#shape our politics and culture. fuck off

[intheholler]

So i'm not quite in Appalachia, but i do live in a pretty rural region and people visiting the area keep telling me how they appreciate how not redneck I am, or as one person put it "civilized", or talking about how everyone's a greasy mullet hillbilly round here then turning to me and going "oh but not you" and honestly it's the most insulting shit anyone's done to me.

(to make it extra fucked up, when I ask them to elaborate on what they mean they say it's cause i'm polite, leftist, and smart....)

Any recommendations on how to keep people from doing this shit?

i wish you could see what my face was doing while i read this. some people's kids, man.

"civilized?" excuse me? like bitch go home and stop wasting our resources and our time if that's what you think. why are they even there??

like yes i, too, enjoy walking into someone's home and making sweeping, insulting assumptions about their entire culture in polite conversation, directly to their face. assholes.

im so mad for you lol. how insulting. idt those kinds of people are ever gonna stop unless someone starts shutting that shit down when they try it. flip a switch and let your uncivilized, impolite redneck fly

"you're so [ compliment that apparently sets you apart ]" would be met by one of a few responses from me depending on my mood

"so are all of those gross greasy mullet hillbillies around here you just dismissed, actually. only difference is i've been forced, by people like you, to learn to put on a show and shape my mouth the right way in order to keep you happy so as not to get insulted for no fucking reason"

or perhaps more concisely

(but not you) "no, it's me too; this is my home. those are my people. but im glad to know what you really think about me"

most likely id probably just gape in awe at the absolute audacity and say go home you fucking leech :) how's that for civilized.

UGH. do you live in a touristy area by chance? i got all kinds of condescending comments like that, that they clearly thought were compliments, back when i worked at a hotel off a major highway :/

sorry you have to deal with this so often. the lack of self awareness in some folks i swear

[crookedorel]

zinnia : how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ? has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ? >:)

Okay let's talk about loss, actually. Loss is such an important theme in Shadows of Valentia, and in the character arcs of its entire cast. If I were feeling ambitious I'd argue that loss and the way that it's handled is The Theme, which shaped the forming of the nations, to kicking off the plot, and the negative space of each of the cast's loss is so visible and apparent in every action they take, like an embrace of those they don't want to or can't forget. 

But that's an essay for another time. 

Berkut being one of the major antagonists, and foil to the two protagonists, his losses affect the plot just as heavily. There is of course the obvious, and we'll discuss those in a minute, but I actually want to discuss a loss that doesn't get brought up in-game but has such clear and disastrous ramifications for Valentia as a whole. 

Because you see, when Berkut was a boy, his father died. 

(Cut for length. You know how it goes. SOV spoilers as well)

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Oh, boo hoo, this is Dead Father the Series, and you don't see anyone else letting themselves get possessed by a war god and sacrificing their loved ones' souls for greater power." And you're right! But bear with me, because there's more to it than that. 

To start putting this into context, I'm going to pull from Valentia Accordion (the Berkut entry in which was translated by our very own Ree, here's your crown regent 👑). We learn from Berkut's section that before his father's passing, Berkut was a timid boy, to the point that even riding horseback made him cry - and after his father's passing, his mother raised him quite strictly, to harden him up so that none could tease him for growing up without a father. 

As with most things Valentia, this is such a dense sentence, so let's unpack it a bit.  

Obviously that's a fucked up thing to expect, that your child will be harassed for having lost a parent, but kids are cruel, and from this sentence we learn that Rigel values patrilineal lines, and to an extreme extent. Since they're the imperial family with very few heirs, it seems incredibly unlikely that Berkut's father married below his station (bordering on impossible – this is no Meghan Markle situation) - and since Berkut obviously ended up the crown prince, the heir to the empire barring any usurpers, his mother clearly retained influence within the imperial court during her time there, as noble and mother to the future Emperor. 

And yet, a single mother, even widowed, still casts a shameful shadow in Rigel. We do not learn how Berkut's father died, but I'm of the opinion it was illness, for a couple of reasons: first, we have historical precedent. Generally in monarchical families that have multiple sons, the first (the heir) learns military affairs and politics, the better to ascend the throne or position when the time comes – the second (the spare) would then learn ecclesiastical affairs and gain a position in the religious affairs of the state, the better to support his brother further down the line. 

Secondly, his death is implied to be something to be ashamed of, something that children would tease Berkut for. Though misogyny runs strong in many cultures, it doesn't seem enough that his mother would be concerned that his father dying on its own would be enough that Berkut would need to toughen up. Given that Rigel has such a strong martial culture, and the hard turn that Berkut's mother imposed upon him after her husband's death, it would follow that for men, there is one acceptable death: battle. 

As we know, I don't put a lot of stock into Heroes' characterization, but occasionally they give us nice little nuggets, such as this one, from A Splendid Soiree level 40: 

Unlike his older brother the emperor, my father was a kind, gentle man. He passed ere I was 10 years old. My mother smiled often when I was small.  

If nothing else, it seemed, Berkut's mother was determined to ensure that, for better or worse, Berkut did not end up like his father. 

And he didn't. Kind and gentle are not words that I would associate with Berkut, except specifically when he's interacting with Rinea – but even with that influence, we see that he is definitely a young man shaped by his upbringing, and by the culture around him. He's eager to fight, even to the point of what I would consider emotional immaturity – he's unable to see human lives for what they are, and when he first meets Alm he refers to the battle as practice, as sport, as exercise, like it's just a game that he's playing. 

I think it's this disconnect that he has, this inability or the inexperience to actively practice empathy (decidedly not a value in Rigel), that makes him so susceptible to outside influences: be that Rigelian people or culture as a whole, or Rudolf's or his mother's, Duma's or Nuibaba's, or even Fernand's. 

Yes, Fernand's. Despite the fact that Fernand is a political prisoner, it is undeniable that he has more worldly experience (in and out of wartime) than Berkut by the simple fact of his age. We don't have an official age for him, but we can get a good guestimate based on Clive and Mathilda's ages – 27 and 28, respectively. A full decade, at the very least, older than Berkut.  

Now, this is not to say, of course, that Fernand knowingly exerted any influence over Berkut, or manipulated him – but it is to say that teenagers of Berkut's general disposition are eager to show off, and will adjust the behaviors they display in order to impress the people around them, especially those who are older or more experienced. And with Fernand himself leaning so idealistic, wanting to see something specific, it seems clear to me that natural showman Berkut was eager to mold himself into that, and to show it off at any opportunity. 

Which, by the way, is something that Berkut is shown doing throughout the game, in each of his appearances – mirroring the expectations presented to him, molding himself to fit into whatever those opposite him have decided he should be, and being so proud that he gets a good grade in being manipulated. 

Now, I know it seems like we're getting off topic, and that I'm trying to avoid the elephant in the room, but I promise I'm not – this is all incredibly important context for what comes next, which of course that he, under the influence of Duma's possession, sacrifices Rinea. 

 By this point, he has lost to Alm multiple times – with an audience, no less – he has called upon the magic pushed on him by breaking the mirror Nuibaba gave him, and he has learned that this stranger who has been defeating him all over the country is actually the one who is supposed to be the emperor's heir. Not only has Alm beaten him in battle in front of someone Berkut wanted to impress, but he has, seemingly without any of the effort Berkut has been putting in over the last several years to gain Rudolf's favor, jumped the line of succession, and is coming to take not just Rigel, but Berkut's father figure. 

The second father he has lost. 

Watching the scene wherein Duma fully possesses Berkut, or even just reading the script, you can feel that the ground ready to open under his feet, and his grip over his own mental autonomy is tenuous at best. He is paranoid, he lashes out, and most importantly, he's confused. The scene begins by explicitly telling us that he does not know how he arrived at Duma Temple, and he is immediately beset by Duma's presence, the voice of a god offering the power that Berkut has felt slipping from his fingers. 

Whether he explicitly accepted Duma, or whether Duma forced his way in, we do not know. What we do know, however, is that the change in his personality is immediate and obvious. Both Rinea and Fernand clock that whoever is speaking, it isn't the Berkut they know – by this point, though, it's too late, and he attacks and heavily injures both of them, with Fernand making it far enough to warn Alm, and with Rinea being sacrificed to Duma. 

