#shes delightful to talk to and id hate to lose that

[youaremysunshine-court]

That moment when you're tiptoeing around coming out to someone close to you and you're pulling out all the stops to see if they're safe and after 2 hours you still don't know

[pod95]

Pairing: Finn Balor X reader

Word Count: 2152

Warnings: Smutt (implied)

Description: A/n you and your best friend Becky Lynch are sharing a hotel room together, but when her boyfriend Seth Rollins sneaks in, you are left with no choice but to sleep in his room with the guy you hate, Finn Balor.

A/N This is part of a series of one shots I am doing. You can read this and the others on my Wattpad, AO3 and FanFiction pages.

Room Swap

"Name please," the receptionist asked as you searched through your purse for your ID.

"Y/l/n. It should be a twin room."

"Ah yes, here you are," she turned to the board behind and picked out a key card. You're in room 412."

"Thanks!" you take the key card off of her and return to Becky, who was waiting with your luggage in the lobby.

"Everything all sorted, roomie?" Becky asked, thumbing through a magazine.

"Yeah I can't wait. Ever since you got with Seth we never get to bunk together. It's gonna be like old times!"

"I just hope you're ready for a wild night of stuffing our faces with room service and bingeing bad horror movies," she winked and giggled.

"Ooft sounds like a hot date," you teased her.

"Speaking of hot..." Becky gestured to the lobby entrance where her boyfriend Seth Rollins was bringing in his luggage. He made his way over to you and beamed when he saw Becky.

"Damn, you're beautiful. Can I get your number?" he teased.

"Sorry, I have a boyfriend. He's super buff and macho and could probably kick your ass," she retorted, planting a loving kiss on his cheek. Seth wrapped his arms around her waist as you smiled at how happy you were that your friend found someone who truly loved her.

"Are you sure you wanna spend the night with y/n? I mean I love Finn but we could have a LOT of fun in a room together..." Seth cooed, kissing Beckys neck.

"Hey, Rollins! Stop making moves on my woman. You get every other night with her. Go near her, and I'll chop that dick off!" you threatened playfully.

"Fine, Jeez!" he laughed, "We really need to get you a boyfriend."

You shuddered at the words. You had been secretly seeing someone, but broke it off a couple of weeks ago and you were starting to lose hope of ever finding a decent guy.

"You know, Finn is still single..." Becky prompted.

"Ugh no way!" you retched, "not even if he was the last man on Earth."

"Finn's a great guy! I really don't get why you hate him so much..." Seth shook his head.

"Where do I start? He's cocky and narcissistic, he thinks he's God's gift to women, he's always bragging about how many girls he's been with. Yeah sure, he's hot, but he knows it. Besides, he's a jerk to me whenever we're together."

"Y/n, you haven't even given him a chance. I reckon if you spent some time alone with him, you'd see all the good parts of him!" Seth enthused.

"He wears very tight trunks in the ring, I've already seen WAY more parts of him than I'm comfortable with."

"Aww, y/n, I'm flattered you spend your free time thinking about me in tight trunks!" came an Irish accent from behind you. You groaned internally.

"I wouldn't be... You missed the part where I called you cocky and narcissistic." you jeered, smirking at Finn.

"It's not cocky if you can back it up love," he winked, and you hated yourself for finding him so attractive.

"Right, sure. Guys like you are all talk."

"Oh one night alone with me, and you'd never want to leave," he went to brush a hair from your face, giggling mischievously as you swatted it away. "I could prove it to you tonight if you want."

"Oh my god, why are all the men in my life trying to ruin our night together? Go find some other woman to disappoint, Balor! She's mine tonight," Becky scolded him. "Y/n, we should go to our room before these Jackasses get in the way."

Becky stood up, kissed Seth affectionately and grabbed her luggage. You followed her leave, grabbing your things and saying goodbye to Seth.

"What no goodbye kiss for me?" Finn hollered is you set off towards the elevator, cackling at the middle finger you were now responding with.

When you got to the room, Becky kicked her shoes off and dove onto a bed. You changed into a tank top and some leggings as she looked through the room service menu.

"I'm gonna get some lobster. What do you want?"

"Ooh very fancy. I'll have the same."

You spent the evening pigging out on fancy room service and making fun of terrible movies before eventually feeling too tired to stay awake and nodding off halfway through the second movie.

Just as you'd fallen asleep, you were awoken by a noise. You weren't sure what it was at first, it sounded kind of wet. Then you heard a soft moan coming from the bed next to you and you looked over to see a huge lump under the covers of Beckys bed. Groaning, you turned your bedside lamp on.

"Really guys? I'm trying to sleep here..." you protested.

"Oh shit, sorry y/n. I'll just go." a naked Seth peeked out from under the covers, his hair messy and his voice breathless.

"No, it's fine just... Give me your key card. I'll sleep in your room."

"Really? Sure, it's in my pants. Thanks y/n, you're the best." Seth said, before retreating back under the covers, much to the delight of a giggling Becky.

You hastily retrieved the key card (room 426) from his discarded pants and made your escape.

As you stormed down the hall to where Seth and Finn were staying, you muttered under your breath. You knew that Becky and Seth were a couple, but do they have no boundaries? You arrived at room 426 and knocked on the door. Despite having the key, you didn't want to just barge into the room unannounced.

A shirtless Finn opened the door. He blinked in surprise upon seeing you, before smiling cockily.

"I see you decided to take me up on my offer earlier," he purred, leaning coolly against the doorframe.

"No chance in hell. Seth and Becky are 'getting busy', and as close as we are, I REALLY don't wanna see her O face so... Seth said I could crash here. Sorry to disappoint you," you shoved past, struggling to keep your eyes off of his impressive torso.

"Alright but I should warn you... I sleep naked," Finn beamed at you, amused by the look of horror that crossed your face.

"Whatever just... You stay in your bed, I'll stay in mine and we should get through the night without me beating you to death!" you smiled sweetly back at him.

"Oh come on. I'm just messing with you," he chuckled, grabbing a towel from the wardrobe. "I'm gonna take a shower, TV remote is there. Make yourself at home."

Finn disappeared into the bathroom and shortly after, you heard the gushing of the shower. For a moment, you imagined the water cascading down Finn's abs and trickling down his body. Disgusted with yourself for imagining such things, you shook the thought from your mind and turned on the TV.

Eventually, Finn emerged from the shower, and you were surprised to see him wearing a pair of shorts and a vest. You stared at him for a moment, still confused.

"Is there a problem?" he asks, snapping you out of your stupor.

"No! Not at all... You're just such a playboy, I'm surprised you're wearing actual clothes and not a towel that's far too small for you," you challenged him, secretly disappointed by the reality.

"Contrary to what you might think about me, I'm not a sex pest. I may be cocky and full of myself, but I'm not gonna go out of my way to make you uncomfortable." annoyed, Finn collapsed into his bed, refusing to make eye contact with you.

"Finn... I'm sorry. I'm being a jerk. Honestly, thanks for letting me stay here. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"Well... You can buy me pizza. I like pepperoni and stuffed crust please!" He grinned cheekily and you couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Pizza, for Mr Abs? What about all those carbs?" you teased him, picking up the menu from the desk.

"Well, you really upset me and now I'm eating my feelings," Finn pouted adorably at you, giggling when you threw a pillow at him.

You and Finn went back and forth teasing each other until the pizza arrived, when Finn jumped up excitedly and rushed to the door to collect it.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Finn asked, sitting at the end of his bed and tucking into his Pizza.

"Sure," you started flicking through the movie channels. "Oooh, Toy Story!"

You lay back, occasionally eyeing up Finns pizza. Your stomach gave you away and let out a thunderous growl, as you held a pillow over it, trying to muffle the sound.

"Do you want some?" Finn tempted you, patting an empty space on the bed next to him. Nodding enthusiastically, you accepted the invitation and grabbed a slice.

The room fell quiet apart from the sound of you and Finn happily tucking in to the pizza.

"So are you feeling any better?" Finn asked, grabbing another slice.

"Better? What do you mean?"

"Well you seemed angry earlier. It must be frustrating never getting to see Becky," Finn prompted, giving you a look of genuine sympathy. You were surprised that he had picked up on it. You usually had a bad attitude around him anyway, so it was impressive that he could tell you were more upset than usual.

"I was at first, but I get it. They're a couple, they wanna spend time together. If I had a boyfriend, I'd be the same, " you confessed.

"So what happened with that guy you were seeing?" Finn asked, the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Oh that didn't go anywhere. Wait, how did you know about that?"

"Oh... I guess... Becky might have mentioned it..." Finn stammered, unusually flustered.

"Becky didn't know..." you eyed him suspiciously. Finn paused, thinking for a moment before sighing.

"OK fine..." he shuffled nervously. "A couple of weeks ago, I was outside your locker room and I heard you on the phone to him."

"And why exactly were you lurking outside my locker room, Mr Balor?" you teased him, amused by this vulnerable version of Finn.

"Well, I was planning on asking you to dinner," he quickly reverted back to his usual, charismatic self.

Speechless and somewhat embarrassed, you grabbed another slice of pizza and continued watching the movie. You're cheeks felt hot, and you could still feel Finns eyes on you. But even so, you couldn't help but feel surprised by how comfortable you were around Finn.

After several minutes, you dared to glance back at him. The glance escalated, and soon you found yourself examining his features in great detail. He really was incredibly attractive. Your attention moved from his dark hair towards his mesmerising blue eyes, twinkling with delight as he watched the movie, down his strong cheekbones to where an adorable, boyish smile perfectly complimented the rest of his face. As he turned towards you and caught you staring, every instinct told you to avert your eyes, but you just couldn't.

His eyes locked onto yours, holding your gaze as you felt your heart rate increasing. He smirked, pleased with himself for having caught you staring at him. Unblinking, he looked you up and down, licking his lips seductively. Bashful, you turned away, not wanting him to see you blush. Finn reached out a hand to stroke your reddening cheek.

Your skin tingled, as you nuzzled against his hand. Finn let out a low, victorious chuckle and cupped your other cheek in his hand, turning it to face him. You stared at his lips for just a moment before closing the distance between your face and his, stopping just before his lips. You closed your eyes, smiled to yourself, and pressed your lips to his. It was gentle and nervous at first, but as your hunger for him grew, the kiss became more passionate. You let out a small moan when he gently nibbled your lower lip. He pulled away, breathless, eyeing you intensely.

"If this goes much further... I won't be able to stop myself. Are you OK with that?" Finn asked, stroking your cheek. You nodded, never breaking eye contact. Finn smiled roguishly.

"Perfect." Finn grinned, tangling his fingers in your hair and devouring your lips, as you made a silent reminder to thank Seth and Becky

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think, and if you want a part 2 at some point in the future 😊

[laufire]

I did a ~selective viewing of some Suits episodes to do a refresher before jumping in and finally watching the last season... I'm determined to do it because I want to see where a lot of these people's stories went (Louis, Louis/Sheila, Samantha, Katrina, Alex...).

But just the premiere has made more aware than ever of how much I LOATHE Donna. And Darvey. Neither can be on screen without me making this exact face:

[ID: the queen on Brave making a disgusted involuntary expression at her food’s taste.]

I hate her Karma Houdini ass more than ever istg. She massively screws up like once per season, yet nothing happens to her as a consequence, because she's Awesome TM and people aren't allowed to disagree or dislike her, ever (that investigator who refused to work for the film when Donna was a bitch to her and then refused to be convinced to talk in their favor... where are you babe ilu. Same to Anita Gibbs and oh so many

delightful antagonists. Hardman deserves to ruin her life for what she did to Robert, period. The bf she just cheated on should get to be a bitch at the very least).

What's worse, her last stunt not only didn't have negative consequences for her, but it caused MY MAN ROBERT ZANE to be disbarred and damage his reputation (likely irreparably, though I’m hoping that’s not the case and I’m going to choose to believe it even if it’s post-series) to save her and Harvey's asses.This in turn harmed the firm that Alex and Samantha just put their names on, hurting Samantha’s reputation as Robert’s right hand, and caused Louis to lose control of the firm. But none of them are allowed to even be mad at her for it, because It’s Donna. Samantha is within her fucking rights to tear into her but she must make peace with her; it must be understood that Louis worships the ground she walks on (although thankfully lately it’s just words, as he relies far more on literally everyone else -Sheila, Katrina, his therapist, Alex, Robert, Harvey...), Robert can’t be mad and instead must be seeking ~redemption, etc.

One thing that made me FURIOUS though, it’s her call to Rachel at the beginning of the episode. Rachel, her so-called closest friend, and the daughter of the man whose life she just ruined. And she calls her and leaves a message in her voicemail (which I’m choosing to believe as Rachel not picking up because as far as she’s concerned, they’re not on speaking terms), to cheerfully inform her that’s she’s finally worn down the man she obsessively obsessed about for over a decade to fuck her a second time. Hoo-fucking-ray. What the fuck is wrong with her that she calls Rachel to tell her that, right now??

Which leads me to what I can’t stand about the situation. It’s not like the show is pretending that Donna and Harvey are the Ultimate Romance, the writing is consistent and all (LOL at the fact that Louis caught them the morning after, saw Harvey in last night’s clothes... and thought they’d being working all night because the idea is so unthinkable lmao. And some narrative choices are VERY ON POINT, like the fact that things happen in Donna’s appartment and not Harvey’s -where everything about his romantic life has been front and center-, or how Harvey isn’t even allowed to be mad that Donna was still involved with another man without his knowledge when they slept together, something that to the Harvey we knew in the show, would’ve made him feel like shit and angry as hell), but the narrative of Harvey Finally Sees How Awesome Donna Is And That She’s Always Right And Should Be In Charge of Every Facet of His Life... jfc. I hate it here!!

They are living proof of the fact that I hate the Relentless Pursuer trope no matter what genders involve it, I guess, but at what cost. AT WHAT COST I SAY DDDD: I feel terrible for him ugh.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 1

Rating: Explicit. 18+

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Bad girls are sad girls! Always wondered what goes through the mind of a spoiled, rich but intelligent and perceptive teenager? Have you found yourself craving that adrenaline rush, the danger of a forbidden fruit? Okay. That was cheesy as hell. Gross.

Let's try again. Sarcasm? Check. Vine references? Hell yes! Crude humour? Check. Blunt honesty? Double check. We're living in a Lana del Rey song, ladies.

The author doesn't actually condone codependent relationships in real life. This is a filthy little fantasy. Enjoy, deviants.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub​ @mostly-marvel-musings​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves all the love 💙

Pining. I was pining after Stark and it made me upset. I thought I was better than that. Better than acting the part of a lovesick puppy, begging for scraps of attention- a kind word, a pat on the shoulder, a blanket thrown over me in my sleep. Even if he was my Mount Olympus, I wasn't exactly on board with starting the whole damn journey in the first place.

Most of all, I hated being a cliché. I tried my best to avoid showing how I felt and with time, I think I excelled at it. I am really good with things if I really put my mind to it. Was it a blessing, or was it a curse? Only the future will tell. I try not to think about it, as I prefer not to stress out too much. Peter was the anxious kid and I was the calm one. I was the Ying to his Yang. He flipped his shit often and I always calmed him down and cleaned up after him. No complaints there, Pete is pure and precious and I would kill everybody and then myself if he actually got hurt.

I'm only a year older than him and that year feels like an uncrossable bridge to me. We get along like a house on fire and I delight in the way he starts smiling when we're paired together for a project. Deep inside I'm sure he thinks of me as one of his best friends, his homies but-and there's always a but-I can't reciprocitate that. He goes to decathlon after school with his wholesome BFF duo, I go to a local dive bar with a fake ID I'd made sometime when I was about 15.

Peter has everything I wish I've ever had. Good for him. I'm not going to mess that up, no matter how much my angst demands I throw a tantrum and become, like, a supervillain or something.

I banter, instead. I chit-chat. I laugh and I repeatedly make a joke out of myself. Nobody suspects a thing, and I'm not surprised. People always see what they want to see. I've been the weird loner since middle school. Not the sad kind, of course, my pride wouldn't let me. I'm too good at things to be completely ignored. Teachers adore me, the event planning committee approaches me every year with tentative pleas for advice. The list goes on and on; what they don't understand is that it's just High School. Another year and I'll be out of there and nobody will be wiser.

I feel like a liar every time I'm excited. Because I'm not that - I don't care about their stupid field trips or collaborative projects. My mind is five steps and two hops ahead of that bullshit. It has to be or I just won't make it in the world.

"Parker-pen, Mr. Stark. G'day, sirs," I nodded, entering the lab, looking straight ahead. They both were hunched over... Something vaguely mechanical and I was terribly, horribly hungover. Saturday night was Science night but I'd gone to bed around 2PM after a party ran way too late.

"Hi," and "Powerpuff girl," came from them respectively, and they didn't even lift their heads.

I wondered if I could just skedaddle and leave them to their big brain time. "Is this a bad time? I can come tomorrow instead," I immediately regretted speaking, even to my own ears my voice sounds scratchy.

"No, actually, Dr. Ban-Bruce-wanted to talk to you," Peter mumbled out half-coherently. Tony kept ignoring me and I was fine with that. The less temptation I have the less trouble there will be.

"I'm not playing with his zucchini again," I groaned, causing the intricate pile of metal to squeak sadly as Pete tripped over his own damn body, jostling the prototype in the process. I could have sworn the room got several degrees hotter from the boy's blush alone.

Tony cackled, shuffling away from the newly ruined prototype. "He won the damn contest, you should've seen the judges faces," The engineer's grin threatened to split his face in half. I poked at my phone in muted interest. "Hold up, Friday has a recording. I definitely recorded the thing."

A holo-screen popped up. Tranquil scenes of a local fair, gourds and other assorted vegetables of various grotesque sizes were scattered throughout the square. An unmistakable mop of curly greying hair posed proudly next to a zucchini half the size of Hulk - I was fairly certain genetically engineering the plant was cheating and warned him so but somehow Banner managed to persuade the judges into letting him participate, and ultimately win, the competition for the Biggest Zucchini. Some of them were quite shocked at the size of that thing and well - well, their glances were quite contemplative to say the least.

"Damn, Tony, that blonde chick's face tells me all I need to know," I gave a lopsided smirk in the engineer's general direction. That was our thing, you see? He called me these ridiculous cutesy nicknames and asked me about getting my nails done or going to the mall and I'd make salacious comments and go on an occasional flirtatious spree. That was comfortable. We both enjoyed making Peter blush and giggle like the little schoolboy that he was.

"Our Brucie bear is a freak, don't let him tell you any different, Princess," Tony winked at me.

"Oh, I know all about it, Tones," I suggestively wiggled my eyebrows. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Peter groan and palm his face. I briefly bumped my knuckles to Tony's outstretched hand and made my way to the adjacent lab that hosted the second resident crazy scientist.

"Bruce?"

"Oh, hi there, come on in," He smiled warmly at me and I relaxed, shrugging off the tension in my limbs that seemed to appear every time Tony was around me. Banner's soft, friendly nature always made me feel welcomed and appreciated.

We made small talk as I threw on a lab coat and some protective glasses and discarded my bag in the far corner, away from any possible explosions. I congratulated him on his recent victory - here is when I say that despite what most will say, Banner has a serious competitive mean streak and isn't afraid to get down and dirty when it comes to matters of his personal pride.

That's what makes us alike, I think. I have too much dignity and self-respect to walk around Tony with stars in my eyes and hang around his neck like yesterday's tie.

The quiet, even pace of doing lab work made me completely lose track of time. Some time passed as I felt the crick in my neck become noticeable, and the deep ache in my calves from standing and dancing yesterday worsened. I hopped onto the nearest table, hunched over a tablet, eyes skimming over research articles - most of it didn't register at all in the wake of a dull throb behind my temples. My hair limply hung over my face - I had to wash it to get rid of the stench-hard liquor and cigarettes - but I was way too lazy to style it properly.

I ignored the swaying strands until a large palm gently tucked them behind my ear, a white lab coat coming into my field of view. "You okay?" Banner's quiet voice interrupted my reading. I lifted eyes enough to see he was wearing a dorky button-up in some gross shade of blue under the lab coat. His eyes were affectionate behind thinly rimmed glasses.

"Rough Friday night?" He questioned.

I chuckled. "Yeah, I'm hungover as fuck." There was no point in hiding the obvious; I'm sure the bags under my eyes already had tattled on me.

He chuckled, too, leaning his hip against the table, one broad arm coming to wrap around me in a hug. Usually he wasn't so touchy-feely; but I wasn't complaining. Banner was really, really warm. "I'll spare you the lecture on underage drinking," He said with another chuckle.

"Yeah, it's pretty pointless. You'd be three years too late."

A deep sigh left him, both of his arms wrapping around me in a comfortable embrace. I rested my chin on his shoulder, trying my best to really avoid showing how touch-starved I was. I was a hundred percent sure they all figured out my family life was difficult; the last thing I needed was their pity.

"Y'know, we should sit down and talk someday," He said after a brief moment of hesitation. "About your future. College, maybe?"

I gave a non-committal hum, basking in the warmth of the hug, staring straight ahead with unseeing eyes - behind the glass divide, I could faintly distinguish Tony's and Peter's shapes, still bent over that bench the pile of metal.

"You have a lot of potential," Banner continued, his tone developing a gently admonishing hint. "I understand if you want to take some time off from your studies but I'd rather you succeed and not let all that potential go to waste," He finished, patting me on the back with a gentle hand.

I tried not to preen under his touch. "Are you attempting to guilt-trip me over a party, doctor Banner?" I teased him, expecting the smile that I felt being hidden by my hair. Sometimes I felt that I could read the man like an open book, he was so earnest about his interactions.

"I just - we want you to stay safe, okay? Don't blow your future for a little bit of fun," He shrugged carefully.

"Okay, Bruce," I simply replied, meaning it this time

He kept hugging me, running his hand over my back absentmindedly. Probably thinking about his recent science bender. I wasn't upset: my own brain tended to get tangled in personal projects, too. I had only one complaint and it was that the cuddle was making me sleepy.

I yawned, startling the man. Pulling away from the hug wasn't really an option. He was broad and quite strong, probably courtesy of the Hulk and radiation in his blood.

"Why don't we put you in a guest room for tonight?" He inquired and I nodded. "Call your parents for me, okay?"

"My mother is in Vancouver for the week and I doubt she would care anyway," I rolled my eyes. "She's in the middle of some shitstorm with OsCorp and their marketing department." If anything, I was grateful my mother was preoccupied with her job. Being around her was like hanging out on top of an iceberg in the far end of the ocean.

I felt Bruce's frown. His body tensed briefly, blink and you'll miss the hunch of his shoulders. "What about your dad?"

I cringed. "He's been in Ibiza since the season opened, no doubt snorting miles of coke and... " I hesitated. "You can guess the rest."

My dad was kind of a dick, but I don't blame him at all for being the way he is. My parents have been married for twenty years. They were happy, once - I saw their college pictures with my mother's bright smiles and bushy hair, and my dad's terrible fashion sense and their dog, a funny little runt with an atrocious name. Then mother had me and for a while, they were happy too, but it lasted about until she landed her first prospective job. Kind of cliché.

Bruce sighed again. "Okay. You hungry?"

"No, I'm not going near food until tomorrow. Nu-uh," I fake-retched next to his ear, making Bruce shiver and playfully pinch my side.

"It'll help with your hangover. Doctor's advice."

"You're not even that kind of doctor," I laughed, very gently poking him back, somewhere around his stomach. He squirmed.

"I have seven PhDs," Bruce smiled as he rested his chin on top of my head as he adjusted his torso to prevent my fingers from reaching his ticklish spots. I poked him again in retaliation, fully enjoying the snort and squirm I caused. Soft™. "Let's go get you settled in," Bruce, seemingly without any difficulty, picked me up, propping me against his hip like a toddler. It probably looked awkward but what the hell, I haven't been carried around since I can remember myself. My legs wrapped around his hips for balance, butt resting on his forearm.

"You're a showoff," I couldn't help but snort, getting a lopsided smirk in return.

He made his way over to the elevator with me dangling and examining my nails in an expectant fashion. Tony's jokes aside, I really enjoyed getting them done and weird colors were a quest of entertainment for me. I obviously couldn't have them very long because I worked in a lab so I chose outrageous prints and decorations instead. This week, each of my nails had a different style - thankfully my aesthetician was professional enough to make it look somewhat put together even if it took a good chunk of my allowance and an hour long Uber ride to get to her salon.

I noticed the dimmed lights in Tony's lab and none of Peter's usual mess scattered on the tables, figuring he'd already left. Stark himself stood propped against a table, watching something, smoothie in hand.

For only a brief moment, I let my eyes rake over his body, his beautiful, sculpted physique hugged by a pair of fitted jeans and an old Led Zeppelin tee. Tony's handsomeness wasn't obvious, it wasn't in-your-face kind of appearance like Captain America's, but the engineer was built sturdy and his arms - the only bare part of him - were riddled with scars. He used his strong, bulky body for work.

I turned away before I got too ahead of myself. Bruce smelled like lab equipment and rubbing alcohol, something that made me sober up and snap out of my daydream before Stark took notice and started teasing me about ogling him. My once-over lasted barely three seconds yet with Tony's genius, I always had to be on my toes.

I saw movement in my peripheral. Banner waved before entering the elevator - at Tony, probably, so I looked back, seeing the man watching us, content replaced with a contemplating frown. I waved at him, resting my cheek on Bruce's shoulder. "Tony's having a big mood," I noted quietly in the scientist's ear.

"You know Tony," Bruce sighed, adjusting his hold on me as the car ascended to the housing floors. "His brain runs a mile a minute and he can't make sense of it for the biggest part. Give him some time and he'll be back to his annoying self."

I didn't see Tony as annoying in any way, but then again, I was severely biased. The billionaire was quirky venturing into absurd but also clever and brilliant.

We had reached our destination and Bruce carefully set me down on my feet once the door to my room was open. A large queen bed, TV and another door to an adjacent bathroom. It was really simple but luxurious nonetheless - I had the exact same carpet at home, having heard my mother bitch about it's cost after seeing me spill soda on it way too many times.

"I'll let you get settled in. Ask Friday if you need something," Bruce awkwardly shuffled his feet, taking off his glasses and briefly examining them before putting them back on again. "Breakfast here is on the 74th floor starting around 7AM, someone will probably get you around nine if you sleep in," He finished, giving a shy tilt of his lips.

"Thanks, Brucie-bear," The nickname easily slipped from my lips. I didn't resist the urge to hug the kind scientist, quickly wrapping my arms around his middle, delightfully sighing when he immediately returned the gesture.

"Good night, Princess," I had to suppress a happy squeak when the man kissed my forehead before retreating and closing the door behind himself. A quick shower and a quest to find a power outlet to plug my charger into preceded my less than graceful flop into the bed. It felt like sleeping on a cloud, honestly, it had nothing on my mother's orthopaedic memory foam mattresses. I passed out faster than I’d ever had.

[backslashdelta]

Glee Soundtrack Rating Project Results: mallosoar

@mallosoar

Favourite character: Quinn Fabray

Least favourite character: Will Schuester

Favourite season: Season 1

Least favourite season: Season 5

Mean song rating: 6.29

Mean song rating for favourite character's songs: 8.19

Mean song rating for favourite character's solos: 9.4

Mean song rating season 1: 6.54

Mean song rating season 2: 6.47

Mean song rating season 3: 6.07

Mean song rating season 4: 5.67

Mean song rating season 5: 6.08

Mean song rating season 6: 8.29

Songs rated: 450

[ID: A bar chart titled Number of songs assigned each rating by mallosoar, illustrating the number of times each score was assigned to a song by mallosoar. 10 was assigned 28 times, 9 was assigned 45 times, 8 was assigned 72 times, 7 was assigned 50 times, 6 was assigned 101 times, 5 was assigned 66 times, 4 was assigned 49 times, 3 was assigned 18 times, 2 was assigned 13 times, 1 was assigned 8 times, and 252 songs were not rated.]

About the Project | Results Masterpost

Ranking:

1. (10) - S1x03 - Bust Your Windows

2. (10) - S1x05 - Last Name

3. (10) - S1x06 - It's My Life/Confessions Part II

4. (10) - S1x07 - You Keep Me Hanging On

5. (10) - S1x15 - 4 Minutes

6. (10) - S1x17 - Run Joey Run

7. (10) - S1x18 - The Boy Is Mine

8. (10) - S1x18 - Lady Is a Tramp

9. (10) - S1x20 - Bad Romance

10. (10) - S2x05 - Time Warp

11. (10) - S2x06 - Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind

12. (10) - S2x06 - Start Me Up/Livin' on a Prayer

13. (10) - S2x07 - Singing In the Rain/Umbrella

14. (10) - S2x09 - Dog Days Are Over

15. (10) - S2x09 - Valerie

16. (10) - S2x11 - Thriller/Heads Will Roll

17. (10) - S2x11 - Need You Now

18. (10) - S2x14 - Blame It (On the Alcohol)

19. (10) - S2x18 - I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

20. (10) - S2x19 - Songbird

21. (10) - S3x11 - Never Can Say Goodbye

22. (10) - S3x13 - Stereo Hearts

23. (10) - S3x13 - Cherish/Cherish

24. (10) - S3x18 - Shake It Out

25. (10) - S4x01 - Chasing Pavements

26. (10) - S5x03 - If I Die Young

27. (10) - S5x12 - Toxic

28. (10) - S6x02 - Mustang Sally

29. (9) - S1x01 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot)

30. (9) - S1x02 - I Say a Little Prayer

31. (9) - S1x02 - Take a Bow

32. (9) - S1x05 - Alone

33. (9) - S1x05 - Somebody to Love

34. (9) - S1x08 - Sweet Caroline

35. (9) - S1x11 - Papa Don't Preach

36. (9) - S1x14 - Hello, I Love You

37. (9) - S1x14 - Gives You Hell

38. (9) - S1x15 - Like a Virgin

39. (9) - S1x15 - Express Yourself

40. (9) - S1x15 - Borderline/Open Your Heart

41. (9) - S1x18 - Jessie's Girl

42. (9) - S1x20 - Beth

43. (9) - S1x21 - It's a Man's Man's Man's World

44. (9) - S1x22 - Bohemian Rhapsody

45. (9) - S2x01 - Empire State of Mind

46. (9) - S2x03 - Losing My Religion

47. (9) - S2x03 - Only the Good Die Young

48. (9) - S2x04 - River Deep, Mountain High

49. (9) - S2x04 - Lucky

50. (9) - S2x04 - Sing!

