#selfneglect

[wtnbjg]

《片付けられない》 2015年制作

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[justmyhumanexperience]

[lines-in-limbo]

I think people often see a competent character and assume that must cancel out any lingering effects of neglect, for instance. Like, just because someone is high-functioning- capable, disciplined, good at their job and the things they do, etc. - that doesn’t mean they haven’t internalized deep patterns of selfneglect or detachment from their own physicality. You can keep a classroom spotless and still not look in the mirror. You can be controlled and meticulous in your work, you can scrub your speech, master your walk, and still carry the weight of never being cared for- and the belief that your appearance isn’t worth the effort, because that’s what you learned growing up. Being “high-functioning” doesn’t mean you’re healed. It often just means someone learned how to get by, by excelling outwardly, while quietly abandoning parts of themselves they were never taught to value.

Snape’s hair isn’t nessesarily a sign of “poor hygiene,” in my opinion, but a reflection of how someone raised without care might treat their own appearance. He doesn’t nurture himself in the ways others expect. That doesn’t make him incompetent, but it speaks to what’s been internalized, to how care wasn’t modeled or prioritized in the world he came from.

I mean, yeah, he’s refined and changed certain things, but emotionally, he’s still stuck. Still spending summers in the same house he grew up in. Still lashing out from the same place of resentment. And his appearance, especially his hair, has not changed. It’s the one external detail that’s stayed the same from childhood to adulthood. That’s not something I think is accidental. It reflects something frozen, something unprocessed. That continuity is the point. It’s thematically consistent. And frankly, it makes more sense to me than chalking it up to potions fumes or practicality.

[myheartxmyman]

Where are you?

What are you doing?

Do you miss me?

Probably you're going on with your life like usually,

maybe sometimes clouded by some bad mood and anger.

Bet there are moments you forget completely about me.

I feel pretty sure about you having wandering eyes on interesting and attractive woman who you see potential in.

I am once again going pretty much crazy. Totally.

I presume while I am going crazy, you are slowly going in the other direction, detaching yourself even further from our relationship, or better 'sinking ship'.

You are swimming in safety while I am drowning.

It doesn't change anything that I am the distant one,

I am still the one who's losing it and suffering.

My head aches continuously, my appetite has died, my clothes are all huge, and most of the new orders is smallest size xrtraxtra small, and still too big.

Feels like our bond got infected dozens of months ago. Catched an horrible and (terminal?) and devastating illsness. Combined to that hardship our love got poisened aswell. While the hearts were breaking, our relationship slowly began to wither, broke apart bit by bit.

Yet it feels like I am the one rotting and decaying in isolation. Of two lovers one of them loves more, I suppose that's me 'cause I can barley hold on anymore. Still I am loyal, I try, I have my mind on you; on us.

I kinda 'accepted' situations, which broke me, which changed me, which are still hurting to this moment. Sometimes it feels like I am betraying myself 'cause I didn't leave at times, so I could keep you in my life. I let myself down, because of my love for you, and what we were. I silenced myself, forced me unconsciously to' just forget and erase 'parts of our relationship history'. Parts where I normally as I said before, would have left and never looked back.

I fought and tried. I was hurt in such ways I would've never believed one year ago. Still can't wrap my head about some things.

Too often I am overwhelmed by suddenly occurring feelings and thoughts towards you, being the ones I trie(-d) to push away they are brutally heavy at times. The memories of our worst moments, of so much pain, deep agony, the desperation, disappointment and shock I partly felt, and still feel come rushing back as soon as somehow they get triggered just a little bit. It's just too much for my brain to comprehend. I don't get it, even now. How could it get so far? So dark? So cruel, damaged and painful? Secondly actions and words doesn't add up, it makes me think and feel on repeat until my overtaken mind unconsciously tries to erase, to hide parts from myself deep inside myself.

Overwhelming shock and confusion turn into brainfog and numbness.

I am kinda detached from myself, to be 'able' to be with you, able to be with selfneglected self.

Since approximately half a year, there are only two reasons why I still choose getting hurt, over leaving, giving up on what is left of 'us'.

Love and hope.

Love, for the man I meanwhile miss for such a long period of time. It hurts unbelievably that being in your presence, makes me miss you even more, because I can literally feel how far we are apart. How much has build up between us. I can sit right next to you, skin on skin, mostly I wouldn't really feel you. Not like I used to. Even while being platonic friends I felt closer to you than I do now. I long for you, even when we are together. Stil I hope that there is a way back for us., finding the ability to connect again, to see us for all we have been and still are. Growing together, and finding combined by our kintsugi repaired bond new positive traits in the 'actual version of each other'. Honestly sometimes I look at you, I hear your voice, I smell you.. And it's all familiar, while closing my eyes. But my mind drifts directly in the past, when I open my eyes you look like you, but oftentimes there is a stranger sitting next to me.

