#shiropidge fanfic

[shidgeisnasty]

Hold Me Close

Rated PG (very mild themes of PTSD and fear of abandonment, probably the fluffiest angst/angstiest fluff you can read)

1000 words (exactly! I added some more descriptive stuff to make that count)

Takes place sometime between Greening the Cube and The Blade of Marmora (s2 ep4-ep8)

They/them pronouns for Pidge

Enjoy! (and please leave a comment if you liked it! I don’t bite!)

Stale air…the stench of hot metal and unwashed flesh…flashes of light…the distant screams…

 Shiro jolted awake, sticky with sweat. His breaths came short and hard, as if he had physically run from his nightmare into the waking world. Shaking, he swung his legs over the edge of the firm barracks mattress, planting his bare feet on the cool floor. He combed his fingers through the short scruff of hair on top of his head, tangling them in his bangs as he attempted to slow his breathing.

This was nothing new for him; his nights were often filled with fitful sleep or none at all. Just gotta calm down, he told himself, closing his eyes, Maybe get some training in before the others wake up. But before he could settle his racing heart, he heard a knock at the door.

“Shiro? Are you okay?”

Shiro’s attention snapped to the door, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Pidge?”

“I’m coming in!” Pidge announced, their voice firm but clearly concerned. The door slid open and Pidge rushed inside, pale-faced and sweating almost as much as Shiro himself.

“What happened?” they demanded, “I heard you shout. Are you hurt?”

“It’s okay, Pidge, I’m fine,” Shiro asserted, though his voice wavered, threatening to betray his delicate state, “Go back to bed. I-it’s nothing.”

Pidge frowned, quickly scanning Shiro’s rough appearance. Without a word, they turned back towards the door. Instead of leaving, however, they punched the wall panel, closing the door.

“What are you - “ Shiro began, but Pidge interrupted,

“I don’t need to know everything but you don’t have to lie to me. I thought we were friends.”

“…we are friends. I just…I don’t want you to worry about it.” Pidge crossed to the bed, in as few strides as their short legs would carry them, and roughly sat next to Shiro.

“Too late,” they spat, “I’m already worried.” Shiro sighed and hung his head, resting his forearms on his knees.

“I had a nightmare, okay?” he admitted, “I get them all the time; it’s no big deal.” Pidge’s expression softened.

“What do you mean ‘all the time’?” they asked, “Like, every night?”

“Every night that I actually sleep.” This struck a nerve with Pidge, forcing them to reevaluate their approach. Tentatively, they reached out to touch Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro refused to look at them, but did not pull away.

“Honestly, I haven’t had a full night’s rest since I left Earth,” he revealed with a hint of embarrassment, “The first time.” Pidge slid closer to him on the bed, moving their hand to the base of his neck.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t know.”

“That’s because I don’t want anyone know. What kind of leader would I be if everyone just saw an exhausted trauma survivor?”

Pidge stared off towards the floor of the small room, struggling to think of what to say. They were never good at empathy; most of the time when they thought they were being reasonable, others saw selfishness and tactlessness.

We’re all made up of the same cosmic dust…

Of course…Maybe if they related on a personal level?

“I hardly sleep myself,” they shared, “I’d rather keep busy if I can’t sleep instead of just staring at a wall. I actually was walking around when I heard you.” Shiro turned slightly to look at them from the side of his vision, curious. Heart pounding and cheeks burning, Pidge scrambled to add to their comment to make it more about Shiro, and less about them.

“S-so you know, uh, if ever you need someone to talk to o-or just hang out with at night…” Unexpectedly, Shiro laughed. He faced Pidge with a gentle smile.

“Thanks, Pidge,” he said, “It means a lot.” Pidge froze. They hated when Shiro did that stupid, handsome smile, the one that made them feel like a useless freshman talking to a gorgeous upperclassman who was clearly out of their league. They hated that Shiro was just so effortlessly attractive when they felt like a moldy bag of potato chips.

“Don’t mention it,” they replied, haltingly almost to the point of forced, pulling their hand away, “I just…want to help out.” Shiro’s expression fell.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, “Did I do something wrong?” Pidge sighed, looking away.

“No. But…”

“But what?”

“Do…do you think we’d still be friends if none of this happened? I mean, if you were never captured and we all stayed on Earth?”

The silence that followed Pidge’s question weighed heavily on both of them. Shiro’s memories of Katie Holt were vague at best: Matt’s younger sibling, Commander Holt’s rarely seen second child. In fact, there had only been one occasion before the Kerberos mission that they had spoken to each other. Shiro remembered it vividly, as it had startled him that the fourth member of the Holt family, the one he’d often forgot lived there until they came out of their room periodically for the bathroom or for food, the person he’d assumed to be shy all those years had such a strong, clear voice.

 ...

“Do me a favor, will you? Don’t kill Matt while you’re out there. That’s my job.”

“I’ll soften him up for you. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds great.”

 ...

“I…don’t know…” Shiro responded softly, “Maybe if we’d made it back safely, we could’ve…” They locked eyes, both imagining a life without Voltron, without Zarkon, a life where they could have slowly gotten to know each other, or one where they could have passed each other by completely, never knowing more than a face and a name. Overcome with the same abstract fear, they embraced one another, holding tightly to the life they currently had.

“I don’t care what could have been,” Shiro affirmed, his cheek pressed to Pidge’s hair, “I’m glad I know you now.”

“Me too,” Pidge agreed, their heart fluttering, “I wanna see where this goes.” Shiro pulled back, smiling that impossibly beautiful smile of his. Pidge stared back, eyes wide; they could hardly breathe.

“Sounds great.”

[hearmyvoiceoftreason]

standing by and waiting at your back door || chapter 6

A/N: properly juggling my major and fandom life? idk her. shoutout to @hypatheticallyspeaking​ for beta reading this puppy <3 <3

hope ya’ll enjoy! 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They had all gathered up about ten dollars each for Hunk and Lance to exchange into tokens. 

Keith and Shiro went off to use the bathroom, leaving Pidge a few quiet moments to take a good look around. 

The Clear Day Arcade was still as vibrant as she remembered, which meant one of two things: either it hadn’t been that long since she was last here, or the staff was just really good at their job of maintaining the place. 

All the games stayed pretty much the same, ranging from refrigerator-sized cubes from the 90’s to the latest version of Dance Dance Revolution to traditional, carnival-style parlor games run by bored-looking staff. 

Probably a little bit of both, Pidge snorted. 

A lot of the more vintage games were still in mint condition, if she could say so herself, and the booths that needed personnel on them had a few familiar faces behind the counter. 

She smiled. 

It was so good to be back. 

“Here you go,” Hunk’s voice came from behind her. Pidge turned to find her friend holding out a small bucket’s worth of tokens. 

“Thanks.” she looked around. “Keith and Shiro?” 

“Right here.” Shiro’s voice came from her other side. She watched as he gratefully took his share of tokens from Hunk before the fullback. 

Then she immediately turned and walked away. 

“Pidge? Pidge, where are you headed?” 

Shiro’s question was left completely ignored as she ventured deeper into Clear Day. 

There was only one place Pidge would always consider her first destination at any arcade. 

.

.

.

The single unit of Killbot Phantasm 5: the Arcade Game at Clear Day was left alone, which was strange for a Saturday night. 

But Katie knew exactly why that was the case. 

Said reason flashed on the screen after the promotional cutscene and tutorials. She took a few strides toward the console, if only to make sure.

.

.

.

PDG was still at the top of the scoreboard. 

.

.

.

Grinning and cracking her knuckles as she sat down, Pidge laid out some tokens over the dashboard and popped in enough to start a new game. 

If she was going to hold a title, she might as well defend it, right?

read the rest of the chapter here -> x

[ninja-librarian]

Wanting answers, Pidge places a phone call to Gramma Della. But what she gets is more questions than answers...

[battleshidge]

Chapter Summary: 

Shiro took a steadying breath, the fingers of his left hand curling a little in his lap. He pointedly pulled his attention across the room, noting the various stations and the robotics equipment in the lab while fighting the nerves rising in his throat.

His arm had been bothering him for too long, though, and she was right when she said that something needed to be done.

I FINALLY DID IT. 

IT’S BEEN SO LONG BUT IT’S FINALLY HERE.

[galacticlee]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pidge | Katie Holt/Shiro, Shidge - Relationship Characters: Shiro (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Matt Holt, Colleen Holt, Keith (Voltron), Sam Holt Additional Tags: SHIDGE, ShiroxPidge, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Soulmates, Soulmate AU, soulmate clock, Soulmate-Identifying Timers

When he was younger, he'd use the ticker on his wrist for what all kids did- a watch, a competition, an object to fiddle with when bored. He'd been so fascinated with the mystery, wondering who in the universe could fit so perfectly to himself. He'd painted his room the same green as the clock, collected flowers and leaves that matched with the fascinating device. As he grew, the room was painted a different color and his mother stopped putting flowers in plastic cups and into pages of books to save.

@shidgevalentinesexchange project is done, Happy Valentines Day, and happy shidge exchange!

@kalelarga It was a pleasure to write for you again! You requested both fated meetings and pre-Kerberos shidge, so here's a soulmate AU based off of the infamous soulmate clock/ticker!

