#seriously tho dynamics off the charts

[volcanicsleep]

thanks for hangin out yall :)

@autumnhortsnort @elliwoods @donagotchi @fandomsarewhatilove

[sexyhighastro]

Well his mars opposite my venus, sun and jupiter

my mars square his venus

our moons opposite each other

and his saturn sextile my venus🫠

What.

Ok so are you an emotionally sensitive person?

This looks like a lot of arguments ahaha and hot hot making out. I’m gonna focus on the latter bc I’m guessing that’s what you are here for and I’m high as kite right now and that’s what I can offer.

The way he fucks is challenging your relationship values that Venus represents. It might be challenging in a good way though. Depending on the signs the planets are in (for the love of god please, ppl add planet signs. I’m getting so invested in your tea, I want to know the details 👀)

BUT with your Mars squaring his Venus- you are mean ass ‘girl’:.. the actions that you take are just off the charts for him. You could seriously shock him.

Imagine you being the nought one who is sending nudes while sitting at the table with his mom and he’s sweating and doesn’t know if he needs to run or to merry your peach as.

That’s an example tho, IT DEPENDS ON THE PLANET SIGNS (now I really need to know them.)

But you get where I’m taking this ?

Ok so your sun (his ego, core personality), and Jupiter (his happiness, joyfulness) are again, opposite his mars. There is a conflict of interests here- not a bad thing! Could be idk, you love to hit the gym on weekends and he prefers to make out in bed while the rain is pouring on your windows. He could be into gaming and loves to have mind games while doing it and you prefer to go and party. Plenty of opportunity to “upgrade” a lifestyle, see a new way of facing the world and just be around someone who’s different, yet exciting.

Basically his energy is different than the dynamic of what you love and makes you happy

Normally I’d say, just fuck the man, bc I suspect he on your mind since you are doing this ask. But his saturn is sextiling your Venus. I guess he’s not leaving you that fast heh.

This looks like a pair where you like different things, you argue a lot but you stick together.

It’s his Saturn making the aspect to your Venus so he will feel the need to be mature and serious about you bc of the way you show love / bc of what you love and find beautiful. That’s called the ultimate marriage aspect in the synastry but the whole chat has to be taken into consideration

Let’s not forget to mention the sun / Mars aspect are fire in bed! Same as Venus square Mars but this one makes you argue a lot and can make someone cry- especially with moon opposite moon - this makes you have different emotional approaches - can be worked with if you know how to communicate

[mangodestroyer]

You know, I did wonder for a while if trauma caused me to become avoidant. But then I realized something: I was quite literally never all that interested in socializing with people as a young child. I mean, the way I behaved as a toddler was just so fucking bizarre that it made people concerned. My parents tried to socialize me and all, but it was just so obvious I never enjoyed it. Idk why. I just literally did not care to participate in the world the same way other people do. I just wanted to fuck off and do my own thing.

It was so bad that I was given an autism test and deemed borderline autistic (literally, how was I not just considered autistic?) I was diagnosed with a communication disorder and given all these therapies. Yeah, eventually I got the memo that I have to do this whole "human" thing, but I HATED it. I wanted to do MY thing and I feel like being forced to assimilate caused me to lose myself big time.

Well, I think I'm finding myself again, and finding a way to adapt well enough where I can co-exist with the NTs enough where they aren't too put off by me, but also to where I don't feel like I'm oppressing myself in doing so. So that's a plus.

But seriously, why am I like this? It feels like it's a lot more than just extreme introversion, and I'm beginning to think it was never a trauma thing either. I was even like this as a BABY. Just very different. I literally can only develop extreme interests in certain things, and I just don't care to live life the same way other people do. I do want to have deep connections with people, but for the most part, I just can't seem to do it. There's just something about a lot of people's energy that isn't vibing with me. And I so easily feel overstimulated. In fact, my idea of an ideal relationship with someone just sounds so primitive and not what other people want. I either just want to talk to people about things that we find interesting, or with a romantic partner, just have someone to cuddle and all and I would still love them even if we didn't see each other every day. But I still want to sleep in my own bed sometimes because I can only share a bed for so long before it becomes too much. But I also want to spend holidays and such with them. And do things with them. While also having alone time to decompress.

Is this an autism thing? Idk, it seems kind of extreme, whatever it is. It's actually caused me lots of problems in the adult world. And I've tried talking to therapists about it, and all they tell me is that it's probably autism, and that the way I am is just very different, but not "bad." If anything, they tell me that they think it's the reason why I have such a high aptitude for math (and no, I didn't know until way later on that I was tested off the charts in my non-verbal intelligence as a child, while having such poor verbal skills, which ig is a sign of autism).

Still, that doesn't mean it was easy for me to get used to college, or work, or the dynamics in adult relationships. I struggled. A lot. And I suffered a lot too. I think for a while I was definitely showing signs of a severe mental illness. And I don't feel like I take care of myself the way a normal adult would. And I still don't know how to drive. I feel like I have a lot of executive functioning problems, to the point where it's unacceptable. And somehow people have faith in me, despite just finding me a little strange. I actually didn't think I'd manage to keep a job for very long, but I've worked at my current place for two and a half years and have even been acknowledged for the work I do. Um... I didn't think I was a good employee for the longest time tho?

Idk, I think I'm coming to accept that I just won't ever be "normal." I mean, I gave up on that a while ago. Idk if I can even fully explain this. It's just become very obvious to me that yeah, these are not normal human behaviors.

[jeanmoreaux]

A bit ironic that Taylor calls out people slut-shaming her and in the same breath releases a song pointing fingers at a teenager supposedly sleeping with any model that looks like her. Is she not embarrassed to write 21 songs about a PR relationship that lasted all of two months? Jumping off a roof for a boy she barely knew? She is so obviously doing this for money and not because she wants to reclaim her music and you're all so blind.

in the words of a great philosopher i know: men should be slut-shamed more, actually!!! ((i hope you all get this is a joke)) in all seriousness tho: idk if pointing out someone is hooking up with people is the same as slut-shaming someone. also pls consider the gender dynamics at work. there are nuances. also. lol ofc she's also doing this for the money like you don't put out four different versions of the same album and not be gunning for high sales (charts related) and lots of money. we can see that and still enjoy the music. no one is forcing anyone to buy albums. also i said my piece about the artistic aspect here so.

[absolutebl]

BAD BUDDY - Ep by Ep Snarkfest

Not sure if this will be a trash watch or not, but are you ready for this? 

But first... I thought it might be fun to see what my predictions were back in 2020 when GMMTV first announced this show. 

I should acknowledge that I publicly stated, many times, that I thought Nanon would NEVER do a BL. So this is me eating crow: 

DEETS! 

Origin: Book (Behind the Scenes) adaptation of a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, Romeo & Romeo, secret relationship, university sports setting y-novel 

MDL Listing | Trailer 

Wait I’ve seen them do BL before? Seriously? Fine. Nanon Korapat in My Dear Loser+ like everything GMMTV not BL. Ohm Pawat in He’s Coming to Me, Make it Right 1&2, Dew the Movie, The Shipper + like EVERYTHING BL.

Side dishes: Drake (My Tee, 2gether, 1000 Stars) and Marc (My Gear and Your Gown)

My 2020 Predictions: It’s from GMMTV with BL director Backaof attached (1000 Stars, He’s Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, Still 2gether), so it’s gonna happen. Both actors and director have a history of picking quality projects with decent scripts, and production values are likely high. Should be excellent but low heat. Ohm will have his shirt off a lot.

Shall we begin? 

Episode 1 - Oh well, fuck me, it’s actually great

They had me the moment Pran took his earbuds out and put them carefully into a case before going into battle. This show is fantastic. 

Officially, as of this moment October 29, 2021, I’m declaring there to be too many gay engineering students in BL for me to keep track of anymore. Bad Buddy has defeated me. It is the gear the broke the smock-covered back. 

Pat’s little sister is my spirit animal I LOVE HER. I’m sorry tho, I can’t call her Pa, so I’m changing the spelling to Pah henceforth. (It’s Thai to English, all spelling is merely a figment of your deranged imagination anyway.)  

The pace was great, this was a FAST moving opening episode. Ironically, that means I’m now concerned about pacing - a lot happened already, how are they going to daw this out into 12 eps unless it’s super slow burn? Then again, this is based on a Y-novel, so should be better than normal Thai BL (although the horrible looming shadow of My Gear and Your Gown is RIGHT THERE) so trust is thin on the ground.

All that said, we are off to a GREAT start and so far I’m loving this show. (I would have bet good money Ohm would be topless first, tho.) Also, yes we all GOT the Romeo & Juliet bits GMMTV, thank you for clipping us upside the head with those. Is Drake actually playing Tybalt? In which case, who’s Mercutio? (Randomly: does the kid playing Wai look like Heeseung from Enhypen to anyone else, or is it just me?) 

How cute was that bit where they subverted the wound tending trope though? Pran was like “You must be joking.” I got quite a chuckle out of it. 

Little to no seme uke with these boys, which is good, suits the actors’ dynamic. 

Looks like GMMTV is gonna both start (1k*) and end 2021 on a high note. Fingers crossed. Honestly it just so nice to have them back in the game. 

Episode 2 - Damnit, It Continues to be Good

The first quarter of this ep, with them trying to keep their friendship groups apart is so flipping funny. And then I remembered, the best of 2gether was when it did stuff like this. (That drunk scene with Fong flipping his shoe, Gunsmile in the dolly, and Tine driving air still makes me laugh). GMMTV’s stable excels at this stuff, it’s how School Rangers kept going all these years. And Ohm and Nanon are two of the best. It makes me feel like I am in safe hands when they do a montage run like this. 

Also, seriously, the amount for flirting these two do over text is off the chart. And should we talk about the epic eye fucking? Eh, probably not, it speaks for itself. Or doesn’t speak per say... just eye fucks. 

Epic Eye Fucking is the name of my punk band.

Amused to see the combined the mistaken identity game with the rooftop trope. Oh and post-it love note, haven’t seen that trope in a long while. 

I hate hate hate the scene with Heeseung - sorry, Wai - at work at the bar. Which means i really hate Pat’s friends now too. In fact I hate all their friends, this is a blanket statement - GMMTV rectify thyself. I want to love friendship groups in BL, not hate them. V annoying. I hope they all get booted from school for egregious shed collapsing. 

FOLK my love! I have missed you. 

NO SINGING. Thailand, we have talked about this at length! 

So they were separated eternally for being in a band together? 

I get it. They were singing in a BL. I’d have done it too. 

Meanwhile tickle is apparently a good word in every language. Although in Thai strawberry will forever be my favorite. 

BL = closing elevators on the good stuff since Cherry Magic. 

Episode 3 - Is this the one true scion of SOTUS?

I’m getting a serious “inheritor of our SOTUS forefathers” feel from this show (NOT a bad thing) but I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not the narrative, maybe it’s more an aura of confidence that’s the result of a combo of capable acting & solid production? Maybe you lot can help me figure this out? 

How smooth was the guitar pick student ID flirting action? Also a never before seen love offering. Adorbs. And then Pat paying for both their noodle bowls later. 

Boy is GOOD. 

Also, word’s second most handsome pick. First one? Here: 

I love Pat & Pran’s dynamic, it’s this perfect combative competitive flirtation. Reminds me a bit of PeteKao at the beginning of Kiss, although with less of an edge to it. 

Also reminds me of grade school. Honestly, when is Pat just gonna pull on Pran’s pigtails and dip them in ink? Break a slate over his head?* 

* (10 points to anyone who gets that reference.) 

This is a damn good script. 

It lets Pat, in particular, push right up to the edge of confession and then backtrack or turn it into a joke constantly (maybe intentionally, may unconsciously). This has the effect of jerking Pran around, but not maliciously. It means, i think, if they ever are going to actually get anywhere as a couple it’s gonna have to be Pran who really makes the first move, since he’s the only one who has the overt capacity for sincerity. 

It’s very clever. Makes me wonder if the original y-novel was this well done or if this is part of Ohm and Nanon’s dynamic coloring their characters. 

Question for y’all. 

Is “fighting with chopsticks” the new euphemism for “dueling with swords”? 

Asking for a friend. 

Oh and here’s a reminder, because I keep needing it with Pran’s friends. 

Apparently Episode 3 feels compelled to do a major TROPE DUMP. 

The appearance of the meet me in the library trope made me especially happy. Romance in libraries is a favorite setting. Also them pressed together in the elevator thing is fun, doesn’t pop up often in BL these days (Cherry Magic excepted). Plus some more predictable BL tropes: 

side eye, 

look of love, 

stare from a close distance, 

black & white striped shirt, 

lie on ground, 

central aperture framing, 

head pat, 

and so forth. 

On a serious note, the way Pat & Pran’s friends are driving them right back into the corners that their families did as children is really fucking sad. But it sure makes for excellent external tension. 

Looking forward to another week of all I care about is Friday, and not for the normal reasons. 

Episode 4 - annoying friends remain annoying

Look they’re starting to really bother me in an imma fast forward kinda way, they’re no longer adding to the story. Although it is fun to see them tricked into working. But I like to see anyone tricked into working. Leave me alone with a child and I’ll have them conducting regression analysis in about half an hour. (That is NOT a euphemism.) 

Pat wandering into Pran’s room and then just grabbing a book and setting up residence made me think that these two are also a puppy/cat pairing. 

