#see i'm the living icarus

[maburito]

Nintendo please add Kid Icarus : Of Myths and Monsters on the Nintendo Switch Online Gameboy please please please

Or at least give me Metroid Prime for fuck sake

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

might've cooked too hard on this. it sure is. so many worbs. [18,320 words, to be exact.]

but, i commit to my bit, and I will continue to do so because i'm a *loser* - so, welcome to the “sage looked at the c!sherb playlist and went far more bonkers than probably necessary” post. because uh. nothing i say ever stays a bit very long-

—

[Section One - Man. Icarus Morningstar is such a character. The most character of all time.]

-> [Icarus]

-> In my mind, this is 2 to 3 people talking to/about Icarus. The first section, up until the instrumental in the middle, being Centross. Just the whole idea of drinking, it feels very much Centross about them. (“Living beyond your years” is very reset coded - not Centross talking about them, but the rest of that section definitely feels like Centross.) The second section, up until “you put up your defenses when you leave”, is very much Fable talking about them. Just the whole idea of them falling - he would've been the one to see that - and the whole idea of him being scared of that happening again and again and *again.* The last section, following that, could be argued it's either Centross or Rae. How they both know that Icarus puts up this front, this armor, when they talk to people, when they walk around, and only really *really* drop that when they're alone or when Centross or Rae is around. (Well. There's an argument that they *don't* drop their walls completely around Centross or Rae, but this is playlist analysis, not character analysis-)

(Also the whole reset idea of Icarus dying over and over again, forgetting over and over again - falling over and over again.)

-> [Redesign Your Logo]

-> This is very much about the whole change from *just* yellow's and golds, to the yellow and purple color scheme they end up with due to the eye. It's very Midas to Icarus coded, basically. Because as a kid, they were mostly dressed up in yellows, but as time went on, and as the eye happened, and as the resets started, that *changed.* they shifted into wearing purples more often, mixing them with yellow - for all intents and purposes, redesigning the logo they had previously had. Also the whole idea of the trident changing from the trident to the Quixis symbol - cause. Yeah that's kinda Icarus’ logo. (The argument could also be made about how they become nicer with the eye and the following resets - their logo, their typical-ness of being a snarky asshole shifts into being something kind and caring and compassionate. It's Redesigned, and it's at least *partially* Midas’ doing.)

-> [Any Day Now]

-> Icarus about the wack. How they want it to stop, *think* it will stop, soon. It'll stop ‘any day now’ - it can't keep going forever, can it? (Also the pain Icarus is constantly going through - the bad, the horrible and the terrible and the suffering - it'll stop eventually, right? It can't keep going on forever - it'll stop any day now as long as they can *make it* there, make it to the point they're good and happy and it can stop. They just have to keep going and it’ll *stop.*)

-> [&]

-> Icarus’ hypocrisy. How they do things, harm, yell at, everything like that, to others - while doing the same things they're berating others for themself. How they'll do one thing, and call it fine, while criticizing that *exact* same thing. Also could be seen in a light of Fable talking about Icarus’ actions and friendships and things of that sort.

-> [Comb Attack]

-> Okay this one is. Mmm. Okay. Most of the words in here are very glitchy, very cut off from each other - something about the resets cutting off Icarus? Cutting their words off, cutting their actions off, cutting their memories off, *glitching* them.

-> [Hungover in the City of Dust]

-> Icarus’ Isolation. How their friends are constantly leaving them alone and isolated, and how they're constantly pushing people away, and how they're left running around in circles trying to catch up, trying to save themself, figure out what's wrong, figure out how to *fix it.*

-> [Mr. Backwards]

-> Icarus’ more backwards way of thinking. How they'll tell you what they *want* How they're hurting, but they're not going to tell you. How they're trying so desperately to not let people see that, seem so backward to others.

-> [Never Meant to Know]

-> Just the whole idea that there is so much about this world that Icarus cannot and should not be privy to until the correct time - how they live their life rather peacefully up to that point, not knowing, never knowing. The whole idea of the resets - and how really, truly, Icarus wasn’t supposed to know about *any* of this, how they were supposed to be *dead* and they’re not, they were genuinely *never* meant to know.

-> [Out of the Box]

-> Resets. The whole idea that Icarus has died again and again - and that whole like. Abrupt manner of the resets. How they can be doing something one moment and the next they're outside, surrounded by grass and surprised.

-> [Digital Silence]

-> Icarus siding with Fable, and really, Icarus’ actions in general - How they have to do this, regardless of what others say, and regardless of how it makes them *feel* - they *need* to do what they're doing right now; it's all a means to an end and they *need to* do it - because if they don't, things could go very wrong and very different. (Different in a bad way, of course.)

-> [Alien Blues]

-> Just kind of describing Icarus’ whole life - the pain, the bad, the terrible. The whole idea Icarus plays everything off as a joke - they *don't* let people see what really happens, and the snark and asshole attitude people give them because of that. Also maybe the whole idea of the way the things snark them sometimes after bad things, when they're repeating history in a bad way. (Also also also “I'd do anything for you, Mrs. Highness” something about how they’d do anything for Fable, *anything* - even if it meant killing their family, if it meant that he might love them; if it meant they’d be good and they’d have succeeded in something - succeeded instead of *failing.*)

-> [Under My Skin]

-> Just. Everything with being not entirely yourself. Everything about being yourself on the outside, but having someone else simmering right under your skin, telling you things, making you do things. The entire idea that Icarus isn't entirely all *themself.*

-> [Able]

-> That whole idea of Icarus not wanting to be alone in their own mind sometimes, on top of wanting to just be *fine* - on time of trying to so desperately *convince* themself that they're all entirely and completely fine. Saying it out loud so it properly sets into their mind, so it properly comes to fruition.

-> [Mirror Man]

-> That need to be *seen* by someone - anyone. That need to be heard and seen and known by someone - and the knowledge that if they don't, Icarus will make it worse for not only themself, but *everyone* else - make them live Icarus’ nightmare.

-> [Brass Goggles]

-> A) Copper duo; B) That whole idea, almost, that Icarus likes to shove down their feelings. They like to pretend the Icarus that has bad, upset emotions doesn't exist - at least, when in front of people. That whole idea that they try to present themself as someone who doesn't break down in front of others, they try not to cry and they try so desperately to keep this facade up and teach themself more as time goes on how to do so.

-> [Bleed Magic]

-> In my mind, this is very Midas talking to Icarus. Just that whole idea of Midas knowing what Icarus is like; that whole idea that Icarus is *lonely*, that no one believes them just because of how much they *lied*, and is, somehow, bleeding magic out. Literally, in the direct form of Sherbert's eye (Which was, in a way, *killing* Sherbert - not necessarily the bleeding eye, just simply the fact they didn’t become Quixis when they needed to), as well as the whole concept that due to the fact they didn't become Quixis when they should've, Midas has spent far far too much time and energy and *magic* on them. Icarus literally draining them, bleeding them, leaving them with such little control.

-> [Gold]

-> This being about how everything they touch changes no matter what they do, how they try so hard to keep if from changing - but the wack is random, Midas’ can't control it, and so it *changes,* it changes gold and bright. Everything they touch changes to gold, huh?

-> [Gold]

-> Just, I guess, that whole idea that no matter how many people leave them, or get killed around them, or anything like that, they'll come back. The idea that those people can't break like that, because Icarus has always seen them like a rock that *can't* break.

-> [creature]

-> That whole idea of how Icarus *is* Creation's child. They are creation, in a way. They push His ideals, however subconsciously, into people. He is leading their way, and will be, and this is a good thing. And Icarus pushes and pushes this idea - showing both the good parts of themself, not quite the good parts of Creation, as well as the bad more twisted parts, parts almost completely Fable's fault due to them almost being *His* ideals. (“I am creation, both haunted and holy.”) Also almost that whole idea of the resets, their body re-created and re-created over and over and *over* again. They *are* the embodiment of Creation's powers - a person remade through Him, made in His image, made to be the person *He* wants them to be. Haunted, in the idea they might as well be a ghost, and Holy simply because Fable deems them as such - deems them His favorite.

-> [Path to Isolation]

-> A) Oh my gods this song is so fucking coded what the fuck; B) The whole idea of how loss, be it of someone, or *something* - leads them down this path. Leads Icarus so often down this path of immense anger, leads them down the path of the side of the enemy. That whole idea of everything breaking, be it through their own means or someone else's. That whole idea that going down this path so often means that they're so incredibly alone, and means they can't *recognize* themself - they don't know who they've become in all this pain and hell and *bad*, they can't find it. They just keep falling apart and they don't even know when or where to begin to pick up the pieces.

-> [Bet On It]

-> Just that whole idea that Icarus wants to do the right thing, so desperately. Despite all their doubts, their disbelief, their questions about this world, they want to do the right thing - they *will* do the right thing. They need to. They've put all their effort into doing the right thing - it'd all fall apart if they didn't continue to do that.

[Section Two - Broters. also family <3]

-> [Problems]

-> Am I aware this is on the playlist because of Charles? Yes. Am I going to say this is brothers coded anyway? *absolutely.* Because it is brothers coded - something about Icarus seeing themself as bad and someone who can't be saved, while they view their brother in a significantly better light, and see him as the good one and the one who's gonna save them.

-> [Two Birds]

-> *Separation* - This is very much Icarus and Rae drifting away from each other. Icarus drifting away and leaving and hiding, while Rae continues time and time and *time* again to help them and save them and drag them back *home.*

-> [Family Line]

-> Something just about repeating history, and something about following after your parents, and something about how they'll try to change and change themself so much so they don't mirror their parents, and something about how they have to live with everything their parents have done.

-> [Call Them Brothers]

-> Separation!! Again!! The brothers are apart from each other, separated rather permanently through the resets, and, from Icarus’ point of view, they probably *can't* fix it. They can't mend themselves back together like they used to, they're broken.

-> [Brother]

-> Something about how despite being broken, despite all the separation and time lost that hangs between them, they still rely on each other. They'll still help each other no matter the cost, because, in the end, they're still brothers - they still love each other and they still *care.*

-> [Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage]

-> Icarus being trapped and isolated, be it through their own doings or their father's or *anyone's*, and how Rae will always be there to sooth them, help them, care for them, *love them.* He cares so desperately, and he'll do his best to take care of them, and Icarus *believes it* - that he loves them.

-> [Icarus]

-> This one feels *mostly* Rae talking to Icarus - Seeing just how far they've flown, and just how far they're willing to fall. That realization of what Icarus has become after all of this, and trying so very hard to drag Icarus back down in any way he can. The last part is Icarus to Rae, however. That try to get him to stop - that “you can't save me, Rae.” That acknowledgment, no matter when in the timeline, that Rae can't save Icarus. (Icarus has to be the one to save themself.)

-> [The Family Jewels]

-> Just that whole idea of cycles - that whole idea of just fucked their whole family is. That whole idea that this cycle of pain and suffering will continue until *they* (Icarus) stops it. Their almost snark to Rae, that idea that they only share *one* last name - Morningstar - and not both. Also that whole idea of Icarus being the favorite - that Fable conditioned them to be the “better” one, conditioned them to be like *this.* (Also just the whole idea of “jewels” - royalty. That idea, almost, of Icarus welcoming Rae to this life. This life of trying too hard, so very hard to be perfect - to be the best, to be royalty, because they have to be. And, arguably, that realization that Rae never had to live that life. That realization Rae never *had* to be the perfect one - Rae got to. Live normally, pretty much. Whereas Icarus grew up young having to be a prince and be as perfect as they could.))

-> [Sparkbird]

-> The whole idea of Icarus noticing little things, pointing them out, needing Rae to notice them. The whole idea that Icarus grew up far *far* too quickly, and Rae is almost their outlet of that - they want so desperately to make up for a) all the time they lost with the resets, and b) all the times Icarus was just an asshole to him.

-> [When the Day Met the Night]

-> Did Sherb say this was Fable, Enderian, and Isla? Yes. Am I going to say it’s brothers coded anyway? Also yes. Just the whole idea of how Rae is always there for Icarus, and how they make each other better when they’re together, and how yes, they often have their bad moments between each other, but in the end, there’s always good - in the end they always manage to find a way to have the sun shine brightly upon them, how in the end they still love and care to deeply about each other.

-> [Icarus]

-> Rae to Icarus. That whole idea that Rae can so easily see through Icarus’ front - so easily see what they're trying to hide. The idea that Rae can so easily see the danger Icarus so often leads themself to, and so often tries to deter them away from that. The whole thing of Rae so often giving Icarus an *out* - asking them questions, leading them in the right direction. (Or, at the very least, trying his hardest to do so.)

-> [I've Got You]

-> Considering this is a Zenni song, and one made for Fable specifically, it doesn't *really* need an explanation - However, just like. The whole idea that despite everything, despite all the brothers have been through and all their arguing and all their bad and terrible, Icarus and Rae still care about each other. Icarus will still keep Rae safe no matter what happens, because that's what older brothers *do*, that's what *family* does.

[Section Three - Season one, am I right or am I right-]

-> [Fine]

-> Just that whole idea at the beginning of season 1 that everything was actually *okay.* It was fine, it was okay, they were all *okay.* Nothing bad had happened yet (at least, not that they could remember), and it was all going well - and the idea that it was going to *continue* to go well. To them, nothing bad was going to happen, because why would it? It's all gone well up to this point - why would it start now?

-> [My Eyes]

-> This is very early corruption - the first part being Icarus, that slow realization of what they're falling into - bad and anger and hopelessness (almost?), and that whole idea that they're getting *worse.* The second part is Momboo - almost trying to comfort herself and Icarus, convince herself and Icarus of what they (Icarus) *really* wants - that they don't want to be bad, truly. (Regardless of their actions, and what Momboo and Co see so clearly in front of them.)

-> [If I Killed Someone for You]

-> Icarus to Momboo in early corruption. The idea of their true sense of self - or at least, the sense of self they had before - is slowly rotting away as corruption takes hold. Slowly killing the good person they were, slowly killing them, and leaving only the bad, ugly, and bloodied pieces of them. Would she still care about them, still hold their hands, if they weren't the same person she had fallen in love with?

-> Could also be viewed as Icarus to Momboo in late corruption, more towards the end, after killing Haley. How there's physically blood and gore on their hands, and would she still hold their hands knowing that that covered their hands like that.

-> [Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)]

-> Corruption. Basically Icarus to *everyone* - That snark of “am I *really* that bad?” because they know, if necessary, they can be so *so* much worse. That acknowledgment that if anyone else was in their shoes, they'd probably drop to the same lows they had - the same bad, terrible and horrible actions. (Well - they *think.* They come to know later that probably wouldn't be the case, but it's almost what they end up believing up until, really, Breaking Bonds.) Just that whole idea of their mentality during corruption - how bad they can be, and how much worse they could be, and how much someone else in their same shoes would be just as bad.

-> [Ways to Be Wicked]

-> Very Ominous Bane. Just that whole idea of there being so many ways they can just be *evil.* The whole idea of trying to convince people to join their side, to join their cause, to change the story, to be *bad.*

-> [Heathens]

-> Sherb said this is very Easton talking to Athena about Ominous Bane/Icarus, Centross, and kinda sorta Seven, and I very much agree with that. Just the whole idea of a *warning* - of how messy and chaotic and bad Ominous Bane can be. The whole idea of everything they've been through before this, be it if they remember it or not, and how it affects them still to this day. The whole concept of someone trying to warn Athena of what they're getting into, *tell them* what everyone here is like.

-> [I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE]

-> Just that whole idea of wanting to be seen as good by Enderian - almost? That whole idea of *wanting* to be her puppet, and wanting her to tell them what to do. (And that whole idea of after it, wanting to be redeemed.)

-> [Twisted]

-> Hot take - Icarus taunting people. Icarus trying to get Ominous Bane with them to help taunt people - *specifically* Athena. Just that whole idea of trying to get them to believe that, a, they're not a hero, they're not going to be - and b, this world as it is, isn't worth saving. They need to mess with it, blow stuff up, kill people, *something* to make it worth it.

-> [Ramalama (Bang Bang)]

-> Just the whole idea of Icarus and Co going around and blowing shit up. Just the snark and annoyance and bullshit they say during it, and the stuff they tell people while they're blowing stuff up - the whole *loudness* and bangs of the explosions - all of it.

-> [Secret]

-> Icarus asking Athena to keep all of this - Ominous Bane, *everything* about corruption - a secret. That loosely veiled threat of what would happen if Athena told *anyone* - what would happen to *them* if they dare spill that to others. The fact that Icarus so desperately wanted to keep corruption, keep their actions, keep Ominous Bane and Athena's involvement in it, a *secret.* (And how, in the end, they can't. Because in the end, Athena *tells* - and Athena gets hurt because of that, but they also get *saved* because of it.)

-> [Hawk in the Night]

-> Icarus to Athena - That whole idea of Athena doing good and being what Icarus wants her to be for them and Ominous Bane. That whole idea that Athena should fight against their friends, stop trying to call out to them for help, stop trying anything - and being proud when Athena would finally end up doing that, cutting ties.

-> Hot take, not in the correct spot in the playlist for this, but also Fable talking to Icarus - be it before or after the cathedral. That whole idea of Fable *wanting* Icarus to isolate themself from their friends and brother, and being pleased when they did that; as well as the whole idea of fighting your friends and family and siding with the “bad guys” and not, well, your family. (Or well, Your family family. The people who really love you. The people who’d care if you’d die. The people who want you to be there and you to be around them.)

-> [Sharks]

-> Just that whole idea of Icarus and Ominous Bane almost taunting Athena while he’s with them. The whole idea that everyone knows, that Athena thinks they can be better than everyone else (when in reality they’re just the same), and the whole idea that one day Athena will see that all she’s doing is swimming with sharks that want her gone and dead and hurt the same as everyone else.

-> Another hot take, Rae to Icarus around A Brother’s Final Stand. That whole idea that one day Icarus will realize their mistakes and missteps and wrong doings and how *Fable* is wrong, and they’ll truly realize how in too deep they are, and just how deep they’ve gone to swim with the sharks.

-> [Lies]

-> Just that whole idea of *all* the lies Icarus tells during season 1. To others, to get people on their side; to Ominous Bane to make themself look better; to *themself* to hide away they're *cracking.*

-> [We Both Reached for the Gun]

-> That whole idea of being a puppet to someone else. That whole idea of someone standing behind you, trying to control your actions and words and *everything* about you. That whole idea of corruption, being a puppet to yourself - in a weird sort of way. And that whole idea that during corruption and Ominous Bane, Centross tried so desperately to make Icarus do what *he* wanted.

-> [Wolf in Sheep's Clothing]

-> Just the whole idea of corruption. All that anger and upset and *mad* - targeted at *everyone.* Arguably, Icarus to Centross. Just that anger at how he gets to Enderian, that anger he gets to do whatever *he* wants, and they're delegated to. whatever this is. All of the arguing that happens between them - it's very season 1 prison duo.

-> [Play With Fire]

-> This is Centross and Enderian, yes; *Arguably* them almost taunting Icarus. The whole idea of them getting to do all of this, and do it *together* - while Icarus hasn't even gotten to *talk* to Enderian.

-> [Can't Stand the Rain]

-> Just that whole idea of literally not being able to stand the rain - how it's constant, how it means this just keeps going and going and *going* and they're not really getting any further than before. (Also like that whole idea of love - how there's truly no such thing as it, as long as this keeps going; as long as they’re corrupted.)

-> [Bust Your Kneecaps (Johnny Don't Leave Me)]

-> Three Strikes Three Strikes Three Strikes. This is so *incredibly* three strikes coded. Just that whole idea of Icarus taunting Athena, chasing after them and everyone else, threatening them. The way that Icarus was fully willing to hunt and kill all of them - fully willing to *go there* and hurt them like that.

-> [6up 5oh Copout (Pro / Con)]

-> This is so very prison coded. Just that whole anger at the fact they were even *put there* - the idea that people would dare misuse their trust like that to trap them. The anger of being alone and trapped and the fact no one was even *considering* letting them out. That need and what to be *out* because they were perfectly fucking *fine* - they didn't need to be trapped like this, why did they even *think* Icarus needed to be trapped like this?

-> [Murders]

-> Getting put in the prison. The idea that they go looking for something, they’re promised something and they work incredibly hard to get to that point - but in the end the prison ruins that for them. In the end, all their efforts were really worth nothing. All their efforts to see the end of this weren’t worth anything because look at where they are now. Look at where this has gotten them - trapped in a prison, panicked and alone and *hurt.*

-> [Nothing Left To Lose]

-> Loose Ends Loose Ends Loose Ends. This is so very incredibly Loose Ends coded. Just that whole idea of Icarus’ to put Centross into the prison - and their attempt at that. Then Centross almost immediately trying to put *them* back into the cell. The following argument and then Centross flying off, Icarus and Rae following. And then the whole idea of Icarus trying so *desperately* to keep him from blowing up their house - and failing because Centross just doesn't give a shit. Centross doesn't have any attachments to them anymore, they've served their purpose (his words), and he doe\snt need to keep them or their house or their anything around any longer - and so he goes through with blowing it up. He leaves Icarus alone there to pick up whatever they can.

-> [As the World Caves In]

-> The season 1 finale - just that whole idea of Centross blowing up the tree, the world literally caving in as Fable rips away yet another page. The way everyone gets ready, gathers around for the funeral of a woman none of them *really* knew, ready to mourn, but not knowing the events that would follow; they get ready for a funeral - only it’s not *only* Haley’s, but also their own. Sure they’ll come back, but the world will still cave in, and the person that sat in those seats will be long gone by the time they do.

-> Arguably also could be the season 2 reset - that whole idea of getting ready and dressing up and *armoring* up to fight Perix/The Warden and getting to that point, putting her soul into the portal frame; only to find Midas had switched Fable and Haley and it was all for nothing, and. Oh. Now the world is caving in - it’s falling apart.

-> [What if Tomorrow Comes]

-> I guess really that whole idea of hoping that Centross blowing up the tree isn't really, truly, the end of this all. That hope that tomorrow will come regardless because this can’t be the end. But also almost that doubt and unknown of if it really would come - that idea that, to them, it really seemed like they were *going* to die with no way of coming back. (And that whole idea of being proven very wrong as they wake up a few weeks later in a reset world, and slowly work to get their memories back as time goes on. That realization that tomorrow *will* come because it came once, it came tens of times before, so it’ll come again and again until they figure all of this out and stop it.)

[Section Four - Season two, why are at least a half of these about putting centross in the prison. *sherb*]

-> [New Life]

-> Just that whole idea of how since no one remembers at the beginning of the Sculk reset, they all - Icarus especially - have an opportunity to, at least until they remember properly, start anew. Icarus doesn’t remember, and for a while no one really remembers them, so they have an opportunity to have a new life; to rebuild things long since broken and make them better. Icarus doesn't have to worry about everything they did in the past if no one can remember it, meaning they get a free past to - at least, for a while, and for all intents and purposes - start a new life on a clean slate.

-> [People I Don't Like]

-> Very much Centross at the beginning of season 2 - to everyone really; though considering this *is* the Icarus playlist, it's arguably to Icarus. Just that whole idea that Centross *knows* them and everything they did and all the feelings he holds about them - and the whole idea that Icarus just. Doesn't. That whole thing of Centross trying to make himself seem good in everyone's eyes, save face and all of that - especially to Icarus. (Especially considering Icarus has/had *very* strong feelings about everything Centross did and told them and. All of that. Not that they remembered all of that at the beginning of the reset, but. Concept.)

-> [Turn The Lights Off]

-> The whole vibe at the beginning of season 2 that people shouldn't go to the end - or at least go to the end *alone* - because look at where that got people last time. Don’t go to the end because you could end up corrupted just like *they* did, and they don’t want that to happen again.

-> Part of me would also say, maybe not within this season, but also season 3 - with the end, that this could also be used in reference to the Worldport and how it’s decaying and how that’s where Quixis is and everything that happens every time Icarus goes in there.

-> You could also maybe make the argument that it’s about Purgatory and Fable - Don’t go with him, don’t go in there and subject yourself to that because you could become more of a monster than a man - more of a loyal soldier than yourself, more of a guard dog than a person. Don’t go down that hole, turn those lights off, because who knows what will happen. (Don’t side with him because you’ll become the monster you’ve always feared becoming - you’ll become the person you’ve never wanted to become.)

-> [The Devil You Know]

-> That whole idea of Icarus not remembering - but also *wanting* not to remember. Icarus has seen the way people react to them, they don't want to remember that person. Sure, right now they're not the *most* amazing person, but they can tell that they were so so much worse before - and they don't want to remember that. It's better to *just* remember the devil they are now, the person they've become, than the person - devil - they were before.

-> [What Did I Do?]

-> Very much season 2 Icarus runaway arc. Just that whole lead up if it - that idea of them wondering what they've done for months and months, and their proposal of an *arena*, and the fallout, the way they ran. That whole idea of them not knowing what they did, what they were, who they were; that whole idea of them wondering what they *did* to be looked at like *that* - what they did to be talked to like that and threatened, what they did to make their family (the only semblance of stability they had even during season 2) so *afraid* of them. (And almost the idea that they were afraid of that - afraid and scared of being viewed in such a way; that idea that this is an active fear that they have.)

-> [It's Not the Same Anymore]

-> Very much Icarus remembering - but less that immediate “*oh fuck yeah I remember!*” and more that “oh. fuck. I *remember.*” Just that whole idea of now that they remember, nothing back home, nothing within town, is going to be the same. None of it will have the same connotations to it, and none of their relationships with people will be the same - because now Icarus *knows* and now they're going to be far, *far* more cautious with their words and actions. It's not the same - and oh how they remember just how fucking *miserable* they were. Additionally, that kind of whole idea of how they should be happy, they should be happy now that they've remembered everything - they *know* now; but really, in the long term, remembering everything just makes it so so much harder to navigate *everything.* (The vibe the end of the song really gives is after all of the Prison Arc Part 2, Icarus trying to make up and make their relationships and friendships and *everything* better - fix them up and pick up broken pieces.)

-> [Could've Been Me]

-> Remembering but we're happy this time! Don't think about all of the consequences and bad feelings and *everything* that comes with remembering you're a horrible person - only focus on the fact you remembered and can now go home and definitely totally be incredibly happy with your family again! All jokes aside, that's very much the vibe this song has. Just that whole idea of Icarus being incredibly happy that they've remembered everything - that they can go *home* finally, they don't have to stay out in the middle of nowhere alone because they're terrified of hurting people. Also that whole idea of everything they want to do now that they remember and know where the line is - know what they can say that won't tow too far over a line and/or trigger someone.

-> [Brutus]

-> Oh to be Icarus Morningstar upon opening their door, post remembering, and seeing David Centross Mistvale. Just that whole anger and upset Icarus holds for Centross after they remember. That anger at what he did, at what he didn't do, at what he said and told them, the anger at what he *left them with* - and the anger that *he* got to talk to Enderian. He got to hear her and listen to her and know her, and Icarus didn't. He was her favorite, and *gods* how that made Icarus so very angry. And the whole idea of how that anger carries over - how Icarus so desperately wanted what Centross had, and didn't get it, and now that they remember they want to *make* it known just how angry they are. (And that whole idea and action of putting him in the prison.)

-> [Absinthe]

-> Very similar to Brutus - that just *anger* at Centross for all of this. That anger at everything he did and everything he said and everything about the endstone reset. And also that way they *don't* believe that front he's put him since the beginning of the reset - don't believe the “good guy” front he's tried to keep up since appearing this reset.

-> [The Main Character]

-> The whole idea that they can do this - do what they're doing to Centross, and *keep doing it* because there are worse people than them out there - there are so so much worse people than them out there, so they can do this, because, well, they’re better; they’re not bad bad like a lot of people. The idea that this is okay because of everything else.

-> [You're Not Welcome]

-> Just all of that angry Icarus holds for Centross bubbling over - this *is* the act of putting him in the prison. That need to make it known he's *not* welcome - the idea they try to convince both themself and him of that no one would care if he just disappeared. And, well. Welcome to the first of like four more detailed line by line analysis cause i'm a loser.