I hope that, after we did grow so far apart, one could say we did lose each other (out of sight, out of our compassion, out of our consideration, eg..). It came the moment when I looked over, recognized you, but somehow didn't recognize you anymore. Your smell, your voice, your eyes, it was all so familiar, at the same time I had no idea who you were.

Basically we went so far in opposite directions, it felt like a 'from lovers to strangers' kinda thing.

Two days ago a thought crossed my mind.. Apparently everything in life as we know it is connected, aswell as everything is in a balance. So maybe it's now time for us, slowly finding our way back to each other. I mean, leaving even further is NOT POSSIBLE. I wish and I need to connect on a deeper level again. We have to finally work our way out of this, we need to change, starting by treating each other with compassion, empathy, validation and care again. I hope we will manage to grow together, change for the better. We Need to treat each other with respect, again. We both want to feel secure and safe. Our nervous systems must be at high peak, we HAVE to change the damage we've done to our relationship. I've got to say, my hope is since the beginning of this year in a prolonged dying process, so yes, it will definitely be hard. And even if we are gonna put hella time and work in the both of us, I am honestly not sure, whether I'm gonna be able to heal enough from the wounds this relationship has caused me.

It's a rare occasion that I trust someone, normally my trust builds over Years. It felt pretty much from the beginning right, like the normal thing to trust you. I didn't even had to think about it, I just did it. You made me feel safe, secure, seen, heard, listened to. You talked with intelligence, empathy, compassion. The first night we talked I already felt peacefully at ease, calm and i notice just now, I probably didn't seem at all like a private and secret person. Being with you felt good right from the start, everything flowed right from the start.

Let's call the brief moment, where I suddenly lost control over my face

to find out my chin was able to move in only twenty seconds to a place somewhere between the end of my hair/stomach and the Spätzlewagenboden.

It feels like there is trying from both sides, but not once at the same time. Not once with combined power. It's more like one person is distanced, kinda emotionally checked out, physically at times 'there', yet so far gone. Not really invested. Maybe too tired? To drained of energy? Or simply over and done with it, at the verge of breaking it finally off for good.

Love for what we had, what we shared, the way we were. Love for the way my body was flooded by positive thoughts and feelings, 'just' because I was were you were, you were where I was, because we were together. Love for the future I could see when looking at you. I am in love with a ghost. Kinda. Second reason I am still in, is hope. It's said: hope dies last. And as deeply as I feel at times, my hope is still alive.

[free2watchhoney]

i really gotta focus tho

[mamashaysaid]

I do NOT talk much about my pains, whether I'm sick or sore, b/c truth be told, no one really cares about your colds and headaches being posted on social media, OK, people are really out here sick and dying over worse...

BUT... I will say after going through it with Zaza last couple months, I realized I've been neglecting myself to the point where I don’t even feel like ME anymore. For the last few months, I've been dealing with some chronic back, neck & spine pain that has been holding me back from doing things I enjoy aside from my work. I can seriously say I love what I do & I'm completely grateful to be in the position I'm in HOWEVER I'm learning that.... I seriously need to stop doing and bending backwards so much for others and take care of myself first. That said, I'm not looking for pity but mostly want to share a message to my fellow moms out there -- make the appointment. Just do it. Don’t talk yourself out of it, just to feel like shiit later. 

[brianalee3]

#ArchetypesChallenge2021 w/ @iammelwells 🌺 The Mother feminine archetype is, rather self explanatorily, maternal in nature 💕 However, this feminine archetype is about so much more... 💥 The Mother is the sacred caretaker of the 🌍 planet and all living 🍃 things that inhabit it. She is the embodiment of what it means to be feminine ✨ #2021 #dothework #dogmom #furbaby #lovelove #challenge #themotherarchetype #thestruggleisreal #selfneglecting #controlfreak https://www.instagram.com/p/COLtnLLraPn/?igshid=rtvs6t1v9dud

[allynabean]

a little doodle i did of beth selfneglect from ac twitter, from her stream from last week!! she was island hopping for raymond and put together this iconic Cat Calling outfit that would hopefully attract the sweet business kitty!! 

yall should follow her and her twitch, she’s incredibly sweet and so fun to watch!! she does giveaways and gives back to the acnh community as much as she can

[kaeruharukinoko]

‪セルフネグレクト…‬ ‪#楽描き #doodle #selfneglect‬

[theconservativebrat-blog]