However much of Berkut remained during his battle of Alm, it's clear from his battle quote that all of these losses, one right after another, lined up in a perfect queue of dominoes, and gripped him until his death: 

You… You took…everything from me. You will SUFFER for what you’ve done! 

Then, after his defeat: 

Alm: Why, Berkut? To have finally found family after all this time… Why did it come to this?!  Berkut: Heh… I have no family…nor do I want for one. 

To put a bow on the series of tragedies that shaped Berkut into a man he didn't want to be, the family and companionship that he so desperately needed had arrived, had knocked the sense back into him just in time for him to die. 

But not before one final chastisement, from the one person who had never asked him to be anything except himself: 

Rinea: Dear, proud Berkut… Even without crown or throne or castle… You were ever my emperor. A just, right, and noble man…  Berkut: Rinea…  Rinea: You were born to lead… This just wasn’t your empire. So come with me now. Let us find our empire together. If you’ll still take me for your empress?  Berkut: You’re right… You were always right. The moment I turned to a power beyond myself, the man you loved was dead. Rinea, forgive me… If you’ll have me, I’d be honored to…set out with you… 

For better or worse, from his mother's influence, Berkut had not ended up like his father in his death – but, in the matter of the woman he loved, perhaps he wasn't so different. 

[nappingpaperclip]

happy very late trans day of visibility we stay winning 💪💪 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Trans people please rb and add your gfms and cashapps 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Gonna get a bit personal cause to be honest? I don’t think non trans people really understand what it is like to be trans right now and some of y’all really need to hear this.

People outside of the man/woman sex dichotomy have existed in every culture throughout history since humans have existed. Yet people are still using the argument that being trans is a “trend” that young people are falling/being groomed into

This rhetoric leeches out of politics into the minds of young people, who turn around and externalize it onto their peers. Trans people, and especially young trans people are being bullied, harassed, followed home, beaten, raped, brutalized, and killed every day because of this line of thinking.

It’s literally the same argument used against gay people in the early 2000’s and 2010’s. I was there. I heard it growing up. It made it take much longer for me to realize that I was bisexual because of it. Because I didn’t want to be just hop on a “trend.” Well, more like I didn’t want to be accused of that. I didn’t want to be seen as less than over something I didn’t think was that big of a deal.

To be honest, I find that it was more accurate to say that I was being groomed into being a cis straight girl.

As someone who was actually groomed, and who knew I was not cis before that btw thank you very much, it’s fucking frustrating to see this argument be used to make it harder for me and other people like me to safely exist. It’s so fucking frustrating to see people co-opt my OWN trauma to take away my agency, and make it 1000x more dangerous for trans people, and especially trans women, to just literally exist.

Others tell us that our existence is a violation of biology, science, logic, or reason. Laughs in biology student. The human body is a complex organism with many moving and changeable parts. Humans are complex emotional beings with incredibly diverse cultures and roles within their respective societies. Biology isn’t as simple as XY and XX, and I’m tired of hearing this argument from people who don’t understand basic biology, and who don’t understand how language, science, and gender relate to culture.

It’s frustrating because even the “gender abolitionists” who claim to want to throw off the roles of womanhood still try to pin me and people like me into roles that fit their narrow worldview.

I cannot escape the roles that other people push on me, ever. I just want to exist. I can’t use EITHER bathroom without feeling unwelcome and unsafe. I can’t use a computer without articles and videos bashing trans people and our “dangerous gender ideology” or whatever popping up and ruining my day by making me feel guilty for literally just existing. I can’t look at the comments section on any post mentioning trans people, especially from my own local news, without seeing hateful comments wishing people like me death, saying we are all pedophile groomers, that we are delusional and should be locked up, that we need to be rounded up and shot to protect the children or traditional families or whatever.

Even the way people LOOK at me is dehumanizing and at times, humiliating.

I can’t go a single day at work or at school or in public without being stared at like I am some kind of freak because people can’t immediately tell what genitals I have. It doesn’t matter how polite I am or how small I make myself.

We remember the way you treat us. It sticks with us, shapes how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with the world. Just one of the many moments that still sticks with me was recently when I spoke at a city council meeting. I had a progress flag and a picture of Nex Benedict. This lady sat next to me and was kind and polite, until she saw the flag, and then she clammed up and refused to talk to me when I tried politely asking her something. You’d think I’d threatened her or was violating her rights just by being there the way she was looking at me.

Do y’all understand how fucking bad that feels? Seeing people make the connection, seeing the way their face drops as you watch them lose respect and all care for you in real time? Over something you can’t control? Something that doesn’t even effect them?

People literally see me and freeze, give me whale eyes and refuse to speak to me because they can’t tell what I am. I am a person. I try my best to be good and do good. Why is that not enough?

I’ve been told my whole life to just shut up and take it. No. No, I won’t do that. That doesn’t suit me at all. If you have a problem with that, that says more about you than it does me. You don’t get to complain about trans people making themselves be heard or making our transness a “part of our personality” when y’all harass and bully and kill us every day. It’s part of my personality because of the way I’ve been treated for it. I spent years of my life wishing and begging and dreaming that I was not trans, but it didn’t work. I tried very hard for so long to convince myself that I was cis. I can’t be something I’m not. My transness is a part of me and I will spend the rest of my life fighting for basic kindness and respect because of it.

If you wanted us to shut up then you’d leave us alone. Our existence is not part of some grand scheme or conspiracy. Our bodies and lives are not collateral damage.

Trans people are just people. We just want to be treated like people. We just want to live our lives without being forced into a box all the time.

You don’t have to “get it,” you don’t even have to agree, but you do have to respect our agency and respect that we know ourselves better than you do. Mind your own damn business. What we do to our bodies, how we dress or act, what bathroom we use, it does not affect you. Live and let live. Our existence should not be stomped out because it makes some people uncomfortable or confused.

We are people. We deserve to live. Let us live. Let trans people live

And to any other trans folk reading this: thank you for being here. You are a boundless, beautiful soul, and you are so, so loved. Your life is precious. Please keep fighting with us. I know it is scary right now but we will make it through this.

Our stories, our love, our hopes and dreams can never be stomped out or erased. I’m holding your hand and fighting with you. Let’s show love to the most vulnerable members of our community, like the black trans women and black trans men who need our support now more than ever, and the young ones who are terrified to go to school. You deserve to live. We all deserve to live. Your community is waiting for you with open arms. We will always cherish and support you, no matter what.

Sorry for the long personal post. I hope nothing but safety and love to everyone reading this, even if my existence or this post makes you upset. We are all human and everything else is secondary. Political, gender, class and other labels just divide us when we would be stronger together.

Love is always, always more powerful and more fufilling than hate.

If you can spare a few bucks please consider supporting my partner’s top surgery and survival fund. Thank you 💕

[bestworstcase]

A lot of people don't like it when I point out that Vacuo is a dystopia (feeling that the fact that it's anti-Atlas and a victim of imperialism justifies all of its modern day policies), but I would like to point out that Menagerie is canonically in even worse shape than Vacuo economically and yet STILL manages to base it's culture on something other than "culling the weak", in spite of the fact that it has far FEWER allies than Vacuo does.

And yet, Menagerie isn't a dystopian hellhole the way Vacuo is. It's far more stable even though Adam almost started a Civil War at a FAR more politically unstable time than the Crown did.

