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#seriously I don't know what to call it yet
i-eat-dynamites · 3 days
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` > incest, 3some (ish), piss (reader pees instead of cumming)
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being bakugous cute little sister means having him and his best friend tag team you. katsukis have your back against his chest while eijiro eats your soppy little cunt. "how long have y'been wanting this hm?" his arms were wrapped around you tightly while his friends hands held your thighs apart.
"f.. f'r a while n-now..." you whined out, your voice all shaky from the never ending orgasms kiri pulled out of you. "for a while huh? what, so y've been fuckin' that cute little pussy to my friend? what dirty bitch.. " he emphasizes his words by aggressively rubbing circles on your aching clit, you hiss. "nnstop-! that's too- fuckin'-" you squirm around him, then feel a vibration and growl between your legs.
"stop moving cutie..." eijiro mumbles, his fingers digging onto the meat of your soft thighs, he dug his face into your pussy, rubbing his nose your clit while his tongue explores your gummy wallls. there's already stains on the bed from eijiros drool and your cum.
"that's enough dumbass." "hold on man.. gonna pull out a last one..." you were already a shaking mess beneath him yet he wanted to make you squirt again? what a sadist. "what!? can't cum 'nymore stupid!" you try to pry him off of you but he didn't budge, not even a bit.
"tch, f'she ends up pissing, you're cleaning it up." "i know, i know... shit.. s'all gonna worth it.." your eyes widen when you feel katsukis hands wrap behind the back of your knees then pulling them towards him, exposing more of your needy cunt to his friend. "wh-what th'fuck are you doing?!" "helping, idiot." katsuki growled, "f'you wanna make her cum then do it quick, wanna have 'er 'round my cock already." katsuki mutters.
"seriously? you wanna fuck your little sister kats? what a freak~" eijiro chuckles at his desperate attempt to get him to make you cum faster. "you idiot, don't think i haven't seen you fuck your fist t'her before. stealing one of 'er undies and burying your nose into em huh? yet you call me a freak." "at least she isn't my sister blasty." eijiro spits on your cunt, pinching your clit in between his thick fingers.
"tch... i mean... just look at her.." katsuki looks down on you. "plump tits, a fat ass a cute fuckin' cunt, who wouldn't wanna fuck her when she's got the body f'a slut~" he smirks over you before grabbing both your legs with one of his hand then sliding his free one on your slippery pussy. "look at that, soooo fuuuckin' messy..."
"shit, you're just gonna let him talk to you like that sweets?" eijiro chuckles, he looks down on your pussy, clenching around nothing while making feint squelching sounds. you mumble, "i don't care what he says...." "y'just love wearin' that pout don't ya~? always so bratty~.." eijiro leans in, he gently grabs your jaw and slowly turned your face to look at him, he licks his lips before shoving his tongue inside your hot mouth.
"mnh~." eijiro fondles your breasts, his fingers gently spreading your inverted nipples, "c'mon.... come out cutie~..." he pinches you, pulling away from your mouth then switching to your tits. "gonna gimme your milk mama?" eijiro circles his tongue around your nipple, while he pulls on the other.
"xuse me? y'plannin on knockin' her up asshole?" katsuki grabs a fitfull of his hair then pulled him away from your poor tits. "why not? mad cus you can't?" how cocky. "don't get smart with me kiri, either you fuck her thighs or use a damn condom, pick one." katsuki fumed. eijiro clicked his tongue then pulled out a condom form his back pocket.
"damn boner killer." he muttered, ripping the corner of the plastic with his teeth then tossing the wrapper aside. "and you. you fuckin' love this don't you? ya big bro watchin' as you're about t'get your cervix bruised." you nod, all bashful and coy.
"aww, look at 'er kiri, all needy and willin'" katsuki grins at your embarrassed act before spreading your legs open. "see that sis? his dicks goin' deep, deeeep inside ya~." eijiro struggles to put the condom on, his brow creasing as he exhaled now that he's got the thin plastic around his length.
"ready darlng?" "s-sooo.. fuck'n big..." "i know sweets, that's why i was stretchin' you a ton earlier, you're not gonna give up now are you? you're a big girl, s' i know you can take~" eijiro murmured, prodding your cunt with the tip of his dick, drawing circles and rubbing it up and down. "say you want it." katsuki demanded, you froze when he called. "m'not repeating myself princess. say you want his dick."
"don't wanna keep 'im waiting sis." you gulped, then whimpered a tiny 'uh huh'. "what was that? didn't quite catch it." "i-! i want it okay! i... please.. want it s'bad.." katsuki snickered, his eyes darted to kiri, a signal to plunge himself into you.
"don't hold back, pound 'er like you're life depends on it." "damn-" eijiro drops his entire weight on you, his dick immediately kissing the entrance to your womb caused every hair on your body to stand on edge. "-what a demanding older brother, how d' you keep up with him huh babe?" he begins thrusting, slow but powerful, every thrust sends the bed back, hitting the wall.
"oh my god oh my god oh my fuck'n god!" you legs were half way into going numb. you whine at feeling of his fat dick stretching your perfect pussy for him, every vein, you feel going inside, not to mention the black patch of hair sitting at the base tickles your clit when he goes down.
"y'feel that sis? look at that-" katsuki grabs the back of your head and forces you to watch your needy hole get fucked. "-takin' him so well, 'nd you're gonna take me just as good right?" your eyes shot open then snapped your head at him. "i-! mnh! can't pos- fuck! -sibly take you're- you're cock!" every word you enunciate gets cut off by eijiros strong thrusts.
"why? too pussy to take your brother's entire dick sis?" katsuki teased, his hands groping and pulling on your tits. eijiros growl caught the both of your attention. "enough talking, focus on this dick sweetheart.." he stopped moving, his dick throbbing inside you, eijiro gently moves side to side and watches the bump on your tummy move.
"look at that.. fuck.... so full of me are ya? wanna be full of my babies too?" he cackled before picking up the pace and began slamming his hips into yours faster. "y'better watch it eijiro. f'that condom breaks i'll bash your fuckin' head in." katsuki growled, a visible scowl on his face.
"chill out man, it won't, so cool your jets, jeez.." the bed creeks, every sound of skins slapping each other fills the room. even your moans, you were sure that even a few of your neighboring classmates could hear. "ooh myy fuuckin' gooood~!" your legs twitch despite being numb, your tits and the chub on your tummy bounce with every bit of his thrusts.
"oh fuck m'gonna cum..!!" you hissed, the familiar feel of it on your stomach causes your back to arch. "mnfuck-!" you whined once more, katsuki began to rub your clit while eijiro took you to poundtown.
you shrieked when you feel his finger pads on your aching bud "kats'ki! stop!" your grab him arm, attempt to protest but it did nothing, only made him rub faster. "piss on his fuck'n dick, come ooon." his hand slid side to side faster when liquid from your cunt starts to spray all over.
eijiro moans a few times before finally resting his hips onto yours. "oohhh fuuck... shit that's fuckin' hot..." you writhe beneath the both of them, your hips twitching as you continued squirting on his cock, covering his toned abs with your piss.
"heh... well fuck... it broke~"
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trynafindbarbiee · 2 days
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ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW
I didn't thought I would do it, because it's only gonna waste my time and energy but y'all are getting out of your boundaries now.
None of this matters to me at all. I'm not obligated to prove myself; it's ultimately futile in my opinion. Although I've proven myself two or maybe three times already, I'm living my life peacefully, so why should these miserable people matter to me? I won't even remember after a while nor your pathetic opinions about me 💀!!
No matter what I say, there will always be doubters, and there will always be those who believe. It's not my job to convince people of my experiences or beliefs, and I don't have to prove myself to anyone. I'm living my life peacefully, and I don't need external validation from anyone. I'm grateful for my experiences, and I don't need anyone else's approval to know they're real.
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Why are you charging money when u have manifested trillions of dollars in the void :
I could manifest endless money into the void, but that's not the case. Even after entering the void, we still have jobs, we eat, we sleep, we live normal lives like ordinary people. There's a renowned blogger on Tumblr (I won't name her) who has also entered the void yet continues to work. Helping people through my abilities is my choice and I like it and so I seek compensation for it.
Even after entering the void and manifesting various things, you will still desire activities that bring you joy. You will starting to want to live a normal life. Eventually, you will become accustomed to manifesting everything instantly from the void, and it will cease to excite you.
If I really wanted to scam, I could have charged $500 or so, but I didnt, and still being called out as a "scammer"? $12 ain't gonna make me rich.
While there have been scammers within the community, it does not follow that every person offering a paid (and reasonably priced) service is a scammer.
You can't manifest for others :
How dumb of you all to say this.
"everything is possible"
Proceeds with "you can't manifest for others, stop lying"
Ultimately, it boils down to one's assumptions. If you believe it's a scam and that it won't work for you, then that will likely be the outcome. Is that not so? Now, do I gotta explain all the fundamentals to you all?
IT IS POSSIBLE TO MANIFEST FOR OTHERS (speaking from my own experience), and if you think otherwise, you simply have a limited mindset.
"It will only happen in your reality, not theirs." Not everyone believes in the existence of infinite realities, and it's okay to have different beliefs. However, if you do believe they exist, then this is what the truth would be, FOR YOU.
You are a male/boy, because your payment account is having a name of a boy :
I'm astounded by the sheer ignorance and absurdity in some individuals questioning someone's gender based on the name on the name of the payment account.
Are you all seriously assuming I'm male just because the account name is masculine? Common sense seems to be lacking here. I'm using my cousin's account. Is there a problem with that? I am merely utilizing my cousin's account. Please refrain from making such baseless assumptions.
She shows you her writings as proof and the photo she says as proof is her necklace and phone photo :
If you choose not to believe them, then so be it. What do you want me to do? To me, they are sufficient as "proof." If they are not for you, then fine, I won't put myself in a situation where my privacy would be breached just for the sake of "PROVING" to you that I really entered the void.
First, you all desperately demand proof, but when someone provides it, you claim it's fake. Nevermind, be stuck in this cycle:)
Why on earth do people persist with these baseless assumptions and relentless demands for validation? It's utterly draining and disheartening. If my evidence isn't enough, there's absolutely nothing I can do. What else do they expect? It's not my responsibility to prove my authenticity to anyone.
Read this ask
Reading that you should have realised that nothing can ever be enough for you all as proof.
And if you don't believe in those then why are you even in this community? What is making you believe those writings of others saying, you can have your dream life in a day, are true?
"trynafindbarbiee you don't have to deal with these manifest things, you can enter the void instantly anyway, why don't you live your life instead of wasting your time here?". - shouldn't it apply to all bloggers now? 💀
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Anyone who's charging for their services isn't a scammer always. Accusations of such reflect a limited mindset. It is indeed possible to manifest for others, and some individuals in this community have successfully done so.
The community has become more cautious about distinguishing fraudulent offers from authentic ones. I find it absolutely hilarious that you all label such offers as a scam, as if $12 could somehow make a person rich overnight. It's honestly quite amusing!
Now, one bad comment about me = BLOCKED !! I don't have time to waste on limited minded peoples, who not knowing a thing about me, proceeds to call me a scammer.
So, now, stop with your pointless assumption about me. And do better + get a life <3
And THANKYOU to everyone who are still with me and refusing to believe the nonsense going about me on here. I may not reply to your postive asks but know that I love you all !! 🤝🏻💞
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nalyra-dreaming · 3 days
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Hi again Nalyra!