I like the not-a-faen-fatale but more a friend from their past who knows who they are to each other. Cute twist on a tired archetype. Also I am fining myself basically delighted whenever Pat’s sister shows up. Why are sister characters such fun in BL? 

Yes but also... tiny impossible but very cute girl ship has set sail! 

Okay but how many times is Pat gonna call Pran cute or his boyfriend in this one episode? I mean boy actually couldn’t flirt any harder. And then to pretend he likes a girl. Tut to the tut tut. 

Pacing on this one continues to be excellent I’m still excited for where the next one is going. So far, this show is a win. 

Meanwhile someone asked me to go into why Nanon’s acting is so amazing, so I donned my professional-esk hat and had a stab at it here. 

I’d like to see them start redeeming the friendship groups at this point. Pat’s should try helping him win the girl and Pran’s shoudl recognize his misery and try to cheer him up. They can remain at odds with each other, but we (the audience) really need to like them more now. 

See you next week! Same Pat time, same Pat place. 

Episode 5 - they boyfriends

These two are basically boyfriends already. I can’t take the morning routine cuteness: pet names, ordering each other around the kitchen, stealing food. 

Thus the terrible date with The Girl (TM) was appropriately terrible and meanwhile... 

So Pat finally figures out his feels, isn’t jelly of a girl (is jelly of a boy). I kinda like that the jelly is being used to determine identity rather than just as a dumb plot device. 

This is a clever little romance. 

Thank goodness we only had to listen to one song tho. 

Meanwhile Pat is like, oh shit did we actually fall in love in high school and I never realized it? I love this kind of trope. Himbo alert! Big dumb bi boy utterly out of touch with his feelings is just too delicious. Also Ohm got to be subtle for a change, showing this whole remembering of old heartbreak just with nuances of facial expressions at the music concert. 

Question: At the Wai Pat confrontation scene, how did Pat end up on the ground? Did he just decide to fall down in the middle of a fight? I’m confused. 

Finally... GREAT FUCKING KISS.

Look I was gonna give kiss of the year to SamYu (and I still will because, frankly, Taiwan is just better about this stuff) but this one was REALLY good. Much more than I expected of GMMTV, although not from Ohm. 

We all knew he could kiss like a dream from Make it Right, and he was fricking 16 in that series. Apparently some things DO improve with age. 

Anygay, VERY nice boys. Thank you. 

And then Pat’s face. That tiny lost smile: absolute joy and then crushing disappointment in knowing reality won’t let them be together - almost in the same breath. Beautifully done. 

(A DM ask about this kiss has made me natter more so here it is...)

THAT KISS 

I don't analyze the experience of BL as a watcher all that much (more just type out my snarky reactions) but I was asked, so here’s more about Ohm and the kiss. 

I think that smile was a bit of everything: euphoria at having his feelings returned but also the hopelessness of their situation and also a brave front and also first love nerves. It was very complex. Ohm knocked it out of the park this ep but I've seen Dew so I had absolutely no doubt he could do it. 

I love that the director and story had Nanon carry the weight of the emotional burden for most of the first half of the show and now suddenly Ohm has picked it up. It's very cleverly done and could only happen with two extremely good actors.

I do think we are in for a very bumpy ride going forward as a result though. Both of their reactions to the kiss are foreshadows. 

How will they cope with the pressure of friends and family and secrecy if/when they are in a relationship?

Will they smile or wince or both, like Pat? 

Will the joy of first love be enough to keep them on the metaphorical rooftop together? 

Or will one of them run, as Pran did?  

If production is smart with the talent (and clearly they ARE), we'll get flip flopping of who carries the emotional burden of the narrative for the next 5 eps or so until The Dreaded Episode 11 (TM). 

Pacing is different in this BL though (this kiss came early) so DOOM might descend at ep 9/10 or even sooner. It’s hard to predict, this one. Yet another reason just to sit back and enjoy the ride. 

EXTRAS 

Pat & Pran’s language with each other: pronouns, honorifics, and endearment/insult teasing. 

More about the kiss and the dialogue on the rooftop and queer identity. 

Moving on from The Kiss That Broke The Internet. 

Episode 6 - Show Me the Seme 

I was thinking Bad Buddy was pretty much was not going to have a seme/uke dynamic (Thailand’s skipped it before), but in this episode we got us a classic seme active pursuit vrs tsundere uke resistance - so I guess for now, we back to normalcy.

Director Aof pretty much dropped in half the tropes of the Thai BL arsenal into this one episode, so my heart is full, but I think that was mostly to keep the pacing on point since this ep didn’t advance the story much: 

touch my lips and think of kissing, 

beach frolic, 

close stare, 

crash into me, 

drag baby around, 

boys contemplating water. 

The parents are whack immure arses but hay, Love Sick started that nonsense - it’s a grand Thai tradition. 

I kinda love Pat showing up on the bus. I literally said, “You little shit” while I was watching. Also, how much do I love Ohm’s “I’m a self satisfied little shit” face? SO MUCH. 

The dealing with sulky boyfriend at the marketplace was adorable, because of course Pran likes the bits of Pat that are most unlike himself, like the sunshine teasing. And Pat is just learning how to activate that to get his boy into a better mood. 

We ended with the best confession that isn’t a confession meets flirting but make it ridiculous scene in BL. It was great. Pran basically said, 

“Boy, you wanna piece of this, you gotta court me proper.” 

It was adorbs. Also, his smile when Pat calls him his boyfriend in the stinger = fantastic! 

Finger licking good, one might even say. 

I am anticipating these two giving us one of the best and most dramatic public claiming sequences ever. 

Don’t disappoint me, Bad Buddy.

Next week.... secret boyfriends trope launches at last. 

Episode 7 - Oh They Trope-Verse Seme-Switches! 

Okay I figured it out with this episode, Pat & Pran are classic example of no seme/uke, they’re also classic trope switches. I’m glad that’s settled in my brain now. 

I’ll talk about how I came to this conclusion in a moment, but FIRST... we need to talk about these two: 

I’m not sure GMMTV has the guts to give us a full on GL sub plot, but they are absolutely setting one up. But then they throw Wai with a crush on Pah into the mix, so ??? 

This will get v messy for Pran & Pat no matter which direction Pah goes with her choices. Which is very clever of the writers. I love it. I am ALWAYS in favor of clever writers. And you know I like messy. So I’m looking forward to wherever this sub-plot goes, GL payout or no. (Although I recognize there are gonna be some seriously disappointed tumblr rants if there is no actual GL.) 

Pran unleashing his pent-up flirt is a thing of beauty. Also the not-dating dating musical montage was adorable. 

Okay, so, secret boyfriends gave us all the tropes in this one, interestingly if you assume Pat is the seme from the last ep, these all largely subverted that dynamic. 

your relationship with that water bottle (standard seme execution, but I think they just wanted Ohm’s shirt off) 

wound tending (subverted) 

caged wall lean (subverted) 

the library assignation

sponge bath (turned into product placement, very clever GMMTV) 

baby is a messy eater (subverted) 

(Here’s the post where I talk about how certain tropes in BL basically “belong” to either the seme or the uke and that we should pay very close attention when the dynamic is flipped because the narrative is very much trying to tell us something about the motivation and complexities of the characters. A pair that does this while maintaining seme/uke but using it to show us how very soft that dynamic can be are SolorGui in Oxygen.) 

And then Bad Buddy used the cheek kiss, boyfriend peck kisses, and makeup removal trope to show Pat & Pran both pretty much doing this to each other at the same time. That’s basically screaming out that these two are narratively verse. 

So yeah, I’m calling it for no seme/uke in this BL. In fact this episode could be a master class in how to use BL trope expectations to counteract seme/uke standards. It was basically Thai BL undermining Japanese live action yaoi. It’s kind of like: 

Look at how far we have come! These boys will use your tropes for a verse agenda, thank you very much! 

Which I of course flipping loved. (You see what I did there - FLIPping?)

You know what else I loved best in the world? This line: 

You know why? 

Because it reminded me so entirely of Seryo in Seven Days: 

You know I love anything that reminds me of Seven Days. 

Yet again Bad Buddy kept the tension up with no slump in engagement despite this being (on paper) a pretty basic filler episode 7, thin on narrative. I must applaud them. I’m looking forward to more secret boyfriends next week. But I do think someone is gonna find them out. The question is... who? 

In other news: the mom character, instead of gay for you, she’s homophobic for you. Thank you thank you. Trope abuse is my forte. 

Episode 8 - Shirtless Secrets 

Finally the episode where Ohm spends most of it shirtless. The gay gods applaud you, GMMTV. 

So right, the breakfast in bed was so adorable. These two are the biggest flirty teases ever, Pat & Pran are both such good secret lovers. 

The fucking holding hands thing is going to wreck tumblr for days. Are you happy? I hope you’re happy. GMMTV what have you done to us. 

Odds on a shot of Pat miserable and cuddling this T-shirt after the inevitable break up? Come on, you know they wanna do that to us. 

I love the character trait of Pat being obsessed with the way Pran smells, speaking as someone whose partners have historically been dictated almost entirely by smell. 

Meanwhile the lesbians got the wound tending and the shrimp peeling trope - a rare but very important one, IMHO. (Thank you AePete. Incidentally the Thai polite style of peeling shrimp, with a fork and spoon, actually works REALLY well. I taught myself how to do it and am now a bit of a fan.) 

I actually don’t have a trope board for this one since it’s pretty rare. 

And we ended on tension. 

Did I say already that this show is written like, and reminds me a bit of, fan fiction? The way it’s paced, very nice. 

Episode 9 - Wooing a Friendship Group (or 2)

I thought this episode would have a lot more doom, I was pleasantly surprised by how soft it was. A ton of cute tropes were casually dropped: hair dry, face cradle, significant hand hold, the lying loom, boys in black & white stripes. Still, Pran’s friends, especially Wai = the biggest arses. I wasn’t sure they could redeem Wai’s character (and I’m still not sure they did although they gave it their best shot). 

Look, I’m only gonna say this once. 

If you make it hard for someone to come out, you don’t get to blame them for hiding themselves. 

Doesn’t matter what form that coming out takes (secret relationship or queerness). There are countless ways to demonstrate trust-worthiness and allyship, especially around your friends. The onus is on us to be the safe person, not them. 

Nanon playing crestfallen is ADORABLE though. 

Did you hear Korn use “nong” in this scene to mock flirt? It’s very very funny if you understand the implications of the term “nong” under the context of Korn & Pat’s friendship (equals and age mates) and Pat pretending to be jealous of Wai in order to cope with how much Wai is hurting his boyfriend. Korn is doing it to cheer him up. It was sweet and hillarious. 

Who knew Korn would turn into the biggest PatPran shipper? 

Meanwhile Pat chucked his crown into the ring for Bi King (gonna take a lot to dethrone Neo, Leon & Na, though.) 

Pat = Pransexual 

(Shut up, I am beyond chuffed with myself.) 

This is, in part, GMMTV making an obvious effort to correct for some of the great sins of SOTUS in particular and the BL genre in general (gay for you, wifey terminology, punching down humor, and poor GL rep). Marvelous that they are using their flagship show and its massive platform to do so. We of the Queer Normalization Brigade salute you. (Our uniforms are FABULOUS.) 

The GL ship got pushed a little out of port. 

Do I think there might still be some issues with the GL supply chain? Why yes, yes I do, but it’s still very nice to see an attempt made at delivery. (See what I did there?) 

Anygay, we got the friendship groups to come around and now... the parents! How much you wanna bet this drive the break up? Also I really hope the boys uncover a really good reason for the breach between the families, it’d be a lot better if they gave us a solid external stressor. 

I got faith though. 

Episode 10 - Wai’s Lesbian Redemption

Honestly this ep started with the public claiming sequence to end all public claiming sequences. This may win this trope category for all time. 

I really appreciate the continued efforts to keep this drama light - much lighter, in fact, then it has any right to be. I think I have laughed out loud in pretty much every single episode. 

Similarly I appreciate the ridiculous care and thought they are putting into crafty product placement. It’s almost like they are making fun of the way this was handled in 2gether. I wonder if it will spawn more of this kind of mockery in other Thai BLs going forward? 

There is a literary technique called light housing, which is when writers take a flaw or inconsistency in a text/narrative/plot, and instead of trying to burry it, they highlight it and call attention to it, sometimes with 4th wall breaking, sometimes by ostentatiously turning it into a plot device or pivot point. The way Bad Buddy treats product placement feels like that. There’s this attitude of “well if we must include it, instead of trying to hide it let’s make it a party. It becomes less clumsy and shoehorned in (like in Kdramas or other Thai BL) and more an extra playful perk, like a cheerful garish bauble. 

It suits the Thai style to approach product placement this way. 

Could we talk about the Wai giving up on Pah sequence? 

Good, ‘cause we’re gonna. 

Far be it for me to turn the lesbian arc into a chat about the straight dude in the mix, but that’s what is about to happen. (Probubly my most anti Bechtel moment, ever.) 

First of all, Pat’s attitude is aces, let’s just put that out there. For an older brother to say about his younger sister (in Thai culture), “I’m gonna let her make her own romantic decisions” Is fantastic. And maybe wouldn’t have happened if Pat hadn’t been through his own conflict over romance and identity.  

But we gotta talk about Wai. 