“Don't you know you're not welcome ‘round here?” Just that whole idea of Icarus being willing to lock him away because they fully believe, what to believe, want *him* to believe that he's not welcome - he's not welcome and therefore that makes their following actions “okay.”

“I think you should go ‘fore you cause some drama.” Almost that idea that he needs to leave - he shouldn't be here. That whole idea that he should leave before *they* do something. That whole idea that if he stays, regardless of if he does something, they’re going to *hurt him.*

“Don't you know I'm the one you should fear?” They *want* him to be afraid of them - want him fear them so they *finally* have that upper hand on him. (Want him to be afraid of them like they were afraid of him after they got out of the prison - want him to know that fear, want them to be able to get their revenge.)

“Talk to me if you've got a problem.” That whole idea that Icarus wants to be the one to deal with him - that whole thing of no one else dealing with Centross the way *Icarus* thinks he should be dealt with.

“I can't believe you used to truly scare me.” Because he *did* genuinely scare them - after they were uncorrupted they were genuinely and truly scared of him. However, like this, with the offer that Icarus can stab him, with the way he just lets himself get put into the prison, he's really not that scary. They can't believe he used to genuinely scare them when he's just. almost pitiful like this - in the prison.

“You were like a ghost story told to keep me weary. But I never listened, no, I slept good ‘til morning.” Arguably *he* was the one telling them the ‘ghost stories’ - the warnings he'd tell them, the arguments they'd get into. The way Icarus never heeded them, only pushing further and further until they tipped him (or themself) over the edge. The way Icarus would just sleep it off - because that's what they always did.

“And when our paths finally crossed, I didn't heed the warning.” Similar to that last line - Icarus didn't heed any warning. Icarus just kept pushing and pushing and pushing, arguing with Centross over and over and *over* again.

“Then push, push, push, push. Yeah, you pushed me to the edge.” Haley. Arguably, Centross was part of the reason Icarus killed her in the first place. That need to prove themself not only to Enderian, but also to Centross. That need to prove they weren't useless (weren't a *failure*), that they could be of use to Ominous Bane and weren't just *there* - that they could *do something.*

“I used to dread the thought of falling quickly” Something something resets something something. While they don't remember them or know about them at this point in time, just that whole idea of falling like that. Also, arguably, that whole idea of falling into an ideal and thought process - that idea they don't like to do that quickly, they don't like falling down a thought rabbit hole without thinking and considering it properly first. (Even though they do that so incredibly often.)

“But now I just wish that you'd send me off that ledge - So I can finally fucking take you with me” But also that whole idea that if it meant Centross was going down with them? if them falling down a thought rabbit hole, if them falling and doing something terrible, meant Centross would go down with them? If him pushing them to that point meant they'd go down *together* - two birds, one stone and all - and no one could be hurt by him again? Oh Icarus would gladly fall down. They'd gladly let themself if it meant they could kill or hurt or do *something* to him that meant they were going down together.

-> [Blood // Water]

-> Just that whole idea of Icarus being so very angry at Centross for all of this. That whole idea of there literally being blood in the water - he tried to kill all of them, and he *did* kill hundreds more. That whole idea that Icarus doesn't plan on letting him go *any* time soon - they want him so desperately to know just how what he did made them feel. (Also “you poisoned me just for another dollar in your pocket” that whole idea that he let Icarus dig themself into this hole, he argued and argued and *argued* and pushed and poisoned their mind with thoughts and words that *stuck.*)

-> [Lonely]

-> They hate each other, yes. However, What if they held hands about it? Maybe even kissed about it. Just like. That whole idea of of how during the season 2 prison arc they were really each other's *only* company. They were alone, but alone together. Yeah they hated each other - but they still *had* each other. That whole idea Icarus was *alone* - but they still had someone, regardless of how much they hated each other. (Also “Hey love, Have mercy on me, and keep me company” is very Centross to Icarus. Just that idea of wanting mercy, wanting Icarus to *stop* hurting him - but also still wanting that company because they were *alone.*)

-> [GONER]

-> They definitely still hate each other - like absolutely still hate each other. Like they are arguing and fighting and snapping at each other every fucking opportunity they get the longer Centross is in the prison - especially more towards the end, Centross is being just as snippy and antagonistic towards Icarus as they're being to him. That whole idea of Centross snipping at them - that idea of “at least he fights back when he's imprisoned.” However, arguably, they also probably kissed about it. They hate each other - but like, sometimes you have to acknowledge the other person is definitely a little kiss-able. (“You look so damn appetizing” like. *like.* so many of these lines imply they at the very *very* least kissed about it.)

-> [Forgive Me Chester]

-> Very end of season 2/the season 2 reset. Really that whole idea of seeing the 3 people you've spent your life chasing after all at once, all in the same room, all together. That idea of fighting the Warden, that whole idea of trying to get Fable out, that whole idea of trying to finally chase the bad away - chase the resets and the Warden and the anger and the bad and *all of it.*

-> Verse one is very much talking about Haley; Verse two is about Centross (prison duo the beloved); Verse three is about Rae, something about broters and their relationship being good for that bit at the end there.

-> [Rock in a God's Shoe]

-> Just that general demeanor of late season 2 - trying to figure out if Fable getting out would *actually* help (even if Icarus really really wants him back), and that whole idea of trying to figure out if he will actually be on their side or not. That worry after everything that happened with Perix that maybe he isn't. Also that idea of Fable not giving that much information, and them all trying their absolute *hardest* to figure out how to get him out. (Also that bit at the end is Icarus to Midas coded, especially with the glitchy voice, and in this essay I will-)

-> [Moonsickness]

-> Very much the season 2 reset. The annoyance at Fable, that annoyance and *anger* at Quixis. That very demeanor they have toward Quixis at the end - being done with them and being annoyed at them; them seeing themself as a failure because of *course* they fucked up the thing that was supposed to help them. They can't do anything right ever - they fuck up *everything* they touch. Also, hot take, Midas talking to Icarus and Fable (and almost the grove in general? but I feel like *mostly* Fable). and, well, I have thoughts about some of these lines, so take this silly more specific analysis. (Not *every* line, just some I picked. Because if i picked all the lines we’d be here forever.)

“Everybody knows this place is dying, as am I.” Something about Midas dying as the Worldport does - decaying and falling with their realm. Something about the season 2 reset showing the world *literally* dying, falling apart, crumbling and everyone *knowing* it.

“I might not get another chance.” Midas switching Haley and Fable - they *knew* they probably weren't going to get another chance to try and stop Fable like that. As well as the whole idea of the grove only having one chance to open the portal - they, Icarus especially as the one who *put* Perix's soul in the frame, fully thought this was their *only* opportunity to get Fable out. Obviously this is proven wrong in season 3 - but they didn't *know that.*

“I am such a fuckup, if you only knew that I am such a fuck up.” Something about Icarus seeing themself as a failure - a fuckup. They couldn't even get their father out correctly, why can't everyone just see how much of a failure they are? Why can't everyone see how much they ruin everything they touch? (And, arguably, Midas as well. That whole idea of them failing in their duties to bring Icarus when they were supposed to, leading to so so *so* many worlds decaying.)

“And I am the worst mistake that God has ever made.” Sort of that same idea as the last one - that idea of Icarus seeing themself as a failure. Only this time it's more related to their Dad than themself. He made them, they're *his* child - therefore, if they see themself *that* badly, they're the worst mistake he's ever made. They're a terrible fucking person and they're a *failure.*

“But I make lemons out of lemonade.” Wack wack wack wack. This line is so very about the wack. Something about changing things from one thing to another in a way that *shouldn't be possible.*

“In your guts you know it's all destroyed.” Okay, Midas to Fable. Something about Fable knowing that this world is dying - something about how Fable would *know* the outcome of doing all of this. He would know that Rae would figure it out one day, the cause of the resets, and it wouldn't go *well* - that his relationship with one or both of his sons would be destroyed. (Also, mayhaps, Midas to Icarus - that whole idea that the world is destroyed and their chance at getting Fable out (at least this time) is *also* destroyed.)

“None of us belong, Everything I do is wrong.” Something about everyone being pulled into the resets from different time periods, being shifted and tugged and placed into the present but not quite *belonging* there. Something about how Icarus tries their very hardest to be *good* - but so much of what they do ends up being wrong on so many levels. (But it's all they know.) Something about how Midas tries their very best to fix and fix and *fix* and they can't really - it almost always ends up *wrong.*

“And in your blood you know what's right.” Midas to Icarus - that whole idea that Icarus has Fable's blood running through their veins, that they believe that he is *right.* Even if in the moment they don't know him well, don't remember him well, they still subconsciously think what they're doing that mirrors Fable's own actions is *right.*

Could also be Midas to Fable? That might be a slippery slope to climb and explain though.

“And in your bones you know what's wrong.” Midas to Icarus - something about Icarus so often knowing, but not *acknowledging*, that what they're doing is wrong. Icarus *knows* it's wrong, deep in their bones, they really really do. (But rarely do they acknowledge that.)

Could *also* be Midas to Fable for similar reasons.

“And in your throat you know you're lying to kids” Midas to Fable - While they're not *literally* kids and children still, they are *his* kids - and he's lying to them. Fable is lying to his kids and he *knows* it, not that he'll acknowledge that ever.

“And you know nobody belongs in this hell.” Midas to Fable - Something about Fable *knowing* none of them belong in this hell of resets and everything; that he should probably just let life run its course, let it go as it *should* - but he doesn't. And he's dooming them to this hell none of them belong in. (And he knows they don't.)

“I am God's worst Mistake” Just. Icarus. Once again just that whole idea that they just think of themself as a *failure* - especially after the portal glitches. They can't keep doing this - at some point they're just. A mistake. (Arguably, could also be seen directed more at Quixis as well - the way Quixis made them like this with the eye and all.)

“And you seem happy on the knife's edge, but I just lick the blade.” Midas to Fable - That idea that Fable kind of hovers on the knife's edge, but never tips over it. He tows a line, about to tetter over. The way Midas will *gladly* tip over that line - lick the blade, on this case - they'll go down, tetter over that edge, but they sure as fuck won't do it quietly or unnoticeable.

“And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made.” Arguably, Midas to Icarus. Fable is the reason they couldn't get to Icarus - Fable is the reason they're *like this.* And, *arguably,* Fable is kind of sort of Icarus’ God. Also just that whole idea that Fable is the reason for *so much* between Midas and Fable. And now Midas is *angry.* Mistake in this case isn't a bad thing - mistake in this case is more “Midas is about to make their anger *very* much Fable's problem - and it's his fault.”

“Invisible hand savior, fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death.” Midas to Fable - Fable is, in this case, the invisible hand. He saves Icarus every *single* reset - he *is* the savior, and he's fucking up definitions *every* time he does it. Even though it's life or death, even though Icarus absolutely *should* die, they should be dead, they're not. He's literally fucking up definitions everytime he rips a page out or edits or does *anything* to As It Is.

“Don't you think it matters when we wish our friends the best.” Midas to Fable - again. Something about Fable wishing Rae and Co good luck on figuring out what the resets were being caused by - when *he* was the one causing them. It *should* matter that he wished them luck, but it really doesn't considering he *knew.*

“Because of all this bullshit I'm not anything at all.” Midas in general really - something about how they're just trying to fix everything now, but they're not really a person anymore. They're alone and they're almost a god and they're *angry.*

“There's nothing to believe in and there won't be ‘till we fall” Okay this line goes *far* deeper into the finale and things than it should. This is Midas talking to Fable but for once they're not being an *asshole* - they're lumping themself in with him. Something about Fable dying at the end of Fable, and Midas passing their torch (metaphorically falling/dying), and the way it leaves room for new gods - new gods people will actually *like* and believe in and won't cause harm and and and. Something about Midas knowing that until both of them are gone, no one is going to properly believe for a *while.*

“I can't get the numbers right - I can't fucking count because not one goddamn thing is in it's place.” Midas to Icarus *or* Vice versa (Icarus to Midas). Something about the wack changing and altering so so *so* much neither of them are really them anymore. Nothing is like it should be, and it hasn't been for a while. The Worldport is decaying, soon Midas will be too. Icarus isn't themself - they haven't been in a *while.* The eye isn't theirs (not that they *know* that), all of the purple isn't theirs, some of their members *aren't theirs.* Nothing is in it's place and that's *really* fucking shit up.

“You fuckers know it's all built on lies” Midas to *both* Icarus and Fable. Just that whole idea of how Fable manipulates and abuses in the way he does; twisting words and fabricating truths, lies laid with the grounds of a truth, but built on things objectively very false. And in Icarus’ case - their entire life and personality is a lie. They act so very differently alone than they do around others, it's all a front. Everything they've built to this point, and *so much* of what they'll build as season 3 starts is built on lies and half truths. (And that whole idea that Midas is *angry* at them.)

“But the beast refuses to die, and so I guess well neither can I.” This line *arguably* also leans very heavily into finale territory - mostly with things we know after the fact though. Just that whole idea that Fable can't die, he refuses to - as long as he's immortal he *can't.* And if Fable is alive, and actively keeping Midas from Icarus - then Midas can't pass the torch, Midas can't *die.* Something about how Midas fully thought they were going to die upon passing the torch to Icarus. If Fable refuses to die, meaning they can't reach Icarus, then Midas *can't* die. (Because what happens then? The Worldport is left without an overseer and wack gets hundreds of times worse? *No* that can't happen. So they power through it to let Icarus see the end.)

[Section Five - You died. Deal with the consequences, Icarus. (Season 3)]

-> [Is There Anybody Here?]

-> The season 3 break my beloved honestly. That's this song in a very very loose nutshell. The season 3 break - both their time in the Worldport as well as their time here. Just that whole idea of trying to find Quixis - and then trying to find *something* that they know and can hold onto. That idea of looking for something, anything, anyone that can help them because they *don't know where they are.* That idea that they're trying to find their way back home, and are struggling because they don't know how.

-> [Maybe Man]

-> Very much that whole mentality Icarus has early season 3. That idea that they *don't* know how they are, not anymore. They're just kind of. Floating. Also that whole idea of trying to figure out who the fuck they even want to be in the first place. They don't really have a direction - they just want to be *something.* (Something that will please people, make them smile whenever Icarus passes by because they're doing *good.*)

-> [Chasing You]

-> That whole idea of how Icarus has spent the past *year* trying to bring Haley back, trying to figure out how to see her and fix their mistake - and that whole idea that now that she's back, now that Midas brought her back, Icarus doesn't know what to do. Icarus doesn't know how to act around her, what they can and cannot and should and should not say/voice, what is too far over a line and what isn't. They're really just left floating not knowing what in the *world* they should do about it.

-> [The Garden]

-> The whole idea of Icarus getting so done with and so incredibly over Quixis and the wack and the changes and *us.* The whole idea of wanting to dig them up and out and remove them completely, no matter the consequence, no matter where it would get them in the end. The whole idea of how Midas knows their name - and we have to figure it out - and the way they don’t, and the way, more often than not, we as chat snark at them and are very passive aggressive sometimes, rather than being helpful - and how they don’t like that.

-> [New Eyes]

-> Two samples Two samples Two samples. Just, Icarus about the eyes in general. The finding put that the purple eye's blood *isn't theirs*, and the following realization that if the blood isn't theirs, then the eye itself isn't theirs either. That want and that need for people - Midas - to stop changing them, to give them *their* eye back - so they can see with new ones; so they can see with the eyes that were always *supposed* to be theirs. (Also just the general idea of needing to see things through a new lens, see things better, because they're suffering and hurting and *no one* seems to see it, and how one day that fact might kill them. (And well, it does, doesn't it?))

-> Sage and their ability to be so normal got this one on the playlist. We win these.

-> [The Tornado]

-> So very Unlocked - this *is* the Unlocked song. That whole idea of them being used to the wack, being almost surprised as it just *kept getting worse*, *the wings,* the running to the bunker and the *yelling* at Midas, Fable finding them, and - arguably - the aftermath of the wings and those few streams following Unlocked where they were just trying to heal and fix and *clean* up the path they had made. (Okay yes Quixis ascension, yes, but we’re not at that part in the playlist yet - so.) And, well. Some more detailed line analysis because I’m a loser.

“It was just startin' to drizzle as I walked out the door, But I've delivered papers in the rain like that before.” Just that whole idea that the wack being weird - being worse, changing their house more than normal, changing *them* and their clothes more than normal - was okay, in their mind. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s done this before, and everything was fine for both them and others - why worry about it this time?

“3:30 in the morning, I was happy as a lark.” That idea that Icarus was so very happy to get Fable out. They were so happy and excited, because this was what they had been working to for months and years and *resets* and they had finally been able to do it. They might’ve been a little worried, but they were mostly *happy.*

“The wind was pickin' up and howlin' louder all the time.” The redstone beginning as they were all standing in front of the now open portal - the way they weren’t expecting it, the way it just kept picking up and getting *worse* no matter what they did to stop it.

“The sky churned like a cauldron and the distant thunder roared, And I knew that I was in for quite a storm.” The redstone picking up, but also the fact Fable hadn’t come out yet - and they had been waiting and waiting for the others to get him for *minutes* now and it was beginning to worry everyone outside of the portal; that idea that they *knew* something might be up - with Fable or the wack.

“A little rain never hurt no one, so I kept pressin' on.” Up to this point, the wack hadn’t hurt *anyone* - well, with the exception of Icarus themself. Sure it had hurt and changed and wacked animals and blocks and all that - but never Icarus’ friends and family. It hurt them time and time again - but they were fine after all of it (for the most part - with the exception of the many breakdowns and *the eye*), why should they worry about others getting hurt? It had never *severely* hurt them like that; so they kept going and standing there and letting it get worse upon that assumption that it *wouldn’t do that.*

“And I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn.” Just that way they were so desperately trying to convince themself that it was all okay - that the group in Purgatory *will* bring Fable out and it’ll be okay. The wack will be fine and it’ll stop and it’s just a small little bad thing before they get Fable back - that desperate way they try to convince themself it’ll be okay.

“Lightning struck an oak tree as I leapt off my bike.” The way the redstone, the *bad* just keeps getting worse and worse as time goes on. Regardless of what they do it gets worse and they can’t seem to *stop it.*

“The sirens started wailing, but there was no good place to hide.” That whole idea that Icarus really, really, *really* wanted to run - they wanted their dad and they wanted the wack to *stop* because it just kept getting worse and they really, really wanted to just run. But they knew they column’t because running would make things so so much worse - so they don’t run, they just stand there and let it keep getting *worse.*

“I knew without a doubt there was a twister touchin' down.” That idea that they *knew* it was only going to get worse and worse the longer they stood there, without a doubt, but there wasn’t anything they could *do about it* - they just had to power through whatever happens, like they always do.

“The little bit of courage I had left was almost gone.” Something about how at the beginning of Unlocked they were mostly okay - that had *some* bits of courage - but the longer no one came out of the portal and the longer all the redstone did was get bigger, and the longer they just *stood there* the more that courage just. faded.

“And then the nightmare started, it got deafeningly loud.” Momboo. The redstone getting bigger and the wack *hurting her* (hurting someone other than Icarus, for once) and the way they almost *immediately* panicked and ran (or, at least tried to) off. And then like the following moments of running and running and trying to fly and then their wings *shattering.*

“Every fiber in me screamed out, but I couldn't make a sound.” Something about how they screamed as their wings broke, but about how their panic after the fact was so very quiet. They weren't screaming - they were just hurt and in pain and weren't going well but were trying so desperately to keep it under wraps. They refused to let themself break at *any* point during the run to the bunker, refused to let themself fall apart like that. They wouldn't - they *couldn't.*

“It sounded like a freight train was draggin' me to hell.” Something about the particular way the the wings sounded when they shattered - so *loud* and overwhelming as they crystalized and as Icarus *fell.* Even louder as they shattered against their own weight and Icarus’ back. They dragged Icarus *down.* (Metaphorically dragging Icarus to hell, I suppose.)

“And this was my prayer, "Save me from this terrible nightmare"” *Icarus yelling at Midas.* This line is os Icarus yelling at Midas, both on their way and inside of the bunker. They just wanted Quixis to *stop*, to know why they just kept *doing all of this* to Icarus and their friends. -They just wanted Quixis to stop, and they just wanted someone to be there for them and save them because *gods* they hurt so very badly.

“That was when I saw my family with my eyes shut real tight.” Fable showing up at the bottom of the bunker - they literally see their family. Also something about how they just wanted this to stop - their eyes shut and the denial of the past delays creeping back up on them.

“Would they know how much I loved them if this was how I died?” *Would they?* How many times does Icarus tell their family they love them? (How many times do people tell *them* that?) Would their family know just how much Icarus loved and cared about them if Icarus died - if they died like *this* with no one around?

“No, I vowed I'd not be murdered by a monster in the sky that night.” If you think about it - this injury could’ve killed them. It didn’t - and they definitely didn't want them to - but it *could’ve.* But they wanted to so desperately survive and live and *not* let Midas’ actions get the better of them - they vowed it wouldn’t happen.

“But if I went home to heaven, at least that's where I'd belong.” Midas’ would’ve pulled them before they died (just like they did in the finale) if the injury *did* kill them - they would’ve been where they belong because they were meant to become Quixis *decades* ago; that, the worldport, Quixis, was supposed to be their home for years yet it *wasn’t* - it's where they belong but, at this moment, they’re not there.

“There was nothin' but destruction and wreckage in that town.” The mess the path and wack made; the redstone in front of the portal; *the tree.* (Their wings.) It was all a mess and destroyed and, for at least some of that - there was no fixing it. It was just destroyed and they just had to deal with that.

“And that was how I learned to live when you can run, but you can't hide.” They could run from hurting Momboo, and they could run from the wack, and they could run from their wings breaking - but they can’t *hide from it.* They have to deal with the consequences of their actions, they can’t hide from it. They have to see the tree - see their mistakes, see their bad - nearly everyday. They can run from it, sure, but they can’t *hide.*

“How to feel trapped in a tunnel but come out the other side.” They’re trapped and grounded and alone (somewhat - Fable is doing his whole “isolate his kid so they lose attachments” thing) but they come out of it, eventually. They get their wings back, they can fly again - they may have felt trapped for a time but they *made it out.*

“'Cause with all the stormy weather in the world, you learn to take life one storm at a time.” Pulling out the character analysis card - Icarus gets very focused on *one* (big) thing very easily. Their wings, they wanted to fix those - spent weeks trying to get better; Enderian talking to Rae - they were so incredibly stuck on that until they made up; And, the more obvious one from season 3 - Centross. It was a 5 month long storm - but it’s all they focused on. They take their life, especially during season 3, one big problem and thing at a time - focus on *it* and nothing else. (Because focusing on other things means acknowledging just how much you’re hurting, and they can’t do that.) And I mean, it gets Icarus through. They make it to the end going like that. It’s not healthy - but they *make it.*

“I keep hangin' on.” No matter what happens, no matter how close to death they get and no matter how much death would probably be kinder at a point, Icarus is still there. They keep hanging on - keep living and keep just, going through the motions.

-> [Birds]

-> Just that whole idea of how after Unlocked (and arguably also *during* Unlocked) Icarus just wanted to *relax.* They were done and hurting and upset and they just really, really wanted to sit, alone, with the flock. They just want to be calm and relax and not have to think about any of what just happened.

-> [Look Who's Inside Again]

-> Unlocked. Probably Midas to Icarus? Or just someone outside looking in at Icarus in the moment after their wings break. This song specifically being more about Icarus’ desperation to get to their bunker - and their feelings while inside of it. How this is just like the prison - putting themself into a box, a prison, a *room*, to keep people safe. To keep them from hurting people. They're back here again - trapped in a box with no way of getting out until someone comes to get them, yelling at the person who (for all intents and purposes) put them there. They're back here again, *inside* again.

-> The whole idea of Fable, after he gets out, beginning to isolate and cage Icarus - with the guise of keeping them safe. He’s removing them from their friends and family and leaving *him* as the only person Icarus can safely - at least in their mind - rely on.

-> I have further words about Fable and Icarus in regards to this song, and that’s really tying into the “again” aspect of this. Viewing this through the lens that this is Fable isolating Icarus, and the visions of a child shown throughout this song, then it’s not terribly hard to come to the idea that this probably isn’t the first time Fable did this - isolate and cage and manipulate - Icarus. That whole idea that his manipulation and abuse has been going on for much longer than we see on screen - this isn’t a new thing. He did this before and he’s doing it again and Icarus just has to deal with that. (Even if they don’t *know* he did this when they were a child. They don’t remember any of that aspect of themself.)

-> [Let Me Make You Proud]

-> That whole idea that yes, Icarus has failed and made mistakes and disappointed Fable - probably time and time and *time* again - but that they really, really, *really* want to make it up to him. They want to make him proud because they feel so much like a failure after everything that keeps happening - they want to make all their mistakes and missteps up to him. They want to make it up to him and they keep trying and trying and *trying* to do that. (And, arguably, failing at it rather often.)

-> [the fruits]

-> The whole idea of how Icarus wants so desperately to help Fable and all he’s doing, but the idea of how Fable can’t see that they’re not entirely them - can’t see just how much they can keep falling and repeating history and just how badly they’re doing. The whole idea that they can’t help him - they can be the person he wants them to be and the person he’s trying to make them into because they’re not entirely themself in the whole sense of them; they can’t be that if they’re not entirely themself - they can’t help him like he wants them to, and how they spiral because of that.

-> [Loser Baby]

-> Centross and Icarus. Kind of to each other. This song is. So *incredibly* drinking stream coded. Just. That realization of just how similar the two of them are, just how much they have in common, just how much they're both going through the same shitty situation. That realization that they can *rely* on eachother. The realization of how they're so so *incredibly* similar - especially in regards to Enderian and Fable - and how they're both losers, they're both having a bad bad time, but they can do it together. (Which, arguably, they’ve known for a while - but it becomes a lot clearer in the drinking stream; especially with Icarus calling Centross their best friend.)

-> [Down the River]

-> *Breaking Bonds* - This song is very Athena to Icarus. The whole idea that Icarus likes to run and hide and leave the past and everything they’ve done behind and not acknowledge it whatsoever - How they can’t do that; How even if Icarus wants to forget and leave and run, others aren’t going to do that for them - Others are still going to remember all of this and all they’ve done, and what happens to them, the grove, once Icarus leaves and decides to ignore it. What happens then? What happens to all those people you’ve hurt?

-> [Hero]

-> Centross’ death. That way Icarus just spends that immediate moment after him fading just trying to convince themself it's *okay.* They're okay and he's okay and he'll be *back* and it's okay. Them just trying to convince themself it's alright and trying so so desperately to comfort themself in this hell. Arguably, also almost their anger at Fable for killing their best friend - that immediate sharp anger and bared teeth (“I'm the hero of the story, don't need to be saved.” Just that whole idea that Centross saved them - but he shouldn't have had to. They were the *hero* of this story, no one should have to save them - and no one should have to *die* doing that if they even tried. Icarus’ whole thing is trying to save themself, figure out ways they can fix it *themself.* No one should have to die because Icarus couldn’t do that. They’re a prince, they’re supposed to be alone. People shouldn’t have to die because they weren’t.)

-> [Can't Catch Me Now]

-> Centross almost like. Taunting Fable and trying to comfort Icarus. How he's always going to be there for Icarus, he's always watching over them, even if he can't tell them and show them that physically, he is *there.* But also almost taunting Fable in regards to the fact that Fable can't catch him now; Fable will not find him no matter what he tries and attempts, he will see Centross everywhere, be reminded of him just like Icarus is, and he *will not* find him - and won't be able to bring him back.

-> [Do What You Gotta Do]

-> This that short bit after Fable kills Centross where Icarus just *yells* at Fable. That snark, that anger that Fable *did that* - and Fable's argument that he “did what he had to”, and that was *necessary*; Fable did this (killed Centross) because he had too, Icarus should hear him out. Just that whole conversation between Icarus and Fable after he kills Centross, and that whole falling out between the two of them, and that whole slow manipulation from Fable's end as the conversation continued. (Also Fable's whole “being a god” thing-)

-> [The Cave]

-> Centross to Icarus after the cathedral. How he *will* be there for them, no matter what, but also how he has other duties to attend to - but also also how he can't stick around due to the fact that Fable is currently killing every God in his sight, taking every power for himself. How Centross *wants* Icarus to know he's there for them, but also how he can't physically be there. He'll try his *hardest* to keep them alive - try his hardest to keep them going until the end.

