camera that was facing the food for right now. “I sat it all out and I am just going to name each item for you” she told them “I think I am going to make my famous lasagna, which I have not made for my husband yet. So, I am excited to see how he’ll react to it. If he’ll like it or not” she told them. While either pointing or touching each item Mia began to list off across the countertop “there is lasagna noodles, olive oil, ground turkey instead of ground beef simply because I am trying to cut back on greasy and fatty foods like my doctor said” she breathed. “Fresh garlic, oregano, marinara sauce which I got 2 jars of because I like to make my lasagna with at least 4 or 5 layers” she said with a hand gesture, moving it side to side. “Ricotta, no particular brand” she shrugged though they couldn’t see her. “Parmesan, parsley, mozzarella, baby spinach mix, Caesar dressing, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, bacon, organic honey, lemon, oranges, bananas, organic peanut butter, chia seeds, cacao nibs, whey protein mainly for my husband who does workout often” she said inhaling deeply before she said “salmon, avocado, everything but the bagel seasoning. For my avocado toast, y’all have to try it” she said plugging the item in.

“Bagels, whole wheat bread, coconut water, orange juice, naked drinks, garlic bread, regular lemonade and raspberry lemonade. Because my husband loves juice, he’s a juice guy. I have to keep juice in the house for him, I can live off water and tea and be fine. A little OJ here and there, but he loves juice” she said turning the camera back to herself now. “So that gives you guys a little idea of what our cart looks like when we go shopping for groceries” she told them as she moved around the kitchen to begin putting the items up in their rightful places. “I am slowly building up some things that I love to cook with in here, far as seasonings and everything goes. While we were still dating my husband lived in our home and he didn’t do much cooking at all, so it was very minimal things in here, but I have added a lot of the necessities for me to cook with in here” she smirked. “I am in the process of organizing our pantry right here” she showed them. “I have all the containers” she told them as she showed each one “and their labels are already on, I hand wrote them. I didn’t mind doing so” she said easily. “I have a few matching baskets for his chips, granola bars, protein bars, and stuff” she said showing a few things. “All of his cereal is in those containers up there. He loves” she emphasized “cereal so it’s a variety” she said panning over it. Mia closed the door and moved to set the camera back up on the countertop.

“I used to pick up a bottle of 2 of wine each time I shopped to keep our wine cellar full but since I can’t drink, I have just left that be” she said gesturing towards that area of the house with her hand. “So, I am going to put these things up fully, and I will be back when I start to clean the place up. It’s only about 1:30 pm right now and I won’t start cooking until about 5 or 6” she told them. “So, during that time, I clean and all those other things I told you guys before” she said.

“So, this is King” Mia said holding the puppy up to the camera hugging him to her face happily before she pecked his head. “He’s only a month old” she said looking at him as the puppy licked her fingers. “He’s not quite a big boy yet, so I bathe him in the sink for now” she told them. “All the things I use for him” she said as she positioned him in a laying position in her arms “I keep in this baby blue basket, that I have labeled King” she said lifting it with one hand for them to see. “I keep it in the laundry room along with his food and any extra stuff for him, toys, leash, etcetera” she said. “In here I have his small little measuring cup” she said “this is mainly to rinse him off and as quickly as possible before he makes a huge mess” she showed. “Here’s his brush and comb” she said picking up each item for them to see. “His puppy soap, a small little towel just for him, and an essential oil. It helps maintain a fresh scent and they are not harmful to dogs at all, I use the rose or lemongrass ones” she told them. “Pits don’t have strong odors at all, so it just for the heck of it honestly” she shrugged.

The video begins to speed up showing Mia bathing King gently and rinsing him before she dries him off and brushed his fur, she rubs some oil into him before she picks him up in his towel and cuddles him gently to her chest.

Mia held the camera in her hand, and she rested King in his bed in their room, still wrapped in his little towel before she moved to clean the bathroom up. “So now I am going to clean up” she told them, sitting the camera back down. “I am starting with the bathroom, then I am going to clean our bedroom. I use all organic and very clean products especially because of King. If you are cleaning with Bleach or any other harsh products with a dog, just keep in mind they have sensitive noses people” she said looking at the camera. “I use either Method, Thieves, or Meyers” she listed out for them. “Okay so let’s get this started” Mia said before the video began to speed up once more.

Mia is shown grabbing all the mats and walking out of the room before she returns with a Swiffer and broom. She places those two items aside before she begins to clean the shower and the tub in the shower. She took the stand in their shower out and set it aside before she moved back to clean out the tub first and then moving to clean the entire shower itself. She got on her hands and knees and began to scrub the tile with a brush cleaner, when she was done with each section, she used the bucket she had to pour water against it to clear the tile of its suds. When she was done with that she set everything back into place before she began to clean the sinks and the toilet before she then began to sweep and Swiffer the bathroom floors clean.

