#she probably doesnt believe me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

51ft · 7 months

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i keep thinking about the one line dark justiciar shadowheart says when shar returns all her memories right before she kills her parents

and u can be like, do what u think is right!! (even though u probably picked all the worst options for the nightsong to die)

and she

she acknowledges and is aware of how messed up her whole situation is but shes in too deep to stop!!!!!

and im

ooOOOUUUUGGGHHHHH

#bg3 spoilers #THE SELF LOATHING!!!!!!!#anyways then she loses all her memories again and has a grand evil shar time #but i like to imagine that deep sense of unease whenever she even thinks too hard about those huge gaps in her memories #which ofc dark shart will cope with by simply not thinking about it and following her faith #BUT BUT BUT shes still the same person with the very charitable reading of shar's doctrine #so naturally those deep seated misgivings will never go away #probably #my brainworms wont free me #im also just thinking how cool it wouldve been to have gotten this scene with a genuininely good character #but its most likely u get it on the murderhobo runs..#can i just say if i were shadowheart it doesnt even make any sense not to stab the aasimar #like shes just goading her and shittalking her the whole time??#AT LEAST TELL HER ABOUT HER PARENTS FIRST??#also that scene is the only time she will actually acknowledge herself as jenevelle to her parents...#when she screams shes not jenevelle its not bc she believes it but more like she wants it to be true #mmm the angst...

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theposhperyton · 3 days

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All evidence suggests yes

#starting a new power scaling system for the warlords of the sea but im rating them based on whether i think theyre an ally or homophobic #kuma is an ally because photos dont lie and hes clearly wearing an ally pin #also you cant spend that much time around somebody with the title “Queen of the Queers” and somehow be homophobic afterwards #unless youre sanji but hes still on his internalized homophobia growth arc. i believe in you buddy you can beat this #crocodile is trans and baroque works is the alphabet mafia in a literal form #with that said. he has the energy of “im not homophobic yall are just annoying”#doffy has the energy of a homophobic homosexual #like hed kiss a guy and then call him a f*g and throw him out a nearby window #jimbei joins the strawhats so ofc HES an ally #blackbeard sucks but i dont think hes homophobic #hes one of those people you meet and theyre just the worst all around and youre like “man this guy has gotta be homophobic”#somebody mentions their partner and you go “oh boy here it is” but he just has no reaction whatsoever #hes such a problem but at least hes not homophobic on top of everything else #Gecko Moria is such a virgin that i dont think he knows being gay exists any more than he knows being straight does #Typa MFer who thinks “sex” is just a synonym for gender #also hed see your top scars and get excited because he thinks youre a zombie #gecko moria probably thinks LGBT is an acronym for some branch of the navy that he doesnt know (or care) about #Because Boa lives on Sapphic island i would jump the gun and immediately say she's an ally but i feel that its more complicated than that #not unlike moria. she also doesnt actually have a real strong grasp on being straight vs being queer #but thats just because shes used to everybody being whipped for her equally #somebody tries to explain it to her and shes just like “??? but theyre all obsessed with me?”#if she ever encounters a gay man it will be a reality shifting event for her #id say itd be the same if she met a sex/romance indifferent aroace but like #monkey d luffy #its already happened #mihawk is probably both an ally and queer himself but he just minds his own business so much that we may never know #one piece #seven warlords #warlords of the sea #bartholomew kuma

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lecliss · 27 days

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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

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mxdotpng · 11 months

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i genuinely dont know how tales of the abyss did what it did because ive never had a game hurt me so much with like sixteen separate character relationships. all at once.