-> [Paid in Exposure]

-> Very much Coworkers - just that whole idea of doing only what they're told and becoming, a, a coworker, and b, one of the bad guys - or the people on the stereotypically “bad” side.

-> [Natural]

-> *Also* Coworkers. That whole idea that for them to be on this side of this war they have to be assholes - they have to be cold and sharp and not care, and the whole idea that they're *good at it.* The idea that all three of them are good at that - they're almost naturals at it. They don't have to practice because they can settle into that role far, far too easily. (Also “Rather be the hunter than the prey” is incredibly Coworkers - because they all know that Fable is hunting gods and hunting people down, and they'd rather be beside him as he does that than cowering beneath his sword.)

-> [Burning Pile]

-> Just like the whole idea of wanting to put all your problems in a big pile and just light them up and on fire - kill them, get rid of them, ignore them. That whole idea of wanting to get rid of all your current problems, all the shitty stuff you’ve gone through, get rid of it all and never properly look back - you’ve burnt it, it’s gone, you don’t have to think about it anymore. (Or, that’s the dream at least. Not really what ends up happening in the end.)

-> [Can't Go Back]

-> Just that whole idea that Icarus should forgive themself - how most of this isn't really *their* fault, and how they should be learning to forgive themself for that - not blame themself for stuff that isn't their fault. (Also the whole idea that none of this is *fair* - it's not fair to them and nor fair for Fable and not fair to *anyone* in the grove.)

-> This definitely feels like Violet trying his absolute hardest to comfort Icarus the best he can even though he can’t physically be there with them in the moment (and he won’t be able to be for a while. (And even when he was able to be there for him, at the end, it wasn’t for very long.)

-> [Try To Change]

-> How Icarus just keeps trying to change, change and change and change, they're trying so incredibly hard, and it just keeps failing. The whole idea that they can’t find it in themself to change - there's safety in it, they’ve always been like this, why wouldn’t they just keep going and being like this. Why would they try - there is *no* point to it. They’re safe like this, Dad likes them like this, why would they change into something he wouldn’t?

-> [Let Us All Down]

-> Just that whole idea of how the Grove feels about Icarus working with Fable. Arguably, they all thought Icarus could be good - they gave Icarus so so *so* many chances, they didn't think that they'd go this route. They didn't think they'd be involved in Centross’ death like this and this didn't think and and and. (Also, arguably, Icarus spiraling. Just *thinking* about what people would say, what people would think, what they would *feel*, how they would react.)

-> Arguably kinda sorta maybe Two Shall Break/Two Shall Mourn for the priorly explained reasons.

-> [Lima Bean Man]

-> Icarus about Momboo. Icarus so *desperately* wants Momboo to not be dead, so desperately wants to be able to bring her back. Not necessarily telling themself she *isn't* dead, but that she *can't* be - because that means they killed another person, that means they did it *again.*

-> [Shots]

-> Icarus to. Everyone basically. They're so so *sorry* - they're breaking down crying near everyday by this point, and they just keep *killing people.* (“why do I kill everything that I love?”) and they're so so *sorry.* But also that they need everyone to know they're *in too deep* - People aren't going to be able to save them now, not through normal means. It's not going to happen - they need to let Icarus drift away because if they *don't*? More people will only get hurt.

-> While I won’t elaborate on this statement, as it speaks for itself, your friendly reminder that Icarus did not truly hate their father when they killed him - Icarus still held some sort of semblance of love for him, even at the end, even after everything, even as they stabbed that trident into his chest as he revealed he was never going to bring Centross back.

-> [Prodigal]

-> That whole idea that where Icarus is right now is all their own fault. They caused it, it's their fault, and there's nothing they can really do about it. They're alone, they've dug themself a hole and fallen down it (because that's all they do, really) and they can't get out - and it's their fault. It's all their fault - it always *is* their fault.

-> [Solitary Confinement]

-> They're alone! After Momboo, and after their conversation with Athena, they're *alone* - Confined. And they're. Okay with it, almost. They wanted to push people away, wanted to be alone, because it makes all of this so so much easier. But they *really* wish they didn't have to do it. Didn't have to push people away like that, didn't *have* to do this to everyone and themself. They do it, yes, because in the end it will benefit them to do so, but they really really don't like doing it - they're spiraling. (And really, they have been for months.)

-> a “devious read” by yours truly according to the sherbertquake56

-> [No Longer You]

-> Okay. Now. What I'm about to say *might* sound like. horribly wrong because everyone kind of looks at this and goes “oh the prophet is Haley” and to that I say. Nope. No, the prophet is Midas. This song is *Midas* talking to Icarus about their future - regardless of how this goes. Because Midas would know what would happen after they “Draw their final breath” so to speak - Midas would know. Haley wouldn't. Also, because I'm a little loser, and the fact this song *really* lends itself to this, line by line analysis.

“I see a song of past romance” Perhaps talking about Momboo? This line could be very ambiguous. Cause you could also argue Wet Birds, but I'm not sure that really *fits.* (If you wanted to go the Prison Duo route, you probably could as well.)

“I see the sacrifice of man.” This line being about Centross - Sacrificing himself to save both Icarus, as well as the rest of his family.

“I see portrayals of betrayal,” This line being about Jamie - Betraying the family they *had* for the family they *want.*

“And a brother's final stand.” This is. Just the ‘A Brother's Final Stand’ stream. Rae trying so so *so* hard to save his brother, and failing because they *just* don't *want* (don't think they need, don't think they deserve) help.

“I see you on the brink of death.” Icarus after they kill Fable. Or, really, Icarus throughout the last week-ish; throughout that they're on the brink of death, they're *dying.* (They have been for almost 5 months - but after he dies Icarus is left so much worse off because Fable isn’t around and alive to keep Quixis’ powers at bay.)

“I see you draw your final breath.” Them *jumping* - Them thinking they were going to die. Them being fully fully accepting of it.

“I see a man who gets to make it home alive.” Midas pulling Icarus into the Worldport, *alive* - telling them that they'll be able to go back home eventually.

“But it's no longer you…” But the person Icarus would become after all that time in the Worldport, after leaving it, would be starkly different to the person that entered it - that it wouldn't really be Icarus anymore. It'd be Icarus, of course, but they'd know and have been changed that they wouldn't be the Icarus they *were.*

Just. It really encompasses those last few months of Icarus’ life before becoming Quixis - those last few months of pain and desperation and *bad.*

-> [Monster]

-> The whole idea of how Icarus *will* be the monster if they have to. They'll kill and slaughter and murder and *be* the monster if it means they'll all make to end - if it means they'll get to bring everyone back, *fix* everything.

-> [No Children]

-> This is very much Icarus’ mentality at the end - about Fable and about Rae and about *everyone.* That idea that they don't want to be saved anymore, not like this. That idea that if they have to go down - they're going to take Fable with them. That idea that they just want Rae and *everyone* to give up on them - and, arguably, that idea that if *they* die, they want Fable to come down with them. Uh. Well here's another set of far more detailed line analysis <3 Not the last one either <3

“I hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us.” That whole idea that Icarus doesn’t want to be saved - not like this. They don’t want to and they don't think they’re deserving of it - they fully hope that Rae gives up on trying to save them.

“I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us.” While they didn’t *know* it’d be fail-safe, Jamie. Because by this point there were *very* few people still trying to save and help them - and really, to their knowledge, it was *just* Rae - and to them? To those people *that* was the tipping point. For that last week they were left completely alone because they had *finally* pissed off the people trying to save them.

“I hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight.” Very similarly to that previous line, during Family Reunion - arguably - Rae and Icarus had *kind of* mended their relationship. Icarus didn’t like that - Icarus really hoped that he’d just let it go. They really hoped that the weight of everything would mean their relationship, whatever Rae thought was left of it - at least, would just crumble. That Icarus wouldn’t have to hold on to him and their family anymore because holding onto it means there is *complications* and attachments and they really can't have that - not now.

“And I hope we hang on past the last exit. I hope it's already too late.” That whole idea that Icarus was in too deep - Icarus was going to hold on and stay attached to Fable until the very, very, *very* end. That whole idea that Icarus very much thought, very much hoped, that they were too far gone and it was far, *far* too late to turn back now. (Also that whole idea that

“In my life, I hope I lie. And tell everyone you were a good wife.” Okay, a, that whole idea that Icarus lies about *nearly* everything - they lie about so, so, *so* much that it’s really all they do and hope to do. B, that idea that they so desperately want to see their father as a good person - so desperately want *everyone else* to think he’s a good person; to the point that they *will* lie about it, they hope to, they hope they get the opportunity to lie about it.

“And I hope you die. I hope we both die.” *If he dies they don’t have to do this anymore.* Just that whole idea that if he dies they do not, really and truly, have to continue to do any of this. They can fully and completely leave it behind and *gods* how they really, really want to do that. Also, arguably, that whole idea that they don’t think they’re worth saving, and that whole idea that they think they fuck everything up and ruin it regardless of how much they’re trying. If they both die between now and the end, then when this is all over no one will have to get hurt anymore - their family will be *safe* and sound and they won’t have to stress about themself *or* their family *or* what their father is doing.

“I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow. I hope it bleeds all day long.” That idea that icarus thinks they’re deserving of all the hurt and pain and sorrow sent their way. All this pain and suffering and the way it’s constant - they fully, *fully* think they’re deserving of it; they fully hope it keeps happening solely to prove that point. (This is not the time or place to go on a rant - but I would like to bring up how, after Centross dies, whenever Icarus gets really injured - unless it's dire dire - they refuse to use potions on themself. And even when it *is* dire they’re almost hesitant about it.)

“Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises; we're pretty sure they're all wrong.” Rae thinking he can save Icarus, save them despite everything they’ve done and despite all they’ve been through - and Icarus thinking, *knowing*, he can’t. Regardless of what he says, Icarus knows they’re in too deep and knows that means Rae can’t save them or get through to them very easily.

“I hope the worst isn't over.” Ties back to the line before last - that idea that Icarus thinks they deserve all the pain and suffering they’re going through. It’s their fault, they deserve it, maybe they don’t really like it very much by they do understand where its coming from and they can agree with it because deep down they *know* what they’re doing is so very very wrong.

“I am drowning. There is no sign of land.” They’re falling and falling deeper into this little pit they’ve dug themself and they can’t find a hand hold to even start trying to climb themself out. They are lost and *alone* with no one there to help and they *know it.*

“You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.” That idea that if Icarus goes down - they’ll take, to try to take, Fable with them. That idea that both themself and Fable are seemingly unlovable - at least in Icarus’ eyes - and the two of them would go down hand in hand; it’ll be one of their faults and they’d drag the other down with them (Also, arguably, Icarus and Midas as well - if Icarus goes down they want to drag Midas down with them; if Midas goes down they’ll inevitably *have* to drag Icarus down with them. The two of them are so intertwined that if one goes down they’ll drag the other whether they want to or not.)

-> [Mr. Author]

-> How Icarus really just wants this to all *stop* and finish up - how it's been going on for so long and they don't know how much longer they can keep going like this. How they want to talk to the person who wrote their story like this - talk to the person that keeps *letting them do this*, want to talk to the author ruining their life.

-> [Icarus]

-> Something about Fable realizing, however small, that his actions are hurting Icarus. How Icarus is hurting and dying, and how he can't *fix it* - he's not going to be able to fix it, fix *them*, make them what he wants them to be. He can't save them in the way he wants to - they're *going* to die and gods he won't be able to stop it. Specifically right at the end, Fable's death by his own son's hands.

-> [The Bad Guy]

-> That whole idea that all Icarus wanted to do, really and truly, was *fix* everything - but that's not how it went. They went to bad places to fix things, they became the bad guy. They didn't want to be, of course - not again, not after last time - but that's what *happened.* They became the bad guy, and they're finally finally realizing it. (Only, it's really too late, because they're dying now.)

-> [In My Blood]

-> Just that whole idea that this is how Icarus is always going to be, how this is how Icarus is and there's no changing it - how it's in their blood to do this, to *be like* this - how there's no stopping it, no turning back.

-> [Daniel In The Den]

-> Really just that whole idea of Icarus killing Fable, and the following way they attempt to move on. That way Fable was killed by “the ones you think you love” - Icarus, yes, but really everyone contributed. (And, arguably, almost that bit of anger Icarus harbors toward Fable at the end - that idea he wasn't ever going to fix this; that all this pain and suffering was for *nothing.*)

[Section Six - They're. Kind of God now. Question mark. Maybe. I dunno, Icarixis is. Yeah. They're a guy. That's for sure.]

-> [Ruin]

-> They have a conversation. This is simply Midas and Icarus having a back and forth conversation about mistakes and Quixis and *all of it.* It’s very hard to summarize - so uh. Hi line by line analysis, welcome back-

(ICARUS)

“I will bring you ruin in everything I do.” Something about how no matter what Icraus does and no matter how hard they try - they ruin things. Their family, their house, their friends house, their *life.* They bring the people in their life - including Midas, and including themself - ruin and pain no matter what they do.

“It’s never my intention, but it happens all the same.” Icarus rarely means to hurt their family and friends like that - it’s rarely their intention but it *happens.* They can’t stop it happening, be it because of the wack or because they’re trying to *fix something* or or or. They never mean to hurt people - they don’t *like* hurting people - but it just keeps happening and happening and *happening.*

“It starts with love and comfort, becomes a strength of will.” Arguably, talking about their time in the three resets they remember. It started good and okay and alright and it just slowly became their goal to just *survive* - it became a strength of will to just keep going after every little thing that just kept *happening;* After all the death and harm and suffering they’d experience they had to fight to keep going.

“But all that strength made rubble of the towers we built.” Icarus keeping going like they did broke *so much.* The Worldport, Midas, Themself, *The overworld.* It all fell apart, was all unstable, because of *them* - all of that kept falling apart into rubble because of *them.* (And, arguably, also partially because of Midas.)

“Cause brick by brick, you built us and I’d fill in the cracks.” Midas helped build this world, this *life* for Icarus. They built it brick by brick - keeping Icarus from being Quixis so young gave them *this* - a family, a life, safety. Midas built it, and Icarus made it *theirs.*

“Nothing quite prepares you for when they don’t come back.” Icarus wasn't prepared for when Centross didn't come back - when it wasn't just a fluke. They weren't prepared for being *alone* and by themself for that long and they weren't prepared for him just being. Dead.

“I wish I’d done things different, I wish that I’d been brave.” Something about wishing they'd home about getting Centross back differently - not killing people, not doing any of that. Something about wanting to be braver - be braver to leave Him and side with their brother and the rest of their family and not side with the person who killed Centross and who killed so many people. Something about *wanting that.*

“I wish I’d known these stones were something I could save.” Arguably, something about wishing to have known that they could have saved Midas so much earlier - could've taken up their role *months* (*years*) ago and saved Midas so much pain and bad and suffering.

(MIDAS)

“Our mortar was your laughter.” Something about the funnier aspects of Midas changing things - it kept them together. At least for a little bit. It kept everything okay and alright - the silly-ness of it all. (Obviously that didn’t stick very long.)

“And you hurled curses at the land.” Icarus yelling and ranting and being so *angry* at Midas. That anger that Icarus just let boil simmering over whenever something bad or upsetting or just *annoying* happened.

“We didn’t talk, we made universes - out of bitten lips and broken hands.” Something about how Icarus and MIdas never talked talked - sure they had the book and their comms but they never really properly *talked.* Something about how despite that, they built things through their pain and hurt. They built friendships and lives and all of that - even without talking.

“You said, “I love you less than when it all began.”” When it first started Icraus didn’t think anything of it - wanted to know what was up with it but also wasn’t really *worried.* Icarus, at the beginning, almost thought it slightly funny. They didn’t really care what it did. But as time went on and as Midas lost more and more control and as the wack got worse and worse and as it broke more and more - the less and less Icarus liked it. It lost its novelty once it started hurting people.

“And I said fewer cause I make jokes to show how broken I really am.” Something about Midas communicating very *directly* with the wack and their comm and things as the end came closer and closer - they stopped with the messing around and the jokes and the silly changes they used to do, and they just became serious calls for help on both ends. (And beyond the direct communication - the *interfering* with things that could get Icraus hurt or killed.) Gone are the jokes and the small silly laughable changes, replaced with calls for help and calls for *something* because Midas was dying and so was the Worldport. And something about how the direct communication was a lot more spread apart in comparison to Midas’ jokes.

“And in the wreck of all we burnt, stands our piano like a wound.” Something about how in the wreck of everything Midas has done, and everything Icarus has done - The two of them still stand tall, *alive.* And something about how so does the Worldport - despite all the decay and all the things it's been through, it's still alive and it's still going and it's still holding all the worlds and it's slowly getting fixed and and and.

“I’ll play our song to see if it’s in tune.” Arguably, something about letting Icarus see to the end of their story. Letting the song play rather than stopping it far far too early - letting Icarus live and learn and seeing if they’ll make the correct choice; seeing if the song is in tune.

“And I promise to be patient.” Something about how Midas kept *going* - no matter what happened and no matter how much it seemed like Icarus was too far gone and no matter how much it seemed like Icarus wasn’t going to make the right choice, Midas persisted. They were so patient with them - waiting and waiting and *waiting* until Icarus *did it.*

“And you promise to be kind.” Something something Icarus never really wanted to hurt their family - they just wanted their best friend back something something Midas telling them that they’ll be - *knowing they will be* - a good Quixis something something to be Quixis you need to be kind and considerate and things like that something something

“”We can rest,” you say, “in the pieces of what’s left or what we’ve found.”” Guys we don’t know where Midas is, but we do know they’re *somewhere.* Something about Icarus taking up the mantle of Quixis means Midas *finally* gets a break. Midas finally gets to rest and relax after so long of not being able to and having to constantly be doing something wand watching someone - Midas can just *rest.* (Wherever that may be, we have yet to find out.)

“I wish I’d done things different, oh, I wish I’d made it right” Something about how even if Midas doesn’t regret what they did - doesn’t regret leaving Icarus to live their life, doesn’t regret keeping them from being Quixis - part of them probably wishes they had done it differently. Something about wishing so many people didn’t have to die, or their worlds decay, or or or. Something about wishing they had made it right earlier - so they didn’t have to go through nearly as much pain. (So they didn’t have to go through feeling their body decay and *rot* from the inside out.) Something about wishing that, but not regretting - not truly - how you did it in the first place.

“But we’ll burn a hundred theaters, If it means we get the wallpaper right” Something about how Midas would let the Worldport fall apart, let worlds die, let *themself* die, if it meant Icarus got to see the end of their story - if it meant Icarus got to live the whole of their life that had been written out. They’d let it all die, let so much decay and fall apart until it was even decaying *them,* if it meant Icarus didn’t have to Quixis so young (they were younger than midas), if it meant Icarus got to say goodbye.

“Nothing quite prepared me for when that piano sang again.” While we don’t know exactly what Midas has been up to fo the past 2 months since the finale - I feel like finally getting a break and *centuries* and finally passing on your title and finally being *yourself* (or, mostly yourself) again wouldn’t be something you'd prepare yourself for in years of being alone - something about not being prepared to be able to rest and be yourself again after so long of *not* being able to do those things.

“Tomorrow I’ll do things different.” Maybe a bit more Icarus than it is Midas (Mostly because there’s not much more different Midas can do, not now, not after so much time has passed) - something about knowing what happens when you wait to bring a Quixis and something about vowing to *not* do that and put all of the Sherbs through that for a second time. Something about vowing to be different than the person you look so much alike. (Something about vowing to be different than Fable.)

“Tomorrow I’ll be brave.” This one is Midas - something about finally being brave enough to pass on the title of Quixis to Icarus, finally being able to let it go - give it up. (Even if it was just the end of Icarus’ story - even if it was the only logical time to pull them and pass it on - it was still brave. They had waited *so long.*)

-> [Icarus & Apollo]

-> Something about Midas living vicariously through Icarus. Something about Icarus showing Midas *so much* about life and their world and everything. Something about in turn Midas showing Icarus how to be Quixis, how to do this job *correctly* and not fuck it up like they did. Just that whole idea of ascension.

-> [505]

-> I guess Midas after Icarus ascends. That idea of going back home and not really knowing what awaits you. You have an idea, a concept of what might, and you're fully *prepared* for it. That idea of them *knowing* they have to leave after Icarus takes their place - or something like that.

-> [Show Yourself]

-> Icarus to Midas - How they just want to know what in the *world* Midas wants with them, and wants to do with them. Why Midas is following them, why they're changing the stuff they are, the decay, the eye - just wanting to *know*, but also very promptly ignoring Midas more often than not.

-> [Who You Are]

-> They're supposed to be Quixis!!! This is exactly who and where they're supposed to be!! This song really feels very Midas talking to Icarus - Telling them all of this as encouragement that they're going to do good, and that this is exactly where they're supposed to be, regardless.

-> [The Last Goodbye]

-> Saving the multiverse with another version of you. This is very Midas and Icarus coded - How Midas was willing to go down hand in hand with Icarus if it meant the multiverse surviving; also how Icarus was completely willing to take up the mantle of Quixis, even if it meant the people back home couldn't remember them.

-> Something about how they both think they're gonna die, Icarus and Midas - something about it.

-> [still feel.]

-> Dying over and over again, being reset over and over and *over* again, and yet. They still feel alive. Fable pulled them from the grave more times than they can count, and they still feel *alive* despite all that's happened.

-> Quixis is where they're supposed to be, Despite *jumping* they're still here, and they're still alive, and they're still *living.*

-> [Back To Black]

-> Oh so very wet birds. Something about them genuinely only saying goodbye with words - they didn't hug, didn't touch, no. Only words. Something about Ven going back to when he got pulled out, going back to Fable and all of the consequences that come with it. That whole idea Icarus isn't going to go back like that - they're going to go back to the present day and they're *going* to remember him.

-> [Spring and a Storm]

-> This one feels just very general epilogue/post finale times to me. Just everyone off doing their own thing, having fun and being happy. Reminiscing about the past *sure*, but having fun and being good all the same. (If you wanna look at it through an Icarus *specific* lens, for some added angst - Icarus watching their family and friends grow and be happy and gain things they couldn't gain before, while they're in the Worldport. Watching their family grow and get to be truly truly happy while they work on cleaning up Midas’ unintentional mess.)

-> [Ghost Song]

-> Just the whole idea of how after becoming Quixis, Icarus isn't reality seen or *known* anymore - And how they so desperately want to be. How they so desperately want to be seen and known and lived, but they can't - not for a while. How at this point they're just a ghost - changing and lurking, an entity everyone knows the name of, but not knows properly. Also almost that whole idea that they spend so much of their time watching over the Grove while their in the Worldport; changing and altering the small things so people, even if they won’t know until Icarus comes back, know they’re *there.*

-> [Introduction to the Snow]

-> Just that whole idea of now that Icarus is Quixis, they're alone. The Worldport is *empty* - no one is physically there with them, they're alone. They can't talk to anyone, no matter how much they so desperately want to. Also how this is *exactly* where they're meant to be.

-> [Today Today]

-> Just very ‘end of season 3’ coded - how upset Icarus, how much they were just *crying*, and they couldn't seem to stop regardless of how hard they tried. Also that whole idea of time going so so much slower in the Worldport, how ‘today' to Icarus must feel so so much different now. Also just that whole idea of being stuck between places, having everything to do because of everything up with the Worldport. That whole idea of so much happening in all the worlds they’re watching - there's so much to see and watch and understand and and and.

[Section Seven - Group songs, but an asterisk is attached to the first 4 because I write those pre stream and pre playlist re-organize- (sherbert please why did you do that right before stream-)]

-> [Machine]

-> The doubting of Fable's ideals, the realization of maybe they (Icarus) aren't doing the right thing by doing this, and how they don't *really* want to be a part of this anymore - how they don't want to be a part of Fable's machine, don't want to be a tool in his tool box, a means to an end.

-> The Idea that none of the people here, any of the members of the grove throughout the seasons, *want* to be a part of any of this - what to be here, want to do this, want to see any of this. The idea they don't want anymore resets - don't want anymore people to go through this, don't want to be a part of this revolving machine Fable has built for them.

-> [Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally]

-> Just that whole idea of how Icarus is just *angry* at Fable - How they're beginning to doubt him, and his ideals, and how they're just angry at the concept that he won't bring people back - that this was all for *nothing.* Also just them being so incredibly angry at *everyone.*

-> This is also very just season 1. Just the anger at Enderian and Ominous Bane and. All of season 1 and its hardships.

-> [Enemy]

-> Something about how, especially at the end, *everyone* wanted Icarus dead, gone, or both. They didn't want to be friends with Icarus, they'd been given too many chances, and no one was willing to save them anymore. How everyone wants to be, *is*, Icarus’ enemy by the end.

-> Just. The idea of everyone, at some point, being each other's enemy. At some point everyone has been on opposite sides with someone else in the grove - and that meant everyone else was going to side with *one* of them.

-> [The Search]

-> Just Icarus’ mentality right at the end, trying to find something, *anything,* that'd save or fix them, regardless of what. Searching for something they won't find, looking for something they can't see. Also their whole mentality towards Fable - anger and annoyance and *mad* - how in the end they end up killing like he almost killed them.

-> The whole idea of everyone like. Looking for something they can't find, can't get back, can't *see* - and the idea that over time they all slowly grow angry toward Fable and the resets and everything that's taken *anything* from them.

-> [Misery Fell]

-> I feel like you could argue this is either the very end of season 3 coded, or just the grove coded in general. Something about how they're constantly going through terrible terrible things - constantly having misery fall upon them.

-> [When You're an Adams]

-> How living in the grove is often a while experience - How you need to be prepared for anything, really, because you never know what's gonna happen next; never know what Gods are going to get involved or whatever people are going to go on a harming spree or or or.

-> [Ready As I'll Ever Be]

-> Either Perix fight coded, Or the Faction preparing to fight Fable. Something about getting ready for this big battle and fight, while the other side does exactly the same as that.

-> [We Don't Talk About Bruno]

-> I feel like you could argue either Enderian or Fable? The grove singing about them - respectively. Enderian mostly after season one, while the singing about Fable more now. How they probably don't really want to talk about much of that, no matter how far into the future it gets.

[atydblack]

trouvaille

regulus black x slytherin!reader

masterlist

this is part one of an ongoing series! think there will be 3 parts in total &lt;3 no cws as this is gonna be pure angst

Being James Potter's younger sister inquired a lot to live up to. James was the perfect Gryffindor student who succeeded in all his classes, exuded confidence with his every word, had soulmates for friends and an even better girlfriend.

You, however, were almost the opposite.

You were sorted into Slytherin in your first year and although they tried their best to hide it, you could see the disappointment in James and his friends eyes as you walked over to the Slytherin table. Your parents were still accepting but there was some clear favouritism in the family, no doubt. You did well in classes however didn't ever see yourself becoming a prefect like James or being top of any classes.

You sat in potions next to your best friend, Lara. Her straight blonde hair and bright blue eyes opposed my black curly hair and dark brown eyes. You had always been jealous of her, she was the type to catch everyone's eye when she walked into a room while you just trudged in behind her.

"Do you have idea what this question means?" Lara asks you, huffing slightly as she rested her chin in her hand.

"You really think I'd have the answer if you didn't?" You joked. You glanced up at Slughorn who had started dozing off behind his desk and you smirked. "Look."

Lara mirrored your smirk and you both dropped your quills on the desk to turn around and start talking with your friends instead.

"I'm bored out of my mind." Lara groaned to your other friend Freya sat behind you.

"Slughorn says if we don't get these all finished, he's gonna give us all detention until we get them done." Freya rolled her eyes, but you could clearly see that she'd almost finished.

"Have you got the number to 42?" You asked her with wide eyes, trying to sway her in to letting you copy her. "And 43, 44, 45... and the rest?"

"Merlin your voices are retched." A voice came from a couple desks to your right, none other than Enoch Wilkes. He was a tall boy with sleeked back greasy hair and a superiority complex due to his family heritage.

