#she's also canonically a massive terror

[butcharondir]

Mr. James is the landlord of The Signet.

What, that pub I forced you to enter?

Pearl Mackie and Sophie Wilde // Tom Jones (2023), Ep. 2

[mixelation]

wait here's a different way the end of the chunin exams in iwa could go

team 4 still does the same stuff: iwa grabs kushina, kushina yeets tori away. tori runs off to get itachi and deidara; the team then splits up to grab both kushina and ibiki. rn i'm thinking tori-deidara go for ibiki. tori wants to go to kushina but itachi is like "no, you're the ONLY one who can do the transportation jutsu for our mission" so the compromise is he goes after kushina. deidara ends up with tori because she needs extra muscle more, even though deidara would be better at FINDING kushina bc he knows iwa better. instead he just sort of points itachi in a direction.

tori by herself can do the transportation jutsu but it will be rougher when executed solo. she deems ibiki's physical condition too poor to risk it. they get him on a bird and fly out.

okay, so, my original idea was itachi finds a half-conscious kushina and gets her out of the village on foot. this is an insane feat he accomplishes with "massive genjutsu means no one notices for a hot second" no jutsu. iwa eventually realizes they've lost their very impotant hostage, which means they are screwed. they decide to blow up the problem to hide evidence (this will look BAD for them but no evidence means they can claim team 4 started it, which is less bad PR than what they actually did getting out). team 4 gets a fight, kushina recovers quickly enough itachi is like what the fuck, ma'am, and they flee into the night safe and sound.

i think i will keep this as ""canon"" bc it lets team 4 have thier moments. but here's a fun little alt au ending feat. minato:

okay, so, in the minato one shot we see kushina summon chains that aren't attached to her body. so i was thinking it'd be cute if minato had a necklace or bracelet made from one of her chains. it's also a ~kushina's health~ indicator: the chain with break/evaporate if she runs low on chakra (which would ONLY happen in a dire situation), or she can undo it herself if she needs to summon him. remember, her jinchuriki seal has a hiraishin integrated into it, so minato can go to her whenever he wants. minato spends a lot of time fiddle with his chain and sighing wistfully when she's out of the village.

then one day, the chain breaks. minato doesn't even think about it; he's by her side 0.2 seconds later. and then.... fuck it i just wrote it lol

****

Kushina was slumped over Uchiha Itachi’s shoulders. Itachi retaliated the second he felt a presence behind him. Minato dispelled all three layers of the genjutsu, knocked the short sword out of his hand, picked up his wife, and shoved Itachi away.  

His goal was to get Itachi away from him for long enough to orient himself. If he’d bothered to watch him, he’d get to watch Itachi’s reaction to being pushed around like a child: confusion mixed with a little bit of terror.

Sagged over in his arms, Kushina’s eyes were unfocused and her face was clammy with a cold sweat. He’d never seen her like this before. 

“M’nato?” she slurred, and Minato felt a wave of relief at the sound of her voice. “Feel like shit.”

If she was talking, she was going to be okay. Minato shifted her, pulling her into a princess carry. Kushina’s head rolled against his chest, and Minato felt a stab of worry. Kushina was a live, but what the fuck had they done to her?

“Hokage-sama?” Itachi asked, voice wary. He had not moved to retrieve his sword. He didn’t need it; all five Iwa-nin in the room were already dead. Minato must have crashed his rescue attempt. 

“You have permission to approach,” Minato told him. “What happened?”

Itachi gave him the succintest of summaries: Kushina and Tori had been intercepted while attempting to retrieve Morino Ibiki. Kushina had gotten Tori out, and Tori had gone for back-up. Itachi had then found Kushina here, in an underground detention facility. Tori reported Kushina as having chakra-poisoning. It was unclear if Iwa suspected them of their own betrayal of their agreement, or if their attack had unrelated motives. Minato thought the latter: there was only one known chakra toxin that could poison someone enough to take out someone like Kushina, and it was extremely difficult to synthesize. This had been planned. 

Minato felt a flash of rage. All that posturing about how he was the dangerous one, how he was the one who might unjustly destroy Iwa’s security, and this is what they did? 

“Okay,” Minato said, very carefully keeping his voice level. “I’ll handle it.”

“Sir?” Itachi replied. “Handle which part?”

“Hold this,” Minato said, and handed him a kunai. 

Minato teleported Kushina back to Konoha and left her with a medic. “Fuck ‘em up, dawling,” she told him, patting a random part of his face. Then he stopped briefly at home to grab weapons. Then, approximately three minutes after he’d left him, he went back to Itachi. 

Itachi, for once in his life, seemed to be at a loss for words. 

“Do you know how to get out of here?” Minato asked. 

Itachi led him down a hallway, up some stairs, and then down another hallway, passing zoned out Iwa-nin after Iwa-nin staring at the walls or passed out on the floor in the wake of Itachi’s genjutsu. Minato paused a couple times to draw Hiraishin markers, just in case. Itachi waited for him without comment. 

“Do you know which way the Tsuchikage’s office is?” Minato asked once they were on the ground floor and he could see sunlight through a window. “I’d like to talk to him.”

“I believe it’s towards the mountains,” Itachi said, “although he might be overseeing events related to the exam.”

Minato hummed.

“What would you like me to do?” Itachi asked when they reached the front doors of the building.

“Go find your team, please,” Minato told him. “Keep that kunai on you.”

Minato tossed a kunai out the door, and then he was off. 

Iwa was prettier than Minato thought it would be. Red mountains towered above them, and the sky felt closer and more open than it did anywhere in Fire Country. Most of the buildings were grand old things, tall and narrow and brushing up against each other with pointed roofs. The roofs were steep; not convenient for ninja travel. The ninja here all went underground when they wanted to be quick and avoid civilians. 

The narrow streets were crowded, people all herded together as they spilled out of the stadium. This didn’t particularly bother Minato; most of them were civilians who didn’t even notice him pass by, one kunai throw after the other. 

The administration building, when he found it, was carved into the mountainside. This was a really impressive use of earth ninjutsu, he would admit. 

There was a sign that said the building was closed to the public today, due to the chunin exams. Minato painted another hiraishin marker under it. 

Lucky me, he thought as his hand moved in quick, practiced strokes. He usually tried very hard not to kill civilians. 

No one expected him, despite the audacity of kidnapping his wife. 

“Excuse me,” he said to the kunoichi at the front desk. “Where is the Tsuchikage’s office?”

“He’s not taking visitors today,” she started, voice sharp and annoyed. Her eyes met his. Confusion flashed across her face. Minato smiled, charming. Confusion drained into horror. 

“That’s a shame,” Minato replied, and then she was dead. 

The building was fully staffed. Chunin exams took a lot of extra hours from admin behind the scenes, and ninja missions never stopped. Minato picked people off, one by one, as he moved through the building. The Kage’s office was usually at the top, right? They didn’t have intel on Iwa, but that’s where everyone else’s were… 

He was quick enough no one had realized what was happening and mounted a counter until he was on floor six. He wasn’t really sure if it was people trying to leave or fight back, but either way they all ended up dead. The entire hallway was sticky with blood, his sandals making that annoying squelching noise as he walked. 

I guess this is why no one ever invites me to their villages, Minato thought. Hiruzen had visited both Suna and Kiri for Chunin Exams. Minato always got a polite note suggesting he send a representative. He was kind of jealous, actually. Minato liked travel and meeting new people. All they had to do was not kidnap his wife and he’d be happy to play nice and not leave hiraishin markers places. 

Oonoki was seated behind his desk, a wall of Iwa ANBU in front of him. Cute. Minato dispatched them in the span of an inhale of breath.

“Hi,” Minato said, standing in front of Oonoki’s desk. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Namikaze Minato, Hokage of Konoha.”

To his credit, Oonoki did not cower. He did not bother with a useless attack. He met Minato’s eyes, gaze steely. 

“Killing me would be an act of war,” Oonoki said grimly. 

Minato raised his eyebrows. “Sure,” he agreed. He leaned forward, letting just a little bit of killing intent out to punctuate his words. ”And so would attacking and kidnapping my wife.”

Oonoki stayed silent. Minato reeled himself back in. 

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Minato said, uncapping another bottle of ink. He went to work drawing a Hiraishin marker on the Tsuchikage’s desk. “I am going to go get my shinobi. I’m going to kill whoever I want along the way. Then I will leave, and we won’t have to talk about this ever again.”

Minato leaned forward, grasping Oonoki’s chin in his hand. It was scratchy with the scraggly hairs of an old man’s thinning beard. Oonoki did nothing to resist him tilting his head back, pride keeping his gaze hard. 