Menagerie highlights how Vacuans don't NEED to be monsters to survive, they just choose to be their worst possible selves.

not just economically, geographically too. the vacuan desert is harsh and dangerous; the menagerian interior is uninhabitable. kuo kuana is the most crowded city in the world because the four kingdoms cordoned off as many faunus as possible on a small continent of which only a tiny fraction of the land is habitable. (and it’s not because of the grimm! blake says the wildlife in menagerie is a lot more dangerous than that of the vacuan desert and i want to know what the FUCK kind of beasts they’ve got that are worse than mole crabs.) and while obviously it’s easier to subsist on the coast than in the middle of a desert, coastal living has its own dangers and the people of kuo kuana don’t have any habitable higher ground to retreat to if a hurricane or tsunami swamps their homes. the environmental precariousness vacuans face, the constant danger of losing their homes to a natural disaster, is also present in menagerie.

and there’s another point of similarity in that the national identity of both states is so strongly defined by the history of suffering and exploitation by the other three kingdoms: the city vacuans have this… almost sour grapes, spiteful pride thing of “our home used to be a perfect paradise but we were COMFORTABLE and LAZY and that made us so WEAK we let people conquer and enslave us and now our home is hell on earth and we’re tougher and better than anyone else because suffering made us strong” whereas the people of menagerie have the bittersweet acknowledgment that they won the war for their rights and have a kingdom of their own now but also menagerie was given to them to shut them up and encourage them to segregate themselves from the rest of the world. and i think the key difference between these cultural narratives is that the menagerians own the fact that it still hurts, that turning that kick in the teeth into something good that they can really be proud of and find joy in doesn’t make it less discouraging to be rejected and neglected. meanwhile the city vacuans are multiple generations deep in trying to cope with the open wounds of this cultural trauma by telling themselves it was actually a good thing, that it was their fault for getting soft and it’s better now because it made them strong.

which makes the point you raised earlier about the nomadic tribes of the vacuan desert helping the city vacuans pretty interesting, i think? because the nomads have a markedly different relationship to the desert: fox’s tribe taught him that it’s beautiful and miraculous that life can persist in such a harsh environment and that the hardship makes each and every life all the more precious. yes it’s difficult, yes it’s dangerous, yes the desert will kill you if you don’t respect it, but the nomads live in it because they love the desert and they’re proud of themselves for being a part of it. there’s a lot of superficial overlap with the city vacuan attitude but the emotion behind it is one of appreciation, not resentment. and that much healthier mindset goes hand in hand with the nomadic culture being one that shaped fox into a well-adjusted, resilient, compassionate young man who believes that vacuo has “two kinds of people: those who were selfish and those who were fully dedicated to their community” and that selfishness is self-destructive; the beacon brigade, which gets ridiculed by the students of shade, is fox’s idea and he explicitly modeled it on the way his tribe supported each other.

and i think that’s probably the point rwby is building up to, with vacuo, that the rampant toxicity in city vacuan culture is a manifestation of festering trauma repeating itself from one generation to the next; it’s what you get when an entire nation tries to deal with imperial exploitation by burying it and pretending everything is fine, for centuries. they’re not bitter, they’re tough! they’re not resentful, they’re better than everybody else! there’s nothing wrong with them, their country is a shitty miserable hellscape nobody would ever want to live in but that’s FINE because it makes them STRONG and anyone who leaves is a traitor! and so forth. (in contrast fox leaves vacuo because he wants to live somewhere less dangerous, and when he comes back the nomads he encounters give him a warm welcome and tell him it doesn’t matter how far or how long he’s been away, he’s still one of them and he’ll always have a place here if he wants it.)

there’s this deep hurt that never healed, and when you get down to the foundations of what’s messed up in vacuo it’s just… that. menagerie healed after the faunus revolution and built a culture bound together by community support and ideals of equality, justice, and peace. the nomadic peoples of the vacuo accept hardship as a worthy price for living in the desert they chose as their home. both of these examples together reveal how city vacuans can move forward and fix what’s broken in their society.

[tired-reader-writer]

Some more random AU thoughts:

After Arslan first wakes back up and recovers, Isfan can't stop fretting over him. He'd give Arslan a checkup every few minutes, to the point Farangis was like, “Bro, you're hovering.” “I am not.” “You are.”

Since Shapur and Kazai's relationship has a little leeway to be less secretive (albeit they'd pass off as lovers not husbands), I wonder if Kazai would sometimes accompany Shapur to Ecbatana. Or if the marzbans would know of him, even if just in passing.

Ecbatana shenanigans: Kharlan and Shapur unexpectedly bonding? Over being fathers? Especially after the jealous Crown Prince debacle? Maybe?

Also Shapur's loyalty in Andragoras is... dwindling. Or rather, his faith in the entire system, but since Andragoras stands at the top of it... Y'know, living with a clan that has a cultural history and identity of being wronged and persecuted by the system and those in power, it's gotta radicalize you at least a little bit. I wonder if Kharlan would notice that.

A lord, his half-brother born from a slave and is his heir, and an orphan boy he picked up from who-knows-where, one would think that's a perfect recipe for disaster but then in terms of conflict our wolf family is just... *crickets*. It'd be fun to see the shock of certain characters, haha 🤣

Eihon telling a young Isfan to recite a long list of medicinal plants and their properties in his mind whenever he feels his anger rising and doesn't want to lose control.

Shapur getting angry at something while far from home but being in a situation that doesn't allow him to express it, so he tries to distract himself by thinking about home but some stupid song baby Gieve made up is now stuck in his head. He can't get it out of his mind anymore. Poor sod.

Shapur and Hilmes having a screaming match. I have no clue what they're arguing about and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

Isfan having to be held back from straight up murdering someone. Probably Gurgin. I don't have the context for this either.

Going back to Ecbatana (excuse my scattered brain), I wonder if Kharlan would notice the reason why Arslan noped out of the palace. Surely he must, right? And Shapur looked so... tired, the morning Arslan went to work outside the palace instead. What would he think of it? Would he even consider approaching Shapur with... information about Hilmes? I guess not, not very likely, but the seeds might already be planted.

Slings as weapons. Apparently they were widely utilized historically, and work great so long as the target has no armor or is lightly armored. Leaning towards Kashi being a slinger. Wouldn't that be cool?

Wondering how I should make Alfarīd and Ranna meet. Also Merlaine and Arslan. Hmmmm...

An argument between an exhausted Shapur and a very determined Narsus. Probably about putting forth Arslan as the hidden heir.

Isfan leaving his wolves to watch Arslan when the boy was comatose, but also after he wakes up but shouldn't exert himself, when he's not available to be by Arslan's bedside.

Farangis probably had to sedate Isfan at least once to get him to leave a comatose Arslan's bedside.

I haven't thought much about Gieve, huh... I should think about him more.

Gieve and Ranna put together would probably be called something like “Demon Duo”. Pranksters extraordinaire. Unhinged. All the good stuff, according to Kazai.

The Sindhuran debacle is still probably gonna happen. Except there's no Arslan to lead a campaign to Sindhura. Shapur and Daryun going to Peshawar to aid their fellow marzbans, probably dragging Narsus along for strategy purposes too? Haven't checked the timeline so not sure Arslan would be in a good enough shape to leave Gorgan. Most likely not. But what if Narsus remains behind, to observe Arslan? Questions, questions, so many questions...

Speaking of questions, what the everloving fuck is gonna happen to the political sphere after Tahamenay fucking offs Andragoras?! There's gonna be Team Hilmes, which Bahman would become part of, and then there's Team Gorgan, which would ally with Team Hilmes— What would Kishward do?! Actually I haven't been keeping track of where Kubard is either HELP T_T Daryun and Narsus are probably with Team Gorgan. What's gonna happen next?! Hilmes is probably finally in a position to reveal his lineage and identity, though. That's a good thing.

[atla-fandom-confessions]

It's really obvious that the writer of a Zutara fic is white or a non-native American by the way they talk about colonization or governance of a tribe.

Colonization is not the same as gentrification and the running of a tribe is not the same as your white men ONLY democracy or your politely murderous monarchy. Writers thinking that Katara would understand how to run a country because you think that being the daughter of an absent chief is the same as being a Princess is enough for me to not finish a fic.

It's all just examples of Zutara actually being shaped by white women. I've been assured over and over that it's the part of the fandom that has the most PoC women, but where??

I can count on one hand the amount of fics that make a real effort to read about and realistically portray tribal culture, what that would really be like and how that would actually affect and shape Sokka and Katara, and one of them isn't even a Zutara fic.

I'm sorry, I know most of you don't give a fuck and for some reason, we don't talk about it. But I give a fuck! I care! I come from a tribal culture, my people are still being colonized off our land and I have to curtsy to the head of the monarchy who started the colonizing. I can tell when you're lying and making it up and writing about them as if they're essentially white, but 'caramel colored' just so you can get to the 'fluff' and it makes me feel sad and stupid because I thought we all cared about Katara's background and home as much as I did.

x

[nation-of-bros]

Your gay group is weird. Really, you want turn women into men. The birth rate in Europe is already low and reducing it even more by converting women into men is idiotic.

Another thing is you want manly women? No straight guy wants to date another man. A man wants to date a woman because she is feminine. If she's dating a guy, he's gay.Your little community is all gay and nothing else.