[a-girl-must-have-a-new-name]

Eyes

The first time Takashi looked into her eyes he thought he was staring directly into the sun. Blinding, golden, breathtaking, and absolutely dangerous. Takashi had heard a voice in the back of his mind warning him to look away; not to stare for so long.  But Katie Holt’s eyes were captivating, shining brightly with both an intelligence and mischief that left Takashi too awestruck to look away. He would think back on her eyes later that night and many nights after going over all the changes in colors her eyes seemed to have. Yes, from the very first moment he met Katie he knew two things. He should stay away from her, and that he was already completely and hopelessly in love with her.

The first revelation was, as Takashi soon learned, an almost impossible task. Takashi would become very close to the Holt family over the years. Being one of the Garrison’s most prided pilots, as well as teammate and best friend to Matt Holt, ment he spent a great deal of time with the family.  Often being invited over to dinner. Never one to turn down an actual good meal Takashi always complied to the request ne demands that he stay or come over, stating it was Mrs. Holts cooking that brought him back so many night and not the looks Katie would send his way leaving him stunned and at times breathless.  Gradually these regular dinners morphed into staying over on weekends and eventually staying with the family during holiday breaks.  Takashi at first was hesitant almost afraid of being that close to Katie for that long a period of time, in fear of accidentally blurting out the truth to the girl and ruining not only the bond he had formed with her but also the entire family and his friendship with Matt. But Takashi, ever the people pleasing young cadet he was, would agree and honestly Takashi couldn’t be more grateful to his younger self. It was during these visits and times spent at the Holts he was able to truly see just who Katie Holt was and she was even more awe inspiring than he first thought possible. Her mind was its own galaxy. Far and away the most complexing he’d ever study and he craved whatever insight (no matter how small or insignificant she might believe it was) Katie would bestow upon him.  

In fact if given the chance without fear of repercussion Takashi could go on for hours about just how amazing Katie was, whether it be her obvious intelligence, humour, bravery, compassion, loyalty, dreams, anything really Takashi would. But the fear of rejection and subsequent hatred towards him was just to great. At least that was what he had always thought. If Takashi had used his skill sets he had mastered at the Garrison, he might have been able to make the obvious observation that almost everybody but perhaps Katie herself knew just how helplessly in love he was with the girl. He would have seen the way Mrs. Holts eyes (not unlike her daughters) would catch that same mischievous gleam Katie’s often held as she conveniently and purely on the happenstance would seat Takashi next to Katie. Or the knowing smile and accepting pat on the back from Commander Holt. Too even the obvious but no less discouraging eyerolls bestowed upon him by Matt. In Fact it was only as the two best friends were making their way up onto to launch pad, to join the rest of the Holt family before heading off into space, that Matt finally freed poor Takashi of his inner turmoil.

“Bro just ask her out already it’s getting pretty pathetic” Matt commented offhandedly as he fiddled with his space suit.  The casualness of the statement causes Takashi to almost trip before gaining composure

“Wait what?”

“Katie. You know my sister? The girl you’ve been in love with since our first year in the Garrison.  just ask her out already, Lord only knows how long both of you have been pinning over each other.” Matt says with a roll of his eyes and a smirk.

“I- I don’t- I mean- she’s not-I” Takashi stammered out in both shock and disbelief he felt his ears redden as he was sure he had never fumbled over his words this much in his entire  life.

“Look” Matt offered, mercifully cut him off “I’m not going to force you to say anything if you don’t want to. Just know I’ll support and root for the two of you, if you both want it.  And bro no offense but it’s pretty obvious that you do. And knowing Katie I know she will too.” Matt paused for a moment before continuing “-uhh just don’t tell her I said that, she would be so pissed at me for spilling her secret not so secret crush.” Matt laughed casually while throwing and arm around his best friend.

Takashi was still in shock over his friends revelation. He didn’t know if this was  real, a dream, some alternate reality, or just some kind of cruel and punishing joke. He desperately hoped it was real and after subtly shaking his head and finding he was very much awake and in the moment. Takashi couldn’t help but grin stupidly, a warm feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. Emboldened by this he asked his most burning question.

“Katie actually likes me?

“You know It actually worries me how oblivious you are. Man If the world could see just how lame you actually are when it comes to love and mushy stuff. I would totally be the one the girls all fawn over. It’s really not fair.” Matt jokes as they finally step out in front of the huge crowd awaiting their highly publicized send off.  Takashi watches as Commander Holt gives his wife a sweeping and crowd pleasing kiss as the crowd cheers on. Katie being the loudest voice in the crowd clapping and hooting along, not embarrassed in the least bit of her parent antics. Takashi can’t help but smile and wish he could do the same to Katie as well. Matt followed his gaze and shook his head.

“Man, you really do got it bad. Just be glad I know how good of a guy you really are and how much I trust and like you. Because if not, I would have found a way to get rid of you ages ago.  Matt says honestly as he waves towards the people, however his eyes stay glued on his best friend and Shiro knows it’s the truth. They both walk towards the rest of the family and Matt takes this time to jokingly tell Shiro not to hurt his baby sister or “else” before moving past his best friend to give said sister a hug goodbye and ruffle her hair before joining his dad proudly off to the side.

Takashi says his final goodbye to Mrs. Holt and then turns towards Katie expecting an easy smile and energetic wave off. Instead he was caught off guard by her eyes, once again, rendering him useless. Never before had he seen so many emotions threatening to spill out all at once. Tears staining her cheeks and she rushes him bringing her tiny arms around his waist as she gives him a final goodbye hug. And Takashi in that instant was ready to drop everything he’d worked for  just to hold onto her a bit longer. But knowing how hard not only he but his team had worked to get to this moment. Takashi gave Katie on last tight squeeze before slowly and reluctantly pulling back. However, when he looked into her eyes he knew that he would gladly go to the ends of the universe and back  just to see that look of pride in her eyes for him again. And as he walked away, he knew Matt would never have to worry about him hurting Katie.(He would die before ever letting that happened)  

As Takashi sat down at the controls of the ship he looked down, out into the world one last time. And like a moth drawn to the flame he automatically found Katie’s eyes. Eyes that were somehow still bright and clear to him even at this height. It was then that he made a promise not only for himself but to Katie that when they got back from the mission he would sit her down and tell her just how captivating her eyes actually were.

[sugeyshock]

La confusión de Takashi Shirogane

No había momento en el cual Takashi Shirogane no pensara en aquellos bonitos ojos color miel, en aquella sonrisa inocente y aquel cabello enmarañado y corto. Aquellos pensamientos lo hacían sentirse confundido y totalmente aterrado. Él era un hombre serio y nunca pensaría en salir con una adolescente tan inmadura como lo era Katie Holt.

Él había salido con muchas chicas hermosas, entre ellas Allura. Y Katie Holt era todo lo opuesto a lo que siempre le había tirado Shirogane.

Shiro tenía una muy buena amistad con Matt Holt y debido a ella conocía a su pequeña hermana. Parecía una chiquilla un tanto inquieta con tendencias masculinas, ¡Pero Dios! ¿Qué importaba? Seguía siendo tan linda y tierna… A Shiro realmente no le importaba la apariencia de Katie, de alguna manera, se sentía atraído por su forma de ser. Y eso lo estaba matando.

Tomó entre su mano el vaso lleno de licor y bebió un poco.

-¿Pasaste un mal día? -indagó Keith Kogane, quien había tomado asiento al lado del musculoso hombre.

-Algo así. Difícil de explicar.

-Ya veo. Voy a tomar lo mismo que él -dijo el joven Kogane cuando el barman se acercó-. Dime que no estás así por Pidge.

-¿Quién?

Ah, sí. Shiro lo había olvidado. Los amigos de Katie solían llamarla “Pidge” debido a su comportamiento demasiado varonil. Y aunque era un “bro” más en el grupo de amigos, ellos la trataban como toda una dama.

-Katie -le recordó el de cabello negro.

-Ah… No -mintió.

-No me lo tomes a mal, amigo -dijo Keith-, pero no se te vaya a ocurrir intentar algo con Katie Holt. Sí su padre se entera…

-Si Samuel Holt se entera va a matarme.

-Y no sólo eso, Shiro, Katie aún no cumple su mayoría de edad.

Shiro rodó los ojos. Ahora entendía porqué Lance se quejaba constantemente de la legalización de las chicas de dieciséis.

-No lo haré -dijo Shiro, aunque no estuvo muy seguro de ello.

-Cómo sea, no se te ocurra.

Shiro asintió lentamente y luego el grupo apareció por las puertas anchas del local. Hunk se veía imponente y sumamente rudo, Lance parecía un buscapleitos y Katie una chica con gustos un tanto… Distintos. Y a pesar de eso, a Shiro le pareció la chica más bonito que jamás hubiese visto en su vida.

Keith soltó un suspiro.

-Hablando del rey de Roma… -murmuró el joven contra su vaso, observando las acciones de Shiro. Su amigo parecía embobado con la presencia de la castaña.

-¡Hey! -los saludó Lance- ¿Por qué no nos dijeron que estaban acá?

-Nos encontramos por casualidad aquí -dijo Keith.

-Ya veo.

-Hola, Shiro -sonrió la pequeña, acomodando sus grandes gafas después de que plantara un tierno beso en la mejilla del hombre-. Hola, Keith -hizo lo mismo con él.

-Pidge tiene un plan -dijo Hunk, sonriendo pícaramente.

-¡Oh, sí! -exclamó Lance contento- La casa de los Holt estará sola un par de días y Pidge planeaba hacer una fiesta con mujerzuelas y alcohol.

