#shes so kind and generous and intelligent and sincere and funny and loving and hard working and passionate and tbh what did i do to deserve

[k-rising]

Joy's natal chart analysis

DISCLAIMER: This is just a part of the analysis of the idol's natal chart, which wants to show a deeper perspective on the idols life. This analysis is carried out thanks to the data that appears in the birth chart. These are my interpretations of the signs and how they work based on my experiences with them. Everyone has different opinions and all interpretation and experiences within is valid. The point of this post is to entertain. [This idol hasn't confirmed her birth time, so I used the standard 12pm time to calculate her natal chart].

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

a perfectionist

workaholic

can be very hard on herself

intelligent

curious

in love with routines

Sun trine Jupiter

joy was born to shine

popular !!

well-liked by others

lucky af

has big aspirations and goals

charismatic

super jovial

likes having fun

extremely kind

likes helping and inspiring others

very sincere and honest

SELF-CONFIDENT

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧

calm

warm

loyal

sentimental

it takes a lot to get to know her on a deeper level

tends to hold back and wait before expressing herself

she doesn't like doing things she does not want to do

tends to avoid messy or unpredictable situations/crises

focusses on creating a reliable and secure life

tends to protect herself and her own interests

VERY ROMANTIC

LOVES LUXURY !!!

often looking for admiration

can be quite dependent on others for positive feedback

Moon sextile Venus

funny af

optimistic

always spreading positive energy

impulsive

trusting

carefree

generous

it can be hard for her to say "no"

it's easy for joy to make friends

again, p o p u l a r

Moon sextile Mars

EXTREMELY SOCIABLE

likes working in groups

protects her loved ones fiercely

Moon trine Uranus

a humanitarian

expresses her ideas freely

likes hanging out with intriguing people

Moon trine Neptune

an artist

creative af

has a natural affinity to music

very sensitive and imaginative

deeply compassionate

she may find it easy to relate to others feelings

emotionally tender

doesn't like being in a bad atmosphere

will sacrifice as much as she can to make her loved ones happy and in peace

wants to make things as perfect as possible

can be prone to emotional disillusionment with this aspect

perceived as glamorous or mysterious by others

joy may have psychic abilities :0

can become extremely devoted to her lover

she needs to watch out of not putting her partner in a pedestal

Moon opposite Pluto

her feelings are like a rollercoaster

joy can have the tendency of not revealing too much information about herself at first

may have the desire to control what others know about her

very skilled at figuring out other people's struggles, but not figuring out her own struggles

it can be hard for her to truly change

a women or a lover may take care of her at some point of her life OR she can fear about it and will try to control them instead

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲

joy is a fair person

again, she doesn't like confrontations, but if she thinks something isn't fair, she will speak her mind

likes listening to others opinions before making a final decision

Mercury square Jupiter

can have extreme point of views

EXTREMELY exaggerated

joy may jump to conclusions very easily

bragging can also be a thing here

Mercury opposite Saturn

joy can be so hard on herself when she communicates

can be very judgmental

strongly opinionated

defensive

can accomplish any goal she sets for herself

becoming skilled and competent in her job will give her the security she needs

joy needs to stop looking for recognition from others and concentrate on proving herself her own worth

Mercury trine Uranus

joy is a rebel

she thinks outside of the box

open minded

accepts others ideas

she doesn't care about what others think of her own thoughts and beliefs

has little patient

gets bored easily

she's ALWAYS searching new ways of doing things

joy can also have sudden genius ideas

prefers learning new things by herself 

Mercury trine Neptune

HAS SUCH AN AMAZING PLEASING VOICE

again, she's an artist

a dreamer

may live inside her fantasy world a lot

she can also be an amazing songwriter

can have such vivid dreams

joy may also be intuitive and having a very accurate intution!

can be perceived by others as very naive or childlike

expresses her ideas and thoughts in an appealing way

Mercury sextile Pluto

again, intuitive and psychic

joy is a very good story teller

trustworthy

she can be interested in psychology and the occult 👀

joy can also talk about controversial things nobody wants to bring up lmao

Mercury conjunct North Node

joy will overcome her challenges with self-expression and communication

she needs to open her mind to new ideas and ways of thinking

I also think that her mission in this life is to become a singer with this aspect

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬

so sentimental

compassionate

LOVES helping others

very protective over her loved ones

she seeks for a loyal, responsable, stable and caring partner

in her relationships, she wants to feel secure

Venus conjunct Mars

MAGNETIC

s3xually attractive

honestly? joy is everyone's crush despite of their gender or sexuality

argumentative af

loves creating drama just to keep things exciting

in love with love

Venus opposite Uranus

joy may fear commitment OR fears being alone

honesty is VERY important to her

needs space in a relationship

can get into/like the idea of being in a long distance relationship

attracted to unusual partners

she may hold unconventional views on relationships

Venus opposite Neptune

a hopeless romantic

again, joy tends to idealize her partners so much that she can have a hard time facing the reality of the relationship

she can fall for the wrong people

she can give too much of herself to others

can get easily used :(

Venus trine Pluto

joy can be drawn to intense relationships

doesn't like superficiality

she can seek for a long-term relationship

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬

joy gets angry when people hurt her loves ones

she doesn't like insensitive people either 

Mars trine Saturn

disciplined

hard worker

she's always looking for a goal to chase after

it can be hard for joy to find some time for herself, cause she's constantly busy

Mars opposite Uranus

has an unpredictable temper

gets rebellious when people limits her actions

Mars opposite Neptune

again, it can be hard for her to see clearly in relationships

there can be some contradiction between her ideals and dreams and her needs for achievement

she's very imaginative, yet either her or another person is restricting her of not showing that side of her sm i see you

Mars trine Pluto

again, very successful

she has a fiery drive towards the things she wants to achieve

joy watches, wait and then she attacks

she may want a partner who can match her success/power/confidence

joy radiates confidence and, again, s3x appeal

she transforms through her motivation and passion

managing her fiery side can be an internal struggle for her

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫

VERY devoted in her work

reflexive

responsible

wants to act in big scale

Jupiter square Saturn

joy may compare herself a lot :(

she can be very compulsive when it comes to her work in some way

she wants to focus on achieving her goals, but it seems to be something that always pulls her back again, sm i see you

Jupiter square North Node

she indeed wants to grow and learn her life lessons, but she tends to fall to superiority behavior a lot

she can also think she's ready or more wise than she really is

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

afraid of rejection and failure :(

she may also have assumed a great responsibility from a very young age

this aspect can cause a delayed development of her ambitions

but this position creates a sense of responsibility for herself

she's a very capable leader!

Saturn sextile Uranus

joy wants to have mental stimulation in her career

she likes working on a changeable environment that offers a lot to develop

again, joy likes working in groups

she wants to leave a good impression of not only her own group but also of the company

Saturn trine Pluto

power comes naturally to her but she may not know how to focus her energy

Saturn opposite North Node

in this lifetime, joy needs to overcome her fears of failure and learning to let go of past mistakes

this aspect will make her more mature

she will indeed do it but much later in life, tho

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐔𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬

changes expand her way of seeing things

Uranus conjunct Neptune

intuition and intellect brings a powerful connection here

Uranus sextile Pluto

tends to enter people’s lives unexpectedly

brings transformation and change into people’s lives

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐍𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞

business and success are idealized

Neptune sextile Pluto

joy has a natural ability to transform

has a strong desire to realize her dreams

might be fascinated by secrets and mysteries

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐨

she may like experimenting and exploring herself

playful

can be very spiritual

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞

in this lifetime, joy needs to allow herself to put other people needs first

she needs to learn to be patient

needs to love others and take care of them

she needs to learn equality and be fairly

cooperation and diplomacy can help her in this life

[filamero]

A Son’s Shame

Word Count: 3094

Summary: 

One of the worst feelings in the world is to disappoint the ones you hold dear. Painful, excruciating, and agonizing as long as they feel too embarrassed to even claim you as one of their own.

Shame is a burden that is borne to those who cause great destruction and realize it far too late.

(In which Dream is alone with his thoughts in prison, and he can't help but think about the women he learned to call his mothers.)

[ ao3 link!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28994955 ]

(fic below the cut!)

One of the worst feelings in the world is to disappoint the ones you hold dear. To watch their hope in you fade away until it’s gone, to be left behind in the dust as they continued on with their lives, to be cast aside when there were promises of forever. It hurts in indescribable ways, cuts deeper than the sharpest of blades, weighs heavier than the weight of the heavens that laid on Atlas’ shoulders. Painful, excruciating, and agonizing as long as they feel too embarrassed to even claim you as one of their own.

Shame is a burden that is borne to those who cause great destruction and realize it far too late.

Dream remembers what life was like alongside Puffy and Niki.

He doesn’t remember his birth parents. What their names were, what they looked like, what they did for a living, how they died—or if they even died at all, and left him behind because caring for an infant while poor proved to be far too difficult for them to manage. In his earliest memories, he was on his own, out on the streets of the marketplace and calling an old, thrown-out supply crate his home. There might’ve been people that taught him how to live as a ‘street-rat’—named lovingly so by the villagers who saw people like him as a bother instead of a cause for charity—but at the end of the day, the only person who truly cared about his own well-being was himself.

Until Puffy and Niki entered his life.

The night of the storm, when Puffy carried him home and Niki cared for him, was the first night he felt loved by someone else. He never realized just how hungry he was until Niki set a bowl of soup in front of him at the dining table, a bigger serving than what he ate for the past week combined. Or maybe even the whole month. His big, surprised green eyes met her kind, generous blue ones, taking the seat next to him and scooping up a spoonful for him. “It’s really hot,” she chuckled, making a show of blowing on it to cool it down before holding it up to his lips. “It’s good, I promise.”

Dream tentatively took a bite, heeding Niki’s warning and trying to avoid scalding his tongue. He would’ve been lying if he said that it wasn’t the most delicious thing he had ever tried up until that moment. His thoughts must’ve been obvious with the way Puffy and Niki laughed gently at him, Niki already scooping up and blowing on another spoonful for him to eat. The warmth blooming in his chest from the care slowly began to match the heat radiating off of the soup, and for the first time in his life, he felt completely safe. Comfortable, relaxed, at ease—even with the storm raging outside.

Puffy had let him sleep in her bed that night, wrapping her arm carefully around him as if she were shielding him from anything that could put him in harm’s way. The thunder boomed loudly that night, letting the world know that whatever otherworldly being ruled it was angry, its wrath coming down as the storm rampaged on. Yet he didn’t fear for himself once, simply cuddling up closer to the kind woman who he had been following around for God-knows-how-long, lulled to sleep by a gentle song that she seemed to know by heart.

Dream learned what it was like to be a son.

Puffy and Niki taught him everything that he needed to know—from English to math, history to science, and everything that they knew of in between. He grew to be sharp-witted and intelligent, his mind being his greatest weapon. Trades would come easy whenever he accompanied Puffy to the marketplace—negotiating the best deals, he found out, usually involved being charismatic and, though it felt a little like scamming, a spoonful of outsmarting the seller. Baking became a second habit, knowing his way around the kitchen well and helping Niki out whenever he could, especially on days where business boomed like during festivals or holiday nights.

But more importantly, they shaped him into what they knew. They encouraged being loving and compassionate, empathetic and sincere, reliable and trustworthy—someone who would make the world a better place rather than tarnish it any more than it already had been. “You have a very special name, you know?” Puffy said to him one day, as she settled on the soft plush of the loveseat while he sat on the floor in front of her, head tilted back to rest on her lap and look up at her. “Dream. It’s not really a common one,” she continued. “I think your parents were smart for giving you a name like that one.”

Dream tilted his head to the side, curiosity swimming in his bright, forest-colored eyes. “Why?”

Puffy snorted softly. “Look at you, already asking me questions. You’re growing up too fast, slow down,” she hummed, carefully threading her fingers through his soft, growing, dirty-blond locks with a smile. “Do you know what a dream is?”

“Those little movies that play in your head while you’re sleeping, right?” he responded, reaching up and tapping the side of his head for extra emphasis. “I never remember what mine are like.”

“Not that kind of dream! Silly duck,” Puffy grinned, a laugh falling from her lips and easing his nerves, just as they always did. “I meant the kind of dream that’s like...something you want to do. In the future.”

Dream paused for a moment, processing the information. “Like eating dinner? Is that a dream?”

“Maybe for some,” she responded, looking down at him. “But think bigger. It’s—oh! It’s like a goal. A hope. Something really, really big that you really, really want to see happen or do.”

He nodded his head slowly, though if the slight furrow in his brow said anything, it would say something about the connection it had to his name.

Puffy leaned down, looping her arms underneath his arms and hoisting him up onto her lap. She gave him a smile, one of those motherly smiles that made a certain warmth bloom in his chest and spread to the tips of his fingers and toes. “I think you’re our dream, me and Niki,” she stated softly, fixing some stray strands of hair on his face. “We’ve had plenty of dreams, you know. I wanted to sail the sea—” she gestured to herself, “—and I did that. Niki wanted to start a bakery and look at her business now. We wanted to have a happy life, and I don’t think we could ask for a better one than right now.”

Dream cracked a small smile. “Am I part of the ‘happy life’ dream?”

Puffy clicked her tongue. “You’re more.” She tugged him close into a hug, raising her free arm into the air as if painting a picture for him. “I don’t really know how to say it, but—me and Niki love you a lot. You...You’re something new every day, and I mean it.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “You’re getting sappy.”

She laughed loudly, playfully flicking his forehead. “It’s true! I think I’m getting close to my woman-thing of the month,” she joked, pinching his cheek. “But I woke up this morning, saw you helping Niki make breakfast, and—I don’t know—I realized that I want you to go far. Wait, no—I realized that I know you’ll go far. You’re gonna blow me away, you’re gonna blow Niki away, you’re gonna blow everyone you ever meet away. Your name is Dream because you’re gonna be big someday, I just know it!”

He fell silent for a few moments, glancing down at his hands. Could he really be what Puffy was saying? He knew that she and Niki would love him no matter where he ended up—but the way Puffy talked about him just then...He wanted to be that too. He wanted to be his own dream. “You really think so?” he asked, looking back up at her.

“Haven’t you been listening? I know so!” she grinned, pulling him impossibly close into a hug. “You’re gonna be great, Dream, I know you are. Just promise not to forget us, alright?”

He laughed softly, the noise muffled by the way his cheek was pressing up against her shoulder. “I won’t ever,” he reassured, wriggling out of her embrace to look her in the eye, a determined spark igniting in the sea of green.

Puffy cooed, squishing Dream’s face up once more. “That’s my duckling,” she giggled, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll be your dream,” he thought aloud, a smile on his face as he pictured the future. “I’ll be someone you can be proud of, Mom.”

“Oh, don’t say it like that,” Puffy chuckled, ruffling his hair. “I think I’ll always be proud of you.”