Mia is then shown setting the camera up in the room, where she sat King and his bed on their already made up bed. She began to clean up their bedroom putting things in their proper places again before she took, cups and bottles back in their kitchen to be washed. The fast-paced Mia moved to straighten the nightstands up on both their sides before she began to vacuum the rug in their room. Making sure she took King out of the room beforehand did due to his sensitive ears. The plus-sized woman moved around the rug twice before she turned that off and put it away. When Mia returned, she sat King and his bed on the floor in their room again before she cleaned the sitting area up in the room as well.

“I am all done cleaning now” Mia said as she held the camera up “whew” she breathed out as she licked her lips slowly. “I cleaned our room, the bathroom, the living room, and our kitchen” she told them as she stood in the kitchen now, it being the last place that she cleaned. Mia purposefully left out the other areas of the room assuming Tyler wouldn’t want all of their space exposed, though she hadn’t asked him that yet. “After I finished all of the cleaning. I washed my face clean of all that makeup I had on and I bathed” she said pointing to the camera. “Now I am going to start dinner, my husband is finally back home. He’s in the living room right now so I am going to get started…” she told them as she began to take the items she needed out and placed them on the counter. She set the camera up on the counter again before she said “I am going to cook the lasagna and I think I am going to have a side salad and garlic bread” she told them as she moved.

The video begins to speed up and Mia starts to grab the pan she needs for her lasagna before she began to prepare the dish completely. Mia moved step by step making the dish in its now speed up pace.

“Here’s the lasagna all cooked and ready, I have garlic bread here, and I made a salad with that spinach mix” she said to the camera as she pointed to each individual dish. “Babe!” Mia called out loudly for Tyler from the kitchen where she was standing.

Tyler sat in the living room, his feet propped up on the ottoman as he watched the TV closely, following the storyline to a T. As Mia called him, he responded “yeah, babe?” loudly, his eyes not once leaving the TV as he stood up from the couch, without waiting for her response. He slowly began to walk out of the room, stumbling over his two feet a bit as he continued to look at the screen. Once he was at an angle where he really couldn’t see it anymore, he turned his body walking normal, his socked feet sliding against the hardwood.

“Baby come here” Mia called out to him as she grabbed a large spoon and dipped it in the pan for him to try her recipe. The food was still hot, but it wasn’t hot enough to burn his mouth when he ate it. “Come try this baby” she said as she heard him turning to the side as she held the spoon out. She blew the food a little before she said “I want to see if you like my lasagna recipe baby” the camera still rolling, she looked to King resting at her feet in the kitchen before she looked up at him.

Tyler looked at Mia as she spoke and he nodded slowly as he walked closer, leaning in a little, his chest in the camera view unknowingly. He opened his mouth and accepted the spoon full of lasagna. “Mmm,” he hummed out as he chewed it. “That’s real good babe,” he told her as he wrapped her up in his arms, pulling her to his chest, his hands sliding down to her ass, gripping her there, in front of the camera.

As Tyler accepted, she smiled knowingly, you could see her in the camera view but not him which she found amusing. As he tasted the sample and told her it was good, she smiled “you really like it?” Mia asked him.

Tyler held Mia close, cupping her by her ass and he squeezed. “Of course,” he told her as he finished swallowing. “You know everything you cook is damn good,” he complimented her, dropping a kiss on her lips.

The video began to speed up as the two of them spoke and chuckled with each other. Tyler is seen patting her butt, kissing her lips a few times, making his plate and moving out of the camera view with his dinner.

Mia sits and she eats dinner next to Tyler and she licks her lips of the string of cheese that covered it before she said. “I think I am going to try to upload once or twice a week” biting her lip, and she turned to Tyler even though he wasn’t in the screen at and all and ask, “babe what do you think?” curiously.

Tyler leaned forward, his elbows on the counter as he ate. At Mia’s words, Tyler nodded slowly. “I think that’s good, steady content promotes more followers,” he said easily, licking his lips.

Mia chuckled at his response, always the supportive one “you are right” she told him as she leaned over her head on his arm for a moment before she sits back upright forking some more food into her mouth.

“Okay guys, I am going to go cuddle up with the hubby and we are going to watch a movie. A little later I am probably just going to study which you guys saw me do in… yesterday’s vlog” she said with a smile. “So I am going to log out” she said with a smirk a she rested against the kitchen counter “make sure you guys subscribe, like, comment below, and press that little bell button so that you are notified of any future videos from the Carter clan” she said before she placed her hand over the camera again.

[lucanogis]

I want to hear about "Who is the one that writes on their arm to remind themselves to do something?", because it features one of my favourite lines. It was part of an ask answer, but it's still a ficlet!

Ah, my beautiful married domestic children. How I love them. Thanks so much for saying it features one of your favorite lines! Uh, I just reposted the ficlet beneath and added comments. Hope it’s interesting! You can also find the fic here. 