“And you,” Minato continued, pressing his brush to the man’s forehead to draw one last marker, “will do nothing. No declaration of war. No retaliation on Konoha or Fire Country. Got it?”

He pulled his hand back, letting Oonki go. He pocketed the brush. The wet ink of the hiraishin marker glimmered on the old man’s face, a new permanent fixture to his skin. 

“Do you understand?” Minato reiterated. “Say it.”

There was a long silence, stretching on and on between them. Minato kept eye contact, smile pleasant. 

“I understand,” Oonoki said. 

“Excellent,” MInato replied. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

He teleported to the marker he’d given Itachi. 

Team 4 was currently in Ibiki’s holding cell, having an argument. There was an incredible amount of blood everywhere, considering there was only one dead Iwa-nin in there with them. Ibiki himself was sat against the wall, emaciated with two black eyes. New scars decorated his scalp. He watched Team 4 with what was either exhaustion or intense judgment. Horrific evidence of torture aside, his expression perked up when he noticed Minato. 

“No, I can’t do the jutsu solo if you want him to not get brain damage,” Tori was saying, jabbing her finger aggressively into Itachi’s chest. “Either summon the Hokage back or–”

“Hey,” Minato interrupted, and Tori basically jumped out of her skin. 

“Jesus FUCK–”

“I’ll take him back,” Minato announced, and ninety seconds later, Ibiki was in his prepared hospital room and Minato was back in the holding cell. 

“Um,” Tori said. 

“What the fuck?” Deidara said. 

“Oh wow,” Minato said, having noticed the blood splattered on one wall had been painted into words: Can you find them all? with a hiraishin marker below. “Tori, this is mean.”

Funny. But mean. 

The look Tori gave him was vaguely affronted. 

“What’s our exit plan?” Itachi asked. “Are we also teleporting?”

Minato spun a kunai around his finger casually. “I can take you home first,” he said. “But thought I’d walk.”

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[neon-zipperooni]

we ball, assorted headcanons

when amber sugar cookie sees a flower to collect pollen and nectar from, his bee instincts kick in and he goes "bzzzzzz" and starts flying over there and nobody can stop him until he attains the nectar

for people matcha cookie cares for, she'll sometimes randomly appear at 3AM with gifts for them

pure vanilla cookie is trying to keep up with the youth's slang, much to the misfortune of anyone around him (bonus points if you hc pure vanilla and dark cacao as married like i do so dark cacao just dies a little on the inside every time his husband says the word "swag"), PV is also good friends with millennial tree cookie and the slang is starting to rub off on him too. oh no.

sea fairy cookie and moonlight cookie are the mothers of the five mermaid sisters as well as abyss monarch cookie, thus making stardust cookie an uncle

dino-sour cookie is trans (FtM) and when he came out sour belt IMMEDIATELY got to work sewing some masculine clothes for him

also pond dino cookie is dino-sour's adoptive child and i will die on this hill

shadow milk cookie hates jukebox musicals, but otherwise the man LOVES musicals and can and will break into a musical number while terrorizing people, despite being a twisted freaking cycle path whatever sane part of him is left wants to catch up on all the plays and musicals he missed while sealed away

if you throw down bird seed any of the birdlike or bird adjacent cookies (wind archer, blue slushy, red panna cotta, sugar swan, crowberry, stardust, golden cheese, smoked cheese, etc.) would feel the urge to fly/walk over and. peck peck the bird seed

dark choco cookie is touched starved and surprisingly easily flustered

milk cookie is very physically affectionate and gives really good hugs and is even MORE easily flustered (darkmilk is my roman empire)

twizzly gummy cookie took her band of misfits to the barbenheimer premiere

the beast cookies experience massive culture shock when they see the modern cookie world, it's like showing an iphone to your grandparents

okay mermaid's tale spoilers in this one kinda so look away if you haven't seen it yet and this one is more of a rejection of canon than a headcanon but the mermaid sisters, especially crimson coral, were NOT all like "well at least she got the strength she wanted to protect the seas now she'll be okay" they were utterly devastated at what white pearl cookie had become barely resembling the kind mermaid she once was, crimson coral sometimes contemplates swimming over there to see her again but she has to keep the other tearcrown residents safe (they didn't seem nearly as fazed as they should've been imo)

[msweebyness]

Akuma AU- The Villain Class

Here it issss! The formal introduction to my new villainous AU, where all the kids are their akuma selves!

Here’s the rundown: Paris is split into two sides, dark and light. The dark side regularly terrorizes the light, though a resistance tries to fight them. All people on the dark side are akumas, so all the kids’ families are. The deal is: you don’t get a supervillain name until you prove yourself and demonstrate your power to do harm and cause chaos, and most akumas are just content to be evil but otherwise normal people. The akuma class are like the ‘gifted’ class of Dark Paris, everybody knows these guys. I’ll also be expanding on some of their powers! Also, they wouldn’t be their ugly and fashion-backward canon akuma looks. I REALLY like the akuma redesigns for the Scarlet Lady AU by Zoe-oneesama, so imagine them in something like that! Alright, let’s get into it! @artzychic27 @imsparky2002

Miss Fortune (aka Marinette Dupain-Cheng): Born with the power to inflict terrible luck and pain on whoever she pleases by way of her hexes and anti-charms, Marinette is a girl who has more than a couple screws loose. She adores seeing people get hurt and actively goes out of her way to make things go wrong in every way possible. Serving as the class’ unofficial leader, Marinette often takes the helm when they go out to terrorize Paris. As dark as her heart is, Marinette adores her partners and family and would do anything to keep her friends safe.

Chat Blanc (aka Adrien Agreste): Wielding the power to destroy anything he pleases with a flick of his wrist, Adrien is not someone you want to cross for any reason. Just like 1/3 of his partners, Marinette, he lives for seeing chaos and pain, especially when he can make it as big a show as possible. He’s known to taunt and mock the people he terrorizes with cruel jokes just to add a little further humiliation. Despite being evil, he’s normally a jovial guy…unless you make the mistake of making him angry. Let’s just say it’s a bad idea to bring up his father.

Lady WiFi (aka Alya Cesaire): Wielding the power to control the world around her as if it were a livestream, Alya boasts a massive amount of power over the digital world and as such, rules the media of Paris with an iron fist! Serving as Marinette’s right hand woman, Alya makes sure her bestie’s orders are carried out without question and broadcasts their victories to spread fear in the light side of Paris. It’s useless to try and hide anything from her, Alya has surveillance in every corner of Paris and uses this to the advantage of herself and her class. She also adores her boyfriend Nino, and is quite protective of her sisters.

Bubbler (aka Nino Lahiffe): While Nino’s powers, creating bubbles that serve various functions, may not seem threatening at first glance, this villainous DJ is not one to be messed with. He’s a master of making people feel at ease before he strikes and causes as much chaos as possible, alongside his friends and girlfriend. Nino is fond of throwing parties and knows how to give his fellow villains a good time, but heaven help you if you’re a good citizen who wanders in. Like his bro Adrien, he’s a chill guy most of the time, until something sets him off and he goes full villain.

Queen Wasp (aka Chloe Bourgeois): Hosting quite possibly the biggest ego of any of the fledgling villains, Chloe wields the power to make anyone stung by her beloved wasps obey her every command, often to do degrading tasks. Almost seeing fitted to her powers, Chloe has a rather imperious attitude and expects people to do what she tells them to when she tells them to do it, and can be more than a little arrogant. However, she also has a soft spot for her best friend Sabrina and sister Zoe, and will eviscerate anyone who messes with them. If you value your freedom, don’t cross this queen.

Vanisher (aka Sabrina Raincomprix): Given the power of fading into the background like no one else can, Sabrina’s ability to become invisible and/or intangible gives her a major edge in the battles against the heroic citizens. Sabrina is a vindictive young woman who loves to use her powers to find people’s secrets and then exploit them to her own benefit. She’s also fond of pulling pranks and watching her best friend Chloe order her minions around, which she finds endlessly amusing. Always make sure to check your surroundings around this one!

Gamer (aka Max Kante): Max’s formidable powers allow him to bring video games into the real world, corrupting reality around him into whatever he would like it to be. Considering himself to be intellectually superior to the common rabble of Paris, Max enjoys using his technology to drive people to the brink of madness, knowing they don’t have the capacity to fight back. His arrogance in his intelligence can sometimes make him come off as a know-it-all to his friends, but he’s loyal anyway. His ingenuity makes him a valuable asset to the class.

Timebreaker (aka Alix Kubdel): Alix’s powers allow her to steal time from the people around her in order to accelerate her own speed, and if she gathers enough, she can reverse the flow of time. A reckless lover of chaos if ever there was one, Alix loves to speed around causing as much confusion, damage and panic as possible. She has a special love for getting under people’s skin and causing them to lash out, only to knock them flat on their backs. While mischievous, she’s a loyal friend who will take a hit for someone she cares about. Keep clear of this speed demon’s path.

