#seriously though imagine if they did find that out and then remembered Buffy and Angel and all that happens with that

[lightdancer1]

Also there's a completely untapped bit of comedy gold with Tillow:

Tara: "We're soulmates!"

Willow, remembering Buffy and Angel:

Willow: "Yeah, uh.....about that? I think we're best off as just friends. You know, I really don't want to get into why but I'll simply tell you to ask Buffy about Angel and let her have that conversation. So....I'm going. Away. Now."

Tara: "Huh?"

Tara later:

[moonah-rose]

Need to talk a bit about how important Bangel was as a ship to me when I was a tween. Because even though I prefer Spuffy and Fuffy now, and find Angel's early character to be a little dull and flat, theirs was still the first ship I remember being truly feral over. I recorded my first viewing of Becoming Pt 2 and wore the VHS out rewatching that episode.

And I think a huge part of that hyperfix, despite me not really being attracted to "boys" without fully understanding why at the time, was how much Angel was a part of the whole "flipped gender roles" the show was going for. Because back in the 90s, or hell even nowadays, the only male characters who were constantly needing to be rescued were scrawny nerd guys or fragile old men. And if a woman was a hero she was mostly rescuing either other, usually more petite, women - or kids. Angel was a very feared and powerful vampire, but the show brilliantly laid out the reason for why he's not the hero of the show in the first episode.

"Because I'm afraid."

Courage is typically seen as a "masculine" trait, particularly in the context of battle, yet it's Buffy - the sixteen year old cheerleader - who is braver than the two hundred year old vampire. To quote my favorite Doctor; "Courage isn't a matter of not being frightened. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway." Buffy is still afraid but she doesn't let that fear hold her back like Angel does. Also I think the fact Angel is humble enough to admit this to someone who is still a stranger at this point is pretty damn attractive. Hell, just the fact that he never complains about feeling emasculated or sidelined by Buffy constantly rescuing him or taking the lead in fights is Very Sexy, and I say that as a lesbian. It's one thing him and Spike have in common, these two are both proud simps for their queen (Spike probably a little more) and to this day I still don't see enough of Strong Man Saved By Even Stronger Girlfriend than I would like and why mlw ships rarely do anything for me because this show altered my brain chemistry so much. I will never not swoon at Buffy saying "No one hurts my boyfriend!" in What's My Line. Seriously, how often do you get to see the girl be the Protective Alpha in a mlw ship?! Not enough. Also I think it's telling how the least popular Buffy ships were involving the guys who did seem to take issue with the whole "not being man enough to be her equal" thing....*clears throat*

But as well as the fact he's the one being saved, he also owes most of his growth to her. When people say "Angel couldn't have existed without Buffy" it's true in both the meta sense but also who Angel was between S1 and S3. He starts off as someone too crippled by fear and guilt to act and cleaves to Buffy as his chance of redemption, starts to get more involved with the Scoobies only to eventually be trapped in his own body (and then Hell), then ends basically flying the coop to his own adventures. Even though Angel starts off as a mysterious guide and support role, in a way he ends up being her protégé because he learns how to be a hero from watching her. I truly believe she's what inspires him to stop lurking in the shadows and Do Something, which eventually leads to him getting his own show where he can be a more traditional hero (sometimes to the level of missing the whole point about gender roles of the OG show but we'll leave that for another rant).

Honestly imagine the reactions if they made a show like Buffy today, considering the vitriol haters have for something like the Barbie movie, or any female Marvel / Star Wars character just existing.

[thestorybrookeclocktower]

I’ve been abused. This is the first time I admit it to myself.

I’ve been abused several times, psychologically, mostly, but also phisically and sexually. It’s hard to admit it. It’s been harder to realize it.

I was an abused child. Before I dig into it, I’d like to point out that I’m managing to do this only thanks to She-Ra, to Catra, in particular, to Adora, and to this video: https://youtu.be/arsKPegw1Tg . So thank you, Noelle Stevenson, and thank you, whoever made that video.

I’m frightened, right now. I’m scared as fuck. I think I don’t know myself, I think I never did. But I must go on, I must find out who I really am. I owe it to myself. I’ve been hiding for too long.

I was an abused child, and I have to write it down because my mind keeps escaping that. It’s hard to stay focused, and that never happens to me, I’m a writer, when I write I’m concentrated, focused, but now... now it seems like my brain’s floating away. And I can’t let it do it.

My parents divorced when I was two or three years old, I’m not sure about it. I clearly remember the day my father went away, the door slamming, my mom crying and myself trying to reassure her, telling her I was there, she had notHing to worry about. I was always way older than my age.

After that, I guess (my memories are a bit confused in the timeline), my grandmother (so I was told) convinced my father to build a wall during the night in the middle of our house to split it in two. I remember waking up and finding this rough, grey wall. My mom lied and told me there had been a earthquake and that the wall fell down. I didn’t know how a collapsed wall would look like, and believed her. My father left us without a kitchen. As I said, I was two or three years old. Thinking about it now, it hurts me to think of how hard it must have been for my mother to face all of this. My father used to beat her, when they were together. She told me that he broke her cranium, once. I cant remember it, I don’t even know if I ever witnessed when it happened. But still.

Later, my mother fell in love with the man who became my step-father. He was our neighbor, they worked together so they already knew each other.

My father disappeared for two years. I spent one year living with my grandparents in another city, because my mother worked and wasn’t home for days, so che couldn’t leave me alone all that time. I remember missing her, and nothing more.

Then, I remember growing up with my mother’s partner trying to be a father. He couldn’t. He was mean to me. His idea of education was based on yells and threats. He continuously told me that I wasn’t his daughter, that I was nothing, that I was worth nothing.

I also remember that I wanted to be hurt. I wanted to hurt myself and, in my fantasies, when I played alone in my room or in the garden, I imagined my “enemies” kidnapping me and me sacrificing to save my friends. That thing lasted. I would always want to sacrifice to save someone I cared about, but who didn’t care about me as much as I did. I still have to understand why. I just need some time, I guess. After all, I just found out I have wounds.

We moved. My father came back, at some point. He started sending the police at our new home, accusing my mother of child abuse, I guess, and trying to claim me as if I was some kind of property. I guess I started feeling like an object when I spent my weekends and summer or winter vacations with him. He had the right to spend time with me, I didn’t have the right to choose. I don’t think he never treated me bad, he was simply unable to be a good father. He just left me with his friends’ children to play. I had fun with them, anyway. I always insisted to be the victim in our playtime, though. Something bad would always happen to my character. I often played the villain (they were happy with it, none ever wanted to be the villain but me), but my villain always had a reason, a past, a complicated story that led them to the dark side.

I guess I was never really happy. There was always this shadow, this weight on my soul. I still can’t name it. I only know it’s there, but it’s lighter today. Maybe because I see it for the first time.

When I went to middle school, I was depressed. I kept saying “we’ll die anyway, what changes if I do or I don’t do this?”. I also developed a passion for swords and daggers. I always read a lot, especially fantasy books, so I guess it was just natural that I started loving blade weapons.

I also felt guilty for continuously feeling sad. I thought I didn’t really have a reason. My family had money, I went to holiday four times per year instead than just twice, everything I asked they would just buy it to me. But my stepfather would always rub it in. He made me feel like I owed him everything I had, because he was the one who paid the bills. He is an alcoholic. He freaks out every time he gets drunk, and he starts drinking at ten a.m.. He would walk naked at home. I was way too young to see a naked man when it happened the first time. He also spied on me when I was in my room, so I was always anxious that he was watching me and could never relax.

I wasn’t good at school, I only liked mathematics but was terrible at all the rest. I just couldn’t concentrate, and now I know that I had locked myself in my fantasies, in another world, where I was strong, powerful, where I was happy. No, no, sorry. I’m lying to myself again. It didn’t go this way, actually. I locked myself in another world, it’s true, but that world was horrible. I was becoming a teenager and I started watching Buffy, so I was pretty obsessed by vampires at the time, and also I was starting to realize what sexual desire is. The thing is, in my fantasy I was powerful, yes, I was strong, but I was always defeated. I would get captured by this beautiful vampire woman who would torture me to death and then turn me into something different, with magic. I would become her sexual slave. I fell in love with her, in my mind, and I would submit to her. It’s embarrassing to admit it, yeah, it sucks, it’s rape, torture and Stockholm syndrome. But that’s the truth. As I said, I wanted to be hurt.

Also, despite this I never admitted to myself I liked girls. I didn’t even consider it as a possibility, I told myself I was in love with Angel (surprise, with the bad guy trying to redeem himself! Who would have thought that?).

At the same time, my mom got a bad self-immune disease and lost her job. Also, in the same years, one of the teacher at school started targeting me. I was shy and insecure and she would take advantage of it and humiliate me in front of everyone. She seriously damaged me, my self-confidence (as if I had any), and my stepfather made it only worse. I got bad grades from her (even when I was prepared I was so anxious that I couldn’t speak when she questioned me) and he got angry and yelled at me that I was stupid, that I was unable to do anything, that I was an imbecile and that I was worth nothing. Once he threw a school book at me and broke my lip.

My mother tried to comfort me, but I always hid what I was feeling. I was really, really depressed. So much that one day I grabbed one of my collectible daggers and aimed it at my stomach, and I pushed. I wanted to die. I wanted it to end. And I wanted a slow, painful death.

But I stopped. I didn’t even get a scratch, not because I changed my mind, not because I couldn’t find the “bravery” to kill myself, but because I didn’t want to hurt my mom. I knew she would be devastated if I died, and that is the only reason why I didn’t push harder. She still doesn’t know about all of this.

I guess I made myself a promise, that day: I’d be stronger. And it was a mistake, because I locked the doors of my heart doing so.

Years passed by. I learned Kung-Fu, I made some friends, just a few, lost others, this is not the point. They didn’t abuse me.

I started dating guys. Older boys, usually, and I convinced myself I was in love with them. One touched me without asking my permission, and I didn’t stop him. I was so stupid... gah. I wanted people to like me so much that I pretended to be like them. I told them I liked music I didn’t like, stuff like that. Silly, silly young me. I was lost and I didn’t know it.

Other years, more boys. I’m pretty, and I know it, and I used it to flirt with basically any guy I found. Shame on me, I know. I only kissed them. After all, I wasn’t even attracted by them. I liked girls, even if I didn’t want to accept it. I was already different, I didn’t want to be even more isolated.

I also spent a lot of time online chatting and gaming. I used to play to this online role play game by chat, I had found the perfect, fake, fantasy world there. My first character was an elf with positive alignment. I stopped playing her because she bored me. My second character was a sociopathic girl, a sadistic villain. I still have that character, even though I don’t play her anymore. I made her torture and try to kill innocent people several times. She was my dark side. I used her to take out my darkest instincts. I’m ashamed of who I was, now. I became a bully for a couple of years, a dangerous person, a mean person. I hate myself for that.

I was in high school and I was a little more equilibrated when this guy I knew since first grade asked me out. I knew he liked me since then, so I thought I had power on him (because that’s why I flirted with guys, I liked the power I had on them). He took me on his minicar and we found ourself in an isolated parking lot. He was never a healthy person. He was unstable since he was a kid, but he had always been kind with me. He was kind and pleasing even that night. And manipulative. And abusive. He used my ever-present sense of guilt, he told me I had to because he took me in his car and drove for me and waited all of those years, and he insisted for maybe half an hour until I gave in (I couldn’t leave the car, we were in a dangerous block and far from home). I had my first and only oral sex experience with a boy. It disgusted me so I stopped after like three seconds, but he forced me to masturbate him, he phisically did pushing my hand on his d*ck. When he came, he also said I wasn’t good at it. He then offered to give back the favour, I refused and asked him to take me home. Two day later I texted him saying it was over. God, this was hard to write. My heart is pumping in my chest. I need some water.

By the way, I was eighteen then and I still hadn’t had sex yet, and I was the only one in my class and between my friends in general. About them, I lost them all along the way. They simply let me down, not repaying everything I did or gave to them in terms of affection, or treating me like shit when I came out, or just disappearing slowly. I have trust issues for this, it’s hard for me to open up to someone now, but I’m trying.

I found this boy at a party, at that point I felt nothing, I was just curious about sex. We started dating. I didn’t like him, I approached him just because I thought his ass looked good. Yeah, how romantic of me. But, as I said, I felt nothing. I didn’t care about him. He fell in love with me, even though I told him many rimes I didn’t love him. I felt nothing for him, or with him, even in bed. Sex was a delusion to me, and I treated him like shit. But still, he would stay. Poor guy.

During those years (yes, we spent four years together somehow), I finally realized I liked girls. Fate brought me to a convention, where I met the love of my life. I ended the relationship with the boy and started my new life with her.

She changed me, a lot. I was a mess when we met. I was rough, selfish, the bad girl I always wanted to be, unable to love, to have a healthy relationship, unable to find the strenght to be vulnerable. She was patient with that broken, confused me, and I’ll never thank her enough for this. I don’t deserve her. She always supports me and shows me how much she loves me everyday. I’m so grateful for her.

I learned to be humble, I learned to be vulnerable, selfless, a decent humang being. I learned to love. I learned to protect her, not (only) myself. I dismantled almost all of my walls. I don’t know if this one I’m tearing down right now is the last one. I do hope so. I’m so tired of those cold walls. Today, I don’t want all these swords and daggers. I don’t need them anymore.

I wish I was strong as Catra and Adora, strong enough to face myself and let myself be happy. Thank you, Noelle, really. I always believed in the power of stories, but I never thought an animated show could give me so much, that I could relate so much to someone (let alone the importance of their relationship on screen for the LGBTQ+ community, it’s a true revolution). I was attracted to Catra since the beginning, I completely fell in love with her during the fifth season, and now I understand the reasons behind it. I just feel her, deeply. And I also deeply admire Adora, her pure soul, her strenght, her bright heart.

Sorry for the long post, sorry if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language. Thank you again.

[my18thcenturysource]

What do you think of the 18th century costumes from buffs the vampire slayer and angel the series?

——————

I had forgotten entirely of such episode from Angel!!

Wow. Thank you @luluthecatprincess​ so I had to go and watch it first. LOL. Sorry for the late response.

First, let’s remember that both series are from the late 90s and early 2000s and well, that might get whacky sometimes BUT in this case, in general it’s such a nice result! You go, Angel costume team!

BTW this is “The Prodigal”, Season 1, Episode 15, of Angel (aired on 2000), but the same outfits appear in other Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel episodes in short flashbacks. I think this is the first time they properly appear in Angel.

The flashbacks on the episode are supposed to be set in Galway, Ireland, in 1753, so I’ll be using the 1750s and late 1740s as the style references for these costumes, and I divided the costumes by character and outfit. Here we go.

THE MAID

Along with the time and place, we see the maid of Liam’s (a.k.a. Angel) home:

She does not look bad, except for the cap. That cap is hideous. A cap is clearly needed for a maid to keep her hair in place, but this one is seriously ugly. I’m not sure if it’s the artificially white material (which is always a sign of polyester or other artificial fiber fabric), or the fit. Other than the cap, the only other detail I find hard to imagine a maid would wear in a normal work day is the size of the sleeve ruffles, which are deeply not practical, and a bad idea to wear while going to well for water. We know that maids might get their mistress’ old dresses, but it is definitely not practical. BUT I think I see the visual reference used for this outfit (up to the ribbon lacing front):

“Mademoiselle Louise Jacquet”, 1748-1752, Jean-Étienne Liotard.

LIAM / ANGEL

He wears five 18th century outfits during this episode, that I have named: the yellow waistcoat outfit, the green outfit, the pink waistcoat, the funeral outfit, and the vampire outfit.

The Yellow Waistcoat Outfit

This is what we first see him wearing while he’s with the maid. I’m going to completely ignore his hair, because it is not done, but generally looks like a nice length to be done in curls at the sides of the head and a pony tail in the back with a bow or black silk bag (later we see he’s got a loose pony tail). I mean, he’s hungover, but those hairstyles were supposed to be worn FOR DAYS, so I’ll just pretend that he has not had his hair styled for quite a long while.

The shirt does not look bad, it has frills attached to the front vent like it should, and not in a horrible and inaccurate cravat, so thankyouverymuch. The waistcoat does not look bad, the colour and the embroidery are right, just as the shape and round neckline (even here is worn open). This tell us that Liam is quite a wealthy young man… or his father is. Here a waistcoat (front and back) to be seen as comparison:

Man’s Waistcoat, France, ca. 1750, LACMA

Now, the garments look rather good, but there’s something wrong and I cannot put my finger on it (other than the long shirt worn completely out, even though we know that it was long because it was used as underwear, and I get that it is used as a parallel of a modern drunk man with his shirt worn out of his trousers, so I’ll ignore that). It seems that this outfit fits wrong. His second outfit has a coat and it also looks odd, but his last outfit looks really good.

I’m not sure if it’s because David Boreanaz seems to be HUGE and all these garments seems too short and too narrow for him (but he’s like 1.85 m and that’s not freakishly tall, just tall). BUT it might just be that since all is worn in disarrange, and when we see the back of the waistcoat it looks tiny on this back:

Or maybe, this guy is just huge.

The Green Outfit

Excuse my poor screencaps, but this was the only one I got to make with the full outfit XD

The fit also seems odd. Unlike other garments on the episode, this seems to have been made for the episode: the fabric has a weird shine and seems almost like upholstery fabric, the buttons are sadly small, and the fit on the actor’s shoulders is definitely not right for the 18th century, but especially, it is not made like  other coats in the episode (like the PERFECT ones Liam’s father wears). His shoulders are too straight like in modern tailoring, but the rest of the coat seems too big for him, which only makes me think of the late 90s fit in men’s tailoring.

Here for comparison from later in the episode, is Angel in “the present” (1999-2000), and look at the silhouette of his trench coat:

And now look at the green coat:

The cravat is tied in a simple way but I still don’t know why hasn’t he dressed his hair! Man, get your shit together!

Pink Waistcoat Outfit

The first photo of the submitted post is this same waistcoat from another view. In pink brocade with gold decorations, this waistcoat has an odd front curve and buttons on both sides… like, how is he even supposed to button that down?

Also, suddenly he’s got perfect square sideburns that we had never seen before, and that might be the envy of Mr Darcy himself. This is a weird outfit.

The Funeral Outfit

SPOILER (is a 20 year old spoiler a real spoiler?) he dies to become a vampire. So here, we see his funeral and then later that night, his rise from the death. For this important event in a vampires life (idk, I guess?), he wears a black or brown suit. I don’t know because it seems black and the light changes and it seems brown.

But first, let me get this out of my chest: he died AND NO ONE DECIDED TO FIX HIS HAIR FOR HIS OWN FUNERAL?! DAAAAAAAMN! Yes, I’m OBSESSED with his lack of hairstyling. I could have been SO good! But well, what is done, is done.

Now, he’s got a nice cravat with lace tips, a coat with big cuffs in a fabric that seems to be of satin stripes (oddly, it was chosen to cut the stripes horizontally), nice laces cuffs for his shirt and a general better fit than the one of the green coat.

The Vampire Outfit

Finally, we see Liam paying a visit to his father (and killing everyone in the process). Finally his hair is not a mess, but still not in a good mid 18th century style. Just a total fail this guy’s hair. Anyway, he’s wearing a dark green velvet suit with a stripped waistcoat. The coat has cuffs (and a weird piece on the back) in the same fabric as the waistcoat. I think this is the best suit in fit, but he best suit overall in the funeral one.

On this suit we see the back (seeing that weird contrast piece), and also see the volume of the skirt of the coat that gives it its name of frock coat. The buttons are metallic and simple. He wears a (too big to not look hideous) black brooch on the cravat. Just. Why.

Somebody explain to me wtf in this on his back:

THE FATHER

Oh. My. God.

I don’t know where did they rented his outfits from BUT he’s the best dressed character of the episode. Period. All his outfits are perfect: the roundness of the shoulders, the fabrics, the sober colours, the perfectly styled hair, the tricorn hat. Everything is right. Perfect.

Which makes me think, that all costumes were rented and they only made the ones David Boreanaz wore, so maybe they couldn’t find anything great that fitted him. I have to say that they worked them well (not perfectly), so they work.

Now, here the outfits worn by Liam’s father with no real comment because all are great:

The green coat at the beginning of the episode (it even looks like wool! Look at his lace cravat! AND HIS HAIR!):

The dark red suit with the pink waistcoat:

You can even see the volume of the wide skirt of the coat!

The funeral suit, all black with gold decoration:

look at his cravat! But ignore the girl’s hair, everything is wrong there:

And finally, the death outfit (spoiler! he dies!), he’s at home at night and he’s not wearing a coat, so we see him in dark brown breeches, pink (?) waistcoat, shirt with lace and no cravat. And guess what? HIS HAIR IS DONE.

Anyway, this man just escaped from a mid 18th century portrait:

“William Axtell”, ca. 1749-52, John Wollaston, Metropolitan Museum of Art.

DARLA

First of all: what kind of name is Darla, and what the hell was she thinking when decided that Angelus would be new Liam’s name? It only makes me think of evening prayer. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.

During this episode she wears three clearly different dressed:

Robe à l’anglaise with floral stomacher

When we first see her, she’s at the pub wanting to eat Liam up, we only see her earrings and the wide necklace with shiny embroidery:

Then we see her out on the street, when she sires Liam. we see that she’s wearing yellow? green? a robe à l’anglaise with an embroidered stomacher:

Grey gown with sash

After Liam’s funeral, she goes to meet him at the cemetery. She wears a silver/grey gown with long sleeves, pink stomacher, and a decorative pink sash. Over it she wears a cape, perfect for going out in the night rising the dead, and her accessory is a ruffle choker/necklace with a ribbon. Because of the cape, we do not see the full volume of the skirt, but I seem to see that it is like the others. Anyway, this particular style seems more suited for a later decade in the 18th century.

We don’t see this dress’ back, so I don’t know for sure if it’s a robe à la française or à l’anglaise, but I tend to think that the latter.

Gold robe à la anglaise

Finally, when Liam/Angelus kills his family, we see her in this other robe à l’anglaise with gold decoration and stomacher.

She’s clearly supposed to be easy to find with the eyes, therefore she wears light colours with some kind of shine in them. The silhouettes are pretty good, as the sleeves, decorations and laces. I like that her key accessory seems to be a wide choker/necklace.

Now, with all these good stuff, I don’t know why her hair is closer to the 1760s and 70s than to the 1750s, like we can see in this examples from my hairstyle timeline:

The 1750s did not have much volume at the top of the head,

The 1760s saw the rise of the hair and the egg shape hairstyle (and look at the choker! it’s just like Darla’s!):

The 1770s gave wide curls a place in the increasingly complicated hairstyles:

And once more, we see that LIAM HAD NO GOOD HAIRSTYLE FOR ANY OF THE THREE DECADES.

SOME OTHER RANDOM COSTUMES I LIKED FROM THE EPISODE:

The maid in the pub, that only misses a jacket and that kind of looks like Christina Hendricks… and IS HER according to IMDB:

Everyone at the funeral:

The mom in black:

The mom dead :( or she’s just taking a nap :)

And my favourite is this particular boy with crazy hair (you go, Glen Coco! Rock that baroque look):

CONCLUSION

Unlike I expected, the costumes are pretty good. Accessories were kept simple and that always help a lot. The silhouettes were almost perfect, and the materials are not horrible. Their biggest misstep was the hair, with hairstyles of other periods (and from later from when it is set! If they were from before, there is not such a problem), wigs that look pretty artificial (like the mom’s wig), or no hairstyle at all (I’m looking at you, Angel).

So, it was a nice surprise to see that the period costume of a supernatural/fantasy/noir series from the early 2000s could serve its purpose in such a good way: it set easily the time and place, and the broad attitudes of the characters dressed. Since watching the first scene, even without the text, you could tell that they were in the mid 18th century, that Liam is a drunk, that his father is strict and respectable, and that Darla is a refined lady. So, mission accomplished.

[charliejrogers]

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

[ofstormsandwolves]

The Girlfriends

Buffy/Faith, Giles/Joyce, Willow, Xander

Modern AU, coming out, bisexual characters

Part of Sunnydale 2019 (full order on AO3)

Read on AO3

Buffy and Faith are now an item. But how exactly do they go about telling everybody else about this development? 

When Buffy and Faith had returned to Buffy’s birthday party hand in hand, nobody had said anything. Buffy was fairly certain she’d seen Giles suppressing a smirk, and she was quietly confident that her mom had caught a glance at their clasped hands, but then the movie had started and everyone had been distracted.

Now tucked away in her bed, her friends sent home, Buffy was grateful for that. The thing with Faith was new- as in, oh-my-god-this-just-happened new- and the last thing she had wanted was to be asked a lot of questions she wasn’t sure she knew the answer to.

She wished she’d had more time to actually talk about it with Faith, though. Not that Faith was really one for serious discussions. But it occurred to Buffy, lying awake in the dark of her room, that even though she and Faith had agreed to be girlfriends, they hadn’t agreed on who they would tell or when. Maybe she was over-thinking it; maybe there was no need for some grand announcement or awkward conversations.

With a sigh, Buffy leaned over and grabbed her phone from her nightstand. Maybe she should just text Faith...

Except Faith was probably asleep. It was nearly two in the morning. Faith probably wasn’t lying awake worrying about how they would tell Xander and Willow they were dating, Faith probably wasn’t worried about coming out to Gwen in the way Buffy was worried about coming out to her mom.

Because she had to do that, right? She had to tell her mom that she was dating Faith. She’d already spilled her feelings about Faith to Giles, and he’d seemed cool with it. But it was one thing to think you had a crush on someone, and an entirely different thing to date someone. How was she supposed to go about it? What was she supposed to do? Was there, like, a manual or something?

