#send HALP

[ara-the-great]

Cw: Allusions to suic*de, depression and self isolation.

Authors note: this is purely written in self interest if you aren't comfortable with it please don't read it. There is nothing gory but just sad.

Sylus had not heard from you in three days now. It might not seem like much to anyone else but knowing the relationship between you two, it was unnatural. It was completely unheard of. Something was wrong. He tried texting, he tried calling, he tried emails, letters, mephisto and even hacking into the security system of your apartment. But to no avail. Mephisto found all your windows locked and curtains drawn shut. The security cameras never showed you leaving your apartment.

Sylus feared the worst. By the afternoon of the third day he was in front of your door. When you didn't open the door for the doorbell or knocking, his desperation took over. With a flick of his wrist he opened the door, his evol swirling around him- as if to shield him from anything he might find in your apartment. A few steps is all it took for his keen ears to pick up on the sound of you crying from inside the house. A few steps is all it took for him to start sprinting towards your broken voice, for his heart to beat like a war drum- ready to lay waste to whoever hurt you.

Sylus might have unintentionally broken the door off the hinges if it wasn't already wide open. When his eyes fell on your crumpled form his heart broke into a million little pieces. There you were curled up in the corner of your bathtub, softly crying. Your eye shot up to him.

You didn't want him to see you like this. Weak, broken and pathetic. You wanted to reach out to him so many times over the last few days, you wanted to hear his voice, you wanted him to find you. But not like this. Not like this.

His step faltered for just a second before he scrambled to your side. "What is it my love, are you hurt? Where? What happened? I'm here. Tell me what happened? Wh-" His voice was strained trying to be soft enough to comfort you and to suppress the vengeance bubbling inside him again whatever or whoever hurt you.

"Sylus- " it was all you could manage before fully breaking down sobbing into his open arms. He picked you up off of the tub and held you close to him. Confusion plagued his mind as he tried to figure out what was wrong.

"Look at me my love, I need to know if you are hurt. Please, y/n- please " his voice cracked as he he held your face tenderly trying to get you to respond.

All you could do was weakly shake your head. And all he could do was hold you closer.

After a while when you had calmed down a bit, you tried to wipe off the tears soaked into his shirt in a desperate attempt to erase the pathetic picture you painted for him. "I'm sorry, I ruined your shirt" you croaked

"Are you really worried about a silly shirt right now kitten?" He said wiping the rest of your tears off of your face. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

You didn't respond. How could you respond. What would you say.

"You know, I was worried that a little kitten got hurt and was hiding away to lick her wounds. It seems like I was right to worry." He said wiping the tears that stained your cheeks.

"I'm sorry." You whispered, your voice broken beyond even your own recognition. You couldn't look at him so you looked at the object previously in your hand that was now laying at the far end of the bathroom

"Wh-" Sylus followed your eyes to see the glinting object on the floor.

A knife.

His blood turned cold as the realisation hit him. You were drowning in much more than you had let on

"Kitten? Why is there a knife here" his normally smooth voice wavered - begging for you to prove his assumptions wrong. But you didn't.

You didn't speak, rather couldn't speak. Silent tears rolled down your delicate features.

"Y/N answer me. Please wh-why?" He choked

"I am tired Sylus. I'm so tired. I wasn't made for living. I wasn't meant for all this. I don't deserve you- I'm sorry" you finally met his eyes wildly looking for some forgiveness and all you could see was him falling apart.

And all he could see was you vanishing from his arms. He softly covered your eyes- which were too wild and restless, too hurt, too hopeless for him to bare. He placed an ever tender kiss on your forehead and he whispered "Rest. I'm here for you. We'll be ok. I'll make sure of it. Life will bow to our whims my love. You can rest and as long as I live, you won't have to worry about what is, has been and will be. I'll always be here, with you and you, with me." Tears silently fell from his eyes, tearing his soul apart to see you drown and it is then he vowed to give you everything you could ever hope for and more.