Dream grinned brightly, mind already made up. He was going to make her and Niki proud one day, he promised.

A tear rolls down Dream’s cheek, bringing him out of his thoughts. The obsidian wall is hard against his back, and the lava to his right emits just enough warmth to almost-mockingly caress his face. The laugh that bubbles up from his chest is bitter, rolling off of his tongue and leaving a sickeningly sour taste. Shaking hands come up to his face and wipe at his eyes, getting rid of the tears that threatened to fall. One was enough—though it felt like one was already too much. His eyes drift to the netherite rails keeping him in, reaching out and touching the warming metal.

It’s funny, how he’s surrounded by warm things, yet he still feels so cold. There’s a sinking feeling in his chest that refuses to leave, forever burned there the way the crater of L’manburg will no doubt be. The slow drip of lava is the only sound that reaches his ears, far away from daily life to hear any chatter that could be happening outside at that moment.

There’s something else though, an eerie voice in the back of his head—though he’s learned how to tune it out in the few days that he spent in this wretched prison.

It would be easy to blame his actions on the dreamon. To say that it’s influence increased in the time between when he first ‘befriended’ it to now. To say that it overtook him to do all the things he did, to commit all the crimes that he’s committed, and that he had no control over his body while it rampaged on.

But that wouldn’t be true.

Everything he did, he did on his own.

He knows that he wasn’t always like this. Back when he first claimed the land as his—and George’s and Sapnap’s—he had good intentions. When he opposed L’manburg during their first war of independence, because their whole country stemmed from a drug cartel. When he ‘advocated’ for Schlatt in the elections, because he didn’t really do anything wrong—all he did was join an election that was open to the residents of his server. When he smiled, and laughed, and played, and had friends.

Then it changed. He had ignored the dreamon’s influence at first—rarely letting it slip. But somewhere along the lines, he became in tune with it, using it to amplify his own skills: his combat, his intelligence, his charisma. It became a part of his daily life, working in tandem with it to maintain the order. He accepted it.

He wishes he didn’t.

Somewhere along the lines, in between his acceptance of the otherworldly being that he allowed to reside in his mind and body, the word ‘order’ blurred into ‘power.’ No longer did he wish to keep things in check for everyone to be happy; he wanted to be at the top and stay at the top. His days were spent building up this pillar, this pedestal that he set himself upon, raising him high above everyone else. If anyone dared get close, he loaded his crossbow and shot them down, no matter who they were.

The word ‘friends’ turned into ‘attachments’ and then ‘nuisances.’ How could he be the only one on top when there were others tethered to his ankles, stunting his growth? And when he did manage to climb higher, the bonds tying them together only brought them up with him—the distance remained the same, and he would be back at square one. The dreamon didn’t even influence the decision to spray every one of his bonds with gasoline, tossing a match to each and every one, watching them burn away into nothing but ashes. There were storm clouds beneath where he stood, no doubt raining down a mighty wrath—but it never crossed his mind to dip below, hold his hand out to everyone, and pull them up to his level where they would be safe from the storm.

Bile rises up in his throat. He had come full circle.

He thinks of when he was younger, alone on the streets, surviving on stolen goods alone.

He thinks of when he first met Puffy, showing him compassion after having just met him.

He thinks of when he first went home to Niki, already treating him as one of her own within seconds.

He thinks of how they taught him almost everything he knows, shaping him into the witty yet compassionate leader he is—or, well, was.

When did that foundation come crumbling down?

The hole in his chest seems to expand at the thought of his mothers—could he even call them his mothers anymore? He supposes they were caught in the wreckage when he destroyed all his relationships, isolating himself because he wanted to be number one.

Did they miss him?

Did he miss them?

He pauses for a moment, tilting his head back and leaning it against the obsidian walls the way he had done with Puffy’s lap all those years ago.

Yeah.

He missed them.

He doesn’t think they miss him, though.

Because if he were his own parent, in their shoes, he wouldn’t want to claim himself as his own.

He’s been anything but a good person. It was easy to deny this, to say that ‘the ends justify the means’, to act like he would go back and fix all of his mistakes in due time, back when he wasn’t locked up. When he still had people by his side (that stood by his side willingly). But now, deep within Pandora’s Box, when he had nothing but his thoughts to keep him company, it was hard to deny what he’s done. He knows that his actions were unacceptable, irredeemable, inappropriate in every way imaginable. Framing others for his misdeeds, manipulating nearly everyone (especially those who weren’t in the right state of mind), pulling and tangling the strings until they were so knotted that there was hardly anything that he didn’t instigate.

Who in their right mind would claim him as their son?

Tears well up a little in Dream’s eyes once again, and he laughs. It’s even more bitter than the one from before, acidic and disgusting all the same. It wracks through his body, shaking the tears out of his eyes.

Why was it only now that he was regretting his actions?

Puffy and Niki come to mind once more, and Dream smiles to himself tightly.

Once, a long time ago, he was told that his name was special. That it shone with his potential. That one day, when he was older, he was going to take the world by storm and blow everyone away.

He supposes he’s done that. Just not in the way the person who told him that expected.

“I’ll be your dream,” he murmured to himself, tears trickling down his face in a steady stream that mimicked the lava blocking his only exit off. The memory replays in his head, carving the crater in his heart out to be even deeper, emptier. His throat seizes up, and it suddenly becomes harder to talk. “I’ll be someone you can be proud of, Mom.”

He knows he’s not someone that Puffy nor Niki can be proud of. Maybe he was before, but he’s far from it now.

He’s a disappointment.

He isn’t sure that he could ever look his mothers in the eye ever again. His eyes would probably be glued to the floor when they visited him—or if they wanted to visit him at all. He longs to hug them, to sink into their embrace, to cry out apology after apology, to rebuild their little cottage of memories in their hearts that he had so carelessly abandoned, left to be destroyed in the storm of consequences that he didn’t even bother to consider. It’s pathetic, he knows, how quickly he was crumbling underneath the weight of his actions now that he had to face them. How he had been so blind to the hole that he had dug for himself, all because he was too caught up in soaring higher and higher into the sky—to be number one, to be at the top, to be someone that the world would acknowledge, for his own satisfaction. How he had stomped out all the hope that the others had in him, falling further and further into the darkness that he had so willingly stepped into. How he had broken promises just as easily as he destroyed relationships.

He’s facing his actions head-on, and it burns so brightly that it’s scalding his skin, and all he can do is stand there and let it scorch, in the hope that it’ll scar over later on. No one is there to hold him close, to press cool cloths against his burns, to sing him a familiar song as he drifts off to sleep. It hurts, it hurts so bad to have nothing to do but think about just how disappointing of a person—of a son, that he was.

His shoulders sag against the wall, everything—his thoughts, his memories, his behavior and its consequences—weighing down heavily on his being. He wants nothing more than to sink into the ground and ease himself from the pain, but he knows that he can’t.

For shame is a burden that is borne to those who cause great destruction and realize it far too late.

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[wildwcmen]

Basic Information

Full Name: Andromeda Haneul Lee

Nickname(s): Andie, Sky

Age: 20-27

Date of Birth: February 2nd

Hometown: San Francisco, CA

Ethnicity: Korean

Nationality: American

Gender: Demigirl

Pronouns: She/Her & They/Them

Religion: Polytheism

Occupation: Student, aircraft engineer

Language(s) Spoken: English, Korean

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Chungha

Hair Colour: Black, dark brown, blonde

Eye Colour: Dark brown

Height: 5′3

Build: Petite, somewhat athletic, titties kinda big (like c up)

Tattoos: N/A

Piercings: Ears

Clothing Style: Pastels, frilly dresses, pearls, definitely likes to rock a suit from time to time

Usual Expression: Flustered, concentrated, thoughtful, dreamy

Distinguishing Characteristics: Expressive eyes, sweet expression

Health

Conditions: general anxiety disorder, panic attacks

Sleeping Habits: Andie is careful to keep a strict sleeping schedule. She sleeps before 10 PM almost every night, and makes sure to get 8 hours of sleep. They prefer to rise early.

Eating Habits: She’s very healthy and eats an 80-90% plant based diet. She cooks for herself most of the time, only eating out or ordering in very rarely.

Exercise Habits: She runs every morning and has been practicing yoga since she was very young.

Emotional Stability: 6/10

Sociability: She craves social interaction, but finds herself easily flustered and quickly worn out. She’s a bit quiet and awkward, but tries her best!

Drug Use: Occasionally uses marijuana, has experimented with mushrooms, but nothing regularly. She grew up in a household in which drugs use wasn’t largely stigmatized, and as such had healthy experimentation but nothing major.

Alcohol Use: Yes, only socially.

Personality

Label: TBA

Positive Traits: optimistic, intelligent, hard working, kind, affectionate, athletic

Negative Traits: naive, unconsciously emotionally manipulative, emotionally withdrawn, awkward, strange

Fears: failure, not being good enough

Hobbies: yoga, reading, soccer, basketball, running, swimming, video games (the sims, minecraft, very casual), pottery

Habits: giggling when nervous, nail biting, saying ‘um’, pausing too much in conversation

Favourites

Weather: crisp, fall weather

Colour: sky blue

Music: dark indie pop vibes

Movies: she grew up watching sci-fi movies with her mom, and definitely has a love of those. she also enjoys drama and mystery.

Sport: soccer

Beverage: pink lemonade

Food: acai bowl with extra honey

Animal: bear cubs

Family

Father: unknown

Mother: cassiopeia lee

Sibling(s): younger half siblings

Children: n/a

Pet(s): tba

Family’s Financial Status: well off

Extra

Zodiac Sign: aquarius sun, gemini moon, pisces rising

MBTI: INSJ

Enneagram: The Achiever

Temperament: Phlegmatic

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

Primary Vice: Jealousy

Primary Virtue: Kindness

Element: Air

Flaws

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry (but also afraid of her own power tbh, knows she’s ‘supposed’ to be a leader but doesn’t know if it’s right for her or if she’s ‘good’ enough) | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | avoidant | restless.

Strengths

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny.

Skills & Hobbies

art | acting | astronomy | animals | archery | sports | beach combing | ballet | bird watching | blacksmithing | boating | calligraphy | camping | candle making | casino gambling | ceramics | racing | chess | music | cooking | crochet | weaving | exercise | swordplay | fishing | gardening | ghost hunting | ice skating | magic | engineering | building | inventing | leather-working | martial arts | meditation | origami | parkour | people watching | swimming | puppetry | pyrotechnics | quilting | reading | collecting | shopping | socializing | storytelling | writing | traveling.

Human Verse

she was raised by her mother in los angeles, california. her mother is a very popular artist and internet persona. she comes from a very loving home, but having such an outgoing and charismatic mother became a bit of a crutch for her. she never really learned how to speak for herself, and was often embarrassed by the stories of her mother that were spread all over the internet. as such, andie became a very quiet and reserved sort of person. she values intelligence above all else, and went away very far for college as soon as it became an option. her main goal in life is to step out of her mother’s shadow and be her own person.

Supernatural Verse

she was raised between the moon and earth, spending time on both planes so that she had a strong connection to both sides of herself. andie always knew that she was in line for the throne, and this was always something that stressed her out greatly. as such, she all but repressed her abilities in hopes that her mother would think one of her other siblings was favored by the gods instead of her. as a teenager she ran away to the underworld and made friends with certain gods, namely persephone, hades and hecate. she was gifted with magical abilities during this time, choosing to focus on those rather than the celestial gifts that she got from her mother.

species: lunar extraterrestrial & human abilities: repressed celestial manipulation, active lunar and stellar magic

[upthenorthmountain]

Normal

This is the latest instalment in my Family series of canonverse fics about Anna and Kristoff and their children. Huge big thanks to @karis-the-fangirl for the main idea in this story <3

Normal

When Karl was born, his mother examined him anxiously. The midwife assured her he was the very exemplar of a newborn baby, but still Anna waited and fretted, until he was old enough to prove that he was, in fact, a perfectly normal child. A very handsome, intelligent, wise-beyond-his-years child, of course - but nothing unexpected.

But perhaps it had to be a girl. When Karl gained a little sister nearly three years later, she was watched just as carefully, but despite Adela’s many talents, none of them were out of the ordinary. Any loved and wanted baby may generate a lot of magic, of a kind, for its family, but there was nothing more than that.

“Perhaps it will skip a generation,” Kristoff said. “Or perhaps there can only be one fifth spirit at a time.” Anna had to admit that that made sense.

When Lilly followed, and Anders, not much thought was given to the matter of their normalcy or otherwise. Anna was blissfully content with her four children; with the castle corridors echoing with the sounds of running feet and laughter; with her arms and heart always full.

“I really think I have everything I could possibly want,” she told her husband, on the evening of their fifteenth wedding anniversary.

“Don’t tempt fate,” he said, smiling.

Mathilde was born early the next year.

------

(six years later)

“Mother?”

Anna looked up from her desk. The door of her study was rarely closed, and just now it was her younger son, Anders, who was leaning around it to get her attention.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can I speak to you for a moment? It’s about Mathilde.”

“Yes, of course, come in. What happened, is she alright?”

“Yes.” Anders came into the room and sat on one of the chairs in front of his mother’s desk. At fourteen he was already the tallest of her children, but also the quietest - Anna knew that he must have a solid reason for interrupting her work, unlike Lilly, for example, who might wander in just to chat. But still waters ran deep.

“Is Mathilde alright?” Anna asked again.

“Yes. But did you know she always knows which way is North?”

“She does? I mean, she has a good sense of direction, I suppose, for a six-year-old.”

“She always knows which way is North.”

“Well, so do a lot of people, Anders,” Anna said. “You just have to look at the mountains -”

“No. I mean. She and Lil were playing a game. If you blindfold Matti, and spin her round, she can always point due North, with the blindfold still on. Or South, or to the docks, or to the sun. I can’t do that. Could you?”

His question and expression were sincere. 

“No,” Anna said. “No, I don’t believe I could.”

“I just thought it was odd,” Anders said.

“I suppose it is. Thank you for letting me know.”

Anders nodded and left the room. Anna leant back in her chair. It was a little odd. And now that she thought about it, there had been a few things that were a little odd about Mathilde. She’d always thought that maybe Matti just got more attention, being the baby; maybe she noticed things she wouldn’t have noticed with the others. But they were starting to add up.

Like how when Mathilde was a toddler, and despite the beautiful nursery full of every toy you could imagine, she only wanted to play with rocks. Even as a baby, if put down on a blanket in the garden, she would crawl immediately into a flowerbed or rockery and find stones of every size and shape. She would line them up and build things with them; her pockets were always clinking. But then, Anders usually had a beetle or a mouse in his pockets. So probably it didn’t mean anything. All children were different and had their little quirks.