-¿Sabes que Pidge no es mayor de edad aún? -recalcó Keith- Además, dudo que Matt esté de acuerdo.

-¡Oh, no, no! -Katie alzó sus manos- Ya le preguntamos. Está totalmente de acuerdo.

Keith rodó los ojos.

-Cómo sea -dijo la chica-. Están invitados.

El trío comenzó a alejarse, y cuando estuvieron cerca de la puerta, Pidge dijo:

-¡Y lleven su alcohol!

Shiro entreabrió los labios ligeramente. Su amor por Katie no disminuía, al contrario, aumentaba con cada segundo. Su corazón parecía latir por y sólo para esa chica.

-No irás -dijo Keith, tocando su hombro.

El menor intuía que nada terminaría bien si había una fiesta en casa de los Holt.

-Oh, mierda que sí -respondió Shiro, dando un sorbo enorme de su vaso y dejándolo vacío.

[shidgeisnasty]

Don’t Let Go ch.1

Rated PG-13 (language, gender dysphoria, disturbing themes, violence in later chapters)

1,306 words

Nonbinary Pidge (they/them)

1st Person POV

Enjoy!

“The wormhole is corrupted! Something must be wrong with the teludav!”

“I think something’s wrong with my lion, too!”

“Stay together! If we can just make it through to the other side…”

“What was that?”

“The castle…no, it can’t be!”

“Hold on! Just hold on! We can make it!”

 …

The last things I remembered were blinding, cool toned lights and the screams of my friends as the wormhole collapsed around us. Then, everything went dark and silent. I don’t know how long I was unconscious for, but when I woke, I was enveloped by something soft and warm. I didn’t want to open my eyes; I was terrified that something had eaten me or that I was lying in a pool of my own blood (or both). Strangely enough, I couldn’t feel my armor, though I knew I had been wearing all of it when we went through the wormhole. Cautiously, I opened my eyes, only to have my vision obscured by my own hair. I slowly slid my hand up to push my bangs out of the way, uncertain if I was being watched, but shot up into a sitting position once I saw where I was.

Twin bed with a hand-me-down, pea green quilt…faded, ruffled curtains…posters of various scientists and lists of algorithms and equations on the walls…computer parts on every surface…This was my bedroom. On Earth.

“How the hell…” I muttered, staring at the walls I hadn’t seen in at least a year… how long had it been since we landed on Arus? How long had it been since I had joined the Garrison? This has to be some kind of hallucination, I thought, stepping out of bed, I have to figure out a way to wake myself up and get back to the others.

“Hey! Are you ready yet?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of a familiar voice outside my door.

“What?” I asked weakly. The door opened, revealing one of the few people I would risk everything for, my long missing brother, Matt. He leaned his shoulder into the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. He was wearing his Garrison uniform and an impatient expression.

“Katie, get a move on!” he complained, “You’re not even dressed yet! You really want to be late on your first day?”

My throat felt like I had swallowed glue. Matt, my brother, the one I risked imprisonment for on Earth, death for out in space, was standing here in front of me like nothing had ever happened.

“What’s going on?” I whispered, unable to move from shock.

“What’s going on is that you’re about to be late to your first day of school and Dad’s gonna get flak for it,” Matt grumbled, “Whatever, I’ll help you out. I’ll throw some poptarts in for you but you gotta be downstairs in ten minutes, alright?”

I nodded, more as a reflex than a conscious effort. Matt shut the door behind him as he left, leaving me alone again with my racing thoughts. What the hell was going on? Was this a dream? Was this a mind trick of Haggar’s? Why couldn’t I remember what happened after we left the wormhole? I realized I had been pacing and stopped to look at myself in the mirror over my dresser, a cold ball of horror and unease forming in my stomach as I took in my own appearance.

My hair was the same length it was when Matt and Dad went missing.

This can’t be happening…I can’t have imagined the whole damn thing!

“No…” I mumbled to myself, “I’ve got to find the other paladins…They can’t have forgotten me…Someone’s gotta know what happened.” As quickly as I could, I formulated a plan. I would play along with this reality, lay low until I found my friends and figured out what brought us here. I looked down at the top of the dresser to see my Garrison uniform already out, folded neatly into a square.

“Let’s do this.”

 …

Ten minutes later I had finished with my old morning routine, something I was a little rusty with, I admit, and made it downstairs to meet with Matt.

“You’re really pushing it, Katie,” he told me, tossing me two poptarts wrapped in a paper towel, “Dad’s waiting in the truck. Let’s go.” I followed him out to the driveway, the lump in my throat returning upon seeing my father, alive and well, sitting in the driver’s seat of the Garrison issued pickup. He smiled at our approach, leaning an elbow out the window.

“You kids ready for a new semester?” he asked cheerfully.

“I know I am,” Matt replied, hopping into the front passenger seat, “I think Katie’s getting cold feet.”

“You’ll do great, sweetie,” Dad encouraged me, “And if anyone gives you a hard time, you just let me know, okay? I’ll sort ‘em out.” I fought back the wave of emotion that gripped me, hearing his voice again after all this time.

“Yeah,” I responded, “Okay.” I climbed into the backseat, the too sweet peanut butter smell of the poptarts quickly filling the cab. Still, I could not bring myself to eat. Not yet.

I kept quiet most of the ride to the Garrison, racking my brain for possibilities of what could have gone wrong with the wormhole to make it project this bizarre fantasy in my mind and how it could feel so real. Occasionally, Matt or Dad wanted to ask me something, so I had to return to the hallucination to answer them the best I could.

“You okay, back there?” Dad asked, checking on me through the rearview mirror, “You keep tugging your hair.” I hadn’t realized until he pointed it out that I had indeed been pulling at my ponytail so much the scrunchie was starting to fall out. I had gotten used to short hair (and honestly preferred the ease of it).

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” I assured him, “Just thinking I might need to get a haircut soon.”

“Doesn’t look too long to me,” he commented, “Maybe just a trim.”

An all too familiar churn of my stomach reminded me how much I hated to hear that. My parents had instilled in me from a young age that if I cut my hair too short I would ‘look like a boy’. My child’s brain interpreted looking like a boy to be the worst possible outcome and, for my parents, it was. A daughter’s job is to be married off to some nice young man who will take care of her, and she can only do that if she makes herself attractive. This idea is present even in more liberal families, whether they recognize it or not. I remember the day I took the scissors to my hair as clearly as if it happened hours ago. All the internalized societal norms and imposed gender identity crushing me more and more the longer I hesitated. It was only after I held the severed hair in my hands and let it drop out of the bathroom window that I began to feel an odd sense of freedom…was I putting on a disguise or finally shedding one?

The first time I truly felt like myself was the moment my team acknowledged and accepted me, regardless of what gender I was. I knew some of them were lying about knowing all along, but the sentiment was enough. I didn’t have to hide from them, and they didn’t try to call me Katie or encourage me to be more feminine. They saw me.

In the backseat of my father’s truck, I stared darkly out the window at the Galaxy Garrison coming into view on the horizon, forcing myself to eat the now cold poptarts. I would do anything to get my team back.

[hearmyvoiceoftreason]

standing by and waiting at your back door || chapter 6 snippet

“Didn’t know they still had that here,” she mused. 

Pidge didn’t have to look at Shiro to know that he turned to what she was staring at. 

“Do you wanna go in?” he asked. 

Pidge shrugged. Not that she liked pictures in particular, but with Shiro she didn’t mind making an exception. 

The motor of her mind made an unpleasant screech, the kind that made any sensible driver want to stomp on the brakes before going any further.  

So she added, “Wait, shouldn’t we wait for the others?” 

“You sure you want to be in there with them right after they shot some hoops?” 

She shuddered.

He chuckled. “Thought so,” 

“So...just the two of us?” Katie asked carefully. 

Shiro shrugged. “Line’s not too long. I don’t see why not.”

She pursed her lips. Then nodded. 

If he’s insisting. 

“Come on,” 

Might as well get it over with. 

She followed him to the entrance of the photobooth.

Like ripping out a band-aid. 

----------------------------------------------

A/N: your girl bee’s first semester of premed is FINALLY coming to an end and ya’ll know that means? 

prepare for the updates, ya’ll. 

[spookyfloof]

Cry - BONUS chapter

| Main story |

Lemon. Takes place immediately after “Cry” but can be read on its own. Enjoy.

Just when he thought she was finally asleep, he felt her squirming beside him, and the faintest sound...a moan that sounded suspiciously like...

“Shiro.”

His eyes cracked open before closing again, and he turned on his side towards her.

“Shouldn't you be sleeping?” he mumbled and curled his arm around her.

Pidge shifted in his grasp, toeing the blanket off her.

“Can't...”

He opened his eyes again and brushed his hand over her naked arm. “What's the matter?”

“I need you.”

She snuggled her closer. “I'm right here, Pidge. I'm not going anywhere.”

“No,” She felt for his hand and brought it to her exposed belly, then down...down... “Here.”

“Oh...” Just grazing her slit, he could feel how wet she was.

Pidge turned towards him, finding the curve of his jaw. “Please?” Her breath was hot against him.

How could he refuse?

He let his fingers drift over her, up and down, then palming her swollen clit. She let out a satisfied groan and pressed her hips against him. She couldn't take this much longer.

“I need you inside me. Please,” she whimpered. Her fingers hooked onto his shirt so she could kiss his collarbone.