This was actually one of the best redemption arcs possible for Wai’s character and one of the most queer moments we’ve gotten in what has been, so far, one of the queerest Thai BLs I’ve ever seen. 

There is along and very storied history of straight dudes (patriarchies, whole cultures) not believing in lesbian relationships because “real love” and “real sex” must involve a penis. Gay sex and relationships have historically been treated as taboo, disgusting, or sickening - but valid. Lesbian relationships and sex on the other hand, have mostly been treated as laughably impossible or inconceivable. 

In the past, this lead to things like Boston marriages, where women spent lifetimes together as partners and were tacitly permitted to do so simply because "romantic love and sexual interest between two women is simply not possible.”  

(When I harp on about queer being a feminist issue, this is one of those aspects.)

So the way Wai just instantly notices and believes that Pah has a crush on Ink and that this crush is not only valid but OUTRANKS his own is INSANE. Like never before seen on screen. 

He accepts that it is Pah’s right to like whomever she wants, and if the one she likes is a woman, that’s not important because it’s just as valid of a choice. 

I can’t tell you how important this kind of scene is in film. And how much it redeems his character. 

This is a HUGE queer statement being made by this narrative. It’s unprecedented. And it’s specifically one of lesbian support. 

Also it goes up against BL notions of the prioritization of a crush over mutual affection. Wai backing down is a way of saying not only is queer love as valid as het love, but that a crush is less important than the return of feelings. 

Meanwhile, Ink’s stink eye is the best.

Ink asking for permission is even better. Gotta love consent. Not to mention cheek & forehead kisses. 

Also the return of dark room romance! 

Anyone else getting PickRome vibes? 

Back to the main story:

Of course it all turns out to be the sins of the father. What did we expect? 

Although, honestly, it’s a bit rich (pun intended) for someone in such a fancy-pants outfit to be complaining about having her life ruined. Things seemed to have, frankly and fashionably speaking, turned out okay for Pran’s maa. 

Next week is ep 11, but who the f knows with this show? It seems to be specializing in non-standard BL behavior patterns. 

Episode 11 - Doom Light

A sort of achey wistful episode 11, because we know, right along with the characters, that Pat & Pran’s attempt to escape the family strife is, in fact, doomed. 

This whole honeymoon sequence (including the shoehorned allegory about Junior not wanting to go back with his mom + Uncle wasting his life on ideology) is just another one of those coming of age moments. Running away and still staying part of the world isn’t really possible, even if you don’t like the world or can’t fit into it (the world doesn’t like you). 

For me the saddest part was at the end when Pat & Pran stand in front of their respective homes crying, because the idea of going home should feel good, and safe, when for both of them it’s the opposite. That is such a queer experience - it was like a gut punch. 

And suddenly this show is reminding me of I Told Sunset About You. 

I’m now going to speculate on the time jump final ep. 

If they really are going to go there, that is a VERY Kdrama tactic. Under the auspices of the tropes of those dramas (and not BL) the following can happen:

the ending is left up in the air but slightly implies that they get back together (see Something in the Rain) 

they get back together in the last 10 min of the last ep, in what feels like a super rushed job (see most het romance Kdramas) 

we return to the Japanese roots (of both BL & Kdramas) and Bad Buddy doesn’t end with an HEA, but instead with them still apart and a sentimental romanization of lost love

In this last tactic, the romantic glory is vested in the unchanging nature of the memory of having once experienced the true passion of youth. The two characters often reminisce about their past over drinks together. I have been known, at my most acerbic to call this “Arthouse Smackdoodle.” 

Now, I am open to being surprised.

In fact, please surprise me. 

Because I don’t like any of these 3 options. In my personal opinion, Kdramas are unquestionably weak around endings. 

On the other hand, with the increasing quality of the BL and companion talent, production values, and performances we must acknowledge the silly frivolous fluff is going to lose against the compulsion to be taken seriously. Especially in a narrative like this one, that doesn’t have a compelling story, just compelling acting and directing. 

So I’m not sure if I should be legitimately scared by the Episode 12 teaser. Or if I’m being expertly manipulated to be scared. Or if I am betraying trust in Bad Buddy by being scared, even though it clearly wants me to be. 

ARGH. 

Honestly, this whole series journey has been a bit much for me. I’m happy Bad Buddy is ending next week not because I didn’t like it, but because I like it too much. 

I need less stress and more poor quality Thai pulp bullshit BL in my life. 

I know, I know. Be careful what you wish for. Paint With Love is still airing. 

Episode 12 - Glory Be, They Stuck the Landing! 

In which Tumblr collectively decides if BB can’t stick the landing, we riot. We did not get off to an optimistic start. I hate hate HATE the Kdrama time jump in the final episodes trope. If you’re gonna do a reunion romance you should do it from the start. I don’t like it when he has to go away and find himself by writing a novel, or solving a mathematical proof, or any of that rot. 

It’s the equivalent of saying to the audience that the characters found something more important then their love for each other, yet we just watched a whole fuck-off drama about how important their love for each other was. You can’t do us dirty like that. 

Oh look! I’m FINALLY ranting about this show and I am less than 2 minutes into the final episode. Only it’s not really this show at all. Squirrel! 

Fortunately, as they have been doing all along, Bad Buddy subverted this trope too. 

Take THAT Kdramas! 

Pran apparently landed in Singapore. (Don’t make them speak English, please.) 

Singapore is one of my favorite places on earth. That view out Pran’s window is of the Marina Bay Sands hotel, I've stayed there! Here's what the Singapore Strait looks like from the roof at sunrise (it’s my phone backdrop).

This has been your moment of glob trotter reverence. 

I return you to your regularly scheduled waffling.

I actually liked the bit of Pat getting together with old friends. It reminded me of exactly that kind of thing in my own post-uni days, and the three on screen together are good. Made me wish I'd gotten more of that friendship dynamic all along. Jimmy really is a great addition to the GMMTV stable. I'm looking forward to his BL this year. (Did you know he's a doctor as well? Apparently.)

The reunion

Did I tear up at the longing glances across the room? Of course I did. I am, after all, a sap. Plus both actors are so good at emoting. However, the high school reminiscing at the reunion was too drawn out for me.

That said, I was happy to have been tricked for the first half of the episode. 

They did long distance and stayed secret lovers the whole time. Nicely twisted but a bit too much audience manipulation. It’s going to fail on rewatch potential. Better than the other options, tho.

And then... the hanging photos trope. Been a while, a rarely used one but fun to see. Reminded me of Dark Blue Kiss and PeteKao’s secret anniversary - a sweet call back from GMMTV to one of their other “keeping it in the closet” romances. (Great, now I want do a DMK rewatch.) 

T-shirt memory sniff... called that one.

Also that’s a v cute subversion of the punishment trope, Pran.

The horsing around and wrestling ending was pitch perfect for this couple and this drama but also pleasingly unusual for a romance story. 

Bad Buddy really tread the line between BL and queer romance and I kinda adore them for that. 

This is a special little drama, and how lucky to get to start the year this way. 

The bar has been raised, Thailand. 

In the end, I loved Bad Buddy. 

The family struggles and friendship group made it a little bit difficult for me to take at times so I am not certain how much I’ll end up rewatching this one. We shall see. 

However, the acting was really excellent and the ending was unexpectedly satisfying if not typical romancey. For now, I am giving Bad Buddy a solid 9/10  - 9.5/10 if I did that because of all the queer affirmation and effort put in to specifically subvert damaging Thai BL tropes. 

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

(source) 

[pyroclastic727]

Watched Raya, my thoughts

Raya and Namaari would have kissed after being unfrozen if they were straight. I’m not even joking. So I’m going to say that they did.

Raya and Sisu have the best dynamic. Like seriously. Raya mocks Sisu’s disasterness, Sisu mocks Raya’s stoicness, but they both appreciate each other, since it completes their duo

The heart symbolism?? How Raya is the Worst Chosen One for the Heart section since she’s repressed af, but then with the help of others she learns to believe in people?

“We need to come together.” *pans to Namaari*

It was like?? Actually funny?? Like I am NOT someone to laugh at physical humor but?? They pulled it off?? They had a really good mix of the different types of humor tbh

5th grade me wanted rain to NOT be symbolic of sad things. Current me is enjoying that.

THE ANIMATION. I could go on for HOURS. To sum it up: water, microexpressions, clouds, gay

Look I actually thought this movie was gonna be bad with how it started, but the instant they introduced Sisu, it was like bringing Catra into the Best Friend Squad. Completed it. 

The way that the guy from the spine was the sturdy, familial one. The guy from the Tail was the one pushing them along. The child from the Talon was the muscle. The girl from the Fang was the one whose words pulled the Heart out of her repression.

RAYA’S SWORD is so fricking COOL like I WANT that

Who needs money and happiness when you have the fight scenes from Raya? Like seriously the composition is just off the charts.

She had a sword. She had a sword. Can I make it any more obvious?

Legit tho, both of them actually stared into the sword to find clarity. Like are they Catra or Amity or something?

I don’t consider this queerbait because it was too explicit. I genuinely think they just weren’t ready to kiss yet, and handholding was canon confirmation.

This is actually one of my favorite Disney movies. Like, Frozen II is my all-time favorite and it is comparable to Frozen in terms of animation, storyline, and humor. 

[henlex]

Onlyoneof astrology

Wooksung

☆check the bottom for summary☆

Sun

Jisung is Cap: Earth. Very grounded. Goal oriented. They get things done, hard workers. They love to be useful and have purpose. Tend to keep their emotions under wraps because they want to be level headed. Very steady, reliable, responsible. Honestly a great leader. Can be a bit standoffish all the members saying he was intimidating when they first met. They can be very funny. They dont really like change, they tend to stick for what they know. Good at giving practical advice.

Wookjin is Sag:🔥 So different 😂. Restless, fun, energetic, friendly. They love freedom, and hate routine. Very easygoing, love to make friends with anyone, fun loving. They love to laugh and tease😂. Infectious optimism, very idealistic, and loves to learn. Easygoing, but can have a quick temper, tho they forgive very quickly. Can be a little flighty because of their need for freedom.

Moon

Jisung is Pisces: so cute. This is strong mom energy (yoojung has the same) Very soft, sweet, compassionate, empathetic, caring. What a softy. Good an seeing beyond people's barriers.

Wookjin is Aquarius: extremely observant (I remember on love unlock that expert said Nine was very good at noticing things, and took) everything in. Omg they can feel detached or shy especially as a kid. They tend to feel like a bit of an outsider. They have strong walls up. They love being unique and unusual but they end up feeling like an outsider. They love being independent, and also love to shock people💆‍♀️💆‍♀️. Given to temper tantrums in their youth but tend to hide them later in life. They can become detached from their emotions but are good at understanding others. (Idk if this is him because he cried while making libido sooo) they can be very unpredictable but charming.

Mercury

Jisung Aquarius: unconventional self expression, they like to break the rules 💆‍♀️these two I swear to God. Very observant, they love debate. Aquarius are detached and intellectual in nature. Don't like scheduled....I'm pretty that's cancelled out by the cap tho😂 They can be seen as strange but always have something interesting to say. Good sense of humor.....and like to shock people💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

Wookjin Sag: optimistic, like freedom of thought, have big ideas. Insatiable thirst for knowledge. Dont like focusing on details. Organization is not their friend (it's ok jisung can take care of that) Very enthusiastic and love a good conversation. They can be very blunt and dont understand being indirect. They Hate mind games. They love to laugh, and do it pretty easily 💕

Venus

Jisung Cap: try to win your heart by displaying self-control, presence of mind, and responsible behavior. They want to be seen as witty, knowledgeable and controlled. They want some predictability in love because they are cautious. They have a loner aura, which some can find attractive. They're big romantics and can be shy about love but dont want anyone to know. They are very practical and plan ahead. They want to show off their partner in a quiet way. They take a while to warm up to others. Fear of rejection☹. They are practical and loyal to those they love. They are frugal but like high quality items.

Nine Scorpio☠: RIP everyone. First off this is why he has that stage presence and is......bold. Anyway they're very intense, their emotions run deep. Deep commitment, they're incredibly loyal, when they're in, they're in forever. Fearless when it comes to intimacy 👀. They become possessive and can get jealous. They become entirely focused/infatuated in their partner. They are not about casual flings. "These people take things to extremes, and can be very provocative." 💆‍♀️ Angry nine would be very scary. They like to know EVERYTHING about their partner but keep their own things hidden, they're secretive in nature. To win them over they need to see that you're committed completely. Their relationships tend to consume them and they love it.

Mars

Jisung cap: cool and level headed. Strong self control. Can be hard on themselves. Hard worker. They like discretion. They are attracted to someone experienced😉

Wookjin Aqua: unpredictable, they dont want to be seen as normal. Love of intellectual pursuits. They are adept at getting their way. You wont even know if they're in control. They let other people be themselves and gives them space. Generally not touchy...LOL.

"They give off an air of being savvy and cool. Sex from a distance (when you are not actually there physically), or in theory, is often where they shineThey are most intrigued when you are not, as detachment can be a real turn-on for them. And, again, the idea of sex is generally more exciting to these lovers than the actual act. Their fantasies often involve getting caught, and they are attracted to people who are a little offbeat or odd." This makes a lot of sense

☆Summary☆

Sun: so they are very different but I think it's so cute. Nine's playful nature can help love take life less seriously. And love can keep nines feet the ground and take care of the day to days of life.