Or that time when Matti had been - three? Four? And playing in the courtyard with some of the village children, and the game had perhaps got a little rough, and somehow a carved stone decoration on the end of a wall had fallen down (none of the children present seemed able to explain exactly how it had happened, and they certainly found themselves unable to apportion blame). Agnes had been just coming round the corner, and had sworn that the carving had been about to land on Mathilde’s foot, but had ‘jumped, somehow, in the air’ and landed harmlessly on the cobbles. Agnes also swore that the carving had cracked into two, but when Anna had looked at it herself, when she was making sure that it had been fixed properly back in place, it was certainly one piece of carved stone. The lines of the pattern didn’t quite match up, though, and she couldn’t remember if it had always been like that.

“Be more careful,” she heard Agnes tell the children. “Mathilde’s poor little foot might have been crushed.”

“The stone wouldn’t hurt me,” Matti had said. “It’s my friend, that’s why I fixed it.”

But then children always said odd things.

Or a few weeks ago, when Kristoff had taken Matti out for a ride up the mountain a little way, and that evening had told Anna a funny story, all about how Matti had asked what all the men were doing in a particular valley; and he had told her they were mining copper, and Matti had asked why.

“But the thing is, Anna,” he said, “When I tried to explain what copper is and what we need it for, she cut me off short and said that wasn’t what she meant. She wanted to know why they were mining copper there when there was so much more in the valley to the East. She was so certain, and so fixed on it. She wanted to go over there and tell them so they didn’t waste their time. I had to promise her I’d tell you, she wouldn’t leave it alone.”

But then all children got funny ideas in their heads sometimes.

Anna sat forward again and rummaged in the papers on her desk. Here were the reports from the Guild of Miners and Smelters. Running her finger down the page, she found a brief note - the copper ore mine was a less promising vein than initially thought. They were planning to dig deeper, although they were also considering surveying other areas. Perhaps she should send them a note telling them to look in the valley to the East.

Rocks. Stone. Ore. And compasses worked because of rocks as well, didn’t they?

Mathilde liked to be barefoot outside. Around town they could usually persuade her to wear shoes and stockings, and inside she didn’t mind, but in the gardens or on the mountain she would quickly remove any foot coverings and wiggle her bare toes in the earth or mud or gravel. And she could climb a rock face barefoot like a mountain goat. But perhaps they just indulged her too much.

Anna had a sudden mental image of Mathilde as a toddler, one time when they had taken her to see the trolls. She’d wandered a little way away from the others, and Anna had followed her at a short distance, and seen her daughter pull herself up onto a low rock and then just - stand, barefoot and with her baby curls loose around her shoulders, contemplating the mountains. And Anna had felt, for a moment, that heaviness in the air that was usually a prelude to a storm.

Maybe we haven’t been paying enough attention, she thought.

She looked at the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes before lunch, and she wasn’t making much progress here. She stood, pushing the papers back into rough piles, and went out of her study, closing the door behind her; then along the corridors, from the more public area of the castle through to the family wing.

Mathilde didn’t sleep in the nursery any more. All her brothers and sisters were so much older that they all had their own bedrooms. Matti’s was tidier than her nature would suggest, though of course through no effort of her own, with bed neatly made and toys stowed in chests.

There was a low bookshelf by the window and Anna knelt down next to it. There were a few books, but they were tucked in a corner out of the way; most of the shelves had stones on them, from tiny pebbles up to rocks that must have been hard for the little girl to carry; and although they looked piled higgledy-piggledy, when she sat and just looked at the shelves for a minute or two she could see the order. Order in the sizes and shapes and type of rock, in the colours and how they had been placed. And - to one side, she found one she recognised. They’d been in the garden, and Matti had come over to show her - look, Mama, this one looks like a duck! And it had, a little, so she’d made it quack and Matti had laughed.

It looked a lot more like a duck now. How was that possible? It hadn’t been carved, unless the mason had been extremely skilled. But the proportions were better. The beak was noticeably a beak, and there were little round marks for its eyes. The wings had crude feathers. But it was definitely the same stone.

Anna wondered how her mother had felt, the first time Elsa moved her hand and made ice.

“Mama!” Anna was nearly knocked over by her daughter running across the room and hurling herself at her. She wrapped her arms round Mathilde and hugged her, fiercely. 

“I was just looking at your duck,” she said, keeping her voice as calm as she could. “It’s very good. How did you do it?”

“Oh, it’s easy,” Matti said. And she showed her.

[fel-over]

Character Sheet - Larkdael

The Basics 

Name: Larkdael Truesmith

Nickname(s): Lark, Larky, there are a bunch of worse ones... 

Age: Mid 20s

Birthday: March 29th

Race: Human

Gender: Male

Martial/Relationship Status: Never married; Single

Orientation: Bisexual

Alignment: True Neutral

Physical Appearance 

Hair: Dark brown, cut short but usually messy

Eyes: Stormy grey/blue

Height: 5'9″ (175cm)

Build: Toned but on the leaner side

Distinguishing Marks: Freckles, strange claw scars across the left side his face, some less notable also rarely seen scars, and a small bite taken off his ear.

Piercings: Tongue ring, lobe studs

Tattoos: None. Eventually wants some.

Common Accessories: His bird-like gas mask, a leather necklace looped with a felhound fang, his handy utility belt and his prosthetic, mechanical leg. His handy work of course and more than just an accessory, obviously.

~

Personal 

Profession: Engineer/Mechanic | Mercenary, Bounty Hunter 

Class: Warlock

Hobbies: Tinkering, whittling, drinking, treasure hunting, bone collecting and reading, especially questionable romance novels

Languages: Common, Eredun/Demonic, Thalassian and broken Darnassian. Wants to learn others.

Residence: Nowhere (Has many "hideouts" throughout Azeroth)

Birthplace: Dalaran, Lordaeron

Religion: Unsure

Fears: Undeath, the loss of loved ones or friends, feeling trapped, spiders and insects

Relationships 

Spouse: --

Children: --

Parents: Treves Truesmith (Father, deceased), Arilla (Fairbell) Truesmith (Mother, assumed deceased)

Siblings: Lark is the youngest of five, two brothers and a sister (deceased), along with Myrna Truesmith (Sister, alive)

Other Relatives: None that he knows of

Acquaintances: Jinni Runeriddle, considered a sister, though there is zero blood relation, and is his engineering mentor. His other friends are few and far between.

Pets/Companions: A young, fel tainted cat named Kitten will sometimes accompany him on travels but usually she is located in one of his many hideouts. He considers his summoned felhound a companion nicknamed Princess, which she doesn't seem to care. 

Mount(s): A self made Sky Golem, which also serves as his storage for tools, bed roll, etc, and occasionally he will summon his Dreadsteed.

Traits 

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

╳   𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒.

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | liar | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive

♔   𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒.

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny

Additional information 

Smoking Habit: Rarely

Drugs: Sometimes, unless we consider Fel a drug because then it is often.

Alcohol: Yes. Very much yes.

RP Hooks 

For Hire: He is willing to do almost any job given he is paid. Not even faction is a problem as far as he is concerned, gold is gold after all.

Mechanically Inclined: On top of that, he is an competent engineer and mechanic as well so he also sells these skills whenever he can. He has a surprisingly long list of experience, from ancient magictech, to military airships, robotics and much more.

Choice in Magic: Surprisingly, he is friendly with the Council of the Black Harvest and does favors for them occasionally when he is in Dreadscar. Lark doesn't trust any of his fellow warlocks though. Still, if you need help there is a chance he will assist you. He did most of his warlock studies in Stormwind so it is also possible to recognize him as one of his peers or teachers. That being said, there are also those who disagree with his magic use and he has been occasionally hunted from time to time.

Wanderer: Lark travels a lot much like other adventurers and easy to spot by the mechanical golem that accompanies him almost everywhere. Sometimes on the search for knowledge to help him become more powerful as a warlock, perhaps he is just stopping somewhere for a drink and he has been known to travel without a destination. So it is quite possible to run into him out in the big, wide world of Azeroth. Not to mention he does tend to get himself in trouble quite often because he's a mischievous, adrenaline junky.

Past Connection: Perhaps you knew of him when he was younger in Dalaran or old Theramore, perhaps you knew of the family that his runaway Gilnean mother was from, maybe he pulled a prank on you recently or in the past, but that said the possibilities are endless here.

OoC Info

Looking for pretty much anything, friends, rivals, enemies, etc. Even people from his past are an option if you want to discuss it. I’m fine doing all kinds of RP whether it is dark or not. If you are unsure just ask because I’m super easy to talk to and it is guaranteed I'm just as nervous as you.

Must be 18+ please. Warning that I may be slower at times, could take days to reply, as real life tends to kick me in the butt and I have a full time job.

Contact Info

Tumblr, never opposed to random hellos 

Discord: Raebees#8181

In-game RP isn't really a thing for me right now, which I apologize for, but being an adult is trash.

[niffler-imagines]

Meet my Hogwarts Mystery MC

General Description

Full Name: Angelica Marie Dulaney Nicknames: Angel Age: 16 years old Gender: Female Pronouns: She / Her / Hers Orientation: Bisexual Birthday: November 14th, 1996 Place of Birth: Pinewood, Colorado, U.S. Current Residence: Hogwarts, U.K. (Traveled to England for Academic and Occupational Purposes) Occupation: Magizoologist and Author Astrological Sign: Aquarius Myers Briggs Type: INFP Species: Human Witch

Magical Characteristics

Blood Status: Half-Blood Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie Wand: willow wood with a dragon heartstring core, 12 ¾" and slightly yielding flexibility Patronus Form: Red Panda Boggart Form: Her Mother (She died a year ago or so, and Angelica feared her both while she was alive and even more after she died) Amortentia Smell: Pine, Books and Vanilla

Appearance

Height: 5’ 9” (175.25 cm) Weight: 145 lbs (43 kg) Body Type: Slender, Muscular Arms and Core and Legs, Wide Hips, Thick Thighs Cup Size: C Skin Color: Ivory Pale with Freckles Eye Color: Icy Blue Facial Features: Large Eyes, Thick Eyebrows, Grecian Nose

Hair:

Color: Light Brown

Highlights: N/A

Length: Chin-Length Cut

Style: Very Messy and Wavy

Often Worn as: A Small Ponytail or Undone

Extra:

Scars: Claw-mark Scars on Arms, Left Cheek, Lower Leg and across the Stomach

Piercings: N/A

Tattoos: N/A

Scent: Pine

Other: Doesn’t Shave so she had lots of Body Hair, Hands are very cold to the touch

Relationships

Father: Anthony Dulaney

Pukwudgie & Ravenclaw

Half-Blood, since his immediate family is Magic but their extended family does have a couple Muggles

Works in the American Ministry of Magic, and as an Author on the side

The type of Dad that constantly jokes around but is also good at giving advice and is incredibly overprotective of his children

Has a bushy white beard and long white hair, with blue eyes like the rest of his family

In his sixties at the moment, since he and his wife had Angel in their forties

Mother: Mary Dulaney

Pukwudgie & Hufflepuff

Everyone tells Angel that she looks so much like her, since she had Fluffy Brown Hair, Bright Blue Eyes and Freckles

Half-Blood, since her immediate family is Magic but their extended family does have a couple Muggles

Worked as an Ilvermorny Teacher but retired and now works as a tutor

Very stressed and tired, but also cared a lot for her children

Eventually was severely injured in a Duel and while she hung on for a few more years, she eventually died of complications from her injuries

Siblings: Jacob Dulaney, Oldest

9 years older than Angelica, 25 at the moment

A very cynical and funny older brother who loves his siblings dearly but still gets into scuffles with them and their parents. Had a rough past that he doesn’t like to mention, but works hard to overcome it

Also on the Autistic Spectrum, like Angelica

Works as a Cursebreaker who travels the world and helps those suffering from curse Tutor at Ilvermorny and then at Hogwarts

Has Short Red Hair, Freckles and Blue Eyes

Family Background: Her Grandmother moved from Poland to America, but Angelica eventually moved to England after her mother died so she could transfer to Hogwarts Best Friends: The entire Weasley Family, especially Bill Weasley, along with Rowan Khanna Friends: Rowan Khanna, Ben Copper and Penny Haywood Love Interest: Charlie Weasley Enemies: Merula Snyde

Personality

Somehow manages to be both a very mature person and a chaotic neutral at the same time. Incredibly adventurous and tomboyish, doesn’t want to hurt anything but will absolutely fight to protect somebody, and is pretty damn good at it too. Very kind and polite, also rather good with children and tends to impress authority figures with her maturity. She’s very witty and makes everyone laugh, and is also incredible in debates and insanely intelligent. Yet, she also swears like a sailor, often gets very nervous, isolates herself a lot, and suffers from depression at times. Her immediate flight-or-fight response is to fight, and she’s easily flustered but also very romantic and witty.

Trivia

On the Autistic Spectrum

Exclusively sits in weird positions, like crossing her legs in a chair or hiking her legs up on the seat or something

Barely ever takes off her Red Flannel

Likes to collect gemstones

Rides horses, works out, does archery, draws, writes, does woodworking, watercolors and reads as hobbies

Plays Dungeons & Dragons

Can sing in bass key

Flaws

Moody |short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful |stubborn | sadistic | masochistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | rebellious

Strengths

Honest | trustworthy | thoughtful |caring |brave| patient| selfless| ambitious| tolerant| lucky| intelligent | confident | focused  | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever  | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive| calm | protective| proud | diligent| considerate| compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly |empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible |sincere | witty |funny

Skills & Hobbies

Art | acting | astronomy |animals| archery | sports (on tv) | baking | beachcombing | belly dancing |bird watching| blacksmithing | boating | calligraphy | camping | candle making | casino gambling | ceramics | racing | chess| music | cooking | crochet | weaving |exercise| swordplay | fishing | gardening| ghost hunting | ice skating | magic |engineering| building |inventing| leather-working |martial arts| meditation | origami | parkour |people watching | swimming | puppetry | pyrotechnics | quilting | reading| collecting| shopping | socializing | storytelling | writing | traveling | exotic dancing | minor potion brewing | tricks & trinkets | crow keeping

[bakugous-abs]

Iida x Fem reader where she's really dull, and kind of a rebel so Iida despises her but the entire class ships it so they constantly set them up, with both of them being clueless, until they finally realizes they actually have feelings for each other? Iida needs more love!!

~Admin Eun

Tenya Iida was a man of authority. He followed the rules and he always looked prim and proper when presenting himself to others. He believed that rules were there to be followed and were put in place to protect others, including himself.

(Name) (Last Name) was a woman of defiance. She had her own personal set of rules that she followed without thinking, and truthfully she didn’t focus on how she appeared to others. She hated being restrained, and she believed that sometimes rules were meant to be broken.