"What's your problem, Wilkes?" Lara shot at him.

"I'm trying to actually do my work but all I can hear is Potter's squeaky voice in my ear." Wilkes replied with a grunt.

"She's just as unbearable as Saint Potter except dumber." Icarus Nott joined in from next to him.

"What did you just say?" You spat, standing to your feet and making your way over to them with your wand gripped tightly in your palm, willing to do anything to stand up for your older brother. There was a third boy sat with them, Regulus Black.

Regulus had always been quiet, however he never failed to be part of the horrid Slytherins who gave your house a bad name and thought they were elite causing them to look down on everyone else. He had only made a few sly comments in past years, but everyone knew his thoughts on muggle blood.

You were also a pureblood, but would never allow yourself to feel any prejudice towards anyone else.

You couldn't deny that Regulus was attractive. He looked a lot like Sirius... however his facial features were softer. His dark black hair fell onto his forehead effortlessly and his green eyes complimented his pale skin.

"You heard me." Nott mocked you, not moving from his seat. You had gained a small audience as everyone's head turned towards you.

"What an embarrassment having a Gryffindor blood traitor for a brother." Wilkes joked, not backing down. "At least Black had the right idea and cut his off, what's stopping you from doing the same?"

"Y/N, sit down." Freya begged from across the classroom, not wanting to get either of you in trouble. "He's not worth it."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." You smirked, holding up your wand and pointing it right at him.

You were closest to Sirius out of all your brothers friends. He had moved in with your family two years ago after he left his family and you'd always been there for him, especially during everything that happened with his brother Regulus. Regulus was clearly a lost soul, strung along on the same ideologies as his parents however he would send letters to Sirius every once and a while but continued to act like he didn't exist at school.

"Leave it, Wilkes." Regulus muttered. Funny this is the first time he had ever attempted to stick up for you and it was only to save his own back.

"What's she talking about, Black?" Nott glanced at him, but Regulus' eyes were set on yours as you stared each other down. You knew you would never actually say anything to expose Regulus as doing so would only hurt Sirius too, but you could sense how scared he was that you'd open your mouth.

"She's a freak." Wilkes chuckled. "Just like her brother."

This sent you over the edge as everything turned red. You dropped your wand to the floor and quickly punched Wilkes square in the nose.

"Olive!" Lara shouted from across the classroom.

You felt a pair of strong arms pulling you back as you attempted to go in for another hit.

"What on earth is going on?!" Slughorn announced and you all froze. You turned around to see it was in fact Regulus' arms that were holding you back and a brush grew on your cheeks. "Black, Potter - sit down at once!"

You both complied, with a guilty expression you made your way back over to your desk and your friends gave you an apologetic look.

"I expect to see you both after class." Slughorn continued.

"But sir-!" Nott shouted, attempting to stick up for Regulus.

"I don't want to hear it." Slughorn quickly cut him off earning a scoff from the boy.

The lesson felt like it took hours to end but you felt slightly ill in your stomach when everyone else was packing up to leave but you and Regulus sat firmly in your seats.

"We'll be in the great hall; I'll save you a seat." Lara smiled at you before her and Freya took off out the classroom and to dinner.

"Both of you have detention with Filch every night after dinner starting tomorrow." Slughorn mumbled, uninterested. You scoffed as you were way too used to detention with Filch now.

When you were dismissed, you quickly stood to your feet and attempted to leave ahead off Regulus to avoid any awkwardness. You began walking down the corridor, ready to rant to James about what had occured.

"Potter!" Regulus called from behind you. You stopped in your tracks and turned on your feet with a confused expression on your face. He approached you slowly and timidly before speaking. "I-uh. I wanted to thank you for not saying anything about Sirius and I."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for Sirius." You mutter before turning back around and leaving him there dumbfounded.

You reach the great hall and make a B line for your brother and his friends. James smirked at you as you approach him with a sour expression on your face before sitting in between him and Sirius, your green robes standing out in the sea of red.

"What's up with you, Y/N?" Sirius smirked before patting me on the top of your head.

"I've got detention again this week." You huff, crossing your arms and leaning them on the table.

"How do you manage to get yourself into so much trouble?" Lily quizzed you, a humorous look on her face that mirrored the rest of the group.

"She takes after me, that's why." James joked but you only rolled your eyes in response.

"Yeah, apart from the brains." You sigh, leaning your head on Sirius' shoulder. You glanced over at the Slytherin table and quickly caught eyes with Regulus, who must have been staring at you. You kept eye contact for a short moment before he turned his head and acted like it never happened. You furrow your eyebrows and listed your head once again. "At least I'm the better-looking sibling." You continue, causing everyone to laugh.

"Keep dreaming, kiddo." James rolled his eyes.

"Go on then, what did you do this time?" Remus questions you.

"I punched Enoch Wilkes in the nose during potions." You say smugly causing everyone to laugh once again.

"I would advise you that violence isn't the answer, however we can make some exceptions for people like that." Remus smirked.

"Tell me about it, they're horrid." You scoff before stealing some food from James plate. "No offence obviously, Sirius."

"Go ahead," Sirius chuckled. "I had to endure it for most of my life."

[sherbertquake56]

What kind of bird traits or behaviours do you think that Icarus would express? Like how would they sleep with their wings, would they kind of show bird like behaviours, do they like shiny things, can they see glass? So on.

Also, if I'm able to get a second question. What do you think would be Icarus's pose? I'm just asking so I can draw them.

SHERBIRB SHERBIRB SHERBIRB

okay SO— sherbirb was a really late decision in terms of planning the canon, but it IS canon

What I’ve canonically decided on was that Icarus was born with lil bird ears (or got them very early as a kid) and those ears later glitched into hardcore sherb’s elf ears over the resets-

All that to say: *they got canon bird tendencies*

For Icarus, the wings are super natural and easy to move with their body. I definitely picture Icarus sleeping mainly on their stomach, so their wings can spread out, but sometimes will sleep with one wing under them as a pillow.

Their house has to be absolutely covered in feathers- would I call their bed a nest? No not directly- but it qualifies for sure- they absolutely have a tendency to perch when they sit, and perch on any object they can see. I think Centross was one of the few people allowed to preen their wings, as well as Rae (several times) …and maybe Ven too by the end of it-

I also absolutely live for them doing lil bird chirps— is it canon? No not directly, but I love it and I agree- but I do think that they can see glass though

Do they have bird feet? no, not in canon sadly- but that doesn’t mean they can’t in theory! I personally love the idea of shoving bird feet in converse- or just bird feet in general-

I also think Icarus as a child had a lot more bird tendencies than they do now- and that they grew away from them with the resets and only recently started picking them up again-

Overall: I LOVE SHERBIRB (and make em as bird as you want!)

[elderwisp]

On Repeat - an oc tag

rules are pretty simple, pick as many (or as little) oc's as you'd like and find a song that you relate to them the most! feel free to mention why too! o and tag some more ppl too! that would be cool! i tag: @goldenwaves @acidheaddd @dejasenti99 @earthmoonz @moonfromearth @stinkrascal @matchalovertrait @lynzishell @sirianasims @vicciouxs @gvaudoiin-tricou @smulie @living-undead @pralinesims @lucidicer @literalite @nepotisim @mattodore @madebycoffee @daniigh0ul @changingplumbob @yukikocloud @cinamun @moonwoodhollow @youredreamingofroo @acuar-io @raiiny-bay

deep dive below ⇣

Frances Dubois:

Something about the whimsical instrumentals backed up with the haunting vocals almost reminds me of someone stuck in a loop. There's repetition in the chorus that solidifies that feeling. I also like the juxtaposition of the French lyrics, like the second singer is aware and has a desire to change. When I think of Frances, I envision someone in limbo and part of that is the inability to make a decision. She finds herself stuck, in a way, her anxiety makes the decision for her because doing nothing is something. Whilst Icarus has helped nudge her into making decisions such as aiding her in graduating, speaking to Atlas, and supporting her in her audition. there's still this internal desire to make that move on her own. The first time we see her do that is when she decides to kiss Icarus, which in a way, pushed her back into her loop as it didn't end well. As of current events, she's avoided him since.

↬ sometimes - mattyeux and princess chelsea

Daniella Álvarez:

This song to me encapsulates someone who has had to be independent at a very young age. The beginning opens with spoken lyrics, "She asked me who's taking care of me, I said, 'I take care of me'" and whilst incredibly empowering, there's always that question of how did we get here? Dan is the eldest of two younger siblings. In fact, there's quite the age gap between her siblings and if we look at Valeria, she also looks just as youthful. Dan is the product of an unplanned pregnancy as well as a bit of a narcissistic mother. The disorderly environment in which she's been given, learning to be a caretaker of her siblings and the constant pressure of success has lead her to have self-sufficient character. Whenever I think about her dynamic with her friends, I'm reminded of this scene, and she's the glue that is trying to hold the chaos together.

↬ taken care of - suzi wu

Kai Castillo:

Christ this song is so good. The instrumentals backed up by the vocals, feels a bit somber. Throughout Tessellate, Kai hides behind the fact that he has these feelings towards Atlas and they've started to bubble over into jealousy as Atlas's relationship grows with Kai's sister, Taryn. I also love that there are a lot of comparisons here to Lucifer Morningstar and religious elements. Kai's relationship with his religion is somewhat of a paradox as he is a closeted gay man to his parents, his sister and church. In fact, he does a lot of things that would bring quite a bit disapproval. He's unforthcoming, somewhat suspicious because his secrets have given him a reason to be. His story is of one that falls from grace.

↬ i am the antichrist to you - kishi bashi

Atlas Dubois:

While Paul Julian Banks narrates a song about struggling with addiction, I noticed there's a bit of a different beat in comparison to the rest of Interpol's songs. The tempo is much slower, as if exhaustion has set in and we're barely moving along. When we meet Atlas, it's at the beginning of a fresh start, not really knowing what has happened prior. Slowly throughout, we pull back minor details that entail his complex struggles with addiction. What initially started out as a bit of fun, became all consuming, allowing any given opportunity to be a reason why he should use. The bridge of this song also discuss the contrast between himself and his partner discovering his addiction for the first time. There's also a change in his tone during that that I find to be so neat! It does remind me a bit of his relationship with Taryn. I do know that addiction lasts a lifetime, and that love doesn't solve it all, but I also know that right support is the most important.

↬ rest my chemistry - interpol

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 5

And here we arrive at the second post today. I'm just trying to move through my backlog so that I'm down to my preferred three ahead. Glitters is at the rut, so only a chapter or two left to write, so that's almost done. Soulmates is to filling the gaps in the "In Media Res" scene and is nearing its end, too. Which means with any luck, I'll be down to just three WIP at the end of the month: Moonlight, Boy w/a Bat, and this one.

In this chapter, we have Eddie being a menace and giving Steve and Robin the fright of their lives. And because my Steddie never take anything slow, they kiss about it.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

The last spot on The Fallen’s American tour was Pasadena just to flip Dustin’s shit now that he was in Hawkin’s, Eddie was sure.

Eddie bought nose bleed seats because he didn’t want to throw Steve off of his playing. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass him and take the spotlight off their music.

He tucked his signature locks under a hat, removed his face piercings, and made sure all his tattoos were covered. He wore an Abbadon hoodie over his regular clothes and got into place in his seat.

He watched the whole show with great enthusiasm, banging along to his favorite songs.

Eddie was most of the way through the show when the twelve year old boy next to him clocked him for who he really is.

He put his finger up to his lips and winked. The boy nodded solemnly and he turned back to spectacle in front of them, like he hadn’t seen the frontman for the biggest metal band in the world sitting in the nose bleed seats for The Fallen.

Eddie lucked out on that one. Boys that age were of two schools of thought regarding secrets, either everyone knew or no one did. He stumbled on the latter.

Thank god!

He really didn’t want this to blow up on him before he got a chance to surprise Steve.

The concert was even more amazing than the one in Indy and Eddie’s skin was just thrumming with excitement as he paid off a member of stadium staff to send the flowers to the dressing room.

They let him wait in the wings without telling anyone who he was. He wasn’t sure how long it would take for Steve to get his flowers. But he wasn’t bored. He watched the roadies and techs scramble about breaking down the set pieces.

He saw two of them carrying Astraeus’s wings and they were even cooler close up. He could that they weren’t just glittery blue, but actual galaxies and constellations.

He was about to ask if he could touch them when a woman in a stylish, black pant suit and sunglasses came storming over to him in a panic.

“Eddie Munson?” she hissed. “Come with me, now!”

Eddie grinned. “Right with you, darlin’.”

He followed her all the way to the dressing room, hands in his back pockets and a skip in his step.

****

Steve was tired. Fuck he was so tired. He scrubbed his face trying to get the sweat off.

The dressing room was heavily guarded so that he could get out his getup to shower and get the patina of being on stage off of his skin.

He would get back into Abbadon before he walked out, but he just needed to be him for a moment.

He stepped out of the shower and looked around at the gifts from fans. The management had put in the ones they thought he would want to see the most.

In the pile was the most striking blue roses he had ever seen. They were almost a midnight blue. His favorite color and his favorite flower. He walked over to them slowly as he dried himself off with the towel.

There was a simple note.

“I know your secret, sweetheart.

But don’t worry, it’s safe with me.”

Steve’s hand shook as he read the note over and over again. He made a dive for his phone, towel forgotten on the floor.

He sent off a quick text to Robin.

-Find Eddie Munson, now!

He got a message back with just one word.

-How!

He replied.

-He’s here

Steve dressed and then sat down on the sofa, settling in to wait. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and he put the mask up to his face while the door was open, intending to lower it again. But seeing Eddie standing there with a feral grin on his face.

He wavered, unsure.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie said, his grin never leaving his face. “Did you like the flowers?”

The woman looked back and forth between them in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Eddie turned to her. “You see, Robin, I figured out that Stevie here is the lead singer of an up and coming metal band. And that you two have been keeping secrets.”

Steve dropped the mask in shock, revealing his face. “How?”

Robin took off her sunglasses. “Who told? Who the fuck do I have to sue?”

Eddie smirked. “No one.”

“You’re trying to tell me,” she said with a scoff, “that Mr Double Super Senior figured out something that had been so closely guarded for the last couple of years?”

“Yup!”

Steve stood up and threw the mask on the sofa. He walked carefully over to the man he closely regarded as his best friend, the high heels of his costume clicking on the wood floor.

“How’d you do it, Eds?” he whispered when he got close enough. “How did you figure it out before the press, before our friends who are literal geniuses, before my own fucking parents?”

Eddie lifted up Steve’s jaw up with his fingers and then tapped on the two moles on the side of his neck. The ones Eddie always thought of as love bites.

“My moles?” Steve asked, unsure.

“I noticed them when I went to the concert with Dustin in Indy,” Eddie said softly. “That’s how I knew it was you.”

“Have you got some obsession with moles or something?” Robin sneered.

He shook his head. “Just Stevie.”

Steve gasped. “Oh.”

“Oh,” Robin repeated. “I’m still going to have to make you sign an NDA. I’m sorry. I know you won’t tell, but I have to be sure.”

Eddie nodded. “Send it to my lawyers.”

She nodded and slipped out of the door, barely opening it wide enough for her to exit. She put the glasses back on and decided she needed a drink. A big one. Maybe three.

****

“Sit down, sweetheart,” Eddie cooed. “I know how exhausting shows can be and you did it in high heels.”

Steve let out a watery chuckle but did as he was told.

“I never thought that someone would figure it out,” he said shakily. “I’m so scared right now.”

Eddie wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. “Oh, Stevie. I didn’t think it would frighten you, otherwise I would have just kept my mouth shut.”

Steve looked him in the eyes. “I’m not frightened of you or that you would tell. It’s just that old adage of if you want to keep a secret between two people–”

“You kill one,” Eddie finished grimly. “I know, baby.”

After a few months of silence Steve whispered, “So you’re obsessed with me?”

Eddie burst out laughing. “Yeah. Have been for years.”

“How long?” Steve asked biting his lip and playing with the sleeve of his hooded coat. He looked away not sure he really wanted the answer. Was this new, because he was in a metal band? Was it recent, with Steve not being as readily available as he was before?

“Since high school.”

Steve’s head snapped up and he looked at up at him in awe. “Holy shit, Eds, that’s forever.”

A soft, fond smile spread out over Eddie’s face, his dimples deepening to sharp lines on his cheeks.

It was Steve’s favorite smile of his. And one he was learning might just be for him and him alone.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie breathed, “I know.”

They were so close, their breath mingled together, their noses brushed and Steve’s eyelashes fanned out, almost touching Eddie’s cheek.

Steve let out a gasp and Eddie closed the distance. Their lips met and Steve would swear for years to come that there were god damned fireworks. There had to be. Nothing and no one had ever felt like this. It was warm and soft and hot and sexy and bright and dark all at once. Every nerve ending lit up where just their lips touched.

And then Eddie cupped the back of his head and whatever thoughts that were in Steve’s head flew out the window. Every fear, every anxiety, every doubt went running for the hills. All he needed in this very moment was Eddie.

Until the end of time.

“Wow,” Eddie breathed when he finally managed to pull away.

Steve could only agree. “Um...can you meet me at my hotel?”

Eddie licked his lips. He wanted to take Stevie apart right then right there. But it would put Steve in danger of being discovered.

And that could not happen.

Now that he knew Steve’s secret, now that Steve was letting him in. Like all the way in, he would do anything to protect him.

“Yeah, baby,” he agreed. “I’ll meet you there. Message Celeste,” he winked, “and let her know to sneak me in.”

Steve relaxed that final increment. He kissed him fiercely. “Thanks for understanding, Eds. I love you so much.”

Eddie blushed, shoving a strand of hair into his mouth to hide his face. “Ah, sweetheart. There’s nothing to thank me for. I’d burn the world down for you if you asked.”

Steve kissed him again. “I think it’s best if I go out first and then message you when the coast is clear.”

Eddie nodded.

He was still in disguise. Only four people knew who he was. The kid, Robin and Steve, and the dude he paid to get the flowers in Steve’s dressing room.

Which Eddie would send his own team of lawyers to make sure the man didn’t so much as breathe the wrong direction.

He would then, of course meet with “Celeste” and “Abbadon” to construct the perfect cover story for Steve being on the tour with Corroded Coffin. Provided Steve said yes.

Twenty minutes later, Eddie emerged from the dressing room to see only a couple of roadies still milling around.

He blinked at one of them for a moment, but then the guy disappeared around a corner and he couldn’t be sure.

He would swear later it looked like Simon Olsen. Steve’s friend. But that couldn’t be right? Couldn’t it?

He shook himself off. He had a hotel to get to and paparazzi to dodge.

Eddie slipped into his old middle school persona. The one from before he moved in with his uncle, Wayne. The one where he could shrink in on himself.

Become... not invisible, per se. Not important enough to be worth a look at.

He removed the hoodie and handed it to fan lingering outside. He roughed up his hair, untied the shoelaces on his boots, rubbed dirt on his knees and hands.

Once his new disguise was in place, he shambled down the street and people moved right through him as if he wasn’t there.

Eddie had to fight down a grin. People were eaten up with curiosity on how he could avoid getting papped no matter where he went. And this right here was his secret. Appear homeless and no one would give a damn.

He got into position and texted ‘Celeste’ he had arrived. He took the time to smooth out his hair and stretch out his spine. Walking hunched over like that hurt as he kicked and screamed into his late twenties. Something he never thought he would reach.

He texted Jeff to let him know he wouldn’t be back to night and settled in to wait.

Soon enough he was led up through the back way and then into Steve’s hotel room.

As soon as the door closed, Steve was on him.

“Are you okay? Did anyone see you?” And then, “Why are you so dirty?”

Eddie burst out laughing. “Just a little thing I learned from dear ole dad about walking about unseen. So just let me clean up a bit and I’m all yours.”

Steve bit his lip and nodded nervously.

Eddie chuckled. “Unless you wanted to join me in the shower?” he said over his shoulder.

Steve perked right up and followed Eddie into the en suite bathroom, kicking the door closed with a grin.

****

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

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[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 8

Fic Summary: Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9)

Chapter Summary: Eddie explains himself, and you two make plans to hang out on purpose.

5.7k Words

a/n: Sorry I haven't been updating! I swear, I'm almost always thinking about this fic but I've been trying to figure out where to go with it. I'm started to see how I want to shape the story (over 40k words in, go figure). Thank you all so much for your patience!

Also, I've had a lot of people ask me about Paige and have shown interest in what happened between her and Eddie. She is actually from Eddie's prequel novel, Flight of Icarus! I'll still explain bits and pieces during the story, but I highly recommend reading the novel for the full context. I am trying to write this in a way you don't need to read FoI, but it does give extra context to the story.

Anyway, we continue.

Aside from the mixtape playing in the van, it was surprisingly quiet between you and Eddie. Despite his eagerness to show up and take you out, now that you were sitting in his passenger side seat again, he had no idea what to do next. The sound of Iron Maiden was rumbling through the van, crackling through the old speakers. 

It wasn’t often that Eddie was at a loss for words or couldn’t come up with something to say. After embracing his role in the Hawkins High ecosystem as the resident loudmouth freak he could always come up with something to say to break the ice or cause a ruckus. 

But, being loud wasn’t exactly a substitution for actual charisma. He could hold the attention of his Hellfire Club during the game, and keep them safe enough from most bullies even. But intimidation was different than... whatever the hell he was supposed to be doing here. Flirting? That seemed right. He knew he should be trying to flatter you or compliment you or do something to show that he had an interest in you. 

“So,” you were the one to break the silence between the two of you. “What have you been up to for the past two weeks?”

Eddie know what you actually meant was “What the fuck, man?” which was a really fair question. 

“I should have called you sooner.” It was best to go ahead and rip the bandaid off now and get this conversation out of the way. “I’m sorry, I wanted to but I couldn’t.”

“Why not?” you asked, leaning against the passenger side door as you looked at him. Despite your eagerness to get out of Family Video with him, he could see that you weren’t going to just let him not explain why he hadn’t talked to you. Not that he was going to leave you hanging like that anyway. 

“My phone blew up.” Eddie said bluntly. 

“Your phone blew up? Like... actually exploded?” you asked, trying to see if he was fucking with you. 

“Remember that huge storm a few weeks ago? Turns out that old trailers don’t exactly have the best wiring sometimes so when lightning strikes it knocks out power for a few days and fries some important wires.” he explained. “So... yeah, we just got a new phone today and when I tried to call...”

“So, I didn’t answer my phone so you decided to track me down?” There was amusement in your voice which he took as a good sign. “Seems like you could have done that part earlier. I’m not hard to find.” 

“I’m not exactly interested in stalking.” Eddie snorted. “I’m already on enough people's shitlist in town.”

“Oh, you’re no fun.” you laughed. “You know where I live, you could have shown up at my doorstep in the rain or used random phones around town to leave weird messages about how you can’t stop thinking about me or sent me letters with cryptic meanings.”

“Where do you come up with these things?” Eddie laughed, feeling the tension between the two of you start to dissipate. 

“I read a lot of bodice-ripper books.” you shrugged. “Trashy romance novels are a guilty pleasure sometimes.” 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a weirdo?” 

“Steve did about an hour ago when I suggested that Bozo the clown could be the shit out of Pennywise from It.” 

Eddie wasn’t sure what he expected you to say, but it wasn’t that. Every time you had shown up in his life, you had completely thrown him off. He was starting to suspect that no amount of “Munson Magic” was going to work on you. Not that he wanted to work his dad’s charm on you to begin with. 

What he really wanted to do at that moment was ask you about your little bet with Steve. No, wait, not a bet. A deal? Maybe he should have asked Dustin more questions, or at least waited until after Hellfire to talk to the kid- 

”So what’s the plan?” You broke through his thoughts once again. “You show up out of nowhere and have me get into your unmarked van to take me to a second location... is there a second location in mind?”

There wasn’t, Eddie really hadn’t thought that far ahead.He’d panicked after his talk with Wayne and had shown up to Family Video on the chance that you’d been there. He’d run straight out the door with every intention of finding you and let you know that he was stupid for not trying harder to call you before. 

”I figured we could just... drive.” He wished he could ignore the sudden parallel between you and Paige. He wished that he could just forget about what happened in ‘84. Fuck, him and Paige never even had an official date, only hooking up in his van for a few weeks before everything blew up. 

Wait, was this a date? Crap, that had been the plan right? Show up, ask you on a date and then... then he’d be on a date. What the FUCK was he actually doing? He was acting so fucking awkward now- everything had been easier before. Why did Dustin have to open his big mouth about this?

“Just driving sounds great.” you said, and Eddie once again tried to relax. Every girl he had been with had wanted something from him. Nicole Summers and Cass Finnigan just wanted bragging rights that they got with the freak, and Paige had wanted him to be a rock hero. What did you want from him?

“Have you eaten?” It wasn’t exactly late, but it wasn’t really early in the evening either. His uncle always asked him that whenever one of them got home, and it had taken Eddie an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was Wayne’s way of showing that he cared. 

“I could eat.” you replied, which at least gave this... whatever this was, some structure for the night. Eddie didn’t have a lot of cash on him, but he could probably scrape together enough to get you each a burger or something. 

When the Iron Maiden tape clicked off and spat itself out, you took it upon yourself to pull it out and look it over. “Got any other tapes in here? I need to judge your music taste.” 

That made Eddie laugh “You and every other person in this town. I have a few more tapes in here.” He tapped on the center console which you eagerly dug into, flipping through the different cassettes with eagerness. 

“Metal. Metal. Metal. Metal.” You said, going through each cassette one by one. “I’m starting to see a pattern here, Eddie.” 

“What gave it away?” He said deadpan. “Was it that I play guitar or the fact that we’ve only bonded over music so far?”

“And Chris Morrison.”

“And Chris Morrison.”

“It was your hair, actually. You look so much like Eddie Van Halen it’s actually uncanny.” You looked up from the tapes and he could feel your eyes studying his face. He was glad that it was dark out now, as he could feel warmth rising in his cheeks at the comparison. Was that a compliment? Were you into him looking like Van Halen? 

“Van Halen?” Eddie asked. “I figured I was more of a Kirk Hammett type.”

“The hair yes,” you agreed, still staring at his face as he continued to drive. “But your smile is definitely more Van Halen.”

When was the last time someone had ever looked at him with that much consideration before? Something in Eddie’s gut twisted as he glanced over at you for a split second to meet your eyes. Huh, that was weird. Had anyone made him nervous like this before? Yeah he’d been attracted to Paige but this was starting to feel different. 

He really needed a cigarette right about now. 

“I hope that’s a compliment.” Eddie managed to say as he fumbled for the packet of Camels in the cupholder by him. 

“Oh, it is. I promise.” you replied, digging out a lighter and helping him light the smoke in his mouth. The world's tiniest supernova...

Eddie hated that the closest thing he had to compare notes on when it came to a healthy romance was two months with Paige and a handful of movies that he barely watched. 

You went back to his tapes, and seemed to pick one out. You removed the tape that had been spat out, put it back in the appropriate case (which Eddie found himself appreciating), and he was surprised to hear the old riffs of Muddy Waters playing. 

“A palate cleanser.” you said, leaning back into the passenger side seat. 

Eddie felt his mind reeling from your choice of music. Muddy Waters had been how his mom introduced him to rock at a young age. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the well loved tape as he pulled into the drive in of the next fast food joint he’d seen. 

When he pulled up to the window to pay, a fresh ten was shoved in his face before he could even reach for his own wallet. It took a moment for him to realize that you were wanting to pay. 

“You got me out of work early, it’s the least I can do.” you said, not giving him the option to say no as cash was exchanged for a bag of questionable but cheap food. You held the bag in your lap as Eddie started making his way out of town. 

“So is this an ‘eating van’ or a ‘non-eating van’?” you asked, messing with the top of the bag. 

“I think I’d starve if I didn’t eat in here.” Eddie snorted. “Knock yourself out.”

You wasted no time digging into the fries and taking a few for yourself as Eddie went to the only place that he could afford to take you right now that might be date worthy. 

Luckily, Lover’s Lake was quiet and private on weeknights. If Eddie had taken two minutes to plan this better, he would have thought to maybe clear out the back of his van and set out a blanket and have a picnic. When it came to music and D&D he was great at planning out details, with dates? Not so much. 

