#seriously fuck laurie and her dad

[lovecatsys]

reading new x men house of m i just found a new favorite Quentin ship

[beaubambabey]

S7E15

I think this episode mightve been the one I stopped at when it was first airing. I don't remember the good parts, but I vaguely remember how things ended. I think

The vignettes! The hallucinations!! The musical number!!!

Man oh man I loved this episode but man oh man.

Good things first:

WOWEE HUGH LAURIE'S GOT THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL OH WOW I'm in LOVE

I'd give up a kidney to get a full Hilson gay dads sitcom, it's perfect and an absolute laugh riot, and House has already been influencing Rachel Cuddy to be a little stinker IT WORKS

So far I haven't seen anyone else mention the other vignettes aside from the gay dad sitcom and the musical number which feels illegal considering WILSON THE CAKE DELIVERY GUY!!! HOUSE HUSBAND... HOUSE!!!

Oh God the implications of that. Oh God Wilson the milkman. Oh no.

That makes not one but TWO fantasies where Cuddy's subconscious fully believes that as much as House loves her and could be in a committed relationship with her, he would still be Involved with Wilson if the opportunity struck

They really are that gay for each other huh

It was a risky leap they took, getting together. And with the collective damage it's done to the hospital, those around them, and House's patients, there's really no way it can get better from here.

I honestly can't help but be mad that Cuddy broke up with House for taking Vicodin to be with her during her time of need. Like. Yeah, she saw the worst of his drug addiction for YEARS and was hoping he'd stay on the path to recovery. Yeah, she stopped him from taking pills after he was spiraling right before they got together. It's fully understandable given her position as someone with specific priorities that she can't be risking what she has... But he was seriously trying by House standards??? Even Wilson acknowledged that relapses can happen with addicts, and House knew it would be too hard to be by Cuddy's side through her surgery so he willingly fucked up about 18 drug-free months to make sure he could handle being there for her. I get it, but I'm still mad.

And the comment about him being so afraid of being in pain like??? He literally suffers from chronic pain because she, along with Stacy aka the other woman House loved deeply and dearly, made the medical decision to do a procedure that would leave him with chronic pain but still keep his leg??? And after years of enabling him- okay I'm gonna stop before I just keep ranting

Doomed from the start! And deep down she knows that, considering all her dreams involved her being drawn in by House being sweet and things not ending well for her (death, being alone)

On to the next one (I took a full day off to mull on this) (it's still going on the rewatch list)

[volarenelcieloinfinito]

Euphoria 2x03 Thoughts

Ok let’s see how Cal’s backstory made him all repressed and fucked up

Oh so his dad is more than likely an abusive asshole

Oooh Derek is def jealous

Omg why is them dancing at the gay bar so cute?!

Goddamnit why did you have to make me sympathize with a character I can’t stand?! This is giving TLOU Pt. 2 feelings all over again.

Lmao Rue’s solo is AMAZING! That was so fun to watch!

Fuckin’ A Rue, lying to and gaslighting the people that actually love you ain’t it

Yo but why am I enjoying this Rue/Jules/Elliot dynamic so much? 😂

Elliot is hilarious and serving some excellent banter right now!

No but Rue getting so offended that Jules and Elliot negotiated a secret right in front of her 🤣

Ok so I guess Cal knows who Rue is, which I can’t remember if we knew before now

Oooh Rue & Jules out here getting spicy 🌶

God I hate that they are so cute together but such a recipe for disaster

YES! I am here for Lexi pursuing something she’s passionate about! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The use of the HBO sounder had me cracking up

Cassie I’ve been trying to defend you but FUCK you are killing me here. He does not care about you. S T O P!

Yup the RJE dynamic is going to be gold until it is not, and then it’s going to get ugly.

Also Elliot wtf did you think was going to happen?! Scat play OMG 😂😂😂

Lmao damn you two, right in front of Elliot’s salad? 😜

Hi Fez! I love you! Thank you for not giving in to Rue’s crazy!

“Hey Rue-Rue” “Hi Cass” idk why but it was cute

Lmao yo has “Oklahoma” ever been said this many times in 30 seconds ever before?

Ok I love how concerned all of them got when Rue said yes to being on drugs.

“Bitch, you better be joking!” The delivery had me rolling!

CASSIE FOR FUCK’S SAKE! LOVE?!

Ah ok that was a fake out but she still obviously feels like that’s real

Theo!

Nate: I love how sick you are. Me: 🤮

Oh man poor Kat, that may have been the most awkward thing I’ve seen in a long while

Rue what in the holy fuck are you doing?!

Is Drug Lady serious? Does she seriously think giving this kid 10k in drugs is good idea? There is no way that bitch doesn’t know Rue’s an addict.

This whole scene with Fez, Ash and Cal has me DYING

You’re right Fezco, Nate is a fuckin bitch

Ash is such a gangster holy shit! 😂

“Dial bitch!” I am H O W L I N G!!!

“You tellin me you had sex with Jewel?”

“You didn’t know that you were recording?”

“I fucked up” “Obviously man!”

“Your son? The one that’s in love with Jewel?” Fez is out here serving comedic gold AND tea!

“What kinda weird-ass father-son shit is going on around here bro?” Omg this scene is killing me in the best way!

“You’re confused? I’m fucking confused bro!”

Fez you are officially my favorite character and that was the best scene of this episode. Hell, it may have been the best scene of this show. That was a Gen Z Who’s on First and it was fucking hysterical.

Wow, I knew Elliot was going to get between Rue and Jules relationship but not like this

Elliot is written so well though. He’s def growing on me.

Oh fuck

That scene with Ali legit made me sad

From what I’m seeing so far, Rue is going to end this season completely alone and either in jail, overdosing, badly hurt because of Drug Lady Laurie, or dead.

Ugh of course we’re back with Nate and Maddy. 😒

As an ending side note, in the behind the episode the costume designer basically said the opening with Cal in the 90’s was a period piece and I died a little inside.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 11

Cult Girl goes on a little solo excursion while Hannibal works.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: (fake) blood, mentions of death overseas, anti-choice harassment, discussion of abortion

Archie and Max leaving the picture was a problem you couldn't bring yourself to deal with when you awoke the next day. You anticipated a massive downward spiral if you didn't do something for yourself and fast. You'd spent so much time worrying about your schoolwork and your baby that it was long past due.

You made a couple of phone calls and found a GameStop a little out of the way with a used copy of Pokémon Alpha Sapphire for sale. About twenty minutes drive. Hannibal had back-to-back appointments clogging up his day, so it gave you an excuse to go on a little excursion.

You climbed into your car, picked an extensive playlist of your favorite songs and set off. You plugged the directions into your phone and let the map guide you. The roads narrowed as you watched your surroundings grow less and less familiar.

Soon enough, you pulled into a parking lot. Nestled between a Planned Parenthood and a used bookstore, the GameStop beckoned you. At the end of your tunnel vision was that game and nothing could stop you from getting it.

Certainly not from lack of trying.

"Stop right there!" A voice said. It chuckled, trying to make the rude interruption seem friendly.

An obstacle appeared in your line of sight: a plain-looking middle-aged white woman with dyed blonde hair. Just your garden variety Karen.

"Can I help you?" You said, giving your voice a distinct, annoyed bite.

She smiled, though not without discomfort. "Are you going, y'know, in there?"

She gestured to the building behind you. Uncertain of what she wanted or why she was making a trip to the GameStop so weird, you answered in the affirmative.

"Yeah, why?"

She wrapped her hand around your arm, as if to restrain you. Her touch made your skin crawl.

"I really don't think you should go in there."

You finally put the pieces together. This lady was just some anti-choice maniac, waiting outside a Planned Parenthood for any random pregnant woman to approach.

"Yeah, I totally carried this baby for five months just to get rid of it within a week of the legal termination threshold." You rolled your eyes. "I just want it to feel the maximum possible amount of pain when I destroy it."

The woman's face turned into one of abject horror and you smiled, feeling proud of yourself. You yanked your arm from her hand with full intent to walk away. That should have been the end of it.

"Wait!" She shouted, snatching you by the shoulder. "Please, reconsider. God gave you that little one because he wants you to be a mommy!"

"For the love of fuck, woman." You snarled. "Can you seriously not pick up on sarcasm? I'm not even going to the clinic. I'm going to the GameStop."

She wasn't convinced. "See, I think you're lying to me. I think you're telling me one thing and then you're gonna do another thing."

"What the hell is it any of your business, Karen?" You scowled at her. "Leave me alone!"

"Just pray about it, please!" She pleaded. "What if your baby grows up to be a soldier? Protecting your freedom?"

"Oh, then I should definitely kill it now." You snarked. "Would save him the trouble of getting blown up by other Americans in a senseless war like my dad."

Adda girl, [F/N]! You thought to yourself. Nothing gets nosy strangers to go away quite like revealing even more personal information!

She put both her hands on your protruding belly. "Don't worry, angel. Mommy isn't going to kill you! Aunt Laurie won't allow it!"

You vaguely remembered your obstetrician saying something about how twenty-week fetuses could hear the outside world. You weren't planning on subjecting the kid to violence this early on, but desperate times call for desperation.

You grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her down. She screamed, getting the attention of a few onlookers.

"Help!" She wailed, lying on the ground as if she couldn't get up. "I'm being attacked!"

You dashed as quickly as your legs could carry you into the GameStop. The lone cashier, a purple-haired girl with a nose ring, pretended that she hadn't been watching the altercation and looked back down at her sandwich.

"Welcome to GameStop." She said, hesitantly. "Are you... [F/N]?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm here for that copy of Alpha Sapphire."

"Tubular." She rummaged in a drawer beside her for the envelope.

A rather massive eevee plush displayed behind the counter caught your eye. "How much for her?"

The cashier placed the game on the counter and looked back at the massive eevee. "Fourty-four ninety-five."

"I'll take her too." You said.

The cashier pulled the eevee down from the shelf and scanned its tag.

"Aight, your total is sixty-nine eighty." She said.

"Nice." You snickered, reaching for your credit card.

The cashier smirked as you inserted the chip. "Hey, was that crazy lady accosting you outside?"

"I take it she does that a lot?" You asked.

She heaved a sigh. "You have no idea."

You looked behind at the large windows and saw the woman standing outside the door, waiting for you. You felt like a caged animal. Your eyes scanned the room and landed on a couple ketchup packets. A sick idea formed in your head.

"Are you gonna use those?" You asked, pointing to them.

The cashier glanced at the woman and raised her eyebrow. "Not if you have a better use for them."

The bell jangled as you walked out of the store with a shopping bag around your wrist and a ketchup packet in each hand. Just as suspected, the woman grabbed your arm.

"Oh, honey!" She exclaimed. "Before you leave, god put it on my mind to say a little prayer for the unborn soldier he's gifted you in your womb."

"I'd rather you not." You said, trying to yank your arm out of her surprisingly strong grip.

"You're brave, but foolish, girl." She barked, positioning herself in front of you. You fidgeted with the ketchup packets behind your back, opening them just enough.

The woman put both her hands on your belly. The second you felt her touch, you threw yourself backwards. You landed, not without pain, squarely on your ass.

"Oh my?" The woman covered her mouth with her fingertips. "Are you--"

You leaned forward and moaned in pain, clutching your baby bump with one hand while drenching your shorts in ketchup with the other. You pretended to cave around the pain, then threw yourself back, revealing a bloody stain leaking from between your legs. The woman shrieked.

"Oh my fucking god!" The cashier from the store said, rushing to your side. She put her hand on your shoulder and glared at the woman. "What did you do?!?"

"She pushed me and I think it hurt my baby!" You wailed.

"Holy shit, why would you hurt her baby?!" The cashier shouted, allowing you to slink your arm around her shoulder for support. She then snatched your shopping bag from the ground.

