#selfabsorbed

[bodyofbrilliance]

Plan Shopping

The meaning of Plan Shopping is not committing to any one plan for an evening until you know what all your options are. The choice is what options are available, which may include pricing, most likely to be fun, advance our careers or have the sexiest boy

The meaning of Plan Shopping is not committing to any one plan for an evening until you know what all your options are. The choice is what options are available, which may include pricing, most likely to be fun, advance our careers or have the sexiest boys/girls. Tim Kreider describes this as treating people like menu options or products in a catalogue. Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com We…

[dansword]

Mental Health & Being Called Self Absorbed

Today I decided to reflect on the ways I've handled my mental health without help from big pharma. I'd also like to address a comment made on my Tik Tok live the other day.

Celebrate the small wins. Making your bed in the morning, washing your face, brushing your teeth. You did something that is beneficial to you. These things are worth celebrating.

Do healthy activities that boost your serotonin as often as possible. I take dance classes at least 3-5 times a week. A class is 2 hours and I always leave feeling good (for the most part). I recently got a bike and love riding the trails around ATL. It brings me so much joy to do active things that cost little to nothing.

Finally, fuel your body with good stuff. I've been a crappy vegan the past few years, but when I do eat clean, green, and drink a lot of good liquids like water or tea that is when my skin glows, I feel light, and helps my self-image.

The other day I was on TikTok live and someone in the comments says, "you seem like the type that would be self-absorbed." I responded with, "not self-absorbed, but self-invested." There is nothing wrong with investing time, money, and energy into yourself. When you do you're able to give that energy back to others.

That's all for now!

xoxo

[chryzure]

forgot my name on my email is “rory” and got hit with a “hello, rory” HI. I FORGOT I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH THAT NAME.

[songbirdstew]

I've been thinking about when I started to develop phone anxiety. I didn't always have it; when I was a kid, I loved it when friends called & had no problem calling them. I only got it as an adult.

and at first I thought it might have been the advent of cell phones, everyone suddenly being reachable, and expecting you to be reachable, at all times.

But I think it was actually the sudden responsibility of staying in touch with family members once I moved out, that being a Good Daughter, a Good Sister, a Good Niece, meant I had to talk to people at a required frequency, for a required amount of time, regardless of whether we had anything to say to each other. The phone was no longer the tool of freedom and escape it had been when I was a teen, but now a tool of entrapment and tests that I learned to dread.

Whenever I have to call utilities or medical offices or what have you, nowadays, I'm always pleasantly surprised at how fast and painless it (almost always) is.

It's not the phone that gives me anxiety, it's who's on the other end of it.

[dawnleaf37]

announcement,

domt be weird about my camp characters all of them are heavily influenced by me and my own emotions and states of mind (some parts a bit more exaggerated than others but still not an excuse)

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[nerice]

i have to become more autistic actually. that would solve things

[chryzure-archive]

i think about archibald one time and then i’m consumed by bloodlust for the rest of the day.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Time, the ragged edges of what he’s broken, chafes between them like cloth against open wounds. He wants to move away, let the wound be a wound to spite himself, to hurt himself, to punish himself. It can’t heal like this and he doesn’t want it to. Wants it to rot, decay, decompose him. Make it stop, make it end, let him be sand and ash like the rest of them. Absolve him from the stain, the guilt, the sickness, the corruption. Absolve him from the blood on his hands that he didn’t put there. That he didn’t want there. The blood they put on him, in him. Her blood is his now, and he doesn’t want any more of it to flow. Wants it to rot, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, red turns to gold turns to black turns to grey. Wants it to watch its own demise, the end of the line, by the hands of the Master.

But there’s another pair of hands at this piano. The hands of the Mistress – Missy – who’s him maybe in all the ways that count. Whose hands are his in the way that makes a difference – or doesn’t. And she’s tugging at the cloth, urging him to open the wound, to show the jagged hole in him that hurts so much, to let it bleed. She’s him maybe in all the ways that matter. He sits.

[aneaboveandbelow]

.

