I’m still not over Clarke talking to Bellamy over the radio every day for 6 years. He was the person she wanted to talk to most that whole time and it kept her sane to keep radioing to the ring and hope someone could hear her.
And when they finally talk about it, he reassures her so sincerely that it’s not crazy. Then to lighten things up, he calls it a little pathetic. He was able to get Clarke to laugh about something so serious and traumatizing right after because they’re still really good friends, despite everything. Despite him basically moving on with Echo on the ring, especially when he thought Clarke had died in Praimfaya. Despite the tension of the two of them getting reacquainted after the 6 years of separation and Bellamy locking her in that room.
And then you tell me they didn’t end up together???
Not to mention his devastation when Clarke “died” and Josephine took over her body and the fact that the only people on the walls in her mind were her loved ones like Lexa, her last love and BELLAMY. And the way he fought to bring her back declaring “I’M not losing her again.” and giving her CPR and the relief and the way they clung to each other when she came back… brb gonna go cry over them again
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planning to make a move tonight with this guy and deeply terrified even though i know he's interested, he's made it very clear that he's interested but putting the ball in my court to decide what, if anything, i want and i've made up my mind to pursue this but like. i've been single since the obama administration because there's not, like, a person-shaped hole in my life, i don't need to be with someone to feel whole, and i have to make room in my life for another person and idk how to do this and i hate feeling vulnerable or exposed or out of control and giving someone else the power to hurt me and having to just. trust that they won't. but i kind of... accidentally already gave him that power without realizing it. i kind of... feel like this is just acknowledging something that's already started.
i am. so nervous.
like, a little giddy, a little eager, a lot anxious for no reason other than how terrified i am of major changes even when i feel like they're good ones and. and. and.
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just thinking about how if lewis told charlotte he was terribly afraid of the water & she decided to physically pick him up and carry him out over the sea while he begged her to stop & go back, there would be antagonistic music playing in the background, the girls would have immediately told lewis to break up with her or even intervened, the fandom would be making (more) hate posts, etc. to this day i cannot believe ash got away with that in the show
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