#she knows she wants [and nobody wants a piece of me] b/c of knowing that they do; and they'll take it....

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also to go "wow this is just like in pentiment" about absolutely anything and/or "wow this is just like iphigenia crash land falls on the neon shell that was once her heart (a rave fable)" about absolutely anything further:

the Narratives within crash land falls where like, in the end iphigenia being Given the story of both "this is going to happen anyways" and "so why don't you see it as a noble sacrifice to accept." the situation happening to Create a story that she was killed, so her father must be tragic, and sympathetic. that iphigenia does take on that Narrative of taking on the Noble Willing Sacrifice, and it kills her, but she also would have been killed anyways, as everyone also knows. that we even get a bit of pentimentesque [other characters observe & assess things] like, the fresa girls as a chorus, and one at the end like yeah She Was No Saint, i saw everything, but being cut off by The News that's like yeah looks like iphigenia was killed, that seguing into her father saying yeah she was killed, god's will was done, She's A Saint now. seguing to the emcee who introduced the play, but that superceded by achilles, and that superceded with iphigenia's extasis monologue as the end of the play. that whether iphigenia's a saint or not, she dies. that [the whole play] tells us as much, like, this isn't a What If kind of retelling where she escapes her fate, this is a retelling examining itself like, she Will die because the story's preset, so what to do with this as the story that has to take her there, what to do with this as iphigenia who has to go there

that iphigenia takes on another narrative in addition to the one offered by like, violeta as guide and oracle telling her she has to die (As A Noble Sacrifice), that again (as per iphigenia in aulis being like uh hey daughter. let's go to aulis so you can uh marry achilles (it is to be sacrificed)) achilles is this bait, but it's only in the ending that there's any Story about being with achilles, and when iphigenia goes to the mercenary soldier who she knows will kill her, she's the one telling him what to tell her about where she's going and why, i want you to tell me achilles is waiting for me....and she still dies, because This Is The Story. as also applied to the reality, iphigenia as another dead and missing girl following & preceding many; any disappeared deaths when consumed as disposable & replaceable, not given part of any narrative about it. while also iphigenia only gets a chorus of fresa girls from there being crosses put on the factory wall with their names, with one girl even remarking like hey they spelled my name right for once. but at the same time they're also like, both mere Apparitions but also like standins for people who are simply alive. real [shades]esque kind of, i suppose, but like they're not Sanctified for dying either, they'll comment on iphigenia but not with any like, divine knowledge, just as this out of place rich girl. whether iphigenia's A Saint or Not A Saint, she's still dead either way. she wants to be a fresa girl, they maybe want to be her, but everyone's doomed anyways thanks to way larger forces and the Stories that have been told and will be told again

but there's also the moment right before the final section wherein, before she's having to say what she wants within the bounds of [she has to die], there's achilles asking "you still want me" and iphigenia answering with "i want everything" and her vision for, like, getting to be alive actually, i'm on the gulf where the sea is gray, and no one wants a piece of me....the whole inciting event here where iphigenia wants to evade her fate however she can, exiting the bounds of her life, the physical bounds and the family unit and walking away from the rank of status / class / wealth, trying for [have her body for herself] and what the body wants, the sensuous indulgences of (a rave fable), let's hear some more about the roman state like "we don't like the examination and challenge and upending of class and convention in a bacchanalia, so only do the official versions we permit;" the Threat of people's desires for themselves, when that's going to be counter to those in power who'd want these people to be resources at their disposal; the burden on the disempowered to suffer [the only way out is through] with the Additional pain & loss that has to be taken on in pursuit of their autonomy, while also of course suffering for the autonomy they lack, that restricted and controlled and mitigated versions of what you might want are deigned to be provided or permitted so that you have Something, but that everyone's actual undeniable personhood will always be spilling past those bounds, the potential power of transgressive pleasure when one's wellbeing and autonomous choices are counter to the power structures that have to constantly try to suppress and preclude this. achilles just as bait, doomed to die like iphigenia is also still doomed, sex was never going to save everyone and the [recognizing connection as these two parallel people / We're The Same] with your lover here is not going to save everyone but it still makes more things possible for them both; iphigenia does know what she wants, and gets some of it because she wants it, same with achilles in turn, while it can't save anyone from their fates still. but it can mean something even if it doesn't transcend, like even a fleeting night of insignificant dancing that doesn't change anything can mean something, and we all die, but that doesn't mean it's Nothing to be killed any more than it's Nothing to have your desires or choices one way or another to be wrung out of your life before you are

anyways, the stories. the Looking and Presenting here. achilles and iphigenia first encountering each other as images put together and presented by someone else for their own purposes. the presence of what's seen through film/camera/recording versus in person; the potential power relations and even violence in framing, presenting, and the intended looking and assessing. repeated language about eyes/looks that burn, while also that connection between iphigenia and achilles, and their finding the least room in what they do have of their lives for more of their own wants and selves and something genuine and not predetermined, is also connected to eyes and looking and being seen and light and burning. while they're also connected to the protection and possibility of night and darkness, getting to exist and be Without being lit up or seen; that with the power that's still in play, it's never like, well then you should have nothing / no reason to hide; the penultimate moment in the play with achilles being one that's in person and fades into darkness, rather than coming in from the light of a projection / video onscreen as the introduction....iphigenia needing to be guided through a crossroads to even get to achilles in person; violeta giving the Advice and Story and Tradition to pray to eleggua, as iphigenia does before getting to encounter achilles for real, who also doesn't get to break out of a role or a fate in full in any way, but their tragedies are like, pointing towards [autonomy, imagine it] in both the ways they manage to find a little bit of it for themselves, in no small part for simply recognizing each other as in the same boat here, and in the ways they still don't have it and still can't get it

and anyways it's also inevitably saying like, telling a story?? this Play is a told story!! looking? assessing? interpreting? you're doing that in the course of experiencing it! and it's really so fucking true.

[rights-for-redshirts]

AU where Anakin drops out of training halfway through his Padawanship and starts a mechanic shop of his own. This, predictably, saves the galaxy.

Because let's be real, he would be insanely good at it. This leads to several patents running under his name by the time he is 18, including but not limited to

A very easy and cheap to build scanner that *can* be used for detecting slave chips (the Hutts are Not Amused by the skyrocketing number of freedom trail escapees. There is a bounty on his head because he is silently donating a lot of his money to the people organizing said freedom trails. Anakin is aware of this but doesn't let it show. It is a badge of honor, but not one everyone knows how to read. The people who do know know either way.)

a little addition to hyperspace antennae bc he wanted!! to talk to!! his mother!! more often!! that coincidentally completely revolutionized military communication (Anakin is unaware of this)

some type of hyperspace engine modification just because ships and space travel are cool. This also starts to revolutionise research in that area; "The Force told me I could" may not be a valid basis for a scientific project, but "How the kriff does that mechanic DO THAT" sure is

Probably some lightsaber modifications bc come. On. There's no way he wouldn't find a way to improve those. (In the ensuing legal battle, it is noted that the construction and possession of lightsabers is no longer prohibited to the general public. Some Jedi Shadows slip away and do some investigating into when exactly that was changed. And by whom.)

He can’t buy his mother back because even though he has the money now, Watto won't sell her in the hopes of extorting him with her welfare. Anakin is this close to hiring a bounty hunter to deal with this and rescue his mum by himself. Only is Shmi happily busy directing her fellow slaves to operation centers and has no intention of stopping by leaving the planet ("Mum, don't you always say the true tragedy in the galaxy is that nobody helps each other?" Yeah, that woman is SO organizing the resistance against the Hutts.)

While the Jedi aren't really allowed to help because of politics, a good deal of them (the chaotic good alignment faction, i.e. Quinlan Vos & Company) help whenever they can, brokering peace with the original natives (Tuskens and Jawas) to facilitate escape through the desert and prepare an interim government for the inevitable slave/native revolt against the hutts. The council turns a blind eye to this, because a) they know it's the right thing to do and b) the lightsaber permit headache.

It's up to you which faction Obi-Wan belongs to.

The Techno Union is extremely unhappy about their monopoly on, well, technology being broken. This leads to some more legal battles that ... idk, I didn’t think this through, but they lose. Badly, and this proceeds to drag the Banking Clan and Trade Federation down with them as further investigations are opened.