The two couldn’t be more different, and even a fool could see that. Tenya had a tendency to put those who broke the rules in their place. Physically, Tenya was an intimidating figure. He was tall, lean, and had a face of steel the majority of the time in a professional classroom. (Name), on the other hand, could sincerely care less. No matter how many times Aizawa would look at her, she would always prop her feet up on the desk. Her philosophy was that it did no harm, but Tenya’s philosophy was that it was disrespectful. (Name) wore her skirt a little shorter than the other girls, and her blazer was never buttoned properly. Tenya’s uniform was always pressed free of any wrinkles and his tie was perfectly done.

Now, Tenya wasn’t the type of person to dislike people easily, especially his classmates. He was a generally nice person and could get along with anyone if they could handle him. Try as he may, he just couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than annoyance when it came to (Name). He couldn’t comprehend how or why she chose to be so stubborn in her insubordination. What was the point? Was it to come off as cool and confident? Well, that couldn’t be it. The girl barely cared about her grades, much less what others thought of her. Was it to present herself as a threat to others? Again, no. She simply didn’t care.

Tenya thought that this was no behavior for an aspiring hero. He could recognize her talent and her sheer drive, but her cooperativeness was at a standstill at rock bottom. It wasn’t like she was violent or cruel to others, but any time she was given an order she simply did what she wanted to do. He wouldn’t ever admit it to himself, but Tenya simply didn’t like her. He was the class representative—he was supposed to represent the entire class. How could he represent someone like that—someone who refused help from others and paid no mind to his words whatsoever?

Even though the two students at topic didn’t get along in the slightest, the rest of their peers somehow managed to see them as what would be classified as a ‘good pair’ (that being said, if Tenya ever caught wind of this he would laugh in their face). Perhaps it was because a large sum of them were optimists (or idealists, for that matter), but they found themselves coming up with fantasy-based schemes to push the two opposites together. The ringleaders behind it all were namely Ochaco and Denki, the two peppy individuals set on getting their classmates together. Sometimes Mina would pitch in, but for Ochaco and Denki it was like a mission.

It started on a Monday.

They decided to play it safe for now. Ochaco sat on the outside of (Name) and Denki on the outside of Tenya in the cafeteria, forcing the two victims together. (Name) audibly sighed, and Tenya tensed. Realizing how stiff his muscles were, Tenya attempted to calm himself. He exhaled, pushing the rim of his glasses up before picking up his chopsticks. Surely the girl couldn’t do anything to bother him at lunch, right.

Not even a second after that thought, Tenya watched in horror as (Name) brought her legs up and crossed them, sitting crossed-legged in the booth.

“Wh-What are you doing?!” he sputtered, nearly dropping his chopsticks. (Name) shot him only a sideways glance as she continued working on her lunch. “I’m sitting,” she replied bluntly.

“You’re sitting disrespectfully!”

“It’s not my problem that you’re annoyed with it…No one else seems to care,” she spat. Tenya sat there in his seat, fuming. (Name) sighed, standing. “Let me out please, Ochaco. I can’t take this.”

Ochaco watched in disappointment at (Name) walked away, prematurely ending her lunch.

“Can’t she just act proper for once,” Tenya muttered under his breath. Ochaco and Denki looked at each other with blank stares. If something that simple was able to mess things up, how could their plan worked? Still, stubborn as they were, the two started brainstorming other ways to make their mission a success.

The next time it happened was a Wednesday, two days after the first attempt. Ochaco called for an ‘impromptu’ outing for the entire class to attend after school. “For fun!” she had exclaimed, but only a few knew of her underlying intentions. Tenya attended without much complaint, and (Name) attended with a little help (force) from Ochaco herself.

“Everyone meet near the front gate ten minutes after class ends,” Ochaco explained. Later on she made a group chat where she ‘accidentally’ excluded Tenya and (Name) from with instructions to meet thirty minutes after.

(Name) stood there, arms crossed. She was little peeved that she was the only one standing there, looking like a loner of some sorts. Her head whipped around when she heard footsteps, her expression relieved. Once she saw the face behind a pair of spectacles, her expression dropped.

“Oh.”

“‘Oh’?!” Tenya repeated incredulously. He wasn’t too happy to see that it was just her either, but forcing himself to remain respectful, he kept his composure. (Name), however, didn’t respond and simply ignored him as he stood beside her tensely. (Name) glanced over at him and let out a snort.

“What is so funny?” he cried. From his perspective, he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary to draw a laugh from her. “You’re so stiff, man. Do you ever lighten up?”

“I am simply acting professional…” He attempted to refrain himself from speaking any further, but it didn’t work. His mouth opened before he could object. “Do you ever follow the rules?” Tenya watched as her expression contorted into shock. For a moment, he believed he had offended her.

“Pfft..” She stifled a laugh before letting it out boisterously. Tenya stared at her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t ever tell what she was thinking and he couldn’t ever figure out her reactions. He continued to gape at her in confusion before she calmed herself down, wiping a faux tear for impact. “Man, didn’t know the class rep. had it in him to sass someone back! I’m proud of ya.” She looked up at him with a smile—more of a smirk, really—and for some reason he found himself smiling back. He hadn’t ever witnessed this side of her, but he liked it immensely better than her ‘rebel’ personality.

(Name) playfully punched his arm. “Come on! Hit me with another line like that!” Even though he refused and she insisted, Tenya didn’t feel any annoyance for the girl. Instead, he seemed to actually feel relaxed and perhaps a bit entertained.

And so, the mutual understanding of one another began. Perhaps they weren’t friends, but (Name) liked to mess with Tenya whenever she felt the need to. Rather than get irritated with her actions, Tenya would find himself doing some of what she requested to get a reaction. Alternatively, (Name) would actually muse him by listening to him when he scolded her for something she had done.

“(Name), please refrain from putting your feet on the desk.”

“Pfft, as stuck up as always,” she huffed before setting her feet flat on the ground. “Happy, Your Highness?” Instead of stiffening up his muscles and muttering negatively under his breath, Tenya shot her a small smile and (Name) stuck her tongue out at him. The two had come to actually tolerate—no, enjoy each others presence. (Name’s) carefree and playful side was what Tenya needed to loosen up even if it was just a tad, and Tenya’s strict nature was what (Name) needed to start becoming more open.

Ochaco and Denki were sure that their mission was a success. It was inevitable, right? Ochaco watched as (Name) and Tenya walked the halls together, bantering back and forth respectively.

.

Over time, Tenya actually found himself looking forward to (Name’s) company. Instead of being a one dimensional figure of rebellion, Tenya learned that she had different sides to her beyond the apathetic exterior. He enjoyed discovering such personalities and seeing her different reactions.

Tenya was, well, in a word, dense. The boy was intelligent of course, but when it came to things like feelings—especially romantic feelings—he was dense. When (Name) passed him briefly in the hall with the side comment of, “Looking sexy today, Tenya!” he stopped. His heart started thumping like it did whenever he worked out or whenever he felt anxious. The way his face started to warm and his hands got all clammy confused him, and he didn’t know what to think of it. The days that followed that single sentence, Tenya found his throat becoming dry whenever he would talk to (Name). His sentences were choppy and soft, and for the life of him he couldn’t understand why.

So, he decided to take it up with his most outgoing friend—Ochaco. It was at early evening, and Tenya had just finished his homework. His hands shook ever so slightly as he typed out, ‘May I talk to you?’ on his cellular device and sent it to Ochaco. Almost immediately, he got a response.

Tenya explained to his friend that there was this person (who remained anonymous) who he was once mildly comfortable around but now made him feel nervous. He explained that his face and ears would feel hot whenever he was around them and he found himself anticipating their next interaction. After he sent a paragraph of his feelings, he received an incoming call from Ochaco. Almost immediately after Tenya said, “Hello?” her voice squealed into his phone.

“Iida!! You have a crush!!”

“What?! No, I don’t think—“

“You get nervous around them and you blush whenever you talk to them! You totally have a crush!” she enthused. Tenya bit his lip and kept silent for a moment. That couldn’t be it…Right?

“You have to tell them!”

“What? No!” he exclaimed, feeling embarrassed at his sudden outburst and composing himself seconds after. Ochaco, although he couldn’t see it, rolled her eyes. “Yes! If you keep these feelings bottled up you’re just going to get sad. Come on, please?”

Tenya sighed. He thought it over, Ochaco waiting in anticipation. “…Okay.”

Ocahco squealed, the noise being so loud that Tenya had to pull the device away from his ears to let her finish. “Tell me how it goes!”

“Wait, what—“ And then she hung up. Tenya retracted his phone from his ear and stared at the screen. Could he really do it? He wasn’t sure, but…Ochaco was right. It wasn’t good to keep these feelings pent up in his mind.

Throughout the day following his chat with his friend, Tenya was uncharacteristically nervous. He spaced out in class and couldn’t concentrate on his work that was right in front of him. The night prior he decided that he would confess to (Name) after school. Of course, that was the day that seemed to drag on forever, only adding to his anxiety further. Finally, the last bell rang and he hurried to pack up his things. Whenever he turned to look for (Name), though, she was already gone. Tenya was never one to run in the halls, of course, but that day he did. He sped out of the building and his eyes scanned the crowd of students leaving through the front gate.

“(Name)!” he called out. He felt the stare of others on him and immediately blushed, but his outburst worked in his favor despite that. A head perked up in the crowd before their figure turned, beelining for him.

“Hey, class rep!” she teased. “Need something?”

No matter how many times he had rehearsed this the night before, he found himself unable to speak. At this point, there were only a few stragglers exiting the school, but overall (Name) and Tenya were alone together. At the lack of response, (Name) creased her brow and poked at Tenya’s chest.

“You okay? You gonna say something?”

Before Tenya could even comprehend, his mouth opened and out flew the words he had been struggling to say. “I-I like you!” (Name) recoiled, almost stunned at the sentence and the casual tone of it. Her eyes widened as she stared at him. His face was a shade darker than red, but his eyes were locked on to hers.

“And I understand that it may in fact be unprofessional to date someone who I very well may likely work alongside in the future, but I could not hold these feelings in any longer because—“

(Name), smiling, gripped the collar of his blazer. The blazer that was always pressed clean, wrinkled. She pulled him down until he was at eye-level with her, her mouth curved into a smirk.

“Well why didn’t ‘ya just say so?” she chuckled before pressing her lips against his.

Tenya knew it wasn’t appropriate to be showing signs of affection on school grounds. In fact, that was probably one of the worst rules to break. But at that moment, Tenya Iida, the prim and proper gentleman, discarded the rules.

He kissed her—his opposite, the one he was previously annoyed with the most—and smiled.

Tenya Iida was a man of authority. He always followed the rules.

He always followed the rules, but for (Name) (Last Name), a woman of defiance, he could disregard any rule that life presented him with.

[daturanerium]

i’m finally all caught up with @thepenumbrapodcast​ ‘s juno steel stories! here are my discordant thoughts on the story and the characters.

(i did this with the magnus archives season one, too! check it out here.)

SPOILERS FOR JUNO STEEL from s1e1 to s3ep2

general plot stuff:

this show. THIS SHOW. is written so well. the characterization is top-notch. the characters are fleshed out and interesting and engaging and they all grow and change and are affected by people and environments and time and events. they’re not static in the slightest.

i haven’t come across a story that deals with depression and suicidal idealization so well. i’m thoroughly impressed with how the writers both portrayed them and how well they have (so far) portrayed the healing process. wowowow.

THE LGBT REPRESENTATION IS OFF THE CHARTS. QUEERS LISTEN TO THIS SHOW. they have a nonbinary politician?? mlm romance and kiss in the first episode???? main character is nb with he/him pronouns??? SO MANY BADASS SAPPHIC SPY/MAFIA COUPLES.....IT TUGS AT MY HEART. the big strong guy is asexual??? i could go on for days but spoilers! just know that genuinely, you will not be disappointed.

this show has two main focuses/themes: trust and the future. it’s been so fantastic to see how juno and the other characters view both themes and how they changed themselves and/or others while encountering those themes in their everyday life.

ramses o’flaherty and the entire plotline that came with him was absolutely top-notch. it blew me away. ramses is a true complicated character, a grey area that makes you question everything you believe in. the storyline tackles politics, morals, and values while keeping it exciting and entertaining. it’s definitely one of my favorite storylines ever.

the writers are truly incredible. i’m really in awe. they inspire me!  i wish i had the energy right now to give them the praise essay that they deserve but i’m really tired and i want to get this posted. someday!

the worldbuilding is the perfect balance between two extremes that a lot of scifi authors really struggle with. juno explains how a (sort of) functioning mars city works in a way that feels natural and easy to understand, and the world he describes is both familiar and fascinating. although the environment is different, the audience is all too familiar with corruption and capitalism and classism. they keep the world relatable while giving it some really new and funky details (do i want a cat with six eyes and a stinger? of course! do i want to step outside for more than five hours and get radiation poisoning? that’s up for interpretation). they also chose a great route in making this story take place in the aftermath of (what seems to be) a galactic war instead of taking the traditional Save The World, End The War scifi route. it’s refreshing, and again, relatable (especially to me: i was born after 9/11 and have lived through the entirety of the war in afghanistan so the underlining feeling that hyperion city has that Something is Going To Go Wrong....i feel that).

there is so much more i want to say but this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i want to get it posted!

tl;dr: juno steel is really a fantastic work of art. it’s engaging and relatable and teaches valuable lessons about healing, trusting, and moving on in ways i have never seen another piece of media do so successfully. please give it a listen if you have a chance!

some character/character arc thoughts under the cut :)

juno:

god so dumb. just so fucking stupid. i love him.

i’m going to be honest. s1 and the beginning of s2 Juno was really hard for me to listen to. the way he treated others obviously was, to put it lightly, not the best (the monitor incident with rita comes to mind; i really hated that). it almost got repetitive, and since i’m already not a big fan of the depressed-asshole trope i was kind of hanging by a thread by the time ramses came around.

god am i glad i stuck around. his character growth and maturity within the second half of season two and the beginning of season three has been so satisfying! it hasn’t been perfect, but that’s part of the reason why it’s so good--it’s realistic and believable. he’s realized where his faults lie and is making a physical and mental effort to better himself. he’s even doing it verbally, explaining to people he trusts (rita) that he’s trying to be better and then actually acting on it. too often we see the depressed-asshole say the “i’m trying to be better!” line but don’t see any actions following it that signify that effort--that was my fear going into this. but that’s really, truly not the case here, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. plus, in-canon-wise, i’m so happy for juno he’s come so far!

okay nonbinary king i see you

GET THIS LADY A CAT PLEASE.

that moment during the end of s2 when he found that baby rabbit in the sewers.....god.

juno appreciate rita challenge (accepted!)

his voice......is so soothing. except when he yells but he’s better now we’ve established that

i LOVE how as soon as he figures out that he likes you he sticks to you like glue. that’s super funny and cute and also fits him perfectly

miss dahlia rose if you’re out there.....

his complicated relationship with ramses was so fascinating and important. i loved listening to that storyline.