51. (9) - S2x14 - Tik Tok

52. (9) - S2x15 - Afternoon Delight

53. (9) - S2x15 - Landslide

54. (9) - S2x21 - Back to Black

55. (9) - S2x22 - Yeah!

56. (9) - S2x22 - I Love New York/New York, New York

57. (9) - S3x04 - Candyman

58. (9) - S3x05 - America

59. (9) - S3x11 - Smooth Criminal

60. (9) - S3x12 - La Isla Bonita

61. (9) - S3x15 - I'm Still Standing

62. (9) - S3x17 - How Will I Know

63. (9) - S3x18 - Cell Block Tango

64. (9) - S3x19 - Take My Breath Away

65. (9) - S3x21 - Paradise By the Dashboard Light

66. (9) - S4x04 - The Scientist

67. (9) - S4x04 - Mine

68. (9) - S4x05 - Everybody Talks

69. (9) - S4x12 - A Thousand Years

70. (9) - S4x13 - Girl On Fire

71. (9) - S5x12 - Keep Holding On

72. (9) - S5x13 - Just Give Me a Reason

73. (9) - S6x12 - I Kissed a Girl

74. (8) - S1x02 - Gold Digger

75. (8) - S1x06 - Halo/Walking On Sunshine

76. (8) - S1x07 - Keep Holding On

77. (8) - S1x11 - Hair/Crazy In Love

78. (8) - S1x13 - And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

79. (8) - S1x13 - My Life Would Suck Without You

80. (8) - S1x15 - Like a Prayer

81. (8) - S1x16 - Beautiful

82. (8) - S1x19 - Dream On

83. (8) - S1x20 - Shout It Out Loud

84. (8) - S1x22 - Don't Stop Believing (Regionals)

85. (8) - S1x22 - Any Way You Want It/Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

86. (8) - S2x02 - Stronger

87. (8) - S2x03 - Bridge Over Troubled Water

88. (8) - S2x04 - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

89. (8) - S2x04 - With You I'm Born Again

90. (8) - S2x06 - Teenage Dream

91. (8) - S2x07 - Forget You

92. (8) - S2x09 - (I've Had) The Time of My Life

93. (8) - S2x10 - Baby, It's Cold Outside

94. (8) - S2x11 - Bills, Bills, Bills

95. (8) - S2x11 - She's Not There

96. (8) - S2x12 - Fat Bottomed Girls

97. (8) - S2x13 - Sing

98. (8) - S2x15 - Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)

99. (8) - S2x16 - Misery

100. (8) - S2x16 - Big Ass Heart

101. (8) - S2x17 - Turning Tables

102. (8) - S2x18 - Born This Way

103. (8) - S2x19 - I Don't Want to Know

104. (8) - S2x19 - Go Your Own Way

105. (8) - S2x20 - Jar of Hearts

106. (8) - S2x20 - Rolling in the Deep

107. (8) - S2x22 - My Cup

108. (8) - S3x01 - It's Not Unusual

109. (8) - S3x01 - Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do

110. (8) - S3x01 - You Can't Stop the Beat

111. (8) - S3x03 - Run the World (Girls)

112. (8) - S3x03 - Fix You

113. (8) - S3x04 - Last Friday Night

114. (8) - S3x05 - Tonight

115. (8) - S3x06 - I Can't Go for That/You Make My Dreams Come True

116. (8) - S3x06 - Hit Me with Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

117. (8) - S3x06 - Rumour Has It/Someone Like You

118. (8) - S3x06 - Hot for Teacher

119. (8) - S3x07 - I'm the Only One

120. (8) - S3x08 - We Are Young

121. (8) - S3x08 - ABC

122. (8) - S3x10 - Summer Nights

123. (8) - S3x11 - Bad

124. (8) - S3x12 - Bamboleo/Hero

125. (8) - S3x13 - Love Shack

126. (8) - S3x13 - I Will Always Love You

127. (8) - S3x13 - L-O-V-E

128. (8) - S3x14 - Fly/I Believe I Can Fly

129. (8) - S3x14 - Here's to Us

130. (8) - S3x14 - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

131. (8) - S3x16 - If I Can't Have You

132. (8) - S3x17 - Saving All My Love For You

133. (8) - S3x18 - School's Out

134. (8) - S3x19 - Love You Like a Love Song

135. (8) - S3x21 - Edge of Glory

136. (8) - S3x22 - You Get What You Give

137. (8) - S3x22 - Glory Days

138. (8) - S4x01 - Americano/Dance Again

139. (8) - S4x12 - Love Song

140. (8) - S4x14 - We've Got Tonite

141. (8) - S5x12 - Valerie

142. (8) - S6x02 - Problem

143. (8) - S6x03 - Hand in My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move

144. (8) - S6x12 - Pony

145. (8) - S6x12 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot/2009)

146. (7) - S1x01 - On My Own

147. (7) - S1x01 - I Kissed a Girl

148. (7) - S1x05 - Maybe This Time

149. (7) - S1x07 - Hate On Me

150. (7) - S1x09 - Dancing With Myself

151. (7) - S1x09 - Proud Mary

152. (7) - S1x10 - Lean On Me

153. (7) - S1x10 - Don't Stand So Close to Me/Young Girl

154. (7) - S1x12 - Jump

155. (7) - S1x12 - Smile (Charlie Chaplin)

156. (7) - S1x14 - Highway to Hell

157. (7) - S1x17 - Total Eclipse of the Heart

158. (7) - S1x17 - Ice Ice Baby

159. (7) - S1x18 - Rose's Turn

160. (7) - S1x21 - Give Up the Funk

161. (7) - S1x21 - Good Vibrations

162. (7) - S1x22 - To Sir, With Love

163. (7) - S2x01 - Telephone

164. (7) - S2x02 - I'm a Slave 4 U

165. (7) - S2x02 - Me Against the Music

166. (7) - S2x02 - Baby One More Time

167. (7) - S2x03 - I Want to Hold Your Hand

168. (7) - S2x04 - Le Jazz Hot

169. (7) - S2x05 - Damn It, Janet

170. (7) - S2x09 - Hey, Soul Sister

171. (7) - S2x12 - Silly Love Songs

172. (7) - S2x12 - Firework

173. (7) - S2x13 - Somebody to Love

174. (7) - S2x13 - I Know What Boys Like

175. (7) - S2x14 - Don't You Want Me

176. (7) - S2x14 - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

177. (7) - S2x16 - Raise Your Glass

178. (7) - S2x17 - I Follow Rivers

179. (7) - S2x18 - I've Gotta Be Me

180. (7) - S2x19 - Never Going Back Again

181. (7) - S2x21 - Some People

182. (7) - S2x21 - Try a Little Tenderness

183. (7) - S2x21 - My Man

184. (7) - S3x01 - We Got the Beat

185. (7) - S3x08 - Survivor/I Will Survive

186. (7) - S3x11 - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

187. (7) - S3x16 - Disco Inferno

188. (7) - S3x22 - Forever Young

189. (7) - S4x02 - 3

190. (7) - S4x11 - Tell Him

191. (7) - S4x13 - Nutbush City Limits

192. (7) - S4x17 - Wannabe

193. (7) - S4x22 - Hall of Fame

194. (7) - S5x18 - Doo Wop (That Thing)

195. (7) - S6x07 - All About That Bass

196. (6) - S1x01 - Can't Fight This Feeling

197. (6) - S1x03 - Mercy

198. (6) - S1x05 - Cabaret

199. (6) - S1x08 - Bust A Move

200. (6) - S1x09 - Defying Gravity

201. (6) - S1x11 - Bootylicious

202. (6) - S1x11 - True Colors

203. (6) - S1x12 - Smile (Lily Allen)

204. (6) - S1x13 - Don't Rain on My Parade

205. (6) - S1x13 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

206. (6) - S1x14 - Hello, Goodbye

207. (6) - S1x14 - Hello

208. (6) - S1x16 - One Less Bell to Answer/A House Is Not a Home

209. (6) - S1x17 - U Can't Touch This

210. (6) - S1x19 - Safety Dance

211. (6) - S1x19 - Dream a Little Dream

212. (6) - S1x19 - I Dreamed a Dream

213. (6) - S1x21 - Another One Bites the Dust

214. (6) - S1x21 - Loser

215. (6) - S1x22 - Over the Rainbow

216. (6) - S2x01 - Billionaire

217. (6) - S2x01 - Every Rose Has Its Thorn

218. (6) - S2x03 - One of Us

219. (6) - S2x05 - Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

220. (6) - S2x05 - Sweet Transvestite

221. (6) - S2x05 - Science Fiction Double Feature

222. (6) - S2x07 - Make 'Em Laugh

223. (6) - S2x07 - Conjunction Junction

224. (6) - S2x08 - Marry You

225. (6) - S2x08 - Ohio

226. (6) - S2x09 - The Living Years

227. (6) - S2x13 - Take Me or Leave Me

228. (6) - S2x13 - Baby

229. (6) - S2x15 - Animal

230. (6) - S2x16 - Trouty Mouth

231. (6) - S2x18 - Somewhere Only We Know

232. (6) - S2x18 - As If We Never Said Goodbye

233. (6) - S2x19 - Dreams

234. (6) - S2x19 - Don't Stop

235. (6) - S2x20 - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You

236. (6) - S2x20 - Dancing Queen

237. (6) - S2x20 - Isn't She Lovely

238. (6) - S2x21 - Pure Imagination

239. (6) - S2x22 - For Good

240. (6) - S3x03 - Spotlight

241. (6) - S3x03 - Cool

242. (6) - S3x03 - Out Here On My Own

243. (6) - S3x04 - Bein' Green

244. (6) - S3x05 - Uptown Girl

245. (6) - S3x06 - You and I/You and I

246. (6) - S3x07 - Jolene

247. (6) - S3x07 - Perfect

248. (6) - S3x07 - I Kissed a Girl

249. (6) - S3x08 - Man in the Mirror

250. (6) - S3x08 - Buenos Aires

251. (6) - S3x10 - Without You

252. (6) - S3x10 - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

253. (6) - S3x10 - We Found Love

254. (6) - S3x11 - Scream

255. (6) - S3x11 - Black or White

256. (6) - S3x11 - I Want You Back

257. (6) - S3x12 - Sexy and I Know It

258. (6) - S3x13 - Let Me Love You

259. (6) - S3x13 - You're the Top

260. (6) - S3x13 - Chapel of Love

261. (6) - S3x14 - Cough Syrup

262. (6) - S3x14 - Glad You Came

263. (6) - S3x15 - Fighter

264. (6) - S3x15 - Rio/Hungry Like the Wolf

265. (6) - S3x16 - You Should Be Dancing

266. (6) - S3x16 - More Than a Woman

267. (6) - S3x17 - It's Not Right But It's Okay

268. (6) - S3x18 - Not the Boy Next Door

269. (6) - S3x18 - Cry

270. (6) - S3x20 - Flashdance...What a Feeling

271. (6) - S3x21 - We Are the Champions

272. (6) - S3x21 - Starships

273. (6) - S3x22 - I'll Remember

274. (6) - S3x22 - Roots Before Branches

275. (6) - S4x01 - Never Say Never

276. (6) - S4x02 - Womanizer

277. (6) - S4x04 - Don't Speak

278. (6) - S4x04 - Give Your Heart a Break

279. (6) - S4x05 - Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

280. (6) - S4x07 - Holding Out for a Hero

281. (6) - S4x08 - Live While We're Young

282. (6) - S4x11 - No Scrubs

283. (6) - S4x11 - Locked Out of Heaven

284. (6) - S4x12 - Centerfold/Hot in Herre

285. (6) - S4x13 - Don't Stop Me Now

286. (6) - S4x13 - Make No Mistake (She's Mine)

287. (6) - S4x13 - Hung Up

288. (6) - S4x14 - Anything Could Happen

289. (6) - S4x15 - Old Time Rock & Roll/Danger Zone

290. (6) - S4x15 - Footloose

291. (6) - S4x16 - Bye Bye Bye/I Want It That Way

292. (6) - S4x17 - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

293. (6) - S4x20 - Everybody Hurts

294. (6) - S4x21 - Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

295. (6) - S4x21 - Superstition

296. (6) - S5x09 - Brave

297. (5) - S1x01 - Mr. Cellophane

298. (5) - S1x01 - Respect

299. (5) - S1x01 - Rehab

300. (5) - S1x04 - Tonight

301. (5) - S1x07 - No Air

302. (5) - S1x10 - (You're Having My Baby)

303. (5) - S1x10 - Endless Love

304. (5) - S1x15 - What It Feels Like for a Girl

305. (5) - S1x15 - Burning Up

306. (5) - S1x16 - Home

307. (5) - S1x16 - Fire

308. (5) - S1x16 - A House Is Not a Home

309. (5) - S1x18 - One

310. (5) - S1x21 - Tell Me Something Good

311. (5) - S1x22 - Faithfully

312. (5) - S2x01 - What I Did for Love

313. (5) - S2x01 - Listen

314. (5) - S2x05 - Planet, Schmanet, Janet

315. (5) - S2x06 - One Love (People Get Ready)

316. (5) - S2x08 - Just the Way You Are

317. (5) - S2x08 - Sway

318. (5) - S2x09 - Don't Cry for Me Argentina

319. (5) - S2x12 - When I Get You Alone

320. (5) - S2x12 - My Funny Valentine

321. (5) - S2x13 - This Little Light of Mine

322. (5) - S2x15 - Kiss

323. (5) - S2x16 - Jesus Is My Friend

324. (5) - S2x16 - Candles

325. (5) - S2x17 - Ain't No Way

326. (5) - S2x19 - Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept with You?

327. (5) - S2x22 - Light Up the World

328. (5) - S2x22 - Pretending

329. (5) - S2x22 - As Long as You're There

330. (5) - S2x22 - Still Got Tonight

331. (5) - S3x02 - Something's Coming

332. (5) - S3x02 - I'm the Greatest Star

333. (5) - S3x02 - Somewhere

334. (5) - S3x04 - Waiting for a Girl Like You

335. (5) - S3x04 - Take Care of Yourself

336. (5) - S3x05 - One Hand, One Heart

337. (5) - S3x07 - Constant Craving

338. (5) - S3x11 - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

339. (5) - S3x11 - Human Nature

340. (5) - S3x12 - Don't Wanna Lose You

341. (5) - S3x13 - Home

342. (5) - S3x14 - Stand

343. (5) - S3x15 - Up Up Up

344. (5) - S3x16 - Stayin' Alive

345. (5) - S3x16 - How Deep Is Your Love

346. (5) - S3x16 - Boogie Shoes

347. (5) - S3x16 - Night Fever

348. (5) - S3x17 - I Have Nothing

349. (5) - S3x17 - My Love Is Your Love

350. (5) - S3x17 - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

351. (5) - S3x17 - So Emotional

352. (5) - S3x19 - Big Girls Don't Cry

353. (5) - S3x20 - I Won't Give Up

354. (5) - S3x20 - Because You Loved Me

355. (5) - S3x21 - Tongue Tied

356. (5) - S3x21 - It's All Coming Back to Me Now

357. (5) - S3x21 - Pinball Wizard

358. (5) - S3x22 - In My Life

359. (5) - S4x03 - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

360. (5) - S4x21 - Higher Ground

361. (5) - S5x05 - Wrecking Ball

362. (5) - S5x09 - Don't Rain On My Parade

363. (4) - S1x01 - Leaving On a Jet Plane

364. (4) - S1x03 - I Wanna Sex You Up

365. (4) - S1x04 - Taking Chances

366. (4) - S1x07 - Ride Wit Me

367. (4) - S1x08 - I Could Have Danced All Night

368. (4) - S1x10 - I'll Stand By You

369. (4) - S1x10 - Crush

370. (4) - S1x11 - Imagine

371. (4) - S1x11 - Don't Make Me Over

372. (4) - S1x14 - Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

373. (4) - S1x15 - Vogue

374. (4) - S1x18 - Pink Houses

375. (4) - S1x20 - Funny Girl

376. (4) - S2x01 - Getting to Know You

377. (4) - S2x02 - Toxic

378. (4) - S2x02 - The Only Exception

379. (4) - S2x03 - I Look to You

380. (4) - S2x03 - Papa, Can You Hear Me?

381. (4) - S2x04 - Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

382. (4) - S2x05 - Touch a Touch a Touch a Touch Me

383. (4) - S2x07 - Nowadays/Hot Honey rag

384. (4) - S2x10 - We Need a Little Christmas

385. (4) - S2x10 - The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

386. (4) - S2x12 - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

387. (4) - S2x16 - Blackbird

388. (4) - S2x16 - Hell to the No

389. (4) - S2x16 - Only Child

390. (4) - S2x17 - All By Myself

391. (4) - S2x20 - Friday

392. (4) - S2x22 - Bella Notte

393. (4) - S3x03 - It's All Over

394. (4) - S3x05 - A Boy Like That/I Have a Love

395. (4) - S3x08 - Control

396. (4) - S3x09 - Let It Snow

397. (4) - S3x09 - River

398. (4) - S3x10 - Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash

399. (4) - S3x10 - Wedding Bell Blues (Bill)

400. (4) - S3x15 - Somebody That I Used to Know

401. (4) - S3x18 - The Rain in Spain

402. (4) - S3x19 - Dinosaur

403. (4) - S3x19 - What Makes You Beautiful

404. (4) - S3x20 - Mean

405. (4) - S4x05 - Juke Box Hero

406. (4) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

407. (4) - S4x07 - Superman

408. (4) - S4x08 - Whistle

409. (4) - S4x11 - I Don't Know How to Love Him

410. (4) - S4x13 - Diva

411. (4) - S4x15 - Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl

412. (3) - S1x01 - Sit Down You're Rockin the Boat

413. (3) - S1x01 - You're the One That I Want (ver. 1)

414. (3) - S1x08 - What A Girl Wants

415. (3) - S1x17 - Physical

416. (3) - S2x05 - There's a Light (Over at the Frankenstein Place)

417. (3) - S2x10 - Welcome Christmas

418. (3) - S2x10 - Merry Christmas, Darling

419. (3) - S3x01 - Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead

420. (3) - S3x08 - Red Solo Cup

421. (3) - S3x09 - Christmas Wrapping

422. (3) - S3x09 - All I Want for Christmas Is You

423. (3) - S3x09 - Do They Know It's Christmas?

424. (3) - S3x09 - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

425. (3) - S3x09 - Extraordinary Merry Christmas

426. (3) - S3x09 - My Favorite Things

427. (3) - S3x11 - Ben

428. (3) - S3x18 - The Music of the Night

429. (3) - S4x04 - Teenage Dream (Acoustic)

430. (2) - S1x02 - Push It

431. (2) - S1x08 - Thong Song

432. (2) - S2x10 - Last Christmas

433. (2) - S2x10 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

434. (2) - S2x14 - My Headband

435. (2) - S2x16 - Get It Right

436. (2) - S2x16 - Loser Like Me

437. (2) - S3x07 - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

438. (2) - S3x09 - Blue Christmas

439. (2) - S3x12 - A Little Less Conversation

440. (2) - S4x01 - Call Me Maybe

441. (2) - S4x06 - Greased Lightning

442. (2) - S5x05 - Blurred Lines

443. (1) - S1x20 - Poker Face

444. (1) - S3x01 - Big Spender

445. (1) - S4x08 - Let's Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time

446. (1) - S4x08 - Gangnam Style

447. (1) - S4x11 - Baby Got Back

448. (1) - S4x16 - I Still Believe/Super Bass

449. (1) - S5x07 - The Fox

450. (1) - S5x08 - The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

451. (NA) - S4x01 - It's Time

452. (NA) - S4x01 - Sister Christian

453. (NA) - S4x01 - New York State of Mind

454. (NA) - S4x02 - Boys/Boyfriend

455. (NA) - S4x02 - Hold It Against Me

456. (NA) - S4x02 - Gimme More

457. (NA) - S4x02 - Everytime

458. (NA) - S4x02 - Crazy/U Drive Me Crazy

459. (NA) - S4x02 - Oops!...I Did It Again

460. (NA) - S4x03 - Celebrity Skin

461. (NA) - S4x03 - The Way You Look Tonight/You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

462. (NA) - S4x03 - A Change Would Do You Good

463. (NA) - S4x04 - Barely Breathing

464. (NA) - S4x05 - Hopelessly Devoted to You

465. (NA) - S4x05 - Born to Hand Jive

466. (NA) - S4x06 - Beauty School Dropout

467. (NA) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)

468. (NA) - S4x06 - You're the One That I Want

469. (NA) - S4x06 - There Are Worse Things I Could Do

470. (NA) - S4x07 - My Dark Side

471. (NA) - S4x07 - Heroes

472. (NA) - S4x07 - Some Nights

473. (NA) - S4x08 - Home/Homeward Bound

474. (NA) - S4x08 - Come See About Me

475. (NA) - S4x09 - Something Stupid

476. (NA) - S4x09 - Being Alive

477. (NA) - S4x09 - Don't Dream It's Over

478. (NA) - S4x09 - Being Good Isn't Good Enough

479. (NA) - S4x09 - O Holy Night

480. (NA) - S4x09 - All That Jazz

481. (NA) - S4x10 - Feliz Navidad

482. (NA) - S4x10 - Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah

483. (NA) - S4x10 - White Christmas

484. (NA) - S4x10 - The First Noel

485. (NA) - S4x10 - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

486. (NA) - S4x10 - Jingle Bell Rock

487. (NA) - S4x11 - I Only Have Eyes for You

488. (NA) - S4x12 - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)

489. (NA) - S4x12 - This Is the New Year

490. (NA) - S4x12 - Torn

491. (NA) - S4x13 - Bring Him Home

492. (NA) - S4x14 - Just Can't Get Enough

493. (NA) - S4x14 - Getting Married Today

494. (NA) - S4x14 - You're All I Need to Get By

495. (NA) - S4x15 - Shout

496. (NA) - S4x15 - Come What May

497. (NA) - S4x15 - You're All the World to Me

498. (NA) - S4x15 - Unchained Melody

499. (NA) - S4x15 - In Your Eyes

500. (NA) - S4x16 - How to Be a Heartbreaker

501. (NA) - S4x16 - Closer

502. (NA) - S4x16 - The Bitch Is Back/Dress You Up

503. (NA) - S4x16 - Cold Hearted

504. (NA) - S4x17 - Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)

505. (NA) - S4x17 - My Prerogative

506. (NA) - S4x17 - Creep

507. (NA) - S4x17 - Mamma Mia

508. (NA) - S4x17 - Copacabana

509. (NA) - S4x18 - Say

510. (NA) - S4x18 - Your Song

511. (NA) - S4x18 - More Than Words

512. (NA) - S4x19 - Fight for Your Right (to Party)

513. (NA) - S4x19 - You Have More Friends Than You Know

514. (NA) - S4x19 - Outcast

515. (NA) - S4x19 - Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel)

516. (NA) - S4x19 - Next to Me

517. (NA) - S4x20 - We Will Rock You

518. (NA) - S4x20 - Longest Time

519. (NA) - S4x20 - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

520. (NA) - S4x20 - At the Ballet

521. (NA) - S4x20 - Little Girls

522. (NA) - S4x21 - For Once in My Life

523. (NA) - S4x21 - Uptight (Everything's Alright)

524. (NA) - S4x21 - I Wish

525. (NA) - S4x21 - You Are the Sunshine of My Life

526. (NA) - S4x22 - Clarity

527. (NA) - S4x22 - Wings

528. (NA) - S4x22 - I Love It

529. (NA) - S4x22 - All or Nothing

530. (NA) - S4x22 - To Love You More

531. (NA) - S4x22 - Rainbow Connection

532. (NA) - S5x01 - Help!

533. (NA) - S5x01 - All You Need Is Love

534. (NA) - S5x01 - Drive My Car

535. (NA) - S5x01 - You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

536. (NA) - S5x01 - Got to Get You Into My Life

537. (NA) - S5x01 - Yesterday

538. (NA) - S5x01 - A Hard Day's Night

539. (NA) - S5x01 - I Saw Her Standing There

540. (NA) - S5x02 - Here Comes the Sun

541. (NA) - S5x02 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

542. (NA) - S5x02 - Get Back

543. (NA) - S5x02 - Hey Jude

544. (NA) - S5x02 - Let It Be

545. (NA) - S5x02 - Something

546. (NA) - S5x02 - Revolution

547. (NA) - S5x03 - Fire and Rain

548. (NA) - S5x03 - I'll Stand By You

549. (NA) - S5x03 - Seasons of Love

550. (NA) - S5x03 - No Surrender

551. (NA) - S5x03 - Make You Feel My Love

552. (NA) - S5x04 - Marry the Night

553. (NA) - S5x04 - Wide Awake

554. (NA) - S5x04 - Applause

555. (NA) - S5x04 - Roar

556. (NA) - S5x05 - On Our Way

557. (NA) - S5x05 - You Are Woman, I Am Man

558. (NA) - S5x05 - If I Were a Boy

559. (NA) - S5x06 - Honesty

560. (NA) - S5x06 - Piano Man

561. (NA) - S5x06 - My Life

562. (NA) - S5x06 - Just the Way You Are

563. (NA) - S5x06 - You May Be Right

564. (NA) - S5x06 - An Innocent Man

565. (NA) - S5x06 - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

566. (NA) - S5x07 - You're My Best Friend

567. (NA) - S5x07 - Nasty/Rhythm Nation

568. (NA) - S5x07 - Into the Groove

569. (NA) - S5x07 - Cheek to Cheek

570. (NA) - S5x08 - Here Comes Santa Claus (Down Santa Claus Lane)

571. (NA) - S5x08 - Mary's Little Boy Child

572. (NA) - S5x08 - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

573. (NA) - S5x08 - Away in a Manger

574. (NA) - S5x08 - Love Child

575. (NA) - S5x08 - O Christmas Tree

576. (NA) - S5x09 - Whenever I Call You Friend

577. (NA) - S5x09 - My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)

578. (NA) - S5x09 - I Believe in a Thing Called Love

579. (NA) - S5x09 - Every Breath You Take

580. (NA) - S5x09 - Breakaway

581. (NA) - S5x10 - The Happening

582. (NA) - S5x10 - Hold On

583. (NA) - S5x10 - Barracuda

584. (NA) - S5x10 - Gloria

585. (NA) - S5x10 - Jumpin' Jumpin'

586. (NA) - S5x10 - Don't You (Forget About Me)

587. (NA) - S5x10 - Danny's Song

588. (NA) - S5x11 - Vacation

589. (NA) - S5x11 - America

590. (NA) - S5x11 - More Than a Feeling

591. (NA) - S5x11 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

592. (NA) - S5x11 - Mr. Roboto/Counting Stars

593. (NA) - S5x11 - I Love LA

594. (NA) - S5x12 - Raise Your Glass

595. (NA) - S5x12 - Happy

596. (NA) - S5x12 - Defying Gravity

597. (NA) - S5x13 - Loser Like Me

598. (NA) - S5x13 - Party All the Time

599. (NA) - S5x13 - I Am Changing

600. (NA) - S5x13 - Don't Stop Believin' (Season Five)

601. (NA) - S5x13 - Be Okay

602. (NA) - S5x14 - Don't Sleep in the Subway

603. (NA) - S5x14 - You Make Me Feel So Young

604. (NA) - S5x14 - Best Day of My Life

605. (NA) - S5x14 - Rockstar

606. (NA) - S5x14 - Downtown

607. (NA) - S5x14 - People

608. (NA) - S5x15 - Not While I'm Around

609. (NA) - S5x15 - I'm Still Here

610. (NA) - S5x15 - You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman

611. (NA) - S5x15 - Colorblind

612. (NA) - S5x15 - Broadway Baby

613. (NA) - S5x15 - No One Is Alone

614. (NA) - S5x16 - Addicted to Love

615. (NA) - S5x16 - Love Is a Battlefield

616. (NA) - S5x16 - I Want to Know What Love Is

617. (NA) - S5x16 - Let's Wait Awhile

618. (NA) - S5x17 - Lovefool

619. (NA) - S5x17 - I'm the Greatest Star

620. (NA) - S5x17 - Pumpin Blood

621. (NA) - S5x17 - Who Are You Now

622. (NA) - S5x17 - NYC

623. (NA) - S5x18 - Story of My Life

624. (NA) - S5x18 - Piece of My Heart

625. (NA) - S5x18 - Wake Me Up

626. (NA) - S5x18 - The Rose

627. (NA) - S5x19 - Werewolves of London

628. (NA) - S5x19 - Memory

629. (NA) - S5x19 - Lucky Star

630. (NA) - S5x19 - Take Me Home Tonight

631. (NA) - S5x19 - I Melt with You

632. (NA) - S5x20 - All of Me

633. (NA) - S5x20 - No Time At All

634. (NA) - S5x20 - American Boy

635. (NA) - S5x20 - Shakin' My Head

636. (NA) - S5x20 - Pompeii

637. (NA) - S5x20 - Glitter in the Air

638. (NA) - S5x20 - Girls on Film

639. (NA) - S6x01 - Sing

640. (NA) - S6x01 - Dance the Night Away

641. (NA) - S6x01 - Uninvited

642. (NA) - S6x01 - Let It Go

643. (NA) - S6x01 - Suddenly Seymour

644. (NA) - S6x02 - Tightrope

645. (NA) - S6x02 - Take On Me

646. (NA) - S6x02 - Home

647. (NA) - S6x02 - Viva Voce

648. (NA) - S6x03 - It's Too Late

649. (NA) - S6x03 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

650. (NA) - S6x03 - You Learn/You've Got a Friend

651. (NA) - S6x03 - So Far Away

652. (NA) - S6x04 - Rock Lobster

653. (NA) - S6x04 - Whip It

654. (NA) - S6x04 - Thousand Miles

655. (NA) - S6x04 - Bitch

656. (NA) - S6x05 - It Must Have Been Love

657. (NA) - S6x05 - All Out of Love

658. (NA) - S6x05 - Father Figure

659. (NA) - S6x05 - My Sharona

660. (NA) - S6x05 - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

661. (NA) - S6x06 - Arthur's Theme

662. (NA) - S6x06 - Wishin' And Hoping

663. (NA) - S6x06 - Baby It's You

664. (NA) - S6x06 - What the World Needs Now

665. (NA) - S6x06 - Promises, Promises

666. (NA) - S6x06 - They Long to Be Close to You

667. (NA) - S6x06 - I'll Never Fall in Love Again

668. (NA) - S6x06 - Alfie

669. (NA) - S6x07 - You Give Love a Bad Name

670. (NA) - S6x07 - Somebody Loves You

671. (NA) - S6x07 - Time After Time

672. (NA) - S6x07 - I Know Where I've Been

673. (NA) - S6x07 - Same Love

674. (NA) - S6x08 - Hey Ya!

