#she took a test that said negative got in the shower and when she got out the test said positive

[pensat-i-fet]

Making memories together (Leon Goretzka x Reader)

**Got this little request and took it as an opportunity to test writing about topics I’m not neccessarily as comfortable with. I hope you enjoy the result. I think it’s pretty cute 🥰**

Word count: 1052

Masterlist

Wattpad

“Is she sleeping?”, Leon nodded when he got inside the room but you couldn’t help but notice he seemed worried. “You ok?”

“Not really”, he said, sitting down next to you. “I found out today that our match has been moved to another day”.

“Why is that an issue?”

“It’s now on Sunday”.

You frowned wondering why that was an issue until you realised what Leon meant. Sunday was your little baby’s first birthday.

“Honey, it’s okay. We can move the party to another day”.

“But her birthday is on Sunday, not another day”.

“Yes, and she’s also turning one. That party is for us and our friends, not so much for her. She’ll be sleeping most of the time and won’t remember it”.

You tried to laugh and joke about it but weren’t getting the reaction you hoped from your partner.

A little cry saved you from dealing with this for now since it was now your turn to go see what happened to little Sophia.

When you got to her room, she was still sleeping. Probably just had a dream that made her cry for a couple of seconds. Looking at her, you couldn’t believe she would be turning one in just a couple of days. It seemed like it was only yesterday when you were coming back home from the hospital with her in your arms, looking so small and fragile.

Kissing her head softly enough so as to not disturb her, you went back to your room and found Leon staring at the ceiling.

“Hey, stop feeling guilty, ok?”

“How? I’m always missing big moments because of my job. It’s really annoying”.

You put your head on his chest, cuddling to his side to give him some comfort. “That happens to a lot of people. But your job just makes that a bit worse. It also means your daughter will have everything she could ever ask for so you know, there are positives and negatives”.

“I just don’t want her to grow up feeling like I’m never there for her. Money can’t buy those special memories for her”.

“She won’t. We’ll do everything possible so she doesn’t, ok?”

He nodded, still not looking so sure. And you were now thinking about how you could show him you meant your words.

                                            **

“Come in, they should be home already”, you told your mum, who was going to stay with you on Saturday night to get everything ready for Sophia’s birthday. “Where are my favourite people?”

“Living room!”

When you got there, you found Leon on the floor with Sophia crawling around him and hitting him with a toy.

“Having a good time?”, you laughed.

“The best”.

You sat down next to them, trying to kiss your little daughter but she was too busy crawling. So you kissed her father instead.

“I have to leave in half an hour”.

“We’ll Facetime you tomorrow after the match, ok? So you can wish Soph a happy birthday at the time she was born. You’d be done playing then”.

“I’ll be waiting for the call”.

Before leaving, Leon showered you and little Sophia with kisses. And you couldn’t help but smile knowingly. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

                                       **

When you woke up on Sunday, you ran to see your baby and sang happy birthday to her. It really was silly to make such a fuzz…she just wanted to eat. But you still gave her a new toy, not being able to wait for the party to give her some of the gifts.

“Go get ready, honey. I’ll get her dressed”, told you your mum.

“You sure?”

“Yes, that way we can leave as soon as possible. Go now. I have this under control”.

A quick shower later, you put on your Bayern shirt and got all the baby stuff you could need, and then some, before heading to where your mum was taking photos of her granddaughter.

“You two done taking selfies?”

“Yes”, she laughed, “let’s go surprise your daddy, Sophia”.

The match was going to start at 5 pm, which meant it would be definitely finished by 8 pm, the time when Sophia was born one year ago. You always joked saying she had waited until that time because that was her dad’s number. It really felt like a very special coincidence.

“He’s really trying to get that goal, huh?”

You laughed at your mum’s comment because she was so right. Leon was desperate to score so he could dedicate it to his daughter. And that melted your heart. So when he finally scored, you screamed so loud that a lot of people around you turned to look at you.

Leon ran to the camera to do a little celebration for Sophia, not knowing his daughter was closer to him than he expected.

When the match ended, your mum, Sophia and you made your way to the dressing room area. The team knew about you being there so you didn’t need to worry about how to get there.

After the interviews and the shower, Leon was sitting down with his phone in his hand, waiting for you to call him.

“Bro, go outside for a second”, said one of his teammates.

“I can’t, I’m waiting to Facetime with my daughter”.

“I know, just go outside. Trust me”.

He got up and left the dressing room, curious but also worried he’d miss the call somehow. But when he was outside, he realised he didn’t need to worry about his phone anymore.

“What are you doing here?”

“Sophia didn’t want to miss seeing her daddy score on her birthday”.

Leon finally remembered how to walk and moved towards you, giving you a quick kiss and taking Sophia in his arms. He always felt so much pride and love seeing her wear her little Bayern kit with “Papa” on the back.

“Happy birthday, my love. I’m so happy I can be with you today”.

“And at the right time”, you said to him, showing him your phone. It was 8 pm.

“Thank you for making this possible. It means the world to me”.

“I know”, you said, putting your arms around his waist. “You might miss some moments of Sophia’s life and I’ll miss others. But we’ll make enough memories together for her. Don’t worry about that”.

[elysia-nsimp]

Yknow being a disabled person that doesn’t look disabled is. weird. I didn’t even know I was disabled until a little less than a year ago, and knowing this information has changed me. I realized I was putting SOOO much strain on myself for absolutely no reason and i finally had an explanation as to why I couldn’t function like everyone else

People always thought it was weird that I couldn’t shower, couldn’t take care of my hair (despite it being very long and me refusing to cut it), couldnt stand for long periods of time without complaining… not to mention the autism, causing me to have meltdown when it was lightly sprinkling outside and stuff. I just felt… different /neg

THEN I found out I was DISABLED and suddenly things just clicked. I can’t stand because my joints don’t work properly and I can’t stand up without feeling dizzy because I have POTS. I can’t shower both because of the distain for water AND because I CANT STAND for long periods of time! I finally had answers and… no one believed me.

“Oh but you don’t look disabled” SHut up SHUT. up. Disability doesn’t have a “look.” Anyone can be disabled, you can’t sniff that shit out by appearance alone. Hell, even the first doctor I went to was like “nooo you can’t have POTS it’s just anemia” and my parents were like “the DOCTOR said this so you have to believe that,” despite me KNOWING it wasn’t right. I got angry and took it into my own hands, did my own tests, following what the doctor said the test criteria for POTS was, then showed my main doctor what I found. She was like “…Yeah the first doctor didn’t know what she was talking about, that’s definitely POTS.” and gave me some tips on how to make it less of an issue. (Haha I was right and you were wroooong Doctor)

Anyway point is. Believe disabled people. Even if they don’t look disabled. Even if some of the things the disability causes are kinda gross and make you maybe think they’re just lazy. Lazy is a CONCEPT that doesn’t exist. There’s always something else at play—depression, disability, autism, lack of motivation, some necessary components is missing for them to do the thing… literally even if they just don’t WANNA, there’s a reason for that. Lazy is a stupid concept and should be not used against disabled and mentally ill people.

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Sick Day (Xavier x Fem!reader)

Summary: you become sick after falling into the lake during the poe cup. Your boyfriend takes care of you.

Warnings: sickness, throwing up, swearing

That poe cup. That god damn poe cup. You hated that you got roped into that fucking competition to begin with. It didn't help that your canoe sank and you were ice cold by the time the competition was over. Xavier noticed you shivering on the docks, grabbing his dry jacket from his back and wrapping it around you.

"It's so fucking cold" you whined. He chuckled, kissing your forehead. "Your facepaint is wearing off by the way." You said, helping him with his smudged eye paint. He rolled his eyes and you sneezed. He frowned. "You're not getting sick are you?" He asked. "I'm sure I'm just cold- ACHOO!" You sneezed out.

Just cold. Right. "Just cold" turned into the flu. Xavier didn't realize you were sick until you weren't by his side in Thornhill's class. "Has anyone seen Miss Y/n?" She asked. "She's sick with the flu." Odelia, your roommate answered. "Oh! Oh no, I hope she feels better." Thornhill said. She noticed the look on Xavier's face. "...Mister Thorpe, if you'd like to check on her-" that was all he needed to hear, him leaving almost immediately.

He gathered things from the pantry. Saltines, chicken noodle soup, sprite... things that would make you feel comfortable. He knocked on your door and he heard a congested "I promise I'm fine Miss Weems" before the door opened. You blinked. "Xay?" You asked. He held up the bowl of soup and you opened the door for him to come in. He sat down his things, you sitting on your bed as Xavier pulled your desk chair to your bedside. "Why didn't you tell me you were getting sick?" He asked. "Dunno... I honestly thought it was allergies. They usually flare up around this time." You admitted. He put his hand to your forehead. "You're hot." He noticed. "No you are." You joked. He rolled his eyes. "Lay down baby. Get some rest." He said. "I've been sleeping all day.. I'm not really tired." You admitted.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. "Anything I've eaten won't stay down." You sighed, flopping onto the bed. He nudged the sprite he got for you on your nightstand. You took it. "You shouldn't be here. You'll get sick." You said. "Someone's got to take care of you." He said. You sighed. "You took a covid test?" He asked. "Weems made me take three." You said. "Negative?" "Yep." You said. "Well that's good at least. I remember when I got it last year I fucking hated it. Couldn't taste anything for a while." He said. You opened your mouth to speak but halted, grabbing your trashcan and throwing up instead.

Xavier picked up your wrist, pulling a hair tie from it and pulled back your hair as you lingered over the garbage can. "I hate my life at this moment." You whined. "It'll be okay..." he soothed. "I feel like shit." "I know baby." "And the worst part? I need a shower. I don't want to walk." You whined. "Well, I can't exactly help you there. But if we get you a mask I'm sure Odette would help." He said. "Or ask me." Yoko said, standing in the doorway.

You looked over. "Hi Yoko." You greeted. "You need help?" She asked. "Please." You nodded. "I got her. Try to clean up her... nest... she's made." Yoko said, helping you up.

Xavier cleaned up, throwing away tissues and empty nyquil packets. He even went as far as to change your sheets, ensuring you'd be comfortable. Yoko brought you back, you walking back in a hoodie of Xavier's. You laid down, sighing. "I'm missing so much school work right now." You said. "Worry about that later... right now you should hydrate." He said, pulling out a water bottle. "Thanks Xay." You said. "You're welcome sweetheart" he said, getting up. "Don't go." You said. He turned. "I don't want to be alone..." you admitted. He sat back down. "I'm not going anywhere. Not when you need me." He said, holding your hand. You smiled slightly at him before coughing.

As the day carried on, he ended up laying next to you, watching movies on his laptop while you tried to recover. Day after day, he was there taking care of you. You were surprised he didn't get sick but he would sit by your bedside drawing while you slept. He'd bring you food, he'd help you walk if you needed to...

You were reading in bed, him drawing next to you. "Hey, Xavier?" You asked. Your use of his full name got his attention, him looking up. "Yes Y/n?" He asked, letting you know you had his full attention. "I love you. You know that right?" You asked. It was the first either of you had said that out loud. Through text? Yeah. Out loud was another story.

He smiled, kissing your knuckles. "I love you too Y/n."

[imstillhere-butallislost]

Hi! At the time of writing I got out of surgery 6 hours ago at grs Montreal. Double incision with nipple grafts. Here is my big post detailing eeeeverything about my actual surgery experience and the day leading up to it.

First of all, I just want to say for everyone considering grs Montreal that the clinic no longer does drainless top surgery. I was told in my consultation that they ONLY do drains now because they don't want to take any chances with healing.

It's worth stating that my support person was with me the whole time really, just not when I was dressing or when I was taken from the recovery room to actually go get surgery. You will not be alone!

I had to fly in to Montreal for surgery, and will be flying back home on Sunday.

It was pretty nerve wracking trying to set up and understand everything through email because I was in a different province, but it all worked out. The clinic payed for all of the car rides, and my province reimburses the plane tickets and covers the hotel stay. The clinic also covers 50 dollars of Uber eats credits per day.

The night before I had to take a shower and use hair removal cream and antibacterial soap. Let me tell u that Hair removal cream was ROUGH. It didn't take everything off and it also have me a lot of irritation under my arms. But I got it done and got a drive to the clinic the next morning after I showered again.

At the clinic, you are immediately given paperwork. You do this, and then you wait. I waited maybe about 2 hours or so before being called and told it's time for me to go out of the waiting room. I met with a nurse, went over more paperwork and had some vitals taken, then she took me to get dressed in a hospital gown and take a pregnancy test.