"I didn't mean to, honest!" She said, on the verge of tears. "I was just trying to spread god's love and joy-"

"By assaulting a pregnant woman?!" The cashier yelled. You were clutching your stomach in fake pain. She helped you to your feet. "Come on, let's get you to the clinic."

You conjured up some fake tears. "You killed my baby!"

"You wicked woman!" She cried out. Her voice faded out as you approached the clinic. "You don’t deserve a baby!"

You kept up the crying and wailing until you arrived at the Planned Parenthood. More interested in covering her own ass than begging for forgiveness, the crazy woman made herself scarce. Entering the clinic with an incriminating bloodstain on your pants was awkward, for a moment. But it was easy enough to explain and even earned a laugh or two from the doctors on staff.

Once you were completely certain the crazy lady had left, you scooped up your shopping bag, said goodbye to the cashier and climbed into the car.

Before you put the key in the ignition, you took a moment. You took a moment to do something you knew you shouldn't have.

You placed your hand on your belly and stroked it. "We make a pretty good team, huh?"

You didn't know why you paused. It wasn't like the fetus was going to answer.

"Sorry you had to see that." You said. "Or, I guess, hear that. I wish I could tell you that people aren't really like that in real life, but I can't. Either that or I'm just a magnet for insane people. Hope that it's not genetic."

It just occurred to you that, if your obstetrician was right, the fetus heard everything that you said about killing it. Logically speaking, you knew it wasn't developed enough to comprehend what you were saying, but you still felt like you owed it an apology.

"Hey, scamp." You said, appropriating a nickname your grandfather gave you. "I'm sorry that I talked all that shit back there. About killing you and whatnot. I don't want to kill you. I actually want you to live an amazing life."

Just then, you felt a kick. The doctor war right: there was no mistaking it. The baby kicked.

Your mouth hung dumbly open, delight and fear chasing each other around in your mind. "Holy crap!"

You drove home as fast as legally possible. You needed to get home. As you pulled into the driveway, you noticed that Hannibal's car wasn't there.

He'll be home any minute, you thought. Might as well stay out here to catch him when he arrives.

That was an hour ago. Not that you'd noticed. You would have sat in that car, talking to your baby for an eternity. It wasn't until you heard a tapping on the window did you exit your trance.

Hannibal examined the scene. The ketchup, the massive eevee and his suddenly very chatty fiancée shooting the breeze with her fetus. He smirked.

"Did we have a fun afternoon?"

[loverboyromanroy]

honestly I'm pretty pessimistic about the line in the sand thing and am 99% sure it's going to be devasting, BUT I just keep thinking that a wedding is a very public place, roman's emotions will already be running super high, and gerri needs allies right now. she would not jeopardize having him on her side right now - he's so, so loyal. and she's too smart to make a scene at a wedding by essentially breaking up with roman who will already be vulnerable and emotional with his mom getting married. I think the line in the sand thing must be more of an ultimatum. but I cannot think what that ultimatum could be.

oh i'm sure it'll be devastating! no matter which way it turns out! no happy endings after all...

but you hit on one of the things i've been turning over in my mind this week (and this whole season tbh) – roman's loyalty and capacity for real feelings/intimacy...i didn't mean for this answer to become a roman/gerri deep dive but it did so LOTS of words under the cut lmao

their relationship is something the show crafted so diligently (and honestly, lovingly) in season two and those remnants of care bleed over into the first couple episodes of season three – the hotel room convo in 3x01, his appeal to her to keep him around (and then asking for her advice!) in 3x02, the hanging around her office/laurie convos in 3x04. those are all fun, flirty, mostly light-hearted moments that are keeping in tone with their relationship as established in season two. the notable absence is in 3x03 – and even then when nothing major happens between them, there's still that moment of insight into their relationship (when logan calls him into his office, roman not only is heading straight for her, casting her a quick 'i guess i'll be right there?' look, but it also implies that he and gerri are frequently working together) that very intentionally shows that she is a part of his routine.

then we get this shift at the shareholder meeting – tensions are high, the company's on the line, and they have a minor fracture. gerri is saving face, saying what needs to be said to get the deal done, and it upsets roman! at the time, i said i found it interesting that she responds so earnestly to the curt way he calls her out. she apologizes sincerely (rare on this show) and when she sees that's not enough...she takes it a step further! she calls him out in her speech, calls him a visionary, gives him the call with the president! it's our way of picking up that she's real – she's not bullshittin, she's not going through the motions, she genuinely is a partner in this partnership. and even that small moment of roman physically moving greg away from her while she's working – that happens post-apology but before her speech! in theory he's still annoyed with her and it's such a small, genuine moment that says "even when we're at odds, even if i'm pissed off, i still have your back" (he literally gets greg off her back! fucking crazy!)

THEN the real gulf opens up – logan brings roman under his wing as the roys all go to republican prom and we're completely devoid of gerri. i think her absence just as logan starts to embrace him is completely intentional, because the outset of their partnership in 2x03 literally starts with the question "how do i get my dad to take me seriously?" and now in 3x06, we see that they've done it! together, roman and gerri have gotten roman to a point where logan takes him seriously!

but where do we go from here? where do they stand in terms of emotions? there isn't exactly a resolution in 3x05 (besides roman's bashful observation of gerri talking about him during her speech) and we haven't had a moment to gauge where they stand since.

as you said, he's super loyal to her. he went to bat hard for gerri in 2x10 and 3x01 and he's been, mostly, defending her ever since. but what does that loyalty look like in this new world where he's daddy's favorite? if gerri's two purposes were to help roman gain his dad's respect and emotionally fulfilling his need for approval from an authority figure, where does she fit in this new arena where he has that respect and approval from thee authority figure? what does he need or want from her now that he's got what he set out to get?

that's where i think the emotional appeal comes into play – maybe, in the high of all this new found success, he thinks they can really change their relationship from business to personal. it also would connect with this really out there comment from shiv in 3x07 about tabitha and intimacy:

shiv (teasing): okay. the relationship was fine sexually and you're loving the intimacy of it all? roman (sarcastically): yes. i love the intimacy. i love people really getting to know me.

first of all...what the fuck lmao. (like, so interesting that shiv tries to be like "roman you're so gross for talking about me having sex all the time" when she's the one who brings up sex in this conversation, but that's for another post, another time.) second of all...even as he's seemingly playing at the fact that he does not want intimacy, there is one person that does really know him, someone that he has been more intimate with than maybe anyone in his entire life? and earlier in the episode, when laurie is mentioned, we're reminded with a glance that roman is still hyperaware of gerri having an intimate relationship with someone else – i wouldn't say he's even jealous as much as just...wary! and maybe confused as to why she's still got this thing going with this guy.

i don't know what to think! in doing this deep dive and reconsidering where we've been this season, i start to lean towards the idea of roman thinking, foolishly, the only thing left to conquer is "a real relationship" and perhaps he thinks "well, i already have something going with gerri, so why not her?". it's something shiv has been holding over him all season to prove that she's a more well-rounded/respectable person, it's something he's expressed a desire for in his own fucked up way in the past, and, tragically, it just can not come to pass for a million reasons.

i think it checks all the boxes of being too much and too dangerous for gerri, crossing the boundaries she's established as being important, and creates an impasse in that if there's no promise of something deeper, and gerri has already solved his problem of not being taken seriously by his dad, why should he continue having an alliance with her at all?

[fictionalreads]

Euphoria Season 2 Episode 8

Am I ready? No. It’s why I’ve put this off. But here we go.

Fez

Awe. He has flowers ready for her. So adorable.

Okay Faye cause that face wasn’t suspicious at all.

FAYE CAME THROUGH!!!

Ash. Be careful. His phone is recording. Fuck. Of course. Ash always ready to catch a body.

He wants a family. HE WANTS THREE KIDS WITH HER

Awe damn.

WAIT I LOVE ASH AND FEZ MOMENTS BUT THIS AINT WHAT I WANT

Oh fuck. I’m not ready. I’m not ready. WHY DO THEY LET THE CHARACTERS WE LOVE SUFFER AND LEAVE THE ONES WE DONT LIKE ALONE

Ash. Put down the gun. Please. Don’t do this. My heart can’t take it.

ASH BABY NOOOOO

FEZ!! Shit he got shot.

What did his note to Lexi say?

Ash stop. Just come out!! Please don’t do this to me and Fez.

Fuck. Ash. Why did you do that?

NOOOOOOOOO NOT IN FRONT OF FEZ

They better not show me his body.

Lexi

I feel so bad for her. Her night is ruined cause her sister’s a hoe.

Is her name Bobby? I like her. A lot.

Good for her. Got back out there.

Wait does she know about Fez’s issues?

Poor Lexi. Just constantly seeing people she cares about in the hospital.

See? Something good came of the play.

Cassie

You a bitch. One who needs professional help.

Oh damn. Even her mama knew shit was about to go down.

Bitch. Shut the fuck up. You did all of this to yourself.

I wouldn’t say anything to Maddie right now. Let it go.

Maddie

GET HER ASS MADDIE

LMAO BB (that is her name right?)being her hype man.

Damn Maddie I said beat her up not bust her head wide open.

I’m glad she told her. Like “yeah the best revenge I could give, is saying it ain’t over for you yet.”

Rue

Uh. Rue. Sweetheart. Why do you need to forgive him? Because he told your mom? Shit needed to be said.

I’m confused as to why he’s singing? I know he’s a singer in real life but….what narrative sense does it make? Is it because he likes Rue and this song is supposed to be about her.

Are we still on this truth or dare shit?

Rue needs to focus on her. Not start new shit.

AWE LOOK AT RUE BEING A GOOD FRIEND!!

I think watching that play was cathartic for her. But don’t tell me she’s about to kill herself and this is her way of thanking Lexi and assuring her it’s not her fault/thanking her.

Not Rue being wise and having actual points.

No. Stay away from Jules. And Jules, stay away from Rue. Y’all aren’t good for each other.

That felt like a goodbye kiss.

Nate

Who the fuck is he about to go kill? Himself? His dad? WHO?!

Nate you really need help. Seek it. You have anger issues for real. Don’t kill him. I mean I don’t like him but shit.

Yes. He is happier cause he ain’t around you.

Like I said. Seek help.

He hated you, BECAUSE YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH

Why does Nate always get what he wants? Why does he get to be happy/victorious?

Miscellaneous

It’s about Fez to start. This would’ve made me nervous but someone spoiled it for me so…. That’s another reason it’s taken me so long to do this post.

THAT STAGEHAND “I don’t know I’m panicking. Go away”

But seriously. How did this get approved? What was the budget?

Wait. How we go back to the funeral and Rue’s speech after I just watched that? How dare they.

Wait so when did this play take place? Cause some of the shit in the play supposedly happened after the play.

LMAO Kat in the middle of them like a mediator.

Is it a season finale if Zendaya doesn’t sing?

It was spoiled for me but I still was not ready. That shit was wild. It was the first episode I actually cried at.

Wait what happened with Laurie? Not seeing her makes me nervous. She ain’t gonna forget the money Rue owes her.

[thran-duils]

Lost In Zero Gravity (P.15)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Fifteen) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 3,145 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior Author’s Note: The reader here is someone who celebrates Christmas, just a heads up!

Part Fourteen || Part Sixteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Something touched your face and you jerked awake, blinking in alarm.

“Shit, sorry,” you heard Tony say as you came to clearly. You exhaled sharply hearing his voice, relaxing back down onto the couch. He was trying not to laugh and failing. He brushed at your forehead again affectionately and said, “Look at two of my favorite girls snuggling on the couch together. A nice thing to come home to.”

You turned your head, seeing Luna was curled up behind your back against the back of the couch. Tony reached behind you, petting her. She got up immediately and crawled up onto your side to get more, stretching her back legs. Tony obliged and she stuck her tail up before hopping down to the ground and sauntering off.

“Well, she got tired of me quickly,” Tony said sounding sour. “Little bitch is holding a grudge I was gone for a week.”