675. (NA) - S6x08 - Our Day Will Come

676. (NA) - S6x08 - I'm So Excited

677. (NA) - S6x08 - At Last

678. (NA) - S6x09 - Uptown Funk

679. (NA) - S6x09 - I Want to Break Free

680. (NA) - S6x09 - Break Free

681. (NA) - S6x09 - Lose My Breath

682. (NA) - S6x09 - Cool Kids

683. (NA) - S6x09 - Friday I'm in Love

684. (NA) - S6x10 - Far From Over

685. (NA) - S6x10 - Rather Be

686. (NA) - S6x10 - Rise

687. (NA) - S6x10 - The Trolley Song

688. (NA) - S6x10 - The Final Countdown

689. (NA) - S6x11 - We Built This City

690. (NA) - S6x11 - Mickey

691. (NA) - S6x11 - Chandelier

692. (NA) - S6x11 - Come Sail Away

693. (NA) - S6x11 - Listen to Your Heart

694. (NA) - S6x11 - Take Me to Church

695. (NA) - S6x12 - Popular

696. (NA) - S6x12 - I'm His Child

697. (NA) - S6x13 - Daydream Believer

698. (NA) - S6x13 - Someday We'll Be Together

699. (NA) - S6x13 - I Lived

700. (NA) - S6x13 - This Time

701. (NA) - S6x13 - Teach Your Children

702. (NA) - S6x13 - The Winner Takes It All

[marlahey]

(and I'm feeling like) it was only ever you

a little voice fic pairings/characters: bess/samuel, general ensemble, ella the pupper being loved the most warnings: language, excessive sexual tension episode tags: fills in some of many gaps between 1.08 sea change and 1.09 sing what I can’t say cause I got wine drunk instead of finishing this before the finale as planned. +post-finale rating/warnings: explicit. read: resolved sexual tension aka les sexy times.  lyrical title courtesy of: part of me – by the coast (watch their fanvid set to this song and prepare to cry)  notes: so @brilligbraelig told me there was no fluffy fic in the tag, which– sorry. we’ve been in sad time hours for WEEKS and I blame the writers for never giving bess a moment’s peace. I’ve never really been one for cavity-inducing sweetness, not because I don’t love some pure joy, but as a writer I’m always a little more interested in the messier moments that just enough longing brings. if the question is ‘how many times do bess and samuel need to share a bed?’ the answer is yes.   this is for the samuel and bess protection squad on twitter (join us!) for being the coolest group of people ever throughout this wild ride, and also for @missgoalie75 and her love of colton’s bedroom eyes.  p.s: sometimes I ignore capitalization rules at will because of the vibe. 

*

bess is tired.

saint c’s is quiet tonight; al shoos her away from the bar with a stern, surprisingly fatherly firmness and hands her a tray of shots. she blinks at him. there aren’t any parties of four left. he points at samuel, prisha, and benny loitering at the back of the club until she finishes. bess doesn’t follow. al sighs. “go have one with your friends on me, okay kid? i swear, watching you stress out sometimes is gonna give me an ulcer before my next birthday.”  bess stammers a thank you and walks off with the alcohol before he can change his mind. she should apologize, she thinks. he’s been nothing but kind to her despite all the ways in which bess is hardly employee of the month right now. she should start an apology tour at the table, where prisha’s head is thrown back with laughter at something benny is saying, his hands outspread. these people are too good to her and she doesn’t deserve it, sometimes.  samuel notices her first (like always it seems), tracking her progress across the room. he tilts his head, a silent okay? and she moves her mouth in an approximation of a smile. his own lips quirk, like he’s trying to smother a laugh. she should be annoyed; she’s just grateful they aren’t fighting anymore— or worse yet, that it’s weird.  they still haven’t talked about that night. samuel seems perfectly content to pretend it never happened, except for the way he touches her with so much more ease than before— like he no longer has to hesitate before he’s pulling her in, taking her hand, squeezing her shoulder or the bend of her elbow in a way that’s more reassuring than bess can really describe.  maybe there’s a song in there somewhere.  “special delivery,” she announces at the approach. “drink fast, before al regrets giving us these.”  “my man, my man,” benny croons. “we love you boss!” he calls, twisting to find al rolling his eyes from behind the register. the shots clink on the tabletop. bess hesitates, just a second, before leaning in to toast prisha. samuel’s eyes meet hers again over the rim of his glass. she tosses her head back before she can overthink any of it. “anyone want another?”  benny and prisha grin; samuel shakes his head. bess does the mental math back to her last meal. one more certainly wouldn’t tip her over, but she’d be a fool not to recognize her own unsettledness. she springs for second shelf tequila; al smacks her hand away from the limes she’d cut herself not two hours ago.  “no reaching over, you know that.” the closing porter pours and dishes lime and salt with disinterested, immaculate practice. bess presses an extra five into his hand and gets a silent tap on the inside of her wrist in thanks. she’s not normally into the whole process of tequila, but benny enjoys it. something silly in bess hopes that the bursting sting of lime will just wash all her chaos away. by the time she’s tilted her head back down a second time, samuel’s eyes are sliding away. her throat is curiously warmer than liquor normally manages. it feels like she’s caught him at something.  “earth to bess!”  “hmm?”  prisha looks amused, damn her. “you up for it?” “up for what?” benny’s smile is equally conspiratory.  “dancing?” her first instinct is god, no. she and prisha haven’t gone dancing in what feels like years— bess still has a fake ID from the one and only time they snuck into a club at 19 years old, skipping the bar entirely for the pulsing beat of the dance floor. but she deserves this, doesn’t she? after everything? everyone’s looking at her now, probably expecting her to say no (samuel’s definitely expecting her to say no), and maybe bess needs another shot after all because, “sure.” tumbles out of her mouth before she can stop it. prisha and benny high five. samuel’s muted surprise is oddly delightful; bess wants to keep pulling it out of him, suddenly. “you coming too?” she asks. it’s not supposed to be a challenge but he raises one eyebrow as though bess had just asked him to duel. “well i’d be lame if I said no now, wouldn’t i?” that settled, bess excuses herself to grab her things from the back room. when she returns, benny is chatting with their night porter as he divides tips. she has to swallow an anxious lump before she can walk over.  “hey.” “hey.” he returns her tentative smile and she hates herself. “ready to go?” “i’m sorry,” bess blurts. “about the other night. i was so awful to you and you were just—” “bess, hey.” benny’s hands land on her shoulders. “don’t worry about it, okay? i know you have a lot going on right now.” “that’s not an excuse,” she insists. “you’re just being a good friend and a great manager and i shouldn’t have bit your head off for...” for not letting me give up. shame locks the words in her throat. how is it that she was the first person to let go of her own dream? bess has to take a deep breath. “i’m just really sorry.” he just looks at her for a long moment.  “if i forgive you,” benny begins gently, “will you forgive yourself?” the question feels like a sucker punch.  “cause i do, bess.” she can’t remember the last time one of her dearest friends was so serious. “i forgive you, and you gotta forgive yourself now cause we got work to do, yeah?” good god, do not cry. “okay.”  “okay.” benny pulls her into a hug, squeezing tight. “we got you girl, alright? i told you, we’re in this together.” those are familiar words. bess lets them wash over her. how had she forgotten? where had she let herself fall that her friends couldn’t pull her back into the light?  “c’mon.” bess accepts her saint c’s envelope with a grateful smile and benny steers her out of the club, his arm around her shoulders. “there’s fun to be had tonight.” “let’s go, bess!”  she lets prisha drag her forward, laughing despite herself and looping her arm through her best friend’s as they head out into the warm night air.  “where the heck are those boys?” prisha asks at the next corner. benny and samuel of course, are following at a more sedated pace to her one track mind. bess catches samuel’s eye and he smiles in that crooked, amused sort of way she hasn’t seen in ages— not since they shot more love, it feels like. relief is such a strange feeling for the moment, but there it is.  * bess isn’t tired anymore. she has no idea when she became such a homebody (though louie’s social worker may thoughts) but her exhaustion from the day seems to disappear the moment the bass finds a home behind her ribs. prisha presses a tiny glass into her hand and bess doesn’t think.  the vodka sears on the way down. it makes her gasp a little, like a livewire shock to the system. bess can only look up to see samuel wave from the bar before benny’s dragging her onto the floor; she loses sight of him in the crush of bodies and the pulse of the music carries her away.  samuel’s still there, some two or three songs later. just before they lock eyes, bess notices something very serious in his expression, something she can’t put into words fast enough, that draws a strange shiver from the base of her spine.  then he smiles, familiar laugh lines and narrowed eyes, and it’s gone.  bess remembers the way he’d so easily coaxed her into a silly dance set to their own music. have things gotten so strange between them that they could never go back there? not if she has anything to say about it. “I’m not drunk enough yet,” he objects, but his fingers close around hers even as he says it and she knows she’s won. samuel follows her so easily back to benny and prisha– like he’d follow her anywhere maybe, if she asked, and then suddenly bess is the one not quite drunk enough—  and then the beat pulls them in again.  it’s silly at first, just like before. at one point samuel and benny do the chicken dance to a hip-hop song and bess thinks she might die with laughter. she presses against prisha, hips and shoulders. her best friend spins her out; bess nearly stumbles but samuel is there, catching her by the elbows, drawing her in with that same teasing smile that had eased her nerves on that warm summer afternoon. she can see the memory of it reflected in his eyes. bess wants to fall into it headfirst. she steps closer just as samuel pulls her in; her hand lands on the back of his neck; his fingertips slip under the hem of her top and brush the shy skin of her hip.  samuel pauses, like a silent question, until bess coaxes his body back into the swaying rhythm with her own. her head feels heady, her body overwarm almost, but bess doesn’t want to stop because there it is again, that serious look— bess wants— “dance, dance, dance is my lung—”  “fuck no!” the moment—or whatever that was—grinds to a halt. samuel laughs so hard that she can feel his shoulders shaking. for several seconds they just look at each other, then over at benny who’s having the time of his life, and then bess is doubling over too.  samuel leans close to be heard over the din. “drink?” his breath brushes her ear and bess tries not to shiver, nodding enthusiastically in a vain attempt to cover for herself. they’ve lost prisha and benny to the worst song ever, so samuel keeps a firm grip on her hand as they snake their way back to the bar.  there must be some kind of special on shots tonight. bess can only stare at a bartender pouring no less than twelve in a perfect row for a huge group of women. one is wearing a tiara and white sash. that trying not to laugh smile tilts samuel’s mouth while they wait their turn. the sardine pack of people presses them together from hip to shoulder but he doesn’t seem to mind. the bar curves around in a skinny oval, drinks being served on either side. as servers slide back and forth, bess notices a guy looking at her from across the way. staring, more like it. the glint in his eyes makes her stomach turn. before bess can glare, turn away, or even shudder, samuel’s arm slides around her. his fingertips trace the curves of her rings on the bartop— affectionate, possessive almost. bess turns her head and samuel winks before leaning forward to touch their foreheads together. “pretend i just told you something hilarious.” his mouth hovering over hers is almost too distracting— his free hand pinches her side to help her along and giggles jump out. bess doesn’t resist when samuel tightens his grip and pulls her closer against him. he presses his mouth to her temple just above her ear. “he’s gone.” bess does shudder now, though for a different reason altogether. “thanks.” samuel just squeezes her once before releasing her. their shots arrive finally, amber liquid glowing strangely in the light.  “still good?” he asks, and bess nods firmly. “still good.” she meets his eyes as she brings the shot to her mouth. samuel is still looking at her when she puts the glass back down. inside her, it seems. “c’mon.” he says. samuel looks almost fond now. bess blinks; a trick of the light? is she that tipsy already? “we’d better go find those two.” she just takes his hand and follows.  * bess is... well. she’s not sober.  benny had waved goodbye from an uber outside the club. they’d made it three quarters of the way to the subway station before ananya had called, quickly devolving into an impassioned conversation and prish too, vanished into a cab and promising to call when she got to her— girlfriend’s? house.  “have fun you two!”  and now: “i’m fine, sam.”  his mouth twitches. “don’t think so, b.”  yikes, she hates that. bess rolls her eyes, pointing at her station stairway. “you’re literally going in the opposite direction. it’s like...” she has to look at their cross streets and do the math. “eight stops. at the most.” samuel nods. “all about figure eights. love an even number. let’s go.”  bess knows she should just let this go and stop being so stubborn. but something in her just can’t be stopped. samuel sighs, dragging her by the elbow across the sidewalk, out of the way of a clearly aggrieved businessman who disappears down the steps.  “bess. just tell me something.” it’s hard to meet his eyes, intent as they are. “would you let prisha take the train home by herself tonight? if you were going... I dunno, home with me?”  her stomach flips, surprising, terrifying, thrillingly pleasant. it’s all the shots.  samuel’s ears go pink under the glow of the streetlight. “you know what i mean.” she’s stubbornly quiet; he ducks his head, refusing to be deterred. “bess.” “ugh, no. of course not!” “because you think she can’t take care of herself?” bess rolls her eyes. “she’s my best friend, you know that. it’s just what you do.” “right.” she hates the way samuel’s looking at her now, the way he had when he’d laid all her fears out bare in the close space of his apartment: so certain and so kind. “so why do you think i’d let you take the train home alone?” for a moment, she can only stare. maybe it’s the alcohol, but samuel has never quite looked so vulnerable. bess doesn’t have the right words (maybe there aren’t any) so she just drags him forward by the shoulders. samuel exhales sharply, a faint laugh in her ear, but he wraps both his arms tight around her— an embrace that somehow feels more intimate than their pretence from hours before. bess endeavours not to think about it too much. “c’mon bestie,” she says when she pulls back. samuel does laugh fully this time, wide enough to show his teeth. bess thinks back to the night of their first gig, the sound of his valerie chasing hers in echoes. it’s a wonder anyone’s more stubborn that she is.  samuel ushers her down the stairs with a sweep of his arm and bess laughs too. *   bess loves her dog. she’d convinced samuel he should probably come in for water, or tea, maybe an advil. ella had poked her head out from bess’ room and when she turns around from her perusal of the fridge, bess finds samuel fully sitting on the floor, ella laying between his legs, stroking her head. “who’s my sweetest girl?” he coos.  her heart something funny inside her chest. samuel looks up, his obvious joy so bright in the dim light of the kitchen and bess is nearly choked with the possibility that she’d nearly pushed him too far away to ever see it again.  “bess,” he says, his cheeks dimpling, “her ears are so soft. like, they’re the softest thing i’ve maybe ever felt in my life?”  wonder of wonders.  she can only nod in emphatic agreement. how many shots have they had?  “you’re lucky,” samuel continues, still making ella’s night by never stopping in his affection. bess’ eyes get stuck on his hands, the motion of his fingertips and the turns of his wrists. “my parents never let us have pets and my building doesn’t allow them either.”  “you know ella would love if you came over and pet her all the time.” she gets that muted surprise again, which melts into something bess isn’t sure how to name.  “would you like that, el? hmm?” he leans down to kiss the top of the dog’s head. “wanna spend more time with uncle samuel?” how is it that her most loyal companion is somehow more intimate with samuel than bess is? and why on earth would she ever have a thought like that? “so,” she says, maybe a bit too high-pitched for her own liking (ella looks up at her and bess wants to glare), “we have water, tea, popsicles, half a bottle of jack.” samuel laughs and shakes his head. “i thought we were sobering up?” bess shrugs. “so, popsicle?” he laughs again and it warms her inexplicably all the way to her toes.  they have water, following ella into bess’ room, toeing out of their shoes when she jumps onto the bed. the dog puts her head on samuel’s lap and stares balefully up at him until he resumes his gentle stroking. bess leans back against her wall. she’s looking at ella and pretending she can’t feel the heat of samuel’s gaze on her face. if she thinks too hard about it, bess remembers wishing she could share a moment like this with someone else. she doesn’t regret anything that lead her here, but something in her is too afraid to meet samuel’s eye, like he’d be able to read the truth of that in her face and that she’d have somehow ruined tonight, this quiet moment of warmth and contentment. she leans her head on his shoulder and he turns his cheek into her hair. when bess finally looks up, samuel’s face is vey close.  is he looking at her mouth? is she leaning?  “are you drunk, bess?” he asks softly. she stops. considers. “yes. you?” samuel’s smile is a little rueful. he nods. “i should go.” bess understands. it’s late. they’re tired and inebriated. he has to go all the way back to his. they almost... and yet she says, “stay.”  he blinks. “what?”  this might be a terrible idea. “stay.” “but—” she rolls her eyes. “what makes you think i’d let you go home alone either?” the surprise is plain now. he looks that almost-vulnerable again. bess is oddly satisfied. “are you sure?” it’s strangely hard to keep his eye even as she points out, “we’re fine, right?” he nods again, a little slower. “and it’s not like we’ve never shared a bed.” when bess finally manages it, samuel’s gaze is very soft. “true.” and just when she thinks he’s going to refuse her still, he says, “okay. thanks.” how do you tell someone out that you just don’t want to be alone out loud?  thankfully samuel doesn’t make her voice it. he just smiles as bess gathers something approximating pyjamas and crosses the room. “sorry i don’t have anything that would fit you,” (he snorts and she’s warmed) “but you know, make yourself comfortable however. come get a toothbrush from under the sink.” and so that’s how they end up side-by-side in the cramped bathroom of her and prisha’s apartment, brushing their teeth. samuel makes faces at her in the mirror and it should be strange, to be t-shirt and shorts/boxers open with him. but he’s seen down into the root of who she is, so isn’t all this less? he’s humming something familiar as she washes her face, catching her surprised reflection.  “it’s yours.” bess casts her mind back. “from–” “that first night, yeah.” she nearly drops her face towel. bess has never shown him that song. samuel shakes his head with a chuckle, a familiar you’re a weirdo. “it would be just like you to play something that gets eight bars stuck in my head for months and never sing it again.” “i...” bess can’t pinpoint a reason besides her own fear, like a karmic penance for one of the most humiliating nights of her life. “i can’t believe you remember.” there’s a truth in his eyes that neither of them are willing to admit they can see.  “wanna work on it?” she asks impulsively, determined now to redraw a better memory, “maybe tomorrow?” samuel’s grin is so wide it’s almost hard to take in all at once. “this mean you’re gonna actually do that open mic?” bess shrugs. she needs to escape this tiny room all of a sudden. “maybe.” he doesn’t push her further and she’s grateful. samuel hesitates at the edge of her bed as bess pulls up the cover.  “oh my god, just get in the bed samuel.” and he does. their knees touch. bess turns out the light but there’s still just enough to see him looking at her. drunkenness has made her warm and sleepy.  “what?” “for the record,” he says, “i know what i think of you.” it feels like they’re teetering on an edge. “cool grandpa?” they laugh so hard that ella jumps from the foot of the bed. samuel looks so fond that bess doesn’t know what to do with herself. “yeah. that’s it.” “night samuel,” she whispers.  “night bess.” * (she wakes up before the sun, tangled up in him.  for once, rather than overthink it, bess just closes her eyes and goes back to sleep.) * bess can’t stop smiling. before she could even look at samuel after getting offstage, benny had lifted her off her feet and proceeded to all but bulldoze everyone in the club to get her in front of jeremy’s record label contact. could he tell that she’d just been kissed within an inch of her life? it feels like it’s written all over her face. bess can barely remember what she said, but his personal contact card is currently burning a whole though her purse. al buys them a round. (she finds ethan lingering in the back. what he says to her is somehow a surprise and not both at once. what she says to him, in the end, feels long overdue.) prisha insists everyone come back to their place to celebrate, and they pile into ubers. louie exalts her as a true artist the entire ride and even phil seems impressed. true to form though, he’s a roledex of weather facts as bess and prisha frantically pull out every candle or flashlight in the apartment; their lights flicker ominiously every so often as the storm beats down their windows. benny puts a playlist together and tries to order pizza. by some miracle, it actually arrives; everyone pools together for a 150% tip. so it feels like ages before bess looks up to find samuel leaning against the alcove of her living room, watching as louie begins a spirited debate on the best numbers in hamilton.  bess nods her head toward the door of her bedroom. she’s expecting him to make a silly face with his eyebrows or hesitate, but samuel’s mouth just curves up on one side, like that’s all he’s allowing himself, and follows. “for the record,” he says as the sounds of the party fade a little behind them, “the answer will always be satisfied. no contest.” god, how had she never seen him before? her bedside lamp is still working. bess fishes out a pale white whale from childhood, one that changes colour as you tap. she grins at samuel, who’s leaning against her closed door and smiling like he’s not even sure what to make of her.  “you’re incredible, you know that?” her face heats, pride and embarrassment both at once. “so are you. i can’t believe we got through that song.” “all you, bess.”  she wants to roll her eyes, but refrains. “the electric was a great idea.” samuel’s eyes drop when he smiles; the familiar humility in it reminds bess of the reason she wanted to talk to him in the first place.  “i know what you did tonight. before you showed up.” he looks up then, a little sharply. samuel’s always had a good poker face but bess can see it still, that guarded look. “what did i do, bess?” saying it out loud makes her feel like she’s in a movie. bess steps forward. “you told ethan to come. for me.” “are you upset?” “no. i just want to understand why.” samuel’s gaze is as steady as it’s ever been. “i just want you to be happy.”  she feels unraveled, somehow.  “then why did you...” even in the poor light, he flushes. “why did you kiss me?” samuel looks at the floor, then back at bess. her heart beats in double time. “he didn’t show, or so I thought. and I didn’t want to...” he laughs lightly, almost at himself. “throw away my shot. I guess I wasn’t really expecting you to—” try to press him into the wall? “to kiss me back, or even what that might mean, but I wanted to show you, or tell you that—” she’s close enough to touch him now. samuel’s hands cup her elbows, very gently, like he needs to ground himself. but he looks bess right in the eye. “even if you didn’t want me, i’d choose you first. every time.”  her heart free-falls.  “bess.” he squeezes a little, catching her eyes. how long have they been standing in this moment of after? “please say something.” “i told him we couldn’t work,” she says in a rush. “and i don’t even know if it was really because you and I—” bess stumbles but samuel hangs on, his grip on her unwavering, “but i think part of me always knew it was just...like, a fantasy? we barely even knew each other and i always hated myself a little for being that girl trying to steal someone else’s partner and i wasn’t dealing with any of my shit until—” samuel just waits. the realization feels too big, but there’s no going back now. “until i met you.” he looks almost stricken. bess lets out a strange, wondrous kind of laugh. she puts her hand on samuel’s chest. she’s the one who needs steadying, now. he draws her closer without looking away from her face, like he’s helpless to it.  bess can’t remember the last time she felt so sure of anything. all those those expressions that always felt hidden in his eyes seem so plain, now: surprise, fear, hope. “i choose you, samuel. though i probably don’t even deserve to.”  she can see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. samuel’s hand brushes her hair back away from her face, tracking the curve of her ear. just before she’s about to freak out, he asks, “are you drunk, bess?” she nearly laughs. “no. are you drunk, samuel?” he shakes his head. she understands that serious look, now. it’s wanting. he wants her.  samuel goes to pull her the rest of the way in— “bess!”  louie’s voice and a loud knock on the door springs them apart. the lights go out.  “bess, we’re going now. and the lights are out. do you have a source of light in there? are you coming to say goodbye?” samuel lets out a long, low “fuck.” she has to clap her hand over her mouth. his nearly silent laugh ghosts over her skin as he presses his face into the curve of her neck.  (samuel kisses her there, just once, but it’s enough that her knees tremble a little and she can feel the shape of his smile too.)  “i’ll be right out!” bess calls to her brother. his shadow moves away from the door. hysterical giggles shake her shoulders. samuel’s hands slide up to hold her face. “do you wanna—” “come home with me.” she can barely make out his features in the dark (except for the want) but bess’ stomach drops anyway. the irony of no electricity is funny when she feels like sparks might burst from beneath her skin.  “okay.” * bess is deliriously happy. samuel puts down his guitar and barely lets the door close before he’s pressing bess against it with both hands. his palms are heavy and warm on her hipbones; bess wants to rock up against him but there’s a certain thrill in it, how strong he seems.  she has no idea the last time she was kissed like this.  despite how fierce it feels, samuel lets her lead. he doesn’t open his mouth until she does, touches his tongue tentatively against hers at first pass, tugs so gently on her lip with his teeth until she makes a noise like a whimper.  she should tell him maybe, that samuel made her completely forget herself, back in the alcove at saint c’s. but then bess just lets her hands find their way back into his now slightly damp hair. she’ll just relive it instead. she scrapes her nails over his scalp and samuel’s breath comes up short; it returns in something that sounds like a groan, or a snarl, and oh.  bess has to take deep breaths of her own when he pulls back, a wide-eyed glance to her face to make sure she’s alright. she can only nod. samuel’s fingertips squeeze her waist as some of that urgency seems to fade from his eyes. he trails his mouth slowly from her lips to her jaw; she tilts her head instinctively to give him room and samuel finds that same spot on her neck from her own bedroom.  his teeth and tongue press a little harder than before; he gets a gasp for his efforts. her legs feel unsteady again. bess grabs at the open sides of his button-down until samuel shrugs out of it. it drops to their feet. he doesn’t protest when bess pushes him gently, walking backwards across the apartment with his arm tight around her.  he doesn’t let go when his legs meet the edge of his bed. bess would fall into him if not for samuel keeping them upright. he drops to sit, pulling them apart, and finally bess has to take stock of herself. samuel’s face is so open, his smile so wide in a way she’s never seen before.  “still good?” he asks. bess nods.  “still good?” samuel laughs lightly. “i’m great, bess.” he reaches for her hand, his thumb brushing each of her rings in turn. “we can stop whenever you want.” she’s the one standing but bess feels smaller, strangely. instead of replying, bess steps out of her shoes. samuel’s eyes seem to darken as she slides her jacket from her shoulders and lets it pool on the floor. bess leans down and brings one knee to the bed, by his hip, balancing herself with one hand on his shoulder. samuel’s inhale is impossibly loud as he instinctively supports her with a sliding grip up the back of her thigh. bess’ skirt isn’t that short but she’s glad she didn’t trade it for jeans before she left. samuel’s face betrays how pleased he seems by her choice.  once she’s finished effectively straddling him, bess looks down from her perch.  “hi.” samuel’s knuckles stroke up and down her leg. goosebumps ripple and he smiles. “hi.” bess takes his face in both her hands and leans down as samuel tilts his chin up to meet her. she’ll never tire of kissing him. it feels like she can’t get close enough; he must have the same idea because his arms wrap around her back until bess is sitting firmly in his lap, their hips slotted together.  “can i touch you?” samuel asks against her mouth. bess nods, maybe too quickly, but she can’t bring herself to be embarrassed.  guitar callused fingers slide beneath her top. samuel reaches the slim band of her lacy bralette. he pauses, but bess leans into his hand and then he’s tracing the curve of her breast. his thumb brushes a little roughly over her nipple; bess feels an abrupt ache between her legs. “that seems pretty,” samuel murmurs in her ear, like a casual observation. “it’s a matching set,” she replies, trying not to sound too breathless. “for luck.” he pulls back with wide eyes. bess wants to laugh but she’s too busy dealing with this rush of blood to her face. she sits up carefully so they don’t knock heads and reaches for the edges of samuel’s t shirt first; he drags it over his head in one smooth, practiced motion. shit, he’s hot.  he’s staring as bess unfolds herself to stand back on the floor (her legs are still unsteady but he doesn’t need to know that) and goes to pull off her own shirt. samuel’s eyes don’t leave her face until the fabric coming over her head pulls her from view. when bess blinks him back into focus, he’s gone a little slack-jawed. she nods at his jeans and the speed at which samuel divests himself of them has her biting back a giggle. bess’ face feels hot but there’s a frisson of pride that straightens her spine. she’s not even half an arm’s length away from him. samuel touches her stomach, just above the waistband of her skirt. “can I?” bess has to swallow before she can nod. just like before, samuel stares at her face until the last half of her outfit joins the rest of their clothes in a heap. samuel’s eyes trail from her eyes to her feet and back. it takes everything in bess not to fidget. she expects to see heat in his expression but there’s only wonderment and tenderness.  “fuck, you’re so beautiful.” she has no idea what to do with that. samuel tugs her into his lap this time, intent. his kiss is searing. bess rocks into him, just once, just a little. that grip on her thighs returns, tighter. bess can only gasp a laugh into his mouth when samuel stands, holding her up against him, and turns to lower her with a kind of breathtakingly slow care onto his bed.  bess lands on her back, samuel now the one leaning over her. desire coils low in her stomach. he gently shifts her hips so they’re both actually parallel with the long edges of the comforter.  she feels inexplicably, unbearably, fond of him.  then samuel looks away. he exhales, like he’s embarrassed.  bess frowns in concern. “what is it?” samuel shakes his head. “when you look at me like that, I can’t catch my breath.” oh. it feels so strange to be the steadier one. bess reaches for his cheek, drawing samuel’s eyes back to her. “guess you’ll just have to distract me, then.” he laughs, but then as he leans down, samuel’s smile fades and bess remembers. he wants her. she can feel it. his hand slides, pleasantly rough, over her skin, sliding beneath the band of her bralette. bess seizes samuel’s lip in her teeth as he strokes back over her breast. he teases her nipple and the moment bess manages to wriggle out of the garment and tosses it away, samuel’s swapped his hand with his tongue, her other breast now teased by his clever fingers. she gasps again and she can feel him smirking. samuel diverts his mouth’s attention to her other side. bess focuses on her breathing. the storm still lashes against the windows but it feels like nothing compared to the roaring in her blood. bess slides her fingers up the nape of samuel’s neck and a few things happen at once: samuel’s free hand finds the damp junction between her legs; bess pulls his hair a tiny bit harder than intended; his teeth catch her nipple with just enough firmness that bess’ back nearly arches off the bed, along with a keening noise she didn’t even realize she could make. samuel freezes immediately. he looks up and bess has no idea what her face looks like, but all she can say is, “do that again.” he leans back down, his teeth scraping over her other breast; when he tugs, bess does too, so hard that samuel hisses.  “sorry,” she pants, “sorry.” he shakes his head, a firm denial. it might be the dark, the lightning, or the fact that bess is so fucking turned on, but samuel’s expression has veered far past wanting— into hunger. he practically leaps back up to her mouth, a kiss so fierce that their teeth nearly clack together. “your hands,” he says, like it enrages him almost, “in my hair, holy fuck.”  oh was right. “you’re one to talk about hands,” bess retorts. “can you please just–” samuel leans back. “can i please just what?” he looks smug the bastard. it would be like them to bicker in the middle of sex, wouldn’t it? but his tone is so serious when he says, “tell me what you want, bess.” that she has to squeeze her thighs together.  “please touch me.” “where?”  bess is going to kill him. samuel touches her cheek with surprising gentleness, and kisses her there. “here?” he does the same to her neck. “here?” her shoulder. he marks the valley of her breasts, the slope of her navel, the jut of her pelvic bone. “samuel,” bess says. it sounds like a plea but she doesn’t care. she can only reach his shoulder now, the back of his neck. he may have shivered but she can’t tell because she’s too busy trying to keep it together.  he finally finds the elastic of her underwear.  “okay, bess?” this question isn’t a joke. bess makes sure to meet samuel’s eye; the mixture of that desire and care makes her dizzy. “yes. please.” when his fingers have finally slid inside her, bess says “samuel,” at a level of breathlessness she only ever gets when she sings. he touches her with the same care and confidence as he does any of their instruments, until her legs tremble; samuel finds a beat with his tongue against her clit that’s so good bess has to cover her mouth when she comes.  samuel crawls back up the bed towards her. he leaves a kiss on the inside of her knee, and her shoulder, just an inch or two from where he had the first night she’d stayed here. bess feels very safe, suddenly.  “still good?” samuel asks again, a more raw edge to the question this time. bess can only affirm silently as she leans up a little to kiss him. she can taste herself in his mouth, can feel the weight of his arousal against her. bess presses up and samuel groans.  heat pulses again between her legs. “do you want,” bess starts, putting her hands on him, straining against his boxers. samuel’s whole body seems to twitch. he pulls her wrists away though with a bruising kiss.  “i’m just dying to be inside you, if that’s cool.” her stomach flips.  “very cool.” samuel smiles and goes willingly when bess rolls them over. he reaches blindly into a bedside drawer. bess catches sight of a pair of glasses and makes a mental note to ask about them when her mind’s not currently so occupied.  “shit, are these even in date?” samuel squints at the packet in his hand. “god, have i not had sex in this long?” bess can’t help but laugh. they giggle their way through confirming the expiry date, getting rid of samuel’s boxers, and rolling on the condom in the dark. for a moment they just look at each other. bess hasn’t ached like this for anyone in a long time.  “tell me what you want, samuel.” his adam’s apple bobs as he sits up. “c’mere.”  samuel pulls her forward and bess lifts her hips to line them up. he swallows her tiny gasp as she sinks down onto him; it’s been a while for her, too. samuel anchors her with one hand splayed across her back, waiting silently until bess has adjusted to the stretch.  bess rocks down experimentally and he makes an almost strangled noise in the back of his throat. a soft kiss lands on her forehead, a starkly tender inverse to nearly everything that’s happened so far, and maybe even to what they’re about to do. it settles bess and breaks her open both at once.  “okay?” he asks carefully. she nods, wrapping both her arms around his neck. “you’re amazing, you know that?” samuel murmurs over her lips. his own hips swing up towards hers and wow. “bess.” she was right, before. he’s strong.  they get a rhythm going quickly enough, like another harmony that comes so easy. the angle has bess’ clit pressing with beautiful pressure against samuel’s pelvis; she clenches down just as he thrusts up. he curses and it just stokes that flame hotter inside of her. after a certain point bess can’t even speak anymore. she has both her hands in samuel’s hair and he’s latched back onto the curve between her neck and shoulder, teeth and tongue and words like, fuck and tight and good and bess— “samuel i—” he looks up at her face like he wants to commit it to memory.  “bess.” and she’s gone again. * when they’ve caught their breath and tidied up, bess and samuel find themselves side by side in his bathroom, a sweet reflection of that night from weeks ago. she’s glad she thought to bring her toothbrush. samuel keeps staring at her in the mirror.  “what?”  does she have toothpaste on her face? he just shakes his head, the way he does when he laughs to himself.  “nothing. you just look better in my t-shirts than i do.”  bess rolls her eyes but her face feels hot anyway. “weirdo.” it feels good not to have to wonder as they head back to his bed. samuel drags her immediately towards him beneath the covers, his cool hands greedy beneath her borrowed sleepwear as her back curves against his chest. he plants a minty kiss above her shoulder-blade where his shirt’s slipped down. bess shivers and he leaves another on the back of her neck. “sorry,” he murmurs, and bess flips around to look at him.  “for what?” the storm broke finally, and amber light of the street through his windows feels just as safe and warm as it had before. but samuel is the one who seems afraid, now.  “i don’t want to freak you out.” “you’re not freaking me out,” bess insists. “tell me.” samuel hesitates. bess reaches out to touch his face.  “hey. i don’t scare that easy either, you know.” he exhales a faint laugh. it’s so rare to see samuel seem unsure, or fragile. it makes bess feel thrillingly off-centre.  “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to stop wanting you.”  she’s falling.  “and not just—” samuel nods vaguely at their general closeness. “this. i mean all of it. the music, your family, everything. i know it’s probably a bad idea to start things with bandmates or whatever but i just—”  bess doesn’t let him finish. she can only pour all her affection for him into a kiss, taking samuel’s huff of surprise in her mouth even as he reaches for her waist to pull her closer, then on top of him.  when she pulls away he seems a little dazed.  “you make the bad days okay,” bess says firmly and samuel smiles with such near-adoration that she understands it now, that loss of air. “so we’ll figure it out, okay? one day at a time.” samuel nods. “okay.”  and he pulls her back down. * bess wakes up with words in her mind.  samuel’s grip is so tight that at first she doesn’t think he’ll let her go. but bess manages to slide away, picking up his hand gently and lifting his arm. she looks at his sleeping face and kisses his knuckles.  samuel’s lips curve a little and if she looks too hard she could be in love with him already.  she knows where he keeps blank sheet paper in his production area. bess finds a pen and a coffee table book about new york parks; she sits on the edge of the bed to scrawl, humming to herself.  she doesn’t realize he’s up until a familiar press of lips lands on her neck. bess will never stop shivering and samuel will apparently never stop smiling about it.  “hi,” he mumbles. his voice is low and gravely with sleep. bess files that away under the list of things that does something to her. samuel hooks his chin over her shoulder and bess lifts her work to accommodate his arms sliding around her waist. “new idea?” bess nods. “thinking about what you said to me.”  she’s circled can’t catch my breath at the top of the page. samuel goes very still. it feels like it could crush them, the weight of this kind of intimacy. but at least bess doesn’t have to carry it alone. “wanna write with me?”  she turns her head to look at him; samuel’s surprise will never not be thrilling.  “will you let me add a back beat?”  he’s already reaching for his guitar. bess laughs.  “i could maybe be persuaded.” the way his eyebrow lifts makes her stomach jump. “duly noted.” (they do finish the song, eventually.  the morning just gets away from them first.) 