Padmé delightedly pounces on the opportunity to drag all of them down and get revenge on Nute Gunray; she and Anakin make a magnificent team by combining political/legal and technical/market expertise into hell of a headache for the people who would otherwise fund the Separatists. There may or may not be a passionate kiss over some legal evidence and spare parts.

Sidious, who had so far been trying to push all the pieces into position he will need for the Clone Wars while keeping Anakin friendly to him and slowly building public support, now has his hands full juggling a) the lightsaber construction legislature investigation from the Jedi, of which they keep him duly informed (stressful), b) Anakin hyperfixating on mechanics so badly he hardly has time to spiral, never mind build up resentment against the Jedi, c) the Techno Union, the Banking Clans and the Trade Federation slowly crumbling under the combined weight of Skywalker being stubborn, Amidala campaigning and R2 slicing some pretty damning evidence, taking the financial backing for the droid army with them; d) what do you mean, the attempt on Shmi Skywalker's life was thwarted by a random Jedi "passing through" and several hundred newly freed slaves?? Since when did the Outer Rim start getting democratic??, e) with the slow, but steady dismantling of the three most powerful enterprises in the Republic, the main reasons for secession (Republic inefficiency, corruption, and corporate greed using monopolies to choke smaller planets into financial ruin and dependency) slowly falling away, the reasons for a war also fade into nothingness and the Republic returns to functionality.

By that time, the Jedi Shadows, led by Mace Windu (who traced the lightsaber construction thing) and the Jedi Slave Freeers (who traced the attempt on Shmi's life) meet up in front of the chancellor's office like the spidermen meme, down to kill a chancellor for completely different but both very valid reasons.

Upon opening the door, they find Padmé Amidala with a Ysalamiri lizard and a blaster. The unexploded (because Force-blocked) body of the Chancellor is lying in front of her, three smoking holes in his chest (he tried to blackmail her into leaving the Techno Union alone by way of her affair with Anakin (that she, as a Senator from Naboo, is not allowed to have). She brought the lizard without knowing it blocked the Force, but she got it as a gift from Anakin, who told her it would keep her safe if ...).

Mace Windu deactivates his lightsaber and tells Padmé with a straight face to drop the gun. There might be fingerprints on it that could lead to the culprit.

[winchester-books]

Four Months

Based On: obx

Characters: jj x reader

Warnings: mild lang / sexual references

W/C: 600

Summary: you accidentally let it slip that you and jj are dating- but by “accidentally” you mean you thought the rest of the pogues knew the whole time

You smile down at the “im here” text you’d just gotten from JJ, standing up from your place on the couch, “I gotta get going,”

“Where to?” Kie perks up, her eyes not leaving the TV screen.

“Date,” you reply, smiling as you walk to the door.

“Date?!?” John B blurts out, making Kie and Pope look up from their movie, “With who?”

“Ha ha,” you roll your eyes, grabbing your backpack, “Very funny,”

“No, seriously, with who?” Pope pipes up, Kie looking expectantly over his shoulder at you waiting for your answer.

You frown, looking between the three, “Your joking…right?”

They merely stare back at you, clearly not knowing who you were talking about.

“Uhhh… my date, with JJ,” you furrow your brows as Pope’s mouth drops open, “Obviously…”

“I’m sorry- WHAT?” Kie stares at you, gaping and hardly able to say anything else.

“You and JJ?” John B looks as confused as ever, trying to put together the pieces, “JJ as in my best friend?? Like 6ft blonde surfer guy… Like, JJ Maybank?

“Our JJ?” Pope adds, eyes wide.

You don’t get the chance to respond when the door to the chateau swings open, “Ready?” JJ flashes you a grin as he locks eyes with you.

“You two are together?!” Kie nearly yells the words as she jolts up from the couch, clearly in shock and disbelief.

“Yes?” JJ answers with somewhat of a question, unsure why the three are looking at him like he was crazy. He shifts his gaze back to you, raising his eyebrows and silently asking what the hell was going on.

“What the hell?” Pope is standing up next to Kie now as he crosses his arms, “Since when?” He demands.

“You guys are dating???” John B sounds exasperated, trying to keep up with the shocking news.

You share another confused look with JJ.

“Is this some kind of joke?” You deadpan, searching their eyes for any sign of humor and finding nothing.

“Guys,” JJ cocks his head to the side, “We’ve been together… we’ve been together for like 4 months now,”

“WHAT?”

“What do you mean, “what?”” You can barley contain your laughter as they nearly lose their minds, “You guys can’t be serious- it’s not like we kept it a secret! Where do you think we run off to all the time?”

“Four months?” Pope is speaking to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You guys are shitting me, right?” JJ stares at John B who is shaking his head no.

“I guess we never flat out said we were dating, but we just kinda assumed you guys knew,” you shrugged, truly amazed that none of your friends had picked up on it.

“I mean come on guys, you’re telling me you’ve never heard us?” JJ’s eyes drift to the spare bedroom of the chateau that he’d basically claimed his own since he came over so often. “Not to pat myself of the back, but she gets really loud-”

“JJ!“ Kie cuts him off abruptly and you bury your burning face in your hands in embarrassment.

John B looks in horror at the door and makes a face like he’s going to throw up.

“Real classy,” Pope frowns at JJ’s crudeness.

“What?!” He puts his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry, but I’m not wrong-”

“JJ!” You smack him on the arm, mortified. “Nobody wants to hear about that- let’s just go,” you drag him out the door and he sends the room a sheepish smile and a wave.

“We’ll be back later tonight!” You promise, trying to pull the door shut before JJ can say anything else.

“I’ll try and make sure Y/N is quiet-” The sound of you screaming at him to stop fills the air before the door finally slams shut, leaving John B, Kie, and Pope dazed and confused.

“What the hell just happened?” Kie ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to fully process what she’d just witnessed.

“I couldn’t even tell you if I tried,” Pope said, shaking his head in shock.

[z-and-the-space-child]

my head is all currently midnight burger podcast so here's everything i like about this wonderful piece of media:

it's pretty fun and very funny!! i smile like an idiot on public transport and on my way to class at least once a day listening to this.

the characters are so. idk how to describe them but theyre so full of life and you can tell that they are loved greatly by the creator(s)

the WRITING. i could seriously pluck a quote from damn near every episode to carry me through the day. i don't need affirmations i need gloria to talk me through my problems.

i was doing a lil analysis of the themes in this show and i came up with "the best thing you can ever do is the best thing you can do right now" and it is FUEL, babey.

The el triste monologue. also just gloria being a POC and being proud of herself and her culture. there's a lot of cultural mish-mash in podcasts, so this is very refreshing.

It's very, very sweet and heartfelt. kind of like wolf 359 if they communicated more instead of dodging their issues until they came to a peak (love them for it.)

the PHYSICS of it all. i'm a physics/astrophysics major because i think space and looking at the stars is my lifeblood so i won't shut up about it. i don't want ava and leif (certainly ava) to shut up about it ever. HOW much reasearch did they have to do to get this kinda grasp on it. im in awe, i'm LEARNING actual things from them. i could go on. the gravity waves, the stellar nuclear fusion, the time dilation of it all. and all without using over-flowery language!!! i can actually follow a good chunk of the time. are we sure ava didn't take one of those science communication seminars. maybe 5 phds does it. when she and leif talk i vibrate like an electron in a lazer. wonderful.

star sequencing??? stellar nucleosequencing??? right up my alley. thats my kinda stuff. the romanticization of space, i've seen. the romanticization of physics, however, is not something i haven't seen in such a beautiful modern fashion. (Ie, not oppenheimer or even richard feyman)

and it's not too science-y to the point that they think they can't have fun. yes they discuss the implications of gravity waves and wax poetic about space and pulsars. (it beats for you, berts) but they have FUN! they meet their parents because they can. they get a plant drunk. there's an atmosphere(?????) around the diner that allows them to fly around and mind-numbing speeds and look at the curvature of spacetime and also sit on the roof. (I imagine the entire place is the temperature of a summer night.) they have a whole wild west planet. leif builds things inexplicably. how? where does he get the materials??? shhhhh don't question it just let him have the gravity wave detector. nobody actually knows what engineers do, not even engineers. let him be. also time crystals??????