[fadingstrangerduck]

Please help me and my family😭🙏

Save me and my sisters from death, hunger and destruction. We are being literally exterminated in Gaza. Please donate even a small amount to save me and my sisters.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #561 )✅️

✅Vetted by association! They are a friend Maha of @/mahagaza1 (#366 on @/gazavetters vetted list) and also a friend of Noha @/gazaniha (Vetted by association). Please see screenshot below for proof.

[edupiii]

i think it’d be funny hehehehehehe

Tera belongs to @/dronebiscuitbat (i didn’t wanna @ them again cause i don’t wanna annoy her, but go check out her stuff!)

[helloliriels]

There once was a girl named Liri

Who took herself seriously

'Til she stumbled upon

This Sherlock × John

As depicted by the BBC

[artamorxx]

top form ep. 9

you don’t have to wait anymore.

[zolaari]

*drops another wip and runs away* support me: ☕ | instagram | bsky | twitter

[oddarette]

Help me decide?

I'm having a botanical/art crisis. This may be my last year ever in CA as we are likely getting PCSed(Permanent Change of Station) soon. To honor the state where I spent most of my life, I want to do a series of southern California plant illustrations. I'm torn however. I originally wanted to do native CA plants, but after photographing, cataloguing, and researching many of the plants I had selected during my time hiking around socal, I've found many of them are not actually native. This begs the question. Should I do justice to the reality of what I've seen and enjoyed during my time living here by including non native plants and still calling them CA plants, or do I offer an idealized version of native CA plants even if it's not what the reality is when you are in the wild.

[snailicious]

Help I’m coping so fucking hard right now😭😭 so I found out recently that my brother had persona 4 golden in his steam and he shared it with me. I’ve been a yu/yosuke shipper for a long time now so I was like hell yeah I’m installing the yosuke romance mod!! The thing is I don’t know how to mod and also I’m really scared I’ll get a virus so I can’t install it😭🥲 I can’t find any walkthroughs with the yosuke mod either so I can’t fucking do or watch the yosuke route.. help my cope is not coping and I feel like I just watched my non existent hamster explode💀 I could just play the game but WHATS THE POINT IF I CANT SHIP YU AND YOSUKE IN IT. I’m tweaking so hard rn help😭🙏🙏 like I can’t even watch anything yosuke related or ill start sobbing and shitting hysterically

[foularcadebanana]

Guys...I'm back to post just one thing.

HIGH SCHOOL FRENEMY IS KILLING ME!! SAINTSHIN ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME AND SO ARE SKYNANI!!!

RIP me and my sanity *cries*

The chemistry is INSANE!!!! The eye contact!!!! The 'I love you's! The puppy eyes! The flirting!!! The dialogue! Their words...I'm dead. THEIR ACTIONSSSSSSS...EVEN DEADER.

BYE! Fans of censored BLs like The Untamed who love these kinds of romance ships and lovers(friends) to enemies to lovers(freinds) should definitely watch this and die with me!

[besaya-glantaya]

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/story/nicholas-galitzine-kicks-into-gear

[tata-is-the-name]

I wanna munch Togame's thighs. I wanna munch Togame's biceps. I wanna munch Togame's neck, I wanna munch Togame's abs, I wanna munch Togame's cheeks, I wanna munch Togame's nose. I wanna munch Togame's hair. I JUST WANNA MUNCH OUR TURTLE.

[nonbinairyboi]

Has anyone seen my glasses?

[petrichor102]

Is Boris Pavlikovsky real?