You sat up and moved your pillow, waiting for him to sit down. He simpered in response, “Well, at least one of you still wants my attention.” He sat down and you laid back down, using his thigh as a pillow. “And it’s the better looking one, so that bodes well for me.”

Considering you had fallen asleep, the movie had gone back to the main menu and was playing on loop.

“Interesting choice,” Tony commented seeing it.

“Polar Express has become a classic for Christmas,” you told him seriously. “And I fell asleep on it. And I did want to watch it.” You reached for the controller and started it over.

“Is there a reason for that…? Should I be prepared to be bored?”

“I had watched about three other Christmas movies before this and I was really relaxed,” you returned.

Tony admitted, “Fair enough.” He looked around the room and said, “You really went to town on the decorations.”

“I had a lot.”

“Looks like my tree was the perfect thing for your ornaments. Perfect gift giver.”

You snorted and said, “Is that you digging for a ‘thank you’ again, Santa?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Tony answered, his hand coming to your waist. “Where are my cookies in thanks?”

You turned your head to look up at him and asked, “Do you really want me to make you some cookies? Because the only ones I can make on a whim right now are peanut butter.”

Tony smirked, gripping your side. “No, sweetheart. Thank you for being so on the ball though and ready to indulge my whims. You’re a treasure. But I ate enough desserts and bullshit at Disneyland to last me for months.”

“Did you have fun?” you asked, turning to look back as the movie started over again.

“Mhm,” Tony nodded. “Loved standing in lines for an absurd amount of time not only for rides but also for pictures with people pretending to be characters. But it made the kids happy, so that’s what counts. And before you even ask, yes I did use a Max Pass. The waiting was still atrocious.” Before you could ask anything else, he cleared his throat, “How was it here?”

“Fine,” you answered, giving a slight shrug, not offering anything else.

You were truly sore from how much sex you had been having. Steve had wanted to go at it every day the last week and he made sure it happened, alternating between rough and caring. It was lucky, for him, that his wife was gone for the majority of the week, so he was able to come here every day after he got done with business.

“Hmm, sounds like I should pry more but doesn’t sound like you also want to talk about it,” Tony commented quietly. “Conundrum.”

The feeling riled up again to speak to someone about the gala. You pushed away from him, pausing the movie, and he leaned his head back, looking at you with narrowed eyes at your sudden movement.

“Steve was really horny this week. Like every goddamn day kind of horny. So, I’m pretty sore and tired,” you told him. He rose his eyebrows in response, and you said, “You asked me to elaborate, so I am. Also, I don’t know how he’s feeling because he’s been forcing me against tables but then being gentle other times. It’s very hard to read. He really hurt my hip against the kitchen table.” Tony looked concerned, his mouth opening like he was going to ask a question, but you pressed on, wanting to mention this to him, “And that guy from Monaco was at the gala we went to and he was watching me.”

Tony cocked his head. “What?”

“Laurie. That French guy.”

That caught Tony’s attention and he asked seriously, “He was stateside? At the gala?”

“Yes. Is that not normal? Cause he was looking pretty creepy.”

For a split second, you saw genuine apprehension in his face. But, Tony cleared his throat and adjusted in just another second, the mask coming up. He forced a smile, covering up the concern that had been there moments before, and said, “It’s fine. Just weird that he was watching you is all.”

You did not believe him for apparent reasons, mainly his body language. And he changed the subject quickly, “I brought you some gifts over here in this bag, but you can’t open them until Christmas.”

Holding back a sigh that he had brushed it off so easily, you asked, “Did you wrap them?”

“No,” Tony admitted, and you frowned. He explained, “Definitely paid to have that done.” He noticed the look on your face and asked jokingly, “Is that going to be a problem? I can send them back to the park.”

“No. It’s just astounding to me that people don’t like wrapping presents. It’s one of my favorite things. Make sure they look perfect.”

He leaned over the side of the couch and dug through the bag he must have placed down when he came in. “Speaking of cookies…” He came back up with a plain box and handed it to you. “That one you can open now cause it’s perishable.”

You took it from him, opening the box to find Mickey gingerbread cookies and an assortment of other Christmas decorated fudge and cookies.

“Don’t make yourself sick,” Tony commented.

“What a dad thing to say. Have you not left that mode?” you retorted, shooting him a look.

“I see your wit hasn’t lessened. Why do you try to push my buttons?”

“Because it’s fun,” you told him and he sucked his bottom lip in at that slightly, watching you.

Taking one of the pieces of fudge, you closed the box and put it on the coffee table. You took a bite and then held out the other half to him. He leaned forward, taking it, his lips wrapping around your fingers. You smirked at the flirtation, savoring the piece in your own mouth.

“Too bad you’re feeling sore,” Tony said after he swallowed his piece. “That was mighty rude of Steve.”

“Quite,” you agreed.

“Well, we will just have to wait then. Let you get good and limber again. That should take what/ A night?” You snorted at that. “What? I can be patient. And thoughtful.”

Satisfied knowing he was not going to try to push you tonight, you laid back down, tucking yourself back under the blanket, snuggling up on his thigh.

“I’m glad you’re back,” you told him sincerely as you started the movie again.

You felt his fingers caress your side at that.

<><><>

“How was it here?” Tony asked the next day at the office, as Steve placed a coffee on his desk from the intern that had gone on a coffee run for the office.

Steve shrugged, “Alright. She was well behaved. We went to the gala. And I spoke with Richard there, got that all sorted out. He’s going to open up the port when we need it.”

“Anyone notice you two speaking about that matter?” Tony questioned.

“Of course not. Everyone had their noses too far down in their drinks.”

Tony snorted in response before he asked, “Did you notice Laurie?”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Laurie who? Capron?” Tony nodded. Steve shook his head, “No. Why?”

“Y/N did. He was watching her.”

“Okay?” Steve said slowly, not getting it. And he should not because Tony had omitted the part about the bet when he mentioned to Steve that Laurie had been displeased he was meeting with Alexandre.

“Well, you know how I raced?” Steve nodded in acknowledgment. “He challenged me. Laurie did. Wanted to bet on Y/N.” Steve’s lips parted, vexation washing over his features. Tony said quickly, “That’s why I raced. I wasn’t gonna leave it in the hands of that random person they were having race for the company.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Steve demanded. “Tony, what the fuck?”

“It wasn’t relevant. I won, didn’t I?”

“Why did you accept at all?”

“Because you know he would have just asked to take her right then. You know him. And I didn’t want to start that shit right there in front of all those cameras or put Y/N in that position or embarrass her.” Tony exhaled sharply and leaned forward over his desk, “Just… keep your head on a swivel. I don’t like that he’s stateside. He was really not happy about that meeting with Alexandre.”

Steve’s jaw was tight staring Tony down before he finally sighed, “Fine. Yeah. I’ll… we’ll figure out what he’s doing here.”

<><><>

“I still can’t figure out what to get you for Christmas,” you told Steve, watching him from the bed. He had come home during the day for a quickie. He had stayed away for a few days, much to your muscle’s relief.

“You don’t need to get me anything,” Steve told you as he pulled his pants up, working on his belt. “You’re enough.”

Picking at the sheet, you stared down at it, chewing on your bottom lip. Steve was moving around getting ready and he broke the silence, “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”

“Are you going to let me go home for Christmas?” you asked, looking at him hopefully.

Steve stilled for a moment in buttoning up his shirt, his eyes running over you there. You did not break eye contact, wanting to make it clear you were serious about this.

“I have been thinking about that,” Steve admitted. “Most of the guys have family they want to be with. You wouldn’t have anyone here – that I would want to be here that is – to watch you anyway.” Steve gave a tight-lipped smile. “So, my hands are kind of tied here.”

Hope was blossoming in your chest.

“I need to talk to Tony about it. But there will be rules. You’d need to check in regularly. It’d be a short trip. A couple days.”

“That’s okay,” you said eagerly.

Steve’s eyes crinkled and you closed your mouth, trying to relax again. He watched you for a few more moments before he went back to finishing buttoning up his shirt. He grabbed his suit jacket off the back of the chair and put it on too.

Coming over to the bed again, he gave you a kiss. “Don’t forget to wash the sheets before Tony gets home.”

“I will,” you said to his retreating back.

<><><>

You walked up the front steps, already hearing the chatter from inside. You could see some of your family in the living room window, laughing, already playing games. That was a Christmas Eve tradition. Taking a deep breath, you opened the front door. You had not called your grandma to tell her you were coming. The only ones who knew were a couple of your cousins you had reached out to.

When they noticed it was you, there was a chorus of happy greetings.

A wide smile coming across your face, you said hello in return as one of your aunts brought you to her, squeezing you close. Your bag fell by the wall by the door and you left it there to make the rounds.

Your grandma and grandpa were both in their respective chairs, your grandpa excited to see you. You made sure to hug him tight, kissing him on top of his head.

Turning you looked at your grandma. You had not spoken to her since you had left here weeks ago.

You asked gently, “Merry Christmas. How are you?”

“Better now that you are here, dear,” your grandma answered sincerely, a warm smile gracing her lips.

You broke at that, closing the space between the two of you and you wrapped her up in a tight hug. She held you back in return, and you blinked back tears knowing what she had said when you saw her last was true about her not being upset with you. Steve and Tony had not ruined your relationship after all.

<><><>

You looked down at your phone on the table and saw Tony was calling. You quickly snatched it off the table to avoid your cousin from seeing the name. One of your uncles had just begun to serve dessert. You had agreed to texts, not calls. What was Tony doing? You had just texted them an hour ago, sending them a pic that you were really at the house.

Getting up from the table, you said, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Well, hurry back! You don’t wanna miss my cake!” your uncle said as he cut in, placing another piece on a plate to distribute.

You smiled, “Of course not. It looks delicious.”

Turning away from the table, you saw the call had already gone to voicemail, much to your worry. But he was already calling again.

Coming into the hallway, you brought the phone up to your ear and answered in a hushed tone, “Hello?”

“There you are,” Tony responded, sounding taut. “Thought you were ignoring me and I was going to be pretty fucking irritated.” He sounded well on his way to being drunk; you knew the switch in his voice by now. “Make me regret letting you go off at all.”

“Well, I’m here. I’m at the house.”

“I know you are, sweetheart. I just… you’re gonna find a private space for yourself and then call me back on FaceTime.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m horny, Y/N and I needed a distraction for a moment. Get the tension out of myself. I hate the missus family. Go to the bathroom or something and give me a show.”

“Tony,” you hissed into the phone as you continued walking down the hall and the staircase leading to the lower part of the house. “We are in the middle of dessert. That’s—”

“You’re wasting time,” he interrupted you. “I’ve got to get back to this stupid party sooner rather than later. I’m already halfway worked up. Don’t leave me hanging, love. I just need to see you. Real quick. Promise. Call me back.”

He hung up the phone and you stared down at it dumbly for a few moments before letting out a strangled, frustrated noise. Your hand gripped the newel post as you propelled yourself down the staircase to go to the bathroom downstairs. Not following what he was asking would only get you in trouble and really make him regret letting you come here and have him refuse you in the future.

You locked the bathroom door for good measure. Turning around, you took a deep breath, trying to relax. You had given shows like this before, it was not foreign to you. All he wanted to see was you playing with yourself.

Pressing the callback for FaceTime, he answered, “Thank god. What were you doing?”

“I had to go downstairs,” you told him.

Fortuitously, you were wearing a skirt and it was loose. You pulled your underwear down, kicking them off. Taking your top off, you tossed it by your underwear. Looking around the bathroom, you looked for something you could use to prop up your phone and you spotted a small statue. Snatching it off the shelf, you sat down on the ground, your back against the tub. Using the statue, you propped the phone to point towards you and you spread your legs.

“Yeah, that’s good,” you heard Tony say softly and you could hear him already starting to jerk himself.