juno: “there’s no way in hell i’m doing this, fuck off” juno, five minutes later: [is doing it]

that’s pretty much the beginning plot of every episode lol ur so valid juno we love u

he’s ability to make the dumbest decisions continues to astound me. he likes to talk about how mick is always getting himself in trouble but god juno you’re really not one to talk

the fact that, in a world that literally runs on tech, he has no idea how a coms works. that’s so fucking funny. if you ignore the backstory that comes behind it.

did juno ever tell alessandra that he made it out of the desert alive or is she just out there in hyperion city somewhere mourning him with her wife?

i already sort of wrote on juno’s backstory but it’s so good. so good.

he’s so fucking soft. he loves so much!!!! and that scares him!!!! but he’s working on it!!!!!

rita:

is she the love of my life or do i just relate heavily to her? who knows

actually no we’re gonna talk about this

rita penumbrapodcast, queen of adhd. queen of oversharing. queen of tangents. queen of love. queen of excitement. queen of caring for her friends more than herself. queen of incredible intelligence shown in an unconventional way. queen of being underappreciated.

s1 and the beginning of s2 really stung me because i’ve been in rita’s positon--used as a punching bag by someone i care deeply about because it’s better me than someone else, because i’m willing to sacrifice my own health and safety for the sake of giving them an outlet. we put it under the guise of “helping”, but we don’t realize until later that it’s really not; we’re just letting them get away with hurting themselves and hurting us. the monitor incident comes to mind again. i actually had to pause and take a step away after hearing juno yell and the glass break--although my abusive friendships thankfully never got violent, that kind of unbridled anger was all too familiar and i was begging out loud for her to leave. she handles it like a champ, and i honestly can’t say whether or not that’s a good or bad thing: good because she knows he doesn’t mean it or bad because she’s used to it? because it’s later revealed that juno’s treated her poorly from the first day they met. i was really worried that their relationship was going to end up being static, “depressed-asshole bullies quirky female sidekick and she never fights back because she loves him” trope. but, thankfully, they’re not!

towards the end of s2 and the beginning of s3 we didn’t just see growth in juno, we saw growth in rita. she confronts juno through a thetabot down in the sewers, calling him out on his self-destructive tendencies and his habit of doing important things without anyone else’s help (in this case, disappearing for weeks without telling her where he was). she points out that maybe the only way for him to appreciate her is for her to do the same thing--disappear for weeks, forcing him to realize just how much he needs her. thankfully, this is after juno’s Big Realization, and he sincerely apologizes for his treatment of her and assures her that he’s trying to be better. (and, side note, but that apology was a good one. a really good one. he verbally acknowledges his many mistakes, including the one rita specifically mentioned, acknowledges that he does not deserve her forgiveness, tells her what he’s trying to do to be better, and then apologizes and asks for her help. that’s good. take notes, people.) later that season, she takes initiative for what seems to be the first time, coming up with a solid, well-thought-out plan, enacting it on her own, and saving both an entire city and her boss. you could probably hear my cheers from wherever you are on earth, because they were there and they were loud! rita saving the day mixed with juno breaking through the mind control with his overwhelming love and appreciation for her.....god. good stuff.

rita buying juno’s office as a surprise for him.......i Will cry

literally she’s just so wonderful i love her so much

every time she talks i’m like [one billion heart emojis mixed with like forty crying emojis]

RITA SPINOFF WHEN. i come from the critical role community so yall know for a fact i’ll back it on kickstarter

once her and juno’s relationship reaches a healthy balance (and they’re already well on their way which i’m so happy about!) they’re going to be so good together. so powerful. the Ultimate cheery vs broody relationship (although juno is less broody at this point and more....gentle asshole. we love growth). they were unstoppable before, but now? god help the galaxy lol

the fact that rita can just casually hack into literally any system in the galaxy is so.......impressive? hot? yeah.

please get this woman a girlfriend and a cat

rita x franny xoxo

RITA BACKSTORY WHEN. PLEASE KEVIN AND SOPHIE PLEASE AS A RITA STAN I AM POLITELY BEGGING YOU.

rita is now in space, which is an interesting development. i just.....”rita in space” is not something i would have ever guessed at a week ago

wait oh my god.

i was sitting here thinking rita has some sort of trust fund/is secretly rich and that’s how she bought juno’s office and kept it afloat, but with the most recent episode’s developments it’s probably equally if not more likely that she either hacked into the nearest bank to give herself the creds needed or hacked the person she was buying it from to make it seem like she had made the payments. i literally adore her whoops

the little rita episodes make me so happy and i hope we get more of them!

tldr: i love her and she deserves the world and more, i’m glad her relationship with juno has changed into something a lot healthier with juno’s Realization mid-season-two, i hope she realizes the hero she already is in season three

peter:

.........oh how the turntables.

peter, season one: juno come with me so we can be together forever and travel the galaxy! i think i love you! juno: aw babe i wish i could but i’m sad and the city needs me :( peter, season three, when handed the opportunity to travel with a healing juno through the galaxy on a silver platter: actually fuck this lol i have One Job and it is to Only Think About My Current Assignment. this is smart and healthy.

this man.....this man right here officer. stole my fucking heart.

i don’t really have an essay for him because we haven’t seen enough of him to really gauge his character development beyond an obsession with debts and his aging. i’m guessing that will change this season though

the debts....what are they

can rita hack in and pay them off

god wouldn’t that be so funny. he spends his entire life trying to pay off these impossible debts and it’s stressing him out to the point where he feels he can’t focus on anything else. and one day he comes to the fam and explains everything and rita’s like “oh shit that’s easy i’ll take care of that right now!!! why didn’t you say something sooner” and hes like “what” and she’s like “yeah!” and he’s like “holy shit” and then he gets married to juno and they live happily ever after the end.

no but real talk

these debts. there’s a lot about them and the way he talks about them that really worries me. i feel like having them be simple money debt would be too easy, so maybe it’s something medical? that would explain both his obsession with his aging and his uncharacteristically excited reaction to the healing mother prime (i think that’s what it was whoops).

he also mentioned someone else before juno, someone that had some pretty strong romantic undertones. maybe they’re sick? but peter doesn’t seem like the type to throw away a relationship like that so quickly, so it doesn’t really match up that he would have someone sick and waiting for him but he’d still go after juno in season one. hmmm.

this one’s a real mystery lads. you think you have something figured out about peter nureyev but it just gives you more questions.

peter is the one mystery juno can’t solve. god, that’s good.

his voice is so good. i don’t remember who his voice actor is but they’re doing a fantastic job thank you!!!!

i actually don’t picture peter like how he’s portrayed in the official art and fanart? i wish i was an artist so i could draw him the way i see him but alas. (i still really like his official design tho!)

listen. you give me a mysterious thief that doesn’t exist and i am Forced to love him. i have a type.

thankfully peter seemed to come around during the most recent episode (s3e2 the man in glass) so i don’t think we’re going to get a repeat of season one. these debts, whatever they are, are definitely going to cause problems. i can’t wait to see what the writers do with this.

(my only fear is that it will end up fitting the “gay character has a sickness parallel to aids and it is incurable” trope. although the writers have so far done a fantastic job of writing queer characters and worlds as well as turning tropes on their heads, so even if it may seem like that’s the case in the beginning, i’ll most likely stick through it to see where they take it. i trust them).

peter i know you’ve never had a family in your life but. im gonna tell you a secret here. found family is cool and good and you’ll like it if you give it a chance.

i love him and as soon as i cut my hair short i’m gonna cosplay him. fashion king

peter nureyev makes me want to fall in love

watching (listening) to juno grow and mature was already fantastic, but to see it through the eyes of someone who respects him, cares for him, and loves him deeply? good lord.

the way peter talks about juno.....yeah.

and peter as an individual....WOW. master thief, yes wow impressive! but his growth is already focusing so much on trust and it’s been written so well. i can’t wait to see how much he continues to grow and learn to trust this season!!!

i would love to see him continue to narrate s3. i think it’s a really strong change of pace and it also puts some extra emphasis on juno’s growth while focusing on peter’s motivations and inner thoughts. i’m genuinely fine either way tho!

tl;dr: i love u emo boy i love u i love u

[lunarity2013]

OC Details: Lucy Stone

So, I figured it was high time I told you guys about my Hogwarts Mystery OC! I got most of these questions on here from @thewasp1995 (Go check out his OC David, btw, it’s super detailed and so cool!) I really hope you guys enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------

Name: Lucille Maria Stone

DOB: October 16, 1972 (turned 12 during her first year)

Parents: Candace and Sean Stone

Siblings: Nathan Samson Stone (oldest, 9-year age difference, Ravenclaw), Casey Andrew Stone (youngest, 6-year age difference, muggle)

Nationality: Irish

Ancestry: Muggleborn

House: Hufflepuff

Height: as of Year 4, she's 5'1". She doesn't get much taller until after graduation, stopping at about 5’3” by age 25

Eyes: large, round, dark brown

Hair: waist length, light brown, wavy

Sexuality: Demisexual, hetero-leaning

Likes: reading, writing, singing, helping others, cheering her friends on, card games, charms, astronomy, ancient runes, nifflers, cats

Dislikes: being the center of attention, hurting people, fighting, doctor’s offices, spiders, clowns, being betrayed, baking (she’s bad at it)

Friends: Rowan (best friend), Ben (best friend), Penny (surrogate sister), Charlie (competitive best friend), Bill (surrogate brother), Tonks (good friend), Barnaby (crush), Tulip (good friend), Andre (friend)

Enemies: Merula (formerly), Ismelda (thinks her constant threats are a big red flag), Rakepick (evil), Snape (his decision), Nathan (depending on the game's ending)

Neutral: Skye (she helps tutor her), Talbott (more Penny’s friend, but she enjoys seeing him), Merula (after finding Nathan), Liz (Barnaby and Charlie's good friend), Murphy (he's cool)

*Badeea, Jae, Diego, and others to be decided at a later date, after I actually meet them in-game*

Love Interest: Barnaby Lee

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Strengths/Weaknesses/Hobbies: 

Positive traits: honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused  | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty |funny

Negative Traits: moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power - hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | masochistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | rebellious

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What’s their personal philosophy?  Do they even have one?

For much of the earlier portion of her life, Lucy’s motto would be “do unto others and you would have them do unto you”. Up until about the time Rakepick shows up, and Ben’s secret-keeping, and just the all-around mess that her life becomes when the Vaults come into question, this is what she lives by. After about Year 4? It shifts a bit, focusing her own values and energy towards protecting her loved ones and innocent people from those who would cause harm, and doing whatever necessary to stop them. And after finding Nathan, she begins to include him in the latter.

How do they feel about their status and reputation as the curse-breaker in the school?

Lucy was never one for the spotlight, even as a little kid. She was content for years to simply look up to her older brother in his successes, and then later to help her parents with her baby brother, showering him with love and attention. Actively searching for the Vaults, and subsequently breaking the curses within, was only part of her plan to try and find some closure as to her brother’s disappearance (something she has convinced herself he was merely a victim of and not an active participant, to save herself grief of her brother not being what she thought). She doesn’t like having so many eyes on her, especially for something she knows is dangerous and putting herself and her friends in harm’s way. But every time she tries to back out and leave it be, she gets dragged back in.

Did they get sorted into the Hogwarts House they expected to?  Did the Sorting Hat have any problems sorting them?  Or did it not even have to touch their head?

Before Nathan’s disappearance, she would have loved to consider herself lucky enough to be a witch, let alone be sorted into her brother’s house. After his disappearance, however, she had mixed feelings about the idea of sharing his crest and colors, and possibly having more eyes on her than before. Her values lined up differently than his, however, and the Sorting Hat gave her an out in the form of Hufflepuff house. She was still a little disappointed by being so far from her brother’s life there, but years later, she’d swear up and down that being put in the house of fairness, honesty, and loyalty is where she truly belonged.

What’s their personal style?

Lucy wears a lot of early Autumn colors, usually. Lots of oranges, yellows, browns, and olive greens are kind of signature to her style. She typically wears things that make her feel cute and kind of kid-like, so over-large sweaters with skirts or overall shorts and dresses with print tops (floral or stripes, typically). She usually pairs both with comfortable boots and long socks. She wears her hair down most of the time, except when actively exploring the Vaults and when studying for final exams.When it gets cold, she’ll sometimes “borrow” sweaters from her friends to stay warm (usually Bill and Barnaby).

What are their coping strategies for dealing with everything (the Vaults, Jacob, etc.), if they have any?

Lucy has terrible coping mechanisms for her problems, unfortunately. She convinced herself early on that her brother had probably been killed by the Cursed Vaults while trying to help protect others from the curses, and is thus even more broken up when she eventually does find him and sees what kind of person he’s really become. She tries at the start of every year to ignore the signs of another Vault opening, just trying to live a normal, Hogwarts-student life, only to be dragged into it when people have already been attacked or hurt. After the incident with the dragon and Rakepick, she tries to close herself off, thinking it’s because they’re so close to her that her friends keep getting hurt. It doesn’t work, and her friends end up finding her and hugging her as she cries about everything that seems to go wrong with her life.

What electives do they take throughout their time at Hogwarts?

If she could, she would take every class available because it was so hard to choose just a few! In the end, however, she settled on Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, and Ancient Runes, because Alchemy was only for 7th years, and Arithmancy was “just magic math”. Muggle Studies was almost chosen instead of Divination, but Luc decided she wanted something a little more challenging. (She didn’t realize her patience was what would be tested lol).

Are they in any clubs or extracurricular activities?  What about Quidditch?

It’s really hard to find time to do extracurriculars when you’re trying to protect people from being frozen in ice blocks or sleep-walking into an acromantula nest. She did join the Frog Choir after third year, though unfortunately drops out between 5th-6th year to focus on her studies (and the Vaults). She occasionally goes to the music club, though is not an official member. Unfortunately, Lucy may be a decent flyer, but isn’t quite cut out for Quidditch. Besides, she’d rather be in the stands (huddled and warm) while watching her friends play instead. Sometimes she’ll help Madame Pomfrey with healing students in the Hospital Wing, but the smell of the potions and medicines reminds her of the doctor’s office, so she wouldn’t ever do it for a living.

How studious are they?  What kind of studying strategies do they use?  Do they have any study groups with their friends?

Lucy is a stickler for good note-taking, bringing a bunch of spiral notebooks and colored gel pens and highlighters with her every year to take “proper” notes to share with her friends during their weekly study sessions. She and Rowan usually lead for most classes, though Penny takes charge for Potions, Ben (and Rowan and Bill, sometimes) lead for Charms, and Charlie and Barnaby for Care of Magical Creatures. Lucy, Rowan, and Bill sometimes help some of the younger students set up study groups as well, and often let the younger Weasley siblings and Cedric join their sessions, too. Liz doesn’t always study with them, but will when she needs to, Tulip and Tonks only show up when forced or bribed, and Skye was wrangled into coming once, but got everyone off task getting into a trash-talk showdown with Andre over the Gryffindor v. Ravenclaw game the following day; everyone else either has a different group to study with or refuses to do so entirely.