ALSO ava being a woman in stem and being so blunt yet covert about it. she's been dealing with it for so long. why are all (recognized) physicists a)white b) men c) both. it's such a sucky thing to work into because of the outward appearance. ava is a proud mad scientist which i aspire to so much. i am keeping her in my little arsenal of people to think about when i don't want to study. (picture the do it for her meme but it's pics of ava) I don't think i aptly put how much i love her. i'm not all the way finished yet but i've heard she was forced to marry someone? i think it would be a thing for sure if she cheated on him. so many physicists cheated on their spouses (wives ): ) and i think ava should also do it. as a treat. if that's what she'd like.

when people have done bad, bad things but show/are capable of redemption upon reflecting on their past/current shortcomings is just something that gets me so much directly in the heart. the hiddenness of people. the tragedy. we contain MULTITUDES and this show demonstrates that so well. how they support each other! they are everchanging and that's good for them. Leif the engineer the ex criminal the diner cook.

leif exploding a man in cold blood. if i could draw i'd draw that. maybe i will anyways.

food as a form of affection/way to bond. grief. doing your best. making amends. using the time you have. death is inevitable but that's okay.

And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember we’re out there, somewhere, lookin’ for ya’

they open at six

[jazzfordshire]

i have a question about ancient history, from one lesbian to another 👀

what do you think is the reason most of Sappho's poetry was lost? i've heard it was ordered to be burned by the Church in the 11th century b/c of its explicit and homosexual themes, but i've also heard it simply wasn't preserved because it was "too obscure" or simply wasn't valued enough for people to bother.

i wanted to know your take on this because i don't really know if i can trust some random male authors from the mid 20th century to give an unbiased perspective. 😂

I don’t know if you can trust me either!!! I wouldn’t classify myself as qualified, just someone with a Classics/Medieval Studies BA and a vested lesbian interest in Sappho lmao. She’s someone that it’s really impossible to know anything solid about.

The burning thing is a really common claim, though! Medieval Christians did burn a lot of things. Late medieval and Renaissance scholars liked to point the finger at earlier scholars and claim that famous works didn’t exist anymore because the people who came before them burned it. But nobody has ever really proven that from what I can tell?

From what I know based entirely on writing one (1) undergrad paper, Sappho’s poetry surviving to the degree that it has - something like 600 or 700 lines of it I think? - is actually really rare! Sappho is pretty well preserved for her time period, probably because she was famous even in antiquity. Most of her fragments are on papyrus, which is a really delicate material that only preserves well in certain conditions (a lot of her fragments have been found in Egypt, which is super dry and preserves papyrus pretty well), so I honestly think materials and time are the culprit more than anything. Sometimes things just don’t get preserved.

A lot of people in the medieval period were actually likely subscribing to the later Roman view of Sappho written about by Ovid, which was based on a Greek play from like, 300 years after she died, where she was a straight woman who threw herself off a cliff because her male lover rejected her. So they didn’t even really see her as queer, necessarily. But that’s the thing about history! It’s all just pieced together from different accounts and myth and fiction and we do the best we can, lmao.

[andordean]

Intro Post Is Here

I promised myself I would make an intro post with my fic list when I hit a followers milestone, and lo and behold, the time has come to make good on that promise. 

(Breathe in. You got this, Dor. Ok, here we go.)

Welcome, friends. If you followed me sometime in the last year and a half, here’s a funny story for you: I used to write Witcher fics (a lot even, at one point) (and I pray I will write again, though at the moment brain be words what no speaky English). (But I digress.)

What you can find on my blog: shitposting, sarcasm, salt—and Ciri. A lot of Ciri. (Often tagged as: "brat <3". No reason.) Also, many Ciri pairings. We support most Ciri pairings in this house.

What you can find on my AO3: Also a lot of Ciri in different pairings, or sometimes in multiple pairings, as (a) I am a multishipper and (b) Ciri is bi and can do no wrong and (c) has two hands and a hatred for cages and also (d) poly/open relationships are the new love triangles and we need more of them, actually.

Specifically:

"Blood Ties" verse, aka Queen of Cintra verse (aka mammoth), or a 100k words novel in three parts about what happens if neither witchering nor ruling the empire (nor dying, I guess) fully satisfies our girl's ambitions. (Answer: let’s go and shake up the geopolitical landscape of the post-TW3 Continent, reclaim your throne, piss off Dijkstra in the process, make new allies and enemies both, grow and heal, get what you wanted, find indulgence, and also love. Ships aplenty, including some nobody else thought of. Just saying.)

"Broken Pieces" verse, or what happens if Cahir survives, but somewhat fails to move on (he tries), and Ciri fails to be indifferent (she also tries). (Answer: witchering shenanigans, but also some family reunions, Ceallach being a Smart Cookie, Geralt being the Daddest Dad, Ciri being a brat, but also right, but also needing a reality check and to get her head out of her ass. Spoiler alert: happy/bittersweet ending. It’s Witcher-verse, after all.)

"Splinters" verse, or what happens when the author develops a brainrot. (Answer: modern!AU with the main theme being: everyone is thirsty for Cahir/Eamon’s hands. Banter, pinning, thirst, smut, and more banter. Past that comes back to bite everyone in the ass, heartbreak, and a happy ending. Always a happy ending. And Angouleme being the Best Gremlin.)

“The Ghost of You”, or what happens when Ciri gets Ideas, and tries to use Cahir to get what she wants. (Formerly known as the Cancel WIP. Mind the tags with this one; set during LotL, unhealthy coping mechanisms aplenty, trauma and PTSD galore, leading to the first steps of healing. It’s always, always about healing with these two.)

“Sing To Me In The Dark”, or what happens if Cahir finds himself in Kaer Morhen to help defend it from the Hunt. (Answer: the author wants to know too. Although the author mostly knows, but brain no speaky English, see above.)

“Hunter’s Moon”, or what happened in Beauclair during the hansa stay there, from the point of view of a certain succubus. (Answer: a certain vampire attempting to be a smartass, not always succeeding; smut and banter, and more smut. Also, a heartbreak.)

If you like any of the above and tell me about it, chances are I’ll be making you a birthday gift the following year.

In the meantime, enjoy the shitposting, the salt, the sarcasm—and Ciri.

[bonesandthebees]

*clears throat*

Anyway…

Things I liked about this chapter in no particular order:

The flashback with Niki and Quackity

Quakcity warning Wilbur about the bandits indirectly, doubles as foreshadowing and a hint that he’s behind it (though let’s be honest, it was probably Schlatt’s idea)

Oh and you should have seen my face when I realised [“Hand him over!”] I swear puzzle pieces have never snapped into place faster in my brain. I literally went “OH FUCK QAUACKITY WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Niki might think that Wilbur is lying again but I don’t have the mental energy to think about that right now for obvious reasons.

I cannot stress enough how much I’m here for this.

The l’manburg backstory. I was trying to put it together and analyse which character’s would be narrative parallels only the realise that it was literal based off of actually canon pogtopia and c!Wilbur and c!Tommy. I love it. Also made me think of Niki when she does not get the throne.

Wilbur saving Tommy’s life (twice? Attempted at least). Nothing says bonding like life or death situations.

Also at first I thought it might be something meant to be part of it or a plan by Phil and then the foreshadowing hit me like a truck.

Put Quackity and Schlatt on the most likely to be executed list right now. Not because I think Wilbur is smart enough to figure it out but because the person who was trailing him might.

Also, I love the consistent pov and the way you write it, but I would pay actual money to know how everyone reacts. I want my sand duo angst of Phil sending his son away against his will only to learn that might have killed him. I want to watch them turn the country upside down. I want to see Quackity in shambles because he might have killed his friends and the man he loves (? Is it mutual?) I want to see Niki’ reaction. But alas, we get Tommy and Wilbur in a SITUATION. Instead.

I do fully believe people will come looking for them, but now I’m worried we will get a chapter of snowstorm in the wilderness first.

Again I better get a sand duo hug after this is done. I need Wilbur to know that his dad loves him.

Also, at first I was like, “I wonder why Jack isn’t here?” Then the guards started getting sliced and I was like “oh that!s why.” Nobody gets plot armour in here. Jack’s cranckyness just saved his life.

Also, Tomys copying the way Wilbur eats his food tells us he looks up to him and trust his judgement. Maybe he did something right with his paranoia expenation.

