before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
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S.T.A.Y.
Written by hakunahistata with incendiary art by the talented @cassieoh. Written for High Pollen Count, a Good Omens Sex Pollen Event!
Explicit, 14.6K, 2/2 chapters
When Lieutenant Crowley is caught in a dust storm on an unmarked planet during an exploratory mission, nothing seems amiss. It isn’t until he returns onboard the spacecraft, Astra Sequi, that it becomes clear that something is very, very wrong.
Or, Sex Pollen in SPACE 🌌🚀
Have a taste...
Gasps of pleasure fill the small room where Aziraphale sits, the mic picking up every rustle of fabric, the slick slide of skin. A precious whine ripples around him, bringing into focus a reality that Aziraphale has only dreamt of.
He shatters under the weight of knowing what pleasure sounds like in Crowley’s mouth.
READ MORE ON AO3
I cannot thank @gaiaseyes451 and @the-literal-kj enough for being the best beta's and friends 🖤
Enormous shout out to @voluptatiscausa, @malachitegrey, and @adverbian for organizing the High Pollen Count event and creating such a fun, silly, ho®ny corner of the internet!
Tagging my forever family too @goodomensafterdark
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I'm just thinking aloud here but discussions about dean's celibacy in later seasons make me feel some type of way. it's not that i disagree (still haven't watched dabb era) it's that i think carver era kinda made people forget that after hell dean wasn't really having that much sex at all? in that he literally slept with 4 people in the span of 5 consecutive seasons. So when people bring up how chaste dean is in late spn i'm like. well this isn't really new for him, is it? 🤔
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I headcanon Honey is a bear shifter
I just think it's really cute and funny
I imagine them as someone who is pretty big, plus guy/honey are angel/david flipped or swapped or whatever,
little menace/big shifter trope
Guy being a little shit and Honey just shifts and (very gently) puts a single paw on his chest
Literally bear hugs him when they can't take the rambling
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I've been watching him for my entire life
I hate the air he breathes, his foolish decrees
His words so contrived
And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing
For untimely death or demise
Or am I just wishing I could be like you?
[That the people would see me too as a poet
And not just the muse]
Oh, it's not true, I don't wish harm upon you
May the gods strike me down if I forsake you
Frater meus, [you're beautifully made
And to you I'm forever grateful]
But why do I lie awake each night thinking
"Instead of you, it should be me"?
Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy
I, too, have a destiny
This death will be art
The people will speak of this day from near and afar
This event will be history, and I'll be great too
I don't want what you have, I want to be you
My name is Brutus, but the people will call me Rex
[Buttress - Brutus]
"[...]Enrico was the most qualified person and the leading candidate to inherit the title of Vongola Decimo before he was shot and killed[...]." [KHR wiki, list of minor characters]
have you guys ever been 13 to 16 lol. was that fucked up or what
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look everyone is entitled to their own interpretation and i am by no means saying the loumand relationship is in any way a healthy one but everyone reading that face down in the coffin scene as louis putting on his "pimp persona" and armand being unhappy about it... are we watching the same show? you think armand can't tell him no?? that man was TURNED ON and tore off those suspenders without hesitation. just like i would if louis would put on his big boy voice like that. yes maître
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