#.text #tales of the abyss #besides the fact ive (obviously) been thinking abt jade and luke #ive also been thinking about tear and asch. and how im disappointed they only speak like once to each other #because they. are like. so insanely similar it is. surprising to me they dont meet.#but tear in general is so underused. like.#tear. she doesnt want to kill her brother but she must. he is everything to her. but she knows her duty.#she is calm and collected on the outside even as she breaks on the inside. she is a soldier. she doesnt let her emotions #dictate her actions or her words. and she is kind.#and then. like. asch. he wants to kill his replica but he knows that he cant. his emotions get the better of him to the point that #he disregards everything about luke and paints him as the enemy. for as responsible and mature he is all of that #disappears the second luke is involved-- because his emotions control him. he wants to be kind but i dont think he knows how anymore.#i dont think they would get along but there would be an understanding between them.#with tear. understanding means kindness. if she sees herself in others or understands them completely. she becomes. so kind.#its almost shocking to see that side of her one moment and the stone cold soldier the next.#its a matter of what she allows herself to be #but i think with asch she'd become the opposite. because she sees too much of herself in him - unlike luke it is not #the good things. nor is it the things they could bond about. it is the fact that asch wants to kill the only person in the world #who is not responsible for what happened to them. and probably the only person in the world who could truly understand asch.#like i know tear says she believes some things must be done. including killing family. but i dont think she truly. truly believes that.#she is in anguish over having to kill her brother. so i think her seeing asch completely disregard and even attack luke at times #when it ISNT necessary. like it is with van. she would not be kind to him.#which is like. asch is really only Neutral at times - even with luke he sometimes cant keep telling himself everything is lukes fault.#besides being defensive. i think thats really the only thing he could be around that type of tear.#like a. 'you dont know anything.' type of deal. a quiet anger. not the loud stuff he shoves at luke or van #they are fascinating to me.#how would they act in my twinswap au.................#i wonder...

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dishsaop · 24 days

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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic #im just like. tired of gnawing #and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get #content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky #young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me #im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances #m text #i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story #not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a #lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out #bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples #and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified #(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here #(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein #out as lesbian #like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has #to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just #and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so #yknow. personal viewer bias here #but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian #and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out #but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes #I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'

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starbiology · 11 days

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what about if in the plot the other villains are being pushed to their limits/controlled by the void/drakara whoever it is and the good guys need to stop it by helping the old school villains

#me a villain lover: what if the bad guys needed to be helped instead hm what if you dont kill them #what if the overarching villain is stuck in this time of making them these faceless sort of things of destruction #rather than people who were hurt by something and driven to cruelty (kass)#also im thinking about tdf's ring and her creating more and more wraiths until it nearly completely kills her until theyre able to break it #and then helpp herrr. shes baby girl and doesnt want to die (just wants to control things and it pushed her believing someone #who said they could give her that power)#but really they were just going to let her die to create a wraith army #or kass who wants his revenge and falls into the pattern again like when he was controlled by The Three and has to give up his revenge #except skarl still needs to pay for what he did in some way #Vira could be one of the ones that realizes what Drakara (or that yurble with the balloon) is doing and tries to stop her #because she had been tricked by that faerie (probably drakara?)#neopets posting

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 5 months

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why does writing doctor who fanfic always ends me up googling british railways

#always is an exaggeration #but it's weird that it happened twice #and like i have to get so indepth every time why #i mean i dont Need to #but it feels important #me 14 in one hand yaz in the other in...........wait where is the support group #i kinda assumed london since most companions seem to live around there but that kinda sucks for our sheffield-liverpool team doesnt it fhkg #this is the reason yaz gives for never coming #not even unreasonable #maybe they move around #they probably move around #also everyone: we can just use facetime! yaz: i cant read suddenly i dont know #anyway me with 14 in one hand yaz in another sneaking out of support group like how do i get these two to the doctors house now #okay they GOT here. and im assuming yaz doesnt have a car but does the doctor #probably right?#yaz watching 14 drive: this is just wrong. who are you. alien impostor. i dont know you #14: i can drive! ive had cars!#yaz: dont believe it. never told me #shes so mad its really fun to write #as gracious as she is when she wants to be. when she DOESNT want to be. she uses all those same things she was gracious about earlier #and shes like AMMUNITION #i love her

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nonbinaryaubrey · 1 year

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this is one of the most important maris out tjere btw .

#I THINK ABOUT THIS ONE A LOT.... i wish we couldve gotten to see more mari and kel interactions.. THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME...#they were probably both so sillies #ive seen a few ppl acting like kel wasnt as close to her which is so... augh. SHE WAS HIS FRIEND TOO !! SHE MEANT SO MUCH TO EVERYONE AND-#THAT INCLUDES KEL TOO. AUUGGHHHRRRR #of course the game . doesnt help with this. since i believe u rlly dont get to see them have.. that many interactions together :((#aubrey.txt

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networkunsupported · 10 months

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you get 1 (one) artfight repost from me lads

partially because compressing this down into all the animation software nerfed the quality but also because it gives me another chance to go rahh look at @elizabelle881 s ocs they're the coolest fuckin guys ever and i love them so much!!!!