Dark Cupid (aka Le Chien Kim): Kim’s power over the heart cannot be denied, though it’s not the power to spread love. Whoever gets hit by his arrows is overcome by hatred and anger. A bruiser at heart, Kim loves to stir up arguments and get fists flying whenever he can, almost as much as he loves causing drama in the relationships of others, replacing happiness with animosity. Despite this, he cares deeply for his friends and especially his girlfriend, Ondine, with whom he shares a passionate love that they love to flaunt to others. You better run fast, because he always shoots true.

Princess Fragrance (aka Rose Lavillant): Rose’s powerful and toxic perfume can do a myriad of wicked things, but it’s most prominent ability is to turn anyone who breathes it in into a dutiful servant of the princess. Though she’s not above a good poisoning every now and again. Rose doesn’t see most people as ‘people’ so much as drones meant to serve her and her friends’ purposes. After all, are some not made more powerful than others? It’s towards only her friends and her beloved Juleka, who she treats like a queen, that she shows a more loving side. All bow to the princess!

Reflekta (aka Juleka Couffaine): Juleka’s wicked transformation powers are a thing to be feared should you ever cross her in any way, she can reflect her thoughts to turn you into whatever she pleases! A malevolent trickster at heart, she loves to put people in the most inconvenient and dangerous situations she can when she transforms them. She also has a habit of transforming into something frightening to scare people, an activity often engaged in when hanging out with Mylene. Despite her pranking nature, she’s fiercely protective of those she cares about, especially her girlfriend Rose and brother Luka. Don’t trust the image you see in the mirror!

Horrificator (aka Mylene Haprele): One of the most terrifying villains in the whole menagerie, Mylene possesses the two-fold ability of not only finding your worst fear and producing it, but growing in strength and power from the fear she garners from you! She takes great delight in the mental anguish she can cause her victims and relishes nothing more than the sound of screams, and loves to give the occasional spook to her friends and her beloved boyfriend as well. Surprisingly, she also has a strong motherly side and will often comfort them when needed. Make sure you check under your bed with this one around.

Stoneheart (aka Ivan Bruel): A villain whose strength cannot be overstated, Ivan’s massive frame and physical matter made of solid stone make him functionally indestructible, more so when you add the fact that any blow dealt to him only increases his already tremendous size and strength. With a quick temper and massive brawn to back it up, Ivan enjoys nothing more than some head bashing and property destruction when he goes out to terrorize Paris. Despite this, he’s very protective and gentle with those close to him, especially his girlfriend and his little sister. Think twice before trying to rile this guy up.

Evillustrator (aka Nathaniel Kurtzberg): Nathaniel’s powerful sketchpad allows him to bring whatever dastardly things he might wish to draw to life to attack his enemies or cause general mischief. Something of an unpredictable and unhinged creative type, Nathaniel is always conjuring up new weapons, beasts and means of torment on the fly, laughing maniacally as he uses them to terrorize good citizens alongside his villainous classmates. He especially loves drawing tributes to his boyfriend Marc, who he’s devoted to above all else. An artist can be a fickle thing!

Special Additions:

Syren (aka Ondine Rivas): Ondine’s tears pack more of a wallop than most girls, given that with them she can flood the city as well as control any source of water in her range. Vindictive and manipulative, Ondine loves to trick unsuspecting citizens into sinking into the watery depths with her charming voice and wiles, seeing them thrash and struggle to stay afloat. She can also be a bit unstable, her moods fluctuating unpredictably, though she is generally kind and supportive with her friends. She has a bit of a playful streak and especially loves teasing her beloved prince, Kim, and they are never shy with affection. Steer clear of the deep water, you never know what’s lurking!

Silencer (aka Luka Couffaine): Luka’s power to silence those he doesn’t like is menacing because it doesn’t just wear off when he leaves, he can permanently steal someone’s voice! He also has the power to manipulate sound as a whole. A reserved and stoic individual, Luka prefers to let his powers do the talking for him when he’s wreaking havoc across Paris, smiling serenely as he tears apart entire blocks with sonic blasts. He serves as a steadying presence for his partners, sister and classmates, reminding them to look before they leap and serving as a source of advice. The sound of danger is approaching quickly!

Riposte (aka Kagami Tsurugi): No blade on earth can rival the power of the ones Kagami summons, which can slice through anything without a problem. Which, combined with her icredible speed and agility, makes for a powerful enemy. Cold and cruel with no concern for anyone outside of her friend circle, Kagami relishes the feeling on causing her opponent a world of pain and subjecting them to the crushing humiliation of defeat. This also makes her a bit of a sore loser. Despite her icy demeanor, Kagami has a caring side with her friends and partners, and will protect them at any cost. She’s a cut above the rest!

Reverser (aka Marc Anciel): Marc’s powers are as confusing as they are terrifying, with the ability to turn people against their own natures, to become their polar opposite once his paper airplanes touch them. Unpredictable and chaotic, Marc loves nothing more than to turn Paris upside down and leave everyone in a maddened state of despair. He’s not even above using his powers to mess with his friends, though he does care for them. His greatest joys are spending time with his boyfriend Nathaniel and teaching his young brother Kiran (aka Sandboy) the ways of villainy. You never know what you’ll get with this guy!

Sole Crusher (aka Zoe Lee): Zoe’s shoes aren’t a pair you would ask to borrow if you have any sense. Anyone she crushes under her heel adds to her size and strength as she terrorizes Paris. Having more than a bit of a superiority complex, Zoe wants everyone to know how much better than them she and her friends are, and is willing to crush them underfoot for that to happen. Perhaps that’s why she gets along so well with her sister. She also might have feelings for a certain akuma in her class, though both have yet to admit it. Step out of the way or get stepped on.

Zombizou (aka Caline Bustier): The villain class’ nefarious teacher, with the power to hypnotize and zombify people with a kiss from her magic lip balm. She adores her students and enjoys teaching them to be the most vile villains they can possibly be. She’s able to turn anything into a lesson about doing evil, and especially loves taking them into the field for some hands-on experience. She’s also fiercely protective and if anyone messes with her kids, there’ll be hell to pay!

And there you have it, folks! The possible first set of Wicked Kiddies! Leave your thoughts in the comments and reblogs!

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 10 Thoughts: History Lessons

What an episode. I'd love to do a bit of preamble up front but there is a load to talk about. No one needs me to ramble before the ramble. This will be a long one so buckle in, kids.

Spoilers for episode 10 below the cut.

Another episode that jumps straight into the incident. I really enjoyed this one. Both for its novel format and also for the way it lays the foundations of what's to come. It's also nice to see an incident that is mostly mundane. There was very little in this, outside of an allusion to something more sinister, that was out of the ordinary. A fairly British dude telling a unique British story. However, I don't think there is an awful lot to say here that isn't quickly expanded upon later in the episode or that won't be best served talking about elsewhere.

So let's get to the more interesting bit of this case. For those of you not from here, or a little too young to remember, the reason it's all so authentically British is because Mr. Bonzo is TMP's version of Mr. Blobby. A very real TV show mascot from the 90's. A lot of what was just discussed in that interview is lifted from Mr. Blobby's real history. He first appeared on a Saturday night variety show called Noel's House Party in its "Gotcha" segment. He was first introduced as a children's TV character to prank unsuspecting celebrities. He got very popular and became a mainstay of the series, became a huge icon at the time, launched a fairly massive range of merchandise, plans to create a Mr. Blobby theme park happened, and he even had a chart topping single. Blobby was a big deal and still pops up a fair amount. He didn't do any murders that we know of, and no one dressed as him to kill either. There is also this which I think everyone should watch to better prepare themselves for Mr. Bonzo, or to soothe the horrors he's already inflicted.

Colin's back! He's still weird! Not much to say here but it's nice to see him and Celia interact.

Next up were hear Alice and Sam, via Sam's phone, exploring the damp ruins of the Magnus Institute. There isn't a whole lot to say in this portion of their exploration but it's nice to see them outside of work again.

Gwen's section of this episode was really the standout IMO. Anusia is killing it and continues to kill it more and more each episode. I think Gwen is now my #2 blorbo. Colin had an early lead with a great email but is more of a background character at the moment. I am really excited to see how Gwen is going to react to this down the line. Whether the abject terror of meeting Bonzo is going dissuade her from pursuing Lena's job or further stoke that fire. I also wonder if she's going to assume what a lot of us are assuming. That the more recent Bonzo related murders are perpetrated by Bonzo, and that the envelope she gave him was his next target, which further plays into the golem references. Can't wait to hear more about what his role is in regards to the OIAR.