He returned the gesture before turning her away from him. She certainly knew how to get what she wanted.

He pulled down the waistband of his pants, discarding them from the bed completely, then pulled his erection free of his shorts.

She was already presenting herself to him and his appreciative hands squeezed the soft flesh of her hips.

He pressed into her drooling lips, easing his way in.

“All the way,” she pleaded and he pushed further in till he reached her cervix.

“Stay like that.” Pidge ground her hips in slow circles, relishing in the fullness he made her feel and practically purred as his fingers toyed with her clit in the same lazy rhythm.

“Good?”

“Mmm...” She started to nod but it shifted to her stretching and nuzzling the pillow. Shiro smiled and let her continue, his hips soon undulating almost subconsciously in time with her.

His fingers drew patterns over and around the sensitive nub peaking out from under its hood, teasing it, and her sighs got a little higher, more eager, and shameless noises escaped her tender throat.

He encouraged her with a kiss to her shoulder.

“Ta...kashi,” she keened before clenching and shuddering around him.

He rode it out with her, waiting until the squeezing stopped before he pulled out, slick with her fluids, though it took all his self-control not to orgasm himself.

“Feel better?” He smiled and she gave him a sleepy smile back.

“Much better,” she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“You could've come too, you know,” she said, her lips pushed into a pout.

“It's better if I don't. Not worth the risk.”

“Hmm.” She smushed her face into his chest and mumbled. “Always such a good boy, Shiro.”

He snorted in surprise. Really? After everything that led them to this bed together. “I don't know about that, Pidge.”

She giggled and kissed him again. “You sure you don't want me to help with that?” She reached down and fingered the head of his straining cock.

“Katie,” he chided, but she pretended not to hear him and hid her smile under his chin.

“You can say no. I promise I'll stop.” She would if he did. But she also knew he wouldn't tell her to. She wrapped him in her fist, sliding over the hard flesh up and down. He wouldn't last long.

He growled in protest, but didn't stop her.

“You can cum on my belly,” she added, as if he really needed more convincing. But he relented and let her finish him off till he painted her soft skin white with a grunt, his dick twitching in her hand.

Once he caught his breath, he leaned away from her to get a better look.

“You know, this was supposed to be about you.”

“It is. I like when you cum for me.”

He leveled his gaze with hers and she tried to hold back a grin. “What am I gonna do with you?” he asked as he cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip.

“Well...you could clean me up first,” she laughed and he paused to look down at the mess he'd made.

“Right. I can do that.”

[spookyfloof]

Fun fact:

Soft shidge helps to reinforce the Earth’s ozone layer. It’s true. Don’t Google it.

[galacticlee]

It Is Saturday

So I did it.

I succumbed to that shidge writing itch that you guys threw poison ivy on because this is something we all want and need apparently

Original post

The hardest thing that Takashi Shirogane had to do was get out of bed.

Not to say that he was sinking into depression and couldn't arise, no, it was the exact opposite. His bed, their bed, was one of the safest and most comforting places he'd ever known, thanks most in part to his tiny female partner, and it was a daily struggle to convince himself to depart from it. He and Pidge had owned their cozy apartment nearing a year now, and the slab of mattress and tangled sheets that they rested on had become the most intoxicating setting in his home. There were days were they opted to stay in place for hours, only leaving to make food or bathroom runs and returning to collapse in the other's arms and the sea of blankets. It was hard to leave because she was there, because they had comforted each other from the memories of the war there, because every good day, shit day, and night of love always ended in each other's arms, on the bed.

But some days were harder than the rest.

The setting was always the same, posing the exact challenge it had for a while now; dark grey sheets that lay crinkled up between them, olive comforter sprawled around the two in uneven heaps of worn fabric. Her sleeping form was bundled up next to him, clinging at the arms that encircled her torso, head turned to the one that used it as a pillow. The rest of the bed seemed freezing in comparison to her, though with the pair's legs tangled together and huddled figures smashed together, her presence chased off any remaining cold of the perimeter around him. Blinding sunlight poured from the gaps in the blinds, sloshing golden light inside the room in bouncing parallel strips.

Blinking into the realm of reality, Shiro instinctively tightened his grip on the woman in his arms, burying his nose in her curled, unruly hair with slow, fatigued movements. The sleeping Pidge made not a move besides the rising and falling of her sides, comfortably conforming to the ‘big spoon’ behind her. His senses were then filled with bright brown hair, blinding sunlight, and the scent of vanilla and burnt carbon as he was once again tempted by the thought of staying where he was for the remainder of the day.

Sighing, he blew her caramel curls away from his mouth, fingers knotting at his t-shirt that draped over her lithe frame. ‘Is showing up at a Garrison meeting really worth getting up from this? What day even is it?’

After a minute or two of contemplation, Shiro groaned and shifted away from the woman he loved, lifting the covers and throwing his legs over the bedframe, running a hand through his white-stained forelock. His muscles stung, the ache the familiar, momentary one that only existed because he had moved. Though the apartment's heater tried its best, he shivered-everything was like ice compared to her. With a final shake, he made a move to heave himself up-

-until dull nails tickled one of the scars on his back.

As soon as his head spun, he met the soft, squinted gaze of Pidge's honey eyes. Her arm extended out to him, hand blindly groping at any clutchable surface that he retained, eventually finding his prosthetic and then latching onto the metallic limb. She peeled her lips apart, blinking tiredly; her dreams must've been somewhat peaceful, then, as she wasn't automatically running at full speed.

"..ome back to bed," She offered, eyebrows kneading together and gentle smile painting itself on her soft, freckled features. She squeezed the bridge between his neck and shoulder, her other hand finding the parallel spot within a matter of seconds. The plea scratched at his resolve, itching and tugging at his head because damn just staying home today sounded really good.

He exhaled a quiet, desperate laugh and leaned over, pecking her nose. "I have to go."

"..iot."

"Hmm?"

Her freckled arms flung out and grabbed his shoulders, yanking him down over her lanky form and forcing him to catch himself out of instinct, the pair close enough to where their noses brushed together. Tangled hair guarded the tops of her half-lidded eyes, bottom lip jutting out and completing her pouty appearance. Pidge maneuvered her hands to press against the sides of his face, shaking it gently with every word.

"It. Is. Saturday."

"Oh."

Shiro's elbows gave way, the fatigued super-soldier of a man succumbing to her earlier plea and falling onto the lanky, warm form of his partner, forcing his arms around her through the mass of sheets and digging his nose against her neck. She laughed softly, the sound tickling his chest as the past Green Paladin roamed Shiro's shoulders, the two now glued together by method of awkward cuddling. The cold was now longer felt, and the soft heartbeat in the chest under his own was loud enough to become a lullaby and lure him back to the realm of sleep, clinging onto the woman beneath him all the while.

[spookyfloof]

Be My Escape (Ch. 1)

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Pairing: Shiro/Pidge (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

      Mild language (Warnings might change for later chapters)

Summary: Amidst her growing fears for her family and the pressures of being a Paladin, Pidge's feelings for Shiro only intensify. But is it really love, or the need to escape that’s drawing her to him?

Note: This takes place in some AU before the events of Season 3. I know there’s not a lot of love for Shidge, but hopefully the 5 or 6 people who don’t hate it will like this... :x 

Read on AO3

“What about Shiro?”

If there was one thing she knew, it was that she definitely did not have a crush on Shiro. Or on any of the other Paladins for that matter, but definitely, 100% not Takashi Shirogane.

“Not my type.”

“Okay...” Lance drawled out the word as the gears clicked together in his head. “Wait, don't tell me you have a crush on Keith!” His voice betrayed just a little too much concern and the corners of Pidge's mouth cracked into a smile. 

“Nah. Too moody.”

“Ha! Got that right!” Lance relaxed back into the couch with the smugness of someone who planned to use that info for later. “Well, Pidge, that just leaves me.” 

He grinned, poking his elbow out of their shared blanket to nudge her playfully. 

“I can't blame you if you have a crush on moi.”

She looked up from the screen to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, but not you either, lover boy,” she said flatly, and he feigned a gasp.

“I'm hurt!”

“Oh, please!” Pidge chuckled, throwing a small fistful of popcorn in his general direction.

It was getting late. Granted, time moved a bit differently in the abyss of space, but the team did their best to keep a regular schedule. Luckily, Alteans had a similar sleep-wake cycle to humans.

While the Blue Paladin usually liked to get his beauty sleep, he made an exception about once-an-Earth-week to indulge in bad Horror flicks with Pidge. When they had the downtime, of course.

He tried to focus on the film about mutant rabbits terrorizing an unsuspecting small town, but his blue eyes kept flitting back to his companion. Something was definitely up with her and he was itching to get to the bottom of it.

He readjusted his side of the blanket so only his head was free of its warmth and didn't bother to hold back a yawn.

“That's everybody,” he said eventually, ignoring the B-movie screaming coming from the small speakers. “Except Coran and Allura. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it's not Coran, but...you're not gay, are you? I mean, if you are, that's cool, but ya know, I kinda have a thing for Allura...”

Pidge couldn't help but smile as she rolled her eyes. “Yeah. I know.”

“Oh, Lance... sweet, sweet, Lance...”

He was certainly persistent about this. But she supposed it meant he cared at least.

“You can relax. I don't have crush on Allura or Coran. Now can we please just watch the movie? This is your favorite part.”