[timextoxhajima]

HOSTIS, Chapter XVII.5: Inevitabilis, Inevitable

HOSTIS PLAYLIST: WONHO - LOSING YOU

Previous Chapter (XVII: Et Universum Parallel)

Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz) 

Genre (by chapter): drama, angst

Category: Short Novel/Long Series

Dana’s A/N: this is a special piece written by @vxstarlightxv​ who has been feeding me ideas to fuel this story. i did not write this chapter, i only merely proof-read it/gave her tips etc, but otherwise the beauty of this chapter will never be able to be my own original work.

P.S: if you’re emotional, please keep a box of tissues with you 

“there is no escape from you, not now, not ever. you are inevitable.”

The day the kids at school start calling you Ares is the day Hyunjae loses faith in humanity. You are a spineless, low-life coward, who hardly deserves to be bestowed with the same title as himself. Yet here you are, acting as though you were worth being on the same plane as him.

He hates you. Oh god, he truly does.

He remembers the way you fucked him over so well and thoroughly, and in front of the whole school that too. Granted, he may have screwed with your equipment, but maybe if you didn’t suck so bad you wouldn’t have failed.

Blaming him for your shortcomings. How typical.

But showing Minhee ​that picture of the accidental kiss (that meant ​nothing​) for the sole purpose of destroying his relationship? That was a bitch move right there. So he has no regrets when he posts a cleverly edited picture of your lab teacher with his girlfriend. None at all. In fact, the sight of your tears when that himbo Younghoon dumps you is something that brings him delight.

His heart definitely did not twist when he saw you cry, because he definitely does not care. You hurt him, and it’s only fair that you’re hurting too.

Nonetheless, he is pleasantly surprised at how fast you bounce back. His breakup with Minhee was a huge watery mess, and he cannot help his grudging admiration for your strength when you power through your own with Younghoon.

It is only admiration, for he definitely still hates you.

When the time comes to choose a medical school, he chooses the one that seems the furthest away from you. But fate hates him, so after 4 years of respite, he is dumped back on your doorstep as your fellow intern in the neurology department.

Of all the fucky coincidences.

~~~

Ares is a brutal god. He is the fire of war, wild and relentless.

Hyunjae is furious when he finds out you’ve stolen his report, but he’s not surprised. Not when he would’ve done the same thing. Then again, he was kind of hoping you would leave him alone. Naturally, you’ve done the opposite. He wonders if his emotional response is a little… disproportionate, given the situation, but he’s not going to let you fuck him over like this and escape unscathed. He isn’t a fucking pussy, your thoughts on the matter be damned.

Silly little kitten. Put your paws in the fire, and watch the heat bubble your skin.

He is simmering as he bangs on your door. He hears you screaming some nonsense about your mother, but he’s too pissed to process anything. You open the door, face falling as you see him. He cannot help but reach out a hand and grab you by your pretty throat.

He shoves you into the house, fuelled by the magnitude of his anger. You’ve hurt his pride, made a fool out of him in front of Dr Kim. He wants to shred you to pieces, get you on your knees and rip the apologies from your mouth.

Tonight you will understand why the other gods fear the wrath of Ares.

 ~~~

Hyunjae replays the encounter in his head as he drives home. He has never once considered you as anything but an enemy. But today, something of seismic proportion has shifted in your dynamic.

The flutter of your lips against his, like butterfly wings on a flower. The warmth of your chest against his in a tight alcove, hiding from Dr Shin. The way you felt when you took him in, the way you cried when he hit every single spot that made your toes curl. The way you purred when he called you kitten and mewled as you fell apart on his cock.

In retrospect, he hopes that he didn’t hurt you. He usually likes to stick around for aftercare, but he didn’t want to ruin your pride even more. You’d already been dealt with a devastating blow, and he didn’t want to make it worse, regardless of how big of a dick you think he is.

(Ring, ring)

The sharp blare of his ringtone shatters the silence of his ride home. He glances at the screen, smiling when he sees the caller id.

“What’s up, Juyeonie? Are you finally back?” Hyunjae is thrilled to hear his best friend’s voice. Juyeon is very busy these days, being a commercial pilot and all, so these rare moments they have with each other are more precious than gold.

“Hey, hyung! Yes I am! On that note, are you free next Friday? Let’s get drinks and catch up!” Juyeon sounds so eager and hopeful that Hyunjae can’t help but say yes, no matter how packed his schedule might be. The rest of the conversation proceeds pleasantly, and he is happy to forget the day’s drama.

It is only when he reaches home that he realises that the thought of you has never quite left his head.

~~~

“So what happened? The last I heard, she left you high and dry in JFK.” 

He watches as feline eyes crinkle with delight at his question. His friend launches into a happy tirade about his mystery girl, going on and on about fate and chance encounters and love lost and found. Hyunjae listens carefully, admiring the way Juyeon has changed. He wonders for a moment if he'll ever experience something as profound as Juyeon has, will ever wake up one day knowing that his heart sits in the palms of another person, and will not fear the idea.

The image of your eyes dancing with wicked laughter arises unbidden, and it punches the breath out of him.

He is jostled out of his thoughts when a hand lands on his thigh. It is so abrupt, so sudden that he all but jumps out of his skin.

“Long time no see, stranger.”

Choi Minhee is standing in front of him, batting her mascara-painted eyelashes at him seductively. She is as pretty as ever, with her delicate collarbones and anime-girl eyes.

But she is not you.

The thought is so dreadful and unsettling that he cannot help but flirt with her the whole night in order to get it out of his head.

When have you become anything but an annoyance, anything but a pest that’s been shoved down his throat?

It is pleasant, talking to someone who he hasn’t met in a long time. He remembers her fondly, despite how miserable their parting was. Minhee is soft and kind, a gentle cherry-blossom compared to your ever-burning inferno. She complements him well (not perfectly, because only ​one​person does), and for a second he feels white-hot annoyance at you for fucking him over in this regard. Hyunjae cannot help but wonder if they would have been married by now had you not intervened with that photo. Would they be living the white-picket fence dream? What would their kids have looked like?

All he can see are children with your ash-brown hair and his almond eyes. The image causes his gut to clench so tightly that he wonders if something inside him might have cracked open.

“Have you and Y/N gotten together yet? I figured that after we broke up the two of you would end up going out. You were always kinda obsessed with each other.” The question jolts him out of his reverie. Juyeon, who has been listening politely so far, decides to insert himself into the conversation.

“Yeah, hyung. The two of you have always had something special, right? What was that stupid nickname we gave you? Paris and Helen?”

The irony is not lost to him. Enemies, being compared to the two greatest lovers of all time. A face that launched a thousand ships, a blaze of love that destroyed a nation. Only fools succumb to Aphrodite, the cruelest of the divine hosts.

“Ares and Ares. And for fuck’s sake, I will never be attracted to that hag. You won’t believe what she did at work last week-”

Hyunjae misses the knowing look Minhee and Juyeon exchange. He’s only seeing you.

~~~

If there is one thing that Hyunjae hates, it is surprises. So he really, really hates it when he sees you flirting with the intern as though ​he ​doesn’t exist.

The day had actually started off pretty well. He came into work feeling all pleased with himself. Not only did he break you down, but he also figured out a solid way to keep you in line. You were reacting beautifully to his taunts, and seeing you unable to walk made something vicious inside him preen.

And then, before he can breathe, you are making stupid cow-eyes at the snot-faced little intern as though he created entire galaxies in your honour.

How dare you, honestly? You’re wearing ​his ​hickeys on your neck, limping and ​sore because ​he​ripped you apart last night. How can you even ​think​of flirting with another man? Are you doing this on purpose, to get some semblance of power back?

This is not jealousy. It definitely is NOT jealousy because that would mean he would have to be attracted to your hideous hag face. No, it was an issue of pride. And no, he definitely was not deluding himself right now.

Nonetheless, watching Eric help you into his car after work makes him want to vomit.

~~~

It is the party incident that truly knocks it into his head. He spends the entire night seething over your flirtations with Eric, with even ​Sangyeon. He glares at you, but you pretend to not see, and it shoves him off the edge.

Why won’t you look at him? A room full of people, but you are the only one he sees. So why aren’t you seeing him too?

He reminds you that night, who is the only one who knows how to pick you apart, snap you in half. He reminds you who is the only one who can make your body thrum and vibrate, who is the only one who can coax tears from your eyes and pleasured sobs from your throat. But he is also tender with you after, because under that diamond-hard exterior is a heart wrapped in silks and satin. Hurting you is the last thing he wants to do.

It is only when he wakes up alone in the morning that he realises that maybe, just maybe, he wishes he could see you in his bed again, hair spilled across the sheets as your breathing slowly evens out into slumber. He wants to coo over your keening wails, drink the moans from your mouth.

A thought, fleeting and profound, surfaces.

He wants you to be his.

~~~

He goes to work on Sunday with iron resolve. He has spent the entirety of Saturday thinking hard about you, and the relationship you shared with him. The line between obsession and infatuation is a thin one, one that the two of you have been dancing on for 10 whole years. When did his foot slip? When did the late nights plotting revenge mutate into candied dreams of your lips, of your body, singing for him?

But of course, who else could it be? You have always been, will always be, his forever other half.

Ares and Ares, locked in their death dance. But when did Ares become Aphrodite? War has become Love, and Love has become War.

Somewhere along the way, something has gone wrong. At some point or the other, he has forgotten the hatred that sizzled through him like blazing poison. He has forgotten that you are annoying, that you are competitive, and that you get revenge in the sleaziest ways possible. He has forgotten everything, because all that remains is the way your smile looks like a flashing ray of sunlight, like a tendril of shimmering starlight. All that remains is the sound of your wind chime laughter, the softness of your small hands on his heated skin. All that remains is the memory of how good you are for him, how addictive the juxtaposition between your submissive sweetness in bed and your fiery heat outside of it is.

So he decides that he is going to make you his. Granted, the order of things was completely wrong, but he would fix it. He would cook you dinner, press kisses onto your cherry mouth, and then love you till morning comes. And then he would repeat it every day, till the day the two of you are cradled in the eternal embrace of death.

Surely, surely you reciprocate his feelings? How can you not, when your body weeps for him the way it does?

He likes to think you do, when he admires the way your eyes flutter closed when he steals kisses in the pantry. He likes to think you do, when you stay four hours past your shift and order takeaway for him. He likes to think you do, when you dangle Eric in front of him in order to get him to fuck you ​hard,​just the way you like it.

You are his, now.

~~~

Hyunjae’s love for you grows like tender flowers. It starts off small, but grows into something lovely and heartbreaking. You have carved your way into him, nestling against the walls of his heart and beseeching him to let you in with your stupid almond eyes.

He loves your stupid almond eyes.

He is on a cloud these days, brimming with affection that lights up his every step. He never considered himself to be one of those annoying, lovey-dovey honeymooners, but he can definitely see where they get their joy from.

Lovers alone wear sunlight.

You become his greatest delight. When you are around, even dust seems to sparkle like a thousand tiny diamonds. He loves waking up with you, your eyes half lidded and neck covered in his marks. He loves to see you in his clothes, smelling of his body wash, smelling of ​him.

(He has an extra special fondness for the days in which you are soft and pliant, allowing him to dress you like a doll. It makes his internal organs feel like they are tumbling over each other, and it makes him a little giddy. He loves taking care of you.)

But if he really had to pick a moment, he supposes he loves you most when you are with your patients, hands calm and steady and strong. It reminds him of everything beautiful there is about his profession, and he cannot get enough.

You are beautiful, in all the ways there are to be beautiful. You race through him like lightning, and he is sucked further into your orbit everyday. You carry his heart with you (inside yours), and you are never without it.

So he is overflowing with love when he picks you up and tastes your peach-covered mouth. He is overflowing with love when you smile at him with a sort of lightness that he's never quite seen directed at him before. He is overflowing with love as he goes to your favourite cafe one day to pick up the chowder you never stop talking about. Tonight, he will ask you to be his girlfriend, make this tentative little dance official.

Perhaps that is why the pain is so exquisite when he sees you with Younghoon, and hears you talking about Eric with such tenderness in your eyes.

“​He’s super enthusiastic and there’s just something about him that’s so... comforting. I see him and I think about nothing but sunshine and warmth and laughter. He’s just... so cheerful, compared to whatever i’ve been used to.​​” Something inside him shatters into a million jagged pieces when he hears the words, and every breath becomes as a blood-drenched ordeal.

Sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine and warmth and laughter. The words ring like alarm bells.

Fool. Naive, hopeless fool. You were never really his, were you? You might be the light by which his spirit is born, you might be his sun, moon and stars, but he? He is your nothing. He is the shadow that is birthed of your radiance, forever connected and forever forgotten.

Is this is why storms are named after people? You have destroyed him in the sweetest of ways. Is this taste of heartbreak? Rust coats his tastebuds. Is this how tears are born? The agony is magnificent and all-encompassing. There is nothing left for him here. He has never been enough, never will be.

He leaves quietly, chowder forgotten.

~~~

It is truly repulsive, the fact that he can see what you adore about Eric. The intern is strong and sweet, kind in all the ways Hyunjae is not. He is soft and mellow, and will cool your scalding tantrums with gentle words. He will not stir up the embers of your fury the way Hyunjae does, hoping for a reaction. He will be tender with you, gently laying you out and coaxing your body to sing. He will not be harsh and hard and possessive like Hyunjae, claiming you with bites and bruises and writing his possession into your blood.

He has been measured, and he has been found lacking. Eric is the perfect Hephaesthus, a sweet spring dandelion, and it is no surprise that Zeus will give you to him.

Aphrodite never belonged to Ares, after all.

“Hey, Eric! Do you have a moment?” By some miracle, his voice doesn’t crack.

“Hey, hyung! What can I do for you?” Eric is as mirthful as ever, and Hyunjae wishes they weren’t fighting over the same girl because he might actually ​like the​ intern otherwise.

“Have you gotten Y/N’s number yet?” He pauses to watch the bashful amusement dance across the intern’s face, and waits for the head shake he knows is coming. “Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but she’s very into you. So here’s her number, and make sure you call her, alright?” The teasing lilt he’s going for comes off more as a hoarse croak, and he realises belatedly that he really needs to be less of a shit actor.

“Thank you so much, hyung! But hey, don’t you hate Y/N? Why are you helping her out?” The intern offers him a cheeky grin, and all Hyunjae wants to do is knock his teeth out. But he’s a ​professional,​so he offers Eric a tight smile (read: grimace) and says “Well, maybe I’m hoping you’ll distract her from work so that I’ll get the promotion first.” He tosses a wink in for good measure, before reaching out to ruffle Eric’s hair with a certain sadistic pleasure.

That’s thirty minutes in the bathroom gone down the drain. But that’s what he gets for stealing Hyunjae’s girl.

Of course, because Eric is quite literally an angel who can apparently do no wrong, he gives Hyunjae a sweet smile and rolls away happily in his chair, high off his excitement at finally getting the girl he’s been after for ​ages.

And then Hyunjae is left alone to drown in self-loathing.

Hyunjae is clearly a masochist who likes to hurt himself, so that’s why he decides to tell you to meet him at the carpark after work. One last time, he’ll be the one to drive you home, the one who kisses you goodnight.

He promises he’ll let you go after this.

~~~

The car ride is as quiet as ever. You enjoy being left alone with your thoughts, and Hyunjae isn’t about to interrupt you when he’s being pummeled by his own.

The Japanese once made up a fictional disease to describe the horrors of unrequited love. They call it ​Hanahaki​, in which flowers grow in the lungs of the victims, causing them to cough up petals when they suffer from one-sided love.

He supposes that it is the exact feeling that he feels now. His love for you coils in his chest, choking leaves and thorns that crush his internal organs. It is rooted so deep that it might never leave, killing him softly but surely. The petals tickle his throat in an insidious kiss as he chokes on his desire for you, their softness a poisonous taunt of your lips against his, a feeling he might never know again.

“Are you okay?” Your voice is a balm to his wounded heart.

Of course he’s not okay. He’s in love with you, but you’re not in love with him. He knows that he is nothing without you, and that knowledge is somehow everything.

All this time he wanted to make you his, but you have made him yours.

He cannot form words, so he looks at you, really, really looks at you. He memorises the contours of your face, the slender bone of your nose, the tilt of your eyes, the exact shade of red your lips are. He'll hold every little detail close, remember the last night you're his and his alone, because tomorrow Eric will ask you out and his Aphrodite will never be his again.

He wants to pretend like the sudden moisture in his eyes is surprising, but he can't lie to himself anymore.

Liar, liar. Ares is a liar.

Is this how Lucifer felt when he fell from heaven? You are life, you are life and light and everything bright. And he is cold, dark and alone. He has fallen from grace, and all that is left are the coiling tendrils of hubris keeping his spine straight and gluing the shattered pieces of his heart together. He is heartbroken, but he will clench his teeth and grit through it. Your joy is worth it. His ego won't let him fall apart. He's stronger than this. Isn't he?

Break my heart. Break it into a thousand pieces and then some. It was only ever yours to break anyways.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Anyways, we’re here now. Get out already.” Your scoff is musical. He is aching and he is broken, so he does not have the strength to resist the screaming in his head to steal one last kiss from you. He luxuriates in the feeling of your petal-soft lips against his, before pulling away reluctantly.

Everything is more beautiful because the two of you are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. You will never share this moment again.

“Goodbye, kitten.”

The words are far more permanent than he likes. You don’t hear them.

His tears run as he pulls out of your driveway. He allows himself one last look at you, confusion blossoming on the face he once swore was hideous but now haunts his every moment.

Love is fire. It burns as much as it warms, and he is the poor fool who allowed himself to get scarred.

~~~

Crossing the line from enemies to lovers was a wheeling drop of ecstasy and biting kisses. Crossing the line from lovers back to co-workers is a study in heartbreak, and Hyunjae doesn't know how much longer he can handle it.

How do I forget you? I've tasted your secrets on my lips and drank the whispers of your body. You are the weakness in my bones and the hollowness in my lungs. How do I cleave my soul from yours, when you are the drum that my heart beats to?

It is an awful sort of pain, feeling his chest cave in when he watches Eric roll over to you from his cubicle. You find him cute, it's obvious from the way your eyes crinkle like little stars when you regard him.

Look at me. Look only at me.

You look up, searching for his eyes like you’ve heard his prayer. You're expecting jealousy, disdain, fury. You're expecting him to drag you to the pantry, to call you ​kitten ​and kiss you till you bleed. But Hyunjae has no more poison to offer you. He is empty, and all he can do is give you a blank look. He hopes you will be happy, silently wishing you the best.

Hephaestus gets Aphrodite, and all Ares can do is watch. Bloody, brutal Ares is never the winner.

His lack of response throws you off. By now, you are used to his hissy fits, his seething rages. But who is he? What right does he have? You are not his to rage over, or his to claim. You might wear his marks on your neck, but you are definitely not ​his.

How he wishes you were. But wishes are like pixie dust, and this is no fairytale.

The rest of the day is agonising. His body is so keenly attuned to yours now, and he doesn’t know how to rewire himself. He keeps a cool distance from you, but every molecule in his being roars in fury at the forced detachment.

He misses you already.

You continue to press him, trying to push his buttons and rile him up. Hyunjae studiously ignores you, hoping his coldness will further fray the ropes holding up the fragile bridge of a relationship that the two of you have developed. You are looking at him with a strange mix of anger, disdain and annoyance. For a second, he thinks he might even see-

Is that? Could it be? Longing? Do you miss him like he misses you?

Wishful thinking. That’s what it is. But it hurts so bad that he decides that he’s just going to avoid you from now on, until he finds a more appropriate coping mechanism than simply crying like a toddler when he can’t get his way.

Maybe he should call Minhee, and try to rekindle-

He cuts the thought off before it dredges up more painful memories. All he can see when he thinks of Minhee are the one-thousand-and-one different ways you exceed her.