But no one could possibly replace Mr. Bonzo as #1 and I'm sure we can all see why this episode. Just everything about how he's being handled is perfect. A lot of history to ground him, incredibly ambiguous origins, his teeth are not soft, topped off with one of the most impactful "screen presence" of the entire TMA cast. Everything I was hoping for.

For those not a part of the ARG, and not a part of the Statement Remains discord server for it, Mr. Bonzo quickly became a massive fixture of basically everything that happened on that server. It's where my blog's name is from. Which is to say Mr. Bonzo has been a HEAVILY anticipated character and has had no small amount of hype built up around him. RQ have managed to deliver on that and then some. It's really pretty amazing he's managed to show up and not be a disappointment if you were part of that crowd, but they really pulled it off.

Bonzo Fact: Did you know that Mr. Bonzo is entirely unique in all of TMA? He's the only character to have a canonical design. He's the only character we can truly behold, and his visage is glorious and awe-inspiring. He is, quite literally, more real than any other character in the show. (Ignoring historical characters we never met)

I'm sure lots of you will have seen what Mr. Bonzo looks like but for those who haven't and have missed it on my posts, it's this.

If you checked out the links earlier, which you should have, you'll see that he's very close to Mr. Blobby. And, yes, he is kinda creepy if you're grossed out by weird mascots but he's not "Oh my god!" levels of horrifying. That's the original Mr. Bonzo, Mr. Bonzo the suit, not Mr. Bonzo the monster. This is who Gwen met.

Which really raises a rather interesting question; when did the suit stop being just a suit? Which in turn raises a more interesting one; why did the suit stop being just a suit? It's pretty clear that Mr. Bonzo really did start off as something mundane but whatever he is now very clearly isn't.

After all that excitement we return to Alice and Sam fumbling about in a ruin. Interestingly we're no longer listening through their phone, but a tape recorder. Which is actually a fairly big deal. Not because it's a TMA thing but because it's an analogue format that's not being digitised. So far that's not been something we've been able to listen through. Which means "Freddy" has some tricks up its sleeves, or "Freddy" isn't the one listening. The actual contents of this part isn't terribly important for the most part. Archivist's office, worms and trapdoors for an allusion to TMA, mystical symbols maybe, lots of books, etc. The real revelation here is "why they chose us… why they didn’t choose me". Likely confirming that the contents of CHDB (see masterdoc) was mostly the first step. Sam "failed" and wasn't chosen for whatever came next. It also likely confirms that Gerry wasn't chosen either as the two had remarkably similar test scores. Anyway, after that they call it quits and head on home.

Now, if you weren't reading the transcript's you'll have missed the introduction to a new character, [Error] played by Beth Eyre who voiced Lucia Wright from MAG 130: Meat. As Alice and Sam leave a padlock rattles on a trapdoor before a key twists and the lock pops open. The trapdoor opens and [Error] emerges. Very very little to really say here. Imprisonment below the Institute probably isn't a good sign, and they're the likely immortal overarching villain of either this season, or the show in general. But combined with strange PoV on those events, what was likely a mystical prison, and it being under the Institute that was burned down for a reason it's not good news. Unless it was burned down to free them, then who knows.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet (I added the Magnus Institute's child psych eval. sheet to it)

Somewhat notably here CAT1RB2275 is also very close to the trailer's case number of CATIRB2275.

DPHW Theory: 2275 is actually a pretty interesting number. For clarity this refers to only the initial recording that Celia heard, not anything related to Mr. Bonzo beyond that. 2 in Death is pretty reasonable as the statement brings the subject of murders up but doesn't dwell on them much. 2 in Pain falls under the same explanation. The 7 in Helplessness tracks well too because not only was the format of the interview a bit of a gotcha, but the content dealt heavily with imprisonment. Both in context to the show's premise and the legacy's impact upon his life. It was also eerie and weird and mascot-centric which is good Weird fodder.

The reason this is all so interesting is because it's possible this is an entirely mundane incident that still happens to line up well with the DPHW of Mascot (Kids). What occurred in the interview didn't seem supernatural, what was described in it also seemed mundane. It's only really the last couple of lines that hint towards something supernatural occurring but notably none of that happens in this recording itself, the details of it discussed, nor are any of the people on the recording first hand witnesses to those events and retelling them. But despite all of that the mundane occurrences of the interview still heavily reflect the supernatural ratings of the section (subsection).

CAT# Theory: CAT1. [Insert your favourite screaming reaction GIF here.] I've got no clue what to make of CAT#'s at this stage. This one wasn't particularly elucidating. Gonna be a long few weeks.

There are a couple of theories floating about that I'll briefly mention because someone will do it if I don't. The Subject/Agent/Catalyst theory presumes a lot of stuff about the OIAR I don't think holds up, and assumes they're happy to throw away information which I don't think they are. See here for more. The Person/Place/Object theory overlooks that Dolls (Watching) is CAT2, and not a place, and that Agglomeration (Miscellany) is about a collection of objects despite it taking place at Hilltop. A location only important to us listeners. If you do like those theories by all means keep liking them. I'm just not convinced by them and it seems prudent to mention that I have seen them.

R# Theory: B is right in line with what I outlined last week. Bonzo-themed murders are not overtly supernatural but they are something that definitely happened. The Klaus doc also have a few incidents with the note "Mr. B", including the only known S rank. With Gwen's reaction being so strong I think it's a good indicator that S rank's follow the pattern.

Header talk: Mascot (kids) -/- murder is just another header that seems pretty weird. The section (subsection) bit is all pretty normal but that crosslink again shows that crosslinks have very little structure to them. I'm starting to wonder if they're actually relevant at all, or pre-assigned like other elements are. They're starting to seem more and more like vibes than anything.

[what-immortal-hand-or-eye]

so what I'm getting is that everyone in trigun has the 'tism yes

yes extremely. Like so many of the characters are silly with the 'tism, but the core cast is the most noticeable.

From canon:

Vash is Gunsmoke's resident masking champion 150 years running but on his own his Mr. Flat Affect No Emoting. His big Vash expressions are typically during Sillytime (tm) when he has to burn off energy. He's like a weird cat. Also literally canonically so beholden to his own internal rules that it causes problems for other people.

Meryl is so bad at expressing and communicating her emotions but by GOD she will get her job done. She makes a goal and then runs directly at it, and will let nothing stand in her way. Has set ideas about How Things Should Go, and gets visibly frustrated when that doesn't happen.

Milly is the one who can read other people, and does so EXTREMELY well, but doesn't know the best times to express her thoughts. This results in the funniest cold-reads of the series. She's the kind of person to listen to you talk for 15 minutes and say "Wow! I bet you were really into Homestuck in 2014! What's your tumblr username?" but with zero malice.

Wolfwood tends to just say shit without thinking about what it sounds like or how it will be interpreted, again generally without malice. Resting Autism Face, big emotions default to anger (he gets the Rages), very strong sense of justice.

Knives has hyperempathy (massive pain and terror over discovering Tesla. In Trimax he literally blacks out for a week) and absolutely no emotional regulation. He feels every emotion at 100% intensity every single time.

No one here is neurotypical.

[t4tozier]

boredom cure coming through via me requesting any thoughts you have on starbreaker, specifically what are your takes on their like. wild ass personality quirks they each unlock about the other after a certain period of time. if that makes sense.

(also, unrelated, but I'm watching succession right now, currently halfway through season 2, and fully understanding so many more of the posts I've seen about it. oh boy it sure is a SHOW.)

WOOO another succer enters the villa. you and my mom are watching at the same time you should text each other <3 feel free to pop in my asks or dms at any point w additional thoughts.

okay yes this does make sense. i’ll do more canon adjacent in a sec but first you get a got it bad fact that you didn’t ask for because she’s on my mind <3 semi related because jace doesn’t find this out until he starts sleeping over. porter has night terrors and sleepwalks. jace screams so loud it actually wakes porter up the first time he opens his eyes in the middle of the night to see porter standing over him with a dead-eyed stare. fun fact chap 5 was supposed to have an extra scene with maverick laying on porter’s chest to ground him and keep him from getting up in the middle of the night but i forgot while i was writing it because the park scene ended up being the main focus and by the time i remembered about it i had already posted it. sad.

okay canon-ish quirks. hm thinking thinking. porter’s incredibly anal (ha) about where his shit goes. like he’s got one side of the bathroom counter and jace has one side. jace has his section of the closet (his is bigger since porter just wears gym clothes 95% of the time) but his clothes better not start getting mixed up with porter’s shit. jace can be a little…absentminded about where he puts stuff down. he’s very much an “controlled chaos” kind of guy. it drives porter crazy.

i’ve def said this before so i’ll give you two jace ones but he listens to true crime podcasts to go to sleep. idk if this is a quirk per se but he listens to them out loud because earbuds hurt his ears if he’s laying on them all night. which means porter has to lay in bed next to him at night, wide awake for at least an hour after he falls asleep, listening to solace’s most gruesome crimes covered by a girl with an annoying voice. he starts putting jace’s fantasy spotify on a timer because jace is out like a fucking light within 5 or so minutes of getting into bed.

a quirk of jace’s that porter actually finds oddly endearing is that he has an app where he keeps track of all his clothes. how much they were. how often he wears it. pictures so he can easily create fits. now porter appreciates a simple wardrobe. but part of that is bc he can’t be bothered to come up with outfits every day. it’s just easier to throw on some form of plain t shirt and gym shorts or joggers. but he knows jace prides himself on his appearance and fashion sense, and at the same time gets overwhelmed when he has too many options. so even though jace has a massive closet, so big that he needs an app to even remember everything he owns, porter thinks it’s kind of cute and funny that of course this is the one thing he can always count on jace to have organized.