Also, the consequences for this are going to be so good whether Wilbur figures out it was Quackity or not.

Anyway, I’m going to bed now. So good night! And a good day to you!!! What a great chapter I did not see that coming at all but I love it.

P.s. AO3 is being mean and Wouldn’t let me comment “BEE, WHAT THE FUCK!” but that genuinely was my first reaction.

-🌲

lol thank you, a lot of the flashback bit regarding wilbur and niki changed from what it was originally planned to be. I don't know how it happened but I got really into the flow of the scene and I'm very happy with how it turned out

HA the puzzle pieces falling into place about the bandits right at that moment. just "what's going on- OH"

I'm very glad you picked up on the l'manberg story not only being c!crime but also the parallels it could hold to rose!niki

life or death situations are the best for bonding!

don't be so sure we're only staying in wilbur's POV this time around spruce :)

LMAO yeah literally while I was writing about them leaving the palace in the morning I was like "shit wait I can't have jack here but I need to come up with an explanation for why he's not here" and jack's morning crankiness came about. he would've been killed so quickly by those bandits and I don't want this story to lose The Manifold so soon

wilbur and tommy eating their lunch is like that meme of miles morales and peter b parker in the first spiderverse movie you know the one

[mayullla]

I’m glad you liked my suggestion for the Three Wishes (genie yandere) part 2! Yea…sorry it was long…I tend to write long asks when I get worked up over something I like…

I you ever need more inspiration, (especially with stories that are fairy-tale like), just post “help” on your blog and I’ll come flying in…probably. I don’t ever wanna harass you or come off that way.

I love what you wrote so far for an idea. I don’t think you need to include the later half of the story. Definitely don’t force yourself. I only included it cause I wanted to tell you the full story and make sure you had various story elements to pick and choose from. But if you did wanna include some later parts of the story…here’re an idea…

Prince gets turned into an ape, with genie trying to decide what other animals he can turn him into for his amusement.

Prince manages to run away before he’s turned into anything else (as an ape).

Prince finds a Princess or some woman in general, relays his story to her, and she decides to teach him magic to fight off the genie himself. (In my book, the Princess says that they’re “70 rules of magic” I believe. Don’t know if they’re actual literal rules…).

Prince breaks his own curse (or maybe the woman does it for him), and heads to confront the genie.

Prince engages in the magical transformation fight with the genie.

Now this is where you decide if you want yandere genie to win, or Prince…cause this story idea is gonna end with one of them dying…

6.a. Prince wins, killing the genie, and marrying Reader.

6.b. Yandere genie wins, killing the Prince, and once again victorious with Reader still by his side.

6.c. Prince wins, killing the genie, but maybe the flames the genie bursts into ends up cursing the Prince. (Cause remember, the Prince did loose an eye in the original story from the magic battle). So now the Prince has a piece of the genie in him for as long as he lives? Inheriting some of the genie’s personality and habits.

6.d. Yandere genie wins, killing the Prince, but maybe the flames the Prince bursts into ends up cursing the genie. So now the genie has a piece of the Prince in him for as long as he lives? Inheriting some of the Prince’s personality and habits.

6.e. Yandere genie wins, killing the Prince, and once again victorious with Reader still by his side, but he “wears” the Prince’s face and body (for funzzies), taking over his kingdom and identity. Leaving Reader to be even more traumatized probably…

Hopefully this can help get more gears running! 🩷🩷🩷

You don't know how quickly I turned my head when I read that last idea of yours. My eyes went wide and it was a done deal for me and the many wips I have lmaooo

Don't worry too much about spamming my inbox with fairytales, folktales, mythology and etc. Personally, I find those things so fun to make stories out of. But I could sometimes be lazy in searching for stories like that ehehe... ^^' So i usually limit myself to stories like cinderella and little red riding hood or maybe greek myths since I was one time obsessed with it when i was younger.

Secret between you and me (nobody knows promise!! *sweats*) I personally love writing reader's suffering when it comes to original works without the fandoms. I personally dont like writing a reader dying or too gory stuff.... I think... who knows i might unlock something if i try-

The story for me becomes too complicated to write if I add too much of the later part when most of my focus is how to make this as yandere as possible with too much of a side story happening in the one-shot do not have much patience for that. But I personally like the idea of making the prince suffer a bit by the genie bullying him by changing him into many animals. I don't want to follow too much of the story so I am gonna change the prince to like the son of a rich man who doesn't really have a lot of things going.

Maybe Genie kills the guy but like [“wears” the Prince’s face and body (for funzzies), taking over his kingdom and identity.] I need this. hehehehehehehehheheheheheh the idea of like people thinking the genie is the son of that rich man or is the rich man himself while the reader is trying to say that is not the case but poor her with just a click of his finger the genie could make people just not believe her at all as if teasing her for childish with her husband or some sort.

[tcookies777]

Life update - returning to college and how it feels as an older student

First off, for any new TAOL readers here, welcome! Thank you for your comments and for investing so much of your time in binging The Anatomy of Love. I just want to apologize again, to both older and newer readers, for my agonizingly slow comment moderation and my lack in replies. I'm not ignoring your comment out of maliciousness or anything like that - I just lack the time and mental energy but that is not to say I don't appreciate your support!

As many of you who've read my previous post and/or chapter ANs are aware of, I've returned to university to finish my 2nd degree. English/literature had always been a great passion of mine but not the most practical career path for me, so I had to quit it in my youth.

Years later, I'm finally pursuing my dream through the best english program my country has to offer and it is everything I could dream of. The academic quality is superb and every day I am working and studying myself to the bone, reading nearly a dozen books a week and typing papers until the words start swimming on the screen.

Among these joys lie the challenges as well. One being that I lean toward the older side of the demographics, which puts me in a minority as opposed to the many young and fresh-faced college students. I've made many friends and met many classmates who assume I am as young as them but their jaws drop when they realize my real age. There is certainly a discrepancy between us in terms of life experience and more, but it is also refreshing and often enlightening to hear perspectives and ideas from the young, creative minds of these trailblazers.

Being in different generations definitely feels weird at times, but what's truly strange - and even a little heartbreaking - is seeing all these young students strive so far and work so hard to the point that the competitiveness created becomes toxic and detrimental to their health.

I have a classmate who is taking 20 units worth of classes (when 12 is the average given how intense the workload is), has 3 part-time jobs, and commits 20 hours of volunteering a week. During an exam day, a window fell on him and broke his arm. Instead of going to the hospital, he insisted on taking his exam with a broken arm because he could not make time to accommodate for his wellbeing.

I met a freshman girl who suffered a mental breakdown when she got rejected from all the school clubs after dozens and dozens of interviews.

The reason behind all the intense competition is because many of these students are fresh out of high school where they've spent the past 4+ years committing to 10 extracurriculars and 20 Advance Placement classes and 1000 volunteer hours so that they can graduate at the top 1% of the class to (hopefully) attend such top universities. But it gets to the point where we're taught that instead of learning for the sake of learning, we're learning for the sake of getting that piece of paper aka the diploma.

And there are many professors who can recognize the difference between the former and the latter in a student of theirs. And there are many professors who will refuse to give even their A+ students a Letter of Rec because they feel that student is not genuinely passionate enough for whatever grad school or internship.

When I was 18 and crying over the stress of nursing school and feeling I was too dumb compared to everyone else, I wish I had someone to tell me to take a deep breath and RELAX.

So now I want to say it for any new or incoming college students that might be reading this: Relax.

Your career will not be over if you do not get into that club. Your social life is not dead just because nobody invited you to a frat party. You are not a loser if you don't have 10+ best friends. You getting a B or C on a paper does not mean your final grade can no longer be an A.

Yes, go to your professor's office hours but talk to them about things besides the coursework - let them get to know you as a person rather than as just a student. That's how they will really remember you among all the other students, and that's how they'll be able to write about you in their letter.

No, you're not dumber than everyone else. That's your imposter syndrome talking. I promise you that whatever idea, question, or concern you have about the course material, there is 100% another student in your class who shares the exact same thing. If you're struggling, 100% there are other students in your class who are struggling as much as you. Don't compare yourself to your peers because we're all battling our own problems and insecurities but we're just hiding it. Focus on yourself.