-

She wanted to believe Lance was just being...well...himself, but he wasn't wrong about her having a crush on someone. And a part of her hated that. Why now was she losing her cool? Why was it getting harder to hide? What changed? She racked her brain in search of an answer, but came up empty.

Pidge chewed at her bottom lip. Lance had long since retreated to bed once the movie ended, but she was far too restless to do the same. Instead, she'd come to the pool room to try to wind down, only to find herself stressing more. Despite the location, she had no intention of actually swimming. 

She sat at the pool's edge, her bare feet dangling into its cool grasp and her computer poised precariously in her lap.

Normally, the sounds of the water and its dancing reflections were soothing...

It was all so absurd. There was nothing to be gained from a crush on him. She knew that! So why? Why did she have to be attracted to the most unattainable member of Voltron? Why couldn't it be Hunk? They had a lot in common. Or Lance? Or even Keith? Any one of the other paladins would be a smarter choice than Shiro.

“I wonder if there's some kind of alien tech that can erase a person's feelings for someone.”

“Wouldn't that be convenient?” she grumbled.

She tapped lazy fingers against the keyboard. There were more important things to be thinking about. Like finding her father and brother. She was close to a lead. At least to the whereabouts of her brother. She just needed a little more intel. Just one more clue...

So far, she knew they were separated, which frankly did not bode well. They were safer together. But they could be anywhere in the entire universe. Anywhere except safe at home...

Before the weight of that fact could creep over her again, she started at a familiar voice.

“Oh, hey, Pidge. Couldn't sleep either?”

Her heart leapt to her throat and her face flushed, but she did her best to look undisturbed. The automatic door closed and footsteps moved towards her. She clacked away on her computer, doing little more than opening and closing random programs and files, but it didn't matter so long as she looked busy.

The footsteps stopped.

“Um...Pidge?”

Pidge took a breath, cleared her throat quietly, and turned reluctantly to greet her visitor.

“Hey, Shiro. You're up early. Wh-what are you doing here?”

The eldest paladin strolled in wearing a pair of stretchy drawstring shorts, a fitted sleeveless shirt, and a towel draped around his neck.

Pidge's eyes were drawn to his exposed left arm in particular. She noted a couple of scars poking out near his shoulder. Even when he was dressed casually, he barely exposed any skin below his neckline. And from the way his prosthetic was holding his bicep, he seemed almost...self-conscious?

She wasn't supposed to see this.

Blood started to rush back to her face.

Shiro smoothed his human hand against the back of his neck and looked off to the side.

“I haven't slept yet actually. Just thought maybe a few laps in the pool might help clear my head.” He turned his gaze back to her. “Now I could ask the same of you.”

She snapped her head back to her computer screen and brought a hand up to adjust her glasses before remembering she wasn't wearing them.

“Nothing really. Just, uh, I find the water relaxing sometimes. It's quiet, y'know?”

He nodded in understanding, unable to see Pidge's panic.

“Well, don't let me interrupt you.”

“Oh, no...”

“Uh...” she floundered, “Actually, I gotta, um...I was just about to leave! I should be getting to bed. I'm pretty tired.” Pidge clicked the computer screen shut and swung her feet back on to solid floor. She stuffed the assorted gadgets she'd brought with her haphazardly in her arms and all but ran out of the room.

“Goodnight!” she called behind her as the door shut.

Dumbfounded, Shiro blinked and held up a hand to no one. “Goodnight...uh I guess”

He shrugged and made his way to the deep end of the pool.

-

Safe in her room, Pidge stripped off her clothes like they'd insulted her mother and threw on her pajamas; an over-sized shirt and flannel pants.

“I can't believe I did that! Of course he's gonna think that was suspicious! Idiot!”

She burrowed under the sheets of her bed, frowning at the wall beside her.

“I must be losing it.”

She turned over and fluffed her pillow before flopping back down and clenching her eyes shut, forcing herself to at least pretend to sleep.

-

Shiro gasped for air as he breached the water's surface one last time. He rubbed at the water in his eyes, and the thought occurred to him that maybe he should've bought goggles during their last trip to the space mall.

He pushed the white tuft of his hair out of his face and glanced around to reorient himself. Something caught his eye then. In the bright, off-white room, a small, dark object sat by the pool's edge.

He swam over to get a better look.

Hooking his elbows on the ledge, he scrutinized whatever it was, but didn't touch it. It looked vaguely electronic and probably didn't mesh well with water.

“Pidge...”

-

It hadn’t even been a half hour by the time she’d given up on sleep – it was a useless endeavor from the beginning – and settled on tinkering with Rover instead. The little robot needed to be reset anyway. And she needed to keep her mind busy and away from him. Curse him and his stupid, delicious...but still stupid muscles...

She leaned against her propped up pillow as she worked, a precision screwdriver in hand, when a series of knocks rapped at her door.

Shiro spoke up from the other side.

“Pidge? You awake?”

He paused only a moment, not really expecting her to be up.

“You left this...” He turned the strange object over in his hand. “...device? Of some kind by the pool. I don't know if it's important, but I figured you'd want it back.”

He waited a little longer this time, but Pidge was frozen in place.

“Crap, that's where I dropped that stupid thing!”

Sure he wasn't getting an answer, he continued, “Okay. I'll leave it at your station then.”

“Good. Let him leave it there. You don't need to open the door,” she told herself, “But you can't keep avoiding him either. Someone's going to catch on.”

Her mind tugged her back and forth, increasing in fervor as she heard him start to leave.

“Agh, screw it.”

She set her project on the nightstand and opened the door.

“Hi, Shiro,” Pidge offered, smiling weakly when Shiro turned back towards her.

“Sorry if I woke you.”

“No, I was up. Just had my headphones in,” she lied, scratching at her mussed chestnut hair

He shortened the distance between them and presented the device. “I believe this belongs to you?”

She took it and absently started fiddling with it a moment before catching herself. She stuffed it in one of her pants pockets.

“Yep, that's mine. Thanks.” 

“No problem. Just didn't want it to get damaged or anything.” He was wearing the same clothes as before, but this time his hair was stringy and his clothes noticeably damp...and clingy. “Um, listen, don't take this the wrong way, and maybe I'm wrong, but...it seems like you've been avoiding me lately. Did I do something to upset you?”

“See??”

Pidge sighed, staring down at her feet. “No, you haven't done anything.”

She sucked in a breath and held it to stop herself from saying the words she knew she’d regret. 

There was a long pause.

“Just tell him! Don't. Just do it! Bad idea.”

Shiro's face grew more and more concerned as he waited, but he didn’t dare interrupt her.

“Shiro, the truth is...the truth is...”

Her heart pounded like a drumline. She couldn't do this right now. Not now. But she couldn't keep this up much longer either. Her eyes darted up and down the hallway, sure that someone would emerge at any second and see her red-faced and flustered in front of their leader. She couldn’t handle that. Absolutely not. But it was too late to back out.

“Actually, um, can we talk tomorrow? Tomorrow night? Alone?”

Shiro raised his eyebrows. This wasn't like her.

“Of course. Whatever you need. Just find me and let me know when you're ready, okay?” he said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I'm here for you.”

“Thanks,” she nearly whispered, still avoiding his eyes.

“Get some sleep, Pidge. I'll see you tomorrow.”

He released her and Pidge nodded, giving him a half-smile before fleeing back into her room.

Once the door closed and she was sure the Black Paladin was far enough away, she dove into her bed and groaned as loud as she could into the nearest pillow.

“Why!? Why did I have to answer the door!?”

[spookyfloof]

Be My Escape (Ch. 2)

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Pairing: Shiro/Pidge (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

      Strong Language (Warnings might change for later chapters)

Summary: Amidst her growing fears for her family and the pressures of being a Paladin, Pidge’s feelings for Shiro only intensify. But is it really love, or the need to escape that’s drawing her to him?

Note: For the sake of this story, Pidge is 17 and Shiro is 21. It becomes relevant during this chapter.

Read on AO3

“Tomorrow” was both brutally long and frighteningly short.

At Allura and Coran's instruction, the team attended councils with the leaders of several planets in their current solar system. But it was all a formality. After having freed these people only days ago of Zarkon's control, introductions were only proper.

The occupying Galra forces had been easily taken care of, barely fortified as there defenses were – disabling communications without detection had been a cinch. After all, these planets were of minimal value to Zarkon, but for Voltron, every little victory helped.

The assemblies with the various alien species went smoothly, as expected, but it was Pidge's anticipated meeting with Shiro that had her on edge.

The entire day, she was distracted, anxious, exhausted, and most of all wishing desperately she could reverse time. For the most part, Shiro and Allura took turns speaking on the team's behalf, but when it was the latter's turn to take over the discussions, Pidge would catch the former stealing glances at her.

There was no way she was getting out of this.

By dinnertime, Pidge was sure she was losing years of her life with how fast her heart was beating.

“Just make it through dinner. Maybe if I eat fast enough I can pretend I'm not feeling well and go to bed early without having to say anything.”

The idea was appealing, but she knew that would only put off the inevitable. And she didn't think she could handle this anxiety for another day.

Suddenly, Hunk and Coran emerged from the kitchen with several plates of food in hand.

“Hey, guys!” Hunk announced to the dining room, “Me and Coran managed to make improvised Ratatouille with some of the vegetables the locals gave us! You guys are gonna love it!”