Now wide awake, Buffy sat up in bed and started tapping away at her phone. Just a quick text to Faith, and if she answered then that was great. If not, it wasn’t a big deal, right?

Hey, you awake? B xx

Message sent, Buffy swallowed. It really wasn’t a big deal, was it? Why was this any different to any of the boys she’d dated? Ok, so really the only serious boyfriend she’d had was Tyler, and she hadn’t even introduced him to her parents, and he’d got her kicked out of school, and arrested, and...

Hey B, what’s up?

Buffy let out a breath as Faith’s message appeared on her phone. Taking another breath and trying to calm her racing pulse and mind, she set about typing out another message.

Couldn’t sleep. Thinking about how I’m supposed to tell Mom about us.

She paused.

We have to tell Willow and Xander too.

Texts sent, Buffy sat in the dark and waited. Barely thirty seconds went by before her phone rang.

“Hey, B,” Faith said when Buffy answered the call. “You sounded like you’re freaking out. Are... Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Buffy answered quickly, trying to ignore the way her voice shook a little. “It’s fine. I’m overreacting.”

There was a muffled noise on Faith’s end of the line, followed by Faith swearing under her breath. Buffy frowned.

“Faith?”

“I’m coming over,” Faith said. “Shit- Just let me get dressed, ok?”

“Faith, it’s fine,” Buffy protested, listening as Faith apparently pulled clothes on. “Like I said, I was just overreacting. You don’t need to-”

“I’m coming over,” Faith interrupted, and it was clear that Buffy couldn’t change her mind. There was a pause. “Unless... B, you know we don’t have to do this, right?”

Faith’s voice was soft, almost vulnerable, and something about it made Buffy’s heart break just a little.

“No! No, I want to!” Buffy insisted loudly, before catching herself and lowering her voice. “I just... This is a lot, you know? It’s all new to me. I had a few boyfriends back in Los Angeles, but no girlfriends. I don’t exactly know how to explain this to Mom, or how she’s going to react.” She paused, frowned. “It’s scary, you know? This... Whatever this is between us, it feels pretty serious to me, and I’m just wigging a little.”

There was a long silence then, and for one heart-stopping moment Buffy feared she’d said too much, that she’d scared Faith away. Maybe Faith didn’t want serious. They hadn’t discussed it, hadn’t discussed anything beyond dating...

“I know, B,” Faith’s soft voice broke through Buffy’s thoughts. “I’m scared too.”

And suddenly, hearing Faith admit that she was just as freaked as Buffy, everything didn’t seem quite so scary.

“Good,” Buffy joked nervously. “Then we’re in the same boat.”

Faith gave a laugh on the other end of the line. “Exactly, babe. Look, I’ll be at your window in ten minutes. You wanna stay on the line?”

“Do you mind?” Buffy countered, wrinkling her nose.

“No,” came Faith’s honest reply. “So, you given any thought as to when you wanna tell the others? You must have been thinking about it if it kept you awake.”

Buffy shrugged even though she knew Faith couldn’t see her. “Not really. I mean, all I’ve figured out is that we have to tell them. And we should probably do it soon, you know. I mean, not immediately. But if we wait too long they’ll think we’re keeping it from them deliberately, and that we don’t trust them or something.”

Faith let out a small noise of agreement on the other end of the line. “I’m not fussed, you know. About when we tell them. I’d rather it’s not right away, I want a little time just us two before Xander starts glaring at me for stealing you away.”

“Why would Xander glare at you?” Buffy asked with a small frown. “I mean, I know he kind of had a crush on me when we first met, but I figured he was over it...”

“B,” Faith chuckled, “you really have no idea how difficult it is to get over you, do you?”

“And you do?” Buffy countered.

“Eh,” Faith responded, and Buffy imagined her shrugging, “I considered it. I wasn’t sure you even liked girls, and I wasn’t gonna spend my time pining after you. But thankfully I don’t need to get over you.” There was a pause. “I just need to get on top of you.”

Buffy groaned at that, shaking her head as Faith laughed. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

“Fine,” Faith sniggered. “But it’s not going to stop me from saying it again.”

Rolling her eyes, Buffy tried to steer the conversation back to the topic they were meant to be discussing. “Do you have any idea what you’re going to tell Gwen?”

“That we’re dating,” Faith answered seriously. “If she’s got a problem with that, it’s not my concern.”

Faith said it calmly enough, but something about her tone made Buffy’s skin prickle.

“What if it is your concern, though?” Buffy asked. “What if she kicks you out, or something?”

“It’s 2019, B.”

“So? Faith, just because it’s 2019 doesn’t mean Gwen won’t kick you out.”

“Gwen may be strict but she’s not an ass. Besides, I haven’t exactly hidden the fact I like girls from her.” There was a pause then, before Faith continued. “I mean, I haven’t exactly admitted it to her either, but I certainly haven’t lied about it.”

Buffy had nothing to say to that.

“So I’m guessing your worried about what you’re gonna tell your mom?” On the other end of the line, Faith side. “Buffy, I’m sure it will be fine. Your mom’s cool. So’s Giles.” There was a pause. “Why are you nervous about telling your mom but not G-man?”

Buffy felt her cheeks flush a little at that. “Uh, well I might have mentioned to Giles that I like you.”

Faith gave a surprised laugh at that. “Really? When?”

“On the way to the Icecapades,” Buffy admitted. “I told him I thought I wanted to date you.”

“And what did he say?” Faith prompted.

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “Do you really want to know?”

“Hell yeah!”

Buffy sighed and settled back against her pillows. “Fine.”

 It had taken a little longer than hoped to find a parking space, and by the time they were showing their tickets to get into the Icecapades Buffy thought she might burst from nervousness.

“We have some time before we have to find our seats,” Giles said, steering her towards some seats in the foyer. “Did you want some ice cream, or would you rather save room for cotton candy?”

“I’m not sure I can eat,” Buffy admitted with a grimace as she sat down. “I don’t know what to do, Giles!”

As her step-father sat down next to her, Buffy realised she couldn’t stop talking even if she wanted to.

“I mean, Faith was flirting with me this morning, and Willow said she’s like that with everybody, but it made my tummy feel all funny and I couldn’t concentrate in class, or during break time when we were all hanging out, because I just kept thinking about Faith.”

“Ah,” Giles said, nodding sagely.

“Ah?” Buffy echoed with a frown.

“Indeed,” Giles replied. He let out a sigh and gave her a sad smile. “I hate to say it, but I think you’re growing up. You’re not that little eleven year old I was so terrified of meeting, and you’re not even that determined fourteen year old we saw off on the first day of high school.” He looked a little wistful then. “I do wish you’d stop growing up.”

“Me too, if it feels like this,” Buffy told him glumly. Then she frowned. “Wait, you were terrified of meeting me?”

“Oh, completely.” Giles laughed. “I’d heard so much about you from your mother, and I remember being rather quite excited to meet you right up until the moment your mother suggested it during our sixth date. Apparently, you were demanding to meet me.”

Buffy smiled a little at that. “I was,” she admitted. “Mom had gone on all these dates with you, and she seemed so happy, and I hadn’t even met you. I remember insisting that I had to check you out to see if you were good enough for her.”

“And am I?” Giles asked.

Buffy grinned. “Definitely.”

Giles grinned back, but after a few moments he grew serious. “I wish I could tell you exactly what to do, how to deal with this situation, but the truth is Buffy that there’s no manual. I was probably just as nervous about asking your mother out as you are about asking Faith.”

Buffy swallowed. “So you think I should ask Faith out? On a date?”

“If you like. I can’t tell you what the right answer is, I’m afraid. And I can’t promise that you’ll get the answer you want.” At Buffy’s dejected look, he pressed on. “But if you don’t ask Faith out, you won’t know.”

“And if it goes wrong?” Buffy questioned.

Giles smiled, and reached out to squeeze her hand. “Then I’ll run to the shop and buy as much ice cream as you need, and we can watch whatever awful teenage film you want to watch.”

“I’ll hold you to that, you know,” she told him seriously.

Giles got to his feet then, as people were starting to head for their seats. “I daresay you will.”

 “Ok, so Giles definitely knows about us,” Faith said when Buffy finished explaining the conversation she and Giles had had.

“Huh?” Buffy asked. “Why do you say that? He might not.”

“B, he kept glancing over at us all night. I thought it was weird, but I’m guessing he figured out that we’re dating now.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, and she felt a weight lift from her shoulders slightly. “Maybe that means Mom won’t be so bad. I mean, if Giles already knows...”

“Yeah,” Faith agreed. “Look, I’m gonna have to hang up, I’m about to climb up to your window.”

The line went dead and Buffy climbed out of bed to cross to the window. Sure enough, Faith was just as hauling herself up onto the roof as Buffy slid the window open.

“You really didn’t have to come, you know,” Buffy said as she stepped back to let Faith clamber through the open window.

“I wanted to,” Faith countered as she hopped into Buffy’s room. “Besides, it means I get to do this.”

She gently tugged Buffy closer, one hand on her waist and the other on her cheek, and drew the blonde in for a kiss. When they parted, Faith was grinning and Buffy was blushing.

“Well, when you put it that way...” Buffy joked quietly.

Faith smirked, and brushed a stray strand of hair behind Buffy’s hair. “You ok now? You’re not still freaking out?”

Buffy shook her head. “I don’t think so. I mean, I’m still a little nervous about talking to Mom, but if you’re right and Giles knows maybe it will make it easier.”

“Maybe she’s already noticed,” Faith suggested as Buffy slid the window shut again.

Window closed, Buffy drew Faith over to the bed. Faith pulled her shoes off and flopped onto the mattress.

“Maybe,” Buffy said, not sounding convinced. “It’s just a little weird. I never really stopped to think about whether I like girls. I was always too busy going after the boys.”

“Let me guess,” Faith smirked, “you used to date footballers?”

Buffy flushed again and sat down on the bed. “I guess.”

“You want me to steal a football jersey from the school?” Faith asked with a waggle of her eyebrows. “I bet I could.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “No. If you’re stealing them from school they probably haven’t been washed for ages.”

Faith considered that for a moment, before wrinkling her nose too. “Good point.” She pushed herself into a sitting position. “You feeling better now?”

Buffy smiled. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Faith smiled back. “No problem, babe. It’s what I’m here for.” She looked around then, brow furrowing. “So, what are we doing about the sleeping arrangements? Because I’m not really feeling the whole ‘sneak back to mine again’ thing.” To emphasise her point she let out a large yawn.

“Uh, I hadn’t thought of that,” Buffy admitted, embarrassed.

“Hey, no sweat,” Faith said, holding her hands up. “I’m happy to take the floor.”

She started moving off the bed, but Buffy shook her head quickly.

“It’s fine. We can share the bed. Just... Maybe we should try and stick to our own sides?” Once again, Buffy flushed. “I’ve... I’ve never exactly shared a bed with someone before. Someone I’m dating, I mean. Mom and Giles kind of had a ‘no boys in the bedroom’ rule back in L.A.”

There was a cheeky look in Faith’s eye. “Well, we’re still not breaking that rule.” She looked around pointedly. “I’m not seeing any boys here, B. Not unless you’re hiding one somewhere.”

Shaking her head, the blonde got to her feet. “You know what I mean, Faith.”

Watching Buffy cross to the closet, Faith nodded. “Yeah, I do. And it’s no problem. I, uh, I’ve not exactly done this before either. You know what Gwen’s like.”

The blonde said nothing, and instead rifled through her closet for a few moments. Then she pulled out a hanger and tossed the item hanging on it to Faith.

“What’s this for?”

“To sleep in,” Buffy told her as she put the hanger back in the closet. “You can’t sleep in your clothes, Faith.”

Faith wrinkled her nose at the shirt Buffy had tossed to her. “But I can’t wear this, B!”

“I don’t think I have anything else. All my stuff will be too small for you.”

“But I can’t wear a Rams shirt!”

At that, Buffy arched an eyebrow. “And what’s wrong with the Rams?”

Faith’s eyes were wide. “They’re the Rams, B. I’m a Patriots girl and you know it!”

But Buffy simply shook her head and crossed back to the bed. “Nobody’s going to see you, Faith.”

As Buffy settled herself back in bed, Faith grumbled to herself and began to undress. While the younger girl got changed, Buffy made a point of staring straight up at the ceiling. When she’d got the football jersey out for Faith to wear, it hadn’t occurred to her that Faith would get changed in front of her. Of course it made more sense than risking a dash across the hall to the bathroom, as it meant there was less chance her parents would wake up. But still, she couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that she hadn’t thought about the whole ‘getting changed’ situation.

“Geez, B, this shirt must drown you.”

Risking a glance, Buffy saw that the other girl was dressed. The jersey fell to the tops of Faith’s thighs, and while it wasn’t loose it also wasn’t tight. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable for Faith to sleep in.

“My dad sent it for me,” Buffy admitted as Faith drew back the covers and climbed into bed. “It was a Christmas present. I’m guessing he hasn’t seen me for so long he’s forgotten how small I am.”

Her tone was clearly aiming for humour, but it missed spectacularly.

“I know I’ve told you before, but your dad sucks.”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed quietly. “Faith?”

Faith made a small noise in the dark then.

“Thanks for coming over tonight.”

“No problem, B.” Faith pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Go to sleep.”

 When they awoke hours later, it was to the sound of the phone ringing downstairs.

“Wha’ time is it?” Faith grumbled, face half-smushed into a pillow.

Reluctantly, Buffy pulled one arm from the warm cocoon of the covers to grab at her phone. “A little past half nine,” she said with a yawn.

“Ugh,” came Faith’s reply.

They were just settling back down to sleep when hurried footsteps sounded on the stairs, and the sound of Giles calling Buffy’s name filled the air. Too tired to fully process what was going on, Faith and Buffy had barely pushed themselves into a sitting position before the door opened.

“Buffy, Gwen’s on the phone-” Giles trailed off abruptly as he took note of the two girls in the bed, of their mussed hair and Faith’s borrowed pyjamas. Still blinking, he lifted the phone to his ear. “Gwen? Yes, it seems Faith is here. We’ll give her some breakfast and send her home.” Ending the call, Giles surveyed the girls again for a moment. “The pair of you should probably get dressed,” he told them. “And maybe give some thought to what you’re going to tell Joyce and Gwen?”

With a slightly amused smile, he left the room then, closing the door behind him.

“Well,” Faith said, “if he didn’t know before, he does now.”

 Joyce was more than a little confused when Faith followed Buffy down for breakfast. She gave Giles a look, and he gave her one back, and Faith watched the whole thing in amusement. Apparently he hadn’t bothered to inform Joyce of the extra person for Sunday breakfast. Buffy reached out to grasp Faith’s hand in hers, and squeezed it tight. Faith squeezed back.

“Mom,” Buffy said suddenly, “we need to talk.”

“Sounds serious,” Joyce joked, taking a sip of coffee.

When Buffy didn’t say anything, Joyce frowned, and looked to Giles. He simply raised an eyebrow at her, and Joyce returned her attention to her daughter.

“Honey, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Faith squeezed Buffy’s hand again. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.

“Uh, I- I don’t...” Buffy stuttered, brow furrowing in confusion. This time it was Buffy who looked to Giles, and he gave her an encouraging smile in return. Buffy took a breath. “Me and Faith are dating.”

Joyce blinked, and surveyed the two teenagers in front of her. “Ok,” she said after a few moments. “And when did this happen?”

“Yesterday,” Buffy admitted.

Joyce nodded slowly. “And is that why Faith spent the night?”

Buffy winced. “Kind of?” she said. “But not exactly. I mean, she did go home, Mom.”

“And then she snuck back here,” Joyce stated, and she sounded part annoyed and part amused.

The nervous look on Buffy’s face prompted Faith to speak up quickly. “I only came back because Buffy text me. She was totally freaking out about how we were going to tell everyone we’re dating, so I phoned her up and she sounded really freaked, so I came over.”

The annoyance in Joyce’s eyes faded then, and she glanced to Giles before speaking again. “Honey, you should have come and spoken to us.” She stood up from the island then, and held her arms out.

Buffy let go of Faith’s hand and eagerly fell into her mother’s comforting embrace. After a few moments, she pulled away, and Joyce studied the two teens carefully.

“You’re both happy, yes?” she asked.

“Hell yeah,” Faith said as Buffy nodded eagerly.

Joyce smiled. “Then that’s all I can ask.” She moved to the fridge. “What do the pair of you want for breakfast?”

 Forty minutes later, Buffy and Faith left the house to walk Faith home. Joyce watched them go and the moment they were out of sight, she turned to her husband.

“You knew,” she said, and her tone was more amused than annoyed.

“I had an idea,” he conceded with a smile.

“Since when?” Joyce countered.

“Well, if me finding Faith in Buffy’s bed when I took the phone up wasn’t enough of a clue, I don’t know what is.” He smirked. “But in all seriousness, Buffy talked to me about asking Faith out when we were at the Icecapades the night before last.”

Joyce looked torn at that. “She did?”

Giles hummed in agreement. “She did.” He studied his wife carefully. “I’m sorry she didn’t talk to you about it, my dear.”

Joyce waved him off, but she still looked a little sad. Leaving the hallway and heading into the sitting room, she sank down on the sofa.

“She’s not a little girl anymore, is she?”

“No,” Giles agreed quietly, sitting beside her. “She’s not. I did tell her I wanted her to stop growing up, but I’m not sure there’s much we can do about it.”

A sad smile was on Joyce’s face then. “I’m glad she talked to you, Rupert. God knows Hank’s been a useless father these last few years. And clearly there are things Buffy doesn’t feel like she can talk to me about...”

“That’s not true,” Giles protested gently.

His wife fixed him with a look at that. “Rupert, Buffy was awake half the night worrying about how to tell me she was dating Faith. She was worried about how I’d react.”

“This relationship with Faith has taken Buffy by surprise just as much as anyone,” Giles pointed out calmly. “How about when she gets home, we sit down and have a talk with her? I think Buffy was just nervous overall, dear, not scared about you in particular. She’s never dated a girl before, and her last relationship didn’t exactly go down too well with us. It’s a lot for her to process.”

Joyce let out a sigh then, and nodded slowly.

“When she gets back,” she agreed. “We’ll talk.”

 “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Buffy asked as they came to a stop outside Faith’s house.

“Nah, I’m good.” Faith dismissed her girlfriend’s concerns with a shrug. “If it all goes to hell, I’ll come back to yours.”

Buffy didn’t look too reassured about that, and Faith nudged her down the sidewalk.

“It’s just... You were there for me when I told Mom about us,” Buffy said. “It makes me nervous that I won’t be there for you.”

Faith shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s not a big deal, B. Look, I’ll text you as soon as Gwen and I are done talking, yeah? Now get home. I’m cool.”

With one final reluctant look, Buffy trudged off down the street. Faith sniffed and knocked on the door. She’d have let herself in, but in her haste to get to Buffy the night before she’d forgotten her keys.

When the door swung open, she was greeted by a rather unimpressed Gwen Post.

“Good sleepover?” Gwen asked, sounding irritated.

“Oh, the best,” Faith drawled as she stepped inside. “We plaited each other’s hair, and we painted each other’s nails, and we told spooky stories. It was wild.”

Gwen shut the door hard, and fixed Faith with a look. “Do I need to remind you that you can’t go sneaking around town at all hours? I woke up and you were gone, Faith. Anything could have happened to you.”

Faith sighed. “I’m sorry, ok. And I’ll explain everything. But there’s something I need to tell you first.”

Gwen folded her arms and arched an eyebrow.

“You, uh, might want to sit down first,” Faith suggested, gesturing towards the sitting room.

Gwen didn’t move. Faith rolled her eyes.

“Or the foyer’s fine,” she muttered before raising her voice. “Ok, so me and Buffy are dating now. We kissed last night at her birthday party, and we’ve decided we want to try dating, and Buffy text super early in the morning freaking out about how we’re meant to tell everyone. She’s only ever had boyfriends, and her last boyfriend got her kicked out of school, and she was super worried that Joyce and Giles would freak. I phoned her up and she sounded really panicky, and I was scared she was having a panic attack or something, so I went over to check on her. I kept her talking on the phone while I walked over, and we figured some stuff out about, like, telling Willow and Xander, but when I got there she was still super worried about her mom. So we talked for a bit, and by that point it was late, and I ended up crashing at her place.”

There was a heavy silence as Gwen just stared at her for several long moments.

“Do Rupert and Joyce know about you and Buffy?”

“Yeah,” Faith nodded. “Buffy told them at breakfast. Giles already kind of knew, though, because Buffy talked to him about it apparently.”

Gwen nodded slowly. “Alright. But I want to set some ground rules. I don’t want you sleeping over at Buffy’s or Buffy sleeping here on a school night. And if you are going to be staying at Buffy’s I expect at least a phone call so I know where you are. Also, I don’t want this relationship of yours to affect your school work. I know you and Buffy often do homework in the library with Xander and Willow, and I want you to actually do your homework. Am I clear?”

“Uh, yeah,” Faith said. She wasn’t sure what reaction she’d been expecting from Gwen, but it hadn’t been that. Ok, so the ground rules kind of sucked but they weren’t the end of the world. But Gwen’s acceptance of her and Buffy made Faith somehow feel so much lighter. Clearly she’d been more worried than she’d thought. “I’m, uh, gonna go shower.”

And as she hurried up the stairs, Faith pulled out her phone to text Buffy the good news.

 Buffy was nearly home when she received the text from Faith. Smiling as she saw that Gwen was apparently fine with the news, the last block home seemed to pass quickly. But as she let herself in to the house, she was greeted by her mother wearing an awkward smile that made Buffy pause.

“Hi, honey. Rupert and I were hoping to have a talk with you.”

Buffy was ushered through to the sitting room before she could really protest.

“W- What’s this about?” Buffy asked, as she saw Giles sitting on the sofa with what he obviously thought was a reassuring smile on his face.

“We just wanted to talk,” Joyce said, stepping round Buffy to sit on the sofa.

With a small frown, Buffy reluctantly perched on the arm of the armchair. “Is this about me and Faith?” she asked, a ball growing in the pit of her stomach. “Because you said you were alright with it-”

“We just wanted to talk to you,” Giles cut in gently. “Your mother and I want to be sure that you understand you don’t have to hide anything from us.” He glanced at Joyce before continuing. “We were concerned. Faith said that you’d, ah, freaked about telling everyone the pair of you were dating.”

Joyce nodded, looking rather nervous and pinch-faced. “Were you scared of telling me, sweetheart? Because you really didn’t have to be.” She sighed and shook her head. “I know the past year has been difficult, but I’ve never stopped loving you, Buffy. And I really do mean it when I say you can talk to me about anything.”

Buffy frowned. “Ok,” she said after a moment, still processing what her parents were saying. “But I guess I was more nervous about everyone’s reactions, rather than any specific person’s. Faith’s told Gwen now, and she seems fine with it, but we’ve still got to figure out how to tell Xan and Will. I just...” She trailed off, met her mom’s gaze with wide, worried eyes. “This feels so much bigger than it usually does, you know? Usually it’s just ‘this is my new boyfriend’ and that’s that. But everyone’s always sort of expected me to have boyfriends, so it was never really a surprise.”

Buffy was vaguely aware her parents were watching her with mildly concerned looks, was vaguely aware that she was starting to panic and she was starting to speak faster and faster. But it was like her brain had disengaged from her mouth; she wasn’t able to stop, even if she wanted to.

“A girlfriend, though, a girlfriend isn’t so expected for me, and it doesn’t just mean telling everyone I have a new girlfriend, it also means coming out to them. And I don’t even know what I’m coming out as! I mean, I still like boys, but I also like Faith, and I think I like other girls too but I don’t know!”

Suddenly there were arms around her, and Buffy realised that she’d closed her eyes. Opening them slowly, she was surprised to see her mother still sat on the sofa. Her eyes were damp and her expression sad, and Buffy frowned. Looking up, she saw the arms around her belonged instead to Giles. Still a little confused, she settled into her step-father’s embrace.

“It’s alright to not know, you know,” Giles said gently, and even though she couldn’t quite see his face Buffy could hear the soft smile in his voice. “And you don’t have to explain your decisions to date Faith to anyone. Understand? You don’t owe anyone an explanation, Buffy. Not if you don’t want to give them one.”

But that didn’t make sense. Buffy’s brow furrowed further, and she was about to question him when Joyce spoke up.

“Rupert’s right, honey,” she said, and a small smile was on her lips even though her eyes were still a little damp. “You don’t have to justify yours and Faith’s relationship to anybody. Not even us.” Joyce stood then, and Giles pulled away to let his wife slip in beside Buffy. “I’ll admit, I was a little worried earlier. I thought you’d been scared of my reaction to you and Faith being together. I’m glad you’d spoken to Rupert about it, but I couldn’t help but be a little concerned that you’d avoided me for a reason.”

Buffy shrugged then, a little embarrassed. “I didn’t know what to say,” she admitted quietly. “It just seemed easier to tell Giles, you know? I guess...” She paused, and glanced at Giles who had settled himself back on the sofa. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Giles, but I kind of felt like it wasn’t as big a deal if you freaked out. If I’d talked to Mom, and she’d freaked about the idea of me wanting to date a girl, it would have been huge. And it would have been huge if you’d freaked too, but in a different way...” Buffy shook her head, frustrated. “I don’t know how to explain it, but-”

“I’m your step-father, Buffy,” Giles interrupted softly, and Buffy was relieved to see that he didn’t look angry or upset. “If I’d disapproved of you asking Faith out, you could dismiss me as being only a step-parent. The rejection would have been a little easier to handle. But if your mother had had an issue, well...” He gave a soft smile. “I understand, Buffy. I do.”

