#see I’m guessing it’s because they kept harping on him asking why we weren’t dating

[bobarodent]

Just learned from a buddy of mine (not lgbtqia+) that he outed me to his entire family when I wasn’t there. He doesn’t seem to understand why this is bad. Doing my best to try and handle it.

[13-reasons-ideas]

requests are still open yay! MontyxOc, Oc dated Monty a year ago.. things didn’t quite work out but her & Monty maintained a close friendship some say a little too close for ex’s. She stared dating (any one of the guys) but Monty continued to flirt with her she wasn’t stopping him either, She feels bad & tells Monty to stop flirting & trying to get with her... He doesn’t she starts to get fed up and on a class trip they argue over it.. the argument however ends much differently (smut)

A/N: This story contains SMUT. DNI if under 18. 18+ only. This is a long one you guys. Definitely bring a snack and a cup of tea to read it. I’m sorry if the spacing is weird. I can’t to hear what you have to say about it! Feedback is appreciated and much love as always. - Em

Friends Don’t 

I met Monty in the park. Things had been different between us recently. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He turned in my direction. I sat on a picnic table and watched him for a few minutes. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

“What’s going on in that hot head of yours?”

“I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t want to mess everything up.”

“Well how will you know if you do, if you don’t take the chance?” I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this Reagan.” Even though I had a feeling, it still felt like a punch in the gut to hear him say it.

“For what?”

“Things to get serious.”

“Who said anything about serious? We are sixteen.”

“I don’t know. Do you want to pretend that I’m ready to date someone? That doesn’t seem very fair to you.”

I shrugged. He has a point. He’s not exactly in a great place right now. “I guess not.” Even though I didn’t want to, I felt tears starting to well up and the familiar prickle in my nose. I blinked a few times because I knew he was right. It just sucked to hear.

“I don’t want to not have you around though.”

“I know. I don’t want to not have you around either. You know me better than anyone. Best friends?”

“Best friends.”

“And if you ever need anything, I’m there. No matter what.”

“Day or night.”

“Always.”

ONE YEAR LATER

Monty and I stayed close. We kept our promise to be best friends. After all, we knew each other better than anyone. We hung out after school and got coffee. He came over and we watched movies. It was almost like we didn’t break up. Almost. For a while after our breakup things were awkward. We hadn’t really figured out where our boundaries were. After some time, we got comfortable again. Some people would say we were a little too close. It didn’t really matter that much to us if we still flirted or finished each other’s sentences.

It didn’t matter, at least until I started spending time with a certain other jock. Zach Dempsey had caught my eye before senior year but there was something about him that was different that September. He was still kind of cruel, but he was trying. He meant well. He just didn’t always know how to go about things in the best way. I knew what being forced to spend extended time with Bryce walker could do to a person. Zach and I had a few classes together over the years. Our friendship started like a lot of friendships did in school. You got stuck sitting next to someone and so you had to decide if you wanted to ignore them for the rest of the semester, or if you wanted to make your semester not suck and play nice.

We decided on the latter that first day of world history. He was late to class and the only empty seat was next to mine. I had spent time around him when Montgomery and I were dating so we were able to at least talk to each other. Our interactions consisted mostly of homework and school stuff for about a month or so. Then, slowly, we started talking about our interests and other things on our way to lunch. On one such walk to lunch, he told me about his dream of becoming a marine biologist.

“Seriously?” I asked him.

“Yeah. It’s cool. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just guess I pegged you as a guy who would want to do the athlete thing and get a business degree in case you didn’t get drafted.”

“Nah. That… that isn’t really in the cards for me.” I nodded.

“I want to go into social work.”

“No way, really?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate on why I wanted to. That was not my story to share.

“Zachy!” Scott called across the room when we got to the cafeteria.

“I- I should probably get going.” He stammered.

“Yeah. My friends are waiting.” I waved over at Jess and Alex. Zach started to walk away but turned around again.

“Did you want to get a coffee or see a movie sometime?”

“Like, together?”

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged, trying to play it cool.

“I think I’d like that. Oh, and can you tell Montgomery and Bryce Cheerios is not lunch?” I laughed.

“But they are.”

“I guess we can discuss it over coffee.” I smiled.

“Wednesday after school?”

“Sure.”

I sat at a table with my friends. “So. I’m going on a date.” Jess and Alex looked at me with wide eyes.

“Shit. No way.” Jess smiled.

“Yeah. Zach Dempsey.” I explained, answering their unspoken question.

“Zach is nice.” Alex added.

“And he’s like… really good looking.”

“I know, right?”

“Tall.”

“Very tall.”

“Doesn’t have an anger problem.” Jess muttered under her breath. My smile faltered. I looked up and Monty’s eyes were on me. My phone vibrated. Cheerios is lunch pretty girl. I rolled my eyes. Zach said he has a date. Wouldn’t happen to be a certain girl in his world history class, would it?

I’ll give you details after. And why do you care?

On Wednesday I got a ride with Justin and Clay to school. My car was in the shop for maintenance and my house was on the way from theirs. After school, Zach drove me to Monet’s. I got to ride shotgun in the Audi. The wind feels different. Maybe it’s because this car costs more than my education will. He was a safe driver, I noticed. Soon, we had parked outside the cozy little café. We didn’t hold hands on the way inside.

Inside, I ordered a hot chocolate, and he got a cup of tea. “You like pomegranate?” I asked when we sat down.

“Yeah. It’s tart.”

“It’s pretty good. One of my favourite tea flavours.” We made small talk for a while. I wasn’t sure when the last time he had been on a date was. I hadn’t been on a real date since Monty and I broke up last year.

“Your opinion on Cheerios is wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Yeah. It’s lunch food. Or breakfast food. Hell, even dinner food.” I shook my head.

“I will never understand boys.” He laughed and picked up his spoon. “What are you doing?”

“Just watch.” He breathed on the spoon and tried to balance it on his nose. I giggled and it stuck for maybe three seconds before falling to the table. I burst out laughing.

“Can I try?” I picked up my own spoon.

“Go for it.”

“Okay, okay how do I do this?”

Zach reached over and took the spoon, holding it in front of my mouth. “Breath on it.” I did. “Now before it dries, take it, and place it on the end of your nose.” I did as he said. It fell instantly.

“Try again?” He waved. I tried again and it fell, yet again. “One more. I think I know the spot now.”

“Go on.” This time, I was able to get it to balance for four seconds. “Does this make me champion?”

“Sure. Until we have rematch.”

“A rematch you say?”

“Yes.”

“I look forward to it. Mostly so I can win again.” I smirked slightly. We spent the next couple of hours just talking to each other about stuff. Mrs. Dempsey called him home around five.

“Yeah Mom. I’m just out with the guys going over some plays. I’ll be home soon.”

“I take it I’m getting my refill to go?”

“Yeah. It seems that way. I’ll drive you home.”

We went on like that for the next few weeks. We would meet for coffee or meet up to see a movie. Go for walks in the park or by the docks. It was nice. Different than what Montgomery and I had, but it was a welcome change. We went public at school before we decided to tell our parents. My parents weren’t exactly ecstatic about me dating in my senior year and I knew how his mom felt about girls in his life. I was still talking to Monty. All the while, we had kept up the flirty banter we had started a few weeks after our breakup. Zach didn’t seem to mind much. “Good morning Beautiful.” He said as he walked over to my locker that morning.

“Hey 85.” I smiled brightly at him.

“You look very cute.”

“Why thank you kind gentleman.” I grabbed my bag off the floor and shoved my geometry book in it. Zach threw his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to class. I rested my head against him and we chatted about our night.

“So, you guys are public now.” Monty said, walking up to us with Charlie in tow.

“That’s really cute.” Charlie said.

“Yes.” I smiled. I felt Monty’s eyes traveling my body and I couldn’t help the blush that crept up my neck.

“Yeah.” Zach said.

“That’s great.” Monty replied. When we walked away, he called out, “I’ll see you around Reagan.”

I turned and called back to him, “yes you will.”

In the following few days, Monty kept up with the flirting. I didn’t stop it. I found it kind of amusing. “Going to harp on my lunch choices again Rea?”

“No. You’re an adult. I trust you to make proper choices.”

“Now, Reagan. You should know I’ve never been good with proper.” I rolled my eyes. Oh, I know.

“Seems to have done you pretty well so far. How’s… uh… collarbone tattoo?”

“Katie?”

“Sure.” He merely shrugged.

“How’s Zachy?”

“Zach is good.” Zach said, sitting down at the table. I swatted Monty’s hand away when he reached for a cookie.

“And you should know by now to not touch my food Montgomery.”

“Oh. She full named you. What’s it like to be called out by your ex like that, man?” Bryce asked.

“You don’t get a cookie either Bryce.”

“Reagan.” He held his hand up to his chest. “You wound me.”

“That’s sad for you.” I shrugged. Zach turned to me and shot me a megawatt smile.

“Do I get a cookie?” I thought for a moment.

“You can get half a cookie.”

“It’s half more than I had before.”

“I’m his best friend. Can I have the other half?” Justin asked when he sat down.

“No. My cookies.”

“I’ll trade you my Milky Way for that half.”

“No.” I laughed. “You’re sure you’re okay to come to my place later?” I asked Zach.

“Yeah. It’s just your parents. Parents like me.”

“Did he just say ‘just your parents’?” Monty looked at me with wide eyes. I shrugged. “Reagan.”

“Monty.”

“Your dad threatened to shoot me.”

“My parents never really liked you though.”

“Gee, I wonder what gave you that impression?”

“What would have?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe when her dad threatened to shoot me.”

“Parents don’t like you. They’ll love me.” Zach beamed.

“They don’t like you because you ruined their daughter.” Bryce laughed. Again, I shrugged. Can’t really argue with him there. Monty merely smirked, proudly. Ugh men.

“Anyway. You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And can you remind me again why we sit here?”

“You get to see me.” Monty chuckled.

“No. No I don’t think that’s why.”

“Hurtful.”

**

In the few months after Zach and I started dating, his mom had come around to the idea of me being in his life. I spent time at his house, mostly working on homework or helping May with hers. It was tense at first but she came around eventually. Once she realized I only wanted what was best for her son. My parents were getting more used to the idea of me dating again. They saw how we interacted and seemed to approve more than they did with Monty. I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t emptying the first aid kit my mom kept stocked every month or so.

Monty and I were still close. He had recently started seeing a girl named Kyla. I wasn’t sure how serious it was but figured it could be good for him. It didn’t stop him from flirting with me though.

“Good morning gorgeous.”

“Good morning Montgomery. Good night?” I laughed.

“Of course.”

“How was your date with Kyla?” I asked.

“It was good. She cooked for me.”

“That’s nice. Was it good?” Charlie asked, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

“I mean, sure. Some kind of spinach something or other?”

“You hate spinach.” I said.

“Yes. And you hate tha-.” Monty started. I saw Zach walking towards us.

“Shhhh.” I cut him off. “Hey babe.”

“Hey beautiful.” Zach pulled me into a hug and placed a kiss on my head. “How was dinner at Alex’s last night?”

“It was good. His mom let me bring contraband in the house.”

“Contraband?” Bryce asked.

“He’s not allowed to have junk food.” Charlie explained.

“Something about healthy body healthy mind or something.”

“She’s not wrong Rea.” Zach said.

“I know but still. Let the kid have a candy bar once in a while. It won’t hurt him.”

“He prefers sour patch kids.”

“I know.” The bell rang and interrupted us. I sighed heavily and took Zach’s hand. He walked me to math and kissed me on the cheek as he left. I smiled brightly at his retreating form.

Monty texted me in math. As I was saying, you hate that you and Zach haven’t fucked yet. Have you even gotten to second base yet?

None of your god damn business.

I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry. It’ll happen eventually. I could get Charlie to get Alex to talk to him. Or you could let me talk to him.

No!

What? You don’t want me to tell him all your dirty little secrets?

I swear to God, De la Cruz. I will wring your neck in your sleep.

You’d be doing my dad a favour. You’d at least get past the front door.

I’d wring his first. Now stop texting me and learn some shit.

Fine.

Zach sat with Alex, Jess, and I at lunch. Kyla was sitting with Monty. I got the impression that she didn’t really like me all that much. In order to avoid a catfight-as much as I think the boys would like to see it- I found it best not to sit with them when she was around. Plus, it gave me a bit of a break from all the sports talk I had to pretend to care about. I shared my granola with Jess. Alex ‘stole’ my gummy bears. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had the other bag in history. Zach kept my little secret. I felt him watching me out of the corner of his eye. He was talking to Alex about some video game. Jess and I rolled our eyes. “Boys.” We said in unison.

That weekend, Zach and I went for a walk along the docks. It was a beautiful day outside. We walked hand in hand just talking. When we felt like taking a break, we sat down on a bench overlooking the water and watched the waves. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. “Part of me wishes it was cold out, so I could offer you my sweater.”

“Me too.” I smiled.

“You look adorable in them.”

I giggled and hid my face in his shoulder. “I do not.”

“You do though.”

“Okay.” I blushed. He grinned at me as I peeked up at him.

We spent another hour walking and enjoying our time together. When it started to get dark, Zach walked me back to his car. He held the door open for me and kissed me before closing it. He is so sweet. The radio was playing softly. We sat in content silence for most of the drive. The purr of the engine lulled me into a peaceful sleep. “Reagan.” He whispered. I didn’t want to wake up. “Reagan. Baby, wake up for a second please.”

“Hmm?” My eyes stayed closed

“I just wanted to know if you want anything from Starbucks.”

“Sleeping.”

“You can stay in the car and sleep if you want.”

“Kay.”

“I’ll get you something.” He whispered and kissed my temple before getting out and locking the car. When I woke up, there was a cup of tea in the cup holder for me. So thoughtful.

**

I was in the middle of getting ready for a date with Zach when someone rang my doorbell. Running to answer it, my eyes widened when I saw Monty. His cheek was already starting to bruise and his knuckles were bloody. “Hey.”

“Uh. Hey there friend.” Blood was dripping onto my porch. “Just a sec.” I held up a finger and ran to grab a towel. He wrapped it around his hand before stepping inside. Thankfully there won’t be blood on the floor now. He stood in the entryway. “How’s the other guy?” I asked as I pulled out my phone to text Zach. Monty didn’t answer.

I’m so sorry. I have to cancel tonight. I think I’m coming down with a cold. I want to try to nip it in the bud and sleep it off.  

That’s okay. Do you want me to come over? I can bring you soup.

No, thanks though Zach. I’m just going to go get ready for bed and sleep so I can be better by Monday.

Okay. I’m just a text or call away if you need anything. <3

Thank you. <3

Now that my plans with Zach were taken care of, I was able to focus on the boy at my front door. “You know you don’t have to just stand there. You’ve been here before since we broke up.”

“I know. I just wanted to give you some space while you dealt with whatever plans you and Zach had.” He walked into the house further before adding, “which you didn’t have to do.”

“It’s not a big deal. I told you I would be here for you, whatever you need. Do you want some ice for your hand?” I dug around in the freezer for the tray. He tried to protest but I saw the thinly veiled wince when he flexed it. Sighing, I pulled out the freezer bags and filled one with ice. Monty accepted it begrudgingly.

“I didn’t need ice Reagan.”

“And I don’t need five million dollars Montgomery. If you don’t want it though, I’ll gladly take it back. I’m sure Kerba would love to hear about whatever bullshit reason you give for your hand being fucked again is.” He shut up and kept the ice.

“Think he would believe me if I said it was an exercise accident?”

“No.” I stated, shaking my head. Monty moved into the living room, settling in on the couch. Grabbing the remote with his good hand, he started scrolling through channels.

“You know if you hit the guide button, you can just pick a channel.”

“Yeah, but then you don’t complain about it and I can’t irritate you.”

“And I wasn’t done.” He didn’t respond, so I went into the closet for my mom’s first aid kit. She kept it stocked at all times. It was hard explaining why it was so depleted so frequently when Monty and I were together and even harder to explain why it was full after we broke up.

Walking over to the couch, I sat down and opened the kit. I grabbed some gauze and took his hand in mine. There was too much blood, so I had to go get a cloth. His lip curled when the wet cloth touched his cut knuckles. My brow rose but I didn’t say anything. Monty grimaced as I wrapped his hand. “Is your cheek okay?”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah. You don’t need to feed me too Reagan.”

“Okay.” I let him continue flipping channels, knowing when to not push him. He never was very nice when I was patching him up. He finally settled on some old black and white film. Neither of us watched it. We just spent the night sitting in silence. It gave me plenty of time to think about the fact that I had lied straight through my teeth to my very nice, charming boyfriend.

A couple of weeks after I had patched Monty up, I noticed he wasn’t at school. I was walking to my locker with Alex that morning. Scott was talking to Charlie about something when we passed. “I don’t know where he is, man.”

“But we have a huge government midterm today.”

“It’s Monty. He probably just overslept or decided to cut first period.” I stopped walking unconsciously. Then where is he?

“You’re probably right.” Charlie said, as he adjusted his bag. He bumped into me when he passed. “Sorry Reagan. Guess I didn’t see you there.”

“Huh? No worries Charlie.” I smiled as he took Alex’s hand and nodded to them when they left me in the hall.

“He isn’t at school yet.” Scott said, behind me.

“Okay. I don’t know why you think I care but whatever.”

Scott looked at me seriously. “You care. Might want to look like you care less though. His replacement is coming this way.” I didn’t respond.

By lunch, I had started to worry. Charlie was right. We had a government midterm today. Monty couldn’t miss it. I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of him anywhere. He wasn’t in math this morning either. I couldn’t stop myself from texting him. I know you aren’t this self-destructive. Get your ass to school.

“Hey baby. Who’re you texting?”

“Just Bryce. I loaned him some of my government notes in first so he could cram. I just need them back.” Zach took my hand and we walked to the jocks table. Still no sign of Monty. I didn’t sit down. “Hey Bryce, did you get my text?”

“Uh. No?”

“About my government notes that you borrowed?”

“What-?” I gave him a look. “Oh. Yeah, I put them in my locker. Meant to bring them to lunch but it slipped my mind.”

“Can we go get them? I wanted to read over them during lunch.”

“Sure?”

“Great.” I nodded towards the door. He stood and followed me out.

“So, what the hell was that?”

“Did Monty stay at your place last night?”

“No. It’s probably nothing. You know how he is. Disappears sometimes.” We stopped walking and stepped into an empty hall.

“Yeah. It’s just that he knows this is important. I worry is all. Unlike you, he actually needs to get a scholarship.”

“I need to too Reagan.”

“You don’t. But go ahead and think that if it helps you sleep.” I shook my head and pulled my history notes out of my bag. “We’ve been gone a while. Don’t want anyone getting suspicious.” I texted Monty again while we walked in silence back to the cafeteria. If you aren’t in government I will drive to your house and kick your unfairly shapely ass. You better have a damn good excuse for not being here.

When I got to government for fifth period, I sighed in relief. Monty was sitting in his seat next to mine. “Nice of you to finally show up.” I grumbled as I sat down.

“I was busy.”

“It’s a Wednesday during school. During midterm week no less. What was so important?”

“Kyla got a new piercing a few weeks ago.” He smirked.

“You’re disgusting.”

“What? Have you and Zach still not?” My silence spoke volumes. He snorted. “No wonder you’ve been so bitchy lately. Want me to talk to him? Explain that you have needs?”

“No. I want you to not skip school to fuck your,” I paused, “Kyla. Because you aren’t a dumbass.” Even though I was pissed at him, I still waited for him until he had finished his test. We stopped at his locker so he could drop off his books.

Zach was waiting for me at my locker. We had rescheduled our movie date to today under the guise of making sure my cold was for sure gone and until midterms were complete. “Hey Zachy.” I hugged him and kissed his chest.

“Hey beautiful. How was your midterm?”

“Not bad. I think I did okay.”

“That’s good. How was it actually Monty?”

“Could have been worse. No one cried, which kind of sucks.”

“Good to know.” I put my stuff in my locker, failing miserably at the organization I had at the beginning of the year.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Monty. At eight. When you’re supposed to be at school.”

“Okay. We can go with that. You kids have fun now.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. A blush had started to creep up my neck though. Maybe tonight.

When we got to my place, I left Zach downstairs to go change. I threw on underwear that matched my bra. Just in case. I settled on a pair of yoga pants that framed my ass well and threw on a low-cut comfortable tank top. Back downstairs, Zach was taking a bag of popcorn out of the microwave. I felt his eyes go straight to my butt as he heard me come down. I smirked slightly. I hugged him tightly from behind at the counter. “You’re cute.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You are. My giant teddy bear you. Oh, and there’s a box of Mike & Ike’s in the pantry for you.”

“Thanks.” He grinned.

We scrolled through Netflix for a few minutes. Nothing looked really interesting until we scrolled past Beautiful Creatures. It’s good to make out to. And I like it. Settling in for the night, I rest my head on his lap. I sighed happily as Zach stroked my hair. It was so nice to just have a quiet night in with him. He adjusted his position slightly a while into the movie and I sat up to change positions as well. Falling asleep was not in the plans for this evening. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer against his chest. Leaning back, I rested my head on his shoulder. I placed a few soft kisses on his neck and jaw.

Zach’s breathing picked up when my lips ghosted over a spot just under his chin. There it is. I smiled against it and kissed it again. He sighed and I pulled away to look at him. His pupils were slightly dilated. I leaned in to kiss him. He leaned in and our lips touched. It was soft and gentle at first, but quickly became deeper and more intense. This wasn’t the first time we made out at all. But this time felt different. More meaningful. Maybe it was the right choice to change my underwear. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I was more than happy to accommodate it. His hand made its way around to rest against the back of my neck. My body shifted into a kneeling position on the soft couch, so I had a better angle. One of my hands rested on his chest. The other wound its way around the back of his neck to play with the soft hairs at the top of it. So soft.

Our tongues playfully fought for dominance. Neither of us seemed too keen on winning. We were just enjoying the moment. The movie was still playing in the background, though neither of us cared. My hand traveled down his muscular body as our making out intensified. I played with the hem of his shirt. I wasn’t wanting to take it off. But I also wasn’t not wanting to take it off. My boyfriend has a very nice body. Zach took control and began leaning forward. He continued until my back hit the cushions. After some readjusting, I was laying comfortably with Zach’s large frame above me. I smirked slightly when I felt his pants beginning to tent. He only pulled away long enough to sit up and pull his shirt over his head. Ugh that is the hottest thing any man can do. The blue shirt dropped to the living room floor unceremoniously.

He kissed me once more before moving on to my neck. The initial kisses were light and teasing. He was still trying to draw a map of where all the sensitive spots were. I gasped when he brushed over my pulse point. Zach smiled softly against it. The kisses turned much less light and teasing after that. It was both sides under attack now. It felt so good. I couldn’t stop the quiet whimpers from escaping. I moaned his name and ran my fingers through his hair. Why do men get the super soft hair? God. This feels amazing. “I love you.” He breathed into my neck. My breath caught in my throat. What? It wasn’t like I had never thought I loved him. I did. I was just surprised that he said it first. When I didn’t say it back immediately, his kissing faltered. I didn’t mean to hesitate.

“I love you too.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.

We continued making out for a while until it got too close to my parents getting home. It was a long weekend, so they didn’t care much if he was over late. We were both adults. On weekends, they trusted us to be alone later. Even if alone meant ‘my parents are in their room upstairs or down the hall so shhh’. On school nights, Zach was gone by ten thirty. Even though they trusted us, none of us needed to experience them walking into the house to see their daughter and her boyfriend getting hot and heavy on their couch. Instead, we cozied up on the couch under a blanket and watched a couple more movies. “It’s getting late Reagan. I should head home. Mom will probably send Deputy Standall to come get me soon.”

“Okay.” Zach and I walked to the door and hugged goodbye. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him gently. “I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” He whispered back.

The next morning, I woke up with tiny purple marks on the sides of my neck. He doesn’t usually leave marks. I like it. I wore my hair down so my parents didn’t see them. I may be an adult, but they still preferred I didn’t go around sporting hickeys all the time. Probably part of why they hated Monty so much. My mom felt it was anti-feminist. It was letting a man mark their territory and property. I usually challenged that with her wedding set. Dad just preferred not to think of me as being in a physical relationship. He was aware of it of course. Just preferred not to acknowledge it. Which, I mean, fair.

At school, I couldn’t leave my hair down. It was too hot. I threw it in a high ponytail in history. Zach breathed in sharply when he saw my neck. I turned and smiled at him. “Thank you.” His eyes widened and he coughed to cover a groan. During lunch, I could feel the boys staring at me as they arrived at the table.

“Damn Zach. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Bryce sniggered. I rolled my eyes.

“I did. You finally corrupted him, Reagan?” Justin wiggled his brows at us. I blushed and hid my face in Zach’s chest. I was never this shy about marks with Monty. Maybe that was because no one made comments like that when he did it. Because it was expected. And they knew he would rip their tongues out. I expected Monty to comment. He surprised me when he only quirked a brow. I was less surprised when he pulled me aside before history.

“Don’t let your parents see those. You seem quite attached to him. Wouldn’t want your dad to actually kill him. Maybe you should leave your hair down for a while. Wouldn’t want anyone getting any ideas, would you?”

I was stunned at the unnecessary hostility in his tone. Why the fuck does he care? He didn’t say anything else. I turned as he walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. I still put my hair down though.

Zach and I continued to explore the more physical aspect of our relationship in the coming weeks. Nothing too serious, just some semi-clothed touching. Maybe the rare under clothes touches. Only enough to tease. Never enough to lead anywhere. I was both grateful and frustrated by it. He didn’t leave anymore marks on me either. He could tell I was uncomfortable with his friend’s comments and wanted to avoid it as much as possible. We had agreed to wait until we were both ready. Neither of us were virgins. But it was still new. It did leave me with plenty of time to wonder what it would be like though.

When I wasn’t thinking about all the dirty things Zach and I could get up to, or Zach in general, or Monty, I occupied my time with college applications. My top choice had been UNC Chapel Hill for many years. Even before I knew what I wanted to study. I worked hard in school because of it. There were other schools I would like to go to, but none compared to UNC in my mind. I remembered when Monty and I had talked about what we wanted to do after high school, and he looked amazed but slightly skeptical at my goal. I knew he didn’t mean anything bad by it. We both knew how big of a goal I was. Zach had a different look on his face. He looked at me with complete faith that it would happen. It wasn’t even a question to him. He didn’t verbalize the thought, but I could see it in his eyes. I just hoped he was right.

Admissions emails were due to go out any day now. I both couldn’t wait and absolutely dreaded it. I had applied to seven schools. Statistically speaking, I had to get into at least one of them. I just wasn’t sure which one. Zach tried his best to reassure me that everything would work out. Our friends agreed with him. Monty also tried to reassure me. And keep my mind off of it with his incessant flirting. It was nice. I had a constant I could focus on. Monty flirting with me, as strange as it sounded, was keeping me calm. Zach tried his best to keep my mind occupied. We talked about anything but schools unless we needed to. It was sweet.  I just wasn’t sure it was helping much.

The pring of an email notification on my phone pulled my attention away from the textbook I was reading. I quickly grabbed my laptop and logged on. Pulling up Gmail, I held my breath. It could be any email. An email titled University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Office of Registrar Admissions Decision sat at the top of my inbox in bold letters. This is it. Holy crap. I was shaking so hard I opened the wrong email first.

Back on my inbox page, I took a very deep breath and opened the email. Dear Miss Reagan Taylor, thank you for your application to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted for admission at this time. I couldn’t read any further. There was more information, I just couldn’t bring myself to read any of it. My eyes had begun to fill with tears. I didn’t get in. I worked so hard. And I still didn’t get in. Numbly, I moved the computer off my lap and grabbed my phone. Unconsciously, I selected a contact and put it to my ear as I felt myself beginning to dissociate.

“Hello?”

“Hi. A-are you busy right now?”

“I don’t have to be. What’s wrong?”

“C-can you come here? Please?”

“I’ll be right there.”

I numbly walked out of my room and went to unlock the front door. In my room, I sat in the center of my bed and hugged my knees. Willing the tears to remain at bay, I screwed my eyes shut. That didn’t do much to help, because all I saw was a string of the words not been accepted running over and over again.

A knock on my bedroom door caused me to look up. I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed. He was standing in my doorway with his hands tucked in his pockets. “I didn’t get in.” I said softly. My voice cracked. His long stride had him at my bedside and sitting down within only a few steps. He pulled me close to him and I cried into his shoulder. He laid us back and he held me as I cried. I felt so vulnerable as we laid there silently.

It must have been at least an hour before we moved. It had started getting dark outside. “Thank you, Monty.”

“You needed me.”

“I know. I just,” I paused, “thank you.”

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I walked him to the door and went to take a shower. When I got out, I saw that Zach had texted me. I love you and I hope you’re having a good day. I sighed to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to find the energy to text him back. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next day, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Zach’s t-shirts. I was too upset about the email to really care about looking nice. I met Zach at his car in the parking lot. He had a cup of hot chocolate for me and had his adorable happy grin plastered across his face. “Morning beautiful.” I took the to go cup gratefully.

“Morning.” He put his arm around me as we walked, and I leaned against his large frame.

“How was your night?”

“It was okay. Yours?”

“It was alright. Anything exciting happen?” Exciting is not the word I would use.

“Uh, no. Not really.” We had reached my locker. I opened it and dug around for my stuff.

“Hey, Reagan.” Luke called from across the hall. I lifted my arm and waved at him without turning around.

“What’s up Luke?” I asked when he was at my locker. Some of the football team was with him, including Monty.

“You know, it goes. I heard back from UNC yesterday. Did you?”

“Uh.” I cleared my throat and tried to will away more tears. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath Monty made. “I uh… Yeah. I didn’t get in.” I muttered. There was confused murmuring all around me. The only one who didn’t say anything was Monty. I didn’t have to look up to see that Zach was glaring daggers at him.

“How did they not accept you?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know Char. It was a long shot anyway. Their acceptance rate is twenty three percent total. It’s even less for out of state applicants. Applicants who aren’t being given sports scholarships anyway. No offence Luke.”

“None taken. I’m sorry Reagan.”

“It’s okay. I applied to other schools.” I cleared my throat again. “I have to get to class.

“I’ll walk you.” Zach said. I nodded and took his hand in mine.

We stopped on the way when he pulled me aside into an empty classroom. “You didn’t mention that you heard back from UNC.”

“I know. I just… I needed some time to process. Can we talk about this later? I have a reading due at the beginning of class.”