(Okay, fair warning: this post will get longer and longer each time you see it for each thing I notice about this masterpiece, and I'm sorry)

(Maybe I'll add pictures later to make it easier/nicer to read. I am aware I'm insane—)

I've seen this movie once, and I'm in the middle of watching it again 😅 but I'm getting serious Black Swan vibes here between Theo and Boris. And I'm wondering, did Theo hallucinate him? Because he's

• lonely and usually friendless

• has a complicated friendship with another dark-haired troublemaker who understands (and ultimately betrays) him

• gets saddled with an abusive, drunk, jobless, nomadic father trying to steal his money

• is living in filth and poverty, and

• is usually on drugs from adults to shut him up, and he has regular access to them by the time he reaches Las Vegas

Now, when Theo first arrived in Las Vegas, Xandra makes a point of informing Theo that they're the only ones who live in the neighborhood. Then, his life spirals into a nightmare for the next two years. There's nothing to do, no one to play with, he's eating ice cream for breakfast and stolen steaks, beers, and chips for dinner, and his "parents" neglect or abuse him. It's a hard fall from losing his mother and being taken in by some misguided but well-meaning aristocrats whose own lonely son plays chess with him. No one even sits next to him on the bus*.

And who shows up? Conveniently making him giggle in his favorite class (English) and on his bus*? With a situation mirroring his own almost exactly, yet... seems to have all the time in the world for Theo (in the film)? That's also closeted but, like, he's so cool and crazy and loose and fearless? Who’s also on a constant binge of drugs and alcohol (and just gives half his drugs to Theo for free)? Suspiciously living in the same "empty" development?

Throughout the film, perhaps because of the damage due to Boris's drug use and battery injuries, he never quite seems... all there. It's as though he's still rendering, or like an unfinished diary entry. And all he does in the film is try to make Theo happy, make him feel better. Theo wants to try drugs with Boris, he wants to escape reality through Boris, he feels safest with Boris.

Even Theo asks Boris if he has any neighbors and if anyone lives with him, almost in disbelief of Boris's existence himself. Boris manages to see what little "good" there is in his parents when it's really hard for Theo to do so (which is completely justifiable). And curiously, when Theo's father dies, not only does Xandra not seem to notice Boris in her house, but when Boris attempts to steal wine and is caught, he says, "I didn't think you could see me." Theo laughs at this, and Xandra scolds him and not Boris. She never looks at him once, even to throw him out for laughing at her dead boyfriend. Realizing he royally screwed up, but still too high to understand what he did, Theo immediately lays down plans for himself down to the last detail and runs away. He doesn't consider that maybe he and Boris could survive together in Vegas, because he doesn't know Vegas, and Boris makes no comment when Theo says he has no friends here—the game is over. Theo is in danger and Boris can't charm him into staying even for one day. He runs to the only place he knows: New York. Boris thinks this is crazy and too abrupt, as he doesn't know New York yet, and strangely, for the first time is insecure and afraid of how he'll live despite traveling so many places and multiple countries in very short notice before without problems. The seat next him on the bus* is now empty, just as it was when Theo first arrived to Vegas. Boris can't make him happy anymore because he can't promise Theo will even make it through the night. Though Theo wants rather than needs Boris to come, imagining somehow Boris will fit in, Boris vanishes, stating he "can't" leave with him.

...

...

...

WHAT?!

(I gotta stop posting on my phone or at 3am because of all the edits I have to mak—)

Next, once Theo arrives in New York, things are alright again. He lives with Hobie, is close to the Barbours, and his work life is going well... until he screws over Reeve and Reeve threatens exposure and ruin of Theo's life. Then, Kitsey, whom he's marrying out of obligation (because he thinks he owes the Barbours his life despite being distant and doesn't want to lose their friendship, as it proves he's respectable) cheats on him. And Pippa can't see a future with him that doesn't involve being trapped in her past. So, guess who shows up again, even cooler than before, but suave and mature now, ready to help him cope with familiar company and more drugs.