Moon: deep down wookjin is very protective and feels misunderstood but jisungs cancer moon could be the perfect match for him to actually open up and be understood. If they open up they could become incredibly close. Loves nonjudgemental and compassionate demeanor could help nine to not feel unknown for once.😭💕 Love can also help him not deny his emotions.

Mercury: yk I never thought they'd be the ones to have intellectual debates but they definitely do. But like it could be about anything, even something dumb but it would bg e a Debate and they'd both love it. Idk why that's so cute. Wookjin likes being direct and honestly jisungs cap would love that about him. Also I get why they're always laughing together 😭💕

Venus: Haha soulmate culture. Ok but love needs commitment and so does nine. They both want and need that deep understanding. They could both let their guards down because neither of them wants to go anyway. Nine would highkey like the challenge of love being hesitant and the loner vibes.

Mars: eye. Yk it might work really well cuz caps are lowkey detached and nine highkey would thrive on that. I need to lay down

So Haha I love them. This dynamic is insane. The sexual tension is off the charts and I see why now. This is a lot but think they mesh really well.

Okay byyyyye

💖I'll take any requests 💖

Junrie are next

[neowinestainedress]

↬  title: the devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me  ↬  pairing: lee taeyong / kim doyoung  ↬  summary: when Taeyong's world falls apart right before his eyes, he realizes that staying with him means that clouds will always hang around them. And he wonders if what he has to offer will be enough to make Doyoung stay, even if he will never be able to give him peace. ↬  genre: idol!taeyong (but not nct!taeyong, soloist!taeyong), song inspired - peace by taylor swift, angst (not really, doesn’t concern the couple, tho), hurt/comfort, still romantic/fluff, happy ending  ↬  warnings: since is peace inspired there are references to a situation similar to the one taylor had to go through in 2016 and the aftermath of it, so taeyong is in a bad state of mind (mention of suicidal thoughts), homophobia (one explicit comment, but there are references to it during the whole story), implied sexual content at the end (nothing explicit) ↬  words count: 6.8k ↬  playlist ↬  ao3 link

Taeyong knew it, he knew everything since he was young and naive, too busy dreaming of filled stadiums and tears marked faces screaming his name. Taeyong always knew how fucked up the music industry was, how unfair, how fake and cynical it was. But Taeyong had always been a dreamer, a believer, and after all, he still was, even now. A grin made its way on his beautiful face, as he wiped a lonely tear on his rosy cheek away. Yes, he still believed in a miracle, he really hoped that the art he had been gifting to the world for all these years was enough for people to not stop supporting him. He really wished that all of his countless sleepless nights awake writing songs on his kitchen counter while his other half was sleeping in their bedroom were worth something. He wanted to think that the immense love he had been giving to his fans travelling around the world to perform with just four hours of sleep was appreciated. But deep down he knew that now everything was gone. His world crumbled apart into million pieces, and his love, his passion, his dedication, his art, weren’t enough to save it. He sighed, letting his head fall on the back of the chair in his home studio, he wanted to cry, scream maybe, destroy everything that was in that room, but he decided that it simply wasn’t worth it. Or simply that small sparkle of hope that was still burning inside of him stopped him from doing so. Except he knew what was about to come. “Tomorrow at 8, be careful nobody sees you entering the company, they’re not happy. We have to talk about the contract.” The manager's words were direct, strict and cold even through a text message. Lee Taeyong, the record-breaking artist from South Korea, with his incredible all-round personality full of charms and talents, was over, and there was nothing he could do to change that. When people fall out of love with you, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. They simply don’t love you anymore. 

✯✯✯

It wasn’t the first time Taeyong had to go through something like that. He had always been extremely controversial during his seven years career, whether it was for something he had seriously done or some crazy fake rumour spread around. People are fast at judging others without looking at the mirror even once, and he had experienced that on his skin more than once. He had to say sorry for things he had never done. He had to stay silent in front of the tremendous words people would throw at him, his agents never taking his side, even when they knew the truth, and some of his fans turning around on their backs. 

Was he still famous? Did he still break records? Skyrocketed on the charts at every comeback? Yes, definitely. Probably somebody could say that after all these years he still had the world in the palm of his hands, but, honestly, he felt like he had nobody he could count on. All the people who used him just for clout, just to talk shit about him once they arrived where they wanted. All of the people who liked to call themselves tyongfs but never stayed when he needed them the most. His real friends all left the country, for different reasons, and the ones in the industry he felt to call like that, could be counted on one single hand. So when he met Doyoung and the other wasn’t totally disgusted by him or tried to work his way to the top, Taeyong was seriously surprised. A bittersweet forced laugh escaped from his lips as he put his coat on, and tried to take deep breaths in the mirror, trying to prepare himself to see the end of his career. He had been through so much shit since he was barely eighteen, but nothing ever hurt him more than seeing his dream disappear from his hands simply because he loved somebody, the only one who ever stood by his side. Nothing could ever come close to the pain that he was feeling at the moment, thinking that he had to choose between the people he loved the most, Doyoung and tyongfs. A choice that he never wanted to make, because his love and his heart were enough for them both. A choice that he wasn’t making, because apparently his fans, Korean netizens, and his agency decided that it wasn’t right, that something was twisted in him, and they simply couldn’t support somebody like him anymore. Taeyong had stopped being the perfect straight boy next door, and somebody decided for him that it was time to take him and throw him in the trash. And Taeyong had come close to that many times, but never like this, never he had seen such harsh words addressed at him, never he had felt so much hate and disgust. He knew that now, they were deleting him, acting as if he never existed. 

✯✯✯

Doyoung had no idea what to do. It had been a week now since their kissing photo got spread around, one week since the internet exploded, seven days since he had to thank God he worked in his own place or else he would’ve been fired too. It had been five days since Taeyong’s company kicked him out, giving him no chance to fight for his art and his job, it had been five days since Taeyong got home and wandered around like a ghost, his favourite blanket over his head, his feet lazily dragging themselves on the cold floor, and drinking cups over cups of coffee in front of their big window which faced the whole city. 

“Sitting there all day won’t change things.” The younger said, slowly making his way behind his boyfriend. He had kept quiet the whole week, not wanting to make him feel worse, and also because he didn’t want to let out his real emotions. Doyoung felt incredibly guilty. As soon as the news came out he already knew the ending, and all he could think was that maybe if they had been more careful, or simply if they had never met, if they had never fallen in love and started dating, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. And he felt that it was his fault because he was the one who couldn’t let Taeyong go, the one who had to persist and convince him that he deserved love, and he would’ve stayed with him till the end, no matter his reputation or the things Taeyong couldn’t give him. 

Doyoung sighed when his boyfriend didn’t answer, he sat next to him on the large windowsill, his body facing Taeyong’s even though the other was turned toward Seoul at their feet. 

Taeyong let out a barely audible huff, placed the hot cup in the cavity the blanket formed between his legs, and then turned around to face the older. His head was still resting on the wall at his side, and for a while, they simply stared at each other without saying a word. Somehow, that was enough. A silence that only two souls that knew each other that deeply could donate. An unspoken secret language they had taught each other through the years. They were like that, they never needed to say much out loud, it was a particular type of chemistry that flooded between them. 

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong mumbled, breaking the eyes contact, too fearful and coward to look at him in the eyes. Doyoung furrowed his brow, his hand moving to grab his chin and lift his head up. 

“For what?” 

Taeyong sighed, he blinked repeatedly, trying to clear his eyes from the foggy views the tears he beforehand shed gave him. “For all the shit that I put you through, not only now, but since we know each other.” 

Doyoung bit his lower lip and then moved closer to his boyfriend, his hands cupped his pretty face, and a smile crept on his own as he stared at the boy in front of him. No matter how tired and broken he was, to him, he was still the most beautiful man on the hearth.

“Don’t say sorry,” he whispered, moving the wild strands of his hair who fell messily on his eyes. “I’ll do it all over again for you, Tae. I knew what was coming when I started dating you, and I choose to stay. I’ve always been by your side, knowing that dating you meant waking up with nobody on the other side of the bed for months, and trusting you while you were on the other side of the world. I’ve chosen to stay, knowing that dating you meant going on the internet and read terrible things about your persona that weren’t true. I stayed, in your worst times, when everybody decided to stab you from behind and leave you bleeding. No, I fell for you there, when you were in pieces. I could’ve escaped, walk away like anybody else, take the distances from you, even foment people against you. But I didn’t.” Taeyong was trying to hold back his tears for the nth time of the day, or better, of the week. They loved each other, he was sure about that, but their love language wasn’t a spoken one. For most people it also appeared odd, their close friends and family sometimes still couldn’t believe that they were dating for three years now. Their dynamics appeared strange to many eyes, or at least considered the few people who knew about them. But they worked, better than with anyone else. Still, with all the love they had for each other, hearing things like this wasn’t something Taeyong was used to. He knew that Doyoung wouldn’t hesitate a second to jump off a cliff if it meant saving him, but hearing what he felt out loud made his heart skip a beat and flip in his chest. 

“And you know why?” Doyoung asked as his thumb gently wiped away his rolling teardrops. “And you want to know why I would do it all over again?” His voice started to shake a little bit, Doyoung wasn’t an emotional type, not that he was distant, simply the occasion where he would let himself go in front of the others were rare. But now, with a completely shattered Taeyong standing in front of him, it was just impossible. He had seen Taeyong at his worst, when society wanted him dead, and decided to turn around for the first time, and honestly, he had thought that he would’ve never had to see that again. But he was so wrong because now Taeyong wasn’t even half as broken as he was back then, the oldest didn’t let out much in those days, but Doyoung could only imagine all the things that were running in his pretty little mind. And they weren’t positive. “Because you are a ravishing sweeping fire, the most enchanting one, you have no idea how many times I feared of getting burned by you, but I stayed anyway and learnt that your flames don’t do nothing but keep me warm and safe.” 

Doyoung stopped for a second, taking his time and giving his boyfriend the time to absorb what he was telling him. “Remember what you once told me, the day you texted me we were over because you were terrified your life couldn’t fit mine, and how you didn’t want to hurt me?” Taeyong nodded, he remembered that day clearly. They had been dating for five months at the time, the worst rumours about him had just started to slow down, so he felt a little bit safer to go around Seoul when he had a break. All it took to ruin his day and destroy the pieces he had tried so hard to put back together was a rude comment yelled at him “What’s next? It'll come out that you’re gay?” And as he froze at the harsh words, looked at the ground and kept walking, his first thought flew at Doyoung. He couldn’t do that, he couldn’t put him in that situation. He didn’t think twice when he told him that things were over between them as soon as he arrived home. But honestly, he wasn’t expecting Doyoung banging at his door, screaming that he couldn’t care less what people thought about him, or them, trying to make him understand that they would’ve got this kind of remarks anyway, trying to reassure him that as long as nobody knew they would’ve been fine. 

“Rain will always come if you’re standing with me,” Taeyong whispered, reminiscing the words he had told him through the tears that night. Doyoung nodded, softly smiling at him, and then kept talking. 

“We got drenched with rain, we’ve been in the middle of storms, and look at us.” He smiled, holding his arms out in the air to point at them. “Our love was enough to keep us warm. Your beautiful, sparkling, mesmerizing flame is more than enough to keep us alive, warm and safe.” Taeyong didn’t say a thing, his emotions were all over him, he simply couldn’t find the strength to say anything, not already at least. So he simply let himself crush against Doyoung’s welcoming body, his face sunk in the cavity of his neck as he let the sobs roll out free, they weren’t sad tears, more likely the result of pent up stress of the terrible week he had been trough and the fears for their future who simply seemed faithless and tenebrous.

They sat there for a while, the only sounds they could hear were their breathing and Taeyong muffled cries. The sun was sinking at the horizon, lighting Seoul’s skyscraper of golden, wishing the town a good night, even if the city wasn’t going to sleep at all. Maybe on another occasion, they would’ve cared about that. As Doyoung lazily scrolled through Instagram while the national news channel was playing in the background as he waited for Taeyong to come home after a long day of practice, and then together they would’ve chosen what take out to order, half of the time ending up with Doyoung having to do all by himself because Taeyong was too tired even to make a choice. Or maybe they would’ve hit up some of their closest friends and hang out with them, at their place, without having to worry about getting caught. Maybe in another situation, the radio was on, keeping Doyoung company as he cooked for them, while humming and jamming to the songs the radio was passing, and then he would’ve laughed at Taeyong flustered expression when one of his songs would play. But now, it was totally different. If they turned on the TV they would’ve seen themselves, pictures of their broken privacy splashed on the front page of every journal and gossip show. If Taeyong turned on his phone they would’ve heard the frustrating ringing of persistent notification, missed calls from his mom, and his friends, just wanting to make sure he was still alive. Calls that Doyoung had to take for him during the whole week. 

“You know what? We’re cooking together tonight, you definitely need to eat more than just coffee and cheap snacks and I need to distract your mind from all of this.” Doyoung broke the quite they were in, carefully moving Taeyong away from him to look at his eyes. He tried to suppress a sad smile as soon as he made contact with them, Taeyong’s usually big brown warm eyes were now swollen and red, deprived of their typical bright light. He just wanted him to be happy because Taeyong never deserved any of the hurt people had put him through all these years. And the more he looked at his boyfriend the more he questioned when everything would go back to normal, if it ever will. But Doyoung needed things to at least be good again, he needed his happy, goofy, bright, loud and passionate Taeyong back. Because he deserved to be happy. 