“I’ve still got to tell Willow and Xander though,” Buffy sighed, brow furrowing again. “I don’t really know what to say.”

“Only tell them what you want to tell them, sweetheart,” Joyce said calmly. “And only tell them what they need to know. You and Faith are dating. They don’t need to know anything more unless you want to tell them.”

Buffy thought on that for a moment, before a small smile formed on her lips. “Thanks Mom.”

 “You sure about this, B?” Faith asked as they approached the school the next morning.

“No,” Buffy admitted, giving her girlfriend a look. “Are you? I know you said you didn’t want to tell them right away, and we could just wait-”

“It’s fine,” Faith interrupted. “Seriously, B. I’m five by five. It’s just... Weird, you know? I actually care about what they think.”

Buffy gave a sympathetic smile. “That’s the downside to having friends,” she agreed. “We really don’t have to do it today if you’re not sure.”

“Not sure about what?”

Both girls jumped at the sound of Xander’s voice, and they spun around to see Willow and Xander approaching them with looks of confusion.

“Uh, nothing,” Buffy lied, wide-eyed.

Willow frowned, her eyes landing instead on Buffy’s and Faith’s still-joined hands. “Why are you two holding hands?”

Suddenly faced with the actual task of telling her friends about the change in her dating life, Buffy felt herself completely freeze. Beside her, Faith had stiffened too, although perhaps not quite so much.

“Can’t a girl hold her friend’s hand without the twenty questions?” Faith asked then, clearly trying for nonchalance.

“I suppose,” Willow agreed, eyes on Buffy and a knowing glint in her eyes. “But it’s you two we’re talking about.”

Buffy’s brow furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Xander shrugged, a small grin on his face. “Just that you two don’t usually go around holding hands,” he said, as the four of them started walking towards the school. “So, something you’d like to share with the class?”

Faith and Buffy shared a look, each seeking reassurance from the other.

“We’re dating,” Faith said after a moment.  “Not that we have to explain that to you.”

But Willow and Xander just smiled at that, and Willow held out her hand.

“Pay up, Harris,” she said with a laugh. “I told you something was going on.”

As Xander grumbled and handed over a crumpled $10 bill, Buffy and Faith exchanged amused looks.

“You were betting on us?” Buffy couldn’t help but ask, not entirely sure what to make of that.

“Oh, sure,” Willow nodded as she tucked her winnings away in her bag. “I mean, there was all that stuff on Friday where you thought Faith was flirting with you and you got all red and distracted. And then at your birthday party on Saturday you two disappeared and then came back in all hand-hold-y and loved up.”

“And,” Xander added as they ascended the steps into the school building, “that’s not including all the flirty stuff that’s been going on since the pair of you met.”

“Xander,” Buffy protested half-heartedly, “Faith and I have not been flirting since we met.”

But as Willow and Xander gave Buffy a pointed look, Faith snorted.

“Speak for yourself, B. I was starting to run out of pick-up lines.”

Shaking her head at her girlfriend, Buffy instead turned her attention to her friends as they made their way towards their lockers. “So you’re ok with this?” she asked, a little nervous. “With me and Faith dating?”

“Well yeah,” Xander shrugged. “Why wouldn’t we be? As it much as it pains me to know you’re off the market, Buffster, you two are a good match. I’ll simply have to soldier on.”

“How brave,” Buffy told him wryly.

They’d reached their lockers then, and the quartet busied themselves with sorting out what they needed for their first class.

“I think it’s sweet,” Willow piped up as she piled books into her locker, “you and Faith together. And it’s not like we didn’t see it coming.”

“Ok, ok, we get the idea; we weren’t being subtle.” There was humour in Buffy’s voice, and a smile on her lips as she spoke, and Faith caught that and smiled back.

As the bell rang for the start of first period, and Buffy, Xander, and Willow started heading for their first class of the day. But as Buffy moved away from her locker, Faith caught her by the arm, pulling her closer.

“Faith,” Buffy protested mildly, “we have to get to class.”

“I know,” Faith assured her, a grin on her lips. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

Faith’s gaze was on Buffy’s lips, and Buffy’s gaze was on Faith’s lips, and they leaned towards each other instinctively. Everyone else seemed to fade away; the hustle and bustle of other students, Willow and Xander giggling as they watched them. The kiss was soft and still a little uncertain, but when the two girls parted, they wore matching grins.

“I’ll see you at break,” Buffy said softly.

“Yeah,” Faith agreed. “Break.”

And as Buffy followed Willow and Xander towards their classroom, she couldn’t resist one final glance back at her girlfriend’s retreating form. She couldn’t help but grin when she saw Faith had had the same idea.

Break really couldn’t come too soon.

[whatdoyouthinkmyjobis]

Hunters on the Hellmouth

masterlist

first chapter

previous chapter

AN: Inspired by events in BTVS 7.22 “Chosen.” Here’s a cheat sheet for keeping track of the Potentials.

Thank you for coming with me on this journey. If you think this story was worth five years of my life, please reblog any part of it (or every part of it).

Warning: Character death. Gore.

Chapter 43: Awake

Beautiful, Spike thought. No wonder she didn’t want to come back.

He felt warm and light, like he was floating in tropical waters. Beyond his closed lids, he could sense something bright, but he couldn’t will his eyes to open. He was happy. Peaceful. Heaven had to be even better than this; although, he didn’t expect to experience it. Hell was waiting, but it could wait another minute.

No. Spike tried to move. The soft warmth that embraced him held him tighter. It felt reassuring. He wanted to go back to sleep.

He had to get up. He had to go somewhere. Where?

Comfort gripped him. He was light. Floating. Guilt-free. Was this righteousness?

Spike groped around his mind for something solid. A feeling. A memory.

Where was Buffy? That had to be it, didn’t it? Spike tried to picture her face. Her downturned eyes alight with laughter.

His throat grew dry as he dwelled on her. His skin felt like it would crack. If he lost focus for one moment, he slipped back into warmth and security.

The sharp slope of her nose. The alluring angle of her neck. The lilac smell of her skin.

A cry of agony replaced his peace. If felt like a hot wind would tear his skin from bone if it didn’t cook him alive first. Everything felt unbearably hard.

With herculean effort, Spike opened his eyes. He fell to the ground, scraping his palms against the sidewalk, coughing as if he’d been buried in sand. Even the fading sun felt too bright.

Hello, said a voice in his head. I am relieved to see you.

“Me too, Feathers. You weren’t going easy on me, were you?”

No, I did my best to suppress you. We’ve been wandering around Sunnydale for hours.

Hours? He had to get faster at breaking through. Hours was long enough to lose everything.

Spike, we’re not alone.

Spike could feel it behind him. He got up slowly and turned to see a Bringer -- an eyeless spy -- a few paces behind him. “Enjoying the show?”

It drew a blade from its belt.

The glint of a knife failed to stir any emotion. The creature may as well have brandished a toy for all the alarm it raised in Spike. Who was a Bringer to a divine being like him?

The Bringer charged. Spike raised his hand, catching the creature by its head. A second. A cry. A corpse, eyes burned out from a glimpse of the horribly holy.

Spike’s second tussle with Castiel was shorter, though no less draining. As he pushed himself back up off the street, the sun gave one last gasp before giving up to night.

Night in Sunnydale.

Spike looked around to get his bearings. Storefronts, old brick buildings, and -- he let out a sharp laugh when his eyes landed on the ‘67 Impala. “Were you just aching to see your mates?” he asked his angel passenger.

No. As you’ve grown stronger, I’ve found you more and more difficult to steer.

The lights blazing in the Winchesters’ apartment window flipped off. A minute later, the purring of an engine stopped. They were turning off the generator for the night lest it attract vampires and Bringers.

The sound of Spike’s beating heart would attract monsters, too; not that he needed to worry. Rather than have a brawl in the street, he decided to head up the stairs and drop in on the Winchesters.

A few minutes after Spike had knocked, the locks clicked open, and Sam threw open the door, embracing Spike in a bear hug.

“Where were you?” Sam asked before shouting back into the apartment, “Guys, it’s Spike!”

You seem surprised by Sam’s affection, Castiel said.

“Come in. We’re just doing research.” Sam smiled warmly.

Buffy appeared at the end of the short hall, a faint flush on her cheeks, a large grin on her lips. “Thank god, you’re okay! You freaked us out with your disappearing act.”

She cares about you, Castiel said.

Shut up! Spike batted at the better angel in his mind.

Sharing his mind -- his darkest fears and dirtiest secrets -- with any creature was Spike’s least favorite part. He’d rather remember his cruelest kills then have another being picking at his scabs.

Inside, the candle-lit living room looked cozy. Homey. Dean and Bobby gave brief hellos before returning to scour through books Spike himself had studied many times. He knew exactly what they were looking for. “Still trying to find an escape route?” he asked Sam.

Sam nodded somberly. “They’re determined. But I’ve read through all the books we have, and there’s not a single chapter called Sam Gets To Live.”

“Not funny,” Dean grumbled.

Sam looked at Spike and shrugged.

This is where Sam and Dean live? Castiel asked. For some reason, I expected more neon beer signs.

“You want a beer?” Dean asked.

“I’ll get some.” With a downcast look, Sam didn’t even wait for a response. “I don’t feel like looking at books right now.”

Spike sat in an armchair across from Bobby. Buffy had reclaimed her seat on the worn leather couch beside Dean. She looked happier than she had in weeks. It wasn’t a leap to imagine them gathered around a dinner table, Bobby carving a turkey, Dean bouncing a blonde baby on his knee, Buffy -- surrounded by family and friends -- glowing with happiness.

He imagined the scene with Sam, of course. Whenever he tried to imagine Sam gone, sacrificed to the Hellmouth to save them all, it broke the spell. In that scenario, Spike imagined Dean hollow-eyed, sour beer on his breath, looking for a fight every night. He imagined Buffy rescuing Dean over and over, trying to save him from his own depression until it finally swallowed him whole.

Spike couldn’t let that happen.

Buffy’s eyes kept darting to him. Finally, she gave up on her book. “Where did you go? Jo said you got all weird and left.”

“Just needed to think,” Spike said.

Sam returned with an armful of beers. “We’re glad you showed up when you did. We were thinking about sending out another search party.”

“For me?” Spike asked with genuine surprise.

“The whole lot of us went Marco Poloing for you for a few hours.” Buffy’s eyes were soft and glowing. “You’re important to us. Sunnydale at night? Come on.”

You’re important to us. Her words sent a warm ripple through Spike’s body.

You still love her, Castiel observed.

Seriously, I don’t need a highlight reel, Spike shot back. I love her, yes, but I don’t crave her. And she doesn’t need me. Dean will take care of her just fine.

“You missed Castiel’s funeral,” Buffy said.

“Not Cas,” Spike and Dean said in unison. They locked eyes for an awkward second before Dean added, “Jimmy, his vessel.”

“Got an inside look, thanks.” Spike sipped his beer. It was warm, but he didn’t mind.

Was the funeral nice? Castiel asked. Jimmy deserved something nice.

Spike sighed internally. “I’m sure everyone ‘ad a good sniffle.”

Sam nodded. “We weren’t sure about his religion, so Keisha sang some hymns, Rachel recited the Mourner’s Kaddish, and Maya made a flower garland for his remains for good measure.”

That sounds lovely, Castiel said.

Bobby snapped his book shut and tossed it on the pile near where Sam was sitting on the floor. “Where are those new books you brought?”

Sam pointed to a duffel against the wall. “They aren't going to have an answer either.”

“Still worth a look,” Bobby grumbled as he got up.

It didn’t seem fair, not that the world ever had been. Sam was a good man. Kind-hearted, smart, sensitive, self-sacrificing. Why was he Lucifer’s chosen vessel? Spike knew about the demon blood Sam had been fed as a baby. It was one of many revelations he’d made when they’d been captured by Lucifer’s minions months back. But why did the Devil want someone so good?

“I’m glad you made it back,” Spike said, looking at Dean.

“Now we’re just waiting for the Apocalypse.” Sam sipped his beer ruefully.

“Not what I meant,” Spike said.

“We’re not ready, anyway,” Dean said, glaring at his brother.

“Sure we are.” Sam returned the stare. “We have the key to the cage. We have a location to open it. We even have get away cars all ready for the girls. All we need is Michael.”

Michael will be here soon. I can feel him.

“And a way to save you,” Buffy said quietly for Dean who was a mix of clenched teeth and red eyes.

“What if,” Spike asked tentatively, “Michael comes soon. Tonight, maybe?”

Dean turned to him with unmasked alarm. “Why tonight?”

Spike shrugged. “I figure if the equivalent of Heaven’s bell’op can bring you two through, there’s no way the reigning angel can’t find a way through with ‘is vessel.”

I am not a bellhop. I’m a warrior class. Heaven doesn't even have bellhops.

“Then I say yes, and we end it,” Sam said firmly.

“No,” Dean said, quietly.

“What’s the point of opening the cage if we can’t get Lucifer in?”

“Goddamnit, I will push the asshole in myself before I let him possess you!” Dean snapped.

“You ain’t strong enough to hold the Devil, anyhow,” Bobby said calmly, resuming his study in the old plaid armchair.

“Then I’ll get ready!” Sam countered, weakly.

“Ready?” Spike asked.

Sam sighed. He seemed more and more beaten as the conversation continued. “To strengthen my body for an angel as strong as Lucifer, well, I’d,” he scanned the group and dropped his eyes to his hands, “I’d have to drink a bunch of demon blood.”

“How much?” Spike asked, aware that wasn’t the comforting response.

Sam shrugged. “A whole demon, maybe?”

Spike took a long final pull of his beer then stood up. “Right. I’m going to leave you all to family business. I need to see if Jo taped Passions for me.”

What’s Passions? Castiel asked.

Everyone in the room looked at him just as quizzically as Castiel sounded.

“It’s dark out there, boy,” Bobby noted.

“I’ll drive you.” Sam quickly popped up and grabbed the car keys from a tray.

Spike bit back his urge to protest. It would have looked too suspicious.

They care about you, Castiel said.

Stop, please, Spike begged.

I just think that you should be fully informed before committing to this decision. People will miss you.

They’ll miss Sam more, Spike shot back as he and Sam descended the stairs. Anymore heart-warming details you feel like sharing?

I think Jo might be interested in you. Romantically.

Thanks.

“Thanks for the offer, Sam, but I’ll walk back,” Spike said once they reached the bottom of the stairs.

“That’s insane, Spike. The town is crawling with vampires and Bringers.”

That was his hope. “Look, I can’t explain it to you, but I’ll be fine. Just stand in the stairwell for a while and pretend you drove me.”

The determination on Sam’s face was clear. “You’re my friend, Spike. I don’t want you to get killed.”

Spike patted Sam’s shoulder and smiled. “As my friend, could you just trust me?”

After a moment, Sam nodded.

“Thanks, and Sam? Don’t say yes. No matter what.” With that warning, Spike turned away into the night.

“Watch out boy she'll chew you up / (Oh here she comes) / She's a maneater,” Jo sang along with the music as she flipped through a stack of CDs. The best part of crashing in this stranger’s home was the owner's extensive collection of 80s music, some of it even on vinyl.

Not long after the Harvelles arrived in Sunnydale, they, Andrew, and several Potentials had moved out of Buffy’s house and into an unoccupied brick ranch two doors down. Her mom, she’d noticed, spent her days fussing over all the girls and baking. So much baking. Jo knew this was a stress tick, but she wasn’t going to argue about fresh cornbread muffins.

Jo split her time putting on a brave face for the girls and quietly sobbing into a beer in her bedroom. She’d been given a second lease on life only to have it jerked away again. The painful memory of having her guts ripped open by a Hellhound was still hot and putrid, and the idea of going into another situation like that with the burning knowledge of what could happen made her newly healed stomach turn.

For the first time in her life, Jo Harvelle wanted to turn tail and run. Thankfully, that wasn't a problem for today. They were in a stalemate until the Winchesters found a way to spare Sam, or until Michael arrived.

She leaned back on her elbows and looked at the Potentials she’d been charged with. The youngest, fifteen-year-old Rachel, danced carefree to the Hall and Oates song currently blasting through the stereo. Like Jo, Rachel had lost her father at a young age, and she’d already seen her share of bodies here in Sunnydale. She’d survived the battle at the winery, yet she still danced.

How could Jo turn her back on a girl like Rachel?

Jo got up to dance with her until the stereo shuffled to the next song -- “Purple Rain.” Betje and Lara -- two of the strongest, most experienced girls who had both witnessed the murders of their Watchers -- stood looking out of the big picture window.

“Vot do you think they are doing?” Lara asked, arms crossed protectively. She was not one to express much other than rage.

Betje combed her fingers through her short blue hair. “No idea.”

Jo joined them peering out into the street. In the moonlight, she could made out dozens of figures looking back at her house, at Xander’s, at Buffy’s. At every occupied home remaining in Sunnydale. At this point, they were used to vampire spies, but this was the first time she had seen the creepy robed Bringers.

Jo shivered slightly. “They can’t get us in here,” she said for herself as much as for the girls.

“This isn’t our house.” Betje was all business.

“But it’s warded,” Jo reminded them. “Let them look. They can’t get in.”

The cd player shuffled again and belted out the first chords of “Bad Reputation.”

A cunning grin spread across Betje’s face. “Let’s give them something to watch.” She jumped into the middle of the room, dancing with Rachel who played air guitar. Betje sang along at the top of her lungs, for the moment, carefree.

Willow felt confident the Potentials would not destroy the house. Well, not her Potentials anyway. Ever since That Day (Buffy’s possession followed by the angels’ visit and Hecate’s appearance tended to be referred to only in whispers and ambiguities), Willow had been teaching her quartet of magically-inclined Potentials how to cast a protective shield spell. None of them were top tier fighters, but shielding the others could prove useful.

They’d started by trying to keep a paper crane still while Willow blew magical gusts of air at it. The cranes had flown all around the room. After weeks of practice, not only were Ella, Alma, Ju and Eva able to keep the cranes still, but they could also work together to cast a shield the size of a car; with Willow’s help, the size of a house.

A warm cup of tea in her hands, Willow left her mini coven as they tried to teach Margo -- who showed no magical skills at all -- how to levitate a pencil. This was the perfect night for turning in early with a book.

For a moment after she opened her bedroom door and saw Dawn making up a cot, Willow was surprised. Ever since the Potentials had arrived, Dawn had bunked with Willow and left her room to Giles. In the three weeks since That Day, Dawn had been staying with her sister at the Winchester’s apartment.

But now the boys were back in town.

“Hey, Dawnie! Just like old times, huh?” Willow said, sweetly.

Dawn groaned and flopped onto her cot.

“Oh, sweetie! Bummed about being left behind?”

“Not really. This is way better than crashing in Jada’s apartment.” Dawn propped herself up on her elbow. “It’s just -- Did you ever find a shirt that you used to wear when you were a little kid, and you couldn’t believe you were ever that small? That’s how the house feels.”

Willow sat on the edge of her bed. Pajamas and books would have to wait. “What do you mean?”

“I mean there aren’t any old times. I feel like this whole Apocalypse thing, especially That Day, sort of ripped time into before and after.” She added quietly, “Like when Mom died.”

“Things will settle down again, you’ll see. This is what? Our seventh Apocalypse? Things get rumbly, we knock them down, things chill out for a bit. It’s the circle of Sunnydale. Once the Potentials go back home, everything will feel normal again.”

Dawn shook her head but said nothing.

“You know, no one’s wanted to claim Buffy’s room if you want a big bed all to yourself,” Willow said with a pleasant smile.

“Nah, I’d rather crash with you if it’s okay.”

Unzipping her bag, Dawn pulled out a familiar pair of sushi pajamas and Mr. Gordo. She hugged the plush pig to her chest. “Assuming we all live through this, do you think Buffy and Dean are going to get married?”

That question threw Willow for a loop. She still hadn’t processed Buffy’s pregnancy revelation -- something she was sure Dawn was in the dark about. Married? “Where does that fall on the scale of not normal?”

Still playing with the pig, Dawn grinned. “Not all change is bad. So if we’re in a before/after situation, it’d be cool if one of those events was actually, you know, nice. Besides, a proposal after the adrenaline rush of saving the world would be super romantic.”

“Pretty sure Buffy would prefer a nice dinner. Minimal fighting.”

“I guess. That sounds like her, too.” Dawn set Mr. Gordo on her pillow. “Was there a line for the bathroom?”

Dean stripped before quickly dashing under his covers. “Ahhhh!” He’d missed the feel of his flannel sheets against his skin. His pillow that smelled faintly of Buffy’s shampoo. His bed. His home.

Returning to the road life after months in Sunnydale felt like ripping open a scab. Every little thing he used to think of as a quirk of the life -- the stale smell of cigarettes in the room, bad coffee, bumpy mattresses, scuzzy gas station bathrooms -- got under his skin. Needling reminders that he was far from home. Far from Buffy.

Apparently, he didn’t hide his irritation well. At one point, Sam had popped in Dean’s favorite Led Zeppelin tape and suggested they not speak until the state line.

But now he was home (for a little while at least) and waiting for the woman of his dreams to come to bed.

He could feel his length stiffen the moment she stepped into the room. Her hair was clipped up, exposing her long neck. Wearing only one of his t-shirts, she shivered slightly as she climbed into bed.

“Is it warm enough to have the windows open?” She scrunched up her nose disapprovingly at the small crack letting in the night air.

“We could get warm.” He grinned boyishly and removed the clip from her hair. Her tousled waves cascaded over her shoulders. “I never get tired of that.”

She bit her lip thoughtfully. “You know, I dreamed of you every night you were gone.”

He’d dreamed of her too. It was their wedding day. With Sam riding shotgun, Dean was trying to get to the church; only they kept stopping to save people. With each turn, another monster. Another innocent. Eventually, Dean’s tux was splattered with blood. He wasn’t sure if he ever made it to the altar, but he knew it was the first time in his life he’d dreamed of getting married.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” he said.

The first flaming bottle crashed through the window.

Screaming wrenched Willow from her sleep. Before she could dash downstairs, a molotov cocktail smashed her window, breaking on the frame and catching fire. She yanked the flaming curtains from the wall and smothered the fire with her quilt.

Dozens of Bringers and vampires gathered on the lawn. In the middle of the crowd stood Buffy.

Willow’s vision went white.

Sam and Bobby met on the landing where the old hunter handed him an axe. “Guess Spike was right.”

“We don't know if Michael's here,” Sam said, but he knew in his gut this was the end. They had to get to Sunnydale High. He should have plenty of demons to drink there.

“Dean?” Bobby asked.

“On his way.”

“Good thing we were ready,” said Bobby.

Sam adjusted the bag of books on his shoulder. They hadn’t unpacked after arriving home. Instead, Sam and Dean had packed up their few mementos -- photographs, cards, Dad’s journal, even a few of Buffy’s things -- knowing that their time in the apartment would be limited.

They hadn’t expected it to be this limited.

Two duffels landed with a thud just outside the Winchesters’ door quickly followed by Dean and Buffy.

Buffy snapped her cell phone shut. “Dawn said it's cocktail hour over there, too.” She readied her glistening bow. “Dawn's with Giles,” she said to no one.

Smoke began pouring out of the apartment. They hurried down the stairs, away from the fire and towards the monsters.

Something heavy and snarling hit the street door.

“Ready?” Sam asked.

Dean mouthed one, two, three. He kicked the front door open and fired into the monstrous crowd.

They had barely doused the last fire when a second volley of bottles assailed the house. One crashed against a Potential’s skull, bathing her in accelerant and flame, sending the girl to the floor screaming while others tossed wet blankets on her in vain. The blankets sizzled and smoked.

The stink of charred hair still hung in the air when the third assault began.

Beyond the broken window, Giles could see Potentials streaming from the other houses. Better to fight than to burn. “Everyone grab weapons!” he shouted, shoving a sword in someone’s hands. "And shoes!"

Immediately, girls gathered at the door. The best fighters first, followed by the girls whom Willow had taught a protection spell, then everyone else. Robin had parked a school bus on the block, and Bobby had hot-wired dozens of cars in the last few weeks. They just needed to get in the vehicles and rush to the school.

This was the simple part of the night.

“Giles, we have a problem,” said Dawn, rushing down the stairs.

He passed out weapons in a flurry -- crossbow, stake, bo staff. “Bit of an understatement.”

“What’s our Plan B for if Willow goes all Hec-a-no?” She pointed outside.

Moving closer to the window, Giles saw Willow, phasing between three forms, screaming at and floating over Buffy. “I take it that isn’t your sister.”

“Nope. She called. She’s on her way to the school with the Winchesters and Bobby.”

“Lucifer still doesn't have a vessel, so at least Hecate isn’t fighting It. I suppose, if it comes down to it, we can tie Willow to the bus like a balloon.” Giles turned back to the girls waiting for his signal. “The plan hasn’t changed. Everyone go!”

Flame licked up the curtains and jumped to the ceiling. The heat in the packed house squeezed their lungs.

“We can’t fight them!” said Ju. Usually flippantly cool, now she was trembling. The vampire bite she got at the vineyard still blazed, two angry pink dots, on her neck.

Grabbing her by the shoulders, Giles looked into her eyes. “Ju, you can do this. You can save yourself. You can save others.”

“But I’m not a Slayer!”

He slipped an axe into her unsteady hands and closed her fingers firmly around it. “You will be.”