And in the end, as we can see, germany never changes. Once upon a time, the ideal representative of the Aryan race was a tall, blue-eyed blond man. Now you're trying to create the ideal man (bro) as a muscular, animal-haired muslim. And of course, it's best for everyone to drop their nationalities in order to create an idiotic gay community.

I will not mention this post about torturing a Ukrainian. Germans just like to torment others (non bros or whatever you called it).

I don't think I've seen such sick ideas for a new community in a long time.

When I read your blah blah, I kept thinking of this video:

Instead of getting upset about my blog: Date a "feminine woman" and do something about the low white birth rate yourself. There are enough super feminine women out there. But maybe you're too poor and gay for that yourself, and instead squirt your cum in a handkerchief while scrolling through tumblr. ^^

I'm going to address your objections factually, although I really don't feel like it. But it still has to be done:

—

Yes, the Germans are such a terrible nation. They torment you with so much money that you get; not to mention their cultural and technological achievements that brought mankind forward. Yes, people all around the world really suffer a lot from the evil Germans who take in millions of refugees: 2/3 of all current welfare recipients in Germany are Ukrainians, by the way! And they contribute absolutely NOTHING, they just eat the hair off the heads! So before you open your fucking mouth, deal with the real circumstances!

Your sympathy for that corrupt piece of shit somewhere in Eastern Europe disqualifies you for good. I guess you're a white supremacist cheering on Ukrainian neo-nazis against evil Igor?

The fact that you still took a close look at my blog suggests that you are at least somewhat attracted to men. You may be telling yourself that you're being totally straight when you're not.

However, you didn't understand the logic at all. I don't want to change the current society, because it cannot be changed. I'm talking about separation. That's a totally other approach.

By the way, I never use the term "gay", because gay means much more than just being homosexual or bisexual, it also has a political meaning that I absolutely do not share. That's why I also speak of an androphilic community, where masculinity and male values are central. You don't see the benefits behind it. Instead, in the existing conservative thinking, you mourn the old ways, which only worked to a limited extent when there were no contraceptives. Even Iran proves this, where women are still oppressed and pushed into a female role, but the birth rate is far too low.

Testosterone also makes women sexually willing; much more willing than your petite super feminine dolls. I therefore want to improve women without losing their female sexuality! Femininity should be reduced to a biological minimum and optimized in this state. So there emerges a clear evolutionary advantage, especially when the division of society is overcome: Instead of umpteen genders, there is only the masculine, whether with a cock or a pussy hidden under a dicklet. Thus, my concern is to develop a better working alternative. Yes, I'll admit it might seem pretty weird to an outsider. But weirder than our current society? Weirder than the literal interpretation of the Bible and the morality derived from it? Weirder than anything before?! I do not think so!

Every kind of society started out with a mere idea. Just think of Karl Marx, who shaped the world with his new ideas like no other; whether it was good or bad is anyone's guess (I'm not a communist, but I'm not a fervent supporter of capitalism either). In this sense, every change begins with just a thought and the will behind it.

[redpandarascal]

I need to write up a whole response, as politely as I can, because I’m also in favor of this site having a relatively good natured culture, about why this person is misdirecting their anger. The blaze feature shouldn’t really… exist at all, because this is the inevitable end result of it. The way social media is constructed is going to shape the interactions people are having on it. When you pay to become an advertiser, you’re imposing on my time, and I’m going to, CORRECTLY*, resent you for it, and that resentment is, naturally, going to be proportional with how much I dislike what you wasted my time with. And like, read the room. So many people here could use a couple bucks. It’s going to provoke a reaction, if you’re showing off how those couple bucks are meaningless to you. Additionally: if you value the way this site thrives on genuine connection, the whole reason we have that as much as we do here, is because of the amount of control we have over what’s on our dashes and from who. An attempt to make the site profitable by fucking with that? It doesn’t sit well with me- might bode for bad things to come.

Instead, tumblr needs to somehow encourage and incentivize for the advertisements on tumblr to be from its own userbase. We are all so deeply aware of how badly the tumblr ad system needs a complete overhaul, right? Pikachu guy?

*I need you to understand that advertisement should not exist. The existence of advertisements is proof of how dystopian capitalism is. Advertisement is an evil unto the world. It must not be tolerated. Never let yourself be sold to if you can help it, but this is easier said than done, because it is an industry worth hundreds of billions of dollars. and yet! We will fight it!

[thewolfseries]

What was the most stupid example of racism you experienced that left you too confused to realize that it was racist?

Okay. So. Real talk time. How about I take you down memory lane for me in real life? This is a very long answer ...

I was in kindergarten and all the class except myself and an Asian child (can't remember if it was a boy or girl) were white. My teacher, Ms. Chambers was teaching about different cultures and she called me up and the Asian boy (pretty sure the kid was a boy) and started pointing out all the ways we were different to the rest of the kids. Our hair, our skin, our eyes. She even made the comment about my stepfather not being my real father (which is how I found out by the way).

So I went home feeling a mix of confusion, embarrassment (who wants to be singled out?) and admittedly, curiosity and concern. Of course I was way too young to put words to those emotions and it was all one big soup. I can remember my mother being furious and going after Ms. Chambers head and nearly getting her job. My mother, to her credit, did not hide the truth from me and told me everything and explained it, including about my real father, whom I've never met and likely never will.

She explained how he was a migrant worker from Mexico, named Frank Roman Vasquez (spelling we aren't sure of) and that she and he had what I would later learn was an affair (he was engaged she wasn't and she told me in terms a kid could get, not blatantly). She told me I was half white and half Mexican and should be proud of both sides of myself, and fuck what everyone else thought. (She didn't use the word fuck but she was mad enough to at the teacher). My mother had always raised me to love everyone, no matter what, to see the good in people, not just their outside.

So I was about six when I experienced racism the first time and knew something about it was wrong and hurtful. I was confused as I was a kid and didn't understand why it mattered.

I learned that such things, as I grew older, with that experience shaping every interaction I had after that, especially when I still lived in east Tennessee and the majority of people were Christian, white low income folks (mostly good people but with undeniably cruel streak running through it all), that skin color and "breeding" as it was sometimes called, mattered to them, for what reasons only they know. I later learned that before I was born, my mother's friend tried to get her to abort me, stating that I would never have a life, I'd be a half-breed, a mutt and it would be better off to just get rid of me, get married and have a nice white baby. The friend that said that was extremely religious, very Christian (the woman thought women wearing pants and cutting their hair was slutty and that Power Rangers, Star Wars and anything else was literally the spawn of Satan).

Looking back, I always experienced racism, from friends, family, employees of stores I went to, all of it casual and just up front in your face, sometimes laced with pretty words, all because to them, if I didn't go out in the sun for too long, I was white enough to pass; they'd say horrible things about the migrant workers and the black men and women and kids that were around, the Asians and expect me to agree with them, to which I would never respond or would sometimes bite back so to speak but I never had the courage for years to tell them that I was part of the people and groups they hated. I just didn't know it at the time because I was too young and sadly, it was the norm. It was politely accepted by so many I never knew what it was until I was in my early teens. It probably accounts for a good unspoken chunk of my self-esteem issues.

As I got older I found my voice and I will never stay silent about it again out of fear. I took two years of Spanish in high school, learning from this amazing fire cracker of a little Panamanian woman who learned about my past and took a special interest in me, wanting to help me find the lost part of my history and culture that I'm still learning about. (love you, Senora Haefle).

And that's how I both learned about racism and was confused by it and later realized it was racist.

[unofficial-sean]

2008: Our Generation’s Trauma

The 2008 Financial Crisis--or the Great Recession--is, perhaps, the 9/11 of my generation (that being the awkward space between Millennials and GenZ). I was an infant when the WTC collapsed, and so that means little and less to me. All I saw was the aftermath; the brutality and injustice the U.S. inflicted on the world and its own people in response. I never knew the world before that. It was just how things were.

However, I was old enough to remember a pre-2008 world. My life was (autism withstanding) typical for a culturally Christian white household. We lived well, but not extravagantly. And then the house of cards collapsed and we lost so much. No single event has shaped the outcome of my life as such.