Taeyong just nodded, not like he had a choice anyway, but not that he minded. He felt the need to spend some time together with Doyoung, just them, in their home, acting like the world didn’t exist. It was just an illusion, but he couldn’t care. And he was also pretty used to pretend, in his world, everything was an illusion, it needed to be like this to survive. Or else, there wouldn’t have been any other way to stand all of those masquerade revellers and their fake smiles, and unnecessarily loud laugh to hide emptiness and sadness. And for a split second, Taeyong thought that maybe, taking a break from all of that wasn’t even that bad. 

✯✯✯

“Are you eating?” His mom’s voice ringing from the other side of the phone was muffled, her tone as worried as three weeks before when the mess first happened. Taeyong giggled and rolled his eyes in the back of his head, it was like the third time she had to make sure about that since she called. 

“Yes, mom, I’m good. Doyo is feeding me well.” And even though he couldn’t see it, he perceived the genuine smile creeping on his mom’s tired face. She was so glad his son had someone like Doyoung by his side, especially now that she couldn’t be physically near him. 

“Still can’t come by?” The woman tried to ask anyway. Taeyong shook his head and hummed in negation. 

“You know why.” Honestly, Taeyong would’ve never forgiven himself if something happened to his mother. She wanted to pass by their house since the news broke out, but Taeyong was fast at forbidding her from doing so. Three weeks now, and the situation was still out of control. He simply couldn’t leave the house, the building was surrounded by angry, so-called, fans. Sometimes they were just standing there, breaking the merch, but two times things got out of hand and some neighbour had to intervene. Not that things changed. It was disgusting and scary, to the point he was just expecting from some of them to break in and kill him while he was distracted. Also, Doyoung still had to go to work. Being the owner of his small business he could take a week off to stay with Taeyong and also made up his mind, but they needed his job. Yes, Taeyong’s money were still there, he made pretty much a fortune during his career, but they needed to stay grounded, to have something that somehow reminded them of their everyday reality. Plus, what was Taeyong going to do now? Find another agency? Start one of his own? Cry himself to sleep every night because at this point it felt much more than just music and he couldn’t handle it anymore? Now the latter seemed to be the only thing he could think of. So he just stayed home, waiting for Doyoung to call him every time he made it out and in the house safe. He spent the days with a lump in his throat because of the girls down the house and the terrible things he read on the internet. The only things distracting him, his mom and his friend’s calls. 

At least two minutes passed by in silence, just a light buzzing from the line could be heard, but Taeyong felt some sort of tranquillity in his mom’s breathing. He closed his eyes and imagined to be wrapped in her arms, his head on her chest, as it moved up and down, and her voice chanting a sweet song. Just like when he was a child, and everything was easier, and nobody had ever hurt him. 

“Yongie,” her mom called his attention. The boy hummed, loud enough that she could hear. “You know that I love you and I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve done in your life, right?” His mom had never been too happy about his choice in the career path. She knew he was talented, she never doubted his capability of filling stadiums and captivate people. She simply hated the industry, their brainwashing, the way they produced robots and not people with feelings. She was aware of what being a celebrity meant and she never wished that life for his son. But when someone you love has a dream, what do you do? Do you clip their wings or let them fly? She let him go, and never stopped, even for a second, to be proud of her little man. 

“I know,” Taeyong smiled, a sincere smile after lots of forced ones, “you’re always my number one fan, right?” 

“First and last, nobody might stand your annoying self anymore but I’m going to still be here.” She exclaimed, making his son laugh. But he knew it was true, even if everyone left, she was always going to be there. 

He talked with his mom some more, but when the phone call ended he fell back into the hole that was devouring him. He sighed, nervously running his fingers through his hair, pulling his bleached blonde locks.

He wanted to pick up the phone and call Johnny, have a chat with him up until Doyoung would've come home. Talking with his best friend would’ve definitely helped him to not think about his life. But they had already talked in the morning when Johnny called to make sure that he was okay and proposed him to spend some time with him and Ten in England. He didn’t want to bother him, but at the same time, he didn’t feel in the mood to talk with any other of his friends.

So, pretty much unconsciously, he did the only thing he shouldn’t have done. He grabbed his phone and went on twitter. Socials were toxic, he knew that. He should’ve already deleted everything and don’t think about it, but somehow he always ended up there. He desperately needed to know what people thought about him, if one, even just one, of his fans stayed. And for some sort of strange reason, he felt like he also needed to know all the bad things. To make sure that it was real, that people really hated him. Or maybe because, by now, that words already crept into his brain and he felt like he was unlovable and unworthy and deserved to read what they had been calling him lately. And his heart took it, up until he saw a tweet against Doyoung, about how they didn’t even know him but to date somebody like him they had to be twice as bad. Or another one saying that Doyoung wasn’t even attractive and at least Taeyong could’ve had better taste if he really wanted to be like that. The more he scrolled on his name the worst things got. People saying that they had been waiting for this for ages, some others saying that Taeyong should’ve already been cancelled years ago when his first scandals broke out, or how he had probably fucked his way to the top. Thousands of tweets saying that they always hated him for his attitude, and they couldn’t stand seeing him feeling himself so much, and all of that was a lesson that he was finally paying. Laughs and jokes on how probably the strong, intimidating Lee Taeyong was now crying like a little bitch.

And they were right, because he was sobbing uncontrollably, curled up on himself as he laid on the couch, the phone abandoned on the floor after he slipped from his sweaty hands. He wanted to scream, and he did. An agonizing loud scream resonated through the walls as he tried to push out of his brain the painful and dark thoughts that were drawing him. He couldn’t take it, he couldn’t sleep at night knowing that he was dragging Doyoung in this hell with him when he deserved much better. But what was he supposed to do? Taeyong had already tried to break up with him, fully aware that their lifestyles were just too different. And Doyoung had spent a whole night up just listening to his nagging and crying, as he desperately tried to convince him that no matter how hard it was going to get, he wanted exactly what they had. But now everything was different. Back then Taeyong had snapped because of one single homophobic comment, they weren’t out, nobody knew about them. Now, everything was different. And he just had to make sure that Doyoung was strong enough to get through that. Because Taeyong wasn’t so sure that all that he could offer was enough for him to stay. And he also wasn’t so sure that he, himself, could make it out alive. He just couldn’t take it anymore. And he felt so fragile as perfectly known old thought came to his mind. It wasn’t the first time other people words made him believe that he simply wasn’t worth living. He disrupted the lives of all the people he loved, he was a tornado, not the nice little flame Doyoung loved to describe him as. But he didn’t want to be like this anymore, to hurt the good and trust the evil, even if unconsciously. Maybe it was a sign, that life didn’t suit him anymore. He was tired, he just wanted a normal life. He wanted to wake up in the morning and go to work, just to go back home to Doyoung preparing dinner. He wanted to spend lazy Sundays on the couch wrapped in Doyoung’s arms. He wanted to live somewhere where they could hold hand with a little less terror of being judged and beaten. He wanted to live, as a human being who made mistakes and not an automaton. 

He wiped his tears with the back of Doyoung’ sweater he was currently wearing and got up from that spot in the living room. In less than twenty minutes Doyoung would’ve been home, and he didn’t want him to see him like that. He needed to distract himself, not let his mind travel in the wrong places, so maybe some music playing in the background as he cooked would’ve been helpful. 

✯✯✯

The evening passed by quietly. Doyoung had come home safe, finding Taeyong busy at the cookers, humming and dancing to the rhythm of one of his favourite records. The younger didn’t see it coming and slightly jumped when Doyoung hugged him from behind, maybe, given the tense situation, that wasn’t the best idea Doyoung had ever had, but Taeyong couldn’t mind. He just wanted to feel him close, to make sure that he was there for real, and he wasn’t just one of the many mindless dreams he had. Taeyong had to make sure that Doyoung was his, he had to remind himself that he deserved the happiness he could bring him. And Doyoung felt that something was somehow wrong when Taeyong kissed him a little bit longer than the usual and then didn’t pull away but let his head rest on his shoulder. He didn’t say a word, tough, other than pointing that what was for dinner looked delicious. 

Seoul's sky was particularly pretty that evening, coloured with soft shades of pink and purple, painting their living room with the same tones. And that dinner passed as one of their old romantic indoor dates, far away from the world, and strangely, for the first time after many, the exhausting sense of suffocation wasn’t there. Maybe Taeyong still felt it, but not as much as that afternoon, when he was all by himself. 

Taeyong really didn’t want to ruin that perfect mood. The apparent calm they were surrounded with as they laid on their sofa, carelessly paying attention to the movie they had chosen to watch. They were more lost in each other's touch, Taeyong let himself relax as Doyoung spooned him, their hands intertwined, because they wanted and also because Taeyong had started to nervously bit his nails once again. In the years Doyoung learnt that telling him was useless, he would panic, his cheeks flushed, and then go back doing it once again. So the most efficient method was to grab his hands, play with them, hold them, caress them, anything that could divert Taeyong’s attention and also his nervousness. Not only he would stop bite them, but it would help his sense of anxiety, and Doyoung got to feel him closer, so everybody won with that. 

But they needed to talk. This was a point of no return, and Taeyong had to know if they wanted to travel the same road together forever or not. They needed to start over. Their coming of age had come, they couldn’t just sit around and ignore the problems. Taeyong had never been firm on his choices, always walking on eggshells, with fear of crashing because the danger was near. But now, after all of these years in the industry, he had realized that he simply couldn’t get away from it. It was always around the corner, ready to attack, it lived in him. And he had to remind Doyoung that. He had to let him know all the feelings he had for him, and then let the decision in his hands. 

“I could never give you peace,” the blond mumbled, his words barely more than a whisper. Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows, he had heard what his boyfriend had said, but he couldn’t understand his point. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, moving a little so he could have a better look at the older’s face. 

Taeyong took a deep breath while his eyes were focused on their fingers playing together. “With my life, with who I am. And then your life, and who you are.” Doyoung wanted to roll his eyes to the sky, thinking he was going to witness Taeyong trying to break them apart once again, but something in the tranquillity of the other’s voice told him that this conversation wasn’t going there. 

“Sometimes I look at you, and just don’t feel enough. Not enough to cope for all the things that you had to stop doing for me, or the fears that I planted in your heart, or even the way I make your future so uncertain. I look at you and I see integrity, and it makes me feel small.” 

Doyoung stayed silent, as much as he loved Taeyong, he couldn’t deny that he was right. Their lives were totally different and pretending it wasn’t true would've been. And yes, sometimes it was hard to keep it up with Taeyong’s busy rhythm, sometimes things got bigger than what he could handle. But Doyoung knew that. Taeyong had made it clear since the start, and he knew by himself that dating a celebrity like him would’ve brought along a lot of hard times. Still, he could totally get why Taeyong always felt like a burden; he was insecure, he always believed that he wasn’t deserving of love, especially a sincere one that lead to a healthy relationship. 

“You think that I regret all these years together?” Doyoung asked when nothing else came out of Taeyong’s mouth. 

The other shook his head. “I don’t know, but I want you to know that I’m fully aware of how hard it has been for you too. And I’m glad for all the things you’ve done for me.” 

Doyoung smiled, then one of his hand travelled up to caress his hair. Yes, he knew Taeyong knew that. Taeyong had seen the most fragile and vulnerable sides of him, he had seen him fall apart in front of him so many times that sometimes he wondered why he never left. To strangers’ eyes, Doyoung was strong, always in control of everything, it looked like he always had his shit together, but it wasn’t like that at all. And Taeyong was the only one who ever seen him like that, the only one he had ever opened up to in such a real way. The times he cried because he was terrified of not being able to do well in his new business. The older wanted to spend more time next to him, but the worldwide tours didn’t give him the chance to be present in the way he really wanted. Or when jealousy and insecurity mixed up together, and Doyoung cried at night thinking that Taeyong could find somebody better than him every day; and some nights the blonde was there to roll around, hug him and love the insecurities away, but many others he wasn’t. 

“I’m sorry if I couldn’t always be there for you, but God, Doyoung,” he exhaled, squeezing his eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to roll down his cheeks, “everybody thinks love’s for sure, but I would die for you in secret, any day, without thinking twice.” 

Doyoung’s heart skipped a beat, his head fell on top of his boyfriend’s shoulder as he held him tighter. 

“You know, right?” Taeyong asked, lifting his body to sit up with his back and look at Doyoung in the eyes. And in a fragment, he could see all of his vulnerability. Taeyong had always thought that Doyoung was like glass. Beautiful, transparent, resistant, but so, so fragile, that one single needle could tear him into pieces. And he had seen him shattered many times. He just wanted to make sure that he knew he could always count on him, since most of the times it was always Doyoung worrying about everybody else, without taking care of himself. 

The younger hummed, following his actions. 

“You know that I’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. Give you my wild,” Taeyong stopped for a second, his hand moved to grab Doyoung’s one, and his head rolled back as he tried to hold back the tears, and then let out a giggle “I’d even give you a child if it was possible.”

Doyoung chuckled and smacked him playfully on the arm. 