Your hand came to your pussy and you ran your fingers slowly up and down, not moving past your lips yet.

“How do you think I taste?” you asked, stroking slowly.

“So fucking good,” Tony returned, strained.

“You like tasting me?”

“It’s my favorite.”

Pressing one finger in, you moaned lowly. Your fingers came up to your mouth and you sucked on them before coming back to your clit, circling quickly.

“I wish it was you,” you keened, your fingers delving deeper.

“Fuck, me too,” Tony husked, speeding up.

Freeing your tits from your bra, you played with them, moaning as your fingers moved quicker. You kept your voice low as you teased him, hoping that no one would come up to the door. You had chosen the bathroom at the back of the house for a reason; the bigger one was closer to where everyone was.

Tony let out a groan as you described how wet and hot you were for him.

“I’m yours. All yours,” you told him, sultry.

“Shit, baby, I’m so close,” Tony groaned.

“Come for me, please,” you half whined, spreading your lips further apart to give him a better view inside. You continued encouraging him, circling your clit quickly.

“Fuck!” Tony exclaimed, shuddering breaths leaving him, and you knew he had finished. Your hand slowed and you waited until you were sure he was done before you dropped your hand. Picking up the phone, you covered your pussy again. The phone was pointed up at the ceiling; he must have laid it down on the counter.

After a few moments, he exhaled deeply, “Christ. Thank you, baby. That was good.” He picked the phone back up and said, “I gotta get cleaned up. Don’t forget to text. Have fun at your party.”

He hung up and you let out a breath of relief that he had one, gotten off, and two, no one had interrupted you.

You got yourself straightened out again, remembering to flush just to keep up the allusion. You did wash your hands though for real before leaving the bathroom.

“Thought you fell in,” one of your cousins joked when you appeared back in the dining room.

“No, sorry to disappoint,” you returned, pulling your chair back out and you sat down, picking up your fork. Everyone was almost done or already done. You took a big bite and chewed, savoring it. You gave your uncle the thumbs up down the table and he looked happy.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming @oceaniamaddness @multifandom-superlover @imsonick @holl2712 @here4thefanfics @agustdowney @fanofalltheficsx @buttercandy16

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

It's ILI! If it isn't hard for you to write it... "Can I buy you a coffee?" Kelso to Brooke!

For context: Eric, Kelso, Fez, and Hyde were sitting in a smokeless circle. It's Kelso's first visit since the New Year over 6 months before, he's holding Betsy in his arms and he looks miserable.

"Can you believe that?!" Kelso said indignantly "Just when I was about to ask her to try again, I see her going out for lunch with this doctor guy! That is so unfair!"

"Kelso, you dumped Brooke to be with my sister" Hyde said, annoyed "I don't think you get a saying on her dating life anymore"

"But... I love her, and I really want to be with her" Kelso replied "I never felt this way about a chick before, man. Not with Angie, not with Laurie, not even with Jackie. It's like... she makes me forget about all the awful things in the world, and I want to be around her all the time"

"Yep, he's in love alright" Eric said

"Yeah, you’re screwed” Hyde said

“Do you think I should fight for her?” Kelso asked, his hands absentmindedly stroking Betsy’s hair 

"Kelso, I love you, but if I hear you talking about Brooke again, I am going to leave" Fez said seriously

"Well, I'm sorry Fez, but you never had your heart broken before, so I'm gonna keep on talking!"

Fez glared at him "I see. So you think Fez never had his heart broken before? Well, Fez was dumped by Jackie after dating her for two, glorious days. Then Fez saw Nina at the salon, and she was getting ready for her wedding day. And then, Fez saw Rhonda at the Hub, looking glorious. Fez asked her out, and she said no. Fez’s heart was broken so many times, that it’s barely a heart anymore! It’s just dust in between Fez’s lungs!”

Eric, Hyde, and Kelso stared at him like he went nuts.

"Fez, man, if you want to make people feel bad for you, then you have to quit with this third person crap" Hyde said after a few minutes of silence "It makes me wanna punch you in the face"

“You...” Fez said, glaring at Hyde “This is all your fault! I’m leaving, good day!”

“But Fez...” Kelso said, wondering what caused his outburst. But before he could ask, Fez walked out of the basement, slamming the door on his way out.

“What the hell was that? He didn’t even say ‘I said good day’ like he normally does. He only does that when he’s extra pissed”

“Fez thinks Jackie broke up with him because of Hyde” Eric said

“Which makes no sense, because Jackie made pretty fucking clear that we’re ‘just friends’ now” Hyde muttered dejectedly

“Wait, since when are you and Jackie friends?” Kelso asked, looking confused “When I left, she hated your guts!”

“Hyde apologized to her for being the world’s biggest jackass and asked her for another chance,” Eric explained “She said no, because y’know, Jackie’s smart, and...”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Hyde hissed at him, punching his arm

“Dude, you married a stripper!” Eric said, rubbing his now sore arm

“And I’m paying for it, Forman! I already apologize to Jackie every damn day, I’m not going to apologize to you too!”

“Wait, you and Jackie are actually friends?” Kelso asked curiously, and Hyde nodded "Aw man, I feel so left out! I haven’t seen you guys for like, 6 months! Did I miss a lot? What else happened when I was gone?"

“Well...” Eric started, clearing his throat “Jackie rejected Hyde’s multiple attempts to get her back and she’s now making him pay for all the crappy things he did by letting him be around her, without actually being with her; Donna and I are currently trying to learn how to do our own laundry so we won’t have to come here every weekend; a new candy shop opened right next to the salon, but Fez got kicked out of there after hitting on the owner’s wife; my mom’s trying to force my dad to go jogging with her, and Jackie got a few modeling gigs so she’s been unbearable to be around”

“That’s it?” Kelso asked, looking at both os his friends, who nodded at him “I haven’t seen you guys in six months, and that’s all you got?! Wow, I really am the glue that holds this group together”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Kelso” Hyde said, rolling his eyes

“Well...” Kelso started, but Eric interrupted him

"Good talk guys, now I'll go see if Donna's up for some nookie time" Eric said with a small smile

"But we... We're in a circle!" Kelso argued

"Kelso, it's not a real circle if we can't... you know. Use the thing that makes the circle fun!"

“Nuh-uh! We’re still sitting on a circle, and you haven’t told me what to do about my whole thing with Brooke!”

“Yeah...” Eric said, standing up and moving to grab his coat on top of the record player “Good luck with that, pal”

Kelso stared increduosly at the door Eric just slammed closed. How dare him abandon his oldest friend during one of the hardest times of his life for sex?!

"You know what? You're a good friend, Hyde" Kelso said "Thanks for not abandoning me while I'm going through a crisis, now...”

"Actually..." Hyde said, tapping his thighs as he stood up from his chair "I'm off to meet Jackie. See ya, Kelso. Betsy"

Hyde ruffled the toddler’s hair before walking towards the basement door, and Betsy giggled, clapping her little hands.

“Ackie!” She said, and Hyde smiled at her.

"Wait, you're meeting with Jackie?!" Kelso asked "But you said she just wanted to be your friend!"

"I don’t know man, I think she’s opening up to me," Hyde said, grinning from ear to ear, "I’m just waiting for the right moment to ask her out again, and something tells me that’s going to be soon”

“But Hyde...” Kelso said, but Hyde left before he could finish his sentence.

Kelso sighed and looked at the toddler sitting on his lap, she was laughing, and he had a feeling that maybe, she was laughing at his misfortune.

“Dada, burn!” Betsy said

Yup, she was definitely laughing at him.

**

Kelso adjusted the baby carrier on his chest, trying to make sure Betsy wouldn’t fall off. When he was sure his girl was safe, he walked up the stairs of Point Place’s library.

Brooke asked him to drive both her and Betsy to Point Place earlier today, claiming she wanted to meet with a few of her old girlfriends, and Kelso said yes right away. He’s been dying to spend more time with her, and the commute from Chicago to Point Place was three hours long.

She said that after she finished brunch with her friends, she’d be at the library, and that’s where Kelso hoped she was right now.

After a long talk with Mrs. Forman (since his friends couldn’t care less about his problem), he decided he’s just going to confess his feelings to Brooke. At this point, he didn’t care if she was dating this doctor guy, he just needs her to know because he feels like he’s going to burst every time he’s near her.

He found her sitting in the more isolated corner of the library, reading a thick book.

He took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Betsy announced their presence.

“Mama!” The toddler said, squirming as she tried to escape the baby carrier.

Brooke immediately looked up and smiled, making Kelso weak on his knees, She has a beautiful smile.

“Hey baby!” She said, putting her book down and unclasping the baby carrier, taking the toddler in her arms and kissing the top of her head “How was your day with your dad?”

“Dada sad” Betsy said, and Kelso’s eyes widened in shock.

“Why’s your dad sad, Betsy?”

“He wuvs mama” The toddler answered as she played with the collar of her mother’s coat. Brooke’s eyes immediately met with his, and he felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

“What?” Brooke said

“Dada wuvs mama” Betsy repeated, and Kelso licked his extremely dry lips, trying to think of something to say.

“Michael, what is she talking about?” Brooke asked, and Kelso sighed. This is not how he was planning on telling her.

“Uhh... Nothing?”

“Michael...”

“Fine! She may have overheard my conversation with the guys, where I told them... I told them I loved you and I that was sad because you’re dating that doctor”

Brooke’s mouth hang open in shock “What?!”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Kelso said “No, actually, I’m not sorry, Brooke. It’s how I feel and you should know”

Brooke took a deep breath “What makes you think I’m dating Christopher, Michael?”

“I saw you two talking, and hanging out, and...”

“He’s my friend, and he’s gay, you moron!” Brooke said “In fact, he has a crush on Fez since he came to visit the last time”

“He has a crush on Fez?” Kelso laughed “Oh, burn!”

“Michael!”

“Okay, okay, sorry!” Kelso said “I really thought you two were going out, I mean, you went out for lunch, and...”

“Two friends can have lunch together” Brooke argued, sending a pointed look at Kelso, and dammit, she looks pissed. Kelso just hoped she was pissed about him making assumptions, not about him loving her.

"So, since you’re not actually seeing anyone... Can I buy you a coffee?" Kelso asked, smiling softly at her. She kept glaring at him for a few seconds, before smiling back.

“Well...” Brooke said, bouncing the toddler in her arms “I just had brunch with the girls, so... Maybe some ice cream?”

Kelso’s smile widened.

“Awesome!” He yelled enthusiascally, and some people shushed him in response. 

Brooke laughed and took his hand “Let’s go”

[fangirlovestuff]

A Very Colin Christmas - Colin Shea x reader

Ch.4 - A Holy Jolly Christmas

ch.1  ch.2  ch.3

a/n - hey lovely people!! here’s the fourth chapter, and a reminder that tomorrow there’s no chapter and friday will be the last one, so happy Christmas eve eve to those who celebrate, enjoy!<3

Summary: Slowly but surely, you discover why Colin was so apprehensive about having his family over, and also realize something you should’ve realized long ago...

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: curse words, angst if you squint

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, it was the morning of Christmas eve, and you figured you should do some grocery shopping before stores close down for the holidays, so you put on your clothes and headed out of the apartment, locking the door behind you and turning around to –

"Good morning," Eleanor was standing in the threshold of Colin's apartment, the morning newspaper in her hand.

"Good morning," you answered with a smile you hoped didn't look too fake.

"Who lives there?" she asked.

"Just, uh… my friend," you shifted uncomfortably. "I um, this morning I got a text to… come help her, and now we're done and it's still pretty early so I figured I wouldn't bother you. I was just going home to change."

"Alright, we'll see you later I assume," she stated.

"Of course," you smiled awkwardly and went down the stairs as quickly as you could. Once you were out of the building you started heading to the shop, and as you were walking you pulled out your phone to call Colin. He didn't answer, and you sighed in frustration before putting your phone back in your bag. You hoped he had enough sense to handle it on his own.