Now, what about the painting? Well... somewhere, in the haze of drugs, alcohol, and grief, I think Theo either suspects it was stolen but was incapacitated/way too high as a child to verify this and then too scared to believe this as an adult, hence not unwrapping it for eight years due to a guilty consciousness the more the gravity of what he's taken presses on him; or he neglected it completely by mistake and he doesn't realize it was stolen at all. Mysteriously, Boris claims after Theo left and then Boris's father "left him", he fell in with Mr. Silver and Xandra, has done almost as well (if not better in life than Theo) for himself through a life of organized crime and dealing, and apparently used the painting for collateral on deals. This excuse—Boris's "cool," vague explanation of his disappearance and survival before arriving to New York—is eerie for three reasons:

• first, if Theo suspects it was stolen, the first people who'd have access to it still living are Xandra and Mr. Silver, and this may or may not have had to do with Theo possibly being abused (possibly SA'd) by one or both of them either out of spite or for money (particularly Silver, due to Theo's "good manners"). This could also explain why the film alluded to Theo and Boris being sexually active at such a young age but never talking about or putting a name to these activities during the first half of their friendship.

• second, if he doesn't realize it was stolen, he blames "Boris" for it going missing when he reads about the painting being spotted in Florida. In reality, he could have misplaced it (or been doing these deals himself), and news of the painting's reappearance made its way to Florida. And

• third, it once again mirrors (through a darker, more tragic reflection) Theo's own survival through sales and vague connections, by reconnecting with Hobie and the Barbours; continual drug use to cope with people he can't stand; and making it in New York by lying and stealing—after his own father "left" him. He feels like a gangster, but Boris is a gangster.

Finally, he loses the painting and attempts suicide. All he's thinking about is his mother, but Boris (who shows no signs of injury after being f🤨king shot) pulls him back into the land of the living, explains all is well again, and that the painting he swears he was going to give back is suddenly in safe hands and they get to split the reward. All is well... right? Boris conveniently solves all his problems, without any apparent injury to himself, his business or reputation, or his feelings for Theo—it was all for Theo to be happy, again. He fixes things, cleanly, just like how Theo believed suicide would. It's like his entire life of hell just came to an end.

He can't write about any of this to Pippa or Andy (while he was alive), and Andy and Mr. Barbour have drowned in a storm, but Boris understands who Theo is when he's not playing Gatsby with pills and clients. He's the only one who knows about the painting. He even held on to memory of Tom Cable being an asshole to Theo. Boris is the only one who treats him normally, but most of his time spent with Boris is under a dusty haze of secrets, drugs, and alcohol.

Sounds an awful lot like Lily and Nina when Nina's life is falling to pieces. Boris flickers in and out of life the same way. I can't tell if this flickering is all a coincidence and Theo found his soulmate in Boris or if he's a manifestation of Theo's unresolved grief, fears, addictions, debts, and repressed desires. Narratively at least, Boris is a dark reflection of himself—something Theo uses to convince himself that he might have done bad things but he's still a good person, something he might have become but didn't, something that pushes him to keep going despite his awful circumstances, and something he makes peace with at the end of the film.

[sunlitsorrows]

hnnnnn my mother and my little nephew are coming to visit and this is lovely and nice and good but it means I need to rearrange my bookshelf so all the grownup books are up high out of Nephew’s reach…

And as much as I want to encourage any interest he has in reading he’s six, he’s got sticky six year old fingers he’s going to get my books sticky 😭

WAIT HE LIKES LEGOS maybe i buy him a big cool LEGO thing and like… i can put on an audiobook while we build stuff?

(this doubles an an excellent way to get out of socializing with the adults)

Chat is six years old too young for Redwall? Is Clooney too scary? Nephew is kinda an iPad baby and my sister isn’t particularly attentive I can’t imagine he hasn’t seen/heard worse?

[dreamingticklee]

when you remember tickly teasy things that have been done to you and start giggling and hiding your face in a pillow cause even the memory is too much to handle

[inspiredbyabook]

BLOOD OVER BRIGHT HAVEN a playlist

everybody wants to rule the world lorde. another love tom odell. for my help hayden calnin. kettering the antlers. couldn't stop caring the spiritual machine. waiting game banks. knocking on heaven's door raign. to ashes and blood woodkid.