“You know what I feel for you, the way I never felt so at ease with anybody else. You know how deep under my skin you got, how deeply you know every single inch of my soul. You know how much I cherish the way we don’t need words to understand each other, a glance is enough, silence is enough. I see your family as mine, your brother is my brother, and I couldn’t ask for anything better than that.” His tone was sincere, not that Doyoung ever doubted that, but something in his voice and in the way he was looking at him, made him feel a certain kind of way. And in that moment realization hit him like a truck, what they had was just above everything and everyone else, a rare gem only them could understand. And he was so grateful that fate, God, his ancestors, or whoever people wanted to believe held the strings of life, let them together. 

“I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best,” Taeyong said, now intertwining their fingers, and holding tighter. 

“Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?” a tingle of fragility in his voice. He was scared, no, terrified, Doyoung would say no and run away from him without thinking twice and looking back. He was so scared that Doyoung would've slipped out of his fingers that he unconsciously held even more than before. 

Doyoung didn’t answer, he threw himself in the other’s arms and kissed him, slowly at first, just to become more passionate. His hands running through his locks, pulling him closer. 

“Yes, Taeyong. It will be enough. You are enough. You will always be enough.” He mumbled once he pulled away, tears marking both of their faces. 

“I don’t regret one bit of what I had with you, I could never, Yongie,” he said, his hands still cupping the other’s face. “I want this, I want you, and all the mess you bring with you. I love you. I’m dating you, not them, and their poisoned words. I’m in this with you. Not with anybody else. I don’t care about what they say to you, they don’t even know a quarter of the amazing person that you are. I don’t care about what they say about me, their words don’t define me. Their hate doesn’t define our love and its validity.” 

This time is was Taeyong’s turn to stay silent and just lean in to make their lips touch again. 

And in the dawn of the night, they stayed like that for a while. Forehead to forehead as Seoul was busy outside; with her cars moving between traffic lights and her people getting drunk in downtown bars. They could feel the city’s vibration, but they couldn’t care much about the others. It was just them, lost in their own moment. 

Taeyong leaned in to kiss him again, and again. He needed Doyoung like he was his vital lymph. And he couldn’t care if he looked desperate, greedy and messy like a teenage boy during his first love story. He just wanted to feel. To feel alive, to feel real, to feel love. He couldn’t quite remember the last time they made love to each other. The last months had been a hell for so many different reasons, always busy, life moving so fast that the only time they had together he was either too tired or a quick thing was all they could get at. 

But now, the world had stopped. His castle crumbled overnight. They took the crown from him. He wasn’t sitting on his throne anymore. He had nowhere else to be, now. 

Now they had all the time they wanted to take things slow. To get lost in the smallest details of the other. Taeyong could kiss every small portion of Doyoung’ skin. He wanted to burn in his flames, feel the heat on his skin, and deep down in his soul. 

And right now that Doyoung’s hands were on him, modelling him like a sculptor, touching him like nobody else ever could, he was sure of one thing. He had made mistakes in his life, never learning much from them, but at least he had done one thing right. 

Now that Doyoung’s starry eyes looked at him as if he was the most precious jewel in the world, he understood that just that was enough to light up his darkest night. No, Taeyong didn’t know how to call that, it was just more than love at this point. Maybe they were soulmates. No, definitely they were, there was no other way they could be described as. And a smile crept on his face, as he let himself be lulled by the strange wave of happiness and safeness that hit him. 

Doyoung noticed that, and, stopping for a second, he raised his head to level his. “Why are you so happy, uh?” He asked with a smirk on his face. 

Taeyong shrugged. “Nothing, I was just thinking that I won at life.” 

“You won?” Doyoung raised an eyebrow, his left arm was resting at the side of Taeyong's face supporting his weight so he wouldn’t fall on his naked boyfriend. 

Taeyong hummed, his "dumb" smile never leaving his face. And Doyoung was so glad that the same old Taeyong seemed to be back, at least for now. He knew that the road to healing would’ve been long, but now, Taeyong had stars in his eyes, and that was the only thing he wanted to see. 

“If I tell you that I think we’re soulmates in the middle of a lovemaking session will you run away?” Taeyong giggled as soon as he saw Doyoung roll his eyes. 

“I can’t believe I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Doyoung responded, but his hands were once again busy working on the other’s body, somehow pulling him even closer to his. 

“You want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Taeyong asked with a genuinely surprised look on his face, which disappeared as soon as Doyoung’s hands touched places that made him see stars. His lips opening, letting out beautiful moans that Doyoung suppressed with a kiss. 

“Isn’t that what soulmates do?” Doyoung asked him, leaving a trail of kisses over his neck, down to his collarbone, and all over his chest. 

And Taeyong wanted to say something rational, a small part of him even cry for the joy he was feeling after so many time, but he was already putty in Doyoung’s fingers, overwhelmed by too many emotions. But once again, words were superfluous between them. 

And as they became one in the night, burning in the heat of their love, they both had the confirmation that it would’ve been enough. Because at the end of the day, even if the devil’s in the details, they had a friend in each other.

And somehow, that was the only thing that mattered. 

 part two: where all the poets went to die

[libby-loves-books]

My ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Star Review of Make My Move by @jbreeauthor . If you haven’t grabbed your copy yet get it now on Amazon Kindle, must read Hannaford Prep first tho! Make My Move was everything I needed and more! This book is a reminder why Bree is one of my 1 click Authors. I seriously loved reading Year 2 “Make Your Move” in the guys POV. I loved reading all my favourite parts in Ash, Harley and Blaise’s POV and seeing into their minds throughout this book. The dynamics between the three guys are off the charts and so in sync until a certain Mounty turned up and uplifted their perfect little lives.. Love Hannaford Prep and all the MC’s as well as Side Characters. I have everything crossed Bree gives us more of the guys POV slightly obsessed right now! #jbreeauthor #makemymove #Guyspov #soneededthis #ashharleyblaise #lips #amazon #kindleunlimitedbooks #reverseharembooks #bookstagram #booklover #booknerd #bookcommunity #indieauthor #hannafordprepseries https://www.instagram.com/p/CN4gLaSrbh0/?igshid=1unyzqcrneo5x

[filthyjanuary]

7-12 and 16-20 for the asks!

7. What do you dislike about your favourite season?

i think season 2 is the best, but as i’ve said before, my favourite is 4 solely because the first few eps i watched were from s4. i think season 4 is very solid and even though it’s a season that HURTS BAD because of everything happening between sam and dean, i think the show earns the conflict for the most part. the literal only thing that still haunts me is that the STUPID VOICEMAIL THAT GETS ALTERED IS NEVER ADDRESSED. like i hate more than anything that sam still thinks dean said those things. like i know jared’s said that sam knows dean loves him but i don’t care!!! sam /and/ dean deserve to know the voicemail was changed.

OH also literally everything with anna milton. she deserved better <3 sorry the fridged you and gave part of your arc to a man, queen.

also sam and dean should’ve found out cas let sam out of the panic room.

8. Thoughts on Sam’s demon blood arc

i love sam’s demon blood arc. his hot girl summer! in all seriousness, it makes perfect sense. mystery spot sets it up that sam goes dark when he doesn’t have dean, and s4 is the natural progression of that. i love sam being hellbent on revenge, and the blood drinking was hot sorry not sorry. like obviously the end result wasn’t stellar and the handling of the demon blood as an addiction was handled rather shittily in the show, but overall this arc is near and dear to me and if i couldn’t have the boy king, i’m glad i got this instead. and it brings up some really interesting concepts that get explored really well in fic.

9. Thoughts on the Moc arc

i hate this arc mostly because like dean was terrible...which makes sense, but even after the mark was gone it’s like... he never /really/ pulls himself out of that place. it also just dragged on for FAR too long. like it didn’t need to be like 30 episodes or however long. i do like that it gave us demon!dean being like sexythreatening, and that scene of sam cradling dean’s face and begging him to tell him that he had to kill all those people and just the general sam is dean’s colette of it all. also the end of s10 with sam on his knees and dean telling him to close his eyes is deeply fucked up and i love it for that reason and obviously that happened bc of the MOC storyline.

10. Fave underrated ep

i am highkey obsessed with 1x04 phantom traveller, 2x07 the usual suspects and 4x19 jump the shark and i feel like most people don’t really care about those episodes or bring them up much. phantom traveller is just interesting bc i think the character moments are fun and i am obsessed with plane crashes for some reason. the usual suspects i just adore because it’s really a great exploration of HOW WELL sam and dean know each other and just how alike they are. and unfortunately i really like the cop lady in this one. jump the shark was the second episode of supernatural i ever saw and for some reason something in my brain latched onto adam and never let go. i love him so much (i know it’s not really him in the ep but ukno) and i love how much you learn about sam and dean through it too.

11. Thoughts on BMOL

boring. like...the actors were not good at their accents. they wanted what bela talbot had in s3. i just didn’t find ‘the british are evil’ a compelling storyline in a supernatural show.... like girl i live in real life you don’t need to preach to me about the british. also like they set up ketch to be evil like worse than toni who i already hate because she tortures/sexually assaults sam by having him kill magda i guess? but then they end up redeeming him and he survives longer than both mick (affectionate) and toni (derogatory), like seriously one of the worst Big Bads they’ve ever had.

12. Thoughts on Mary

to be honest, i think bringing her back was kind of a stupid idea in the sense that the ENTIRE SHOW starts because of her death. but i felt like HAVING DONE THAT, trying to deconstruct her image as like this nuclear housewife was compelling and the whole clash of sam and dean who just want their mom versus mary who left her kids as a an infant and a small child and now has these grown men who are older than her needing things she doesn’t know how to give was very interesting. and i wish they’d done more with that. 

16. Any criticisms of their world building/lore

well i think everyone’s said it better than me that they can’t seem to get their stance on monsters straight at all and the show suffers for it. i also hate how like the later seasons especially just blatantly retcon so much. the prime example is the garden of eden in s5 vs s15.... the s5 version was so much more interesting and i hate that they brought it back just to destroy their own lore. the whole concept of the abrahamic god being like the ‘real’ god vs other gods just being minor annoyances didn’t like...make sense or feel good either. i also would’ve loved more exploration of like what the fuck it means to be a vessel and also exploration of other monsters/urban legends. like ok we get it ghosts/demons/vampires/werewolves sure w/e but there’s so much to pull from. it got repetitive and there’s so many other things they could’ve tried. hell the SECOND EPISODE of the show mentions black dogs and we never actually encounter one. or like chimeras... like there’s just plenty to dig into and they just get lazy.

17. What did you like about s15?

15x20 <3 also just...jack....that’s my son! MICHAEL/ADAM IN 15X08!!!! i think there were a couple moments i liked in like...the gambler and last holiday, and i thought belphagor was funny. oh! also sam’s nightmare visions were kinda fun even tho they led back to lucifer :/

18. Thoughts on Lucifer

he was a really excellent and intimidating villain in s5.... and frankly i enjoyed hallucifer as well because sure he was presented comedically but he was a deeply dark presence hanging over sam as a reminder of what he suffered. everything after that...sucked!!! it sucked!!!!! overstayed his welcome, letting him out of the cage again totally nullifies sam’s sacrifice and frankly he lost every smidge of intimidation factor he ever had. he was just annoying and whiny and pointless and sam should’ve killed him <3 fuck that guy.

19. Most uncomfortable moments throughout the show for you?

answered here

20. Define the different eras in a few lines or words (s1-5, s6-7, s8-11, s12-15)

this was meant to be short... and then it wasnt... sorry.

kripke: PEAK SUPERNATURAL. racist AND sexist but like i frankly do not care because the actually storytelling is so GOOD. COHERENT. i long for what could’ve been had the strike not kneecapped s3 and we’d gotten boyking, but hell the arc we DID get... so good. so fulfilling. aesthetics go off the charts. character dynamics so good!!! conflicts are earned!!!! there was a fucking vision here and it was unique and interesting and the show was COMMITTED TO IT. literally iconic television i love her so much. eric kripke needs a therapist but i’m glad he wrote this show instead of going to see one. 

gamble: sera THEE gamble.... overarching storylines kinda weak, but SO FUN! i had fucking fun! soulless sam is a comedian, godstiel was the last time cas was remotely interesting, like!!!! she gave us everything!!!!! gets slandered way too much by this hell fandom like yes the leviathans were stupid but the were FUN and the character moments in s6-s7!!! so good!!!! lots of excellent MOTW eps as well, which... as we know...i love. when the show lost gamble, it lost something great, i’ll die on this hill. i love u #girlboss.

carver: there’s a lot of good here and a lot i despise. dean steadily grows darker throughout the show but there’s like a real VEER into being awful in s9 that the show never recovers from. it makes dean very unlikeable for the rest of its run, mostly by virtue of the show not realizing how unlikeable it’s made dean because it needs him to always be right so the fact that he’s basically turned into john is never like....addressed in any meaningful way. some storylines (MOC!!) dragged on for too long, while others were way too short (TRIALS!!!) but ultimately i think there were some good ideas here and moments i’m fond of. season 11 is Beautiful. i love her so much. there’s some really excellent eps in s11 and the character moments are good.