“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Of course.” I kissed him on the cheek. I sat through my classes in an almost daze. Monty sent me a couple of texts that made me smile. Zach also sent a couple of goofy pictures to try and cheer me up. My smile didn’t quite meet my eyes as much. I attributed it to being upset about the admission decision.

I met Zach at the doors to the cafeteria and he hugged me. I smiled sadly into his chest. I picked at my lunch silently. I could feel Monty and Zach’s eyes on me. They were watching both me and each other. No one else picked up on the tension. “Did you want to come over after school Zach? My parents are at work.”

“That works. I’ll let my mom know we are studying after school.”

“Studying each other?” Justin smirked. I rolled my eyes. Zach threw a piece of cheese at him.

“Fuck off.”

“Why do you throw food at each other?”

“It’s fun.” They shrugged.

“Alright then. I have a free period so I’m going to finish a project. I’ll see you guys later.” I leaned over and kissed Zach.

A few minutes after I sat down and pulled up my assignment, someone sat next to me. “So. You didn’t tell Zach?”

“No Monty.” I didn’t look up from my computer.

“You didn’t tell him you called me either, did you?”

“No. But I’m sure it will come up tonight when we talk.”

“You’ll let me know if everything is okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I have class so I’ll text you hot stuff.”

“You better.” I smirked.

Zach and I met each other at my place. My parents were at work and I think both of us knew this was going to become a fight, so I wasn’t surprised when he agreed to come over at lunch without a thought.. We danced around each other in silence. Neither of us knew how to react to the tension between us. With Montgomery it was easy. He would be in a mood or I would be upset about something, we would yell at each other for a while, and then… then it was fixed. I had never fought with Zach before.

“Why didn’t you tell me about UNC?”

“I told you. I needed time to process. To think. That was my top choice Zach. My plans literally changed overnight. That takes time to think through.”

“But I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to help you with that stuff. To be there for you.”

“I know. But I need to take time to process before I can deal, okay?”

“Right. Time to process. That’s why Monty knew?”

“How do you know he knew?”

“His reaction this morning. Plus, I heard him talking to Scott and Luke about it in class.”

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you, or are you mad I told Monty?”

“Both.”

“I don’t know why I told him okay?”

“No Reagan. Not okay.”

“I didn’t do it intentionally Zach. I just… dialed. I wasn’t even looking at my phone.”

“Is that supposed to make this better? That your instinct was to call your ex-boyfriend and not me?”

“No. I’m saying that I wasn’t even thinking clearly. All I knew was that in an instant my entire future was fading before my eyes.”

“So, you called Monty.”

“Yes Zach. I called him. I called him and he came. He dropped everything and he came to me.”

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“What. Happened. Reagan?”

“Nothing. I just cried. And cried. And then he left. I was upset.”

“Why couldn’t you call me?”

“Oh my god, Zach. I wasn’t thinking. I can’t explain to you why I called him and not you. I just picked a contact without looking and it was his.”

“Do you still love him?” His question caught me off guard. Do I?

“No.” My voice sounded sure. My brain and heart didn’t believe me. Hopefully Zach would.

“You don’t. Why do you still flirt with him?”

“I don’t love him. As for the flirting, that’s just how we talk to each other. We’ve always done it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Noted.”  

Zach scoffed. “You flirt with your ex in front of me.”

“I don’t mean anything by it.”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you not think it’s weird that you’re still super close to your ex?”

“Not really, no. He is my friend. You can be friends with an ex, you know.”

“Most people can’t, actually.”

“So what? You’re mad that I’m friends with Monty?”

“I’m not mad Reagan. It’s just a lot to deal with.”

“Why?”

“Do you know how it feels to learn stuff about you, because your ex is talking about it? Or because you two are joking about something?”

“No. I guess I never really thought about it like that. It’s not that weird to us. But it does make sense.” I sat down on my couch. My adrenaline was leveling out again and I felt like an asshole.

“It doesn’t feel good.” He sat down next to me.

“I’m sorry Zach. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“I know.”

“I’ll talk to Monty about it. Tell him we need to stop the flirting and stuff.” Zach took my hand gently.

“Okay.” I rested my head on his shoulder and he pulled me into his lap. I was shocked that a fight had been resolved that easily and cleanly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Monty and I met at the docks to talk after Zach and I fought. “Hey.”

“Hey sweetheart.” I grimaced slightly.

“Zach and I talked.”

“Okay. How did it go?”

“He was pretty ticked off that you knew about UNC before he knew. And that you came over instead of him.”

“But I’m your friend.”

“And he is my boyfriend. Also, for the record, you aren’t just my friend Monty. You’re my ex.”

“So?”

“So, you aren’t just my friend.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because. The way you talk to me, it’s like we never broke up. You’re the one who said you wanted to break up. That you weren’t ready for a serious relationship. Or any relationship for that matter.”

“Is it you, or Zach that has a problem with it?” My silence spoke volumes. “I see. Well, you go tell your boyfriend that we talked.”

“Monty. I do feel bad about it. It’s not fair to Zach to have to deal with you flirting with me and making moves all the time.”

“You know, if I believed that you felt bad, or that you were honestly asking me to stop, I would. But I know you. I know this isn’t coming from you.”

“Montgomery. You need to stop. I’m asking you to stop.”

“Fine. I’ll cool it.”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask. Still friends?”

“Of course, Rea.” He hugged me tightly. I felt like I would let tight hugs slide because I liked them. We walked to our cars together quietly. I didn’t want to have to go or have things change, but I knew that if I wanted to stay with Zach, they would have to.

Monty was true to his word for all of three days. We were still friendly. The flirting had stopped though. There was still a buzz in the air when we interacted. It was easier to ignore now. At least, I thought it had stopped. I was painting my finger and toenails in the bathroom on Saturday night. It was my weekly self-care night. My phone rang before I could decide on a face mask to do while my nails dried. I smiled but rolled my eyes a bit when I saw who was calling. “Hi Monty.” I tried to sound annoyed but couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice.

“Hey Reagan.” He slurred slightly. I could hear the sound of boys falling and goofing off in the background. Bryce is having a thing, I guess.

“What’s up Buddy?”

“Jus’ guys night.”

“You don’t say.”

“You sound relaxed.”

“And you sound mighty drunk. It’s Saturday.”

“Right. Right. Girly night.” He chuckled.

“Yes. Is there a reason you called?”

“Wanted to say hi.”

“Oh.” I thought we had talked about this.

“I miss you.” He slurred. Oh boy.

“Uh. Miss you too.” I grimaced. He was drunk so I wasn’t going to just pretend I hadn’t heard him. Montgomery wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

“I’m an idiot.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“I am. I let you go.”

“Monty….”

“I love you.” My eyes widened. No. I felt the corners of my eyes begin to fill with tears. Looking up, I blinked them away. I didn’t know what to say.

“I-.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Monty.” I whispered. Why is this happening? We talked about this. At least he won’t remember this tomorrow. But I can’t just act like it didn’t happen.

“Buddy, get off the phone and come play.” Garrison called in the background.

“Gotta go.” Monty said before hanging up. What the actual fuck just happened?

I didn’t text Monty or Zach all day Sunday. I didn’t actually talk to or text anyone aside from my parents. I woke up on Monday dreading school. I just laid in bed and stared at my ceiling. I would see Zach and have to act like that phone call didn’t happen. And that Montgomery hadn’t said what he said. I would also see him. I don’t know if I can do that. He’s your friend. He was wasted when he called you. He won’t remember it. Taking a deep breath, I threw off the covers and got up. I stopped for a coffee on my way to school to try to calm my nerves, even though I was more of a tea person.

I walked into the school and as luck would have it, the first person I saw, was Montgomery freaking De la Cruz. Thank you, Universe. Instantly, I turned on my heel and walked out of the building before he could see me. Books weren’t important now. I had to avoid him. I power walked to the nearest exit and stopped by a large tree. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath and contemplated ditching school. That wasn’t going to be possible. Because the universe decided to say fuck Reagan today. Zach was walking towards me from the parking lot. He waved. I pretended I hadn’t seen it and ignored him. He stopped when he got to my tree. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Hey. Yeah. I’m okay.”

“You’re breathing kind of heavy. And leaning against a tree.”

“I’m fine Zach.”

“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. Before he could say anything more, I picked up my bag and brushed past him. I took the long way around to the back of the building to physics. I slumped in my seat and doodled through the whole class. I was doing well enough that the teacher wasn’t going to call on me.

I spent the next week avoiding Monty. I didn’t answer his texts. I took different routes to class. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t exist anymore. Except for the near constant string of text messages that I was getting from him. And his confession running over in my head any time I had a free moment to think. Why did he have to do that? I was getting on just fine. Zach and I were in a good place again. We agreed that we would just be friends. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I was also distant with Zach. I felt awful about it. You love him. He can say it to you sober. He loves you. If he saw me in the halls, he would come over and I would let him walk me to class. We would hold hands. My grip wasn’t as tight as usual. He would put his arm around me. I wouldn’t lean against him. I think he could tell something was off. Being Zach, he wouldn’t bring it up though. Since I was avoiding my two favourite jocks, I couldn’t exactly sit with Zach at lunch. I sat with Jess and Alex instead. Without Zach. They exchanged looks the first day but said nothing.

I went to the baseball game after school to support Zach. And to make it seem like nothing was wrong between him and I or Monty and I. I didn’t want people asking too many questions. Questions I didn’t want to answer. Monty’s drunken declaration had brought up feelings I had spent the better part of a year and a half, trying to bury. I was the one that wanted more from him. I was the one who needed more. When it was clear I wasn’t going to get more, I settled. And then when we broke up, I was comfortable in the fact that even though I loved him and I felt like he loved me, it would go unsaid and we could just be friends. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that was why we were so close and flirted with each other. While I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I still did love him. Even though I told Zach I wasn’t. Liar. You are still hopelessly in love with him. Maybe. But I can’t have him the way I want. And I love Zach. I just haven’t decided if I’m in love with him yet.

After the game, I waited to say bye to Zach and congratulate him on the win. “Congratulations 16. You won.” I smiled as he walked up to me. I was waiting at the bottom of the bleachers.

“Of course, we did. I had my biggest cheerleader in the stands.” He grinned. I couldn’t help but melt. Pushing away any and all thoughts of Montgomery’s phone call, I threw my arms around his neck and let him scoop me up into his arms as we kissed. My legs wrapped around his waist and his hands held my thighs.

“Get a room.” Bryce called out to us as he passed with some of the guys. The jocks cheered and whistled. I flipped them off and pulled away from the kiss.

“Two things. One, you don’t have girlfriends because you whistle at girls. We aren’t dogs. Two, fuck off.” I called back.

“I have a girlfriend.” Anders yelled.

“I know. She’s awesome. That’s two of twenty. Now shut up and leave us be assholes.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Zach let out a loud laugh when they walked away. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah. It kind of was. Sadly, I have to go work on a project. Walk me to my car?” I said as I jumped out down.

“Lead the way.”

I was working on my project when Monty called me. I sent it straight to voicemail. He called again. I let it ring out. He called back. This man just doesn’t quit. Again, I let it ring. He called a fourth time. Jesus. I answered it on the second to last ring. “What?”

“Woah. Who pissed in your tea today?”

“You called me four times in a row. What do you want Montgomery?”

“Well, I was calling to see why you have been ignoring me. But now I’m going to ask why you’re being such a bitch?”

“I’m busy. And you called me four times in a row.”

“Busy with what?”

“A project.”

“Okay. I’ll keep this quick then. Since a project is apparently more important than your best friend.” I didn’t respond. “Why have you been avoiding me, Reagan?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Bull. I haven’t seen or heard from you in almost a week. Are you mad at me or something?”

“No. I’ve been busy.”

“With Zach?”

“No. With stuff. I have a life outside of Zach Dempsey and you, you know.”

“Stuff. Okay. What stuff?”

“School stuff. Trying to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Stuff.”

“Alright. I don’t believe you though. Did I do something wrong?” Yes. You did. Something very wrong. That you apparently can’t even remember. Meaning you didn’t have to just be drunk to say it. You had to be wasted.

“No. I’ve just been busy.” I sighed.

“We’re okay?”

“Yes Monty. We’re okay.”

“Okay good. Did you want to do lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Great. Rosie’s at one?”

“I’ll be there.” I threw my phone on my bed when I hung up. This man is infuriating. Why can’t I say no to him?

To no one’s surprise, Monty didn’t stop flirting with me. He made comments about my outfits or little things that he knew about me. It had finally driven Kyla away. I feared that Zach would be the next person he drove away. I didn’t fall into his trap anymore and let him bait me into flirting with him again. He tried hard. But I didn’t want to go back on my word to Zach. I couldn’t control what Monty did. But I could control how I reacted. So, any time Monty flirted with me, I ignored it. I pushed down the little flutter in my stomach and blush that threatened to creep up my neck. Zach would roll his eyes and smirk if he was around to watch the spectacle that had become Monty and my interactions. We both figured he would grow tired of not getting a response and quit eventually. I have no idea why. Montgomery De la Cruz never was one to back down from a challenge.

As the school year started heading towards its close, the big senior trip was coming up. Every year, the school sent the senior class on a trip. It was supposed to be educational and technically was fair game on any exams except our government finals when we got back. But really, it was to let us blow off some steam and get us into a different environment, so we were less likely to do a Senior Skip Day or senior prank. The only teachers who tested on it were the hard asses. This year we would be going to DC to “learn about the government and how our nation’s democracy runs.”

The senior class was abuzz with excitement about our trip to DC. It was fully paid for by the school due to it being a mandatory trip, aside from the few thousand we needed to fundraise for. It wasn’t cheer camp so people were more willing to donate for a bake sale, over Dollar Valentines. Typically, everyone shared rooms at the hotel. This year however, there was an uneven number of girls in the class. Meaning that one lucky girl, would get a whole room to herself for the week. To make it a fair draw, every grade twelve girl’s name was put into a raffle. A random teacher from the neighbouring school then pulled a name from the bunch, to keep it impartial. An email would be sent out to every girl, letting her know if she was picked.

I held my phone tightly all day on draw day. It was a week out from the day we were leaving. We weren’t told when the email would go out. Only that we would know by tonight. I hope it’s me. At dinner, my phone pringed. I shot up like I had been bitten.

“Reagan. You know the rules. No phones at dinner.” My mom scolded.

“But Mom. It’s draw day for the single room. I need to go check. Please? Thirty seconds. Promise.”

“Okay. Go check.” She waved me off. I ran to the counter and grabbed my phone. Opening the email, I read it intently. Reagan Taylor- Single room. I screeched in excitement.

“I got the single room! I got the single!”

“That’s wonderful honey. Now come finish your broccoli.” I quickly texted Zach. I got it. :) He replied while I was finishing dinner. That’s great. :)

I texted Monty after dinner as well. I got the single room. He replied while I was getting ready for bed.

Excellent. What better place for you and Dempsey to screw each other silly? Can’t wait to hear all the details.

You are such a creep.

You like it.

The Friday before we left, Zach came over after school to help me pack. My parents were having date night, so it was just the two of us for the foreseeable future. Ever the gentleman, he helped me carry my suitcase up from the storage room. The rose gold hard case set was laid out on my floor. I put Zach in charge of folding my clothes, since he was the self-proclaimed “master packer”. He pouted slightly when I said he couldn’t fold my underwear. I managed to sneak in a few more sexy sets as well. We would be gone for a week. A lot can happen in six nights.

“Do you like this shirt?” I asked him.

“It’s nice.”

“I could wear it to the Capital.”

“Yeah. Or dinner.”

“There’s going to be dinner, hmmm?”

He walked towards me and took the shirt from my hands. “There might be. There also might be a lot more than dinner.” Zach wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh really?”

“Mhmm. If you want more than dinner.”

“I do have a single room.”

“That you do. Bring the shirt.”

“Okay.” I felt a blush creeping all the way up to my ears.

After some more packing, we took a break. A very nice break. We were laying on my bed. The suitcase was still open in the corner of my room. Zach shifted so he was resting his head in his hand on his elbow. I looked up at him and grinned. He grinned back. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zach smiled into the kiss and moved to climb on top of me. He straddled my waist so that I was on my back again. The more he kissed me, the more I wanted this to go further.

My hands left his neck and went to pull on his shirt. I was trying to pull it off without breaking our kiss. When it was halfway up his torso, he pulled away from the kiss and pulled the cotton over his head. I smiled demurely at him. He began kissing me again and our tongues did their playful dance. I moaned softly when he kissed my neck. He didn’t suck hard enough to leave any marks. I sat up to take off my shirt when he pulled it up my stomach. He kissed me once again and I carded my fingers through his hair. My breathing started to get heavier as his Zach’s hands explored my body. My hips bucked lightly. He unzipped my jeans and I wiggled them off. They were pushed to the end of the bed along with our shirts. I struggled with his belt a little. I wasn’t used to it yet. It still felt foreign under my fingers. Finally, I had removed it. I unzipped his jeans and Zach kicked them off. He moved his kisses down my chest, brushing over the top of my bra. I sighed. My hands moved to his to the front of his torso and I ran my fingers up and down his chest. The skin was smooth, but I felt goosebumps form where I touched. We were still in our underwear. This feel so… nice. Nice is good. So why does it feel like I have no clue what I’m doing?

We made out passionately. Our exploration of each other’s bodies continued. There was light teasing and nipping at spots. It felt good. Zach unhooked my bra and I pulled it off. It landed at the end of the bed with our other clothes. I gasped when he grew bolder and sucked a pebbling nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked it a few times and I moaned his name. He used his other hand to roll and tease my other nipple. My hips couldn’t be stopped from bucking. I wanted more. I reached for his boxers. I was only able to brush his V-line. He pulled away from me.

“Did you want something?” He asked cheekily.

“Mhmm.” I moaned and reached for him again. My eyes were trained on the bulge in his boxers. They widened as he pulled them off and his cock sprang out. Reaching out, I grasped it in my hand. It felt hot and heavy. He moaned softly when I began stroking.

To make things easier and more comfortable, he rolled over so he was on his back. I sat up some and watched his face. Zach’s eyes were closed, and his brow was furrowed. He looked relaxed. I leaned down and kissed him. His fingers tangled into my hair as he deepened the kiss. My strokes became more confident and picked up speed. The quiet moans and grunts he was emitting were very encouraging. Soon enough, his hips were bucking. He sat up to stop me. I looked at him with dark eyes. He smiled at me and sat up, pushing me down on the soft mattress. Zach was gazing at me with the most kind and loving expression I had ever seen. My heart swelled.

I couldn’t wait any longer and reached to pull down my underwear. Zach pulled them down my legs and threw them towards the end of my bed. I got comfortable as he reached out for me. His fingers quickly found my core, and then my clit. My breath hitched when he rubbed it. He was gentle. I silently thanked him for that. Gathering some lubrication, he spent a little while trying different gestures and patterns as he ran his fingers through my core. There was some back-and-forth movement, as well as some up and down. It felt good but it wasn’t quite it. He tried circles and I moaned his name loudly. “That’s it. Do that. Do more of that.” My hips twisted. He leaned down to kiss me again while he rubbed me. Zach continued to rub my clit softly in circular motions. I moaned lowly as a finger entered me. It was slow and calculated. He continued to stimulate me for a few minutes, varying the speed and intensity of both his rubbing and thrusting. My hips wiggled in an attempt to get more stimulation.

Deciding I was aroused enough, he pulled away and looked at me questioningly. “There is a new box of condoms in my sock drawer.” He nodded and stood to grab one. Once the condom was properly and securely in place, he climbed back on top of me. I felt dwarfed by his large frame. He rubbed my clit and fingered me a few more times, before I felt his cock brush against my folds. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for him to enter me. I was expecting something quick. Like ripping off the band aid. Instead, he slowly pushed his way into my body. I groaned and my head rolled to the side. His breath hitched when he bottomed out.

“Shit.” He cursed in my ear.

After a few beats, he began to slowly thrust. I tried to match his slow, sweet pace. It just felt so different. Nice. Good. But still different. Zach started kissing up and down my neck again. I smiled and eventually, was able to match his thrusts. They began speeding up slightly and he intertwined his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hands. I closed my eyes when he kissed me. It almost felt like there was something missing. While I was trying to focus on the sensations coursing through my body, I realized that we weren’t just having sex. We were making love. I froze slightly but covered it by tensing up a little. I could feel my orgasm approaching anyway. I could tell it would be different than normal. I was both excited and a little scared.

As though Zach could sense my thoughts, he kissed me deeply and murmured against my lips, “let go.” His thrusts picked up speed and my hips stilled. I felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten and I clutched his shoulders. I moaned loudly as I felt the knot snap. My orgasm was different than it had been in the past. It was good, but it was less intense. There was no convulsing or extreme contortion. He continued to thrust, pulling me through my orgasm. My muscles relaxed and I slumped for a second. I could tell Zach’s high was in his reach. I began whispering dirty nothings in his ear and telling him that I loved him to try to get him to finish. I kissed his neck and nibbled softly. His thrusting became sloppy and he groaned loudly as he peaked.

With a laboured grunt, Zach rolled off of me and pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes for a second. Then I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. I rolled over and sat up slowly. When I returned to bed, Zach had discarded the condom and put on his boxers. I pulled his shirt on, along with a clean pair of underwear. Curling up in his arms, I rested my eyes for a while. “I love you.” I whispered as I drifted off.

“I love you too.” We woke up an hour later and finished packing, sneaking coy glances at each other.

Tuesday morning started unfairly early. We had to be at the airport by eight for our flight at ten. My alarm went off at five thirty. I protested as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom to shower. I didn’t need to look super cute, but I at least wanted to smell good. It was a five-hour flight. I double checked that I had everything packed while my hair towel dried. My dad knocked on my door and I grunted at him. The shower had done little to wake me up. “Morning Kiddo. I’m just going to take your suitcase downstairs.”

“K.” I muttered.

Downstairs after I got dressed, I poured myself a very large cup of coffee. I didn’t really like sleeping on planes. Plus, I could get a tea after we got through security. My mom had offered to drive Zach and I to the airport, so I called him to make sure he was up. “Good morning Baby.”

“Good morning babe.” He sighed on the other end of the line.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Jut tired.”

“Me too. Mom just wanted to make sure you were up.”

“I am. Stuff is by the door and everything.”

“Oh good. See you in half an hour?”

“Okay. See you then. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hung up and texted Monty to make sure he was up. Get up loser, we’re going to DC.

I’m up. And it’s too early for bending Mean Girls quotes.

It’s never too early. He replied with an eye roll emoji. I shook my head and didn’t answer.

“Reagan, are you ready to go?” My mom asked.

“Yeah.” I grabbed my backpack and rolled my suitcase out to the car. Dad lifted it into the back and checked that mom and I were securely buckled. Have to make sure my girls are safe. He had said when I asked him about doing that when I was younger. I still didn’t let him see the way I smiled about it.

Zach was waiting on his front steps for us. It was still early and May was still asleep. He waved and mom opened the back hatch for him. I looked in the rear view mirror and smirked at the way his muscles bulged when he lifted his suitcase into the car. He kissed me when he got in and greeted my mom. “Thanks for the ride Mrs. Taylor.”

“Of course, Zach.” She smiled at him from the driver’s seat. Once we got onto the highway, traffic was fairly light. It was still pretty early so we beat most of the commuters. It grew heavier as we got closer to the airport. None of us were surprised. Especially given that an entire high school senior class was descending upon it.

Mom parked in the drop off zone for the airline. Zach got out and walked around the car to open my door. He hugged me tightly as I stepped out. I breathed in the fresh scent of his cologne. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I looked up at him and grinned. Throwing on my backpack, I grabbed Zach’s while he got our suitcases. Inside, we met up with our friends. Clay was basically dragging Justin through the airport. Alex and Charlie both looked very awake for seven forty-five in the morning. Must be nice. I nodded at Monty and Scott from across the room. They were talking to Bryce and Luke.

Getting our tickets and going through security went shockingly well. Since we had so much time to kill, the teachers let us roam the gate freely. We had to swear left and right we would be on the plane. I abandoned Zach with Justin and Alex to go in search of a piping hot cup of tea. “Reagan.” Monty said as he approached me.

“Morning Monty. It’s tea time.”

“I need coffee. I’ll go with you.” We walked through the gate silently. I could feel his eyes on me. He was trying way too hard to seem like he wasn’t

staring at me.

“Can I help you?”

“There’s something different about you.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“You seem… less tense.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He stopped for a minute. “Wait. Did you two finally?” I blushed. “You did. Was it good?”

“Yeah.” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. It was good.

“Yeah? Better than us?” I turned to him, perplexed.

“Is that trick question? How do you want me to answer that?”

“Is that a no?” He smirked.

“No. It’s not an answer. Because it’s none of your business.”

“Alright, don’t tell me.”

Tea and coffee in hand, we walked back to the gate to sit until our plane boarded. The minutes ticked by. Zach was watching YouTube videos on his phone. I peeked over my book at him. He looked up and smiled. I felt eyes on us and turned to Monty. He was smirking at Zach. I rolled my eyes, mouthed piss off to him, and went back to my book. The flight to DC was pretty boring. I was able to sit with Zach and we watched a movie for the first half of it. Afterwards, I listened to some music and read while he slept.

We spent the first night in DC relaxing after a long flight. I enjoyed having a single room. It was quiet and I didn’t have to argue with anyone about what bed I would get. Jess came to do a face mask and have some girl time. It was nice. “So, tell me. What’s new with you and Zach.”

“There’s not much to tell.” I fibbed. She saw right through me.

“Oh, come on Reagan. There is totally something to spill.”

“We finally had sex.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?” I hesitated. “Girl talk.” She smiled at me and I knew none of what I said would get back to Zach.

“It was nice.”

“And?”

“Good.”

“Nice and good?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?”

“I don’t know Jessica. It was nice.”

“But it’s supposed to be more than nice.”

“I know. And it wasn’t bad. It was just….”

“No. Don’t even think that. We cleansed. Remember?”

“Okay Ryan Shaver.” I laughed.

“Still.”

“I know. It was just different is all.”

“I get that.” She sighed wistfully. I tried to scrub the mental image of Jessica and Justin going at it like jack rabbits. Ew. No no. Bad.

We toured the Smithsonian on Wednesday and went to the Capital on Thursday to see Congress. I stuck close to Zach the whole time. Monty continued his flirting. It was as though he really had no idea what he had said to me last month on the phone. I did my best to ignore it. But it was starting to get on my nerves. I could tell Zach was growing frustrated as well. While it got on my nerves, I was having a harder and harder time ignoring the butterflies in my stomach when Montgomery tried to charm his way to me. He could tell. I just hoped Zach couldn’t. Our interactions had been tense since last month.

Tensions between me and Monty come to a head in DC. It was Friday night, three days into our weeklong trip. I was coming back from an evening coffee run with Zach and Justin. Monty was milling about with Bryce and Luke outside. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest when I saw them. Monty caught my eye and subtly nodded at me. No one in either of our groups noticed. I pulled out my phone and texted him. My room. 10 mins. He waited until we were inside the hotel to read my message. There was no response. I assumed he got the message and made to excuse myself to my room. “That was really great guys. I’m actually pretty tired and I still have to fill in my trip journal for the day. I think I’m going to head up to my room.”

“Okay, night Reagan.” Justin nodded. He seemed slightly suspicious. I chalked it up to him having his own experience with bullshit excuses.

“Do you want me to walk you up?” Zach asked.

“No, don’t worry. You hang out with Justin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alright. Text me when you get upstairs. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I kissed him softly.

Upstairs, I threw my backpack on the unoccupied bed and threw my hair up. Since I would be getting ready for bed soon anyway, I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas while I waited for Montgomery. I was putting my toiletries back in my suitcase when he knocked on my door sharply. He was standing on the other side of the door, his hands once again buried in his pockets when I opened it. “You rang.”

“Hi.” I moved out of the doorway and let him in.

“What did you want to talk about Reagan?”

“No one saw you come up here, did they?”

“No. they didn’t. Is that what you’re worried about? Someone knowing that I’m in your room?”

“Of course not. Its just….”

“Zach. You can say his name. I’m a big boy.”

“I told Zach that he didn’t have to worry about you and I.” Monty scoffed, bitterly.

“Yeah. Nothing to worry about with us. Sure.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“If I was in his place, I would worry too.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Montgomery?”

“Last month, you told me that we aren’t just friends. And you weren’t wrong. Because people who are just friends don’t look for each other in crowds. Or stop when other people are talking about them. The thing you forgot to mention is how unfair you were being to both of us.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen it. And if I’ve seen it, so has Zach. He isn’t that oblivious.”

“Zach has a problem with our friendship.”

“Oh, so now you admit it. Least I got that out of you. Only took a month.”

“It makes him uncomfortable that we are so close. And I feel bad about it. I told you that already.”

“If you expect me to believe you care so much about how our friendship affects your boyfriend, then why did you call me about UNC as soon as you found out and not him? Why did you lie and cancel plans with him to spend time with me? Why is it that until a month ago, you flirted with just as much intensity as I did? Why did-.” I opened my mouth to stop him. “No. You don’t get to talk right now Reagan. It’s my turn to talk.” I closed my mouth and looked down. I was stunned and a little bit scared. He had never yelled at me like that before. “Why did you ask me to come get you when you got too drunk at a party on a college visit and not him? Even after you told me things had to change? Because I would love to hear you explain that.”

I was silent. I knew I couldn’t deny any of what he had said. We weren’t just friends. We didn’t know how to be friends. Or we never wanted to be. “Well?”

“I… you weren’t being fair to me either Monty. I’m not the only one at fault here. I wouldn’t have had to cancel on Zach if you hadn’t shown up to my house unannounced needing first aid. Again. You’re the one who started it with the flirting. As soon as you saw that I was moving on and could be happy with someone else, you fucking start flirting with me and talking to me like you had never stopped. Like you hadn’t broken my heart that day. And maybe I let it go on too long. Maybe I shouldn’t have reciprocated the flirting. But it made me feel good. And it was fun. Until it started having an impact on my actual relationship. With someone who is able to admit that he loves me. You want to stand here and talk to me about looking for someone in a crowd or stopping when people talk about them? What about when you drunk dialed me telling me that you love me? What about how anytime we are alone together you waste time leaving just so you don’t have to go? I’m not the only one at fault here. I asked you to stop flirting with me and you didn’t.”

“Is that phone call what did it?”

“I’m with someone who doesn’t have to be drunk to tell me that he loves me. And no. The call didn’t do anything. But it’s nice to know you remember it.”