Be nice to everyone you meet no matter what because you never know what networking opportunities will arise in the near or far future out of that one interaction. Within 1 month of school, I was already offered an internship at a prestigious publishing house just because I let a girl in class borrow my book and we ended up becoming close friends. That network chain was conceived all because I was just nice enough to share my book with her in class.

Most importantly, be nice to yourself! You are smarter than you think you are. And just because you didn't achieve your goal, that doesn't necessarily mean it's your fault or you're a failure. Sometimes to get to your destination you need to take a different path compared to the path you see everyone else taking. And sometimes it's just not meant to be... yet.

Anyway, I'm extremely lucky and privileged to be able to say I am enjoying my 2nd round of university (especially after much pain and suffering in the first round). Which is a major reason why my updates for TAOL have been erratic and my comment moderation slow, but I will continue to do my best in updating whenever I can!

(And if there's even the slimmest chance one of you readers here might be attending the same uni as me, let's vote Chris Pine as our speaker! We must get the arts some representation and love)

Thank you for reading and I will see you soon in the next update 👀

[whenyourshipfinallysetssail]

Just some random

STRANGER THOUGHTS 2

***SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4***

*****My smoldering hot-takes on the season’s hottest DILF. 🥵******

Jeezus, is it a million and one degrees in here, or am I trapped in a Russian Prison with Enzo?

See, that’s funny because you’d think a Russian prison would be cold, but then there’s a hot DILF in there.

Question number one: ok yeah enemies to lovers but has anyone ever tried “helpful prison guard to sexy cell mate?” Is that a trope? Can we make it one?

Now you’re probably asking yourself, does this crazy bitch ship Hopper and Enzo?

And the answer is yes, of course I do, but not in an “I’m gonna be mad if this show doesn’t make this cannon” sort of way. I know nobody is queer-baiting me here. If anyone is queer-baiting me it’s me. I’m very good at it, thank you very much. I can imagine incredibly straight men are in love when they’re on screen together in my eyeline for too long. That said, Ronance, Steddie, Byler, and Jargyle: make it canon or we riot. [How fucking dumb was it when they just threw a random chick at Argyle to show the audience he’s got a big case of the not-gays? Who cares. This show loves smashing straights against each other. Show me some bi 80’s teens or shut the fuck up. Also, watch out, everybody, cause the Mileven Mafia is about to come gunning for me: I don’t give one single fuck about Mike and El’s relationship and I never have. El’s busy, guys. She’s got a whole “facing down an inter-dimensional existential threat/I’ve got two dads but one is abusive and one’s in a gulag” thing going on. Fuckin’ don’t make her date a boy right now.]

Now, back to that gulag. Ah, Enzo. Dimitri “Enzo” Antonov. My imaginary boyfriend that someone else imagined for me, who is never going to date my other imaginary boyfriend from Season 1 [on TV, at least. In head canon it’s already happening and you can’t stop it] for two reasons: A) because obviously Jopper is a thing and the writers aren’t going to suddenly drop that just because we got season 2 of the gay pirates. (But wouldn’t that be WILD? What if they had shot two versions of the ending and they held back Vol. 2 so they could use the gay ending if Our Flag Means Death got renewed? Would the internet survive the aftermath?) And B) my two boyfriends can never date because canonically Season 1 Hopper died in Season 3 when the Duffer Brothers got amnesia and started telling David Harbor to just scream at everyone in every scene. RIP, baby. I still love you.

[Side-Note: I’ve got so many good hashtags for this ship you guys: #jimitri #hopptonov #enzopper #hoppzo. They write themselves. These men fit like puzzle pieces. Sexy, sexy little puzzle pieces. Mmmm. Cold, boys? Why don’t you two papa bears snuggle up for warmth? Yeah . . . Yeah . . . That’s real cozy . . . . . . . ANYWAY]

And of course, C) #jimzo #twopigsinablanket [lol, they’re both cops] is never gonna happen because they’re absolutely setting up my glorious Russian cinnamon roll for a tragic heroic death.

Look, snow-muffin, I love you. You’re the steely-eyed, growly-voiced, salt and peachy mustached, true friend to the death, morally grey Russian with a not-so-secret heart of gold of my fuckin’ dreams. I’d watch a whole spin off that’s just you teaching your son to ice fish in silence. I want you and Mikhail to defect to America and move in with Jim and El and wind up in a super bi thrupple with Chief Hopper and my self insert OC. (Her name is Azelia Moondragon, she has three different color eyes, she can change genitalia at will, she has an IQ of 3.6 billion, and and she’s more powerful than the Mind Flayer, Vecna,El, and eight demogorgons put together . . . Nah, just fuckin’ with you. Her name’s Kate Kauffman and she’s a 38 year old therapist from New Jersey with a secret drinking problem.)

Listen, my ice duke, my proud Siberian wolf, my shot of Svayak with a spoonful of caviar, we both know you could have an AMAZING arc in Season 5. We both know you could wind up snatched by the US government and forced to remain at the lab in Hawkins while the feds scramble to cover up the existence of the Demogorgon you saw, that you could have a moving side mission to bring your son to the US illegally while you help your bestest pal Hop and his annoying girlfriend [no, she’s fine, it’s fine, I like her, they’re good together, not all the hot men want to kiss each other, and that’s ok] parent their sulky teens and save the damn world.

We both know you could fall madly, passionately in love with the mysterious new psychologist that the lab hires to provide you and the other Demogorgon survivors “trauma and readjustment therapy,” but who has secretly been tasked with wiping your memory so you can never go back to Russia and tell the world what you know. We’re both well aware that after she succumbs to your arctic-foxlike charm, Dr. Kate Kauffman could never bare to wipe your memories, that she would instead confess that she is not a psychiatrist, she is in fact a powerful psychic, a subject of the experiment that preceded Hawkins Lab, that in a fit of tears as she laid bare her secrets she would lift up her sleeve to reveal the mark on her wrist, faded, but perfectly legible: “000,” and then as you took her in your arms and told me no harm has been done, all is forgiven, you’re here to protect me now, the two of us would begin to float into the . . .

*Ahem* At any rate . . .

My beautiful near-winter ermine, we both know you have so much potential as a character. But it’s time for both of us to face the harsh, cold facts, so much colder and more harsh than the winters of your beloved homeland.

Dimitri, my darling, here are the reasons we both know you’re definitely not making it out of Season 4 alive:

1) You’ve got a son to get back to. ROOKIE mistake, my love. I’m frankly astonished at you. And you revealed it RIGHT before the big monster battle? I mean, why don’t you just do a big monologue about how you two are going to open up an awesome rabbit farm when you get home? Do you WANT to die? Baby, I volunteer for a suicide hotline. Next time you feel compelled to confess touching details about yourself the night before you face a deadly threat right at the end of a season arc, call me. We can talk it through. You have so many reasons to live!

And of course, that is why you are going to die.

2) Where is Mikhail’s mom?

Now, this one’s interesting. Arguments COULD be made this could go either way.

The facts are these:

You’ve made zero mention of your wife in all this “reflecting upon our lives as we stare into the gaping maw of death” talk. MAYBE your wife divorced you, and that’s why you don’t like to talk about her. Seems unlikely, given Hop got you to punch him by implying she was disloyal. (Although we can’t rule out the possibility that that remark hit just a little too close to home. Perhaps your drive to be seen as a hero of the Motherland in the eyes of your son stems from a need to demonstrate you are the REAL daddy, a bigger, braver, cooler man than the stepfather his mother left you for? Interesting. We can discuss this again in your next session, Dimitri. That is, if we even do any talking next time . . . I mean, what? Huh? Oh! Right, the thingy. Yeah, sorry, I uh, got distracted by the . . . Nevermind.)

ANYWAY, the much more likely answer is, Mikhail’s mommy is deadzo. You are not only a DILF, you are a hot widower, and the show runners are saving this juicy detail for the inevitable “calm before the coming storm,” beat, the moment just before your heroic sacrifice during the final battle or the crazy escape sequence, when Hop says something cheesy like “You’ve got to rest up. Tomorrow you’re gonna need all your strength to hug that wife and kid of yours.”

And you’ll stare just left of camera with your gorgeous, steely gaze, and you’ll say in your low, haunted voice “I will need strength for only one hug. I am all the family my son has left.”