This isn’t a date. He reminded himself for the hundredth time tonight. She’s just a girl that you ran over to spend time with the second it occurred to you that she might have an interest in you and she really willingly hopped in your van and your friends actually like her-

Shit. This had to be a date right? Neither of you had said the word but that’s what it was... right? 

Eddie was snapped out of his thoughts with the sweet smell of hot potatoes and grease was wafting under his nose. You had shoved a few fries in front of his face and Eddie wasted no time in taking them. You continued to absently feed him fries as he found a spot to park.

The two of you divided up the food on his dashboard, and Eddie rolled down the windows to let the cool autumn air in. 

“So... what are you gonna be for Halloween?” Eddie asked, wincing internally. When was the last time anyone he knew had dressed up for Hallowen? Okay, so Hellfire Club did tend to dress up on Halloween for a special one shot but that was different- no one came to school in costumes anymore.

“It depends on my plans.” you answered. “Halloween is on a Thursday so I’m usually working. If I have a morning shift I’ll probably do zombie makeup for work, if Steve and Robin are working with me that day I think we’re gonna attempt to be Luke, Leia, and Hans.” 

“And are you gonna be Leia?” Eddie asked. 

“Ideally, I wanted to be Chewie but I don’t have the time for that.” you laughed. “Robin and I voted on Steve to Be Leia. Robin will be Luke, and I’ll be Hans Solo with a teddy bear.”

“Please tell me that Harrington isn’t going to be in the bikini.” Eddie laughed. 

“Keith said costumes had to be work appropriate so, sadly, Steve will not be gracing the store with his sweater-vest chest hair under a bra.” You sighed dramatically. “It’s like he hates the idea of us having fun!” 

“What if you have to close?” Eddie prompted, adjusting in his seat to lean against the door to face you as best he could. Next time he was absolutely clearing out the back to give you both more room. 

“Oh, I am not closing.” you said firmly. “And if Keith thinks he can schedule me that day he can suck it because I have plans.” 

You already have Halloween plans. Of course you would. It’s not like you had to worry about school on a weekday like he did. Eddie tried not to deflate in front of you and remained calm. 

“And what plans would that be?” he asked. 

“Have you ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show?” you asked, a smile tugging at your lips. 

He had, once, with Reefer Rick a few months ago when picking up his usual supply. A quick pick up had turned into a game of pool, which had turned into the two of them high on Rick’s couch watching an old VHS tape while Rick laughed his ass off and yelled at the tv before passing out in the middle of Tim Curry seducing Brad and Janet. 

“Once.” Eddie said, not giving the exact details of circumstance. “With a friend, I didn’t really get it.” 

“Did you see it in theaters or did you just watch it at home?” you asked, finishing off your food. 

“Friend’s house.” 

“Oh, no wonder you didn’t get it. Rocky Horror is an experience, you can’t just pop the tape in and watch it. You have to come see it in a theater.” As you spoke you were absently folding a napkin in your lap turning it into what looked like a heart. When you were done with that one, you started with another shape with a different napkin. 

“Is that an invitation?” Eddie asked, tearing his eyes away from the way your fingers moved for now. He found his heart pounding in his chest, unsure if you were actually wanting him to come to this, and from the knot forming in his stomach as the shapes you were folding reminded him of the times he met you before. 

“It is.” you confirmed, the ninja star you had shaped with the napkin was placed on the center console as you grabbed another napkin. “...It could also be a date.” 

Despite the period at the end of the sentence, Eddie heard the slight waiver in your voice on the word date. It was that same nervous stammer that had been in Paige’s voice when she offered to let him move in with her in California, it was the same hesitant inflection that one of his Hellfire players used when they weren’t sure if Eddie would approve of what crazy plan they had for their character. 

Aside from that first awkward meeting at the Palace Arcade, you had been pretty confident and upfront with him. Now here you are, laying out your intentions and seeing what he would do. 

What would he do? Eddie had shown up at Family Video with no real plan. He only knew he wanted to see you again, and he knew that Dustin and Steve were trying to set you two up. And it’s not like Eddie was completely against the idea of going on a date with you. You were sharp, and you kept him on his toes, and when you smiled at him it felt like his brain might short out. 

But he had also panicked when he had thought that you were going to kiss him before. After Eddie’s disastrous break up with Paige two years ago, it’s not like he’d been completely against any physical relationships. There had been a grand total of two other hook ups that he’d sabotaged. People weren’t interested in getting to know the freak, they just wanted to say that they had been with him. So both times, Eddie had made sure that he’d been a lousy date and a decent enough lay before deciding that he’d rather had a date with his right hand and a Heavy Metal magazine.

Eddie would rather the rumor mill call him a boring date rather than set a standard that he’d go out with anyone who asked. He wondered if he had, would Steve have put his name on the town marquis for the world to see? Would Eddie ‘the Slut’ Munson be treated any differently than Eddie ‘the Freak’?

Shit, you were still waiting for a response. 

“A date.” Eddie finally managed to echo your last words back at you. The napkin you had been messing with in your hands was now taking the shape of a ninja star. 

“I mean, if you’re interested.” you said quickly. “It could just be a friend thing. Or you probably already have plans for Halloween-”

“I don’t.” Eddie interjected. “It could be a date.”

He watched your shoulders relax and you smiled up at him. “It’s a date then.” You grabbed a napkin and your green marker out of your bag and scribbled something down, handing it over to him. 

“In case your phone blows up again, here is the date and time and location for the Halloween showing of the movie.” your eyes narrowed slightly at him. “And my work schedule has been hectic but I consistently work on Sunday’s and clock out at four.”

Eddie got the message loud and clear, he would know where to find you now. There wouldn’t be any excuses for not reaching out, but two could play at this game. He took the marker from your hand and grabbed his own napkin, scribbling his own phone number down and handing it over to you. 

“I’m at school all week, but I still play at the Hideout on Tuesdays.” He answered back. “Friday is Hellfire.”

With that, the playing field felt a little more level. Both of you now had the power to track the other one down or call when needed.   

“So what are you going to be for Halloween?” you asked, tucking the napkin with his number into your bog. 

“Oh, haven’t you heard? When you’re the town freak every day is Halloween.” Eddie chuckled. 

“So what, you’re gonna put on a polo and khakis instead?” He liked the way you scrunch your nose when you laughed. “Ditch the jewelry and cover your tattoos?” 

“That would probably scare some of the teachers at school.” Eddie had considered doing exactly that, but he really didn’t think he’d want that kind of attention. “No one dresses up at school anymore.”

“Boring.” You sighed. “I tried dressing up for Halloween my senior year but when I got to school my friends convinced me to change clothes.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem like the type to let other people tell you what to do.” 

“Now I’m not.” you shrugged. “I’m not in high school anymore, and all those people that I saw everyday? Turns out I was only friends with them because I saw them every day. Once you get away from that forced routine you realize that it’s all bullshit.”

Eddie could relate, probably better than anyone else. He was so sick of the day to day hierarchy of highschool that he’d scream it from on top of a table. Literally. 

“What were you trying to be before your friends killed your fun?” Eddie asked. 

“A pirate. It was last minute but I had a bandana, an eyepatch, a sock puppet with feathers glued to it for my parrot, and a wire hanger I was carrying around as a hook.” you laughed at the memory. “I ended up dropping the eyepatch before my friends made me change because I kept running into people. My wire hanger was confiscated, some asshat stole my parrot, and one of my friends gave me a sweater to change into. I didn’t even make it to first period in that outfit.”

Eddie had made it a point to not pay attention to anyone outside of his small group at school, only ever keeping an eye out for lost sheep that didn’t have anywhere else to go. He wondered, if he had seen you that morning in the brief window before you were pushed back into conformity would he have noticed you? Talked to you? You had already been nice to him before. 

“Wait,” Eddie over at you, taking in the picture you had painted for him. “You made a sock puppet parrot?”

“I needed a parrot, or else no one would get it!” you explained. “But then when I took it off and left it to go use the bathroom it was gone. I finally found the thief in fourth period because they kept playing with it and squawking my own parrot at me. But by that point I had just cut my losses and had given up on Halloween.”

“Are you usually this crafty?” Eddie asked, once again looking at the final napkin you were folding into what looked like an old cootie catcher. 

“I get bored easily.” you said. “If I don’t have something to do with my hands I can’t focus.”

“How’d you start with the whole-” Eddie grabbed one of his slightly used napkins and gave it a wave. “Folding thing?”

“Fourth grade show and tell.” you said. “I did not prepare anything and so I spent a full ten minutes in the school library to find something to show. I found a book on origami, found the easiest thing to make and realized that I actually enjoyed it.”

If that was a mystery, it sure did get solved right there. Eddie wanted to ask about Steve and Dustin. He wanted to ask you why him? He could keep his mouth shut, let this whole thing play out and see what happened. Eddie could sit here, and enjoy the fact that a girl was giving him the time of day and leave everything up in the air just like he had with Paige. 

“So I heard you and Steve had a deal going on.” Eddie said. “Something about getting dates?”

You froze for a second, the completed cootie catcher in your hands. Things were dead silent for a grand total of ten seconds. Ten agonizingly long seconds. Even the cassette player had clicked off and was now whirring as it rewind the Iron Maiden tape. 

Then you started laughing. A lot. 

“Jesus, Eddie!” you said, wiping your eyes with the ninja star as a tear threatened to spill down your cheek. “I tell you I have origami as a hobby, and you follow up with ‘So I heard you and Steve are trying to get dates.’ Seriously?”

Eddie remained silent at your reaction, trying to process your laughter. You didn’t seem scared or nervous that he had called you out, and he had to admit that he hadn’t completely thought through the consequences of asking you that question. 

“Who blabbed?” You asked, after your laughter had calmed down. 

“Henderson.” Eddie admitted and, in an attempt to ease any lingering tension he leaned forward to rest his elbow on the center console and held his chin in his hand as he looked at you. “That shrimp informed me that you found me so irresistible that you begged Steve to set you up with me.”

“Is that right?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Oh yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Told me all about how ever since Chris Morrison shot you down, you’ve been desperate to get my attention to get back at him.”

“So which is it, am I attracted to you or am I using you to get back at a guy I talked to once in high school years ago?” you asked. Eddie saw a glint in your eyes, the same one he’d seen that first night at the arcade when at the air hockey table. 

“Both are true.” Eddie continued to explain, a shit eating grin on his face. “You see, you were originally going to use me to get back at Chris, but then you saw me play guitar and instantly fell in love.”

“Damn, this sounds like the plot of a terrible movie.” you laughed. “So is this the part where I tell you that ‘It started out like that, but I swear it’s not like that anymore!’? Do I beg on my knees that my feelings for you are genuine, even though we’ve hung out a grand total of two-and-a-half times?”

Five times, but who’s counting? 

“What’s the half-time?” Eddie asked. 

“You ditched me at the arcade after I said I’d be right back.” you stated matter-of-factly. “I’m hoping it’s not a pattern where you start dropping off the face of the earth just when things start getting good.”

“Between you and me,” Eddie leaned in closer. “I thought Dustin was trying to set me up with Steve. Not you.” 

Cue more laughter from you as you threw your head back. “Are you kidding me?! Dustin makes me and Steve show up to an arcade and tries to force a meeting with you- and you thought you were supposed to be dating Steve?!” 

“Not dating!” Eddie clarified quickly. “You see, Steve and I only have one thing in common and that’s Dustin Henderson. Kid practically worships Steve. I thought he was trying to get us to be friends or something.”

“Oh my god, you thought Dustin was trying to hook his two dads up!” Your cootie catcher was now crumpled up in your hands, stained with tears from your laughing. “I’m a homewrecker!” 

Yeah, this really wasn’t going the way Eddie had expected it. 

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry.” you said, your laughter calming down into giggles instead. “Have I been reading this whole thing wrong? I mean, if you have more of an interest in Steve I could probably set that up. He’s only ever shown interest in girls but you have long hair and are pretty enough-”

“No.” Eddie said. “I don’t have an interest in Steve- you think I’m pretty?” How were you able to throw him off so easily? He could tell that if you had been able to join Hellfire you would have been a menace at his table.

“Extremely.” you said, your voice more sincere now. 

The two of you just stared at each other for a while and Eddie felt that same twisty feeling in his gut again. You thought he was pretty. That was good, right? Did you like pretty boys? You were pretty- he liked that a lot. 

“I...” Eddie started and then dug deep inside himself to find the words he wanted to use. “Prettier than Steve?” Those were not the words he wanted to say, but he said them anyway. 

“Steve is conventionally attractive but, as I said before, not my type.” you said. “I like guys with long hair anyway.”

Eddie really couldn’t tell if he was nailing this or blowing it. “So, what is your type?” 

“I’ll tell you mind if you tell me yours.” you countered. 

Had Eddie ever really thought about what his type was? Yeah, he’d had ill-advised crushes and had been attracted to various women in comics and tv but did he have a type? He tried to connect all the girls in his mind that he’d been with, trying to find a pattern. 

Someone who actually pays attention to me. That’s pretty sad, Eddie. He came to the conclusion. Yeah, aside from his disastrous kiss with Ronnie five years ago, every girl he’d been with had been the one to show interest first, and you were no exception. But had he actually had feelings for the others? Not really. Attraction? Yeah. Feelings? Well, with Paige he had been far too busy dealing with Corroded Coffin, his dad, and school to really decide what he felt for Paige. Any other small flings had been dead on arrival.

So why did he keep wanting to spend time with you?

“Don’t go spreading this around,” Eddie started. “But if I had to pick a type, it’d be She-Hulk.” 

“She-Hulk?” you mulled that over in your mind. “So tall, green, and angry?” 

“Strong-willed, and funny as shit.” Eddie corrected. 

“And green.”

“And green.” 

“If I had known that earlier I would have picked Kermit the Frog as my Halloween costume this year.” you teased. “I don’t have a character off the top of my head, but I like people who feel.. Real.”

Real. The word that Paige and him had used over and over in those two months. 

“What’s real to you?” 

“Not high school.” you said. “Someone who’s not afraid to exist and be themselves. I’m most attracted to anyone who can let go of their desperate ego and just have fun. High school was boring because everyone was so wrapped up in their own bs of looking cool that they didn’t do anything that they actually wanted to do. Shit, even I fell into that.”

Eddie didn’t want to ask if he was real to you. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for an answer. There were lots of times he wished that he wasn’t still in school, but this time really hit harder. He was starting to really like you, and yeah part of him was terrified of that. 

The two of you finished off the last of your food and Eddie shoved all the leftover trash into the brown bag and tossed it in the back so you wouldn’t be stepping on it. 

“I don’t know much about real anymore, but I think you’re pretty badass.” Eddie finally said. “I mean, you brought a wire hanger and a fake parrot to school for a costume. That’s pretty brave, even if your friends did talk you out of it.”

“I’m more mad that the parrot was stolen and used to annoy me than the lack of costume.” you said with a small laugh. “They weren’t even funny. They just kept repeating what I said. It was easier to just shut up at that point.” 

“Didn’t think to make them say anything embarrassing?” 

“Oh, I tried. But, jocks don’t know the art of a good ‘Duck Season, Rabbit Season’ gag. Anything embarrassing I said they’d just turn it around. I’d say ‘I pissed myself in gym.’ they’d reply with ‘you pissed yourself in gym’. No love for comedy.” You took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “If you’re going to be a bully, at least give me a good story to tell later, you know?”

“I once got slammed against a locker by a jock who called me ‘a myriad freak.” Eddie said. “To this day, I still don’t know what he was trying to mean by that.”

“See? At least that’s funny.” you said, and then. “Holy shit, we’ve gotten off topic.” 

“There was a topic?” Eddie leaned back on the seat again. 

“Yes, an important one that I was very interested in before we started talking about bullies and high school and She-Hulk.” you nodded. 

Talking to you was so easy that he hadn’t realized how many topics the two of you had blown through in a short amount of time. He looked at his watch real quick and realized it was creeping towards 11 pm now. Had the two of you really been talking that long?

“What topic was it?” 

“You flirting with me.” you said, your lips pulling back in a cheshire grin. “I’m pretty sure you were at least, before I became a homewrecker between you and Steve. Normally I’d hate to break up a happy family, but I might have to make an exception this one time.”

“Was I flirting?” Eddie tilted his head with his own grin. “I’m pretty sure I was just telling you that I thought Dustin was trying to make me be friends with Steve. If I had known that the shrimp was trying to introduce me to a cute girl-” He would have shot it down and canceled Side Quest Day- “I wouldn’t have left the way I did.”

“You think I’m cute?” 

“Extremely.” 

You nodded. “Alright, then it’s a good thing that we’re going on a date. I’m glad to know that I’m not coming between you and Steve.”

It was just past midnight when Eddie dropped you off at your apartment that night. This time when you leaned over the center console towards him, he didn’t freeze up or panic. Eddie let you hug him and he hugged you back, his cheeks growing hot momentarily when he felt your lips press against his cheek and he was able to breathe in your scent. 

“See you later, Eddie. Oh, and for the movie- I highly recommend dressing up.” you looked him up and down. “Actually, just wear what you’d normally wear. I think you’ll fit right in.” 

Eddie made a mental note to ask Rick later on what he was supposed to wear for this. 

“I’ll call you.” he said. “I promise. I mean it this time.”

“Not if I call you first, I have your number now. And worst case scenario, I know where you play.” you responded. “See you Tuesday, Eddie.” 

And with that you were gone again, leaving Eddie alone in the van feeling much better than the last time he had given you a ride. There were still questions he had. He still wanted to know why exactly everyone was wanting the two of them to meet again, and why you always so readily agreed to meet up with him. But those were questions for another day. 

“You had a missed call.” Wayne said as Eddie made his way into the trailer. “Didn’t leave a name or number. Said she’d call you back.”  

Eddie laughed and shook his head, guess you meant it when you said you’d call first. 

“Don’t stay up too late watching tv.” Eddie said before heading towards his bedroom. He once again found himself falling asleep with his copy of The Hobbit, the origami flower tucked safely in the back. 

Next Chapter

Ending note: This fic takes place during October 1985. Stephen King’s It did not come out until September 1986. I would like to ask you all politely to suspend your disbelief for the historical inaccuracy of a piece of dialogue that probably didn’t add much to the plot. If this horrible inaccuracy bothers you, please repeat to yourself “it’s just a fic, I should really just relax” which is what most of us should be doing anyway.

Dividers by: @strangergraphics

Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirl320 @perpetualmess @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3 @siriuslysmoking @pookiesnatcher @sky-full-0f-fl0wers @takemetoneverlandbabe @killjoynotes @maelibo

[luvtak]

corona borealis, lfx

✧ genre/tw rambly soul-crushing fluff, one sweet kiss!!, lovely as a pet-name, felix being an undeniably sweet bf like always and hearing a bedtime story <3 , largely unedited.

✧ w/c 952 <3

✧ a/n definitely not brought on by asea felix are you kidding... he's so lovely i just had to dawdle on about it somewhere so here you go! also, the thought of telling lix a bedtime story makes me wanna cry i hope i'm not alone. mwah!!

His arm is hot around you, keeping you safe from the scary silhouettes the shadows bring, and the night is breathing. A group of you had come to this little campground for a night away from the city lights, and while the two of you are alone you can still hear the rest of the boy’s nighttime sounds mixing in with crickets and critters. 

Your boyfriend stands beside you, listening intently as you tell him stories of the stars. Usually, these tales come from the comfort of your bed–rustling under covers and speaking into his mouth, sharing breath and love until you fall asleep, tracing false shapes in the plastic stars adorning your ceiling. But tonight, under the cover of a too cold darkness you tell him his bedtime stories beneath the sky. 

His face is tilted up, looking to see where your fingers are pointing, and the soft glint in his midnight eyes makes you pause. You’ve never known someone who looked so alive, someone with a sun for a soul. Felix has the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, alight with joy and senseless mischief–eyes wide with wonder at the constellations rising above him. 

Looking at him is dizzying; that feeling when you put your arms out and spin so fast you fall, a carousel going so round and round. You feel like flying, rising up like the moment Icarus’ wings took him up and away. 

Sometimes you wonder if it’s normal to feel like this… if everyone in love feels as though they are the creator, the inventor of such depraved desire and compassion for another. Surely, you must be the first–no one else had felt Felix’s fingertips on their skin or his lips sweetly drinking them in. How could someone say they’ve encountered a deeper love than this when your sweetheart is the embodiment of love, Venus as a boy. 

He turns to you in your moment of hesitation, smiling at you with all the care in the world. He loves you endlessly, burns for you and the soft caress of your affection. You can tell he doesn’t know why you stopped speaking, but he’s happy just the same–sharing your space and time, living in this moment with you. He remembers the first time you told him a story, speaking the words softly, he thinks he fell in love right there. 

“What’s that one?” he asks, catching your still raised hand in his own. 

“Oh, it's a crown, see?” you can see his eyes tracing the points, finding the shape that connects the points together. “It’s Ariadne’s wedding tiara, she was a princess of Crete who helped Theseus slay her brother the Minotaur Asterion. After they escaped the labyrinth, the prince left her on the Island of Naxos where she was found by Dionysus,” 

“He left her there?!” he gasps, your sweet boy forever confused by ill intentions, even in a story. 

“Yeah, he’s so lame, right? Anyway, after the God finds her on his island they fall in love and eventually marry… the crown was her wedding present, and after she died Dionysus flung it into the sky to honor her.”

Felix is quiet for a long time after this, inhaling the story with all the deference you deserve. After every narrative he takes his time to think about how he feels about it: the first time you finished a movie with him and he was quiet for fifteen minutes before he told you he liked it, he is like that now. Quietly staring at the sky, not ignoring you for his hand still made its path up and down your arm and you know if you called his name he’d answer, but you don’t want to interrupt his silent seeking. 

His life is noisy, spirited, and wonderful in all the ways a beautiful boy like him creates, your infatuation came in chaos–in mindless chatter and kitchen counter dance parties, but you fell in love in silence. In the moments when the world was quiet and all you could hear was his heartbeat, the drawling intake of his lungs filling and releasing. You adore his voice, but just existing with him, sharing the same air would be lovely enough for a lifetime. 

Finally, after minutes of staring ahead, he speaks–softly but with no less intensity, 

“If something were to happen to you I would make you into a constellation.” 

His eyes, bright with longing stare into yours, and you know he’s not being funny. He means it with all of him, means it with every atom of his being. 

Shocked and in love with him you laugh, bursting with fondness never hidden. “I love you too,” you say, for you know that's what he means. A love that spills from his veins whenever he thinks of you, so massive and consuming that the words aren’t enough. “I’d make a constellation for you too, it’d be the prettiest one in the whole sky.” 

When he moves closer to you, you can feel the smile radiating on his shadowed face–sweeping his grin over the plane of your cheekbones. Scorching your skin where his lips touch, a traveling forest fire of kisses. When his journey ends, sliding his mouth over yours the flames grow, getting taller and taller as his caress goes deeper. 

The night is chilly, but there is no need for a coat when his arms are around you–sweeping you into his embrace with only the stars to watch. 

“Lets go to bed, lovely” he muttered, breathing through open-mouthed kisses and shared smiles. Leading you to where your tent lies, to where stories and sleep await you–love and life and dreams filled with him, your constellation of a boy. 

© LUVTAK 2024

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Alright, I know some people think that Harry will be down bad/have a crush on Tom first or some thinks it'll be Tom; but I feel like it's neither? Hell, canonically, Harry is really emotionally stunted in that regard, and I just don't see him grovelling or reacting that way to anyone or not specifically to Tom? Especially not a Slytherin who is always busy with political climbing or things-that-don't-interest-Harry. I feel like they'll be so busy with their lives, that until and unless someone smack dabs them together (with their luck, let's be real something WILL smack dab them together) I do believe they'll be passing thoughts in each other's life.

Harry might end up thinking in the passing that Tom's really good looking because hell, I've done that; even when I'm not attracted to someone, I will always appreciate a face that I find pleasing. I don't think Harry will be that interested in Tom until and unless he does something that attracts him (ex: quidditch LMAO). And the same goes for Tom, for whom I have this headcanon; that it's not intelligence or say, defiance that would attract him but something more. More visceral, more ground shaking (something very small in others' eyes perhaps but not to Tom). Something that will make him stop and think and learn. Because he doesn't seem like a person who would just get a crush out of nowhere,but that doesn't mean he won't be attracted to power tho lmao knowing him, he most deffo would. (Also all this doesn't mean i mind obsessed Tom fics, bc vee obsessing over harry is canon so who's to say he doesn't end up doing the same lmao).

And also the headcanon of Harry not realizing Tom is suspicious? Guys, this is Harry Potter; Mr I doubt everything and anything. Mr I fought of imperio because it felt too good to be true and my mind went sus alert. You think Harry wouldn't see Tom Riddle being so nice and so perfect and won't feel wait a second? Give my boy some credit, I beg. We've been shown his sixth sense being right, over and over again. And he has trust issues.

So, food for thought? Neither of them would do the grovelling and pining (they might in some specific circumstances but not in your average fics where they are doing their things without crossing paths), rather they are gonna do the falling once faith crash them together so hard; they end up getting a concussion (love).

Also adding this: I feel like they will fall for each other, no matter what and it will be not be because of faith or whatever but rather because of how much they can learn from each other and how perfectly they fit together. It will not be some random feelings, no. It will be push and pull, it'll be you get me, it will be I know you'll always have my back and it will be all the broken furnitures because they're stubborn. It will be challenging each other to be the better version of themselves.

Tom, who knows he is the best; can teach Harry some things about CONFIDENCE and he could teach Harry that he's enough. Harry, who knows a thing or two about humility, can drag him back when Tom tries to be Icarus and he can ground Tom when it's needed. Harry and Tom can both challenge each other and learn from each other. Harry will never suffocate Tom, and neither will he let Tom suffocate him and to me that's what make their dynamic special. I love them, okay — I hate it when people go; yeah he will be the one who'll just pine away or there's no way he (one of them) will fall for him etc. Let them be down bad for each other. thanks. It's not a competition.

[theladyofthevarioussorrows]

Sunspots

Fandom: Sunshine (2007)

Pairing: Robert Capa x fem!reader

Word count: 6,400+

Characters: Robert Capa (Cillian Murphy), the rest of the cast is only mentioned.

Summary: Alternate universe (duh). Reader is the 9th crew member on the Icarus II as a second physicist assigned to assist Capa; she and Capa started dating at some point during the mission. But, in this story, the mission was successful, and everyone lived to make it back to Earth; the reader and Capa have been together ever since. The story takes place during a solar eclipse two or three years or so after they make it back to Earth, and as to be expected, Capa is excited about and fascinated by the eclipse, and so is the reader. He is set on making it a beautiful and romantic experience for her, especially since it was because of them that they can see it from Earth.

Warnings and additional tags: Fluff, smut (p in v), established relationship, mention of masturbation (m and f), the mission is successful in this (everyone makes it back to Earth in one piece), soft!dom Capa if you squint, Capa is slightly out of character in this (he's happy, he's deeply in love with the reader, and he's a little bit of a tease), mention of airsickness, reader-insert, reader-interactive, reader uses Capa's first name a few times, Capa calls the reader "sunshine" (I think it's fucking cute okay? Sue me. I'm just a girl.).

Notes: This is my first fic in literal years, and it is in two parts...both are in this post. I took a lot of liberties here. Necessary ones I think, but liberties nonetheless. I don’t know a lot about space and space travel. I know very little about it actually. However, I did do some research (if you could call it that) and tried to make it as accurate to the movie as I could. I had a ton of fun writing this! I miiiiiiiiight add to this later on, we'll see! I hope you guys like it!

--->Smut below the cut! NSFW, minors DO NOT INTERACT!<---

He had been planning this for months. Years, to be exact. Up until now, he was convinced that if he made it back in one piece, he would have been alone.