You’re fiercer, with more spine. You don’t give in as easily. You’re not afraid to fight with him. You have a kinder heart. You are so much smarter. Your lips are softer. Your hand fits into his so much more perfectly. You are lovely in all the ways she never was, never will be.

It is a numbing, novocaine relief when Dr Choi summons him for rounds. If Hyunjae is left for even a second longer with his thoughts, he might just spiral into a pit of depressed longing and self pity that he might never emerge from.

Mighty Ares, on his knees. Aphrodite’s laughter perfumes the air, irresistible and menacing.

~~~

He is on his final round when he meets Mrs Kang. The kind, old lady takes one look at him, eyes lighting up with knowledge that he wishes she wasn’t able to glean so easily.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Well he doesn’t, but the words explode out of his bleeding heart like ink spilling on ivory pages.

“I... I thought that it would be okay, that I could forget and let go and that it would all be fine and good but then… I saw her--” his voice cracks miserably as a lump etches itself into his throat. His heart is racing, and every inhale feels like swallowing glass shards.

“I saw her and something went terribly wrong because I couldn’t forget and my heart was remembering and I felt like I was dying but I couldn’t do anything because all I want is for her to be happy and I know that happiness isn’t with me and I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.”

Mrs Kang is silent, regarding him with a look he can’t quite decipher. He takes it as an invitation to continue.

“I wish I was him. I wish I was the one who could make her smile, make her laugh. But I’m angry, I’m jealous and I’m immature. I’m overly competitive, and I don’t know how to lose graciously. When I’m pissed, I do stupid, radical things.”

Silence. Inside, outside. It is deafening.

“Why would she want me? I don’t deserve her, and knowing that I’ll have to live my life watching her in another man’s arms is ripping me apart.”

He’s breathing hard, like he just ran a marathon. It’s a terrifying prospect, facing his feelings head on. Until now, they were swirling around his head in an ugly tangle of emotion. Verbalising them, hearing them out loud, is painful and cathartic at once. But he’s already feeling like a pathetic little sap. He wonders if you would sneer at him if you heard. Is this what it feels like to lose? Is this how you felt, lifetimes ago, on your sofa? The two of you have always been push and pull, a forever impasse. But today, you’ve finally shoved him off balance.

Who is the stronger Ares now? Your kisses are his kryptonite.

A hand comes to rest over his.

“Love always finds a way. I know you’re feeling hopeless now, but know that if you are meant for each other, you will always find your way back,” Mrs Kang finishes with a gentle smile. The pretty words do not reassure him.

If only love was as perfect as love seems to be, if only his flaws and broken edges could be hidden away. But this is a dream that will never come to life, a flower that will never grow to bloom.

She does not know who it is that he is fighting with, who it is that is slipping away from him with every passing second. She thinks that it will be okay, but she does not know that Ares has no mercy. He expects none from you. Nonetheless, he gives her a watery grin in return before standing up to complete his rounds. He may have lost, but he has enough composure to know better than to break in public.

It is a monumental effort, holding it together.

Hyunjae makes it to the lift in peace, stepping in through the shiny doors and slamming the button for the fifth floor. When they slide open, the sight before him makes his heart drop like a wineglass.

You and Eric are standing across him, hand in hand. Eric’s foot is tapping impatiently, eager to drag you off to wherever he was taking you for dinner.

For a second, he loses control over his emotions. Agony crumples his face, and you, because you’re just that smart and just that perceptive, register it. He doesn’t have the heart to pretend anymore.

Hyunjae brushes past the two of you, ignoring your questioning look, ignoring Eric’s cheerful greeting, and most importantly ignoring the writhing in his chest. He goes straight for his briefcase and shoves his belongings in, flicking the lights off and rushing to the carpark. He does not want to see anyone. He does not want to process anything.

He is empty. So, so empty, and hollow. The void inside him threatens to consume him whole.

The moment he reaches home, he goes straight to his spirits. There’s a bottle of whiskey sitting in the top most shelf of his kitchen, a birthday gift from his father. He pulls it down, slamming the glass decanter onto the kitchen counter, and the pressure nearly cracks it open.

He remembers the sight of you pressed up against this very counter, squirming under his ministrations. He remembers your lips fall open in a sigh, and then to beg. He remembers standing between your thighs, feeding you and then licking cream off your lips. Memories swirl through his head, cutting through his ribcage and slicing his heart open.

He doesn’t bother to grab a glass, pouring the scorching liquid down his throat. It claws at him, and he welcomes the pain.

Love is cruel, love is cold. When it kills, it does it slow.

He knows the tears are coming. The pressure has been building in his head for the last twenty-four hours. They fall as he walks over to the living room, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

The mirror you clutched when you moaned wretchedly, promising him that HE was the only one who could ever ruin you this way.

He lifts the bottle, forcing himself to look his reflection in the eye as he drinks a toast to Eric. ​Here’s to you, buddy.

His reflection sneers back, bloodshot and desolate. A half of a whole, incomplete. This is what he is without you.

Hyunjae sinks to the ground, bottle thumping down on the carpet. It rolls once, twice, and rivulets of alcohol splash across the floor. Another memory lunges up.

There is nothing more striking than red on white. Blood on snow. Wine on cream skin, tracing paths his eager tongue follows. A hiss of anger that softens into a sigh.

The sofa smells like you. The study smells like you. You are everywhere, and it breaks him, tearing a wail of grief out of his chest.

One day, the smell of you will fade. You will slip between his fingers like the wisp of a dream, and all he will be left with is the recollection of the fleeting seconds you were his and his alone.

Too much. This is too much. He cannot think, he cannot see, he cannot ​breathe,​without being haunted by you. You are in every orifice, in every nook and cranny and cell. You are in the water of his blood and in the porous hollows of his bones. You are in the fibre between his atoms, you are in the electricity racing across his neurons. 

There is no escape from you, not now, not ever.

You are inevitable.

(Knock, knock)

It takes him a moment to realise that the pounding is not from the blood rushing in his head, but from someone impatiently banging on his door. He picks himself off the floor, not bothering to fix his appearance.

By now, you must be in Eric’s arms. He would kiss you softly, like summer rain. You would sigh into his lips, and he would look at you like you hung the moon. He would take you home, and press more kisses into your silk skin as he whispers his love. One day, he would get on one knee and present you with a diamond. You would say yes, because Eric is sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine. Warmth. Laughter.

This, this is what you deserve. Not him, not his twisted mess of anger and jealousy. He is a stinging scorpion, and you deserve more than his petty poisons. But his heart still lurches at the thought of you, nestled into Eric.

The gods have always feared Aphrodite more than Ares. He thinks he can finally understand why.

He swings the door open, and once again forgets how to breathe, forgets how to think, forgets that he kinda hates you but now kinda loves you because there you are, raindrops glistening in your eyelashes, and you eclipse every star in the sky. There is nothing but you and you alone, and his withered little heart is shooting to life because ​that’s just what you do to him. There’s so much he wants to say, so many thoughts tumbling through his head. But he’s a frightful, useless coward, so all that flies out of his mouth is:

“Why the fuck are you--”

And then your lips are cushioned against his, kissing the venom out of him. He cannot help the sigh he breathes into your mouth at the way your body slots so perfectly against his.

Home, home is in your arms. He has been running all his life, and you have always been his only destination.

Tears slip out, hot and fast, washing the festering wound inside him clean. The cracked pieces of his soul begin to lift up and fuse together.

The light of a thousand suns slices through the void in him, and the darkness melts like ice on a hot summer day.

He is shuddering, wrecked by the sheer ​force​ of the emotions in him. But you are holding him tight, so very tight. He hopes you will never let him go. ​Never ever, ever let him go.

He is yours, and you are his. Where he ends, you begin and where you end, he begins. There is nothing else, no one else, because there was never anyone for him but you. Love not at first sight, or even the second, but at last sight and at ever and ever sight.

When you finally pull away to murmur the words he would have never even dreamed of hearing from you, it’s like starlight is filling the dusty hollows of his chest, sewing the pieces that have fallen apart back into the tapestry that is you. He is surprised, he really is, but something inside him has always known, has always clung to the hope that you would choose him, despite everything.

All that matters, is that you’ve come back to him. You are the only truth he’s ever known.

~~~ 

Later in the evening, when the two of you are spent from your love-making and coiled so tightly that your breaths have become one, Hyunjae takes a moment to contemplate the situation. You have won this competition between the two of you. You have planted yourself as first in his life, and for once (​and of course, the only time ever, because he is still going to get that damn promotion before you)​, he is happy to cede to you. This is what love is, to break and to be broken, to be full and to be empty, to win and to lose. He would have it no other way. All that he is, and all that he will be, center around the axis that is you.

Do you feel like this too? Like your heart is bursting from the seams?

You sigh in your sleep, seemingly agreeing. He loves you so much, it hurts. But there is one final thing to do.

He lifts his head to the stars, who have been waiting for this collision of souls for a long, long time.

Thank you, he whispers.

And for once, Zeus smiles down on his Ares.

ENDING THOUGHTS:

First of all, a very big thank you to everyone who made it to the end!! This piece has been a wild, emotional ride from start to finish and I understand that the sudden change in style can be jarring for some. As such, I am very grateful to everyone who took the time to read it :)

Hyunjae has always been a very complicated character. We’ve seen him through Y/N’s eyes for the last 17 or so chapters, and she is definitely not the most reliable of narrators. Many of her thoughts regarding his actions and motivations are shadowed by her own negative emotions, and he has come off as a rather poisonous character, except for the rare moments of tenderness he seems to show. Hopefully this will help you get a glimpse into Hyunjae’s psyche, in a way that is untainted by Y/N. I’ve seen many of your asks about Hyunjae and his behaviour, and perhaps you will see this as a sort of redemption for him, in the sense that he is so much deeper and complex than the seething neanderthal Y/N sees him as.

Writing this was a challenge nonetheless, and I think we should all be very grateful to Dana for powering through Y/N and Hyunjae’s story, given how much of a hot mess this couple is! It’s very hard to write an enemies-to-lovers fic without it coming off as corny and shallow, and she had the double struggle of writing that dynamic in a medical setting. The fact that we’re all whipped for these two is testament to her brilliant writing, so let’s all say a big thank you for that :))

Before I end, I’d like to pay homage to some of the writers that have inspired this fic. Reading through, you will see quotes inspired by the likes of Nabokov, Cummings and Homer. If I’m not wrong, there’s a little bit of Sarah J Maas and Caitlyn Siehl in there as well. And of course, who can forget the little bits of mythology peeking out here and there? If you happened to notice these references, feel free to scream in Dana’s ask box! It’ll be fun to read your thoughts :)

Once again, a very big thank you for following Hostis so devotedly, and showering Dana with your love. I hope you’ll continue to give her all your love and support the rest of her works.

(P.S Did anyone notice Pilot! Juyeon? If you didn’t, you should 1000% check out his story too, here.)

Love Always,

V

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter XVIII: Renuntiatio

[the-delta-42]

Stressed

Based on This Post by @lenoreofraven

Update 19/07/2022: Edited things and replaced the brain aneurysm line with a stroke, as strokes are more likely to be brought on through stress. When initially writing this, I got a stroke and a brain aneurysm mixed up. I'll probably revisit the brain aneurysm idea at a later date.

Stressed

Marinette was staring at the pile of paper in front of her when it happened, a sharp, sudden pain in her head. Marinette groaned and placed her head in her hands. The class went quiet, Lila scowling at the sudden interruption.

“You okay, girl?” Asked Alya, frowning at Marinette.

Marinette gave a small nod and waved everyone off. Lila continued with her story, but some of the class were still looking back at her. Marinette’s vision went blurry, making Marinette rub her eyes, which only increased the pain in her skull. Marinette’s neck was stiff, as if Marinette had slept on it wrong. Marinette let out a small huff, getting the attention of the class again. Ms. Bustier finally clocking that something was wrong.

“Marinette?” Asked Ms. Bustier, concerned, “Is everything alright?”

Marinette sluggishly turned her head to face the teacher.

“Wha-” Said Marinette, her left eyelid drooping. Marinette suddenly gagged and threw up on the desk in front of her, before swaying slightly and collapsing, losing consciousness as she fell. Lila’s eyes gleamed with delight.

Adrien swore, quickly rushing to her side, while Ms. Bustier called for an ambulance. Adrien tilted her head around, trying to see if she had hit her head in the fall.

“What’s going on?” Cried Rose, as Marinette started jerking.

“She’s having a seizure, by the looks of it.” Said Max, everyone oblivious to Lila scowling.

“Are you sure she isn’t faking?” Questioned Lila, getting incredulous looks from the class, “She could just be doing this to get attention from Adrien.”

Nino shook his head, “No, if she was faking, I don’t think she’d hurl, especially since she hates throwing up.”

Lila frowned, “But she said-”

“What did she say?” Demanded Alix, glaring down at Lila.

“W-well,” Lila started lying, “she said that I was to stay away from Adrien, since he was hers and-”

“Lila will you please, shut up.” Growled Adrien, giving the Italian a fierce glare, “Can you stop lying for five minutes, at least so we can help her?”

Everyone was silent, Adrien was usually quiet, the silence remained until the Paramedics arrived and carted Marinette away, only questioning Ms. Bustier regarding the symptoms Marinette showed before her collapse.

One spoke into a walkie-talkie, “15-year-old female, Asian-Caucasian ethnicity, possible stroke.”

The class remained silent as they left with Marinette. Everyone was silent, until Alya quietly looked up what it was and dropped her phone when she saw the result. Everyone jumped as Alya started crying, the bespectacled girl not being one to cry openly.

“What! Alya, what’s wrong?” Asked Nino, frantically.

“What wrong is that there is a chance Marinette’s going to die.” Said Adrien, plainly, leaning back in his seat, “And if she doesn’t, she’s not going to be the same.”

*S*

Adrien quietly set his bag down in his room. He had said nothing to Nathalie, his Bodyguard and his father. Adrien knew that Marinette was having a stroke from the start, he’d witnessed one of his tutors suffer one when he was eight, he didn’t see them again, but he was told that they would no longer be teaching him.

From what Adrien knew, anything could cause a stroke and it could happen anytime and anywhere. Adrien vaguely heard Nathalie call him for dinner, automatically, Adrien got up and sat at the table, mindlessly eating his food in silence and then dismissing himself up to his room.

Gabriel sat stunned, usually Adrien noticed his presence immediately and would continuously try to initiate small talk. But today, Adrien barely acknowledged him, remaining in silence throughout the duration of the meal. Piano notes started floating down through the house, Gabriel identified it as piece by Beethoven, before the sudden noise of a group of keys being hit at once cut the music off. Adrien started playing another piece of music, only for it to end the same way. The cycle of music then clangs continued for the next couple of hours before it stopped. Gabriel slowly looked at Nathalie, who shrugged and pretended to look busy on her tablet. Gabriel assumed Adrien had gone to bed and went up to his lair, intent on Akumatizing someone.

Adrien remained in bed, quietly waiting for his father and Nathalie to go to sleep, before quietly creeping around the mansion and going into his father’s office. Adrien started rummaging around the desk and draws, looking for his father’s bank cards, finding nothing, before going over to the safe hidden behind his mother’s portrait. It took his a few tries to figure out the new combination, but he was able to get it open.

Adrien peered into it, spotting a tablet and his father’s bank and credit cards next to it. Adrien thought the Tablet had the details of the cards, so he took it and the credit cards out and quickly closed the safe and tidying up to hide the fact he had been rummaging around. He then left the office and snuck back into his room, shoving the cards and tablet into his bag before jumping into bed.

He hoped Ladybug wouldn’t be angry that he skipped out on patrol.

*S*

Adrien made sure he put the tablet and the credit cards in his bag before heading out the door, he got into the back of the car waiting for him. He was glad that neither his father nor Nathalie checked his bag before he went out.

He met up with Alya and Nino on the steps of the school, Alya’s eyes glued to her phone. The three started to make their way to class.

“Marinette’s had another stroke.” Mumbled Alya, her voice quiet and scratchy, “They say she’ll survive if she’s lucky.”

Adrien gripped his bag, his knuckles popping as he did. He looked over towards the Bakery, noting that it was closed.

“Marinette’s parents are at the hospital, aren’t they?” Asked Adrien, equally as quiet.”

“They haven’t left her side.” Confirmed Nino, looking down, “They’re hoping for some kind of response from her.”

The three enter the classroom to find Alix being restrained by Kim and Lila on the floor, blood pouring from her nose.

“What the hell?!” Exclaimed Nino, staring at the group.

“That, that bitch tried to claim Marinette was bullying her.” Snarled Alix, struggling against Kim, “She then tried to claim Marinette stole her designs!”

Lila was too busy trying to scramble away to come up with a defence. Alya’s eyes snapped toward the Italian. Within moments, Alya had stalked over, grabbed Lila by the throat and shoved her against the wall.

“How. Dare. You.” Snarled the Creole girl, her eyes red, “Marinette would never steal anyone designs, especially since her designs have been stolen before.”

Lila was slowly turning blue.

“Alya.” Said Adrien, getting Alya to release Lila and turn towards the blond boy, “Marinette wouldn’t want you to-”

“What? Kill her? Make her feel the pain she inflicted on Marinette?” Snapped Alya, as Lila slid to the floor, coughing.

“Doing anything to Lila won’t change the situation.” Said Adrien, his voice level, “If anything, it puts Lila in a sympathetic light.”

Lila tried to slip out the door, while everyone was distracted.

“Although,” Adrien raised his voice, “Don’t think I didn’t notice that delighted look in your eye yesterday, it’s almost as if you were expecting it to happen.”

Lila froze, before jumping to her feet and rushing out the door. Adrien shot after her, running into the door as she slammed it shut.

“Ah, fuck, ow.” Grumbled Adrien, his hand going to his forehead.

Alya was breathing heavily, before she spoke, “Yes, Hawkmoth.”

Darkness enveloped Alya, leaving Lady Wi-fi in her place. Adrien paled slightly, before Lady Wi-fi vanished.

“She can do that now?” Demanded Alix, slumped against Kim chest.

There was a sudden scream from down the hall, making everyone rush out towards the source of the scream. They found Lila suspended in the air, a play symbol over her mouth. Adrien watched as Lila was forced to spill about all of her lies.

Adrien’s blood went cold when he heard Lila scream, “I worked with Hawkmoth to trigger Marinette’s stroke!”

The world went quiet, everyone stood stunned at Lila’s declaration.

“You worked with Hawkmoth to kill my friend?” Snarled Lady Wi-fi, her hand wrapping around Lila’s throat.

Lila could only make choking sounds as she tried to take in air. Adrien was vaguely aware of Nino’s phone going off.

“Alya, stop!” Yelled Nino, getting Lady Wi-fi’s attention.

“Why? She killed Marinette!” Screamed Lady Wi-fi, tears running down her face.

“No, that was Marinette’s Dad, Mari’s woken up.” Lady Wi-fi froze, she blinked, before snarling, “Then she has to live with the scars this bitch gave her!”

Lady Wi-fi’s hand tightened around Lila’s throat again, before a yoyo wrapped around Lady Wi-fi’s waist and tugged her away from the Italian girl.

Lady Wi-fi glared up at the source of the yoyo, before her face went slack, “You’re not Ladybug.”

Adrien stared at the Woman with Ladybug’s Miraculous, she had a short stature, and her hair was in a bob cut, Adrien thought he heard someone say something about ‘thick’ whatever that meant.

“My daughter is currently indisposed at the moment, so I’ve stepped in.” Said the woman, “You can call me Piáo Chóng, if you want.”

“Where’s Ladybug?” Demanded Lady Wi-fi, her phone cracking in her fist.

“My daughter has…” Piáo Chóng trailed off slightly, “been grounded for…not cleaning her room.”

Adrien could tell that she was making that up as she went along.

“She’s a superhero, she’s a little busy.” Huffed Lady Wi-fi, releasing Lila from her grip.

“She’s had a year to do it.” Came Piáo’s flat response, getting a wince from Lady Wi-fi. Piáo Chóng held her hand out.

Lady Wi-fi slowly reached out and grasped it. Piáo raised her eyebrows, before Lady Wi-fi tentatively held out her phone. Piáo Chóng shook the phone a few times and the Akuma fell out, reverting Alya to normal and allowing Piáo Chóng to catch and purify the Akuma.

Lila started with her crocodile tears, only for Piáo Chóng to firmly grab her upper arm and haul her to her feet.

“I suggest you keep her somewhere until the authorities arrive.” Said Piáo Chóng, thrusting Lila towards a teacher, who only nodded numbly.

Before anyone could ask her any questions, Piáo Chóng flung her yoyo into the air and swung away.

A few minutes passed, before the school’s doors burst open. Caline Bustier rushed in, looking as if she was operating on less than an hour of sleep and being kept conscious by spite and several cups of coffee.

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late-” Ms. Bustier quietly chanted, before almost bowling Adrien over, “Why isn’t anyone in class?”

The thick silence permeated through the air.

“What did I miss?” Sighed Ms. Bustier, silently cursing herself, she always missed the interesting shit.

S

Adrien silently rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Thinking the lift was moving too slowly. Alya and Nino were behind him, Alya staring at her phone and Nino continuously cleaning his glasses. The lift then dinged when they reached the floor Marinette was on.

“Room 27.” Said Alya, as Adrien speed walked to the room.

Adrien reached the door and knocked twice.

“Jìnlái.” Came Marinette’s voice.

“She said Come in.” Said Adrien, automatically.

“What language was that?” Asked Nino, looking at Adrien.

“Chinese.” Said Adrien, simply.

“But, Marinette can’t speak Chinese.” Said Alya, as Adrien tentatively pushed the door open, spotting Marinette, sporting a new haircut, most likely courtesy of a Nurse after she woke up.

“Hāi, dàjiā hǎo.” Said Marinette, sitting up in her bed.

“She said ‘Hi, guys.’” Translated Adrien, looking at Marinette.

“How’s she able to speak Chinese now?” Asked Alya, confused.

“Xíngchéng.” Said Marinette, before Adrien could translate for Alya.

“She said ‘Stroke.’” Said Adrien, before his face went slack, “She had a stroke and then came in here.”

Marinette nodded, “Yīshēng shuō wǒ hěn xìngyùn néng huózhe.”

Adrien paused so he could fully translate what Marinette had said.

“She said ‘The doctors said she was lucky to be alive.’” Said Adrien, leaning against Marinette’s bed, “Did you hear the news?”

“Shénme xīn xiāoxī?” (What news?) Asked Marinette, tilting her head to the side.

“Lila made the wrong lie and basically admitted to helping Hawkmoth ‘trigger your stroke’ in front of the whole school.” Said Adrien, sitting at the end of the bed, “After being questioned further Lila told the police how she heard you mention the results of a brain scan you had a few weeks back and relayed that to Hawkmoth, they would’ve asked her more, but Hawkmoth, apparently, doesn’t like his secrets being spilt.”

“Tā zuòle shénme?” (What did he do?) Asked Marinette, frowning.

“Lila had an Akuma inside her brain and Hawkmoth made it come out her ear.” Said Adrien, wincing at the grimace Marinette pulled.

“Nǐ kàn dào tí jīle ma?” (Did you see Tikki?) Asked Marinette, getting a surprised look from Adrien.

“Wǒ de nǚshì?” (My Lady?) Gasped Adrien, before Marinette realised her mistake.

“Māomī?” (Kitty?) Whispered Marinette, getting a nod from Adrien.

“I-I brought you this.” Stammered Adrien, after he and Marinette got an odd look from Alya and Nino, “It’s one of my father’s spare tablets, he’s not going to miss it, since he has hundreds.”

Marinette snorted and automatically typed in a code, before she groaned and looked at Adrien, “Yào shūrù shénme dàimǎ?” (What’s the code to get in?)

“Ah, 1-1-8-7.” Said Adrien, getting a smile from Marinette, before she looked down at gasped.

“Wǒ shì wǒ de pīnxiě bù.” (I-i-it's the spellbook.) Stammered Marinette, showing Adrien the screen.

“Dànshì, nǐ shuō Mayura hé Hawkmoth yǒu.” (But, you said Mayura and Hawkmoth had it.) Said Adrien, getting Alya and Nino’s attention.

“What’s that about Mayura and Hawkmoth?” Demanded Alya, as Marinette’s parents walked in.

“Māmā, qǐng gěi wǒ Tikki?” (Mum, can I have Tikki please?) The sprite flew out of her mother’s pocket and into Marinette’s hands, while Adrien slowly coaxed Plagg out of his chest.

“There better be cheese.” Yawned Plagg, stretching his little arms out.

“Plagg!” Scolded Tikki, shooting towards the Black Cat Kwami, “We’ve been forced to reveal ourselves and you immediately want cheese?!”

“I’m a simple cat, with simple needs.” Dismissed Plagg, before looking at Marinette, “What’s up, Pigtails? You don’t look so good.”

“Well, considering she’s had an Akuma beating around inside her brain, I’m sure that would be a given.” Snapped Tikki, “Do you know how much damage I had to fix just for her to wake up? To make sure she stayed alive?!”

Plagg winced, rubbing the back of his head.

“Tí jī.” (Tikki, please.) Said Marinette, getting the red Kwami to fly back over to her, “Zài huò gé mò sī (Hawkmoth) fāxiàn tā zhīqián, zhè kuài bēi shǔyú jiānhùrén.” (This tablet belonged to the Guardian, before Hawkmoth found him.)

Adrien relayed the message to the others and waited for the penny to drop.

S

Three months and several cancelled credit cards later, courtesy of Gabriel noticing the sudden balance change, Marinette was out of the hospital. Adrien and Sabine had helped her relearn French, Marinette found knowing and understanding Chinese to be a plus, because now she would know what her mother was saying when she was on the phone to family in China.

She would later learn to regret that.

A week after being discharged from the hospital, Adrien dropped through her skylight.

“I think Gabriel’s getting suspicious.” Said Adrien, as soon as Marinette turned to look at him. Adrien has started referring to his father by his first name when he wasn’t in his or Nathalie’s presence.

“You are doing it subtly, right?” Asked Marinette, as Plagg and Tikki flew off to a dark corner.

“I think I am,” Said Adrien, as Marinette limped over.

Another consequence of Marinette’s strokes was that she developed a limp in her left leg, Adrien believed she was going through therapy for it.

“Okay, we just need him in a false sense of security, before we knock the world out from under him.” Said Marinette, “Like another Miracle Queen situation, we need an Akuma that makes him think he’s going to win.”

“Why not get Chloe riled up?” Asked Adrien, “That usually works.”

Marinette grinned at him.

S

The overall fall out wasn’t what anyone expected, Lila had gotten Akumatized and both Ladybug and Chat Noir pretended to be beaten, luring Hawkmoth out into the open.

“Finally.” Smirked Hawkmoth, as he strode towards Ladybug.

Ladybug shot him a grin, making him stop. Suddenly, Ladybug jumped up, broke Lila’s object and purified the Akuma and knocked Hawkmoth away from the doors.

“I can’t believe this worked.” Said Ladybug, smugly, as Tortue came up behind Hawkmoth and batted him into a wall, “Did you honestly think we’d fall to a frequent Akuma, Gabriel?”

Hawkmoth froze, as Ladybug stalked towards him, Tortue placing a foot on his shoulder to prevent him from moving.

Ladybug bent over and plucked the Butterfly Miraculous from his chest. A thud drew Ladybug’s attention, as Húli threw Mayura to the floor, allowing Ladybug to take the Peacock from her as well. Both Nathalie and Gabriel sat frozen, as Chat Noir walked up to the pair.

“Amazing.” Said Chat, distain colouring his voice, “An emotionally abusive shit stain is a supervillain, I can’t wait to see how that goes down.”

“You don’t understand.” Sneered Gabriel, “I was doing this to save my wife, for my family.”

Chat was silent before he started laughing hysterically.

“’I was doing this for my family’,” Laughed Chat, “By pushing your own son away and neglecting him to the point of him believing something was wrong with him.”

“My son is perfect, as he should be,” Snarled Gabriel, “he should never be anything less.”

Chat continued laughing as his transformation had worn off, leaving a hysterical Adrien in his place. Ladybug started walking over to him, her limp returning as her transformation wore off. Marinette glared down at the Fashion Mogul.

“Why?” asked Marinette, looking down at him, “Lila said she worked with you to trigger my condition, why would you bother with something that would not benefit you in any way?”

“You would’ve been my ultimate creation.” Said Gabriel, wistfully, “The most powerful of my Akumas.”

“How does that work?” Demanded Adrien, glaring down as Gabriel.

“If I may,” Interjected Nooroo, after Marinette attached the butterfly to her jacket, “if an akuma possesses someone who is brain dead, they may control the body completely and absolutely, while retaining the person’s intelligence and skills.”

“A completely loyal minion that won’t fight back, but is still as strong, if not stronger.” Muttered Marinette, looking at Gabriel.

“With the advantage of not feeling pain.” Stated Nooroo, before flying into Marinette’s pocket.

Marinette glared at him, before she kicked him in the face, Adrien holding her steady as she swung her leg out.

Marinette hoped that everything would work out, if not for her sake, then for Adrien’s.

[stephkaylor]

FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that.  In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries. 

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss. 

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show.  Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me. 

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass. 

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge. 

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable.  His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie. 

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys. 

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen. 

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored.  Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…? 

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way.  (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself) 

7 out of 10. 