I’ve found myself stuck on something in 2x06 that I desperately need your help explaining.
I don’t know if it is the been-up-since-3am brain (yes), but I just can’t parse the implication surrounding the exchange Louis and Armand have regarding Louis allegedly requesting to have his memory erased. (It doesn’t seem to be confusing anyone else though, so I am making this SOS call, haha!)
This is the exchange:
Louis: I asked you to erase it? Armand: Yes. After you came out of a shower in our home in Sausalito. Three days after we abandoned him.
^ Is this exchange meant to explain that three days after they 'left' Daniel, Louis allegedly asked Armand to erase his own memory (re: the Claudia realisation/walking into the sun event)?
Because if so, what does that mean for the timeline? It happened only three days after dumping Daniel in the drug den = is that meant to imply that Armand was able to speed up Louis’s convalescence through the strength of his ancient blood? Otherwise erasing Louis’s memory is sort of moot if his body is still in a bad state, telegraphing exactly what happened to it, right? So Louis had to be all healed before his memory was erased. And yet it was only three days after they left Daniel?
What am I failing to grasp here with this exchange? Armand’s ancient blood is either power af or the ambiguous ‘three days after we abandoned him’ refers to a much later date than the drug den drop-off?
Seriously, send help. I’m all tangled up in probably unnecessary confusion, haha!
Heyyy!!!
Ahahaha, no it's not just your brain, I also stumbled over this.
Because... with Jacob's statement in the episode insider, and the comment re the martini... (also vermouth!!!!) - there is quite the clear picture emerging.
Namely that DM did happen in the past.
I think that comment was maybe the truth - but it happened a few years after that eventful night. I'm not sure what would have needed to happen for Louis to request that, but I do think there is a possibility for that to happen.
In any case I found the wording... let's say vague enough to ring the alarm bells for me as well. Because why not say "3 days after the interview" or similar. No, it's "three days after we abandoned him."
"We... abandoned him." A shared decision? What made Armand use the word "abandon"? There are implications to that word. Because you just "leave" people you just met and don't feel much for. They would have "left" Daniel after erasing his memories. But no, they "abandoned" him. There is one definition of "abandoned", which goes: "No longer maintained by its former owners, residents, or caretakers; forsaken, deserted."
And so yes, I think that word is definitely a clue. As well as that vague... time frame. He is trying not to lie, would be my guess. But there are ways to be vague. And as Assad has said it so plainly, Armand is already trying to spin another web, to keep Louis and Daniel away from the truth.
And that truth is that DM happened, but Akasha did not rise. And something else happened that made Armand (and Louis) decide to "abandon" Daniel. Or... they were forced to.
And if Louis really asked for it (we'll see)... then he could not stand to know about it.
And it will be extremely interesting to see what that was.
Or if Armand is just... throwing a smoke bomb there.
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bandzboy · 1 day
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i don't know if some of you have seen but scooter braun has officially retired from managing artists to focus on being a ceo at hybe america. he put out a statement where he said this on his instagram:
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i could break down how bad this whole statement is bad but i wanna point out he purposely named newjeans, txt, le sserafim, seventeen and illit here and called them "new acts" and did indeed confirm that he will be working with these groups very closely in the future and yet people are still not alarmed about his involvement and don't take the boycott seriously. this statement is quite literally alarming and proving once again that hybe doesn't care about our opinion and what we have been telling them these past few months. it's so obvious they won't let go of him any time soon and this will only get worse if people don't mobilize themselves seriously. a lot of boycotters can tell you the same thing but we are so tired of begging people to boycott it's EXHAUSTING if this doesn't make you scared i don't know what will
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lilisouless · 8 hours
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Jesper,Kaz& Inej laugthing
Nina: don't laught! its adorable!
Matthias: as if you guys never did crazy stuff on the shower
Jesper: probably not "laying on cold water to imagine i am surrounded by snow"
Wylan: you know at least he has a wholesome motive, unlike Mr "we are out of soap again because i keep playing with the foam"
Jesper: hey! my hairstyles and hats i make out of the soap are pure art, my bubble dress one day will make history
Nina laughts: bubble dress?
Jesper: oh, you want to do that? alright, lets plays "who am i"
Jesper grabs a bottle of shampoo: HELLO MY FANS FROM ST BATHROOM! WHO WANTS TO HEAR ANOTHER SONG BY NINA MOUNT´ANNA!?
Nina: what? how did you know-
Wylan: your neighbors have called asking if someone is getting tortured
Nina: oh right? well then....
Wylan: what? you got nothing on me, i am very silent when i shower, i don't do anything weird
Jesper: huh...thats not true
Wylan: what? i don't
Jesper: to you, but you shower like a damsel in a movie writen by horny old men cathering to the male gaze
Wylan: thats too specific yet not usefull at all
Jesper: you do everything in slow-mo, eyes closed, lips open all the time, take forever in rubbing the same spot...
Inej: stop describing it! i don't want to picture it
Nina gags: ugh, i just did..oh the cringe...i want to crawl out of my skin, you are so cheesy, Wy
Wylan: Well excuse me for feeling pretty, lets just...guys
Both Matthias and Kaz looking at the ceiling
Matthias: you waste a lot of water
Kaz: i am starting to get Jesper
Matthias: it was not a bad description actually
Kaz: yeah..thats what i meant
Wylan snaps his fingers at them: oh for Ghezen´s sake
Inej: We deviated from the point, we were making fun of Matthias
Matthias: seriously?! alright...the soap Opera
Inej: excuse me?
Matthias: tell us, Inej...did Bubbler Eugenio Shampoo already asked Softia Maria Conditioner to marry him?
Inej to Kaz: you...
Kaz: sorry...i heard you one day and was going to tease you but i was too curious for the cliffhanger that i had to wait. Then i told Jesper who told Wylan and i lost control because we were all too into the story, i had to take notes everytime i heard you take a shower to bring up how it was advancing
Inej: you did...well just for that i am killing someone next chapter
Everyone: nooo!
Jesper: thanks so much Matthias
Kaz: anyway, the conclussion is that i am the only normal here with no childish habits,i don't even take the shower, i use the bathub and drink champagne like a fine gentleman, its ironic because i am not one but you get it, an adult
Inej: what about him? (shows a rubber duck with a tiny hat and cane)
Kaz: "gasp" Mr Kruge Beaker!
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nunalastor · 1 day
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Well, hello!
Remember that AU "Findling Charlie" (Snow White + Tangled AU)?
Well, now it's a fic, and in honor of Father's Day (at least where I live) here is the first chapter. https://archiveofourown.org/works/56710879/chapters/144162487
And a part of the chapter:
When Alastor arrived in hell, he decided that nothing could surprise him.
So it was funny that finding a baby in a basket outside his door was what would prove him wrong.
Regardless of this baby's origin, be it hellborn or mortal sacrifice, it is now his responsibility, and he intends to take it seriously, whether or not there is a reward in his future.
The baby must have felt his gaze, because the occupant of the basket begins to move, drawing the attention of anyone who can attend to her, and making a face, ready to start crying when she realizes that her movements did not attract enough attention to so that someone could carry her.
"Now, my dear, what is that expression on your young face? It's not appropriate for a lady."
The baby opens her eyes and stares at him, stopping any moaning and movement as she gives a face to the clearly new voice.
"That is better. If you were left in my care at such a young age, then I don't understand this demanding behavior...although considering the circumstances, perhaps you really do need attention."
The baby only blinks a few times, watching as this new person talks about things she can't understand yet, but with a voice pleasant enough to keep her calm. However, after a while she moves again, managing to remove her hands from the blanket that wrapped her and demanding more closeness with this stranger.
"Well, I certainly hope you're not too hard to please. I propose something to you dear, I don't know what the future holds for us, but if you behave well I promise to take care of you as best as I can for as long as possible. So it's a deal?"
He moves his hand to touch the baby's cheek, but the little girl steps forward, and her small hand wraps around his index finger. Nothing happens, but that touch makes Alastor feel an unknown warmth.
"Oho! Well, clearly you must have a lot of potential dear. You're so young and you already know how to properly close a deal."
The baby, still squeezing the finger in her hand, moves her lips in something resembling a smile, obviously a simple reflection of Alastor's expression, but seeing that imitation of a smile filled the radio demon with delight.
"Check it out! You're completely dressed now, dear. After all, 🎶you're never fully dressed without a smile.'🎶"
The baby babbles and squeezes the finger in her hand a little tighter, trying to keep his attention. Alastor can't help but let out a small laugh.
"Alright, little girl, I understood the message."
He unwraps the baby from the blanket and takes her as gently as possible in his arms. He can see that the little girl is wearing a blue dress, a strange choice for someone in hell, and even stranger is the yellow duck on her chest, certainly a curious choice. But what catches his attention the most are the white letters sewn under the duck.
"'Charlie'? I take it that's your name, dear?"
The baby, Charlie, just looks at him from her place, in the arms of the man with a pleasant voice, still not understanding what he is saying.
"Well, Charlie, I'm Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet you sweetheart, quite a pleasure. But maybe, in the future, if you want, you can call me dad."
---
Meanwhile, in the palace, a king awakens from a pleasant night's sleep and rises full of energy.
He enters his princess's room, finding it empty.
👀
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dollhouseirl · 2 days
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((These are early palette choices being mulled over for the character "Bucket Farce" by the highly super talented and incredible @lotus-start!!! This is his first game apparently??? I can't believe that. Everyone ever ask this wonderful person for help except leave space for me to do so sometime okay???
Bucket Farce is the OOC of Plot Twists and will be appearing for the first time in Purple Prose. He can be considered to be a kind of trickster or chaos god.)) """"""Hi hi hi hi hi hiya!"""""" Whammo. Got 'em in one, heh heh. Never let 'em predict your first move, that's what I always say JUST KIDDING! Pow! Got 'em again.
Six of me at once. Some people would call that a crying shame (like <a certain famous funnyman voice> mY wIFE) but you know you love it or, plot twist for ya, you're gonna. 1: "So which one of us is gonna take the lead?" 2: "I dunno, I thought you were." 3: "HE was? But I thought it was gonna be ME!" 4 (They Call Him...Mister Blue): "Pretty sure it's gonna be me and all y'alls are gonna frighten off the ladies. 5: "Pretty sure it's 'hoes' around these parts. Y'know, scaring the hoes, not good." 6 (Call Him Mister Less Blue): "Don't call them hoes! In this house! We! RESPECT WOMEN!" This could've gone on for a while if I wanted it. You guys don't really get it. I'm good at this kinda thing. Too good, even. My buddy ol pal ol friend always says, "Bucket, my good best buddy in the whole wide world," (imagine he says it but sadder, my pal, he's gotta get more Vitamin D), "you're too good at this. People do not like it. You should be singular like me." I'm singular. I'm lookin' to mingular, if you catch my drift. 4: "Okay but seriously. They're looking at us funny. This is too much. Humans, they don't like staring down at six different flavors of dude." 3: "Well it sure isn't going to be you, 4, aren't you an unlucky number?" 4: "I am? Where?" 2: "A beautiful country of some kind. Am I the only one who's done any of the homework before manifesting?" 1: "Mmmmmmmmmmmaybe." ^_^; 5: "I hate to see it (homework)." -_- 6: "Uh, wait, but guys, in fact, I shouldn't even be saying guys-" 4: <looking like he's starting to either see or be a bit of a snack> Is anyone else thinking of walking cheeseburgers? Or is it just me? I also just really, really think this is my color. What do we all think? 1, 2, 3, 5, 6: ............................................. I stood around in a circle, in formation, ignorant of you guys watching me because, to be honest, like, I'm a funny little guy, aren't I? If I'm not amusing you yet, I will. I'm just bein' a little silly. I clean up the mess I've made without blinking an eye or having a thought. I'm me. My nature is discerned precisely as I wish for it to be. I have a secret fundamental to the universe itself and they tell me it's a real doozy! Six of one, half dozen of the other, ultimately ultimately though... 4: <after a long silence> Yep. Just a silly little guy. We can call me...Mister Blue, no no no wait, I say in response to a withering glare and sigh from my friend, my buddy, the OOC of Endings you can't see him he's off camera. That guy is always being so serious, sigh, I get it. 4: Let's take this from the top! Hiya hiya hiya cuties! How's it going! My name is Bucket Farce! With that, I take a bow, deep down to the floor. I form my adorable face into the most profound expression I have observed on my way towards this weird little place with so many weird little people to do weird little things with. 4: Let's have fun together! :3 I promise nothing weird will happen at all!!! ------------------------------------------------- Kind of a rough idea. Still experimenting with how it feels to be around these guys. You'll all see some of that in the finished VN. Bucket Farce is someone for whom physicality and form are suggestions. He is a shapeshifter. The only rule he follows is that he must always have a head and that head is always covered in a bucket. I'll leave to your imagination what all that could mean but it does mean it is as nothing to him to be six people at once and to just as quickly be just one person.