While you were shopping, there were some interesting developments at Colin's.

"Colin," Eleanor barged into his room and opened the curtain. "I think your girlfriend is cheating on you."

It took his foggy brain a second to register her words. "What?"

"I don't think you can trust her," she crossed her hands on her chest.

"Good morning to you too," he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Colin, I'm being serious, I-"

"I know mom, let me just wake up for a few minutes and we can talk about it, alright?"

"Fine," she said, her lips drawn into a thin line and left the room. Colin sighed groggily and went to get dressed and brush his teeth. He didn't know what the fuck his mom was talking about, but he sure as hell was going to stall as much as he could without knowing.

When he went into the kitchen, she was there. Obviously.

"There you are! So this morning I went out to bring the newspaper."

"Anything interesting in it?" he asked as he started making himself a coffee.

"No, but listen to this – when I was in the hallway the door opposite opened, and guess who came out? Your girlfriend, Colin. It was your girlfriend."

It took all of his willpower not to burst into laughter on the spot. Instead, he frowned. "What did she say?"

"That her friend was living there and needed help. But I'm not buying it," she shook her head. "She looked very suspicious."

"Well, she's telling the truth mom," he smiled. "Her friend is living there. She introduced us, actually," he lied casually.

"Oh," Eleanor frowned. "Okay then."

Only when she left Colin could allow himself to snicker into his coffee. That was close.

When you came back with your groceries, you prayed Eleanor wouldn't see you, since you couldn't excuse that away if she had. But thankfully, the hallway was empty, and you let yourself into your apartment without any more awkward encounters.

You shot Colin a text asking him when he wanted you to "arrive" at his place, and he said that in about an hour or so. That gave you just enough time to take a long shower and almost forget about the morning.

An hour later, fresh out of the shower, you knocked on Colin's door. Eleanor opened the door, and she smiled a tight-lipped smile as she ushered you in.

You both sat down in the living room, Colin and his dad nowhere in sight. You assumed they were both somewhere in the house and simply didn't hear you arrive, but you thought asking where they were was maybe a little tactless as Eleanor led the way to the living room, sitting down seemingly eager to talk to you.

"So," she started, "how did you and Colin meet?"

"Oh, um," you fumbled over your words for a second trying to come up with a convincing story, "I met him at a gig of his. I thought his music was great and when we got to know each other I realized how great he was himself," you smiled.

"Really? That's funny, because Colin told me your friend from across the hall was the one who introduced you…" she trailed off in an unsaid question.

Your heart was racing as you tried to keep up with your lies, but you didn't let it show. "Well, she actually did. She was the one who brought me to see his show that night. When she told me her neighbor was a musician I was a little skeptical, but we both had a great time. After the show she took me backstage and introduced us, and the rest is history," you channeled your relief into a smile.

"Grilling her already, mom?" Colin said from behind you and you resisted the urge to sigh in relief as he came to sit beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

"We were just having a conversation, son," she chuckled.

You chuckled as well, trying to diffuse the tension. "Yeah, I was just telling her about the night we met, when we were at that gig of yours."

"Oh yeah, it's a cute story," he smiled at you.

"When are Andy, Laurie and Jacob coming for dinner?" you asked in an attempt to change the subject before it gets awkward.

"They should be here at around six," Colin replied.

"Oh, you know Andy's a lawyer, right?" Eleanor asked you.

"Yes, we talked about it last night," you chuckled embarrassedly.

"Ah, of course! Anyway, I'm just wondering why his brother here doesn't follow in his footsteps," she reached forward as if sharing a secret with you. "You know, if you ever want to start a family, a steady income is very important."

"Well, we haven't even moved in yet, Eleanor," you were getting a little pissed now. "I'd say I have no say in what Colin chooses to do or not do, right?"

"Of course, I'm just worried about my little boy," she smiled at Colin and he returned what looked more like a grimace than a smile.

"You shouldn't be," you said, "he's wonderful," you looked at him and smiled genuinely.

"Awww, thank you," he said playfully, and you giggled.

"You two are such a cute couple," William, Colin's father said as he entered the room, sitting next to Eleanor.

"Yeah, you are," she agreed with him.

You and Colin just smiled at them. You didn't know what he was thinking, but what you yourself were thinking terrified you. I wish we were.

Soon enough everyone was there and you could start on the Christmas dinner, which was mostly courtesy of Eleanor and Laurie but at least Colin provided the venue. While you were eating, they were all talking amongst themselves, which left you plenty of time to think things over.

The thing was, while you had initially agreed to all of this, you just thought of it as a favor to a friend, nothing more, and now you were starting to realize just how… magical denial was. Because even in Colin's family was kind of annoying, apart from his admittedly hot older brother, Colin was surprisingly un-annoying for the last couple of days. He was actually being really… sweet.

It was the last thought that truly sent you spiraling. Because knowing Colin can be this sweet made it all the more bitter that it wasn't true.

Before, you could just tell yourself that Colin Shea wasn't really capable of love. That he wasn't ready. But now that you were seeing him like this, you knew that wasn't true, it couldn't be. No, the agonizing reality was – he can love. He just didn't want that, and certainly not with you. He had every opportunity to start something with you – hell, even just a one night stand – and he didn't. Sure, he flirted and joked around, but when it came down to it, you knew what Colin Shea seriously flirting looked like, and it never once happened with you, and you were sure of that.

Because if he really tried, deep down you knew you would let him succeed.

The food in your mouth suddenly became too dry, and you gulped down some water to steady yourself.

After dinner, everyone sat down in the living room to watch a Christmas movie. You and Colin sat next to each other on the couch, and you were trying to concentrate on the film when his hand wrapped around your shoulder. Nothing too bold.

You tried to hold your concentration, but then he started drawing patterns on your shirt, running his hand along the covered curve of your shoulder and all together with your thoughts it was… just too much.

"You know what guys?" you said after a few minutes, "I think I should probably go. I'm just pretty tired, I'm sorry," you said as you left your chair.

They all just kind of stared at you, and you didn't blame the after that out of the blue statement. All you knew is that you needed out of here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[ziracona]

Hello! I have always believed that Michael needed better doctors and good treatment. He was simply billed as "Evil". Sometimes I think that at that time they were unaware or ignorant of mental illness, and that is why Michael did not recover. I wish it had been treated better. I would like to know your opinion about it ;v;

Oh, absolutely. Michael is a very tragic character, and what happened to him was almost entirely Loomis’ fault, secondarily the system and his parents’, and like onyl 0.8% his own. It’s true that mental health aid has historically been really bad in most places, and even today treatment and acceptance—even in specifically medical settings—tend to be abysmal. Of course people knew less than they do now about how psychological stuff works, but bias, cruelty, and superstition as well as a system that enables and even to degrees outright encourages that is to blame for the awful treatment people woth mental illnesses and personality disorders faced and continue to face, not just a lack of knowledge, and the history is really heavy and awful to look over. : ( It’s horrific some of the things doctors have done and do to people just trying to get help.

Like, in Michael’s case, we’ve had a name and understanding of psychosis since the 1800s. Canonically, by the time the poor kid was six years old, he was hearing voices telling him to do bad things to people. He told his parents, seeking help, and they did nothing to help him—just told him it was his imagination—despite knowing hos grandfather had suffered the same symptoms. If they had only taken him seriously and given him therapy and possibly medication too, Judith never would have died. (I am not goong to say it every time, but all this information is official canon) Michael’s reason for killing his family members is wanting the vocies talking to him to be quiet, because it’s agonizing. If you’ve ever had intrusive thoughts (stuff like “pull into oncoming traffic” or “break that and see what happens” and such that don’t actually compell or force you to do it at all, and are always things you as a person deeply do not want to do, but nevertheless are really annoying or distressing to hear in your head), imagine that cranked up to 1000, endless and constant, but from voices that seem to come from around you instead of in your head. Especially as a young child, with no understanding what is happening to you, this would be incredibly scary and distressing—doubly so when dismissed by your parents, whose sole job is supposed to be to love and protect you.

The voices say they’ll be quiet if Michael kills Judith, so Halloween night, he does. Important to note here Michael is recently six years old at the time, which developmental psych literally is not old enough to have a complete understanding what death itself is, let alone complex morality. You /cannot/ be evil at six, you simply don’t have a complex enough understanding of right and wrong or of consequence to /be/ evil. Also at this age, usually kids see death as a vague concept, but one that applies to people they don’t know only, not to them and their loved ones. In Halloween 1978, immediately after stabbing Judith, Michael looks away while he keeps doing it, and his breathing speeds up in a scared way. He barely looks at the body, and immediately goes down stairs to wait for his parents—probably for them to fix it—and does nothing to flee or hide what he’s done. He looks traumatized when they take his mask off. (Lots of little notes here like that Judith when she sees him seems annoyed but not very, and when he attacks her, tries to shield herself and call to him to stop, rather than fleeing or fighting back, which [appealing instead of fight or flight] is pretty exclusively something you only would use if attcked by someone you are on good terms with—I mean, Michael is six—if Judith had /tried/ to fight back, no way she would have died—so there’s less than nothing to indicate they had anything but a loving familial sibling relationship. But if I list all these I’m gonna launch into my six page Michael Myers meta so I will speed through the rest.)

Anyway! Sorry, I have many feelings. About...everything. Including Michael for sure. So, immediately after killing Judith, Michael stops talking. He also shows other psychosis and trauma readily recognized side effects, like catatonia, slowed movement. In Halloween 1978c Dr. Loomis claims he tried to treat Michael for eight years, then spent another seven trying to keep him locked up because he realized he was evil. This is a /blatant/ lie, as in film canon Loomis, by Michael’s review hearing I believe four months in? Six or less for sure, I believe it is four. Loomis has /already/ become convinced Michael is a demon in human form, faking his symptoms, and itching to kill again. The other doctors think Loomis is crazy, as does the other doctor who examines Michael, but they’re awful people so they let him stay Michael’s doctor anyway, even though they refuse to move him to Litchfield maximum security. By this time only a few months in, Loomis is canonically also threatening the six year old in his care and constantly telling him he is an evil being who wants to get out and terrorize again. (Also, I will die enraged the sentance Michael gets for killing Judith is to remain locked in solitary in a sanitorium for /15/ years, until he turns 21, at which point he will be tried as an adult for murder??? The fuck?? You CANNOT charge a 6 year old’s crime in adult court! ‘Tried as an adult’ is meant for like, when a 17 year old dismembers their family and eats them! It’s for particularly heinous crimes, committed by someone /very/ close to being legally an adult, and that /only/. The idea of waiting fifteen years to try someone as an adult for something done at age six is laughable and sick).

Okay this is already long, I get carried away rip. Uhhh, anyway, yeah. In Smith’s Grove, Michael is visited by mom and Laurie once, then never sees any of his family again, because his dad hates him and forbids the others—finds out because Laurie is four and talks that they went /one/ time, and physically beats four year old Laurie for mentioning his name until she trauma blocks out ever having had a brother. From then on, Michael spends /fifteen/ years and all the dest of his developmental stages of childhood in a sanitorium with Dr. Loomis—a man who on wild religious superstition grounds assumes by his own admission /on sight/ that Michael is evil, and no other human contact. According to canon, Michael spends at least four hours of /every/ day with Loomis, his /only/ human contact, who threatens him, promises to stop him, and endlessly barrages him with “You’re evil, you’re not human, you want to kill again, I /will/ stop you,” and nothing else. He also canonically keeps Michael overdosed on a type of antipsychotic that, while a fine drug if used normally, if overdosed can deeply worsen symptoms, and can cause permanent brain damage.