#SORRY SORRY SORRY SHES SIMPLY SO DEAR TO ME #you would not believe the wing turotials i looked up for this gal oml. doesnt show but #thats DEDICATION that is #anyway this fine ladys called nebula and i love her already!!!#love me some glow effects #as you can probably tell #why has she got a halo?? im honestly not sure #dramatic effect? perhaps?#tobyart

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bonesrbleaching · 22 days

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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia #tw transphobes

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hussyknee · 4 months

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Idk if I can continue posting about Gaza. Woke up from a horrible horrible nightmare about it, started scrolling my phone to distract myself, saw a post about it, had an anxiety attack. Maybe because the nightmare was too fresh or my brain is feeling raw in general.

Otoh keeping away from the news is making my scrupulosity OCD go hog wild. Leading to me obsessing about what might be happening. I don't know why my brain keeps doing this, it's not like a rando with no disposable income in a third world hellhole can do fuck all to help them. What are they supposed to do with my mental health crisis? Eat it?

Doesn't help that I'm wondering whether hyperfixating on Gaza is my brain's way of reminding me that there's worse places I could be trapped in than in this fucking house with the deranged woman that gave birth to me. Although tbh it feels like a toss-up on the worse days.

#how am i supposed to recover from anything living with this horrible witch #sometimes i wonder whether it would have been better if Mum was the one who died and my Dad that survived her #and my brain immediately shut down bc holy hell he would have been worse #how can you be so glad that a person is dead while missing them so much #it's been almost ten years and I still can't believe he's gone sometimes #at least i loved him enough to miss him. i honestly wonder whether i'd even be vaguely sad occasionally when my Mum finally kicks it #although with our luck she probably wont any time soon #God doesn't want her and Satan doesnt want the competition probably #tw: gaza genocide #in which i make it all about me #tw: parental death #tw: parental abuse #personal #life update #knee of huss

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sp3llboundgirl · 1 year

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I wish my psychiatrist was more interested in actually listening to me than trying to prove that she's right about everything 🙃

#she uses up all of our appointment time telling me stuff i already know #or just ignoring me and pretending that im dumb and self diagnosing with every single mental illness which im not even close to doing #people like her motivate me so much to work in the mental health field #i finally convinced her that i have ptsd but of course she had to say that not everyone who would be in my situation would develop ptsd #and i probably did because im an exessively anxious person #and she doesnt believe im autistic because according to her autistic people are emotionally disconnected and only ever think with logic #and she doesnt see that in me #she told me that im not full on autistic but neurodivergent because i have autistic traits but not enough #she asked me if i wanted her to write down the word neurodivergent for me to look it up later #and i was like its okay i already know that word..#then at some point she was like “youre not schizophrenic” and i said no and she said “youre not bipolar” and i said no #and then she said “you have anxiety problems” and i said yes #but i said no shit sherlock in my head lmao #i never said i thought i was schizophrenic or bipolar so idk why she was telling me this in the hopes of offending me #oh and she says i used to have a problem with cutting myself only because of teenage hormones so thats wonderful

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arolesbianism · 5 months

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I was abt to be like hey guys here's the clangen sprites for the main characters of spiraling upwards ^-^ but luckily I caught myself before I accidentally dropped some Massive spoilers by doing so lol. Anyways take Whimsygoose, Pumpkin, and Daisystar instead because they're so cutsies <3

