#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[runefactorynonsense]

Cozytober - Day 24 - Spiced Latte

"It's decaf."

"Hey-"

"Joking."

[starlitlakes]

WHERE DID UPSIDEDOWNWITHSTEVE GO WHY IS HER BLOG NOT SHOWING UP

[8lah8lah]

"both sides of shipcourse are wrong" says person about to not bat a fucking eye when someone on one side gets chased off the fucking internet and doxxed and told they deserve assault for liking ships that are abusive in a way they dont immediately understand/relate to. "shipping discourse is just sooo dumb and immature" says person about to fucking gasp and scream and tell all their mutuals and post "STOP putting ***** on my dash in 202_" vagues like A Gross Drawing Existing In The World is going to singlehandedly groom and traumatize and enable and Normalize everything for everyone on the planet simultaneously for simply being put out there and it being out there is a category 10000 mental safety hazard that they must bravely defend people from. "youre stupid if you care about ship discourse lmao" posts brave tumblr user about to get really upset publically over One person they saw shipping a like, 4-year age gap between two fictional chars that's there if you Squint, an opinion that Clearly has NOTHING to do with very specifically one side of the discourse

[mantisgodsdomain]

Slowly, yet painfully realizing that we're probably the exact type of person that random fandom guys would miscast as a father.

[blye-flower]

Stop!!!! Trying!!! To family coded characters with clear romantic interests!!!!!! I don’t give two rats asses about your headcanon, I don’t care that you headcanon the female character as a lesbian with comhet!! I don’t really care that you don’t like the ship and I definitely don’t care that you think they’re better as friends!! Putting that familial spin on a character who’s clearly romantically invested in another character is WEIRD!! Even trying to force your headcanon on people who clearly don’t feel the same without the canonical context is WEIRD!! That is weirdo behavior!!! You’re being a WEIRDO!!!

And before anyone gets their fingers in a twist, no I’m not saying that you can’t headcanon a female character as a lesbian with comhet even with romantic interest for a male character, I’m saying trying to push a FAMILIAL lens onto the character despite her canonically interest being romantic is weird. Y’all say y’all want healthy portrayals of female-male friendships and yet y’all push them into family relations every single time. If you don’t ship them that’s fine, but that doesn’t make them family. Damn.

[trickstarbrave]

lately my problem in life that has ruined everything else for me is the fact my shower drain is clogged. badly. ive gotten stuff to unclog it but i think the clog is just too far down there. i got things that pull the hair out which worked for my last place, but i cant seem to get any fucking hair. i did max strength draino--TWICE with boiling hot water. i went to clean it (bc ur shower gets gross when it doesnt drain and i also have to redo the caulking) and it WAS STILL DRAINING SLOW!!!! am i going to have to use this ENTIRE BOTTLE OF DRAINO???

this isnt even my hair clogging it. i brush my hair in the shower and throw the hair away so less goes down the drain. my lovely wife has dense as shit thick ass hair that has clogged it, much like the last place. and every married couple has their issues i think and lil problems and This One Is Ours I Guess. clogging up the fucking drain and then i have to be the one to clean it and try to fix it.

but since i cant shower i guess im not going shopping today. my roommates are taking new dog houdini to get fixed so theyre gonna go shopping instead.

[soliusss]

Bird camp was pretty good. I tried very hard to make friends but I think the autism scares people. Got passively aggressively bullied by a heartstopper fan for it which was incredibly funny to me. How are you, a heartstopper fan constantly making weird uncomfortable comments about gay men, the bottom of the food chain, going to bully ME for EXISTING.

[bunnyqueengrace]

Hey love your art I think it's awesome and since requests are open I was hoping you'd draw a fusion of 2 characters for me please. It's a fusion between Lois Lane from My adventures with Superman and Bill cipher from gf. Hope u do it and hope you're doing awesome.

??????????????????

Are you lost??????

Where exactly does it say I have open requests???

Where exactly does it say I have ever even taken requests???

What exactly made you think this was appropriate to send, anonymous or not?????????

[toonfinatic]

Technology is so against me today

[fabulouslygaybean]

gerard way gender rant in the tags bc this is my blog so i get to talk abt what i want and it's been on my mind for a hot minute

[haliaiii]

You know maybe I should try having more of a presence on tumblr because it might be the only social media app on my phone that doesn't make me suffer serious brain damage anytime I'm on it

[puppyeared]

surely i cant be the only one who remembers Zackaid. it cant have been a fever dream, it shan't