This starts a long hour and a half being unable to produce any liquid to be able to take a pregnancy test. I couldn't do it, so I just got to go upstairs for surgery with another person. It was pretty strange to have people all around you switching from French to English to speak to different people. I got out in a big room with room for maybe 6 beds, for people waiting to go in to surgery and people recovering from surgery. The other patient I came up with had a little stuffed octopus, was pretty cool. Once again I was asked to take the pregnancy test, but I wasn't allowed to drink since midnight the previous night so I just couldn't. They could NOT do the surgery without a pregnancy test due to anesthesia. I had to be hooked up to an IV before surgery in order to get fluid in me so I could take the test, but it was done and it was negative (yay!).

After the test, I was immediately taken away from the recovery room and moved into a very very small room directly outside the surgery room. This is where I had the surgery guidelines done on my chest immediately. Everything happened very quickly after the pregnancy test,because they had been waiting on me to be able to do it. The drawing of the guidelines was a little strange for me bc the surgeon (Dr laungani) had to remove most of my robe, but it was all fine.

I was taken into the surgery room and told to get up on the table, they had me lay down like I was Jesus on the cross, and then the mask was going over my face and the anesthesiologist told me to think happy thoughts and then I was out. No counting or anything, I was just out.

And then I woke up in a different room, vision blurry because i had anesthesia and also didn't have my glasses. I was asked how I was feeling and well, I was feeling completely fine. Maybe a little slight pain but nothing major. I remember thinking for a slight second that o was dreaming, but then I remembered everything that had happened earlier in my the day.

From that point I stayed awake the entire time and was wheeled to the recovery room. In the recovery room they knew again asked how I was and did vitals, and I said my pain was about a three out of 10 and was given Tylenol. All of the nurses were extremely nice, one apologized for all the pressure to make sure I took the pregnancy test earlier which was nice. I was allowed to lay down for like an hour, drank some water and ate because I was sooooo hungry, the clinic gave me one piece of cheese. I had big ice packs on me, and there was a huge stain on my body from stomach to neck and shoulders, which I was told was an anti septic. I was able to wipe that off, have a demo on how to empty drains and what my meds all do, and then I was able to leave after I used the bathroom and got dressed. I was able to do all of this on my own relatively easy, and then I was able to go back to where I was staying and that's where I've been!

Ive already emptied my drains on my own and am able to get up and walk around, i have pretty minimal pain right now and am only using Tylenol instead of the strong pain meds they prescribed. But yeah that's it, comment or DM me if you have any questions or anything!

[jonogueirawrites]

The in-between.

Chapter 10 of 20 (?).

Chapter 1.

Siblings.

AO3

Two weeks had come and gone since the whole ordeal at Nevermore and her house. Evangeline took the time to learn. She learned how to be a demon. How to be an angel. How to be herself. 

Initially, she intended to study during the break, but her books were forgotten inside her luggage. The extra assignments ignored as well. Her phone locked inside a drawer in her room. 

Her father and brother taught her how to fly more efficiently, how to fight, and how to use her angelic instincts and powers. Telekinesis, healing self and others, and detection of malevolent intent. 

While they had a more hands-on approach, her mother was more for instinct. She took Evangeline away to spend a few days with her family. She was welcomed since the moment she arrived, and they showered her with love, gifts, and wisdom. They taught her how to feel. Feel the dark side of her. Take control and command. Not to fear the darkness but to embrace it. 

They partied and shared stories. She listened to every word they told her. Every day there was a subtle test for her to pass. All about her super senses and controlling her temper. 

Being what she was, Evangeline had positive and negative abilities from both sides. She was fast, had high stamina, and could sense someone’s presence from afar. On the downside, she was constantly famished, had trouble keeping still for long periods, and had claustrophobia. Not to mention the usual angelic and demonic weaknesses.  

Coming back home feeling more in control of herself, she spent the following days meditating and putting everything she had learned into practice. 

During one morning, when she was listening to music and playing games in her room, her brother knocked on the door with a sad look on his face. “No one can tell there was a fight here.” He plopped on her bed. “One of the perks of having a lot of money, I guess.” He looked at her with a small smile on his face. “Look-” 

“You don’t have to apologize.”  

“Evangeline, please…” He got silent when she took her headphones off. “I would do anything for you.” 

“I know.” 

“Look. I’m sorry, I really am, but I spend all my life seeing people picking on my sister because of what she is. Making her try her best to prove to them something she never needed to in the first place. How many times have I seen you crying? Or holding the tears to show how strong you are?” He sat on the bed and patted his side, signaling for her to sit. “All I ever wanted was to see you happy. And after that guy….” 

“Nate…” 

“No, Evangeline. You don’t understand. I wasn’t there to protect you. Not that you needed any, but I’m your big brother… I don’t know. I felt so useless and worthless of being your brother I just-” He was silenced by her arms around his neck. 

“You are my big brother. And I love you so, so much, Nathanael. I know that I can count on you for anything. You said you felt useless, like, what the fuck are you talking about? How could you be there?” She caressed his hair. “You were there when I needed you. You were always there when I needed you. Actually, you always are.” 

“I guess you’re right. I mean, I’m a badass, right?” He ruffled her hair.  

Evangeline tried to avoid his touch, but he didn’t let her. He made sure her hair was all tousled and messed up. “You are such a jerk.” She laughed. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again. 

“Nate, let me be clear, okay? If you ever fuck up, I will tell you. Deal?” 

He looked at her. She felt all the weight of his guilt and protectiveness. He wasn’t the best with words, but he always knew what to do. When he lifted his hand to play with her hair, she let him.  

“Deal.” He pushed her and laid back on her bed.  

Evangeline rolled her eyes at her brother and went back to her game. Before she could sit, his words caught her attention again. 

“Xavier, huh?” 

“This again?” 

“I don’t know. He seemed very keen on getting your attention. You two smelled close.” He pretended to read one of her books. “This is garbage.” He threw it through the window. 

“That’s mine. Go get it back.” 

He rolled his eyes, and in an instant, he opened his wings and flew out of her window, returning shortly with her book in hands. “Here.” He leaned on her table. “So?” 

“It’s none of your business. And how creepy of you to be thinking about that for over two weeks. Eew!” 

“You broke his heart, didn’t you?” 

She looked at him. “Why would you assume something like that?” 

“That’s a pretty fine bow you have there.” He stood and walked to the display beside her harp.  

“Stop smelling my shit, Nathanael. That’s gross.” 

“He was all puppy eyes your way too.” 

“Look. There was something. But it was best we parted ways.” 

“Why?” 

“Because of who I am and what that means for him?” 

“You mean of who you were?” He looked over his shoulder at her. “You were a scared little thing.” 

“Well… It’s still best if he forgets about me.” 

“Why? Because now you spent some time with mom and learned not to give a fuck and just enjoy life?” 

“Xavier is… He deserves better.” 

“That is for him to decide. And who the fuck would be better than my sister?” He traced the glass with his fingertips. “Do you like him?” 

She looked at her brother. He had the same eyes as his father. She knew he would know if she lied. “Yes,” she said, gazing away. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” There was disbelief in her tone. 

“Okay.” He placed his hand on top of the display. “I mean, you can kick his ass if he hurts you. And I know what he looks like and his scent, so….” 

“Eww, eww, eww.” She shook her head. “Stop talking about that.” 

“We are hunters, little sister. Now that you learned how to control your powers, you will see that it’s not something we can control. Do you really think I want to actively remember the smell of the man my sister banged? Eww! You’re disgusting.” 

“Nathanael!” 

He chuckled. “Look, as I said, it’s not something we can control when we fear that we are in danger, in this case, my little sister. All I saw was a guy annoying you, and I couldn’t help it. What would you do if you thought the twins were in danger?” 

She narrowed her eyes at him and then shrugged. “Yeah, yeah. I get it.” 

“That really is a fine bow.” 

“Don’t!” 

The sound of breaking glass filled her room.  

“Opsy.” His fingers were curled around the wood. A smirk on his face. 

“I hate you.” 

“Daniel will have it back with a flick of his hand. That reminds me, I need to get him a fishing rod.” 

“Why?” 

“We are fishing buddies. Father, he and I go fishing every year, but he broke his rod last year, and I want to gift him a new one.” He shrugged. “He deserves way more but is as stubborn as father.” 

“I think it comes with being an angel.” They chuckled. 

“Let’s see if this bow is of any good.” He walked to the door. “Also, this week is the last week of your break, so we are partying every night!” 

“And where are we going?” 

“Mother gave me a list of clubs. Some of them are really shady.” 

“So, you want me to watch your back?” 

“Of course!” He shook his head in confusion. “Why else would I take you?” He winked at her, and she laughed. 

“Let’s just go and shoot something, Nathanael.” 

——————————————————————————

Xavier scrolled through his Instagram account. Trying to find something that would entertain him. With the University’s break ending in two days, he became restless. The more he tried not to think about Evangeline, the more he did. Sighing, he threw his phone on his bed and opened his sketchbook to try and do something. 

Last time, he promised himself. Standing from his chair and forgetting the sketchbook on the desk, he retrieved his phone. He looked for the messaging app and sent her one more message. 

Hey! Just reaching out to see if you’re okay or need anything? I’ve been worried after what happened and just wanted to let you know I’ve also been thinking a lot about you. Maybe we could go to Weathervane when we get back to uni? I would love to hear wh- 

Xavier rolled his eyes. He shook his head and deleted the whole message. After thinking for a while, he just wrote a quick Hey! How are things? See you back at uni? 

Going through the previous messages, he noticed they were all similar. And all of them were left on delivered. 

He sat on the bed and threw his head back. Closing his eyes and praying that she was okay.  

I love you. He typed but never sent it.  

With her in his mind, he went back to his desk. He took the pencil from the case and started drawing her by her lips. He didn’t know how long he had focused on it until the first droplets of rain wet the paper. He stood with a sigh and closed the window over the desk. He walked to his balcony and admired the stars in the sky before closing the doors. 

He still had to shower and grab something to eat but opted to finish the portrait first. As soon as it was done, he headed to the bathroom. The warm water reminded him of her touch, and he did what he had tried so hard not to since the last day he had seen her. He rested his forehead on the cold wall and cried. 

Getting out of the shower, he stared at the mirror and promised he wouldn’t be sad when she didn’t return to university.

There was a sudden pressure in his brain followed by a noise in his room, and Xavier’s instinct told him something was terribly wrong. Without many options, he decided to deal with whatever it was face on. 

The first thing he saw was wet golden wings spread in his room. The owner was hunched over his desk. Small puddles forming under him. Before he could open his mouth, the man in front of him chuckled. 

“Wow. You really are talented.” He turned with the sketchbook in hands. “And you’re a little obsessed with my sister.” He looked over the top of the pages at Xavier. One eyebrow up, making Xavier ponder if in amusement or something else. Darker. 

“Is everything okay with Evangeline, Nathanael?” He walked up to the angel and snatched the sketchbook from him. Closing it, he threw it on the bed. 

Nathanael observed him. When his inspection was finished, he smirked. “I liked that the first thing you asked was about my sister’s wellbeing and not fullish things like Why are you here?” 

Xavier crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes never left Nathanael’s. 

“Evangeline is fine. She is stronger than you and me.” His wings disappeared right before he leaned on the desk. “So let’s get to the point.” He crossed his arms as well. “What do you want with my sister? And please do think very carefully before answering.” 

Without blinking, Xavier answered, “Everything.” 

“Everything?” Nathanael tilted his head. 

“Her attention, her smile, her hugs, her trust, her kisses. Everything.” 

Nathanael stood. Something inside him shifted, and Xavier could feel the change in his bones. When the intruder walked to him, he felt his body going numb. There was heaviness in the air. “Is it an angel thing or a family thing?” Their eyes never wavering. “She tried that with me, and it didn’t work. I’m not scared of you either.” 

Xavier was surprised when the angel started laughing, but his following words baffled him. 

“C’mon then, tortured artist. Fearless soul.” He walked and patted Xavier’s shoulder. “We have a club to go to, and my sister hates waiting.” 

“What are you-?” 

Xavier never finished his question because Nathanael grabbed his arm, and soon they flew into the rainy night sky. And although Xavier should be terrified, he couldn’t stop smiling. He was going to see Evangeline again. 

I hope you liked.

Likes and reblogs are super appreciated!

[abortedfetusgummy]

Here’s part 1 of documenting everything that’s happened in my first few days recovering from top surgery!