He identifies as a 'he' but it is a shorthand and matter of convenience. In truth, he could be anything under the bucket and has just chosen to identify as a silly little guy as opposed to something boring or profound or difficult to explain. He is a cute character with some amazing sprites in store. I believe one inspiration was Dimentio and that Lotus has spent time in Sonic fan spaces as an artist. I believe that all shines through clearly here for a character I hope will be memorable when you all meet him. ^^ As always, stay tuned. I share as I get things to share and we're really picking up on the way towards the July 1st deadline for the jam.
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fisheito · 4 months
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i told myself that yakuei only had one position then i proved myself (sorta) wrong
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my fave face here:
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#technically... if they were boinking in outer space... a lot of these would be the same position#makes a rotate-y gesture with my fingers#what is yakumo's kabedon if not a vertical missionary#so i've half proven myself right AND wrong! i'm net neutral in outer space broskis!!!!!#zizz-asdf if ur reading these tags i'll have u know that u inspired me to Do the Research1#like. 5 garu riding eiden? no. it can't be. does yaku do one specific thing with eiden 5 times? *tries to write it down*#i can't quite... what's the word for that position...uhhhh#ah forget it i'll just draw it out#<- that was the process of creating this. collage? 😆#THE MATRIX OF YAKUEI BOINKINg POSITIONS (under construction)#when u about to be semi-normal and make a spreadsheet but ur sexcabulary is stunted so you resort to visuals instead#legit opening up every intimacy room and skipping thru sections to get as complete a picture as possible#wondering... where are yaku's feet planted in this one. (skips to 8minute mark)#ah! there they are. theyre not supporting his weight in this one *draws it*#while drawing crimson phantom room 2 my brow was furrowed and i was mentally narrating#[and this one i affectionately call.. rectal exam - professional misconduct Grounds for Termination)]#surprised they str8 up havent done classicdoggstyle yet. is it because he's a snake? garu should teach him#also surprised that there's been no Light SSR for yaku yet. come on!! Light mode on the double!#uhhh i think the only repeated positions were freestanding (choco liqueur r2 and dark nova r2)#and standing AGAINST! THE! WALL! (choco liqueur r5 {interior} and shadow lineage r5 {cave})#wait. *throws papers around* i swear they did missionary more than once. was it only ocean breeze???#i know with the intimacy rooms they gotta modify the positions into certain angles to make it...look...better#but seriously? only one missionary out of the lot of them? despite the aesthetic tweaks??? how can that ........#*tosses more papers around with increasing befuddlement* WHERE IS MY PURE 100% VANILLA BEAN ICE CREAM#sighs as all the papers lie scattered on the ground#dude... i don't know anymore..... this is beyond my scope#now that i see how evenly spread out the positions are...#i BET the devs have SOME SORTA CHART tracking yaku's positions. now THAT'S a funky office corkboard!#yakuei#nu carnival eiden
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katyspersonal · 1 year
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Top 5 Elden Ring's demigods
Argh... Could you've given me any HARDER top to make? :') No matter who I put below 5th place, I will feel like a huge prick @_@ Because they all deserve some praise, and some love. It is just incredibly good writing. Well, fine then, let's try.
Five - Morgott!
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I talked about him already. The absolute tear-jerker character, a member of oppressed minority, that is defending the very corrupt system that deems people like HIM worthless.... He made me cry (/srs ) more than once upon just this sentiment. He is very realistic, and very easy to sympathise with and feel bad for. He certainly radiates a giant soft spot, though (and not JUST because he has dad bod that is completely naked under his robes, hahaha). In a weird way, he reminds me of Asg0re, a character from my other fandom - a big "monster" King who did a lot of bad things on his way, and because of his mental wound, but in the end might melt upon a simple hug or be easily convinced. It is just not what a Soulsborne game would've let us experience, but... honestly, he has not only huge muscles, but also a huge HEART. I love this combination a LOT, it pulls the richest spectrum of emotions.
Four - Malenia!
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She is such a beautiful and impressive boss.... ...that I never talk about her. x) I can't quite explain how my focus works, sorry </3 She scares me a little - and it is not even her fault, but the thing that casually claimed her body, because superior deities have nothing better to do I guess :/ She is holding up very well for someone who has to live in a constant struggle with the horror plaguing her very being. And for someone having to hold up as a warrior of her dear brother's interests despite her body rotting as she goes. And having to repeat 'I am Malenia, blade of Miquella' like a mantra, since Rot is infamous to destroy the memories, and she must not forget what and who she is fighting for.
"She deserved better" is an understatement, I'd say. Her personality shines through the 'influence' that has been ruining her quite well, I'd say. She is a strong warrior, very determined, but very full of honor and love at the same time. I say this in every other post about strong Soulsborne characters, yeah. True bravery is not lack of fear but going despite fear, true power is not being callous unbreakable wall but to still hold your weapon firm through struggle and pain, true personality is what you ARE and not what you are 'not', etc etc. It is always about the feelings.
Three - Godwyn!
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I could not explain why he made it to this place very well, honestly. First, he stroke my weird spider-sense intuition. I was going into Elden Ring mostly in blind, and still keep whatever I can to be revealed as I go! Thus, I did not know anything about Godwyn besides the fact that he was the golden child (metaphorically and literally) that went down as sacrifice during Night of the Black Knives as one having his soul killed. And that he used to be a lovely person. But one day, as I was playing Elden Ring and progressing casually, from nowhere, for no reason, I started to think of this character. Again, for no reason, I was thinking of the 'Deep Sea' and imagining him becoming a mermaid (?), and healing/truly dying/letting new soul grow/whatever by returning to the sea. I even started crying, and I swear, those emotions felt like they were not even mine.
It felt very random, but you can't even imagine my surprise when that same day, I just coincidentally travelled to THAT location, and found him. And, coincidentally, he was posed like this with a mermaid tail. I take weird 'intuition moments' (dreams or waking) very personally as I have many of them (and funny enough, they always have to do with the 'sea' theme). No matter how I feel about this character in the future, but the weird "foretelling", "intuition" bond fixed my attention, so yeah.
He seems like a very loveable person, though... From narration standpoint, it does make the most sense that he of all people had to suffer this way. It just would not have had the same effect if someone less likeable/innocent had to go down. It is... sad, how much of this character is his tragedy alone. But, he befriended a dragon and bridged the gap between conflicting forces, and from what I gathered losing him specifically was what broke Marika, and Mohg named his new dynasty after himself AND Godwyn. Clearly, the guy was the best thing to ever have been associated with the Golden Order, and manifesting everything good about it within his personality alone. Whenever I bash the Golden Order as inherently corrupt thing, I just always think back on Godwyn as a confirmed exception from the judgement. And, of course, he would have enough "kindness" to spread death as new form of existence... despite the fact that his 'true' self would've probably dreaded to manifest living in death of all things.
Two - Rykard
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I talked about this guy since the day ONE I've picked even remote interest in Elden Ring, isn't it so? @_@ Well, I still stand by what I was talking about. Tanith is absolutely justified for being obsessed with this guy. He is like uh... Aldr1ch but executed much better, or rather, in more sympathetic light? I for one honor the narrative of a character who has the GUTS, the S P I N E to sacrifice a lot, their morals included, to just get OUT of the corrupt (!) way their world works. And I have a feeling that so does Miyazaki. x) I think it is a twisted sort of bravery that we are lucky to never experience and only perceive through fiction. But, unlike Aldr1ch, who revels in his corruption and the horrible things he has to do, Rykard, 1) has a loving family and 2) hinted to have or have had sympathetic traits and simply lost his way from.... heheh.... biting more than he could chew... xd heheh... :drum emoji because I am a comedy genius:
But, in either case, ya'll are lucky that the guy is happily married. Ya'll would not survive the intensity of my thirst otherwise. It is just my rule to not touch married characters. I still admire the guy though. Not to mention the fucking UNREAL AWESOME FUCKING DESIGN, one of the best I've seen ANYWHERE, and him having my favorite theme in entire Elden Ring. Like, it was legitimately hard to live down the crisis of him being "taken", because this guy is really loveable, both as a man and as a monster.
One - Ranni!
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Honestly, I always liked the mysterious aura, the clairvoyance and the uhhh... I guess, machiavellianism of this character? "Ends justify the means" character who does some unforgivable things but believes there is no other choice, and the grander purpose is more important. But, she has so many layers. She stepped away from her mother's teachings yet still created a badass illusions to protect her and clearly loves her forever, she has trust issues but in the end needs true friends and true kindness (something even an idiot like Seluvis can see!).
You could see it hurt her to do all that, but whatever freedom could be was worth it. She is just a very complicated character, that goes above and beyond. Letting her own body be killed is badass but understandable, since her body was inextricably tied to the Golden Order, as an Empyrean. Letting her somewhat-brother who was a genuinely good and radiant and loveable person be killed? That's a bit... more drastic... And so on. Indeed, she IS like Rykard in how far she had to go, and how much she had to sacrifice, but nonetheless I uh... would not say she lost clarity of her mind like him? It is interesting how by Dante's Divine Comedy though, Herecy is associated with fire but only on 6th level, yet it is treachery that is considered to be THE sin of sins, and it is the lowest level, and associated with ice, like her element. I am thinking about this very often @_@"
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Honorable mention - Radahn!
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Sorry, but I love the guy, despite lack of deep discussion (and becoming a mascot of the most toxic fans). This is ADORABLE that he learned Gravity Magic just so he could still ride Leonard. He appears to be such a goofy dumbass, wholesome person in the "wrong" way, opposing a character that is actually likeable and loyal to the things and people that arguably never deserved it?
But you know I am a huge fan of Rom Bloodb0rne, right? He gives off the exact same 'person that seizes and conceals the horrors of the cosmos from humanity, although their personality and intellect are gone' vibe. It is just... that same vibe of a "silly" character, the comic relief, that turns out to either face a tragic fate or reveals a much deeper personality. He is simple and complicated at the same time! And, well, him having been such a legendary and impressive warrior that so many people gathered just to give him honorable death. This is somewhat impressive. He was actually a very close tie with Malenia.