Capa had spent over a year cramped up on the Icarus II with eight other crew members. Kaneda, Searle, Trey, Corazon, and Cassie seemed to take him seriously a good chunk of the time, but stayed mostly neutral towards him. Harvey and Mace tended to direct a lot of their anger towards him. Whether it was out of jealousy, anxiety, or whatever else, it didn’t matter what their reasoning behind ganging up on the lead physicist was. Despite their unfounded animosities, it was Capa’s stellar bomb that would reignite the Sun and save humanity from extinction. Even though tensions were understandably high, Capa was the only person aboard the Icarus II who knew the gravity and the importance of the mission they were tasked with carrying out. In other words, he was the only one who knew how to operate the device to perform such a miracle. It was really no surprise to anyone that they put Capa in charge of the payload; he understood the mission better than anyone else on the ship, and it showed. Mace and Harvey began to back off once it finally began to sink in that their lives depended on Capa, and because of that, they should take it easy on him. Try to, at least.

Of all the other astronauts on the Icarus II, Capa felt the closest to Y/L/N, the second physicist, a young woman wise beyond her years who was assigned to work alongside Capa. She was a bit younger than him and the rest of the crew, but she proved to have a level-headed way of looking at things, while also presenting herself with an air of cautious optimism. Her grace and appreciation of everything each of the members were doing drew Capa to her, something that initially made him nervous. She captivated him in a mysterious but welcome way, and she was nowhere near immune to his unique allure and quiet charm.

She would watch him in awe as he spoke, completely entranced by his intelligence. Every word he said, every move he made…she felt it in her heart, and deep in her core. After watching her perform her duties effortlessly without ever faltering once, Capa began to feel at ease with her, and he caught himself quietly thanking the forces that be for pairing the two of them together.

It took a lot of effort on his part to keep his composure around her, and little did he know, it was just as difficult for her to behave herself around him. He knew he was falling for her, and he tried to keep it down as long as he possibly could, just in case his feelings for her weren’t reciprocated. Even though she did feel the same way about him, she made a valiant effort to stay focused on the tasks at hand, despite the ever-looming temptation.

She and Capa grew close after spending hours alone working out equations or going over calculations, and even just spending whatever free time they had talking about anything and everything, but nothing too wild or personal just yet. After one particularly restless night, she left her quarters and came out to the common area to find Capa at the table, his head in his hands. He noticed her and lifted his face to look at her, a faint smile escaping his lips.

“Oh, hey. I take it you couldn’t sleep either?” Capa asked her, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes as he shifted in his seat. She looked absolutely beautiful to him, still in her sleep clothes that fit her perfectly, the fabric slightly revealing but leaving just enough to the imagination, her hair down and slightly tousled. His gaze accidentally drifted to her thighs and hips, and he looked away suddenly, focusing back on her face. Capa was trying hard to keep his cool as she stood in front of him, fighting back thoughts of how much better those clothes would look on his bedroom floor. He struggled to push the thought away, and was internally failing miserably at it.

She also felt an all-too-familiar feeling between her legs seeing Capa sitting there in his gray tank top shirt, his hair falling on his shoulders in the sexiest way possible. She couldn’t help but notice his well-defined arms, and traced the path of his veins with her eyes. She tried not to stare at him, and swallowed before she answered. “Yeah, unfortunately. A lot to do, a lot to think about, you know?” she answered back as she walked over to the table to sit down next to him. “Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?”

He motioned for her to sit down, welcoming her. “Oh no, not at all, the company would be nice. And yes, you’re right, there’s tons to think about for sure.” He sat up straighter and turned to face her better as he cleared his throat quietly, still fighting with his wandering mind.

She let out a small breath of relief before she sat down. She turned toward him and continued to speak. “What’s on your mind?” she asked. Even though she was concerned and was aware he was under an insane amount of pressure, she knew Capa had everything under control, and she trusted his judgment completely. “We can talk about it if you’d like.”

He takes a deep breath before answering her. “I guess it’s just nerves. You and I have run the calculations countless times now, and we’re on the correct path with everything, the payload is operational and all that…but I’m still a bit anxious about it. It’s nothing crazy, but, you know…” his voice trails off before looking into her eyes. “I just hope everything goes to plan, that’s all. I don’t think we have any reason to think it won’t, but still.”

She looked back at Capa. “Oh believe me, I totally understand.” She moves closer to him in an attempt to reassure him as she rests her hand on his. “But hey, I have faith that we can get it done and all will be well with the universe.” She smiled. “You’re doing amazing, by the way.”

Capa began to blush as he smiled back, softly but warmly. “Aww, thanks. Just doing my job.” He turned his hand over under hers, holding it gently as their fingers tangled together. “You’re doing great, too. We’re so lucky to have you with us…with me.” His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t believe he said that out loud, but he didn’t bother trying to go back on it either. “I know I am.” His ocean blue eyes looked at her face, searching for any sign of discomfort or apprehension. He was relieved to find neither in her expression, just her smiling and blushing back at him.

She felt his words deep inside her as if a bomb on a much smaller scale was going off within her chest, and his words almost didn’t register with her right away. She smiled and blushed deeply before continuing. “That’s very sweet of you to say…thank you,” she answered. Despite the fact that they have spent a lot of time alone together in recent weeks, the tension in the room was noticeably thicker…so thick that you could slice it in the air with a scalpel. “I try my best. It’s all I can do, really.” She held onto his hand a little tighter as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

Capa broke the brief silence. “Hey…” he began, speaking warily but keeping his smile. “There’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you. I’ve been waiting for the right time, and I’m not quite sure when that would be or would have been…I hope you won’t take it the wrong way.”

She looked back at Capa, curious but cautious. “Sure, you can ask me anything. What’s up?” He returned the gentle squeeze of her hand and softly grazed his thumb over her knuckles.

Capa took a deep breath, and looked away from her for a split second before directing his focus right back on her. He could feel his face getting warmer, his fair-skinned face turning a faint pink. He hesitated for a beat before throwing caution to the wind to speak his mind.

“Well…you know how we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately? Not just on protocol and calculations and whatever else…but in general?” He continued to hold her gaze while he waited for her response.

“Yeah, of course. Why?” she asked as she looked at him, still smiling and holding his hand, butterflies forming in her stomach. “Is everything okay?” she asked, trying to gauge where the conversation is going without assuming anything or jumping to any conclusions.

“Oh yeah, everything is fine, all things considered. Amazing, actually…” He swallowed quietly before beginning again. “Um…I guess what I’m trying to say is…I feel closer to you than anyone else on the ship…” He paused and chuckled nervously before he continued to speak. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt such a connection to someone. You understand me in a way that everyone else doesn’t, and I really appreciate that. A lot.” He smiled and blushed deeper.

She smiled and blushed deeper as well. “I’m glad I can make you feel that way.” She moved closer to him. “I feel the same way about you.”

He reached his free hand up to gently brush some of her hair out of her face, softly caressing her cheek as he did it. “You’re just…I don’t know what the right word is. Exhilarating? Refreshing, maybe? I guess what I mean to say is…” he trailed off before cupping the side of her face with his hand while holding onto her hand with the other. “I’m falling for you. I mean…I have fallen for you. You’re on my mind constantly.” He gazed at her for a beat before continuing his thought. “I hope that doesn’t make anything weird or awkward.” He searched your face again for any opposition. Yet again, he didn’t find any of either.

Capa wasn’t one to divulge his deepest, darkest secrets to anyone, but it took every ounce of his being not to tell her that he’s seen her face behind his eyelids almost every night for the past two or so months, her name in his throat every time his need for her took over. He let it spill all over himself when he couldn’t sleep, which was unfortunately often. She wasn’t going to tell him that she touched herself to the thought of him any time the mood struck her either, soaking her fingers and her sheets beneath her. The two of them, separated only by a thin wall, had been breathing each other’s names as they reached completion for quite some time, and neither of them had shared any feelings for each other until today. As luck would have it, their feelings were mutual.

She leaned into his hand as she looked back at him. “It’s not weird, I promise…I’ve fallen for you too. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t.” She gazed at him, full of love and infatuation. “You’re all I think about.”

Capa looked back at her with the same intensity. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” he replied. He leaned in closer to her still, less than a foot of space between them. “What I really wanted to ask is…” he trailed off as he caressed her cheek and jawline. “I know this isn’t ideal, and I’m sorry about that…but I want this mission to continue with no regrets. I would hate myself forever if I never told you how I really feel about you. With that being said…would you be okay with us seeing where this goes?” His eyes never left hers as he confessed his love for her. “I want to be with you…if you’ll have me. Now, and, God willing, after the mission, too.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as she heard his words. “Of course I will. I want to be with you, too. I want nothing more than to be with you.”

Capa smiled and let out a sigh of relief before he spoke again. “Thank you…really. You mean everything to me, and I want you to know that…I’ll never let you forget it.” He closed any remaining distance between the two of them. He caressed her face tenderly once more. “May I…?”

She smiled at him with admiration and anticipation. “Yes, you may.”

Capa closed his eyes, leaned in, and kissed her gingerly at first, her eyes fluttering shut. She tilted her head as she kissed him back. Their kiss grew more and more passionate as seconds passed. He held her head gently and he ran his fingers through her hair as she wrapped her arms around his neck, their tongues dancing together softly. Capa slowly broke the kiss and opened his eyes. She opened hers as they pulled away, their pupils blown out with love and desire. He wrapped his arms around her as she pulled him into a tight hug, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” he breathed into her hair as he rubbed his hands on her back, inhaling her sweet scent. “Thank you…I mean it.” Capa blushed some more as he took another deep breath. “God, you make me feel like I’m a teenager again.”

“Me too…you’re absolutely lovely,” she replied, hugging him tighter. “You’re the man I’ve always dreamed of.” She broke the hug before looking into his icy blue eyes again. “Does this mean we’re together?” she asked, blushing and smiling.

Capa smiled back at her. “It does…is that okay with you?” He brushed some of her hair over her shoulder before caressing her face again.

“That is more than okay with me,” she answered. “So, what now?”

Capa blushed deeper as he smiled. “Come here…” He stood up from the table and held his hand out for her to take. She accepted his hand and stood up as he put his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his plush lips met hers again, kissing her with more intensity and urgency than he had before. She matched his passion as she returned his kiss, tangling her fingers in his long, dark, soft hair.

Noticing her need for him in her movements, Capa moved his kisses from her lips to her chin and jawline, then down along her neck and collarbone, immediately appreciating her reaction as she moaned quietly, tugging on his gray sleeveless shirt. She mused to herself about how effortlessly gorgeous he looked in it again, biting her lip at the thought, instantly reminded of all those nights she fantasized about taking it off of him. Lost in lustful longing, she struggled to get the words out.

“How did you know that I…maybe…we should probably…go somewhere else…” she whispered in between heavy breaths and soft whimpers. “Someone might wonder…what if someone wakes up and…” This is the first time he’d ever kissed her, and he already figured out one of the things that drives her crazy, knocking the air out of her lungs without trying to.

Capa chuckled slyly as he softly shushed her before he agreed. “A wild guess? But yeah…good call.” He gently pulled her with him towards his small bedroom. “We’ll deal with everyone else later. You’re all that matters to me right now.” He opened his door and let her in before shutting it behind him and locking the two of them inside. He looked at her with concern. “Are you okay with this? We don’t have to…you know…if you don’t want to…” His voice was low and seductive as he moved his hands under her shirt, tracing the curve of her spine and her shoulder blades with his fingers.

She spoke as he trailed off. “Yes, I want to…I want you. I’m sure about this. Are you?” she answered, looking back at him lovingly.

“As sure as I’m alive,” Capa answered, smiling back at her with just as much love. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” He kissed her some more before gently pushing her backwards onto his bed and positioned himself between her spread legs as he laid her down.

They spent the rest of the night making love to each other, over and over, drawing out every single moment to make it last as long as possible, and after at least a few hours, they wore each other out completely. Their first entanglement started out slow and sensual until their hunger for each other consumed them. They tried their absolute hardest to keep the noise to a minimum, but that became increasingly difficult for the both of them as their makeout heated up and clothes started to fall away.

Capa was gentle with her for their first time having sex, leaving no part of her untouched or unkissed, committing every inch of her skin to memory as if it was their last night alive. As far as he was aware, the woman underneath him was nothing short of a goddess. She gladly returned the favor, marveling at his incredible beauty. She was completely amazed at how he looked as if he was carved from stone, his whole body breathtakingly perfect to her. As far as they were concerned, it very well could have been their final night together. Neither of them were worried about that now, focusing solely on each other.

She was tight like a vice and sopping wet around him, and he stretched her so deliciously that he would whisper his praises in her ear, encouraging her. Capa made it a habit to cover her mouth as he took her, something she learned to absolutely lose her mind over. If he wasn’t covering her mouth as he brought her to climax, he would make sure to devour her with hot kisses as she contracted around him, bringing his orgasm forth soon after. As much as he would have loved for her to be as loud as she possibly could, Capa found it incredibly sexy and oddly endearing when she struggled to stay quiet under him, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he poured himself into her.

She was able to rile Capa up in all the best ways possible as well, and he too had some difficulty trying to keep his voice down. One round turned into two, and then three…and on and on until both of them were sore and exhausted. Once they were able to catch their breath, Capa would make sure he didn’t wreck her too much, and if he did, he’d kiss it all away, and she would follow suit. “I love you” were three little words that neither of them could ever get sick of saying or hearing from the other.

After all of their daily tasks were taken care of for the day, every night on the Icarus II thereafter was spent in each other’s arms, whether in Capa’s bed or hers. On nights when they weren’t ravishing each other half to death with reckless abandon, she and Capa would lay in bed together and talk about whatever came to mind until they fell asleep tangled up in each other. She and Capa were able to keep their new relationship a secret for about a week maximum before the crew found out on their own. They were delighted to discover that none of the rest of the crew were surprised that they ended up together. There was initially some concern, but ultimately the crew accepted it and let it continue, because they knew that these moments the crew had together could be the last they have with anyone, so who cares if two of the crew members fell in love?

Mace ribbed Capa about his enthusiastic nightly activities with Y/L/N, and it was nice that he wasn’t fighting with him for once. It was hard for him to believe that Capa, the usually soft-spoken physicist, had that effect on Y/L/N. He even mentioned to Cassie that he has never seen Capa smile as much as he did now, and Cassie added that Y/L/N had a glow about her. For someone as quiet and reserved as Capa, Mace found it amusing that his new girlfriend could bring him out of his shell like that, and although he would never admit it, he was glad that it was Y/L/N.

Capa was bashful about discussing his relationship with Y/L/N to the others, shying away from the sexual aspect, but he had no issue praising her and giving her credit when it was due. It was obvious that he was absolutely head over heels for Y/L/N, and she blushed anytime the crew teased her or tried to get her to reveal any juicy details about their rendezvous behind closed cabin doors. They were in love, and it brought a new positive energy to the rest of the mission. Kaneda was thankful that everyone seemed to be getting along better and in good spirits, while Trey and Harvey were indifferent towards the two physicists becoming a couple, but thrilled for them nonetheless.

Searle, being a doctor, wasn’t really concerned with it, but was also excited for them. He pretended not to notice the love marks Capa bit into Y/L/N’s neck or the faint scratches she had left on Capa’s shoulders, and especially tried to ignore the way Y/L/N would squirm slightly when she sat down. Corazon, happily content that a relationship so strong could come from something so hellish, reminded everyone that they had a surplus of oxygen coming from the garden due to overgrowth. The crew would still have more than enough oxygen to go around, whether Capa and Y/L/N were “fucking like rabbits” or not, as Mace put it.

After a few weeks of calculations, trajectory adjustments, and protocols during the day and exploring each other and falling in love more and more at night, Capa led the rest of the crew to carry out the mission successfully. Capa made sure everything was done exactly to plan, and he didn’t do anything without his girl by his side, from the ignition of the bomb all the way through the terrifying trek back to Earth.

It didn’t matter how many times the crew had practiced and prepared for the descent back to solid ground, the airsickness still hit Y/L/N the hardest. It was the part of being an astronaut she hated the most, and she never quite got used to it. Capa was well aware of this having seen her go through it during their zero-gravity training, and he felt bad that it was hard on her. He was one of the lucky ones who could handle it well; the worst of it for him was a slight change in equilibrium that left him briefly lightheaded. But now he took care of her lovingly, holding her hair out of the way and rubbing her back as the nausea won the battle against her, never leaving her side until he knew she was okay.

She was embarrassed about it as it was happening, not wanting anyone to see her so violently ill, but was eventually able to joke about it once the sick, spinning feeling dissipated. All of that initial anxiety melted away knowing her boyfriend was right there beside her, making sure she felt well enough before taking care of any other necessary tasks. He reassured her that a lot of people are really sensitive to it, and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. In an attempt to make light of the situation, Capa reminded her that the reduced-gravity aircraft they used during their weightlessness training was called the “Vomit Comet” for a reason.

As the Icarus II landed, the crew was met with a massive crowd of people cheering them on, congratulating them on their historic achievement, while also mourning the deaths of the previous Icarus crew. Once everyone was back to their normal selves, or as close to it as possible, Cassie, Mace, Corazon, Trey, Searle, Harvey, and Kaneda all went back to their homes in various places around the world.

Meanwhile, Capa and Y/L/N settled down somewhere in the halfway point between their hometowns, close enough to Capa’s sister and her kids in one direction, and Y/L/N’s family in the other. They had found themselves a nice house outside of the city, and the two built their own small planetarium in their backyard together. Their two-story home was modest but just enough for them; not too small, but not too big either. It was there that they stayed happily for the next couple of years.

______________________________________________________________

It was a warm April day, but to Capa, it wasn’t just any typical day. Today was special.

The solar eclipse was happening today. He hadn’t seen an eclipse on Earth in many years. He has seen a few eclipses from the vantage point of the Icarus II in space, but it’s been a long time since he’s experienced one from the ground, and it just so happened that the path of totality was going right over his house he shared with his girlfriend, Y/L/N.

Of course, being a physicist and an astronaut, he knew the date and time of when the Moon was supposed to pass in front of the Sun ahead of time -- months, maybe years in advance -- and he knew he wanted to experience it with the love of his life. Even more than that, he wanted to make the experience as beautiful and as romantic as he possibly could. It was because of the couple and the rest of the Icarus II crew that they were able to view such a remarkable thing from Earth after all.

While Y/L/N was away for a few hours finishing a few last-minute errands, Capa was busy in their backyard in the midday spring air, setting up a massive telescope and a camera. Next to his setup, he spread out a large blanket on the grass, and on it he set a bottle of wine and two glasses. As he was getting the angle of the telescope just right and setting the time lapse to the correct adjustments on the camera, he thought he heard Y/L/N’s car pull into their driveway. As she got out of the car, she looked around for him, but didn’t see him right away.

“Sweetheart, I’m home!” she called out. She waited a second before calling out for him again. “Robert? Honey?”

“I’m in the backyard, baby,” he called back to her. “I’ll be right there.” Capa walked over to her to help her carry the bags into the house. He helped her put the groceries away in the kitchen, and once everything had been taken in and put away, he pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her deeply, leaving her breathless. She kissed him back, returning his intensity as she held onto his shoulders. She wobbled a little, but Capa held onto her tight, not letting her fall. He gently broke the kiss, his arms still around her.

“Welcome home, sunshine,” Capa said, his eyes full of love. “I was getting nervous for a second there.”

A little dizzy from his kiss, she giggled before answering. “I’m sorry, sweetheart…traffic was backed up, but I made it.” She kissed him again as she hugged him. “How much time do we have until everything goes dark?”

Capa returned the kiss, gently running his hands up and down her back. “We have about half an hour or so before we can see anything happen.” He smiled at her as he played with her hair lovingly. “Might as well head outside so we don’t miss anything cool…what do you think, angel?”

She blushed as she leaned into his touch. “Sure, hun. Let’s go.” She took his hand as he led her outside to their backyard. He helped her sit down on the blanket he put out for them before sitting down next to her. Her eyes widened at the romantic scene he had created for the two of them, the telescope and the camera, as well as the bottle of wine and glasses, and the string lights he attached to the sides of their little planetarium.

He opened the bottle and poured the wine into a glass and handed it to her, before doing the same for himself. “Here you go, my love,” he said as he handed the glass to her.

She gently took the glass from him and smiled. “Thank you, sweetheart.” They tapped their glasses together before they each took a sip. “God, baby, this is really beautiful,” she said, her voice wavering slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her forehead tenderly. “Not nearly as beautiful as you are,” he said as he smiled back, wrapping his arm around her. “I love you so much. Forever and always.” he said as he planted another small kiss on the top of her head.

“I love you too. So much. With my whole heart.” she replied, nuzzling up closer to him.

Capa leaned over to kiss her on the lips one more time. “Shouldn’t be too much longer…it’s getting kinda dark, and it’s quiet all of a sudden.” He moved slightly to look through the telescope lens. “We’re really close now, I think.” He pulled away and moved the lens towards her. “Here, look at this…it reminds me of all those eclipses you and I used to watch together on the ship, just smaller and farther away.”

She looked through the lens and smiled. “I’ll never get tired of looking at things like this,” she said as the sky started to dim. “It’s always so breathtaking to see.”

While she was distracted by looking at the interstellar image in the eyepiece of the telescope, he stood up and reached into his pocket to pull out an engagement ring with a sunstone gem encrusted in the center, and hid it inside his hand. The sky was getting darker still, and the Moon was almost completely covering the Sun.

“Y/F/N?” he asked as he stood in front of her.

She pulled away from the telescope, and Capa helped her to her feet with his free hand. “Yes, Robert?” she asked as the Moon moved closer to blocking the Sun. “What is it?” The sky turned pitch black except for the light coming from the Sun beginning to hide behind the Moon.

He swallowed as he chose his words carefully. “You mean the world to me, Y/F/N. You are my world. Being with you has made me the happiest man on Earth.” He slowly dropped down to one knee in front of her, causing her to gasp as he took her left hand in both of his. “I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life right here with you. Will you marry me?” he asked gently and lovingly as tears started to form in his eyes.

She trembled and started to cry tears of joy. “Oh my God…yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”

Tears started to fall down his cheeks as he slipped the ring onto her finger. He stood back up and took her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back, his tears mixing with hers. Overhead, the Sun appeared as a white circle in the sky, while the string lights glimmered behind them in the darkness caused by the eclipse.

“I love you, sunshine. More than anything else in the universe.” Capa said as he gently wiped away the tears from her face. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. As they held each other, the sky began to brighten back up. He pulled away from the hug to kiss her deeply again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart. So much. More than words can ever say.” she replied, kissing away his tears. “I can’t wait to be your wife.”

Capa blushed. “And I can’t wait to be your husband.” He kissed her back, holding her tightly in silence for a bit before speaking again. “So how was that? Pretty awesome, huh?”

She giggled and blushed. “Everything was amazing! Absolutely beautiful! I’m the luckiest woman on the planet to have you.” She kissed his cheek as she held him close.

Capa smiled and blushed as well. “Good, I’m glad. And I’m the luckiest man on the planet to have you, too.” He kissed her back with a little bit more passion than before. “I was thinking…”

She kissed him back, matching his intensity. “Oh? Thinking about what?” she asked, looking into his beautiful cobalt blue eyes.

“I was thinking that maybe we can go to bed early tonight…you know, to celebrate,” he said with an air of seduction in his voice. “And we don’t have anything going on tomorrow…” He kissed her again, this time biting her bottom lip softly and tugging on it with his teeth before letting it go, eliciting a small moan from her.

She kissed him back, feeling a wet warmth pool between her thighs as he ran his hands up and down her body. She moaned breathlessly before speaking. “Yeah? And how should we do that?”

Capa smiled wickedly as he began to kiss her jawline and collarbone before leaving a lingering kiss where her neck meets her shoulder. “Well, I could start there…”

She moaned a little louder. “My God…you know what happens when you do that…” she breathed as he continued to tease her.

Capa laughed slyly. “Believe me, I’m well aware of what happens, and I’ll never get sick of it. What do you say we go upstairs…” he trailed off before kissing her neck again, his teeth lightly scraping against her collarbone. “I’ve spent enough time exploring the sky when I’d much rather spend all night exploring my future wife,” he murmured, his lips against hers. “And every night after that.”

She swooned at his words, feeling weak at the knees in his arms. “Anything you say, baby,” she whispered. “I’m all yours. Forever.”

“Forever with you sounds pretty fantastic to me,” he said, full of desire for her. Wasting no time at all, Capa took her by the hand and led her into the house. “I’ll be right back, babe. I’ll meet you in the bedroom in a minute,” he said, his voice dripping with lustful need. She didn’t need him to tell her twice as she started up the stairs, but not before he playfully swatted her on the ass on her way up, making her giggle. He practically ran out to bring everything they had left outside into the house as fast as he could, shutting the door behind him with a soft slam when he came back in. He threw the blanket on a chair, leaned the telescope against the wall, set the camera down next to it, and brought the bottle of wine and the two glasses upstairs with him. He entered their bedroom and put everything in his hands on the nightstand.

Capa saw his now-fiancée sitting on the edge of their bed, eagerly waiting for him. “Took you long enough,” she teased him as she bit her lip looking at him. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever come back.” Her voice was sultry as she shifted on their mattress.

Blushing, Capa rolled his eyes in mock annoyance as he smiled, and teased her right back. “I was gone maybe two seconds max…you want me that bad already, huh?” She nodded as he took her into his arms again, kissing her deeply as he pulled her closer. Kneeling on the mattress in front of him as he stood at the edge of the bed, she returned his kisses as she lifted his shirt up and over his head before tossing it to the floor. “Good, because I need to have you right now,” he said, his excitement becoming nearly painful. Capa then started to undo the buttons of her shirt, fumbling with them slightly before giving in. He ripped it clear off of her shoulders, sending buttons flying in all directions, causing her to gasp and giggle in delight. He dragged her ruined shirt off of her shoulders and threw it behind him as he pulled one of the straps of her bra down to kiss her collarbone.

“You asked for it, love…I told you, you know what happens when you kiss me and bite me like that.” She kissed him again as she started to unbuckle his belt. “I think you know by now I can’t behave when you torture me.” She shot him a sexy wink before kissing him again. His breath caught in his throat as she tore his belt from around his hips and threw it to the floor to join his shirt.

“Torture, huh? Are you sure? Because something tells me you enjoy it. Quite a lot.” His voice had a sensual danger about it, and it thrilled her. He held her chin with his forefinger and thumb before dropping his voice to a velvety whisper. “And yes, I know exactly what happens. I want to see how much you can take. I also happen to know each and every thing that drives you wild.” He unhooked her bra with his free hand and took it off of her so slowly that she trembled. “See? Just like that.”

Thank you for reading! I hope you guys liked it, and if you did, I'd be happy to hear your thoughts and my requests are open! <3

[m0rninglatte]

No one:

The whole vibe change between the Sherberts:

Im a speedy boi with a casual scar across my chest don't worry bout it and I'm gonna avoid the topic of family. I also have a feather thats not mine but dont pay attention to it.Anyway- look at my pigeons and their lil hats we do the mail! :]

Welcome to curses and queers, I'm a simp for a plant lady, I make potions and do a bit of crime here and there, what can I do for you

Robot la- Oh. No more Robot lad I guess- I'm sure they'll come back and be fine

*Just insert Slimecicles BG3 character (Xiv) whole intro for Icarus*

I'm a friendly crab who got a happy ending but not before I had a panic attack about sleeping for 2 months because I promised a friend I would be there for him and one of my arms got replaced with a robot arm but I'm with my family now!

I'm just a regular engineer navigator who's not sus but sometimes I can be sus and do be committing murder also my dad just sends me on these weird ass jobs- uhm HES PAYING ME IN FUTURE FATHERLY LOVE OK

I'm an asshole sure but I'm also a coyote and I live in a fun world with fun games to play where I can just be "in the clear" and slay

Was on a raft with the crew doing the navigating, died and now I'm ghost wondering around other rafts

Just a regular skyrite with a tower and lives with my brother nothing bout that's sus....

Lonely elf guy who's just happy to have their life back to normal

Screw a panicking 17 year old infront of me, I want to play bed wars and kick ass in general.

Lightning in me bones,angsty boy kisser, casually gets possessed by a storm.