[space-kittie]

I think I'm in some sort of hell

[strawberri-syrup]

tee hee i hate myself soooooooooooo much

[sivavakkiyar]

music rant re improv and musical double standards

a weird musical double standard in common US music appreciation is how people talk about jam bands, self-indulgence etc. what is self-indulgence here? A bunch of (normally white) boys just soloing and jamming over a rhythmic background for an extended amount of time. You have to be excessively selfabsorbed to do this, no? It’s boring, no one wants to hear this. But so you ask people if they like Hindustani classical music, which is theoretically the same—-it’s a part of the source for a lot of jam bands—-rhythmic background of varying complexity, musician improvising on the ragam for an extended period of time. To be a little mean, it’s unlikely that most people who would make such a blanket statement about improvisation actually *do* listen to Hindustani music, but unless they’re inveterate racists they’ll kind of clarify that that’s different, somehow. Because it’s an *art* music, of course, traditional. Jazz, as you know, often gets lumped in casually with jam bands here, surprisingly often even from liberals, but with the ‘America’s classical music’ designation gets the same kind of tolerated reprieve. Those things are traditional, protected, artifacts: but the thing itself is inherently laughable to unacceptable and can be described as such in the neutral now specified space.

I was thinking about how badly Adorno seems to engage improvisation: he fundamentally doesn’t seem to understand it, is hostile to it, for reasons roughly in line with the standard Eurocentric musical view (harmonic development as akin to narrative and history compared to African/Oriental timeless meandering). Committed racists will insist on this even today as an essential musical truth; strangely some Left art musicians embrace this take; but my point is that in even the casual commonplace ‘truths’ of our understanding the hostility is visceral and obvious in it’s acceptable place (ditto atonality: how many know that the West developed these techniques at least partially, if not largely but under recognized, in response to the music of Africa and Asia finally coming into close contact with those traditions?)

[joelletwo]

i like the compare and contrast of yjh likes being Directed bc hes relinquishing iron grip of control over himself finally (not selfdiscipline but like. hard-won/hard-kept sense of identity)/conversely already used to riding the wave of shit happening to him out of his control. and natori likes being Directed bc hes selfabsorbed great at taking direction, so great in fact that someone should give him an amazing grade in it, something he has gone to lengths to make sure is possible to achieve and normal to want in his career,

[thetownwecallhome]

TNBC Shower thought #6: Oog-booge revooge

(( OOC:

If you've followed this blog long enough you probably noticed the distinct lack of a certain gambling boogieman on here despite him being a staple of the franchise. The in-canon explanation is scattered throughout the blog as to why Oogie still be very dead, but I just gotta be honest with you all: I don't dig giving Oogie Boogie 'depth'.

I especially don't dig giving him depth by way of him having a connection with any other (canon) characters. Why?

If we're being totally cynical here, Oogie exists in Nightmare souly to make Jack not look as bad because Jack is the real antagonist of the story, not Oogie.

Oogie is the villain, the one who likes enacting harm, Jack is the heroantagonist all in one, he doesn't mean any harm but all of what happens in TNBC is his fault.

Oogie only plays a part in Jack's Xmas specifically cuz of Jack's lack of oversight and carelessness; even without Jack's specific instructions, Santa and Sally being Oogie's victims are his fault, and it's why Jack has to be the one to save them in the end. Whether or not you think Jack learned his lesson or is a bad person and TNBC is 'bad actually'i s it's own deep dive, but personally I really like followup material that show Jack being his best self (Zero's Journey: peppy, monsterboy pumpkin king doing what he can) as opposed to his worst self (Kingdom Hearts/Oogies Revenge Jack: uber selfabsorbed manchild who never cares about others feelings, despite the movie implying he's learned to do better).

All of this is coming up for me because the newest comic book for Nightmare went into the writer's canon backstory and it delved into one the ideas I absolutely hate: Oogie and Jack were once friends.

Making Jack and Oogie friends in the past or even just amicable to each other is a REALLY big misstep on the part writers, because it makes Jack's murdering Oogie in the film so much worse.

Oogie Boogie's death was the one part of Nightmare that truly disturbed me as a child. Having Jack so passively and aggressively skin Oogie alive and do nothing but scowl as his insides fall out in agony already makes Jack look like a Christian Gray level non-comeuppance-sue but ESPECIALLY if you tack on the idea that Oogie and him were friends once!

Jack's not Optimus Prime or Superman who's all about enacting justice and fighting for what's right tm. He's Jack Skellington. He's still a scary monster Halloween king of nightmares you don't want to mess with. In Henry Selick's words on the 2008 commentary track for Nightmare, the citizens of Halloween Town aren't 'monsters' (bad people) and neither is Jack, really. He's scary because that's his job but he and his town never mean actual harm, it's just that what they ENDS UP doing by way of Jack also being a self absorbed manchild which makes him actually dangerous.