[ruvviks]

HIIIIIIII BONES what faction(s) does tiberius join? and which companions is he closest with? :]

HIII EZRA THANK YOU SO MUCH :] this got insanely long because i have. so much to say about this game it's unreal i'm very sorry in advance. but hope you enjoy ^_^

so in my canon of fallout 4, there's a couple of things different from the game because i personally don't think of tiberius as a leader in any sort of way, mainly because he's like. 23 years old. that's a literal baby. he was only born yesterday fresh out of the freezer

so!! that means that the minutemen are already very much established in the commonwealth again when he emerges from the vault, and there's a lot of sprawling settlements to be found in places where you'd otherwise have to build them yourself in game; so sanctuary isn't abandoned at all, and tiberius returns to his sister's home with a special surprise waiting for him (every other house in the neighborhood is now home to a bunch of strangers centuries into the future! welcome home boy!)

that said, tiberius DOES end up sort of joining the minutemen?? but not officially. he meets preston in sanctuary who helps him get settled in in this new and strange world and in return to show his gratitude tiberius helps out wherever and whenever he can, but considering the path of revenge he's about to go on he doesn't really consider himself good enough of a person to like. fully be part of it if that makes sense?? especially since the minutemen aim for as much peaceful resolution of things as possible, and he is not like that :(

tiberius massively dislikes diamond city, and feels a lot more at home in goodneighbor. he does some mercenary work there for a while and that's also how he ends up with the railroad, which he Does officially join :] a bunch of my other fallout ocs are also railroad agents; max, who's also general of the minutemen (don't ask how she finds the time to juggle all these different jobs she doesn't know it herself either); magnus, who's a goodneighbor guard; and nikolai, an ex-raider who now does a bunch of stealth operations for the railroad. tiberius takes his job as agent very seriously and through his new connections becomes more involved with the minutemen as well, now that he knows the two work together to give escaped synths a new and safe home and such :]

he does NOT join the brotherhood of steel. he hates them so fucking much it's unreal. to him they're literally just invading the commonwealth with the way they're terrorizing settlements and forcibly establishing their own outposts and whatnot and it causes a lot of chaos everywhere which is NOT ideal at all. max is handling most of the situation but she's clearly under a lot of pressure and it makes tiberius want to blow some shit up. which he eventually does when everything has escalated so far that there's not really another way to deal with it anymore

he only joins the institute to infiltrate them for the railroad, and he is NOT having a good time during it. he dislikes shaun (his nephew, not his son!) so fucking much but there's nothing he can do about it. i'm trying to make the institute a bit more interesting but it's still a work in progress because well the game leaves a lot to be desired on that front to me personally but either way, the whole place makes him super paranoid and he quickly realizes that it's a LOT bigger than what it's making itself out to be. the area he's allowed to be in seems just a little bit too well-organized and streamlined as if it's all pre-programmed and he constantly feels like he's being watched. which he is! because he ends up finding proof of a lot more levels that go much deeper into the ground and while a lot of them seem to be abandoned, he does end up finding evidence that there's more people holed up Somewhere. and they're watching everything that's happening in the area of the institute he's allowed to be in. it's all part of something bigger and he does NOT like that shit

lastly, tiberius ends up with the children of atom :] kind of against his will?? but also he's not really being forced to stay so it's kind of a gray area really. basically what happened is that he went to the glowing sea, ended up passing out because he went by himself like the stubborn mf he is and the children of atom take them to their crater to nurse him back to health but also give him like. some sort of special radiation cocktail of some sort which ends up making him a bit of a freak. much more resilient, much more absent as well, a bit faster than he used to be. he's basically their chosen one because i feel like out of all factions it'd make most sense for the children of atom to be weirdly obsessed with him like he's a perfectly preserved human from before the war. that IS kinda fascinating

either way tiberius doesn't really mind being part of them all that much because it puts him in like a negotiator position if that makes sense?? the other factions all have their other touching points where he isn't all that needed to create connections and stuff but having this extra connection with the children of atom who are mostly feared by the rest of the commonwealth helps a LOT with keeping peace and all that, so it's beneficial for all parties involved because it also means that tiberius can just freely enter any of their outposts and he can rely on them if he needs them for anything :] the children of atom are a lot more willing to assist him with something that may be a bit shady than the minutemen or railroad would basically so it's a good backup to have LMAO

as for companions, tiberius is closest with preston 100% :] when he emerged from the vault, preston was the first person who talked to him and didn't treat him as a possible threat, and he helped him get settled in which tiberius will always be grateful for because he was so so scared. and preston made everything a little bit easier. he's very caring and patient and matches tiberius' funnyman energy surprisingly well when they're joking around, which would all remind tiberius a lot of his sister stella. preston Would in fact be like a brother to him :]

he enjoys hanging out with piper and nick, but only sparingly so since those two just love to investigate stuff and a lot of their time hanging out ends up turning into business of some sort and tiberius does NOT have the detective's spirit! he likes being clueless. he does not always need to know everything. he does like tagging along but sometimes he just wants to SIT and have a beer or something

which, naturally so, makes hancock better company for him. tiberius did a couple of gigs for him personally (and got to know him much more intimately during a wild night with both him and magnus but we don't talk about that) and he likes to stop by goodneighbor regularly for a drink and to talk about shit that's been going on lately. since magnus and hancock are together, magnus is there a lot as well but tiberius sees him a lot more regularly at the railroad too :]

that being said, the railroad is definitely tiberius' main hub for hanging out with people he loves the gang SO much. his best friends there would be nikolai, glory (she's alive yes obviously), deacon, and tinker tom :] and also max but tiberius sees her a LOT more at the castle since that's by the end of the in-game events also a place he can be found at a lot. he doesn't take a lot of minutemen jobs but he does help out on location with whatever they need, plus the castle is a huge and busy marketplace which would be super fun to visit (especially at night) so he just likes hanging out there in general! that's also where he hangs out with cait and roxy (max' wife) whenever he gets the opportunity

tiberius' relationship with x6-88 is. strained. on a surface level he likes the guy, but his loyalty to the institute definitely gets in the way of their friendship a lot at first. i haven't entirely figured out yet how to like, get x6-88 on tiberius' side in a satisfying way that doesn't feel out of character for him?? but that's basically what i'm aiming for, because the two DO spend a lot of time together away from the institute itself which would give tiberius a lot of opportunities to show x6 what the commonwealth is really like. and what the institute's reputation is and all that. and with x6 getting attached to tiberius during all of that he WILL be forced to pick a side at the end of it all. and i personally don't think he would side against tiberius after spending all that time building up an actual friendship for the first time in his life

surprisingly enough, tiberius and maccready did NOT!!! get along well at first AT ALL. when tiberius was taking gigs in goodneighbor he was unbeknownst to him stealing away a lot of mac's clientele so naturally mac has very one-sided beef with him. especially because both of them are like. babies. i can't remember maccready's exact age but that's a baby. and tiberius is one too. and they're both competitive and kinda stupid so when they first "officially" meet there's this insane tension between the two of them and every conversation they have is just a pissing contest. they've been kicked out of goodneighbor together on at least one occasion because of their near screaming competitions