How willing are they when it comes to breaking school rules?

Lucy hates getting in trouble, since it’s being put under a spotlight in a more negative context for her. The first three years of school, she tries whatever she can to avoid breaking the rules when possible. After the Fear Vault is closed, however, she starts loosening up a little bit. She still doesn’t like to break the rules, but she’ll do it with less coercing, and gets even sneakier to get away with it.

Do they hang out with any of their friends over breaks?  If so, which one(s) and what do they do?

Living all the way out in Ireland, just outside of Dublin, it’s a bit harder to get to visit her friends before she heads into London for her school shopping at the end of summer holiday. Charlie and Bill make use of the fireplace to invite her over for dinner a few times during the break, flooing her there and back without much hassle. She makes time to spend with Rowan specifically during the summer, inviting her over to spend a week or so every year, and Rowan inviting her for the same amount at her house right after. She gets an owl (a cooky brown owl that her little brother named Bernard) for her family to send her mail during the year, and uses him herself to keep in touch with the rest of her friends until September rolls around again.

After they graduate, do they fall off the map and keep a low profile?  Or do they continue to exist in the public eye?

After deciding very early on that she didn’t much care for being the center of attention, once she had the opportunity to fade into obscurity, she took it. She eventually married Barnaby and moved with him to Romania, where he and Charlie work together with dragons. Lucy decides a little later on to document some of her childhood, but feeling awkward about writing her own life story down, changes the names and some of the details to instead create a fictional book series for kids. It later gets published under a pseudonym and achieves moderate success in both the muggle and magical worlds.

How does their career path differ from what they thought they’d be doing?  Or does it differ at all?

It took Lucy her entire life to figure out what she wanted to do. At Hogwarts, when asked what career path she wanted to pursue, she was so shocked that she asked if she could “just go back to bed”. She decided to take whatever classes could be most broadly considered for a number of professions, and even then wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do once she left Hogwarts. She decided to handle her personal life first, cheering her friends on as they found their paths, and then going with Barnaby so he could achieve his dream. It was only later, after beginning to just write things down, that she realized how much she enjoyed doing it.

Do they have any hobbies?  What about any talents or aptitudes?

She loves taking some time to just goof off with her friends, playing Gobstones or getting some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. She’ll spend some gloomy weekends curled up in a big armchair in the library, quietly reading to herself (and later, helping Barnaby with his dyslexia). She’s also a major card shark, winning almost every muggle card game she’s ever played and often tricking her friends into playing with her and losing anything from candy to wizard cards to even money, on occasion. She’s particularly good in Charms class, as well as Astronomy and Ancient Runes.

Do they have any favorite spells?

She likes spells that can used to help others, like Episkey or Protego. She has a certain fondness for Expecto Patronum, of course. She also likes using Lumos, to light up her bed behind the curtains after a bad nightmare.

What’s one thing they did or thought as a child that they later look back and cringe about?

Long after she and Barnaby finally get together, they both end up hearing about the bets their friends placed on their relationship and how lovesick they apparently acted before asking each other out. Tonks and Tulip will sometimes act out their mutual pining at lunch or at the Three Broomsticks, leaving both of them flustered and cringing over just how insufferable they must've been before they realized their feelings were returned. If she could go back and do it over, she might almost be tempted to have just kissed Barnaby at the Celestial Ball and avoided the whole mess. Almost.

If they could travel anywhere at all in the world—money, time, and language not being an issue—where would they go and who would they take with them?

It's a tough choice between some very good options, travelling to historical landmarks across the globe with Rowan, getting tasty food in Paris with Penny, or taking her family for a nice, normal vacation to Disney in the States. But eventually, she'd probably decide on travelling the world looking for various beasts and creatures with Barnaby, and writing about their adventures.

If they’re an Animagus, how easy was becoming one for them?  Were they happy with their Animagus form?  Or did they want it to be something different?

Lucy studied up on being an animagus with Talbott while at Hogwarts, but couldn't bring herself to actually become one until after graduation. She remains an unregistered sparrow animagus even after Voldemort is finally defeated. She would've liked to be maybe some kind of cat, but can't deny that being so small and being able to fly are some great advantages when the second war rolls around.

Do they like what they see in the mirror?

Had it not been for her magical abilities making themselves known as she grew up, she might've gone through all of primary school unnoticed. As it was, kids often ostracized and ridiculed her for being weird and different until she finally went to Hogwarts. Between that and the guilt she carries for everyone that gets hurt by the Vaults, it takes her a very long time to come to terms with herself and her self-worth.

How good are they at taking compliments?

Lucy is pretty decent at taking compliments, so long as it's not a bunch all at one time; she gets anxious when too many people try and talk to her at once. When Barnaby compliments her, though, she gets flustered and stumbles over her words while blushing really bright, almost blocking out her freckles.

How much do they trust their friends?

Lucy trusts those she keeps close to an almost impossible degree. It can sometimes lead her to trouble, such as leaving her vulnerable to pranks by Tonks or Tulip.

Are they pretty self-reliant?  Or do they like to go to their friends for help?

At first, she's much more willing to do things as a group, having her friends' backs as much as they have hers. Later on, however, she begins closing herself off, trying to take on everything herself to avoid her friends getting hurt because of her. It doesn't last very long, however, as they all work better as a team.

Who is their favorite Weasley?  Or can they not choose?

Ginny and Ron are just too cute, from what little she's seen of them. Bill is like another older brother, and she loves him dearly. She and Charlie are great friends, but anything and everything becomes a competition with them, starting with a "who knows more about dragons" contest that she actually won in their 2nd year. They could almost have been considered rivals up until later on in Year 4. Percy is alright, she Guesses, but even she thinks he needs to loosen up a bit. And she spends most of her time trying to just keep the twins separated from Tonks and Tulip, if only to avoid the Apocalypse.

What’s the thing they like least about themselves?

She's a little stuffy about rules, she worries too much, her actions and choices keep putting people in danger, and FFS, she faced a DRAGON and still can't kill one measly little spider??

What’s the thing they like most about themselves?

She cares about her friends and family, she would never go out of her way to betray them or to hurt others. She takes pride in the lives she's helped and saved.

How bad is their temper?  Do they tend to lash out at others or themselves?

Her temper only gets really out of hand when someone she cares about gets hurt. She can usually handle someone hurting her with nothing more than a few years, but attack the people she cares about? That'll be the last thing you ever do.

What’s their biggest regret in life, if they have any?

She blames herself for far too many things. She wishes Ben hadn't been hurt and controlled by Rakepick, she thinks she could've done more to help and support him. She feels like if she had been more observant as a kid, she might've seen something going on with Nathan and could've stopped his disappearance. She's terrified about how the two of them being so involved in the Cursed Vaults with effect Casey as he grows up, and if he'll end up inheriting their legacy or not, if it might get him killed.

What kind of first impression do they tend to leave on others?

Lucy is sweet, doe-eyed, and a little naïve. A pretty face, very smart, but very open and trusting. Would apologize to you if you poured soup into her lap. Most would either want to protect the sweet, innocent child or absolutely take advantage of her trusting and kind nature.

What is the achievement they’re most proud of?

She once managed to eat an entire tin of her mom's homemade butter cookies without vomiting (her mom isn't a very good cook, and definitely can't bake). But now she's expected to eat at least some every time her mom bakes them when she's home. (Just another advantage to being away at a boarding school most of the year).

Do they like having photos taken of themselves?

She's a little camera shy, depending on who she's with; any groups larger than maybe 5 and she'll try to duck around and take the picture herself instead. But small groups, she can handle it. And she'll take any photo with Tonks, so long as she changes something about her appearance to take the main attention off of her.

What’s one big way that your MC differs from the in-game canon?

Lucy does not like searching for the Vaults. She would have been content with maybe a few of his journals and an official, personal explanation from Dumbledore. Sh didn't need this. She doesn't want to be the one fixing this, but apparently no one else knows how or cares to try, so she feels responsible. She's also not in the same house as her brother.

If they’re an Animagus, why did you choose the form for them that you did?

Lucy becomes an animagus much later than in canon. She becomes one right before the 2nd war, in order to evade detection. She becomes a little sparrow bird, small and common enough to escape notice. I chose it because of its relation to the second Fable game, whose protagonist is named "Sparrow".

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So, I hope ya’ll enjoyed! Let me know if any of you have any more questions!

(Edit: I am so sorry about the picture formatting, I know its hideous, but I have somehow lost the ability to use my mobile app to fix it (no fucking signal, my ass) but I promise I will try again tomorrow, when I am far away from the lack of signal at my house.)

[winterisakillerwrites]

Love Forty Down

One Shot: Last Minutes & Lost Evenings 5/16                                          

Character/Relationship: Tom Hiddleston/ Rosemary Mathews (OFC)  

Genre: Romance/Angst                                                                  

Summary: The first step is always the hardest.                                  

Rating: PG                                                                                                  

Warnings/Authors Notes:  This is the fifth part of Last Minutes & Lost Evenings, this series is currently on-going and will flit back and forth between past, present and future.This piece started out with a much different direction but Rosemary had other ideas and so here we are. There is still much more to come with Tom and Rosie.

Previous

‘I’m love-forty down

As the day slips away from me

I have to say that, honestly,

I still haven’t found

The person who can take the strain

Of deuce, advantage, back again.

So I’ll do this on my own;

There’s no one waiting when I’m done’

Love Forty Down – Frank Turner

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Jules.” Rosemary Mathews chewed her bottom lip, her eyes locking on the woman standing beside her. She studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked well…beautiful, and it had been far too long since she’d felt that way. Her dark hair piled effortlessly on top of her head; a style that had taken nearly 45 minutes to successfully obtain mind you. The green dress hugged her generous curves in all the right ways and fell neatly past her knees. The make-up Jules had helped her apply was tasteful but sultry. She felt like a completely new woman. And it honestly made her more than slightly uneasy.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to put herself out there. She needed to, after all it had been nearly six months since…that. It had been more than enough time. And Bryan was a wonderful man, truly. He taught history at University College London and was deeply passionate about learning. He was intelligent and well read. He was kind and patient and he made her laugh. This was a good thing. But why did she feel so fucking uneasy?

Jules rolled her green eyes, shoving Rosemary lightly. “This is a good thing,” she insisted. “Bryan is a great guy and you get along famously. Don’t over think this.” She gently rubbed Rosemary’s shoulder. “Please, honey, you need this.”

Rosemary offered a tentative smile, “I know. I know. It’s just…I’m not sure. I like Bryan. Really I do. I just can’t stop think maybe I’m just not ready. But I want to be ready. I just… What’s wrong with me?” She felt completely and utterly ridiculous and, honestly, more than a little foolish. It was just dinner, and dinner with a good man at that. She liked him, more than she expected to. But still…

“Nothing, sweetie,” Jules assured, “Nothing is wrong with you…” She paused, a devious smile spread across her features, “Well not too much anyway, you’ve always been a tad…neurotic…” She laughed heartily as Rosemary shoved her.

“Funny.”

“Yes, I like to think I am.” Jules continued to grin. “But in all seriousness, I get it. Really, I do. But this is a good thing. You need to put yourself back out there. After everything with him,” she spoke that word with more than a tinge of bitterness, “you should let someone show you how amazing you really are.”

Rosemary appreciated her friend’s support and tenacity, she really did, but sometimes Jules was a bit…much. She pushed hard and fast, often times running ram-shod over what Rosemary wanted. And it had only gotten worse since the rumors had begun to creep in.

Nothing solid, nothing concrete, just whispers about him and a costar. How close they seemed, how they seemed to be spotted together on an almost regular basis outside of shooting; cafes, bookshops, museums, the park. The pictures had been the worst; nothing obscene or even remotely damning, but there had been a closeness between the two that was hard to miss. An intimacy. And it had hurt far more that Rosemary had been able to fully process. Shortly after Jules had become ferocious in her support and encouragement of Rosemary dating again or at least in pushing her to consider the possibility of it. After all, she had pointed out, he certainly was.

Rosemary rubbed the bridge of her nose, feeling uneasy and uncertain and hating herself for it. She sighed. She needed to stop second guessing herself. “I’m being silly.”

Jules laughed and gave her a warm smile, “Yeah, just a bit. But I get it. And you do look wonderful. Just go out, have a good time.”

Rosemary nodded, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. This was a good thing and she was excited. And scared, more scared than she wanted to admit even to herself. But she needed to do this for her sake. She needed to push herself lest the fear of never doing so would overwhelm her. She could do this. She would do this.

When the knock sounded on her door half an hour later, Rosemary could feel her unease bubbling away frantically in her stomach. Get a fucking grip, Mathews, she swore at herself as she pulled open the door.

Bryan stood, smiling, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. He was a tall man, warm honeyed eyes and carelessly rustled light brown hair. He was handsome in an unassuming way; none of the striking features that were so classically considered such. His nose was slightly crooked, broken at least once from football in his youth. His smile was wide, warm, and genuine. His eyes bright and inviting.

“You look stunning,” he whispered as he handed her the flowers, his fingers brushing gently against hers.

She blushed, returning his warm smile. “Thank you. You clean up rather nice yourself.”

They both stared at each other awkwardly for several moments before he spoke, offering Rosemary his arm. “Shall we?” She nodded, taking his proffered hand and locking the door behind her.

The restaurant was nice. Nothing too fancy, but certainly on the higher end of reasonably priced. The walls were a bright white with serene landscapes placed at tasteful intervals. The menu was vast, but not ridiculously so. And the man sitting across from her was…wonderful. He was attentive and polite. He held the door for her and pulled out her chair. He was warm but she could still sense the undercurrent of nervousness in him, which she found overwhelmingly comforting. It was nice knowing she wasn’t the only one.

She found herself laughing and smiling genuinely as the evening progressed. And slowly she could feel the guard she had kept wrapped so tightly about her as of late slip. They drank wine, shared bites of their respective meals and they talked. They talked about London, about books, about history, about movies, and about themselves.

It was surprisingly easy, talking to him; far easier than she had thought it would be. It wasn’t the same as…She didn’t let herself finish the thought. But it was nice, regardless. Simple. Easy.  

She had made sure he had known going in that she had recently gotten out of a relationship, though she had been tight lipped about any of the details; made sure he was aware that she wasn’t looking for anything, not really, and certainly not yet. He was a good person and she didn’t want him to expect anything more than face value from her.

He’d been understanding; never pushed her for more. They had spent the first few weeks just talking and it had been nice, though she had to force herself from comparing what was happening now from what they had been; from the conversations to the cautiously formed friendship. There were such similarities, yes, but in the end they were two very different men.