“It's actually rather good!” Coran chimed in, “It reminds me a bit of a traditional Utrurq dish I tried once...although this is a lot quieter, so that's certainly a plus.”

Keith exchanged his confusion with Lance from across the table, but no one questioned him.

Pidge tried to eat, but with her stomach in knots, the most she managed was a few nibbles and abstract food sculptures with her fork. Before she knew it, everyone else was already finished or cleaning up their dishes...except Shiro.

Hunk came up to her as he was taking his plate to the kitchen and leaned against the back of her chair.

“You didn't like it?” he asked, disappointed, “It was the sauce, wasn't it? I think I got a little too experimental with it.”

She turned to him, almost surprised.

“No! It's great!” she argued, “I'm just...not really feeling well.”

This earned another glance from Shiro despite him being in the middle of a conversation of his own.

“It's cool. Don't force yourself. Do you need antacid or something? I'm pretty sure we have something like that.”

“No, no, I'm fine,” she said before her peripheral noticed the rest of the team getting up from the table, leaving only her and Shiro still seated.

Panic settled in anew.

“Actually, I think I'm feeling a little better already!”

Pidge shoveled the rest of her food in her mouth and nearly choked in the process of gulping it down. She shot up from her chair.

“Thanks, Hunk. Thanks, Coran. That was delicious!” she said with a genuine smile, then abducted her plate through the kitchen door, leaving a completely baffled Hunk in her wake.

–

Shiro chewed the last of his food slowly as he processed the exchange between Pidge and Hunk. The way she was acting today during the meetings, and the way she'd bolted from the table just now, she was obviously freaking out about something. And while she promised to tell him, he still couldn't shake the feeling she was avoiding him.

Whatever it was, it had to be serious. Shiro liked to think he was pretty familiar with the members of his team, but he'd never seen her so on-edge like this before. It was obvious she was still concerned about Matt and their father, but there had to be something else. This couldn't just be about that, could it? The more he thought, the more he worried, but he'd already resolved not to pressure her into talking.

She'd come to him when she was ready.

–

It wasn't until at least an hour or two later when she'd found him, though he'd lost track of time poring over the ship's data on Galra weaponry and known battle tactics in the strategy room. Keith had asked to spar with him after dinner, but he declined with a promise to train together tomorrow – if Pidge did show up, he wanted to make sure he'd be alone.

When she finally arrived, she didn't bother to cross the threshold into the room itself. Her fingers were tangled together at her waist. Her fingers were wringing themselves behind her back.

“I'm...” she started,  paused, and then sighed, annoyed it seemed, though more at herself than him, “I'm ready to talk. If you are, of course.”

He smiled warmly in response.

“Of course.”

“First, can we go somewhere a little more private?”

--

In silence, Shiro followed her to a wing of the castle he was barely familiar with -- there wasn't much here and it went mostly unused. The hall they followed was dark and quiet with only enough lights for them to see where they were going. When they stopped in front of a locked door, Pidge touched her hand to a sensor pad nearby. It beeped softly and glowed green, apparently appeased, and the door slid open. Inside appeared to be some kind of personal library, furnished with floor to ceiling bookcases, a long couch, and a large L-shaped desk. There was a view of the nearest planet outside.

“This was King Alfor's,” Pidge said, answering Shiro's unspoken question, “Allura told me I could come here whenever I wanted.”

“I see,” he said while taking everything in.

“You might want to sit down,.”

Without a word, he took a seat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other. She began to pace in front of him.

“Okay, so, I'm just gonna get this out. I'm just gonna say it. Okay. Alright...”

Eventually, she stopped pacing, took a deep breath and with eyes honed in on the desk, she spoke the words, “Shiro, I like you. And not in a friend kind of way because I know that's what you would think hearing me say that, but that's not how I mean it. I like you, as in, I like you like you, and... uh I can't believe I'm saying this and I'm going to stop talking now and let you say something... Okay.”

“Oh god, what am I doing?!”

She faced him then and studied his body language expectantly, trying to gauge his response before he could even say anything.

Shiro leaned back a little and focused on the floor tiles between them.

“Hmm,” was all he could get out at first, but after several seconds, he continued. “Well, I can say I honestly was not expecting that. You did have me worried there.”

More silence. He chose his next words carefully.

“I'm flattered, but...why me? I'm...well...” He looked up at her then “...a few years older than you.”

If anything, Pidge was incredulous.

“You have to ask?”

She'd meant it as a genuine question, but as he didn't answer, she went on.

“I mean, you're mature, for one. You're tall, brave, a born leader, a great pilot, attractive, obviously.” She said these words with ease if not conviction, her anxiety dissolved by disbelief that he would even ask.

“Don't put me on a pedestal, Pidge. I'm only human.” His eyes flashed to his cybernetic arm. “Well, mostly.”

“And modest!” she added, gesturing to him as if he were ignoring something obvious.

Shiro gave her a reprimanding look.

“Okay, look, I've admired you ever since I found out you were going to be on the Kerberos mission with my dad and my brother. And then ever since I met you, I've liked you and....sort of...” she debated revealing the last bit of her confession, but she'd already come this far. “...Sort of wanted you to...kiss me. I know, that's cheesy.”

He leaned forward, planting both feet on the floor now.

“Pidge, I think you know what I have to say here. You are incredible, you know that, but no matter how I feel or don't feel, it doesn't matter. You and I can't get involved that way. You're...”

“To young,” she finished for him, irritation weighing down her tone.

“...Yeah.”

“And if I were older?”

“I...would think about it,” he said cautiously.

She frowned and Shiro sighed.

“You're a wonderful young woman, Pidge.”

“Don't do that,” she huffed while crossing her arms and looking away, “I don't want your pity.”

“I'm not pitying you,” he insisted, but she didn't buy it.

“I know it's ‘wrong’,” she said, emphasizing the word with her fingers mimicking quotation marks, “but if it's something we both happened to want, I don't see why we couldn't. I mean, I'm the one who came to you. It's not like you'd be taking advantage of me.”

“It's complicated,” he said, vainly hoping she'd accept it at that. Naturally, she wanted him to elaborate.

“If we were to be together in that way... hypothetically... the last thing I would want is for you to end up regretting it. Wishing you'd been with someone your own age. Or that you'd waited. You should really think about this.”

Pidge rolled her eyes with a groan.

“I have, Shiro! Practically every day we put our lives at risk. Every day we wake up with the reality there might not be a tomorrow for us. I'm not asking you to marry me! If you don't like me that way, then just tell me. I'd understand! I know I'm not gorgeous like Allura. I don't have long flowy hair anymore. I get it! But don't use my age as a cop-out!”

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose. This was a lot more like the Pidge he knew – stubborn.

The right thing to do, the smart thing to do would be to simply tell her he wasn't interested and leave it at that. It was also probably the easiest, and yet he didn't, and he wasn't wholly sure why. True, he wanted to spare her feelings, but there was something else. Something he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

“Pidge,” he said finally, “I can't. I'm sorry.”

“You keep saying that! 'Can't'' It's bullshit!” Her voice started to fade from enraged to pleading, “Just say it. Please. Just say you don't like me that way.”

Shiro breathed deeply -- inhale, exhale -- but could only shake his head, defeated.

“I can't.”

She understood nonetheless and her mouth pressed into a hard line. She bit the insides of her lips together and the light reflecting in her big brown eyes seemed to shimmer.

Her hands balled into fists at her sides and they started to tremble. From anger? He didn't know. And neither did she. For a split second, Shiro feared she would try to punch him and his body tensed on impulse.  

Instead, she spun on her heel and started towards the door without a word until...she didn't. Pidge stopped in her tracks despite her mind begging her feet to move. They didn't.

“Don't you dare do this! Not now!”

It happened faster than either of them could fully register. Especially Shiro. But once he did, his eyes widened in horror.

He'd gutted her. With no more effort than it took to crush a sheet of tinfoil, he'd crumpled her to the floor. And he was petrified.

Despite her silence, her chest heaved. Pidge forced her hands over her mouth, her eyes desperate and wild like cornered prey.

“Stop it! Stop!”

But she didn't. She couldn't.

A sob escaped her throat and she wanted to scream.

“No!”

As he watched, the scene before him began to feel eerily familiar. Images of grieving mothers, children, siblings, separated from their families, separated from hope flickered behind his eyes.

He'd seen this before.

Slowly, wordlessly, Shiro approached her, his footsteps soft on the hard floor. Once he was close enough, he lowered himself to his knees behind her and touched her shoulder. She didn't react.

He started to ease her towards him, gently, but she resisted. Her arms flailed to shake him off and he was quick to let go, but in doing so, she released another cry. She clamped a hand back over her mouth and forced her eyes closed as she curled further into herself.

He waited a moment, then repeated the action -- this time she didn't try to repel him. Both his hands cupped her shoulders then and he drew her to his chest, gathering her petite form into his arms.

She was helpless but to hide her face behind her hands as unforgiving tears streamed down.

Shiro leaned back until he was sitting on the floor and pulled her into his lap. His arms wrapped tighter around her, enveloping her easily, and he planted his chin atop her head. On some instinct, he closed his eyes and started to hum a tuneless melody. His thumb slid back and forth over her arm like a soothing metronome.

“I'm so sorry,” he thought, “This isn't what I wanted.”