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x  Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

[millepara]

CiaoFes post... if there’s any significant news I’ll put it in a tidy tagged post of its own (edit: there was nothing), this is just my stupid liveblog or w/e

I meant to post about ciaofes in the tag but I kept putting it off bc it was so far in the future, and I was so tired, but then suddenly it was today and I was busy and couldn’t watch it till now. whoops.

there’s way too many hours of ciaofes to watch the whole thing even though I do generally like this kind of stuff, so I’m just skipping ahead to the prichan part (first in the lineup... a testament to its greater popularity over aikatsu?? probably.)

oh, what I wouldn’t give for a single one of these five squeaky girls to speak in their normal voice... I can’t tell them apart when they speak at the same time

ok I will admit I’m excited about the mymelo/kuromi prichan id!! literally everything about this season rubs me the wrong way like a cheese grater directly on my skin but this one single thing is cute. gotta try to get a matching set for Biscuit and Milk.

they said they are showing a “special version” of last week’s all-MC performance, but I didn’t see it (beyond gifs on tumblr ofc) so I don’t know what’s special about it.... I’m sorry

AHHH Prima Donna Memorial!! one of my fav songs to sing to myself around the house.... 💖  BUT isn’t this just the same performance as in the pripara/chan movie? (which is... another thing I didn’t see... ;;;; god this makes me sound like I hate pretty series but I swear I don’t, I like it as much as I like aikatsu, I just still have a hard time liking prichan specifically when it’s abt anyone other than Ring Marry or Meltic Star or Oshama Tricks, I guess) anyway if anyone actually reads this and you know the difference between these performances I would be delighted if you’d share your knowledge w me

they’ve brought Pretty Rhythm back to Prism Stone Harajuku. this is just the same news they announced a bit ago though. wish they brought it back to Osaka too (；ω；) I don’t even need a postcard for playing I just want to see Otoha again

breaking news!! there’s a new character coming to prichan...it’s Yui isn’t it. ah yeah it is. but I LOVE Yui so YEAH!!!! YUI!! I MISSED YOU

and the end. now to aikatsu planet!! excited to see literally anything new, any tiny shriveled scrap of new content they deign to throw our way

Narumi (who plays Rose) is so cool. her outfit sucks though (imo)

but no one’s outfit sucks more than Sala’s...... hate that coat. must be a huge pain for whoever has to wash it every time.

lmao all of these girls are in the same big room but there’s a huge lag in btw each of them speaking as if they’re all zooming in. did they practice for this at all. did they practice remotely so now they’re including the lag in the final product 

there’s also a lot of people talking faintly in the background!! my kryptonite... this is agony

now the game pv is playing in the background on top of the distant mumbling and starts/stops and actual on-purpose talking!! this is truly an aural hellscape!!!

(turns the sound up to try to hear starry planet speaking) (gets my eardrums blasted out when they abruptly switch to the hosting crew whose audio is working correctly) there is no love without suffering

the aipura cabinet sure is cute though. I like the glowing border

for god’s sake please give this adult woman a chair to sit in while playing this game instead of making her crouch in front of it like an animal

omg when she (Yumecchi? I should’ve watched the intro lol) did the mirror-in high five, she was like “to think I had this kind of power...” haha that’s so cute

Yumecchi (?), on the idol’s start dresses: “oh, they’re in their underwear” LMAO

yay, they didn’t have to go back to the start dress. that’s nice. though I still do wish that your ability to wear a darn dress in your darn idol performance didn’t depend on making someone else lose (also the entire gimmick of the game, so not something that could possibly be changed before release....)

oh, the other comedian is going to play now. what’s her name. really should’ve watched the intro huh

I hate the word “Bloomy” so much. it sounds like something you cough up into a tissue

they switch back to starry planet, the mic immediately releases a feedback screech

no offense but this meltyhouse bear is so ugly. why does it have hips coming out of its armpits. an abomination

BUT that Ruli illustration is so cute!!!! I can’t wait to see the rest of the characters in that style!! I’d love to know the who the artist is 💕

they switch back to starry planet. Ruli’s actress is talking furiously. not a single sound leaves her mouth. is she... lipsyncing... the ad copy?? my mind flounders for an explanation, finding only this absurd suggestion. seconds later the audio comes back from break and blows my eardrums out again

WHY does brand mascot Meruri.. Melury... Merly...’s plush have its legs sticking up in the air like a cat with an intestinal worm infection

ah yes, that aionpa collab with my fav anime cafe anion that I’ve been bitterly trying to avoid bc they aren’t bringing it to Osaka and obviously I can’t go to it in Tokyo in the middle of an actual pandemic, much less... a cafe. any cafe. excellent.

the Happy Planet performance is just a repeat of the BNP fes one! time to pack up and go home.

so, a recap of what was new: the coord thing hellohimawarihana posted about, the Meltyhouse mascot’s crimes and sins, and the 10 seconds you could see that pink moth critter’s coord at the end of the second aipura playthrough. not much! but something, for sure.

[hecohansen31]

SoulmateAU! Duncan doesnt care about his mark. He loves Michael. He loves Jim. And when he meets Reader, his soulmate, he loves her too, but he wants to keep everyone. Except that Michael and Jim are afraid that he will love Reader more and so they are a little mean with her when Duncan isnt here (even if they dont hate her). The poor girl is sad, because she likes them and think she should leave for them to be happy. Duncan must quickly find a way to reassure everyone ! (sorry its a bit long)

(A/N): Hello there, mon amour!

How was your day?

I hope better!

Also sorry for taking A LOT OF TIME! I am an idiot, but I got quite through a bit of ask, and since tonight I cancelled my plans, I am hoping to work on even more requests or such!

Hope you’ll like it!

WARNINGS: Jealous, Abandonement Issues, People Being Idiots.

It had happened almost as a fairytale: she had been the poor and starving journalist meeting Duncan Shepherd, the rich heir to the Shepherd Foundation at a gala, when he had accidentally drenched her with expensive champagne.

She had been dabbing her shirt, with him helping her dabbing the liquid, excusing himself in a way that she hadn’t expected him to.

He had been gentle and modest, almost as if he was just a fellow colleague.

It was in that moment that he had noticed on her wrist a little sign, the same one he owned on his matching wrist, the obvious sign that they were soulmates.

At first he had simply asked her on a coffee date, more as friends than lovers, but he had kept asking her out and she hadn’t been able to stop herself from accepting, although slowly she had discovered more and more out of the busy man’s life, such as his two other fellow “friends”, which were actually his partners in life and work: Michael Langdon and Jim Mason.

When she had first met them, they had been pretty nice with you, but as soon as Duncan had left the room, a glacial silence had appeared for the entire time they had spent together and no matter how nice she was with them, they didn’t seem to share the same predicament, teasing each of her insecurities.

At first, she had thought it was simply some initial jealousy, but as she had settled in Duncan’s house, they hadn’t been very welcoming alongside acting as brats with her and as saints with Duncan.

She had tried with anything: gentleness, bribing them with their favorite food and gifts, trying to spend some time together in their favorite activities and even going as far as to push Duncan away so, the three of them could spend more time together.

But it never worked, and then in the end she had ended up feeling left out as if she was the problem.

Then she was the one who needed to leave.

She had been packing her suitcase, after she had gotten a friend to host her for a bit, till she found a nice apartment to rent for the rest of the year, meanwhile she worked onto forgetting Duncan Shepherd.

She honestly had fallen in love with him, and hadn’t Michael and Jim been a tad nicer towards her she thought that she would actually like them.

But she just couldn’t think about this anymore, or she would cry and lose all her resolution.

She was packing her suitcase, when Michael walked in without knocking, a donut in his left hand and his face smeared with vanilla sugar on it, which was a truly adorable sight, but she was too focused on closing her suitcase before he could notice it.

She hadn’t wanted them to know just yet.

That night she would call Duncan and break it off on the phone, since she thought that challenging him face to face would make her break all her resolutions and go back,

But she just couldn’t.

She was the one who was out of place with them: definitely not as divinely gorgeous as them and charmingly delightful.

“What are you doing?” asked Michael, eyeing her strangely, and she was expecting some insult to came, but he was just looking at her curious, and she would have sworn that she saw him being almost worried.

“Oh, a friend of mine needs a luggage and I am giving her mine, since hers broke” she lied, quickly, although she knew that it was extremely bad, but Michael didn’t seem to mind it too much and she thought that he had gone back to his usual behavior, so she turned to get back to her things.

But he surprised her again.

“… do you want to come with us downstairs?” he asked, eating up a bit of his donut “… we are sharing a box of donuts, do you want to join us?”.

She was extremely surprised by the proposal since they hardly ever shared Duncan with her, so she was surprised that they would be willing to actually share their precious donuts, but she rejected the offer, because it might all be a very unfunny joke of theirs: like they would have given her a donut, just to smash it in her face.

They would have thought it was funny, but she wouldn’t.

“I can’t, I have to bring this to my friend as soon as I can” she replied, pursuing her lips to seriously fake being worried about the time, shooting a quick look at the clock.

Michael nodded slowly and turned around without talking, but in his movements, she couldn’t help but see some kind of sadness, as if he had seriously wanted her to join them.

But she just couldn’t let got to her mind: she was a woman on the mission.

She went down with the luggage to take her car keys, meanwhile the boys were in the kitchen, where she could hear them giggle, and she shout a quick “see you soon”, welcomed by two “have a nice day”, which was strange since the boys never ever seemed to notice whether she was out or in the house.

She proceeded with her plan: driving off to her friend house, who was already waiting for her with a mug of tea and chocolate, to comfort her tormented heart, meanwhile they gossiped about anything but her relationship, till Margret, her friend, mumbled:

“Are you sure about having done the right choice?” she had been the one who had insisted on her talking like a civil woman to Duncan about the situation and get the two “idiots” kicked out “… maybe they’ll miss you…”.

“I don’t think, Meg” she replied, rather quickly and without thinking, although her mind went a bit back to that morning, when Michael offered her to eat donuts with them “… I felt so unwelcome, but at the same time, I was the problem, they weren’t”.

“That’s (Y/N)’s mentality” tried to make her reason her friend “… Meg’s mentality is… you should have talked with Duncan”.

“I am!” she exclaimed, before she blushed, hiding her face in her mug and hoping it had been something stronger “… tonight, maybe…”.

Her friend just smirked sadly, before the intercom ringed and she moved to hear who was bothering them, meanwhile she searched a more comfortable position on the sofa.

Just as she had found it, her friend came back to her, with a face that made it seem like she had just seen a ghost, before ending up in a laughing fit, which she didn’t understand, looking at her confused.

“Apparently I have the police under my house, searching for you”.

Which was extremely strange: yeah, she had been staying at Meg’s house for a few hours, definitely not enough for anyone to be worried.

“Why are they searching for me?”.

“I have just let them up, before they accuse me of kidnapping you, so you can ask them yourself”.

The little policeman who had come to search for her, was actually the type of investigator that she would have found in a comedy and both she and Meg had had to stop each other from laughing at his face.

“Mrs (L/N)?” he asked and she nodded, thinking whether she needed or not to show him her ID, but the man just huffed relieved “… Mr Langdon and Mr Mason are extremely worried for you, they said that this morning you left with a luggage and they were worried you were trying to run away”.

Which had been her plan, but she didn’t think that they would have cared, or noticed.

“Ahem… I just went to Meg’s house, to leave a luggage and we ended up chatting for a bit more than we had thought, I am an independent lady, I am allowed to go anywhere alone”.

The policeman seemed to completely agree, but what he said further, surprised even more.

“I know, Mrs (Y/N) and personally… I think that both the misters might have overreacted a bit: we usually don’t warrant a missing person warning till twenty-four hours are passed., but Mr Langdon wasn’t able to calm himself till I told him that we would rush the procedure and I would personally search you for the city”.

This was rather surprised and Meg almost looked like she was going to choke on biting too hard her tongue not to laugh.

She hadn’t expected the boys to even notice her absence, she almost thought they would party on her finally leaving them.

She hadn’t definitely thought they would be worried for her.

“… so, if you don’t mind it, Mrs (L/N), can you come with me to the police station, so that Mr Langdon and Mr Mason might stop pestering my agents?”.

Although she was almost tempted to stay here at Meg’s house just to make them panic even more, she went after the policeman, since he honestly seemed too done with this entire situation.

Meg smirked, meanwhile she hugged her goodbye, whispering about the fact that she needed to confront them now.

When she came at the station, the total chaos was happening there, meanwhile Michael basically screamed at every police officer in the station on how they should rush what they were doing, as Jim looked like he was a step from crying, surrounded by many secretaries who tried to get him to be slightly happier.

But he only brightened when he saw her coming alongside the detective, immediately pushing them all away to run into her, to hug her, meanwhile Michael stopped his screams to turn around, also catching the sight of her, but standing behind with a mysterious expression she didn’t understand if it was cooled rage or true surprise, as if he hadn’t expected her to be back.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs (Y/N) is back” mumbled the detective, meanwhile she thanked and everyone erupted in an applause from which she hid, hiding her face in Jim’s shirt, who was more than happy to bring her under his wing, gently hugging her, meanwhile Michael escorted them out.

The drive back home was silent: she hadn’t been able to disentangle herself from Jim’s hug, so she was still stuck on his chest on the backseats of the car, meanwhile Michael drove, with an eye on the road and another looking at her from the rear window, as if he was expecting her to disappear in thin air.

When they came back home, she almost rushed to her room, but she was stopped by Michael who looked at her with a heavy expression.

“I think we need to talk”.

“I’d prefer to go to my room, to settle some things” she replied, knowing that “talking” might entail them making fun of them as they always did.

They might have been extremely worried about her but, did they seriously care?

“Sweetie, I do think that we need to talk” commented Jim, backing Michael off, but she was convinced by his tone and followed them to the sofa, and she took a seat on the chair in front of it, where they settled, putting some distance.

“Why did you run away” Michael Langdon was never one who liked to play around with things, mostly when they personally mattered to him.

“What are you talking about?” she tried to play dumb, meanwhile an exaggerated laugh left her mouth to hide her embarrassment “I just went to Meg’s house to give her the luggage and I stayed to talk with her, I didn’t even think that you would notice me missing”.

She knew that she was being unfair and definitely a bitch, but they had been terrible to her, so she didn’t owe them any gentleness.

They both grimaced at the screeching words.

“We did notice it, and Michael saw that your luggage was full” shittity shit, she thought, meanwhile Jim withheld her sight, as if he was an abandoned child “… and you wouldn’t come back or pick up your phone”.

“We were worried” summarized Michael, looking at her deeply with those shards of lethal glass, but she refused to give in.

“Yeah… I am sure that you were worried on how to explain to Duncan how you hadn’t killed me and buried me in the graveyard” she mumbled, meanwhile she crossed her arms over her chest to push them away from her mind “… you were just worried it might get you in trouble”.

“Yeah we were worried of what Duncan might do, if he didn’t find you tonight” mumbled Jim, his voice just a shade apart from totally becoming a crying “… he wouldn’t have been ok, without you, his soulmate”.

“We didn’t do this only for that” mumbled Michael, this time lowering his face as if he was ashamed to say that “… we were seriously worried about you… I know we might not show it much, but we seriously care about you”.

“Yeah I honestly and truly believe that you were” she spit sarcastically, meanwhile she just made to raise from her chair, but then Jim started crying and gently hugged Michael, who immediately welcomed.

“We are sorry for the behavior we have displayed with you, it’s just...” but before he could finish his discourse.

“… we were worried that you might take advantage of Duncan” shouted out loud Jim, before he hid his face in Michael’s chest so what he said next was a bit mumbled “… he is generous with the people he thinks that love him, and you appeared so suddenly in our lives… I just didn’t want him to suffer”.

She had never seen this side of the story, but she could see Jim’s worriedness, he had been there before both her and Michael and he clearly was extremely attentive at whoever came in their lives, mostly after what had happened with his mother, something that Duncan had whispered to her, when she had asked what to avoid with the boys.

“I was jealous” confessed instead Michael, although she would have obviously guessed it since he wasn’t as subtle as Jim, so she had caught him many times looking at her with green eyes, when Duncan would lean into her or circle her waist with his arm “… I honestly thought that you had some favoritism which you didn’t deserve just because you were his soulmate”.

She wanted to tell him that she had never wanted anything like that just because she was Duncan’s soulmate, just as him and Jim, who were each other’s soulmates, didn’t distance or made any favoritism towards each other in spite of Duncan.

“It was stupid, I have to admit it, but it felt easier to hate you than admit the fact that maybe you deserved Duncan’s love” he mumbled, biting his lips, meanwhile he focus his attention onto Jim “… but the fact is that he truly loves you and we have been assholes not to notice him”.

She was without words, and she was unable to breath properly meanwhile she thought about what to do, the two boys gently comforting each other, and she took a chance.

She raised, immediately feeling the boys’ eyes onto her and gently moved next to the two boys, enveloping them in a hug, extremely careful as if they were two cats ready to attack her at any given moments.

Jim was the first who leaned into her, gently grabbing her waist with an arm and pushing her onto his laps, completely smashing his face in her chest, in a soothing manner, for Michael it took him a tad more but he leaned into her touch, gently hiding his face in her hair and kissing her neck, softly.

They stayed like this enough not to be surprised from Duncan finally coming back home, who looked at three of them who he always found fighting, all entangled but didn’t say anything, instead gently he leaned in and kissed their foreheads, joining the hug.

Explanations could wait.

[mohini-musing]

Ragged Company

Chasing Ghosts ‘verse

~~

The girl is going to kill him. James learned young that there are no certainties in life. But this one comes close.

Case in point, he’s watching his very decidedly underage sister in a club that absolutely did not check her ID with any degree of scrutiny on the way in. She hasn’t seen him yet. He isn’t sure if he wants her to. It’s not like it’s any kind of secret that she parties hard. Nor that she’s way too good at getting her hands on things she’s no business touching. He chooses not to think about the little baggie of pills in his own pocket.

He’s halfway through slipping one of the little discs of happiness under his tongue when she is suddenly inches from him.

“The fuck are you following me?”

Alrighty then, happy high is clearly not on the menu of Tasha delights for the evening.

“I’m not the one who used a fake to get in the place,” he shoots back. If she’s going to be a bitch, he can give as good as he gets.

“Didn’t use any ID,” she grumbles, and for just a moment, he feels bad. “Don’t need it if you’re fucking the bartender.”

He groans. There is absolutely no way to know if she’s dead serious or trying to get a rise out of him. Either option is unsettling. She’s rarely hostile toward him. Something’s not right but in this mood she’s not going to give him any tells as to what that thing is. Or isn’t for that matter. He’s out of practice and not sober enough to try connecting the dots.

“You said you were waiting for me!” the voice is painful levels of shrill, and definitely unholy high. It belongs to a skinny, drugged out looking mess of a girl wrapping arms around Tasha in a way James absolutely knows she hates. The microsecond of flinch and grimace confirms it for him before she plasters on a smile.

“Sorry, saw someone I used to know,” she replies, glaring at James as if daring him to contradict her. She turns and follows the girl back into the depths of the club.

Whatever is on tap for tonight, James isn’t sticking around to see it. He was her all knight in too small armor when they were kids. If she needs him, she’ll tell him. Or someone will. It wouldn’t be the first weird call since they found each other again.

He leaves the club, heading into a different one a few blocks down. It’s a rare night that he ventures out without Steve to chill and trip out to the lights and music. The little disc of ecstasy is beginning to release its chemical spell into the tightly wound synapses of his brain and damned if running into his nightmare of a baby sister is going to bring him down.

Several hours and a long, pleasant walk home later, he finds a scrawny bundle of red hair and regret on his sofa. Steve’s next to her, not close enough to touch but near enough to make sure she keeps breathing. It doesn’t escape James’ notice that the trash bin usually stashed under his desk has been relocated to floor at the end of the sofa.

“Showed up a while ago. She won’t talk to me,” Steve explains in response to the bumbling inquiry James stammers out.

Tasha’s eyes are red and puffy. She either been sick or crying. James kneels in front of her, putting his hand on her thigh, barely above her knobby knee.

“Hey there,” he tells her.

She blinks at him, then launches herself off the cushion and into his chest. They tumble to the carpet in a heap and it’s all James can do to keep her head from bouncing off the floor.

“Jesus,” he mutters.

“M’sorry I’m bad,” she whispers back, before what James is fairly certain is a good third her weight worth of alcohol is baptizing the both of them.

Steve shouts something James can’t decipher and then Tasha’s being yanked off him. She’s screaming, kicking, and still retching.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Steve tries to tell her, but she’s too far gone to understand. Instead she yells something else and manages to thrash hard enough that he loses his grip on her. She hits the floor with an ominous thud. James isn’t sure if he should be grateful or mortified that he knows the sound well enough to be sure that nothing was broken on the way down.

Tasha rolls onto hands and knees, gagging into the carpet and shaking her head back and forth. She’s trying to say something but can’t stop retching long enough to form actual words.

James glares at Steve and crouches close to her.

“Tasha love,” he soothes. “Just breathe, sweetheart. Just breathe. Jamie’s got you.”

He doesn’t have her. If he had her, this would not have happened. He’s only just barely begun to know her again, and he’s becoming ever more concerned for what exactly happened to the risk taking but largely self-preserving girl he knew.

He puts a hand on her back, running fingers up and down her spine until she’s finally emptied out enough to settle down. She falls sideways into him, covered in bile and snot and god only knows what form of liquor. He hopes fervently that the reddish streaks are cranberry juice and not blood.

Once she’s been fairly calm for a few minutes, he eases her to sitting with her head cradled against his shoulder.

“You’re a mess, Tash,” he tells her softly. “Lemme wash you up?”

“Can’t,” she whimpers, and he’s confused.

“You got some aversion to water now?” he asks her. He’s not sure if he’s teasing or not. For all he knows she might.

“Your arm,” she explains. Even blitzed, the kid is trying to protect him. It was like this when they were young. The pair of them against the world.

“It comes off,” he tells her. She knows this. Or at least he thinks she does. No matter. He hauls her to her feet and half carries, half drags her to the bathroom. Steve follows behind like a forlorn puppy, and James agrees to let him take the myoelectric prosthesis back to their room to stash it on the charging dock. It’s technically water resistant, would hold up fine to being splashed. But he suspects he’s going to end up more than a little soaked by the end of this particular endeavor. He slips the silicone sleeve off his stump and hands it to Steve as well. Then he looks pointedly down the hall and the other man retreats, closing the door behind him.

Tasha’s taken to gently running a finger along the grooves of the scar tissue. “Shiny,” she whispers. It’s both observation and benediction, the skin is indeed shiny with both sweat and the odd texture of healed burns. “Hurts?” she asks, the soft lilt to her voice making clear that she is genuinely asking the question.

“Not as often as it did,” he replies. It’s the truth. The surgeons did a good job on the salvage, and the skin healed well. He’s trying to figure out what else to tell her when she presses her lips to the space where the scar tissue and softer skin come together.

“M’sorry,” she tells him. “M’sorry I lost you. M’sorry.” The words fade into a garbled repetition, their vowels lengthening until it’s no longer decipherable what she’s trying to say. There are tears, though. Little drops of salty sadness falling on his arm as she lays her face against his bicep.

“Shhh,” he tries, running fingers gently through her curls and hoping the motion provides some sort of comfort.

He thinks she’s settling down, going a bit more still, a bit more silent, until she pulls abruptly away and lunges for the bathroom trash, burying her face in it and heaving hard. He pats her back, tries to keep her hair out of the mess, though that’s long since a lost cause. When she’s down to empty retching, he pulls her upright, telling her to breathe, to hold the breath, to let it go slowly. She flops toward him a few moments later, trembly and clutching at him with one spindly hand.

“Tasha love, let’s clean you up and get you to bed,” he directs after she’s been still and quiet for a good bit.

She nods her assent and he scoots them toward the bath, reaching up and turning the taps.

“Can you strip out for me?”

“Yeah.” The answer is bitten off with a sound that could either be sadness or resignation. She slips her shirt over her head, shucks off her skirt and underthings. Her feet were bare to begin with, leaving her in naught but skin.

James drags his own vomit-soaked shirt off, ditches his jeans but keeps the underthings where they are. Close as they once were, there remain limits he’s not testing. Especially not tonight.

They climb into the tub together, Tasha burying her head against his chest as he runs a soapy cloth over her skin, talking to her as he works so that she’ll stay grounded in the here and now. The hair presents a challenge, getting the stringy gobs of vomit out without two hands to work with, but she’s clinging to him like a frightened animal and he’s not about to tell her she has to let go.

The water is nearing the end of its warmth by the time they’re both properly clean, but she’s responding more readily to his requests to move around and climb from the tub, which he’s willing to consider solid progress toward sobering up. For his part, James is pretty grateful for the lingering softness from his fading high. He’s no doubt it’s helping with keeping him chill enough to settle her.

He pats her dry, wraps her in fresh towels, and slips a towel around his own hips before opening the door and shepherding her to his bedroom. Steve comes like a loyal dog, trying to help, mostly just fumbling about. James sends him for towels to toss on the bed, just in case. She hasn’t been sick in a while, but there’s no guarantee that she hasn’t more sins to purge.

“Jamie?” she asks him.

“M’right here, Tash. Right here.” The words are automatic, a script he learnt when they were kids. She needs to be certain. Has been abandoned too many times to truly trust him when he says he’s staying. Hell, he feels the same way half the time. He lost count of the nights he’s woken up in a panic, only to stare at Steve’s sleeping form next to him and repeat a similar litany until his breath steadies and his heart calms.

“Jamie?” she repeats.

“Yeah,” this time he puts his hand against her shoulder, cupping the joint in his palm and pressing in a bit. Hoping that’s enough connection to ground her.

“My Jamie,” she babbles, eyes slipping shut as she loses consciousness.

Steve takes the opportunity to hand him some clothes, and he climbs into loose pajama pants and a faded shirt from some charity run Steve did a while back. Tasha’s naked under the towel she’s swaddled in, but James can’t decide if it’s reasonable to dress her or wait until she’s aware enough to help. He opts for putting the proffered boxers and shirt within easy grabbing distance and climbs into bed with her. He pulls her close, the movements of securing her airway and propping her onto one side as much a part of him as his own skin.

The sky is just beginning to go pink at the edges of the horizon when she stirs. It’s just the tiniest hitch of her shoulders, a miniscule gasp of a breath, but James rolls her belly down, head up, hooking a finger at the corner of her mouth to ensure whatever comes up doesn’t get sucked down into her lungs. It’s not much, just a couple strings of mucus, but the process wakes her.

She stares at him with wide eyes, and he can practically watch the connections coming together as she figures out where she is, who she’s with, and what she isn’t wearing.

“Sweet fuck,” she mutters.

“Nope, that we absolutely did not do,” the reply is automatic. A ritual left over from years past.

“Do I want to know?” she asks him.

“No. You’re good now?”

“D’you have aspirin? Or oxy? Fuck my head hurts.”

“I think we might need to start you on water, Tash. You haven’t kept your own spit down in a while.”

“I hate Jaeger.”

“Mmm, that I won’t argue. Shit’s awful.”

He rolls away from her long enough to grab the bottle of water from his bedside table and hand it to her. She takes a sip, swallows hard and screws her eyes shut.

“It’s okay,” he tells her, pulling his prosthetic from the charging dock and rolling the protective sleeve over his stump before reaching for her again. She belches, and the water dribbles back over her chin.

“Maybe not quite okay yet,” he concedes. “C’mere ya nightmare.”

She scoots over to the clean side of the bed, curling up in his lap like a cat.

“M’sorry.”

“I’ve seen you worse. Just be still. It’ll pass.”

She nods, closes her eyes, and he resumes petting her hair. The girl is definitely, absolutely going to be the death of him. But he’s grateful she’s still got enough sense to come find him so she isn’t the death of herself instead.

[tenpin-boleyn]

Boleyn x Parr Part 1

Hi guys! This is my first “fic” per say, and most of the stuff I've covered, I haven't written about before so its rather crap, but yolo (Yolt in the queens case)  This was supposed to be a short fic but I got carried away and it became 2 parts. oops

This is also my first time using the Keep reading link so I AM PRAYING IT WORKSSSSS.

Warnings: Teen Pregnancy, Panic Attacks, Brief mention of sex but only in passing, alcohol and mentions of an underage party. I think that’s all but please feel free to message me if you'd like any added! Its no problem at all! :) 

Anne was no quiet person, her teachers knew this, the other queens knew this and her girlfriend certainly did. So when she was missing from breakfast and silent during the duration of maths, Parr was definitely worried. Parr was the only one of the queens in any of Annes classes, much to the delight of Cath of Aragon, so the change in Anne went undetected or brushed away with “that girl has used so much energy it’s a wonder she hasn’t burnt out already”. Maths was usually Parr’s favourite subject- she got to sit next to her girlfriend and pass off their chatter as Anne needing help but with Anne taking a spontaneous vow of silence, she was left alone with her thoughts.

Catherine cast her mind back to when Anne first asked her out, they were both in the dance studio after a long day. Parr was sat on the floor doing her homework, and Boleyn was skating around in her Heelys, trying to figure out how to do Ballet on wheels. She had suddenly stopped and was staring at Parr, who was too absorbed in her history book to notice. She remembered how Anne had dropped to the floor and scooted over to where she was sat. “Listen Parr, what I am about to tell you is strictly confidential. Your ears only.” Catherine couldn’t help but giggle as she remembered how childish Anne had been at the time, well more childish than she was now, which made Anne look up from her maths book and give a weak smile. This made Parr’s heart break a little as she delved back into her memory. “I like you. Not as a friend. Well yeah as a friend but more than a friend. And not best friends either, I mean you are my best friend but- look what I’m trying to say is, do you want to go out with me?” Parr had obviously said yes, but only after she had laughed a bit over how speechless Anne was- it was such a rare occurrence, she couldn’t help but laugh.