BOOM. You’re dead. The emotional stakes just got higher and all the Duffer Brothers have to do now is fry ‘em up in the bacon grease of tragic irony and serve them to the audience with a side of mashed dream-potatoes as we weep for you. Now your son is an orphan! And Season 5 has a ready-made cute Russian to bring in and fatten with all our collective emotional investment before the final slaughter. [Fun fact: the third ritual sacrifice of a beloved fictional Russian in a series opens an actual real portal to a hell-dimension in our world!!! The last one opened on January 15, 1968, when the finale of The Man From U.N.C.L.E was broadcast! It was only closed by “chance” when the counter spell was “unwittingly” triggered by casting Armie Hammer as Illya Kuryakin in the GUY RITCHIE directed remake. GUY RITCHIE. Did you know he made a King Arthur Movie?! The Lock, Stock, and Every Movie Jason Statham Has Ever Been in guy. Made a remake of a 60’s tv show and a King Arthur movie with WAY TOO MANY GOD DAMN WIZARDS. Anyway, like I said, luckily the portal was closed, but the things which came from its depths still roam our Earth, seeking raw flesh and fun 60’s fashion accessories. Remember, Ritchie has more dark power and arcane knowledge than he’s letting on, and always wear an ascot or a cute colorful beret when you go out or you will perish horribly!]

Then again, there is a hopeful reading of the no-wife-scenario. MAYBE, dead wife means no strings to hold down the season 5 Enzo romantic D plot. MAYBE they’re leaving you open for more hasty and gratuitous hetero coupling! Doctor Kauffman?! Paging Doctor Kauffman to the set of Stranger Things Season 5! They’re prepping for your close up! And after that, you’re making ST history, they’re setting up to shoot the show’s first sex scene with two adults!!!

[remember when we watched two teens awkwardly fuck while Barb was gruesomely murdered in Season 1? That scene has gotten even LESS comfortable somehow as the actors have aged. You look back and see how young they look compared to now and you’re like “yikes! I know the actors were actually twenty, but please! No more babies fucking, thanks!” Glad they stopped doing that shit. If I had to watch El and Mike fuck I’d hurl, for more reasons than one. LEAVE HER ALONE AND LET HER FIGURE OUT HER SHIT GOD DAMN IT I DON’T NEED TO SEE HER PUNCH MIKE’S V CARD I DON’T CARE THIS ISN’T EUPHORIA ITS A GOD DAMN SCI FI 80’s THROWBACK FUN TIME ABOUT PSYCHIC BABIES!]

So, yeah, no wife could mean free meat for the season five Hetero-pairing meat grinder! There’s hope!

. . . Hope? . . . Who am I kidding? I’m sorry, Dimitri, but this is no time, no world for hope! This is Stranger Things! Do you really think we’re gonna make it out of another season with two new cast members still alive like we did in Season 2? No. No, in the end they killed Billy for his hubris in daring to outlast Bob Newby. All good looking things must end, my dear. Let us kill hope now, before she hurts us again.

3) This Show Fucking Loves Killing Precious Russian Moonbeams [alternatively titled “Are The Duffer Brothers Attempting to Summon The Ravening One From Beyond the 9,000th Eye?!?! Stay Tuned For Season 4 to Find Out!”]

I don’t know if, like, everyone in Russia knows everyone in Russia, but, like, probably not? It looks like a pretty big country on the map. But, Enzy, baby, can I call you Enzy? No? Ok, well, Antonov, sweetheart, do you remember Alexi? He was this really cute, funny, enjoyable Russian sidekick they had last season. We had so much fun with him! At first, we thought he was this bad Russian scientist who was going to help screw over our beloved friends, but in the end, he actually teamed up with them! We all really came to love Alexi! He was kind of a fan favorite! People wrote long, rambling things with a lot of weird jokes in them about him on Tumblr. And then . . .

Sound familiar?

Call me a pessimist, but I just don’t think the Duffer Bros can pass up an opportunity to murder a beloved fictional Russian. Besides, it has been long since the gate was opened. The Ravening One cries out for more tender flesh from our own corporeal plane. Its inessence rumbles, its dark mindlessness bends upon our dimension with all the fell, unfeeling intent and obsession of otherworldly instincts. The Duffer Brothers are thinking of doing a 60’s throwback for their next show, and Guy Ritchie is slated to direct the first seance, I mean episode! . . . Plus they’re like so attentive to details, they’d never kill three Russians on accident! Or forget their birthdays.

Dimitri “Enzo” Nikolai Andronic Niklosky Antonov, we could play this little game of denial, dream this little dream of happiness, torture ourselves a little while longer with what can never be. But neither you nor I are fools. Let us say goodbye now. Let us bid farewell to visions of you doing a really cool group side mission for one or two episodes with Steeve and Eddie and Robin and Nancy and Dustin and Max and El. Let us not cling any longer to fantasies of an episode beat where the adults go out on the town and you and Hopper get in a big bar fight with some assholes who are teasing Joyce and Murray, and you do lots of cool punching to some banging 1987 hit like, I don’t know, RICK ASTLEY’S “NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP?!?!?!” [Did I do it? Does it count as Rick Rolling if it’s in text?]

Let us let go once and for all of our wistful longing for all the dopamine-explosion moments as you interact and bond and integrate with the entire Stranger Things ensemble, the giddy spectacle of novel combination after novel recombination of beloved characters, that heady right of passage of exploring increasingly bizarre pairings and group dynamics all new ST characters who survive their first season are treated to, until the dread Season 5 finale ultimately tears them all assunder as the eldritch gods of the Upsidedown inevitably triumph and wipe all away with one mighty, slimy tendril of inter-dimensional horror.

All I can say, Enzipie, Dimipants, Antobutt, is that it’s been one hell of a ride. You may be just a corrupt guard of some remote, snowy prison in the middle of nowhere, betrayed by his crooked accomplice, imprisoned alongside his former captive, escaped with the aide of unlikely allies, and doomed by the conventions of narrative drama to die, but you melted my heart.

At least we get to keep Eddie! . . . Right? Duffers? DUFFERS?!

TOUCH HIM AND YOU DIE, GOD DAMN IT!!!

*begins sobbing and singing unintelligible Russian dirges while pounding the table rhythmically with fist*

[eirian]

Just some general advice as I see your posts on occassion on my feed and your current breakdowns on your financials but my guy you should probably get a standard job along side your art.

I say this mostly in a place of I've been there done that sort of thing, I used art to support myself for years while also working a regular 9-5 and while eventually I discovered that doing art fulltime wasn't my thing I can't stress enough that not going forward and getting a regular job to support yourself and your wife when you know you are just barely making it (in your own words) is a borderline lazy thing to do.

Your financials are a major priorty and it shows a lack of character when you can't see that you need to make an effort in a different position. And as someone who also immensely struggles with mental illness also I can tell you that getting that regular 9-5 can help alot with your health. Like for one it can get you moving so minimal excersise is taken care of, possible better money flow and a break from the computer also helps with settling your thoughts. It can be stressful and exaughsting but having a concrete ground of what you're doing along side of art also may give you some piece of mind.

I implore you to just start looking for a regular job to take off some of the stress and it could defo help you loose weight to just from little things that you crowd out

Joint pain is avoided with excersise, breathing problems lifted with regular activity and a little stamina training