Betje burst from the front door, slicing through two Bringers in one stroke. She rolled to her left, cutting a swath through the crowd.

Keisha and Lara stepped forward with aerosol hairspray and lighters, setting four vampires on fire. Other girls streamed out from behind them, plunging their stakes in the in vampire’s hearts, hacking off the heads of other monsters.

“Go! Go! Go!” Karen blocked for some of the greener girls as she fought her way to her car. She swung open the back door, shoving three girls inside with one push. “Come on!” she screamed, cursing for those left behind. She tossed Rachel and Mio in the crowded backseat and slammed the door closed.

Before Karen could shove anyone up front, something grabbed her ankles. She dropped to the driveway, air knocked from her lungs, where she saw a vampire under her car. It hissed, bared its fangs, and bit her leg. Gritting her teeth, Karen plunged a stake into the monster’s eye before scrambling into her driver’s seat. She backed up, the front wheels thumping over the vampire. For good measure, she drove over it again before throwing open the passenger door and collecting three more Potentials.

A light, the same icy blue that kept cracking through Castiel’s skin, flashed in her rearview mirror. Bodies flew threw the air. Karen gunned it.

From the across the street, Spike watched the Impala pull up to the high school and spill out its heroes -- three divine vessels and Bobby Singer. Wedged between the Winchesters, Buffy and her golden bow seemed impossibly small. The rag-tag family crept into the school, prepared to follow through with Sam’s suicide mission.

Spike lit a cigarette and took a long drag. The smoke burned his new lungs, but he kept the cough down. He’d missed smoking. “Lucifer, we need to talk.”

He waited.

“Lucifer?”

At his right hand, the image of Buffy appeared, a mixture of surprise and pleasure on her face.

“You don’t need much ceremony, do you?” Spike said.

“You’re an old friend, Spike,” she replied. “Although, you did disappoint me.” She pouted at him playfully. It struck Spike that the real Buffy would never do this. Lucifer had had access to so much of Buffy inside of Spike’s mind, but the archangel still didn’t understand her.

He still underestimated her.

Spike sucked on the inside of his cheeks. “You wanted me to hurt her.”

She grinned. “And now I don’t need you to hurt her.”

“‘Bout that.” Spike hoped the fallen archangel couldn’t sense what had been in him. “There’s no chance of winning here, is there?”

Buffy, or the cold and capricious idea of Buffy born of his broken heart and shattered mind, shook her head.

A few vampires entered the school. He wondered how many it would take to open the Hellmouth and what horrors lay beneath.

He tossed his cigarette on the grass and ground it out with his toe. “Then you can use me.”

“What?”

“Yes, the answer’s yes.” Spike held his arms wide in surrender. “I’ll be your vessel thing for the end of the bloody world.”

The-First-as-Buffy cocked her head to the side, inspecting him for cracks, for schemes. “Why? Why now?”

“Like I said. End of the world. I don’t want to see how it ends.”

“But I want you to,” she said with syrupy slowness. Stretching on her toes, she whispered into his ear, “I want you to watch her burn.”

“A fine and dandy thing for the Devil to want,” Spike shoved his hand through her chest, “but you’re still short a body. Unless you think darlin’ Sammy’s going to change his mind. Your big brother’s coming, isn’t ‘e? Pick a pony or you’ll lose the race.”

Right and left, tires squealed as carloads of kids took off for the school. Ellen, Karen, Jo, Anya, Xander, Dawn ticked them off as they escaped. She shouted at remaining pajama-clad army to get on the bus, in the safety of the shield Willow’s small coven of Potentials had put up.

“I think we’ve routed most of them,” Ella, one of the witches-in-training said, optimistically.

Dawn played along. “It’s a good thinning. Monster pattern baldness. Now we have to get in and go.”

Out of nowhere, a spear pinned Ella to the bus. Blood trickled from her mouth as she tried to pull it out.

The shield collapsed.

Before she could scream, something yanked Dawn down by her hair. She scraped her palms against the asphalt. A vampire dropped on top of her, laughing.

Dawn yanked a cross from her pocket and slapped it against his cheek.

The vampire howled but did not move.

Her stake was underneath her, grinding into her back. She felt around her for anything and came up with a rock. She bashed it into the monster’s face, snapping a fang.

Another vampire ran over and tugged on her assailant. “We gotta go, bro!”

Blood oozing from the burn and the bash, he snarled at his friend. “Not until she’s dinner!”

But there was a nervous urgency in the other vampire’s eyes. The vampire punched Dawn in the jaw before running off.

Then, Lucifer-as-Buffy disappeared, and Willow-sans-goddess fell to the earth. The sudden lack of vampire snarls and Hecate’s chorus of shouting cast an eerie quiet.

Giles rushed to where Willow lay prone on the lawn and scooped her into his arms.

Dawn stumbled onto the bus.

“Dawn! God!” Robin eased her into a seat.

The bus stank of sweat and blood. Ella hung limp on the spear just outside Dawn’s window. And beyond that. “What? Noooo! No reinforcements! Not for the bad guys!” Dawn whined.

Robin peered out the window. “Cover your face.” Using the butt of the gun, he broke the window, then raised his shotgun loaded with Bobby’s modified bullets, to his shoulder, and shot at a pair of Turok-Han that had appeared down the street.

Click. Click. BOOM!

Robin leaned out of the bus window shouting, “ON THE BUS NOW! MOVE!”

Before the monstrous vampires, stinging from the bullets, could make it down the block, the sky lit up with a blue streak of lightning, touching down where the uber-vampires stood. In their place stood a young man, tall and thin. He would have looked handsome if the sight of him wasn’t so terrifying.

“Did he just fall from the fooking sky?!” Kate shouted.

Someone shushed her. The hair on Dawn’s arms prickled. She felt the shush in her soul. Don’t draw attention to us. He. Is. Dangerous.

The remaining Potentials bolted for the bus. Giles followed, crashing into girls, Willow slipping from his arms. Their bodies jerked as Robin threw the bus in reverse.

“Who is that?” Wook asked quietly. Her close-cropped hair was matted down with glossy blood. It looked like the blood now soaking her shirt would never stop.

“I believe,” said Giles as he checked Wook’s head for the wound, “Michael has arrived.”

Blue lightning arcing from his back, the young man down the block raised his hands, sending all of the Bringers and remaining vampires into the air. With a clap of his hands, the monsters turned to mist.

Xander held his breath until the bus arrived at the school. Buffy had given him marching orders: pack his car full of Potentials and drive. Do not stop to collect Willow or Dawn or $200.

“Since when do we leave people behind?” he’d asked her.

Tears had rimmed her eyes, but she’d been too determined to let them fall. “This is beyond us. If Heaven and Hell break loose, we won’t have time to stop to look for people. Get the Potentials to the school. Save the world.”

“Dawn, Willow, Giles. Dawn, Willow, Giles,” Xander muttered under his breath. Saving the world was Buffy’s fate. He just wanted his family to be safe. “If we’re cutting deals, I can live with just Dawn and Will.”

A small, familiar hand squeezed his. Xander turned and locked eyes with Anya. “I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out of him without thinking. “I’m sorry for everything.”

Anya pursed her lips. “I’m here, Xander. If I survive, no promises I won’t take off, but for now I’m here.”

“Me too,” said a voice from behind him.

Anya and Xander both turned to look at Andrew, hand over his heart, gazing at them lovingly.

“Oh goody,” Xander deadpanned.

The bus pulled up, blood decorating the side in an ugly smear, and the door sighed open. The girls -- in pajamas, pigtails and retainers -- streamed out, their chatter an equal mix of saddened and excited.

“Did you see--?”

“She didn’t make it.”

“Do we have first aid?”

Finally, his eyes fell on Dawn, scraped and bruised but alive. She cut to the point: “Michael’s here.”

“Isn’t that good,” asked Rona, who’d escaped in his car. “Ain’t he here to put Lucifer in line?”

“It’s good in the ‘Golly, I want to die young as a sacrifice’ way,” said Anya.

Xander patted Anya’s shoulder. “Not helping.”

“Best to not gather outside. Into the school now,” Giles said.

"Oh my God, no!" shouted Anya, pointing at Willow, unconscious, in Robin’s arms.

Xander rushed to his friend's side.

"She wears those on purpose to give me nightmares, doesn't she?" Anya pointed at the offending bunny slippers on Willow's feet.

“She went full goddess, but didn’t bother to fight a single monster,” Robin explained ruefully.

“Why am I always missing this goddess thing?” Xander asked as he checked his friend out for injuries.

Anya shook her head. “No way. Dark Willow, Vampire Willow, and straight Willow are enough alternative Willows for me. I draw a line!”

“We’re at the big game without a QB. Can our B team pick up the slack?” Xander asked.

Giles looked at him quizzically. “Suffice to say, our fate would look rosier if we woke her up.”

Inside the school, the walls were covered in graffiti - of both the dumb kid and the occult varieties. A trashcan fire blazed in the hallway. Reddish-brown smears and flecks peppered the walls and floor. One streak had the distinct look of hands being dragged. An undisturbed layer of dust coated the floor. Five Bringers lay dead or dying by the office door where two more were trying to break in. Jo shot one in the head. Maya gutted the other.

Behind the door, someone moved a barricade of furniture before finally snapping the lock open. Sam peeked out of the office, grinning at them with his boyish dimples. “About time you got here.”

Buffy rushed to Dawn, sweeping her up in a tight hug. When they finally released, Buffy looked at her sister from head to toe. “Are those my pajamas?”

“Is that Dean’s shirt?” Dawn tugged on the large tee Buffy had knotted just above her jeans.

“Where are zee vampires?” asked wide-eyed Eva, visibly shaking.

Bobby, holding up the intercom, waved from inside the room.

“Exorcised,” Dean said. “They didn’t have souls, so poof.”

Robin nodded his approval. “Do you think that will work on Turok-Han?”

No one knew, so they didn’t lay odds.

Buffy took Willow in her arms and sat on the floor cradling her. “How long has she been out?” she asked quietly.

“How long was the drive?” Robin replied.

“We need her.”

“Understatement.”

Suddenly, Xander knew how to help. He leaned over and clapped his hands by Willow’s head. “Hey, Will! Time for the Algebra test!”

Willow sat up, surprised. “But I haven’t studied!” She quickly patted her body. “Okay. Dressed. Not that nightmare.”

“Different nightmare. More fangs.” Xander extended a hand to help her up.

"Speaking of nightmares--"

Giles cut Anya off. "Timing. Apocalypse."

With Buffy, the trio of old friends pressed passed the cubicles to Robin’s old office. Everything they needed to summon Hecate was laid out on his desk -- sand, candles, honey, and Artemis’ bow and arrows.

“Should be a cake walk, Will.” Xander clapped her on the shoulder. “I hear your goddess has already given a good tongue lashing tonight.”

“Cake.” Willow traced her fingers over the curve of the bow. “Mercurial, powerful cake that could swallow me. Oh! I need anchors.”

The Slayer snapped into leader mode. “Bobby, Xander, Dawn, help Will. Giles, Anya, Robin, take the north hall. Andrew, Ellen, Jo, take the south. I don’t know what the Hellmouth holds, but I’m betting it’s not a BOGO sale on shoes. We have to keep it in. Dean, Sam, girls, you’re with me.”

“Where’s Spike?” Kate asked, looking around eagerly.

“Spike took off this afternoon,” Jo said.

“He what?” cried several voices.

“No, it’s okay,” Sam said. “We saw him tonight. In fact, I saw him heading down the hall before you all got here.”

“Alone?!” squealed Rachel.

“He knows what he’s doing,” Buffy said. “Let’s go.”

Candles cast creepy shadows across the principal’s trashed office. Willow and her anchors had cleaned enough space to draw Hecate’s symbol with sand.

Placing Artemis’ weapon in her lap, Willow encouraged everyone to lay their hands on her. “Anchors don’t have to do anything. Just keep my soul from slipping into whatever soul-dimension Hecate is in. ”

“That don’t sound good.”

“It’s okay, Bobby,” said Dawn with a nervous smile. “Willow’s the most powerful witch in the world.”

“That don’t sound good either.”

Willow clutched the bow, focusing on its vibrations. Ka-thump! Ka-Thump! A strong rhythm, like a heartbeat, like a battle march.

Before Hecate’s name had finished falling from Willow’s lips, her world turned black and cold. Above her, pearl moons eclipsed one another -- two, now four, now six.

“Where am I?” Willow twisted and turned in the darkness, floating free.

In the distance, stars flickered to life in the shape of a woman with a series of smaller women in her, a nesting doll of light.

“You are in me as I am in you,” said Hecate’s alto chorus.

Willow tried to refrain from rolling her eyes. She didn’t have time for metaphysics when lives were at stake. “I heard you gave Lucifer the what for of his life. Surprised me. Those whats and fors.”

The stars in the distance flickered into an image of wings that quickly exploded into darkness. “My world is filthy with angels.”

“But you said that didn’t matter.” Willow struggled to keep her voice even. “You said they’d only destroy part of the world, part of humanity. That’s like losing an eyelash, right?”

Suddenly, the inky blackness was alight with a mural of people engaging in every human experience from the banal to the exciting. “I did not create this world, but I have enjoyed caring for it. I have enjoyed letting you humans play with magic that would normally be beyond your reach. I have enjoyed watching you walk and war, fight and feast.”

“Not to be a grammar stickler, but I’m not into your use of past tense. We humans are still alive. Michael just arrived. We can fight them!”

The glittering stars faded. “I tried to block them, to banish them to no avail. The world is infected with angels.”

“If you would just unchain Artemis--”

“No!” The stars flared so brightly, Willow had to close her eyes. “The Huntress betrayed me once. I will not count on her in this hour of need.”

Something in the distance caught Willow’s eye. When Hecate said Huntress, a star twinkled.

Focusing on the star, Willow whispered, “Artemis.” The star blinked again. Unsure how to move in this space, Willow willed herself to the star.

Without warning, something grabbed her, and they flew.

When Buffy and company arrived at the seal in the basement, they found Spike already tossing dead Bringers on it. Piled against the far wall were dozens and dozens of pale bodies.

The hairs on the back of Buffy’s neck stood on end.

“You’re not doing it,” Dean said in a low voice. “You’re not even ready anyway.”

Buffy shot Sam a quick glance. He was eyeing the bloody seal hungrily.

“You’ve been busy,” Buffy said. Something about Spike instinctively made her grip her weapon tighter. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong.

Spike smiled as he watched the blood spiral out of the Bringer, filling the goat-faced design. He swayed back and forth happily, as if he was listening to music. “Wasn’t sure ‘ow long you’d take.”

“‘Ow long we’d take?” said Kate with a smirk. “Would a been a wee bit faster ‘ad you not gone rogue.”

The small room was getting more crowded by the second as more Potentials pushed in from the hallway. Buffy stood firm across the seal from Spike, but Kate rode the wave of people closer to him.

He looked hungry.

There’s blood on his lip. What was happening dawned on Buffy in a flash of horror, but there was no time for her to cry out.

Spike patted Kate’s cheeks as she gazed at him, happy to have his attention for a moment. “He always liked your spunk and pessimism.”

Then, he snapped her neck.

Dani raised her sword to strike him, and he blasted her against the wall with a sickening crack. She fell to ground limp, leaving a streak of blood and brain behind her.

The other girls, unsure of what was happening, shuffled back toward Buffy.

Spike clapped his hands together and rubbed them gleefully. “‘ow ‘bout we unleash a little Hell?”

The seal exploded.

The school rumbled, shaking loose plaster. Jo choked up on her axe, its weight reassuring her. “So, Andrew, this gate ever opened before?”

He glanced at the ceiling while he chose his words. “I think it skipped its annual eruption last spring.”

“What’s come out of it?” Ellen asked.

“Well, I was kind of focused on surviving graduation, but I think I remember a dragony thing.”

The weight of Jo’s ax no longer reassured her. An army of vampires she could fight, but a dragon? How on earth could she keep that in the school, let alone kill it?

Something snarled behind her. Two dozen yellow-eyed vampires stood at the school’s entrance, grinning at them hungrily.

“Showtime.”

Buffy fell, the rubble of Lucifer-in-Spike’s blast battering her, cutting her, until she landed with a thud, all the air and fight knocked out of her. Roughly thirty feet above her, the door to the seal room hung open at a funny angle. The rocky stairs under the seal remained intact, though perilous, with large gaps in spots.

Unphased, Lucifer-in-Spike sat beside her and caressed her cheek. “I’ve dreamed of touching you since I landed on your little Hellmouth. I’ve dreamed of ripping off your skin and snapping all of your fragile bones. Earth’s protector is just one girl.”

Ears still ringing, Buffy patted the ground around her for a weapon. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see blurry Potentials wearily trying to stand.

Lucifer continued, “I knew Spike was obsessed with you, but now that I’m in here -- goddamn, he doesn’t think about anything else. In fact, this bastard thought he could save you by controlling me. Isn’t that funny? He’s screaming right now, wants me to leave you alone, but I want him to watch you suffer first.”

He snatched a sword that had landed near her, and plunged it into her gut.

Dean had landed near the edge of a chasm. Rachel landed closer, the hard fall of her small frame enough to widen the cracked edge of the ledge. She was barely sitting up, wiping blood from her nose, when the ledge collapsed. Dean grabbed her hand, her body stopping with a jerk and bouncing against the rock. Far below her, a slew of monsters -- Turok-Han, Gorgons, Hellhounds, Hydra -- looked up and unleashed a deafening roar.

Rachel shook her head, fat tears flowing. “Don’t let go. Please.”

A cry of pain to his right. Buffy. He tried to block it out as the monsters raced up the walls toward Rachel. “I got you, sweetheart. It’s okay,” Dean said, pulling her up.

Suddenly, Dean was flying through the air listening to Rachel scream as she tumbled into the abyss.

Spike stood over him, yanked him up by his collar and grinned at him. “Hello, Dean. Time to play.”

Willow could not twist to see what was carrying her. Whatever it was made her feel warm and safe, like sitting beside a fire.

The ka-thump! Ka-Thump! of the bow’s energy grew louder. As Willow drew closer, she saw the star was actually a glistening cage. Inside the cage, a golden figure teetering between girl and woman, trapped in a heavy sleep, lay curled on a bed of evergreen boughs.

Willow alighted near the cage, hovering in space. She turned to behold a creature at least twice her height. It had a face and hands of mirror-like molten silver. Its many wings covered its eyes and feet while another pair furled out from its back. The feathers glinted like diamonds and rattled like swords. Small arcs of lightening traveled between the tips of the wings haloing its entire being.

“Do not be afraid.” Its voice sounded like the thunder of a thousand kettle drums. It’s mouth flicked like a blue flame.

Willow tried to scurry back -- for she was very much afraid -- but there was nothing for her to push against. She twisted and turned in the void, helpless.

“Willow, I am Castiel.”

She stopped twisting for a moment and considered the possibility. “Then why am I not angel-blinded like Steph was?”

“Because you’re not physically here,” he replied. “I am also trying to mask myself as much as I can.”

“Mask what?!”

Suddenly, Hecate landed with a primal scream so deafening, Willow feared it would snap her ribs. “Get ooouuut, angel! GET OUT!”

The stars flared so brightly, Willow squeezed her eyes shut lest she go blind.

The angel held out its mirrored hands in a gesture of openness. “I have not come here to fight you or to violate your sanctity, Goddess of Witches. I am merely here as a messenger and a witness.”

Two of her heads roared at him while the crone face snapped, “Why should I believe a filthy angel?”

From nothing, the angel produced a needle-like dagger. “I offer you my blade as assurance. If you feel I am an imposter, if I am here for any purpose other than to talk, you may kill me.”

For a fleeting moment before Hecate’s snarling heads blurred back into one, her pearl eyes blew wide with surprise. Slowly, she reached out to take the blade.

Willow exhaled in relief.

Hecate twirled the blade in her hand. “What is your message, Witness?”

Castiel’s flame tongue flickered. “My brother Gabriel and I took the Winchesters back to our world. Lucifer followed.”

“I am aware.” Hecate paced between them and the golden cage. “I tried to lock all the doors upon his departure, but not even I could seal the crack through which he slipped.”

By concentrating, Willow slowly moved away from Castiel. Perhaps she could rouse Artemis while Hecate was occupied.

But Hecate was no easily distracted monster. She began to phase in and out of her three forms. One pair of pearl eyes focused on Castiel, and another fixed firmly on Willow. “What are you doing, small one?”

Willow froze. Of course Hecate would notice. I was moving with magic! “I’m doing exactly what you think I’m doing.”

One of the goddess’s heads yowled like an injured animal. “Did you think,” another face asked calmly, “that you could trick me with this ruse?”

“No trick was intended,” said Castiel. “How could we possibly hope to best you? Especially here?”

“It’s just,” Willow bit the inside of her cheek, “could I see her? She’s been powering my friend for so long.”

For a moment, Hecate closed her eyes as she phased back into one form. “After I deal with the angel.”

Confident in Willow’s obedience, Hecate turned her full attention to Castiel. She held up the blade threateningly. “What is your message?”

Castiel gave no sign of fear. “While in our dimension, the Winchesters -- of course -- stumbled upon a meeting of several gods discussing what to do regarding the angels’ war.”

“I received word of this meeting.”

“Lucifer arrived. He killed them all.”

Silence fell between them. Hecate lowered the blade.

“All?”

“Odin, Ganesh, Mercury--”

The scatter of stars on Hecate's skin faded to black.

“Even my brother Gabriel. Kali and I were the only divine survivors.”

The goddess turned away from him. She wore only one broken-hearted face as she crouched beside the golden cage. “I am not surprised you found her, small one. After all, you found her vessel.”

Willow looked to Castiel for some clue what to do, but his frightening face was inscrutable. “What did Artemis do to you?” she whispered.

Hecate reached her hand through the bars to stroke the sleeping goddess’ hair. “Long ago, there was war. I only entered into the fray on behalf of you, my witches. I feared War and Father would be the death of you.”

“I thought you didn’t care about us?”

“I lied,” the goddess said. “Unlike the other deities of this realm, I procured the keys to wander where I wish. I have seen world after world at war. The people always lose. Demons take over. I do not share your view of demons as beings of evil, but I prefer humans. Their worship is deeper, more sincere, more powerful.”

“And Artemis?”

The goddess closed her pearl eyes. “She tried to bring Father back.”

Passing her arm through the cage and resting her hand on Hecate’s, Willow said, “Friends… disappoint you sometimes. The closer they are to you, the more it hurts. But friendship means you’re willing to give them another chance. I mean, I tried to end the world once -- which you seem totally cool with?”

Something almost friendly flickered across the goddess’ face. “You tried with magic. It was thrilling.”

Willow swallowed hard. Thrilling wasn’t the word she’d have used. “Anyway, when I tried to end the world, my friends were there to stop me and help me. Right now, they’re fighting demons and angels who are trying to end the world. Let me use my magic, your magic. Let’s lead an army of Huntress-led Slayers and tell these angels to go to Hell.”

Hecate rose and stretched to her full height. Higher and larger she grew. A slight smile was visible under her moon eyes. “You have planned well.”

Artemis began to glow.

Jo gasped for air. Why did the damn exorcism have to be so long? The fighting was wearing her down. The muffled roars beneath them didn’t help.

Andrew staked the last vamp before the recording finished. He bounced on his toes, looking like a joke of a boxer.

“Kid, save your energy,” said Ellen, leaning against a door.

“But I’m doing it! I’m a Scooby, and I’m heroing.”

Ellen smiled at him warmly. It had been a long time since they’d seen a happy hunter, let alone a green one.

The smile didn’t last. The door behind Ellen swung open, sending her toppling back into a classroom. She fell at the feet of a Bringer, his wicked blade raised high.

Andrew threw himself into the room, his stake held up to block the blow. His angle was off, and the dagger sliced through his wrist.

Boom! One blast from Jo’s shotgun blew the Bringer away. She fished for more shells in her bag as more monks crawled through the classroom window.

Ellen pulled off her sweatshirt to wrap around Andrew’s gushing stump. “That was so brave,” she told him over and over, trying to keep him from panicking.

“I’m a Skywalker! I don’t want to be a Skywalker!” he screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Jo struggled to keep the tremble from her voice. “Mom, we gotta go. He smells like bait.”

Andrew started to protest. “But our post!”

“Is lost! We can’t fight dragons. We’ll hunker down in the office.” Or die there.

Sam swung a sledge hammer at Spike, sending him into the pit. That should be me, he thought. Why Spike?

Sam rushed to Dean’s side just as the first Turok-Han breached the cliff’s edge. Dean’s handsome face was purple and thick, one eye swollen shut. Blood gushed from his broken nose.

“Guess I don't have to worry about saying yes.” They'd argued over the decision for weeks. Once the words spilled from Sam’s lips, they sounded like a shallow victory.

Dean, his mouth full of blood and broken teeth, tried to smile for his baby brother.

Through his tears, Sam looked around the cavern at the tattered army of girls trying to push back what the Hellmouth offered. The less-trained girls were falling left and right. He had to stash Dean somewhere and guard the spot. Guard him until they finished and could get help.

Help from where? Their army was thinning fast.

“Can you walk?” he asked Dean.

Dean coughed, spraying Sam with blood. “It’s the end of the line. You know that.”

Not again. Not again. Hot bile rose in Sam’s throat. “I don’t accept that.”

Karen picked up the abandoned hammer and with one swing, knocked the Turok-Han back into the pit.

“Whoa!” She couldn’t contain her grin. “Did you see that? God, that felt amazing! I feel amazing!”