Tom, even now thinking the name hurt, had been so guarded, so closed off despite the openness he seemed to project. There was sincerity there, she knew that, had never doubted it, but there had always been a part of him that he kept closely guarded, a part of him he never let her see. Bryan, in contrast, was an open book. She knew without question that when he spoke, what he said, it was in complete, honest sincerity. So when Bryan had asked her to dinner she’d felt herself say ‘yes’ before she’d consciously thought about what that answer would mean.

She found herself smiling at him over her wine glass, happy to be exactly where she was. This man, this evening, was wonderful. It was something she had desperately needed.

“Thank you, Bryan. This has been…I…I’m very glad I said yes.” She tripped over her words, feeling slightly self-conscious in her confession. It was silly, honestly. But she wanted to make sure he knew; that he understood.

“I am too.”

The kiss was simple, gentle. It didn’t make her toes curl or her breath come short; she hadn’t thought that it would. But it was amazing all the same; the comfort and the surety that she felt with him. He was warm and safe; for now that was enough.

He left her at her door with a promise to call her the next day.

And he had. Rosemary was pleased to discover that the conversation flowed just as easy as it had the night before. There had been no awkwardness, no second guessing. They talked for hours. And they kept on talking. As the days passed they found themselves meeting for lunches, going out to dinners, lazing around in the park. Everything was blessedly simple.

Jules had been ecstatic and had no bones about voicing her support. She pressed for details of their dates, offered advice and encouragement. She had even begun to push Rosemary into letting her pick up shifts which then allowed her to spend more time with Bryan in between his lectures, office hours, and faculty meetings. Slowly they began to spend more and more time together. And it was wonderful.

Rosemary had been overjoyed when Bryan had introduced her to colleagues and friends as his girlfriend. She knew it was silly, being excited over such a frivolous title. But it proved that she had a place in his life and he in hers. She refused to let herself think about just why that mattered so much to her.

The next few months were nothing short of wonderful. She felt cared for and respected. They seemed to click in a way she hadn’t been sure she would ever feel again. It wasn’t quite the same, but it was enough.

Friday evenings had slowly become a staple date night. They went to a movie or, if something caught their attention, a play and then dinner at the pub halfway between their respective homes. It was nice, predicable, and comforting, the routine she found herself in.

And this particular Friday was shaping up to be the same. They’d seen a film, one of the new romantic comedies. It had been lighthearted and enjoyable. And they chatted animatedly about it on the walk to the pub.

The pub was crowded, which hadn’t come as much of a surprise. It was a Friday night after all. But they had found a table easily enough. Bryan kissed her cheek as he headed to the bar to place their respective orders.

Rosemary smiled as she hummed along with the music filtering through the noise of the pub. It was song she recognized but couldn’t name. As she sat she watched the people milling about her. She had always loved to people watch, it was amazing the things people did when they didn’t realize someone was watching.

“Here you go, my dear.” She turned back to watch Bryan settle the pint of cinder in front of her. She nodded her thanks and took a sip.

He settled into the seat across from her and they began to chat about their respective days. His lectures had gone well over all, only one or two students nodding off in the back row. None of his meetings had run over and the three students who had shown for his office hours had been easily aided with the issues they’d brought him. Her shift at the shop had gone well. All of her orders had arrived on time and complete. Stories Untold was making a steady profit and she’d been able to take on another part-timer, a university student who seemed to get on well with everyone.

They had passed many evenings like this; whether in a pub or either of their respective homes. It was comforting and comfortable. He fit neatly into her life and she in his. Their mains arrived, breaking the conversation momentarily. They soon settled themselves once more, eating and talking.

The weather had taken a turn while they had eaten and Rosemary found herself shivering as she stepped out onto the pavements. She realized with a start that she’d left her cardigan on the back of her chair.  She vocalized such and turned quickly back towards the doors. Bryan placed a hand on her arm, stopping her.

“I’ll grab it.” He then wordlessly pulled off the jacket he’d been wearing and settled it securely on her shoulders. She smiled up at him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He smiled in return and ducked back into the pub.

Rosemary paced idly back and forth near the pub’s entrance. She hadn’t paid any attention to her surroundings and was therefore surprised when she found herself colliding with a solid, warm object. Startled, she threw her arms up and onto the object, to catch her balance.  The object was in fact a person, she belatedly realized.

“I’m so sorry,” she blurted, hoping she hadn’t provoked some stranger’s ire.

“Rosie?”

She felt her breath freeze in her throat. No. Please god no. She knew that voice. Knew it all too well. Of all the fucking people in this city!

“Tom.” She allowed her gaze to travel to his face. He looked…Good. Really fucking good. His hair was a touch longer and his beard had been trimmed recently. His eyes were the same though. Blue-green and piercing.

They stood standing awkwardly. She didn’t know what to say. How the fuck were you supposed to act when you ran smack into your…former lover? Fling? Friend with benefits? Fuck buddy? God, she still didn’t know what they had been.

He broke first, “You look beautiful.”

She blinked at him. “Thanks,” she forced herself to reply. “You look well.”

“Found it!” Bryan’s triumphant voice sliced through the silence that had fallen and she jumped back from Tom involuntarily. She caught the flutter of…something in Tom’s eyes. But it was gone faster than she could place it.

She forced herself to smile at her boyfriend as she slid off his jacket and traded it for her chunky black knit jumper. She could feel Tom’s eyes on her. This wasn’t happening. Please let this not be happening.

Steeling herself, Rosemary turned back to Tom. “Sorry again.”

Tom swallowed audibly and shot her a beatific smile. “Think nothing of it.”

She nodded at him and linked her arm solidly in Bryan’s. “We won’t keep you. Have a nice night.”

Tom nodded wordlessly and made his way into the pub. She felt Bryan’s eyes on her.

“What just happened?”

Rosemary forced herself to keep her voice calm and unaffected. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and nearly knocked him over. Think I scared both of us with that one.”

Bryan did not look entirely convinced but didn’t press her further. He took a deep breath and kissed her lightly on the head. “Home?”

She nodded. Home sounded like a great idea. She needed to regain her balance. Seeing Tom. Touching him. It had thrown her. She had always known that running into him was a possibility. Living in the same city made such things simply a matter of time. She needed time to pick apart the ache in her chest and the thoughts that raced in her mind. She had hoped that moving on would have made such an encounter easier. She was with someone else now and so was he. It was always going to be awkward but it should have been easier. Shouldn’t it?

Rosemary honestly didn’t know.

Next

[intheyear39]

The Unexpected Visitor (Brian May x Reader)

Genre: General / Fluff

Length: 886 words

Summary: You are sick, so Brian decides to drop by for a visit.

Author’s Note: I originally wrote this for @39-volunteers-to-space, because she was sick (I hope you’re all better!) and needed a good read. I’m now posting it as a Y/N reader type fic. It was supposed to be a drabble but it didn’t work that way, so y'all get a ficlet. :D Any and all comments are welcome!

It’s twelve noon and you haven’t gotten up yet. You haven’t been feeling well—so unwell in fact that you haven’t left the house at all for two days now.

Worse, you got left alone, because it’s already the weekend. Everyone in your household decided to have fun and leave without you, although your mom promised they’d be home before dinner. No matter how much that sucks, however, you know you can’t blame them; it’s not like you scheduled your sickness during the weekend.

You lie there in your bed, musing, and then, a knock. You aren’t expecting any visitors today, and even if you did, they would’ve at least called you.

For the first time in days, you get up and oh, everything hurts, and you walk out of your room towards the front door. A second knock comes, this time a little more insistent.

“Hang on!” your voice cracks. You haven’t talked much in this period either. “Mum’s not home!”

“Err, hello? Is Y/N there?”

You stop shortly before you open the door. You know that voice. That familiar cadence which reminds you of both intelligence and kindness. You’ll recognise that anywhere.

“B-Brian, is that you?”

It’s Brian May, from your university. You met him when you took physics together (and you kept asking him for lessons because science is hard), but since then you’ve become classmates in other courses too. You two got close, undoubtedly, but not enough to have surprise visits like this.

“You’d know if you opened the door,” he says cheekily.

“Right,” you murmur to yourself as you open the door at last.

“Finally,” he says, smiling. He is wearing a dark blue jacket on top of a white shirt, an ensemble he usually doesn’t wear, and has books with him. “How are you doing? I heard that you were sick, and that was why you weren’t in our classes yesterday.”

It suddenly comes to your attention that you don’t look your best—not that it’s your fault—but you’ve always liked Brian and honestly, this is a bit embarrassing, seeing him look at you in your pyjamas with no makeup.

And yet, he is still smiling. Like he is actually glad to see you.

“Erm, yeah, I’ve been sick since Thursday night,” your head bows down. “S-so you’re visiting?”

“Yeah, well erm,” he gestures to his left, “I’ve a band practice later tonight in a local pub, and your house is on the way, so I thought I’d drop by.” He shakes his head, his eyes blinking faster, his little curls bouncing around. You smile automatically at how adorable it all looks.

Oh yeah, he has a band, you suddenly remember. Brian has mentioned it quite a bit, and that he and his dad built the guitar he is using, but he never really tells you anything else, which is a shame because you’d love to see him talk about it, more so actually see him play.

“T-that’s so sweet, thank you.” Then you realise you’re just keeping him waiting outside. “Oh, apologies, please, come on in.”

“Thank you,” he states in the politest way. You just know your mom would love him. (Hang on, you’re thinking that far ahead?) “Oh, and also, I brought you assignments from our classes.”

So that’s what the books are for. “I missed a lot, didn’t I?”

“Not much,” he sets them down your coffee table in the living room. “I just brought extra references in case you need more. I doubt you can go in the library in your condition.”

The funny thing about Brian is, even though he talks a little too factually sometimes, the sincerity still peeks through. You can feel that he cares enough to think about your situation.

“Are you famished?”

You forget that you didn’t necessarily say anything in response to his earlier sweet remark. You shrug, “I haven’t eaten breakfast if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Good,” he walks past you and to your kitchen. He hasn’t been in your house yet but somehow, he knows where it is. “I’ll cook you chicken soup or something.”

He said what?

“You said what?”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry,” he shouts from the kitchen. “My mum taught me how to cook. Just settle down and wait.”

You ran to the kitchen anyway. “Bri, you don’t have to do this.”

He already has the apron on him in that short span of time. “I know I don’t, but I want to.”

You suddenly feel warm for the first time in two days. Brian Harold May can pass up as a cure, you tell yourself. “Thank you, Bri.”

“You’re welcome.” He looks at you and smiles, showing his weirdly cute set of teeth.

For the rest of his time cooking, he chats you up about his band called Smile, and how he and his friend Tim finally found a drummer, a blond-haired boy named Roger. Brian thinks he’s pretty good, considering he had to audition using just congas. You then tell him you want to see his band play some other time.

“Sure,” he answers. “How about we go together next week?”

“Really?”

“You heard me.”

As if you would hesitate. “O-of course, so pray that I’ll get better soon.”

“With this chicken soup, I am absolutely positive you will.”

END.

Taglist: @39-volunteers-to-space @theoddowldoodle @sneakydeakyy @grooveei @moonvinyls @cosmicsskies

[cupcakegnome]

Character tag - Narya Lavellan

I was tagged by @midnightdevotions  and @thewynd  thank you so much♥

Rules: bold traits that apply always. italicize occasional or situational traits.

aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | cannibal | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | delusional | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | murderer | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | over-bearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | serial killer | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful

adaptable | adventurous | affectionate | ambitious | artistic | athletic | assertive | beautiful |brave | charming | clever | compassionate | confident | considerate | cooperative | courteous | creative | curious | decisive | dependable | determined | diplomatic | easy-going | enthusiastic |fair | fashionable | forgiving | friendly | fun-loving | funny | generous | gentle | hard-working |heroic | honest | hopeful | humble | imaginative | incorruptible | intelligent | intuitive | inventive | jocular | leader | lively | loving | loyal | merciful | musical | observant | open-minded | optimistic | organized | outgoing | passionate | patient | playful | polite | popular | practical | resourceful | self-assured | selfless | sensible | sincere | strong | studious | thoughtful | tough | versatile | warm-hearted | well-intentioned | wise | witty I

so there was a lot of positive things since she is just sweet and kind. 

[honeylikewords]

I would take any hcs really, I just want more Mr. Mccarthy. Whatever you wanna write, totally open ended.

Well, then, here are a couple random ones off the top of my head!

1. Eddie has an intense allergy to bananas.

2. Eddie doesn’t like movie sequels in general. He also doesn’t like book sequels. He thinks all works of art should be able to stand alone on their own merits and that if they require an “extended universe” to be digestible, they’re probably not very good.

3. Eddie is a big fan of public transportation and frequently takes buses around town to explore. He’s, however, not a big fan of people who get into fights on buses or get rowdy on buses or whatever. Not fun.

4. Eddie goes jogging on weekends and has a mix of running music that’s the most weird, jumbled audio experience on earth for anyone other than him. It vacillates between playing things like 80s pop to swing music to shamisen music to warped audio clips of Ronald Reagan speeches that make him so mad he runs faster than is probably healthy for him. It’s odd. 

5. Eddie collects Revolutionary war and Civil war memorabilia, whether that’s prop recreations or actual artifacts. His house is a little hard to navigate because it’s a cluttered maze of brass and bronze and antique chairs no one’s allowed to sit in. He has a dearth of objects that he loves showing off at dinner parties, and his favorite to whip out are his presidential election buttons/pins. They’re his most complete collection, and his favorite.

6. Eddie saw Hozier in concert at a graveyard. He was changed.

7. It’s nearly impossible to watch historical dramas or period films at all with Eddie because he gets really nitpicky about things, ranging from speech patterns to accents to costume choices. His number one pet peeve, though? Period actors or actresses wearing makeup. He thinks filmmakers shouldn’t enforce false standards of beauty by disguising what people really look like, much less enforcing modern obsessive standards of beauty onto history. 

“She’s a pioneer woman!,” he yells at the screen. “SHE DOESN’T NEED CONCEALER! OR BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK! SHE NEEDS TO NOT CONTRACT DYSENTERY!”

8. Eddie sometimes swears in front of his students because he gets too into what he’s saying and then has to deal with the juvenile “OOOOH” that rises from the classroom. He once accidentally said that Richard M. Nixon “fucked up” re: Watergate and the whole class went insane.

9. Eddie can play the concertina, and he’s good at it, but sometimes it can be a bit much to see him walking around the house in his “I SURVIVED THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE” t-shirt he bought at one of his historic recreation events and his boxers whilst playing the concertina. It’s too much.

10. His favorite Sunday activity is dancing around the kitchen to “Dancin’ In The Moonlight” while making omelets to eat while watching some obscure documentary. While Werner Herzog isn’t technically ‘obscure’, he likes to watch those films he makes. Oh, and he loves watching stop motion, so sometimes he puts on a DVD of Aardman’s Greatest Works and sits back to revel in the weirdness. 