They were laying side by side on the king sized bed of their honeymoon suite when she saw the dark ink on his skin. Outside, the sun was starting to set and the sky was a flaming gold, a soft red, an inviting blue all at once.

For some reason, descriptions of sunset / sunrise show up in my stories A LOT. To be honest, I just like talking about colors, since I tend to look at the sky in the evenings from my window. If we’re being logical about it, this would probably be a day after the wedding itself, since by the time you get to a honeymoon suite it tends to be dark already. They just spent the day in bed banging enjoying life.

Hotaru reached out, softly tracing the outlines with one finger, his blue eyes following her movement as she went over his palm, to his wrist and up his arm. When their eyes met, she could see the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Look I haven’t written smut yet (publicly) but you can be damn fucking sure that Hotaru doesn’t need to do more than touch Luca with a single finger to make him lose his mind. So this scene is shit I find hot. You kidding, slow, languid touches? Damn. Rated R. I add this stuff so I can rub my hands over my face and giggle weirdly, by myself, in my room. 

“I wasn’t sure,” Luca told her, “whether I would remember all that I wanted to say. I didn’t want to miss anything important, so I wrote my vows down. Ended up winging it though but hey, at least I came prepared.”

I write stuff on my hands, which inevitably ends up smudged and unreadable. But doing it beforehand has a calming effect - you can tell yourself that if you do end up forgetting, you have something to trigger your memory. Helps with anxiety! I imagine Luca as a nervous person, not because he’s necessarily worried about himself but worried about not being enough for other people. 

And he wants Hotaru to know everything he feels, obviously - doesn’t matter that he’s already showed her what he feels the years they’ve known each other. Of course in the end he looks at her and forgets the worry and the pressure of doing everything just right because it’s not about being right, but about being true to yourself. Hotaru’s brand of tough love can be difficult, but if she choses you? Then you know that someone brilliant believes in you whole-heartedly. That makes winging it seem strangely OK. 

She squinted and shifted closer, her bare chest brushing his as she peered at the writing.

( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Married adults aren’t shy about their naked bits. They’re comfortable around each other. 

“What does it say?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Luca joked. “I have to save a few of my good, eternally cheesy line for the rest of our lives. A regular eighty year old woman might not notice I’m recycling love declarations but you? You would notice right away. Besides-” He kissed her, lingering on her lips for a few seconds before drawing away again. There was a smile on his face and she knew, without seeing it, that it mirrored the one she was wearing.

“It’s just variations on a theme,” Luca said.

I love the “variations on a theme” line. One, because I’m a faux-cultured person who likes to seem smart. Two, as a nod to the fact that love can look differently every time, for different people. But at the same time, weirdly, it’s also the same thing for everyone, the thing every person shares. Variations on a theme!

A gift to one of my best friends once upon a time was a bowl full of letters, one for each birthday. There were like 20 or so letters in there, so she’s set for a while. Saving lovely messages for people you love time has seemed adorable to me ever since. 

“What’s the theme?,” Hotaru asked. “Financial security? Tax breaks?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I really wanted to talk about taxes in front of our friends and family. No. It’s love, you giant menace.”

Luca grabbed her finger, using it to point at the now smudged words on his arm.

“This one says that you’re going to change the world and I can’t believe I’m blessed enough to get to watch you do it.”

Obviously, Hotaru will change the world. I’m a jealous person - if people are successful, I easily get worried that they’ll forget about me in their greatness. So feeling overwhelming joy at other people’s success is a sign of love and selflessness to me, hence why I incorporated it here. Luca’s always been happy about the joy of others - just think of his reaction to Natsume and Mikan’s kiss. His wife’s brilliance would be a daily marvel to him. Precious baby. 

Together, their hands wandered.

( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

“This one,” he said, “is about how much I adore the face you make whenever you get one of your big ideas. You squish your nose together like a bear that smelled something delicious. And this one’s about about how I’m not going to let you forget that I have your back, always. And this one’s about how I’m going to love you no matter what but that’s a given. Oh and this one,” he pointed at the one on his wrist, “is the first thing you ever said to me.”

A small thing, that seems insignificant but combines a) a detail you only notice by really paying attention to another person and b) is a reminder of something Hotaru really cares about, aka inventing. And Luca’s always had her back - when they infiltrated Z, when they started the Uprising, when he safeguarded her headphones. I don’t think she needs the reminder, honestly. But it’s there anyway. And love, forever and ever and always. I’m a cheese at heart. 

“What was it,?” she asked. Luca laughed. “I was standing next to you in line at breakfast and you said: ’Get out of my way’,” he quoted from memory. “You know what I answered?”

“No,” she said.  

“‘I don’t think so, Imai’. I’m pretty sure I got shot for that.”

