aspec-selflove

[aspec-selflove]

yuri from doki doki literature club alloace and gray ace icons because why not ❤️📝💜

[aspec-selflove]

on gray asexuality

the gray ace community is so scattered that there's not really such a thing as 'gray ace culture', and i would argue that our experience and the general ace experience have almost as many differences as they do similarities. plus a lot of even well meaning people misunderstand gray asexuality and don't fully believe it's real.

also, it's ace awareness week! 💜☁️♠️ and i want some awareness! so i'm gonna do this myself i guess! even if i'm kinda scared to open up like that!

here are some gray asexual things. i arranged them into a numbered list. the numbers don't mean anything - it's just easier to digest that way, and if you want to reference something in a response, you can just put the number. if you're not gray asexual, i hope you learn something. if you're gray asexual but you don't relate, that's fine! we're all still different and we're both valid. but if you do relate, please tell me so i feel less crazy. and if you're questioning, maybe this'll be of help in figuring it out! (also keep in mind i'm alloromantic and that colors my experience)

wildly fluctuating between sex repulsed, sex favorable, and sex indifferent

some crushes, even super intense ones, are fully asexual. others aren't. some start out one way and end up another. you might have asexual crushes on aces and sexual crushes on allos. or you might not. everything is different all the time and it's weird.

saying you're ace without the gray part so people don't assume they have a chance with you because let's be real, they probably don't

not saying you're ace at all because you feel like you'd be lying or that it's tmi to bring it up (internalized aphobia hello)

when you do feel sexual attraction it absolutely destroys you because of the contrast with the total absense of it that you feel most of the time. you just never really get used to it. your brain crashes

liking highly stylized or dramatized sex scenes in movies or books but not getting the appeal of porn

as a matter of fact, the buildup/tension is usually more fun than the action

being uncomfortable with the concept of sex in general but much more cool with a few specific acts/kinks

trying to be horny but quickly getting super sidetracked (literally what i'm doing rn! i was in the middle of reading smut when i decided to write this post. now i don't think i'll come back to it)

you heard of asexuality pretty early on, but assumed it couldn't possibly apply to you and continued feeling broken and alienated

saying "they're hot" without really knowing what you mean

being romantically interested in someone and realizing you'd have sex with them while not being sexually attracted to them

being sexually attracted to someone and thinking about them in sexual ways but you can't imagine having sex with them

genuinely having no idea if you're sexually attracted to someone

being freaked out and uncomfy when other people are sexually attracted to you

when you talk about sex you talk about it as if it's something that doesn't at all concern you

you'd be comfy dating a sex repulsed ace person, even if you feel like you might miss out on something

on the other hand, you're scared to date allos because what if you can't keep up with them?

you don't actually know what or who you're into. there are some patterns, but mostly there's not enough info for a decent analysis. maybe you'll figure it out eventually. right now, when you get asked the question, you just gesture vaguely and hope they have the gift of telepathy

seriously you have no idea

it seems so fucking random

being more attracted to clothed people. esp people with a good sense of fashion

some of ya'll can really look at a still image of a naked person and say if you're attracted to them? b- but you haven't gaged the Vibe!

the sexual melds and becomes one with something else to the point where you can easily substitute it (an example for me is certain types of music)

if you did have sex you would probably do it in the dark, speaking in hushed tones, not just for insecurity reasons, though that might also be a factor. the real reason is, bright lights and loud noises might break your desire

it's so fragile, any wrong word or action or thought might break it. you're far easier to turn off than you are to turn on.

not feeling like you fully belong on either side

having the power of invisibility

it took you so long to get here

you really wish people would leave you alone and stop questioning you

to aphobes/exclusionists/anti micro labels: don't even fucking breathe on this post. i will engage in combat with you 🗡️

to my label siblings, happy ace week! remember: the gray stripe is ours.

[aspec-selflove]

[aspec-selflove]

why is your icon chimken nugets

Because chimbken nuggies good :) 

[aspec-selflove]

Sword and Flower Aromantic

for anonymous

[aspec-selflove]

Aromantic versions of the ace phone backgrounds I did! Feel free to use them~

[aspec-selflove]

lith/aro memes: cursed emoji edition

[aspec-selflove]

(Image description: the asexual, aromantic, demisexual, demiromantic, gray-asexual, gray-aromantic, aroace, nebularomantic, acevague, and arovague pride flags with the words “there are more of us than you think!” centered in white text.)

[aspec-selflove]

Society: You can't just stay single and live a life that's completely fulfilled without a romantic relationship!!!

Me:

[aspec-selflove]

[aspec-selflove]

black aces and aros are an important part of this community

Black asexual people. Black aromantic people. Black aroace people. ANY BLACK ACEPEC OR AROSPEC PEOPLE.

You matter to this community

[aspec-selflove]

Meme edit by me

[aspec-selflove]

Hey it’s ace week and you’re local ace has something to say! I’ve been out as ace for 3 years now and it’s still a big part of my identity that I’m proud of so here’s a lil something for those who need it!

[aspec-selflove]

to all my fellow ace specs, you are valid and loved

to all my fellow aro specs, you are valid and loved.

happy ace week!!

[aspec-selflove]

ace_irl

[aspec-selflove]

Read me

Nothing is wrong with asexuals for being asexual.

Nothing is wrong with aromantics for being aromantic.

(More identities under the cut, this post is SPECIFICALLY FOR ASPEC’S, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT OTHER IDENTITIES.)

Nothing is wrong with cupiosexuals for being cupiosexual.

Nothing is wrong with cupioromantics for being cupioromantic.

Nothing is wrong with fictosexuals for being fictosexual.

Nothing is wrong with fictoromantics for being fictoromantic.

Nothing is wrong with lithro/akoisexuals for being lithro/akoisexual.

Nothing is wrong with lithro/akoiromantics for being lithro/akoiromantic.

Nothing is wrong with quoisexuals for being quoisexual.

Nothing is wrong with quoiromantics for being quoiromantics.

Nothing is wrong with aspec’s for being aspec.

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH US. WE ARE NOT BROKEN. WE ARE NOT WEIRD. WE ARE HERE, AND WE DESERVE TO BE ACCEPTED.

[aspec-selflove]

Hey all!

I’m a new account meant to spread around positivity and help with self acceptance/self-love for my fellow aspec’s! 

A reblog/like to share this account around is so appreciated!

My ask box is open as well.