But what brought her back to maths was a muffled sob from Boleyn, before she grabbed her bag and ran out of the classroom yelling “I’ve got my period don’t give me detention!” in her typical Boleyn style. Anne had forgotten to pack anything away when she took her bag, so Parr quickly gathered her things as well as her own and followed her girlfriend. Anne had been banned from wearing her “medically assigned Heelys” after she broke a year 7s leg, so she couldn’t have gone too far. Catherine suspected that Anne had gone to the cafeteria to get a cookie, but the sobs from the lockers proved differently. She took a moment, intensely listening to the sobs trying to figure out if they were her girlfriends, before hearing a gulp, signally that Anne had forgotten to breathe. Parr had calmed Anne down after enough nightmares to be able to tell that it was her. She instantly rushed in, saw Boleyn and dumped their bags as she swept her up in a hug. They sat there for a few minutes, just glad of the others presence, before Anne dug deeper into her girlfriends chest. She let out a last sob before you could hear, “Cathy I’m scared.” Parr instinctively started playing with Anne's hair, “I’m here babe, there’s nothing to be scared of. Not even the demon PE teacher” she laughed, hoping to cheer Anne up with comedy; a trick she picked up from Anne herself.

“Miss Mason should be scared of me smh. But Listen Parr, what I am about to tell you is strictly confidential. Your ears only” At this phrase Catherine giggled, this was exactly what Anne had said to her before asking her out. But instead of laughing, Anne smacked her girlfriend- “I’m being serious Cathy.”

Anne had a kind of voice that made everything sound like a joke- the perfect voice for a comedian or maybe even an actor, but those last words were so broken and sad; it shook Parr to the core. “Please don’t hate me.” “Annie, the day I hate you is the day pigs fly.” “Didn’t Aragon fly to Spain?” Again this made Parr chuckle but she quickly smothered this with a cough. “Not what I meant, but tell me what’s wrong. I swear on my geography book and on Aragon’s bible that I will not get mad at you”

Anne looked at her nervously before spilling the beans (not literally because she’s been banned from having beans after she spilt the entire bowl onto her duvet and now there’s an orange patch) “Remember Carries 16th?” “Unfortunately. The amount of drunk teenagers throwing up on me isn’t something I’m about to forget.” “I had a few too many Smirnoff Ices, and a few too many Cherryade Vodkas, a few too much of everything, and I lost you. So I managed to crawl over to Charlie, but he was smashed too, so we went to a room so we could sleep off the alcohol before you found me.” Catherine took a gulp of her own. She knew what was about to be said, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. “I don’t remember what happened, like at all- but babe I’m scared.” “I don’t understand?” “I missed my period. I’m too young for a child, last time I was older, I had a palace, money- I wasn’t 16!” Catherine was trying to figure out what to say- but before she could answer Anne spoke up again. “Funny isn’t it. I lose my virginity for the second time, with one of my best friends who hasn’t spoken to me since, and I get pregnant. How the fuck do I tell Jane.”  Catherine could feel Anne's breathing start to increase. If she didn’t do something soon, Anne would start hyperventilating and fall into a panic attack. “Annie okay. It’s me, Cathy. I need you to follow my breathing okay.  In for one, out for one. In for one out for one. Okay in for 2, out for 2. That’s a good girl. Keep going honey, deep breaths, that’s good. You’re doing great! One more for me, deep breath in, and release.” Before Anne could start panicking again, Parr clenched her against her chest, wishing with all of her that she could take this pain from her. Yes Parr was hurt that Anne promised they’d wait until both of them were ready, but this time it really wasn’t her fault.  She didn’t entirely blame Charlie either, but she knew that she would give him a firm talking to after she had taken Anne home. “Look Anne, you’re the strongest girl I know, and we can get through this together? When I said yes to being your girlfriend, I said yes to sticking by you through thick and thin. Should we go down to medical and get a pass to go home? Jane won’t be home and neither with Aragon, you can pretend to be sick or-“ “Sounds good.” With that Anne started to rub her eyes and stood up, helping Parr up too. “Thank you. For not yelling at me- or being angry.” “For you, id never be angry again” “Even if Aragon kept on stealing your bibles when I hid hers” Anne whispered as she took Parr’s hand. “Even if Aragon kept on stealing my bibles, and even when you keep bringing Aragon into every anecdote.” Parr laughed, squeezing Boleyn’s hand comfortingly.

[clonerightsagenda]

The epilogues look terrible and I don’t want to spend my time reading them... but I love + trust your judgement and your takes on things. Could you summarize them? (No pressure if you don’t want to)

OK, it’s been a few weeks since i read it, but I will do my best.NOTE: This is probably not comprehensive and definitely not objective. As a supplement, I did some poking around, and the MSPA wiki has some bullet points. I also eventually found another  summary on tumblr, albeit by someone who also didn’t like it, so it is probably biased as well. 

ANOTHER NOTE: Those content warnings weren’t a joke. Below are references to sexual content, assault, suicide, sexism, transphobia, character death, and probably some other stuff.

WHAT HAPPENED:

In the prologue, Rose summons John to inform him that he needs to defeat Lord English right now, or they will all experience terrible consequences. These are mostly meta consequences you can interpret as ‘if we don’t produce new Homestuck content on its 10th anniversary, everyone will give up on this franchise for real, and also canon doesn’t seem stable when the big bad never got beaten’. John goes to visit Roxy and Calliope before he leaves and is given the option to eat either meet or candy. This represents a choice he is supposed to make, and that choice creates two timelines.

In MEAT, John travels back in time and gathers three 16 year old versions of his friends. They confront Caliborn in the battle he represented in his Masterpiece and are sucked into the house juju. Vriska activates it, but not before being pulled into the black hole. Rose and Jade die immediately, with Rose’s body being destroyed and Jade’s falling into the black hole, because why should women get to fight the story’s biggest misogynist. Dave lands a solid hit on English before having his head bitten off Mami from PMMM style. John gets chomped on as well and a gold tooth ends up embedded in his chest. Davepeta appears and drags the wounded LE into the black hole. John finds his father’s wallet, retrieves his car, and slumps inside. Terezi appears, in bad shape after a long time wandering the ring. She seems confused at his state (explained because in CANDY she has been texting that version of him for years). She removes the tooth from his chest and they have sex.

Meanwhile, on Earth, Dave and Karkat have avoided talking about being a relationship for seven years, while Jade harasses them about becoming a threesome. This is explicitly tied to her abandonment issues but also she is referred to as a slut so like. Don’t love that. Jane is running for president, and Dave thinks this is terrible because she’s a woman fascist and doesn’t understand the economy and Karkat should run instead. Other shit is happening but I lost track. Rose is ill because she’s becoming her ‘Ultimate Self’ and seeing all timelines. Dirk claims he’s overcome the same problem and offers to help her but ends up controlling her and revealing he is the one actually writing this narrative.  There is a bit where the narration starts addressing the reader directly and then turns orange which I admit is genuinely cool and might have been interesting if done with characters I didn’t actually care about.

Dirk amps up controlling the narrative, directly forcing people to do and think certain things. (For example, he sequesters Rose away in his workshop and tells Kanaya via narration she believes Rose is better off with him, and she uncomfortably agrees without understanding why she thinks that.) He supports Jane’s bid for the presidency, even though she wants to crack down on trolls because they are naturally violent and reproduce too fast. Everyone tries to get Jake’s endorsement because he’s popular, which includes Jane attempting to seduce him in a very uncomfortable scene.Then Jade slips into a nice coma, because it’s not Homestuck without Jade losing her agency, and alt!Calliope starts using her as an avatar to take control of the narrative away from Dirk. They have some back and forth arguments before he is pushed out which, again, is genuinely clever but would be more enjoyable without all the edgy bullshit. Dirk eventually tricks alt!Callie and sedates Jade, taking back control of the story. Jane wins the presidency. Also at some point Meat!Roxy and Callie ID as nonbinary and start using they/them, and narrator!Dirk freaks out about it and misgenders them a lot, which is character assassination bc everyone knows Dirk is a trans icon. Anyway. Dave and Karkat have an awkward talk about their relationship where they keep dancing around things and Dirk tries to force Dave to kiss him. Dave gets frustrated because he’s aware someone is trying to make him do something (like with the Aimless Renegade), and eventually yells at Dirk to get out of his head before kissing Karkat. Terezi brings John back to Earth, and he begins to fade, since apparently LE’s tooth was poisoned with something more powerful than god tier that makes you irrelevant. Possibly a meta commentary on the hero or story not being needed once the big bad is gone. Terezi is sad about this and listens to him bleed while she smells him die. Then Dirk contacts her via narration and implies he can help her. She gets a text (later revealed to be Vriska). Dirk gets a spaceship from Jake after forcing him via narration to grovel about how much he loves him and then rejecting him and flying away with Rose and Terezi in tow. Jade wakes up long enough to tell everyone Dirk’s gone bad before she gets repossessed and starts pointing in his direction, prompting everyone to give chase. 

There is a final scene that will make more sense later, so I’ll add it later.

CANDY

John decides not to go fight LE. Roxy is delighted, and they began dating. Calliope tells John it is time to let Gamzee out of the fridge. Gamzee pops out and claims he is redeemed in a long speech making fun of sloppy redemption arcs. He then proceeds to be terrible for the rest of the story.Candy essentially satirizes Harry Potter epilogue style fics. Jane marries Jake (it’s implied she essentially roofies him with the trickster lollipop) and has Gamzee on the side. They have a son named Tavros. John and Roxy have a son named Harry. Rose and Kanaya adopt a troll clone of Vriska and name her Vriska. Jade, Karkat, and Dave are all dating, but Dave and Karkat are miserable. Dirk kills himself when he realizes the timeline went off kilter. Jade’s corpse from the Meat timeline crashes to earth, and in the middle of the funeral (which was genuinely a good scene) she sits up, possessed by alt!Calliope. Alt!Callie sequesters herself on the old meteor, now landed, and explains to Aradia and Sollux that this timeline is a dead end and she is protecting it from the influence of the prince. She also, in a parallel to Dirk’s reveal in Meat, talks about how every narrator has an agenda even if the text is formatted to make you not realize that.Jane becomes a fascist dictator and begins oppressing trolls. Karkat eventually get sick of being in a trio and runs off to be a resistance leader, including getting a sick eye patch (reference to Summer Teen Romance). Meenah stole the Ring of Life from Meat John and lands in the session; she and Karkat begin dating. Other ghosts begin falling from the sky as well, and Gamzee converts them to his redemption religion.John feels like something is really off.  His only solace is texting Terezi a lot, and he seems closer to her than he is to his wife. He and Roxy break up for a while and then (non-romantically) reconcile. Jake eventually leaves Jane and takes Tavros with him. Jade and Dave become rebels as well, then Dave meets a hologram of Obama, who helps him attain his ultimate self, putting his soul in a new robot body. 

Oh, also Vriska falls out of the sky, has hatesex with Gamzee, kills him, and then talks with Rose and Kanaya’s Vriska about how she loves Terezi. Then she texts her, as seen in the Meat timeline. Isn’t Vriska 13 and Gamzee an adult at this point? Probably. There’s a lot of questionable age stuff in this.

I’m sure I missed some details. Can you tell I’m losing steam.

Anyway, the two last chapters of each section reference the other storyline. At the end of Meat, Lord English’s body falls out of the sky, and alt!Callie (still in Jade’s body) devours it, becoming powerful enough to battle Dirk. Candy!Davebot arrives and he and Aradia jump into the black hole in pursuit.At the end of Candy, Dirk’s ship nears a new planet where he intends a new game of SBURB to be played. Rose is in a robot body serving as his handmaid essentially, and Terezi’s also on board.  

TAKEAWAYS:

There are a lot of different interpretations of the epilogue. A mockery of the two extremes of fanfic. Andrew Hussie continuing the theme of ‘all authors are tyrants by nature’ and using his self-insert to display how he hates his own story but also can’t stop telling it. Dirk trying to create conflict by making himself a villain because otherwise they’ll lose relevance and disappear. Musing on how being arbitrarily labeled 'grown up’ when you’re not ready (aka handed godhood by a game that doesn’t understand people) can fuck you up, and there is no single winning screen in life. Just a big old meta experiment on unreliable narrators. I can see where some of this is coming from, but frankly, I found it disturbingly sexist (even if it is intended to be so for effect). A lot of the sex and violence felt over the top and graphic just to be #ow the edge rather than serving any narrative purpose. Also, authors can do what they want with their texts, and they’re allowed to write tragedies, but after Hussie’s self-insert informs Caliborn that the most important stories are about friendship and teamwork and the fandom (that I’ve seen anyway) really responding to the bonds between characters, it felt cruel. That’s my feeling. Not everyone shares it. But hey, I’ve got my solution.

[backslashdelta]

Glee Soundtrack Rating Project Results: backslashdelta

Is it weird that I'm making a summary post for myself? Maybe. Am I doing it anyway? Apparently so.

Favourite character: Kurt Hummel

Least favourite character: Will Schuester

Favourite season: Undecided

Least favourite season: Season 6

Mean song rating: 6.87

Mean song rating for favourite character's songs: 7.68

Mean song rating for favourite character's solos: 8.29

Mean song rating season 1: 6.66

Mean song rating season 2: 6.84

Mean song rating season 3: 6.88

Mean song rating season 4: 6.86

Mean song rating season 5: 6.98

Mean song rating season 6: 7.07

Songs rated: 701

[ID: A bar chart titled Number of songs assigned each rating by backslashdelta, illustrating the number of times each score was assigned to a song by backslashdelta. 10 was assigned 58 times, 9 was assigned 103 times, 8 was assigned 128 times, 7 was assigned 138 times, 6 was assigned 121 times, 5 was assigned 51 times, 4 was assigned 57 times, 3 was assigned 29 times, 2 was assigned 8 times, 1 was assigned 8 times, and 1 songs were not rated.]

About the Project | Results Masterpost

Ranking:

1. (10) - S1x09 - Defying Gravity

2. (10) - S1x13 - Don't Rain on My Parade

3. (10) - S1x15 - 4 Minutes

4. (10) - S1x15 - Like a Prayer

5. (10) - S1x18 - Rose's Turn

6. (10) - S1x22 - Don't Stop Believing (Regionals)

7. (10) - S2x06 - Teenage Dream

8. (10) - S2x06 - Start Me Up/Livin' on a Prayer

9. (10) - S2x09 - Dog Days Are Over

10. (10) - S2x10 - Baby, It's Cold Outside

11. (10) - S2x11 - Thriller/Heads Will Roll

12. (10) - S2x11 - Bills, Bills, Bills

13. (10) - S2x12 - When I Get You Alone

14. (10) - S2x13 - Take Me or Leave Me

15. (10) - S2x16 - Loser Like Me

16. (10) - S2x18 - Somewhere Only We Know

17. (10) - S2x19 - Go Your Own Way

18. (10) - S3x01 - You Can't Stop the Beat

19. (10) - S3x06 - Rumour Has It/Someone Like You

20. (10) - S3x08 - Man in the Mirror

21. (10) - S3x11 - Black or White

22. (10) - S3x11 - Smooth Criminal

23. (10) - S3x15 - Rio/Hungry Like the Wolf

24. (10) - S3x17 - How Will I Know

25. (10) - S3x18 - Cell Block Tango

26. (10) - S3x18 - Not the Boy Next Door

27. (10) - S3x18 - Shake It Out

28. (10) - S3x21 - Paradise By the Dashboard Light

29. (10) - S3x21 - It's All Coming Back to Me Now

30. (10) - S3x21 - Edge of Glory

31. (10) - S4x04 - Teenage Dream (Acoustic)

32. (10) - S4x04 - The Scientist

33. (10) - S4x04 - Mine

34. (10) - S4x08 - Whistle

35. (10) - S4x09 - Being Alive

36. (10) - S4x13 - Nutbush City Limits

37. (10) - S4x14 - Anything Could Happen

38. (10) - S4x15 - Come What May

39. (10) - S5x01 - Got to Get You Into My Life

40. (10) - S5x03 - Seasons of Love

41. (10) - S5x03 - Make You Feel My Love

42. (10) - S5x03 - If I Die Young

43. (10) - S5x07 - Nasty/Rhythm Nation

44. (10) - S5x09 - I Believe in a Thing Called Love

45. (10) - S5x10 - Gloria

46. (10) - S5x11 - More Than a Feeling

47. (10) - S5x11 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

48. (10) - S5x11 - Mr. Roboto/Counting Stars

49. (10) - S5x13 - Loser Like Me

50. (10) - S5x14 - Rockstar

51. (10) - S5x16 - Addicted to Love

52. (10) - S5x19 - Take Me Home Tonight

53. (10) - S5x20 - All of Me

54. (10) - S6x03 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

55. (10) - S6x03 - Hand in My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move

56. (10) - S6x07 - You Give Love a Bad Name

57. (10) - S6x13 - Daydream Believer

58. (10) - S6x13 - I Lived

59. (9) - S1x01 - Mr. Cellophane

60. (9) - S1x01 - Respect

61. (9) - S1x01 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot)

62. (9) - S1x10 - Lean On Me

63. (9) - S1x15 - Like a Virgin

64. (9) - S1x18 - Pink Houses

65. (9) - S1x20 - Bad Romance

66. (9) - S2x03 - Losing My Religion

67. (9) - S2x03 - Only the Good Die Young

68. (9) - S2x03 - One of Us

69. (9) - S2x04 - River Deep, Mountain High

70. (9) - S2x04 - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

71. (9) - S2x05 - Sweet Transvestite

72. (9) - S2x05 - Time Warp

73. (9) - S2x07 - Singing In the Rain/Umbrella

74. (9) - S2x09 - Don't Cry for Me Argentina

75. (9) - S2x10 - Last Christmas

76. (9) - S2x12 - Silly Love Songs

77. (9) - S2x12 - Fat Bottomed Girls

78. (9) - S2x13 - Sing

79. (9) - S2x13 - Baby

80. (9) - S2x14 - Blame It (On the Alcohol)

81. (9) - S2x14 - Don't You Want Me

82. (9) - S2x15 - Afternoon Delight

83. (9) - S2x15 - Landslide

84. (9) - S2x16 - Blackbird

85. (9) - S2x16 - Hell to the No

86. (9) - S2x16 - Big Ass Heart

87. (9) - S2x17 - Turning Tables

88. (9) - S2x18 - Born This Way

89. (9) - S2x19 - Never Going Back Again

90. (9) - S2x19 - I Don't Want to Know

91. (9) - S2x19 - Don't Stop

92. (9) - S2x22 - For Good

93. (9) - S3x04 - Last Friday Night

94. (9) - S3x04 - Candyman

95. (9) - S3x05 - Uptown Girl

96. (9) - S3x06 - I Can't Go for That/You Make My Dreams Come True

97. (9) - S3x06 - You and I/You and I

98. (9) - S3x07 - I'm the Only One

99. (9) - S3x07 - I Kissed a Girl

100. (9) - S3x08 - Buenos Aires

101. (9) - S3x08 - ABC

102. (9) - S3x09 - All I Want for Christmas Is You

103. (9) - S3x09 - My Favorite Things

104. (9) - S3x10 - Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash

105. (9) - S3x11 - Bad

106. (9) - S3x11 - I Want You Back

107. (9) - S3x13 - Love Shack

108. (9) - S3x14 - Cough Syrup

109. (9) - S3x14 - Here's to Us

110. (9) - S3x14 - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

111. (9) - S3x14 - Glad You Came

112. (9) - S3x17 - So Emotional

113. (9) - S3x20 - Mean

114. (9) - S3x21 - Pinball Wizard

115. (9) - S3x22 - You Get What You Give

116. (9) - S4x01 - It's Time

117. (9) - S4x01 - Call Me Maybe

118. (9) - S4x02 - 3

119. (9) - S4x04 - Barely Breathing

120. (9) - S4x04 - Don't Speak

121. (9) - S4x04 - Give Your Heart a Break

122. (9) - S4x06 - Beauty School Dropout

123. (9) - S4x06 - You're the One That I Want

124. (9) - S4x07 - Some Nights

125. (9) - S4x08 - Live While We're Young

126. (9) - S4x09 - All That Jazz

127. (9) - S4x14 - Just Can't Get Enough

128. (9) - S4x15 - Shout

129. (9) - S4x15 - Old Time Rock & Roll/Danger Zone

130. (9) - S4x16 - Closer

131. (9) - S4x16 - Cold Hearted

132. (9) - S4x17 - Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)

133. (9) - S4x17 - My Prerogative

134. (9) - S4x21 - Higher Ground

135. (9) - S5x01 - All You Need Is Love

136. (9) - S5x04 - Wide Awake

137. (9) - S5x04 - Roar

138. (9) - S5x06 - Piano Man

139. (9) - S5x07 - You're My Best Friend

140. (9) - S5x09 - Brave

141. (9) - S5x12 - Defying Gravity

142. (9) - S5x12 - Valerie

143. (9) - S5x13 - Don't Stop Believin' (Season Five)

144. (9) - S5x13 - Just Give Me a Reason

145. (9) - S5x15 - I'm Still Here

146. (9) - S5x17 - Pumpin Blood

147. (9) - S5x18 - Wake Me Up

148. (9) - S5x19 - Lucky Star

149. (9) - S5x20 - American Boy

150. (9) - S5x20 - Glitter in the Air

151. (9) - S6x02 - Tightrope

152. (9) - S6x02 - Home

153. (9) - S6x03 - It's Too Late

154. (9) - S6x07 - Somebody Loves You

155. (9) - S6x09 - Friday I'm in Love

156. (9) - S6x10 - Rise

157. (9) - S6x11 - We Built This City

158. (9) - S6x11 - Come Sail Away

159. (9) - S6x11 - Take Me to Church

160. (9) - S6x12 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot/2009)

161. (9) - S6x12 - Popular

162. (8) - S1x01 - Sit Down You're Rockin the Boat

163. (8) - S1x01 - Can't Fight This Feeling

164. (8) - S1x01 - Rehab

165. (8) - S1x02 - Push It

166. (8) - S1x03 - Mercy

167. (8) - S1x03 - I Wanna Sex You Up

168. (8) - S1x05 - Alone

169. (8) - S1x06 - It's My Life/Confessions Part II

170. (8) - S1x06 - Halo/Walking On Sunshine

171. (8) - S1x07 - Hate On Me

172. (8) - S1x08 - Sweet Caroline

173. (8) - S1x09 - Proud Mary

174. (8) - S1x10 - Crush

175. (8) - S1x11 - True Colors

176. (8) - S1x13 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

177. (8) - S1x14 - Hello, I Love You

178. (8) - S1x15 - Vogue

179. (8) - S1x17 - U Can't Touch This

180. (8) - S1x17 - Total Eclipse of the Heart

181. (8) - S1x17 - Ice Ice Baby

182. (8) - S1x18 - Jessie's Girl

183. (8) - S1x21 - Tell Me Something Good

184. (8) - S1x22 - Any Way You Want It/Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

185. (8) - S2x01 - Empire State of Mind

186. (8) - S2x01 - Telephone

187. (8) - S2x02 - Stronger

188. (8) - S2x02 - I'm a Slave 4 U

189. (8) - S2x02 - Me Against the Music

190. (8) - S2x02 - Toxic

191. (8) - S2x03 - I Want to Hold Your Hand

192. (8) - S2x03 - Bridge Over Troubled Water

193. (8) - S2x05 - Touch a Touch a Touch a Touch Me

194. (8) - S2x06 - Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind

195. (8) - S2x09 - Hey, Soul Sister

196. (8) - S2x09 - Valerie

197. (8) - S2x11 - She's Not There

198. (8) - S2x11 - Need You Now

199. (8) - S2x13 - Somebody to Love

200. (8) - S2x14 - Tik Tok

201. (8) - S2x14 - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

202. (8) - S2x15 - Animal

203. (8) - S2x15 - Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)

204. (8) - S2x16 - Misery

205. (8) - S2x16 - Raise Your Glass

206. (8) - S2x16 - Trouty Mouth

207. (8) - S2x18 - As If We Never Said Goodbye

208. (8) - S2x18 - I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

209. (8) - S2x20 - Rolling in the Deep

210. (8) - S2x20 - Isn't She Lovely

211. (8) - S2x21 - Some People

212. (8) - S2x22 - Yeah!

213. (8) - S3x01 - It's Not Unusual

214. (8) - S3x02 - I'm the Greatest Star

215. (8) - S3x03 - It's All Over

216. (8) - S3x06 - Hit Me with Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

217. (8) - S3x07 - Perfect

218. (8) - S3x08 - Survivor/I Will Survive

219. (8) - S3x09 - Christmas Wrapping

220. (8) - S3x09 - Let It Snow

221. (8) - S3x09 - River

222. (8) - S3x10 - Summer Nights

223. (8) - S3x10 - We Found Love

224. (8) - S3x11 - Scream

225. (8) - S3x11 - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

226. (8) - S3x13 - Stereo Hearts

227. (8) - S3x15 - I'm Still Standing

228. (8) - S3x15 - Fighter

229. (8) - S3x16 - Boogie Shoes

230. (8) - S3x17 - It's Not Right But It's Okay

231. (8) - S3x17 - I Have Nothing

232. (8) - S3x17 - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

233. (8) - S3x19 - What Makes You Beautiful

234. (8) - S3x19 - Big Girls Don't Cry

235. (8) - S3x21 - We Are the Champions

236. (8) - S3x22 - Glory Days

237. (8) - S4x01 - Never Say Never

238. (8) - S4x02 - Crazy/U Drive Me Crazy

239. (8) - S4x02 - Oops!...I Did It Again

240. (8) - S4x03 - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

241. (8) - S4x05 - Everybody Talks

242. (8) - S4x09 - Don't Dream It's Over

243. (8) - S4x11 - No Scrubs

244. (8) - S4x12 - A Thousand Years

245. (8) - S4x12 - This Is the New Year

246. (8) - S4x12 - Torn

247. (8) - S4x12 - Love Song

248. (8) - S4x13 - Don't Stop Me Now

249. (8) - S4x13 - Girl On Fire

250. (8) - S4x13 - Hung Up

251. (8) - S4x15 - Footloose

252. (8) - S4x17 - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

253. (8) - S4x17 - Wannabe

254. (8) - S4x17 - Mamma Mia

255. (8) - S4x18 - Say

256. (8) - S4x18 - Your Song

257. (8) - S4x19 - Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel)

258. (8) - S4x19 - Next to Me

259. (8) - S4x20 - Everybody Hurts

260. (8) - S4x21 - Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

261. (8) - S4x21 - Superstition

262. (8) - S4x22 - Wings

263. (8) - S5x02 - Here Comes the Sun

264. (8) - S5x02 - Let It Be

265. (8) - S5x03 - No Surrender

266. (8) - S5x04 - Marry the Night

267. (8) - S5x05 - If I Were a Boy

268. (8) - S5x12 - Raise Your Glass

269. (8) - S5x12 - Toxic

270. (8) - S5x14 - You Make Me Feel So Young

271. (8) - S5x15 - You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman

272. (8) - S5x15 - No One Is Alone

273. (8) - S5x16 - Love Is a Battlefield

274. (8) - S5x16 - I Want to Know What Love Is

275. (8) - S5x19 - Memory

276. (8) - S5x20 - Pompeii

277. (8) - S6x02 - Take On Me

278. (8) - S6x02 - Mustang Sally

279. (8) - S6x02 - Viva Voce

280. (8) - S6x04 - Bitch

281. (8) - S6x05 - It Must Have Been Love

282. (8) - S6x05 - My Sharona

283. (8) - S6x07 - All About That Bass

284. (8) - S6x07 - Time After Time

285. (8) - S6x07 - Same Love

286. (8) - S6x08 - Hey Ya!