#rat rambles #spiraling upwards #warriors posting #idc if pumpkin has nothing going on except having a wife I Will make her relevant to the plot somehow mark my word #ok ok tbf whimsygoose and pumpkin will likely have similar levels of relevance since theyre both murtlepaw's clanmates #and both get a lil boost since I like them lol #well whimsygoose is the deputy's mate so it's not like he has no reason to come up #daisystar is very much relevant tho even if his screentime is probably going to be a lil limited #mostly because of ~plot reasons~#aka he gets real fucking paranoid over the course of the plot #oh also fun fact whimsygoose is deaf! guy who's always been loud looses ability to tell hes loud thousands found dead #and pumpkin is a lesbian and also my best friend and thats all that truly matters <3 #oh unrelated but one of whimsygoose and thistlepeaks's kids ended up named fireice so thats fun #he is another guy who doesnt matter to the plot but I like him anyways he's silly #oh also daisystar is also gay he has a husband 👍#alas not all of the leaders are gay firestar (previously firenip) is alas probably straight #I wanna believe she could be bi or pan but thatd just make me feel more bad for blazebelly girlie was so in love with her #conestar is a lesbian tho and honeystar is. a weird one.#like she technically has a mate kind of but its more of a. coping mechanism for them both than anything?#long story short the clans first medic died a couple moons ago and his medic husband silentfleck and honeystar took it poorly #he was both of their closest friend and neither knew what to do with themselves afterwards #their current relationship is a mix of a rebound and a qpr sort of #theyre depression buddies who constantly worry eachother but know that if they vocalized this the other would mention their worries #andneither of them want to be confronted with their downward spiral directly so they just normalize it for themselves and eachother instead #so this is my long way of saying I have no idea what honeystar's sexuality is Ive thought abt it and I don't know what I wanna do with that #like Im leaning towards aro cause of my aro bias but I almost kinda wanna make her demiro or even pan #it doesn't rly matter to the main story tho so I've been not thinking abt it too hard for now #oh also speaking of aro characters I should mention murtlepaw's name is mispelled on purpose #as a kit murtle met a cat with a nickname and was like I want one of those and then made one up #so they just took turtle and replaced the t to combine it and their deadname

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dent-de-leon · 7 months

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wAIT just thinking about what Tal said...I really hope that doesn't imply that Lestera might have poisoned herself--

#IT PROBABLY DOESNT AND IM TAKING IT TOO LITERALLY BUT #i dont know i always thought her death was a bit...? strange...? theres no warning signs #i honestly believe theres every chance kylre mightve been feeding on her #and the way molly just goes 'oh no--' when they find out what hes been doing just. makes me think #i wonder if it was possible that we would have had a reveal like that if molly tried to confront kylre--or hell gUSTAV--about it--#but then again there is something about her death panel that strikes me as...odd timing #the fact that molly was out when it happened #that hed gone to get her favorite drinks and food--possibly at her request?--and then lestera was already gone when he came back--#i dont know it felt like they were supposed to meet up and maybe. she intended for molly to be out when she passed #and i hope thats not the case because. it would just be so sad and hurt him even more #this is just personal rambling but #the molly comic makes my heart heart ;;#tw suicide #please let me know if theres any other warning i should tag just in case

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rohirric-hunter · 1 year

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I finally managed to finish Doom of Caras Gelebren and it was very good, but I'm laughing because you can pick out the exact moment where Amarthiel was consigned to long-distance soap opera duty for life. Like, this was probably her first assignment as a champion of Sauron and she got her ass handed to her on a plate. No wonder he gave her partner assignments in a Very Far Away Location from about TA 1300 through present day. Every weird, sort of inexplicable behavior from her can now easily be explained by the fact that two minutes into serving Sauron she told him she could beat Celebrimbor in a fight and promptly got knocked on her ass in ten seconds flat and she's still trying to get him to take her seriously again.

#lotro #'what did amarthiel want with amdir?' yeah i figured it out #shes trying to prove she can make wraiths and stuff really shes good at this kind of thing look hes fully a wraith now #come on i did good right? thats how you do it right? i made a wraith just like the witch king. mordiriths never made a wraith.#at least not an interesting one. mordirith couldnt do this come on get me out of this bum fuck angmar assignment #what do you mean some rando and a couple of rangers took out my wraith about ten seconds after we finally got him properly under control #in all seriousness it was a good skirm no notes its just #once again for newer players i think this is going to kind of mess up the reveal of who amarthiel is later #it doesnt have her actual name in it but its clear that celebrimbor knew her and i think it hints at the fact that she used to live there #which are like. the interesting points of who she is #again not currently a concern because i highly doubt any new players are going to be doing this skirm #probably it will be a very long time before anyone who hasnt at least finished volume 1 will have this expansion #so i guess as long as the skirm is bundled with the expansion #which i believe it is #but its something theyll have to do something about when it turns into one of those things they bundle for free in november in a few years

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