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amaraudermind · 1 year
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YOU'RE SOOOOO RIGHT ABOUT EZRA YOU'RE SO RIGHT IT'S LIKE YOU LOOKED INTO MY HEAD AND WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN
he's so in tune with the force I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS
NO YOU'RE RIGHT HE IS
And it's like. Being in tune with the force is one thing, right? Lots of Jedi are, lots of force users in general are, even!
But like. Okay so Hera mentioned in the pilot that Ezra opening the Holocron being a level of test, right? And it sounded like she and Kanan had discussed before something about him opening the Holocron meaning Kanan would train him.
But that's such a horrible test! In clone wars they specified that you could only open a Jedi Holocron as a Jedi. You had to be so dialed in specifically on the light side of the force.
So walk with me here. Ezra Bridger. He not only has a strong connection to the force. He not only instinctively calls on it without knowing a thing about it. He effortlessly tunes into the light side of the force, like it's as natural as breathing.
"but Void" I hear from the crowd "Ezra also tunes into the dark side of the force"
Indeed. Yes. Correct.
No but just stick with my crazed rambling for a sec okay? Because the dark side is supposed to be the easy path, the one that's so simple to fall into, it calls to force users, I mean, we see that the dark side is exactly that time and again.
I bring this up because. It's not for Ezra. The first time he grasps for the dark side he's in a panic, and it hurts him. It does get them away from the grand inquisitor but it almost doesn't. And the next time? It's after encouragement from Maul, and even then he's having to actively pursue it. He has to try to use the dark side.
And, because I think of this oh so much, when Maul needs him to open the Jedi Holocron--after he's been using the dark side and frequently, mind you--Ezra still can.
And like I have so many more incoherent thoughts about him and his force connection there's just so much he has taken up my entire brain<3
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discocactusblogs · 3 months
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🕯️
#how to keep hopeful when you feel like God's not going to give you the one thing youre hoping for#how to keep from being angry at God because you just don't see movement in your life in this one area#yet when you pray for God's will#He assures you you're where He wants you#I have never wanted this thing before and now that I'm older I find myself longing for it#It's hard to listen to my parents when their only answer to everything is “pray about it” as if I havent been doing so for years#It's hard to take their whole “be patient” speech seriously when my mom married at 21#My dad only slightly understands but I feel like its different at the same time#I was perfectly fine in church until the Pastor told a story about a married couple and the whole church was laughing while I nearly cried#I am the only single lady in my church on top of the only single person in my age group#I'm not even sure why God gave me this desire for marriage and a family#I feel like “God why would you give me this burning desire to have a family and marriage that glorifies and honors you if you weren't going#to give me said thing?“#I'm asking God to help me enjoy being single but at the same time I feel myself starting to grow bitter and thats something I dont want.#I know not everyone is called to be married and thats what's got me messed up and angry because if I'm not called to marriage#why did He give me the desire for it? I feel like that's just cruel and I know God isn't mean or cruel#also sorry Narni for stealing the way you rant lol#I feel bad everytime I post a rant and using tags seems to work better so I don't feel so bad
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whysamwhy123 · 7 months
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Me - ''I want to get better about writing shorter stuff and just putting it out there without thinking too much about it. So I'm just gonna write a short little OrangeHook drabble about Hook being a cuddlebug. It'll be a couple hundred words at most, just a cute little thing, it doesn't have to be a whole fic or tell a complete story or anything like that. Just fluff!''
Me - *writes 1.5k words and is still not done, thinks way too hard about it, feelings are now involved and discussed at some length, there's multiple asides and unnecessary details, silly moments abound and of course, there's age jokes*
Why.
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anguis-sapphire · 9 months
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mmmph you can tell if negative feelings are persistent if the song you always jam out to is not helping with them
I was distracted by Several Happenings in the process of making this post but i'm still saying screw it and posting it
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rayveewrites · 2 years
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Sorry for the quiet lately! I have been depresssed and then my brain got taken over by Splatoon. Because Splatoon.
Seriously this series is so good you guys-
I love Deep Cut I love the Squid Sisters I love Callie I love the squid parties between matches I love Cap'n Cuttlefish's redesign I love the lockers I love the holo stickers I love Harmony I love Smallfry I love the story mode I love my New Agent 3 (her name is Ada) I love the music-
The only thing I'm sad about is the loss of all the Hero Weapons aside from the Hero Shot but it's still early days so I can cross my fingers and hope that the Hero Roller (My Beloved) will return.
And also Off the Hook. They'd better show up at some point.
(Also, my Switch friend code is SW-2868-5995-5471 if any of yall also have switches. Not neccesarily Sploon, just the switch :3)
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javiscigarette · 5 months
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Teacher's Pet
Joel Miller x virgin f!reader
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Summary: 25 years old, anxiety-ridden, and still a virgin, you ask your friend Joel for advice on your upcoming date. But you're more of a...hands-on learner. And he's more than happy to help. 
Warnings: PWP, unbalanced power dynamics, virgin!reader, neighbor/bff/more experienced! Joel, age gap, first kiss, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), frequent check-ins, soo much banter and Joel is a menace also so soft and sweet :')....(ends on a cliffhanger but there will be a part two I swear).
w/c: 7.7k idk what happened
a/n: I am resurfacing for your monthly reminder that I do in fact still write!! Inspiration for this came out of literally nowhere but I took it and RAN with it and I think I like it?? As always, thank you to my baby love @undrthelights for helping me with this and always listening to my rambling and for being my biggest enabler Ilysm
Part Two
my masterlist
"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever." Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck pound in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed. "A what?" "Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head.  "No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?” 
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"Seriously, Joel. Fuck off" you snap but with no bite or heat behind it. You bring the sweating bottle of beer to your lips and finish the rest of the now lukewarm liquid off in one gulp. 
"What? I just find it hard to believe that you've never even had a kiss. Didn't you go to high school? Didn't you ever get invited to a party? Didn't you go to college? College kids do the do like all the time” 
"Clearly not all the time" you mutter, a tad bitterly.
Joel raises his hands defensively and takes a sip of his own beer. "Just seems crazy is all. There's gotta be some chick or dude out there willing to take pity on you and pop your cherry."
You audibly gag at his choice of words. "I don't need a pity fuck, thanks." You stand from the couch and head over to the fridge. The bottles of cold alcohol inside are calling your name and you want something that will help soothe your nerves. You're not a big drinker, but when Joel is prying into your love life like he is now, you wish you were.
"Okay,” he starts from the living room. “Maybe I worded that wrong. What I meant to say was, there's gotta be someone out there who would be more than willing to show you a good time."
You groan and let your forehead fall against the fridge door. "That's the whole point! I came here to get advice for my date, someone who might actually be interested in me, and all you've done is make fun of me for not having fucked anyone yet. So thanks, Joel. You're a real pal."
You push away from the fridge and slam the door shut, a second beer in hand.
"Alright, alright, calm down." He says, hands in the air as if you were holding him at gunpoint as you head back to the couch. "Look, if this guy really likes you then he's not gonna care. Probably won't even be able to tell if you are or aren't."
"You think so?" You ask hopefully.
"Well, I mean, unless you're like... super bad."
Your heart drops into your stomach and you glare at him, "Joel."
"Oh come on, I'm kidding. You're not gonna be bad, okay? Just, go into it with an open mind and just relax. If he tries something you're not comfortable with or makes you feel weird, tell him. And if he gets pissy, dump his ass."
"That simple, huh?" You scoff.
"Well, yeah. You're the one who made it complicated by thinking it was a big deal."
"It is a big deal, Joel! I know nothing!
"Nothing? You ain’t ever watched porn? Jesus, I had no idea you were such a prude."
You can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes and slapping the back of your hand against his arm. He yelps and laughs, rubbing his arm.
"I've watched porn before" you retort. 
"What kind?" he asks with a wiggle of his brows.
"None of your fucking business" you respond, feeling your face heat up.
Joel's lips quirk into a shit-eating grin and you're quick to smack him again.
"Okay okay, sorry!" he says through his laughter. "So what exactly are you afraid of?"
You're not really sure how to answer. It's a combination of so many things, most of which are irrational fears and insecurities. Sure you've seen it all done before, but you're well aware that none of it is realistic. At least, not completely. And just the fact that you're freshly 25 years old without a single notch in your bedpost makes you dizzy with anxiety. It's not like you're saving yourself or anything, it's just that hook up culture has never agreed with you and there's never been an opportunity that made you feel like it was the right one. That is until now, with your cute coworker who you thought was miles out of your league asking you out on a third date. And now, the prospect of being in bed with him is looming over you like a dark cloud and the last thing you want to do is mess it up.
"I guess, I'm just afraid that he's gonna be disappointed, or I'm gonna weird him out, or I'm gonna do something wrong and embarrass myself.” Joel nods along and listens. "And if it is bad then we still have to work with each other and then what if it's awkward and everyone knows about it and then he hates me and--"
"Okay, whoa slow down there, buddy" Joel says, putting a hand on your shoulder. "One, you're overthinking this. You're literally thinking like, five steps ahead of what's actually going on. It's a date. And even if it does end up in the bedroom, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. No one's forcing you, okay? He can't. No one can."
"I know, but I want to," you reply quietly.
"Alright. Then do."
"I don't know howwww!! " you whine, flopping backwards into the couch.
Joel groans and sits up a little straighter, scrubbing a hand down his face. 
"Well, there's no magic trick, I don't have a secret sex manual I'm holding out on ya."
You sigh, shoulders sagging as you look over at him. The idea comes out of nowhere, well, not exactly from nowhere, but it pops in your head so fast that you then have to bite your tongue before the words bubbling up from your throat come tumbling out. 
It's not a bad idea, not necessarily. 
You've been good friends with Joel ever since you moved in next door last year. An unlikely pairing, a 40 year old contractor and an almost 25 year old office worker. But after offering him a six pack as part of introducing yourself to the neighbors, you'd gotten along fabulously. He fixes things around your house and you send him home with hot dinners and warm, gooey cookies and you watch movies together almost every Friday night.
 It's an easy friendship, open and honest and supportive, and Joel has never given you reason not to trust him. He's a good guy, if not a little brash, but you know deep down he means well. And it doesn't hurt that he's objectively attractive, with his tall and sturdy frame, strong, calloused hands, dark messy curls....It's not a bad idea.
It's an absolutely insane idea. 
You continue to stare at him, clenching your teeth together to hold back the question sitting on the tip of your tongue.
"What?" he says, looking back at you.
"Nothing" you mutter, eyes flicking away.
"You've got that face you make when you're about to say something really stupid, so just get it out."
You glare at him again, not enjoying the way he can read you so well.
"I wasn't gonna say anything."
"Well now you're lying."
"I'm not."
"You're doing it again!"
"Doing what?!"
"That face!"
"I'm not making a face!"
"Yes you are! Just spit it out!"
You groan and hide your face in your hands. You blame it on the one beer even though you know you’re not anywhere close to being drunk because how else would you justify what you’re about to say? You wait a moment, thinking about the weight of it but your mouth opens before you can stop yourself. 
"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever."
Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck and hear it in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed.
"A what?"
"Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head. 
"No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?” 