A large demon with four curved horns and long tusks crawled out of the pit before her. She swung again, this time the demon’s face dented the hammer. “Guys, you need to move.”

With the flap of charred, fiery wings, Lucifer-in-Spike soared from the depths of the Hellmouth. He looked amused. “Sammy! I was so ready for a new toy.”

He swooped down, grabbed Dean by the collar and tossed him to the monsters below.

Xander worried he’d cave under pressure. He rolled his shoulders, but it didn’t help. He tried reaching with his free hand, but the spot was too far away.

Eyeing him curiously, Bobby asked, “Someone starch your shirts with itching powder?”

Keeping one hand on Willow, Xander shimmied uncomfortably. “It feels like a million bugs in the middle of my back and I just can’t reach!”

“Maybe it is a million bugs? Spell side effect,” said Dawn with a giggle.

Remembering the time a classmate’s textbook exploded with spiders, Xander’s shimmying increased.

Dawn scooched over to scratch Xander’s back with her free hand.

Bobby rolled his eyes.

All of a sudden, Willow’s hair and skin glowed silvery white as if she’d eaten the moon.

Everyone snapped back into place with two hands each on Willow.

“What’s happening? Did we anchor wrong?” Xander asked hurriedly.

“She’s warm! Does she feel warm?” Dawn added with equal panic.

Slowly, Willow opened her eyes, now two white pearls. As she rose, she began to phase in and out of three forms. Pinpricks of light dotted her skin. Clutching Artemis’ bow and arrows, she looked down on her awestruck anchors. “Flee.”

In a flash of light, she disappeared.

Giles’ heart pounded as he staked another vampire. He heard a wet slice and a thud before turning around in time to see a headless figure turn to dust inches away from him.

“--fortitudinem plebi Suae,” droned a recording of Bobby playing on loop over the school intercom.

Robin nodded a you’re welcome.

“Benedictus deus. Gloria patri.” The remaining vampires turned to dust.

“Oh thank God!” Robin said, relaxing his arms for the first time in what felt like eternity.

“Could he speed that tape up or does the exorcism not work at chipmunk pitch?” asked Anya, taking a seat on an overturned vending machine.

A powerful wind like a sudden tornado knocked them to the ground; an ear-piercing squeal and blinding light followed it.

Their ears still ringing, they dared look around. “What the hell was that?” Anya asked.

“Not Hell,” said Giles.

Pinned to the rock, Buffy cut her hands trying to pull the sword from her abdomen, trying to save the man she loved, but she couldn’t do more than watch as Spike tossed Dean into the Hellmouth.

The air left her lungs. Her heart stopped beating.

Lara ran up to her, pulled the sword from Buffy’s gut, and put it in her hand. She was screaming something, but Buffy couldn’t hear.

Dean was gone.

Spike -- no, Lucifer-in-Spike -- had his hands around Sam’s throat.

Karen, Julia, and Ginika took turns chopping at what looked like a violently mutated bull.

Mio lifted a Turok-Han over her head and tossed it back into the abyss.

Dean was gone.

Molly and Wook tossed boulders into the abyss, celebrating as each hit knocked a monster back into the depths.

Maya grabbed the stinging tail of a lion-like creature and stabbed it in its eye.

Using a demon’s tentacles as a rope, Betje swung up on its giant shoulders and plunged her sword into its head.

Dean was gone, but her girls were radically present. Her Potentials were Slayers.

Suddenly, the cavern shook so hard, the kicked up dust obscured everything. Rocks crumbled all around Buffy accompanied by screams and roars as the crumbling cave impartially culled the warring armies.

An eerie quiet fell over the expanse as a blue light cut through the settling haze. Across the cavern, high up, what looked like a comet had crashed through the school. Only the comet was unfolding into a handsome young man, slimmer and sadder than his brothers, with lightning arcing from his back in spectacular wings.

Adam.

Michael was barely keeping his vessel together.

A few demons ran straight for the visitor who promptly ripped them in half.

He’s running low, Buffy thought. He’s saving his energy for Lucifer.

A few demons, upon seeing their kin mutilated with ease, ran back to the Hellmouth. Several more charged Michael, weakened from his previous efforts, who resorted to beating the hoard back with his fists. Most of the demons resumed fighting the Slayers.

Buffy reached out to her nearest Slayer, Margo freshly finished with a Tuork-Han. “Tell the others we need to run. The angels are going to blow.”

Margo’s blonde curls bounced as she nodded and set off to warn the others.

Adrenaline pumping, Buffy launched into the fray. She sliced through the leg of a giant, cut off the slithering head of a demon, and threw a rock in the eye of a cyclops while trying to get to the beast who killed the man she loved.

“Hey, Lucy! Ready for round two?” she shouted.

Lucifer-in-Spike dropped Sam, gasping at his feet. “Why can’t you stay dead?”

She shrugged. “It’s kind of a thing.”

He grinned at her with a bitter hunger. With Lucifer’s flaming wings unfurled, he moved lightly through the chaos, leaving a trail of ash in his wake.

A large serpent passed between them, blocking her view. Buffy plunged her sword in its side, cutting its length. It hissed, wrapping its body around her, cracking her bones. Suddenly, the serpent exploded in a spray of blood.

She fell to the ground, coughing and coated in snake’s blood. Lucifer-in-Spike stood before her, pale blue lines criss-crossing his skin.

“Spike?” she said, “Spike, you're a good man.”

He was on her in a flash, hands around her throat, turning the edges of her vision black. She tried to kick, to punch, to pull, but it felt like fighting stone with sand. “A sad little end for a pathetic little--”

He stiffened, his eyes softened as his hands eased up. He dropped to the ground screaming and clutching his head. Spike looked up, his eyes rimmed with tears. “‘ello, love.”

Free-falling into the Hellmouth, Dean thought quickly. He couldn’t dwell on Sam or Buffy, not while they were still in danger. Not while he could still save them before he died. He jammed his hand in his pocket for the horsemen’s rings.

Before he could throw them and open the cage, Dean stopped in mid air with a jerk before slowly rising. His feet found solid ground. A hand cupped his face, and his bones shifted back into place. The pain stopped.

Willow, the now white-haired, glowing vessel of Hecate, hovered before him. In cat pajamas and bunny slippers. “You can open it?” she asked in her chorus of voices.

She’d set him on a small ledge on the other side of the abyss, giving him a clear view of the Slayer army as well as Lucifer -- prone on the ground near Buffy -- and Michael, swarmed with hell beasts and burning through Adam.

“Why’d you save me?”

One of her heads cocked to the side while the other two met his gaze. “I have never wished you or the other vessels harm. I try to not interfere, but the angels have made no such promise. To survive I must change. I have awoken the Huntress.” She held out Artemis’ golden bow and quiver.

Dean looked across the abyss once more. The Potentials -- even the quiet ones, the frightened ones -- twirled and slashed their way around and through the monsters rising from beneath. They were kicking ass, but they couldn’t overwhelm what was coming.

“Little late, Sabrina. Artemis won’t be enough.”

“My vessel tells me you are the holder of a key; you can keep the angels from ever returning to my realm. Can you open the door?”

He snatched the bow and grabbed her hand. “Get me over there.”

“William the Bloody can’t even play hero correctly.” Lucifer-as-Buffy’s voice rang in Spike’s head, judging him short. “I gave you the chance to be my right hand, and you chose stinking humanity.”

Spike remained on his knees clutching his head. Bein’ a man is my highest aspiration, he replied. For her. For her.

It took all of his focus to stay in control, to press the Devil down. He’d been reeling and trembling since letting Lucifer in. People had died while he got his bearings; Spike could still taste the blood. He'd watched in agony as his fists had beaten Dean to a pulp, as his hands had thrown his former rival into the pit -- as he'd destroyed Buffy's dreams.

Buffy cut off the head of a large hound made of maggots and kicked it away. A Turok-Han got the same. Left and right, Sam used his sledge hammer to crush demons to dust. They were protecting him.

“Killing Dean wasn’t the plan. Kind of the opposite of the plan,” he shouted over the din.

Mourning painted her face. She couldn’t even give him words.

“What was the plan, Spike?” Sam asked between blows. “Did you honestly think you could beat the Devil?”

“Didn’t you?” Each time he looked at Sam, Lucifer's rage sent a seering burn through Spike's limbs.

Spike got to his feet. “Look, I’m keeping Lucifer down. I can still trap him,” he promised. “Lock up both the feathered bastards.”

Sam shook his head. “Dean had the key.”

Something in the abyss unleashed a thunderous roar. A great dragon flew up, dark blue like the night, with piercing gold eyes; its tail knocked against the back wall, and its leathery wings stretched across the cavern.

“I don’t remember this in training!” shouted Ju.

The dragon’s throat glowed like it had swallowed the sun. It reared back and blew fire at the ceiling, cracking loose several rocks. The Slayers ran for cover. Ju screamed as a large rock landed on her leg.

Buffy, Spike and Sam were perilously close to the dragon’s wing. One stray flap would toss them into the pit.

The dragon’s throat glowed again, and it belched fire all around them. Around them. High above floated Willow, her hands out held, giving each of them protection.

All save Michael, whose own protection caused more cracks in his imperfect vessel.

Small fingers interlaced with his. The dragon, the screaming, Lucifer -- everything fell away. He locked eyes with Buffy as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Now's your chance to be the hero you were meant to be, William.”

Michael’s weak. He’s alone, Spike realized.

“Anything for you, love.” Spike took off across the room, dodging the dragon’s scaly mass and the Slayers descending upon it. Without the cage, the Hellmouth would have to do. Spike ran full force into Michael, sending him flying toward the edge.

With Spike in pursuit of Michael, Buffy turned her attention to the dragon. She climbed onto the dragon’s wing. Its head constantly swayed, knocking over Slayers and charred monsters alike. Some of the girls near its abdomen tried to slip their blades in under its scales. Pulling a dagger from her pocket, Buffy poked it through the wing, ripping and slicing as she ran toward its middle.

A tall figure ran up the dragon’s back and neck. It reared up when the person reached its head, sending him rolling back down its neck and off at the wing. He landed at Buffy’s feet, dizzy, dirty and smiling.

“Dean!”

He staggered to his feet and delivered Artemis’ bow and arrows. “Hey Girly! You miss me?”

Her heart raced, and her body warmed. The air stank of fire and blood, but she had never been happier. “Make out session later, for sure.”

“Making out? I just came back from the brink of death. That’s gotta be worth at least a blow job.”

Buffy smiled, “Surviving first.” She loaded two arrows on her bow, and fired. The arrows sank deep into the dragon’s eye, sending the creature flailing it’s head and tail. A shrinking scream pierced the air as one of the girls was knocked into the abyss. Buffy fired two more arrows into its eye as Hecate-in-Willow continued to protect them from its fiery wrath.

Lara and Keisha latched onto the arrows and swung onto its head. Other Slayers tossed them swords. One went for the other eye and the other the soft spot by the ear. The pin cushion stumbled and collapsed as the Slayers cheered.

More demons and monsters climbed over the edge of the Hellmouth.

“Where’s Sam?” Dean asked.

Buffy quickly looked around the cavern, which was rapidly filling with smoke. “You know, Sam seems so spottable until something dragon-sized pops up. Maybe he followed Spike to fight Michael?”

“Followed Spike? The Devil-possessed ex-vampire who’s sadly still a punk fan?”

“He’s in control now.” She didn’t want to place bets on how how long he could last.

“Great timing. He’s still the Devil’s suitcase.” Dean took off to where a blue light glowed beyond the dead dragon.

Buffy resumed her fight, calling on the girls to retreat to the stairs, praying to live another day.

Spike and Michael wrestled on the ground, the dragon’s wing keeping them from rolling off the edge. A few yards away, Sam fought off any demon that tried to come close.

Relieved and confused, Dean joined his brother. “There a reason we’re protecting these feathered shits?”

Sam dropped his sledge hammer in shock. Tears filled his eyes.

“Hecate,” Dean said. “Chick flick moment later.”

His baby brother wiped his eyes before picking his hammer up again. “The demons only want to attack Michael. If he keeps fighting them instead of Spike, he’ll blow his vessel before we can get them in the pit. Or the cage. I guess the cage is an option again.” Sam, sweaty and bloody, smiled like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Oh yeah!” Dean pulled the rings from his pocket and tossed the them near the struggling angels. The ground around the rings gave way to a black pit. Pebbles began to roll into it, then stones.

Spike, difficult to make out through the blaring light he emitted, looked up. “You’re alive!”

“I tried death once or twice. Didn’t like it.” Dean pointed up to Willow phasing in and out of the forms as she blasted demons back into the Hellmouth.

“It’s an acquired taste,” Spike replied.

Michael punched Spike in the face hard enough for Dean to hear bones crack. Stunned, Spike rolled on the ground.

With a sneer of pride on his lips, Michael stood over Spike. “You weren’t even strong enough to best one pathetic vessel. I win, little brother.” In that second, three golden arrows landed -- pfft! pfft! pfft! -- in Michael's heart.

Spike leapt up and shoved Michael into the cage.

A small laugh escaped Sam’s lips.

All around them, demons howled as Hecate-in-Willow continued her assault. The air was thick with sulfur and smoke. Girls continued to rush towards the escape -- towards life. “C’mon, Spike!” Dean called, hand outstretched. “Time to hit the road!”

Spike looked as his hands, a shattering shell, as if something holy were about to hatch.

But there was nothing holy inside him.

“I’m glad you two ended up in Sunnydale,” Spike shouted over the din. “You’ve been a good friend to me, Sam. Probably the best mate I ever ‘ad.”

Sam swallowed hard, holding back tears.

“Uh, okay. Let’s buddy comedy on the road,” Dean said.

Spike shook his head and took a small step towards the cage. “Dean, Buffy likes men with demons. Don’t let your demons get the upper hand, like I did.”

“Spike, you were literally possessed. We can unpossess you again,” Dean promised, knowing it was a lie.

“Love her. Have a life. Make little ankle biters, okay? She deserves everything.” Spike spread his arms wide, and fell backwards into the black hole of the cage.

The ground began to shake and crack as the entrance to the cage grew bigger, sucking in the dragon’s wing, then the dragon. Sucking in the Hellmouth. Sam and Dean sprinted for the exit. A girl in blood-stained nightgown tripped near the ledge and the cage claimed her.

Potentials raced up the broken stairs, leaping to the doorway back to the school.

The Winchesters and Buffy gazed down on the Hellmouth from the school’s basement door. Bodies and blood littered the ground. Monsters still climbed over the edge, some immediately being consumed by the ravenous maw of the cage. A light appeared from within that black abyss, and a hand grasped the cage’s edge.

“Stay out!” commanded Hecate-in-Willow, flying to the mouth of the cage and pushing the surviving angel back into its depths. The cage snapped shut behind her with a deep boom, and the cavern started to collapse.

They dashed through the basement and through the main hallway upstairs, shouting through the building smoke for people to run. The roars of demons followed them.

Outside dawn was just starting to break over the waiting cars. The packed bus took off as the sidewalk cracked beneath Buffy and the Winchesters. Buffy dove into Giles’ car with her sister, hugging her tight. Cramped in the back of the Impala sat the Harvelles holding a pale, sweaty Andrew; Bobby was already revving the engine as the Winchesters slid in. Tires squealing, they took off, the streets collapsing behind them.

Just past the city limits, the ground stopped quaking. To be safe, they drove on another mile before daring to stop. Slayers poured from the bus; some somber, some injured, some delighted at the power running through them.

Ignoring the hoops and hollers, pushing past the questions, Buffy and her friends slowing walked back to the edge of the Hellmouth. The Sunnydale city limits sign was singed and still boasting several thousand residents in the crater of a town glowing red in the early morning light. Soon the low whir of helicopters filled the air.

“That was maybe overkill,” Anya said as she cradled her arm.

“Was it though?” Sam retorted.

“What should we tell them?” Dawn asked.

“I’m going with wild slumber party.” Xander gestured at the girls still in their pajamas. “Hey, where’s Will?”

Giles put his arm around Buffy’s shoulder and they rested their heads together. “You’re not the only one anymore. What do you want to do first?”

Smiling, Buffy met Dean’s gaze and then collapsed.

They filled the waiting room. Dozens of Slayers -- bandaged, stitched, bruised -- spilled from the chairs, leaned against the walls, claimed space on the floor. They’d survived. They’d arrived.

Dawn, her legs curled up under her, was fast asleep in a chair. Giles, Robin, Bobby and Ellen sipped coffee from cups too small to combat their fatigue. Xander’s eyes were battle-weary, his gaze hollow.

Dean trudged into the waiting room and slumped into a chair between his brother and Bobby. “They’re taking her in for surgery.”

“She’ll be okay.”

“‘Course she will. She’s Supergirly.”

Within minutes of Buffy’s collapse, helicopters had landed on the now-useless highway out of Sunnydale. Blood from her stab wound had gone unnoticed, mingling with the monster blood soaking her clothes. Officially, she was one more anonymous injury of “the sudden sinkhole incident.”

The doctor said she may have some organ damage. Was that in the realm of Slayer healing? He also said Buffy was lucky. “Whatever impaled her just missed an artery. She would have died in minutes.”

Dean couldn’t help but wonder if Spike had pushed Lucifer off target.

“Do you guys want anything?” Andrew asked, quietly.

“Coffee. Irish,” Dean grumbled.

“I think they only have American and Colombian, but I’ll ask. Anyone wanna give me a hand?” Holding up his bandaged stump, he smiled at his own joke.

Anya pointed at her arm in a sling. “Together we can make a whole person.”

Jo put down the magazine she’d been staring at but not reading. “Come on. Maybe we can rummage up some snacks for the refugees.”

Looking at the crowd of girls flush with new powers, Sam chuckled.

Robin raised his eyebrows. “Care to fill me in on the invisible joke?”

“It’s not a joke, just irony. All of the Potentials are Slayers now, but we closed the Hellmouth. All this time it’s been one girl against everything Hell could throw at her. Now it’s an army against Hell's stragglers.”

“I wish it were that simple, Sam,” said Giles, his voice raw from tiredness and tears. “In addition to there being more Hellmouths --”

Dean threw up his hands. “Of course. Where?”

“Detroit for starters, but that’s an ongoing problem. There are more Potentials-turned-Slayers out there, girls pulsing with power they don’t know what to do with. We have to find them, train them before someone else gets to them, before they hurt someone. Trouble is, we’re low on Watchers.”

Ellen smirked. “You gotta have a posh British accent and glasses to be a Watcher?”

“Well, no --”

“‘Cause I see nearly a dozen people right here who’d gladly pitch in.”

“Gladly my ass,” said Bobby, squinting at Ellen like she’d volunteered him for the ballet. “I raised those two. I’m done!”

Ellen grabbed his face and turned it toward a circle of pajama-clad girls giving each other back rubs as they swapped stories. “Look at them and say no. You’re not that much of a gruff asshole.”

Bobby sighed. “Fine, but they ain’t living with me.”

Looking lively for once, Giles stood and stretched his shoulders. “Traditionally, a Watcher moves to the hometown of a Potential to train her, but seeing as we have so many Slayers at once, I was hoping to take half of them to England and while the other half remain to train with Buffy.”

“In Detroit?” Dean asked.

“Excellent idea, Dean!” Giles said with a half grin. “Of course, all of our resources were in Sunnydale.”

It was Sam’s turn to smile. “Good thing Anya, Willow and I put together a database of most of what was in Buffy’s books.”

“About that.” Xander’s voice was full of bite. “Can we stop daydreaming about the future for a second? Willow is dead.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Head thick with sleep but thankful to be yanked from her terrible dream, Buffy was positive she’d not set the alarm. She reached out to turn it off, but couldn’t find it. Had they slept in the bed funny again?

A large, calloused hand found hers. Her heart hummed. She wanted to start every morning holding Dean’s hand.

“Dean, will you kill that thing?”

“What thing?” he whispered.

“The beep beep. Death to beep beep.”

“I think the nurses would be pretty pissed if I turned that off.”

Buffy opened her eyes to find monitors and tubing on and in her body. A hospital. It wasn’t a dream. The fire. Spike possessed by Lucifer. Dean nearly dying. The Slayers. The dragon. The Hellmouth collapsing.

Spike.

Willow.

Agony sat on her chest, crushing her heart, drawing out a wail from her throat. Dean’s arms were around her, her face buried in the crook of his neck as the tears flowed. Other arms joined her. Xander, Dawn, Giles, Anya and Sam filled the room. She let go of Dean to hug Xander, his eyes bloodshot from crying.

“I know. I know. She was the best of all of us.” His voice was low and raw.

She wouldn’t argue. Willow was sweet and strong. Even before becoming a witch, she embodied power and bravery, standing up to vampires and throwing herself into the fray not because she had super strength or because she was chosen but because it was right.

Her friends stayed to share memories of Willow. Eventually, the conversation turned to Detroit and the new Slayers. All the while, Dean hovered by her side, keeping her in tissues and water.

She didn’t remember falling asleep.

When she awoke again, everyone had gone save Dean. “The local news is calling us refugees. Everyone who isn’t in recovery left to settle in. Some center is putting everyone up for the night, pizza dinner included.”

Her stomach rumbled at the mention of food. Throwing off her blanket, she swung her feet to the cold tile floor. “Cafeteria?”

Lacing his fingers with hers, he grinned. “Does this count as a date.”

“One of our better ones, hopefully.”

In the elevator, he kissed her hand, his lips lavishing over each knuckle. She was sore and exhausted; both thrilled and so upset she kept reminding herself to breathe at a normal rhythm. But his kisses calmed her.

“Dean, I--”

He was pressing his lips to hers, one hand cradling her back, the other tangled in her hair. The kiss was long, firm, with his tongue lightly tasting her lips. Heat spread from core to her toes.

Ding.

The elevator doors opened on a man holding flowers and three small children holding pink “Welcome Baby!” balloons gaping at them.

A different sort of heat rushed through Buffy, but Dean just put on a charming smile and pushed past them. He grinned at her embarrassment. “The guy’s got four kids, Girly. I’m sure that’s not the most action they’ve stumbled across.”

He brushed his fingers over her neck to play with her hair again. “You were awesome back there.”

“In the elevator?”

“In the Hellmouth.”

“I thought I’d lost you.”

“You’re stuck with me now, like that one jingle.” He started to hum a tune from a cheesy local car lot that bought excessive air time on all the radio stations.

“No! Now I’m going to be singing it forever!”

“Just like me. I’m here forever, even if I’m annoying. In fact, I was thinking with this whole Detroit thing --”

“Ew.” The idea of winters and driving everywhere did not appeal to her.

“-- I was thinkin’ maybe we could get a place together.” His face shifted from sexy to boyish as he spoke, the implication almost overwhelming him.

“Absolutely,” she said, grabbing his shirt and pulling him in for another kiss.

“You must be my six o’clock wedding.” A priest stepped out of an office near them, wrenching them out of their moment. “You don’t look like a cancer patient. Glad to see you’re on the mend!”

“Oh, we’re not--!”

“We’re here!” said a man coming down the hall, pushing a wheelchair. The woman in the chair was sunken-eyed, a scarf over her head, and an oxygen mask over her face. Buffy didn’t know much about cancer, but she figured the woman couldn’t possibly live to see Christmas. Still the woman couldn’t stop smiling each time she glanced back at the man who rolled her into a nearby chapel.

“Sorry, uh, carry on,” the priest said before following the couple.

For years, Buffy had feared hospitals. They were places for the sick and dying. Places where the newly departed roamed. But could they also be places of hope? A place full of babies and newlyweds. Of people who would walk again. Of people granted a second chance to get things right.

Hope.

The Slayer’s gift was death. Her role costarred monsters. But death could co-exist with life. Beauty with pain. Hope with horror.

Buffy and Dean considered the closed chapel door, then stared at each other, hoping to read what the other was thinking.

“You feeling impulsive?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.”

New beginnings. New cities. New Watchers. New Slayers. The same Dean Winchester.

Hope.

He bit his lip and looked back at the door. “It’s not just you anymore.”