“You want me to say it? I’m completely sober. You really want to hear me say it?”

“Yes.” I said loudly, exasperated.

“Easy. I love you.”

We were silent for a minute, finally aware of the tension in the air. I made the first move and kissed him. It was chaste at first. I was giving him a chance to take it back. When he didn’t pull away or stop it, I deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and placed me on the bed. His hands trailed down my body and played with the hem of my shirt. He sat on the bed beside me and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his waist and sat in his lap, slipping my hands under his t-shirt. When I traced his abs, he sucked in a breath. Everything with him felt so natural. So easy. I slipped my hands out from his shirt and pulled away from our kiss. He looked puzzled until I pulled off my shirt. I nodded at him and he pulled off his flannel. Next to go was his t-shirt. His pupils were blown. He was staring at me, not with hunger like I had expected, but in awe and admiration.

I kissed him again, but I quickly pulled away. I kissed down his neck, searching for the pulse point. We fell backwards in a mess of limbs and kisses on the plush hotel bed. His hands were on my hips instantly to steady me. I had found his pulse point and sucked at it harshly. There was sure to be a mark within the hour. I could feel him pulling at the waistband of my pyjama pants. “Yes.” I whispered in his ear. Monty pulled my bottoms down and off quickly. My underwear was still on and he snapped the waistband cheekily. “Bastard.” I said against his neck.

“You love it.” He moaned loudly when I bit his neck in response. I had to cover his mouth.

“Shhh. People could hear.”

“Screw people.”

With that, he flipped us over, so he was on top now. My hands went for his belt and I deftly undid it. My muscles still remembered the movements. The sound of the clinking metal as the hook hit the buckle. The way I had to tug a little harder to get it to come out of the loops because it stuck on the back one. Soon enough, his belt and jeans were strewn across the room along with the rest of our clothes. It was his turn to kiss me. He dragged his teeth against my bottom lip, pulling it slightly. I moaned lowly. His kisses traveled down my neck quickly. He always did prefer to leave marks on my collarbones and breasts. My neck was still fair game to him and he often left at least one mark on it at any given time. Just like he had so many times before so long ago, he left a clear bite mark on my décolleté. His attention was turned to my breasts then. He deftly unhooked my bra and pulled it off. It joined the ever-growing pile of clothes flung across the room.

The marks he left on my breasts were small in comparison to the one I had left on his neck. He is probably trying to hide them. I too, moaned loudly when he nipped my skin. He covered my mouth like I had done to him only moments before. The difference was that I grabbed his wrist in my hands like I was trying to hold onto him for dear life. I heard him chuckle and felt the stupid smirk against my chest. “Shhh. People could hear.” He mocked.

“Screw people.” He uncovered my mouth and pulled away for a moment. I gazed at him wantonly. I realized what he wanted a second later when he tried to both push and pull me further up the bed. Taking the hint, I shimmied my way up, so we had more room. Falling off the bed would certainly raise suspicion about what was happening in here.

Montgomery continued his journey down my body to my underwear. He stopped to place a gentle kiss to each of my hips. “Think you can keep quiet Kitten?” I melted at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it in so long.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He pulled at the waistband of my underwear and they landed on the floor beside the bed. I sighed as he placed kisses to my pubic mound and my upper and inner thighs. Reaching down, I placed my hand on his hair. It felt so soft. Suddenly, he placed a kiss to my clit and my hips bucked. My fingers curled in his hair slightly. I moaned again, quietly this time, when he began to lap at my folds. My fingers curled in his hair more still. I couldn’t stop myself from tugging slightly. When he focused on sucking my clit I pulled on his hair. He moaned against my core and my body shook. When he added a finger or two to the mix, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. I had been secretly imagining this moment for the better part of a year. This felt so much better than I could have ever imagined. My orgasm began to build quickly. My walls started to flutter. Monty chuckled. He was well versed in my body’s reactions to stimuli. We both knew what was coming. His fingers thrust faster, and he stopped sucking my clit. Instead, he rubbed my clit harshly. I had to cover my mouth to keep from moaning too loudly. And then everything was bright and light for a second. I felt a, thankfully given our location, small trickle of liquid spill its way out of me. Monty gently slowed, and then stopped his thrusting and rubbing. I was panting and trying to catch my breath.

“Just give me a second.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

I looked down at him as he climbed up the bed. He settled beside me and reached down to palm at his hard dick. Once I had caught my breath, I shoved his hands out of the way and took over the palming. “You are so evil.” He grumbled.

“You love it.” I slipped my hand under the band of his boxer briefs. I hadn’t even touched his dick and he was bucking his hips already. He gasped when I brushed his dick with my fingertips lightly. I grasped it in my hand and stoked it. My movements were stilted by his underwear. After I took them off and dropped them next to my own underwear, there was much more real estate to work with. My hand was back to stroking right away. I was mostly just trying to bide time getting my energy back.

A little longer and my energy was back up to useful levels. So, I straddled his waist again and leaned in to kiss him. I wasn’t as conscious of my nakedness as I normally was. Our kiss was heated but I managed to pull away somehow. The trailing kisses down his chest made his breathing heavy. When I reached his cock, I licked a stripe from base to tip. I felt him tug at my ponytail holder. “I will never understand how this works.” I chuckled and reached up to pull my hair down. It fell in a cascade around my face. I tucked some behind my ear and repeated the same lick. The groan and hand that was winding its way in my hair told me all I needed to know. I smiled to myself before taking his cock in my mouth. I sucked slowly at first. I needed to take a few minutes to get used to the feeling. He removed his hand from my hair then, letting me do my thing. He put it back when I started to take more and more into my mouth and throat. I sighed softly when I managed to take it all. That last half inch was always iffy. His hand was wrapped up in my hair and holding it away from my face. I was surprised that he remembered not to tug when I started bobbing my head. Or maybe that wouldn’t be something a guy would forget. His hand traveled down to the base of my hair and rested against my skull. He started to buck his hips and I gagged slightly. Focusing on breathing through my nose, I kept my pace up. I knew he was holding back. I moaned around his cock and he cursed under his breath. I didn’t quite catch it. I stopped sucking to take a big breath of air.

Before I could resume my actions, Monty tugged on my hair. I looked up at him. There’s the hunger. He tugged on my hair again. He was trying to pull me up towards him without hurting me or being too demanding about it. I crawled forward towards the headboard. Kissing him again was the easiest choice I made this trip. I got lost in the feeling of his lips on mine and his tongue fighting mine for dominance. He took advantage of my distraction and rolled us over again. He always did like to be on top. “Do you have a condom anywhere?” he asked between kisses.

“I slipped one in the nightstand beside the Bible.” I breathed.

“You would put it beside the Bible.” He sat up and reached into the drawer, pulling out the blue foil packet. Once the condom was in place and the foil was discarded, he kissed me again. He was still kissing me when he adjusted our positions so he could enter me. My neck had always been a favourite spot to kiss. I gasped when I felt his cock enter me. It felt amazing. My body knew what to do instinctively as soon as he began thrusting. My hips were quickly able to match his pace. I gripped his biceps tightly, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t dreaming.

As his pace quickened, mine stilled. I was watching him. His brow was furrowed, focusing on this moment. I was pretty sure both of us weren’t sure if it would ever happen again. I reached up and brushed some hair that had fallen into his face away. Montgomery hit a particularly sensitive spot and my hand fell to his shoulder, squeezing and digging my nails into the skin. I moaned loudly and he kissed me to muffle it. “Shhh.” He cooed against my mouth. I whimpered. I felt my orgasm building again. It was coming on fast. My hips started to move on their own accord again. His thrusts started to falter, and I mewled. We were both on a rollercoaster that was speeding up to a stomach dropping fall. I covered my mouth so no one could hear the scream trying to jump from my throat. My eyes screwed shut tightly and my eyes rolled back in my head. The white light was so bright. As soon as my orgasm began to hit, so did Monty’s.

He pulled out of me quickly and discarded the used condom. All but falling over me, he rolled onto his back. We were both breathless. I was gasping for air. He was panting heavily. I rolled over onto my side, for some reason shy to cuddle up against him. It seemed silly to be concerned about that after what we had just done. But it felt like crossing a line. “Come here.” Monty pulled me closer to him.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? It doesn’t cross a line?”

“Reagan. We just had arguably the best sex of our lives and I told you I love you. I think we are way past being concerned about crossing lines.” I sighed, realizing he was probably right. Might as well get comfortable. “You need to go pee first.” I sighed again and excused myself. Back in bed, I curled up beside him again.

“We had to go and make everything complicated.”

“When has anything about us not been complicated?”

“I guess you’re right. Will you stay?” He checked his watch and thought for a minute.

“I can stay for a while if you want me to.”

“Yes please.”

I woke up the next morning alone with the blankets tucked around me tightly. There was a note on the pillow next to me written in Montgomery’s messy scrawl. I’ll be waiting. Remember that. I love you. I set the note in my lap and rubbed my face. I should check my phone. See if I missed anything important. Zach had texted me to say good night the night before, while I was… otherwise engaged. There was a text from Justin asking if I needed to talk. And Scott. He wanted to know if I knew where Monty was last night. Oh god. I forgot they were sharing a room. Oh shit. I need to face Zach now. Deciding it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible, I dragged my butt out of bed. I tucked Monty’s note in my suitcase while I got dressed.

When I looked in the mirror and saw the marks on my chest and neck, I rolled my eyes. I packed a heavy-duty concealer for my under eyes. I wasn’t planning on using it to cover hickeys that my ex-boyfriend left on me. Blending and layering took longer than expected but it was early enough that I was still done at a reasonable time. I had to leave my hair down though. Throwing on a pair of sneakers, I made my way to Zach and Justin’s room. I paused for a second when I passed Montgomery’s room. I shook my head. You can’t. Not while Zach is still a factor in the equation. I knocked on Zach’s door and he opened it shirtless. My eyes trailed down his body. I couldn’t stop the memories of last night from flooding back. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Morning Zachy. Can I come in?”

“Yeah. I’m just about ready.” I nodded and went to sit on his bed. Thankfully I wasn’t walking funny. When he was ready, we went downstairs hand in hand.

Monty was talking to Scott in the hotel lobby. I was shocked to see him awake and dressed at this time. The man likes his sleep. And we didn’t exactly get much last night. “Morning Scott. Monty.” Zach stopped to talk as we passed. I couldn’t look Monty in the eye.

“Morning lovebirds.” Scott replied.

“Zach. Reagan.”

“Morning.”

“No tea yet?”

“No.”

“I see. Long night?” I could hear the smirk in Monty’s voice. I hate you.

“I stayed up watching tv.” Zach began making small talk with the boys but I didn’t contribute anymore. I just wanted to get out of there and be alone with my boyfriend. Part of me hoped I could forget that last night ever happened. That didn’t stop me from thinking about it though. The longer they talked, the more I thought about it.

“Babe let’s go. Brunch is waiting.” I urged him to stop talking to Monty and Scott. Please don’t invite them.

“It’s not even eleven Rea. I don’t think it counts as brunch yet.” Scott laughed.

“Okay, then breakfast is waiting. Either way, I’m hungry and food that is far too calories dense to be considered a proper morning meal is waiting.”

“Did you guys want to come with?” My eyes widened. Did he just…? He did not just invite them with us.

“Uh.” Monty cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want to invite me?”

“Yeah. I mean, you and Reagan are friends. I’m going to have to get used to it somehow.”

“Why don’t we ask Reagan?” Monty turned and looked at me, raising an inquisitive brow.

“Um. I- uh.” I looked down, blushing. “I was kind of hoping we could go… just the two of us?” I asked Zach, raising my voice a couple of octaves.

“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought…,” he paused and took my hand again, “of course we can go just us. I was just trying to be nice and make an effort.” He was looking at me so kindly that I had to look away. “Sorry guys.”

“Nah, no worries. Gotta get time with your girl.” Scott waved it off. He shot Monty a look that I didn’t like. It made me feel uneasy. Does he know? Before I could think too much into it, Zach was leading me outside.

Brunch was delicious. Zach was his usual slightly oblivious but in a cute way self. If he had any idea something was wrong, he didn’t let on. On our way back, we stopped to sit and look at the White House from a distance. “Why did you invite Monty and Scott to have brunch with us?”

“Well, I didn’t realize you wanted to go just the two of us.”

“That’s not what I meant. You don’t like Monty. So why invite him to hang out?”

“He’s your friend. As much as I don’t like it and I don’t like how he talks to you, he’s important to you. So, I’m willing to try to be nice to him.” Oh. Well now I feel like even more of an asshole.

“That… That’s really nice of you Zachy. Thank you.”

“No problem. What do you say we head back and watch a movie in your room?” He kissed my temple and stood, holding his hand out to me.

“My room? Could we maybe go back to yours? Mine is kind of messy. I had some trouble finding something to wear this morning.”

“Okay. I don’t think Justin is holing himself up in there today.”

Scott caught us when we got back to the hotel. “Hey! Can I steal Reagan for a few minutes? I need to ask her something about an assignment in Spanish.”

“Sure. We were just going to watch a movie.”

“O-okay.” I waved to Zach and trailed behind Scott to his and Monty’s shared room. “I’m hopeless at Spanish and you know it. What is this about?” Please tell me he doesn’t know.

“Are you going to tell Zach about last night?” Fuck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s crap. Are you going to tell him, or not? Because he deserves to know.”

“How do you know about it?”

“Monty didn’t come in until like two or three this morning. I hadn’t seen him for hours before that. When I saw him this morning, and the calling card you left on his neck, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. The concealer on your neck just confirmed my suspicions. Just be thankful Zach is too oblivious to notice it.” I sighed, knowing he was right.

“I will. Just… not while we are still here. I don’t want to ruin anything. More than it already is anyway. Plus no one wants to deal with anyone getting arrested on a school trip.”

“Okay.”

“Is that all?” I turned to leave.

“Yeah. Actually, one more thing?” I stopped just short of the door. “Monty really does love you. And anyone with half a brain cell can see that you still love him. So, you deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks Scott.”

I spent the rest of the trip trying to avoid Montgomery and hold my tongue around Zach. I slept almost the whole flight back to California. School the next day dragged on. It continued to drag on for the next two weeks. Senioritis had set in hard now that we were done the D.C. trip. No one wanted to be there. We were graduating in a month. Most of us were going off to college. The last few weeks of school were basically pointless anyways. Even our teachers didn’t care as much. It was hard, but I managed to stay pretty cordial with Monty. I kept up appearances that everything was fine for most of the two weeks following the trip with Zach. On Friday I woke up and decided that it was time. I had to end things. I had to be fair to him. I had to take a chance and see if Monty and I could make things work this time. I texted Zach on my way to school. Meet me at the docks after school? The water is beautiful this time of year.

Sure.

I sat in my car for ten minutes after I arrived, trying to talk myself out of talking myself out of doing this. Zach wasn’t here yet so I got out of the car and walked around, trying to find a secluded bench where we could talk in private. I found the perfect one under a tree in the shade. It had an amazing view of the water. I snapped a selfie and sent it to him. Come and find me.

Zach snuck up and slid into the spot next to me. I jumped slightly. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hey.”

“I missed you today.”

“Yeah, I had some stuff to do. You know, last minute projects and final touches on assignments.”

“I know.” We sat quietly for a bit, just admiring the view. “You’re right. The water is beautiful this time of year.”

“Yeah.” I picked at my nails nervously. Just do it. “Listen, Zach….” I started.

“Yes?” He took my hand in his. I stared down at it.

“I- I think that…,” I paused. “I think that we need to break up.”

“What? Why?”

“I think it would be the best thing for us Zach.”

“Do you not love me anymore?”

“What? No, of course I do. It’s just… things are changing so fast.”

“Then why?”

“We are both going away to school next year and it will be too hard. I don’t want you to be tied down to someone on the other side or halfway across the country.”

“How do you know it will be too hard, Reagan?”

“Because. I’ve seen people try to make it work. We are eighteen Zach. We have our whole lives ahead of us. College is supposed to be the time where we experiment and make mistakes. To drink too many mixed drinks and wake up in someone else’s bed. I want you to experience that. And you can’t do that if you aren’t single.”

“We don’t leave for school for another two months at least though.”

“I don’t want us to wait until a week before we leave to decide that going into college single is the best choice.” Zach was silent for a while. I felt so bad. It needed to be done though.

“I guess you’re right.”  I smiled sadly at him. “You’ll always be special to me, you know that?”

“I know. You’ll always be special to me too.” I squeezed his hand and he kissed me softly for the last time. Knowing he would need time to sit and process, I was the one who stood and left him on the bench.

In my car before driving away from the docks and Zach, I sent a text message. Four words. Eleven letters. I hoped he would know what it meant. I love you too. The weight of hitting send was unimaginable. I had spent so long denying it, that I didn’t know how to feel about it. I guess I would just have to wait and see what the future held.

[collecting-stories]

Ulysses - JJ (Outer Banks)

Request: hi! i’ve never asked on tumblr before but i love your blog so i thought i’d give it a shot :) i love all of your obx imagines! could i please request something with jj where it’s just really fluffy and cute and general good vibes! i totally understand if not and i’m so sorry if requests are closed i’m still new to all of this! thank you so much xx

A/N: Basically JJ has a crush on an especially bookish girl and tries to impress her by tackling the novel Ulysses. 

///

“Give me like...I don’t know, what do you talk about when you’re flirting with a girl?” JJ asked, standing beside Pope and Kiara outside the small beach front bookshop. He kept pulling on the straps of his backpack and then loosening them.  

“When has Pope flirting with a girl ever worked in his favor?” Kiara teased.  

“Thanks a lot Kie.”

“Well like,” JJ sucked on his vape, trying to calm himself down, “what do smart people talk about?”

“Can I ask why we’re here?”  

JJ had texted Kiara and Pope that he had an emergency and needed them ASAP. Both of them had rushed through getting dressed and gotten all the way to the address he had given them only to realize JJ was standing outside of the bookshop. It wasn’t three weeks ago that, at a party on the beach, he’d seen you. JJ knew you from school, he’d seen you in classes. Once in ninth grade when everyone had to give presentations in front of the whole class he’d sat in the back listening to you talk about America in the 1960’s and told John B that he was going to date you. It never happened but he’d had a crush on you since then. And when he saw you at the party he thought it was some kind of crazy fate. He’d tried every dumb party trick he usually did and whatever jokes he could possibly think of but nothing seemed to work. You laughed but not in the way that suggested you were remotely interested in him or thought he was cool. And then yesterday he’d seen you in the window of the bookshop by chance when he was headed down to meet up with John B.  

“Her.” JJ pointed to where you sat behind the counter, reading.  

“I’m sorry, you called us down here to stalk some girl?” Kiara laughed.  

“You don’t get it Kie, I pulled out all the stops last time I saw her and she was totally uninterested.”

“What’d she say?”  

“Nothing really,” JJ replied. “It was what she didn’t say.”

“Invite her on the Pogue or something.” Pope offered.

“Do something, we look like creepy stalkers.” Kiara said, grabbing Pope’s sleeve and yanking him to the side just as you looked up, “JJ!”  

JJ’s usual fight or flight instinct seemed to malfunction when you looked up. He just froze, standing there with his vape hanging out of his mouth, staring at you with wide eyes. You looked startled for a minute before you offered him a wave. You remembered the party on the beach, he’d been funny and you had thought that he’d been interested but then he’d gone to refill his cup and never come back. Now he was standing outside the bookshop you worked in, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“JJ!” Kiara hissed. She stood just out of view with Pope. “Go in.”

He looked at her, still wide eyed, “what?”

“Go the fuck inside before she thinks you’re a creep.”  

“Right. Right.” JJ sucked on his vape, blowing smoke out of his mouth and nose before heading inside. He could do this, he could manage this.  

The bell above the door chimed as he walked inside, trying to play off his unusual level of nervousness by thumbing through books as he passed them. He couldn’t tell if any of these were smart people books. What did smart people read? What had their English teacher that year been harping on him to try and read? Something about an island.

“Can I help you find something?” You asked, watching him bump into a stack of books near the self-help shelf.  

“Yeah, yeah,” JJ nodded a little too enthusiastically, taking his cap off to run a hand through his hair before fixing it back on. Play it cool. “Hey, do I know you?” Good.

You frowned. He hadn’t come back from getting a beer but you had done a fair amount of self-preservative talking, reassuring yourself that you weren’t completely unmemorable. “I was at the party a few weeks ago.”

“Oh yeah, cool cool. Uh, what are you reading?” He asked, looking at the closed book on the counter.  

“Walden, by Henry David Thoreau.” You held it up for him to see the cover. “So, did you need help finding a book?”

“Uh,” JJ looked around the area he was in, scanning titles on the literature shelf. Something had to sound smart right? What sounded the smartest? “This one.” He grabbed a book and set it down on the counter.

“Seriously?” You had known ‘of’ JJ for a while. You went to the same school and on the days when he did show up for class nothing about him suggested that he was doing some heavy reading in his spare time. “Okay.” The party was the first time he’d ever actually spoken to you and, as much as you had enjoyed hanging out with him, you still didn’t think he was on the fast track to reading complicated literary works.  

“Cool, thanks.” He nodded. Over his shoulder, outside, Kiara and Pope were standing at the window watching the two of you. Neither of them looked hopeful about the interaction. “I’ll see you around or something?” He asked once he had the book in hand.

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” You smiled, hopeful that he might actually mean it.

-

JJ kept the book in his backpack for two weeks before he finally took it out and tried to read it. After a day of surfing, when he couldn’t sleep, he’d gone outside and sat in the hammock in John B’s yard, trying to read the book. It was almost too dark to see and he held a flashlight between his chest and chin as he tried to make sense of the story he was reading. When John B had heard about the encounter he had ragged on his best friend for days. JJ, reading? What was the world becoming?  

He looked for you at other parties over the course of those two weeks but he didn’t see you. He knew he could find you at the bookstore but he didn’t want to until he could understand what he was reading. If he could impress you, prove that he understood the stupid book, then maybe you’d go out with him.  

“You’ll have to read more books. She isn’t gonna listen to you sparknotes that book forever.” Pope had explained when JJ had told them his plan.  

“It’ll be fine.” None of the words even felt like they made sense at this point.  

On Tuesday, after two weeks of having the book and not understanding it he went back to the bookshop. If he wasn’t so frustrated by his own inability to comprehend something so stupid he would have been more nervous. You were reading something new this time and didn’t even look up when the bell chimed.  

You did look up when someone dropped a book on your counter. Buried in the sand, accidentally dropped in the marsh, bent up to loosen the spine, thumbed through while eating, and stained from a beer spill, the book looked like it had spent two weeks in hell and you almost had a panic attack at the sight. JJ stood there, looking almost as bad as the book.

“I don’t get it.”

“What?” You asked, bewildered.

“I tried...I read it twice. Front to back and I have no fucking idea what this guy is supposed to be talking about. Like what the fuck!” JJ exclaimed, voice louder than necessary.  

“I mean-”

“I only got this stupid thing because I thought if I could fucking read it than I wouldn’t sound like such an idiot talking to you and if I didn’t sound like an idiot, you’d go out with me.” JJ confessed.

“What?”

“None of it makes sense.” He groaned.  

“JJ, what?” You repeated, “you want to go out with me?”

“Yeah. And you were totally not interested at the party.”

“What are you talking about, I was too. You told me that stupid joke about penguins or something-”

“That's a funny joke.”

“No. It’s not. It doesn’t make sense.” You replied, “but I laughed. Then you left to get beer and never came back.”

“I did too.”

“No...you didn’t.”  

“Fuck! So, I read this stupid fucking book for nothing?” He asked as he realized that he’d rushed to conclusions.  

“I mean, if it makes you feel better, I’m super impressed you read Ulysses twice. Even if you didn’t get it.” You laughed.  

JJ ran a hand through his hair before shaking it out and looking at you, “so you wanna hang out?”

“I have two more hours in my shift, but after that I can.”

“Okay.” He nodded, looking around the small bookshop before settling on his torn-up copy of Ulysses, “so, do you understand it?”  

“I read the study that Stuart Gilbert did on it so, yeah.”

“Like a cheat sheet?”

“I guess.”

“Fuck!” He groaned, leaning over the counter and placing his forehead against it. “I fucking can’t believe I wasted two weeks on this shit.”

You laughed, reaching across to rub his back, “It’s okay. I can explain it to you if you want?”

“Please do.”

“Seriously?” You asked, surprised that he wanted to actually understand it.

JJ stood up again, hands pressed against the counter, “yeah you look super hot when you explain stuff. That history assignment in ninth grade was like, the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

You laughed, “You are a weird person.”

-

I’ve always wanted someone to read a book to impress me. It’s weird but...oh well. 

taglist: @poguesrforlife @freckled-and-daydreaming​ @jolomez​ @calumhoodsbuckethat

If you want to be tagged let me know!

[patagucci34]

Partners for Life~ Tyson Jost

Warnings: swearing, some playful touching.... 

Word Count: 11k

All you wanted to do was change into comfy sweats, pour a heavy glass of wine, and forget about the awful week you had at work. But of course, there had to be something else to make this day even worse. When you were about 5 minutes away from your apartment it started down pouring. You cursed to yourself and picked up the pace.

Once you were in the comfort of your building, you let out a sigh of relief and made the trek up to your apartment. When you stepped out of the elevator you were met with a smiling face, one that normally would melt all of your worries away, but today, it only helped a little. You forced a smile back when his smile turned into a concerned frown.

"What happened to you?" He asked, stopping in front of you.

"I got caught in the rain on the way back from work."

He nodded and grabbed the bags out of your hands so you could unlock your door.

"Thanks, Tyson." You said with a small smile, hoping he would leave you be now. Normally you would welcome his company, but you really wanted that glass of wine and quiet night in by yourself. But it wasn't looking like that was the case when he strolled over to your fridge making himself at home. But that didn't stop you from wandering down the hall and taking a warm shower. Maybe then he would get the hint?

Nope. When you walked back out to the living room he was cozied up on the couch. A little bit of your annoyance dissipated when you saw the two wine glasses on the coffee table in front of him. So you grabbed one and plopped back into the couch.

"Rough week?" He asked, grabbing the other glass.

"You have no idea."

"I'm sorry, you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really.…" you sighed, "no game tonight?"

"Nah, we're leaving for a road trip tomorrow."

"Ohh nice, where to?"

"We're going to Florida."

"Ugh, I'm so jealous. I would love some nice weather right now."

Tyson chuckled, "yeah it might do you some good. You're looking a little pasty."

You rolled your eyes and pushed him playfully. "I meant mentally, but thank you for that."

"I know, I'm just messing…" he said patting your thigh "…are you sure you're okay?"

You sighed, "yeah, I just had an awful week at work, and my family has been harping on me a lot lately and I'm just over it all."

"I'm sorry, Y/n/N, what's going on at work?"

"My coworkers are just the worst. We had a huge project due this week and it seemed like I was the only one doing anything. And of course they got all of the credit. But it's fine, things should be better next week."

"What about your family?"

"Where do I even start…lately it's just been about me not having a boyfriend. I just don’t understand the fascination with my love life. My cousin is getting married soon and they really want me to bring someone…but like who cares? I'm 23, I don't see the urgency. But I also don't want to get shit for it the whole weekend. I don't know, whatever, it'll be fine, I'm just annoyed right now."

"When is the wedding?"

"A few weeks from now…why?"

"Is it the All Star break?"

"Ummmm…." you said while checking the dates "yes…why?!"

"I could be your date if you wanted…"

"No, Tyson, I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering."

"I don't know, Tys…"

"Come on, you'll have good company, you won't have to hear about how single you are…"

"Wait, you want to go as my boyfriend?"

"Well I don't think going as your friend would help…"

"You'd really do that?"

"Yes! I want to."

"Alright.…I don't know if it'll work, I'm not sure my family will even believe me."

"Oh, we can make it believable."

You eyed Tyson suspiciously but then gave in. "Okay…alright. I owe you big time."

"Let's just see how the weekend goes…" Tyson said with a smirk.

The rest of the night was spent watching New Girl. Tyson kept refilling your glass and you ended up pretty tipsy. Before Tyson left he helped you into bed and locked up your apartment on the way out.

~~~~~

The next morning, you woke up with a headache, cursing yourself for getting wine drunk. You loved being wine drunk in the moment but hated the hangover. You also cursed yourself at the thought of the little plan you and Tyson had come up with the night before. It's not that you weren't excited to spend an entire weekend with Tyson, it's just that you were pretty nervous about the whole thing. You had grown very close in your time as neighbors, but it was always just as friends. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a crush on Tyson, but you always kept it to yourself because you didn't want to ruin their friendship, not to mention you didn't think you were his type. You were also nervous about your family buying their 'relationship'. Not only had you been telling your family that you were still single, but they would never believe that you were dating one of the Colorado Avalanche.

You tried to push it from your mind and focus on getting rid of the hangover. You made your way to the kitchen and guzzled down a glass of water accompanied by a few Tylenol and then rummaged through the fridge to make something to eat.

You posted up on the couch after you ate and watched movies all day. You were able to be a bit more productive on Sunday and cleaned your apartment and went grocery shopping for the week.

~~~~~

You didn't see Tyson until Wednesday night. He had texted you earlier in the day asking if you wanted to get take out. When you got home from work, Tyson was already in your apartment with the take out.

"I could kiss you right now, I'm starving." You said as you dropped your bags on the floor and sat down at the table."

Tyson smirked, "it might be good practice…"

"Oh my god, I actually kind of forgot about that…we should talk about our game plan."

"Yes, I like to excel so I need everything there is to know about your family so I'm fully prepared."

You rolled your eyes, "of course you do…well, I mean how long have we been dating for? I've been telling my family I'm single, but I'm sure I could come up with some excuse why I haven't told them."

"Yeah, it might be kind of weird to take your boyfriend of two weeks to a family wedding…"

"Okay, so how long do you think?"

"6 months?"

"Is that too long?"

Tyson shrugged, "I don't know, I think that's fine."

"Alright, and I think we should stick to saying we met through being neighbors."

"Good idea, less room for slip ups…what are you going to use as an excuse for not telling them?"

"I guess maybe that I wanted to feel things out and also because you're kinda famous?"

"Kinda?! I'm hurt."

You giggled at Tyson's dramatics. "Okay, sorry, you're famous. Fully famous."

"Much better…so let's start with the family lessons. I know you have 3 brothers, Charlie, Ben, and Jack. Your parents are Kate and Steve… but I think that's all I got."