His eyes are wide, and he looks incredulous. You can't blame him, because the more time that passes between your suggestion and now, the more ridiculous the idea seems.
"I’m sorry, that was…It was stupid. Pretend I didn't say anything. Let's just watch a movie." You move to grab the remote, but Joel's hand covers yours, stopping you.
"Is that what you want?"
You look at him, searching his expression for any sign of disgust or apprehension. But all you can see is the same Joel you've known for months, patient, warm, and understanding.
"I know. I know it's stupid. But I can't get this date out of my head, Joel. It's all I can think about and the more I do, the more worried I get and I just don't want to fuck it up. And I know we're friends and this is weird and gross, but I just thought that... maybe, I could have some practice, so to speak."
He doesn't say anything. Just keeps looking at you, the panic rising in your chest the longer the silence stretches. You start to fidget, wringing your hands together in your lap.
"I'm sorry, that was way out of line" you say, moving to stand up, your skin sweaty and hot with embarrassment and your feet ready to run out the door and never come back. 
But Joel catches your wrist, gently pulling you back down to sit next to him.
"Joel" you whine, not wanting him to humiliate you any further.
"It's okay, come here."
His voice is softer than before, and his eyes are kind. You let him pull you closer, the two of you sitting knee to knee. You can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes, not with your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning like they are, but Joel doesn't push. He simply moves his hand from your wrist, sliding it into yours. His palms are rough and warm, and the simple touch alone is comforting.
"You really wanna do this?” he asks softly. You can feel his eyes boring into you. “I mean, I'm not exactly a prize winning catch. And it's not like there's a shortage of willing men out there."
You shrug and chew the inside of your lip.
"Yeah, but you're my friend and I...I trust you."
There's another pause, and you wish that you could just disappear into the couch and erase this moment from your memory.
"How drunk are you?" he asks, glancing at the beer bottle on the coffee table.
"You saw me finish one bottle. And half of another. I’m barely tipsy."
"Not drunk?”
"Nope."
"You're gonna remember this tomorrow."
"Uh huh."
"And you still want to?"
You groan for the millionth time and squeeze his hand.
"Yes I want to! Look, if you don't want to then that's fine. It was just a dumb suggestion and we can just forget this ever happened."
He hums, considering your words. His hand slips out of yours, and you think that's it, you've scared him off and washed the friendship down the drain. That you'll have to hide from him from now on, that you'll have to pack your things up and move because the mortification would be too much, and that he'll hate you, and—
His two fingers sliding under chin surprise you, and he tilts your head up. He's looking down at you with that same even expression, eyes big, soft, and warm as he slides his hand over to cup your jaw in his palm. 
"If you want to stop at any point, just say so, okay? I won't be upset and we can go back to the way things were before. Got it?"
You nod, your throat suddenly too tight to speak. His thumb sweeps over your cheekbone, the tender touch is enough to make your heart skip a beat. There’s no way this is actually happening. That your first kiss is going to be with your 40 year old menace of a neighbor. That you’re going to, how did you put it, get a sex lesson from him. His gaze flicks down to your lips and back up to your eyes and you’re positive you’re no longer able to breathe. 
"Can I kiss you?" he asks softly. You nod. 
You're sure he can hear the thumping of your heart in his own ears as he leans down. His other hand comes to rest on your hip and when his lips touch yours, a soft, tentative pressure, you're not prepared for the electricity that shoots through you.
He's barely done anything and already you feel like you're floating. Your own hands reach out to clutch his shirt, keeping him close, afraid he'll pull away and leave you cold and wanting if you don't. But he stays put, pressing himself against you, his lips working gently against yours. You follow his lead, kissing him back while trying not to overthink it.
It's nothing like the kisses in the movies or the books, where fireworks explode behind your eyelids or where your foot pops up in the air. It's far more subdued, more quiet and subtle. But the warmth that pools low in your belly and the goosebumps that erupt on your skin when his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, light and quick, makes you absolutely melt. 
He pulls back before you can really react, and you're left with a dizzying rush of both blistering desire and excruciating anxiety. You want to pull him back in and never let him go. But your heart is beating so fast you can hardly breathe, your nerves are buzzing, and the urge to run and hide is nearly paralyzing. 
"Was it bad?" you ask tentatively, cheeks heated.
"No" he replies, giving your hip a squeeze as a smirk plays on his lips. "It was fucking awful. Worst kiss of my life"
"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing him away with a hand on his chest. He laughs, the sound easing some of the tension in your body. 
"I'm just teasing" he says, voice dropping lower. "C'mere, we can work on it."
His lips find yours again, and you try not to smile into the kiss but it's hard when you can feel the way his lips are quirked up as well. It doesn’t take much else to get you to relax and let yourself fall into the moment, into the gentle press of his mouth and the warm hands on your hip and your cheek. He swipes his tongue against your lips again, his fingers pressing lightly into the hinge of your jaw to tilt your head back and coax your lips apart.
You let him, sighing as his tongue glides across yours, hot and smooth and sweet. Your hands slide up his chest, finding purchase around his shoulders, and when you move forward, pushing yourself against him, he grunts softly but lets you. He kisses you until the both of you are gasping for air, and when he pulls back, his lips are wet and red and you're certain yours must be as well.
"Better?" you ask, a bit breathless.
"Getting there" he answers with, his breath warm where it fans across your cheek. 
"You're such a liar" you say with a goofy smile.
"Yeah, I know. Now try again, practice makes perfect.” 
You roll your eyes but lean back in nonetheless. It's a bit more heated this time, the feeling of his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip making you squirm. His hand rounds over your hip, palm smoothing to the small of your back to pull you closer, the heat of his body radiating through your clothes and warming your skin. Your hands move on their own accord, no thought behind the action as they slide up to his shoulders and then his neck, your fingers finding home in the curls at the base of his skull. When you give them a slight tug, you're rewarded with a muffled grunt from Joel. Emboldened, you pull back, lips swollen and tingling.
"You’re a good kisser,” you pant. "Is that something people usually say?"
"When it’s true" he says, grinning at you. "And since I know you're gonna ask, I'd say that was a C+, maybe a B-."
You scoff but blush furiously at the smile he flashes, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
"Well then, tell me what to do next. What do I need to know?"
Joel hums as he thinks for a moment. 
"What do you want to do?"
You stare at him for a second, blinking.
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you" you say, shaking your head a bit.
"Well, how far do you want to take this?"
You swallow hard, suddenly feeling very shy. You can’t deny that when the idea popped in your head it was accompanied by the mental image of you naked, spread out on his bed, but the actual act of asking him, or better yet, actually doing it is... intimidating to say the least. Are you really about to let him go all the way, to see you bare and vulnerable, let him pop your cherry as he would disgustingly put it? All just to “prepare” for a date with a guy who might not even like you that way?
Yeah, probably.
"All the way" you answer. “I want to go all the way” 
He doesn’t pounce on you like you expected, doesn’t press his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss that you had half hoped for. Instead, he simply looks at you, his brown eyes boring into yours, searching.
"Are you sure? You can always say no and you're not gonna lose me as a friend if this isn’t what you actually want. I don’t want you thinking that."
You can't help the laugh that bubbles up and slips out, because of course Joel, your kind, thoughtful Joel, would say that. He's a good man. A great one, even.
"Yes, I'm sure. But if you don't want to, I get it, I can just leave and-"
Joel laughs, the sound traveling up from deep in his chest, the rumble vibrating against you.
"Sweetheart, I wouldn't be doin’ this if I didn't want to. Just makin’ sure this is what you really want."
"I want it.” 
He squeezes your hip and swipes a thumb over your cheekbone once again. 
“Alright then.” He nods, firm and resolute, and then looks around the room. “ We’re not doing it here, though. If you're getting the full Joel Miller experience, we're gonna do it right.” 
Your eyes roll reflexively, but your heart picks up its pace regardless.
"I’m not gonna do anything if you call it that ever again."
"Fine, fine,” he relents. “Let me show you what a good, thorough fucking feels like. Better?"
Your jaw drops, and he's laughing at you, his body shaking with amusement.
"Fuck you" you grumble, shoving him away while trying to hide your coy smile. 
"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for," he says with a wide, self-assured grin.
"I'm leaving" you declare with a false sense of offense as you rise to your feet. Joel is quick to do the same and before you can take a single step away, he slips a finger through the belt loop of your jeans and tugs you back into him, wrapping an arm around your waist.
"I’ll stop, I’ll stop. I'm sorry" he says, not sounding it one bit.
You huff, but let him pull you closer until you’re pressed against his chest and you have to tilt your head back to look at him.
"I’ll be good. I promise."
"Liar"
"Well, yeah. But I can promise that I'll make you feel good."
You can't help the giggle that spills out and he kisses it away, his lips warm and plush and sweet against yours. The hand not resting on your lower back comes up, curling around the nape of your neck and keeping you close. You sink into him, and the fog creeps in again, dulling the rest of the world, making it seem fuzzy and distant, like the memory of a dream. All you can focus on is him, the warm solid weight of him against you, the strong arms holding you, the way his mouth moves against yours. And then he’s pulling back all too soon and you have to stifle a whine.
"Come on" he says, tugging at your hand.
His bedroom is dim, the little lamp on his nightstand and the faint glow of the moon through the curtains providing the only light. You swallow and take a deep breath as you step inside, your bare toes digging into the plush carpet, his hand warm and large where it grips yours.
He holds onto you as he sits on the edge of the bed. You step forward, letting him pull you between his knees. His hands settle on your hips, and you can feel their heat through the fabric of your shirt.
He doesn’t ask if you're sure again and you’re grateful because you’re not sure if you could form any kind of response right now. Instead, he slides his hands up and under your shirt, fingers dancing across your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps. Your breath hitches as his hands smooth over your ribs and around to your back, the tips of his fingers mapping out the curve of your spine, skimming over each notch and bump. They climb higher, the fabric of your shirt bunching around his wrists. 
“Can I take this off, baby?”
Your heart jumps to your throat but you nod anyway. He grabs the hem and tugs your shirt up and and you lift your arms so he can slip it off over your head. He tosses it aside, the fabric falling to the floor beside the bed. You’re left exposed, vulnerable and bare, save for the worn out bra you wear, a few too many washes and a few years past its prime.
Your hands itch where they hang by your side with the instinct to cover yourself, hide the imperfections that you know so well, the stretch marks, the softness of your stomach, the way the cups of your bra are just a bit too small and spill over the tops.
But then he’s pressing his lips to the space just above your navel, his scruff tickling your skin and making the muscles in your abdomen jump and twitch. His hands find your waist again, and when his lips continue their path upwards, his palms follow, skimming up your sides, thumbs tracing the outline of your ribs before stopping at the band of your bra.
"This too?" he asks, voice quiet and husky.
"Yeah" you answer with a squeak, and he grins like a kid in a candy store.
His fingers undo the clasp deftness that makes your knees go weak, the straps slipping from your shoulders and the whole thing sliding down your arms, landing somewhere near your shirt. 
"God, baby, look at you" he murmurs, his hands cupping the underside of your breasts, his thumbs sweeping over the tops and then down the slope and around your nipple. Your breath hitches, the gentle touch sending a shiver up your spine. "You're fucking perfect."
The praise is unexpected and it sends a jolt of heat through your core. You whimper quietly and his hands are on you again, the calloused palms rough on the soft skin of your breasts. He kneads the flesh, squeezing gently before rolling your nipples between his fingers, pulling and pinching and teasing. 