Now, we didn’t have it the worst. Our home in the country wasn’t financed by the dogshit mortgages that led to others’ evictions. The Crisis’ effect was secondary. My father worked as a CAD technician at the civil engineering firm ESM, working on housing and infrastructure projects. After the Crisis, ESM held on as long as it could, laying off people in a trickle until my father got the axe and the firm was no more. No one was working on housing projects, anymore.

My father had to take on odd jobs to keep us afloat, but the stress of the Crisis strained my parent’s marriage to the breaking point, and divorce followed. My parent’s issue with each other had been building before the Recession, but it all came to a head in 2010.

With little income, we slowly sold off things we didn’t strictly need. Our horses and trailer, our truck, and more. It broke my mother’s, sister’s, and my own heart to see our horses go. It wasn’t enough, though, and we ended up moving into a small duplex apartment in town.

If I was struggling in school before, it was nothing compared to my post-Crisis experience. I need not continue with more details, I believe I’ve made my case. Had the marriage held, had my father kept his job, had we kept our home and our horses and the rest, my life would be very, very different. For better or for worse.

I wanted to reflect on that. It shapes my outlook, now, and the things that are really important to me. I never buy things I wouldn’t outright own. No credit, no loans. Nothing I have can be taken from me the way our house was. I, to put it gently, loathe capitalism. I loathe the political system that enabled the Crisis to happen. I loathe the response to the Crisis. I find the truly rich disgusting and inhuman; worthy of death so that we may all live in peace. and-

Did you see what just happened? Right there: read the first paragraph, and now the one just above.

I hate capitalists after the Great Recession like (some) Americans hated Muslims after 9/11. Only, capitalists aren’t some foreign underclass we can bomb to hell. They are the ones who bomb others to hell. Despite how the pain and suffering discriminated against none, somehow my parents generation still clings to Regan and his ideals like he is god himself. The tragic comedy of that fact is not lost on me.

Maybe one day, when our parents and grandparents are dead, we can take hold and change our fucked up slice of earth for the better. Never forget 2008.

[askshivanulegacy]

Hey this isn't like me yelling-callout-post-NOW or anything but I was scrolling through replies on the trolley-problem-palestine post and I do want to say that I have to unfortunately be invested in US Politics as a non-US citizen because of the way these elections affect the rest of the world, culturally and politically. The US is one of the richest and most influential countries in the world and the way it decides to interact with the rest of us, where it sends money and military to, and the conversations people in the US are having even about domestic issues end up shaping the conversations that happen outside of it (trans and immigration issues for example). It's horribly unfair and I'm fuming about it always why can y'all veto shit ❤️ but uh yeah, just a minor nitpick with the influence of the elections on everyone else. I could be entirely wrong in my perception of the way things are but that's how it seems to me rn.

That post was a long time ago, so I can't remember specifically what I said about it, but I don't disagree with your ask.

My big beef (and what I typically rant about) with most of the chatter about the US elections and Palestine isn't that the elections influence other countries. They definitely do.

My beef is that all the US tumblrites are making Palestine into the one single issue ever, in the world and in the US, and they're putting on blinders to everything else.

Palestine isn't even CLOSE to being the single issue or even the most major issue. It simply is not.

And in a US election, Americans NEED to take a look at OUR issues. The issues that affect everyday life. Affordable and accessible education, housing, healthcare, LGBTQ+ issues, rights to bodily autonomy, etc., etc.

In a US election, those are the things that are the most important. In a lot of ways, those are the only issues that functionally exist, within the context of the election bubble. Yes, you can and should consider foreign policy as a factor, but it should NEVER be the only factor ... not when there are so many raw and bleeding gaps at home, and clear, obvious, and impending threats to the very lives of the people these sjw tumblrites claim to care about.

I'm saying that election time is the time for Americans to focus on America for just a minute. And when all I hear is Palestine to the exclusion of all else - all rational thought, all sense - with the conclusion being "punish Biden because he happened to be president when Israel was being a little shit," then that's when I say none of that matters.

Because the US election is not about Palestine or any other country. It's about the US.

People desperately need to remember that.

No, I don't want to put America first, and I care a lot about how we interact in the world. But by God, you don't put your own country LAST in the election that is specifically for your country and will determine how you survive ... and IF you survive. You don't throw your country and everyone in it under the bus.

We have the right to be a little selfish for our election. Not Trump-selfish, but selfish enough to have some sense for the things happening here. It's time to set Palestine on the shelf for a while - at least long enough to realize that "punishing Biden" is idiocy.

Also that Biden is not only America's best strategic option, but he ALSO happens to be Palestine's and the rest of the world's.

Honestly, I've seen more of that perspective from non-Americans, and I hugely appreciate it. I just need the actual Americans in the room to realize that 1) they need to take off their fucking blinders, and 2) their stupid little short-sighted Biden-punishment stunt will not only harm themselves but also all the other countries they seem to care about more than their own.

And I want them to start giving a fuck about the country they currently live in.

[i---dag]

Work Diary. entry 2 (Monday 11th of March, 2024)

First woke up at 07:18, then fell back asleep and got up at 09:32. Now I'm drinking my second cup of instant coffee in front of my computer, looking into the city archive of Maribo in Denmark to find some pictures I can use for a graphic freelance project I'm doing. At 11:00 I have to call the new communications employee at one of my jobs to talk about who does what, since I am also a communications employee - slight conflict of interest maybe. My friend recommended me two texts I would like to read today: Why Has Critique Run Out of Steam by Bruno Latour, and Outing Texture by Renu Bora. Lets see how it goes.

So after writing this I was crying until now, it's 13:14 now. I felt like this day has nothing to offer, I wanted to cancel all the plans I have this week, feeling insecure about doing the work etc. But I think today is the day were doing the work starts. I have afew things on my to-do list:

Go to the inner city to ask how expensive it will be to fix my camera, and maybe find a notebook exclusively for the purpose of mapping, and

Go to a café to read, research, write, and do my job, and

Go to my friends place where I currently have my studio (it's not working out) to pick up some paper and drawing things, and

Pick up a dress from my other friend that I sold her 5 years ago that she has now sold back to me.

This list will be concluded with the following statement: I'm tired of rich nepotist curators. To be continued and updated.

-

It's now 16:56. I did ritalin and went out of the door with M. We took the bus from home to Sydhavn St., switched to the S-train and got off at Copenhagen Central Station were we parted. I then walked to Tutein where I did some intuitive shopping for materials, paper in the color I call "sale yellow", 4 sheets of tracing paper, 4 sheets of pvc, neon yellow dot stickers, and a roll of grey tape. I pocketed some transparent tiny human shaped models for architecture modelling, 2 translucent elastic bands and 2 white elastic bands. I'm not sure what I'll use it for yet but I hope it will make sense to use in this mapping project. I then went to Photographica and was told that my camera is too old for them to be able to fix it. It saddens me that electronics have a life and death in the sense that they just cannot be fixed when they are outdated. I'm going to walk around in Nørrebro another day to see if any of the electronic shops there can help me, not giving up just yet. A hippie dude who seems to be obsessed with me wrote me on Instagram that I can have his old camera, I'm not sure if I feel like taking him up on the offer. After the disappointment I went to Kunstbiblioteket at Charlottenborg to get Fifty Years of Recuperation by McKenzie Wark, a book she wrote on the Situationist International (SI) and the movements influence on our contemporary understanding of art, culture and politics. I had trouble finding it but a very sweet librarian helped me locate it, and it of course turned out to be just where I couldn't find it. I can't walk around the city without going to at least one secondhand shop, so I went to Blå Kors Genbrug and got a neon yellow running jacket. I was thinking about the G4S security guards walking around in their neon uniforms, imagining they had wings like angels, maybe it will turn out to be something. I then texted with I and we agreed to meet at Tjili Pop. I cut through Kongens Have and felt very anti-social, not sure if it would be a good idea to meet, today is pessimistic as fuck. Walking by Nørreport to swing by the genbrugsstation at Nansensgade where I found a crystal-glass candlestick, then proceeded to walk by the lakes to get to Tjili Pop where I am now writing this. I met someone I know on my way to get cigarettes, they looked at me with a weird look on their face and so did the lady in the kiosk. I'm not sure what to take from that.