dabb: i literally hate it here (jack sweetie you are not included in this assessment you’re doing great). it was just stupid. the characterizations of EVERYBODY sucked and fell flat. way too obsessed with pandering to the loudest faction on twitter. took the wreckage of dean that carver left and full destroyed him. like straight up could’ve done something meaningful if they’d bothered to address it at all but they literally didn’t ever make dean be accountable for his actions??? can’t tell u what cas was doing it was so forgettable he obviously had no purpose literally the only scenes i remember were a couple where he’s being cute with jack and that one ep where he and sam go to that old-timey town and sam gets brainwashed. sam like... exists, and his character is intact but it’s only intact because the writers that were left didn’t want to bother giving him anything meaty to do to so the were like *spins wheel* leadership arc that goes nowhere, and he just exists being kind and compassionate and putting up with too much shit. BUT HE HAD REALLY FUCKING EXCELLENT MOMENTS WITH JACK and that alone is why i think it’s worth the slog. sam/jack is my favourite dynamic on the show following sam/dean so...unfortunately based on that.... i can’t just burn the whole dabb era but seriously... way to make every character a hollow, one-dimensional shell.

send me supernatural asks

[stfuisaac]

hello hello it’s lucky again and,, sadly,, we don’t have the technology that makes the thoughts we have just.... appear onto our screens yet... so this took a hot sec and still isn’t perfect bc i don’t plan on proofreading :\ but! here,, is,, my new,, drummer boy,, parumpumpumpum

‹ avan jogia, he/him, cis man, bisexual. › ISAAC BAROT is the TWENTY-SEVEN year old from SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ I HEARD THIS IS WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THE TWILIGHT ZONE. ❞ they claim GET OUT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would BE OBLIVIOUS TO THERE EVEN BEING A KILLER UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. their fears include MANNEQUINS, HITCH-HIKERS and DYING WITH NOTHING TO SHOW, and they don’t know we know, but… HE GOT INTO A (MUTUALLY) NEAR FATAL ALTERCATION WITH A STRANGER HE GAVE A RIDE TO (YES, HE WAS AN UBER DRIVER - HIS GREATEST SHAME). hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ PLATANCHOR requested by JOAKIM from STRESSED OUT penned by, LUCKY, 20, EST. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: isaac benjamin barot

date of birth: september 12, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: virgo sun, taurus moon, libra rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: session drummer + lyft driver + ex-uber driver

mbti: entp

enneagram: 5w6

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “deja vu” - roger waters

BACKGROUND INFO:

alright. so.

isaac's backstory is neither tragic nor easy. his father was an immigrant who married his mother solely to get a green card (y’all, to be fair... the citizenship tests are whack). there wasn’t any real romance between the two, but the drop-ins always said otherwise. no, outside of putting on a show for government officials, isaac’s father and mother were friends at the best of times.

the best of times culminated in a son who grew up in an interesting dynamic. his father and mother never even attempted to be anything more than friends (with, as you can see, the occasional benefits). after the check-ins finally stopped, his father and mother even began sleeping in different rooms. his mother would trade in her queen for a double and replace the space his father used to take up with his cradle.

it was nothing like the ‘unhappy marriage’ trope, though... again, because they barely ever pretended to be married. they would take their wedding rings off when they went out with friends. sometimes they would even take off their rings around each other and talk the other up to someone attractive.

so it was unorthodox, but it was much better than his parents pretending to be in love in that way and giving him a skewed version of what romance should look like.

one down-side to it, though, was that isaac never knew who he was supposed to go to for what. usually it’s just a given that “if you need/want x, go to the matriarch, if you need/want y, go to the patriarch” but... what happens... when your parents are basically just your friends?

so thank god for growing up in the age of technology. like,, ya,, a literal baby can’t google things like “how to say ‘mom’” but a 15y/o can google “how to shave”

so... ya... his parents were his friends, the internet was his parent(s?).

one thing the internet couldn’t do? give him drums. it could introduce him to the likes of ringo starr, john bonham, keith moon, and ginger baker, but it couldn’t give him drums... not when he was only, like... 10, at least.

so he put a set on his christmas wishlist and figured they would divide amongst themselves.

so ya, his 10th christmas, he got a shitty little rockwood hohner kit that he would use for the next nine years.

he never received any professional training. again, he didn’t know who to ask and... youtube wouldn’t exist for another three years. he tried to teach himself using a few books and, if nothing else, figured out a few simple beats and how to gain independence.

after learning those simple little beats and not knowing if he wanted to buy the next book, he decided to take a break and, instead of going back to professional books, he’d just listen to some of his favorite tracks... most of which were ginger baker... which made things kind of hard when he only had one bass drum, two tom-toms, and one floor tom. those, plus the really low quality pearl cymbals. still, he did his best to make it work.

just a side-note that, because of videos of ginger, isaac used (and still uses, out of habit) a mix of traditional and matched grip.

he went back and forth between the books and mimicking the patterns of other drummers (mostly ginger) up until he was around 16 and his friend, ribs (y’all), decided to teach him a few more technical skills. what you want to learn for this song are polyrhythms, but those are hard and no, ginger isn’t using a crash there, he’s using a splash and do you want a discount on some better cymbals and drumheads from my parents’s music shop because this is a very functional kit but it kind of sounds whack

he continued using the same whack kit, but replaced the heads with aquarians, as per ribs’s recommendation (but evans and remo are also good) and, after literally examining baker’s kit, replaced the cymbals with various zildjian collections

even though we stan istanbul agop in this house.

he also started listening to more drummers than... pretty much just baker with a hint of john bonham, keith moon, and ringo starr. as his friend suggested, he tried out drummers like buddy rich, art blakey, travis barker, dave grohl, karen carpenter, neil peart, nick mason, simon phillips –– even was told to listen to ac/dc songs just to see how a successful band could be made using essentially the same beat over and over and over.

so now he had some split time. school. work. practice. figure out who the hell was making dinner that night/if there was someone making dinner last night because they might both be talking each other up.

although he applied to various colleges, and although some of these colleges actually accepted him, he ultimately decided not to go. instead, he moved from san jose to los angeles in the hopes that he’d find something bigger than himself... and a new drum set...

he found the latter in a ludwig kit with two bass drums, two tom-toms, and two floor toms. then he just added a bunch of stuff and tried to make it like ginger baker’s. pretty much spent all of his money on it and then some.

when his friends formed a band and found success, he was very very happy for them... but... he found himself stuck... driving ubers.

and lyfts!

he’d seen the twilight zone before. he loved that show. he’d seen the episode ‘the hitch-hiker,’ so he was really driving for the companies against his better judgment. 

his worst uber story? the time a guy got into the car, had pinged a location that was still marked as a store on the uber gps but had recently been torn down, and tried to attack him when they got there :\ he 110% fought back, though. was fired because the other guy was the one who made it out injured.

only drove for lyft after that :\

he did take on a few projects, but he... proved to be too much of a roger waters for people who just wanted to chill and have fun. there would be adverts for people who wanted to form a band and he’d be like “hell yeah! finally! a band!” then he’d get pissed that they advertised it so seriously but really... just wanted to jam. did not have any plans to try to do anything with it.

the few projects he did join that involved people who wanted to actually achieve success... if they were slacking, you best bet his inner roger waters came out! which is why he never stuck around in any projects for too long!

but ‘projects’ and ‘jam sessions’ were totally different. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a project? he’s gonna take that intro that literally everyone on the planet knows SERIOUSLY. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a jam session? LET’S HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

he does some session/studio drumming for other artists to make some extra money while doing something he genuinely enjoys... but... still... it is no project™

in between things right now, he got a call from joakim that, while muffled and staticky, sounded like it said ‘get here, please’ and clearly stated where he was.

of course, voicemail lines were crossed and many many many essential words were left out – words that were basically saying the exact opposite ahfsdkjl. the shadow’s really playin them :\

so here he is, in all his glory.

TL;DR:

i was gonna kms if i didn’t play another drummer, so this is my ginger baker fanboy whose parents were literally just best friends and, as a result, were also both his friend. the internet raised him. started playing drums when he was 10 on a low qual kit with low qual cymbals that his parents got him for christmas, but literally why would you get a beginning a good set? continued playing. eventually moved to los angeles and tried to form many successful projects, but was too much of a roger waters. was summoned up here by the shadow man fucking around joakim. his greatest shame is how many ubers he has driven.

PERSONALITY INFO:

he will always say his proudest moment was when he learned how to play ‘toad’ by ginger baker cream all the way through.

big ginger baker fanboy.

loves the twilight zone and will just spill a random fact out about it every now and again.

a lowkey control freak which completely goes against the way he dresses and the vibe he gives off. 

is only a dick about it if you’re part of one of his ‘projects’ but aren’t taking it seriously tho :\

ok i’m too tired 2 write a personality section rn when im already rly bad at them but!! again!! feel free 2 j refer to the zodiac big three + the personality types!!

FEARS:

mannequins: they’re already creepy enough when you really think about it, then you add in that episode of the twilight zone where the characters wake up in an unfamiliar house and go outside and basically everyone is just a mannequin? ya he hates mannequins.

hitch-hikers: so, as we have just seen, he’s had it bad enough with people who were registered to an app, paying, their personal information readily available, etc., etc... so then what would happen if it was just a complete and utter stranger who didn’t have any personal information, any ping, and was the sole focus of a different twilight zone episode? he... is going... to drive past you. he’ll feel bad about it, but...

dying with nothing to show: here’s the money shot! here’s the deep fear! as has been shown throughout, isaac craves success and some form of a legacy. if he dies with nothing to show for his life, then was his life ever worth it in general?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, it might be bc im tired rn,,, but i have the most basic list that will hopefully be updated tomorrow bc it is SO VERY BASIC:

friends

fwb

ons

exes

enemies (much easier to get on his bad side than it is w/ fluke)

BRAINSTORMING AND/OR SOMETHING FROM YOUR WANTED CONNECTIONS AND/OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR!!!!

[steponmepinkjun]

ok replying to the last ask from the shortie convo: i have decided that the issue isn’t my unintimidating appearance nor any lack of badassery in my chart, i simply need to start snapping on bitches. no more making excuses just committing a straight up murder, verbally, or maybe i’ll just start swinging. who knows. i Could be giving off that energy you describing but i’m clearly not so it’s probably just that i’ve been holding myself back. fuck that, it’s been too chummy over here i’m gonna start summoning demons n shit. haunting people via the astral plane. going to their house and moving all their furniture an inch to the left so they bump into everything. swapping their lube and laundry detergent. stealing peoples bank account numbers. selling their organs online. fucking their mans. nt’s who wanna try me aboutta catch these HANDS! YALL WANTED TO SEE A SCORPIO YALL GON GET STUNG BITCHES

i’m definitely taking this ego boost and running w it tho. ur right tho us scorpios go hard. in theory i’m like “yeah i’m a p selfish person i always put myself over everyone else even those i care about” when in reality if someone even Breathes incorrectly at any of my like 4.5 people i’ve decided are My People they aboutta feel the wrath of a GOD. i just been cast away too many times to put in that energy for most people tbh it’s hard bc i’m an extrovert snd i Want lots of friends but i’m picky w em. if i find them boring they’re getting left on read. if their sense of humour doesn’t bounce off mine like a motherfucking bouncy castle that you can safely do a triple backflip on, i’m not having it. if they can’t take my roasts with their head held high they ain’t lasting long. this criteria narrows it down to just abt everyone who don’t want me, apparently, and some randos on the internet. LMFAO. then again i’ve had people i just thought were ok and not fun enough to stick around for, be the ones reaching out to me n put the effort in to be my friend and i just 🥺🥴🤩🥺🥺 i’m gonna roast them shitless but if anyone else says so much as a single hair on their head being off i am annihilating their entire bloodline down to the 9th generation. you best not go around telling ppl how soft we are on the inside tho hoe i do Not strap a switchblade to my thigh for people to find out about my romanticism or how i daydream abt just hanging out w my best friends n doing The most domestic and normal things just bc i want to spend more time w them, no, shhh. keep it on the down low. also aquarians tend to scare me in terms of genuine friendships bc y’all so flaky like aquas would tell me “i love u so much ur like my favourite person ever” then ghost my entire existence until i ask them for a tbh on their insta story and turns out they thought i was too much and their friends all hate me, like, i love yalls sense of humour but OUCH. u may projectile vomit at ur taurus moon but that’s like Exactly what u need to balance that shit out cause taurians to be ride or die. like yeah they’re arguably “lazy” by generalisation but that’s just bc their motivation is Extremely tunnel visioned towards whatever makes them happy and if that’s you you’re getting Showered in love n affection and attention and yall stubborn as a brick wall but loyal to a fault. us scorpios need thst shit bro we need that Stability taurians provide, esp since they’re so sturdy they tend to be able to handle our intensity well without being scared off. no taurus slander in this household will be tolerated unless it’s from me 😤😤😤 -felix bi anon

I'm tellliiiing you, you need to start smackin bitches. Cause I've met baby scorps that don't realize they literally are The Babe With The Power, and then full scorps who know that smackin tf out of someone is ONLY A PROBLEM to bitches who know they do shit they deserve to get slapped for 😂

I'm always honestly confused when people say Aquarians are cold or detached or unemotional ☹️because I genuinely don't get it 😭 like, we are some of the most emotional people on fuckin planet earth, to our own detriment—I think we just have an ego problem and we also tend to be extremely contrarian, so whenever someone thinks they know us or what we're about, we pull the rip cord because no one could EVAAAAA, and it's insulting that they think they could 😂 But I've always known Aquarians to be some of the most sensitive bitches, we just don't externalize it because our world is internal, we don't share w the world, we create our own. We are flakier than a fresh baked fuckin Popeyes biscuit tho, that is the gods honest truth. We will decide on the drive to ur place that we're no longer invested and just up and turn around and go back to bed without a word. I think what the outside world intercepts as being cold or aloof in Aquarians is actually just the fact that we really struggle with Casualness and take everything WAY too seriously and are extremely idealistic, and we're so used to being made fun of for being too serious or too passionate that we just like. Stop showing up mentally to a lot of spaces. Especially if what we're excited about is something other people find weird, we jsut go "okay I won't share joy with you anymore cause you're a bitch." I've also never known another Aquarian who doesn't feel an extremely strong sense of intuition, coupled with a really black and white thinking, that makes us quickly gauge how compatible someone's values etc are with ours and if we have an inkling it's not gonna work, we just dip. I'm totally guilty of thinking someone is my kindred spirit and then they say one thing that makes me feel differently and I just cut ties, cause I know that they won't change and I can't abide by our differences, so it feels like an insurmountable problem and we just shut it down and move on. We think too much about shit lmfao. My problem with Taurians has always been that, in my experience, they have this deep emotional capacity because they think of their life through the lense of classic film, so being the hopelessly devoted friend or the lovestruck ingenue is appealing to them for that reason, so they can picture their actions from a 3rd person pov and feel that the audience will react positively to their character. To people/signs that are internally motivated rather than externally, that can read as not being genuine, and that's been my large experience with taurus. I don't hate Taurians, I have a lot of them in my life, but the Taurus in my chart only exacerbates the natural dramatic nature i have and makes me unbearable a lot of the time lmfao. I'm idealistic enough as it is, my moon in taurus just makes me INSANELY emotional about romance and friendships to a degree that keeps me from having them because I NEED it to be storybook, it has to be perfect or I can't handle it. I'd sum up the taurus/Aquarius dynamic as us feeling uneasy about them because they're very driven, but we feel it's for the wrong reasons, if that makes sense.