He pulls you closer and ducks his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He looks up at you through his lashes, eyes dark and hooded, and his pupils blown wide with desire.
"Can I?" he asks.
"Please."
He leans in and wraps his lips around a peaked nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, the gentle heat of his mouth on your skin making your knees weak.
His mouth works on one breast, tongue flicking and teasing while his free hand continues its work on the other. Pleasure builds and coils deep inside, the sensation unfamiliar but certainly not unwelcome. You whimper and he pulls away, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before giving it a sweet parting kiss.
He turns his attention to the other, his teeth grazing over the stiff peak and drawing a whine from your lips. He sighs when your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at the strands until he groans softly against you. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, the flat of his tongue pressing against it and dragging up and around, swirling and flicking. You’re already breathless, panting, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on your forehead.
"Feels good, Joel," you whisper shyly. 
"I know, honey" he says, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he pulls away. "Feel good anywhere else?"
He doesn't wait for a response, simply slips a hand between your thighs, cupping you through the denim, the simple action making you squeak.
"Here, huh?" he says, the heel of his palm pressing against you.
You gasp softly and nod, biting your lip, too shy to say anything.
"Get on the bed, baby."
You comply, crawling onto the mattress and scooting backwards towards the pillows, sitting at the head of the bed as you watch him. His eyes never leave you as he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. Your heart thumps as you stare at his bare chest, his tanned skin dotted with a light dusting of salt and pepper hair. He's broad, his shoulders thick and chest solid. Your fingers burn with the urge to reach out and touch him, so you do, extending a tentative, slightly shaky hand.
He watches you closely, eyes flitting down to the palm pressed against his chest before meeting yours again, his mouth curling into a smile.
"You can touch" he says, reaching down to curl a hand around your wrist and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the center of your palm before guiding your hand back down to his chest. "I think most people would enjoy that."
"You're having entirely too much fun with this,” you mumble while your fingers spread out across his pec.  
"It is fun" he counters, his own hand sliding up the inside of your thigh, thumb pressing against the seam of your jeans and rubbing up and down. "But it'll be more fun once these come off"
Your lips part, a puff of air rushing out.
"You gonna take them off?" you ask, the words slipping out, bold and unbidden.
He grins, his brow quirking up.
"Look at you, being all bossy"
"You like it" you say, finally feeling some of the anxiety slipping away, the familiar and comfortable banter between the two of you slipping into place in a new, unfamiliar situation.
His smile takes up nearly his whole face as moves closer. 
“I sure do.” 
He looms over you, bracing himself on an elbow next to your head before ducking down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth, warm and insistent. You sigh into it, your hands finding the warm, bare skin of his back, muscles gliding beneath your palms as you slide them up and around, fingertips digging into his shoulders. He's so warm and solid and you can't help the little noise that slips out, a soft, needy moan. You're about to break the kiss and beg him to touch you, give you something, anything, but he pulls back before you can. 
"Impatient. I like that too" he says, voice barely above a whisper.
He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then down your neck, his beard scraping against your skin. He continues his path, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones and down the valley between your breasts, his beard tickling your sternum.
His palm presses into the top of your thigh, and you instinctively open your legs for him, his hand immediately moving to cup you through the denim, thick fingers pressing against the seam and the bundle of nerves just below. Your hips rock up, seeking more pressure and he grins, entirely too pleased with himself right now.
You huff, and he laughs, the sound rumbling in his chest, but he relents, undoing the button and zipper of your jeans and tugging the fabric down, revealing the pair of pink panties underneath. 
Joel sits up, pulling your jeans down your legs and letting them drop off the side of the bed, the sound of the denim hitting the floor indicating that you've officially crossed a line that neither of you can come back from. But if the hungry, desperate look on his face and the way you're practically vibrating underneath him are any indication, neither of you want to.
"I'll start with just my fingers, yeah?" he says, his hands running up the insides of your thighs, touch light and teasing, the tips of his fingers brushing the edge of your panties. You nod dumbly, at a complete loss for words right now.
He ducks his head, his lips landing on the smooth skin stretched over your hip bone. You squirm, ticklish, and he grins. His mouth is a great distraction from his hand, which has found its way back in between your legs, his fingers now pressing against damp fabric.
"Shit" he curses, his touch firm. "Fuckin' soaked already. Am I just that good?" he quips with a smirk.
"Jesus do you ever shut up" you gripe, but the effect is ruined by the whimper that escapes you when his thumb sweeps up, pressing hard against your clit. 
"Oh, that's a pretty sound" he murmurs, repeating the motion to pull out another one, your hips bucking against his hand.
"Now," he starts, his tone shifting to the same one he uses when he's about to impart some life lesson. "This guy you're gonna see, or any man for that matter, should always take care of you before himself. That's just common fuckin' sense. And if he doesn't, you send him on his way" he continues. "Because a man that don't wanna see a woman get off is no fuckin' man at all"
You're about to interrupt, tell him he's an idiot and ask him to please, please, get on with it, but his fingers sliding under the elastic of your panties, swiftly pulling them down your legs steals the breath from your lungs. Your pulse sky rockets and you shift underneath him, crossing your thighs in instinctual effort to hide yourself from him. 
"M'sorry I didn't shave or anything" you blurt out, your throat tight with anxiety and embarrassment once again 
Joel just shakes his head as he pries your legs apart.
"Baby, I could not give less of a shit about that."
"But-"
"No" he says, the word firm, an edge of command to his tone. "You’re not apologizin’ for that. And if a man gives a shit, he's a fuckin' child who doesn't deserve the honor of bein' between these thighs" he says, pushing your knees further apart.
You nod and bite your lip, the words that are just so very Joel, settling in your chest and easing the tension in your body. You let out a long, slow breath and relax, trying to ease the nervousness.
"There ya go" he says, his fingers dancing along your slit, gathering the slick pooling there. You shudder at the gentle touch, your hips rolling up just a bit before you force them back down into the mattress, trying to keep yourself still.
"Nuh-uh. None of that" he says, immediately noticing the movement. He slides his free hand under you, his palm pushing into the small of your back and encouraging you to move again, to lean into your pleasure. "You take what you want, baby. Show me how good it feels. That's all I wanna see."
You squirm and whimper, the simple, almost lazy touch driving you insane. You've touched yourself before, brought yourself over the edge while imagining what it would be like to have the things you read about and watch in videos happen to you. But you've never managed to make yourself feel this good, never felt pleasure so intense, never felt a burning pressure in your abdomen so demanding that it radiates all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes.
And he's barely touched you.
"How's that feel?"
You can't even form the words, so you just nod and hum, the sound a mix of a whimper and a moan, your hips rolling up against his palm. He chuckles, and then the pressure increases, the friction building, his fingers slipping down, collecting more of your wetness to ease the drag against your skin.
He moves his fingers down, down, down, the tip of one circling your entrance, gathering the wetness pooling there. You whine loudly, any shame and modesty you once had replaced entirely with desperate need and pure desire.
"Please, Joel" you whisper, voice shaky.
"I gotcha" he says, dipping his fingertip in, just barely, and pulling a moan from deep in your chest. "Gonna give you what you need"
You groan, a long, low sound as he slowly sinks his finger into you. It's nothing like your own, so perfectly thick and long/ And you found the spot before, the spot that he curls his finger up into, but never at this angle, never with the perfect amount of pressure that he's applying right now. 
"Mmm, look at that" he coos as you clench tightly around his finger.
"Joel, god, feels so good" you whimper pathetically. 
"I know, honey, I know."
You clench again, the cockiness and self-assured attitude that usually gets under your skin now ignites your whole body in an entirely different way. He keeps his eyes on your face, watching as your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth drops open, your head tipping back as the pleasure builds.
"Another" you beg, the fullness not nearly enough.
"Greedy girl" he chides, but he pulls his finger out, and slides two back in. You swear that you could come from this alone, but he doesn't let you, the hand that was supporting your lower back disappearing, only to reappear between your thighs, his thumb circling your clit with firm, steady strokes.
White hot pleasure wraps around the base of your spine, the dual sensations of his fingers and his thumb sending you spiraling. The sounds falling from your lips are unrecognizable, high and desperate as your mind goes blissfully blank, your entire focus on the heat coiling in your abdomen. Your eyebrows pinch together and you bury your face in the pillow next to your head, trying to hide the ridiculous expression you're surely making, but you inhale the traces of his shampoo and cologne that cling to the fabric, the scent pushing you even closer to the edge. 
You try to hold back. Surely you're not supposed to come this quickly, not just from two fingers and a thumb. Surely that's a sign that you're an easy lay, or too inexperienced, or-
"Just let it happen, baby. I can feel it, Just let go" Joel says, his voice cutting through the thoughts racing through your mind, his fingers crooking inside you and dragging across the spot that makes your hips stutter and a cry fall from your lips.
You can't hold back any longer, the pleasure cresting and crashing down around you. You squeeze his fingers, your back arching, the heels of your feet digging into the mattress as you roll your hips up into his touch, seeking more and more and more. And he gives and gives and gives, working you through it and drawing it out for as long as he can before you melt into the mattress, bones and muscles liquid and warm and satisfied.
He pulls his fingers out, and the sudden emptiness draws a disappointed whine from you, his answering chuckle making you smile.
"That was- fuck" you sigh, not quite capable of coherent thought.
"Absolutely mind-blowing? Yeah I know" he teases. You roll your eyes but don't say anything because it's true, and his cocky grin fades into a soft smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches you return to Earth. 
"Can I- can I return the favor?" you ask, your gaze flicking down to the noticeable bulge in his jeans.
He grunts and shakes his head.
"Not yet. Got somethin' else in mind."
You frown and push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as he shifts from his position. You're about to ask what he's going to do until he's settling himself on his stomach between your thighs. You suck in a sharp breath as you realize exactly what he's got planned and your heart jumps, anxiety clouding your mind once again. 
He rests his cheek on your thigh, his eyes meeting yours.
"Alright?"
You swallow and nod, licking your lips.
"Yeah. Just... no one's ever-"
"Yeah, I got that much, that's why we're here" he says, smiling smugly when you glare at him. 
"But what if it's not good? Or I don't taste good? Or-"
"Stop" he says, the single word halting your runaway train of thought. "You need lessons in relaxing, not sex. You're so fucking tense all the time"
"Sorry" you say, immediately cringing.
He sighs, his breath ghosting over the skin of your inner thigh, making you shiver. "What did I say about apologizin'?" he says, his tone slightly sharp.
"I know. Sorry- shit, sorry! Fuck!"
He barks out a laugh and you huff, bringing up both hands to scrub over your face.
"See what I mean?"
"Yes, yes, you're very smart and know everything"
He hums and nips at your thigh.
"Damn right I do."
You want to snark back, but his mouth is moving, his lips trailing down the inside of your thigh and towards where you're aching for him, slick and wet and throbbing. He takes his time, laying kisses on your thighs, hips, and stomach, his scruff scraping the sensitive skin, huffing out a laugh when you start to squirm, your patience wearing thin.
His hands smooth over the soft flesh of your inner thighs, urging you to spread them wider before spreading you open with his thumbs, exposing you completely. You feel exposed, vulnerable, and the urge to close your legs and hide yourself from his gaze is overwhelming, the embarrassment making your skin burn. But before you can even think about closing them, his tongue is on you, sliding up the length of you and circling your clit. The moan that escapes you is embarrassingly loud and high pitched, but the mortification is easily swallowed up by the pleasure.