(at some point after the battle of bunker hill and tiberius has temporarily broken ties with the institute because shaun's attitude pissed him the fuck off he goes to goodneighbor with his friends and after a drink or two too many he agrees to a bet maccready makes with him about killing elder maxson. tiberius succeeds by knocking out a brotherhood pilot and pretending to be the pilot instead, sort of successfully flying a vertibird up to the prydwen, somehow knocking out a guy in full power armor to then steal said guy's power armor, killing elder maxson (who by then has committed enough war crimes including but not limited to laughing max in the face when she tried to talk to him about a possible collaboration in hopes to keep the peace in the commonwealth) with a pipe pistol, and then jumping down(!!!!!!!!!) in the power armor to make his escape by walking over the bottom of the ocean on the shoreline in the power armor. he brought the guy's coat and dogtags with him as proof. maccready was turned on and angry about it)

but after traveling together for a while, tiberius and maccready learn they have a lot more in common than they initially thought and they grow closer over time :] i adjusted mac's story as well by making lucy his older sister rather than his wife (HE'S A BABY. HE DOESN'T NEED A WIFE AND A CHILD IN THIS ECONOMY) and duncan his nephew, so it's still a direct parallel to tiberius' story except lucy is still alive but missing, whereas stella is in fact very much dead. at first it makes tiberius feel frustrated and upset in a very selfish way, but it helps him with like, allowing himself to grieve for the first time since he exited the vault which by then is a LONG time ago, and then it also helps him with moving on from it rather than staying stuck in the past. helping mac with curing duncan and finding lucy helps the both of them and after all that they end up getting together :]

SO YEAH. very bumpy road for tiberius all in all and he makes connections in a bunch of different places, but he's always just a gear in the machine rather than the one operating the machine if that makes sense :] he feels a lot more at ease when he can actually make a difference at his own pace rather than having everyone look up to him constantly, the closest he got to that was when he was the one to infiltrate the institute and he has NEVER been that stressed before in his life. he makes it out alive and relatively unharmed but good lord. he's never doing that shit ever again

[skywlker-sluvtt]

commander wolffe (loml<3) ⛓️

oh my lawdddddd i have so many dirty wolffe headcanons you're not ready 😩

commander woffe x afab!reader 18+ below the cut emoji ask game

⛓️ kinky headcanon

✧ okay so this is basically canon for wolffe but he's like hella dominant in the bedroom, bdsm and all that's the shit that gets him going.

✧ he's into almost anything you can think of gagging, bondage, degrading, slapping, choking, temperature play. the actual question is what isn't wolffe into?

✧ i think he'd be a really good dom too because he likes pushing you to where you're comfortable and is super cautious trying new things. he would never actually harm you and is good at setting boundaries and following them. he always makes sure to check in on you during sessions to check you're still comfortable.

✧ wolffe had a massive sir/commander kink. when you speak to him in the bedroom he expects you to call him commander or sir. he also likes you to use your manners with him. "please sir" "thank you commander" etc. he gets hard as fuck when you call him commander in a normal context. if he asks you for something and you reply "yes commander" with a smirk he's desperate to fuck you up against the wall for being so good.

✧ omg okay i sorta love this one but, he's also dominant outside the bedroom yk? when the two of you are out with his boys he likes to keep a hand firmly around your waist or at the back of your neck reminding you of who you belong to. or giving you light smacks when you're being bratty to put you in your place. (with consent of course!!!!!) it's kinda hot hehehe.

✧ brat taming!!! if you're a brat, wolffe makes it his mission to train you into a good girl no matter what it takes. he hates your attitude, how cocky and full of yourself you are but he knows he can turn you into a cock dumb slut in no time. honestly, he enjoys how often he can give out punishments. spanking you or overstimulating you till you're in tears and begging him to stop. wolffe loves a good challenge though so don't give up easily.

✧ he has a primal kink (i think that's what it's called?) one of his biggest fantasies is hunting you like prey. one day the two of you decide to try it after a few hours at 79's. he gives you a head start as you run through the busy streets of coruscant. wolffe finds you quickly but waits for you to get tired and slow down before letting you see him.

✧ you slowly become more exhausted and decide to escape down an alleyway. full of confidence you think you got wolffe off your tail before he's right in front of you, head to toe in that smexy armour. the squeak you let out as he grabs you makes him growl in response and he pins you up against the wall.

✧ "did my little bunny really think she could get away that easy?" he growls keeping your hands restrained above your head. it's scary in the best way possible. the terror in your eyes is something he'll never get over. "use your words. did you think you could outrun me bunny?" he asks running a glove-covered finger over your lips "n-no sir" you cry and all you get in response is a harsh grunt and fucked against the wall. it's one of the best things you two ever did.

✧ he growls and grunts all the time during sex making actual animalistic noises but it's really hot. wolffe likes it if you do the same. whimpering and yelping always gets him. he promises he's not a furry though <3

✧ it's important to note he is very thorough during aftercare. wolffe will do almost anything you ask him to after a session. he's a really good dom and cares about your well-being. always checking in on you and making sure you're drinking a sufficient amount of water. he loves you a lot and wants to make sure you know that no matter what he's said to you during a session.

[saintsenara]

oooo as an unhinged ship, if it hasn’t come up before, hermione x regulus. (meaning book hermione and book regulus, not their fanon equivalents who we may safely assume can slip right into “good girl gone bad x unreasonably hot wealthy man” without trouble, and need no further consideration. idc about them. i like losers). what we know about regulus is minimal, but we can imagine for the sake of the bit that if he somehow survived, he just might have a little interest in SPEW, and canonically, hermione does go for a youngest son with fluctuating self esteem. regulus also loves making pinterest boards for his passions (which include domestic terrorism but all the same), while hermione is known to color code and decorate her study schedules. i’m curious to know your thoughts 👀 both crack-wise and more genuinely, as i love your analyses of how characters with severe divides could — or could not — reconcile their differences and overcome the obstacles.

(their biggest obstacle, of course, is harry, who bursts in on them at least three times a day to demand hermione explain why she went for the clearly less good looking brother. men are always like “i’m fighting demons” and the demons are unexplored bisexuality.)

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

while describing hermione's type as "youngest son with fluctuating self esteem" is apposite, regulus strikes me as someone as someone whose self esteem is sufficiently bulletproof that his issue is with a world which - as he sees it - doesn't respect how special and extraordinary he is, rather than feeling overlooked because he believes himself to be less special and less loved than those around him.

[hence signing his camp little note with his initials, assuming reading it will snatch voldemort's wig off and throw it across the room, when what actually happens is the dark lord doesn't even notice he's missing and undoubtedly thinks his name is reginald.]

would he enjoy being constantly nagged by hermione [which is how she expresses to those she loves that she loves them]? eh... i doubt it. although i am compelled by the crack potential of regulus joining spew for a quiet life, and helping the missus glitter-glue posters. the couple that crafts together stays together.

but what i actually think would be most interesting about these two - as i've also said in reference to shipping hermione with bellatrix - is that they have a couple of shared traits which could mesh very interestingly: an enormous capacity for loyalty and a slightly naive, slightly childlike tendency towards seeing what they want to see.

i've said this before, but hermione's astonishing loyalty is one of her most impressive traits - and contributes, in fact, far more to her role in the series than her intelligence. but it comes with the flip-side that she also - since her loyalty is directly intertwined with her inflexibility, which is her most fundamental trait, in both positive [she's resilient, logical, etc.] and negative [she's argumentative, narrow-minded, etc.] ways - has a slightly hagrid-ish tendency towards blind faith.

her inflexibility - especially the difficulty she has with considering multiple viewpoints - also contributes to her naivety. i do think it's striking, given the fanon tendency - gleaned from the films, which massively overplay this - for her to be portrayed as exponentially more mature than harry and ron that she is, in many ways, the most child-like of the trio: harry begins deathly hallows by throwing away most of his school trunk, hermione takes her schoolbooks on the run as comfort items; hermione believes that she's overthrowing the institution of slavery at hogwarts because the hats she knits vanish overnight; the item left to her in dumbledore's will is a book of fairy stories; etc.

both of these - loyalty and naivety, with the positive and negative things each of them brings - is also the regulus special. he sacrifices his life in an act of absolutely breathtaking loyalty to kreacher - which is directly caused by the humiliation he feels over his blind faith in voldemort being revealed to be misguided, and, specifically, is caused by the realisation that his initial view of voldemort as someone who wanted to bump off all the mudbloods and let pureblood families rule as oligarchs over a society which was, otherwise, fundamentally unchanged in terms of social structure etc. was extraordinarily naive. the dark lord wants to live forever, and he doesn't give a fuck who gets hurt on the way.

i do think there could be something quite compelling about the two of them either having to untangle their fairly rigid approaches to life - and how much of knock that might be to their self esteem. i also think there's something to be said for each of them seeing in the other what they want to see, and being completely unwilling to do otherwise.

you are correct to note that harry would be gagged.