"I'm impressed! Yes, Ben is the oldest, he's a lawyer, he's married to Hailey who is a nurse. Charlie is next, he's a teacher, he's engaged to Casey, who is also a teacher. Then there is Jack, he's in his second year of med school and his girlfriend is Carly, she's a physical therapist. Then my parents, Kate and Steve. My dad is a lawyer, Ben works at his firm. And my mom is a nurse. Do you want me to write this stuff down?"

"No way, I'll get it. Just keep going."

"Alright...the cousin that is getting married is on my dad's side. His name is Tom, his fiancé's name is Lauren. Tom does something with finance, I'm not exactly sure what, and Lauren is a social worker. Tom has one sister, Maddie, she's an aspiring actress…" Tyson stifled a laugh at your face when you said her occupation. "My grandparents are Dave and Shelly, they're both retired, but my grandfather was a lawyer, it’s his firm that my dad and Ben work for. And I think I can just introduce you to everyone else as we go…"

"Alright, got it."

"Do you?" You questioned, not believing him.

"Okay, fine, not yet. But I will."

~~~~~

The next few weeks went by faster than you had wanted. As the wedding grew nearer you became more and more nervous. You had let everyone know that you would be bringing your boyfriend, and of course, the questions rolled in. You told them what you had practiced with Tyson, you weren't sure where things were going to go and didn't want to get their hopes up, and because he's a professional athlete you wanted to make sure everything was sound in their relationship before you went public. Although your mom was upset that you didn’t confide in her earlier, they were happy that you had found a boyfriend. It definitely made you feel guilty for lying, but you were able to get over it.

A few days before you were leaving, you went to Tyson's game. You weren't able to go all of the time, but you had a blast when you did. You had become friends with a few of the WAGs and of course a bunch of the guys.

They were all going out after the game to celebrate the beginning of the All Star break and Tyson had invited you to go so you went down to the locker rooms after the game to wait for him.

"Y/N!" You turned at the familiar voice and smiled and gave Andre a hug.

"Hey, Burky, good game!"

"Thanks, are you coming out with us?"

"I am!!"

"Good, Tys is more fun when you're around." He said, winking. You laughed a bit before a few of the others guys joined and talked about the plans for this evening.

A few minutes later, Tyson came up behind you and wrapped his arm around you.

"Hey, Tys!" You greeted him happily.

"Hey, babe." You rolled your eyes at his choice of words. "What?! I'm just trying to get into character." He defended, which made the guys laugh. They all knew about the arrangement and most of them were hoping this weekend would be the push you needed to actually date.

"You ready?" Tyson asked. You nodded and bid farewells until later.

Tyson drove you back to you building and you split ways to get ready.

"How long do you need?" He asked.

"I'll be ready in like 20??"

"Alright, I'll come over in a half hour." He said chuckling at himself, which caused you to roll your eyes but nod your head and go inside.

An hour later you were making your way through the crowd at the club to find everyone else. Tyson had gone to get them drinks while you sat down next to EJ and Landy. Landy was grilling you about the weekend, him being the number one supporter of you guys actually dating. Luckily he let up a bit on  you when Tyson came back and started in on him.

You kept downing drinks as the night went on and ended up being very drunk. Tyson had to help you through the club and he pretty much carried you to your apartment. He was nervous to leave you alone, so he ran over to his apartment to change and came back to stay with you for the night.

~~~~~

The next morning, you groaned as you peeled your eyes open. You were slightly confused about the arm draped over you because you didn't remember talking to any guys at the club. You relaxed when you looked over and saw that it was Tyson.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." He said with a smirk.

"Morning….what are you doing here?"

"You were pretty loaded…I was nervous you might throw up in your sleep so I stayed with you."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to get so drunk…"

"I know, it's all good. You just will really be kicking yourself in the car today!"

"Ugh, don't remind me." You said and rolled back over.

"10 more minutes! Then you need to get up and get ready." Tyson reminded.

"Okay, mom." You muffled into the pillow as you fell back asleep.

An hour later you had the car packed up and were on the way. Thankfully, Tyson offered to drive, knowing your current state and just the fact you didn't love driving anyway. You played the music, luckily you had similar taste, so you jammed out for most of the 4 hour drive. You also quizzed him on your family, and just as he claimed, he remembered it all.

Tyson noticed that you had grown quiet in the last half hour. He reached over and grabbed your hand.

"Hey," he started softly, "it's going to be fine."

"I know, I'm just nervous. Even though they're happy I have a boyfriend, they can be so critical and rude. I'm going to apologize in advance for anything that they say."

"I think I can handle them…I'm used to criticism."

"I know…I just, even though we aren't actually dating, you are one of my best friends and I don't want them to scare you off."

"Don't worry about that…I'm not going anywhere." He said and gave your hand a gentle squeeze before pulling it away. You smiled at him and started to realize that this might not have been the best idea for your sake. You had been able to keep your feelings at bay, but this weekend might change that. You push those thoughts out of your mind as Tyson pulls the car into your driveway. You panicked a bit when you saw all of the cars in the driveway. It had been your understanding that Jack was going to be the only of your brothers home tonight and everyone else would be over tomorrow. Tyson noticed your panic and grabbed your hand again.

"What's wrong?"

"My mom told me Jack and Carly were going to be here tonight, not everyone else…"

"Well that's okay, we'll get it over with."

"I know, I just wasn't prepared for this. I'm sorry, I'll stop freaking out."

Tyson chuckled, "don't apologize. But don't worry either, okay? We got this." He reassured you and kissed your forehead. You blushed at the act, you guys had cuddled before and obviously shared the same bed, but this felt different, and it just made you even more nervous.

You both got out and grabbed your bags before approaching the door. You didn't even have time to put your bag down when it burst open.

"Y/N!!! I've missed you so much!" Your mom exclaimed while giving you a tight hug.

"Hi, mom, I missed you too." Once she let go, she turned to Tyson and you introduced the two. "Mom, this is Tyson, Tys, this is mom, Kate."

"Oh, it's so nice to meet you!!!" Your mom exclaimed again, pulling Tyson in for a hug.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Y/L/N. I've heard so much about you."

"Oh, please, call me Kate." She said as she let go. "Well, come in! Everyone's dying to meet you!"

You glanced at Tyson and he winked in return. You followed your mom inside and you put your bags down and went into the living room where everyone was sitting. Tyson put his arm on the small of your back and you leaned into him as you walked into the room.

Your brothers all shot up and surrounded you in a hug, separating you and Tyson. You rolled your eyes but laughed and welcomed their embrace. Once they finally let you go, your dad stepped up and gave you a hug and kissed your cheek. "Hey, baby girl. It's nice to see you."

"It's good to see you too, dad, I've missed you." He gave you one more quick squeeze and let you go so you could introduce Tyson to everyone.

"Well, everyone, this is Tyson…" At this point your brother's partners had joined them. "…Tyson, this is my dad, Steve, Ben and Hailey, Charlie and Casey, and Jack and Carly."

Tyson shook all of their hands as you went down the line.

"It's nice to meet you all." Tyson said with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you too, we're glad she's finally bringing someone home to us!" Your dad joked, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Okay, well, we're gonna bring our stuff upstairs. See you in a few." You said grabbing Tyson's hand and dragging him back into the hallway.

"No funny business!" Your brother Charlie called, laughing at himself. You heard Casey scold him and smiled to yourself.

You led Tyson to your old room, telling him you'll give him a tour once you put your bags down.

"That wasn't so bad…" He said as you plopped down on the bed.

"Yet…it's been 5 minutes."

Tyson chuckled and cupped your face with hands, "hey, what did I tell you? Stop worrying."

"I know, I know. I just can't help it."

"Come on, let's go. I'm ready for the grand tour." He said taking your hands and pulling you up. You sighed, but obliged and led him out of the room.

"….and this is the kitchen!" You said as you finished the tour. Your mom smiled at the two of you as you entered the room.

"Your home is very beautiful, Kate." Tyson said to your mom.

"Oh, you're too sweet…do you mind helping me finish up dinner, Y/n/N?"

"Sure. Tys do you want to help?" You asked, not really wanting to throw him to the wolves with your brothers in the next room.

"Yeah, I'll help. What do you need us to do?" He asked sweetly.

"Can you two finish putting the salad together? All of the stuff is on the counter over there."

You nodded and went to the sink to wash your hands and then you and Tyson started cutting up vegetables. You actually were having a lot of fun, Tyson was trying out some of his new jokes on your mom, which she loved. The whole scene felt very domestic, and of course you couldn't help but think about your feelings for him. You were brought back to reality when Tyson gave you a questioning look and mouthed "are you okay?" You forced a smile back and nodded and went back to cutting vegetables.

Once the three of you finished up, your mom called everyone into the dining room for dinner. Everyone took their seats and dug right in.

"This is delicious, mom." Jack complimented with his mouth full. Everyone chuckled and agreed, your mom blushing from the compliments.

"Well, I had good helpers." She said acknowledging you and Tyson. You both smiled and went back to eating.

You were starting to get nervous because your brothers hadn't really said much to Tyson. They had always been very overprotective and tried to scare off the guys you brought around and even though Tyson wasn't actually your boyfriend you were really nervous for what they might say. You knew better than to think that maybe they grew out of that stage, so it just made you more and more anxious for when it was going to come.

You caught Jack's gaze and he gave you a devilish grin. You gave him a warning look but he just shook his head. This was it. It was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You looked at Tyson and he gave you a small smile and squeezed your thigh under the table.

"So, Tyson…" Charlie started "…hockey, huh?"

You shot a glare at your brother but he just smiled sweetly.

"Uh, yeah, I've played ever since I was young."

"How reliable is it to play professionally?" Ben asked this time.

"Ben…" Your mom scolded.

"It's okay, that's a fair question." Tyson defended. "I would say it's pretty secure, as long as I'm playing well and staying healthy."

"What happens if you get injured?" Jack asked.

"Well, if it's minor I'll get treatment until it's healed and then start playing again."

"And if it's not?"

"Well, I guess, I'd be done playing hockey."

"Okay, that's enough." You said glaring at all of your brothers.

"We just want to make sure you're in good hands, Y/n/N." Jack said sweetly.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself with my own salary, so Tyson's job security shouldn't be of concern." That shut them up for a little, but you knew they weren't done. Not with this dinner and certainly not for the rest of the weekend. Tyson squeezed your thigh again, that definitely being his way of telling you not to get too worked up.

Thankfully, your mom changed the subject to talk about plans for the weekend, but that didn't hold for very long.

"So, Tyson…" Jack started this time "…it must be pretty demanding being a professional athlete, do you even see Y/N that much?" You shot him another glare but he just kept smiling.

"Yeah, it can be, we live across the hall from each other so I pretty much see her whenever I'm home."

"Why does it matter to you how often we see each other?" You asked.

"We're just looking out for you, Y/n/N." Charlie defended.

"Well stop, you're just being rude."

"Alright, let's not fight at the table…" Your mom stated, trying to keep the peace. "Hailey, how are things at the hospital?"

You were thankful she changed the subject again, but you still weren't convinced it would put a total end to the grilling.

And you were right, a few minutes later, Jack spoke up again.

"Tyson, you must have a lot of girls after you, being a professional athlete and all."

You didn't even give Tyson the chance to defend himself before you lost it.

"Are you kidding me right now, Jack?! I cannot believe you would even ask that! Can you not be a dick for like one fucking weekend?!" And you stormed off up the stairs.

Tyson excused himself and followed after you. You sat on the bed, too mad to even cry, which you were thankful for. It was embarrassing enough that Tyson just had to sit through and witness what just happened.

"I'm so sorry, Tys." You apologized as he sat down next to you.

"No need to apologize, Y/n/N. It's not your fault your brother is a dick." You cracked a smile at his comment.

"I just didn't think he'd be like that. They've always been super overprotective, but that was just too much."

"It's really okay. Honestly, I can't say that I wouldn't have asked something similar to my sister's boyfriend. I get it. You're their baby sister, they just want what's best for you. I can take their crap, alright?"

"You're too good." You said with a huff, which made Tyson chuckle.

"Only for you, babe." He said and kissed your forehead. You both settled back on the bed and he tucked you into his side.

A little while later there was a knock on your door. You sat up a little bit and told them to come in. It was your mom.

"Hi, sweetie. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I just wish Jack wasn't such an asshole."

"I know, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry Tyson that he was acting that way."

"It's okay, I understand, I have a younger sister."

"Well, I think he feels bad he upset you like that…"

"Good." You stated, causing your mom and Tyson to chuckle.

"Alright, well I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Goodnight, you two."

"Goodnight, mom."

"Goodnight, Kate."

"I, um, don't usually freak out like that so, I'm sure it really made them feel bad…" You stated.

"Yeah, now I know to never piss you off."

You laughed at Tyson and cuddled back into his side. "That kind of freak out is reserved for my brothers. You probably won't ever be on the receiving end."

"Good to know." He said chuckling back. "You wanna watch New Girl?"

"Sure, I'm gonna go get changed first."

The rest of the night was spent watching Netflix, cuddled up in your bed. No apology from Jack but you didn't really expect one. He'll probably half ass one in the morning, and you'll forgive him, you always do.

~~~~~~

You were right. When you went downstairs for breakfast, it was just Jack in the kitchen. He looked over at you and held his arms out, signifying a hug. You looked at him and raised your eyebrows, awaiting those magic words.

"Come on, are you really going to make me say it?"

"Yes! You were so awful last night. You really owe an apology to Tyson…"

"Fine, I'm sorry, Y/n/N. I took it too far."

"Yes, you did. But I forgive you…as long as you cool it for the rest of the weekend!"

"I will, I promise."

"Thank you." You beamed and gave him a hug.

"Aww, how sweet!" Charlie cooed as he interrupted you and Jack.

"Hey, I think you and Ben also owe her an apology."

"No way, we didn't take it as far as you did." Charlie defended just as Ben walked in.

"Yeah, I agree, we were pretty mild." Ben agreed.

"Would it really be that bad to apologize to me?" You asked, fully knowing the answer.

"Yes." Ben and Charlie answered at the same time.

You rolled your eyes but went about your business.

"Where is lover boy anyway?" Charlie asked.

You shrugged, "still sleeping."

"Not out for an early morning run?" Jack teased, you rolled your eyes again.

"Stop!! You said you'd cool it!"

"Relax, I'm just teasing."

You rolled your eyes as you sat down at the table and your brothers joined around you.

"But seriously, Y/n/N. Are you happy?"

"Yes, Ben, I'm very happy. He's really good to me."

"Okay good, then we're happy. But as soon as he does something to hurt you…he's done for."

"I know, I know. Although…he is a professional athlete, are you sure you could take him?" You teased.

"Please, it's no contest." Charlie defended which made you laugh.

Just as he was about to throw a grape at you, Tyson walked in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Tys!" You called from the table. He came over and sat next to you and greeted your brothers. "Are you hungry? I can make you some eggs, or we have cereal, I could make pancakes?"

"How come you didn't offer to make any of us that stuff??" Jack whined. You just rolled your eyes and looked back at Tyson.

"I'll have some eggs, but I can help you." He said and the two of you got up and started cooking.

Everyone else ended up joining you in the kitchen so you ended up making breakfast for everyone else too, but you didn't mind. It was fun to hang out with everybody and you were glad that your brothers were done with third degree.

After breakfast you and Tyson went back upstairs to showered for the day. You wanted to show him around your hometown and have a chill day because the next two days were going to be filled with wedding stuff.

When you walked back into your room after your shower, Tyson was lying on the bed looking at his phone. You were just in a towel and while you and Tyson were pretty comfortable with each other, you expected him to go take his shower so you could change. He looked up at you and smirked when he saw your attire.

"You gonna give me a show?"

"Tyson!" You cried. "We're at my parents…and it's 10 in the morning."

"So you're saying you would though?"

"Seriously, that's what you took from that?"

Tyson smirked at you and moved to get off the bed. You watched him as he rummaged through his things and then started to move past you to go to the bathroom. Just as you thought you were safe, he slapped your ass and hurried out of the room. You gasped, though it wasn't very hard, you were not expecting that. You wanted to mad but you couldn't help but smile. If he wanted to play it like that this weekend, you were gonna give it right back.

You decided to only get half-dressed to start…you put on a sexy bra and super cheeky underwear. Once satisfied with your look, you laid down on the bed and waited for Tyson to come back. You didn’t have to wait long, a few minutes later you heard him opening the door.

"Hey, do you know if there is anymore-- whoa." You smirked at the thought of Tyson's face, you couldn't see because you were lying on your stomach so your ass was showing. What you didn't bargain for was for him to be so composed and not let it get to him. So just as you were about to turn around to see what he was doing, you felt a much harder slap to your ass.

"Ow, Tyson! What the hell!"

"Hey, you put your ass out here like that…I can't help it." He smirked and plopped down next to you.

"You're the worst." You grinned as you got up to finish getting dressed.

"You ready?" You asked a little while later after both of you had gotten dressed.

"Yes ma'am, let's get to it. Lots of history to see."

"History? I would hardly call this town historical."

"Yeah, your history." He said with a sweet smile. Your heart melted and you were really starting to wonder if you would make it through this weekend.

You started off by showing him the spot where everyone went to party, you didn't stay long because it was pretty cold, but he thought it was funny that a random spot in the woods was where you used to get drunk. "Hey, you do what you gotta do in a small town." You defended before moving on. You then took him by the high school, you couldn't really spend much time there either because kids were in school. Next you brought him 'downtown'. You walked around going into different little shops and boutiques. Then you brought him to your favorite place to eat for lunch.

The two of you talked a lot about high school and how different it was for both of you. You had never really talked much about your past during your friendship so it was nice to get to know each other a little better.

"So, tell me all about high school Y/N." He said once the two of you had ordered your food.

You sighed, "what do you want to know?"

"I don't know…were you popular? A jock? A nerd?"

"I mean…I guess I was popular…I played sports, I wouldn't identify as a nerd but I did do well in school…"

"Wait you played sports?"

"Yeah, soccer, hockey, and lacrosse."

"I'm sorry, what? You played hockey?? How come you never told me?"

"I don't know…I guess it never came up."

"We talk about hockey all the time…"

"Yeah, you playing hockey…professional hockey…not high school girls hockey. Besides, I really wasn't very good soo..."

"So what?! I can't believe you didn't tell me…I'm taking you skating as soon as we get back to Denver so you can show me your moves."

You shook your head, "nope. No way."

"Why not?!"

"Because I'm really not very good, and that's why I've never mentioned it because I knew that you would make me go skating with you."

"Oh come on, I seriously doubt you're that bad."

"Compared to you, yeah, I am."

Tyson rolled his eyes. "You are so ridiculous…so what else did you do in high school?"

"Well, I was in chorus…and don't ask me to sing for you because I will not be doing that."

"Come on, you're no fun." Tyson whined.

You laughed at him and shook your head, "yeah I guess I left all of it here."

"Anything else that I don't know about you that you want to share with me?? Crazy ex boyfriends?? Girlfriends??"

"I guess I should probably tell you…I do have an ex who will be going to the wedding…we dated for a few years but he was kinda shitty.."

"Shitty?"

You sighed, not really wanting to get into it but you knew that you should give him an explanation because you really didn't know what would happen this weekend. "It was a pretty unhealthy relationship…of course I didn't really know that at the time. It wasn't until I went off to college that I started realizing that something was wrong. I tried to end things while I was away but he wouldn't really let it happen so I tried again when I went back home for break and he, like, freaked out…and um, hit me, so I called my friend to come get me… I was able to get out of the relationship with some help but nothing ever really happened to him because I guess he was having drinking issues…"

"Wait, he hit you…and your family is still bringing him around?"

"Yeah...my uncle is really good friends with his dad so…"

"I'm so sorry, Y/n/N…are you gonna be okay this weekend?"

"It's okay.…it's been a few years now. I haven't really seen him much, I usually avoid the gatherings he goes to. I'm not really sure what will happen this weekend…"

"Well I won't leave your side the whole time. I'll protect you."

"Thanks, Tys. I'm actually so thankful you came with me this weekend."

"Of course. You do so much for me all the time…it's the least I could do."

Even though he meant that in the best way possible, and despite all of the flirty comments and advances, it just reinforced that he really was just here as your friend.

You spent the rest of lunch talking about random stuff. Tyson took his phone out and started taking a picture of you.

"Stop! What are you doing?" You said covering your face.

"Put your hands down!! This is great lighting. Smile, look cute."

You relented and let him take your picture. "You better not put that anywhere."

Tyson smirked, "too late."

"Tyson! I’m gonna kill you." You checked your phone and sure enough he tagged you in his Instagram story.

"It's fine, you look really pretty!"

"Okay, but you have so many followers! They're going to think we're dating."

"We are...aren't we?"

You rolled your eyes and focused back on your food.

"I can take it down if you really want me to, but that might look extra sus."

"No, it's fine. I just will kill you if you do it again."

There wasn't really much else to show him so after you finished you headed back to your parent's house.

Your parents were the only ones home so you greeted them and headed up to your room. Tyson went to the bathroom so you took the opportunity to change into some comfy clothes and put on Netflix. You didn't acknowledge him when he walked back into your room but he had the same idea you did, he stripped down and put on some sweats before lying next to you in bed. Normally you would snuggle up next to him but you decided you needed to start distancing yourself a bit otherwise you were going to end up getting hurt.

You ended up falling asleep and woke up an hour later and woke up with your head on Tyson's shoulder. Figures, you knew that would happen. You turned your head and noticed that he was asleep too and he had wrapped his arm around your waist. You sighed as you grabbed your phone from your nightstand and settled back into bed, not wanting to wake him up.

You opened Instagram and were met with hundreds of notifications. Luckily, you were private, but you had a ton of follower requests. Thanks, Tyson. You scrolled through them, most of them being random girls, a few cute guys that you took the chance and let them follow you. There were a few people with the little blue check mark, mostly other guys in the NHL, but one in particular caught your eye. Mat Barzal. You knew that Tyson was friends with him, and you'd be lying if you denied thinking he was attractive. You had always had a little crush on him, so you accepted his request and kept scrolling through. A few minutes later, you received a DM from Mat. Your heart started racing as you went to open it.

Tyson didn't tell me his neighbor friend was so cute ;)

Okay, now you were freaking out, you did not expect that. Obviously Tyson had told him that he was going to a wedding with you. But it was also more proof that Tyson thought of you as just a friend. I mean, he would have told Mat that he liked you, right? You were interrupted from your thoughts by Tyson shifting next to you.

"Who's that?" He asked groggily.

"Um, no one." You said quickly exiting out of Instagram.

"Obviously not." He said grabbing your phone from your hand and getting out of bed.

"Tyson! Give me my phone back."

"I just want to see who's DMing you." You tried grabbing it from his hands but he held you back with one arm. "Mat?" He asked, growing serious.

"You're the one who posted the story…I'm getting lots of requests from guys in the NHL."

"But Mat?"

"You're acting as if I have any control over this."

"You know he's my friend right?"

"Tyson, he messaged me, I don't know what you want me to do."

"Are you gonna respond?"

"I don't know, I don't really know what to say back to that."

"Do you want to?"

"Well I don't want to be rude, but if it's going to bother you I guess I won't."

"No, I'm sorry, you can respond. I guess it just caught me off guard." He said giving you your phone and leaving the room.

You huffed and sat down on the bed. You were so confused. Why would Tyson react like that if he just liked you as a friend? This weekend was really messing with your head and you were kind of regretting bringing him with you. You had already accepted that you should get over your feelings for him, but now you were worried that it was going to mess with your friendship.

You contemplated what to say back to Mat. You didn't want to upset Tyson but you also didn't want to leave him on read, it might be kind of awkward if you guys ever met in person.

Tyson came back a few minutes later and seemed to be in a little bit of a better mood.

"Did you respond?" He asked, sitting down next to you.

"Not yet, I don't know what to say…any ideas?"

"You wanna mess with him a bit?" He asked with a smirk.

"I don't know, Tys, I don't know him."

"But I do…he'll think it's funny."

You sighed and handed him your phone, "fine."

Tyson took it happily and started typing away.

"What are you saying?" You asked, trying to look over his shoulder. He moved the phone so you could see it.

You know Tyson?

You looked at Tyson quizzically, "where are you going  with this?"

"I'm gonna make it seem like you don't know who he is."

"Tys, that's just mean."

"Relax, it'll be fine."

You only had to wait a few minutes before he replied again.

Wait, Tys hasn't mentioned me?

Tyson started laughing when he read it and you just rolled your eyes, wishing you had never agreed to this.

No…sorry :( Tyson cackled as he sent back,

"It’s not as funny as you think it is, you know."

"Oh, it's hilarious."

Damn, well then I guess I'm gonna have to get you to fall for me all by myself

You laughed as you watched Tyson react to the response.

"Guess that didn't work as well as you thought it would." You teased, grabbing your phone.

"Wait, let me say one more thing!!"

"No, you've done enough. I'm telling him it was a joke."

"You are absolutely no fun." Tyson whined.

You shrugged, "sorry!"

Hey, I’m so sorry, Tyson saw that you DM'd me and thought that it would be funny to mess with you…

I know who you are haha

Of course he did…what a relief though, you are very pretty I would love to meet you sometime :)

I'm sure we could make that happen…as long as Tyson doesn't get in the way.

"What are you saying?" Tyson asked when he saw you grinning at your phone like a teenager.

"Why must you know everything?"

"Because you're both my friends…"

"Fine." You said and showed him what you said. "Looks like you have to introduce us."

Tyson rolled his eyes, "we'll see."

You chose to just ignore him because you didn't want to argue anymore.

"We should probably go socialize…" You said sighing and getting up.

Tyson let out a sigh too and rummaged through his things to find a shirt to put on. Once he put one on the two of you headed downstairs.

Your mom, Casey, and Carly were in the kitchen getting started on dinner. You asked if they needed help but they said no so you went into the living room where your dad, Jack, and Charlie were all watching TV. You took the open loveseat and Tyson put his arm around you and you cuddled into his side. Although things were a little weird between the two of you, you had to keep appearances up. There wasn't much talking going on, although you were glad that your brothers were being pleasant with Tyson.

Tyson was focused on the TV while you were scrolling through Twitter. You hadn't even noticed that Tyson was now looking at your phone with you until he squeezed your shoulder and laughed at the tweet you just liked. You relaxed a little bit more in his arms, glad that things were becoming more comfortable again.

Dinner was much better than it was the night before. Everyone was laughing and making jokes, no one was grilling Tyson…

You helped your mom clean up while everyone else went into the living room to set up for a game of charades.

"So, how are you?" Your mom asked.

"Um, I'm good…why?"

"What? I can't ask how you are?"

"Well, you can, it just seemed a little out of the blue."

"I haven't really had any time alone with you…"

"I know, I'm sorry. I just worry about leaving Tyson alone with them…"

"How come you never told me about him?"

"I told you mom, I didn't know if things were serious or not, and we wanted to keep it kind of private, hockey fans can be crazy."

"I know, but I'm your mother. I want you to feel like you can tell me things like that."

"I do mom, I really do. I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier."

"Things are good with you two?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Things seemed a little tense tonight…"

"We just had a little disagreement earlier, but it's all good."

"Okay...he seems like a really great guy, Y/n/N, and the way he looks at you…it reminds me of how my father looked at my mother…he's really in love with you sweetie. I hope this works out for you two."

You smiled sweetly at your mom and gave her a hug, even though that was the last thing you wanted to hear right now. At this point, you had stopped getting your hopes at little signs because they never ended up meaning anything.  

Once you were finished cleaning up, you and your mom joined everyone else in the living room. You sat down next to Tyson and he put his arm around and kissed the side of your head. You were not looking forward to this game, your family was very competitive, and although you knew Tyson was too, it could get out of hand pretty quickly.

You were split into two teams, thankfully you were with Tyson, Charlie, Casey, and your dad. Jack and Ben are the worst to have on your team because they are the most competitive and they get super pissed when you're not performing well. Your dad and Charlie were also really good at charades so you'd probably win.

It actually ended up being a lot of fun. Thankfully, Jack and Ben didn't get too worked up and of course everyone was drinking so everyone was laughing and having a good time. Your parents called it quits when Ben and Hailey left to go back to their house. The rest of you stayed up and talked for a while before everyone slowly tucked in for the night.

When you and Tyson finally laid down you were exhausted.

"Well tonight went much better than last…" Tyson said, pulling you closer to him.

"Yes...thankfully. I was a little nervous, Jack and Ben can be a little crazy when it comes to games."

Tyson chuckled, "you're one to talk…"

You scoffed, "hey! I am not that competitive."

"Um, I have a monopoly board that would say differently."

"Oh my god, okay, I was really drunk…I don't usually get like that."

"Whatever you say…"

You shook your head and reached over to turn the lamp off.

"Do we have to be up early tomorrow?" Tyson asked.

"No, I don't think so. I think we have to be at the church by 3."

"Perfect, I want to sleep in, I'm exhausted."

"I know, me too."

"Are you gonna sleep in?" He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist.

"I'm gonna try…why?"

"It was hard to keep sleeping once you got up…"

"You want me to stay in bed until you get up?"

"Pretty please?" He asked, sticking his lip out.

You shook your head and chuckled, "yes, I can do that, but not if it's super late!!"

"Okay, deal. Night, Y/n/N."

"Goodnight, Tys."

The next morning you were kicking yourself for the deal you made. You were so tangled up in Tyson it was going to be impossible to even move. You tried to carefully grab your phone so you could see what time it was. 9 am. You relaxed and began checking all of your social media. You were careful to avoid your DMs, you didn't want him to wake up and see anything that would upset him. Although you still wanted to know why he actually cared so much about Mat messaging you.

A little while the arm around your waist tightened and Tyson's head poked up.

"So much better when you're in bed with me." He said groggily. "…just wish we were naked."

"Tyson!" You said shooting up to a sitting position. You looked over at his smug little face. "You are such an asshole."

"You love me." He shrugged, putting an arm around you.

You rolled your eyes, "you disgust me."

You laid there quietly for a few minutes before Tyson spoke up again, "you ready for today?"

"Pretty sure that should be a question for the bride…"

“`Yes but the whole reason I’m here this weekend is to help you get through it.” “Okay, yeah...I’m sure it’ll be fine. Seeing you with me should shut everyone up.”

A smug grin appeared on Tyson’s face, “I can’t argue with you there…”

You shook your head and laughed before growing serious again. “I just am a little nervous about seeing Jake...I don’t know if he’s still drinking and I’m worried he’s going to cause a scene.”

“Well if he does than fuck that. It won’t be your fault either so don’t feel bad if he does.” “I know, it’s just, everyone has always pitied him and let things slide because he’s an alcoholic. I just don’t think my family will see it as his fault...they’ll blame it on me for bringing some new guy around even though that’s all they talk about. I just can’t win with them.”

“Okay, well let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here. Hopefully everything will be fine and we won’t have to worry about it. If it does, we’ll deal with it then, okay? Just try and relax and have fun. Weddings are supposed to be fun.”

“I know...thanks, Tys. I know I keep saying this but I really do appreciate you being here with me.”

“And I will keep telling you that it’s no big deal, sweets.” You smiled as he kissed your forehead. You were quiet for a few moments before he spoke up again. “So...have you heard from Mat at all?”

“Not since last night…” You said softly while Tyson just nodded. “Why?” Tyson shrugged, “just wondering.” You gave him a pointed look. “What? I am!”

“How come you seemed so upset about it last night?” “I didn’t mean to seem upset, I just, I don’t know, it caught me off guard. But I know you think he’s attractive so go for it I guess.” He said enthusiastically.

“Okay, well I don’t care what you say, it clearly bothers you in some way, so I’m not going to talk to him.”

Tyson rolled his eyes but didn’t argue so you figured that meant there was some truth in your statement.

You laid in bed for about another hour talking about random stuff before you got up to shower and start getting ready.

“Alright,” you started as you untangle yourself from Tyson, “I’m gonna get in the shower.” “Wanna save some water and shower together?” He asked with a cheeky grin, grabbing your wrist to keep you in place.

“Absolutely not.” You said as you shrugged his hand off of yours and walked out of the room.

Tyson looked up when you walked back into your room. He opened his mouth but you cut him off before he could even say anything.

“Whatever you’re about to say, the answer is no. Go get in the shower.”

Tyson pouted, but did as he was told, not before grabbing your ass on the way out with a little giggle. You rolled your eyes and went about getting ready.

You couldn’t help but glance over at Tyson as he strolled back through the door a few minutes later. The towel he had wrapped around his waist was starting to fall off of his hips and you had a clear picture of his V line. You hadn’t really noticed that you were staring until you heard Tyson start talking to you.

“Like what you see?”

You blushed and rolled your eyes turning back towards the mirror to finish your makeup.

Once you were finally done with your makeup, Tyson had stepped out of the room so you took the opportunity to put your dress on. You slipped it on and tried your best to zip it up but you couldn’t quite reach. When you heard the door open again you turned to ask Tyson for help.

“Hey Tys can you help me-” You stopped when you saw him staring at you. “Is everything okay? Is there something wrong with my dress?” You asked, starting to panic a bit.

“No, no, not at all. I, um, you just look really beautiful.”

You visibly relaxed and smiled at him. “Thanks, Tys. Could you help me zip up though?” He nodded and stepped towards you and turned back around so he could help you. You could feel Tyson’s breath on the back of your neck. Once he zipped you up you turned around slowly, Tyson not moving a muscle. You looked up at him, his face just inches from yours. He cupped your chin in his hand and he brought your face to his and kissed you softly. You closed your eyes and welcomed his lips on yours.

Tyson pulled away after a few moments and turned away. “Shit, I’m sorry, I…” He trailed off and sat on the bed.

You grew sad at his reaction. Although he initiated the kiss it seems like he also regrets it.

“It’s okay...I, um, I’m gonna go downstairs.” You said and quickly left the room. You ducked into the bathroom and leaned against the counter willing yourself not to cry so you wouldn’t ruin your makeup. You took a few deep breaths to compose yourself and you made your way to the door. Just as you were about to turn the knob there was a knock.

“Y/n/N? Can I come in?” It was Tyson. The tears that you just suppressed were quickly coming back. You opened the door and retreated back to the counter.

“Jesus, are you crying?” You covered your face with your hands because the tears were now rolling. “Please don’t cry Y/N. I didn’t mean to upset you, jesus…” he trailed off as he placed his hands on your shoulders. “Please stop crying...I don’t know why I did that…” “It’s fine, Tys, you got caught up in the moment, it’s fine.” “What? No, not the kiss...the kiss was amazing...I totally meant to do that. I don’t know why I pulled away like that. I guess I just thought maybe that’s not what you wanted and I thought I messed everything up. I guess I did that anyway…” You didn’t say anything and you didn’t move for a few moments. “Will you look at me please?” He asked, softly guiding your chin up to look at him. “I’m sorry, Y/n/N. Please don’t be upset.” “You’re wrong you know…” He gave you a puzzled look but you just kept going. “I’ve wanted you to kiss me so badly...for so long. I just thought maybe you regretted it and that’s why you pulled away…”

“Not at all, babe...not at all.” He said, moving in, grabbing the sides of your face and kissing you tenderly.

This time when he pulled away his hands stayed where they were and he wiped away the remaining tears with his thumbs. “God you are so gorgeous.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Tyson, I’m crying and my makeup is everywhere.”

“That’s what makes you so beautiful.”

You shook your head and smiled at him, taking his hands in yours and bringing them to your sides.

“Come on, let’s go get you fixed up.” He said, leading you back to your room.

It didn’t take you too long to fix your makeup, and before you knew it you heard your mom yell up the stairs telling you guys to hurry up. You grabbed your shoes and sat on the bed next to Tyson to put them on. You started to open the door to leave and Tyson took your hand to stop you.

“Tys, we need to go what ar-” He stopped you with another kiss that you melted into.

“I know, I’m sorry, I just can’t get enough of your lips right now…”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, “if we go now you can explore all of my lips later…”

Tyson’s eyes widened and he hurried both of you downstairs where the rest of your family was waiting.