“We could have a life. Are you feeling impulsive too?”

epilogue

[rahirah]

via Barb's Place OK, guys, normally I try not to publish things which are this rough, but fuck it, it has been YEARS and I feel like I owe the six of you who are still hoping to read the rest of POM someday something. So here is the crappy first draft of Ch. 14, scene 1. (If you feel like leaving critical comments, please do. It needs savaging.) As Tara collapsed into Willow's arms, the silver cross, still straining at the end of its chain towards the stone, collapsed with her. Only a necklace again, and not the needle of Angel's moral compass. Buffy snatched it and held it tight, till her palms ached where the metal dug into the flesh. She could almost imagine the cross burning her hand, as if she were the vampire. Angel wouldn't, couldn't be doing the things Spike had described if he still had a soul. He might be infuriatingly high-handed sometimes, but he wasn't some kind of undead Don Corleone. Okay, fine, he'd basically put out a hit on Spike last year, and there'd been that whole episode with Resurrected Darla – she was certain she didn't know all the details there, and was even more certain she didn't want to – and that thing with the submarine, though Spike wasn't the world's most reliable narrator where Angel was concerned, and that had been forever ago and Angel had been really depressed back then and it shouldn't count, should it? And anyway, he'd said he'd had an epiphany, hadn't he? Buffy forced herself to take a breath and relax. Or to take a breath, at least. Damn Angel anyway. There was a corner of her heart that would always be his, just as she suspected that a corner of Spike's heart would always belong to Drusilla, so why couldn't they both just stay in their respective corners, safely cocooned in nostalgia? It would make life so much simpler. Everyone else was still arguing. Giles, bless him, had intercepted Kennedy and the Finns, but Dawn pounced on Spike with the speed and ferocity of Miss Kitty hunting the wily laser pointer. "Come on, spill! What plan?" "Doesn't bloody matter what plan, because it's bugfuck insane, and we're not having it." He really wasn't at a hundred percent yet. Insane plans were the last thing that was likely to put Dawn off. Her sister folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that this is the twenty-first century, and I can just, like, phone Cordy and ask her what it is?" Spike's jaw worked, and he glanced up at the ceiling and then over at her, as if imploring the heavens and the Slayer in order of importance. Buffy sighed. "We kinda used her for First Evil bait last year, Spike. The protect-poor-innocent-Dawnie ship has sailed, lost radio contact, and disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle." "I miss the days when a bloke could cut a sodding phone line," Spike muttered. "All bloody right, here's the gist. Chase had the idea this Burkle chit can use Dawn to pop into another dimension, where we'll conveniently run into no slavering monsters whatsoever, traipse across the landscape without falling into any inconvenient pits of molten lava, and pop back into this world in the Hyperion's safe. Then she fancies we can drag this Gunn bloke back the in same manner as whence we came, no doubt scattering sodding rose petals in our wake. I told her — " "But I can do that!" Dawn exclaimed, whirling on Buffy. "You know I can. I got us to Pylea and back last summer! We could drive close to the Hyperion as we can, cross over into the other dimension, hike to the spot where the Hyperion would be, cross back into our world, rescue the prisoners, and cross back to the World of No Slavering Monsters to get back to the car, and then cross back into our world again." At Spike's dubious expression, her own grew obstinate. "Seriously, how is this worse than you sneaking in and out of Angel's hotel through the sewers, which are definitely full of slavering monsters?" You had to admit Spike was giving it the old college try. "And supposing we miss the safe? Pop out in the middle of the lobby? Or the middle of a wall?" "You said Mr. Tanner's with them, right?" Dawn replied, smug. "He's a geomancer, remember? He specializes in topographic magic. I'll bet he can come up with something to get us to the right spot. I'm not dumb. I know this is going to be dangerous, but you need me. It's not like I'm going on some solo mission here. I'll be with you and Buffy, and Faith might even get here by then. All I'm going to do is stand around and exude Key vibes while you guys make with the punchy-kicky." She looked Spike in the eye. "I did fine in Pylea, didn't I? If this was some random nest of vampires..." "But it's not." Buffy hated the brittleness in her voice. "If Angel's really... it took everything I had to beat him last time." More. "You have a lot more now than you had then," Dawn said, her voice softening. "You're only alone if you want to be, Buffy. Let me help. Please." She'd had help last time, too. How could she explain to Dawn that the memory which haunted her nightmares even now was the result of that help: the look of stunned betrayal on Angel's face as she plunged the sword into his heart? If Willow had called his soul back five minutes later, or half an hour sooner... Dawn had never known that particular flavor of heartbreak. She took her sister's hand. "Thanks, Dawnie. But – " "No buts. I get it," Dawn said with the certainty of someone who didn't. "You have all this romantic baggage, and Spike has all these weird-ass vampire daddy issues – " "Oi!" "Well, you do! But you guys have fought demons, and wizards, and gods. I'm not saying Angel isn't a badass, but repeat after me: He's only a vampire." Spike's lips twitched in a rueful smile. "Bit might have a point, love." Rats. She did. Buffy grimaced. "You're not supposed to be the insightful sister." "I've always been the insightful sister." Dawn let her go and bounced back with a grin. "So I'm coming with you, right?" "You're coming." Buffy straightened. "OK, people. Spike and I leave for L.A. tomorrow morning. Kennedy, Willow, Tara, Giles, you're all with us – we'll take two cars if we have to. Riley, do whatever you need to to get your people there, and let me know when you'll arrive. And make sure they know not to randomly stake anything with fangs. Spike's called in some favors from the local vamps, and while I'm not gonna cry bitter tears if some of them come home in a Dust Buster, I don't want to waste troops. We won't know how many of them will keep their word till they actually show up in L.A., so Xander, can you and Anya stay here and coordinate things with David, and let us know how many are coming and when they'll meet up with us?" Xander nodded; if he was disappointed not to be tagged for combat duty, he didn't show it. "Anya and I can pack up the weapons and supplies tonight, if you want to get some rest, Buff." Buffy shot him a grateful look. "That would be great. We'll talk to Cordy in the morning about someplace to stash any allied vamps. Riley?" Riley exchanged a look with Sam. "We've got some fast talking to do with Headquarters. I'll keep you updated." Team Finn rose in tandem and headed for the door. Giles, having assessed the population of Casa Summers and deemed it excessive, was phoning a hotel. Willow was fussing around with Tara, and – "What are we going to do with Grandpa when we get there, Slayer?" And Spike was looking at her like he expected her to have an answer for that. Maybe she did. "After we catch him? We can enroll him in Riley's chiphead program if we have to. At least until we find out what's going on." Spike frowned. "You think a chip in the head's gonna be enough? For Angel?" How was this even a question? "It was enough for you. And it's only temporary." "It was an excuse to hang about in your general vicinity. Not that I'd have admitted as much at the time." His tone was serious; Spike wasn't even trying to pick a fight, damn him, and she really wanted to punch something in the nose right now. "Angel, he won't put up with it, not for the pleasure of anyone's company." Buffy choked back a bitter sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. "'A more permanent solution,' huh? Maybe everyone's right. It took me... so long, last time. To... do what I had to. And people died for it. I can't let that happen again. But I can't..." The words dried up in her throat, too painful to force out. "All of you want me to kill him, don't you?" She was shaking. "So easy for all of you to say, because he's not your friend or your lover. Well, you know what? Screw that! Drusilla's up there with him, and I haven't once questioned that you'll be able to handle her!" Spike's eyes flashed yellow for a second, but he didn't rise to the bait. Maybe his L.A. adventure had really knocked some restraint into him after all. "Yeah, well, maybe you should. I promised you Dru's ashes once, if ever you gave me a crumb. P'raps you've noticed that she's not actually a big pile of dust yet, for all I've gotten the whole sodding cake by now." His shoulders drooped. "Fuck it all, pet, I don't want you to kill him. I hate his sodding guts, but he's family. It's just... you keep talking as if you can fix him. What if there's nothing to fix? What if he really has just stopped trying?" "Then we convince him to start trying again. We didn't give up on Willow when the First had her, did we?" Spike stood silent for a moment, his bright head bowed. Then he sighed. "Fair do's," he said. Whatever that meant. "You know I'll back you, Slayer. I've got no doubts you'll do as you have to. Whatever that turns out to be. Just needed to have my say first." The unshakable confidence in his voice was... not cheering, exactly, but something. She laid her forehead against his shoulder, saying with touch what couldn't be said with words. After a moment his arm snaked around her shoulders, and she felt the uneven rise and fall of his chest gradually match the rhythm of her own breathing. She wondered if he even realized that he did that. "I've got to get some sleep. You coming up?" He glanced across the room. "Up in a mo.' Want a word with Tara. Bird's had a rough night of it," Join the club. "OK. See you in a bit." It occurred to her, as she climbed the stairs, that if the worst ever happened between the two of them, Spike would see that final stroke from her hands as an affirmation rather than a betrayal: a little gesture to show that she cared. Which was weird and sick and vampirey, and also... strangely comforting. No wonder Angel was convinced she'd come back from heaven wrong. TBD comments

[takaraphoenix]

#10 for the ask game, let's say for couple of shows you watch, you decide which ones

Thanks for asking, this is a really intersting one! :3

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Huuuh, okay, lemme go through the shows I’m currently watching, see what I come up with. *tilts head*

Avengers Assemble: The current Black Panther’s Quest. But let me clarify: I don’t dislike the story of this arc itself; I dislike how it’s so awkwardly placed as an arc within Avengers Assemble. This should have been a spin-off, not a whole entire season’s arc of an Avengers show, considering the show has never given the individual Avengers huge standalone arcs like this before. As the plot for its own show this would be an amazing arc, but considering the show it’s on it’s... completely hijacking the show and that does bother me because when I watch an Avengers cartoon, I kind of want to see the Avengers in it, all of them, not just one? Just give him a spin-off, additionally to a real proper all-Avengers focused season of Avengers Assemble. It really ain’t that hard.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I am... absolutely startled to read that most of the fandom seems to dislike season 7 the most?? When in fact season 5 was the worst. The storyline of Dawn was so bad. Not just the retconning in of Sudden Little Sister and just how unlikable the character herself is, but also that the offered out wasn’t used. Just kill off Dawn in the end, use her as the key she is so this obnoxious character doesn’t have to be carried over to the next season, but nope, instead Buffy dies for her. IT was so dumb and so annoying and I find the overly religious story-arcs - whatever the religion - really creepy...

Doctor Who: I really disliked Clara’s post-resolution arc. She was such a good character and I really-really liked her and then the Impossible Girl was finally resolved... and she stayed. That was when she should have left. But that whole nonsense with Danny and how spiteful Clara turned toward the Doctor then and she still stayed around. Usually, this show cuts characters out too early, but in Clara’s case, she overstayed her welcome and the arc they forced there was just really not fun to watch...

Game of Thrones: I am mainly watching it for Dany’s arc, though also the Lannisters and Arya interest me. The others, not so much, but the worst arc is most definitely Bran. I just... care so little about him and what he’s up to, to the point that the one season where he wasn’t in it, I didn’t even notice he was missing. Only that then the next season, he was suddenly back and I was like “oooh... eeeh...”. He’s so boring and bad, I could do without him; the show has so much going on already.

My Little Pony: That last season. The story arc of the kids. This show is very distinctively about the Mane Six. And it was already stretching my patience when it went all about Starlight Glimmer, but now this attempt at making it about a next gen and their whole Elements of Harmony story arc? It was just... not interesting? There are enough established characters to focus on, even beyond the Mane Six. More about their families, more focus on the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Spike, heck the background ponies like Octavia. Those kids...? I just... really did not care about them, I don’t remember a single name of theirs. The kids could have been used to further the Mane Six’s plotlines, as mentee and giving each a bond with one of the Mane Six. But this entirely separate own plot for those six new characters... was just not what I was interested in, not after seven whole years and seasons of caring about the Mane Six. Seriously, they could have had the Cutie Mark Crusaders make new friends and focus more on them as the next generation, but introducing fully unrelated, new characters... did not make me care...

Once Upon a Time: This might surprise some, but it’s actually not the Fr0zen arc, because that... at the very least... did a rather okay job at trying to fix the massive plotholes in the movie. I can appreciate that. It ain’t the soft-reboot either considering I refuse to watch that; can’t judge what I haven’t actually seen. I really disliked 5A the most; the whole Dark Emma nonsense and just how emo she was, I also really hate the storytelling tool of “here have a shocking now and let’s unravel it all in flashbacks”, that was so tiresome to watch. I dislike how King Arthur, the King Arthur, was turned into a fucking villain and how unnecessarily dramatic it was.

One Piece: Fishman Island Arc. It used to be Skypiea, but honestly I just dislike Shirahoshi so much. I find her brand of character absolutely nerve-grading. There was not really anything happening in the arc, it pretty much felt like a filler arc even though it was a major one. Waste of time.

Riverdale: The... damn how do I decide? This show started off so good as a fun murder mystery with intriguing characters. Haven’t seen season 3 yet so can only judge the first two. But Betty’s father suddenly turning serial killer was just such a horrendously over the top and unnecessary plot?? Veronica’s dad being a mastermind criminal had at least been set up from the get-go and even Jughead’s dad being the head of a gang and honestly was anyone surprised Cheryl’s mom would send her to conversion therapy? Okay, okay, I will buy all of that. But Betty’s father doing the serial killer bullshit was just way too much and unnecessary and just bad.

Shadowhunters: The addiction arc. It was the worst to watch for me so far. For one, because I am hard against drugs and really dislike addiction and drug arcs in general, but for another because it was just so badly written. That Isabelle, a brilliant scientist with a brain, would just cheerfully agree to take this risky drug from Aldertree to begin with, the utter lack of motivation as to why Aldertree would deliberately get her addicted to drugs aside from it being convenient for drama, then just how Raphael was completely reduced to a tool to further Isabelle’s plot and we did not treat him like a character facing addiction himself. It was so bad.

Stranger Things: The “let’s hide Eleven in my cabin and start to have secrets!”-arc? The reason I really loved the first season was because it was very up-front and open. No unnecessary miscommunication. So to then, in the second season force this miscommunication between characters who had already developed trust with each other... it was so cringeworthy. Eleven hiding from the boys, the sheriff not talking to them either. There was absolutely no reason to it aside from padding the runtime of the season. And that’s what defines a bad plotline; if it serves no actual purpose and has no grounding foundation, no reason behind it aside from “plot required it”.

Suits: The removal of one of their main characters?? This show? Literally? Has? Two? Main? Characters? And only one of them is the actual lead that separates this show from every other lawyer show. And... then... they remove him? The entire season leading up to that had such a good arc that was setting a separation between Mike and his girlfriend up because there were problems and there was distrust and they grew apart so much and I figured “Okay well the actress is getting married to a literal prince and leaving the show so they’re going to make them break up, huh?” and then in the last second, they decide to kit this and make Mike move away with her? I haven’t seen the new season yet but I... really can’t imagine it working out...

Teen Wolf: I feel like I should say 6B, but... I seem to hate that so much that my brain actually managed to forget it? And that’s... rare, but it happens occasionally. When something is really very bad and awful, my brain manages to forget about it. I clearly remember Jackson and Ethan making out and the whole FBI!Stiles thing and that it was about A Nazi, but... what the Nazi did and what actually happened and what, aside from the Nazi, I hated so much about that half-season... I can not for the life of me remember. Thank the gods. So I gotta go with 3A, because the True Alpha arc was the biggest bullshit. Don’t break your mythology. Don’t. Just don’t. Suddenly, a pack can be made up of all-alphas? How? The other alphas shoulda fall into being betas after joining Deucalion?? They should have become omegas after killing their pack because by definition they had no pack anymore?? They should not have gotten more powerful for killing their own pack? It made absolutely no sense at all and completely contradicted the lore this show had set up so far? And that Scott was somehow a ~True Alpha~... I still don’t see what the fuck’s so special about that if it doesn’t come with actual natural leadership abilities, which it should if you are a true and thus natural alpha, aka leader?? It was dumb and forced and you could taste the “Oh shit we want The Main Character to become alpha but we accidentally created a world where you can only become alpha by killing and of course can we not have The Main Character kill anyone!!!”... So dumb. So stupid. Do not like.

Wynonna Earp: THE BIBLE NONSENSE. This show started out so strong. And there was absolutely no reason to pull a sudden Bible on it. Bulshar could have just stayed his own OC demon self and this show could have kept its own mythology, but to suddenly make him the snake from the Garden Eden? To suddenly involve angels? Season 3′s Bible arc was just so absolutely unnecessary.

Salty Ask List

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x23 “Let The Good Times Roll”

idk what you guys thought but I LIKED IT and here’s why!!!! (EXCEPT THAT THING WITH THE KNIFE??? WHAT THE HELL???)

04:02pm

so it only took 45 minutes to an hour to find somewhere to watch this, my thanks to @trisscar368 for helping me out!!!

eventually found it streaming rather than downloading, would not recommend but HEY IT WORKS (for now) [http://gorillavid.in/zbtu97hfei65]

this feels like it’s 2008 all over again, trying to watch doctor who after school

OKAY LET’S GO

i’ve seen a bunch of major spoilers but i know cas doesn’t die so i’m good. apparently it’s A Boring Episode but also MICHEAL and LUCIFER so

idk idk let’s just watch the thing and find out what happens

-

04:04

rowena: is there, i dunno, music? CARRY ON MYY WAYWAR---

fuck

-

04:09pm

feels good having bobby there

-

BOBBY’S REACTION TO TRUMP IS THE BEST EVER

“and you call where WE come from ‘apocalypse world’?”

-

04:11

cas: “they’re talking about whether kylie jenner would make a good mother. consensus is no”

hey give her a chance

i mean i know nothing about her but she seems... teachable?

-

dean: “yeah well, that’s why i’m a chloe man”

WHOOOOOP dean loves his girly trash tv i see

-

brown werewolf: “now that is why i’m a chloe man”

dead brown person alert :|

how naive i was to think he might be left alive because he got a speaking line and made himself a dean parallel with that single line

-

04:16

mary: “do you really like the rain?”

bobby: “when it’s this beautiful, i do”

lest anyone forget bobby is a gentle down to earth sweetheart

soft papa bear

-

“rowena and charlie are road-tripping it through the south-west”

WOULD WATCH THAT SPINOFF

but #savewaywardsisters first

-

04:19

dean: “can you imagine? you, me, cas, toes in the sand, couple of those little umbrella drinks, matching hawaiian shirts, obviously”

PLEASE

“....some hula girls“

mmmm *squints at how that part was said after a....... pause, off-screen with the camera on sam*

-

04:24

dean to jack: “it’s not about being strong....... i don’t know what you went through over there... but i know you came out the other side. because you ARE strong”

good papa dean words

much love for him and his emotional avaliability

-

04:26

dean: “whatever you’re dealing with, whatever comes at us, we’ll figure out a way to deal with it. together. we’re family, kid”

sam said it to dean, dean said it to jack

i guess the next step is ...jack saying it to cas?? SOMEONE’s gotta say it to cas

but also WOOOO DEAN’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT REGARDING JACK SINCE THE START OF THE SEASON

-

04:32

um

is it just me or is this a seriously unfortunate racist-looking coincidence

desperately hoping this wasn’t the guy who killed maggie

(i don’t think it is, which means maybe this is a “don’t jump to conclusions” kind of storyline which has a race-relations subtext??? i wish it meant nothing besides jack’s need to protect others, but given the lack of living characters of colour on this show, the minute a person of colour shows up, it BECOMES about the fact they’re not white, bECAUSE they always die, invariably)

anyway, my point is: this is problematic

also the red shirt. as in “red shirts always die” ??

edit: thank goodness....... RED HERRING

-

“3 sheeps” poster in the background

i remember this symbolism from something earlier but can’t remember exactly what

i’m thinking lambs to the slaughter, or being part of a flock, or being herded into something they’re wrong about, being naive, following each other one by one into the unknown

wow reading tarot has improved my “make a list of all the obvious symbolism” skills

-

04:39

the fact cas is suffering with the angel language whistle is interesting?? i thought it hurts dean because he can’t understand it

which means.......cas isn’t understanding this noise?

or maybe he is understanding, it’s just real loud

-

04:42

enjoying sam being protective of cas

-

lucifer: ........”the three amigos.... sam, dean, and the other one”

that’s probably how a lot of people see team free will tbh

how sad

-

lucifer: “you want a lightsaber?”

jack:

vroom

we mAY HAVE LONG SAID HE’S TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD BUT WE NEVER MEANT FOR HIM TO LEAVE

-

04:50

that awkward moment when you’re trying to solve a murder and your adorable magic grandson comes home with the devil

:o

-

the face you make when the devil makes an ableist joke about your son and then says “no offence”

(the ”i would murder you but there’s enough dead bodies in here right now” face)

-

04:56

maggie: “kinda seems like you have... you know, bigger.... satan-y... problems”

bless this girl

-

05:00

dean: “as shakespeare once said: eat me, dick-bag”

tbh shakespeare probably did say that at one point or another

add shakespeare to the list of dean’s bisexual heroes

(follow up thought: what if when cas could time-travel, he and dean and sam went to go explore shakespeare’s town and dean made.... Friends)

-

05:04

lucifer’s talking to jack about their future space travels

i mean i think it’s fairly obvious, lucifer was the one who killed maggie, so he could bring her back and impress jack

maggie said “i didn’t see their face but i saw their eyes” and that means it was either lucifer or michael with the glowing eyes, and micheal said to dean “you’ll be the first life i take in this world” which leaves lucifer

stinking nasty manipulative trash angel

-

05;07

micheal, while strangling dean: “could’ve done this quick, but i wanted to enjoy it, that moment when the soul leaves the body”

yeeeah okay sure, speak aloud your reasons you’re stalling for time while jack figures out how to get back

-

05:10

jack to lucifer: “you’re not my father. you monster”

HUZZAH

-

for the record i’m... reaLLY ENJOYING THIS episode so far

it’s all big and mighty and magical but the core of the story is a boy trying to find his family and figure out the truth behind his manipulative father

i’m so glad it led to this because i am HERE for this kind of story

the world hangs in the balance, but it’s not dean, cas and sam trying to save everyone, it’s jack trying to find his place among loved ones, and by following his desire to help people he’s learning what he needs to know

i fucking love this okay

-

05:14

lucifer: i just need your power--

OH NO I SPOKE TOO SOON

OH NO

-

05:17

michael: “this is the end. of everything”

I SEE DEAN’S COGS WHIRRING AND I WORRY

nine years of not saying yes to micheal and now it’s happening isn’t it

-

05:20

jack’s pained little whimper :c :c :c

-

05:21

dean: “i am your sword”

CHILLS

-

05:22

dean: “CAS I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE”

cas: D:

PERFECT MOMENT FOR AN AGGRESSIVE KISS but nope that would be too much like goodbye

-

05:24

third option rather than sam or jack trying to kill each other: they pick up lucifer’s blade and kill lucifer with it

-

05:26

WHAT 

NO

??????

BAD IDEA????

JUST STAB LUCIFER????

-

jack:  i love you

NOO ;;A;A;A;A;A;A;A;;A;A

DJSGJD

I’M NOT ENJOYING THIS 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND 

PLEASE STOP

-

05:27

WELL FUCK

hi there

WHHHOOOOOOO

meanwhile back at the bunker: cas has the weirdest traumatic boner

-

05:29

THE WINGS KEEP GETTING BIGGER

-

05:31

interesting angel flying physics here

dean flails while sailing slowly backwards

i mean i know he’s on a suspension wire but technically waving his arms about ought to affect his position

-

05:33

LITERALLY SAM COULD’VE DONE THAT TO BEGIN WITH

WHAT EVEN WAS THE POINT OF THIS

HE COULD’VE ACTED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO STAB JACK AND THEN GO WHOOSH AND STAB LUCIFER

SAM HAS FUCKING NOODLE ARMS HE COULD’VE DONE IT WITH HIS EYES CLOSED

JEEZ

-

05:35

okay but i’m laughing right now

are you telling me this is what happens if lucifer accidentally trips and falls on his knife

where did that golden blade come from anyway

has lucifer just been carrying it around this whole time?

COULD ANYONE HAVE PICKPOCKETED THAT KNIFE AND STABBY STABBY >>> EXPLODING FLYING FLAME DEVIL ??

WHAT BRAIN CELLS WAS LUCIFER MISSING TO HAND THAT BLADE TO SAM WINCHESTER IN THE FIRST PLACE

OR GO INTO BATTLE WITH MICHAEL WITHOUT THE KNIFE

OR TO HAVE THAT BLADE ON HAND IN THE FIRST PLACE ??????????

I’m sorry i just find this hilarious

i mean good fucking riddance to this trash angel but wow what a way to get there

all of this was so easily avoidable ?? i seriously don’t understand what possessed sam to think “aw yeah let’s pick up this magic devil blade to KILL MY OWN SON and/or HAND IT TO HIM SO HE CAN KILL ME” instead of “umMMM the devil just gave me a magic knife and is trying to tell us to kill each other maybe we should kill him with it”

I HOPE SOMEONE IN THE WRITER’S ROOM HAS A REALLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS

-

05:45

HAPPY RELIEVED SAMMY

why do i feel like everything’s about to go terribly terribly wrong, worse than before

-

05:48

i mean micheal!dean looks good though

despite everything i think dean would approve of the outfit

-

like he actually looks a little bit TOO attractive

definitely not to be trusted

you know when people just look TOO handsome and shiny and perfect and they’re TOO charming and you know something’s up

this guy’s got danger written all over him in sleek & elegant calligraphy

-

05:50pm

mmmmmmmmm okay, it’s over

i liked it ?

felt old-school, kinda like a buffy episode or an x-files episode

things i’m happy about: everyone lived and lucifer died!! this is a pretty cool progression of events and i’m interested to see where it goes (not EXCITED, i’m not EAGER, but i am interested). that black dude was not the one who killed maggie. maggie survived!!!

things i’m not thrilled about: the fact sam didn’t just stab lucifer in the face when he was right next to him holding the magic knife?????? i don’t get it and i don’t think any kind of meta is actually gonna be able to explain how ~UM EXCUSE ME JUST ONE SECOND~esque that moment was

no bechdel test pass

jack’s personal arc this season was great and i love him

as always, this show is riveting to me only because i care so much about the characters, and i cannot tELL YOu how fucking pleased i am that this show’s universe is now a universe where bobby, charlie, mary, rowena, dean, cas, sam, jack, jody, donna, claire, the other wayward girls, and billie ALL EXIST AND ARE ALIVE

seriously could’ve done with some kevin too, i’m still bummed that he’s died TWICE now and isn’t back permanently yet

but HOLY SHIT THE REST OF THEM ARE ALL ALIVE 

GIVE ME A TEAM-FREE-WILL-MAJOR SEASON WITH ALL THE SQUAD ALIVE AND KICKING ASS AS A GROUP

like... save dean as a group, then one by one discover that dean and cas have been locked in a room without clothes for three days, then save the world and retire forever as a happy, healthy hunter squad with their gay dads

FUCK YEAH

overall, this episode is maybe a 9/10 just because that FUCKING KNIFE man. i dunno what to think about that.

like .........why

i also want cas to have a season arc!!! a positive one!!! where he actually accepts love and expresses affection and receives AUDIBLE AND VISIBLE AND TANGIBLE affection from others!!!

and for fuck’s sakes stop killing people of colour, give us more women of colour who are good and don’t die, pass the bechdel test more often

AND ABOVE ALL GIVE US WAYWARD SISTERS I WANT THAT SHOW SO BADLY AND EVERYTHING IT REPRESENTS

IT WOULD FILL IN ALL THE GAPS THAT ARE MISSING FROM THIS SHOW

PLEASE

[myinazeaanazazi]

my villain pet peeve and Infinity War

So, I saw Avengers: Infinity War last Friday and I’ve been reminded once again why I dislike most villains.