[isca-tide]

6x06 aka why does this show hate joy and my emotional stability Smitty...really should've been fired by now, right? Look, I love a good comedic Smitty but...you know. Lucy messed up at the clown crime scene, even though she wasn't the first officer on site and wasn't responsible for securing the scene, and she got the pissed taken out of her. Do they just not even bother writing Smitty up anymore? Lucy, my love. Also her poster bed is gone :( I only just noticed. fic has me convinced that it's because of sexytimes, but i'll miss that gorgeous massive bed. i always wanted a four poster bed. Tamara baby no don't leave your mother. Lucy being so supportive when her entire life is falling apart. Honestly, Angela, no. You don't get to tell Lucy to sit back and do nothing and then go check on Tim yourself and then not tell Lucy afterwards. She was meant to be your friend too. I know Tim's your best friend but you can't just let Lucy spin out like this. Lucy has his back too but he won't let her be there. GAH. I'm so angry. I do get it, Angela has her priorities and Tim is above Lucy, but it still sucks.

70 degrees? Look, 21 celsius is no joke. I don't know how y'all cope in anything above 16/60 tbh. Also, why would you think it's a good idea to have a bunch of inmates mixed in with a crowd of people constantly changing with multiple escape routes? And no perimeter guard? Angela just tell him to tell Lucy. Better yet, tell her yourself. It's her choice if she puts her career at risk. Gaaaaaaaaah. Stop taking things away from Lucy and that includes her choices. I can't even pay attention to the side plots, or the main plots. Though I do find it funny that Angela just disappeared from work to do this with Tim. Unless she was leaving shift when she ran into Lucy. But this lot do have a habit of disappearing when they should be working. Angela please recognise how in over his head Tim is. Please tell Lucy and the others. Would you be happy if Lucy helped Wesley with something like this and didn't tell you? Told you to just sit back and leave it alone? Yeah, didn't think so. Maybe if Ray hadn't shown up, Angela could've gotten some sense into Tim and gotten him to talk to Lucy. Maybe. Would it have killed you to tell this to Lucy, Tim? You think she wouldn't be willing to keep this to herself? You've seen the lengths she's gone to to protect the people she loves and cares about, even if she's had to work around the law to do so. I want to feel for Tim. I really do. And part of me does, but knowing how this ends up just destroying Lucy, I just can't. I can't. God I wish we'd been able to see Lucy kick Ray's ass. And I'm so glad nothing happened, because obviously I do not want Tamara and Lucy in any danger, but the fics where Ray does do something are just that hit of angsty goodness. But god, I'm so glad they're not canon because that would've destroyed everything with zero chance of rebuilding. Oh Lucy, her rage and terror and sheer frantic anger are so understandable. Tim, please. For the love of god, please. Let your wife help you. He's her fierce protector and he's so focused on keeping her safe from his past, he doesn't see how much he's hurting her. He can't and won't stop protecting her. He's physically unable. The terror and conviction in his voice when he says that to her. He's trying to protect her from his past, but he's still hurting her so much. That amazingly gorgeous and angsty fic where Angela tells Tim how he broke Lucy's heart, the one thing he was meant to protect? That. So much that. With the lies, the break-up, pretending it was all to keep her safe and make her life better. God Tim, you need to recognise how much pain you caused her. Please. I want a full ass apology and a full ass adult conversation in S7. Full. Oh, Percy West. God, we need more of him. We need him with Lucy as well. I've read some gorgeous fics where they have the best father/daughter relationship before and after Jackson's death. God Tim, I know it's killing him to lie to West and Grey. But this is not the right route to go down, Tim. Please. Honey. Honestly, all I can repeat is what Lucy says. Why are you doing this? This entire scene is killing me. It's so well done, it really is, but good god it hurts. The way she's waiting for him, pulls him into a hug. He knows what he's going to do and he lets himself get drawn into that hug because he knows it might be the last one. The way she cradles his head like he usually does to her. She sees him breaking and she tries to hold him and support him. It's killing her to see him break like this. And the look on her face as she realises what he's saying. Good god. These are two very talented actors. I wish I could dissect this scene better but honestly I'm just too upset. Her holding his hand. Clinging to his shirt. The forehead kiss. Her looking so utterly lost and destroyed as he leaves. Tim please. I mean, the man obviously needs help and he needs to work on his own shit, so the break-up isn't an awful idea. But the way he went about it is just the worst. He can't make decisions for Lucy if he loves and respects her. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[gen-is-gone]

Doctor Who and 2 for the fandom meme?

2. My three favorite characters and why I love them so much.

Hello hi would you like to hear about the best TARDIS team you've never heard of, right as I've fallen back hard into special interest fixation on them :D :D :D

So there's this book series.

After The Enemy Within, aka Doctor Who the TV Movie, premiered to an astounding lack of enthusiasm in 1996, BBC books decided to steal Virgin Publishing's idea to write novels about dr who, and promptly yoinked the license so they could cut out the middleman and do just that, this time starring Paul McGann's Eighth Doctor instead of Sylvester McCoy's Seventh. This novel series was called, aptly enough, The Eighth Doctor Adventures. So entirely skipping over almost three decades' worth of entertaining intrafandom drama and also how nu!who shamelessly stole basically every good idea the EDAs ever had (the biggest being of course the Time War, tho tragically nowhere near as well done), my favorite TARDIS crew:

The Eighth Doctor (as you may have guessed), Fitz Kreiner, and Anji Kapoor.

I love them, I adore them, they're my best friends. All three of them are amazing in their own right, but they're absolutely phenomenal as a team.

Eight, and the EDA version of them specifically, is my favorite doctor bar none. They're flighty and giddy and tactile and deeply affectionate, they're extremely weird and have a number hyperfixations and special interests and other very relatable neurodivergent tendencies. They are very prone to amnesia in a way which starts off as kind of a running gag and ends up being a huge plot point for the entire second half of the series. They're easily the most genderfluid the Doctor ever gets before textually being played by a woman and going by she/her, which is a big part of why I like using they/them pronouns for the Doctor generally. They kiss people often and canonically date people of multiple genders. Being played by (or at least written in reference to) Paul McGann, they are extremely pretty. They also go through the absolute fucking wringer, both in the sense that their arc plots are really dramatic and complicated and dark, and also in the sense that some of the folks writing for the series are pretty unapologetic whump fans lol. Best Doctor. No notes.

Next up is My BoyTM. The ur-blorbo himself, Fitzgerald Michael Kreiner. He's the best and I hate him. He's the worst and I love him. He's a musician from 1963 with appalling fashion sense and truly awful luck. He's canonically bi and in love with the Doctor (and their kiss in the novel Dominion in 1998 was the first kiss between the Doctor and a man in the history of Dr Who). He's a clone of himself because Eight lost the original Fitz 600 years in the future and then he joined cult of shitty time traveling mall goths. The original Fitz lived 2000 years and was filled with hate and wanted to kill the Doctor for abandoning him but never actually stopped loving them. He's a massive idiot. He's genuinely embarrassing so often but also despite thinking of himself as a coward and an asshole he's very brave despite his constant terror and very kind despite his pretending that he's only out for himself. He is such astoundingly perfect tumblr bait it's not even funny. He's one of the longest running companions in the franchise by number of consecutive stories.

Last of my darlings is the myth, the legend herself, Anji Kapoor. The first Asian companion in the history of Doctor Who, she's a stock futures trader from 2001 and to this day the only example I can think of off the top of my head of a woman of color having her white boyfriend get fridged for the sake of her emotional pain and character development. On the surface, she's the one with braincell, but she's so much more than just the white boy babysitter stereotype. She's a massive closet nerd who loves Star Trek but won't admit it, she's got a very weird thought process that makes her jump to the most absolutely batshit decisions while justifying them to herself as being perfectly reasonable and logical and not at all insane, she thinks of Fitz as a brother and the Doctor as a sister, she once called the Doctor a useless otterfucker, literally what can't she do (other than get back to her own time and planet rip).

The three of them have such a wonderful dynamic together. They're best friends and close family despite them being thrown together entirely by chance. They banter and joke and snark together, they riff off each other and enjoy each other's company, all three of them would catch a bullet for each other and all three of them more or less have. They're in a run of I think 25 books, which is a pretty significant time to spend together, and while there are some clunkers in their run ngl, they've also got some truly amazing books together, including one of my favorite books not just in the EDAs or Dr Who, but as a whole, The Year of Intelligent Tigers. I love them so so much I can't even.