[branded-perceptions]

The judicative can understand societies crazy kindergarten-like from causal dialectic problem solving distracting fantasy polarisation of all sorts of topics like political left versus via political right via all the divorce court cases where the previously in the positive rush of love unseen consequences of the relationship (brand love) are scapegoated upon each other, metaphorically,

which happens in reputation managed ways similar like lawyers tend pay more attention to the prestige of the college they go to than their work purposes' causal relation to our shared life force "clique - Kanye West":

What of the dollar💸💉💸 you murdered💉☠️💉 for?

Is that the one fighting for your soul?

Or your brother's the one that you're running from (bra(i)nde(a)d in-group "competition": 🔍AJ Vaynerchuk tells the Vaynerchuk story Next Up With Adam Breneman)

But if you got money, fuck it, cause I want some:

our collective worldwide wealth of is so interconnected and during industrial revolution fundamentally built via colonialist exploitation so that we cannot view any region of our "common wealth" of the world in vainly bra(i)nde(a)d elitarian isolated hyped

🎶STYLE - TAYLOR SWIFT

of our entrained social sense-making incentives'

🎵MIDNIGHT🌛🛐🐑💤🐑

detached🎈 from stories' vulnerability with our shared causal touch

(🎵YOU COME AND PICK ME UP, NO HEADLIGHTS)

via our motivational

🎵LONG DRIVE

whose causal direction🧠👅🧠 matters more than their in-group self-justifications

(🎵COULD END IN BURNING FLAMES OR PARADISE)

like the nursery rhyme to our psychotic🤩 motivations (cultural white bear problem) invisible ironic processes written into our musical "royal-tease"

(🎵FADE INTO VIEW, OH)

as our narcissistic hype 🔍"(royal) style" of our fundamentally by (for reality mistaken) shared dreams and fantasies and sense-making stories and status symbols driven motivations are what similar like in medieval europe regulates the causal "value" of directions of by our motivations' shaped value-exchanges' fantasy defence relation to all our shared collective👑 common most simple life causal boundaries

(🎵IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAVE EVEN HEARD FROM YOU)

whose shared focus over time via its "cult status" of attracted shared psychosis🤩 of imitated status concepts, habits and blind chase for social rewards periodically (Strauss-Howe) detaches🎈 from caring for causal reality

(🎵I SHOULD JUST TELL YOU TO LEAVE 'CAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE IT LEADS, BUT I)

that thus in European history was habitually evolved through the thereby mimetically repressed Jungian attention shadow booties

(🎵WATCH US GO 'ROUND AND 'ROUND EACH TIME)

towards the aspirations of a more via shared focus on causal reality cooperative peaceful global humanity

(🎵YOU GOT THAT JAMES DEAN DAYDREAM LOOK IN YOUR EYE)

that knows the difference to psychological mask😷 appearances🎭

(🎵AND I GOT THAT RED LIP CLASSIC THING THAT YOU LIKE)

whose reputations naturally loose🎈 touch with the dialectic focus on societies' basic life causality

(🎵AND WHEN WE GO CRASHING DOWN)

for whose care we via continuous proactive reality testing🥜

(🎵WE COME BACK EVERY TIME)

need to calibrate🧠👅🧠 upon our mimetic style of our stories, trends, financial flows and scientific concepts projected emotional motivational charges🧭❤️🧭

(🎵'CAUSE WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE)

that are most intense if they align with MEANING🧠 of our shared common causal life

(🎵WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE)

which every society sooner or later circulates around

(🎵SO IT GOES)

as neither our mind nor objective dead matter matters anything without our causally embodied life force

(🎵HE CAN'T KEEP HIS WILD EYES ON THE ROAD, MM)

that is crucial for our shared feeling of safety and care

(🎵TAKES ME HOME)

behind attention lights' masquerade "style" dresses of perception managed reputational psychological masks

(🎵LIGHTS ARE OFF, HE'S TAKING OFF HIS COAT)

of masculine status hierarchies "eye of Horus" reputations that societies' life force of female "eye of RA" metaphorically is drawn to pull towards their most basic life needs' longing for safety, stability and security

(🎵I SAY, I HEARD, OH, THAT YOU'VE BEEN OUT AND ABOUT WITH SOME OTHER GIRL)

that Queen Elizabeths' social attention booty surfaced (#staySafe🤥😷😇) to care for the worldwide cultural aspects like via african cultures rap music

(🎵HE SAYS WHAT YOU'VE HEARD IS TRUE, BUT I, CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU AND I)

that bridges our diverse cultural aspirations and sympathies for each other

(🎵I SAID, I'VE BEEN THERE TOO A FEW TIMES)

towards globally in logic dialect connections evolving future visions

(🎵CAUSE YOU GOT THAT JAMES DEAN DAYDREAM LOOK IN YOUR EYES)

directionally motivated🧭❤️🧭 via musical "royal-tease" written cultural attention booty🍑 of western cultures' unregulated psychological ID🍌💦 whistles' "competition" missing a ego🥜 bell like from the queens watchtower Big Ben:

🎶let me put my love into you - AC/DC

[pesterloglog]

Vriska Serket, Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde

Candy, page 37

(VRISKA): I think that one is...

(VRISKA): A sort of snake?

(VRISKA): A snake with a strangely 8ig head.

VRISKA: Nah, it’s a pipe.

(VRISKA): A what?

VRISKA: It’s a Thing you Smoke with.

(VRISKA): Oh.

(VRISKA): You mean, like, the human marijuana I’ve heard Dave ram8le a8out sometimes?

VRISKA: God.

VRISKA: You Really Did grow up on an Alien Planet, didn’t you.

(VRISKA): Yes, as a matter of fact I did.

(VRISKA): I’m from the world which was home to the race you yourself are apparently a mem8er of.

VRISKA: Yeah 8ut I’m actually Normal?

VRISKA: No Offense.

(VRISKA): None taken. You’re a lot like me, really.

(VRISKA): I mean, unsurprisingly? This shouldn’t 8e shocking news.

VRISKA: You just kinda remind me of my mom.

VRISKA: Not in Many ways, I just mean you say shit that makes it O8vious this isn’t where you grew up.

(VRISKA): How is Kanaya, 8y the way?

VRISKA: Um. 8oring?

VRISKA: And Old.

VRISKA: Old and 8oring as Fuck.

(VRISKA): Hahahaha.

(VRISKA): Sounds a8out right.

VRISKA: I mean, Older Than Us, 8y a lot.

VRISKA: 8ut you knew her when you were the same age, so...

VRISKA: That’s why I said that? Fuck it. She’s like, Regular. A 8asic Ass Mom.

VRISKA: She’s fine, I like her. 8oth my moms are alright.

VRISKA: They’re a little o8sessed with all this War Shit though.

(VRISKA): Oh yeah?

VRISKA: Yeah.

VRISKA: Old people get hella 8ent out of shape a8out War And Politics.

VRISKA: Same shit as always.

(VRISKA): You’re right. I guess that’s how it was in my culture too.

(VRISKA): That one there.

(VRISKA): That’s... some sort of squat, can-like 8uilding, right?

VRISKA: What?

(VRISKA): Like the ridiculous structures my friends used to 8uild with the Mayor.

(VRISKA): Hey, is the Mayor still around?

VRISKA: The Mayor’s dead, dude.

(VRISKA): Shit!

(VRISKA): I loved the Mayor.

VRISKA: Everyone loved the Mayor.

VRISKA: He’s in our damn history 8ooks.

(VRISKA): Wow.

(VRISKA): 8ut you see what I mean, right? That one!

VRISKA: Lol, you don’t know Anything.

VRISKA: Kinda cute, actually.

(VRISKA): What?? Then what is it, smartass.

VRISKA: It’s a cake.

(VRISKA): ........

VRISKA: A 8irthday cake. See? Those are candles.

VRISKA: It’s so o8vious.

(VRISKA): Oh! Like those shitty things John’s dad was always making?

VRISKA: Guess so.

(VRISKA): What’s with all the clouds shaped like John stuff?

(VRISKA): Like that one there. That’s... a 8ig dollop of “shaving cream,” right?

VRISKA: Ummmmmmmm, nah.

VRISKA: That’s just a normal cloud I think.

(VRISKA): Fine, 8ad example.

(VRISKA): 8ut THAT one.

(VRISKA): That’s DEFINITELY a human hat.

VRISKA: Oh yeah, it totally is.

VRISKA: Just a fuckin’ Sky Hat. Right there.

(VRISKA): Is Earth C always like this?