~~~~~~

It was a beautiful day, although still pretty cold, the sun was shining and the snow was shimmering. The church looked gorgeous, they had decorated it with tons and tons of flowers, it looked like a garden and it was beautiful.

You held onto Tyson's arm as you followed the rest of your family to sit down. You got there on the earlier side, so there weren't too many people there yet. You found yourself looking back at the doors quite often, waiting for Jake to arrive. Tyson noticed, because you really weren't being very discrete about it, so he took your hand in his and squeezed it gently. You looked at him and smiled. You were so happy and relieved that you two finally shared how you felt and that you could finally be together. You wanted to believe that nothing would ruin such a beautiful day, but if anyone could, it would be Jake.

You were successfully distracted from the door by your brother's ridiculous argument over which of your cousins was going to get the most shitfaced. By the end of it you had placed $20 on who you thought I'd be.

When the ceremony was about to start, you looked to your left and your breath hitched. You grabbed Tyson's hand and looked at you before following your gaze across the room to where Jake was. He looked back and gave you a reassuring smile and kissed the side of your head. Thankfully, the music started to play and your focus was on the wedding party walking in.

The ceremony was beautiful, their vows were adorable, and all of the speakers and passages were very fitting. It wasn't too long either, which was also nice, you couldn't sit still for very long so you liked when things were quick.

Because of all of the people leaving the church, you avoided an encounter with Jake which you were glad about but you knew it was going to happen so the dread just set in. You were able to keep pretty busy throughout the night. Introducing Tyson to everyone and catching up with family you hadn't seen in a while. Tyson stayed by your side pretty much the whole night which was super comforting. You were nervous for him to leave you because you had caught Jake staring at you a few times, and you knew as soon as you were alone he was going to come up to you.

It didn't happen for a little while longer, which you didn't know if it was better or worse because you now had multiple vodka sodas in you. You had been sitting at the table with Tyson, taking a break from the dance floor, when your dad and uncles had come up to you and asked to steal Tyson. You tried to object but your uncles were insistent on spending a little time with him. You rolled your eyes and sat back, trying to push the anxious thoughts away. But that wasn't happening when you saw him approaching you. You tried to stand up but he grabbed your arm before you could take a step.

"Y/N, please. Just let me talk to you."

You sighed and sat down, making a point to shrug your arm out of his grip.

"So, who's the guy?"

"Tyson, my boyfriend." He scoffed at your reply. "What?" You asked.

"Nothing, I'm just surprised is all."

"Why?"

"Word on the street is, he's a professional athlete."

"So?"

"So, it's probably not going to last long. I wouldn’t say that you’re really his type."

"You don't know anything about me, Jake. We haven't talked in years. And I would really like to keep it that way, so please, leave me alone."

"Oh, come on, Y/n/N. Don't be like that. I wasn't that bad, you blew things way out of proportion."

"Did I? Because I'm pretty sure if your dad wasn't as good of friends with my uncle that you would have been in jail, not rehab. You're lucky you got off as well as you did. Me? I didn't get off that easy. You really fucked me up. I couldn't get near a guy for a year because of you. You were abusive. You were an asshole. And I wish that I hadn't wasted so many years of my life with you." You weren't really sure where you got the nerve to say all that, because as soon as it came out of your mouth you were scared of how he was going to react. He opened his mouth, but before he could get a word out, you heard a voice behind you.

"I believe the lady has spoken, you can go now."

To your surprise, he walked right away. It was probably Tyson towering over him that scared him off.

"Well, I was feeling badly that I left you out in the open but it appears my girlfriend is a total badass and was fine on her own…" He commented, wrapping his arms around you and placing his chin on top of your head.

"Yeah, well I'm surprised too. I have no idea why I thought that would be a good idea. I'm not sure what would have happened if you hadn't come over."

"Well, hopefully we never have to find out…are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. It felt good to get that out."

"Good, fuck that guy."

"Yeah, fuck that guy." You said agreeing with him as you let go. "I need another drink…a stiff one."

"Anything for you, my love."

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, however you downed a few more drinks and were very drunk. Tyson helped you to the car and then up to your room once you got home.

You stripped out of your dress and pounced on Tyson.

"Whoa, easy there killer." He said catching you and placing you gently on the bed.

You kissed for a few minutes before he climbed off of you. "Alright, bedtime."

"What?! Tyson…" you whined. "I've been waiting so long for this."

“Oh have you?!” He asked, quirking his eyebrows.

“Yes, now pleeeeeease.” She whined.

“You’re too drunk, and besides it’s a little weird with your parents down the hall.”

"Ugh, fiiiine." You pouted, taking your bra off and getting comfy in the bed.

"Can you put a shirt on?"

"Oh my god, Tyson, what is wrong with you?"

"I don't know if I can control myself laying with you naked all night. Just please." He said, throwing you one of his shirts.

You sighed and put his shirt over your head. He climbed into bed next to you and wrapped his arms around you.

"I'm so glad you came with me this weekend, Tys."

"Me too, I don't think I could have lasted much longer just as your neighbor."

"Yeah, it was starting to really get to me…"

"What do you mean?"

"I just was thinking that I was going to have to distance myself because I couldn't suppress my feelings anymore…"

"Well, then I'm definitely glad we had this weekend, I would have been really sad if you did that."

"I don't know if I could live with myself if I made you sad…not to mention I'd have Landy on my ass."

"He's been texting me all weekend."

"Really? Why?"

"Updates on if we're together or not."

"Did you tell him?"

"Nah, I want to mess with him a bit."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, "what are you gonna do?"

"I'm just going to tell him that we had an awful weekend, we got into a huge fight and we're not even friends anymore."

"You're awful."    

"But when I finally tell him that we are together now, he'll be so happy he won't even care."

"Okay, just leave me out of it!"

"Oh you're in it now. We're partners for life."

"For life?"

"I hope so."

"Me too." You said with a small smile. You turned so you were now facing him. "Goodnight, Tys." You said softly, giving him a kiss before snuggling into his chest.