The day before I made sure to have clean sheets and clean pajamas after taking a shower and liberally applying the special soap they gave me. I showered again in the morning and used the same soap before leaving to go to the hospital. My parent and I arrived just before the center opened at 6, and sat in the waiting room, checking in once the person arrived. Shortly after a lady came to weigh me and had me take a pregnancy test (negative obviously) She took me to my pre and post op room which was very very tiny. I put on the gown, hair net, and these uncomfortable ugly socks. She asked me a bunch of questions about my health and things, then she hooked me up to an EKG and blood pressure that stayed on my arm the whole time. Another nurse came in to put the IV in which I barely felt. She missed the first time because I was dehydrated from not drinking or eating beforehand. While she did that my anesthesiologist came to chat with me. Then my parents came in and the nurse just filled them in on all the details. Eventually my surgeon came in and I showed her the pictures of results I liked for reference. My parents left so she could make all the marks on me. Then she left to go to get set up. At 7:30 I walked with a nurse down to the operating room and laid down on the table. The nurses chatted with me and I don’t remember when I fell asleep. I woke up in the recovery room very disoriented, the room seemed to move as I looked around. Eventually I realized I had just gotten out of surgery. A nurse was next to me and talked to me. She fed me some ice chips and I starting crying really hard (for the first time in a very long time) and saying ‘I did it, it’s over,’ I was so happy. She and another nurse quickly checked my incisions, I looked down but I was loopy so it was hard to see what I looked like. Even though they used a breathing tube my throat felt fine. My chest wasn’t hurting before but then it really starting aching and it sucked. It went from like 2/10 to 7/10 pain wise. Once I was finally more oriented , I was wheeled back to my post op room. My parents weren’t there so the nurse went and got them. They came back and I talked to them. The nurse asked about what I wanted to eat and drink so I got a popsicle, some apple juice, some jello, and some coffee. They were all delicious. Half of my tongue was numb too, they said I must of bit it and I had a little mark. More nurses came in and looked at my incisions again. I have two different compression vests on. The black one that zips up, the bottom folds up so that’s where my drains are held, and then the tube top-like white one that goes over everything. When they took off the white wrap, the binder, and the dressings, it really hurt, losing the pressure there and I asked for some more pain meds on my IV. It started to work a little bit slowly. I went to a 6/10 then 5/10. The nurse had me get up and walked down the hall a bit, I walked a little more cause I felt better. A little more time waiting and then I got dressed, and they put me in a wheelchair to take me back to the car. I used a blanket under the seatbelt which was really nice. I got home and my mom set me up on the couch and I ate some ice cream while sitting. My pain was coming back a bit and it was 6/10 again after the ibuprofen. I had a long time before I could take either tylenol or ibuprofen, so I took one of the five oxycodone they gave me before I changed my drains. My left one had a lot more fluid, blood, and clots than my right one but not so much that I was worried. The removal of the pressure of the binder hurt a bit but I could handle it. My pain was better after the oxycodone. My tongue was still numb from earlier. The setup in my room was nice. Lots of pillows propping me up, a bin for a bunch of snacks to go in, I had a lap table for eating and things, then a bedside table holding a little bin with all my meds in it and two papers to track drain fluids and meds. Two friends came over for about 45 mins cause I felt pretty alright, I wasn’t woozy at all. It was really nice.

Part ll below

[ohsilverplease]

I could, no smarm intended, use your thoughts and prayers and good vibes and whatever other positive things you can beam into the universe and point my way.

My mom is in the hospital, at the care level below ICU, with fluid around her heart and lungs. She was diagnosed with COPD and asthma this summer and I guess she never fully recovered from the pneumonia she also had at that point. She's awake (well I haven't talked to her today but we texted some last night) but we don't know next steps yet.

Older Bro has been visiting my parents for a week but had to fly back this morning (out of DC, a 4-hour drive from their house). Dad was driving him to the airport and stopped at my house at 2 am to drop off the dog (who belongs to my cousin, who just had back surgery so we are fostering one of his pups). Dog escaped before they even made it through the gate, while I was still sleeping. I woke up at 3 to pee, thought "hmm I thought they'd have been here an hour ago" and they drove up a minute later to say they'd been chasing her for 45 minutes and had to leave soon or Bro would miss his flight. They were going to take one more lap around the neighborhood but every time they'd gotten close to her, she'd run off because she thought it was a game. She's a black husky so being out at night was especially hard to see.

So I put my shoes and jacket on over my sheep pajamas, grabbed a flashlight and some treats, and headed out on foot just to see if she'd come for me. Luckily she'd been at my house a few times so at least maybe there would be familiar smells or whatever. I was going to put out food and water but I'd just seen a possum next door so I just put out water. (I am such a bad storyteller, these details are irrelevant, but it's really just for me.) So I walk to the end of my street, towards the busy road (which wasn't bad at 3 am obviously but there were a few cars). I saw a car pulled on the wrong side of the road and headed towards it, and then thought "what if this ISN'T my dad and brother and I'm heading to my doom" but then I heard them whistle and saw the pup run in front of the headlights. So we spent another 5 minutes trying to get her to stop for a treat, which she did, but darted away when I tried to grab her and ran up across the road to the woods.

So Dad and Bro left, frustrated and scared and also trying to get to the airport on time. I said I'd walk the block back home because it's safe enough, and as I'm walking back a car honks and some guy yells "your dog is in the middle of the road" and then she ran off ahead of me and turned onto my street and stopped to sniff and took a treat from me and let me put the leash on her. I kept giving her treats till we got inside, and then elatedly texted Dad and Bro so they could stop worrying. She drank a bunch of water and we went to bed at like 4.

Anyway, burying the lede here, but I have covid -- symptoms started 8 days ago, I tested negative the first 2 days, went about my business thinking I had a cold, and then tested positive on Monday. So I'm working from home, still congested, more fatigued than usual, and extra worried from lack of sleep and the fact that my dad didn't come back by here yet. He may have gone straight home but that would add an extra hour maybe for him to get to the hospital to see mom, but I'm not sure what time she can have visitors or anything. And I guess he doesn't want to spend time here that might cause him to transmit covid (even though he had it in August) considering he might be spending a lot of time at the hospital soon.

Anyway again. I have to take cupcakes to the office for a baby shower because I'm dumb and can't ask for help. Someone will meet me at the car so I don't infect anyone but I should have just done this differently. I'm so tired. I think C is coming over this afternoon; he also probably has covid now. Everything is just a lot.

[marley-manson]

abortion and george

Thank you!

Abortion was basically my response to watching What's Up Doc and really wishing Hawkeye suggested an abortion, even though I knew it wouldn't happen. So basically Margaret tests positive and Hawkeye offers to abort it. I didn't get very far, and I believe the idea's been written now so I'm happy to close the book on it, since I don't think I would've finished it anyway. Though one aspect I quite liked was Margaret having a crisis while trying to decide, and letting herself agree to it specifically because Hawkeye suggested it, in a somewhat irrational yet thematically on point "well if Hawkeye's willing to do it then it can't be child-murder," kind of way.

I'm gonna post most of what I have written because it's otherwise never gonna see the light of day lol so might as well:

He couldn’t deny the rush of excitement he felt when he saw the result, but it only took a second for his brain to kick in and sober him up. When he turned to Margaret his smile was gone. “It’s positive,” he said. 

“Oh,” Margaret said. “Oh, I -- I see. Oh God.” She took a clumsy step back, hand moving to cradle her head like a hurricane of a headache had just descended on her.

“I’m sorry,” he offered. The U.S. Army losing a valuable officer wasn’t exactly breaking his heart, but the way this would trap her in her marriage -- she deserved more than Donald Penobscott and his mistresses. He didn’t want her to lose her chance for more. “I-” he began, and stumbled. How should he say this? 

“It’s all right,” she said. “It’ll be fine. I’ll-” and then she burst into the tears she’d been holding back for days. 

Okay, first things first. “Shh,” he said as comfortingly as he knew how, and drew her into his arms. He stood with her and held her for a long time, the chest of his scrubs growing damp with tears and snot. She didn’t have to be mourning her life on him right now, but this was a delicate issue, one he could theoretically lose his license over, or even worse. It wouldn’t hurt to let her get her feelings out before broaching the subject.

Eventually she started to calm down. “Sorry,” she said, face still pressed against him and voice muffled. “I shouldn’t be upset. I’m a woman for god’s sake, I should be happier than you.”

“Hey, look, I get it. I love kids, and if you were ready to have them I’d be throwing you a week long party to celebrate, and two baby showers on top of that. But sometimes it’s just not the right time or place. Or husband.”

“Or all three.” Finally she pulled away. “Well. I suppose I’d better start writing my resignation letter. Will - will you tell Colonel Potter for me? Tell him I’ll discuss it tomorrow?” 

It was now or never. “Wait. Completely hypothetically, and please forget I ever said anything if you say no, what if I told him it was negative? And then we... got rid of it?” 

Shock painted itself over her face and he braced himself for shouting, but what she said next came out in a frantic whisper. “You mean - an abortion?” 

“Yeah. I’ll throw you the party if you want one, but, y’know, you have another option.”

She was speechless for a long, tense moment. Whether she was debating the question or debating whether to slap or punch him, he didn’t know. Her next words were a furious rush. “Where would I get one? Some Korean midwife’s hut? Do you have any herbs in your footlocker I can chew? A knitting needle I can borrow?”

“Margaret, I was offering.”

That stopped her cold. “You can do that?” 

“If you want. I used to make a killing in the alley behind”- her expression warned him away like the colors of a poison frog -"Sorry. I did a couple out of my living room during my residency. For friends.” At this point he didn’t think she was going to turn around and report him, but he still winced internally at the thought. 

"And you weren't worried about the risk?"

"I kept things sterile."

"I meant -"

"Yeah I know.” He shrugged. “It was worth it. I can’t stand to see a girl cry. You know, one of those friends would’ve ended up on the street if she’d had to tell her parents. She was psyching herself up to stab herself with a kitchen skewer and came to me to ask how to minimize the chances of an infection. I got the story out of her and what else could I do? Hand her a bottle of rubbing alcohol and say, ‘good luck?’” 

Margaret was silent for a beat and a half before she said, "That was decent of you."

He grinned, feeling a weight slip off his shoulders. Maybe in other circumstances that revelation would’ve drawn disgust or outrage from her, but politics didn’t seem too important right now. He wanted to help, and Margaret hadn’t slapped his outstretched hand away yet.

***

George is just a half-baked idea like, what if George returns with another injury during BJ's years, Hawkeye shoos BJ off so he can hang out and shoot the shit with him and BJ gets despondent and goes around trying to find out who George even is and why he's not invited, learns from Radar that George is gay and gets sus. All I have written here is a kind of meh conversation imo - I'd offer an excerpt from BJ's pov but that's written down in a notebook, not in my docs lol.

“How do you do it?”

“Well, you take five parts gin, stirred, not shaken, and drink to honour the vermouth’s memory.” He demonstrated that last with a flourish.

George laughed and shook his head. “I mean, how do you get away with it? I let one ‘he’ slip out while drunk and got my ass kicked. But in the last two days you told a corpsman to meet you in the supply room, you told Harry you’ll ask him to the movies when he can walk there, and you threatened to kiss Major Burns.”

“You should see what I do on my days off.” He drained his glass and sighed. “Look, I’m lucky. I was blessed with an eye for the female figure as well, and the total inability to be serious for more than two sentences at a time. I couldn’t keep my tastes a secret if it would end the war tomorrow, but no one’s taken me seriously yet, unless they’ve got the same tastes. But unless you want to study Groucho Marx until you’re phd certified, I don’t think my tricks will help you much. You’re better off staying sober and subtle.”

George looked at his own drink pointedly, and Hawkeye laughed. “Just us girls tonight, you can let loose a little.”

[mysynthfetish]

Omicron and on and on and on and on

What was that 90s song, "Onward ever ever on, destination Eschaton," Shamen or something? Weird how I recall random shit like that but ask me what I had for dinner yesterday and I'm like duhhrrrr... but anyway so yeah Omicron got me.