287. (8) - S6x08 - I'm So Excited

288. (8) - S6x11 - Mickey

289. (8) - S6x12 - Pony

290. (7) - S1x02 - Gold Digger

291. (7) - S1x05 - Last Name

292. (7) - S1x05 - Somebody to Love

293. (7) - S1x07 - Ride Wit Me

294. (7) - S1x07 - Keep Holding On

295. (7) - S1x08 - Bust A Move

296. (7) - S1x08 - Thong Song

297. (7) - S1x08 - What A Girl Wants

298. (7) - S1x09 - Dancing With Myself

299. (7) - S1x10 - (You're Having My Baby)

300. (7) - S1x10 - Don't Stand So Close to Me/Young Girl

301. (7) - S1x11 - Hair/Crazy In Love

302. (7) - S1x11 - Imagine

303. (7) - S1x11 - Bootylicious

304. (7) - S1x12 - Jump

305. (7) - S1x13 - And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

306. (7) - S1x14 - Highway to Hell

307. (7) - S1x15 - Borderline/Open Your Heart

308. (7) - S1x16 - Fire

309. (7) - S1x16 - A House Is Not a Home

310. (7) - S1x16 - Beautiful

311. (7) - S1x19 - Safety Dance

312. (7) - S1x19 - Dream On

313. (7) - S1x20 - Shout It Out Loud

314. (7) - S1x20 - Poker Face

315. (7) - S1x21 - Another One Bites the Dust

316. (7) - S1x21 - Give Up the Funk

317. (7) - S1x21 - Good Vibrations

318. (7) - S1x22 - To Sir, With Love

319. (7) - S2x01 - Billionaire

320. (7) - S2x01 - Listen

321. (7) - S2x02 - Baby One More Time

322. (7) - S2x02 - The Only Exception

323. (7) - S2x03 - I Look to You

324. (7) - S2x04 - Le Jazz Hot

325. (7) - S2x05 - Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

326. (7) - S2x05 - Damn It, Janet

327. (7) - S2x15 - Kiss

328. (7) - S2x17 - Ain't No Way

329. (7) - S2x19 - Dreams

330. (7) - S2x20 - Dancing Queen

331. (7) - S2x21 - Back to Black

332. (7) - S2x22 - My Cup

333. (7) - S2x22 - I Love New York/New York, New York

334. (7) - S2x22 - Light Up the World

335. (7) - S3x03 - Fix You

336. (7) - S3x07 - Constant Craving

337. (7) - S3x08 - Control

338. (7) - S3x08 - We Are Young

339. (7) - S3x11 - Human Nature

340. (7) - S3x13 - Let Me Love You

341. (7) - S3x13 - Home

342. (7) - S3x14 - Stand

343. (7) - S3x16 - Disco Inferno

344. (7) - S3x19 - Dinosaur

345. (7) - S3x19 - Love You Like a Love Song

346. (7) - S3x20 - I Won't Give Up

347. (7) - S3x20 - Flashdance...What a Feeling

348. (7) - S3x21 - Tongue Tied

349. (7) - S3x21 - Starships

350. (7) - S3x22 - I'll Remember

351. (7) - S3x22 - Roots Before Branches

352. (7) - S4x01 - Sister Christian

353. (7) - S4x01 - Chasing Pavements

354. (7) - S4x02 - Boys/Boyfriend

355. (7) - S4x02 - Gimme More

356. (7) - S4x03 - Celebrity Skin

357. (7) - S4x03 - A Change Would Do You Good

358. (7) - S4x05 - Hopelessly Devoted to You

359. (7) - S4x05 - Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

360. (7) - S4x05 - Juke Box Hero

361. (7) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

362. (7) - S4x06 - Greased Lightning

363. (7) - S4x08 - Let's Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time

364. (7) - S4x08 - Come See About Me

365. (7) - S4x10 - White Christmas

366. (7) - S4x11 - Baby Got Back

367. (7) - S4x11 - Locked Out of Heaven

368. (7) - S4x11 - I Don't Know How to Love Him

369. (7) - S4x12 - Centerfold/Hot in Herre

370. (7) - S4x12 - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)

371. (7) - S4x13 - Diva

372. (7) - S4x13 - Bring Him Home

373. (7) - S4x15 - Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl

374. (7) - S4x16 - The Bitch Is Back/Dress You Up

375. (7) - S4x16 - Bye Bye Bye/I Want It That Way

376. (7) - S4x17 - Creep

377. (7) - S4x19 - Outcast

378. (7) - S4x20 - We Will Rock You

379. (7) - S4x20 - Longest Time

380. (7) - S4x21 - I Wish

381. (7) - S4x21 - You Are the Sunshine of My Life

382. (7) - S4x22 - Hall of Fame

383. (7) - S4x22 - All or Nothing

384. (7) - S5x01 - Help!

385. (7) - S5x01 - You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

386. (7) - S5x01 - A Hard Day's Night

387. (7) - S5x02 - Get Back

388. (7) - S5x02 - Hey Jude

389. (7) - S5x02 - Revolution

390. (7) - S5x04 - Applause

391. (7) - S5x05 - Wrecking Ball

392. (7) - S5x05 - Blurred Lines

393. (7) - S5x05 - On Our Way

394. (7) - S5x06 - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

395. (7) - S5x07 - Into the Groove

396. (7) - S5x09 - My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)

397. (7) - S5x09 - Breakaway

398. (7) - S5x10 - The Happening

399. (7) - S5x10 - Hold On

400. (7) - S5x10 - Don't You (Forget About Me)

401. (7) - S5x11 - Vacation

402. (7) - S5x13 - Party All the Time

403. (7) - S5x13 - Be Okay

404. (7) - S5x14 - Best Day of My Life

405. (7) - S5x14 - Downtown

406. (7) - S5x15 - Not While I'm Around

407. (7) - S5x15 - Colorblind

408. (7) - S5x15 - Broadway Baby

409. (7) - S5x17 - I'm the Greatest Star

410. (7) - S5x18 - Story of My Life

411. (7) - S5x19 - Werewolves of London

412. (7) - S5x19 - I Melt with You

413. (7) - S5x20 - Shakin' My Head

414. (7) - S6x01 - Sing

415. (7) - S6x01 - Uninvited

416. (7) - S6x02 - Problem

417. (7) - S6x03 - You Learn/You've Got a Friend

418. (7) - S6x04 - Whip It

419. (7) - S6x05 - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

420. (7) - S6x09 - I Want to Break Free

421. (7) - S6x09 - Break Free

422. (7) - S6x09 - Lose My Breath

423. (7) - S6x10 - Far From Over

424. (7) - S6x10 - Rather Be

425. (7) - S6x12 - I'm His Child

426. (7) - S6x12 - I Kissed a Girl

427. (7) - S6x13 - This Time

428. (6) - S1x01 - On My Own

429. (6) - S1x01 - Leaving On a Jet Plane

430. (6) - S1x02 - Take a Bow

431. (6) - S1x03 - Bust Your Windows

432. (6) - S1x04 - Taking Chances

433. (6) - S1x04 - Tonight

434. (6) - S1x07 - You Keep Me Hanging On

435. (6) - S1x07 - No Air

436. (6) - S1x11 - Papa Don't Preach

437. (6) - S1x14 - Hello, Goodbye

438. (6) - S1x14 - Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

439. (6) - S1x15 - Express Yourself

440. (6) - S1x18 - The Boy Is Mine

441. (6) - S1x18 - Lady Is a Tramp

442. (6) - S1x18 - One

443. (6) - S1x20 - Beth

444. (6) - S2x04 - Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

445. (6) - S2x05 - There's a Light (Over at the Frankenstein Place)

446. (6) - S2x06 - One Love (People Get Ready)

447. (6) - S2x07 - Forget You

448. (6) - S2x07 - Nowadays/Hot Honey rag

449. (6) - S2x08 - Just the Way You Are

450. (6) - S2x10 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

451. (6) - S2x12 - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

452. (6) - S2x12 - Firework

453. (6) - S2x13 - I Know What Boys Like

454. (6) - S2x16 - Candles

455. (6) - S2x16 - Get It Right

456. (6) - S2x20 - Jar of Hearts

457. (6) - S2x21 - Try a Little Tenderness

458. (6) - S2x22 - As Long as You're There

459. (6) - S2x22 - Still Got Tonight

460. (6) - S3x01 - Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead

461. (6) - S3x02 - Something's Coming

462. (6) - S3x03 - Run the World (Girls)

463. (6) - S3x03 - Spotlight

464. (6) - S3x03 - Cool

465. (6) - S3x04 - Waiting for a Girl Like You

466. (6) - S3x07 - Jolene

467. (6) - S3x09 - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

468. (6) - S3x10 - Without You

469. (6) - S3x11 - Never Can Say Goodbye

470. (6) - S3x12 - Don't Wanna Lose You

471. (6) - S3x12 - Sexy and I Know It

472. (6) - S3x12 - La Isla Bonita

473. (6) - S3x12 - Bamboleo/Hero

474. (6) - S3x12 - A Little Less Conversation

475. (6) - S3x13 - I Will Always Love You

476. (6) - S3x14 - Fly/I Believe I Can Fly

477. (6) - S3x15 - Up Up Up

478. (6) - S3x15 - Somebody That I Used to Know

479. (6) - S3x16 - You Should Be Dancing

480. (6) - S3x16 - Stayin' Alive

481. (6) - S3x16 - How Deep Is Your Love

482. (6) - S3x16 - If I Can't Have You

483. (6) - S3x17 - My Love Is Your Love

484. (6) - S3x18 - The Music of the Night

485. (6) - S3x18 - School's Out

486. (6) - S3x22 - Forever Young

487. (6) - S4x01 - Americano/Dance Again

488. (6) - S4x02 - Hold It Against Me

489. (6) - S4x02 - Everytime

490. (6) - S4x02 - Womanizer

491. (6) - S4x03 - The Way You Look Tonight/You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

492. (6) - S4x07 - My Dark Side

493. (6) - S4x07 - Heroes

494. (6) - S4x07 - Holding Out for a Hero

495. (6) - S4x08 - Home/Homeward Bound

496. (6) - S4x08 - Gangnam Style

497. (6) - S4x11 - Tell Him

498. (6) - S4x14 - Getting Married Today

499. (6) - S4x16 - I Still Believe/Super Bass

500. (6) - S4x16 - How to Be a Heartbreaker

501. (6) - S4x19 - You Have More Friends Than You Know

502. (6) - S4x21 - Uptight (Everything's Alright)

503. (6) - S4x22 - Clarity

504. (6) - S4x22 - I Love It

505. (6) - S5x01 - Drive My Car

506. (6) - S5x01 - I Saw Her Standing There

507. (6) - S5x02 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

508. (6) - S5x03 - I'll Stand By You

509. (6) - S5x06 - My Life

510. (6) - S5x06 - You May Be Right

511. (6) - S5x07 - The Fox

512. (6) - S5x08 - Mary's Little Boy Child

513. (6) - S5x08 - Love Child

514. (6) - S5x09 - Whenever I Call You Friend

515. (6) - S5x09 - Don't Rain On My Parade

516. (6) - S5x10 - Barracuda

517. (6) - S5x10 - Jumpin' Jumpin'

518. (6) - S5x11 - America

519. (6) - S5x11 - I Love LA

520. (6) - S5x12 - Happy

521. (6) - S5x12 - Keep Holding On

522. (6) - S5x13 - I Am Changing

523. (6) - S5x14 - Don't Sleep in the Subway

524. (6) - S5x16 - Let's Wait Awhile

525. (6) - S5x17 - Lovefool

526. (6) - S5x18 - Piece of My Heart

527. (6) - S5x18 - Doo Wop (That Thing)

528. (6) - S5x20 - No Time At All

529. (6) - S5x20 - Girls on Film

530. (6) - S6x01 - Dance the Night Away

531. (6) - S6x01 - Let It Go

532. (6) - S6x03 - So Far Away

533. (6) - S6x04 - Rock Lobster

534. (6) - S6x04 - Thousand Miles

535. (6) - S6x05 - All Out of Love

536. (6) - S6x06 - Arthur's Theme

537. (6) - S6x06 - Wishin' And Hoping

538. (6) - S6x06 - Baby It's You

539. (6) - S6x06 - Promises, Promises

540. (6) - S6x06 - Alfie

541. (6) - S6x07 - I Know Where I've Been

542. (6) - S6x09 - Uptown Funk

543. (6) - S6x09 - Cool Kids

544. (6) - S6x11 - Chandelier

545. (6) - S6x11 - Listen to Your Heart

546. (6) - S6x13 - Someday We'll Be Together

547. (6) - S6x13 - Teach Your Children

548. (6) - S6x13 - The Winner Takes It All

549. (5) - S1x01 - I Kissed a Girl

550. (5) - S1x02 - I Say a Little Prayer

551. (5) - S1x10 - I'll Stand By You

552. (5) - S1x12 - Smile (Lily Allen)

553. (5) - S1x13 - My Life Would Suck Without You

554. (5) - S1x14 - Gives You Hell

555. (5) - S1x17 - Physical

556. (5) - S1x17 - Run Joey Run

557. (5) - S1x19 - Dream a Little Dream

558. (5) - S1x22 - Over the Rainbow

559. (5) - S2x04 - Sing!

560. (5) - S2x05 - Science Fiction Double Feature

561. (5) - S2x07 - Make 'Em Laugh

562. (5) - S2x07 - Conjunction Junction

563. (5) - S2x08 - Marry You

564. (5) - S2x09 - (I've Had) The Time of My Life

565. (5) - S2x10 - We Need a Little Christmas

566. (5) - S2x13 - This Little Light of Mine

567. (5) - S2x18 - I've Gotta Be Me

568. (5) - S2x19 - Songbird

569. (5) - S2x20 - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You

570. (5) - S2x22 - Pretending

571. (5) - S3x01 - Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do

572. (5) - S3x05 - America

573. (5) - S3x08 - Red Solo Cup

574. (5) - S3x09 - Do They Know It's Christmas?

575. (5) - S3x10 - Wedding Bell Blues (Bill)

576. (5) - S3x11 - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

577. (5) - S3x13 - Cherish/Cherish

578. (5) - S3x13 - L-O-V-E

579. (5) - S3x16 - More Than a Woman

580. (5) - S3x18 - The Rain in Spain

581. (5) - S3x19 - Take My Breath Away

582. (5) - S3x20 - Because You Loved Me

583. (5) - S4x01 - New York State of Mind

584. (5) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)

585. (5) - S4x10 - Jingle Bell Rock

586. (5) - S4x13 - Make No Mistake (She's Mine)

587. (5) - S4x14 - You're All I Need to Get By

588. (5) - S4x14 - We've Got Tonite

589. (5) - S4x15 - Unchained Melody

590. (5) - S4x20 - At the Ballet

591. (5) - S4x21 - For Once in My Life

592. (5) - S5x03 - Fire and Rain

593. (5) - S5x08 - Here Comes Santa Claus (Down Santa Claus Lane)

594. (5) - S5x08 - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

595. (5) - S5x09 - Every Breath You Take

596. (5) - S5x18 - The Rose

597. (5) - S6x01 - Suddenly Seymour

598. (5) - S6x08 - At Last

599. (5) - S6x10 - The Trolley Song

600. (4) - S1x01 - You're the One That I Want (ver. 1)

601. (4) - S1x05 - Cabaret

602. (4) - S1x08 - I Could Have Danced All Night

603. (4) - S1x10 - Endless Love

604. (4) - S1x11 - Don't Make Me Over

605. (4) - S1x14 - Hello

606. (4) - S1x15 - What It Feels Like for a Girl

607. (4) - S1x15 - Burning Up

608. (4) - S1x16 - Home

609. (4) - S1x16 - One Less Bell to Answer/A House Is Not a Home

610. (4) - S1x19 - I Dreamed a Dream

611. (4) - S1x20 - Funny Girl

612. (4) - S1x21 - Loser

613. (4) - S1x21 - It's a Man's Man's Man's World

614. (4) - S1x22 - Bohemian Rhapsody

615. (4) - S1x22 - Faithfully

616. (4) - S2x01 - Every Rose Has Its Thorn

617. (4) - S2x04 - Lucky

618. (4) - S2x08 - Sway

619. (4) - S2x09 - The Living Years

620. (4) - S2x10 - The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

621. (4) - S2x14 - My Headband

622. (4) - S2x16 - Jesus Is My Friend

623. (4) - S2x16 - Only Child

624. (4) - S2x17 - All By Myself

625. (4) - S2x21 - Pure Imagination

626. (4) - S2x22 - Bella Notte

627. (4) - S3x01 - We Got the Beat

628. (4) - S3x03 - Out Here On My Own

629. (4) - S3x04 - Bein' Green

630. (4) - S3x05 - Tonight

631. (4) - S3x06 - Hot for Teacher

632. (4) - S3x09 - Extraordinary Merry Christmas

633. (4) - S3x09 - Blue Christmas

634. (4) - S3x11 - Ben

635. (4) - S3x13 - Chapel of Love

636. (4) - S3x16 - Night Fever

637. (4) - S3x22 - In My Life

638. (4) - S4x05 - Born to Hand Jive

639. (4) - S4x06 - There Are Worse Things I Could Do

640. (4) - S4x09 - O Holy Night

641. (4) - S4x10 - Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah

642. (4) - S4x10 - The First Noel

643. (4) - S4x11 - I Only Have Eyes for You

644. (4) - S4x15 - In Your Eyes

645. (4) - S4x18 - More Than Words

646. (4) - S4x19 - Fight for Your Right (to Party)

647. (4) - S4x20 - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

648. (4) - S4x22 - To Love You More

649. (4) - S5x02 - Something

650. (4) - S5x06 - An Innocent Man

651. (4) - S5x07 - Cheek to Cheek

652. (4) - S5x10 - Danny's Song

653. (4) - S6x05 - Father Figure

654. (4) - S6x06 - I'll Never Fall in Love Again

655. (4) - S6x08 - Our Day Will Come

656. (4) - S6x10 - The Final Countdown

657. (3) - S1x05 - Maybe This Time

658. (3) - S1x12 - Smile (Charlie Chaplin)

659. (3) - S2x01 - What I Did for Love

660. (3) - S2x01 - Getting to Know You

661. (3) - S2x04 - With You I'm Born Again

662. (3) - S2x05 - Planet, Schmanet, Janet

663. (3) - S2x12 - My Funny Valentine

664. (3) - S2x21 - My Man

665. (3) - S3x02 - Somewhere

666. (3) - S3x04 - Take Care of Yourself

667. (3) - S3x05 - A Boy Like That/I Have a Love

668. (3) - S3x07 - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

669. (3) - S3x10 - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

670. (3) - S3x17 - Saving All My Love For You

671. (3) - S4x07 - Superman

672. (3) - S4x09 - Something Stupid

673. (3) - S4x09 - Being Good Isn't Good Enough

674. (3) - S4x10 - Feliz Navidad

675. (3) - S4x10 - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

676. (3) - S4x15 - You're All the World to Me

677. (3) - S4x20 - Little Girls

678. (3) - S5x01 - Yesterday

679. (3) - S5x05 - You Are Woman, I Am Man

680. (3) - S5x06 - Honesty

681. (3) - S5x06 - Just the Way You Are

682. (3) - S5x08 - O Christmas Tree

683. (3) - S5x14 - People

684. (3) - S6x06 - What the World Needs Now

685. (3) - S6x06 - They Long to Be Close to You

686. (2) - S2x03 - Papa, Can You Hear Me?

687. (2) - S2x08 - Ohio

688. (2) - S2x10 - Merry Christmas, Darling

689. (2) - S3x05 - One Hand, One Heart

690. (2) - S4x17 - Copacabana

691. (2) - S4x22 - Rainbow Connection

692. (2) - S5x08 - Away in a Manger

693. (2) - S5x17 - NYC

694. (1) - S2x10 - Welcome Christmas

695. (1) - S2x17 - I Follow Rivers

696. (1) - S2x19 - Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept with You?

697. (1) - S2x20 - Friday

698. (1) - S3x01 - Big Spender

699. (1) - S3x13 - You're the Top

700. (1) - S5x08 - The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

701. (1) - S5x17 - Who Are You Now

702. (NA) - S3x18 - Cry

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.06, “Cookie Monster”

Well, another week running a humorous (in theory) Andi Mack blog. Can’t wait to make jokes about what happens on the show this episode.

Let’s just check the episode title.

Nice, nice. Sounds funny. Lighthearted. I can do something with this.

*cracks knuckles*

Well, let’s get to work--

Oh? Children and guns. Ok. That’s... that’s a little dark.

But, I mean, I can probably still make this fun if I--

Ah, real life tragedy. Ok then.

Well, I certainly hope there’s at least another storyline in this episode that’s like, some kind of wacky, weird Invasion of the Body Snatchers type homage? I could definitely make jokes about that.

*crosses fingers*

Our episode begins with Andi, Bowie, and Bex at Bex’s place playing the Andi Game, which is where you just say stuff you know about Andi.

Bex is wiping the floor with Bowie by knowing lots of things about Andi like that she doesn’t like any condiments. None? How do you eat french fries? How do you eat tortilla chips? Dry? Who lives like that?

Bex taunts Bowie for losing. Bowie says it’s not fair, Bex and Andi have spent way more time together. I agree, the game is rigged. Just wait until they play the “How much do you know about The Renaissance Boys?” game. Then it’ll be Bowie’s time to shine.

Bex asks whose fault it is that Bowie hasn’t spent more time with Andi and Bowie’s like, it’s yours.

Which is such a valid point that Bex chooses to immediately ignore it and move on.

There’s a knock at the door and Bowie goes to check who it is. Turns out, it’s a tiny old lady whom Bowie refers to as “Mom.” She calls him “Steven” and they hug.

Bex tells Andi that Bowie’s actual first name is Steven. His license that one episode said Bowie, though, so did he change it legally? Why? “Steve Quinn” is a great name for a guitarist. It’s one of those names like Eric Clapton or Jeff Beck where you’re like, “That’s such a boring name, they have to be a good guitarist. They let the guitar do the talking.” Calling yourself “Bowie” is trying too hard. I guess that’s why The Renaissance Boys failed and Bowie’s stuck teaching guitar to some weird father/son duo in the back of a small record store.

Bowie’s mom, Cookie, goes around giving hugs to everyone.

Andi asks if it’s true Cookie lives on cruise ships. Cookie says yes, it’s like living in an apartment where your neighbors serve you drinks in coconuts. And, might I add, you also get the added excitement of knowing that one day your apartment building might sink into the ocean and drown you. So there’s that, too.

Cookie sees the mess they’re living in and offers to make the family dinner.

And dinner she makes, whipping together this...

...out of the stuff she had in her suitcase.

The family tries to figure out how this happened and Cookie says she never goes anywhere without a roast chicken, which is maybe the craziest thing anyone’s ever said on this show. I’d take it metaphorically except she really did literally have a chicken in her bag, otherwise where did this one come from?

And what was her plan if everyone had already eaten a nice meal? Leave the roast chicken just sitting in her suitcase with her clothes? Open the bag every now and then and pick at the meat like a vulture? Her neighbors on the cruise ship must hate her. “Oh God, here comes that lady that smells like chicken all the time. Just give her a coconut drink and she’ll leave you alone.”

Anyway, the family is so amazed to see food not served from a box, they don’t question any of this and sit down to eat.

At school the next day, TJ finds Cyrus in the hallway to ask him if he wants to hang out that weekend with his friends.

Cyrus is delighted to learn TJ has been talking about him to his other friends. I feel that. It’s just nice to be talked about, even if you’re not there. It’s why I leave every party by yelling “Later, suckers!” real loud and smashing a vase.

They agree to hang out and Cyrus calls his mom to let her know he’s been a topic of discussion.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Jonah walk to school. Buffy tells Jonah she likes his skateboard so he gives it to her.

They talk about going to the skate shop that weekend and have a fun time bantering back and forth until Principal Metcalf pounces on them and takes away the skateboard.

He can smell children having a nice time in his vicinity like a fun-killing bloodhound.

At Bex’s house, Bex and Bowie return to find Cookie has rearranged the furniture. Cookie asks if they love it and they don’t have the heart to tell her they don’t.

Bex wants to tell Cookie she’s not a fan of her coming in here and moving everything around without asking but then Cookie shows up with cookies like some kind of bribe and suddenly Bex can’t remember what upset her in the first place.

Out in the desert, TJ and his friends ride dirtbikes to off-brand rock n’ roll when Cyrus shows up.

TJ introduces him to his other friends, Lester and Reed.

Hold on one second. Lester? What in the world?

No one’s named their baby Lester in 150 years. In fact, I don’t believe in such a thing as a kid named Lester. Lester is the kind of name you only get as a middle aged adult. You wake up one day after turning 45, you realize you’re caught in a dead-end sales job, your hair is thinning, your face is getting droopy, and your dreams are unrealized. Then you check your wallet and see your ID has changed and it now says your name is Lester. And you accept that. You know why? Because you’re a Lester, and that’s what Lesters do. (Apologies to anyone reading this whose name is Lester, but, in my defense, I don’t believe you exist.)

I’ll tell you what Lesters don’t do: ride dirtbikes to off-brand rock n’ roll songs. Something’s up with this guy.

Anyway, TJ invites Cyrus to ride a dirtbike but Cyrus says he fears everything and that makes Reed laugh. Then Reed wishes to laugh more and he’s like, “Dance, clown!”

And Cyrus is like, I make observational humor. Reed laughs, appreciating that line from a meta-perspective.

Eventually they get Cyrus to try riding and TJ teaches him the in-and-outs of dirtbike usage.

Cyrus rides around on the bike and tries to make it up a hill. After a few failed attempts, and with encouragement from TJ and the others, Cyrus does something physical without hurting himself.

He does lose his shoe, though. However, as Cyrus notes, that’s really his brand at this point. He’s got lost shoes all over the county.

Andi returns home and finds her parents have become pod people.

Cookie has swaddled them and they no longer wish to live outside their cocoons. They want to change the channel but can’t, so Bowie calls for “Mommy.”

This episode’s got an aggressively strange energy to it.

Cookie tries to trap Andi in her web of motherly comfort, but Andi runs off before she can.

Over at Lost Art Skateboards...

...the one-stop shop for all your skateboarding and tattoo needs, Jonah and Buffy check out skate decks.

Buffy notices that Jonah doesn’t ever say “Docious magocious” anymore. Jonah feels like he grew out of it. I might argue there’s no age where docious magocious was ever a reasonable thing to say, but I guess we have different opinions on that sort of thing.

Buffy says she actually used to like when he said it. Jonah’s surprised because she used to make fun of it, but that’s why Buffy liked it.

Buffy spots the tattoo parlor connected to the skate shop and they go to check it out. They see a man there getting a tattoo and don’t immediately recognize him.

Yep, definitely not the profile of anyone they’ve ever seen before.

They talk about how crazy it is to get that many tattoos and whaaa--

It’s the principal?!

Jonah and Buffy run away like they just caught him chopping up a body in the woods.

Andi talks to Celia about her Cookie problem. See, Andi loves everything Cookie does, but everything about what’s she’s doing around the house feels weird and off-putting. Agree wholeheartedly.

Celia decides she’ll go check the situation out.

Back in the desert, Lester and Reed set up watermelons.

Cyrus has a question: are these watermelons for a watermelon eating contest? Love it. Love the thought process.

You ever just want to take a Saturday to go out to the desert with your bros, ride some dirtbikes, and then just chow down on watermelon? And preferably, chow down on that watermelon in some kind of competition of speed? I know I do.

I have a different question: whose job was it to lug three large watermelons out to the desert on their dirtbike? Lester, right? Freakin’ Lester.

Reed’s like, we aren’t eating the watermelons, we’re shooting them. Though, they could eat them after. No need to let perfectly good watermelon go to waste.

But the point is, the watermelons have to go pppffffghhttt first.

Or however you spell that. I feel like I’m missing some S’s in there?

And the only way for the watermelons to dopely go pppfffghhttt is to shoot them. Cyrus wants to know how they intend to shoot them and Reed shows him a bag. Cyrus’s face drops. Why?

Because inside the bag is Grandpappy Reed’s antique revolver from during the war. Not that Reed’s grandpa fought in the war. He also went out to the desert to shoot watermelons. It was a difficult time in our nation’s history and he needed to blow off steam.

Anyway, Reed’s Grandpa handed it down to his son, and then Reed stole it from him, and now it’s here, making Cyrus uncomfortable.

Cyrus goes to TJ to ask if he knew about the gun. TJ did. Cyrus says he’s leaving and he wants TJ to go with him, but TJ can’t bring himself to leave.

So Cyrus heads off alone.

Well that was a deep and dramatic moment. I wonder how we’re going to proceed from here.

Oh.

Andi finds her grandmother wrapped in a blanket, covered in food crumbs, and watching TV. Cookie made her a cookie and Celia was roped in.

Andi wanders into the kitchen and finds Cookie attempting to cut Bowie’s hair. She screams “No!” in panic.

She forces her other grandmother to drop the scissors, then pulls her away from the hair.

Bowie quietly watches this happen, then, without saying anything, reaches down, grabs a lollipop, sticks it in his mouth, and starts happily sucking on it.

Aggressively strange energy in this episode, man. Aggressively strange.

Andi talks to Cookie, who explains she’s being like this because she doesn’t get to see her family a lot so when she does, the mom thing kicks in. Plus being excited to meet Andi and all that.

Cookie says she has a gift for Andi. It’s a picture of Bowie as a baby eating dog biscuits.

This somehow answers and raises so many questions at the same time.

Bowie walks out and asks Cookie if she’s really leaving, and Cookie, like an old mariner, says yes, the seas are a-calling.

Andi and Cookie share one last hug before parting.

At school the next day, Jonah and Buffy dread running into Metcalf.

They hope to avoid him for the entire year. But they should know better than to show fear, because they emit a fear scent and that brings Metcalf right to them.

He admits it was weird for him, too, to run into them. He asks if they want to know about his tattoos and of course they do. He explains they’re all prison based. Or not. They’re based on him just wanting a tattoo. Or other stuff. I don’t know. We’re running out of time in this episode and gotta wrap things up so there’s no time to really get into it.

Metcalf’s like, guess you think I’m pretty cool now, huh? And Buffy’s like, no, you’ve ruined tattoos for me, thanks.

And Metcalf’s like, oh.

Then he rolls down his sleeve and runs off before Buffy and Jonah can see him cry. Buffy and Jonah fist bump in celebration of ruining Metcalf’s day.

Wow, way to make me feel bad for that lunatic.

Cyrus and Andi head to Metcalf’s office. Cyrus has come to tell him about the gun. He’s worried TJ will hate him for this.

Andi argues he could very well be saving TJ’s life.

Cyrus finds the courage to go in, but Metcalf meets him at the door. He invites him in and Cyrus finds a police officer waiting for him.

Cyrus wants to know if something happened, but Metcalf tells him everyone’s ok. The officer just has some questions. About the gun.

And you know the gun is a serious issue because even the police in this town don’t carry them.

Cyrus says he came in here to tell about the gun, but he’s surprised to find they already know.

Cyrus admits to being there and wants to know if he’s in trouble but the episode ends before we can find out.

So many questions up in the air:

1. Will Cyrus be in legal trouble just for being in the vicinity of a gun for a few seconds?

2. Who told them about the gun?

and, most importantly,

3. What kind of person names their child Lester?!

Come back in two weeks to find out the answers, Macketeers.

Except for the one about Lester. The world may never figure that one out.