Honestly, if a six year old is exposed yo major trauma, none of their issues are explained, legitimized, or believed, and almost all of their developmental stage is spent with endless voices they don’t know the cause of suggesting murder and violence, one human being and authority figure telling them over and over and over for fifteen years with no other constant in their life or human contact period that they are a demon in human form who wants to kill and is /going/ to do so again...? How else was that story ever going to end? I’ve said it before, but that’s beyond conditioning; it’s lab growing a human child to one day walk out and murder Laurie Strode with a large kitchen knife.

I stand by Halloween is a greek tragedy more than a slasher, and Michael and Laurie are both victims. He’s the Asterios, she’s the Ariadne. Loomis the Minos, the real villain. (Or the Poseidon choose your poison).

Anyway, I 100% agree! If he had just gotten help from his parents, Judith would have never died. If he’d had good doctors, none of the events of 1978 would have come to pass, or anything after it. Loomis single-handedly causes the deaths in 1978 himself through years of cruelty, and bigoted bias towards a small child in his care who needed his help, not his abuse, but he chose to break as much as he possibly could despite his responsibilities as a doctor, an adult, and a human.

If you’re interested, I did a canon-deep-dive character study short story on Michael on AO3! Halloween is such a sad story but it’s fascinating. God, poor Michael and Laurie deserved so much better than they got. It’s a testament to Michael’s character that even after 15 years of Dr. Loomis, he really only kills his intented target(s) in search of quiet from the voices, and anyone who sees him/would be a threat, and not other people. Makes no attempt to kill any of the kids in Halloween 2018, and only kills Bob when he literally opens the door to his hiding spot and Michael is found and Bob becomes a threat to him. In H20, after Michael has had 20 years on his own, you get arguably the least brutal Michael, who intentionally passes on killing the mother and child, and the security guard he walks right past, because they don’t see him and thus he doesn’t /have/ to. Halloween II is less intentionally avoiding, but even then he still does the same multiple times too, like with the old lady making a sandwich, or the scene in the incubator room. Anyway he desevered better fuck Loomis all my homies hate Loomis.

[cblgblog]

Deep breath here we go, Jamie was born in 1980.

John is an August 1981 birth.

Karen is a 1981 birth.

Steven was born in 1995, Allyson in 2001.

Pause here, note my amusement that Laurie had her kids at 19, and 20, while her kids had kids at 15, and 20, making her a Grandma at 34.

H20 crosses over with the comics so at least two timelines collide.

So imagine that AU where Laurie gave up Jamie because she felt like she was too damaged to keep her so Jamie grew up with adoptive parents like in the movie, where John came along because Laurie's a fucked up person going through trauma and not careful and he went to his dad with visitation but then fucking here comes Karen and she just CAN'T and gets surgery, and keeps Karen the same freaking year as her last/only cause she can't keep giving those she loves away, living in fear.

Except that only last so long cause PPA and PPD and the building anxiety against a man that tried to kill her, kill those she cared for, and she raises Karen as a mini weapon so to speak.

Where she loses Karen to social services and then two years later not only does Michael escape but he goes after Jamie thinking Laurie's dead, and then Jamie's DEAD and there's baby Steven with no one in the world.

Or well the AU full of pain where Laurie was almost murdered, her bio parents and sister WERE murdered, her daughter was raped/murdered, and she's raising her grandson/nephew even though she didn't raise her son (who nearly died) and lost her only surviving child who now doesn't take her seriously in thinking that monster can return at any moment.

Cause we're thinking happy thoughts tonight up in this bitch. Am I asking for a horror novel? I don't know. Am I asking for a soap opera? You fucking bet. Is this fucked up and twisted that that means a 14 year old John failed in helping to protect his sister from rape and murder? Abso fucking lutely. Does that mean most of it was hidden from the poor wittle baby Karen? 100%. But hey, don't worry, so long as Michael stays in the mental asylum, and little Steven never does any 23 and Me's they should be great... right? Right? (Or that AU where the world is fucked, Laurie doesn't have her kids except when she visits with John and has supervised visits with Karen, but she does have a grandson who look far too much like the face she stared into and still sees in her nightmares)

See kids, this is what we like around here, kids. Happy Myers AUs where Judith lives and everything’s fine? No. No, no, no offense to those who like those sorts of things, but here we go for trauma, and mixing and matching the best/worst of the beautiful smorgasbord of garbage and children and garbage children that is the Halloween franchise.

· Laurie the virginal one who got teased so much for it, becoming a tad bit of a slut (in her own words) after 1978 because trauma will do that to you.

· John who has the abusive, chain smoking addict of a father—who is still deemed a fit parent, at least more fit than Laurie, yay for the US Social Services system.

· Every other mom tells their kids that the boogeyman isn’t real, just pretend. Annnddd then there’s Karen. Who used to envy John because he got to go away and be with his dad. While Karen…look Laurie met Karen’s dad at a bar some night. Probably. There are several candidates, but Karen doesn’t have anyone to get away to.

· Sometimes Laurie wakes up screaming, and John isn’t there, so Karen has to be the one to comfort her. Which sometimes involves hugs and cuddles, more often involves two AM practice drills. Running, fighting, assembling guns. Things that make Laurie feel better, Karen, not so much.

· The sister John and Karen don’t know about, except they do, because there’s a loose board in Laurie’s room, and they found it and thought it was one of her games, one of her hiding places. Got to be observant, got to see where everything is, or could be. Most kids had Easter basket hunting. They had 2 minutes to find all the hiding places with all the weapons in the house, otherwise bang, you’re dead, Bogeyman got you.

· Karen and John who found one of those places, thought it was new—Mom always found new ones—thought Mom would be pleased they discovered it on their own. But no weapons there, just a couple pictures of a baby they both assume is one of them, and okay that’s a weird thing to hide, but Mom’s weird. Except when they show her what they found, she doesn’t praise them, she goes still and quiet and far away like she does sometimes, and they both get worried but then she comes back and tells them they did good, except she doesn’t sound like herself. Takes the pictures back, and the next time they look, that board is fixed.

· And then eventually, well, then bad things happen and John gets told he has to protect his sister, but that doesn’t make sense to him because Karen snuck out for a Halloween party, he told mom that when things got bad all of a sudden. Karen isn’t here. She isn’t safe, but he can’t protect her from here.

· Except well, that’s not the sister Laurie means, as it turns out, and by the time John’s even halfway processed that, it’s already too late. By the time Karen is brought home by literal cops—God Mom really?—it’s all happened already. You had a sister, you don’t now, you have a brother/nephew, don’t start with me about it right now.

[afriendlyblackhottie]

I'm baffled because all people say is that Andy is hot and powerful and right, and I never ever once questioned if he's not and more importantly I never questioned if Lauren wasn't so bad. I also see a lot of people saying that they didn't watch the show and they don't like Laurie, I never watched either (and don't have a solid opinion on both) so that's why I don't know much but still, I thought it was alright and always viewed the Laurie hate club as common. Makes me think how we automatically assume the woman's at fault and don't even stop to think how we're constantly misjudging and dragging women in favor of men

We so do. Especially mother’s and wives. I think it’s because it’s so easy to go well I would do this or I would do that but most of the time you don’t know what you’re gonna do until it happens it’s so easy to say that

Even in Andy’s case. While I do dislike do nothing dads, I don’t think that’s Andy. I think he was a man that was afraid for his child. And when you are afraid for your kids you will do fucked up things you will do things you normally don’t do. There are things that I never thought I would do and I don’t even have kids and these are my nieces and nephews. Like as a parent you’re gonna do things that you are like this is fucking crazy I’m a do it anyway I’m going to ignore things because I love my child and I want them to be normal.

Doesn’t mean it’s healthy. But that doesnt make you a bad person necessarily. And Andy still overcame his murder gene. He is not the one on trial. He was trying to do what he thought be needed to do as a parent. While his wife was neglected and he also didn’t know what to do I just don’t like the automatic demonization of Laurie coupled with the way no one addresses that and he seriously had issues with the things he was doing and while a part of me is like that’s kinda hot that he would do all that protect his child whatever lmao  that doesn’t make it any less troubling.

So actually in conclusion they should have just gotten rid of Jacob, tried again, and hoped for the best.

Omg this is back to team Laurie because that was definitely her plan. 

[kinnoth]

Gender non conforming Jo because she's the tallest and strongest of all the sisters and they don't have a man in the house so Jo has to do all the man responsibilities. Bringing in wood. Tilling the garden. Dealing with people who don't like her family's politics. Protecting and chaperoning her sisters. Jo who has to sit up with a gun sometimes to keep the foxes away from the hens. Jo who has to work outside the house. Jo who loves her sisters but only really connects with them when they all get to make believe they don't live the lives they lead. Jo who knows that her responsibilities and wartime allowances have changed her enough that, outside of her family, no one will ever accept or understand her. Jo who needs to keep her family together or else she knows she will never have a family again.

She still wears dresses and all that but she has her work clothes -- dad's old stuff -- which everyone is just used to her wearing around a lot of the time. Meg gets on her case for not taking more care of her hair and her clothes and manners; her nails are always dirty, and she's very dark from being in the sun -- but Jo is fucking busy. "I have to do all the things you don't have to do, so why should I also have to do the things you do?"

Laurie sees the March sisters as a respite from the burdens of being an upper class man but Jo is functionally treated as a working class man, and she sees him transparently and is just like bro seriously? You don't know how good you have it.

Jo who dreams of being afforded the privileges of being a man as well as the burdens. Laurie dreams of being afforded the privileges of being a working class girl as well as the privileges of being an upper class man. They cannot meet in the middle.

[qrovidcore]

hey what’s up tumblr i’ve now seen hbo’s watchmen all the way through Three Fucking Times and i very well may go for a fourth if given an excuse whoops and apparently i can’t stop thinking about Laurie’s joke in She Was Killed By Space Junk, no i’m not the first person to analyze this and i’m sure i won’t be the last but i sure do have some Thoughts^TM,  so here’s some meta let’s go.

major spoilers ahead for the entire series:

Hey, it’s me again. I’ve got a joke. Stop me if you’ve heard this one. There’s this guy, he’s a bricklayer. He’s really good at it. He’s a real master of his craft. Because he’s precise. Every brick has its place. Anyway this guy has a daughter and he’s gonna teach her to be a bricklayer because after all, all a man has is his legacy. So dad decides to build a barbecue in the backyard. He does the math. He figures out exactly what he needs and he shows the daughter how to do everything. Step by step. And when he finishes, it’s a beauty. It’s a perfect barbecue. Just the way he drew it in blueprints. Only one problem. There’s a brick left over. One single brick. The guy freaks out. He must have done something wrong. He’s gonna have to start all over again. So he picks up his sledgehammer to knock the thing to pieces and his daughter suddenly says ‘daddy wait! I have an idea.’ She picks up the orphan brick and throws it up into the air as high as she can. And then…shit. Messed it up.

Okay forget that joke. Can I tell you another one?

As I said, I’m not the first to break down that Laurie is referring to specific people who have an influence on the story, there’s plenty of meta posts online that’ll say the same thing. I just think this is a Really Clever way to introduce us to her, to the major players in this story, and to the events from the comic that are going to end up being referenced. Anyhow, the bricklayer here is The Comedian. Laurie’s father. I’ll get back to this and how it connects later, but given that one of Watchmen’s major themes is the concept of legacy - who carries it and how, and what happens when that legacy is painful - this is a neat little hook into that idea. Laurie’s dad’s legacy. What she’s done with it, what she’s going to do with it, how she feels about it. Again, coming back to that.

Okay. Forget the brick. New joke. Three heroes die and they all show up at the pearly gates. God’s there and he’s going to decide what their eternal fate shall be: heaven or hell. Our first hero is dressed up like a big owl. God says to him “I gifted you the ability to make fantastic inventions. What did you do with this amazing talent?” Owl guy says “I made this really awesome flying ship and lots of cool outfits and weapons so I could bring peace to the city.” God asks, “So how many people did you kill?” Owl guy seems offended. He says “Zero. I didn’t take a single life.” God frowns. “Sorry owl guy, your heart’s in the right place but you’re just too soft.” God snaps his fingers and the hero goes to hell.