San antonio is a booming economic city there are a shit ton of jobs you can get and i know it can be overwhelming especially when mental illness can hold you back but in a loving sense you fr just need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get shit done or else you're always going to suffer man

i super appreciate this sentiment and im not going to get defensive like my initial reaction usually is to someone telling me to "get a real job" b/c i do see youre genuinely trying to help me out and give me advice so thank you

my problem honestly is that i dont see myself as fit to having a "job job" as i am right now. i feel like all im good at/able to do is art, and thats why i put all of my effort into that. basically i dont have enough confidence in my abilities outside of art :(

constant thoughts of "what if it makes me miserable? what if i do a horrible job b/c its not art?" and etc. yknow? i feel like i need to work on myself mentally a little still

like to be fair i have looked for in person jobs around san antonio, on MULTIPLE occasions. ive had a few interviews even. ive held a job for a couple months at an aquarium (granted it was art--caricatures) but that was a couple years ago and i was in a worse mental place than i am right now so it only lasted a couple months and i was like..miserable, even though i was doing art. everywhere else i had an interview just didnt want me bc of my lack of experience (which is stupid bc i was genuinely making an effort to get these jobs and how else am i supposed to get experience if not from Your Business like????? cmon. anyway)

a major problem even outside of myself is that, between my wife and i, we only have one car. i am planning to learn to drive genuinely and getting my own vehicle, but right now we only have one ride between us, and she has a full time job so she cant take care of driving me to my job all the time and i wouldnt want to put that on her anyway. so thats also an issue we run into when it comes to me having a job job

trust me i do on occasion look for "actual" jobs outside of my commissions. ive applied to a lot and nobody ever gets back to me or if they do they dont want me, which both very much hurt my confidence in getting a job outside of art but thats another issue i think. if i want to get a non-art job i think i'll be forced to try a work from home route like data entry again or something

again, i thank you for wanting to help and i appreciate it and apologize for basically responding with a bunch of excuses but i want you to understand my position as well u_u/ i dont post a lot (if..at all) about when i do non-art job searches bc i never feel like theyll work out and so far they havent but i honestly havent given up the idea, i do think about this a Lot, way more than i let on, and i do go back and forth searching for non-art jobs on occasion when things feel really rough. so its not something thats lost on me

[atomatowriter]

Highlights from Prismatic Dawn battle (the Remire Village battle for those who know FE3H):

Celin got dropped to 9 HP because she was in the center of a big AOE spell (not fireball but idk what it was) an took a shit ton of fire damage, ran over to heal Dimitri and Dedue who also took a shit ton of fire damage, and she then took more damage at the end of her turn bc she wouldn't leave the big fire without them. Also at one point there was some action confusion and Dimitri got to run out of the big fire but Dedue didn't leave until Celin was out. They truly are both like that. 😭

I learned that Celin's horse has a higher wisdom score than she does.

We were so spread out across the battlefield that we all had pieces of what was going on and nobody had all of it. Celin did not actually do a lot of fighting, she mostly got some kids to safety, pulled some knights out of fires (we joked about modern AU firefighter Celin and I want this), and, as I put it "ran back and forth like a frantic collie just going 'EVERYBODY STAY IN ONE PLACE.'" Consequently, she has no idea that a) the Flame Emperor was there, b) Sven's dad (the main Slither guy in our game bc Cressida replaced Thales and Solon, etc. with other characters) was there fucking shit up again, c) the unconscious girl she healed and ran out of the battlefield was an Agarthan but also sort of Sven's half-sister? and d) the kids she got out of the fire at the start of the battle were Kyrie's resurrected siblings????????

Cressida on some of those points: "But does she have kind of an idea?" Me: "She has a wisdom of 9 so no."

At one point Dimitri went into a rage and ran off the map to go fight the Death Knight and half of us were like BITCH and followed him but my brain leapt from that to remembering how, historically in the Fire Emblem: Three Houses video game when Dimitri goes off map to charge after an enemy, it does not go well for him to realizing, "Yeah if Dimitri dies, Celin is gonna straight up tell Dedue about our Crest of Flames shit and also our access to resurrection rituals. I know we promised to keep it a secret but if he dies she's IMMEDIATELY gonna tell Dedue that she has a way to bring him back to life because she doesn't trust what he'll do if he thinks Dimitri is permadead." (We have, in the past, resurrected Mercedes.)

After the fight was over, Dimitri was super pissed, as...you know, is canon. Celin saw how there were so many more bodies of villagers than there were the people who actually caused this and in the mindlink to Sylvain was like "Yeah I get the anger though." Also on that point, she said "FUCK" or "GODDESS DAMNIT" in the mindlink in a panic like three times during the battle so I think she's fully embraced that she is now a person who swears. This is her life now. She lost her religion, she and her friends are in dangerous and emotionally wrought situations every five minutes, someone experimented on a bunch of innocent villagers, and she is a person who says fuck now.

Kyrie and Solstice had a talk with the Flame Emperor that was very tense where FE was basically like "Join me." And Kyrie and Solstice were like "Give us more information please." And FE was like "No information, only join me." However, they did say the whole "the world will be purged in flames and made anew."

I realized that while I would love to have a Golden Route, I don't know if CELIN is gonna be capable of it. Because she's very "reform not abolish" - and also feels like Slither is at the root of most of the bad shit, so while the Church has some things to answer for it's not...the big bad here??? - and she would respond to "the world will be purged in flames" with like " respectfully no?????????? we live in the world???????? a lot of people live in the world???????? people die when you purge them in flame." Also Edelgard's whole "Yeah I don't want children to suffer anymore...and so I'm going to start a war and kill thousands but after that when the world is exactly what I want it to me then they'll be fine" is not something I ever see her siding with. Our Black Eagles character, Sven, has like an A support with Edelgard and may have a shot at persuading her out of the war thing (but a long shot since Edelgard's main personality trait is being...unyielding), but has said that ultimately if he can't, he's already pledged himself to her and would side with her. So we might go into the post timeskip with some of the PCs, who all deeply love each other, on opposite sides of the war. 😬

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Friday the 13th (1980) - Kill Count" on YouTube

There's a lot to be said about this certain people will not leave our son alone and they die in this film quite a few times and this particular film Brad dies three times and his wife sister dies three times she's decapitated the first day and that was yesterday last night that is. They're horrible horrible losers and mean people but really dumb it's not worth saying stuff to our son if you get decapitated. And that's what's happening to you idiots and it was gross because she had a tilted cut and the veins emptied out and it looked like cartilage or something and it's sticking out and she thought it was very gross too it fell over and the head went flying almost into the water and she stormed off and said we'll see you in hell you b**** she's a massive b**** and the idiot was on the bridge again he said she's not here cuz she's recuperating so no s*** she shouldn't be here she's asked not to be here told not to be here she shows up and one way or another Tommy F hasn't beheaded and I said don't don't do the bridge thing and here you are maybe you don't like life anymore no you're not listening with logic or your brain or anything then you're f*** you're f****** dead just shut the f****** and go die and f*** you you weasel cry or f****** life away I don't care run home do I have a heart attack who f****** cares get out of my face you suck you're so stupid you come by you're doing the job and you don't believe it you don't know it you don't understand it you can't figure it out and you get killed then you would try and blame me and it's your dumb f****** fault I am so sick of you retards you're so goddamn dumb you're going to die because of what you're doing right now f****** around with me on the bridge you piece of dumb s*** and other people are killing you and I told you about it isn't care for me telling you about it so he makes it miserable but boy you're not worth telling you don't know anything doesn't matter if I tell you or not I'm telling you cuz you're such a huge pain in the f****** nuts you little f**** you're going to die just like Dan for being here you stupid c***... So goes on and on he knows I'm still going to die he says he's still going to die yeah go up to Crystal lake and get it over with let Jason hack you up again so he's trying to figure something out he doesn't want the matrix discovered he doesn't want them walking in the bridge and it's mission stuff nobody gives a s*** and what he says is I can just cross the bridge without You bothering me if you bothering me now it gets it over with for a little p**** boy Tommy f so he looks around and says it's so it won't be aggravated later and then he says I get to die and stuff it's not entirely true he goes uh oh. And you kind of runs the tunnels cuz nobody wants to stay down there so he looks up and he says this is what it is and that's how I tell people who said go go ahead and do it in Jesus Christ how annoying does it get what do you think it is you're happy horseshit nothing else is happening and you know about the ships leave me alone I don't need you right there and he gets mad but he's trying to figure out why it's like if you're there then people don't go in the tunnels and stop him so he gets up out of his chair and says I'm f****** up as usual and people get mad they say no you're doing the job and then they say well we went to the tunnels and then I'll send you to get mad that's what it is it's stupid s*** and people keep calling them dumb and you can't figure it out so we're off to another movie the one that's going to happen tonight part of this happens today and into tonight but really the second one begins and some of it here a little bit here. They mimic it. And really we're laughing at you cuz you can't figure out your job supposedly know it inside and out and so like simple s*** for our son and you're like way off out of nowhere thinking all sorts of weird stuff

Thor Freya

It helps me that's why it's hilarious and it helps me that's why it is funny you're useless the people down here are useless Max useless we have to be here to stop the retard from grabbing us friend here my husband that is that's why it's funny yeah you're in the way you would like grabbing him and harassing him just come up and knock you out and grab anything movies

Hera Zues

Olympus

[holland-westbrook]

EXHIBIT A

Conversation between Amalthea Myron (deceased) and Holland Westbrook

MS. MYRON: Holland, you are a fucking killer. Maybe you haven’t  struck Francis yourself, but you did much, much worse to him. And I didn’t have a choice, because you’re clearly insane and you almost killed me too, right now. Wren didn’t mean to! Wren was defending your girlfriend! But you coldbloodedly burned him, and I’ll never forget that smell or how fucking remorseless and crazy you are.