He hums against you, the sound and the feeling sending a shudder through your body. Your hands grip the pillow behind your head and you try not to buck up into his mouth, but your attempts are futile. He doesn't seem to mind though, in fact you think it spurs him on, his tongue flattening against you and lapping at you messily, the wetness he's coaxed from you smearing across his mouth and chin.
The sound is lewd and obscene, the sloppy, slick noises and the soft grunts and groans that rumble in his chest as he works you up. He pulls back, his breath coming out in pants, his chest heaving as he looks up at you, his eyes dark and hooded.
"Don't know what you were worried about" he says, his voice low and raspy. "You taste fuckin' divine"
His beard is shiny and damp, his lips glistening, hair messy from where your fingers were tangled in it. The sight of him looking so completely disheveled and filthy has you clenching around nothing, the ache almost too much to bear.
He doesn't say anything else, just ducks his head and gets back to work, his mouth moving with a renewed urgency, his hands gripping your thighs and pushing them further apart, allowing him better access.
Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a constant stream of moans and whines and babbling pleas and praises falling from your lips, but you're not really sure what you're saying, not really sure of anything except the intoxicating pleasure coursing through your veins.
You hear him moan, can feel the vibration against your skin, and you glance down at him, and that's a mistake. The sight of him, his eyes closed and brows drawn together in concentration, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucks and nips and laps at you and– is he fucking grinding his hips into the mattress?
You're fucked.
A throaty moan tumbles past your lips as your hips start to rock, a rhythm forming as you chase your orgasm. His hands leave your thighs and he slides one arm up, the weight of it resting against your abdomen to keep you still while his other hand snakes down, fingers dipping inside again, finding the spot that makes you see stars.
"Fuck, Joel, please, oh my god, I'm so- please"
He groans in response, the hand on your stomach pressing down harder to meet the two fingers curling and stroking inside of you. You cry out at the increased pressure right as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud, his fingers moving faster and faster. Flames lick up your spine and spread throughout your body, threatening to burn you alive. 
Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, knocking the wind out of you and turning your limbs to jello. Wave after wave of blinding euphoria crashes over you and all you can do is cling to the pillow and arch your back, your toes curling as he continues to work his fingers and tongue, happily letting you ride his face and grind into his mouth.
He doesn't let up, not until you're a whimpering, trembling mess, physically pushing his head away when it becomes too much. He pulls back reluctantly, a wicked grin plastered to his face, his chin and mouth absolutely soaked. You're panting, struggling to catch your breath as the aftershocks make you shiver despite the content warmth spreading throughout your entire body.You feel sated and sleepy, a bone deep satisfaction making you feel boneless. 
But as you come down from your high, rational thoughts start to filter in and you suddenly remember the reason this all started in the first place.
You're here to learn, he should be teaching you how to please a man.
How to please him. 
You watch as he gets off the bed and wipes his chin with the back of his hand. Your eyes shamelessly rake over him, the dusty pink flush that decorates his neck and chest, the curve of his belly down to the impressive bulge in his jeans. 
You push yourself up, ignoring the way your arms tremble with the effort. He looks at you, his eyes scanning your face no doubt looking for signs of distress.
"You ok?" he asks, eyebrows pinched together in his typical concerned Joel fashion.
"Yeah" you say, a little breathlessly. "But I still want to..."
Your voice trails off and you glance down at his crotch, hoping he gets the message.
"That's alright, baby. It's a lot, we don't-"
"No" you interrupt, a hint of desperation in your voice. "You said you would teach me. Please, Joel. I-I wanna learn" You hope it's a good enough cover to the fact that you really just want him, your original goal forgotten. "I just don't want to embarrass myself" you add, pouting slightly for good measure, praying to god that he can’t detect the underlying want for him and him only.
He watches you for a moment, seemingly contemplating his decision. And then his eyes narrow, because of course he knows. There's never been an instance where you succeeded in lying to this man. He always, always knows when something is off.
"Alright" he says, a slow smile spreading across his face, something mischievous sparkling in his eyes. "Dick sucking class is now in session"
You groan, your face twisting with visible disgust.
"Oh my god, that was terrible."
"What? It's true" he says with a shrug.
"That is- no, no way. Never say those words ever again. Ever." you say, pointing a finger at him accusingly.
"Or what?" he challenges, taking a step towards the bed.
You gulp and lick your lips.
"Or..."
He waits expectantly for a response. You have none, so you just shake your head and look away.
"Yeah, that's what I thought"
You glare at him and then sigh.
"You're a bully"
"Am I?” He asks, taking a step back to give you more room. “ 'Cause you're the one that asked me to teach ya. On your knees, kid. Let's see whatcha got."
You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress a grin. You don't know how he does it, but his ability to make a joke or a quip out of anything always has a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, even when the jokes are awful and the puns are terrible. Even when the joke is about you getting ready to suck his dick. 
"You're a bully and a pervert" you say, sliding off the bed and sliding to your knees, the plush carpet doing a decent job at protecting your joints.
"And proud of it.”
"Pride is a sin."
"So is premarital sex, so I'll see you in hell, honey"
You snort and look up at him from your place on the floor, grinning widely.
"You're ridiculous"
"You love it"
And that's the thing, isn't it?
Because you do. You love his innate ability to make you laugh, to make you smile even when he's about to take your fucking virginity. He knows how to comfort you, how to put you at ease, when to push you with his teasing and when to pull back and let you take control. You've never met a person who has so effortlessly made their way into your heart.
And here you are, on your knees for him under the false pretense of practicing for a man who's name you can't even remember right now.
You shake your head, the motion clearing the thoughts and the emotions that were swirling in your head, the ones that make you want to stand up and kiss him, kiss him until your lips are numb and you're left gasping for air.
"Joel?" you say his name softly.
"Yeah, baby?"
"Teach me."
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Part 2 is already in the works I promise hehehe thank you for reading I hope u all enjoy!!
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chuluoyi · 3 months
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yours, indefinitely
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- geto suguru x reader
each memorable and meaningful moment shared by the two of you during your journey to parenthood ♡
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact! (yes i can't resist it) pregnancy, a lot of comfort and love, insecurities, hurt/comfort, a dash of crack, soft!geto, massive and absolute fluff !!
note: based on this and this. this... is an idea i got after writing drabbles about soft dad gojo :') you all know this is my first time writing geto and the first time in a while i'm writing a longer fic so i'm having a lot of doubts but i hope you'll enjoy it!! wc. 3k !
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When you found out that you were five weeks pregnant, you were genuinely conflicted for two reasons— one, it was unexpected as you weren't even married yet, and two, you were anxious about your boyfriend's reaction to the news.
But contrary to your worries and fears, doubts and tears... Geto Suguru marries you. He led you to the city hall almost immediately— and just like that, in the eyes of the law, you were officially husband and wife.
Because he has always known that he wants to share his life with you, and with this newfound responsibility, it only reinforces his conviction that he wants that kind of forever with you.
MONTH TWO
Your pregnancy wasn't a breeze—no pregnancy is, to be exact—and you had resigned yourself to mornings of throwing up, but you definitely didn't expect that you would get so sick to the point of almost passing out in the bathroom.
You never wanted Suguru to see you like this, but when a strong arm got a hold of you and pulled back your hair, your heart soared regardless.
"Hey, you okay?" Suguru asked, clear worry lined in his eyes. It was five in the morning—he must've been awoken by the ruckus you caused in the bathroom.
When you heaved a breath and nodded, his frown deepened. "Why didn't you call me?"
"N-no, Sugu—" the words barely left your lips before the overwhelming urge to retch hit you again and you doubled over the toilet bowl.
Suguru maintained a steady hold on your body, and not once did he waver even when you puked your guts out. His grip only loosened when you were done, supporting you up and assisting you in rinsing your mouth at the sink.
"Do you feel better?" he asked gently, dabbing your mouth with a tissue. "Do you want me to get you some water?"
"Suguru, you don't have to—" you untangled yourself from him feebly, still feeling faint. "It stinks here—"
"I have to," he reinforced, gaze boring straight at you. "Do you really think a smelly bathroom will stop me?"
“I d-don't want to trouble you...”
Suguru sighed and the next thing you knew, you found yourself being lifted in a princess carry, his hands securely under your knees. Surprised, you let out a yelp. "Suguru! P-put me down!"
"I'm telling you, you should trouble me," he pursed his lips together, face inching closer to yours, his dark eyes captivating, almost drawing you in. "We're in this together, remember?"
And in that very second, the sound of your heartbeat echoed in your ears, and with it a renewed sense of love you had for this man, once just a figure you admired from afar and now, wholly your husband.
"Yeah..." you responded with a soft smile, completely unaware that Suguru cherished seeing that expression on your face more than anything else.
MONTH THREE
When you reached the third month, you thank all heavenly deities out there that your nausea was getting much better.
But in its place was your outrageous craving requests that more often than not sent Suguru into a daze.
"Wha? Say that again?" he looked at you with twitching eyes, mostly in disbelief. "You can't seriously ask me to... get what?"
"Ice cream with lemon toothpaste flavor," you looked at him with sad puppy eyes, almost resembling that glassy-eyed emoji. "It seemed tasty, Suguru... I want it."
His immediate response was clear this time. "No. Love, that... I doubt that combination even exists."
"Hmph... but baby wants it."
"But—!"
"Or I'll just get the toothpaste and—"
"No! Absolutely no!" okay, this was crazy, but Suguru would figure it out, somehow. "You can't eat toothpaste! I'll get it for you, okay!"
"Teehee~" your small giggle actually made his head spin even further, but if it meant you and your baby's wellbeing, Geto Suguru would cross the roads and did something to get you that non-existent ice cream.
In the end, he settled for mint and orange (because the parlor ran out of lemon) to recreate the nonsense of lemon toothpaste flavor. But when you tasted it, your eyes welled up with tears though.
“This... doesn't taste like toothpaste or lemon,” you sniffled, feeling betrayed. “Suguru, you liar.”
. . . oh, and here goes round two of wild goose chase of recreating edible ice cream for you and the baby. Sigh.
MONTH FOUR
With each passing day, your belly swelled, becoming increasingly prominent and rounder. And you wouldn’t believe it but the pregnancy glow was there—through your husband’s eyes, you looked most radiant, carrying his baby.
And it multiplied more when he saw you interact with his two girls.
"Miss Y/N, is it a boy or a girl?" Nanako inquired, touching your bump, her voice filled with excitement.
"Ah, we haven't found out yet..." you patted her in the head, quite touched that now she cared for you this much too. "What do you think it's going to be, Nanako-chan?"
"Ooh, it has to be a boy! If it's a boy, surely he'll be as handsome as Master Geto!"
Mimiko, ever the calmer of the two, hummed. "Hmm, personally I think it's going to be a girl."
"Ehh? If it's a girl... I guess, yeah— at least she's going to be cute!"
Maybe it was your hormones at play, but your spirits dampened somewhat when you noticed how Nanako leaned more towards the prospect of baby brother. The thought lingered in your mind even later that night on your marital bed, as Suguru spooned you from behind.
“Come to think about it, I think we can find out the gender right about now…” you mused, stroking your belly absentmindedly. “Suguru, do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”
Suguru chuckled, placing his warm, bigger hand over yours on your growing tummy. “Hmm, you first. What do you think?”
"Honestly... a girl. At least, if it were up to me, I want a girl though."