Angsty dimensional lad who just wanted to see their brother again who does nothing wrong

Just a regular queer streamer and a flim major making this silly lil multiverse thing will be fine! Nothing can aff- OH FOR FUCK SAKES

[librarycards]

do you have any resources or advice on how to help people who have manic episodes or who could possibly harm others according to antipsych principles? my friend diagnosed with bipolar disorder has been looking into checking themself into a hospital, and their home situation isn’t the best though their dad somewhat tries to be supportive, but i wonder what other options there are. the most i can do is offer some emotional support and give advice since i live too far away to be of much help otherwise. sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

hello, and thanks for your patience on my response - this week has been busy and i'm only just now getting to asks!

here is an excellent piece by Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkhulu on providing support for comrades in crisis, many of these tips are very applicable to distance-relationships too! bipolar comrades/others who have manic episodes are also welcome and very encouraged to reply and share what kinds of supports work best for them.

There are also a series of free zines/books by the Fireweed Collective (FKA the Icarus Project), particularly Navigating The Space Between Brilliance And Madness: A Reader & Roadmap Of Bipolar Worlds. This is a great way to learn more about a variety of bipolar experiences to better contextualize your friend's.

here are some tips based on personal experience being close to multiple people with bipolar, while not being bipolar myself:

create balance within yourself + project it - it's tempting to get yourself wrapped up in others' big feelings, especially if they trigger you. but it's crucially important to maintain a (porous!) barrier between you and your friend, both as a way of maintaining your own peace and providing something sturdy for them to lean on. this means taking what they say/do in the midst of crisis and placing it "beside" your own feelings, rather than integrating it and responding viscerally in the moment.

neither "reality checking" nor "reality confirming". this is tricky. it's pointless to tell someone "you're wrong, you can't do that, etc." when they're experiencing a different reality than you. it is also harmful to encourage someone to act on beliefs that are not actually aligned with their values, but instead the result of a state of crisis. i try to use phrases like "that sounds ___," "that must be ____," "i can see how you'd feel ____" and similar, both to affirm their own lived experience and to avoid reifying it as objective truth.

know when to step away. mania is draining for literally everyone involved, and what people do to their loved ones in the midst of a manic episode can be incredibly harmful, even if occurring alongside grand gestures of generosity, productivity, etc. you are not your friend's keeper, and your feelings and well-being matter just as much as theirs. do you both have mutual friends you can tap into to provide support when you're burnt out? these friends might also be able to offer some strategies that you or i haven't thought of. it's important to say that this support shouldn't be constant "did you use substances today" "did you drive recklessly today" other surveillance type stuff. try to maintain a normal rhythm to your conversations, and when something that makes you go ??? comes up, try framing your response as a question. "i'm going to finish writing and editing my novel today and start two new books and apply for this and that grant" - you could say, "that's a ton of stuff. why do you need to do it all today?" this creates space for other possibilities without forcing it.

your friend doesn't need advice right now, they need support! the person who needs advice, i think, is your friend's dad. are you and him directly in touch, and is there any way that you could get in touch with him? since you're online, i don't know the details here; it may work best when your friend is no longer manic and you two can speak frankly about how best to support them. i do suggest making a crisis plan with him/whoever they're close to irl.

I hope this is somewhat helpful!

[pockyteau]

JUST LIKE ICARUS

✩ a chishiya x reader where the sun is a lot closer to him than he realised.

"Do you know the story of Icarus?"

The question catches Chishiya off guard. He turns to you inquisitively, but you are already looking elsewhere; you stretch your arms out behind your head lazily, leaning back against the side of your bed. The sunlight that filled the room was enough to make one drowsy with all its warmth, little specks of light scuttling across the ground like golden ants.

It's always weirdly sunny, when you're around.

"I'm familiar with it, yes." Chishiya says mildly. He briefly wonders whether he should've admitted to it - while it was true he had read the book, it had been completely unintentional. He'd picked up an old paperback of the book in a library once, under the impression that the gold lettering on the cover meant the book held a multitude of literary treasures. On that day, Chishiya learnt two things: that Icarus was an idiot, and that he should never trust the gold lettering on books.

He had come to dislike the story since.

"Really? You know it?" You look at him with wide eyes, your earlier drowsiness thrown off. The expression you are making is glowing with excitement, and he feels as if he should de-escalate the situation before you get any ideas. 

"I didn't like it much," he warns. Much to Chishiya's distaste, he had come to know that you were a lover of storybooks, of which he never had much patience for. You blink, falling back against your bed with an audible thump. 

"But why not?" You ask, tilting your head to the side. From your lips the question sounds incredulous; it's almost as if you had, in fact, greatly enjoyed the story of Icarus.

Chishiya frowns. He had initially expected you to dislike it too, since the story ended in Icarus' death and you were the greatest lover of happy endings he'd ever met. After tuning many of them out, he had come to know that your personal favourite tales were the ones about love - sappy ones of sweetness and longing that spanned over many lifetimes. He didn't care much for them either, though they wouldn't have bothered him nearly as much if you didn't insist on telling him every single one. So, with that in mind, what reason could you have for liking this tale? 

"Icarus dug his own grave," Chishiya shrugs. "If he'd just been careful, he would've lived. He should've listened to the advice he was given."

You snort. "That's why you don't like it? You and Icarus are one in the same, then," you point out. "You never listen either."

It appears you've noticed him tuning you out. 

"Well," Chishiya muses, "I can afford not to." He turns his head to shoot you a lazy grin. "The same cannot be said for Icarus."

You press your lips together. "Wow, you are awful," you comment, though Chishiya can tell by the way your shoulders shake gently that you are trying not to laugh. Your attempt to stifle your laughter ends up in vain when your voice disappears towards the end of your statement, dipping your head forward to conceal the grin adorning your face. 

Chishiya finds he is smiling before he can stop himself - it's easy to make you laugh. He knows that if you lifted your head, he would see the crinkles under your eyes.

He allows you a moment to compose yourself before asking a question of his own. "But why do you like it?" he says, careful to keep the curiosity out of his voice. You raise your head when he speaks, traces of laughter still painting your lips. "The Icarus story, I mean. Since he dies in the end, I would've thought you'd hate it."

The question seems to surprise you. You frown, your brows drawing together. "Well, I wouldn't say that I like it, exactly," you say thoughtfully. "But it does have its charm. Icarus was happy for a little while." You muse. "Maybe being careless was worth it for him." 

"That's ridiculous," Chishiya snorts. Icarus was happy for no less than what, five seconds? No form of death could be worth that. Now he doesn't know why he asked in the first place, because of course you would supply him with an answer like that. "He still died."

"Hey, what've you got against Icarus?" You tease, arms folded as you lean back against the side of your bed. "To be honest, I think his story is a little sad. He was just glad to be in the sun."

"Mm," Chishiya makes a noncommittal noise in response, knowing that if he were to give a full answer it would probably be rather scathing. You smile at this, giving him a little nudge. 

"Okay, not a fan of Icarus," you say. Your voice is soft, tinted with amusement. Huh. Chishiya feels a small ache hatch in the centre of his chest - it pricked him in a strange way to see your smile as you spoke. You carry on, unaware of the sudden pain in his chest, that same smile still on your face. "Got it. Ah! Do you know Psyche and Eros? You have to have heard of them! Their love story is unrivaled." 

Chishiya is vaguely aware of how he shakes his head, which causes you to clutch at your chest in mock horror. You then launch into your rendition of Psyche and Eros' romance, eyes shining. It seemed that unlike Icarus, Psyche and Eros got their happy ever after; their love was free to last forever, unbound by the constraints of mortal life once Psyche was immortalised. 

Of course, this was the ringer for you -  a love that lasted forever. Chishiya doesn't believe in forever; he knows everything must eventually come to an end. Perhaps that was where the two of you differed the most; you firmly believed in forever, simply because you insisted that things such as love could transcend all boundaries, resist the tests of time. 

He supposes this should only be expected from someone who pitied Icarus, for whom Chishiya has no sympathy for. Despite how careless he may seem to you, him and the boy with the wax wings are nothing alike, because Chishiya is careful. He takes care not to let his mind wander when he sets his gaze on the sparkle in your eyes, the curve of your lips. He takes care not to let the sunlit vision of you sink too deep beneath the surface of his mind. Chishiya is careful, always careful. He knows that the repercussions of getting comfortable with you could cost him everything.

Even without you telling him, he knows the story of Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. 

-

Today you are telling him about something new - probably another love story, judging by the delight in your voice. 

It's sunny again. Chishiya is sitting with his back against the wall of your room, basking in the golden sunlight that streams through your window. The atmosphere is peaceful, calm. The way Chishiya likes it. 

He leans his head forward slightly to stretch the stiffness out of it; he had long since stopped listening to you, and was now trying to figure out how to a rig a flamethrower. And every other step to making a flamethrower, really. It would be a lot easier to dance that risky line between life and death with one, and Chishiya intends to use it as his ticket out of this poolside hotel. He dreams of somewhere he doesn't have to attend meetings on the whim of an obnoxious man in sunglasses.

But where would he get the materials? If he were to ask someone like Ann for spare flamethrowing parts, he would most likely be bombarded with questions. Ann was terrifying in her own right, with her ability to speak so fast. It's a dilemma, certainly. Perhaps he could ask the handyman, Tatta, instead.

He doesn't seem like the type to ask what Chishiya would use them for, and Chishiya believes that is a quality more people should have. 

"Chishiya?"

He lifts his head at your mention of his name. "Hm?"

You grin. Chishiya feels that little ache between his ribs again, filling in the empty space between his heart and his bones. It seems to be spreading, which he tries not to find concerning. 

It's probably nothing. 

"You weren't listening again, were you?" you chide, but you don't seem to mind. The teasing look on your face makes that plain enough.  

Chishiya sees no need to lie. "I was not."

"Of course not," you sigh dramatically, flopping down to sit next to him. He smirks at you, knowing that you would roll your eyes in response. He knows you, predicting the way your head tilts away from him slightly, covering a quiet laugh. "Actually, I don't know why I'm surprised. Do you even listen to all those executive meetings you go to?"  

Chishiya grins, which means the obvious answer is no - it's a close call between who he respects less, the Hatter or the mournful looking worm he'd spotted on his way back from a game. In fact, he might've even lent the worm an ear if it had deigned to speak - it probably had more worthwhile things to say than the Beach's number one.   

You seem to be able to follow his train of thought. "I guess not," you say, a small laugh escaping your lips. 

He finds himself thinking that the sound of it is rather nice.

Without warning you lean in closer to Chishiya and for a moment his mind goes blank, but all you do is reach out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. "Here," your fingers brush lightly against the side of his face as you do so, the warmth of your skin lingering on his jaw even though the touch was only a brief one. "Now you'll be able to hear me better, hm?"

Chishiya snorts. His eyes flick over to you, that smile he wished wouldn't affect him so much dancing on your lips. Perhaps he should untuck the strand of hair from behind his ear again, just to annoy you. "There's a difference between wanting to listen and being able to listen."

"Hey-" you open your mouth to protest, but close it just as quickly. Chishiya is all but ready to give you a smug look, anticipating the way you would groan and pretend not to laugh - but then you lean in even closer, inspecting his face with curious eyes. He raises his brows in question. He doesn't like how your eyes have widened, mystified, as they rest just below his own eye level.

"What is it?" He frowns.

"You have a beauty mark!" You say, a delighted smile spreading across your lips. "I never noticed! Why didn't you tell me?"

Chishiya's brow furrows. He has to stifle the sudden urge to reach up and cover the little mark below his left eye. Why would he tell you? Perhaps he had fallen into the fool's trap of assuming you had working eyes, since the mark was, you know, on his face. "It must have slipped my mind," he says dryly. 

Unfortunately, you take no notice of his wry tone. "It's so cute!" you exclaim. You look dangerously close to clapping your hands in joy, and you are still much too close to Chishiya. He feels the warmth on his skin beginning to burn as you reach out a finger to lightly tap the mark under his eye. "Oh! that reminds me - did I ever tell you the story? Beauty marks are where you were kissed the most in your past life."

Chishiya brushes your hand away from his face. "I can't say I've heard that one before," he says, keeping his tone even. He hopes it will be enough to stop the liquid gold in his chest from spreading.

"I thought as much," you hum, reaching out to poke the mark under his eye again, grinning when he swats you away. "Hey, that means you were kissed there a lot. Isn't that so sweet? You must have been really loved in your past life."

Chishiya's frown deepens. Here is your precious everlasting love again. 

It's no secret that he doesn't believe in things like this; he knew better than most that human hearts were feeble things, easily stopped. As the vessel of love, didn't that show how not even the greatest love could last longer than the average human lifespan? 

"Is that so." He says flatly. The mark below his eye was merely a fixation of his face, nothing more. 

Your eyes dart over his unsmiling expression, the corners of your lips still turned up. "It's okay, I know you don't believe in things like that," you say mildly, eyes sparkling. Chishiya's gaze flickers; he didn't realise you had become so apt at predicting his thoughts. 

"You're right. I don't."

You merely hum again in response before falling silent, as if in thought. In the hush Chishiya allows his gaze to wander to you momentarily; it comes to rest on the pensive crease in your forehead, angling lower to where golden shapes are being cast over your face by the sunlight coming through the window. 

He's not sure if he can remember a time where you haven't been touched by light. 

"Ah!" You do clap your hands now, and Chishiya eyes you in apprehension. That can't mean anything good. "Alright. Why don't we test something out?" 

"Test?" Chishiya squints at you for a moment to accentuate his reluctance. "And what would that be?" 

"Well...why don't we give you a new beauty mark?" You smile. "You don't believe me, so I'll prove you wrong." 

Chishiya has to bite back his immediate scorn. What purpose would that serve? It's not as if you would be able to check if your theory worked, anyway. Even if you were right, neither of you would know what had conspired in this room, dappled in sunlight, in your next life.

He's already forming the word "no" in his throat, well aware that he shouldn't indulge you - but there are little crinkles under your eyes, the look of pure joy you usually wear when telling him your precious stories. Why were you so happy about his beauty mark, he wonders, and why hasn't the ache stopped by now? He should shut you down now, before this gets out of hand.

It is with these resolute thoughts that for some unfathomable, fanatical reason, Chishiya opens his mouth to find the words "do whatever you want," escaping off the tip of his tongue.

Just like that, the precarious nature he had built up around you is dealt its first blow when your face lights up with a pleasant surprise. 

"Really?" you say, so tentatively that the pull in his chest becomes so strong it almost hurts. Chishiya has to pull himself together to shrug in indifference. But it's fine. This is but a small allowance, one he will only let slide once. 

He still has to be careful. 

You delicately put both hands on either side of the blonde's face, turning it this way and that as if inspecting it. He looks at you, unimpressed, as you gently poke his right cheek, designating it as the spot for his next beauty mark. "Is here okay?"

Chishiya shrugs again with his face still in your hands, your hold on him causing a slight difficulty for him to do so properly. "It's your test, isn't it?"

"Okayy, here it is, then."

You lean in and place a gentle kiss on his cheek, then another, and another. The touch of your lips is sweet and light - Chishiya's soft chuckle is audible when you kiss him a fourth time, and he loses count of the ones that follow after you can't seem to help but kiss him once on the lips. 

-

Chishiya knows he shouldn't. He is aware that the wax wings fixed to his back are loosening by the day. 

But no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, he is compelled to push open the door to your room in his free time, the daylight hours before he leaves for a game. Where he is enveloped by golden sunlight the second he steps in, the way your face brightens like heaven is on earth there with him etching itself into the very corners of his mind. He listens silently to your stories, the lull of your voice. You've begun to kiss him on his right cheek regularly, like a habit, and he can't bring himself to stop you. 

He does his best to ignore the thought that perhaps he doesn't even want to stop you.

Chishiya knows that this is temporary. He has to be careful, make sure he doesn't forget. That no matter how many times you kiss him, he cannot stay. He is already flying much to close to the sun - the sudden warmth that consumes him as he does so is so immense that it scares him. Because every time you kiss him like that, he wonders what it would be like to sit there and listen to you tell stories forever.

And Chishiya knows forever doesn't exist. 

-

Chishiya declines citizenship in the Borderlands.

Even after playing Kuzuryuu, he had honestly considered staying. No matter where he was, forever still would not exist; he would eventually die in either world. It would be interesting to see what the future held for him here, in any case. Perhaps he could run the Diamond games - there's no question of him being able to take the crown of the King of Diamonds with his intellect. And after all, if he stayed, he wouldn't have to return to the tedious problems of the real world.

But in the end, he finds that something inside him has changed.

Maybe it's because he's slowly bleeding out, which probably doesn't bode well for him. Maybe it's because he's slumped against a car and it's less than comfortable. Maybe Kuzuryuu got through to him after all.

But maybe it's also how you find him there, hidden behind the car, worry painting your usually so sunny face as you rush over to kneel beside him.

"Chishiya?" you whisper urgently. "Are you okay?" 

He feels a gentle weight on his shoulder where you hand has immediately come to rest, like it's the most natural thing in the world. You don't even think twice about it; it surprises Chishiya that such a simple movement could feel so comforting, safe. He's gotten used to your touch, no matter how hard he'd tried not to. You're checking his wounds, eyes widening when you realise his hoodie is soaked in blood. "What happened to you? Oh my god, have you been shot? How bad is it?"

Chishiya manages a weak chuckle, even as you begin desperately searching for the bullet wound. You're worried, really worried, whispering something about putting pressure on the wound. Should he tell you he's been shot more than once? 

His eyes roam over your face, cast in deep shadow by the darkening sky. Where are the crinkles in your eyes? The look of unobtainable joy that never left your face? It's so strange - ridiculous, even - that all he can think of is that stupid story you'd told him so long ago, the one about the beauty marks. He aches to see you smile again, like you did then, and the all-consuming feeling almost outweighs the blood seeping from his wounds.

"Are you laughing?" you say tearfully. Another laugh forces itself out of Chishiya's chest even as he winces slightly, although whether he laughs out of amusement or exasperation he can't really tell. You give him an incredulous stare, eyes shining with perspiration, before you finally crack a small smile of your own.

That's all it takes for the dam to break and you exhale in relief, the panic leaving your body in the form of a heavy breath. Your whole body relaxes and your hand slips a bit on his shoulder as you slump down beside him. "Chishiya," you breathe his name like it's the only thing keeping you alive, burying your face in your hands. "I was so worried about you." 

Chishiya's broken laughter subsides into a grin. He leans back against the car, closing his eyes for a moment, although his look of amusement still lingers over his features. It's almost ironic - you seem more concerned about his own life than he is. And while Chishiya's concern usually reaches the brilliant heights of almost zero, he suddenly thinks that surviving his multiple bullet wounds wouldn't be so bad. 

"Why?" he says, opening his eyes slightly to peer at you through half-lids. "If I died, we could test out your beauty mark theory."

You groan, but the sound is half-laugh-half-exasperation. "I can't believe you." Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder, the fabric of his hoodie muffling your voice. You sound weak, as if you had spent some time calling out his name, trying to find him. He exhales a soft laugh. it was always your voice that gave you away, but now Chishiya only finds it endearing rather than a weakness. Despite the situation he finds himself relaxing. 

He could get used to this. 

And that's when it hits him. 

That Chishiya has already become Icarus, the fool. 

He breathes out. No, he's been a fool from the very start. He wants your head on his shoulder, just like it is now. He wants the warmth of your touch. He wants forever, full of your dancing eyes and your buoyant smile. He wants too much, has flown right against the sun so that his wax wings have melted away and he's plummeted into the ocean. Look at where being careful had gotten him; everything he's ever believed to be true is lost in the deep water. 

But then you raise your head to graze a kiss on his right cheek between murmurs, your own cheeks slightly wet with tears, and Chishiya finds he doesn't care. He's willing to indulge in the idea of forever, no matter how unlikely it might be that it actually exists. He'll sink deeper into the ocean as long as you're holding on to him.

Fireworks explode around the two of you, marking the end of the world he'd met you in, and Chishiya makes his choice.

"I don't want citizenship," he says, and his eyes slide over to you as the words leave his mouth. He can admit, if only to himself, that he's looking forward to your reaction. "I think."

Your astonished face is illuminated in the light before it splits into that beaming smile. 

"I thought you would stay," you whisper, but you're smiling so hard even as glittering tears are sliding down your cheeks again that Chishiya can't help but laugh once more. You reach for his hand and clasp it tightly, intertwining your fingers and his in a way that can only be described as tender and sweet, and he knows he's made the right choice. 

"Let's go home," you say, eyes shining, and Chishiya is falling, falling. He wants to go back and live in a world with you, where a love that outlasts even the two of your beating hearts is more likely to be possible. Because even though he doesn't believe in forever, you do.

And Chishiya has never wanted so badly, with all of the heart he thought he didn't have, for it to be true. 

-

Chishiya couldn't shake the feeling that something was strange.

He knew exactly where he was before he even fully woke up - the beep of the heart monitor, the sharp scent of sterilisation, the coolness of the pillow behind his head. From all the time he'd spent in residency, the atmosphere of the hospital was unmistakable. 

He opens his eyes slowly to ease his transition into the waking world. His body aches with injury, and there is a stinging pain in his abdomen. The thoughts in his head are sluggish, bleary. He's still gaining his bearings, trying to figure out what happened. 

A sudden jolt of urgency shoots through him and he almost bolts upright; he is met with the resistance of the tightly tucked in hospital bedsheets, and has to slowly push himself up instead. He looks around, scanning the other beds in the room. There is a strange new ache blooming rapidly in his chest, but he doesn't think it's related to his injuries. Where is...

He blinks. Where is what? 

He frowns, freeing one of his arms from the linen sheets to rub his forehead. He tries to summon the thought up again, but it's like grasping at sand. Where is...? He attempts to close his fist over the question, but it slips through his fingers like the grains of an hourglass. What was he so desperate to find just now?

He just can't seem to recall. 

The curtain around his bed is drawn with the slight scrape of metal, revealing a nurse with a clipboard. Chishiya is momentarily distracted from his thoughts when the nurse looks surprised to see him awake, her mouth forming a little 'o' of astonishment.

"Oh! you're awake," her expression quickly eases into a professional smile. Chishiya dips his head slightly in acknowledgement, but he is still unsettled. It's the strangest thing. It feels he's missing something, but he just can't figure out what.

The nurse begins to check his vitals, scribbling something down on a clipboard with a ballpoint pen. To Chishiya's newly awoken mind, the scratch of pen against paper is louder than it should be. As she writes she tells Chishiya what happened - the tragedy of the meteorite, how he was one of many victims of the crash. 

"Your heart stopped for a full minute," she says, "you went into cardiac arrest. The same thing actually happened to a lot of the other patients here who were injured by the meteorite crash..."

Chishiya stops listening there. The nurse continues to talk, but his mind is already is elsewhere. His heart stopped for a full minute. He wonders, briefly, why it even bothered starting back up again. Perhaps he had some underlying will to live that even he didn't know about. 

Human hearts were strange things. 

It turns out that Chishiya has to stay at the hospital for a while before he can be discharged. He's familiar with the procedures - although his injuries aren't as severe as the man in the bed next to him, who is bandaged from head to toe, it'll still take a while before he makes a full recovery. Though Chishiya isn't too happy about this, he supposes there's nothing much he can do about it. And while the man stationed beside him is rather boisterous at times he does talk to Chishiya on the occasion, and it's not too irritating. In fact, he thinks they might even be a little bit alike in some ways.   

But even as his injuries slowly heal, the ache he'd woken up with still lingers. It's such a strange, implacable feeling. Something inside him yearns for a specific kind warmth, the gold of sunlight that filters through windows. The hospital wards are too silent, too dull. Since when did he begin to long for company? But it's not even that - the room he's been staying in is full of people, yet he still feels as if someone is missing from his side. It's endlessly frustrating. 

If his heart was going to torture him like this for surviving, maybe it shouldn't have yanked him back from cardiac arrest after all.

Chishiya's hospital days blur together with the utter sameness of them all. He goes through the motions, the scans, the checkups, all without a second thought. 

Until, that is, he catches a proper glimpse of his reflection in the chipped bathroom mirror. 

He stops in his tracks, leaning in closer to check whether it was just a speck of dust on the mirror, but no - it's really there. He frowns. That's weird. 

He has a new beauty mark.

Has it always been there? There had always been one, just below his left eye. He had never paid it any heed. It was simply there, an affixation of his face. But he finds that there is now another mark, sitting on his right cheek. If it had been there all his life, he certainly didn't remember it. How had he never noticed it before?

He raises a hand to brush the new mark in confusion, his fingertips grazing the skin. As he does this, he recalls something odd - in the very back of his mind, it's almost as if he can feel the gentle press of someone's lips against his cheek. 

-

Chishiya is finally going to be discharged from the hospital today.

He will not miss this place. In fact, his parting from the bed he'd known for the last month or so was joyful, to say the least. The ache he had woken up with still hasn't disappeared, but maybe the unsettling feeling that he'd forgotten something would fade once he left.

The sooner, the better.

He is just making his way to reception, having bid an amused farewell to the boisterous man in the bed beside him. Unlike the others in his room, neither of them had had any visitors, so he supposed the least he could do was be civil to the guy.

For once, there is silence in the hospital's white-walled corridors; visiting hours had not yet begun, and while Chishiya had grown to find complete silence somewhat unnerving he welcomes the change. There are no families weeping in the grey couches, no nervous chatter as they waited to be given updates on their loved ones' condition. There is even an abundance of sunlight, drifting in through the windows. It's peaceful, calm. The way Chishiya likes it.

Except when the receptionist's desk is finally in sight he finds someone else is already there, talking to the receptionist. By the looks of it, it's another patient - probably another crash victim, like him. Chishiya slows down, not particularly wanting to wait around for the conversation to finish. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, turning to look at the grey visitor's couches and then back at the receptionist. The patient is filling out forms now, blue ballpoint pen in hand. He spots the receptionist holding a rather thick stack of papers in her hand and frowns.

This may take a while.

Chishiya resigns himself to the grey couches, sinking into the soft fabric of the furniture. At least there's plenty of sunlight, streaming in through the rectangular glass pane overhead. He shoots another glance over at the counter, where the receptionist's stack of paper has diminished by about two sheets. He wonders if he would be chased if he just walked out of the hospital without signing the discharge documents.

With a sigh he leans back into the couch, turning his head to the side. With a note of surprise, he realises that there is a book lying open-faced a few inches away from him - judging by how it's been left open, someone must have left it there in the middle of reading it. With nothing else to do he lets curiosity take over, reaching over to pick the book up by its spine.

The book is a thin copy of an old story, battered and clearly well-read. He frowns slightly when he reads the title, bringing it closer to him to make out the words - gold lettering, the font of deceit. It's the story of Icarus; who wanted too much, giddy upon his taste of the heavens, and paid the price for it. Chishiya had always held contempt for that particular tale. If the fool had just been a little more careful, perhaps he would've lived.

"Oh! You know the story of Icarus?"

The question catches Chishiya off guard. He looks up from the book to see someone standing in front of him, smiling. It's that patient, the one who had been talking to the receptionist, silhouette dappled golden in the sunlight trickling into the room. That must mean the receptionist's desk is free now - but for some reason, he can't seem to tear his eyes away from the patient's expression; sparkling eyes, lips curved sweetly. Those bright eyes study him as he feels a familiar pull in his chest, the ache growing stronger by the second. And then, he hears the soft words:

"You have lovely beauty marks."

And it's so strange, because suddenly he feels a tug at the back of his mind. He feels as if he's heard something like that before, in another room dappled in sunlight. Where he felt warmer, safer than anywhere he had ever known.

Chishiya feels the smile come to his lips before he can stop himself. Perhaps his admin papers could wait a little longer. "Is that so."

[steviewashere]

For the kiss prompt....Steddie and 40 please because I saw it and had a burning need for it!

❤️❤️

Okay, this one is far less angsty (I'm hoping) than yesterday's, lol. But I appreciate this prompt a lot. <3

Number 40: "Because the world is ending."

Tags: Season 4, Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, First Kiss, Slight Love Confession, Steve Harrington has a Bisexual Awakening, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Eddie Lives, Last Minute Promises, Protective Steve Harrington

💕—————💕 There was a weight in the way Eddie’s vest laid on Steve’s back. Something that nailed him to the floor, kept him under the clouds but above ground, that anchored him to existence. It provided a sense of security that Steve hadn’t felt in…three or more years.