EXHIBIT B

Conversation between Holland Westbrook, Aspen Sawyer (deceased), and Wren Challis (deceased)

MS. WESTBROOK: She told the cameras everything. About what we did to Francis. About how you killed him, Wren, how we all helped hide the fucking body. She said it in front of everyone, and now everyone knows.

EXHIBIT C

Conversation between Amalthea Myron (deceased) and Nico Wylin (deceased)

MS. MYRON: Don’t kill me! She [Ms. Westbrook] is lying, she has been lying all along! She is a murderer. Trust me. I know you have no reason— You have to trust me! I’ve seen her cut off a whole human being – about your size actually. I’ve seen her throw his flesh and bones into acid without flinching. I’ve seen her kill and maim the corpse, and not feel anything. She’s ruthless and crazy, and whatever she told you, she will end up killing you too. No remorse. I swear! I’m not here to bother you. I am unarmed and weak.

MR. WYLIN: What’s happening? Are you being chased? Who are you talking about?

MS. MYRON: I don’t want to say something you could kill me for, but you should stay away from Holland. She is dangerous. She had killed somebody – we all… I didn’t, but we all were there. Wren and Holland killed a man from the Capitol, and Aspen and I had to help them cover it up. Holland chopped him into pieces. She didn’t even flinch.

MR. WYLIN: She’s trying to kill you? I— Tell me what happened. Tell me why.

Written testimony prepared by Lisa Featherpond, Avox to Mr. Lightbelle for 20 years

Q: You work as a Peacekeeper at the Tribute Tower, correct?

A: That’s correct.

Q: And you were there on the morning of the launch of the Arena.

A: Yes.

Q: Can you tell me what you saw just before dawn, and where you were?

A: Yeah I was guarding the doors. The doors on the side, you know, away from the new Gamemaker tower. It’s a boring job. I sit on this little stool and usually I have a book with me. I was reading that evening thinking nothing would really happen, when I got this weird feeling. I felt like maybe there was somethin’ down the hall. So I get up and I go over there, I got my flashlight and everything. There’s nothing there. But when I’m maybe ten or twenty feet away from the door, I hear this click. You know the click of the door opening. And I turn around real fast, and turn the flashlight and everything, and this figure comes through the hall, quick as anything. I can’t see her. Or them. And I run to follow, but you know, when I get out into the next hallway, there’s nobody there. There’s a bunch of doors and stairs there, you know if you’ve been there, so I try a few of ‘em but I guess I just chose the wrong one. But the thing is when I go back to the door, the one to the outside, I see a little bit of blood on the handle.

Q: And you suspect that this was one of the tributes coming through the door?

A: Yeah I bet anything it was that Holland.

DEFENDANT: Objection! Speculation.

JUDGE: Objection sustained.

Q: Can you tell me about the morning of the 23rd?

A: 23rd?

Q: The 23rd of July. The launch of the Games.

A: Right, yeah. So basically I’m out there doing my usual rounds. I got the truck, the guys with me. It’s a busy morning on the launch, there’s always a lot to clean up in the streets. So we got the street cleaner coming through and then my truck.

Q: And your truck is…

A: Garbage truck.

Q: Continue.

A: So we’re doing the usual. Emptying the big dumpsters out in the mansion district in the east. It’s a big day like I said but everyone wants to get it done to watch the launch later. So like I said we’re kinda rushing it. One of the dumpsters doesn’t get quite grabbed onto right, by the arms of the truck, you know? So it dumps the stuff, but not all the way into the truck. Some bags fall into the street. So then it’s my job to go get ‘em and throw ‘em in the back of the truck. I do that, but then I notice one of the bags is leaking. It’s leaking red. It’s blood. So I open it up.

Q: And what was in the bag?

A: It was a head, sir.

Q: Whose head?

A: Francis Lightbelle’s head, sir.

Q: Can you tell us who you are and what you do?

A: I’m a detective with the eastern Peacekeeping precinct of the Capitol. I specialize in murder cases.

Q: Tell us about the scene on the morning of the 23rd at Mr. Lightbelle’s house.

A: Well, it was a pretty shabby job those girls did.

DEFENDANT: Objection. Speculation.

JUDGE: Sustained.

A: Fine, it was a shabby job someone did.

Q: And why do you say that?

A: Because they did clean up the blood, most of it. But not all of it. There were traces of it all over the place. They didn’t put back the saw that she — that they used to cut up the body, or they didn’t put it back in the right place. And there was DNA all over that, and the room, and the limo.

Q: And that DNA was—

A: It was Westbrook, Myron, Sawyer, and Challis.

Q: And the saw?

A: That was all Westbrook. Thing was lit up all over with her fingerprints.

Q: But the cause of death was?

A: Cause of death was blunt force trauma. Wasn’t the saw that killed him. It was the saw that cut him up into pieces.

Q: And the murder weapon?

A: Had to be the statue. Little flecks of blood on that too, and it matched the injuries. Challis’s DNA, mostly, on that thing, which lines up with what the girls said, you know, in the Arena.

[crepuscularghost]

meh pointless rambling / venting

can we PLEASE skip summer this year I *really* don't want to experience smoke and fires and 105-115 degree heat again. i have lived around this weather for the last 14 years. im so over it. i just want out. california is literally sucking us dry and making it impossible to save more than $10 a month. im really worried that we'll be stuck in sacramento as it gets more expensive here and as our rent gradually increases by $100 a month. i wish i could be sane enough to hold down a job and not lose my shit so we could actually save up to move to the pnw. i need to start looking into disability asap but I'm honestly afraid they won't approve me b/c I don't have enough "proof" as they denied my mum when she was very clearly unable to work and she was fighting to get on disability for 4 years before she died. like i really don't have faith in anything lately. and im just losing more and more money by not being able to work or draw. so disability is literally my only option rn. i just don't even know where to start, the whole process is incredibly intimidating without any assistance or anybody to talk to about it. I've tried applying at the grocery store across the street, and to a few other places down the road, but to no avail. the one job I actually thought I *could* manage, at an art store, never called me back after applying 3 times in the span of 8 months. (they keep telling me to keep applying so I do but it feels rather pointless if I don't even get an email back saying they don't want me lol) - not that i feel i could really be stable enough to hold it down for more than a few months. the entire time i was at PFX i was facing depersonalization and disassociating even while on antipsychotics and would face random bouts of suicidal ideation. I only worked there for a month. i really don't know what to do. the one thing I used to rely on, drawing, to help me get by some months and save up for things I needed or moving-funds, I can't even do that anymore. I *loathe* drawing lately. it just breaks my heart and I go insane forcing myself to do something that literally hurts. i don't know what's wrong with me. why is the artist part of my brain so broken. people keep calling it burn out, but i don't know. i don't think it's just that. im really afraid that im no longer an artist anymore and that's a huge part of my identity and it's fucking with my perception of self. i feel like nobody. i am nothing. im just a whacked out furry art has-been. some people are just saying "just go crazy! just open the canvas and don't think about it!" but you see, i can't even *do* that. i make a line, im angry, im frustrated, i want to turn my computer off and never look at it again. i think to myself "why try, it'll be shit" every single time. the mental process of just doing Art for Art's sake and now Everything Has to be Aesthetic or else it won't get viewed literally broke me b/c social media has taught us that our art is literally worthless if nobody comments or retweets/blogs it. it has created this toxic mental think that you are also worthless as an artist if you can't get anybody to like your personal pieces. that sex sells and you have to sell your soul to it in order to get any level of attention online or irl. that, or you must find your special *niche* and stick to that only so you can find your underground fans.

i miss doing art for myself. purely, just for me. for me to vent, for me to escape, for me to explore. doing commissions was a mistake. having twitter was a mistake. i hate the current art world, so so much.

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.