I'm not super into the comic so it took me a while to get that she's referencing Nite Owl. I think this is strange since he doesn't appear in the show himself, whereas everyone else she talks about does, but I suppose it gives a more rounded-out view of the different approaches to heroism, and what exactly constitutes it, and also ties in another one of the original Minutemen. They did cut this over her arrest of Mr. Shadow in the bank, which makes me wonder about his role and why he appeared, and I still find it strange that this part of the joke wasn't about someone who had more of a presence in the show. (Though that being said, DC making fun of Batman, their own big-ticket character? 10/10 thank you for this).

Where was I? The pearly gates await our next hero in line for Almighty judgment. Our hero number two is confident he can game this out because that’s his God-given talent: smarts. Some might even say he’s the smartest man in the world. “So what did you do with that big brain I gave you?” asks God. “As a matter of fact, I saved humanity, ”says Smarty Pants. “Well how’d you do that,” asks God.” “Well I dropped a giant alien squid on New York and everybody was so afraid of it they stopped being afraid of each other.” “OK,” says God. “How many people did you kill?” Smarty Pants smiles. “Three million, give or take. But you can’t make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs. “Christ,” God says. “You’re a fucking monster.”  “Am not,” says Smarty Pants. God snaps his fingers and our hero goes to hell.

GOD YES PLEASE DRAG OZYMANDIAS. GET THIS FUCKER’S ASS. Though the line that’s sticking out to me here is “You can’t make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs.” Watchmen’s got an egg motif - and that’s an entire post on its own - and wow this is a place to drop it. I find it interesting that it’s given to Adrien here. Especially since it comes back later, when Will tells Angela that that’s what Jon said in justification of giving his life to stop the 7th K/Cyclops and Trieu. Eggs are used for a lot of things, but this line ties the motif solidly to a value of life here - how Adrien is the way he is because he refuses to value other peoples’, and maybe how Jon is the way he is because, when you can see the future laid out before you and live knowing how you’re going to die, how do you learn to value your own?

Okay. We’re down to the nitty gritty now. One hero left. God cracks his knuckles ready to administer the final reckoning. Now Hero Number 3 is pretty much a god himself. So for the sake of telling them apart, he’s blue and he likes to stroll around with his dick hanging out. He can teleport, he can see into the future, he blows shit up. He’s got actual superpowers. Regular God asks Blue God what have you done with these gifts?” Blue God says “I fell in love with a woman, I walked across the sun, and then I fell in love with another woman. I won the Vietnam War. But mostly I just stopped giving a shit about humanity.” God sighs. “Do I even need to ask how many people you’ve killed?” Blue guy shrugs. “A live body and a dead body have the same number of particles so it doesn’t matter. And it doesn’t matter how I answer your question because I know you’re sending me to hell.” “How do you know that?” asks God. Blue God sounds very sad when he softly says “Because I’m already there.” And so, a mere piston in the inevitable of time and space God does what he did and will do. He snaps his fingers and the hero goes to hell.

And now, we’ve got Jon. Dr. Manhattan. It's a neat moment of insight into his actions, motives, and how those are perceived by others (namely Laurie), and it's a nice thread of introduction to his previous actions to drop for audiences who haven't read the comics (actually, I can make this point about Adrien’s part of the joke too). Especially because most of what we get of Jon in-show is his relationship with Angela, his entire character arc really revolves around her and we don't see him portrayed as the contentious, unfeeling figure the world sees him as. So this sort of contrast between him as a figure and him as a person is very telling, doubly so coming from someone who it's clear knew him. And I really appreciate that there’s just as much stiffness as there is warmth to the Jon we the audience see - he’s kind, he’s loving, but he’s also very matter-of-fact and deterministic, and that bit of characterization really spans the gap between these two versions of him.

And so it’s been a long day at the pearly gates. All the heroes have gone to hell. His work done, God’s packing up to go home and then he notices someone waiting. But it’s not a hero, it’s just a woman. “Where did you come from?” asks God. “Oh I was just standing behind those other guys the whole time, you just didn’t see me.” “Did I give you a talent,” God asks. “No, none to speak of,” says the woman.  God gives her a good long look. “I’m so sorry. I’m embarrassed. Seriously, this almost never happens but I don’t know who you are.” And the woman looks at God and she quietly says “I’m the little girl who threw the brick in the air.” And a sound from above, something falling: the brick. God looks up but it’s too late. He never saw it coming. It hits him so hard, his brains shoot out his nose. Game over. He’s dead. And where does God go when he dies? He goes to hell. 

Into some Thoughts^TM that I haven’t seen anyone theorize yet(?): I think God is meant to be Lady Trieu, and even if Laurie wouldn’t know this yet that’s some brilliant fucking foreshadowing. It's not as exact, but enough parallels are there that I think they're purposeful. It makes Trieu out as the ultimate judge of everyone - and in a way, she is. She sees herself as the most deserving of power of everyone, and it's her who kills Dr. Manhattan - sends him to hell, you could say, and he knows she's going to do it. It also hints at how she's going to die too, crushed by her machine falling from the sky like the brick, because she didn't expect anyone would be capable of stopping her. And where does God go when he dies? He goes to hell. Trieu isn't ultimately above the others, and she's subject to their justice as they are to hers. 

Fitting too that Laurie is involved with the plan to stop Trieu, since, as I said I’d come back to, the girl who threw the brick is Laurie herself. Her depiction of herself in this way is representative, perhaps, of Laure's own feelings on vigilantism and what justice is, and that she's the force that's going to bring down these overblown personalities and their many incorrect uses of their abilities. Given this, it's interesting to think how the "failed" joke at the beginning connects, given that Laurie's dad is the bricklayer, and he's definitely... not a good person, or at least not in this continuity. But I wonder if it's indicative of what Laurie mentions about her parents training her up to do vigilante stuff (especially since she’s based in part(?) on a member of the Minutemen from the comic), and how she feels about her father and his work. If the brick is symbolic of his work as a vigilante, is Laurie throwing the brick in the air, and ultimately taking down the threat at the top, meant to indicate how she sees herself using what she learned from him, or - maybe and - a disrespect for his work based on her justified hatred of him?

Roll on snare drum. Curtains. Good joke. 

[evans-heaven]

Notes on Defending Jacob ep.4 (for fun lol, also not spoiler free)

This post is gonna be shorter (maybe lol) than the first one cause it's just one episode this time around! Definitely not crying about that 😅

Just a reminder, I'm not a pro and this isn't really a review, but I am shoved rather far up Chris Evans' bum, soooooo that should tell you everything you need to know before you read these notes (or any I make in the future) 🤣😋

Another reminder that I'm not asking anyone to take me seriously. I make these notes because I enjoy doing them.

K I'm done let's get into it!!

I knew the swimming scene was coming in this episode but damn, right off the bat huh? I'm okay with the heart attack tho so no sweat 🤣

Laurie sitting in her car in the parking lot outside the store, immediately I knew why, and I think a lot of us did too. It was so sad to see. Really places us inside the depth of the situation, even if its such a small action, it speaks volumes. Poor thing must have been tired physically and mentally. My heart got torn in two every time I saw her on screen throughout the episode. I just wanna give her a damn hug 😩😭

The juxtaposition of Andy and Laurie's faces during the meeting with Joanna, while subtle, says a helluva lot about how they feel. It was such amazing facial acting. Its clear from their expressions alone, who knows the story is bs and probably will admit it, and who also knows the story is bs, but definitely won't admit it.

The way Jacob and Joanna bounced off of each other as he continued his (bs) story, was intense, and the score added to it. Jacob's rising nerves led to mine doing the same, and I even found myself trying to figure out how he could have told the story better. Joanna's expression, the 'this lie ain't shit' one, was also quite influential. Like, you wanna help this 14 year old kid, but he can't even help himself and shit just keeps piling up.

Andy babe I know thats your kid, you wanna protect and coddle him but the police was the appropriate choice of contact. And clearly theres some deeper shit going down. He didn't call you or anyone else because it's not as it seems.

"Our memories are often less reliable than we think, particularly in moments of stress" PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who immediately thought of Laurie's memory of Jacob at the bowling alley. Like obviously it was a 3 second scene, and it seemed pretty telling, but what if that's only part of it? Or what if shes not remembering it the way it went down? Like, her kid was accused of murder, and what she thinks would make it make sense might be plaguing her and being twisted by her, because of stress and fear.

My immediate reaction to Laurie's rant at Jacob was to yell "I'M SORRY" 😭 legit felt like sis was reading ME the riot act. Stress is just piling up on her and she will not have her kid acting like everything has no reason to be the way it is. Waiting in parking lots for groceries to open is not normal, having all your friends alienate you is not normal, being the talk of the town for negative reasons is not normal. So sit tf down, eat your unseasoned food and stop complaining.

In that one moment, for Andy, everything was okay as he and Jacob sat watching the movie. Until, he realized everything wasn't okay. He just had to remember that his kid, who sat there, care free, laughing at the film, was gonna be on trial for murder. It's as easy to forget as it is to remember. Seeing Andy's face change so subtly, from a smile to worried gaze, broke my heart.

Andy saying 'of course not' when Laurie asked if there was a part of him that thinks he might have done it. Who was he trying to convince?

👏🏽LET👏🏽ME👏🏽TELL👏🏽Y'ALL👏🏽SOME👏🏽THING👏🏽

That acting in the scene where Andy met Matthew? That perfect mix of chill and resolve (for lack of better word) in the way Andy spoke? The 'don't fuck with me' energy that radiated off of him? Where is the Emmy?? WHERE IS IT???

Andy's just getting increasingly desperate and its lowkey unsettling. Idc if hes a snacc, dude is being a little ridiculous and needs to do himself a favor and see things from his wife's perspective. I know it may be hard but I don't even wanna imagine where his denial is gonna take him. Also the protectiveness leading him to burst into his kid's room in a very embarrassing way was...cringe 😅

As much as I wanted Laurie to have felt normal for once since everything went down, even for a fucking hour or two, I lowkey was waiting for some shit to happen in the diner. It just seemed too good to be true. The heartbreak/shock on Laurie's face when she found out was too real.

I'm interested to see Andy's meeting with his dad. I know its gonna be difficult/uncomfortable and the amazing acting I know we're gonna see will convey that really well. Also lowkey some shade from Laurie in that scene, I love 🤣

A few more short notes:

Andy ffs your kid's story sucks for a reason 🤦🏾‍♀️

Needa know the conversation Derek and his mom had with Pam 👀

That food looked hella unseasoned, put some butter on the bread at least lmao

Andy/Chris' laugh 😭🥰

Fuck Neal

Like seriously fuck him

The little guy playing young Andy omg 😭🥺

Fucking white kids oh my gawd y'all think I could ever tell my mother to shut up 😂🙄

That DO YOU HEAR ME with the lack of the "r" in hear...🥴

Some of those images Jacob saw in the therapist's office 😣 I know that was the point but sheesh lol

Who gets a salad with fries lmao is that normal

Did Jacob fold his pizza? Is that also normal?

Reporter lady didn’t deserve those fries smh 🙄

There was a lot of food in this episode 🤣

Jay Kobbs? Really? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣

Whatever it takes 😭 okay Steve Rogers 😭

Amazing acting from Michelle Dockery in this episode, especially the diner scene.

Amazing acting from Jaeden in the meeting with Joanna.

Amazing acting from Chris Evans no matter the scene (are we surprised? No lol), but especially when he met Matthew.

Thats all for now, see y’all for the next episode <3

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 2

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 31: I went to Tesco’s at Hampton at @8pm. It was weird. But I made it less weird by buying (amongst all the legit stuff I needed and some stuff for Karen’s mum) more booze. I have, atm about 30 assorted cans and 60 assorted bottles. I’m gonna stop buying booze now until I’m down to the last dozen. I don’t want owt to happen and I leave many behind!