So that was fucking loads of fun. I've had three vaccinations so far. Time came for the 4th and I was like nah. So would I have caught this if I'd went and had that vaccination? Who knows. Anyway, I felt kinda funky Friday, then Friday night around 2am the fever hit and hit hard. Chills and cold sweat while simultaneously burning up with fever, and my knees and lower back were screaming, what the hell? Took some Target brand Advil, one of the staple take-back-to-japan things I buy when in the US, fever went down. Went to the local PCR test center, result was negative. Hmmm? But then Sunday it was roller coaster fun between normalcy and feverishness, headache, and then the sore throat from hell started. Seriously the worst sore throat I've ever had. So I went to the local outpatient clinic and did the double whammy flu/covid two-for-the-price-of-one test and welliwelliwell, positive. Doc said I probably did the first test too early or the reliability of the test I took was questionable. I don't care which. Told the doc about the sore throat and he was like "ah, omicron!" So he gave me these drops you flip in a glass and then dilute with water and gargle with, check the color of this shit out:

Funky! If I wasn't half out my head at the time I woulda busted out the UV LED flashlight I have and seen if it glowed. Shit worked wonders though. Wife went on full panic mode. Basically sequestered me off in the gear room and forbid me to come out except to use the loo, after which I have to wipe down everything with disinfectant flushable wipes, or to use the shower after everyone else has gone, then she goes in with a spray bottle of bleach and douses the entire bath/shower unit. Gotta wear a mask and plastic gloves when I leave the room. Madness. All this and my older daughter still caught it. Unavoidable really. And I offered to fuck off to a business hotel for the duration but no that costs money. Hmph. Anyway... Hell of a way to end the year.

Yay officer K's spinner from Bladerunner 2049. I've been watching that movie on repeat for the past three weeks now. And the original, both theatrical release and final cut versions, of course. I'm very intrigued by the sound design and soundtrack. They had some serious shoes to fill following Vangelis with the original, but I think they did damn good. I'd love to know what they used as far as synths/softsynths go, effects too. The piano at the start of the film sounds like it was run through an Eventide processor, the H9 and the H3000 I had way back when did stuff like that, reverb and reversed, pitched delays. Super neat but not cheap.

Well I hope you peeps out there had a better end of the year than we're having here right now. Who knows what madness awaits in 2023. More shenanigans for sure. Be well, and remember, слава україні, путін хуйло, йована русня!

[ireceived-p8250000]

March 24-30 2013

It's Holy week. We also have electricity bills that are enaring to be oaid. But we can pay alter after the due date.

I was planning of going to a vacation alone but that's fine. I got my passport but where will 5k get me.

It's really crazy.

I asked Mansoor what he will be doing. He said just family gatherings. I asked if he can take me to the beach because I haven't been there ever since my parents don't ever allow me.

He said, okay.

"I don't have enough money though."

"I'll answer for it "

"Huwag I cat let you do that."

"Pay me back it's okay."

I wasn't concentrating in class anymorem Tuesday, we presented our culminating activity. And there are photos of us together with Mansoor again wit the kids.

"Uy, bagay!" Said the others.

"Next!" I said.

By Wednesday, Roxanne arrived already. Tina is also here and we kinda fought because of my attitude.

Psych Stat was doing PSS applications. So we learned that. The girls don't like Regine and avoiding her because of her negativity towards everything. She literally bring stormy clous over at anyone.

I asked a day off for tomorrw just in case we don't return in time.

"Ano, we don't have budget for like a room. There's just a parang covered for our things. Then may CR naman per may fee."

"Okay, that sfood enough for me." I said.

We plan to go by Friday. He has some family thing Thursday. I think his parents are quite good and fine. His siblings too.

Thursday, I just spent the time doing chores in the morning, then went out to the hill station cafe to edit videos before I go to my work. I do some studying too especially for stats.

I cooked food a night before. Just some fruits.

Then Friday morning at 5am, I met up with him at the bus station. We bought Jollibee foods. I'm really feeling fluttered wit him sitting together wit me.

"You know you get to know a person better when you travel together." I said.

"Test ba to?"

"Sinasabi ko lang."

The trip was just about an hour. We went down and flagged down a trike.

And we were lucky to catch the sunrise. I took a lot of photos. And photos of him. By 8, the sun is shining. I changed and wore a bikini bra and sports shorts. I'm wearing some light coverup underneath since I don't want to show my whole body with some distributed fats all over.

I saw him looking and was shyung away. He really is a good person.

He taught me how to swim but I gave up almost immediately.

"Bahala ka pag tinapon ka sa dagat." He said.

The sun was torture in the morning. Good hing he lent me a cap. We walked around and he answered for my food and drinks.

We swam a bit more but we are just on the sand talking and having jokes. Then taking photos. We had a quiet time as we both read after lunch. At 2, we showered. Separatelynoff course and ready to go back.

We caught a bus back home at 3. So tired so I slept on his shoulder. He allowed me to sleep on his lap since I also brought like a small pillow.

We reached the city at 5 and had coffee at Luisa's first. Then walked somewhere behind SM just to watch he sunm it's corny romantic sure but tis beautiful.

I went home at 7. The mother and daughters are still there. Tina slept in Ran's room and Keisha too.

Tina was talking to me but I shut the door.

I slept and wke up hours later and did some video edits. I asked Mansoor if he's okay to let me upload some photos. He said it's okay but warned me that we will get teased a lot for it.

So I just picked the ones that subtly shows him. I have him copies. All of it. Except the ones I look ugly in off course.

I started blogging again. Then sketching.

I slept late and woke up late Saturday. Just did chores and later went out to town and studied at a cafe.

Then I headed to work. We have a lot of customers aoaprenytly

March 24-30, 2013Sunday, March 24It's Holy Week, and I'm juggling paying electricity bills and planning a potential solo vacation. However, with only ₱5,000, it's challenging to figure out where I could go. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, I asked Mansoor what his plans were. He mentioned family gatherings, so I asked if he could take me to the beach since my parents never allowed me to go.

He agreed.

"I don't have enough money, though," he told me.

"I'll cover it," I said said.

"Huwag, I can't let you do that."

"Pay me back, it's okay," I insisted.

Monday, March 25

I was distracted in class, thinking about the upcoming beach trip. We presented our culminating activity, and there were photos of me and Mansoor with the kids. "Uy, bagay!" the others teased. I brushed it off, saying, "Next!"

Tuesday, March 26

Roxanne arrived, and Tina was here too. We had a fight over my attitude. In Psych Stat, we learned about PSS applications. The girls are avoiding Regine due to her constant negativity. I asked for a day off tomorrow just in case we didn't return in time."Ano, we don't have a budget for a room. There's just a covered area for our things and a CR with a fee," Mansoor informed me."Okay, that's good enough for me," I replied.

Wednesday, March 27Mansoor had a family event today, so I spent the morning doing chores and then went to Hill Station Cafe to edit videos before work. I also studied for stats. I cooked some food the night before, mainly fruits.

Thursday, March 28I spent the day doing chores and editing videos. I also prepared for our beach trip by packing my bag and getting everything ready.

Friday, March 29At 5 AM, I met Mansoor at the bus station. We bought Jollibee food, and I felt butterflies with him sitting next to me. "You know you get to know a person better when you travel together," I said."Is this a test?" he joked."Sinasabi ko lang."The trip took about an hour. We flagged down a trike and caught the sunrise, taking lots of photos. By 8, the sun was shining brightly. I changed into a bikini bra and sports shorts with a light coverup. I saw Mansoor glancing at me shyly. He really is a good person.He tried teaching me how to swim, but I gave up almost immediately. "Bahala ka pag tinapon ka sa dagat," he teased.The sun was harsh in the morning, but he lent me a cap. We walked around, and Mansoor covered my food and drinks. We swam a bit more, then sat on the sand talking and joking, taking more photos. After lunch, we had quiet time reading. At 2, we showered separately and got ready to go back.We caught a bus home at 3, and I slept on his shoulder during the ride. He let me sleep on his lap with a small pillow I brought. We reached the city at 5 and had coffee at Luisa's before walking behind SM to watch the sunset. It was corny romantic, but beautiful.I got home at 7. Tina, Keisha, and the mother were still there. Tina tried talking to me, but I shut the door. I slept for a few hours, then woke up to do some video edits. I asked Mansoor if he was okay with me uploading some photos. He agreed but warned we’d get teased a lot. I picked ones that subtly showed him and gave him all the copies, except the ones I looked ugly in.I started blogging again and sketched a bit. I stayed up late.

Saturday, March 30I woke up late, did chores, and then went to town to study at a cafe. Later, I headed to work, which was busy with many customers.

[lindsaystravelblogs1]

Day 11, Monday, 26 December

Boxing Day – is that name unique to Australia? Whenever it gets mentioned, there is nearly always an addendum ‘for the Australians present’ or similar.

Heather visited the doctor immediately after breakfast. There was not much she could do, but she did an examination and gave her some anti-inflammatories and a cold-pack to use.  Not a lot of help but the pain is preventing Heather participating in things so anything that helps at all is more than welcome.

I went ashore on Vega Island in the morning. It was a visit to a massive Adelie Penguin colony.  It was about a kilometre or more long and a couple of hundred metres wide on average, with hardly room for another penguin to fit.  There were thousands of chicks with most birds guarding two little balls of grey fluff.  They are all very cute, totally unafraid of us, but it really is life in the raw. Numerous Skuas and a few Kelp Gulls were constantly cruising, looking for prey and I saw a couple of chicks caught and eaten, almost in front of the parent birds.  Some people climbed a nearby mountain, but I returned to the ship when I had seen all there was to see.

After lunch, there was another landing, this time on Devil Island where the Brits had set up two small research huts in the 1950s. The better maintained one was gifted to Chile in the 1990s, but it is still not in good repair by any means. We were able to get into the other one and it is tiny.  I took a few photos, but the rooms are so small that I couldn’t get far enough away to take any photos that might prove useful.  It must have been dreadful for the guys who lived there, cramped up and snowed in for months at a time.  The part of the island we saw was littered with trash – garbage of all sorts simply everywhere.  There were also thousands of bones and pieces of bone, even most of a desiccated seal. Our guide said it was all the remains of animals killed for dog meat, but there must have been quite a lot of dogs eating at the top table for quite some time.  If all the bones were collected, they would have weighed tons. There was also a cross erected on a cairn with a model of Mary in a glass box in a small shrine just outside the hut, presumably to bolster the occupants’ optimism about surviving their ordeal.  There were also long thick steel ropes snaking away in several directions with one end securing the huts and the other ends wrapped and tied around huge boulders – in case the wind huffed and puffed and blew their house out to sea.

It was snowing when we were there, and it was getting heavier, so I returned to the zodiacs pretty soon and I think I was actually the first person back on board after the excursion.  I took the opportunity to do a bit of washing.  With my cold still pretty bad, having a supply of clean hankies is good so I have done several lots of hand washing, mainly undies and hankies, but the occasional shirt too.  I just hang them in the shower recess and they mostly dry overnight.

I was pretty cold when I got back on board so had a nice warm shower and Heather had one too.  Then we all had to have another RAT test.  Three people tested positive, including a couple from Canberra that we have hung out with a bit (David and Megan) – and there were two close contacts, so all are now in ISO.  The woman who originally tested positive got out of ISO two mornings later and for some reason, they reckon they are not going to do any more tests. Aurora certainly has some strange policies – but I think I discussed this earlier!  David actually tested negative, but as a close contact, he had to go into ISO – but not with Megan.  David is living with leukemia and needs to be very careful about any other health risks.

With all of this activity happening, it was a late dinner, but there was another lecture at 9.30pm.  It was by the woman (Nina) who did the historical lecture a couple of days ago and she is a brilliant storyteller.  She just speaks it as if she was there and it is so fluent and down-to-earth that you feel as if you are there yourself.  She also has a very quick wit and dry humour and had us all in fits of laughter.  She illustrated her talk about a very strange Swedish expedition that fragmented and realigned with the respective fragments and other rescuers in the most amazing coincidences with little figures, with people, dogs, ships and tents popping up and moving around the screen as she spoke, and we were almost rolling on the floor laughing at what was potentially a tragic story.  She is simply brilliant, and a storyteller par excellence.

[elsaclack]

smile, though your heart is aching

Jake, to his credit, manages to hide the vast majority of his disappointment.  She catches the flash of it across his face, but then it’s masked - by acceptance, by determination, by hope.  His disappointment flickers and dies as quickly as the last sparks of a firework lighting the sky off in the distance, and for a moment, Amy wants to cry. 

She’s cried a lot in the last month.  Some of it with Jake, most of it in secret.  She’s just never felt so helpless before - having babies is practically a genetic condition in her family, hardwired in the Santiago DNA.  It should be easy.  But it isn’t, and she can’t seem to find any rhyme or reason behind why it isn’t easy, and the thought of visiting her doctor just to find out that for the first time in her entire family lineage a Santiago can’t have babies is just south of debilitating.

The negative pregnancy test makes a hollow thunk as it lands against the bottom of the empty kitchen trash can, and Jake flashes her a small, encouraging smile.  “I love you,” he reminds her, voice soft.

She nods, jaw clenched against the sudden sharp emotion in her throat.  “Love you, too,” she murmurs once she’s certain her voice won’t warble.