Pidge managed to whimper through her fingers, “I'm sorry. I'm being so fucking dramatic. You must think I'm insane freaking out like this over nothing. I must be on my period or something.” She forced a laugh, but it was quickly drowned in more tears.

Shiro said nothing, his face solemn as he continued humming.

Eventually, the tight bundle in his arms relaxed enough to rest her weight against him and lean her head on his collarbone. They stayed like that for several more minutes, until Shiro could feel her body had stopped trembling.

“Do you want me to let you go now?” he murmured.

Pidge was silent as she thought. When she finally answered, her subdued voice sounded almost guilty.

“Would you be angry if I said no?”

He chuckled and the sound rumbled into her like a distant thunder. “Not at all.”

She swallowed hard and it hurt. Everything hurt. Most of all her heart.

“Shiro...” She blinked back fresh tears. “What if they're... what if I'm too late? What if my dad and my brother...” Her voice started to crack.

“Don't think like that,” he answered before she could continue, “Both of them are strong and capable. And so are you. You'll find each other. You have to believe that.”

Her head bobbled weakly and it wasn't until her sobs subsided again that Shiro apologized.

“Pidge. I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“I know. It's not your fault.” Her vocal chords felt thick and heavy against the lump in her throat.

“I hope you'll forgive me.”

She sniffled. “I'm not that petty, Shiro.”

“Well, I wouldn't blame you if you were.” He paused, unsure if he should continue, then lowered his voice. “I meant what I said, you know. You are wonderful –  you're so, so intelligent, not to mention a great pilot and more-than-decent fighter. I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be the Green Paladin. And yes, you are beautiful, even without your flowy hair.”

He loosened his hold on her. “I wish I could give you a straight answer...”

Pidge didn't care anymore. She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She didn't want him to hold her – no matter how safe it made her feel. She didn't want his warmth. Didn't want his comfort. Didn't want to be near his scent that felt like home. All she wanted was sleep. Sweet, dreamless sleep to whisk her away and make her forget everything for a few precious hours.

“I think I should be going to bed.”

“That's probably a good idea,” Shiro agreed before releasing her.

As he helped her to her feet, he caught a glimpse of her bloodshot eyes and tear-streaked face, but she was quick to turn away, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. She shuffled out into the corridor, but as she turned the corner, her face out of his view, she paused, her hand lingering on the door's frame.

“Good night, Takashi.”

“Good night, Katie,” he said, and she left.

For a while, Shiro didn't move. He stared out into the empty hallway, white, pristine, cold...and silent. When he broke himself from his reverie, he retreated back to the couch behind him and sat down, his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers steepled together.

His thick eyebrows furrowed as his eyes wandered about the room, searching. Searching for something. He leaned back, his neck arching over the couch's support as far as it would go, and gazed at the ceiling, at nothing. He pressed the side of his fist to his forehead.

“Fuck.”

[galacticlee]

Tickling

@brooke101art ohh can you make a headcannon where pidge and shiro are like tickling each other and then shiro touches her in away on accident and then they start acting weird around each other

Yes I freaking can

Request from this post (x)

"Wh- aha- why- ahahah-"

Shiro was doubled over and sliding down one of the walls of Pidge's laboratory, tears poking out from under his crinkled eyelids as he struggled to catch his breath. Small, thin hands ran lightly over his sides, just gentle enough to send him into wheezing, uncontrollable laughter to where his ribs ached and cheeks stung. The Black Paladin had, for lack of a better term, been assaulted by the team's resident tech expert the second he set foot into her quiet spot, flashing her golden eyes in his direction and flying out of her seat like some sort of creature from another world. Now, it had been nearly a minuet and a half since this 'fierce attack' had started, and Shiro swore he was going to lose his quiznacking mind.

"Because," She laughed, squirming out of the way of him much larger arms, "I said no checking up on me!"

Shiro fell to a knee, desperately attempting to shove her, shove anything, out of the way as his rampant giggling continued on, yet he only caught loose green sweater. "It's three-hehehaha- in the morning, Pidge-"

"No excuses!" The brunette cut him off, warm eyes narrowing. "I warned you of the consequences!"

He managed to tear his darkened eyes open and throw his head back to snatch a glance at her; Pidge's grin was shining in the dimmed light, her golden eyes, though tired and glossy, glowed with secret appreciation for his interruption. She threw her head out to the side, tossing curly honey-brown hair out of her view- -and away from her freckled neck.

Perfect.

He shoved her arms out of the way and lunged, the two tumbling backward on the metallic ground in a mangled mess of limbs as he ran his flesh-and-blood appendage just above where her sweater started. Pidge shrieked, crying out with a strangled cackle and a pitiful push at her commander's grasp at her scrawny waist.

"Not f-faiiiir!" She whined, bare feet kicking wildly and cotton-clad shoulders rising up to her ears. Their sounds of mirth echoed off of the towering hanger walls, the constrained thrashing and movement never ceasing for a second. Shiro threw his arm down and raked up her sides, the smaller's chortling only increasing in volume.

Then it started to die down as he ripped his hands away, face burning red. Pidge's own started to flush as well as they both started to sit up, eyes sticking only to the floor.

Why?

Because the Black Paladin had grabbed the Green's boob.

A handful of seconds trickled by, the human's calming breath slowly dissolving into quiet and awkwardness settled into the clean air. It continued this way until Shiro cleared his throat and shifted upward, head still turned away from her as his expression continued to heat up with color. He gingerly offered his metallic hand as a way of her standing.

"Sorry."

"Is something wrong with you and Pidge?" Hunk asked one day over breakfast, scooping food goo onto his plate.

Shiro glanced up with tired eyes, another night of no sleep and training draining him."What?" He asked once more, shoving back a yawn with his Galra palm clasped over his mouth.

"You've been avoiding each other for the past two days." He stated it as if it was a common known fact, that even Zarkon himself knew it, shrugging his shoulders calmly. "You won't even look at each other without blushing or something."

He grasped at straws for a quick explanation, but only settled for a one-worded response as he reached for the coffee-concoction he had gained earlier and tipped it to his lip. Shiro glanced up and met Hunk's gaze, his cheeks threatening to grow pink once again. "Tickling."

That was all the answer that the Yellow Paladin needed, as he exhaled a breathy laugh and shook his head, yellow bandana tossing about. He leaned over his shoulder and clasped it, smile wide. "Remember that old saying everyone on Earth would say, about falling off of a horse and getting back in the saddle?"

He then whisked away, leaving Shiro to deal with the new addition to the table: a honey-haired genius who had plopped down in front of him, glasses crooked and bags under her eyes ever present. It took the commander multiple minuets in addition to a dry throat to gather up any courage he retained in his arms and shove it forward.

"So," He managed, "Still ticklish?"

[spookyfloof]

Be My Escape (Ch. 3)

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Pairing: Shiro/Pidge (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

     Blood/gore, Reference to sexual activity (sort of?) (Warnings might change for later chapters)

Summary: Amidst her growing fears for her family and the pressures of being a Paladin, Pidge’s feelings for Shiro only intensify. But is it really love, or the need to escape that’s drawing her to him?

Read on AO3

The light above him was blinding. Every time he started to sink down into oblivion, it seemed to drag him back up to whatever bright hell this was.

Shiro blinked once, twice. His eyelids felt so heavy. Around him were formless blobs. Why were they so close? What did they want?

He tried to sit up only to be stopped by... He looked down...He was strapped to a table?

He blinked harder, trying to clear the fog in his vision.

“He's waking up. He might need another dose.”

That voice...that accent...was familiar...

Shiro tried his bindings again. His right arm felt so tight and his fingers tingled like something was cutting off his circulation.

He forced his eyes to focus.

A tourniquet... Was he injured? But he wasn't bleeding.

“You can give him a little more, but not enough to knock him out. I want him just conscious enough.”

Another voice. Whoever they were, they weren't human. Galra?

There was a soft tink near his ear, then a pinch in his neck. He winced.

His eyes shifted to his right again. One of the blobs...doctors?...was holding something big and sharp. It gleamed in the light. Its edges seemed to leer at him.

Someone came around and tightened the binding at his wrist.

The sharp object came closer and he could see his reflection in its face. When did his hair get so long?

There was a whirring noise suddenly. Loud. The object shook in the hands of its wielder and glowed an eerie purple, its teeth becoming a blur of movement. It was so loud. It sounded very much like a chainsaw...

Why was it coming towards him? Towards his arm...

He tried to wriggle away from it, but the shackles didn't budge. It came even closer, a trembling, blood-thirsty creature.

Shiro started to struggle. His legs fought to find some kind of leverage, but they too were bound.

“No!”

His voice came out hoarse but desperate.

“No!” he yelled out again.

Another voice rang out from the distance.

“Let me go!” it cried, “Shiro!”

“Pidge?”

She came into view from the far side of the room, suited in her Paladin armor, her hands tied together behind her back. She was being pulled past the open door, struggling against two Galra sentries.

Their eyes met.

“Shiro!” she called out to him, jerking herself toward him only to be yanked back and forced away.

His stomach curled with fear.

“How did she get here? Where were they taking her? What were they going to do to her?!”

“Pidge!” he screamed, “Let her go! Let her go!”

He strained against his bindings.

The room flickered. The once spotless room was now splattered with red. Something on his chest caught his eye. He looked down. It was open. He could see his ribs, his organs, his lungs, his heart pulsing.

To his left...his left arm was missing... Blood... wet, sticky, crimson blood pooled around him from the gaping stump left behind.