VRISKA: I dunno, I never noticed.

(VRISKA): May8e this is just crazy nonsense, actually.

(VRISKA): Seeing shapes in clouds, I mean.

VRISKA: May8e. Idk.

(VRISKA): Or may8e the truth just makes me kind of nervous.

VRISKA: What “Truth”?

(VRISKA): Don’t tell him I said this, 8ut, I think John is just an extremely powerful 8eing. Even when he sucks.

(VRISKA): And he certainly does appear to suck in this reality.

(VRISKA): And yet, the uneasy feeling is there.

(VRISKA): It’s a vague feeling I’ve had in the 8ack of my mind for a long time, 8ut it really hit me when I was talking to him earlier.

(VRISKA): It’s distur8ing to think a8out that much power 8ottled up in one stupid nerd who’ll never understand it.

VRISKA: What Power are you even talking a8out?

VRISKA: Like, lame Wind Powers?

(VRISKA): No, I mean...

(VRISKA): The power to shape reality. Even without intending to.

(VRISKA): Like, just falling 8ackwards into the most insanely overpowered 8ullshit, when the rest of us have to work our asses off for a fraction of that kind of power and relevance.

(VRISKA): He could rewrite everything that ever happened if he wanted.

(VRISKA): And he could pro8a8ly even 8end reality to his will in certain ways even if he didn’t have the slightest idea what he was doing, which he usually doesn’t.

(VRISKA): He’d pro8a8ly manage to 8e more relevant than I could ever dream of 8eing even if he was dead.

(VRISKA): It’s a little depressing to think a8out, actually.

VRISKA: Eh, no it’s not.

VRISKA: Harry’s dad is a Joke! He’s a Washed Up Loser.

VRISKA: He’s not worth feeling shitty a8out At All.

(VRISKA): Wow. You know what?

(VRISKA): You’re RIGHT.

(VRISKA): Man, that is SUCH a good attitude?

(VRISKA): Why didn’t I say that??

(VRISKA): I used to say shit like that.

VRISKA: Hey, can I just ask...

VRISKA: Why were you making out with this Ridiculous Shithead?

(VRISKA): Wow, could we may8e not talk a8out that?

(VRISKA): I’m fucking em8arrassed.

VRISKA: I’m not even Judging. It’s not like I can 8lame you.

VRISKA: Sometimes a girl just needs to give up on her Dignity for a while and kiss a Dum8 Clown.

VRISKA: That does a lot to Explain my Relationship with Harry, actually.

(VRISKA): Haha.

(VRISKA): Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it.

(VRISKA): Let’s just call it a 8rief and inadvisa8le catharsis through fleeting clown lust, and agree to never speak of this again.

VRISKA: You got it.

(VRISKA): 8ut anyway, I was trying to make a point!

(VRISKA): I have to say... I’m almost a little jealous of you.

VRISKA: Jealous. Why? I’ve done fuck all.

VRISKA: I go to highschool and that’s a8out it?

VRISKA: Haven’t you like,

VRISKA: Literally Ascended To Godhood, cre8d Multiple Universes, and uh.

VRISKA: Killed Guys And Stuff?

(VRISKA): Yes, I did do all of that stuff.

VRISKA: Didn’t you Mind Control some idiot to jump off a Cliff, and he got Paralyzed...

VRISKA: 8ut then you started Dating him or something?

(VRISKA): Yeah.

(VRISKA): That was 8efore I killed him.

VRISKA: Lmao!!

(VRISKA): It’s cool though, we made up!

(VRISKA): As ghosts I mean. Well, a different copy of me did that, 8ut I think it still counts.

(VRISKA): Wh8ver, it’s just one thing I did. Who can even keep track of this stuff.

VRISKA: Didn’t you 8lind some O8noxious 8itch one time?

(VRISKA): HEY!

(VRISKA): Some of this stuff is kind of priv8??

(VRISKA): Anyway, the point wasn’t to go strolling down memory lane on some of the 8adass things I’ve done.

(VRISKA): Not that there isn’t a lot of gr8 material there.

(VRISKA): I’m just saying, with the life you’re living here, you seem...

(VRISKA): Free?

(VRISKA): Free to just 8e yourself, and 8e cool, and not really care too much a8out other people’s horse shit.

(VRISKA): I’ve spent so long caring so much a8out what other people thought of me. Mainly that they saw me as important, or making a “difference.”

(VRISKA): It’s such a futile struggle sometimes. And I thought I was doing SO well, and getting SO close to the 8ig prize... and then I end up... here???

(VRISKA): It’s like a 8ig joke. And sometimes it feels like real freedom is just understanding that.

(VRISKA): And when you do, it comes through in your personality, and it’s a lot easier to just seem...

(VRISKA): Cool. You know?

VRISKA: I guess.

(VRISKA): This is really funny. I feel like such a fuckup. 8ecause now that I’m saying this, I realize there WAS a person like that I met once.

(VRISKA): Like you, sorta. It was just another version of myself.

(VRISKA): She was genuinely happy, and living her 8est life, even though she was ironically a ghost.

(VRISKA): 8ut something a8out her attitude set me off.

(VRISKA): So I ripped her to pieces??

(VRISKA): Also I sort of stole her girlfriend.

VRISKA: Holy shit?

(VRISKA): I know! I’m terri8le.

VRISKA: No not really.

VRISKA: This all sounds kind of Legendary, t8h.

(VRISKA): No, I know! I know how it sounds.

(VRISKA): Just, please, don’t look at me as some sort of role model, ok?

(VRISKA): This isn’t good! The point is it’s 8AD!

(VRISKA): Take it from me, don’t do the shit where you start modeling yourself after some mental image you have of a cooler version of yourself! It just sucks.

VRISKA: Haha, alright, Whatever You Say. :::::::)

(VRISKA): Ugh. This isn’t going in the direction I was hoping.

(VRISKA): The POINT is, I was so mad at her.

(VRISKA): That happy ghost version of myself, who was free of everything.

(VRISKA): I was pro8a8ly mad 8ecause she got to 8e who she really was, without stressing a8out it, which is something I never felt like I was allowed to have.

VRISKA: Well.

VRISKA: You can now, right?

VRISKA: What the fuck is Stopping you.

(VRISKA): I guess so.

(VRISKA): I wonder what the point would 8e?

VRISKA: What do you mean.

(VRISKA): I could 8e a 8etter version of myself than I am, 8ut...

(VRISKA): Then...

(VRISKA): Who would even 8e around to notice?

VRISKA: I would.

(VRISKA): Oh, yeah. No, I mean, that’s gr8.

(VRISKA): And it’s nice talking to you, and getting stuff off my chest? It’s not what I meant, though.

(VRISKA): I left the people I care most a8out 8ehind.

(VRISKA): What’s the point of 8ecoming your 8est self, if the people most important to you aren’t around to witness it?

VRISKA: Um. Aren’t all your friends Here though?

VRISKA: I know they’re a 8unch of Old Fucks now, 8ut...

(VRISKA): No, they are. That’s...

(VRISKA): Not what I mean.

(VRISKA): Sigh. This is hard to explain.

(VRISKA): I guess I mean there’s someone specifically I fell out of touch with, who it feels like I’ll never see again.

VRISKA: Oh.

(VRISKA): May8e...

(VRISKA): May8e that’s why I h8’d my ghost self so much?

VRISKA: Why?

(VRISKA): 8ecause I just had a sense.

(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her...

(VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.

(VRISKA): Don’t get me wrong, we had a nice time for a few years living on that meteor.

(VRISKA): It was a good, sta8le pale relationship. 8ut that’s all it was.

(VRISKA): We couldn’t really connect in a deeper way 8ecause I was still... the way I am, I guess?

(VRISKA): Layers and layers of armor and defenses.

(VRISKA): And I had some mysterious feeling that weak ghost version of myself was always meant to form the kind of connection with her that I never could, 8ecause she didn’t have any of that stuff getting in the way.

(VRISKA): Which is pro8a8ly why I flipped out at her.

VRISKA: The person you’re talking a8out here...

VRISKA: It kinda sounds like you Love her.

(VRISKA): What??

(VRISKA): No!

VRISKA: Okay, Whatever.

(VRISKA): I don’t 8elieve this.

(VRISKA): I mean... may8e?

(VRISKA): Sorta.