I'm... not sure how accessible anything to do with the EDAs is give I fell off the DW deep end solidly a decade ago and at this point I just have to admit I'm in for life, but I have observed that most people who do read the EDAs tend to put 8&fitz&anji in at least their top five TARDIS teams, if not their first pick. Anyway, I love them, thank you so much for letting me gush about the best TARDIS team in all of Dr Who :D

[the-lonelyshepherd]

ok let me try to ACTUALLY convince you to watch motherland fort salem

this is the best trailer for season one imo, it's a bit raelle centric but. we love raelle!! and this is a very raelle focused season.

so the whole premise of the show is like. what if one witch called sarah alder made a deal to stop the persecution of witches in return for every us witch to serve in the us military. and now it's 300 years later and there is a terrorist organisation wanting to end conscription (which has now become pretty much a global thing) called the spree that kills civilians.

the main characters are raelle (blonde lesbian whose mother was just killed fighting in the army. she's angry at the army and gay as hell), tally (redhead who didn't have to join the army because all her aunts died but chose to join anyway because of. the terrorists. she's so silly) and abigail (cutie patootie whose mother is the army's head of intelligence. she's lowkey an arrogant snobby bitch the first few episodes but she is beloved by me). these three have to be in a unit together

the show also kinda focuses on alder (she's still alive and a massive liar btw), anacostia (sergeant in charge of training) and scylla :)

the first season is about the characters going through basic training and learning to get along as a team (raelle and abigail get along great😁😁) all while the terrorism gets worse and new threats emerge teeheehee. if you care there are also a canon gay couple as well as abigail's various weird rivalries🤨 and the shay and kasia parallel but most of the meat of that is in season 2 (it's. fucking crazy btw)

it's really good icl and I think you would like it :)))

is this military propaganda question mark………

anyways if i have time ill look at it…. i guess…… maybe for the kay parallel……

[elizacinnamon]

The last day or so I have been stuck thinking about the 5 year time jump and how that specfically affected Betty and Archie as individuals but moving into their relationship romantically as well.

Arguably Archie’s PTSD from the war was condensed into S5 when it is a storyline that could have also been brought into S6 too. As it was highlighted how he has severe trauma from those days and how even into S6 how that does affect his hero complex… coupled with this feeling of survivors guilt. For Betty how her TBK story arc was over 2 seasons but also how before 6x12 we have no idea that he even knew the basic extent of her being captured in the first place.

Do you have any headcanons for that time period also have missing scenes that could have been in S5 or S6 that relate to the timejump material? As they massively skip over that period of time in relation to their dynamic and how they could support one another.

I think of this time period all the time! Seven years is an insane amount of time, if you think about it, and I am completely convinced Barchie saw each other or communicated during that time. However, it does seem canon that they didn’t hook up until the shower scene which has always kept me from writing a missing scenes fic during that period. There are lots of great canon-divergent fics based on that what-if.

As for some canon-compliant headcanons:

Betty and Archie write to each other from college/boot camp. All Archie’s friends assume she’s his girl.

Archie visits Betty at Yale between boot camp/assignments. They finally discuss the kiss, the song, etc. They almost hook up but end up just making out before Betty freaks out and stops it.

Betty and Archie spend a holiday together because neither want to go home.

Once Archie is assigned overseas, he keeps a photograph of Betty with him at all times.

When Archie thinks he’s dying, he thinks of Betty. He tells one of his friends as they stay guard, wondering if they are going to die, she’s the love of his life and he’ll always regret not getting to be with her.

When Betty goes to the hospital/ward after getting captured by TBK, they call Archie because he’s her emergency contact. He can’t come because he’s still at war but calls back. Betty talks to him, and plays her situation down, but it’s the first she speaks out loud after the incident. This is why Archie is familiar with TBK in season 6.

Archie is the only one who Betty can comfortably talk to about what really happened with TBK, evident by 6x12. He helps her talk through what she is going to say at slaughter-con.

After slaughter-con, Betty has to go to DC for a hearing about TBK’s case. Archie goes with her and takes her mind off things by planning for them to sight-see like little kids.

The reason TBK goes after Archie, and uses him against Betty, is because she muttered his name while captured in the well.

Archie and Betty still sleep in each other’s arms after they “break up” in 5x8. They start doing this one night when Archie has a bad dream and invites Betty over as she did after her own bad dream. When Archie “sleeps at the firehouse,” Betty joins him. It’s code. He knows Betty is the only one who can calm him down mid-terror.

When Betty and Archie start dating, Archie has less night terrors. When he does, Betty always knows what he needs. They often lay under the stars together because it stabilizes Archie.

On the Fourth of July, and New Years, they start a tradition where they stay in, get wine drunk, and watch movies on full volume to avoid the triggering noises.

[originemesis]

hc musings - character dive ; //

Judging from season 1, I think it's safe to assume Adam does not like be without his helmet/mask. Sure, he's dressed up for his meetings/in court/for the final battle, which is just about everywhere he pops up in the season. However, he's also briefly shown just hanging out with Lute in heaven and he's still in uniform while she isn't. This is likely their down time, and yet he's still lugging around his massive robes, fully decked out for battle like it could happen anytime when clearly they're in heaven and it can't. So why is this?

Well, when the mask actually comes off (it's forced off and smashed apart just to get to that point), Adam is just 'some dude' under the menacing, manic act he's been putting on the whole time. An act as in when he crawls out of the hole without his safeguard face, he literally just has a melt down in front of everyone where his previous 'cunty charm' and 'idgaf' attitude are gone in place of some caught on the spot, seething human looking dirt bag who's only 'gotcha' is to call the group that's put an end to his reign of terror 'losers'. Just losers (baby ~). If he's not insecure with what he is under that mask (and how could he not be when not one, but two people who were literally created to be his perfect match dumped his ass? Oof.), then he absolutely has an inferiority complex of sorts and its in his 'break-down' moment on screen where it's on full display without the glowing grin and the horns.

To scratch further at that thought- imagine how Adam, the first human/man was essentially created in God's image. He was created to be perfect by heaven's definition, and though he didn't stay that way, he got a taste for what that felt like. Literally anything he does after that point when Eve and him have to leave Eden is (unironically) 'mid' or worse.

HC wise (out of my own musings so don't mind the canon divergence here since s2 is likely uhh...twitterjokes2027-) I'm leaning into the idea that the first two human souls are weighty in the sense that they can't both be in the same after life or it'll upset whatever balance there is between heaven and hell. So at the time of their deaths, it was decided that heaven wanted Adam and so hell would have Eve by default (also she was the one they blamed most- typical fandoms @ female characters amiriteeee). This means Adam who knows he's not perfect anymore, hasn't felt so in a long time- goes to a plane of existence that exudes perfection. They have 'the brightest, the polite-est of the lot and everyone is hot'. And then there he is- just some dude who is none of those things (hates math, innately rude, and well...'just some guy' isn't exactly heaven-scale hot guyyys).

This cumulation of always realizing nothing he does is good enough (because he knows this) and yet being treated like it is because he just happened to be first leads Adam to a state that even Lucifer comments on in their battle in the form of 'oh haha, you really let yourself go-'. Which I take to mean in the sense Adam is up in heaven, holding zoom-style holographic meetings while he probably barely even leaves his room (and never without his gear on), neglecting the 'womanly' deemed things like cooking and taking care of himself, gaining struggle weight for it all, and worst of all...he's in heaven and he's essentially in a depressed state (that let's be real he'd say doesn't exist like the dwightyouignorantslut he is) and that is plastered all over his real face in the form of baggy under eyes and that gross chin stubble he got going on too. And since heaven is full of happy, not depressed- never have a hard day, and HOT people, he essentially stays covered 24/7 in public because people would definitely question why he's there and heaven really doesn't need more people questioning decisions that'll create more Lucifers.

While wearing the mask he's like a kid that won't take his Halloween costume off because it makes him feel cool, and he does get a lot more animated and forgetful of his true insides. He's almost like a school mascot in a way, using his 'angelsona' to amplify his attention-grabbing antics. Take it away and he's very likely much more identical to Lucifer in terms of the whole 'take THAT, depression!' bit. Except for Adam that just translates to him being far less animated, grumpy, electric-guitar to acoustic pipeline, passively aggressive and likely tired, being the source of all humanity and all (man needs to be sucking down that G-fuel hourly).

Additionally: Angeldust and Adam would have the same theme of 'putting on an act' (or in Adam's case- putting on a show) and not letting the real person behind the façade show through. (Though in Angel's case it's for his own protection. In Adam's case it's because man can't cope with his insecurity.) And how Husk sees through Angel's bullshit, Lute does the same with Adam.

Adam's helmet glitched out the same way that Vox's did, so it could very well be a hint that Vox and Adam may have something to do with antagonism in the next season. If Adam came back w/o his mask and this all was applicable ofc, he would definitely team up with or make a deal with Vox in order to get him to fix the helmet (assuming he can based on the idea he might know how it works when put back together since his own tv face has been shown to glitch out like Adam's did) since it would be a necessary competent to bring back the actual 'Adam' he's become after living in discomfort with the one he became after experiencing real perfection.