"Ah, cute." Suguru felt his smile broaden at the very idea. "Mimiko and Nanako will get an adorable sister to play dress up with."
You nibbled your lower lip. "But you'd want a boy, wouldn't you?"
"Hm? No," he responded almost immediately. "Quite the opposite, actually. I'm with you on this one. A girl would be nice."
"Even when you already have the twins?"
"Another baby girl— what's so bad with that?" Suguru sighed against your neck, his palm still tenderly caressing your belly. "One who will look like you—the woman whom I love the most... what are you worried about?"
One thing you loved about Suguru was his eloquence. His words had the power to persuade you, even when they seemed at odds with your own beliefs. And more often than not, his words were always aimed to make you feel safe.
And right now, you couldn't have loved him more.
. . .
In your next checkup, as if the gods were all granting your wish all this time— you're having a girl.
MONTH FIVE
“Why won’t she kick?” Suguru pressed his ears on your tummy on the bed, brows knitting together.
You grinned. “She was quite lively a little while ago. She's probably resting now.”
Suguru pursed his lips into a pout, snuggling closer to your round belly. “Hmm, little one, can you hear me? Just one kick for papa, please?”
Moments like this were ones you cherished the most. Your husband's love for your unborn child always filled your heart with warmth.
“She’s not responding.” Suguru sat up with a gentle sigh, a hint of disappointment shadowing his expression. Yet, he quickly mustered a warm smile for you. “Tired after bothering mama, huh?”
Suddenly, you let out a hearty chuckle. “You know, Suguru… I think our baby resembles you.”
He blinked in puzzlement. “Eh? How so?”
“She’s so peaceful, hardly causes me any discomfort lately—she’s idyllic, just like you.” You could feel your face getting warm but you just had to say this to your husband.
Suguru was visibly taken aback, but then the hints of pink tinted his face as he smiled. “Well… I’m glad that it’s been a smooth experience for you so far.”
Your heart swelled at his tender, genuine smile. Then, as if on cue, you felt the familiar stirrings and flutter inside—
“Suguru!”
You caught his hand and placed it on your tummy, just in time for your daughter to kick.
Suguru’s eyes sparkled with awe. "Did she just—?"
It was a profound moment for him, feeling the tangible sign of the new life you both had created. And as your laughter filled the room, light and joyful, Suguru knew with unwavering certainty—
He would do everything in his power to protect you and this baby. Who had become his whole world now.
MONTH SIX
It began as one ordinary day— before came the most horrific incident Suguru never thought would happen to you.
He got a call that you had passed out in the train station. Suguru had never truly known fear until then, feeling every hair on his body stand on end. The details he was provided were frustratingly vague, and he desperately tried not to think the worst.
He was teetering on the edge of a panic attack as he made his way towards the hospital you were brought to. The mere possibility of anything harmful happening to either you or the baby was unbearable. He didn't allow himself to consider any negative outcomes, driven by the need to be by your side.
By the time he arrived, you had regained consciousness, though you were still drifting in and out, clinging onto your swimming consciousness.
"Are you okay? Love, talk to me." Suguru got a hold of your hand as soon as he arrived, voice trembling. "What happened?"
"Suguru..." you managed to reply in feeble voice, still feeling the dull pounding in your temples. You could feel him squeeze your hand tighter. "I-I'm sorry... to m-make you worry..."
"Why are you saying sorry?" Suguru gritted his teeth in frustration. Always putting others first, he loved and sometimes hated that trait of yours. He stroked your hair. "Tell me how you feel. Do you feel better? Or should I call the doctor?"
Seeing how deeply concerned he was for both you and your baby brought a tear to your eyes. "I'm f-fine... just a little dizzy is all."
Once the doctor examined you and determined that you needed to stay in the hospital for a day due to low blood pressure, Suguru was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.
"You really, really scared me," he said in a raspy voice. "So many things could've gone wrong. What if you fell into the tracks instead? You would— I —" his voice actually hitched. "I could've lost both of you today."
At his words, a new flood of tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and you couldn't help but sniffle. Suguru immediately comforted you.
“You’re okay, you’re okay… Don’t cry, please.” He cradled your face gently, thinking he had spooked you. “Just rest. I’m here,” and his other hand rubbed your belly for reassurance. “You and the baby are safe.”
Through this, you realized once again just how secure you were, with him.
MONTH SEVEN
You had been taking the prenatal classes lately—Suguru insisted on it because there was nothing he wouldn't spare for you— and the reality once again sank into you that you were going to have a little human to love and care soon.
"You need to hold her like this..." the friendly instructor guided, positioning her hand on the back of the doll's head. "Be gentle when washing the head, and make sure not to scratch her—"
Now you were once again learning how to bathe the baby. It felt complicated at first, but after the fifth session, you were getting the hang of it.
Not the case with Suguru though. He seemed to be genuinely struggling.
"No, sir! You're going to drown her like that!" the instructor gasped in horror, pulling the baby doll out of your husband's grasp. "I'm sorry, but the way you're holding her is too risky! You have to lower her slowly—"
It brought a wide smile on your face. It was a rare sight to see him not being good at what he was doing, so seeing him totally confused like this was refreshing.
"This is... not quite as easy as it looks," he let out a long sigh, still trying to wash the doll's head as gently as he was instructed. "And I can't really tell when I'm being too rough or not."
"Just imagine it's a real baby, how soft you think you can be?" you advised, almost giggling. "Babies are delicate, sort of like... oh! You can think of them as sensitive as Gojo!"
Suguru gave you a look. "If it were a baby with Satoru's face... I might just flip and toss him away."
And yet despite having a hard time for it, Suguru was persistent in this practice. Because no way was he going to miss out bathing his baby.
MONTH EIGHT
"Suguru... we—" you said in one intake of breath, but unable to continue as he crashed his lips into yours.
With skilled hands, Suguru deftly maneuvered the inside of your maternity sleepwear, unclasping your bra and your breasts—now heavy and full of milk—spilling out.
You didn’t mean to drag him into this. You just made one comment about how you thought that he no longer seemed to desire you as much now and Suguru responded by pulling you into a searing kiss, as if to show you that he, in fact, very much still does.
He groped your left breast and your body spasmed as you let out a hitched moan, writhing under him.
“What part of you—” he drawled, eyes blazing with certain electricity, voice deep and low—and you couldn’t help getting even wetter down there. “—that you said I’m not interested in anymore, mama?”
You mewled, feeling so small under him. You could only whine as he stripped you out of your silken undergarments and let you lay there bare, ready for the taking.
In Suguru’s eyes, you were the most divine. The mother of his child couldn't be less than heavenly. Seeing you so swollen and so full, with everything that was his—made him harder than ever possible.
You would learn it the fast way as his lips latched on your neck, nimble fingers worked through your breasts, and then your pussy—
“Ride me,” he commanded, right after turning you into a wet mush three times and tasting your cum—which was still as sweet as ever. He helped you get up and sat on his hardened member, that slid so easily inside you as you let out a whimper.
Gone was your gentle husband—he always turned into another beast entirely in bed.
“Look at you, sitting so pretty for me like this,” Suguru remarked with a meaningful grin as he placed his hands on both sides of your enormous belly.
“Mmnghh!” you scrunched your eyes shut. The sounds you made were completely beyond your will by now. Everything was just overwhelming you. The way his thick cock sheathed itself inside you and made you feel full, and the way your baby twisted and turned inside you at the same time was mind-blowing— and you haven't even started moving yet.
You could already see it already, how much of a mess you were going to be in once this ended.
Suguru noticed the baby’s rambunctious movement too and lightly tapped the skin of your belly, maintaining his sly smile.
“Oh, baby… forgive your papa and mama and buckle up, yeah? It’s going to be a rough ride for a bit.”
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And soon, on one fateful morning, you were awoken by signs of labor, followed by your water breaking and full-blown contractions.
Suguru was beside you the entire time, worriedly hovering over you for support. He held you tight, providing comfort as you curled inwards each time intense contraction gripped your womb like a vice, hardening it into a rock-hard mass. Now is the real deal, he thought. Suddenly he was having doubts himself— he was going to become a parent. Both of you are.
Seeing you subjected to that much pain was almost unbearable, and even more so when your pained cries and screams echoed through the room as you brought your baby into the world, but then, then, suddenly—
His baby girl is here. She fit perfectly in his arms, round and snug in her blanket, with the softest black tufts of hair that she inherited from him. She cooed and mewled in her sleep—
—and Geto Suguru thought, nothing—absolutely nothing else mattered the very moment he laid eyes on his beautiful daughter.
"She is so tiny, so precious," Suguru whispered, his finger gently tracing the soft cheeks of the sleeping baby. Leaning on his shoulder, you could only sigh in awe, marveling at the sight of your husband and your new baby.
"Thank you," he turned to you then, eyes brimming with unshed tears and emotions. For giving me a another person to care for and love.
And you were at your happiest, finding yourself falling in love with your husband all over again, knowing well that he would cherish you with everything he had.
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Days and months following the birth of your daughter was hectic and eventful.
Nanako and Mimiko had been a really great help around the house, and they adored your baby daughter more than anything, always taking turns to entertain her and make her all giggly, which brought you to another level of happiness.
And most of all, Suguru had taken his new role as a dad very seriously. You remembered him visibly struggling at baby care classes, but now he was a master of diaper changing and baby bathing— and you wouldn't be surprised if he was even better than you by now.
"Suguru, how are you so great at this all of a sudden?" you genuinely wondered with a literal question mark as you watched him washing your daughter in a bubble bath, her laughter filling the room.
"Hard work and perseverance, love," he replied, his tone light but proud. And you snorted when he gave you a wink.
Your daughter had never been shy to cry her heart out at 3 in the morning too, and each time she did, whenever you were about to leave the bed, Suguru would gently hold you back with a raspy voice, murmuring, "I'll get her. Go back to sleep."
He was the best husband a woman could ask for. Throughout the five months of your postpartum, he always made sure that you stayed hydrated, had a lot of rest and consumed nutritious food to replenish your strength. He always took over the baby-rearing duties whenever possible. You were treated no less than a princess, and honestly you were ever so grateful.
And so this time, despite his willingness, you got up from the bed and went to the baby's room. And the sight there caught your heart—
"There, there..." Suguru's voice was thick with sleep, yet he rocked your daughter back and forth with gentle patience. "Do you want to change your blanket? Is it not comfy for you?"
Your heart softened, melted—perhaps even fluttered away with the wind, turning into mush. When you first discovered a year ago that you were going to have a baby, you could never have anticipated that this was the life you would find yourself in.
Suguru opted to switch the blanket for a new one, but as you watched him fold and unfold it several times, confusion evident on his face, you decided it was time to step in.
"Here, you do it like this," your sudden appearance startled him, as you gently took the fabric away from him and wrapped your fussy daughter in it. "Looks like I finally found something you're still not great at," you teased, a playful smile dancing on your lips.
He was about to usher you back to the bedroom until you said that. "Heh."
You loved this life, and he too wouldn't trade it for the world. In the quiet tranquility of dawn, after both of you had successfully put your baby back to sleep, you spoke, "Thank you... and I love you, Suguru."
But he thought— you shouldn't have to thank him for anything, because after all, Geto Suguru lives for two princesses in his life; you and his baby daughter.
And after this, all that was left was giving you the wedding celebration of your dreams, one that both of you had been setting aside for a while now.
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