[whifferdills]

“World Enough and time” quicktakes:

fuck dudes what if the Xmas special is a “Caves of Androzani” thing where the Dr is basically dying the whole time. that'd explain the dramatic 'noooooo', bc this Dr Who i feel isn't a 10 Dr sort of, fuck you i need THIS ME to live, but in the context of 'i can't do the regeneration tango rn i have work to do' it makes sense

god i love generational ships. this ep doesn't quite nail it but i love that SF trope

MISSY. who is Doctor Who, with her plucky assistants/expendables. i am in love. "Think of the age gap" fuckin

"Nardole, do something non-irritating," says Dr Who, eating snacks. all my Twelvedole headcanons are basically canon now

"Time Lords are friends, everything else is cradle-snatching." you could do a meta on the Time Lord take on intimacy using that line alone.

Friends above all else. And the Dr and Missy are very, very old friends

"You're probably handsome, aren't you. Well congratulations on your relative symmetry." I love Missy ok

"And if I'm in the shower, just bring me some beans on toast. That's....that's roughly human flirting, right?" MISSY.

her accent ramping up on "this ridiculous exercise" right i just really love Missy

Dr Who's real name is Dr Who. the meta nods, i'm livin. "I'm cutting to the chase baby, I'm streamlining, I'm saving us ac-tu-al minutes." *dab* M I S S Y

"Are you eating?" yes, yes they are. luv this hungry boy

Nardole was Blue, once. what the fuck is Nardole

"Is this the emotion you call...spanking" holy shit Missy please i cant

i love how the Dr's speech is just cut off, it reminds me of - i think it's an Indiana Jones? where the one dude is like *dramatic sword flourishing* and the other dude just straight-up shoots him

like i know it'll end up ok but BILL NO. this moment doesn't quite feel earned - like maybe if more of the writers had really used her? but it kind of just feels shitty and cheap. horrifying, but it woulda landed better if she'd been more present beforehand. see also: how "Heaven Sent" woulda worked better if Clara hadn't been fridged or off away wherever i really wish we'd had more 12&Bill moments. i love what we get here, just that shoulda happened all season

nice kitchen. looks like an Aalto-Shaam and a salamander, plus fryer and misc. decent set-up for a college cafeteria.

"What's so special about her?" "I don't know." "Yes you do." "Are you having an emotion?" See THIS is what i want this Team TARDIS to be and i'm so mad we're only getting it now

Twelvedole is canon tho look @ these 2 obnoxious boys

and fuck that scene w/ 12 and Bill just chatting about crushes i wish we'd had more of that

i feel like 12 has eaten more on camera than any other dr who, i am here for this hungry boy who drops chips on their lap

"she was my man-crush - I think she was a man back then" all the gender-misc sexuality-misc stuff yes YEs like sure it's clumsy but it's CANON

"but you still call yourselves Time...Lords." "Yeah shut up." seriously why did we not get more of 12 and Bill hanging out

the PACT to see ALL OF THE STARS anyway Best Enemies is real

i love Bill admitting that she's scared, and doing the thing anyway. Bill in a nutshell right there

oh GOD the body-horror of the Cybermen and the VOICES uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghgwaghfgejf nope

"Wait for me" oh way to use hope to fuck someone up again. why, why dude

on first watch i did not at all suspect that this dude is the Master in disguise, i’m a dum-dum

so this hurts more on re-watch

and after input from smarter people - the disguise the Master uses is sort of...like it edges into a hinky area. dunno if it's anti-semetic as such (im not an expert, just it feels fucky on second viewing) but it does flirt with those tropes a lot and w h y would you go there

ffffffuck the converted people just screaming out best they can that they're in pain, and then being silenced. this is for me probs the most directly horrifying thing DW has done since, idk, "Midnight"? been a while, anyway. fuck, dudes

so i know it's the Master now but i do really love the relationship Bill has with Master-In-Disguise. it's a trick, a trap, but it also feels almost...genuine. they have a dynamic, Bill believes in it and i'd be almost be willing to believe the Master does too, despite themselves

Nurse Ratched continues to terrify audiences. the self-assured evil-nurse trope, like. is it cheap? yes. is it fucking me up? also yes. (my favorite aunt is a nurse, i’ve had a lot of - like not good experiences, but experiences where the nurses saved the day best they could; i love nurses but ALSO this trope ok ok ok aw geez)

the body-horror in this episode continues to be OFF THE CHARTS like this is as if someone asked me 'what deeply upsets you' and then they made an episode about it holy fuck

why's Dr Who fucking around for so long if they already know the bottom is much faster and Bill's down there for years like fuck off, be succinct, cough it up. 12 is every waiter i've ever dealt with as expo like - just FUCKING SAY WHAT YOU NEED don't dick around

i do really love Bill here. that mix of needing to leave and wanting to stay, or vice versa

V E N U S I A N  A K I D O. they've got hidden talents and hidden arms

the graphics in this episode are nice that black hole is nice somebody put some work in there

speaking of the assets - Murray Gold nearly on a Phillip Glass tip here. that sort of dissonant orchestral thing. you could rescore this with the soundtrack to Koyaanisqatsi, easily

god that Cyberman voice is...so upsetting. again, always. fuck that shit. this does have a big Spare Parts vibe, with the dying world trying to save itself and the semi-volunteers. it's not quite as emotionally crushing as Spare Parts but it does angle towards that whole...yknow

"aw, sorry mate, guess what I'm about to do" like even knowing what he is, what this situation is, this is such a pure Bill moment and i love it

DONT U DARE DO ANYTHING TO BILL I SWER

but fuck dudes this is ultra horrifying this is so bad and i like it bc i'm confident it'll end up ok but god oh god oh no Bill i wish that hadn’t happened

Missy/Master sure is a thing. i'm really hoping Missy is stronger than that now, better than that now

fuck my emotions are all over the place

A  M O N D A S I A N  C Y B E R M A N

that Master reveal was straight out of Classic Who

"You've met the ex" / "I waited for you" oh shit oh no

NEXT TIME: my soul dies, everything is bad, aw fuck

[0mint-tee]

bc im bored

1. What do you like about your Sun Sign and what don’t you like? I like that im independent, don’t mind making the first move, dont let em take advantage of me, im strong, opinionated.. and i dont like that im quite too reactive, always expecting people to do what i’d do, i tendo to get angry and stressed, insecurity 2. What are the positive and negative aspects of your Sun Sign that you display? same 3. Like about your Moon Sign and dislike? aries moon: too reactive, childish, egoistical... but i like that im caring, passionate, strong, affectionate 4.Positives and negatives of your Moon Sign that you display?  same 6. Do you get along with people who share your Sun Sign? yes!! 7.What are your relationships like with those with Signs opposite to you? i had a libra friend, he was alrite, but kinda boring and just meh 8. What Sign do you get along with best? sagittarius, aquarius and scorpio for some reason. also gemini but just for fun. maybe cap too 9. Worst? cancer, virgo, leo, pisces 10. Favorite Sign in Sun? sagittarius, aries, aquarius maybe capricorn 11. In Moon? taurus, aries 12. Rising? aquarius, aries, taurus, sagittarius i guess 13. Venus? gemini, leo,libra, taurus, scorpio maybe.... 14. Are you interested/do you believe in Synastry or Astrological Compatibility?  YASSS 15. What’s your Astrological OTP? mmmh never thought about this one xd I think Pisces and Capricorn, Sagittarius and aries 16. What pair do you think is the worst? Taurus and Aquarius OR Aries and Virgo 17. What Sign have you had the most success with romantically? Leo (to say something lol)...and right now scorpio 18. The least? virgo and cancer 19. Are you attracted romantically to a certain Sign? Sagittarius and Aquarius..maybe Taurus 20. Platonically? Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces 21. What do you like about your Venus Sign? In gemini...the good part is sharing info and talking for hours, laughing a lot, wanting to know everything 22. Dislike? well the bad part is sometimes u dont really know what u want in love and u go around flirting with everyone.. 23. If you could have any Venus Sign what would it be? taurus...maybe leo...or pisces or scorpio 24. Have you ever compared your chart to another’s to see if the two of you were compatible? YAS 25. Were there any surprises for you in your birth chart? mmmh yes..few..but at that time i didnt know much bout astrology so 26. If you could change any part of your charts what would it be? neptune in first house! taurus mercury...and moon in aries 27. What are the Signs of your friends? What is the dynamic like? right now pisces and scorpio (wonder why so many water..mhh im lacking it in my chart) 28. Your parents’ Signs? scorpio father and aqua mother What is the dynamic like? he was dominant and abusive, total mess of a scorpio and she was cold and dependent of him, zero self-steem totally weird for an aqua woman! 29. Your current or most recent partner’s Sign? last ‘’partner’’..virgo What is the dynamic like? HORRIFIC, he wasso pathetic, so critical of me, we could never understand each other, it was hell till i decided to cut it off 30. Do you believe gender influences Astrology? not..quite? not sure 31. Are you interested in Western, Eastern, and/or Vedic Astrology? vedic yeah bc it’s famous 32. What House placement has helped you the most in life? i think...taurus mercury and aquarius rising..and sun in aries!!! 33. Hurt you the worst? neptune in first square my sun and moon... mars conjunt sun, moon in aries, sun conjuct moon 34. Do you believe Astrology determines our destiny or that we still have free will? we always have free will its up to us to work on ourselves 35. Do you believe in Astrological Soulmates? yeah 36. How seriously do you take Astrology? VERY 37. Have you ever felt skeptical of Astrology? not really 38. Do you worry about Retrogrades? i try to work with them and pay attention, i worry about mercury retrograde HAHA 39. Do you consider Astrology when planning for your future? yes,very but not so much ahead mostly bc i live in hte present, but when i cut my hair, get hair dye, have to talk to somebody, go out an stuff like that i always have a look at my transits and when its not the right time i will NOT do it 40. Do you feel like people take Astrology too seriously or not seriously enough? mmmhh..well theres peoplle for everything in this world. but both sides are a consequence of egoism. ones who take astrology VERY serious need to consider what they really expect from it like, to save their lives or something bc astrology will not, that’s just a part which can help us grow then u have to experience ur own life like..astrology just a guidance...not everything!! and thos ewho think astrology is fake are afraid to see whats there for them, theyre comfortable thinking they are good just the way they are, they think improving is soooo hard to do, its a way of being lazy so...whatever!up to them 41. Is Astrology a large part of your life? YAS 42. Can you relate better to your Dominant or Sun Sign? ......yes sigh 43. What Element is Dominant in your Chart? FIRE sigh 44. Are you the type who always asks for other’s Signs? ALWAYS 45. Feelings on Ophiuchus? i think they took it away bc they’re not interested in them, but actually ophiochus is very cool, very interesting story, people should check it out bc it makes a lot of sense, dont just run away from it bc they already have theyre structures! and theyre scared 46. What do you like and dislike about the tumblr Astro community? i like that i can learn a lot and theres interesting facts, Q&A, memes... but i dont like that theres too much of it like..TOO much and some blogs do not do a favor to astrology they just post random things, unaccurate stuff... 47. Do you have a favorite Astro blog? few 48. What do you think about Zodiac stereotypes? those are cool for understanding the signs but theres much more to them 49. What’s your Astrology forte? Relationships, careers, etc. mmm...i think personl growth, but relationships have always been very important to me to grow up 50. Do you believe in any other “pseudoscience”/occult practices? everything that could there be,,,