They watch old reruns on the couch, Jake’s arm firm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side.  Blunt nails scratch lightly along her upper arm, more of a faint tickle than anything else through the sleeve of her sweater, and Amy sighs before she lets her head fall to Jake’s shoulder.  She can see the corner of her calendar in the war room from where she sits, but for now it’s nothing more than a blip on her radar; oddly enough, she can’t actually remember the last time she was this close to him without sex hanging over their heads.  So she closes her eyes and nestles in a little closer, and Jake’s hand flattens against her arm as he pulls her closer still.

“We’ve still got time,” he reminds her, voice soft, barely audible over the television.  She doesn’t open her eyes.  “And we’ve got options.”

She nods after a moment, letting one of her clasped hands settle over his thigh.  “I know,” she murmurs.  “I don’t wanna think about it right now.”

He resumes his gentle scratching, turning his head to plant a kiss against the top of her head.  “Okay.” he says, and she feels the line of his nose against her scalp.  “I love you, Amy.  So much.”

Her chest feels a little looser than before, so she squeezes his thigh as she pulls her head up.  He’s looking down at her, the faintest traces of anxiety gathering in the fine lines around his eyes; she smiles, and the anxiety softens.  “I know,” she tells him, and the anxiety disappears altogether.  “I love you, too, Jake.  More than you know.”

He cranes his neck just slightly to kiss her, and it’s soft and warm and healing.  She’s missed this, too - kissing for the sake of kissing, rather than it being a vehicle toward quick sex followed by hours of monitoring her body.  It makes her heart flutter and lurch in an entirely pleasant way, and when she pulls back to see a dazed, dreamy smile plastered across his face, she can’t help the quiet laugh that bubbles up from the pit of her gut.

-

They don’t have sex for a while - neither one of them says anything about it, but Amy can tell they’re both relieved.  The desire to have a baby is definitely still burning in Amy’s mind, but it’s moved to more of a backburner - it’s easy to ignore when she focuses on managing her beat cops or hanging out with Rosa or reorganizing her bookshelves just for the hell of it.  Jake seems to immerse himself in his things, too - playing more video games and spending more time with Charles and joining some Die Hard-focused LARPing group on Facebook that meets twice a month in Central Park.

(“I gotta say, they really loved your Holly wig, babe,” he tells her as he pushes the fringe of unruly and uncombed curls out of his eyes.  “I think I just scored that role permanently.”)

It’s kind of nice, no longer being ruled by a calendar or her body’s natural rhythms.  It’s nice eating red meat again, it’s nice being able to drink wine with dinner, it’s nice not having to sit by a window when Rosa smokes her cigars.  It’s like waking up from a six-month fever dream to find the world outside exactly the same as it was before.

Not exactly the same, of course.  Before, she only knew how hollow she could feel when Jake wasn’t around; she didn’t know exactly how hollow she could feel with sitting right beside her on the bathroom floor.

Whatever, she thinks as she pours herself a glass of red wine.  It’s a cabernet sauvignon, and it’s her favorite brand, and she doesn’t even remember when she bought this bottle because it was like discovering a lost treasure when she spotted it on the wine rack on top of their fridge.  It’s six o’clock on a Tuesday and she’s already in her pajamas, shamelessly padding around the kitchen in a pair of threadbare wool socks stolen from Jake’s sock drawer with her three-quarters-full glass of wine in one hand.  She’s scrolling through Instagram with her other, occasionally pausing to like a stray picture, mentally scrolling through her suggested for you list on Netflix, when she hears Jake’s key in the lock.

She looks up when the door opens, an easy smile on her face that quickly broadens at the state of him - he’d gone to Shaw’s with Charles after work and had clearly enjoyed the liberation on drinking.  His clothes are disheveled - shirt untucked and unbuttoned, hoodie hanging crookedly from his shoulders - and his hair is a mess, looking not unlike he’d let Charles ruffle it one too many times as the night progressed.  His eyes are half-mast and he’s a little unsteady on his feet, bracing one hand against the wall as he toes his sneakers off.  She considers snapping a picture while he’s distracted, but before she can maneuver out of Instagram, he spots her.

And the change in his demeanor is immediate.

“Ames!” he half-shouts, eyes suddenly so wide they look to be in danger of popping out of his head completely.

He trips over his shoes but doesn’t fall, stumbling forward and catching himself on the couch, eyes never leaving her face.  “Whoa,” she says, quickly setting her phone and her glass on the kitchen counter before hurrying to meet him halfway (they learned the hard way three months into dating that Drunk Jake and kitchens absolutely do not mix).  “Hey, honey, are you okay?”

He straightens up right as she reaches him, immediately folding himself in around her, enveloping her completely in a warm, swaying hug.  She hugs him back automatically, arms cinching around his waist and eyes fluttering shut as she breathes him in.  He definitely smells like booze - like whiskey, specifically - but beneath that is the familiar scent of his deodorant and aftershave that settles like a warm blanket over her senses.  “I like it when you call me that,” he says, voice rumbling in his chest.  He hiccups, and she smiles into the folds of his jacket.  “Makes me feel good.”

She quietly laughs at that, pulling back to look him in the eye.  He looks a little dopey as he grins down at her - eyes half-mast again, and now she’s close enough to see that they’re a little bloodshot, too.  His head falls forward without warning, so when he pecks a kiss against her lips she’s half-laughing, half-shouting in surprise.  “You are such a dork,” she laughs when he pulls back again.

He laughs, significantly slower than her, and lets his head tilt back.  She’s watching his adam’s apple bob in his throat when he suddenly springs to attention, his gaze fixated on something over her shoulder.  “Oh, you found the cab.”

She turns her head - all she can manage with Jake’s grip keeping her in place - and from the corner of her eye, sees her half-finished glass of wine sitting on the kitchen counter.  “You bought that?” she asks incredulously.

Jake nods, blinking slowly.  “For you,” he says after a moment.  “It’s your favorite and it was on sale at the grocery store, so…”

“That was really sweet of you,” she says earnestly, pressing up to the balls of her feet to kiss him again.

“I was gonna make a thing out of it,” he says once she’s fallen back to her heels.  She feels his fingers lacing together against her back, so she settles against him a little more and laces her own fingers together against his back.  “Like, I was gonna make dinner and have that wine and like - it was gonna be a date.”

“That’s so sweet,” she says softly.  “I’m sorry I ruined it, I had no idea -”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” he interrupts, face contorted in incredulity.  “You’ve made everything so much better, you - you don’t even know.  I just wanted you to show you, y’know?  I wanted to make you feel the way I feel when I’m with you.”

“You don’t have to do that, Jake, I promise - I’ve never felt as - as loved as I feel with you.  You don’t owe me anything, you don’t have to do any of that -”

“I want to, though,” he interrupts - and now both of his hands have flattened against her back, his arms taut where they’re resting against her sides.  “I want to show you how much you mean to me.  I want to make you feel - good.  I want to make you feel good.”

She can feel her pulse quickening at the way his eyes rake over her face - what was dopey and bloodshot before has become darker, wanting now.  She struggles against a swallow and his gaze drops down to her lips, to her throat.  Slowly - watching him watch her - she parts her lips.

He’s on her in a split-second, swallowing whatever noise or gasp of surprise wrenches out of her throat, and her entire body is on fire with carnal desire for the man pawing at the elastic waistband of her pajama bottoms.  They stumble toward the couch - they stumble because Jake seems to be trying to swallow her whole - and when the edge of the cushions brush against the side of her leg, he all but throws her down across it.

She has just enough time to get her bearings back before he’s dragging her closer to the end of the couch by her ankles, already down on his knees before her, looking very much like a predator closing in on his prey.  “I wanna make you feel good,” he murmurs again - so softly, a contradiction to the way his fingers pull so roughly at her pajama bottoms.  “I wanna make you feel good,” he repeats, pulling her closer still, pressing a kiss to the inside of her right knee.  “Please, Amy,” he murmurs, and it’s a miracle she remembers how to breathe.  “Please let me make you feel good.”

Hands shaking, chest heaving, she pushes her hair out of her face and meets his desperate, hungry gaze.  “Okay,” she breathes.

She wakes up sated and sore the next morning, stark naked on their couch, to find herself tangled with her equally naked husband snoring something fierce in her ear.  And despite the fact that his boxers somehow ended up on top of the entertainment center and she had to pour the rest of her glass of wine down the drain, she can’t wipe the grin from her face if she tried.

-

She tells herself she’s not going to take another pregnancy test.  Not for a while, at least.  Jake, in all of his blessed, drunken enthusiasm, hadn’t bothered with a condom - something she didn’t fully process until the next morning - but, still.  The thought of another pregnancy test - another no - makes her head hurt and her heart ache.

Besides, it’s nice being able to do this with him again.  To have sex fueled only by their passion for each other - she feels like they’ve just started dating again, like everything is fresh and new once more.  She loves Jake, loves him more than she ever knew she was capable of loving another human being, but she’s missed this part of it, too.  It’s nice to have it back, in a way.

They do it two other times in the two weeks that pass - it feels exciting and unpredictable, and it’s rejuvenating to the rest of their relationship, too.  They joke.  They tease.  They play stupid games and make stupid bets.  They even go out on a date - a real-life, honest-to-god date, which they haven’t been able to do since she became a sergeant.  They drink wine and hold hands and act goofy together, and then they go home and ravish each other, and she will not have that ruined by another false pregnancy test.

She’s home alone when it happens.  Jake’s off at work - texting periodically, but sparsely enough that she can tell he’s in the midst of a busy day - and she’s in the middle of cleaning the living room when her gaze drifts up to the war room.

They closed the doors to that room after the last false pregnancy test, telling themselves it’s just to take their minds off of it, but that was a month ago and neither one of them has even mentioned it since then.  She can still see the calendar through the glass - still on December, the last time they touched it - and then beyond that, at the dust gathered on her all-but-forgotten bookshelves.

She makes her way inside cautiously, feeling more like Indiana Jones entering some sacred temple than a homeowner trying to dust her library.  The calendar is still and unassuming, and yet Amy feels like one false move will send everything around her crashing to the ground.  So she approaches it slowly, duster in hand, trying not to let her eyes catch on any specific notes and failing spectacularly.

Whatever ache in her chest she managed to shuffle away in the time since is now back in full force; a sense of failure, of unworthiness, drips from her joints and clings to her bones.  With shaking hands, she rips December from the calendar, finding January pristine and unmarked, aside from the baseline she’d drawn in each month when she initially started on the calendar.

Her eyes fall automatically to the first day of her menstrual cycle, and her breath hitches.  It was supposed to be four days ago.  She’s been so caught up in this honeymoon phase sequel, she hadn’t noticed she never started her period.

And despite every instinct in her body telling her to stay calm, she can’t extinguish the little bud of hope that ignites in her chest.

There are still several unused pregnancy tests in her drawer in the bathroom.  They’ve shifted to the very back of the drawer, shuffled there by various other products.  But they’re there, waiting for her, unassuming in their plastic wrapper when she slowly pulls one out.

“It’s not the end of the world,” she tells herself when she settles on the toilet.  “We still have time.  We still have options.  It’s not the end of the world.”

She recaps the test once she’s finished and sets it on the bathroom counter, busying herself with starting the shower and undressing in the two minutes between.  Heart in her throat, eyes closed, she turns back toward the counter slowly.

And when she opens her eyes, she sees another negative.

She nods to herself, ignoring the tears pricking at her eyes, and quickly sweeps the test into the trashcan.  And it’s fine, really, because they do have time and they do have options, but none of that knowledge makes it feel any less like the end of the world.

She cries in the shower.  She can’t help herself.

She’s managed to regain some semblance of composure by the time the water runs cold, but she buries her face in her towel for a moment before setting about touseling her hair.  She’ll have to get rid of the test before Jake comes home - she’ll tell him about it eventually, she knows, but she’s certain she’s not ready yet.  She can just hide it in the empty pizza box sitting on the kitchen counter and carry it out to the trash chute like that - even if he comes home before she has a chance to get to that chore, he’ll never see it.

She wraps the towel around herself and steps out of the shower, thankful for the fogged mirror obscuring what she’s sure is her reddened, ruddy reflection, and stoops to grab the pregnancy test out of the trashcan.

And when she glances down at it - an automatic reaction - she freezes.

A second line - so faint she can barely see it - has developed next to the first.

She drops her towel.

A positive.  A positive.  She’s holding a positive pregnancy test.

“Oh my god,” she whispers.  “Oh my god.”