Spoilers ahead.

Now, watching Infinity War started sucky. Because they kill Loki before the Title even shows up on screen. That made me a bit mad for multiple reasons.

I only saw Thor: Ragnarok once, so I had no idea that the after credit scene was “Thanos shows up”... I mean, I knew when I watched the movie, but only because I watched one of those ‘prepare for infinity war’ videos on youtube. So, right off the bat: Continuity.

Now, controversial opinion: Why not put that not-even-five-minute scene at the end of Ragnarok? I mean, Marvel wouldn’t have had to hire Tom Hiddleston for Infinity War, which could have saved them money, I guess? More importantly, it would have helped with continuity, because I can promise you I would have remembered Thanos offing Loki. Also, there would have been the additional tension of ‘Do Loki and Thor live?’ Plus, I would have loved to see the spaceship destroyed and not being thrown into a pre-destroyed spaceship.

It kinda deadened me to the following deaths. Like, we killed a dude in the first five minutes. I expect copious amounts of blood flow... and didn’t get any. Like, people, uh, died, but it was Loki, nothing, nothing, nothing, Gamora, nothing, EVERYONE... and without blood.

This makes the fact that we get little to no reaction to the people dying another problem I have. Like, Thor sheds a single tear ... and Star-Lord punches Thanos because he killed Gamora ... Thanos cries one single tear ... and that is all the emotional reaction we see the characters have to the deaths. Sorry, but that doesn’t exactly move me ... which might be a failure on my part.

Then there is the fact that there are a few character points that irk me.

Scarlet Witch and her inability to prioritize. Seriously, your boyfriend is begging, begging you to kill him because it’s the only way to prevent genocide and you choose smoochies over the universe? I get that she’s lost a whole lot of shit over the course of her life and doesn’t want to lose any more people, but Vision has ... knowledge and thinks about things. He’s arguably the mentally most skilled of the bunch and still smoochies top genocide? Cause I’ve seen a review where someone actually called Wanda decisive and I was screaming at my monitor that “NO! She literally waits until the very last fucking second to kill her boyfriend, that is NOT decisive at all!” Plus, wouldn’t it have been so much more devastating (read: interesting and having emotion-potential) for her to a) realize when they get to Wakanda (cause they would’ve gone there anyway) and b) make Thanos have more power and make him less likable if he’d turned back time for more than 2 minutes? and having Scarlet Witch realize that she even though she killed her boyfriend and has been struggling with that for more than fifteen seconds, that sacrifice was for naught? I mean, she disappears a minute later, so there is no emotion there ... Plus, that stupid stupid stupid scene that was all about Scarlet Witch and Vision being a couple? After we’ve last seen them in civil war and we hadn’t even had confirmation that they’re together, did we have to spend ten fucking minutes on them being all lovey and in an established relationshps? I realize, partly that’s me being not all that interested in Scarlet Witch, a character that showed up 2 movies ago, who has been nothing but that antagonist that joins the team late in the game and whose powers we don’t even actually know a lot about, because nobody has spent time developing her. There has been no movie about her, nothing. She’s been a side character for 2 movies. Nobody gave either Hawkeye or Black Widow a truly impactful role in the last few movies, and we know so much more about them than we know about Scarlet Witch. Mostly, I just hate that she’s nothing more than a plot-device and everyone treats her like she’s the second coming.

Star-Lord punching Thanos, because EMOTIONS. I was sitting in my theater when they almost pull off the glove and telling Star-Lord not to fucking punch him. Yes, it was predictable as fuck and dear God did I want to see Thanos besting the heroes after the took off the glove, but nooooo, Star-Lord had to be ~overwhelmed by his emotions~ after finding out that Gamora is dead, and hit Thanos in that one moment when they could have succeeded. I was so angry at the little twat.

Dr. Strange giving up the Time Stone after explicitly stating that he’s definitely going to sacrifice everyone to keep the stone safe, he gives up the stone to Thanos. Like, dude. Really? I thought you understood priorities.

Dr. Strange’s last words are something along the lines of “Sorry Tony, this was the only way.”, which ruins the whole thing. He looks at 14 Million possible futures. And of course, there is ONE future where they win. He couldn’t have said, like, seventy-five? Like, ALL the stars have to align to win. 75 out of 14 Million is still not a snowball’s chance in hell if you’re talking probabilities and it would have sounded less ... you know ... farfetched. Now, that’s not my biggest problem, because that doesn’t take you out of the movie in the very last moment of the movie. You only remember that later when thinking about it. Which I greatly prefer to having them shove the fact that the whole movie was pointless because of course they’re gonna win, because Dr Strange has put everything he can into motion and he knows they’re gonna win.

Now, Thanos. Thanos, Thanos, Thanos. Let’s summarize what I remember about Thanos pre-Infinity War: In the Avengers after-credit scene, Buffy/Angel-Wesley tells us/Thanos that fighting Earth’s mightiest heroes would be a great way to ‘court Death’. Now, me, a person who hasn’t read the comics, I went on the internet and did a little bit of research (not a lot^^) and found out that Thanos is in love with the anthropomorphic personalization of Death and wants to court her via killing as many people as he can, as gifts to her. Which felt like a cool thing. So I was a bit disappointed that they dropped that angle entirely. Which we find out when we find out that Thanos wants to bring balance to the galaxy.

And that means I have to downgrade Thanos from villain-status to antagonist-status. Imagine my disappointment when instead of Buffy’s “the First Evil”, I got “The Initiative”. Now, both are kinda scary concepts and valid and stuff, but one of them bit off more than they could chew while the other just ran out of people they could manipulate. Plus, one’s embodied by Nathan Fillion in my head and the other by ... Marc Blucas. I had to google that because while Riley was a character on Buffy for 31 episodes and Caleb only for 5, one of them made much more of an impression than the other.

My problem with Thanos as we see him in Infinity War is that he’s misguided. JUST misguided. And I despise misguided villains because most of them aren’t done very well. I understand the desire for villains outside of run-off-the-mill bloodthirsty insanity, but in my head, Thanos is just a person who uses the wrong ends to achieve the same goal as our heroes. Saving the universe. Granted, the heroes’ need to save the universe only arises because Thanos wants to save the universe, but the goal is the same.

I’m not saying that the end justifies the means, but the Thanos we got to know during that movie (that feels inappropriately titled, because, really, shouldn’t it be called ‘Thanos’?) sees his way as the only viable way after experiencing Titan’s downfall. Therein lies my problem. We see Titan lying in ruins. True, there could have been any number of reasons for that, but operating on what we know is Thanos’s level of knowledge, Titan was destroyed because of overpopulation and no way they devised of countering the overpopulation helped. The rationale that killing people, aka Thanos’s way, is the only one that works is sound. Which makes him the hero of the story. You know, the one that makes the hard choices. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Sure, a nice side-effect, he feels, is that people are going to thank him once they realize that what he’s done is great, but that’s not his main objective.

Thanos is too human for my taste. In a bad way. Red Skull was human once, but the way we see him in Captain America dehumanizes him while making him a villain. A goofy villain, sure, but a villain nonetheless.

This is my first problem.

The second one is speculation based on what I know about books and movies and stuff. Namely that after that scene with baby Gamora looking all disappointed in Thanos, the logical way this is going to continue is Thanos is going to realize that he made a mistake and will want to make amends and put everything to rights. And that would really suck because if you want to make Thanos into a hero, don’t market him as a villain.

Redeeming villains has its time and place, sure, but not fast. Please, let there be character development first...and please don’t do that in a superhero universe when you’ve built the guy up for the past ten years.

I mean, I get that there’s other ways to go with the story. I really hope I’m wrong, but ...

My third problem is not with Thanos himself but with our heroes, who, although they should have learned that just punching people isn’t any kind of solution, that’s the only way they even think about solving their problem. Like, I would have expected at least someone to be like “He’s talking about saving the universe. Shouldn’t we, like, try and convince him that killing people is not the solution?”, and then maybe someone to say “Don’t you think there are any number of people who tried that?”, but as far as I can tell, there is nobody who’s ever stood up to Thanos with anything other than violence. I’m not a pacifist, I actually like action movies and the violence in them. Like, from a distance. But nobody ever even talks about a different solution. We have time to establish that Scarlet Witch and Vision are in a sex-having relationship, but we don’t have time for that?

I also don’t know what Thanos can do with the Infinity gauntlet, because nobody says what all that entails. Yeah, he can manipulate reality, but what does that mean? We only ever see him do shit that temporarily affects shit, so ... what? As The Film Theorists pointed out, Thanos could have just doubled everything except the population, but can the gauntlet do that? Other people pointed out that the people aren’t actually dead, just sucked into the soul stone, so is that whole “doubling shit” even an option?

My biggest problem is that I can’t really root against Thanos. Especially when none of our heroes even tried talking to Thanos. Like, sure, they don’t get the chance, but they don’t even consider the option of not waging war. They don’t ever try to find a solution. Sure, he kills people by the billion, but he doesn’t do that for his own gains (as a proper villain should, in my mind) but for the good of the universe. I fucking hate that. Like, Voldemort and Umbridge and Ultron and .... others I can’t think of right now, are actually malicious. Not just ... goal-oriented.

Well, not true. My biggest problem is that all of what I just listed detracts from the good things about infinity war.

Like, the story is actually quite good. The characters fit together well. The chemistry between the characters is great. The banter is great. The visual effects are great. Everything but what I listed is outstanding in my mind.

[thelatelockdownlist]

A Series on Series 03: Nalini Singh’s Guild Hunter

Hi! I’m Alex, a YouTube Newbie and this is The Late Lockdown List where I talk about the list of things I’ve got on my mind since the lockdown started. 

Anyway, for those of you who were here for the previous episode, welcome back. 

For those of you who are new, today on the third episode of A Series on Series, 

we’re talking about Nalini Singh’s other paranormal/supernatural series, Guild Hunter.

Since the series has been out for quite some time, if you haven’t read it and are sensitive to spoilers, well, I talk a lot about certain details. 

However, I’m going to tell you if there are particularly crucial plot points that I’ll talk about. You’ll see this when I’m about to spoil a plot

First off, what is the Guild Hunter series about?

We start with a question: How are vampires made/turned? 

From a bite, right? You’re thinking Dracula, Buffy, Angel and maybe even Twilight. But in this series, vampires are made by angels. That's right, the winged creatures. This series starts with one particular Guild Hunter, Elena Deveraux. I'm not going to spoil the story by telling you exactly what happens to her. I am, however, going to tell you that in this series -- of which there are currently 13 books and 4 novellas, you have vampires who work for angels for 100 years to serve out their contract. In turn, the angels work for archangels who make up the Cadre of Ten, who effectively rule the world.

The Guild Hunter series begins in earnest with the first book Angels’ Blood

with Guild Hunter Elena Devereaux and the Archangel of New York Raphael

https://the-guild-hunter-series.fandom.com/wiki/Raphael; credit to Jennifer H.

-- no last name. 

We first meet Elena at work, tracking down a runaway vampire. 

The Guild Hunters are humans -- mostly -- although some are ‘hunter-born’ like Elena who are gifted with an almost preternatural sense of smell that can track vampires. At the end of her track, she finds the ‘baby’ vamp, a vampire newly turned, and returns him to his ‘master,’ an angel. Said angel tells Elena she has a new assignment which terrifies her: New York. 

Apparently when an angel says New York, it can only mean one thing: the Archangel Raphael who rules North America.

Raphael has a mission for Elena:

To hunt down the blood-born Archangel Uram.

SPOILER END

It reads a little like a detective story, chasing down a bad guy who’s way more powerful and centuries older than you and you have your partner, an archangel. There’s adventure and humor and plenty of steam along the way. One of my favorite characters: the butler. And no, he didn’t do it. 

At the end of the book, 

after Raphael kills Uram, a severely injured Elena -- close to dying, really -- asks Raphael one of angelkind’s most forbidden secret: how vampires are made. Raphael says that angels secrete a substance that turns a mortal into an almost-immortal - a vampire. However, not all humans can process this substance without dying violently. It’s why there’s testing. Before this, a great number of humans died while being ‘made.’

Then Raphael kisses Elena,transferring a substance that’s supposed to make her a vampire… 

Cut to a year later in the Refuge, the angels’ secret hideaway where their children grow up, Elena wakes. However, she is not a vampire. She’s… an angel! 

As it turns out, the substance Raphael transferred was ‘ambrosia’ -- the mythical food of the gods. It turned Elena not into a vampire, but an angel. No one can remember this happening so she’s quite  unique -- among creatures whose love of the ‘quite unique’ can be deadly.

SPOILER END

And Nalini Singh does it again! I’m serious about her talent for building these intricate and fascinating worlds. 

You know what this series sort of reminds me? Dominion. 

Yeah, that two-season show based on the movie Legion with Paul Bettany. 

I loved the premise, but the execution fell a little flat. 

Anyway, I never really put vampires and angels together, much less angels ‘making’ vampires. If you have, please tell me which books these are and I’ll try to read them. 

Singh introduces new mythologies into the angels and archangels. The hierarchy is there: Archangels in the Cadre of Ten ruling vast lands 

and possessing different great and terrible powers, the angels who work under the archangels, the vampires who serve the angels, and the humans who are sometimes left to fend for themselves. 

I like how different the Archangels are. They’re all known to be ruthless and oftentimes cruel. Raphael is characterized as both, and is infamous for having tortured a vampire who betrayed him and left said vampire in the middle of Times Square as a warning. The others have their own quirks, but I’ll let you find out what they are when you read the series. 

I’ll tell you their names and territories though, and forgive me when I mispronounce some of the names. I’ve never heard them, and therefore have my own way of saying them: 

Zhou Lijuan

https://the-guild-hunter-series.fandom.com/wiki/Lijuan; credit to Jelena Price

the oldest, often called an Ancient, and the only one of them who has a last name ;) controls China; 

Charisemnon, Archangel of North Africa; 

Elijah, Archangel of South America and Raphael’s closest ally; 

Favashi, Archangel of Persia (for the first few books) and is the newest archangel; 

Michaela, Archangel of Central Europe and former lover of the Archangel Uram of Russia; 

Neha, Archangel of India; 

Astaad, Archangel of the Pacific Isles and 

Titus, Archangel of South Africa. 

and of course, Raphael. 

And then there’s The Seven -- Raphael’s most trusted and loyal men: 

Dmitri, a vampire, the oldest and Raphael’s closest friend; 

Naasir, a ‘vampire’ and the second youngest; 

Galen, an angel and Raphael’s weapons master, originally from the Archangel Titus’ court; 

Illium, AKA Bluebell; a blue-winged angel who grew up in Raphael’s territory in The Refuge; differently spelled, also means the largest part of the hip bone AND the former name of Troy

https://the-guild-hunter-series.fandom.com/wiki/Illium; credit to pandorangheldeviantart.com

Aodhan, AKA Sparkle; an angel and Illium’s best friend; 

Venom, (real name: Tushar) the youngest and a great cook

and 

Jason, Raphael’s spymaster and possibly one of the few angels who did not grow up in the Refuge.

And of course, Elena. She has had her own share of tragedy. I don’t want to tell you the whole story because believe me, reading it is infinitely more satisfying, but I can tell you a little bit. Her father disowned her when she was 18 because he disapproved of her joining the Guild. You see, being hunter-born, Elena didn’t exactly have a choice. If a hunter-born does not use his/her gifts, they end up going mad. She has a tragic backstory, but you’ll need to find out for yourself. 

Hunter-borns are usually the best trackers in the Guild, stronger than most humans and immune to vampires’ mind control. However, they are highly susceptible to an older, powerful vampire’s scent-lure. One consistently comic point in the series is how Dmitri, a 900-odd-year-old vampire, especially gifted with scent-lure, consistently baits Elena by wrapping her in his signature ‘perfume’ every time they meet. And every time he does this, Elena either threatens violence against him or just outright throws a dagger at him.

I also love Elena’s bond with the rest of the Guild members. Her best friend Sara Haziz, the director, is especially protective of her. Elena and Ransom Winterwolf (you gotta love these names) bicker like siblings all the time.

While the series essentially revolves around Elena and Raphael, the other characters get their moment in the sun, too. 

And since I’m a sucker for cherubs, imagine a place filled with little children -- with wings, flying around like drunken bees! You see that in the second book.

While I love all of the books, my favorite so far has to be Archangel’s Legion

This is when the big battle between Raphael and Lijuan finally happens. At the end, when all hope seems lost, 777 (and that has to mean something) Legion angels come to their rescue and turn the tide. Even better, all of these angels can regenerate FAST! Some angels have that ability, but not at that speed. 

The Legion is sworn to Elena and Raphael, who they call the aeclari. As far as I’ve read, the word means warrior, but that’s it. Neither Elena nor Raphael know, and the Legion don’t seem to know how to define it.

SPOILER END

The book that follows it, Archangel’s Prophecy

is a cliff-hanger. I mean, Elena has to be alive. She has to be.

The next book, Archangel’s War

didn’t come out until September 2019 and it’s an absolute testament to Nalini Singh that I have a countdown on all my devices for when a book of hers comes out. Thirteen books in and I’m still all a-quiver in anticipation. 

And because I wrote this script in 2019 -- intending to do this video that year as well, but didn’t -- Archangel’s War has been out for quite some time. I won’t be talking about it, but it is quite a gratifying read. There’s a part in the book that’s heartbreaking, but necessary. And that just gets to me.

Honestly, I can talk more about this since I already read the latest one, Archangel’s Sun

which came out November 2020, but I didn’t want to strain your patience. However, since this story comes in the aftermath of the war, it’s more light-hearted than the previous ones. BUT it’s the story of an unlikely pairing that’s -- think of it as a ‘mature’ romance -- only since angels don’t exactly age and are effectively immortal, the maturity I’m talking about is more of status and years lived. Seriously, it’s a great book and such a welcome relief after the heightened suspense and intensity of the previous ones.

Not that I don’t appreciate the heightened suspense and intensity of the novels, I do! It’s just that if you’re like me and get very invested in the lives of fictional characters, it CAN get a little overwhelming. So this book was a respite -- a much needed one. 

However, paranoid as I am, I feel like this is a lull. 

But I’m ready for the oncoming storm. 

And that’s it for me. Thank you for indulging me. Catch you in the next episode, when I talk about Deborah Harkness’ All Souls Trilogy starting with the first book, A Discovery of Witches, which is also a TV series.  

[kevoreally]

#BuffyAt20 - S03E09 “The Wish”

Okay, so the irony is that I actually did this #BuffyAt20 a week EARLY so I wouldn't post it late. Then vacation got away from me. Oops. I'm doing this for free, go easy on me. Anyway, here it is! Onward we roll through 'Buffy' Season 3 with a true classic - "The Wish"! So many iconic aspects to this episode. Let's dive right in!

> Okay, I’ve been giving Cordelia a pretty hard time this season, and here is her centric episode. Let’s see how this goes…

> NRRRF!

> This squddly demon is so extra.

> “Isn’t he gonna go poof?” Love it

> Oh Xander, you’re really going to be Indignant Guy right now? Eesh.

> “Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic” - a line I use a lot

> Wow, did Xander just acknowledge Buffy’s emotional trauma from Angel in a positive and non-snarky way? It’s almost like growth.

> This shot of Cordy burning the pictures in a bowl was manipulated in the commercial to make it look like her wish was a spell, I don’t know who else remembers that.

> I think it’s that, no matter how melodramatic the show becomes at times, the theme song reminds you of what it is at heart: a light, fun, camp take on horror. It really sets the tone for the show and anchors it to that theme - ha, theme, double-meaning.

> I love Willow saying Amy saw Cordy at the mall, using a recurring character and refreshing our memory on them right before they come back in 2 episodes.

> Wait - why does the whole school know Xander cheated? Unless Cordelia said something, there’s literally no reason for anyone to know outside of the Scooby Gang. THAT’S BIZARRE.

> Do love the Jonathan cameo, though.

> Seriously, Oz is the best character that ever existed on this show so far. How is that possible? I better never see a Buffy remake that removes Oz, y’all. Just make him gay too or something, IDK, lol.

> The “do I have something caught in my teeth?” ploy is still awkward and dumb twenty years later, good to know.

> Okay, but is John Lee really that scummy compared to anything Cordelia has done over the last 43 episodes?

> “a good luck charm my dad gave me” says Anya, aka: D’Hoffryn! :D

> It’s wild seeing Cordelia interact with the character who would BIZARRELY end up almost marrying Xander. Like, it’s SO WILD thinking about the things they never imagined at this point in time.

> Buffy is another one whose emotional maturity is really knocking me out right now, that she’s sympathetic to Cordelia’s plight.

> Gosh, I miss 1998.

> It’s weird to me that there’s time for this “we can’t touch hands stuff” in the same episode as Bizarro Sunnydale. How is there TIME?

> Wait - do we even see Normal Giles in this episode?? Or is it all Bizarro Giles?

> Buffy’s “sneaky” stake toss when the Cordettes walk by after she kills the vamp is hysterical.

> That cut where Cordelia says her problem is Buffy Summers is SO AWKWARD.

> Yeah, we’re 15 minutes into a 45 minute episode - there’s a full 30 minutes in Bizarro Sunnydale. That makes more sense.

> I WAS RIGHT, apart from I think a few seconds at the end we don’t see Normal Giles in this episode once! Huh!

> “She was like… a good fairy.” Oh Cordy.

> Cordelia’s dress in this episode, the blue one, actually is bizarre. It’s like an evening gown.

> “Ted Cherviin just totally went for third with Ginger in front of everybody!” - being 12 when this aired, and also gay, I didn’t fully get what third base was yet. But now I do. And DAAAAAMN!

> This teacher is actually kind of hot, what’s his deal…

> Cordelia is talking SO LOUDLY about being from another reality. Where is her head??

> Is Cordelia even slightly sad that Xander and Willow are dead, do you think? Because we don’t really get much of a reaction there.

> “My auto! El convertablo?” OMIGOD, CORDELIA.

> Wow, once again, they are getting hella use out of this Main Street set.

> Do I find Xander hot as a vampire? Hmm.

> Wow, “Bored Now” is DoppelWillow’s first words.

> DoppelWillow is sort of a refined impression of Drusilla. And that’s okay, even! Just, noteworthy.

> The White Hats was the coolest part of this episode. Oz and Larry and Nancy who would later appear in Episode 19 as a student. Holy shit. I’m not saying I hate it, just that it isn’t entirely *scary.*

> The vampire den of sin trope was already pretty tired by the time this came to Buffy, and “Dead Soul Man” didn’t do it any favors either.

> OH MAN, the Master’s return was mind-blowing.

> The Master was stuck underground for, like, 80 years, and has only been back out for barely 2, and he’s bored of hunting again? What?

> Giles’s little JUMP from the Library’s upper level is intense.

> It’s wild but this episode STARTS as Cordelia centric and then, upon her death, becomes weirdly DoppelGiles’s story? This version of Giles is the hero of this story. All would’ve been lost if he didn’t thwart Anyanka. But we’ll get to that…

> Although Giles SHOULD know that Cordelia won’t be turned into a vampire and doesn’t need to be incinerated, it is consistent with the first episode that he isn’t sure. That’s pretty interesting.

> OMigod I almost forgot Angel is “the puppy.”

> “Yes, I’m aware that there’s a great deal of demonic activity in Cleveland. It happens, you know, that Sunnydale is on a Hellmouth. It is so!” This is literally one of the funniest lines of the whole fucking show, and that Cleveland bit has always been a fan favorite joke, which is why Giles references it in the series finale.

> HOW IS ANGEL’S HAIR STILL GELLED UP AS A TORTURE SLAVE??

> He’s also, like, extra wimpy.

> I might find DoppelXander scarier than DoppelWillow.

> even in Bizarro World, Larry is kind of a misogynist and Giles has a shitty car.

> EEEY! Buffy’s back! She misses about 1/3 of the episode.

> I am always a sucker for wonky alternate timelines that need to be reset, not gonna lie…

> If Giles knows he has to destroy the power source and he has it, why isn’t he just doing it? Like, RIGHT NOW?

> This Buffy is gross.

> Buffy’s not wrong - they know where the vampires nest, they could just firebomb the place during the day.

> Aww the Caged Dude from earlier is dead now. I think they were going for dark but he could just as easily be a different white boy so it’s hard to feel that one. Should’ve been Jonathan.

> Seriously, how does Angel’s hair look like that?

> If the Master rose, didn’t the Hellmouth open? Where’d those demons go?

> Oh man - is the Master’s blood factory supposed to be THE factory?? Like, Spike and Drusilla’s? Holy shit, I don’t think I ever caught that before. I hope so!

> I’m only annoyed that Giles is doing this ritual and summoning Anyanka and all this stuff when he, like, HAD the necklace? And in later seasons, all you have to do is smash?

> WOOF, this blood machine is pretty fucking horrifying, when you really think about it. That chick is very much alive.

> HA! The Master using Xander as a shield is great.

> “your only power lies in the wishing” “WRONG” HA!