Day 32: More than a calender month! I was rung up by a recruitment agent today about a contract with DHL as a remote support engineer to their aviation section. €400 a day! I’ve applied. Few beers tonight, watching a new Netflix release (Extraction) and catching up with Fog, Ham, Andy and Rog later at 10:30pm - yikes, might be pissed.

Day 33: Typing this on day 34. Dossed around during the day, few beers and another video call with fog, Ham and Rig plus I invited John Monk along. He was his usual self and signed off from the call with a moonie! Later on I had the pleasure of Scottish Louise video calling me! She was pissed, in her shed drinking den at her home with some neighbour called Ronnie and her daughter Ellie. She was her usual outrageous self who imaprted such gems as “Tim, you look old” and “Roger on coke is the only time I’ve taken it up the arse”. Nice.

Day 34: Today I skyped Laurie and ‘met’ Matthew and Nicholas for the first time. It was bloody fantatsic. Janine was there as well.I cannot believe it takes lockdown (plus an idea to get Laurie to add me to his regular Monday skype chat with Dad) that managed to get us doing something that should have happened years ago! It was so great to talk to them all face-to-face. Janine hasn’t changed a bit, Matthew is very quiet with Nicholas being the more gregorious twin. And Laurie is still Laurie. I’m reminded of how much I sort of miss him! It was all so comfortable. I loved it! Tomorrow is Dad’s 85th hence the 3-way chat idea. I hope it comes off!

Day 35: So dad and Laurie and I skyped. It was OK but my video feed was very dark, (still dunno why) and Lauire’s kept freezing. I dropped out so as to leave them to it, my thinking being the extra person takes up bandwidth, with the promise I’d call dad later. Before I could, Rita called me and suggested Dad and I skype, which we did. So, all in all, a good day of comms! And Dad seems his happy usual self - 85 years old! Amazing.

Day 36: I am really struggling to motivate myself this week. Today, I’ve done fuck all of note. That is all.

Day 37: A similar day to yesterday. All I have really managed to do is lay down audio from Pink Floyd (Absolutely Curtains) to a video I shot of a cow on yesterday’s walk. I am having a downer of a week without any good reason why, ld aside. I have worn my new walking boots today (’cos my old ones are leaking, I found out yesterday) and they fucking hurt, despite having tried to wear them in for months, albeit pathetically. Also, a few days ago (Friday 24th April), I got notification from HM Revenue & Customs that I’m getting tax rebate (from 2018-19) of £392. Yay!

Day 38: I received notification today that I’ve got a speeding ticket…last Thursday back from Tesco’s - 87mph somewhere between the A1 and Elton. I am hoping it’s a fixed penalty. I dunno whether it is yet, I just have to send the form off confirming it’s my car and I was driving. I spoke with Lynda from Woodfords asking her to ask for a rent reduction before I sign for another year. Plus, I let her know that I will be Howard and Sue’s eyes as the look at rental properties in Oundle - I do hope they return although it would be a shame for them that their plans have been scuppered (she’s lost her job in Oz due to Covid-19)

Day 39: Today I started another piece of exercise - up and down the stairs 26 times. Not sure why 26 - it was some thing online to do with the London Marathon, I think. It fucking killed. I used 13 clothes pegs for a counting system. I asked Karen to pick up some stuff when she was shopping (burgers, radishes) - Dan dropped them off, He was with Shaggy (driving his van) and going to see Jonah. That pisses me off - they should be social distancing, ffs.

Discoevered, today, that Cornershop, post-Brinful are fucking excellent. listening to the album ‘England is a Garden’ as I type.

Day 40: That 26 times up and down the stairs is fucking hard. I did videos about it today. My legs are aching like fuck right now.

Day 41: Just done Young Sam’s (Sam Clews) quiz. 3rd week running and it’s now become a habit and something I look forward to. Out of all the internet driven socialising I’m undertaking in ld, this is the weirdest - I feel totally detatched from all others taking part but, now, would feel pissed off if I didn’t or couldn’t join in. I got 47/70 this week. My best score and only about 8 off the winning score  -  most others aren’t doing it on their own!

Today’s walk was a cloudy one - I captured some fine, dramatic pics of the clouds. I am getting into this photography lark, albeit very amateurish. But, when I post any pics online (mostly FB), they seem to be widely appreciated, which is nice.

Day 42: Applied for a remote service delivery job with a firm called TTEC. £60k. Finished watching The Outsider. The creepiest TV show I have seen in years. Really great use of background music.

Day 43: Finished Mindhunter S2 last night. It’s so good but I cannot quite put my finger on why. Today has been a nothing day apart from day 2 of me not typing the letter ‘e’ in any post or comments on FB for a week. It’s hard.

Day 44: Watch Anna last night. A Luc Besson film that starts a kick-ass suprermodel. It’s right down my street. Today I have been lazy af. I need to pick up my online learning again…tomorrow, maybe! I watched Andy Murray Resurfacing. A documentary on Amazon. Fantastic. What a top man he is. Completely human and completely inhuman!

Day 45: Much talk in the news of possible lockdown relaxation. I am off the opinion we should stay the course until we are completely assured of beathing this thing i.e. a working, widely available vaccine. Dad and I Skyped - he is doing well, as usual. So is Rita. They both seem very happy in lockdown! Today has been a glorious day, weather wise. I had my walkk at 10ish this morming and it was very warm. Hottest day of the year so far I reckon.

Day 46: Bank holiday Friday (75th anniversary of VE day). Nice walk. Chat with Karen letting her know about being caught speeding just in case I am banned and need some out of town shopping. Watched second episode of DEVS by Alex Garland. It’s good and intriguing. Now, @7pm, gonna eat and hit the beers and smokes.

Day 47: Typing this at 15:45 on day 48. I had lots of beers and a good old chat with Rog…

Day 48: Today’s daily press conference was eagerly anticipated today with rumours of a relaxation in lockdown. It seems it was a fuss about nothing with no clear instructions - I didn’t watch it but, skimming the BBC news site, I shan’t be doing anything different over the next few weeks, not that I would anyway - furlough and self isolation are the order of the day and I won’t change that until I am sure it’s safe. Meanwhile people, including Danny flaunt the rules, it’s been pointed out to me plus I know he spends time with Jonah and Marc. It really fucks me off. So, the actions of the few mean I will lock myself down for as long, if not longer, as it takes. Attended Sam Clews quiz again. It passes the time. Also, I had half a scotch bonnet chilli with tea tonight (roasted veg, cous cous and sausages). Ridiculously hot!

Day 49: Received the speaker I ordered a few days ago (from eBay). It’s an AudioPro Addon T10. I got it for a very reasonable price from a German shop. As a result, the power lead isn;t three pin and that has seriously fucked me right off!

Meanwhile, I did my 26 stair climb before my daily walk today. It was easier than usual (surprise surprise) and I did 7km - but that was tough! ‘Cos I am on (yet another) free trial of Amazon Prime, I am ramping up watching stuff available. Last night I watched Booksmart - really nice little film with a great soundtrack. I am listening to Dan the Automater as I type. Today I watched half (3 eps) of The Night Manager and the film ‘The Founder’. The former is a superb series, the latter an OK film about Ray Kroc - the supposed founder of McDonald’s. Except he wasn’t; he was the wrong side of ambitious and a cunt.

Day 50: Stripped the 2 pin cable from the speaker I received yesterday and wired up a 3 pin plug and it worked. Win. And it sounds great. Win-win. Went to go shopping in Hampton but the car wouldn’t start. Loss. But it was the battery so I managed to borrow Karen’s jump starter which worked. Win.

Spent £107. Loss. But just under £40 was booze plus £10 for two big pizzas, two sides (dirty fries) and some dips. Win. Didn’t do any online learning - seriously fucking letting myself down. Loss.

Did my usual walking and 26 stair climb. The latter is hard but defo getting easier. Win. Day 51: Sam’s 51st birthday on day 51 - coincidence! Today I received my face mask from Lou - House of Stewart tartan. I’m pleased with it and that I have got a mask now. I managed to get up at a reasonable hour, just left 09:00, and revisit my web design course. Module 1, lesson 5 and I am fucking stuck. Trying to code an online CV with a side nav bar and I cannot get it to fucking work. Grrrrrr. Later, i got into a FB dispute (easily distracted due to the above) with someone over his statement of fact (Tim Martin’s treatment of Whetherspoons’ employees) when he doesn’t know it’s fact. It probably is, but that is not the fucking point.  I wish I could leave these sort of spats alone. I am drinking, at 20:45, peppermint tea as I type. Jeez, what’s happened to me?

Day 52: Well, last night took a swift chnage. Rog message me and, to cut a long story short, I hit the beers, also called Foggy later, got trashed. I got up today at gone 1pm. Sam posted on fb that Paul had forgort her birthday yesterday. Oh dear! The 26 stair climb and walking each day is noticeable for how knackered my legs feel all the time, I noticed today!

Day 53: My birthday! Nice comments and banter of FB. Rachael brought round a bottle of whisky; gobsmacked. Karen popped round some beers and sausage rolls. Sam sent a card, as did dad with a £50 cheque. Dan’s ordering me a pizza later.

Chuffed! Day 54: I went to bed late after a lot of beers, huge pizza and chips, a few smokes and a long call with WWJ and video chats with Fog then Rog. Got up around 1pm and dossed with my usual exercises and I made fish pie with a scotch bonnet. Day 55: Late one last night but up early today (11ish). Really fretting about hospital tomorrow. Nervous anyway but the safety aspect, in terms of Covid-19, isn’t helping.

Day 56: Hospital appointment was just for an eye scan so the consultant can review it. I was very surprised to see how few people were wearing face masks! I did two lots of washing today. (After the hospital) I went to Morrsions, Asda (queue too long though), B&M (queue too long though) then Tesco’s. All to buy a baseball cap ‘cos I’m fucked if I’m going to wet my hair each time I go out and want it to look presentable! In Morrsions (no mens’ clothing apart from underwear!) I stocked up of 10 cans of sugarfree apple Caraboa….I was only thinking of this drink just the other day. Yesterday I finished The Night Manager on Amazon. I liked it a lot but, also, expected much, much more from it consdiering the hype. Hugh Laurie has come a long way from comedy sketches with Stephen Fry!

Day 57:Received an email from Sueanne yesterday asking ( as designated spokesperson for everyone) how I am. The most interestring piece of news in a rather uninformative email was that the US has started to open resorts!

Day 58: I am writing this on Day 59. I started a two walk a day regime. The first walk I do is shorter, around 4km. my aim is to be ready for 1,000,000 steps Diabetic UK challenge (throughout July, August and September). I need to do just under 11,000 steps a day. The relaxation in ld rules makes this achievable. On that score, I am allowed to visit a friend’s house, as long as it’s just the two of us, outside, 2m apart. I went round Karen’s last night. I was desperate to have a Happy Hour (I allow myself a midweek beer - today (well, yesterday) is/was Wednesday!) of sorts with another human (rather than a video chat). I was there for about 2 hours, very enjoyable, and then came home. Then I had usual roasted veg with rice and sausages but I couldn’t eat it. I used half a scotch bonnet rather than the usual birdeye chillis. It was too hot, had to sling it! Had a few more beers and, hence, neglected my diary duties!

Day 59: It’s 01:20am. I don’t know why I am still awake and up, but I am. But, also, I am now going to bed. Nothing else to report, really.

Day 60: Half way through 12 weeks furlough. I was discussing this with Dad and Rita earlier - I am expecting that, at the end of 12 weeks, I’ll be laid off. I hope I’m wrong but I reckon it’s well on the cards. Off to have a beer round Karen’s in a sec which will be pleasant. Just a hour or so. It’s fucking windy today so I shall wrap up!