The spark of hope is back, now an engulfing flame, and she nearly rips the drawer out of the counter in her haste to grab the other pregnancy tests.  She’s heard of false positives, of course, just like she’s heard of false negatives, but she’s got five different brands of tests in her shaking fingers and a positive test clattering against Jake’s side of the bathroom counter and she’s going to make sure that this is the real deal.

She leaves them all on the counter to develop, too keyed up to even notice the fact that she’s still naked until she catches a glimpse at her crazed reflection in the mirror on the back of their bedroom door.  She quickly dons a pair of Jake’s boxers and one of his shirts, throwing her wet and unbrushed hair up into what she’s sure will be an absolutely insane-looking topknot, almost bouncing out of her skin as she watches the seconds tick by on the antique clock atop her wardrobe with one hand on the bathroom doorknob.

And when two minutes pass, she has to tell herself to calm down when she nearly rips the door from its hinges.

Six pregnancy tests sit on the counter before her, lined up in a perfect row.  Every single one of them is positive.

She nearly falls to her knees from the force of the sob that explodes in her chest.

She texts Jake - she isn’t sure what she says, something along the lines of get home right now based on the way it won’t stop vibrating with his responses - and twenty minutes later, she hears the front door swing open.  “Amy?”  His voice is sharp with concern, his footsteps loud and quick as he rushes through the apartment to where she can’t stop sobbing.  She hears him rushing into the bedroom and peers up at him from where she’s curled on the floor against her wardrobe - she’s sure he’s never looked so freaked out in his life, pale and windswept, eyes bugging out of his head.  “Amy, what the hell is going on?  Are you hurt?”

She shakes her head, trying to catch her breath, and he kneels down beside her.  She points to the bathroom door, still ajar, watching his gaze follow the direction of her finger, to the pregnancy tests only just visible from that angle. And he freezes.

Her hand falls back to her knees, but he doesn’t automatically move; the grip he’s got on her knee tightens, and then loosens.  “Are those…?”  She nods, wiping her face on the backs of her hands.  His eyes are wide, an unfamiliar emotion on his face as he searches her gaze.  “Are - are you…?”

She sniffles, lets her hands fall back to her lap, and nods.

Tears automatically flood his eyes, dripping quickly down his face, as his brows knit together and rise in an upside-down V.  He huffs out a breath, his grip around her knee tightening once more, and then he’s pushing himself up to his feet and pulling her up with him.  Slowly, fingers threaded tightly with hers, he shuffles closer to the bathroom counter.  The sound he makes is completely foreign in her ears, but she doesn’t have time to process it - he’s hugging the life out of her a second later, face buried in the crook of her neck, lifting her up so her toes barely brush against the ground.  She lets herself dissolve again, ignoring the practical voice in the back of her mind saying this tight of a hug probably isn’t good for the baby.

The baby. Their baby.

He lets her fall back to her feet a moment later, but only to hold her face in his hands - he kisses her hard, his joy a palpable thing as his hands quickly slide down her neck and under her arms to flatten against her back.  She kisses back the best she can, delirious, sinking her own fingers into his hair and letting the joy envelop her fully.  There are plans to be made, schedules to be fine-tuned, and a spare bedroom that needs to be transformed into a nursery, but that can wait.

“Oh my god,” he whispers when he pulls away, letting his forehead linger against hers.  She laughs, reaches up between them to brush away the tears still steadily streaming down her face.  She needs to make an appointment with an Obstetrics specialist to actually confirm what the tests are telling them, to reiterate what she knows now to be true.  “We’re gonna have a baby.”

“We’re gonna have a baby,” Amy repeats, testing the weight of the words on her tongue.  Jake releases a choked and watery laugh, which makes her blood simmer, and suddenly those are her favorite five words on the planet.  “We’re gonna be parents.”

Jake laughs again, longer than before, and pulls her back in for another tight hug - and now she’s got four more favorite words.  She’d never live through those horrible six months again for all the money in the world, but this - this moment, this impenetrable joy - wipes out every last second of sorrow and misery.

“I love you so much,” Jake says, voice louder, cracked with emotion.  “I love you, I love you, I’m - god, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Amy mumbles, eyes squeezed shut, thumb stroking against the nape of his neck.  “Thanks for getting drunk.”

“Definitely worth the hangover.”

[resusheart]

A bad start to the day

(First of all, I want to thank @xoma307 for the extaordinary GIFs they published and their request for a story to go with them. I wrote this story in their honor and with their authorization I used the GIFs they originally published as well, as two other they very kindly sent me later. I thank them for their kindness and hope you like the final product, a colaboration of the work of both of us)

Jenny was just getting dressed. She had just had the most awesome sex with Jeffrey, her partner. They were both doctors at St. Mary’s, but they always tried to make time for themselves even when their shift was about to begin. Recently it had been harder to have a good time though. She had never thought much about the palpitations she had felt for months until two weeks ago, when she felt a sharp pain in her chest and passed out. Jeff, very concerned, had taken her to see a cardiologist who was their friend, and he did some tests. The results were quite unexpected. Jenny was experiencing arrhythmias that could be very dangerous. There was talk about placing an ICD (implantable, cardioverter defibrillator) and taking drugs for the rest of her life, she would always be in imminent danger if they didn’t do something about this, but Jenny said she needed time to think about it and just walked out of the doctor’s office. That was more than she could handle at the moment. The news had affected her too much, she had always considered herself healthy, so she tried to convince herself that there had to be an easier way to solve the problem, maybe getting a second opinion would change things, but she kept pushing back the appointment, arguing she was always too busy. So, time was going by, and she was still just thinking about it.

Jeff, being the worrier he usually was, asked her every day when she was going to do something about her heart condition, He told her he was taking a few precautions, but she never let him finish, she brushed him off, telling him she had just passed out and that he was being very negative about the whole thing. Until that morning, that is.

After being together in bed, Jeff had gone to take a quick shower and she could hear him getting ready for the long day ahead. She was getting dressed as she smiled to herself thinking about the fun they had just had when, suddenly, she felt a tightness in her chest, she had trouble breathing and felt dizzy, she shouted briefly in pain while holding her chest and trying to kneel but then fell to the floor, unconscious.

Jeff had just finished shaving when he heard Jenny shout, he felt his stomach turn, anticipating what he had feared for the past two weeks and ran out of the bathroom, still naked.  He saw Jenny sprawled on the floor next to the green blanket that had covered them just a while before. She was wearing her favorite top, but he barely noticed, he was next to her in two big steps, kneeling to feel for a pulse, he checked in her neck and then in her groin, nothing.

Shit, his worst fears had come true. He took the stethoscope quickly from the table and listened to her chest, pleading for a sound, something, anything. But he only heard silence. He had told her so many times……...but this wasn’t the moment to think about that. He had to call 911 and save Jenny at the same time.

“Hello… I have an emergency…...this is Dr. Davidson….my girlfriend is in cardiac arrest… I need help…. I’m giving compressions already. Yes……1435, Sunset Avenue, I’ll be waiting…. please hurry! Every time he pushed, her throat made a sound as the air passed through her vocal cords. He could feel the air being pressed out, as if she was blowing air toward him. He got to thirty compressions and gave her two rescue breaths. He ran to the closet where he had just placed a bag with a CPR emergency kit in case it was ever needed, and he needed it right now.

He ran back to Jenny’s side and opened, almost tore off, the yellow top he had given her for her birthday and opened that front clip bra he liked so much, exposing her chest. Her breasts moved without the support of the bra and that made it easier for him to place the AED pads. He was moving as fast as he could, and yet, he felt it wasn’t fast enough.

Her breasts moved without the support of the bra and that made it easier for him to place the AED pads. He was moving as fast as he could, and yet, he felt it wasn’t fast enough. 

He placed one pad on over her right breast just under her collarbone and the other one under and to the lower side of the chest, under her left breast.  He extender her neck again and gave Jenny two rescue breaths with the ambu bag that was now next to him.

He turned the AED on, and it said with its emotionless voice, “analyzing rhythm, do not touch the patient”. After what seemed like an eternity the machine said, “continue CPR”, Jeff cursed under his breath, he needed a shockable rhythm, he restarted compressions with one hand while taking the drugs out of the CPR kit next to him, he wished he had someone there to help him, but he had to do everything alone, he was desperate, trying to find a vein to inject the epi he had at hand. Finally, he found one and quicky injected the drug into her system.

He continued CPR and after two minutes he punched the button for the machine to do its thing. “Analyzing rhythm”, it said, and it paused for way longer that what Jeffrey would like. “Shock advised, do not touch patient,” said the AED. He couldn’t help himself and placed his hand on top of the pads, so he could hold her while she received the shock. “Shocking at two hundred” said the machine and gave a long single high-pitched sound. Then it began pinging, telling Jeff it was ready. He pushed the shock button and held Jenny while her body jumped from the floor, arching her chest from the jolt of electricity a clear groan coming out her mouth as if it had really hurt her.

The machine said “analyzing rhythm” once more. He hated that unfeeling voice, but he took the opportunity to press the ambu bag firmly over Jenny’s mouth and nose to give her several quick breaths. He was angry at Jenny for being careless and not putting attention to her own health and at the same time he couldn’t imagine being without her. “Resume CPR” said the machine, so he did, he straddled her with his naked legs and gave her the best compressions he could. He wasn’t thinking about anything other than thrusting his hands deep, strong, and properly into her chest, her breasts now fully visible, giggling with each thrust, and her abdomen protruding from the force of each compression. Jeff heard something crack in Jenny’s chest. Damn, he had just broken her rib, then he shuddered as he felt her ribs grate with every compression he gave. He counted again to thirty and gave her two more rescue breaths.

The machine once more ordered him to shock her, and when it said “Shocking at two hundred” the beeping sound came and as he pushed the red button he saw her body jerk almost off the floor, her eyes open, staring into nothing. Her fingers curled as well as the soles of her feet, her breasts jumped too, and she uttered that unnatural growl that made his skin crawl. He had held her once more during the shock, trying to comfort her even though she was in cardiac arrest. He felt the electrical current go through his body too. After the shock, the machine said, “continue CPR”. Jeff knew things were getting worse by the second.

He was getting tired so he decided to switch his position to the other side, where he placed himself with Jenny’s head between his legs, and him close enough to, once more, with interlocking fingers, start compressing firmly, rhythmically, his chest practically on top of hers, feeling the absurdity of his naked body, so near to hers, but this time, not for pleasure, but to save her life……if he could only get a pulse.

He gave two rescue breaths saying “Darling, please, open your eyes”. Right after the second breath, Jenny coughed, which gave him hope, but she still didn’t respond to his voice.

He continued vigorous CPR, counting: ond, two, three, four...five.....six... He was exhausted, and sweating profusely, but he was not going to stop. He just kept looking at her, focused, gauging the depth of his compresions carefully to allow for good recoil.

Much to his relief, Jeff heard a hard knock on the door, and someone say “Emergency services! Did you call us?”. He leapt from the floor and ran to the door, trying to minimize the time Jenny was without help. The medics came in quickly, ignoring his nakedness, understanding this was urgent, and they took over the CPR, giving some relief to Jeff’s arms and also allowing him to take in what he was seeing. His friend, his lover, was lying on the floor like a rag doll, her chest and shoulders bending inward with every compression, and the pressure was such that her belly button had popped out on her abdomen. She looked so terribly sick and had a grayish tone. Her nailbeds and lips were blue. They checked her pupils and said they were sluggish. He quickly grabbed a robe that he had in the bathroom to cover himself and sat next to her, watching the medics do what he had done by himself just moments before. They injected more drugs into her system and gave them time to circulate, they also slipped a metal blade down her throat and then an ET tube, which was connected to the ambu bag and rescue breaths were resumed. The monitor showed she was in V-fib, so they shocked her again. He whispered without even noticing, “come back to me love, just come back, please”. Her battered body jumped once more and fell heavily a second later, this time, with the tube down her throat, she couldn’t make a sound. Finally, it worked, her heart was beating again, faintly, the EMTs packed her, continuing single handed compressions due to her faint heartbeat and put her on the stretcher, still controlling her breathing with the ambu. He climbed into the ambulance with them and soon they were on their way to St. Mary’s. He felt uncertainty and fear. He just talked under his breath, “don’t leave me love, I need you” as tears slid down his cheeks. The siren of the ambulance was heard on the streets of the city, as it sped its way to the hospital.

Please comment on the story, your input is greatly appreciated.