Oogie is the exception to that. I always felt even as a kid, that the implication for why he's locked up by the rest of Halloween Town was always pretty clear: Oogie does mean real harm. Oogie wants to hurt people. He has no delusions of grandeur like Jack, yes, but he wants you dead for his own pleasure and that's really not okay and not 'a good scare'.

"It's much more fun I must confess when life is on the line, not mine of course, but yours old boy, now that would be just fine!" - Oogie, kinning the guy who runs McKanney Manor

Even the demo version of the final fight makes clear Oogie's idea of 'fun' is torture:

"No Jack, messing with MY IDEA OF FUN!"

Jack coming to his own and actually doing something about Oogie should be a moment of "Jack really IS back! 8D! And he's actually finally doing something about the incelcryptobro in his basement that he knows everyone dead! Jack's being responsible! 8D 8D!" for the audience, not "wow. Jack is dirtbag who never faces consequences and murders people for problems he caused 8C. And the movie takes his side because Jack's 'cool' and Oogie just so happened to be causing harm. The movie gives Jack an excuse. 8C 8C"

I'm not saying the latter is what you end up taking away as a viewer. I'm saying that's not the vibe you want and it's why for, in Jack's story, which TNBC is, Oogie really should be just a big bully with no nuance of his own. Or at least, no nuance that means anything TO Jack.

Oogie Boogie is kind of basic. I personally love him for that even though I don't know exactly how to write him and I want to make TNBC stuff without him as a villain. But believe me- as a villain lover I totally get the need to try and make more out of our potato-sack daddy.

If you're rightfully mad that the one BIPOC-voiced character in the cast is the bland ebbul dude, that's beyond valid!!! (no- I don't think think the coding or casting was intentional, but the pro-segregation coding in Lion King also wasn't intentional...doesn't mean it isn't problematic).

If you simply want a more interesting villain-big-bad that exists to make the main hero look better, that's all fine and good too.

Me personally, I'm currently stumped on how to flesh out Oogie and not make him a complete, actual monster by Halloween Town's standards. I'm currently trying to think around this...but we'll have to wait and see...

My biggest issue is how, because he's fun while he kills people, some fans go the opposite route Oogie is made into a harmless hammy bafoon stripped of all his teeth and his real personality. I'm sorry to do this but Oogie is NOT in love with Sally. Oogie is not Sally's sassy best friend who's great at calling Jack out on his bad boyfriend-ness.

That's not Oogie Boogie. That's Angel Dust but that's not Oogie Boogie.

I like my Oogie being a bully. Not a puppy dog, not a tragic character, just an actual unbridled monster in the midst of this town of performance scarers.

But...That's just my take, not yours. If you love Oogie being perfect and flawless to counteract Jack's supposed 'perfectflawlessness', if you wanna see him as a real nuanced character because Oogie is definitely a fun one...right on. I'm not your mom.

But yeah, that's why Oogie doesn't appear too much in my comics except for in prequel stuff. Granted, I do want to do more with him but I'm stumped as for now so Oogie stays double dead.

If he does show up and makes friends, expect his friends to not be Jack and Sally because Sally's got better friends and no way would Oogie trust Jack after all Jack's put him through.

In other news, I'm an annoying boomer now about the comics))

[opinated-user]

I've to say Lily kinda is the living straw man that europeans come up why they don't like us citiziens (she is ofc canadian): a selfabsorbed, closed-minded, lazy, mean spirited person who thinks the world revoloves around the US and ofc that every country is/wants to be like the US.

Now the question is why does Lily hate Japan/anime that much when it's "indistinguishable" from the US/cartoons.

at this point, besides just common variety racism, i can't even follow her line of reasoning. i don't know if she was just tired on that stream or something, but she's almost completely incoherent on that portion uploaded and i don't know what she's saying or what she thinks she's saying anymore.

maybe she thinks she's defending Japan by saying that's almost practically the same as the usa and she meant it as a good thing?

maybe she's saying that Japan is just as bad as the usa, it's just weebs that think is better than it really is.

maybe now she's trying to say that she knows Japan better than weebs do because it's all familiar to her.

i have no idea.

i'm not japanese myself but i highly doubt any japanese person would ever feel flattered by the nonsense she's saying. being told that your country is better because the usa first destroyed it and then rebuild it to their image is just a kick followed by a slap.