"Goodnight, Y/n/N."

~~~~~~~

The next day you had a big brunch with your family before everyone went their separate ways again. Now that you and Tyson were actually together you were so much more relaxed. Despite the hangovers, everyone was laughing and joking around. You were actually a little sad that you were leaving. But, you were excited to get out of your parent's house and spend some alone time with Tyson.

After what seemed like a never ending goodbye, you and Tyson were finally on the road back to Denver. The car ride was much more pleasurable. Again, you were more relaxed, the weekend was behind you, and you frankly couldn't wait to get back.

When you pulled into the garage, you grabbed all of your bags and headed upstairs. You parted ways so you could put your bags down. A few minutes later, Tyson strolled through your front door. You were grabbing a glass of water in the kitchen, so you got one for him too and then you went back to your room so you could unpack and start some laundry.

"Do you want to bring your laundry over here?" You asked him as you gathered your dirty clothes.

"It's alright, I can do it later."

"I don't mind, Tys. I'm doing it anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, go get it."

Tyson gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and walked off to go get his laundry.

Once you had a load going the two of you went and sat on the couch. You started off just talking but then ended up making out a bit. Tyson was now lying on top of you and things were starting to get heated when his phone rang. "Shit," he muttered as he rummaged around trying to find it on the couch. "It's Landy, I have to answer, I told him to call me."

You rolled your eyes but sat up next to him as he settled back.

"Hey, man." He greeted solemnly. You mouthed for him to put it on speaker.

"Hey, are you home? What happened?"

"Yeah, I'm home…um, things didn't go so well."

"Oh no...what happened?"

"Well, things with her family weren't good to start with. Then the first night we got into a fight about her brothers, and then we got into another argument the next day and I almost just left…I ended up staying but I don't think we're really even friends anymore…"

"WHAT?! Why wouldn't you be friends anymore? What did you do???"

You had to suppress your laughter at Tyson's face when Gabe insinuated it was something he did and not you.

"Why would you think it was something I did?!" Tyson asked, obviously very offended.

"It's Y/N…she just doesn't do anything wrong."

"Okay, well, I don't know. We need a break from each other."

"What the hell, Tyson? Did you even tell her how you feel?"

"I was going to, but I figured telling her after we just had a screaming match wouldn't be the best idea."

"You screamed at each other??? Jesus, what did you fight about?"

"Mat Barzal."

"What?!"

"Yeah he DM'd her on Instagram and it pissed me off."

"Seriously? You screamed at her?! That's not even her fault, man."

"I know, I shouldn't have gotten upset with her, but I did, and now we're just giving each other some space."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Go over to her place right now and make things right."

"I can't, man."

"You can, and you will."

"No, I really can't."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm already over here."

"What?"

"I'm just messing with you, Landy. We're dating now."

"Are you kidding me?! Y/N are you there? Were you in on this??"

"I wanted no part in it!!!"

"Ugh, Tyson, I want to be so mad at you right now, but I'm too happy for you!! It's about time, though. We were going to give you guys like another week, tops, before we took matters into our own hands."

You and Tyson both laughed, "who is we?!" You asked.

"Me, Mel, basically the whole team…"

"Well I'm glad we have lots of supporters." You commented as Tyson pursed his lips.

"NO one will be butting into this relationship…I'm serious Landy."

"I'm sorry that's not the way it works, Josty." Tyson rolled his eyes but you just giggled. "Anyway, I'm glad you two love birds finally figured it out. Have a good rest of your day and use protection!!!"

Tyson rolled his eyes again and hung up on Landy. "We're turning our phones off and spending the rest of the day in the bedroom." He commanded as he put his phone down on the coffee table. He looked at you signifying for you to do the same and you obeyed then followed him into your bedroom.

[jojoreadwhat]

Don't build me up just to let me down | b.h. x fem!reader

a/n; okay so this isn’t this preview I posted about (still working on it but I keep getting other ideas for more pieces) I wanted to give you something to keep you on your toes. I tagged as many (tumblr has a limit, sry) from my last Ben teases as a thank you for being supportive, even when I’m all over the place. y’all are amazing ✨

prompt; fem!reader is in love with Ben and hes blind to it.

words; 2k

mentions; joe mazzello

this tale includes foul language, angst, which may lead to kisses and fluffiness.

inspiration;

You sat in the back of Rooney’s, about a block away from work with your best friend, Ben. Talking over drinks while waiting for your food to be prepared.

Venting about the three days of work you’ve endured, “I swear, if Elizabeth places another assignment on my desk. My face is going to be on the news.” You harped, taking a sip of your soda pop.

Ben chuckled at you, flashing his pearly whites behind his plump smirk. “Says the girl who can barely kill a spider.” You stuck your tongue at the stunning blonde fellow sitting across you in the booth.

“I can be a tough gal when I want to be!” Defending yourself, “Sure.” He winked at you, rolling your eyes to his words. “Just wait till 11pm, I’ll prove you wrong, alright.”

Ben nodded his head, reassuringly with sarcasm spread across his face as he reached for his phone next to him on the table, passing some time.

You and Ben have been known each other for about three years now. The both of you met during a gallery opening for a mutual friend of yours. Since then you were inseparable, especially when your schedules were obliging. Whenever Ben was back from filming movies, you were around each other. Lunches together, were hanging out, texting non-stop and even being each other’s date to any event either of you had. You went to each other for everything, talked about everything to anything. You were pretty lucky, who knew a comment on a photograph would give you, your best friend.

Still waiting on your food to be brought out, you noticed Ben was up to something as well. His plump pink lips, curling upwards as his tongue poked a bit, grazing against his top lip, making it glisten.

“And what are we smiling about Benjamin?” You broke his distraction, his green eyes meeting yours as you wiggled your eyebrows, tauntingly.

Ben’s cheeks turned a shade a red, rolling his eyes before they found yours again. “Cecilia.”

Cecilia? A new girl? You thought first.

What about Annie?

Since you’ve known Ben, he’s had a little track record for being a loose cannon. When you met, he had gotten out of a long term relationship and hasn’t had a proper girlfriend since.

In a way you were kinda okay with that, because selfishly, you were hoping it would be you.

You have a weak smile, “Ah, she sounds pretty.” Trying to keep the conversation going, hoping he wasn’t noticing the knot twisting in your stomach by the look on your face.

From the beginning, you always had feelings for Ben. You thought you were going to start dating by the way things were. That was until he opened up about his last relations and his want to stay single for a while. You respected that and that’s how the friendship came more into view.

Of course, you became too close for comfort, many would say. You had no problems with cuddles, staying each other’s beds after late nights of drinking or binge watching movies and shows. At first it was just friendly, how you guys worked. Shortly when you noticed your feelings weren’t so platonic, you didnt say anything about them, you didn’t put an end to the currents. You kept the little perks going because it made Ben feel like more than a friend.

Ben went on about Cecilia, how they met, what she looked like as he flashed his phone at you. She was pretty, just like you said about her name. All common talk and you took it as the good friend you are, listening to him gush.

“She’s really nice,” looking down at his phone, locking it up. “We have a date on Saturday night, it’s our first.”

That’s when you weren’t okay with it anymore. That same knot pulled to its limits within you. Ben and you were supposed to go out on Saturday night. He was going to be your date.

Caught up in your thoughts, your feelings, you didn’t realize the blonde fellow was still talking to you. “Y/N?” He called, looking at you weary.

“Hm?” You hummed.

“You alright, love?” Ugh, he was only making it worse. Slowly you nodded, “Yeah, um. Go on?”

He was still peering at you, strangely. “Any advice?”

He was asking you advice on his date? He never did this before, ever. What was going on? You felt overwhelmed.

Shrugging, “Just be yourself.” not sure what else to say except what you should’ve told him from the beginning. You looked down at your phone, a clear screen but it was quickest get away.

“I’ve gotta go. Elizabeth needs me.” You announced, standing up from the booth. Ben squinted his eyebrows to you, “is everything alright? Our food hasn’t come yet.” Sincerely worried by you.

You shook your head, grabbing your coat, fumbling through your purse for a few dollars. “Lunch is on me, I’m sorry, Ben.” Placing the bills on the table before you shimmied out of the booth. Without a goodbye.

“I’ll text you.” You heard Ben yell as you reached the door and on to work you went.

+

It’s been a week since Ben has heard from you. He’d text you, in the beginning he would get one worded replies to then nothing. He called you, going straight to voicemail. He drove by your apartment and no answer. Your work wasn’t much help either, saying you in meetings and such like you told them to do. He was really worried about you.

Ben sat on his sofa with a beer on the coffee table and a controller in hand as Joe and him played FIFA.

“So a week?” Joe questioned, his eyes still on the tv. “That’s really unusual of y/n.”

Ben nodded, leaning to grab a sip of his beverage, “I don’t know what happened. I last seen her for lunch and she left abrupt because of work”

Joe knew you the same amount of time Ben did since Ben introduced you two. Unlike Ben, Joe was quite aware of your crush on Ben. He had found out at a party way back when, the stares you gave Ben were a dead giveaway. He wasn’t going to let you live it down until you told him that Ben didn’t know and this was “something you needed to work out on your own.” You quoted to him.

He paused the game, “Alright?” Ben raised a brow, looking at his red headed friend for explanations.

“Let’s figure this out.” Joe said, clearing his throat after a swig of his beer. “What happened during lunch?”

Ben sat up straight now, his hands meeting in the openness of his lap. Trying to think back to the last Wednesday he seen you.

“Ehm, we talked about her job. Elizabeth was putting a lot on her plate.” He began, Joe listened carefully. He knew that wasn’t a culprit. “Go on.”

Ben closed his eyes for a second, “oh” he spoke, “I talked about an upcoming date with Cecilia.”

Joe smiled, toothlessly. “Bingo.”

Ben looked at him, confused. “What do you mean “bingo”?” Joe then placed his hand on his friends shoulder.

“It’s not for me to explain. But I know that’s a reason why she left in a hurry.” He explained, “She and I quote, has something to tell you that she needs to tell you herself. Go try and see if she’s home again.”

+

After the confusing conversation with Joe, Ben jumped into his car and headed to your apartment. Still trying to figure out what you had to explain, it was eating at him but he wasn’t going to let this go. He needed to know what was going on.

You were cooped up in living room, snuggled in a plush throw, eating popcorn and watching a marathon of the office by yourself when you heard a banging at your door. 

Spooked, you muted your tv and rised from the sofa. Slowly making your way to the door and picking up a vase.

“Y/N, open up!” It was Ben, “I know you’re in there.”

You sighed to yourself, placing the vase back where it was before heading to the door and unlocking it.

The blonde, dressed in grey joggers and hoodie that match with slippers. Stood on your front step, staring at you with his green eyes almost glowing from the little light hanging above outside.

“Hi?” You greeted, not knowing how to exactly redeem your week absence. Ben’s brows raised, like he was surprised to even hear you speak, let alone answer the door in the first place.

“Can I come in?” Asking, you looked at the ground before you nodded. Backing up with the door in front of you as he let himself in.

You closed the door after he had entered, following him to the living room. It was quiet for the most part, watching Ben looking over the screen of the tv and the current state of your living room as you were cozied up for a night in.

“Do you want something to-”

“An explanation, yes.” He commanded, then. Looking right at you now, you folded your arms in front of your chest. Closing your open sweater, tighter to you.

“There’s nothing to explain? I’ve been busy, I guess.”

Ben didn’t by it for a minute, looking at you dumbfounded, briefly. Knowing you well enough to know you were lying. “Bull shit.”

Your eyes shot up at him from his words, Ben had a potty mouth but nothing ever directed towards you. “What’s going on? Everyone seems to know more than I do.”

Raising your brow, “What do you mean?” You asked, trying to figure out what was going on compared to what you thought he was here for.”

“Joe told me you had something to say to me that needed to come from you.” Your mouth dropped, you were going to kill Joe the next time you seen him.

Immediately you pushed back your hair, stressed out by being put on the spot. “So what’s going on?” He repeated.

You bit your lip, looking down at your feet before looking up at him again, his green eyes searching every inch of you for answers through your silence. Sighing, you rolled your eyes.

“I was mad.” You began, folding your arms across your chest again, standing at the end of your couch as Ben stood almost in front of you, near the coffee table. His brows furrowed, “Why?”

“Because of your date. I didn’t want it to happen. You were supposed to hang out with me that day.” Feeling the brim of your eyes becoming moistened. Ben still had a confused look on his face, “Is that it?” His deep raspy voice asking.

You looked to the ground between you, shaking your head. “No,”

“I was more upset because it wasn’t me.” You admitted, “I wasn’t Cecilia. I wasn’t the ‘date’ you were gushing over. I’ve been pissed at every date you have,” you felt tears steaming your cheeks now, looking up at him.

“But I’ve been so in love with you, that I’ve allowed it to just hang over. Then you asked me for advice and you never do that. I knew this girl was going to be something for you if you were going all that length to impress her.”

Your hand met your mouth now, feeling the wetness of your face from crying as you spoke. Feeling relieved, scared, in disbelief that all of those words hit the air finally.

Ben didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say because he wasn’t sure how to explain that he’s been waiting to hear you say that all this time. He was just as in love with you, maybe even more than you could imagine. He wanted nothing more than those girls to be you, some of them were just dinner dates because his feelings were too unbearable to want to be with anyone else. So unbearable that he called off the date with Cecilia moments after you walked out of the restaurant.

You stared at Ben gazing right back at you. You thought your heart was going to explode by the minutes passing in silence. You couldn’t tell what he he was thinking right now but it was eating you alive.

“Please say something.” You muttered, still searching him. You watched as his face straightened, shaking his head. “No”

You felt your heart drop to your feet. “No?” You questioned, he gripped his bottom lip between his teeth.

“No.” He said again, getting closer to you as your eyes never left his. “Because I rather do this.”

Before you could register what he meant, Ben wrapped his hands around your face and crashed his lips upon yours. You didn’t kiss back right away, but when one hand slipped to the middle of your back. Your lips moved in sync of his, feeling warm, soft against yours. Reaching up with your hand to his neck and fingers wrapping themselves in his golden locks as your lips swell under his. Completely lost in your sense, trying to realize this wasn’t a dream you were experiencing.

Ben pulled away, still close as you felt his breath featherlight as your lips as you caught air. “You alright?”

You nodded, your hands still in his hair as you looked in his eyes, still feeling like a dream.

“As long as you keep doing that. I will be.” Ben dropped his head slightly, chuckling at your breathless words, meeting your eyes again. Before his lips met yours once again.

tag list - @chocolatekisses8 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @blitchen @fairestkillerqueenofall @deakydeacs @bamfkurt @queen-turtle-boiii @bashfulshy @prettylittlegoldfish @spicyarreagaa @jonesyaddiction @strawberry-blondie @m90schick @deadlyaffairs @ihatethespacebars @rocknrollqueenie @winters0ul @grapesondolan @chubbybunnybenny @borhapwifey @pamacs-macs @rogerinahardy1 @gaycarolz @slytherinxval @crazylittlethingcalledtina @oxuminaa @mrsobrien-stilinski @the-southernbelle @rogerina-hardy @verar1 @flapjackjackass @oofsweetgg @jessicaa-the-weirdo @shi-tmp3 @sunflower653348 @michael-is-bae @cupcake09cup @randomfandomshitposts @ashadoresbenhardy @lilpxnda @muscleshirtgamewasstrong @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @choc-chip-chick @roger-taylors-drumsticks

[aswallowssong]

Second Child, Restless Child

Chapter 7 - The World Outside Calling Me

@valkyrie-5583​

Read on AO3

Y’all, it happened. We’re finally updating. It would not have happened if @themetaphorgirl​ had talked me off the ledge so thank you Caitlin. Also thanks to my sweet little duckling of a sister, @starstwinkleplanetsshine​, for always reading my drafts, from like, the start of time. OKAY SO

Section Chief Ramos is the least helpful person on the planet, Kit and Hotch have a ridiculously uncomfortable conversation, and Gideon finally confronts nobody's favorite liaison/nurse.

or

In which Kit feels really lost, really sad, and really unsure of her job. 

She would have rather been anywhere else. She would have rather been in Gideon’s office being chewed out for speaking out of turn, or back in the ER during flu season, or facing down an unsub without Morgan.

Anywhere but in front of Section Chief Ramos’s office door, tapping her foot and clenching and unclenching her fingers. She needed to stop messing with the seams on her scrub pants - they were starting to wear - but she didn’t want him to open the door and see her pulling at her hair. She did a good job of masking her quirks and outlets for her pent up energy in the clinic with everything moving at such a rapid pace, but standing in front of the door, waiting for it to open? That was torture. Regardless of the fact that Ramos chose her to represent the clinic, and therefore the health department, as part of the Health Liaison trial run, she knew he didn’t like her very much. 

Ramos didn’t like anyone very much.

He let her stand like that for seven minutes before the door opened. Ramos wasn’t exactly a large man. He had nothing on Hotch, who towered like a giant over her and gave off every vibe you would expect from someone in the FBI. Instead, his entire intimidating demeanor was in his eyes. Eyes that were glaring right at her.

“Nurse Colghain,” he said. There was no hint of kindness about him. “Come in.”

She followed him into the room and sat where he directed. His office was more clinical than Hotch’s, which she guessed made sense considering he was the Health Department/Academy Clinic’s Section Chief, but still. He could use some pictures of the wife he was rumored to have. Instead, he had plaques and other achievements around. Egotistical. Narcissistic. She gave a minute shake of her head to will the thoughts away.

I need to spend less time with the profilers.

“This is your monthly review,” he said, jarring her from her thoughts. She nodded, unsure of what else to do. When he didn’t continue right away she awkwardly nodded again. “Yes, sir.”

“You began the pilot Health and Wellness Liaison position on January tenth. Today’s date is February twenty second. In this meeting we will review position requirements, health meeting reviews, and you will give a report of duties and activities you have been able to complete in this time, as well as any other pertinent information to assess the validity of this pilot position. Do you understand the purpose of this meeting?”

She raised an eyebrow at him, looking down to see a small device with a red light blinking sitting right next to his hand.

Ah.

He was recording it. Ramos was formal, but not that formal. She wondered who would hear what she was about to say.

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

“Good. Let’s begin.”

The first part was easy. Just reviewing her position requirements, which she’d long since memorized for both her Head position, and her position at the BAU. Normally they had quarterly reviews, but because of the infancy of her position, Kit had been notified they would be monthly “until further notice.” She assumed that would mean they would be more like a check-in. Shorter.

She was so incredibly mistaken.

After the first part Ramos leaned back in his chair, something shifting in his eyes and the atmosphere in the room. He was smug. As if he’d caught her in a trap. 

“Nurse Colghain,” he said with a little too much confidence. Not Agent Colghain, like Hotch would have said. Nurse. Which, while it was a title she was proud of, he didn’t even call her Head Nurse. Just nurse. One of nearly fifty on staff. Insignificant. Replaceable.

“Please tell me how many Health and Wellness meetings you are required to give a month.”

“Two, sir,” she answered easily. “Every other week, if cases allow, but two a month.”

Ramos nodded, something like mirth cutting across his face. “Then tell me, Nurse Colghain, why have you only held one meeting in nearly six weeks?”

She stared at him for a moment before blinking. “As I said, sir,” she started cautiously. She was being recorded. She would defend herself professionally. “Every other week, if cases allow. As we said before, I’m required to travel for cases related to medical, as well as others, in order to be present for twenty-five percent of out of town cases.”

“And those cases made it impossible for two health meetings to happen over a six week period?”

He was right. She could have made it work, but between Gideon and them going on cases without her, it was hard to find the courage to force the BAU team to sit down and listen to her harp on diet for any length of time. They were busy. She’d seen first hand how their cases wore on them. She’d experienced the wear herself. 

“It wasn’t practical based on the number of cases over the last six weeks to take time away from either reports or research for a meeting about one of the approved health topics.”

“Wasn’t practical?”

“No, sir,” She said, voice becoming quieter and more timid as Ramos’s presence in the room seemed to increase. A hand ran over the outside seam on the leg of her scrubs. It itched to tug gently at her braid, but she didn’t dare. 

He let there be silence for a moment before he leaned forward towards her. His eyes had narrowed. “Twenty-five percent of cases, Nurse Colghain. That leaves seventy-five percent of your time free to plan and execute the required health meetings.”

She shook her head. “Sir, it’s twenty-five percent of out of town cases. My original duties stated I was to be a part of all in town cases.”

He scoffed. “And what percentage of your time would you say is taken up by cases, in general?”

“Thirty seven percent.”

Ramos looked stunned, and Kit gave herself one moment to be glad she’d been listening to Reid the Friday before when he was rattling off percentages for her. She’d asked because she was worried she would be under the twenty five percent minimum, and was pleasantly surprised to learn she was over. 

“That leaves-”

“Plus,” she continued, not letting him get ahead of her, “My team travels on cases without me, too. They were gone another thirty seven percent of the days in the last six weeks, which means that even if I was preparing for a meeting, they weren’t there for me to give it. And we spent three days working on a consultation, which was medical related, and filling out reports for a poisoning case in New Jersey. That’s what, fifteen, sixteen percent? And SSA Hotchner was out one day, which only leaves five-”

“Nurse Colghain,” he warned, “I believe you are far too comfortable. Throwing around percentages as if I am unaware of how you spend your time based on the reports you submit to me.”

She blinked at him for a moment, deflating. The confidence she had spouting numbers withered away under his glare. “But, you- you asked for the percentage.”

“For one. I don’t need a math lesson from a clinic nurse.”

Ouch.

She crossed her arms over her chest, staring down at her knees and staying quiet. She wanted out of Ramos’s office. Back to the clinic where she knew she wouldn’t be questioned. 

“This month, I expect three meetings.”

Her eyes snapped up, jaw falling open. “Sir?”

“Three, Nurse Colghain.”

“But-”

“Full reports and reviews. Understood?”

She stared at him for a moment before nodding her head in submission. She wasn’t going to win an argument with Ramos without getting written up, and it wasn’t worth it to aggravate an already aggressive situation.

“Understood?” He repeated with a little more force, and she found her resolve buckling under his harsh tone.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Let’s talk about the meeting you were able to have.”

Let’s talk about literally anything else. Let’s go back to arguing over correct percentages and health meetings that haven’t happened yet. Let me, I don’t know, punch myself in the face repeatedly instead.

Íosa Críost, Kody. Dramatic much?

“The Health and Wellness meeting regarding sleep, sir?” She asked tentatively. Ramos wrote for a while before he addressed her again, setting his pen down and pulling out seven forms from a manila folder. The review surveys filled out by the BAU team.

“Yes. I have the reviews here, written by the Behavioral Analysis Unit, and I will be honest in telling you that the director was… surprised by the results.”

Her heart sank. Surprised couldn’t be good and with the way she’d slammed the forms onto the table in front of them all and stormed off without a word. It hadn’t quite been a week, and they had gone on a case without her on Sunday afternoon. She hadn’t seen them since the Friday after it had happened.

She’d kept to herself, too, and had chickened out of talking to Gideon, telling herself she had meetings to plan and case reports to finish. Morgan had been the only one to try to talk to her, even offering to go to Gideon with her, but she’d declined, and the only reason she’d spoken to Reid was to get the percentages that Ramos had just ostracized her for.

Her tantrum of sorts was embarrassing at best, and after she worked a whole clinic shift, did a full set with her cúpla at the bar, and slept on it, she wasn’t really ready to face him. Any of them. It had been a relief when she’d shown up to the office and found that they’d flown off to Middle-of-Nowhere, Nebraska, population five dead girls and a terrified town.

Kit sat forward in her chair, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Surprised, sir?”

Ramos nodded, face morphing as he gave off a wave of annoyance. “Yes, pleasantly surprised. It isn’t often that a meeting ends with a positivity rating of one hundred percent.”

Kit’s eyebrows pulled together as her jaw went slack, eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to process what he’d said. One hundred percent positivity rating. How was that possible?

“I don’t understand, sir,” she finally said, “All of them? They were all positive?”

He nodded, though looked as if it truly pained him to do so. “Yes. All seven reviews were positive regarding your content and professionalism. Some more positive than others, of course, but all positive.”

“Even Gideon’s?” She said before she could stop herself, not believing what she was hearing. There was no way that Gideon had given her a positive review. There was no way that anyone had given her a positive review. She’d argued with him. She’d slammed the surveys into the round table and abruptly finished their meeting before stomping out. She had to be missing something. Or, being punked. Did the FBI punk people?

Ramos raised an eyebrow at her. “I cannot show you the reports, as it’s a matter of confidentiality, but yes. SSA Gideon is a part of the BAU team, which would mean that his review survey of your meeting was positive.”

It should have made her feel better. It should have made her feel good to hear that Gideon, who she was sure without a doubt hated her, gave her a positive meeting review. Especially considering the fact that he was the one she had been arguing with before she so ceremoniously took her leave. She should have been settled, and put at peace over it.

It should have made her feel better.

It didn’t.

It pissed her off. 

Lying to fit the mold didn’t seem to be Gideon’s style, and the fact that he’d done it, to her, made her furious.

“Are we done here?” She spouted without thinking. She suddenly felt like she was vibrating, and she needed out of Ramos’s clinical office and the uncomfortable chair she was sitting in. 

He sighed, setting down the review surveys and folding his hands on top of them.

“I have one last thing.”

She shifted in the chair, but stayed quiet. The longer she was quiet and listened, the faster she could probably leave. Anger pulsed through her chest, and she knew exactly where it was going once she was done listening to whatever annoying thing Ramos wanted to finish with.

“Before, you said my team in reference to the BAU.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes, sir.”

“They are not your team. You are not a part of their team.”

She watched as his eyes went hard, his voice slow and simple as if he was explaining something to a child. Some of the ice that had hardened over her heart started to melt, her anger ebbing slightly as her chest started to swim in the melting slurry. 

“I’m sorry?” She asked.

“You are not a part of their team. You are a part of the health department. The clinic staff.”

“But,” she started, “Hotch said-”

“SSA Hotchner is your point of contact for the BAU. He isn’t your supervisor. I am. You report to me. And you, Nurse Colghain, are separate. A liaison. A connecting point. Not a part of the disorganized, ridiculous mess the Behavioral Analysis Unit has become.”

“The BAU is full of incredibly talented people.”

Morgan. Elle. Hotch. Reid.

She’d seen them work first hand, many times in her six weeks with them, and she was always confused as to why people didn’t seem to understand the magnificence of what they did. She could read people’s emotions, sure, and very well. She’d give herself that. But what they did? What each one of them did? It impressed her to no end. Even Gideon, when he wasn’t pissing her off, was an incredible profiler to watch.

“The BAU worries about finding maniacs,” Ramos said dismissively. “You worry about keeping people alive.”

She shook her head, sitting straight up in her chair. “Profiling keeps people alive.”

Ramos shrugged, clicking off the recorder before looking her dead in the eyes. “And you are not a profiler, Nurse Colghain. You are a nurse. Right now, you’re splitting two positions, and not doing one incredibly well. A questionable liaison. Arguably, a decent nurse.”

Questionable. Arguably decent.

“They are a team,” he continued. “You are a clinic nurse, and you will never be more than that. Do I make myself clear?”

Kit let her eyes hold his for a moment. Every bit of her icy anger had melted, leaving her feeling upset, and sloshy, and confused. Hotch assured her all the time that she was a part of their team, but Ramos was her supervisor. He was in charge of her position, and he told her she wasn’t a part of the BAU team. She never would be. She didn’t belong.

She didn’t feel like she belonged in the clinic anymore, either. Between only being there three days a week, once on the weekend when she’d never worked that rotation before, and the traveling for cases that sometimes took more than one day, she had lost some of the “home” feeling she associated with the clinic and her nurses.

I don’t belong much of anywhere.

“Yes, sir.”

She finished her clinic shift quietly. That wasn’t necessarily unusual. Unlike the last six weeks in the BAU, the clinic was never something new. Always something different, but never anything that was surprising or particularly stressful. She could spend days upon days quietly directing with very few words, saving the most gentle and caring ones for younger academy cadets that were very far away from home and either sick or broken. Something about nursing softened her. It always had.

The BAU did the opposite. Somehow, in only six weeks, it had brought a part of her out that she hadn’t known for a long time. The part that smoked cigarettes under the bleachers during study hall and complained loud and long about music lessons and stepdance, though she secretly loved both. That wore dark lipstick so she wouldn’t look just like Monty. Who had more detentions than both her cúpla, though both Ari and Monty had their fair share. 

The BAU brought out the part of her that argued. That fidgeted and got frustrated and stood up for herself. The part of her that was confident. The part of her that was trouble.

While her rebellious nature had taken time to soften all those years ago, Ramos had stripped her of its reprise in an hour's time. She stood for far too long after her shift was over, staring at the outside of the locker she shared with Monty. She’d dodged her twin by hiding in the bathroom until five o’clock had come and gone. The chipped paint of their shared space was partially covered by the plastic name plate that sat in the top middle, reading, “D. Colghain / M. Colghain.” 

They’d requested to share a locker, and now three days a week, it was empty when Monty came. They didn’t get to meet in the break room and exchange quips back and forth before Monty had to work, and Kit had to go home without having seen her other half, the fire to her ice, before she figured out something for Ari and her to eat, plunging into sleep before he could ask her about the things she saw with the BAU.

So, after her meeting with Ramos, and the rest of her shift, Kit had been sure to clear out long before Monty was there. She didn’t want to talk to Monty, because Monty didn’t get it. No one really could. She was in a strange position that not one person had been in before, and all Monty would do was remind her that the clinic was her home, like Ramos had, even though the clinic didn’t feel entirely like home anymore.

She didn’t belong at the BAU. She never would. Ramos made it very clear she wasn’t supposed to let herself.

What the hell am I doing? What am I supposed to do? 

You could talk to Hotch, Kody. He has kind eyes. He’s nothing like Ramos.

Ramos’s words echoed in her ears.

SSA Hotchner is your point of contact for the BAU. He isn’t your supervisor. I am. You report to me. And you, Nurse Colghain, are separate.

“What the hell am I going to do?” she mumbled in her mother tongue, staring at the locker a few minutes longer before she started for the metro station.

-----

Kit stood outside the glass doors the next morning earlier than she normally would. Instead of the anger she felt the day before in Ramos’s office, anxiety lived in her chest. She’d popped her fingers so many times the night before that they were sore, and she was thankful it was still February so she could wear a thick sweater that covered the red marks she’d scratched into her forearms. She hadn’t realized she’d been doing it, and while it hadn’t gone on enough to draw blood, they’d stung in the shower and looked much more angry than they felt. She usually pushed up the sleeves of her sweaters and cardigans, because she hated the way the cuffs felt around her wrists, but she had already mentally prepared herself to leave them down and deal with the annoyance all day.

Time passed faster than she thought it would, and when she was grabbed gently by the shoulder she jolted, turning and shifting into a defensive position without having to think. It didn’t reach her that she was fairly unlikely to be attacked on the sixth floor of their FBI building, but Hotch was clearly unphased by her reaction, hands up in front of him to signal his intent.

“Sorry, I called your name twice,” he said evenly. “I could tell you weren’t quite grounded.”

She took a breath before relaxing, hands coming not down to her sides, but to settle on top of her backpack straps. Her hands clutched tightly around them, and she took another breath before saying, “I um. I wasn’t. Thanks.”

Hotch nodded, picking up his briefcase from the ground and nodding towards the double doors she had just been staring at. She followed behind him as he walked through the door. “How was your meeting with Ramos?” He asked, clearly attempting to be casual. While it should have made her feel good, and included, it just made the weight that had been vibrating around her chest settle deeper.

You aren’t included, Kody. You’re separate.

“It was informative.” 

“Anything I need to know?” he asked as they walked. The casual, conversational tone of his voice sounded less forced than before, and it made her chest feel tighter and tighter as their steps synced. Six weeks didn’t seem like a long time, but she felt like she’d been splitting with the BAU a lot longer. 

She needed to force that all down and away.

“No, Agent Hotchner. Though, I will be required to give three talks by the end of March. We were short last month, and Section Chief Ramos made it very clear that it’s unacceptable.”

Hotch stopped short, turning and raising an eyebrow at her. She didn’t call him Agent Hotchner, she hadn’t in six weeks. The confusion and concern coming off of him set the weight in her chest even deeper, and she worried at her lip between her bottom teeth as she waited for him to affirm her request.

“Of course,” he finally said, “Though that should be on me. It was a busy month, but I should have made time.”

“No, Chief Ramos made it very clear that it’s my responsibility. I’d like to do one this week, if possible. Friday, if your team isn’t on a case.”

Hotch looked at her with searching eyes, and she could tell he was profiling her. She didn’t need to ask, she knew the look by then. They all had one, and this was Hotch’s.

There’s no inter-team profiling. Even he agrees with Ramos.

“Is there something bothering you, Colghain?” He asked finally, both of them stopped in their tracks. “Something Ramos said?”

She shook her head quickly. If she said something, she would probably get in trouble. She reported to Ramos, not Hotch, and it was clear she was on thin ice.

“No, sir. I just want to do my job well.”

“Is it Gideon?” He continued, dropping his voice though there was no one else in the bullpen. It was too early. “I spoke with him about the meeting last week. He said he would talk to you once we got back, but if you need me to-”

“No,” she said quickly. There was more force behind her words than she intended, and she watched as Hotch shifted from offensive, to defensive. “No, thank you,” she tried again, softening both her tongue and her body language. “It’s nothing. Really.”

“If Ramos made you uncomfortable-”

“Stop.”

Kit shook her head too quickly at him, watching the miniscule shift in his face. He’d flooded the space around them with a level of concern she couldn’t handle. She couldn’t have him care about her.

He shouldn’t care about her. She wasn’t one of his to worry about.

She fiddled with her fingers, letting her hands tug at her sleeves, but not push them up. “Listen, Agent Hotchner, I appreciate your assurance that I’m a part of this team, but I’d like you to stop telling me that.”

His eyebrows came together, eyes softening. “Kit, you are a member of my team.”

“But I’m not. I’m a liaison from the health department.” 

He shrugged at her, shaking his head and gesturing towards JJ’s empty office. “JJ is a liaison from the communications department.”

Kit shook her head, giving a sad smile and waving him off. “It’s different.”

She didn't want to tell him about Ramos. It would be like tattling, and they were FBI agents, not kindergarteners. As far as she knew, Hotch was JJ’s supervisor. She was a part of them. Kit was separate.

“I don’t see how it’s different,” he said, “but if you really feel that way, know that it isn’t on our end. By isolating yourself, you’re creating a barrier.”

“I thought we didn’t profile one another,” she said, feeling annoyance start to dance inside her chest. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know what Ramos had said.

What if Ramos is full of shit?

What if Hotch is full of shit?

He simply raised an eyebrow. 

“The rule is on inter-team profiling. Did you not just say you weren’t a part of my team?”

She stared him straight in the eyes for a moment. The air around him had settled into the feeling she probably hated most of all.

Pity.

She latched her hands to the backpack straps over her shoulders to keep herself from pulling down hard on her twin braids.

“I need to prepare for the health meeting on Friday. We’ll do one in the afternoon. I’ll see you at the morning briefing.”

She turned away from him and walked to her desk without letting him respond to her, and she knew it was petty, but she didn’t need Hotch’s pity. She didn’t need anyone’s pity.

She could do grief, and anger, and fear all day. She could handle trauma, and regret, and incredible sadness. Illness. Confusion and skepticism.

She hated pity.

She didn't need anyone to pity her. The middle child of nine. The rebel. The decent nurse. 

Trouble.

She didn't need it. Not from Hotch.

And she didn't need him to see the tears of frustration and self loathing pooling on her lashline.

She’d clearly gotten too big for her britches, and Ramos had helped bring her back down to earth. She wasn’t a stiff. She was a nurse. That’s all she’d ever be.

-----

“Colghain.”

Kit looked up from the papers in front of her to Gideon’s even voice. He was looking at her with the same intensity he always wore, beckoning at her with one of his hands before walking back into his office without another word.

She raised an eyebrow, significant anxiety flooding into her chest. She didn’t want to deal with it. She’d already had a conversation with Hotch that she didn’t want to have. She’d had a conversation with Ramos the day before that left her upset and self-loathing and desperate to feel like she belonged somewhere she most certainly did not belong, and never could, and never would.