Al GIFs except the las one courtesy of @xoma307​

The last GIF courtesy of @foxthefanboi​

Story by @resusheart​

[iwalc]

Surprise- Brian May x Reader

It was late. You sat on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful, incredible life. 2 years ago, 3 years into your marriage with Brian, you decided to have a child, a token of your love for each other. It was a rough start. There were numerous times where it didn't work at all, other times when you peed on the stick, soon after seeing a positive test, the excitement was immense and when you told Brian he got so excited, all of this to then be broken by the news of miscarriage. It broke the both of you but somehow you still managed to carry on. And for the reward of not giving in you could finally tell Brian once again that you were pregnant, and that time, all went well. In August 1980 you could finally give birth to a bouncing baby girl. It was a strange feeling, suddenly the gravity of your universe shifted and everything revolved around this tiny human, the beautiful Amanda that you and your husband, the love of your life had created and would cherish forever.

You had Brian, your beautiful girl Amanda, you had a beautiful and warm atmosphere you could call home, and there was nothing more that you wanted in life. Until a few months ago.

Your husband had started to secretly give you hints until he finally sat down with you and spat it out.

"Love?" he called silently since Amanda was sleeping, from the living room as you were in the bathroom catching up some laundry. "Yes, gorgeous" you answered just as you accomplished the task at hand. "Could you come here for a minute, there is something I'd like to talk to you about", "Ofc, I'll just wash my hands first". You thought about it as you washed your hands in the warm water. It must be something that's been on his mind for a while since whenever it's something ordinary he just spits it out, out of nowhere. You were curious.

When you walked towards the living room you saw him sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees, face in his hands. This worried you quite a bit. "Hey, what's up?" you asked as you sat down next to him, your hand automatically landing on his thigh. "I uh, I... There is something that's been on my mind" he started, looking down at his feet signalling his nervousness. "Well, I figured, I've noticed there's been something on your mind lately, but I didn't want to push you into talking with me if you didn't feel ready to." you gently said as you squeezed his tight gently. "I haven't found the right time to tell you and talk to you about it" he continued. "I want to know what's on your mind, love" you answered, really wanting to know. He turned his head to look at you for a moment, his curls falling off his shoulder, a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you want me to just spit it out or with some background information?" he asked chuckling a bit, "Do you think background information will be necessary?" you asked him smiling while adoring his beautiful features. His hazel, soft eyes, his prominent cheekbones, his jawline, his beautiful dark curls framing his gorgeous face. "No, not really. I uhm", "Brian, love, I know you are nervous but it's just me, spit it out", "I want another baby Y/N" he blurted out, waiting worriedly for your reaction, a small smile daring to tug at his lips. You were quite shocked, to be honest, it wasn't what you thought your husband had been thinking so much about. "You know Amanda is growing quickly, she's almost 2 years old now and I uhm, it would be nice to give her some company and" he didn't get to finish his explanation because of you interrupting him with a kiss. Taking him by surprise.

It was a brilliant idea. It made your stomach flutter with butterflies. You pulled back from the passionate kiss, seeing his chocked state made you laugh. He smiled at you, adoration poured into the gaze that reached your face. "I'd love to expand our family and have another child with you!" you squeaked, flying into his arms, which in turn led to chuckles escaping Brian's throat. The sound filled your heart and once again you thought about how perfect your life had become. You were so in love with everything, but most importantly Amanda and Brian.

The way he got so excited. The way his hazel eyes got deeper with adoration and excitement. The way his smile reached his eyes. The way he hugged you, telling you how happy you made him, how in love he was with you and to share his life with you. The way he existed. Your heart ached with love for this man.

And that day, it was set, you were going to try for a new baby. It wasn't always easy, already having a child to take care of, as well as Brians sometimes strange working schedule. However, to you, it was quite obvious it had worked. You were experiencing some symptoms, which reminded you of your first pregnancy: Absent period, hormonal imbalance, tender breasts, bloated, nausea in the mornings. Even Brian noticed some changes:

You had just gotten out of a late-night shower and were just going to change into your pyjama shirt when Brian suddenly commented something you found very strange. "Love, have you been missing your period?" he blurted out. This was something you never ever thought he'd ever think of, never the less keep track off. You turned around to stare at him, "Yes, in fact, I have, why?". "No, I was just thinking, I reckon you told me last month that we had to buy more pads and tampons til' this time, but neither of us has bought any and you have been feeling quite fine compared to how you use to feel when the time of the month comes around." he said like it was nothing, you just starred at him incredulously, at awe of the attention he had paid. "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked as his face fell. "No, no you didn't. I'm just amazed by the attention you pay to those kinds of things. I wasn't prepared for the question nor the explanation for it." you said and chuckled as you dragged the shirt over your head. Walking to the bed you smiled to yourself, wow, what a man. As you buried yourself under the quilt, snuggling up to Brian who gladly put his arm around you he blurted out another incredulous comment. "I also can't help to notice that your breast has gotten bigger". You laughed at the comment. "I don't know if they're bigger, but tender they definitely are. How do you notice all of these things?" you couldn't help but ask as you looked up at him. "Well, I don't know, I guess I just do. And I've known you for about ten years now, and we've been together for almost eight of those. I would like to say I know you very well" he stated. "Well yes, you definitely do, and I love you for it!" you said as you reached up for a kiss, he chuckled a bit and smiled into the kiss.

Brian didn't ask anything after that, you know he had his suspicions but neither of you wanted to get the hopes up too early, regarding all of the tries before Amanda. However, after emptying your stomach one morning, you decided that it would be time to take a test. Brian couldn't be with you this time since he had work at the studio that had to be done, and since Amanda was spending time with her grandparents, Ruth and Harold, you figured it would be a perfect time. Since Brian wasn't home, nor did he know you were going to take a test, you decided to keep it a secret until you knew the result and decided to take it from there.

You had pregnancy tests laying around in a draw in the bathroom. You took one, peed on it, and while waiting for a result you went to eat some breakfast. Coming back to the bathroom to look at the test, you suddenly became very nervous, you really wanted it to be positive! You would hate to break the news to Brian, telling him that it was negative and that the symptoms had been a result of something else. You took a deep breath and grabbed the test. You slowly turned it around, feeling the nervousness clearly increase. All the fear suddenly washed away, it was positive.

Suddenly you felt all the emotions in the world all at once. Tears started to drip from your eyes as you smiled like crazy. The excitement was a fact which resulted in several exited screams and runs throughout the house. If anyone could see you they'd probably think you'd be crazy. But you didn't care because you were the happiest. You had more than you would ever wish for.

Before taking the test you were thinking about waiting to tell Brian until you've seen a doctor etc but now, there was no way you could make that happen. You tried not to call Brian at the studio to tell him. Instead, you rushed to the phone and decided to call Ruth and Harold.

It felt like it took forever before anyone picked up the phone. "The May household" you heard Harold answer. "Hi Harold, it's Y/N, how are you?", "Hello Dear, I'm fine thank you, how are you?" he asked, he sounded happy, it warmed your heart. You contemplated whether telling them or waiting. Apparently, you had been quiet for too long, "Is everything alright?" he seriously asked. You hesitated a bit, "Yeah, I uhm I think so", "You doesn't sound too sure about that dear, would you like to talk to Ruth?", "That would be nice, thank you, Harold". Harold was a great grandad and a wonderful father in law, however, you had always had a better connection towards Ruth.

You heard Harold calling for Ruth and some muffled noises. "Hello dear!" you heard Ruth's voice cheering through. "Hello Ruth, how are you? And Amanda?" you gently asked, not really levelling with her enthusiasm. "Oh I'm fine dear, thank you for asking. Amanda just ate some soup, so she's full and satisfied" she laughed. "That's great! I hope you're all having a good time and that she's behaving" you chuckled. "Oh dear, don't worry, she's the best!" you chuckled as an answer. "Now, Y/N, will you tell me what's wrong?", "I uhm, I was wondering if I could pick Amanda up a bit earlier than planned? Like today?", it was quiet for some time before she answered. "Oh, well yes of course you can! Is there something wrong?" she asked. "No, I don't think so at least" you chuckled, "I just want her home for tonight when Brians getting home.", "Y/N, I'm sorry but I can see right through you, there is something on your mind.", "Well yes, there are, I just don't know if I want to tell you before I tell Brian.", "Oh" and with this, you knew she understood. "Ok, I think you know by now anyway, I uhm, I'm..... pregnant, and I wanted to" you didn't get to finish your sentence because there was a scream on the other end and it made you laugh. "Oh my heavens, Congratulations!! I am so happy for you two!" she almost screamed. "Don't get too excited Ruth, it's still pretty early" you voiced your fears. "Oh dear, I understand your fear, I really do, but it will be alright in the end, I promise!", at this you got emotional, tears started to stream down your cheeks and you sniffled, "Oh love, It will be alright! We'll pack Amandas things and then we'll be right over, okay?", "Okay" you sniffled, "Thank you Ruth!", "No worries dear!", "Ruth before you begin packing things up, you don't have too, you can have her back tonight or tomorrow if you want.", "That sounds nice if it's alright with you two, but I guess you would appreciate some time alone to talk and everything, so we'll happily come and pick her up tomorrow again!", "That sounds great, I know she loves being with you two! I won't hold you up any longer, see you soon then", "Yes darling, see you soon!"

You took a deep breath. Wow. This was a rollercoaster.

You were so happy and so appreciative for Ruth and Harold. Brian and Harold haven't always been on great terms but the last year things have been amazing between them and both Harold and Ruth have always been amazing towards you. They are great, amazing! And there is no wonder why Brian is so great.

---

You were in the bedroom and looking for a specific body that Amanda had, knowing that Brian would know exactly when he saw it, when you heard knock on the front door. You quickly ran downstairs and opened to great your baby and parents in law.

"Hi," you both said at the same time as you opened the door. Ruth walked inside first and greeted you with a big smile, embracing you in a hug only a mother could. "You look great!" she happily said as her hands went to your cheeks, you chuckled a bit "Thanks, I don't feel great" you laughed, hoping not to get further questions. Harold stepped inside and handed you your baby girl, oh you had missed her. "Hi baby," you said in a squealing voice before showering her in kisses, making her laugh. Harold walked up to you, and to your surprise leaned in for a hug, he's not a hugging person normally, you gently hugged him and received a happy congratulations wish. "I'm happy for you both," he said, "Thank you so much, Harold," you said and gave him a joyous smile, just as you also felt tears streaming down. "Oh wow, I'm a mess" you laughed as you brushed the tears off. "No worries dear, I was the same when I was expecting Brian" she laughed and Harold agreed, not pleased with the recall of memories. You all broke down in laughs.

You welcomed them inside and as always they made themselves feel at home as you served some tea and biscuits. Ruth was playing with Amanda on the sofa. "Has she taken her nap today?" you asked as you saw how Amanda started to get cranky and sleepy. "No she hasn't, she was about to fall asleep in the car on our way here but we thought it was better to keep her awake so she could sleep here.", "Maybe we should go take a nap, baby girl," you said as you approached them on the sofa. Suddenly, Harold stood up, "I can take her to nap, if that's ok?" he asked, "Yes of course," you said as you walked and picked Amanda up and handed her to Harold. "I'll be upstairs with the bottle in a minute," you said as you walked to the kitchen to prepare the bottle.

---

Amanda was happily asleep upstairs and Ruth and Harold had just left. However, before they left they handed me a little box and you thought that now would be a good time opening it. Inside you could see a yellow shirt, in Amanda's size. When you unfolded the soft material you saw the cutest thing. The shirt had "Promoted Big Sister" embroidered on the front. You chuckled slightly as an idea about how to reveal the news to Brian popped up in your head.

This will be perfect.

---

Amanda was seated in her chair as you finished up the rest of the dinner. For the occasion, you had made Brians favourite dinner.

You had been so distracted by the food that you hadn't heard Brian coming home. You only noticed when Amanda squealed when she saw him entering the large kitchen. You turned around and was treated by a sight that could melt your heart a thousand times over. Brians had picked her up and were showing her with hugs and kisses, making the baby girl let out belly laughs. You felt how you were about to cry but quickly turned around again to brush them away.

Brian put Amanda back in her chair for a moment and approached you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips brushed against your neck and kissed your temple. "Hi" you gently voiced. "Hello, love," he said and kept kissing your cheek. "It smells delicious," he said and placed one last kiss on your ear. "It's your favourite," you said and put down the spatula to turn around and greet him properly. "I noticed, what do I owe the pleasure?" he said as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his hands placed on your waist. "nothing special" you lied. "How was your day?" you asked as you leaned in for a hug, hugging his waist, his hands brushing your back. You could smell his cologne, feel his arms tightening around you. "It was okay, nothing special," he said, his voice low. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. One of his hands stroke some hair behind your ear to then cup your cheek. "How was your day? And why's Amanda home, shouldn't she be at my parents?", "They came to visit earlier and I wanted her home, but she's going back tomorrow," you said as you adored his face. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was like nothing else, your whole body tingled. You felt the excitement again.