Questioning myself

Over the  last  few months sense I became A working mom I have noticed that I do not really take care of myself the way I should. A lot of people say this is normal mom behavior, but should it be? I feel like maybe I would be doing better as a mom if I was taking better care of myself, I know time management can be an issue but what about the example I am setting for my child?. We want them to take care of themselves but if we are not taking care of ourselves then example are we setting really?. An incident at work today got me thinking about this more so then usual. I was questioned about my hygiene. Now I do take showers but sometimes when I am in a hurry I do forget deodorant at times or I just throw my hair back without brushing until it is so bad my husband has to help me brush it out again. I know balancing work, and being a mom, all while trying to make sure I get sleep it is not easy but really “I can’t brush my hair, or remember deodorant?” come on now. I could do so much better and I should do better. At first I was super offended when it got brought to my attention though I didn’t show it but then it made me think and realize, maybe its time I make more time for me, and start taking care of me like I do everyone else.

just some thoughts I had to get out there, night all

[godontopwithme-blog]

URGENT REQUEST

HELP GAIN NEW FRIENDS AND FOLLOWS ON GAIA SACRED MOTHER EARTH... im on 2 follows so far, just being real and genuine. i know i dont come across that im all too interested in blogging my self senseless. however a few more followers would help me innumerably in these hard times. spread the word. I post stuff relevant to where im situated in life right now on a high in Magic mushroom empire :) cool name for a band, forgotten woes or how abou shaman the vibe controller ??? any instrumentals i have slept on wake me up to it mother earth people. NO CULTURES OF VAMPIRES/SELFHARM/SELFNEGLECT/EVILEMOS/HARDCOREMOSHERS/ANYHATEFULVIBES AT ALL...

keep me away from emos and hate please i dont wish to join these weird republics on planet earth who prove nothing by having ‘pathetic woes in the moshpit’....

Thanks all the best thanks to my two followers already these 2 months. spread peace around keep following the light of god and worship serenity, even in trying hard death hard times thank you and may god be with you.

[writeexpresslive-blog]

I was the smile that masked your darkness...

#jsanker #byjsanker #poem #poet #poetsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #love #quote #instapoet #instapoem #instapoetry #instagrampoet #poetsoftheinternet #internetpoets #writing #poetry #expression #writersnetwork #writingcommunity #smile #darkness #mask #facade #pretend #sometimes #selflove #selfhate #selfneglect #selfesteem #easier

[9w1spso]

9w1

Positive: 

• Highly Principled, Hardworking 

• Orderly, Moral, Nonjudgmental 

• Strong sense of purpose and an ideal vision of a peaceful world 

• Imaginative, Creative, Dreamy 

• Modest, Friendly, Composed 

• Superb at nonverbal rapport 

Negative: 

• Self-critical, Self-righteous 

• Obsessive/Compulsive, Aloof

Nines with a One wing (9w1s) tend to take on more of the attributes of Ones than of Eights (the other wing), although both wings (1 and 9) can influence their personality. 9w1s tend to be more idealistic, emotionally reserved, and compliant than 9w8s. They are often well-liked, well-behaved children. While 9w1s are friendly and personable there is also a seriousness of purpose about them. They feel a strong inner desire to be of service and to be of help to others. They have a vision of an ideal world and strive to create it (although they can sometimes get caught up in nonessential activities and unproductive busyness, which frustrates them). They want to contribute to everyone’s welfare but sometimes find it hard to live up to their own high expectations of themselves. They can be highly principled and virtuous, ethical behavior is important to them. 9w1s with a spiritual bent often make good therapists, healers, counselors, life coaches or ministers because of their ability to listen nonjudgmentally and their desire to inspire, heal and uplift people. Negatively, 9w1s can be self-critical, emotionally inhibited and perfectionistic, or severely selfneglectful if very unhealthy. While they accept other people’s imperfections they can have a hard time accepting their own. 9w1’s sense of purpose can be at odds with their concern for propriety, doing the right thing and fitting in. Oftentimes their own long range goals (if they know them, another problem for 9w1s!) get put on the back burner as they tend to the needs of others. They can get frustrated with themselves because they never get around to fulfilling their own needs. 9w1s can easily mistaken themselves for 2w1s, especially if they are extroverted and energetic 9w1s. It is not uncommon for 9w1s to let themselves become overlooked and unacknowledged servers of others’ needs. In relationships they can give too much but then feel resentful and taken advantage of. While 9w1s and 9w8s are both easy-going and pleasant most of the time, 9w1s tend to restrain their anger more than 9w8s. 9w1s are more likely to become quietly indignant and smolder inwardly when mad rather than yell or lose control and make a scene like 9w8s might. Some 9w1s can be highly active but somewhat emotionally detached from others, preferring to stay uninvolved lest they get sucked into doing something they don’t want to do and not being able to say no. While still being kind-hearted and good-natured, occasionally 9w1s can feel slightly smug and morally superior to others because of their strong religious beliefs about the “errant ways” of other people.

http://www.russellrowe.com

[iiaclothing]

No #selfneglect here . #loveyourself first so that you can project that #love on those around you. https://www.instagram.com/p/Brk5DjHFMxz/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11kwhb1j6pywx