> the way Buffy stomps up to the Master is a bit… silly, haha

> this score here, “Slayer’s Elegy,” is why once again I will always love Christophe Beck.

> Wow, so even in this time like, the prophecy that the Master will kill Buffy comes to pass.

> The tiny bits of Anya in this episode really show how the writers could’ve fallen in love with her.

> Yeah, there’s Normal Giles! But only for a minute.

> OH WOW, those last 7 minutes really flew by, to be honest. This isn’t always the strongest episodes, but I definitely think there’s something special about it.

> Next up: CHRISTMAS!!!!

[jennycalendar]

Imperfections (7/?)

!!! new chapter!!!

it’s also on ao3

“Nice place,” Faith commented. They were in one of the cemeteries closer to the high school tonight; Ms. Calendar and the Scooby crew were hitting the one Faith and Buffy had done last week. “Do you ever catch kids doing the diddy out here?”

“No,” Buffy replied easily. Faith liked the way Buffy’s voice sounded when it wasn’t closed-off and self-righteous. “There's a smooch spot up by the woods. That's usually where kids go.”

“Yeah?” It was weird, because Faith was usually bad at names, but she perfectly remembered the name of Buffy’s boyfriend. “Bet you and Scott have been up there kicking the gearshift,” she teased, and gave Buffy a playful grin.

Buffy gave her a reluctantly amused smile back. “Hardly,” she said, and Faith found herself grinning more. “Only been on a few dates.”

“But you like him,” Faith persisted, half teasing Buffy and half seeking out something she wasn’t quite sure of yet. “And when you think about him, you get that good, down-low tickle, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Buffy agreed a little vaguely, “but...” She trailed off, giving Faith a look. “How low?”

Faith grinned. “You tell me.”

“How about not?” said Buffy with a laugh in her voice. She smiled, almost to herself. “But he is nice, and he's funny.”

“And quite a muffin,” Faith added lightly, smiling at Buffy. She felt a strange kind of tug when Buffy smiled playfully back at her.

“Blueberry,” Buffy agreed cheerfully. “That crunchy, munchy stuff on top. But my most favorite thing so far is that he doesn't seem to be any kind of hell beast.”

Faith was really starting to wonder about this Angel guy if Buffy was saying things like that. “All men are beasts, Buffy,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical till I was at least forty,” said Buffy, still in that casually playful tone.

“It's not cynical,” Faith continued, careful to keep her tone level. She was serious, but she got the sense that Buffy didn’t realize that. “I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” said Buffy uncomfortably.

Faith wanted to press the subject, but got the sense that doing so might lose her whatever tentative ground she seemed to have gained with Buffy. She decided to talk about something else. “So I’m living with Ms. Calendar now,” she said abruptly.

“Ooh, that’s nice,” said Buffy, looking visibly relieved at the change of subject. “She’s really cool.”

Faith nodded slowly. “Yeah,” she said. “What went down with her?”

Buffy’s expression faltered. “What?”

“I don’t know,” Faith shrugged nonchalantly. She wasn’t ready to bring up any of her conversation with Ms. Calendar in the kitchen, but she did want to know what Buffy knew about Ms. Calendar. She felt weird about straight-up asking Ms. Calendar what had happened to her, and why, but maybe if she found out through someone else— “She just seems kinda nervous at night, that’s all,” said Faith finally.

Buffy hesitated, then, “You know, it’s really not my place to talk about Ms. Calendar. I’m sure she’d be super upset if she—”

“Aw, come on, B,” Faith persisted, trying her best to do the whole gentle-teasing thing even though she really did want to know. “No one’s listening. Just you and me and the night sky.”

Buffy pressed her lips together. Then, slowly, “There was a vampire, a-and he had a soul. A moral compass. He wasn’t a danger to anyone as long as he knew right from wrong. Ms. Calendar got sent here to make sure he kept that soul, only she didn’t know that he could lose it.”

“Sent here?” Faith repeated.

“By her family,” said Buffy. “They didn’t do a super good job of informing her.” She smiled weakly, as though trying to lighten the mood. “Anyway, we all—we kind of blamed her for the vampire losing his soul, when he did, because he tried to—to hurt. Some of us.” The way she was telling the story was strange and jerky, and it made Faith think that there was a detail she was leaving out, but the story made enough sense for Faith not to poke any more than she had already. “So Ms. Calendar tried to fix things. Give the vampire back his soul.”

“And the vampire didn’t like that,” Faith finished. “What happened to him?”

“Dead,” said Buffy, in a way that very clearly indicated that that was all Faith was going to hear about that part of the story. “But not before he left his mark on Ms. Calendar.”

“Literally,” said Faith without thinking.

Buffy gave her a funny look. “What?”

“Nothing,” said Faith hastily. Now it was her turn to scramble to cover things up. “Man, poor Ms. C. I’ll try not to be too hard on her.”

She tried to imagine anyone giving a soul to a vampire. She tried to imagine anyone trying to give that vampire its soul back instead of killing it. Second chances. That was what Ms. Calendar seemed to be about, even now. If Faith had gone through something like that, she sure as hell wouldn’t be all that inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about Ms. Calendar now that she knew this. It didn’t make her like Ms. Calendar any more or any less, not really. All it made her think was that Ms. Calendar was kind of stupid to trust people so easily, and the fact that her trust was given so freely made Faith angry (and, in a weird way, jealous).

Didn’t matter, anyway. With an attitude like that, Ms. Calendar would end up inviting some poor, downtrodden vampire in, and then Faith would show up to find Ms. Calendar lying in a pool of blood on that nice kitchen floor of hers. Faith shrugged off thoughts of Ms. Calendar and turned her eyes back to the cemetery ahead.

“Murder,” said Rupert quite seriously, coming into Jenny’s classroom.

“Oh, hi, boyfriend,” said Jenny with some exasperation. “Boyfriend who is interrupting my class with murder. Go outside, Rupert.” There was a light titter from the class at this.

“Jenny, it’s urgent,” said Rupert pointedly.

“Is anyone going to be murdered if you wait five minutes to tell me?” said Jenny, who had been through this kind of thing at least ten times over the course of her career as Girlfriend To A Watcher, which (contrary to popular belief) was nearly as much of a job as the one that actually paid the bills.

“Well—”

“Go,” said Jenny, and all but pushed him out of the door, turning back to the class. She was trying her best to set a positive example for the students, and ducking out of class on what could be interpreted as a romantic rendezvous with her lover was definitely not a thing she wanted to model. “All right,” she said. “I’m going to walk around the class and check your assignments from last week, and then we’re going to review the programming basics we covered yesterday, okay?”

She let the class out three minutes earlier than she had to, mostly because she really was concerned about whatever it was Rupert was trying to tell her. It wasn’t of serious urgency, or he would have pushed her into coming outside with him, so she wasn’t concerned about that. Opening the door again, she saw Rupert standing outside and looking miffed. “Don’t make that face at me,” she said with exasperated fondness. “You should know not to interrupt when I’m teaching a class. And maybe don’t open with murder when you’re coming into a room.”

Rupert nodded, his irritation giving way to embarrassment. “You’re right,” he agreed. “I apologize. I was—merely tense regarding a possible development with Oz.”

“What, did Oz murder someone?” Jenny asked skeptically. When Rupert’s face didn’t change, she felt her annoyance give way to worry. “You’re not serious.”

“It’s still very indefinite,” Rupert explained, beginning to head towards the library. Jenny followed. “Xander swears he was here all night, but—”

“It is Xander,” Jenny finished as Rupert opened the library doors for her.

“I heard that,” said Xander.

“And I meant that in the best possible way, Xander,” said Jenny smoothly. “Care to brief me on what’s going on?”

[thenewbuzwuzz]

Title: A Hundred Tiny Silver Deer Rating: T Words: ~3.6 K Ship: Spuffy Setting: BtVS season 7, in a manner of speaking Summary: Dimension-hopping Spuffy try to figure out what is wrong with season 7. Instead, they find out how to make everything more trippy and medieval.

Repost time! Linked above, on Dreamwidth, is my chapter of the recent Elysian Fields collaborative surrealism party, Exquisite Consequences. I think it's possible to enjoy each chapter separately -- after all, I hadn't read the previous chapters when I wrote it. The first paragraph is my prompt, written by relurker. The chapter title is from Tennyson's "The Last Tournament". I also borrow heavily from canon BtVS dialogue and a certain classic love story that is named in the chapter. A big thank you to Double Dutchess for the coherence beta! I have made a bunch of minor edits since the Elysian Fields version, BUT, if you read this and fall into a plot hole or anything else in particular bothers you, I'd appreciate a holler. I'm sure there's plenty left to clean up before reposting to AO3. One can also read it here, because why not:

“No, you’re right. Every time realities mix, it’s like playing dice with nitroglycerin. You’ll go back to your world in a minute, and reality will be a little different. I don’t know how much of this you’ll remember, or how much of your reality will be different. Extreme times… you know how it goes.” Dawn’s eyes were very bright, too. “Now, you two. Hold hands, close your eyes, and when I say the word, you’ll be in your own place. Bazinga!”

*** Buffy woke up feeling warm and happy, and a bit pleasantly sore. Her nose was smooshed up against... Spike. There was a light touch on her hair that stopped when she stirred. She opened her eyes to see Spike hovering his hand like he wasn’t sure where to put it. She took it in her hand and beamed at him. “Good morning!” Spike seemed to unfreeze. He put his other arm around her and held her close. “Best morning of my life,” he said after a moment. “You remember, then?” Buffy remembered lots of things. They were all jumbled together. Some of it was definitely a dream, thank goodness. (Spike streaming with light like a disco ball, wearing an ugly necklace.) Some of it, she wasn’t sure. (Could cheetahs really do that? And when had she resolved to visit a vineyard? She didn’t even like wine.) “I remember that you have my back,” she told him. “I remember making love to you.” He gave her a breathtaking, unguarded smile. Had she seen that smile before? It felt like she saw it for the first time. Wait, she’d been saying something. “And I remember saying bye to Dawn. Something about mixing realities. She was sending us home, but she said something might be changed.” Spike nodded. “Doesn’t look much like home, does it?” She looked around. “I can see why. There’s not a skull in sight.” They were in a room illuminated by indirect sunlight. The bedclothes were a rich blue and brown with a pattern like leaves or ferns. There were some candles and books and an armchair. “Yeah, I don't know this house. But I know who we are, so this isn’t a Randy and Joan day.” “Well, no randier than usual.” Buffy groaned. “You had to, didn’t you? But, y’know, there is something wrong with this reality. We’re in bed, with clothes. Who does that? There should be no clothes.” So they fixed the timeline. *** Afterwards, they got dressed and made their way to Revello Drive, which turned out to be only a couple of blocks away. Something was definitely off about this reality. Tucker's brother lived with Buffy, for one. So, apparently, did everyone else. There was a bunch of girls calling Buffy “the General” when they thought she didn't hear. And that First Evil loser, which Buffy had met in the real world back when Angel lived in Sunnydale, was apparently still a thing here. This reality’s Scoobies even had little tricks for distinguishing between one of them and absolute evil. What a fun place. “So, really, what you're saying is that we should keep our hands on each other at all times.” She slid her hand into Spike's back pocket. “Ah, thank you, you’ve hit upon the exact opposite of what I would suggest,” Giles said. Yeesh, these Scoobies had issues with Spike. Good thing that Buffy hadn’t taken the opinions of the local Scoobies seriously for a few realities in a row now. Dawn spoke up, “Buffy, don’t you remember what Spike did to you?” “No? I bet this Spike didn’t. I mean, of course he tried to kill me! He’s Spike. But that was years ago, and I’m over it. He has helped us all so much. What’s your problem, people?” “Oh.” Dawn considered. “So he hasn’t, like, tried to make you do anything you didn’t want?” “Pfft. Like he could.” “I wouldn’t hurt Buffy,” Spike said, “not unless she asked me to.” “Eww, Spike, I don’t need to know that,” Dawn said, but she was already grinning. She hugged Spike. “I missed you.” Not trusting Spike, imagine that. Wasn’t it so last season? Or month? Or at least last week? She wasn’t clear on the timeline. “Oh, wait! I haven’t told you guys! See, in our reality, Spike has a special chip that would trigger a headache if he tried to hurt people. He’s safe!” “Thanks ever so,” Spike said and rolled his eyes. Buffy checked under his shirt to see if he was corporeal there, too. He was. Spike pinched her. “Just checking you're not the source of all evil.” “So what’s the verdict? Is my butt evil?” “No.” He leaned closer to her. “It’s all things good and warm and delicious, like all the rest of you.” “Uh huh.” She suppressed a shiver. “You sure you’re not just peckish?” Giles had said some more words while they were doing their part for the war on evil, and Buffy debated asking what those words were. But just then, Faith walked in with even more girls, carrying weapons. They’d been out patrolling, Faith said, but couldn’t remember why they’d gone in broad daylight. It had ended well, though. While regrouping, they’d heard a distant underground explosion and found a whole arsenal of goodies, only protected by a few Bringers. “Hey, you’re just in time, guys,” someone piped up at the kitchen door. It was that twitchy guy who quoted movies all the time. The one who had teared up when Spike asked him who he was. Tucker’s brother. “I made an early lunch,” he said and gestured with oven mitts. The aroma of deep-fried onions followed in his wake. “You were right, Spike, ice water really helped.” After a lot of delicious, calorie-laden food, Buffy decided to follow the nagging feeling that she should be at a vineyard. It paid off. They beat up some Bringers easily, just like the last time she remembered, and Buffy got to King Arthur a battleaxe out of a rock. After some research, Giles and Willow told her the axe was originally supposed to be a scythe. Another reality change, then. As long as they were all going to be this harmless... *** Things got murkier when Angel arrived out of the blue and gave Buffy an amulet that looked oddly familiar. At least he didn’t want to stay and chat once he saw that Sunnydale wasn’t as apocalyptic as he’d thought. “It has a purifying power and a cleansing power, and, bonus, it bestows strength,” Buffy recited to the group after Angel was gone. “What is that about? I don’t think anyone here needs to be purified.” “Prefer me dirty, Slayer? Mutual,” Spike said and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Something clicked. “Spike,” she said. That’s where she had seen the necklace before. “You wore this in my dream. There was... a lot of fire. You were talking about cleanup, and everything was collapsing. I think you were on fire, too.” A dark-haired girl who’d introduced herself as Shannon spoke up. “It kind of sounds like what that creepy preacher guy said when he drove me here. A cleansing fire? He said it would cure the world of weakness.” Everyone went silent. “It’s okay, unfamiliar girl,” Anya finally said. “It’s not your fault the deranged clergyman died in a car crash, even if he was distracted because you were talking to him. And you never know, maybe he deserved it.” She gave Shannon an encouraging smile. Giles winced. “Anya’s right about one thing. We cannot avert every tragedy, only do our best.” “I’ve heard this before, though,” Willow said, hunched small. “About cleansing fires and letting them burn away souls and bring death.” Giles made a thinky noise. Sometimes Buffy was just so happy she had a Giles on her side. “I agree, we can’t rule out a connection to the Proserpexa temple on Kingman’s Bluff.” “So this amulet thing sounds pretty dodgy?” Buffy summed up. It was more of a hunch than anything, but more of her dreams were coming back, and she didn’t like them one bit. “It’s not impossible that Angel thought he was helping,” Giles said generously. “He has been misled before about what help, uh, entails. Of course, we may be able to discover more about the artifact with some research. There may be a use for it yet.” “Right. Thanks,” Buffy said. She handed the necklace over to Giles and caught Spike’s eye. “They put the spark in me, and all it does is burn,” she said quietly. “That’s what you said in my dream. And you were smoking, Spike. As in, there was smoke rising from you. Don’t do that.” Xander said, “You know what they say. You’re a fool if you think smoking is cool.” There was a hint of real concern in his voice. “And there’s more.” They had felt like Slayer dreams, now that Buffy thought of it. “I remember a phrase. Someone was telling you, ‘Touch her, you’re gonna wake up on fire.’ I think they meant me.” “Well, I’d say I’ve touched you all right,” Spike said. “We should find out what’s up with this,” Buffy said. “Could it be realities mixing together? Dawn told us – not you, the Dawn in the other reality – that what we did was like playing dice with explosives. I want to know for sure if my dice are going to explode, you know? Or anyone else for that matter.” She grasped Spike’s hand more tightly. *** “Okay, there’s the shadow of Jonathan’s old charisma spell,” Willow said half under her breath, sitting cross-legged with her eyes shut, “and this is the monks’ spell for Dawn. I think this might be traces of Sweet, gee, there’s a lot of wishes being made lately… actually, all of this stuff might not be wishes. It’s like patchwork around here. I’m sorry, Buffy, I’m not sure I could see a reality mixing into ours even if it was right in front of me. Wait, well, there is this thing… I’m not sure what it is.” She paused. “It doesn’t look like an alternate reality exactly, but it’s not anything else I know.” “Well, what does it look like?” Buffy was pacing. “Kind of similar to Sweet’s singing spell. Neater and less detailed than the other ones. It’s probably not a full world, but more like a pattern, like maybe something based on a story.” “That’s the penalty when life is but a song,” Dawn said like she was just remembering something. “Quite right, those were Sweet’s words,” Giles said. “We did all see that exposure to artistic reality changes can lead to combustion.” Willow repurposed the shadow caster to work as a portal to the reality she’d seen, so they could step in and investigate. She said it was a Prose Portal. Apparently, she’d read about those in England in some grimoire called “The Eyre Affair”. Willow said it would be easiest for Spike to enter the portal, because the story world was already linked to him. Buffy could follow. They said bye to everyone for the time being. Even Xander clapped Spike on the shoulder. “Hey, if you see any fluffy dragons in there, remember to grab one on your way out. We could use a luck dragon.” *** Spike floated in and out of scenes as if in a dream. Someone was reading a story to him. Maybe it was his mother, or maybe just the voice that he usually heard in his own head when reading – in any case, it was a voice he trusted and gladly followed. Some of the time, he saw himself from a distance, acting the story out. He loved a queen who wasn’t his to wed. His lady belonged to no king, true. It was to the graveyard that she returned faithfully every night, her sacred calling the only vow she had taken. But her golden hair shone brighter than that of any king’s bride. The wine was drugged. It let thorny love take root in his blood, and with it, sweet-smelling, sunlit death. Or was it that the blood was drugged? It was too late, at any rate. He’d already drunk it, felt it burn in his throat and all the way down to his gut (god, no, please, no). “Well, then, come, death,” they both said and gave themselves over to love. And all around them, the walls, the floor, the ceiling cracked and broke. He was in a bathtub, and she was threatening him with a sword. He’d killed her kin, it was true, but (he tried to explain) it was always a fair fight. By right of combat, he’d hold his own against anyone who dared say he was in the wrong. They were holding trial by combat right now, not against her, someone else, in a room decked with crosses (God their witness). He won, because he was right. Her castle was fenced with sharp stakes, but he leapt over them every night to send her messages. When enough water had flowed by in the stream, she would come out to meet him, he knew it. Alone in the wilderness, they slept on a bed of leaves and ferns, side by side yet chastely distant, a naked blade between them. In the morning, they found a new weapon in its place, red blade proudly curved, fit for a king. Many deeds he had done for her, and his madness was from her alone. He walked back home to her, barefoot, a fool, and she told him she knew him not. The other, more pleasant Iseult (Wait, who? He meant Buffy.) tried to soothe him and heal him with her soft, white hands. “Have I done something wrong?” she asked. He told her, “Just be Buffy.” A dragon returned every year to Buffy’s town, collecting tribute. It was a matter of time before it claimed her. The right thing was to volunteer as a sacrifice, so she wouldn’t have to fight. After all, his life was rightfully hers, because she had returned it. They’d drunk love mixed with death long ago. He knew how to make the story end right. It had been worth it. *** Buffy was good at dreams when she put her mind to it. She kept a dream diary, so she could remember her Slayer dreams in more detail. After the First Slayer attacked them all, Buffy had started practising ways of telling whether she was dreaming or not. She hadn’t wanted to be caught off guard again. So when she floated into the dreamlike story world and saw the air shimmer golden, something registered as slightly suspicious at the back of her mind. She was in a crumbling house. She’d had magic weed, and it was taking root in her blood. If she wasn’t careful, all her fingers would sprout purple, sweet-smelling sage flowers through the ruins, and everyone would know that she was in love with her death. The scene changed. Spike was in a bathtub, and she was threatening him with a sword. She remembered this, but it wasn’t quite right. He was supposed to be in chains, and she should be threatening him with blood. Wait, that didn’t make sense either. Was she dreaming? She jumped and watched herself float down slowly. She was dreaming. Or something like it. Now she remembered going into the alternate reality with Spike. She looked up, meaning to tell Spike what was going on, but he had disappeared. She flew around the dreamlike world and looked for Spike. Lots of forests, fortresses, and small towns. Not enough Spike. She found a cliff instead. There was a cave, and near the mouth of the cave, Spike was trying to put some chains on himself. They kept slipping off. She walked up and grabbed the chains to free him. He yanked them back. “Respect the narrative flow, would you! I want to see how it ends.” “Oh, no, you don’t. I say it’s not ending this way.” “I’m not afraid, Buffy,” he said and smiled. “I would, you know, for the right person? For you.” “I don’t want you to die for me!” Buffy yelled. Silence rang. What the hell. It was only a dream. “I want to live with you,” she added. Spike blinked. He pinched himself. “Am I dreaming?” he asked. “Yes!” she said. “Or close enough. I mean, I meant it, but also, you’re dreaming. And you really, really need to snap out of it.” The chains disappeared. “I’m not asking you for anything, you know,” he said, his eyes warm. She was on a throne now, and he was kneeling. “When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you…” “Well, why the fuck not? What’s wrong with wanting me?” “You’re missing the point, Slayer.” He sounded more like himself. “No, you’re missing the point! We’re going home! Together. Got it?” Spike finally seemed to come to his senses. He got up and looked around. “So this is where all the fire bollocks came from, is it?” Buffy nodded. She was so relieved to talk to Spike without thrones or misused chains. “Why fire, though? There isn’t anything really fiery here, so why was it that way back home?” “Well, what else does death look like for a vampire?” “Point,” Buffy said. “I guess it’s harder to have prophetic dreams about wood.” Spike started to waggle his eyebrows, but then there was a roar and a rumble. Something was coming out of the cave. A muzzle and a pair of round ears appeared, along with eyes that seemed to fairly glow with evil intent. It was a bear. “What is it with the bears?” Spike exclaimed. “I could live for decades at a time without running into one, until I met you. I hold you accountable, Slayer.” “Undo it, undo it,” Buffy said smiling and hefted her red axe. “I’d like to see you keep your calm when you’re trussed up like some sacrificial virgin and one of these things comes at you. Did you know they can decapitate a moose in one go?” The bear was half out of the cave now. It turned to stare at them with bright red eyes and huffed. Fire shot out of its nostrils. It was the greenest, most scaly bear Buffy had ever seen. “Wait,” Spike said, suddenly grinning. “You’re not a bear at all, are you, beastie?” He bounced on his heels and unsheathed his sword. “Spike. How is it good news that it can breathe fire?” “Aw, don’t tell me you never wanted to slay a dragon.” The creature’s skin glittered in the sunlight, covered in black, yellowish green, and transparent crystals. A long tail dragged behind it. “Dragon slaying it is, then. I mean, someone’s got to save the world from this fashion disaster. Glittery snakeskin overalls? So seventies.” And then it was on. The red blade sang through the air, Buffy’s muscles sang with the weight of the axe, and, though she might not have phrased it that way in another world, her heart sang to feel Spike fighting beside her. They weren’t getting anywhere, though. Spike had managed to leap aside from the flames every time so far, but the dragon’s skin was too tough. “Wait a mo,” Spike said when they retreated to rest for the third time. The dragon rumbled its way towards them like the world’s slowest rock avalanche. “I know this dragon. The head of a bear and red eyes like coals of fire… say, do its ears look tufted to you?” “Definite tufting vibe,” Buffy said. “Thought so. This fellow is from the Romance of Tristan and Iseult. ...Explains a lot, actually. Well, we’re not going to have any luck cutting its skin, and the saliva is poisonous.” “Any other good news?” Spike muttered something rhythmic under his breath, keeping the beat with one hand. “It will die if we shove a sword down its throat.” “Neat. What doesn’t.” “But we’ve got to be careful and not touch its tongue.” They made short work of the dragon, so that all the more time was left for wacky dream sex that defied everything: physics, description, and the status quo. “Okay, how do we get out of here?” Buffy said eventually, as they snuggled on the cave floor that could only be so comfortable in a dream or story. A map appeared in her hands. It was blank apart from a label that said, “BUSH”. “It's retrograde,” a white rat said from the deep end of the cave, “but that's… that's okay!” Buffy rotated the map, and it began to change like a kaleidoscope, along with the walls of the cave. Every stretch of wall bloomed with colorful tapestries of… her and Spike, in the best rendition of some textile artist. Buffy in a black beanie, standing side by side with Spike while the unconscious body of a six-headed lion draped over what was probably meant to be a car. Buffy hugging Spike, a wide grin on her face and a ring glittering on her finger. The two of them lying naked on the floor behind strategically placed pieces of rubble, in the ruins of a building that looked oddly fortress-like. Sitting on the porch while a porcupine creature squatted in the grass… had that been there? More and more tapestries appeared, and Buffy knew each one was a door, the way you know things in dreams for no reason. With a quite different certainty, she knew they’d be fine wherever they went together. Buffy and Spike smiled at each other and stepped through time hand in hand.