The dinner was nothing special. Brian kept complimenting the food, which warmed your heart. Throughout the whole dinner, you just kept adoring the little family you have and the excitement to reveal that one more was on the way kept getting stronger and you were growing impatient.

Amanda played with a rattle toy while you and Brian both cleaned up after the dinner, stealing hugs and kisses here and there.

When the kitchen was done cleaning you honestly felt exhausted, and Brian, being the wonderful husband he is, sensed that. He walked up to you and kissed your forehead as he hugged you. "You go sit down and relax and I'll take care of Manda" he said and kissed you again. "Thank you" you whispered.

Brian kissed you once more and walked excitedly towards Amanda, "Come here baby girl, it's time for jammies" he said as he picked her up and threw her up in the air, making her laugh once again. You felt at peace and happy as you saw them giggling, making their way down to the nursery.

It was getting quite late. You sat down on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful incredible life. And the excitement for the news Brian is left to find out is very much evident.

You couldn't focus on reading the book, you just sat there biting you lip slightly and listening to what was happening in the nursery. You heard Brian talk to Manda and her giggles. Until it all stopped.

Silent took over the house, the only thing you could hear was Mandas joller and the fire in the fireplace.

"Love?" Brian called for you. You didn't answer, you wanted to see his reaction without you interfering to early. "Y/N" he almost shouted. Silence took over again.

Apparently, he grabbed Amanda and the shirt he had discovered and worked to the living room. "What is this?" he said, trying to hide his excitement if it weren't true. "It's a new shirt I bought for Manda" you chuckled. He looked so confused. His eyes went from looking on Amanda, to the shirt, to you. "What?" he blurted out, confusion written all over him. You rose up from the sofa and approached him. He had put Amanda down on the floor as he inspected the shirt.

You walked towards him and when there was almost no space between you he looked up at you, studied your expression. You smiled and took the shirt out of his hands and folded it and put it on the table. You walked up to him again and smiled. He tilted his head a bit, once again showing his confusion. You took his hands and brought them up to kiss them and then placed them gently on your lower stomach to get the message through. He caught on immediately. His eyes widened and he let out a breath. "Ooh my lord" he breathed as he adjusted his hands slightly, his gaze fixated on your belly. You chuckled and once again felt tears forming in your eyes. "I'm pregnant, Brian" you said smiling as the tears ran down your cheeks. He looked up at you and a smile spread across his face, "Really?" he asked as he looked at you. "Yes, I took three tests and all of them was positive".

Brian moved his hands and embraced you in a loving, comforting hug. His head was placed in the curve of your neck, his hands wrapped around you, your hands on his back, feeling his warmth, feeling the soft curls against your cheek. What you discovered next melted your heart. You heard sniffles coming from Brian.

You broke the embrace and looked at him, your hands holding his cheeks, your thumbs brushing away the tears, as more tears streamed from your eyes. You both were crying out of happiness, and soon enough you were both laughing. Brian held your waist, "Oh boy I love you!" he said as he laughed and kissed you. "I love you more" you gently said, looking into his hazel eyes. "Thank you" he then said as a wave of more tears streamed down his rosy cheeks. He leaned his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. "I.. I don't even know what to say. I love you so much and there is no other I'd want to share my life with. You make me happy, you're keeping me on track, you are my universe. I love you so much and I am so grateful for you! You have given me the best gift of live already once, and now again. I... I'm speechless. I love you so much! And I am so excited" he laughed. "I am so excited. Im so excited for all that the future has to bring us. To see Amanda grow up, to see this little bean grow" he placed his hands on your stomach, "I love you, so much!" he started to cry again. This hit you hard. How did you end up with this fantastic man? If only you could show him how much you meant to him so he could really understand.

"Baby, I love you! So much! And I am so happy. I have more than I could ever have asked for. I have a wonderful husband, who's also my best friend. You cheer me up when I'm down, you comfort me when I'm sad, you laugh with me when I'm happy. I am so glad and grateful that I get to share my life with you too. I love you so much it hurts!" you said and kissed his swollen, red lips to then hug him tight.

You were so excited for what the future would bring. You would never want to do this with anyone else. This was perfect.

--------------------

I hope you liked this one! I surely do! If you guys want maybe I could build this story further, maybe to follow them throughout the pregnancy or something? Let me know what you think!

[butwhyduh]

Pregnancy scare with the Batboys?

These all happen at different times in their lives. Dick at 24, Jason 26, and Tim 20 because I feel like that’s the ages they’d like have this.

Warning: it’s gotta little bit of everything. Fluff, smut, convenience story robbery, blood, one little crude sex joke.

Dick

“I stopped at the store and got everything we need before the store comes in. Even got those pad tampon things you use,” Dick said waving the box proudly. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the box.

“And what prompted that?” You asked, eyes narrowed.

“A coupon deal on them,” Dick answered and you laughed.

“That makes more sense. Let me put these up and I’ll cook dinner,” you said, walking to the bathroom.

“Nope! I’m cooking,” Dick said happily.

“Okay,” you said planning to help him anyways.

You walked in the bathroom to put the box in your usual drawer only to find it full. When was the last time you needed one? You did the math and realized that it’s been almost 2 months. With your university schedule being crazy and Dick got hurt a few weeks ago, you’d forgotten all about your period.

You skin chilled at the thought. What if you were- what if you were pregnant? You were too young. You were 24 but it felt too young. You were only dating. You hadn’t gotten to the kids talk yet.

“Hey babe, where is the- what’s wrong?” Dick asked from the doorway. He looked at the package in your hand and the matching one in the drawer with confusion.

“Uh, I missed my period last month,” you said and his eyes widened. “I completely forgot.”

“Oh.”

He looked at you frozen. “Wait- are you saying you might be...”

“Maybe,” you answered. “We gotta get tests and everything. And stress can mess it up. And we’ve been using protection every time.”

“Yeah. I’ll run to the store, okay?” He said before hurrying out the door. You sat on the toilet with the box still in hand. What if you were pregnant? Dick was a good guy but he didn’t exactly have a ton of money. He was a part time gymnastics teacher. You were in college.

“Okay I got 4,” Dick said, back in record time. He gave you the bag and watched you.

“Dick?”

“Hu?”

“Get out of the bathroom.”

“Oh right,” he said, leaving and shutting the door. You could hear him pacing as you took the tests. You unlocked the door as you waited for the tests to finish. A neat little row of absolute terror on the side of the bathtub.

“Are they done?” Dick asked anxiously.

“No. We wait two minutes,” you said almost hollowly with stress and he nodded roughly.

“If you are... I’ll be here. I’ll be here for whatever you decide. No matter your choice,” Dick said holding your hands. You gulped.

“Yeah. Thanks. I can’t believe I forgot,” you said with a little laugh. He hugged your shoulders.

“Things have been crazy,” Dick said with a shrug. Your phone alarm went off and you quickly looked at all of the tests. Negative. You both relaxed. You sighed in relief.

“That would have been crazy,” you said with a laugh. Dick laughed a little too. “I am not ready to be a mom.”

“Yeah. Same. I’d need a better job and a better place. Not that there’s anything wrong with our apartment but it’s too small for a baby,” Dick rambled on. He stopped when he noticed your little grin. “You know, I meant what I said. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you.”

You didn’t answer but pulled him in for a kiss that Dick eagerly returned before finally pulling away because you were in the bathroom surrounded by used pregnancy tests and boxes of menstrual products.

“I’ll clean up while you get dinner started. Yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Dick said with a kiss to your cheek.

Jason

You’d been thinking about it for a few days with a sense of denial. Your period was late. And you were mentally freaking out. You were too young. I mean, you were 26 but it felt too young! Your relationship was too new! You had been dating for 2 years but it felt too fast!

You hurried down to a corner store that you didn’t normally visit near your apartment to grab some tests. You jumped a little when the bell on the door rang as another customer entered the store. You had been too worried and stressed about picking from the 7 different types of pregnancy tests. Were they all the same or totally different? You just wanted to know ‘baby or naw.’ You grabbed three and put them in a hand basket.

“PUT your hands up where we can see them,” a man yelled and you froze before looking up, your hands above your head, basket on your wrist. “Take off any jewelry and pull out your wallets. We’ll be taking those,” a man in a ski mask said. There were a total of 12 customers and 2 shop clerks.

You carefully pulled your crossbody bag off your shoulder and held it out. A man grabbed it roughly from you and you made a tiny noise that made him smile. He looked you over and you wanted to shrink away.

There was a loud crashing noise as the side glass was broken and a man with a pair of guns blazing stood in the middle. The bright red helmet let you know that it was Jason and you almost sagged in relief. Almost. He pointed the gun at both criminals and shot at their knees. The rubber bullets hit them both in the knees and they fell before you could even move. He quickly punched them both in the head and they lost consciousness. Jason roughly tied them up by the register and everyone started to leave the building quickly while grabbing their things.

Jason grabbed you and pulled you from the building and up to the roof, basket still on your wrist. He rolled his helmet off and looked you over.

“Are you alright?” He asked holding your face in his hands. You grasped his wrists.

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” you reassured him. He looked you over before his eyes fell to the basket. Jason froze as he looked at the contents. A candy bar and 3 pregnancy tests.

“Are you? Why do you have these?” He asked, looking at your face quickly. You sat the basket down.

“Maybe,” you answered quietly. His mouth opened a little as if you speak but he didn’t. “I mean, I’m late.”

“Okay. Alright,” he said nodding. “We just need to test first. God, you were almost shot and you might be pregnant.”

He pulled you tightly in his arms until the armor pressed against you. Jason’s lips pressed against the side of your head. For one of the first times, he looked scared.

Back at your apartment, you could hear Jason pacing as you took the test. You unlocked the door and he came in, staring at them. Neither one of you spoke before the results came in. Negative. You breathed a sigh of relief.

“I would have been there for you. No matter what. But I’m glad that it’s negative. We should plan this stuff, you know? My job... it’s too dangerous,” Jason said carefully.

“I know. We can’t,” you said with a dry smile.

“I’d quit. If you were. So that you and the baby would be safe,” he said and you quickly looked at him.

“You shouldn’t have to,” you said.

“But I would.”

Tim

Tim’s hands were tight on your hips as he thrust in your from behind and you couldn’t stop making little noises. God, were you always this tight? He could barely control himself and the second you clamped around him in pleasure, Tim came as well. Both of you panted as he roughly and slowly thrust through your highs. Tim pushed in deeply before stopping to catch his breath and then pulling out.

“Fuck,” he said in a terrified voice. You turned to look at him confused. “The condom came off.”

Your eyes widened at the implication. “Did you- did you finish inside?” You asked as cold panic flooded your body. You were only using condoms at this point in time.

“Yeah. Definitely,” he said, looking down and in literally any other situation he would have loved the sight before him. His cum leaked out of you and Tim winced.

After a few minutes of trying to finally get the useless condom out, you were almost in full freak out. You were only 20. You couldn’t get pregnant!

“I’ll get plan B. Unless you don’t want it,” Tim said looking at you.

“Good idea. We definitely need that,” you said nodding. “But you can’t go to the store and buy plan B. Timothy Drake-Wayne buys plan B. Playboy like his father Bruce Wayne? I could just see the headline. I’ll go.”

“Smart,” he said. You quickly took a shower and threw on clothes before running down to a pharmacy. Your heart pounded as you asked the pharmacist for a plan B but she simply gave you a box that you paid for. You took the pill before even leaving the store and threw away the evidence as if someone cared what you did.

That night you had some nausea and cramping but were fine otherwise. Tim was extra nice in the next few weeks as you both waited to see if your period would ever come. He put in effort to see you more often and stay off his phone when you were together. Finally you woke up one morning with cramps where actually pleasantly happy to see that you had finally started to bleed. That didn’t happen often.

You told Tim who sagged in relief. He didn’t even know how much tension he held in his body before releasing it. He kissed your cheek and you laughed a little.

“Never buying that brand of condoms again,” he swore.

“I’m making an appointment to get birth control,” you said and he quickly turned to you.

“Really? No more condoms?” Tim said hopefully.

“It’ll take a little while to start working but yeah,” you said with a little smile. “Then I can be your Twinkie instead of your toaster strudel,” you laughed.

“Wow. I wish I could time travel to unhear that,” Tim said covering his face with a hand while laughing.

“You know that’s a good joke,” you laughed pushing his shoulder.

“...yeah,” he said with a grin.