And, Kit had avoided having a conversation with Gideon at every turn. She’d perfected it, as far as she was concerned. Hotch had tried to make them talk, and they’d either argued, or she’d avoided it completely. She didn’t want to have an actual conversation with Gideon. She hated Gideon. He hated her. 

Why would he ever want to actually confront the issue?

“You better go, Lep,” Morgan said casually, flipping through a file. He looked exhausted. They all did.

“I don’t want to talk to him.”

“What happened to the girl that was like, ‘oh yeah, I’ll talk to him tomorrow,’ like, a week ago? Scared?” He teased, swapping his voice to a higher pitch in an imitation of her.

Despite the frustration she’d found with Hotch that morning, and the dread that flooded through her at the realization that she shouldn’t be getting close to anyone on the BAU team, she found herself smiling and rolling her eyes at the man in front of her. Morgan was different. He’d said it himself that they were friends, and Kit didn’t think that meant just at work. After all, they trained together on mornings she worked her clinic shifts, too.

“Oh, belt it, Morgan. I saw that you didn’t get a flu shot this year, are you scared of something? Needles?”

She’d been waiting on that one, but he just chuckled and shook his head. “No, that’s pretty ricky over there. I don’t need a flu shot. Immune system of a champion.”

Kit had to bite her tongue in order to keep from calling him “Antibiotics Guy” out loud, settling for rolling her own eyes and standing up from her chair. 

“Sure, Morgan. We’ll see. Will you back me up if you hear screaming?” She asked, the nervous energy never leaving her as she stood to face the music. Maybe they’d fight and she’d get fired. It would sure make being a part of just the clinic an easier feat. 

She’d never worried about getting fired this often in her life, even when she was nineteen years old and working trauma in the ER. It surprised her how calmly she considered it as her weeks with the BAU added up.

He chuckled and nodded at her, turning back to his file and speaking with his eyes on the page in front of him. “Sure thing. Hey, can I have your desk space if he roasts you to a fine crisp? I like to spread out.”

“Oh, múchadh, Der.”

“I don’t know what that means!” He taunted, but she didn’t turn back around. She was already steeling herself for battle.

Gideon was sitting at his desk, glasses on, and didn’t look up when she entered his office. She stood there for a moment before she knocked on the door frame.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, sit down,” he mumbled, scribbling something in his notebook.

As bad as she wanted to tell him no, she would definitely not sit down, she could hear Hotch’s voice echoing in her mind.

I spoke with him about the meeting last week. He said he would talk to you once we got back.

The BAU team was back, and now, she needed to sit and listen to whatever it was that Gideon had to say.

You’re just a nurse after all. You should be the one apologizing.

“Gideon-”

“Colghain, I’m going to be honest, I don’t like that you’re here.”

Wow.

“Okay?” she said, dejected confusion on her tongue. Gideon wasn’t oozing annoyance or frustration like he usually was, but she couldn’t read him. He was almost apathetic. He wasn't even looking at her.

“The bureau forcing a new position like this says that they don’t trust units to manage themselves.”

Kit thought about that for a moment. She’d heard that from Morgan, and she understood why he would feel that way. He was a senior agent. He’d come back into the field after being on medical leave. She’d actually been one of the nurses that had read over his file before they would clear him to go back to work. Gideon had been in the BAU since its conception, and it made sense that he didn't like change.

"What about JJ?"

"Pardon?"

He looked up then, the tendrils of his confusion tugging at her skin.

Kit kept her train of thought. "JJ came from the communications department. She was a new position at some point, but you seem to get along with her just fine. You trust her."

"JJ isn't interested in anything but her position," he said simply. "And she’s proven that she does it very well."

"I'm not interested in anything but my position, either," she said. She felt like she was gaining some footing. “And, as of the last six weeks, I feel like I’ve shown that I can do my position well. Or at least, I can when I’m being allowed to do it.”

“Your position as a babysitter?”

“My position as an expert in my field.”

Their eyes were locked now; Gideon’s unwavering, Kit’s challenging. 

“My job is to keep the team healthy, inform you all about healthful practices, go on takedowns, and give my input on cases that need it.”

“Reid knows anything your input could give us.”

“Not when he’s running a fever and trying to think straight while masking from you all.”

Gideon’s face shifted for a fraction of a second, but the concern that flooded the room told her she had the upper hand.

Good, asshole.

“Which you didn’t know, did you? In New Jersey. Not only was I reading tox screens and dealing with pushback at every turn, from you, on a case that was medically mine. I was also managing the symptoms of your protégé, who if you hadn’t noticed, has the constitution of a wet piece of cardboard.”

Gideon was on the defensive now, standing up from his chair. “We had an unsub to worry about. Reid can take care of himself.”

Kit stood from her seat to match him. She didn’t report to Gideon. She wasn’t on his team. He was on Hotch’s, and as far as she was concerned, she didn’t have to give in to him. They weren’t on the same team at all.

“And while on that case, regardless of you trying to step in and do my job regarding Hill, I still managed to take care of Reid, give valuable information about botulism and rohypnol, and get our foot in the door at the hospital.”

Gideon didn’t respond for a moment, and while it probably wasn’t a good idea, Kit kept going.

“And, just so you know, I don’t appreciate you lying for me on official documents. I’m a professional, and I’m damn good at my job.” All the things she’d talked to Morgan about were flooding back.

You just told me, so tell him.

That’s what he’d said.

Maybe she would.

She laughed once. “I’m good at my job. I proved it to the Health Department. My siblings and I are the youngest Head Nurses the clinic’s ever seen. We were the youngest in the history of the hospital we were at before that. Hell, the Director sees my files directly, and was on the team that selected me for this position. Me, not either of my cúpla.”

She watched him for a moment before she added, venom on her tongue, “I’ve proved myself again and again. I don’t have to prove it anymore. Not to you.”

“I didn’t lie,” was all he said, though his apathy had melted. There was something else there. Something she couldn’t place.

“What?”

“I didn’t lie on any official documents. Never have.”

She blinked at him for a moment. 

The survey, you idiot.

“You gave me a positive review of my health meeting. The one you very specifically stopped before I was done to tell me I was wrong, and then argued with Hotch that I was wasting your time.”

He shrugged, pacing to the window and peering into the February air. “My personal feelings about the necessity, or existence, of your health meeting on sleep don’t change my opinion of your delivery. During the meeting, until I interrupted and jibbed, you were incredibly knowledgeable and professional. You were concise.” He shrugged again. “It was the best delivered health meeting I’ve been a part of during my time with the bureau.”

She stared at him for a moment, face working through a plethora of emotions before she settled on annoyance. “Then why in the hell,” she started, “would you have interrupted me?”

“Principle,” he said simply. “Understand, Colghain, I have an issue with your position. I also have an issue with the fact that you profile as a reformed rebel, and the sort of restless trouble that lies behind your eyes tells me you never really left it in your past. You’ve repressed it. You’ve buried it. You mask it in the clinic, and you’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to mask it around this team.” 

What the hell sort of inter-team profiling is that?

You’re not on his team. You aren’t on the same team at all.

“As a person,” he said finally, sitting down in his chair, “I don’t mind you. Elle is a rebel in her own right, and I think it helps her in this job. As a position, yours is one I don’t care for, and don’t anticipate lasting very long. Hotch would like us to get along better, which I’m not opposed to. If you stay out of the way of the profilers, I have no issue with you being here. As a member of the team, I worry that you’re in over your head. Mind your temper.”

“I’m not a member of the team,” she said automatically, though she didn’t sit to match him. “I’m separate.”

“Even better,” he agreed, picking back up his notebook and gesturing towards the door. “That’s it. You can go.”

Is he… dismissing me?

The likeness to her high school principal ignited in her chest like heartburn, and shook her head. “If you stay out of the way of my duties and contributions, I have no issue with you, either.” 

She stood for a few seconds before turning towards the door. 

“And Colghain?” She turned to face him, but his eyes weren’t on her anymore. Almost like they never were. “Yes?”

“Be nice to Reid. He cares about what others think more than he’d let on.”

Kit stood and blinked at him for a moment before she found herself rolling her eyes. “I thought Reid could take care of himself.”

Gideon scoffed before shaking his head, dismissing her again as he mumbled under his breath. “Trouble.”

“Jaded,” she said simply, striding out the door without another look back.

Did that help? Did that even help at all?

Of course it did, Kody. There was an agreement in there somewhere. Stay out of each other’s way, and everything will be fine. Hotch will be happy to hear it.

Kit walked quickly back to her desk, sliding into her seat and placing her head in her hands. She wished the day was over, but it was barely two, and she needed the next three hours to prepare her meeting for Friday. Two days to prepare wasn’t optimal, and she wondered if she’d need to stay late at her desk. They were supposed to play another set the next night, and she didn’t want to cancel on her cúpla like she had for five straight weeks after starting her position.

“Are you okay?”

She considered leaving her face in her hands and pretending she didn’t hear him, but Gideon’s words, to her great distaste, rang in her ears.

Be nice to Reid. He cares about what others think more than he’d let on.

She sighed and sat up, directing her eyes to the sheepish looking doctor to her right and nodding. “Yeah, I’m okay,” she said. Morgan had disappeared, which she didn’t notice at first, and Elle was nowhere to be found.

“Did you talk with Gideon?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it… good?”

Kit watched his body position shift as his discomfort increased.

He probably thinks you’re going to snap at him, or tell him it’s none of his business. Good job, Kody. Great. You’ve given him anxiety.

She nodded, giving him a small smile. “I guess it was,” she decided. She wasn’t sure, but that’s where she settled. “Thanks for asking.”

“Yeah. Yeah, um, sure. I just know that things have been weird and that you don’t really get along, but I told him that you know a lot of things and you’ve got a lot to add to the team. Actually-” He stopped himself suddenly, eyes lowering and hands fidgeting before he shook his head. “Sorry. I was rambling, I’m sure you have things to do.”

She watched him for a moment before she found herself shaking her head. Reid, she was learning, was largely harmless. Plus, she could use his overflowing memory to her advantage.

“Actually, how much paperwork do you have to do? I could use some help with something.”

He looked back up at her and took a second before grinning. “Oh, my paperwork is done.”

“Great,” she said, settling back into her seat and picking up her pen. “What can you tell me about physical activity in adults between the ages of twenty and sixty?”

His grin shifted into a full smile. “Tons.”

“Perfect,” she said, leaning towards him to show she was engaged and ready. “Tell me everything.”

[temptation-narnia-chronicles]

From Upon the Golden Thrones

Episode 3: Outbreak, Part One

      Through dusty windowpanes, glass blue eyes absorbed the stretch of sea expanding before her, waves lapping against the shore and gulls cawing overhead. All that lies beyond the horizon is a mystery, but the valiant knows all too well of the horror hidden behind it. In the back of her mind, she sees blood churning into the sea, turning waves of blue into vicious red swells. Bodies dappled with buboes loaded into carts like fresh crops, sweaty brows and shaky hands and strained pleas for help, wailing children standing in the midst of hell itself. The quill fell from her hand and rolled onto the floor with a splattering of ink.

     "Queen Lucy!" a stern voice shouted, stirring the queen from her illusions. "I am not here to babble at the air so if you would please pay attention to your lessons...!" the disgruntled faun commanded. Lucy's cheeks went bright red as she frantically retrieved her quill and continued her notes, the nightmarish visions always at the back of her mind.       "Parcels for the Pevensies!" Hermes announced, swooping upon the balcony with saddlebags of letters strapped to his back. The young kings and queens rushed forward to retrieve their mail, Edmund's face lighting up at the sight of his very own message.       "Word from Nefyn?" Susan asked, cocking a brow. Edmund blushed and scowled at his sister.       "For your information, I like having a pen pal. And that's all she is: a pal" Edmund corrected.       "Whatever you say, Ed. Just inform us of the wedding date" Peter jested. His brother shot him a glare and lightly punched him in the shoulder before retreating inside to read his letter in private. However, Lucy watched him disappear with great focus as if she was deeply interested in what the centaurette had to say.       "Hey, Lu? Are you okay? You've been awfully distracted these days" Susan questioned. Snapping back to reality, Lucy gasped and nodded vigorously.       "Oh, yes! I'm fine, thanks. Just been thinking a lot, I guess" she replied.       "I'll say. I heard Professor Arcadian harping at you earlier" Peter added.       "He's a very unpleasant faun..." Lucy said quietly.       "I wouldn't be surprised if he thwacked you right on the head one of these days for not paying attention. What were you even thinking about in there, anyways?" said Peter. Lucy averted her eyes and clasped her hands together tightly. The High King could tell she didn't quite want to say but that made him even more concerned. Lucy had gotten into a very bad habit of keeping secrets these days and he was not fond of it at all.       "Lucy, you know we won't get mad at you, whatever it is that's bothering you" Susan reassured. The valiant queen sighed and turned her attention to the ocean beyond.       "I guess I've just been thinking an awful lot about Galma" she said, tone soft and cautious. Ever since Aesop and Nefyn had left a fortnight earlier, Galma was all she could think about. She had no clue what kind of sickness had taken hold of the island but she felt disgustingly compelled to help in whatever way possible. How could she live with herself knowing she had the cure to every sickness and injury right at her hip, yet stood idly by while people were dying? Her hand lightly grazed the cordial strapped to her belt.       "Lucy, we can't go and you know that" Peter stated. "What about our own health? We can't risk getting sick, too. The best thing is to just let Aesop and Nefyn do whatever it is they do over there and we keep to our corner."       "But I don't want to keep to my corner! We have to help them!" Lucy countered, whipping around to face her brother. He could see the desperation glossing over her eyes, her indescribable need to heal. Not even that could convince Peter otherwise.       "Lucy, it's too dangerous. I'm saying no, end of story" he stated. His voice was hard and firm but Susan could sense the underlying waver in his tone. He really didn't want to be so harsh with her but at the same time, he was the High King. He had a duty to uphold and that included protecting his family from whatever may come their way.       The youngest Pevensie pursed her lips, eyes welling with tears, as she clenched her fists at her side. "People are dying, Peter" was all she murmured before pushing past both him and Susan and rushing inside.       "Well that was nicely handled" Susan retorted, gathering her skirts and rushing after her sister. Bursting through the double doors, she passed a rather confused Eilonwy on her way to the balcony.       "I take it I missed something here?" she asked the moment she reached Peter. He nodded. "What was it this time?"       "Lucy wants to go to Galma" he replied, leaning against the railing. The sea was so vast and unforgiving, the blues of it reflected in the High King's tired eyes.       "And you won't let her" Eilonwy added. Peter nodded. "Reasonable enough, I presume. She's young, they're deadly. It's only natural to want to protect her."       "Exactly!" Peter exclaimed. "Why doesn't she see that? Why am I the bad guy here when all I want is her safety? She's very 'throw caution to the wind', you know."       Eilonwy nodded, slowly gliding up beside the king to rest her elbows on the railing. "What would happen to all of them?" she asked, staring off into the distance. Peter sighed.       "I don't know. Death, I guess" he mumbled. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't even know why it upset him so much. After all, it wasn't his country. They weren't his people. Galma was an entire nation on their own that Peter and his siblings had no jurisdiction over. It wasn't his duty to care for them. Yet he hated the fact that deep down, he did care. "You know, I really don't want to talk about this right now."       "You started it" Eilonwy said back, a slight chuckle in her voice. She turned her back to the sea and rested it against the railing, staring through the double doors into the great room. Peter furrowed his brows at her and shook his head.        "You know, you are irritatingly collected" he replied.        "Good. That means I'm succeeding in deceiving you" she said and with that, sauntered off into the castle to leave Peter on a cliffhanger.

     "So, Ed" Susan started at dinner that night. "What did Nefyn have to say? Anything you're able to exploit without revealing the secret nature of your romance?" The rest of the table softly chuckled. Edmund's cheeks grew red.       "For the last time, we are just friends! Nothing more, nothing less. And as for whatever she's said, I'm sorry I can't tell you" the just replied.       "And why not? Is it too inappropriate? Are you exchanging mushy love letters back and forth?" Lucy teased. Edmund groaned and rolled his eyes.       "Listen, Lu, of all the people who shouldn't know the content of the letter, you should be kept from it most of all" her brother stated. A strange look crossed Lucy's face, one of confusion and shock but not exactly rooted in any specific emotion. One couldn't quite tell whether she was offended or if his words further piqued her curiosity.        After a few moments of awkward silence, the littlest Pevensie finally spoke up. "Fine, then" she said, crossing her arms and leaning back into her chair. "I don't need to know anyways. Your relationship is none of my business, after all." Edmund bit his lips, turning his eyes back to his food. He hated seeing Lucy so...whatever she was but knew she'd be even more upset had she known the things Nefyn told him. She wasn't ready to hear such harsh words yet. The rest of the dinner was met with silence.

     A knock on the door. "Peter? Might I come in for a moment?"       The High King looked up from his papers, eyes bloodshot and sleepy, and ushered his guest inside. He didn't really care who it was-- he was too tired to identify the voice-- but instantly perked up when he saw none other than Eilonwy enter the room. The moment she stepped inside, he sat up a little straighter and attempted to groom the hair out of his face. No matter what he tried, he still looked like a mess.       "Burning the midnight oil, I presume?" Eilonwy stated with a smirk, sinking into the nearby corner chair. Peter chuckled and shrugged.       "I suppose. I swear, there are never enough hours in the day to go through so much paperwork" he replied. Eilonwy leaned forward to take a look at some of them but Peter instantly snatched them away. "Excuse you, that is confidential information restricted to the kings and queens."       "Sorry, Mr. Bossypants. I suppose my former royal title bears no significance on the situation, then?" she shot back. Peter sighed and shook his head. "No, I'm afraid it doesn't. Your title went defunct a hundred years ago." Though his words seemed harsh, his tone was playful and Eilonwy took no offense. Or at least she tried not to.       Rolling her eyes, she leaned back in her chair and replied, "You'd think so many years of experience would be quite the asset to a child king such as yourself. Maybe I'd be of more use to Lune in Archenland?"       "You would go to Archenland?" Peter asked. Eilonwy nodded.       "If they needed me over there more, then perhaps, yes."       "You wouldn't leave."       "How can you be so sure?"       "Well...well, because!" Peter stammered. "Because you belong here, in Narnia. You're Narnian by blood and by title and so this is where you should be."       "By a title that went defunct a hundred years ago, right?" she replied snarkily.       "...Very funny" Peter said back, exasperated. After a few moments of quiet, he added, "Would you really ever leave?"       Eilonwy shrugged. "As it currently stands, I've got no place else to go. The Beavers dam is basically kindling by now. Tumnus's place is off the market. There's really no place else I could see myself retreating to and after all, what could compare to a palace like this? Nothing in the world. So for now, I'll stay put" she explained. Peter captured a hint of sadness in her voice, as if she was only halfheartedly saying such things, but knew better than to ask of it.       With eyes downcast, he simply nodded and replied quietly, "Well, we certainly like you here. I like you here." Eilonwy shot him a glare of disbelief. "Truly, I do. If it wasn't for you, Lucy would probably be deathly ill from sleeplessness. I never did say thank you for what you did a few weeks ago."         "It was nothing, really" she murmured. "Just so happened to be in the right place at the right time, I suppose."       "But it's not nothing, Eilonwy. Without you, Lucy never would've gotten the relief she so desperately needed. You cured her and I will always be grateful to you for that" Peter replied.       Uncomfortable with the praise, Eilonwy tucked her hair back behind her ear and shook her head, eyes set on the floor. "I was only the messenger. It's really Hattie and Tumnus you should be thanking. They're the ones who did all the hard work. I was just the recruiter, so to speak. I don't deserve any recognition."       Peter rolled his eyes, growing frustrated. Why couldn't she just accept the compliments he was feeding her? She deserved to know she did a good thing and that he and his siblings appreciated her for it. But then again, it was getting late and the last thing he wanted was to argue.       "What are you going to do about her, anyways?" Eilonwy replied.       "About who?" Peter asked.       "Lucy."       "What about her?"       "Oh, please don't tell me you're that dense, Peter. Galma?"       Peter sighed and tossed his head back, pressing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. "Not you, too" he groaned. "Listen, I've made my decision. We're not going. Lucy can complain all she wants but I can't risk her or any of the rest of us getting sick or worse..." He didn't even need to finish his sentence for Eilonwy to know what else he meant to say.       "I understand your concern but isn't this a little childish?" she countered. "This won't be the first time something like this happens and you need to decide what you're going to do from a kingly perspective before something else arises. Peter the brother says 'Stay for the safety of my family' but what does Peter the king have to say?"       "The same exact thing!" Peter replied.      "You're not thinking politically" Eilonwy spat. "Galma is in distress. It's been in distress for decades. Once Narnia went under, Galma had no one to follow. They broke off from us long ago and we've had severed ties ever since. They're a struggling nation, impoverished. Many of their people tried to get into trade with the other islands in hopes of boosting the economy but the grounds are rather infertile so all they can really manage are textiles and livestock, which even then aren't that great. This epidemic was years in the making, the result of poor living conditions and life dealing them a shitty hand. So you basically have two options here, Peter Pevensie. You can choose to either help them and restore Galma's relations with Narnia or you can ignore them, let everyone die, and forever be known to the Galmans as a careless, selfish fool whose help they didn't need anyways. You can take your time choosing which one of these people you want to be but you better choose fast and choose wisely because unlike many other things, this is actually a matter of life or death. Think about it." And with that, Eilonwy rose and exited the room, leaving Peter to drown in her thick, honest words. Little did she know, however, he wasn't the only one who heard her.

     "Hey, Peter, have you seen Lucy?" Susan inquired the next morning. "I've searched everywhere for her but haven't been able to find her."       "She wasn't asleep?" Peter questioned. He knew his sister well enough to know she was an early riser but still, a tiny thread of him hoped she was still catching up on all the hours she had missed not so long ago during her bout of insomnia. Susan shook her head.       "Her bed was made as perfectly as ever."       "Maybe she went out riding" Edmund replied, waltzing into the room with his breakfast.       "Have you checked the stables?" Peter asked Susan. The gentle averted her eyes and shook her head.       "Alright, well that's the one place I haven't looked but how do you know her horse won't be there?" she replied, glancing to her brothers.       "I don't" Edmund replied as he bit into his pancake. "I just assume that it's a beautiful day outside, the weather is nice, maybe she'd want to go on a morning ride."       "Smart choice that would be, a little girl alone out in the woods. If she was to have gone riding, why didn't she tell any of us? Or at least leave a note?" Peter muttered.       "Again, check the stables" Edmund replied. Susan shot Edmund a glare and rolled her eyes, feeling as if his sass was rather inappropriate for the current circumstances, before rushing off down the hallway. Peter followed suit.       The stables were just as they always were with horses braying and neighing and nibbling on oats. Besnik, Peter's unicorn, stamped his hooves against the hay scattered across the ground.       "We should go out looking for her" Peter suggested, petting the unicorn's muzzle. Just as Susan opened her mouth to speak, however, the sound of hooves approached from behind. Filled with hope, both whipped around with exclamations of Lucy!       "Morning" an underwhelming voice greeted. "Lovely morning, yeah?" Eilonwy hopped from her mare's back, leading Everlast into her pen.       "What are you doing here?" Susan inquired.       "What? Can't I go for a morning ride?" Eilonwy joked, stroking the horse's flank.       "Please tell me Lucy was with you" Peter begged. Eilonwy cocked a brow.       "No...sorry. Why? Has she been playing another round of hide and seek again? You know, she's getting rather good" Eilonwy said. If there was one thing she knew the valiant to be a master of, it was hide and seek. Lucy had recruited many of the staff and her siblings into multiple games a week around the castle which, considering it's size, was a dream come true. Eilonwy, however, always had a knack for finding her. After all, she knew Cair Paravel better than anyone else.        Susan grimaced at the thought of Lucy playing such games, as if her sister would scare her to death quite so much with something so childish. She would need to give the young queen a stern talking to once all of this was finished. "Maybe we should set up search parties, scour the castle for her" she suggested. Peter nodded in approval.       "I'll search the training grounds, see if she's trying her hand at archery or something" Peter offered.       "Good. I'll check the library. Maybe she's searching for something to read" Susan added. "Eilonwy, you go look in the parlor and see if she's hiding in there."       The moment Susan mentioned it, Eilonwy's back stiffened. Her heart nearly leapt from her chest, eyes wild with panic. She would be more than happy to look anywhere else. Absolutely anywhere. Breath hitching in her throat, she leaned against the post by Everlast's stall in hopes of keeping her balance. Eilonwy opened her mouth to protest but no sound came out.       "I don't think she'd be in the parlor and even if she was, Eilonwy shouldn't go looking for her there" Peter jumped in. Susan eyed him suspiciously, wanting to ask why not but was interrupted by Peter yet again. "You know, if you think it's really worth checking, I'll go look in the parlor and Eilonwy can check the training grounds. Does that sound alright?" He turned to the maiden for approval. She nodded vigorously, relief sweeping across her face. Peter met her with a brief, satisfied smile. Susan, however, watched in confusion. Another fragment of the strange puzzle that made up Eilonwy's secretive life.       "Fine, then. I don't care who looks where so long as we keep looking" Susan said firmly. She looked to her brother and friend for a brief moment before nodding once and turning off to do her duty. The moment she was out of sight, Eilonwy sighed in gratitude and gripped Peter's arm tightly, letting her knees buckle and thanking him profusely.       "I swear, if she had made me go in there, I would've died!" she whined.       Peter chuckled and shook his head. If he were anyone else, he'd think she was being far too overdramatic. Instead, he simply smiled and said, "You're welcome." She looked up at him for a moment and in that instance, felt warmth rush to her cheeks. There was a certain sparkle in his eyes, whether from the early morning sunlight or from his kindness, that fed her with hope that perhaps that desire she hoped to find again had returned to his gaze. Before she could truly decide, however, the moment was gone. Peter turned his attention away, cleared his throat. "We better get going. No time to waste" he quickly said before motioning towards the castle and urging Eilonwy onward.       "Any luck?" Susan asked later that morning. Bejeweled fingers tangled in her skirts, gripping the fabric tightly in anticipation.      "Nothing" Peter replied somberly.      "She wasn't in the training fields, either" Eilonwy added. Susan tossed her head back and groaned.       "Well, it's a big castle. She could be anywhere. Maybe she's on the move. It could be days before we track her down!" the gentle panicked.       "Or it could be minutes" a voice interrupted. The three of them whipped around to find Edmund standing in the hallway accompanied by the unexpected. Rather than standing hand in hand with their baby sister, he instead held up a note creased down the middle. In a wave of desperation, Susan rushed forward and snatched it from his hands. As she skimmed every letter, her heart pulsed faster and faster in her chest before she reached the end and broke.      "This is all your fault!" she shouted, whipping around to face Peter.      "My fault?! Susan, what are you talking about? Give me that!" he shouted back, taking the letter for himself.       "What? What is it?" Eilonwy inquired. All the commotion was hiking up her own panic. "What's it say?"       Peter sped through the letter, hands beginning to tremble, before he crumpled the note and cursed under his breath. The maiden eyed him expectantly. "She's gone to Galma."

     "I can't believe this! How could she have disobeyed me like this?" Peter rambled, pacing. Eilonwy's eyes followed him back and forth, arms crossed as she seated herself on his bed, as if she was watching a tennis match.       "Apparently Lucy's valiance knows no bounds" she remarked. The High King shot her a glare.       "I can't believe this. I just cannot believe this" he repeated. His fingers tangled in his golden hair and gripped the locks at the root with a groan. His eyes, bloodshot and blue, stared at the Persian rug on the floor of his bed chamber, studying the intricate designs and rich hues. He dug the toe of his boot into the carpeting before kicking at the tasseled edge. "How did she even manage any of this anyways? What did she do? Take a rowboat and go over there herself? I can't believe she went over there. I can't believe it."       A knot tightened in Eilonwy's chest. There was something about seeing Peter so frustrated that honestly scared her. There was a wildness in him, this untamed panic, that bristled the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck, sent chills down her spine and churned her stomach. She wrapped a lock of hair around her finger until it turned blue and bit her lip nervously. "So...what are you going to do about it, then?"       "What do you mean 'what am I going to do?' There's only one thing to do!" Peter shouted. "I have to go over there and bring her back! Even if she comes back kicking and screaming." Eilonwy startled slightly at the inclination of his voice, imagining him dragging the protesting little queen by her ankles aboard the royal ship. "I'll order Tumnus to send out a message. Gather the troops, bring together a crew, get the ship ready to depart." Eilonwy nodded minutely. There was something grotesquely ironic about their upcoming voyage, she thought. The Pevensies first trip on the royal ship, the Splendor Hyaline, and they weren't even venturing off for a pleasure cruise like the vessel's original intent.       "I guess I ought to go and pack my things, then" Eilonwy murmured, standing and shuffling toward the door. Peter instantly shot her a questioning look. "Oh, don't tell me you're quarantining me here, are you?"       "There's no way you're coming along!" Peter countered.       "And why not?" Eilonwy shot back.       "Because! Nobody is coming along! It'll be just me and a small crew, nothing more. The smaller the group, the safer. You are not included" Peter spat. Something broke inside Eilonwy's chest and she abruptly grew uncertain of whether she wanted to cry or scream. She did her best to hold back either.       Furrowing her brows, she stared Peter down-- or up, considering he was much taller than her-- and clenched her fists at her side. "You know, I don't know why you have such a problem with including me in these sorts of things. What is it? Are you afraid I'm too fragile? That I'll get hurt or sick or something? I'm much stronger than you give me credit for, Peter. Remember Beruna?"       "Yes, I remember Beruna. When you deliberately disobeyed my orders and snuck into battle. And got hurt. That's exactly what I'm trying to prevent from happening, Eilonwy. I already have Lucy to worry about, I don't have any extra energy to worry about your health, too" Peter snarled. By now, the look in his eyes had gone completely mental. He was a man on the brink of losing it but Eilonwy still didn't heed the warnings. She was far too proud to let him tell her what she could and could not do.       "You seem to forget my unholy affliction. I was fine for a hundred years and I'll be fine now. I'll see you aboard the ship at dawn. I hope tomorrow morning you're far less disagreeable than you are now or else this is going to be a rather long and grueling journey" Eilonwy replied, voice sharp and low. And with that, she turned and exited the room. It wasn't until she was well down the hall, nearly to her own chambers, that she let herself break.       She hated thinking of poor, sweet little Lucy Pevensie in such an awful place, surrounded by so many of the dying. How many could she possibly heal before her cordial runs out? Fireflowers aren't exactly a renewable resource. She thought of the young queen running herself ragged trying to cure every person she could, much like she did after the Battle of Beruna. She thought of all those people, vomit crusted to the corners of their mouths and puss oozing from black, swollen masses. The kind of images you see in horror films. The kind of images little girls aren't supposed to be a part of. Eilonwy didn't even want to imagine what would happen if the valiant queen fell ill. It was far too soon after their coronation for a royal funeral, nonetheless for someone so young. But Eilonwy couldn't think like that. For all she knew, Lucy could be perfectly fine. Splendid, even. And it wasn't like she was alone, either. She had Aesop and Nefyn. They'd take good care of her...wouldn't they?       Peter's thoughts ran in parallel to Eilonwy's as he collapsed on his bed and buried his face in the duvet. He thought of all the times he had nearly lost her: when she was two and someone left the backyard gate open, age five when she crashed her bike and scraped up her face, age seven when she forgot to tell anyone she was going to a friend's after school, age ten when the air raids began. And then in Narnia, when she slipped out of her coat in the frozen river. For as long as he could remember, he has been saving Lucy time and time again. But what if, this time, he's unable to rescue her? What if this is when he really does lose her? An image of her, frail and sick, flashed through his brain and made him queasy. He pounded his fist against the mattress and cursed under his breath, hot tears rising behind his eyes. He willed them away but was unsuccessful. They came pouring down his cheeks in great sobs. He had to remind himself that no one could see him cry in the privacy of his own room. If he had been around Susan and Edmund and Eilonwy, he would never let himself break down like this. It would be too lame. He was the High King of Narnia, for Aslan's sake. He was supposed to be strong, stony-faced, unyielding. But behind closed doors, he was still just a boy. A little kid. Perhaps Eilonwy was right about him. Perhaps he couldn't do this on his own after all. But then he remembered Aslan, remembered standing beside the great lion on the the precipice of Beruna, Cair Paravel glistening in the setting sunlight. He remembered what the lion had told him, of how he personally appointed Peter to be High King. Aslan must have seen some kind of potential in him. He wouldn't have assigned Peter such a role if he didn't think the boy could handle it, right? Or perhaps Aslan was just far too cruel and wanted to see Peter suffer. He wasn't quite sure which. It was getting late and his eyes burned and he had gotten very little sleep in the past month. All his thoughts were beginning to jumble together like a chalk drawing after a rainstorm, blurring the lines between sanity and lunacy. He kicked off his boots and coiled himself around his blankets, cocooning himself like a swaddled infant, and sinking into desperation. He asked himself "What would Lucy do?" She seemed to have far more faith in Aslan than her siblings combined. Suddenly, almost involuntarily, he clasped his hands together and found himself praying.       "Aslan...please watch over my sister for me...please...keep her safe. I can't...I can't imagine losing her...I need her to stay safe...please" he whispered softly. Peter felt like an absolute idiot-- how could Aslan possibly hear him?-- but it was as if his body was acting independent from his brain. He continued to mutter "Please...please, please..." through teary eyes until the words became inaudible whimpers and then nothingness as he slowly fell asleep.