But there was something about Eddie’s gaze, too, that provided that same amount of comfort. Just one glimpse, one stupid little sentence about lost loves, one panicked nervous fit of laughter—it was enough to make something inside Steve squirm. The same thing he kept away in his own Pandora’s box, deep inside the crevice of his chest behind sinew. It’s where Tommy existed at one point, maybe a few other boys from elementary school. He knew what it was, the pull in Eddie’s gaze. Or, really, the magnetism that Eddie’s eyes held.

It made Steve want to stare back. Made him want to stop the world’s rotation. Made him want to find a way to reverse time, prevent all the evils of his life, find Eddie sooner. He wanted Eddie the same way mosquitos yearn for amber light. Icarus to the sun. Something strong, invasive, all consuming.

Love, he realized. He wanted love from Eddie.

Which makes it all worse when they’re going over game plans. Eddie going with Dustin. Dustin going with Eddie. Nancy and Robin going with him to the Creel house. Max and Lucas and Erica being all too far. There was that pull. A protective surge. Flames in his veins.

It was all so stupid. So careless. Everything they chose to do. The way Eddie knew about some gun store. How his body read nonchalance, but the way his hands shook when pointing out what kind of weapons they could find there. Steve wanted to reach down and wrap his own hands around Eddie’s, squeeze them still, bring his knuckles to between his eyebrows. Do something silly. Like kiss them or kiss Eddie or carve a spot behind his ribs and force Eddie inside of there.

That magnetic pull is back full force once they’re right side up in the Upside Down. Dustin’s a whole four inches shorter than Eddie. Covered in scrap and a hood. And he looks childish, dorky, how he should have been the last several years. Yet there’s a matured gleam to his eyes that haunts Steve, even as he stares it down. And when he glances to Eddie, looking reasonably the same—immature and dorky—green vest that isn’t zipped up, DIY’d leather jacket, ammo belt, and a pair of ill-fitting shiny boots. Steve can only wonder what it would be like to see Eddie not here, not in these circumstances, in his usual appearance. How more…beautiful he’d be if he weren’t so damned afraid.

If Eddie weren’t staring at Steve with something like goodbye. He forces himself to turn away, to stop looking, to stop wanting when there’s no sure presence of tomorrow. It’s like he’s being gifted a litter of kittens, being told not to get attached. Except, he’s already come up with names and collar colors and places where he could put beds. He’s got an idea of where Eddie would be soft if Steve could touch his skin. What nicknames would make him flush and what petnames would make him melt. Steve doesn’t want to be attached, but at the same time, he doesn’t think he ever had the choice.

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie calls to him.

A crunching step forward. Steve forces himself frozen to his spot. His back tenses, shoulders hiking, the axe on his back brushes his hair. It’s cold, the metal is solid and real and sharp. His hands are shaking and his eyes are burning and there’s an iron grip around his lungs. Stomach turning and lurching and falling straight to his feet. He doesn’t turn, not yet. Not with the stern and sudden confidence to Eddie’s voice. Don’t get attached, he’s not yours to keep, a voice echoes deep inside him. I want him. I want him, though, that’s not fair, and that’s the petulant part of him. Something he thought he lost when he knocked on Jonathan Byers’s door.

He expects Eddie to continue, but he doesn’t. The rush of blood is loud in Steve’s ears. There’s no other voices. No other sounds. He’d think that the demo-creatures would’ve sounded off by now, but there’s nothing. The weight of everything, he realizes, is behind him.

Over his shoulder, Eddie’s eyes are fierce. No longer pulling on Steve’s arm, rather squeezing him tight by the shoulders, hauling him into his orbit, pressing their bodies and souls tight. Steve is startled and stirring and flippant. He shouldn’t leave. Doesn’t want to. Not when Eddie is…Eddie is what he wants.

And while his eyes are fierce, they are checking out. Somewhere else. And yet, they’re here. For Steve to fall into. And for him to cradle the sure absence Eddie is preparing to make.

“Make him pay,” Eddie’s voice demands. It’s neutral, neither loud and overbearing nor soft and assuring. His voice is a grenade, ring pulled but hammer still intact. Steve wants to pick it up and place it inside his chest. Wants to obliterate at the impact and sound.

He swallows. Wavers. Nods. And turns away.

But he doesn’t take a first step. He just stands, caught between worlds and passions and full body aches. A shiver crawling up his spine and into the back of his mouth. He swears he tastes it, decay. Something leaving and rotting, just as Eddie’s footsteps begin to retreat. To dissipate. Steve doesn’t want to forget the sound.

Without much on his mind, without any preamble or warning, Steve whirls back around. Stomps inside Eddie’s dusty footprints. Their shoes aligning to one another, the same size. His eyes burn lasers into Eddie’s back, but neither of them stop moving. It’s not until Steve is nearly at the front door to the Munson’s trailer that he’s able to grasp to something. His left hand wraps around Eddie’s right forearm. Gripping with the force of hippopotamus jaws. And he tugs Eddie to him. To face him.

Eddie’s eyes look to him in trepidation. There’s something else, like he’s realizing he’s been caught. An apology forming on the tip of his tongue. Before he can part his lips to say anything, Steve takes his right hand and forces his fingernails to indent into Eddie’s cheeks, squishing his lips to be slightly puckered, and drags him towards his face.

Their noses meet first. Soft and tantalizing. Breathing the same air. Steve, for a moment, can smell Eddie’s breath. And he doesn’t care, that neither of them have brushed their teeth in several days. That they’re tasting each other’s rot and stale words. He doesn’t care.

Slowly, he leans the rest of the way in. Pressing his lips to Eddie’s softly. Just soaking in their warmth. How dry and chapped and splitting they are. Pushes in more firmly, fluttering his eyes shut at the sensation. Breathing in gulps through his nose. Messy and wet on Eddie’s lips, but all the same a: ‘The world is ending, so nothing matters, but you matter and my world will end otherwise.’

And when he pulls his head back, he notices that Eddie wasn’t responsive at all. He wasn’t, but Steve doesn’t feel rejected, for once. Or negated. Or pulled taut and snapped in half. His chest glows with a low-level warmth, radiating between them like a candle’s near-dying flame. He digs his fingernails out of Eddie’s skin and cups his cheeks instead. Like protecting that little bit of light melting away at them. He opens his eyes, met with bewilderment and silence and fear and curiosity and…yearning. But also, there’s something shining back on Eddie’s face like a dream has just come true.

Steve takes a sharp, quick inhale. Whispers, “Don’t be a hero.” He’s already said it, he knows that. But…Eddie was never going to listen and he should’ve known that from the get-go. “Don’t be stupid,” he continues, “and you come back here. Come back to me.”

“Wha—“

“Come back to me,” Steve urges. “I want to know you. And I want to have you. I want to…I want to need you all the time, you understand me? Come back to me, all in one piece, away from danger. Or else I will kill you myself.” He nods once. Swipes his thumb over Eddie’s still jutting bottom lip. “Promise,” he demands lowly, “promise I can see you again.”

Eddie’s gulp is loud between them. His breath puffing hot and cold over Steve’s fingers. But his voice has lost all ferocity. Going soft and controlled and loving. “I promise, Stevie,” he murmurs, “I promise I’ll find you back here.”

Steve nods one more time. Short and affirmative and final. He draws his hands away. Zips up Eddie's vest. And brings them back to being limp at his sides. The very foundation of his being shakes. “Good. And I like that. I like that name, Eds. Call me that again, promise.”

“Promise,” Eddie echoes.

“Not a goodbye,” Steve feels the need to say.

“Just a see you later,” Eddie states. And there’s an honest tone to him that settles all the frayed nerve endings inside of Steve. Before he gets the chance to turn back, Eddie gently cradles his face in turn. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Just for luck,” he murmurs, “be safe.”

There’s a weight in those words, too. Steve tethers to them.

And they ring out at the final blow to Vecna, as the flames engulf on all sides of the house. When they return to one another and all that’s wrong is a splash of ugly dark blood on Eddie’s cheek.

They’re safe. The world will always end, but they’re safe.

💕—————💕 Kiss Ask Game <3

[leeknow-thoughts]

୨୧ BRUTAL

𝝑𝝔 son of Eros!Changbin x mortal!fem!reader

𝝑𝝔 cw : unserious!reader (she is .... interesting for sure!), crude humor, Changbin is a sweetheart :c, fluffy smut, mild angst, Switch(mostly sub)!Changbin, Switch(mostly Dom)!reader, LOTS OF KISSING, mutual masterbation, clit play, no p in v, tit sucking, mommy kink !??!, love spells!!!, lmk if I missed anything!

𝝑𝝔 hyung line m.list | maknae line m.list

Something was off, you didn't know how to describe it.

You sat up in your bed, looking around for a moment. That's when you spot a man in the corner of your dark room and you scream.

You grab the knife you kept in your nightstand, "who are you!?" you scream at him.

"Shhh!" the man tries to hush you.

"Why are you telling me to shh, you broke into my home!" you exclaim.

"Listen, I'm here on business," he starts before you interrupt him.

"What business do you have being in my house? Is the C.I.A trying to take me out because of my theory on the money smuggling because if so I deeply regret questioning my government and I swear I'm a good brainwashed citizen!" you yelp.

"C.I.A? Government? Brainwashing? I swear to Zeus, you mortals get more crazy by the minute!" the man exclaims, "but no, luckily for you, I am not from the government, well not your government."

"So like the United Nations!? That's even fucking worse! I swear I'm a good law abiding citizen who never questions the old hags that we call politicians!"

The man stares at you with a look of mixed shock and terror on his face, "the godly government," he explains.

"That's somehow even worse?! I don't even believe in God! Wait which religion is right? I swear to God, if it's Scientology I'll find the nearest cliff and jump off, I swear you will not take me alive Mr.Secret Scientology Agent Man Thing."

The man's mouth is agape and you can tell he's trying to put the pieces together, "What's Scientology?" he questions.

"They believe in aliens and shit, but they're lowkey a cult, and they're trying to reach Nirvana or whatever, trying to get their brainwaves to vibrate at the same frequency as an alien's or some stupid shit like that," you explain.

"Ok, well aliens aren't real," Changbin starts before you interrupt him.

"Ok science denier, you're telling me you're a- whatever you are- and aliens aren't real. Maybe you're in a cult. What frequency do your brainwaves vibrate at?"

"I'm not in a cult, I'm one of the sons of Eros," he explains.

You burst out into a fit of laughter while the man slaps himself on his forehead, "okay buddy, time to put you back in whatever insane asylum you escaped from," you say as you sit up.

The man turns around and you see the wings poking out from his back. "Maybe evolution did hit the ancient Greeks, you're like Icarus but like evolved and not as crispy and fried as I'd imagine him being," you figure as you admire the man's wings.

"Why are you bringing up Icarus?"

"Well he had wings," you remind him.

"Yeah and you're about to fly too close to the sun," he sighs, "I was assigned to your case. I'm going to help you find your soulmate."

"Ok sure you are buddy," you chuckle.

"Can you at least put down the knife, I feel like you're gonna stab me," he requests.

You sigh and put the knife back in your nightstand. "So how does this whole thing work?" you ask the man.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I'll find a list of potential soulmates for you," he explains.

"So you're like the match maker from Mulan?"

"I'll make sure to look for someone who appreciates your fantastic sense of humor," he retorts sarcastically.

"Boo, you're no fun! Live a little!" you exclaim and sit criss crossed on your bed.

The man pulls up a chair and pulls out a clip board and a pen. "Male or female?" he asks.

"I'm a woman," you say it like it's obvious.

"I mean for a partner, do you want a man or a woman?"

"Either," you shrug.

He scribbles that down in your chart. "What's your name by the way, you know like everything about me and all I know is that you're a Scientologist and mentally impaired and a bird or whatever."

"Changbin," he says while rolling his eyes, "do you have a height preference?"

"Nope," you pop the p.

"Weight preference?"

"Another no."

"Age preference?"

"What do you mean by that because I am not-"

"-I'm going to stop you right there," he glares at you, "you need to take this seriously."

"I am being serious!? I'm not a-"

"Ok! I get it, I'll j-just mark down older."

"Make sure it's not like super old though."

He looks up at you, "excuse me?"

"Like a person who is like- older than my grandma. Unless they're like absolutely loaded."

He rolls his eyes and moves on, "do you have a preference regarding lifestyle?"

"Yeah, I don't want them to be a politician or a Scientologist or mentally insane."

"Ok," he scribbles on the paper, "done, I need you to sign here."

He passes the clipboard to you and hands you the pen.

"Why?" you question.

"Because this is a legally binding contract," he says it like it's obvious.

"So like in Cat in the Hat where two underage kids sign their life away to a six foot tall man in a fur suit? Am I signing my life away?"

"Just sign the fucking paper," he requests.

You sign the paper and hand it back to the winged man.

He flips through more pages in the clipboard before his face falls. "What is it? Don't tell me my soulmate is a politician!" you whine.

"It's worse," he hums, "you need to come to HQ with me."

"Wait so who is it? Is it like a serial killer? I didn't even think of that!"

"Will you shut up and take my hand," he offers his hand out to you.

You hesitantly take it. You're instantly transported to a place you've never seen before. An office building with pink walls and pink tainted glass that over looks above the clouds. Changbin pulls you with him to a desk.

"Eros, I need to speak with him," Changbin says to the person, who also has wings, that is working at the desk.

"I'll tell him you need to see him," the person says.

"Thanks," Changbin mutters.

Changbin lets go of your hand and begins pacing around the waiting room. "So like is it bad?"

"It is me," he mumbles.

"Huh?"

"Your soulmate, it's me."

Your mouth falls agape as you stare at he man. "What?" you question.

"Yeah, tell me about it," he grumbles as he continues his pacing.

"But you're like-" you pause.

"-a matchmaker. And you're a mortal."

"Eros will see you now," the woman at the reception desk announces.

Changbin pulls you by the wrist through the hallway and into a room. The room is large, huge floor to ceiling windows on two of the walls, a huge desk right in the center, and an extremely tall man with strawberry blonde hair sitting at the desk. Changbin lets go of your wrist when he makes eye contact with the man. "Changbin!" the man at the desk says, he stands up and walks over to where Changbin and you were standing, "it's so good to see you, son!"

You look up at the man towering over yourself and Changbin. Easily 8 feet tall with a pair of feathery wings on his back.

The man lifts up Changbin, pulling him into a tight hug. "Dad, it's good to see you too, but listen we have a situation," Changbin says sternly.

"A situation?" the man asks, putting Changbin back on the ground.

"This is Y/n Y/l/n," he introduces you.

"I know of her," he smiles.

He leans down to shake your hand, holding his out for you to take. You hesitate before you do, but you gently shake the tall man's hand, "you know me?" you ask the man.

"Well of course I do! I am a God after all!" he cheerfully booms, "you can just call me Eros!"

"Nice to meet you," you give the man a tight lipped smile.

He lets go of your hand and it falls to your side.

"Listen- Dad," Changbin interrupts, "I think that there was a mistake with y/n's soulmate generator."

"How so?" Eros questions.

"Well, it said that well-" he stammers.

"Does she have a soulmate?" Eros asks.

"Well yes b-but-" Changbin continues to stutter.

"-it's him, sir, Changbin is my soulmate," you explain.

"What?" the man gasps.

"Listen, I'm just as surprised as you are, I specifically said no politicians, Scientologists, or mentally insane people."

"He is, none of those things?" Eros states.

"Yeah well when you wake up in the middle of the night to someone standing in the corner of your bedroom talking about how they're from the 'godly government' and it reminds you of Scientology, and then he tells you he's the son of Eros so obviously you start thinking to yourself that this guy is either seeing something we can't or he's strung out on something, and then he makes you sign your life away like those kids did in the cat in the hat movie, then you can call me picky," you ramble.

Eros glances at Changbin then at you and then back to Changbin, "well were you the only option?"

"Yes," Changbin confirms.

"Well then it is destined to be, she did sign the contract," he points out.

"So wait? Did I sign my life away?" you ask.

"Well not your life," Eros begins before he cuts himself off.

"Dad," Changbin says, "what do we do?"

"I suppose we follow the rules," Eros figures, "you two are soulmates."

Changbin's jaw practically falls to the floor, "there is no way."

So now you find yourself at Changbin's house, well apartment, on Mt.Olympus. The apartment itself is more than just nice. It is beautiful. Floor to ceiling windows with a scenic view, a full kitchen with a separate wine closet, even a balcony overlooking the streets of Olympus which were full of nymphs and muses and Gods and Goddesses alike. Ornate furniture with gold accents, a chandelier that looked like it costed more than a yacht, and 4 luxurious bedrooms. "Make yourself at home," Changbin sighs as he takes off his coat.

"Woah, this is your house?" you exclaim as you ogle at the ornate house.

"Yeah," he blushes, "it's ours now I suppose," he runs a hand on the back of his neck.

"Oh my God, this is straight up like a fairytale," you say as you look through the kitchen.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, opening the fridge.

"Yeah, is there anything I can eat?"

"What do you mean anything you can eat?"

"Well like I don't think I can drink nectar, because I'm like a mortal or whatever," you chuckle as you look at his puzzled expression.

"Well technically you can drink it, but you would like probably pass out from what you mortals call 'alcohol poisoning'," he chuckles as he grabs a soda from the fridge.

"Wait do you have some?" you ask excitedly.

"I mean yeah but like, why?"

"Well I wanna try it!"

"No," he shuts down before you can continue.

"Please! Just once Changbin!" you beg.

"I said no," he says, more firmly this time.

"Ugh fine you're no fun," you cross your arms and take a seat on his kitchen island.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asks, changing the topic.

You hum while you think for a moment, "spaghetti," you decide.

"Okay," he agrees.

He begins pulling ingredients out of the fridge and pantry and you just sit there on the counter and watch as the man prepares dinner. "Soooooo," you speak as Changbin puts a pot of water on the stove, "what's it like being the son of Eros?"

"Well, I think it gives people the wrong impression of me sometimes," he reveals.

"How so?"

"Imagine that your father is known for orgies and sex, prayed to by mortals for him to grant them fertility and true love, doesn't always leave the best impression with people," he explains crossing his arms.

"Why not? Are you not like him?"

"Not at all," he mumbles softly, "I do this job because I like making people happy, to be honest I didn't know it was possible as a matchmaker to match with anyone," he explains, "especially a mortal, like yourself."

"Doesn't Zeus have lots of kids though? Is he matched with someone?" you ask.

"Don't even get me started on how many kids he has, y'know we have a whole department that keeps track of his children," he whispers the last part.

You stifle a laugh and get a good look at the man who is your soulmate. His sharp nose and round face paired with gentle eyes and buff arms have you feeling tingly inside and out. "Zeus does have a soulmate, or well he says she's his soulmate, Hera," he explains.

"Isn't that his sister?"

"I wish you mortals would stop spreading lies like that," Changbin sighs and rubs his eyes.

You giggle and swing your feet back and forth. "So wait, not all of you are like related?" you ask.

"No," he chuckles.

"So like how does the whole soulmates thing work?"

"Well, once you're matched, you're matched, you fall in love with the person, they fall in love with you, some couples get married, some don't," he explains.

"Can we get married? If we get married can we please get married by and Elvis impersonator in Vegas, ooh and I want a pink wedding dress!" you proclaim.

"Yeah, sure," he hums as he adds the noodles to the boiling water, "anything else you want for our wedding?"

"Hmm, maybe a chocolate fountain at the reception and for the reception to be held in a strip club," you half joke.

"That would make our wedding, interesting," he giggles, turning back to face you now.

"Well yeah, you only get married once! May as well enjoy it! Also honeymoon in Paris, or like somewhere in Europe!"

"Yeah," he smirks, "we can do all of that."

God, he looked good. Did he always look this good? Maybe you were too blind to it before, because fuck he was good looking.

"Really?" you ask enthusiastically.

"Really," he smiles softly.

"What about our wedding night?" you ask before you fully think through what you're saying.

"Our wedding night? Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" he teases.

"Well- I-I j-just wanna k-know what you like? I mean I-" you stutter as you try to speak.

You freeze when Changbin moves over to where you sit and pulls you in for a kiss, stopping right before his lips touch yours, you feel your heart thumping in your chest and heat rising to your cheeks as you slowly relax into his gentle grasp.

"Kiss me-" you hoarsely whisper.

He licks his lips before he finally puts his lips on your own, his lips molding against yours in a tantalizing rhythm. You are the one to break away from the hypnotic kisses he is placing on your lips. "Changbin- why I feel so-" you mumble, searching his eyes for an answer for the certain wanting in the bottom of your stomach.

"The love spell, it- well- it makes you," he flushes.

"Horny?" you ask.

"Yeah," he laughs, "makes both parties-y-y'know horny."

"Holy shit," you giggle as you bring him back in for another kiss.

This kiss is passionate and rough, in perfect contrast with the way Changbin holds you close. His hands resting on your waist, gently rubbing feather-light touches on your sides, each one leaving you more breathless than the last. Your arms loop around the back of his neck, reveling in the comfort of his lips on yours.

It's not enough though, you need him inside you, you need him to fuck you. "Changbin-" you moan against his lips.

"Darling," he coos, "tell me what you want-you c-can have it-w-whatever you want."

"Bin- I-I," you whine.

"P-please ma'am wan-wanna be inside," he squeaks.

"Ma'am?" you smirk, pulling apart from the kiss to search Changbin's eyes.

"Ma'am, mommy, mistress, master, whatever you want- I-I d'care, just pl-please, wanna be inside," he searches your face for any apprehension.

"Changbin I-I, get on your knees," you whimper as you notice the way he looks at you.

His hair is messy, his eyes lust blown and lips plump from kissing. You watch the heavenly sight in front of you as Changbin sinks down to his knees in front of you. He gently holds your leg as he kisses your knee, "please," he speaks a confession, "wanna worship you."

His fingers trail up and down your clothed legs, and at this time you curse yourself for wearing plaid pajama pants instead of flimsy sleep shorts.

You quickly stand on two feet and begin walking away, scaring the man on the floor. "Y/n- w-we d'have to!" he yelps.

"Take me to the bedroom, please," you huff.

Changbin leaps onto his feet and shows you to the bedroom, his hand in yours. Like two horny teenagers left unsupervised for more than 30 seconds.

You found yourself making out with him on his soft bed, it was a little awkward with Changbin's wings on his back, but you couldn't seem to mind, especially not when his fingers are cupping your breasts under your shirt and his fingers are tweaking your nipples in his fingers. A soft tune is playing from what you presume is your phone, or it could be the record player in the corner of Changbin's room, but honestly you don't care when Changbin's head moves down your chest, kissing above your waistband. "Honey," he calls out to you.

"Y-yeah," you look at him.

"Wanna watch you get off," he requests, "wanna watch you, please."

You're stripping off your clothes before you can even think of what you're doing, throwing your clothes somewhere in Changbin's room. You watch as his mouth falls open as he stares at your tits. "Like what you see, honey?" you ask as you lay your head back on the pillows.

He nods and you watch the faint blush creep up onto his cheeks. "Wanna see you too, please, please Bin," you hum.

He follows after you, removing his clothes and you ogle at his body. Fuck, he was muscular, and your mouth started watering when you saw his cock.

"It's n-not," he begins before you are spitting in your hand and wrapping it around the base of his cock.

Not very long, but fat in girth, with a pretty flushed tip and nicely trimmed bush surrounding it. Changbin's mouth falls open as you begin jerking his cock, "it's more than okay, baby," you reassure the man whose eyes are rolling to the back of his head from pleasure.

"Y-your," he whimpers, trying to speak.

"Don't worry about anything other than feeling good, just relax my love, let me make you feel good," you hum.

You can see the internal struggle on Changbin's face before he shoves his own hand in between your legs, spreading your wetness around your folds. "Changb-" you begin, going to chastise the boy but his fingers move up to your clit, rubbing in soft circles.

"P-please," he whimpers.

"Hm?" you hum searching his face while his fingers continue playing with your pussy.

"Can I suck on your tits?" he asks with a timid voice.

You can't help but smile as the fingers on your spare hand wrap in the boy's curly black hair and bring his mouth to your chest. You speed up your hand that is playing with his cock, trying to repay how well Changbin is making your pussy gush just with his calloused fingers.

Changbin is sucking on your nipple and his fingers are playing with your clit and it all is becoming too much and just enough at the same time. "Mommy," Changbin moans against your chest.

"Yeah, I know it feels good doesn't it?" you coo to the man who is clearly losing himself in the pleasure of you stroking his chubby cock.

He nods his head into your chest and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head before his hips start bucking his cock into your hand. "G-gonna-ngh," Changbin whimpers.

"It's okay my love, let go, there you go honey," you instruct.

Changbin cums with a low groan as his hips keep bucking into your hand, his fingers that were playing with your clit stopping and resting there as you watch his pearly white cum shoot out of his cock and onto his soft stomach.

His legs slightly twitch as he comes down from his orgasm before he looks up at you before remembering he is also supposed to make you cum, you don't let him feel bad about cumming first though. Instead opting to praise him for being good while his fingers resume their movements on your swollen clit while his mouth continues playing with your nipples.

"Ch-changbin," you choke out a whine.

A particular hard swipe to your clit has you tumbling over the edge of your orgasm, clenching Changbin's shoulders as you ride through the high. "Perfect," Changbin praises and presses a kiss between your breasts, "and all mine."

"All yours," you reassure, "all yours Changbin."

[callsignfate]

Jealous? Please.

Day Fifteen of Writemas/Birthday Posts

If you want to see the scheduled posts go here If you want to see more posts like this go here

TW: Jealousy, semi-serious arguments, if I've missed any let me know!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria felt bad for keeping you in an ivory tower; her fears of something happening to you drove her mind to endless places with countless possibilities. So there you stayed, as Valeria's most guarded "object."

Your complaints of loneliness and boredom didn't fall on deaf ears. She tried to think of ways to keep you entertained and happy. When she noticed puppies for sale during an outing, and one of them sort of looked at her the same way you did when you were begging her to stay for just one more hour, she immediately had the idea to give you something to take care of.

"His name is Icarus," Valeria mumbled as she put the puppy down on the bed where you usually lay. "He's a Great Dane, and he will keep you company and safe while I'm working. Everything you need is in the living room. I have things I need to do; I'll be home later," Valeria said, glancing at the time and rushing to leave while you fawned over the puppy.

Hours later, she usually came home to find you waiting for her with sad puppy eyes in the living room, watching the door. When she wasn't greeted as usual, she felt her eyes furrow in confusion before taking off her boots and setting her keys in the small glass bowl next to the door.

Soft laughter could be heard before you came running into the hallway, sliding on your socks on the wood flooring as the puppy followed you happily.

Valeria watched this, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. She observed as you played with the puppy for hours instead of following her around and talking to her, as you usually did. It wasn't long before you were tired and crawled into bed with Icarus next to you in Valeria's spot, quietly. Valeria followed soon after.

"You've spent all night with him; you didn't even eat dinner with me. You ate it while you took him outside," Valeria huffed quietly, trying to hide her jealousy, even though she didn't want to admit it.

You shifted in bed, and Icarus, ever the vigilant guardian, raised his head, looking at Valeria before settling back down. You gave her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I got carried away. But look at him, he's so cute!" you whispered, scratching behind Icarus' ear.

Valeria's stern expression softened as she watched the two of you. "He is cute, I'll give you that. But remember, he's not a replacement for me."

You chuckled. "Of course not. But it's nice to have some company."

Valeria slid into bed, her eyes still on the adorable scene in front of her. "Just don't forget who brought him here. And I expect you to pay attention to me, too." "Is thee Valeria Garza jealous over a puppy?" You teased as you tried to stifle a laugh and a grin as you glanced at Valeria.

Valeria shot you a playful glare, her lips curling into a smirk. "Jealous? Please. I just want to make sure my priorities are clear. The puppy is a bonus, not the main act."

You grinned, wrapping your arms around Valeria. "Alright, alright. You're still number one, don't worry. Icarus is just... good company."

Valeria snuggled closer, her tone softening. "Well, he better not get used to sleeping in between us. That spot is reserved for me."

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

If you want to see the scheduled posts go here If you want to see more posts like this go here