We have no canon evidence of this, obviously, but can you imagine Hotaru Imai reacting any different to a blond kid with a rabbit and giant blue eyes, someone she instantly pings as a “person she can push around”? But Luca’s got Natsume to deal with and back then, she has nothing to blackmail him with. He’s not moving an inch.  

Hotaru felt a burning sensation in her eyes and she turned away, hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder. His hand came up to rest on her back, lightly tracing up and down. At length, she turned back. Outside, night had fallen and the stars had come out bright and clear.

INTIMATE TOUCHING

And the stars are out, because Luca and Hotaru became friends beneath the stars in my canon-verse. 

“I’m glad,” Hotaru told him.

“About what,?” Luca asked.

“I’m glad you didn’t get out of my way,” she said. “Right next to me is where I want you to be, now and…for whatever’s ahead.”

She could see the glint of the wedding ring on his finger when he reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face.

“That’s good then,” Luca said softly. “Because right next to you is where I want to be for life.”

Hotaru often ends up alone in the manga. She ends up alone in the very beginning, going to the Academy to save her former school. She ends up alone when she is shot, and her friends go to save her. Subaru is there, but plot-wise, she is isolated. And she ends up alone in the end - stranded in a time-stream. These are all choices she makes (aside from getting shot) because she thinks they are necessary to save her friends.

Luca often follows people. He follows Natsume, first to his home when they’re children and then all the way to the school. He follows Yuu’s illusion into the woods because he thinks animals are threatened. And he follows Mikan into Z’s hideout and into the cellars under the Middle School. He does these things because he thinks they are necessary to save his friends.

Usually, they aren’t given much of a choice: They’re fighting for their lives or the lives of their friends. Here, that isn’t the case. What do you chose when it’s a peaceful, quiet moment? Who do you chose?

I like to think that when there’s peace, they chose each other to stay with and fight for, and that after this choice, neither one of them ever has to be alone again. 

[imagining-in-the-margins]

TB&TB 🐇 Anon Answers 1 of... something. There are a lot. Sorry 😅

1. Heheh, I giggled when I wrote it! And I agree... very telling 😛

2. Now is when I out myself as a weirdo and admit I don't really picture things in my head, and when I do, they are very vague. Most of the time, I see the characters as cartoonized or animated versions of themselves. Bunny in particular, I change her appearance in my head regularly. I do this to ensure that I take all of my Readers into account when describing her, and because I can't ever seem to make up my mind.

I can try to do a couple Picrew versions of her, if anyone is interested!

Also, thank you so much and I am so glad you are here and enjoying yourself!!!

3. Thank you so much, friend! I love when people send me quotes from my writing; it really helps me improve and it's a joy to read people's reactions.

I love and appreciate you ❤️

4. Domestic is definitely a good word for them! They stay that way the rest of the fic, too 😚 But yes... Kyle certainly poked the bear a bit too hard this time. Not a side of Spencer that Bunny has ever seen.

5. Aaaa I wrote that scene first because I was so excited for it! I love dopey lovesick Spencer so much. He just loves her and wants her to be safe and happy so badly.

I checked my AO3 link and it was working for me, but those links are notoriously finicky. If you can't get it to work, my AO3 should be listed in my Masterlist of Links (pinned post) as well!

6. Heheh, people are taking it much lighter than I anticipated... I'm not sure how much more possessive Spencer there will be, but I imagine he'll bleed through a few times at least. That scene was a showing of weakness for him, so it's something he actively tries to avoid.

7. Make sure you take breaks! Absence makes the heart grow fonder 😜

8. So bad. He'll get there, though. He knows. I do not intend to dance around that topic.

9. Awwwe it's so nice to know people think about this series as much as I do, lol! I do miss focusing on my oneshots, but the regularity of it is nice. I'm definitely a sucker for a schedule. But yeah, it would've been way too hectic to try to do it this week. I don't think I'll finish before next week, either and I'm pretty bummed about it 😬

Best of luck with the health related struggles, though. I hope you get some relief soon, and then you can enjoy TB&TB without that stuff on the backburner!

10. I'm so glad to hear that you relate to my writing and it makes you feel even a little bit better about yourself. I promise you, we think that people care about these things more than they actually do. I knew and know multiple women in their mid to late twenties (and some in their thirties!) who are virgins, and it doesn't phase most people.

Trust me when I say that it is much more preferable, in my opinion at least, that you wait until you're comfortable with yourself before you pursue a sexual life. It would have saved me from a lot of dangerous situations.

That being said, the idea that you "have to love yourself first" before someone can love you is complete garbage. People will still love you with your faults. That's part of loving someone... accepting their flaws. You're going to find someone that makes you happy however you need, and you will live a great life.

Best of luck!

Thank you everyone for your patience on my vacation! I'll try to line up those Blurbs to post soon! 🥰

also i still have a bunch of asks to answer, sorry!