     Sunlight glittered across the ocean as the Splendor Hyaline prepared for it's voyage. The High King climbed to the highest deck, tired eyes scanning the horizon. His heart raced in his chest as he hoped for a steadfast journey. So long as I get to Lucy...       "Enjoying the view?" a voice called from behind him. Peter whipped around to find Eilonwy behind him, arms crossed, smirk stretched on her lips. He rolled his eyes but not before looking her up and down: she was dressed much like a man in trousers and an oversized shirt, boots slouching down around her skinny ankles. Everything about her was skinny, especially without a dress to hide everything in. After a few moments passed without words, Eilonwy cocked an eyebrow suspiciously, cueing Peter to finally respond.       "As much as I can, I suppose" he shrugged. Eilonwy chuckled softly, skated beside him, patting him on the back a little too hard. Her sinewy arms fell over the edge of the railing as she gazed off toward the Eastern Sea.       "Galma should be a two day trip, tops. Captain Guildmore seems rather optimistic" she stated. Peter glanced back toward the main deck, watching the crew scatter and unite. In the midst of it all stood the strong outline of Captain Guildmore, face stony and voice commanding. In all honesty, Peter was a little fearful of him. He appeared powerful and dark. He was a force to be reckoned with. Guildmore was recruited shortly after the Pevensie's coronation, recommended by Aslan himself for his vast knowledge and lengthy experience. He was a beast shrouded in mystery, origins unknown, and that made Peter even more wary of him. How was he meant to trust someone he knew nothing about? He already knew the answer: Aslan. The great lion would not have suggested his appointment had he not trusted the man. So for now, Peter had to settle.       The High King pursed his lips and clenched his hands together. "Two days cannot pass fast enough" he murmured. Eilonwy glanced his way peripherally, twiddling her thumbs over the edge. She could see the fear in Peter eyes, the panic coursing through his veins and twitching in his limbs. She remembered last night, the way he cracked in front of her. She wondered if he'd kick her off the ship before their departure. He hadn't said anything so far.       After an awkward beat of silence, Eilonwy opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by an abrupt commotion from behind. Whipping around simultaneously, both Peter and Eilonwy's eyes darted straight to the source of the sound: a massive uproar began amidst the crewsmen, a chaotic sea of flailing and fighting in the very center of the deck. Peter's eyes widened, disgusted by such a scene. Instinct told him to jump into the fray but before he could get very far, a small but strong hand gripped his forearm and pulled him back. Questioning eyes landed on the maiden beside him, Eilonwy shaking her head no. He almost felt offended but all was finished before the emotion could fully form. She cocked her head back towards the scene, ushering Peter to watch. Guildmore grimaced from the other end of the ship and strode toward the commotion, but somehow it was not him who stopped the altercation. A glittering presence floated across the deck, long hair pulled back and skirts swishing like the ocean itself. Her seafoam gaze was not hard and piercing but harshly alarmed, disappointed. The moment the men saw her, they backed off one another, faces red, wringing their hands together nervously.       "What is all this about?" Queen Susan demanded. She eyed each one of the crew members, awaiting an answer.       "N-Nothing, your highness" a faun spoke up. Just then, Edmund sidled up beside his sister, luggage in tow.       "What's going on here?" he asked.       "These men apparently haven't been getting along very well" Susan replied, side-eyeing the crew. They all averted their gaze, digging hooves and toes into the floorboards.       "Will I have to shorten my staff?" Guildmore's booming voice then inquired. A wave of panic spread through the group.       "N-no, sir" the same faun replied.       "Then what is the meaning of this...uproar?" the Captain asked. Silence befell them. His gaze hardened.      "J-just a little simple rough-housing sir. Nothing to be concerned about" another finally spoke up.       "We promise it won't happen again, sir. Nothing of the sort!" yet another added.       Guildmore was obviously not convinced, but the sun was rising higher in the sky and he had more important things concerning him. It was surely half past nine and that meant they were running late. If there was one thing Guildmore hated, it was running late. With a harsh shout, he commanded his men to raise the anchor, hoist the sails, prepare for the voyage ahead.       From the highest deck, Peter watched in awe but it wasn't Guildmore's commanding presence that captivated him. It was his brother and sister's. Breaking free of Eilonwy's grasp, he barrelled down the stairs toward them, eyes wild and hands shaking. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked.       "What do you mean?" Edmund replied.       "You're not supposed to be here!" Peter shouted. Inside him, something was slowly unraveling once more.       "Peter, if you think for one second that we're not coming with you, then you're dead wrong" Susan said. "She's our sister, too, you know. We're just as worried about her as you are."       Peter opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. Just then, Eilonwy bounded forward, leaping beside Peter and placing her hands on his high shoulders as if to restrain him. "Why, what a quaint little surprise!" she exclaimed happily. "Fancy seeing you aboard. I wasn't sure if you'd both be joining us or not. Peter here never mentioned anything of it!"       "I'm not surprised" Edmund muttered. The just glanced to Susan before dragging their trunks across the deck. Eilonwy's eyes followed him to the door for a moment before he and his luggage disappeared below. Once gone, her eyes then glanced back and forth between Peter and Susan, their palpable tension swelling.       An assertion of dominance surged from Susan's glass blue eyes, gaze locked on that of her older brother. Eilonwy could feel the muscles in his neck and upper back contract, palms forming fists at his sides. Finally, Susan adjusted her gaze to Eilonwy, softening, and asked politely, "Eilonwy, would you mind if I spoke to my brother in private?"       The maiden squeezed Peter's shoulders briefly, as if to silently request he retain his temper, before immediately raising her hands and backing off. "Of course, your majesty. Take all the time you need. Uh, Peter...if you need me, I'll just be, uh, off getting...settled." She didn't exactly feel comfortable leaving him behind, certain his anger would explode, but had to remind herself it was not her place. She was not Peter's keeper. Hell, he was the goddamn High King. He didn't need her hovering. He could manage on his own.       As night fell across the Great Eastern Ocean, and the Splendor Hyaline sailed closer to it's destination, tensions ceased to disintegrate. The kings and queen ate dinner in silence, leaving Edmund to glance between his older siblings wishing he could say something but unsure exactly what. And when he did finally think of something, Eilonwy eyed him suspiciously as if warning him that he'd make matters worse. Though he had authority over her, Edmund had a hard time disobeying Eilonwy. She may no longer really be royalty, but she had been a princess nonetheless and a warrior princess, at that. He'd never be able to look at her without thinking of Beruna and that give him even more incentive to stay on her good side lest she lose her temper someday.       The minute Peter had finished his dessert, he threw his spoon onto the table and rose abruptly. "If you'd excuse me, I'm going to go get some much needed rest. I'll see you all in the morning" he said rather professionally, though there was no hiding that undertone of frustration still boiling from deep within his chest. All eyes watched him depart. As soon as he was out of sight, Susan heaved a sigh and buried her face in her hands. Eilonwy's heart raced in her chest. If the gentle queen was about to start crying, she needed to escape and fast. However, and much to Eilonwy's relief, Susan shortly raised her head, pressed her hands together tightly, and then rose.       "I think I'd better get some rest, too. It's been a long day. Goodnight, Ed. Goodnight, Eilonwy" she said quietly and then she was gone.       The dining room fell into an awkward silence for a few long and torturous minutes. Edmund stared at his empty plate, swirling the frosting remains around with the tongs of his fork, before glancing to Eilonwy. It wasn't until she felt his eyes on her that she turned to look at him, too. The moment they locked eyes, something coursed between the both of them and suddenly, they found themselves both struggling to restrain an inappropiate fit of laughter.       "I haven't seen Pete and Su so tense since the time Lucy found Narnia!" Edmund murmured between chuckles.       "So they're always like this then?" Eilonwy replied.      Edmund shook his head. "Not always. But Peter's probably just cheesed off because we came along when he didn't want us to. Not that he said anything to me, but we both know what he was after."      Eilonwy nodded. "I understand. He nearly refused my accompaniment on this journey, as well" she stated.       "I'm not surprised" said Edmund. "Peter likes to think he can take everything on all by himself. When our dad went off to war, Mum kind of appointed him the man of the house and ever since, he's considered himself like Dad's replacement."       Though she knew the point he was trying to make, something about Edmund's words struck a cord in Eilonwy's chest. She envisioned Peter's father, who looked almost identical to him save for broader shoulders and a stronger jaw, decked out in a strange uniform bidding farewell to his children. Keep your mum and siblings safe for me, Pete. You're the man of the house now. A pat on the shoulder, supposedly reassuring but subconsciously mixed with a pinch of condescension. In that instant, Eilonwy felt utterly compelled.       "Peter? Can I speak with you a moment?" she called through the oaken doors. Her hands were shaking at her sides as she waited in the hallway. A moment of silence, a skipped heartbeat. Then, slowly, the door creaked open. "What do you want?" he snapped, poking his head out.       A huff. "I want to talk to you, you idiot. Now, come on. Let me in" Eilonwy demanded.       Peter sighed and rested his forehead against the doorframe, blocking her entrance. "Eilonwy, come on. Is this really necessary? I'm tired. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodn--"       "No! We need to talk right now. Come on. Open it up" she interrupted, coaxing him away from the door. Peter glared at her but was far too exhausted to protest further. Defeated, he stepped aside and swung the door open wider.       Eilonwy waltzed right inside and made herself comfortable, catapulting onto the edge of the bed. "Peter, I think we need to discuss some things. Speak to me."       "There's nothing to discuss" he quickly replied. Eilonwy cocked an eyebrow, not convinced. Peter did his best to stare her down, hoping she'd back off, but deep down he knew better. There was no breaking her. When she wanted something, she fought for it. With a sigh, he sunk into the chair in the corner of the room and rubbed his temples. "I'm just frustrated, is all."       "About...?"       "About everything!" Peter exclaimed. "I'm a horrible king. There's always too much to be done. Nobody even listens to me!"       "People listen to you, Peter" Eilonwy tried to reassure him.       "If people listened to me, none of you would be on this ship right now" Peter shot back. Eilonwy narrowed her eyes, waiting for him to continue. "It's bad enough you're here, let alone Su and Ed! I already have Lucy to worry about. What if any of you get sick, too? If you'd all have just listened to me--"       "Peter! Coming was our decision, not yours" the maiden interrupted.      "Well, my decision overwrites your decision! I never wanted any of you to come along but you all did it anyways. Do you have any idea how much more stress that puts on my shoulders?" he argued.       "Why does this always come back to you, Peter? Are you incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself?" Eilonwy shouted.       Peter's eyes widened, his face turning red. For a moment, he was dead silent. Then, jaw clenched, "You have no idea what or who I think about" he growled.       "I know enough" Eilonwy spat.      Peter's eyes hardened as he stood and walked toward the door. "I think you ought to leave."       "I'm not going anywhere" Eilonwy said defiantly. Her and Peter locked eyes in one overwhelming moment, harsh gazes pounding against one another.       "I don't have to put up with this, you know. I'm the High King!" Peter said.       "Oh, yes! Everyone knows you're the High King! You don't let anyone forget it!" Eilonwy mocked him. "If you're so high and mighty, then, then perhaps you can learn to have a little empathy for once! You're not the only one who cares about Lucy, you know!" The maiden's voice grew higher and higher in volume until she was standing with fists clenched at her sides and eyes wild with fury. "You know what? I can't even stand to look at you right now!" she shouted before finally surging out the door.       "Good!" Peter shouted after her. "And while you're at it, you might as well not even return to Cair Paravel once this is all said and done!"       "Believe me, by now I'm seriously considering it!" she screamed over her shoulder. Her chamber door slammed shut and the entire corridor was drenched in darkness. In the company of no one, Peter was reminded of how truly alone he was. His chest felt tight and his hands were trembling. Somehow he was pushing away everyone he loved, but then again nobody he loved seemed to understand. Overwhelmed by exhaustion, he slowly closed his door and crawled into bed.       Staring at the ceiling, Eilonwy couldn't stop herself from replaying their argument over and over again. Resting a hand to her chest, she waited for her heartbeat to slow but to no avail. Panic coursed through her veins, Peter's words echoing in her ears. And while you're at it, you might as well not even return to Cair Paravel once this is all said and done! "Yeah, well I wouldn't have had to if it wasn't for your stupid prophecy, you douche" she whispered to herself. The clock in the corner ticked monotonously, the flicker of candlelight illuminating the time. 10:34pm. Though she was hardly tired, Eilonwy extinguished the flame and willed herself to get some sleep. At least in her dreams, she wouldn't be haunted by such harsh words. Or so she thought.       The black of unconsciousness dissipated to stark light as Eilonwy blinked her eyes open. The sky above was bright and brilliant and blue, a perfect summer day. "Good morning, sleepyhead" a familiar voice cooed. The maiden turned to see her sister Helene sitting beside her, golden locks upswept in a generically formal style. Her long fingers reached down to pluck daisies from the damp earth, twirling the stems around like rings and snipping the petals away with dainty precision. As Eilonwy propped herself up on her elbows, the whole of the Narnian shore spanned before her. For the first time in a long time, she was speechless by it's beauty.       "Where's mother? Papa?" Eilonwy asked. Her heart was beginning to rise in her throat with excitement-- how she longed to see them again! Helene simply giggled that stupid, girlish giggle she did when flirting with suitors and barrelled down the coast, forcing Eilonwy to rush after her. Chiffon skirts swayed in the sea breeze and tangled between her legs, their translucent fabric mimicking the swell and fall of the ocean itself. As the pair grew nearer to Cair Paravel, they came into view: mother and father standing in the beach grass watching as their daughters splashed each other wildly. Without any reservations, Helene leapt into the ocean water, dress ballooning around her waistline. A smile like the crescent moon spread across Amalthea's lips, shrieking with laughter as Elara chased her deeper into the sea. Andrastea grinned wildly at the sight of her baby sister, slapping at Elara's arm to alert her of her presence. The moment Elara's eyes landed on Eilonwy, a scream of joy burst from within her and she scrambled up onto the beach to greet the maiden.       "Ellie, dear! Isn't it such a beautiful day?" she gushed. There was something off about her, though. Something in her eyes. Eilonwy nodded quietly, glancing to her other sisters. In one swift movement, Elara scooped Eilonwy's hands up in hers and tugged her toward the beach. "The water's perfect! Just like a bath! Say you'll join us? Pretty please?"       "W-well, I don't know. I'm not really dressed for--" Eilonwy started but was quickly interrupted.       "Oh, come now, Ellie! Just a quick dip! You've never worried about ruining your clothes before!" Elara said. Despite her protest, Eilonwy wasn't given much of a choice. Elara's grip had become uncharacteristically strong as she dragged Eilonwy nearer and nearer to the water. In the distance, her sisters danced and sang and cooed her forward, voices like lullabies, melodic and perhaps even growing eerie.       "Ellie, dear! Just a quick dip! Come now!" Elara kept whining, clenching her hands even tighter around Eilonwy's wrist each time she fought back.       "N-no! Elara, please! I'm not--!" the maiden shouted until suddenly a strong something grasped her waist and tugged her backwards.       "Let her go!" Elara shouted, eyes turning red. A shriek escaped from Eilonwy's lips as she struggled against both forces.       "Stop it! Unhand me!" she shouted.       "Ellie, wake up! Wake up, Eilonwy!" a third, indistinguishable voice then called. It transformed as it progressed: a demonic echo slowly became a panicked plea. "Eilonwy! Don't do this!"       "Let me go! Get off me!" she continued to shout. Elara's mouth opened wide, revealing a collection of sharp fangs, as a blood curdling scream broke free and plunged Eilonwy into complete darkness. Then, her grip had fully released. Eilonwy tumbled backward, gasping for breath and feeling around in the darkness for anything to cling to. The earth felt as if it was tipping and cracking beneath her feet and in that moment, she was sure the end of days had finally come. Her face was soaking wet, as was her nightgown and her hair. And in the midst of it all, she still felt a strong something around her waist. "Let me go...by Aslan, all that is holy, let me go..." she whispered desperately.       "Eilonwy! Eilonwy, it's me!" a voice called. The strong something lifted her to her feet and a hand brushed the wet matted hair away from her face. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky and the face of her captor.       "P-Peter!" Eilonwy screamed. There was terror in his eyes as he fought to hold her steady, her wet body constantly slipping out of reach.       "What do you think you're doing? You're about to get yourself killed!" he yelled. Obviously she had lost all common sense. Eilonwy wanted to fight back but upon opening her mouth, she produced no sound. She was suddenly very aware that it was not only rain soaking her face but tears and the moment she discovered this, they came pouring even harder than before. Without another word, Peter gripped her wrist tightly and guided her back down to the hallway, away from all the chaos. "You're soaking wet, you must be freezing" he muttered to himself, stealing the blanket from his bed and wrapping it around her shoulders. Mindlessly, she fell onto his bed like a rag doll and curled up in the comfort of his sheets. "What on earth were you doing? You could've been killed! You could've fallen overboard and drowned! Is that what you want? Is it your goal in life to give me a damn heart attack?" he shouted.       All Eilonwy could do was shiver and cry. It was perhaps the most vulnerable Peter had ever seen her and he quickly began to feel incredibly guilty for all he had said and done. He looked around the room frantically, trying to think of what to do, before hesitantly inching closer and sitting beside her on the bed. He noticed that when she cried, she didn't wail dramatically or even sob. She just laid there staring off into space, tears cascading down her cheeks with the occasional pathetic whimper. She was crumbling and Peter, suddenly acting on pure instinct, pulled her into his lap like a child and held her as close as possible. She immediately buried her face in the crook of his neck, her hot tears dampening his skin, and there she stayed until she fell asleep. And then, once unconscious, Peter scooted back with her toward the head of the bed and attempted to lay her down, but she refused to let go of him. Unable to release himself from her grip, he sighed and scooted downward to rest both their heads on the pillow, laying there with her through the rest of the night.       As the sunlight filtered through the window of Peter's chamber, Eilonwy groaned and blinked awake. Her eyes were bloodshot and crusted shut and every limb in her body ached. Sitting up, however, she made a terrifying realization: she was alone in Peter's bed. A gasp escaped her as she jumped out from under the sheets, a long list of worst case scenarios running through her head. She remembered their fight, and laying in her own bed, but not much else afterwards. Anything proceeding was a hazy memory she would soon forget.       "Peter...?" she called, poking her head out the doorway. The corridor was completely clear. The High King was nowhere to be found. "Can you imagine the scandal that would come of anyone finding out about this? Ha! Some sloppy huntress found in bed with the High fucking King of Narnia! Priceless" she muttered to herself as she tiptoed back to her chamber. Perhaps it was all just a big misunderstanding. Perhaps no one would ever know. By Aslan, she hoped no one would ever know. The clock in her room read 9:47am. Surely she was running late for breakfast but by now, she was so disoriented she scarcely cared. At least she was still alive.       Eilonwy peered into the dining room once dressed and freshened up, finding everyone just finishing their breakfasts. Alright, I'll just sneak in once they all leave and eat the leftovers. Like a dog scrounging for table scraps. Yeah, she thought to herself but before she could carry out her plan, a familiar voice called to her.       "Good morning, sleepyhead" Peter greeted. A pang of pain hit her chest. Wincing, she turned to enter the room and smiled painfully.       "Please don't say that" she whispered, refusing to meet Peter's eyes. Suspicion flashed across his face but he let it slide.       "How did you sleep last night?" Susan inquired as she stirred her tea.       "Oh, like a baby!" Eilonwy lied. "Something about the rhythmic rocking of boats is just so...lulling!"       "There's some leftover pancakes on the serving cart" Edmund said, cocking his head toward the platter. Eilonwy nodded and thanked him quietly, rising from her seat to serve herself. When she returned, a stack of pancakes ten layers high sat in front of her, resulting in some rather curious looks.       "I'm starved!" Eilonwy gushed, shoving a massive bite into her mouth with a cheesy grin.       Licking her lips, Susan nodded and then lifted her napkin from her lap. "Well then, I think I'll take a morning stroll along the deck. Ed, would you care to join me?" she said, giving her brother a knowing glance. Edmund quickly nodded, scarfed down what little food remained on his plate, and scurried out of the room alongside his sister. Panic rose in Eilonwy's throat watching them leave but she continued shoveling food into her mouth in hopes that Peter might leave soon, as well.       He watched her curiously before chuckling and finally breaking the silence. "If you take any bigger bites, you'll choke to death." Eilonwy paused a moment before swallowing her food and slowly lifted another bite to her lips. A beat of silence. "You have a thing for near-death experiences, don't you?" he then asked.       "Peter, what the hell are you talking about?" the maiden asked. If he meant Beruna, ample time had already passed to be pinning shame on her disobedience again. The High King rose from the other end of the table to float closer, running his hand innocently along the backs of chairs.       "Don't you remember last night?" he asked. Eilonwy spluttered and fumbled for her water glass.       "What about last night?" she croaked. She felt like she was going to be sick.       "I'm surprised you didn't wake up the entire boat with your screaming!" Peter exclaimed. Instantly, Eilonwy shot up from her seat and pointed her fork at him.       "Listen, whatever you did to me last night--" she started.       "Wait, Eilonwy, what are you talking about?" Peter asked. Genuine confusion crossed his face.       "W-w-what was it? Was it the transparency of my nightgown? My cleavage? Or was the heat of our fight far too unbearable and you just had to get in my pants? Hmm?" she accused.       "Whoa, whoa, Eilonwy! Calm down! Th-that's not it at all!" Peter begged.       "Well what was it then? Huh? What was it that just made you so damn aroused?!"       "You really don't remember...?" Peter asked softly, cautiously coming nearer.       "I'll stab you! I'll scream!" Eilonwy threatened.       "Eilonwy, I didn't take advantage of you!" Peter demanded. "If you didn't take advantage of me, then why did I wake up this morning in your bed? Huh? Explain that, your majesty!" she replied, a wildness and mocking tone filtering through her voice.       "You nearly went overboard!" he finally said. Eilonwy froze dead in her tracks. There was no way. He was lying. Cocking an eyebrow, she eyed him suspiciously and urged him to continue. "I woke up last night to hear you screaming from the deck. There was a terrible storm so I couldn't possibly imagine why you'd be out there, especially at such a late hour. When I went to check on you, you were nearly over the edge and soaking wet. It was like you were in some kind of trance, maybe in the middle of a nightmare or something. I tried to pull you back but you kept fighting me. Finally, I got a hold of you and led you back to my room to warm you up. You just flopped onto my bed and wouldn't leave so I let you stay there and that's all that happened, okay? I didn't take advantage of you! I would never take advantage of you" Peter explained.       As she listened to him tell his tale, suddenly everything grew clearer. Images of her family and the Narnian shores flashed through her brain, of Elara's piercing red eyes and deadly grip. "Oh my god..." Eilonwy murmured softly. Knees weakening, she fell into the nearest chair and dropped the fork to the ground.       "A-are you okay...? Eilonwy...?" Peter asked softly. He slowly dropped down into the chair beside her, rested a gentle hand atop hers but she quickly pulled hers away. "Listen, Eilonwy..." he then sighed. "I'm sorry about last night. About our argument. I guess...I guess I was just scared. Aslan knows I still am. I've had a lot on my plate but it wasn't right for me to lash out at you like that. I guess just between you and Ed and Lu and Su, I just...I'm so terrified of what we're going to find when we finally land on Galma. I don't want to put anyone at risk of contracting whatever disease is over there. I don't want to lose anyone. Including you."       Eilonwy slowly raised her eyes to look upon him, studying the contours of his face. "You really mean that?" she whispered. He nodded.       "You drive me crazy sometimes, but somehow you simultaneously keep me sane. You're the only one I feel I can really talk to. You understand. I never should've told you not to come back to Cair Paravel with us" he said. "After all, it was your home first anyways."       The maiden chuckled softly. "Well, just try not to lose that big head of yours" she murmured, patting his head awkwardly. He smiled back at her and once again, she swore she felt that same energy flickering between them that she had felt on that dance floor. An electric charge willing their lips closer together. His eyes glanced to her mouth as he slowly leaned in closer.       "I'll do my best" he whispered, now so close she could feel his warm breath on her skin. Her eyes began to slowly shut, terrified but unable to stop what was happening. Just as their lips nearly brushed against one another, however, a voice called from the hallway.         "Land ho! Galma ahead!"       Instantly, Peter snapped from his trance, leaning back with eyes wide. "Lucy!" he murmured. Without wasting another second, he leapt from his chair and barrelled down the hallway, leaving Eilonwy by her lonesome in the dining room. Her hand rose to graze her lips with soft fingertips, cursing under her breath, before shaking the thoughts from her head and chasing after him. She didn't have time to think of such silly, pointless things. People were dying. Lucy was in danger. There were far more important things demanding her attention. And as she reached the top deck, she was met with them head on.

[babylon-bitch]

Just Friends (part 18)

https://www.google.bg/search?q=thigh+high+boots+outfit&client=tablet-android-samsung&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjhl9v80LzRAhVhGsAKHfeQCMwQ_AUIBygB&biw=800&bih=1280#tbm=isch&q=

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Syd0_pZi2sY

Its Christmas eve, everyone is rushing around and getting excited. Everyone is going over to my grandparents in a bit. So I’m just waiting for everyone, whilst on my phone.

Nothing much has happened recently, it just been the build up to Christmas. Watching Christmas films, eating Christmas food, decorating the house, seeing everyone, and wearing shitty Christmas jumpers. That’s Christmas for you.

Evie’s parents arrived a couple of days ago, so everyone is officially here.

Back home, is the same, nothing has gone on. I’ve spoken to Luke on Skype a couple of times, just messing around and catching up. But with the time zones, one of us is tired, or we don’t speak at all because one’s a sleep. We both understand that though.

“Harper you ready?” My mum asks.

“Yes, I was ready ten minutes ago.” I answer.

“Aww, that jumper is cute.” My mum chuckles.

“Thanks.” I smile.

I’m wearing a Christmas jumper and some black jeans, nothing special, but festive.

“Hey, I’ve got a cool one too.” Angus chimes in.

“Oh my God.” I laugh.

Its a naked father Christmas, like you can see his dick and balls.

“Angus! You are going to be around children!” Mum scolds.

“It is pretty good though.” I admit.

“See, Harper likes it.” Angus reasons.

“For the grand finale.” Josh gestures as he walks past us.

“That’s so stupid, why Josh?” I look at him in pity.

“It’s true, Jesus’ birthday is soon.” He tells us.

“That’s so bad, even by my standards.” Angus laughs.

Its Jesus and it says happy birthday on it.

“I can’t fault you that it is his birthday.” I say.

“Oh just go.” My dad ushers us out.

Grabbing my leather jacket off the hook and shrugging it on as I walk out the door.

“No.” I say as I notice what the boy’s are doing. “I’m not sitting in the middle.” I tell them.

“What was that Harper?” Angus smirks as he pushes me into the car.

“Hey! I just did my hair and make up.” I whine.

Angus proceeds to ignore me and shut the door.

“I hate you.” I glare at Angus.

“Love you too Harps.” He smugly teases and hugs he but I push him off.

Half an hour later, we reach our grandparents’ house. Their house is in the country side, and it is so beautiful here. I’m more of a city person, but damn if I got offered to live here, I wouldn’t have to think twice.

“Hello darling.” My grandma smiles.

“Hey.” I greet.

“How are you?” She asks.

“I’m good thanks, yourself?” I repeat.

“Very well thanks.” She answers.

“Grandpa!” I chuckle.

“Hello Harper.” He greets.

“Evie, Mark and Anna are here already.” He tells me.

“Thanks.” I smile and walk through to the lounge, Josh trailing behind me.

Josh puts his arms on my shoulders and pushes me forwards but still holds on to me. “Saved your life.” He laughs.

“Anna! The boy’s are being mean to me again.” I whine like a child.

“Aw poor baby.” She cooes.

I laugh and hug everyone. Taking a seat next to Evie and poking her sides. “Stop.” She giggles.

“Get off your phone then.” I tell her.

She rolls her eyes and locks her phone, letting it drop to her side.

“My brother’s have been a dick this morning.” I groan.

“Aren’t they always?” She chuckles.

“True that.”

Pulling my phone out and scrolling through Twitter.

“What so I can’t be on my phone, but you can?” Evie questions.

“I’ve got followers to tend to.” I smugly say.

“Uh phone equality please.” She jokes and I burst out laughing.

“Could you take a photo with me, so I can get more followers.” Evie questions.

“So your using me?” I put it simply.

“Yeah, so shut up and look like you love me.” She orders.

***

Its a couple of hours later now, and I’m meeting some old school friends, Laura and Delilah. I kept contact with them when I moved back to Australia, we aren’t like really close, but we like to catch up every now and then. “Hi!” Delilah shrieks.

“Hey!” I grin and hug her.

“How have you been?” She asks.

“Good, I’ve been busy with school and shit, you?” I reply.

“Alright actually, yeah same, got A-levels to study for.” She tells me.

“Are you going to uni?” I question.

“Yeah, are you?” She asks as we sit down own her bed.

“I don’t know, I’ve been toying with the idea, but I don’t have a fucking clue.” I answer.

“Would you go to one here or in Australia?” Delilah question.

“I feel like I would want to go to uni here, because my brothers and cousin do, but also I don’t want to leave my friends behind. I mean they will probably be busy with tours and stuff, but I’ve also got my friend Erika who will be left behind. Not because she’s incapable of doing anything, we’re all in the same friend group, and she likes to be in Australia. ” I explain.

“Right, tough one. Catch 22.” She says.

“Harper!” Someone shouts my name.

Looking around I see Laura. “Laura!” I laugh and get up to hug her.

“How are you?” She asks.

“I’m good thanks, yourself?” I repeat.

“Great!” She smiles.

“Powerpuff girls unite!” Delilah giggles as she joins in on our hug.

We all pull apart and sit on Delilah’s bed.

“Oh yeah, you may know this, or not. But I’m bisexual.” Delilah tells me.

“Congratulations!” I smile and give her a hug. “Is that something people say?” I question.

“Well it’s a good reaction, so I’ll take it.” She chuckles.

“It took her a good ten minutes to come out with it.” Laura laughs. “See what I did there ha ha.” She smirks.

“I’m laughing at you.” I remark.

She flips me off.

It a couple of hours later now, we’ve just been catching up, Laura broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years a couple of months ago and Delilah learnt how to play guitar. In fact we are filmed a video, we’ve combined a load of songs together and Delilah is playing the guitar. 

“Well done guys.” Laura claps.

“Woooo,” I say and turn off the camera. “I’ll import the footage later.” I tell them.

(video at the top)

They nod and pull out their phones, joining the club, I pull mine out too. “Social.” I mutter.

“Fuck off alright.” Laura points at me.

“Yeah Harps.” Delilah chuckles.

“Wow two against one.” I pout.

Laura flips me off. “You got told.” Delilah nudges.

“Yeah, I did.” I agree.

“Remember when Delilah thought it would be a good idea to eat paint?” Laura says and I laugh at the memory.

“I was shitting so much. It wasn’t green though.” Delilah laughs.

“Ew, too much information.” I say.

“To be honest, it did kind of taste good, the aftertaste wasn’t so much.” Laura admits.

“What is wrong with you?” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Everything.” She chuckles.

“We did some weird shit in primary school. We weren’t even that young when we ate the paint.” Delilah points out.

“Do you still play Harper? Like instruments?” Laura asks.

The three of us used to mess around in music room, Laura and Delilah used to sing, and I would play the piano. As well as just playing other instruments (badly). It was really fun, we weren’t trying to get anywhere with it, just having fun. They are the only people that know about my secret ‘talent’, only the piano though.

“Every now and then I guess, I don’t own one you see.” I lie.

I just go on lockdown mode when people ask me about instruments, my singing or anything like that, and I can’t help it.

“Understandable.” Delilah nods.

“You should get back into it.” Laura suggests.

“Maybe.” I shrug.

***

Its around seven, and I left the girls a while ago. Everybody is over again, everyone spread out through the house. Evie, Reuben and I are in my room, and everyone else I don’t know.

We’re going out to dinner, it’s kinda a tradition we do. We’ve all gotten ready, just waiting for everyone else to do what ever they need to do. I’m wearing a black dress and black thigh high boots, and I’m going to wear a burgundy coloured coat.

(Picture at the top, but with out all the accessories.)

Evie is wearing a red dress, for Christmas sakes, and some cute ankle boots with a heel and laces. Looking very festive.

“I had fun catching up with the girls again today.” I say.

“I’m glad, I guess you’re pretty much always with boys, and its nice to get away from them for a while.” Evie replies.

“We’re together pretty much all the time, I’ve got Erika but that’s not enough.” I explain.

“Yeah, I get your wavelength.”

“I’m tired, but I’m also excited.” I cry out as I lie down onto my bed. “And hungry.” I notice.

“I’m not really excited for Christmas really. Its not about the presents anymore for me. It’s more about seeing everyone, and the festivity.” Evie tells me.

“Me too, I guess we’ve grown out of that phase, I like the build up more than the actual day.” I agree.

“Totally b-” Evie gets cut off by Josh walking through the door.

“Do you know how to knock?” I claim.

“Time to go.” He ignores my question.

“Alright.” Evie says.

“Come on sausage.” I poke at Reuben.

Picking him up and walking down the stairs.

“Harper!” He giggles as I spin him around.

“Here.” I laugh and put him down.

“Thanks.” He smiles up at me and runs over to his mum Lauren.

Walking over to the coat rack by the door, I take my coat off of the hook and sliding into it. “Wow, someone looks pretty.” Someone whistles behind me.

Turning around I see Lauren. “Oh stop it!” I blush. “Look at you!” I point.

“I’m not as hot as you. Luke would be swooning.” She teases.

I flip her off. “See this, take it and shove it so far up your arse.” I laugh.

“Touchy subject?” She smirks.

“I’m not having this conversation.” I warn.

“Harper your nearly as tall as Luke.” Angus walks in saying.

“If I did date Luke would you all shut up?” I question.

“Definetly.” Lauren adds.

“I might as well have to, if you guys won’t stop.” I roll my eyes.

“Good.” Angus smirks.

“Are we all ready to go?” My dad asks to everyone.

A series of yes’ went around the little room by the door, filled with so many people.

Half an hour later we make it to the restaurant, I’m walking and talking with my grandma, just catching up. “What’s a vampires favourite fruit?” Angus asks me.

“Uh, I don’t know.” I answer.

“Neck-tarines.” He reveals.

I make a drum sound and laugh. “Bu-dum shhh.”

“Dork.” I tell him.

He childishly sticks his tongue out at me and sits down.

Hours later, we’re getting ready to leave, but children are running around all over the place. “Emily, if you don’t get back here right now, father Christmas won’t give you any presents.” I play that trick.

I’m trying to get emily, Evie is trying to get Toby, Lauren is trying to get Lilly, the only sensible one is Reuben, who is sat with my brother’s.

“I can’t run in heels.” I groan.

“I’m so sorry.” I tell an old lady as Emily walks into her, she smiles and carrys on walking. Grabbing onto her little forearm and picking her up.

“Naughty.” I say into her ear.

She rests her head onto my shoulder. “Are you tired?” I coo, and I feel her nod. “Well be home soon.” I reassure.

“I got one.” I say as I retreat to the table.

“Me too.” Evie adds.

“Bloody Lauren, can’t even get her own children.” My mum jokes and we laugh.

“Got her.” Lauren sighs.

“Ready?” Mark questions.

We walk out the restaurant and into separate cars, I keep Emily with me because she’s fallen asleep in my arms.

Mum opens the door for us as we walk up the drive way, she got here before us, along with Mark and Anna, as well as my dad.

“I’ve got a video to edit, so I’ll see you later.” I tell everyone as I give Emily to Mark.

***

An hour and a bit later, I’ve finished editing and its about to go up. “Harper, everyone’s going now.” Josh calls.

“Okay.” I call back, moving my laptop off of my lap and jogging down the stairs.

“Goodbye love.” My grandma hugs me.

10 minutes later, everyone has left and we’ve said our goodbye’s. Jogging back up the stairs, and into my room.

Checking the few comments I’ve got, until I get interrupted by a Skype call from Luke.

Obviously answering but not turning the camera on, because I just don’t want. “Hi?” Luke smiles.

“Hey.” I reply.

“Turn on your webcam.” He groans.

“Why?” I chuckle.

“Because I wanna see your pretty little face.” He winks and I blush, good thing he can’t see me.

“Fine.” I cave and turn it on and wave. “Happy?” I ask.

“Yep.” He smugly smiles. “I like your video you just uploaded.” Luke complements.

“Aww thanks.” I giggle.

“Who were the girls?” He questions.

“Delilah was playing guitar and Laura was on her left.” I answer.

“How do you know them? I’ve never heard you talk about them.” He asks confused.

“Oh just some old school friends, we aren’t super close, but they are the only people I kept in contact with. I meet up with them every time I come back.” I reply.

“Cool, you all sounded great by the way.” He smiles.

“Thank you. In fact I should tell them its up.” I tell myself really.

Pulling my phone out and texting them both.

Couple of minutes later I turn back to my laptop and see Luke just staring at me. “So how was your day?” I ask.

“Well I got up a few hours ago, but yeterday, the boys, Erika, and I went to the park, then went to Calum’s. We hung out there for a while, and I came back home.” He explains. “You?” He questions.

“Umm, we went to my grandparent’s house, then I went to Delilah’s, caught up with them for a while, came back home, everyone was over. We then went out for dinner, which was a nightmare with the children, they kept running around, and I can’t run in heels. We came back and I edited the video, and now I’m talking to you.” I tell him.

“I love seeing you with your family. You get so happy.” He chuckles.

“I love it too, I haven’t had the best family life I guess you could say, and being all together again is great.” I agree.

“Good!” He smiles.

“Lukey? Is that you?” I get interrupted by Angus.

“Go away.” I groan

“Hey Angus.” Luke laughs.

“Hi! I’m your favourite person.” Angus says.

“Yeah, fuck Harper.” He laughs.

“Uh, excuse me?” I fake being hurt.

“Love you really!” He says like a child.

“Ooo live Larper action going on.” Angus teases.

“Angus, fuck off!” I tell him.

“Alright, I leave you to your boyfriend.” He jokes.

I flip him off as he walks out the door. “Shut the fucking door.” I shout.

“Alright woman.”

He closes the door and I sigh looking back at Luke, who’s stifling a laugh.

“Well I better go, if I’m going to be dealing with excited children tomorrow.” I tell him.

“Alright.” He chuckles. “I love you, and I miss you.” He pouts.

A smile forms on my face when he says I love you, he ment it so genuinely. “I love you too, I’ll be home soon. Have a nice Christmas, and I’ll probably speak to you tomorrow.” I reply.

“You too, love you bye.” He grins and hangs up.

Luke’s pov

God, I love her, so fucking much. I know I’ve barely had “couple time” with her, we’re not even together, but I’m glad I finally plucked up the courage to just kiss her. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

The day I got back, I went round to Isobel’s house and broke up with her. She took it well, I guess. She said some colourful and hurtful words by they didn’t hurt me. It was never serious anyway.

I can’t wait for her to get back here and be able to kiss her soft lips again, and some other stuff (if you know what I mean). She promised me she’ll carry on what we started, and I’m holding it too her.

I’m about to meet up with everyone, we’ve decided to meet up at Michael’s house.

Knocking on the door, Erika opens it almost immediately.  “Hey.” I smile and pull her into a hug

“How are you?” She asks.

“Good, you?” I repeat.

“Great.” She simply replies as she closes the door.

“Hi.” I say and sit next to Calum.

“Whats up?” He asks.

“Not much, just got off Skype with Harper.” I answer

“What she up to?” Ashton questions.

“Shes going to bed, that’s all.” I tell him.

“Have you seen Sarah’s Instagram? It is full of photos of Harper and other people that I don’t know.” Calum asks.

“Luke will definitely like the pictures of Harper.” Erika teases.

I mean yeah, I will like the pictures of her.

I lie and roll my eyes. Cal passes me his phone and I scroll through. Fuck, the picture of her in a dress from earlier.

Aww the pictures of her with her cousins.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Calum takes his phone off me.

Michael makes an excited sound and looks intrigued by his laptop. “What?” Ashton asks for all of us.

“Harper’s new video.” He says and puts his laptop on the table next to him and turns the sound up.

“Damn.” Erika speaks for us all, I saw it before but it is really good.

“Who are they?” Michael asks.

“Old school friends.” I answer.

“You know?” Calum questions.

“Of course I know, I just spoke to her. The one playing guitar is Delilah, and the other girl is Laura.” I point out.

“Oh, Delilah seem cool.” Cal smirks.

“I miss Harper.” Erika blurts out.

“Agreed, she keeps everyone sane.” Ashton tells us.

“Even if she is weird herself.” Calum chuckles.

“Me too.” I agree with a smirk on my face.

“Of course you do Luke, she’s your girlfriend.” Michael jokes.

I mean… soon to be.