(VRISKA): It’s a complic8d feeling.

VRISKA: It actually doesn’t sound that complic8d, 8ut again, Whatever.

(VRISKA): I don’t know!!!!!!!!

(VRISKA): I still feel sort of messed up a8out this, and I don’t think I can pinpoint exactly how I feel!!!!!!!!

(VRISKA): May8e you can’t even 8oil it down to one quadrant at all!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Who are we Talking a8out here?

(VRISKA): I DON’T THINK I CAN TALK A8OUT THIS ANYMORE!

VRISKA: Oh god, it’s not...

VRISKA: My MOM, is it?

VRISKA: Or one of them?

(VRISKA): Oh FUCK no. Not them.

(VRISKA): Anyway, they’re living on this planet. Remem8er I said I’d pro8a8ly never see her again?

VRISKA: Yeah.

VRISKA: You’re just talking a8out The Girl You 8linded that one time, aren’t you?

(VRISKA): Ummmmmmmm.

VRISKA: May8e I’m not Fucking Stupid?

VRISKA: I know some Lore.

VRISKA: I’m pretty sure Harry’s Dad used to talk to her a lot.

(VRISKA): What?

VRISKA: The 8lind Girl.

(VRISKA): He did? When?

VRISKA: I dunno. Years ago.

(VRISKA): How is that possi8le? I mean... from THIS place?

VRISKA: What. Earth C?

VRISKA: I don’t think I get the question.

(VRISKA): You still don’t seem to understand. We’re all inside...

(VRISKA): Never mind.

(VRISKA): What were they even talking a8out?

VRISKA: I have No Idea.

VRISKA: You wanna Look?

(VRISKA): Look at what?

VRISKA: Just a minute ago I swiped his Phone.

(VRISKA): You stole John’s phone??

VRISKA: Yeah.

VRISKA: I Steal Stuff sometimes.

VRISKA: The ha8it’s Pro8a8ly just in my DNA.

(VRISKA): Lol.

(VRISKA): Yeah, let’s take a look.

(VRISKA): How far 8ack does this go??

VRISKA: Not sure. 8efore I was hatched, at least.

(VRISKA): This is all...

(VRISKA): Weirdly flirtatious????????

VRISKA: Yeah.

(VRISKA): Terezi was like that with a lot of people though.

(VRISKA): Still, it’s a little jarring.

(VRISKA): It’s all kind of 8lowing my mind.

VRISKA: You know what this Means, don’t you?

(VRISKA): What?

VRISKA: You can Contact Her.

(VRISKA): Holy shit.

(VRISKA): What would I even say?

VRISKA: Tell her you Love Her.

(VRISKA): Oh, shut the fuck up.

VRISKA: Ha Ha Ha Ha.

(VRISKA): 8ut seriously...

(VRISKA): I have no idea where she is, or what she’s doing. Is she old now too, like everyone else?

(VRISKA): That would feel weird.

VRISKA: Only one way to Find Out.

(VRISKA): Hey Terezi.

(VRISKA): This isn’t John.

(VRISKA): It’s Vriska.

[wormsin]

I Need to be the Most Fashionable Bitch at the Airport

8/20/23

I'm at the airport heading to Grandpa's memorial. I'm wearing a black a-shirt that says "ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY CONNECTED" (jenny holzer truism; gift), oversized black short-sleeve button up with unidentified painting of The Last Judgment (my one aliexpress purchase of weird button ups), grey sweatshirt under black motorcycle jacket (allsaints, mom utterly spoiling me), black cargo pants, sneakers, 3M aura mask.

this combination is extremely comfortable and also lets me be the most fashionable person at the airport, an extremely low bar. as a transmasc its my god-given right to wear oversized shirts. it helps the fit issue of having more hip than mens shirts account for, and can widen the shoulder. i feel most comfortable in clothes that drape my back and hips, that dont come in at the waist, so i often wear these button ups open. its one of two silhouettes that dont make me insanely dysmorphic.

oversized transmasc fashion is sometimes ridiculed but personally im a fan, even as someone who believes right fit is important. 'right ' is just relative. trans/queer people are often manipulating our proportions to pass or signal, and thats because fit and silhouette in fashion is gendered.

off the bat, wearing oversized or proportion-fucking clothing is a lot easier when youre straight sized because there's more clothes for you period and you can find things a size up. also fatness is gendered in a complex way so Your Millage May Vary. anyway—

right now men's and women's silhouettes are very similar. its all slim and about moralizing and accentuating the ''"natural body"". and by accentuate I mean make women look skinnier with a fatter ass and men look skinnier with more muscles. it sucks ass. I could go off on a long rant about the politics of athleisure. there are more variations in shape in streetwear etc. but mens office and formal wear is all very slim right now (derogatory).

this is very different from 1600s france or 1950s america, where the male and female form in fashion were quite different. please dont make the mistake of thinking this uniformity/unisexing is a linear, progressive trend. there are rather cycles of feminizing menswear and masculinizing womenswear based on previous generations (1890s, 1920s, 1960s-now kind of).

so right now, if we want to 'pass' or genderfuck or navigate being gendered correctly, we rely on fine-haired signals. (it's easier to queer code and be read as 'some flavor of gay' ime.) and a lot of that is based on the shape of our bodies. wearing a men's jacket isn't going to shift my gender signals much since women wear menswear inspired womenswear and, to a lesser extent, menswear—but wearing a mens jacket a size up so my shoulders seem wider will shift the needle more. and even if it doesn't, I like how it looks.

there's not actually a formula for this because passing and gendering are highly specified to location, culture, race, age, fatness, how aware of trans people someone is, if there are other queers around you, etc.

more interesting than dialogue about passing are the weirdo trans/queer fashions happening right now which, like all interesting fashion these days, actually have bold shapes. transmasc, butch, and stud fashion often make use of oversized and baggy clothes, especially with the 90s / cargo / wide pant resurgence. and there's lots going on with weirdo niche fashion like clowncore. people were dragging Elliot Page's fashion (Balenciaga 2022, 2021 met gala) but its deliberate.

I feel pretty gay and trans at the airport, especially when I hit the middle of the country. but I did once see a man flagging black at an airport with a tattoo that said "ITS A LIFESTYLE"—so there's room for improvement.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

What is very depressing about the Taylor situation is that when we hold only liberal celebrities accountable, it makes it less lucrative to be on the left in any way shape or form.

"You had one opinion i agree with i expect you to agree with everything".

Only those with fans who care can be 'punished' so to say. The fans can't really stop the prison industrial complex, but they can make matty Healy's life harder, so that feels better than trying to fight a political system that is creepily similar to a oligarchy.

When everything is about individualism, individuals and their consumption becomes a central political fighting ground. What grinds my gears is that the porn Matty was watching was terrible, but he's getting torn down by a lot of people i suspect are the same that don't want to critizie the porn industry because women choose to be there.

Celebrity culture is exhausting sometimes.

So I think we disagree about a few things anon (which as you say is to be expected).

First off, I don't think we can hold celebrities accountable. I have lots of thoughts about the term 'accountability' - from its etymological connections with an economic understanding of the word, to the way that the concept of holding people accountable is currently deployed as a veneer on a wide range of behaviours that aren't very defensible.

But even leaving those problems with the concept - I think it's very important to emphasise that any meaningful version of accountability requires some sort of relationship. We can't hold complete strangers accountable and we can't hold celebrities accountable. And pretending that we can creates super fucked up dynamics.

I've got another anon that talks to this in much more depth (that I'll post soon hopefully), but to the extent that people are yelling about celebrities online, because they don't feel like they can change things in the world - it's much more important to focus on the cause than the effect. I think the political solution to this is to show people that they can fight the prison industrial complex. It won't be easy and it won't have easy results and we might not win, but we can fight and we can fight collectively.

I also think your thought about porn sort of shows some of the contradictions of these conversations. Because by imagining everyone else's views about porn and how they contradict with yours - you are elevating the political importance of individual responses of the issue. And I think the easiest way to stay grounded in all of this is basically to say: "what people think about Matty Healy isn't that important" and it's hard to do that while also publicly arguing about what people say about Matty Healy. (There's something else here about how the reality of porn sort of exposes the inadequacy of our frameworks for talking about both porn and the world - but that's something that I find very difficult to articulate - for obvious reasons).