11. Eddie does pottery and has a shed in the backyard where he throws his own teapots and dishware.

12. Eddie gets really uncomfortable when students get crushes on him, and there have been a couple times. He’s young, handsome, and excitable, all while being approachable and friendly and intelligent, so there have been a few cases where students catch a case of the crushies for him. It makes him feel really gross and he does his best to dissuade and discourage any of that behavior. There’s just no way in hell that he’s going to allow any kind of funny business, nor for anyone to interpret his being a friendly guy as him being flirty. 

13. Eddie has a strong stomach and can eat some truly weird, unpalatable things. Or, well, they’d seem unpalatable to most people, but he seems to genuinely enjoy eating them. He tries to apply cultural relativism to his cuisine, too, so he’s open to eating a lot of new things. The only hard ‘no’s he puts down are if he’s allergic to the contents of the food (or if they could just genuinely be toxic to him) and if they cross the line of what he’s morally okay eating; he does sometimes still have periods where he eats kosher, usually during important festivals or holidays, so sometimes he’ll decline a dish based on that.

14. Eddie can’t stand nosy people. Despite being so open and friendly, he’s also quite private. There are just some things he doesn’t enjoy talking about with people who aren’t his actual, close friends, and so, sometimes, if someone is prying a little too deeply at him, his usual cordial, jovial manner will dissolve and he’ll get a bit crabby and snappy with them. He likes to have the option of privacy and whether or not he wants to share; having that taken away at all makes him very, very annoyed.

15. Eddie may look like a hipster, but he is the furthest thing from it. He’s wonderfully genuine and sincere and finds “irony” embarrassing. He thinks there’s nothing more noble than being genuinely and healthily happy, so he encourages people to chase their joy. He doesn’t pass himself off as some Holier Than Thou vegan or Woke King(TM) but just tries to be as honest and earnest and unaffected as possible. He has niche interests, yeah, but just because he’s a kinda quirky guy, not because he’s trying to be cooler than anyone else. 

And there’s some more Eddie content!

(@regrettablewritings because all Eddie content is, in some way or another, for you!)

[season2ep3]

the other side of paradise- glass animals

[winterisakiller]

Love Forty Down

One Shot: Last Minutes and Lost Evenings 5/16                                           

Character/Relationship: Tom Hiddleston/ Rosemary Mathews (OFC)  

Genre: Romance/Angst                                                                  

Summary: The first step is always the hardest.                                   

Rating: PG                                                                                                   

Warnings/Authors Notes:  This is the fifth part of Last Minutes and Lost Evenings, this series is currently on-going and will flit back and forth between past, present and future.This piece started out with a much different direction but Rosemary had other ideas and so here we are. There is still much more to come with Tom and Rosie. 

Previous

‘I’m love-forty down

As the day slips away from me

I have to say that, honestly,

I still haven’t found

 The person who can take the strain

Of deuce, advantage, back again.

 So I’ll do this on my own;

There’s no one waiting when I’m done’

 Love Forty Down – Frank Turner

  “I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Jules.” Rosemary Mathews chewed her bottom lip, her eyes locking on the woman standing beside her. She studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked well…beautiful, and it had been far too long since she’d felt that way. Her dark hair piled effortlessly on top of her head; a style that had taken nearly 45 minutes to successfully obtain mind you. The green dress hugged her generous curves in all the right ways and fell neatly past her knees. The make-up Jules had helped her apply was tasteful but sultry. She felt like a completely new woman. And it honestly made her more than slightly uneasy.

 It wasn’t that she didn’t want to put herself out there. She needed to, after all it had been nearly six months since…that. It had been more than enough time. And Bryan was a wonderful man, truly. He taught history at University College London and was deeply passionate about learning. He was intelligent and well read. He was kind and patient and he made her laugh. This was a good thing. But why did she feel so fucking uneasy?

 Jules rolled her green eyes, shoving Rosemary lightly. “This is a good thing,” she insisted. “Bryan is a great guy and you get along famously. Don’t over think this.” She gently rubbed Rosemary’s shoulder. “Please, honey, you need this.”

 Rosemary offered a tentative smile, “I know. I know. It’s just…I’m not sure. I like Bryan. Really I do. I just can’t stop think maybe I’m just not ready. But I want to be ready. I just… What’s wrong with me?” She felt completely and utterly ridiculous and, honestly, more than a little foolish. It was just dinner, and dinner with a good man at that. She liked him, more than she expected to. But still…

 “Nothing, sweetie,” Jules assured, “Nothing is wrong with you…” She paused, a devious smile spread across her features, “Well not too much anyway, you’ve always been a tad…neurotic…” She laughed heartily as Rosemary shoved her.

 “Funny.”

 “Yes, I like to think I am.” Jules continued to grin. “But in all seriousness, I get it. Really, I do. But this is a good thing. You need to put yourself back out there. After everything with him,” she spoke that word with more than a tinge of bitterness, “you should let someone show you how amazing you really are.”

 Rosemary appreciated her friend’s support and tenacity, she really did, but sometimes Jules was a bit…much. She pushed hard and fast, often times running ram-shod over what Rosemary wanted. And it had only gotten worse since the rumors had begun to creep in.

 Nothing solid, nothing concrete, just whispers about him and a costar. How close they seemed, how they seemed to be spotted together on an almost regular basis outside of shooting; cafes, bookshops, museums, the park. The pictures had been the worst; nothing obscene or even remotely damning, but there had been a closeness between the two that was hard to miss. An intimacy. And it had hurt far more that Rosemary had been able to fully process. Shortly after Jules had become ferocious in her support and encouragement of Rosemary dating again or at least in pushing her to consider the possibility of it. After all, she had pointed out, he certainly was.

 Rosemary rubbed the bridge of her nose, feeling uneasy and uncertain and hating herself for it. She sighed. She needed to stop second guessing herself. “I’m being silly.”

 Jules laughed and gave her a warm smile, “Yeah, just a bit. But I get it. And you do look wonderful. Just go out, have a good time.”

 Rosemary nodded, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. This was a good thing and she was excited. And scared, more scared than she wanted to admit even to herself. But she needed to do this for her sake. She needed to push herself lest the fear of never doing so would overwhelm her. She could do this. She would do this.

 When the knock sounded on her door half an hour later, Rosemary could feel her unease bubbling away frantically in her stomach. Get a fucking grip, Mathews, she swore at herself as she pulled open the door.

 Bryan stood, smiling, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. He was a tall man, warm honeyed eyes and carelessly rustled light brown hair. He was handsome in an unassuming way; none of the striking features that were so classically considered such. His nose was slightly crooked, broken at least once from football in his youth. His smile was wide, warm, and genuine. His eyes bright and inviting.

 “You look stunning,” he whispered as he handed her the flowers, his fingers brushing gently against hers.

 She blushed, returning his warm smile. “Thank you. You clean up rather nice yourself.”

 They both stared at each other awkwardly for several moments before he spoke, offering Rosemary his arm. “Shall we?” She nodded, taking his proffered hand and locking the door behind her.

 The restaurant was nice. Nothing too fancy, but certainly on the higher end of reasonably priced. The walls were a bright white with serene landscapes placed at tasteful intervals. The menu was vast, but not ridiculously so. And the man sitting across from her was…wonderful. He was attentive and polite. He held the door for her and pulled out her chair. He was warm but she could still sense the undercurrent of nervousness in him, which she found overwhelmingly comforting. It was nice knowing she wasn’t the only one.

 She found herself laughing and smiling genuinely as the evening progressed. And slowly she could feel the guard she had kept wrapped so tightly about her as of late slip. They drank wine, shared bites of their respective meals and they talked. They talked about London, about books, about history, about movies, and about themselves.

 It was surprisingly easy, talking to him; far easier than she had thought it would be. It wasn’t the same as…She didn’t let herself finish the thought. But it was nice, regardless. Simple. Easy.  

 She had made sure he had known going in that she had recently gotten out of a relationship, though she had been tight lipped about any of the details; made sure he was aware that she wasn’t looking for anything, not really, and certainly not yet. He was a good person and she didn’t want him to expect anything more than face value from her.

 He’d been understanding; never pushed her for more. They had spent the first few weeks just talking and it had been nice, though she had to force herself from comparing what was happening now from what they had been; from the conversations to the cautiously formed friendship. There were such similarities, yes, but in the end they were two very different men.

 Tom, even now thinking the name hurt, had been so guarded, so closed off despite the openness he seemed to project. There was sincerity there, she knew that, had never doubted it, but there had always been a part of him that he kept closely guarded, a part of him he never let her see. Bryan, in contrast, was an open book. She knew without question that when he spoke, what he said, it was in complete, honest sincerity. So when Bryan had asked her to dinner she’d felt herself say ‘yes’ before she’d consciously thought about what that answer would mean.

 She found herself smiling at him over her wine glass, happy to be exactly where she was. This man, this evening, was wonderful. It was something she had desperately needed.

 “Thank you, Bryan. This has been…I…I’m very glad I said yes.” She tripped over her words, feeling slightly self-conscious in her confession. It was silly, honestly. But she wanted to make sure he knew; that he understood.

 “I am too.”

 The kiss was simple, gentle. It didn’t make her toes curl or her breath come short; she hadn’t thought that it would. But it was amazing all the same; the comfort and the surety that she felt with him. He was warm and safe; for now that was enough.

 He left her at her door with a promise to call her the next day.

 And he had. Rosemary was pleased to discover that the conversation flowed just as easy as it had the night before. There had been no awkwardness, no second guessing. They talked for hours. And they kept on talking. As the days passed they found themselves meeting for lunches, going out to dinners, lazing around in the park. Everything was blessedly simple.

 Jules had been ecstatic and had no bones about voicing her support. She pressed for details of their dates, offered advice and encouragement. She had even begun to push Rosemary into letting her pick up shifts which then allowed her to spend more time with Bryan in between his lectures, office hours, and faculty meetings. Slowly they began to spend more and more time together. And it was wonderful.

 Rosemary had been overjoyed when Bryan had introduced her to colleagues and friends as his girlfriend. She knew it was silly, being excited over such a frivolous title. But it proved that she had a place in his life and he in hers. She refused to let herself think about just why that mattered so much to her.

 The next few months were nothing short of wonderful. She felt cared for and respected. They seemed to click in a way she hadn’t been sure she would ever feel again. It wasn’t quite the same, but it was enough.

 Friday evenings had slowly become a staple date night. They went to a movie or, if something caught their attention, a play and then dinner at the pub halfway between their respective homes. It was nice, predicable, and comforting, the routine she found herself in.

 And this particular Friday was shaping up to be the same. They’d seen a film, one of the new romantic comedies. It had been lighthearted and enjoyable. And they chatted animatedly about it on the walk to the pub.

 The pub was crowded, which hadn’t come as much of a surprise. It was a Friday night after all. But they had found a table easily enough. Bryan kissed her cheek as he headed to the bar to place their respective orders.

 Rosemary smiled as she hummed along with the music filtering through the noise of the pub. It was song she recognized but couldn’t name. As she sat she watched the people milling about her. She had always loved to people watch, it was amazing the things people did when they didn’t realize someone was watching.

 “Here you go, my dear.” She turned back to watch Bryan settle the pint of cinder in front of her. She nodded her thanks and took a sip.

 He settled into the seat across from her and they began to chat about their respective days. His lectures had gone well over all, only one or two students nodding off in the back row. None of his meetings had run over and the three students who had shown for his office hours had been easily aided with the issues they’d brought him. Her shift at the shop had gone well. All of her orders had arrived on time and complete. Stories Untold was making a steady profit and she’d been able to take on another part-timer, a university student who seemed to get on well with everyone.

 They had passed many evenings like this; whether in a pub or either of their respective homes. It was comforting and comfortable. He fit neatly into her life and she in his. Their mains arrived, breaking the conversation momentarily. They soon settled themselves once more, eating and talking.

 The weather had taken a turn while they had eaten and Rosemary found herself shivering as she stepped out onto the pavements. She realized with a start that she’d left her cardigan on the back of her chair.  She vocalized such and turned quickly back towards the doors. Bryan placed a hand on her arm, stopping her.

 “I’ll grab it.” He then wordlessly pulled off the jacket he’d been wearing and settled it securely on her shoulders. She smiled up at him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He smiled in return and ducked back into the pub.

 Rosemary paced idly back and forth near the pub’s entrance. She hadn’t paid any attention to her surroundings and was therefore surprised when she found herself colliding with a solid, warm object. Startled, she threw her arms up and onto the object, to catch her balance.  The object was in fact a person, she belatedly realized.

 “I’m so sorry,” she blurted, hoping she hadn’t provoked some stranger’s ire.

 “Rosie?”

 She felt her breath freeze in her throat. No. Please god no. She knew that voice. Knew it all too well. Of all the fucking people in this city!

 “Tom.” She allowed her gaze to travel to his face. He looked…Good. Really fucking good. His hair was a touch longer and his beard had been trimmed recently. His eyes were the same though. Blue-green and piercing.

 They stood standing awkwardly. She didn’t know what to say. How the fuck were you supposed to act when you ran smack into your…former lover? Fling? Friend with benefits? Fuck buddy? God, she still didn’t know what they had been.

 He broke first, “You look beautiful.”

 She blinked at him. “Thanks,” she forced herself to reply. “You look well.”

 “Found it!” Bryan’s triumphant voice sliced through the silence that had fallen and she jumped back from Tom involuntarily. She caught the flutter of…something in Tom’s eyes. But it was gone faster than she could place it.

 She forced herself to smile at her boyfriend as she slid off his jacket and traded it for her chunky black knit jumper. She could feel Tom’s eyes on her. This wasn’t happening. Please let this not be happening.

 Steeling herself, Rosemary turned back to Tom. “Sorry again.”

 Tom swallowed audibly and shot her a beatific smile. “Think nothing of it.”

 She nodded at him and linked her arm solidly in Bryan’s. “We won’t keep you. Have a nice night.”

 Tom nodded wordlessly and made his way into the pub. She felt Bryan’s eyes on her.

 “What just happened?”

 Rosemary forced herself to keep her voice calm and unaffected. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and nearly knocked him over. Think I scared both of us with that one.”

 Bryan did not look entirely convinced but didn’t press her further. He took a deep breath and kissed her lightly on the head. “Home?”

 She nodded. Home sounded like a great idea. She needed to regain her balance. Seeing Tom. Touching him. It had thrown her. She had always known that running into him was a possibility. Living in the same city made such things simply a matter of time. She needed time to pick apart the ache in her chest and the thoughts that raced in her mind. She had hoped that moving on would have made such an encounter easier. She was with someone else now and so was he. It was always going to be awkward but it should have been easier. Shouldn’t it?

 Rosemary honestly didn’t know.

Next