That sound got even louder then. He'd forgotten about the gleaming creature.

He turned his head just in time to see it rip into his skin.

–

Shiro's eyes snapped open. He was in a different room now, this one silent and dark, but he could still feel the blood around him... He bolted upright and desperately scanned his surroundings. He flicked on a lamp he found nearby and breathed out a sigh of relief once the soft light washed over the room... his bedroom. He was in the Castle-ship.

“You're safe, Takashi. You're okay,” he assured himself. He took deep, slow breaths as he made a visual inventory of what he could see.

“It was just a dream.”

But his body still felt wet, he realized...and now cold. His flesh hand flew to his torso and he looked down, immediately realizing it was just sweat. He sighed again.

He hated that dream the most. It was never exactly the same – sometimes the room was different, sometimes it was Zarkon himself wielding the tool that cut off his arm, sometimes his arm was simply ripped out of its socket, but he was always strapped down, helpless, and it always ended the same.

But Pidge had never been in this one before. None of the other Paladins, no one in Team Voltron, was ever in it. Sometimes a faceless alien prisoner or two, but no one he knew.

She'd been appearing in most of his dreams since the night she'd confessed to him. Most of them unpleasant. At first, he figured it was just a fluke, but as the days and nights went by, he started to suspect it was much more than that.

–

It had been several days since Pidge's confession. Several days of numb heartache, several nights of wishing she had anymore tears to cry. Several nights of...what she thought would be regret, but there was none. Shiro knew how she felt about him and it was better this way, surely. Better than holding it in till she burst. It was almost a relief to get it out.

Almost.

She didn't bother to avoid him anymore –  there was nothing left to hide. But whenever they found themselves alone, she had little to say.

“Any projects you've been working on?” Shiro asked one day when he happened upon her in the lounge, skimming through some kind of instruction manual.

“Yep.”

She flipped a page, then another.

“Any you wanna talk about?”

“Not really.”

He couldn't blame her for treating him like a stranger. She had every right to feel hurt, every right to want to keep her distance. So he tried to give her her space.

Pidge didn't mean to be dismissive, but the more interaction she had with him, the more she had to look at him and his stupid face, the harder she had to fight to keep from lashing out.

It was tempting to push him into giving her a clear answer. The thought even crossed her mind to try to seduce him, appeal to whatever base instincts he might have, not that she really knew how and would just embarrass herself more. But it didn't matter anyway. She already knew how he felt about her.

He'd never choose her. For one, in-group relationships almost always spelled disaster, and someone like Shiro would never risk the team like that. But even if they weren't both members of the universe's last hope, she wasn't his type. With his looks – his eyes that seemed to see and understand the deepest parts of you, his picturesque face somehow both boyish and mature, his chiseled jawline, his body sculpted like an underwear model – and his infallible personality, he could have anyone he wanted. Why would he want her?

Pidge wrinkled her nose at the bathroom mirror in front of her.

He was so insanely out of her league, it was almost laughable. So why did she still want him? What was the point?

She started scrubbing her teeth a little harder, the minty foam gathering around the corners of her lips. She stopped for a moment and admired how it almost made her look rabid. She gnashed her teeth and tested a growl.

“Whoa, down Fido!”

Lance appeared behind her in the mirror, then moved toward the sink.

“Actually I was going for Old Yeller,” she said around the toothbrush, though it sounded more like, “Ackshilly I wuh goig for Oh Yelluh”

“Huh?”

She stopped brushing and spat in the drain.

“Actually, I was going for Old Yeller,” she said again.

“Aw, that story still makes me sad.”

“What are you doing in here anyway?” she asked as she turned on the faucet to wash her hands.

He grabbed her toothpaste and squeezed a dollop onto a toothbrush he'd apparently brought with him.

“Stealing some of your toothpaste. I think somebody used all mine. I can't find it.”

She wiped her hands on a nearby towel.

“We have more, you know.”

“Yeah, but I don't wanna open a new one,” he shrugged.

Pidge just shook her head and pat him on the shoulder. “Never change, Lance,” she said, then started out the bathroom.

“Of course! Why change perfection? Anyway, what's wrong?” he asked casually, and she balked.

“What do you mean?”

“I know something's wrong. You've been a little...” He teetered his hand. “...off these past few days. What's going on? Is it about your crush?”

She sighed. He still hadn't let up on that. While she knew he was most likely just ribbing her, she also knew he could be a little too perceptive for his own good.

“Would you believe me if I said 'no'?” she tried.

He seemed to think about it. “Hmmm...not really.” A faint smile crossed her lips.

“Yeah. Somehow I didn't really think so.”

“In all seriousness, I know we joke around a lot, but you know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied automatically and hoped he didn't hear the lie.  “Anyway, brush your teeth already. Your breath stinks.”

She made a show of pinching her nose closed and Lance blew out a lungful of morning breath in her direction.

–

It wasn't that Pidge didn't trust Lance to keep a secret. Sure, he sometimes put his foot in his mouth, but he wouldn't blab about something like this. Probably. Even so, there was no way she could tell him she had a crush on Shiro. She couldn't tell any of them. It was bad enough that Shiro himself knew, but if anyone else did, it would just make things more awkward.

It was best kept between the two of them, at least until she could get over him... somehow.

Despite herself, she couldn't stop him from permeating her thoughts. She still couldn't help fantasizing about him during quiet moments alone. She still daydreamed about the two of them together, from innocuous, flirty exchanges to envisioning their bodies tangled together in heady moments of passion. She both loved and hated the things her imagination came up with.

But that's all it would ever be... just her imagination. It was bittersweet, though lately much more bitter than sweet.

–

Shiro couldn't really say how he came to his decision. He just knew he had to do something. He had to fix this.

And somehow it was the only thing that made sense.

He tried to distract himself, keep himself busy with training, but his thoughts kept circling back to Pidge. He knew what he'd done. He knew he'd broken her heart, and he knew she didn't deserve that. But what else could he have done? There'd been no good option, no outcome that would make it all okay or keep everything the same.

The events of that night played over and over in his head. He dissected every moment for an opportunity he might've missed, something else he could've said or done.

He recalled every syllable that had come out of her mouth.

“And then ever since I met you, I've liked you and...sort of...sort of wanted you to ...kiss me...”

Suddenly a slender, dark-skinned hand waved in front of his face.

“Shiro?”

He blinked away his daze and turned to see the princess in her usual gown leaning her elbows on the kitchen counter beside him.

“Everything alright? You seem very distracted.”

“Oh, yeah, just a little tired I guess,” he said.

“You know, if you're really having that much trouble sleeping, you can spend a night in one of the healing pods,” Allura suggested.

He imagined lying in one of those pods, the thick glass door closing on him, trapping him there...

“No!” he exclaimed abruptly, then caught himself, “I mean, thanks, but no thanks. I've just been keeping myself up.” He rotated the cup he'd been holding between his hands. His tea had gotten cold. He took a sip anyway.

She watched him with a tilt of her head.

“It tastes better warm,” she explained, and he shrugged.

“It's fine.” One of the space mice that had been relaxing between the two scurried over to the cup and sniffed at it, curious, then found its way to Allura's hand. She scooped the tiny Altean creature up and placed it on her shoulder before giving it an affectionate scratch behind its ears.

“Well... the option is there, should you need it. You're not pushing yourself too hard, are you? Coran says you've been spending more time in the training room lately.”

That much was true. He'd told the older Altean it was because he needed to brush up on his fighting techniques.

Shiro denied her allegation despite the soreness in his limbs reminding him of the reality, and she gave him a once-over before seeming to come to some kind of conclusion.  

She plopped her chin in her hand and stared off into the distance.

“I'm antsy too,” she admitted wistfully. “It feels like Zarkon and his army are everywhere, just waiting for us. And right now there's not much we can do about it.”

“As long as we have Voltron, we have a fighting chance. I know it doesn't feel like much, but we are making progress. Wars aren't won in a day.”

“I suppose you're right,” she admitted with a twinge of reluctance.

“But I get what you mean,” he added, then took another swig of his tea. He was perfectly fine with her thinking he was just worried about the war. The last thing he needed was anyone suspecting the truth. Although he did wish he could ask Allura, or anyone really, for advice. He'd never been in this kind of situation before.

But with or without advice, Shiro wasn't the type to let a problem just sit unresolved, especially one that could affect the entire team's synergy. He was a man of action. So he'd made his decision.

__

All five Paladins emerged from their Lions' hangars, each of them carrying a small chunk of some dense mineral Coran had asked them to collect. Unfortunately, the planet they'd had to retrieve It from was home to hostile alien giants that were sitting on a practical gold mine of it.

“Remind us what this is for, again?” Pidge asked Allura who'd come down to greet them.

Something about it being necessary to reinforce the particle barrier.

“Well, I hope whatever it does is worth the trouble,” Keith complained while cracking his back.

She assured him it would be.

“I promise this material will make all the difference.”

The team handed her their collected pieces, which she cradled easily in her arms.

“I'm sorry this mission turned out so much messier than we'd expected. I'll get these to Coran. You all deserve some rest.”

“Thanks, Allura,” said Shiro on the rest's behalf, and she disappeared into an elevator ahead of them.

Lance took off his helmet and started fanning himself with his hand.

“Man, I think Blue's A/C might be broken.”

“No, I'm pretty sure you just sweat too much,” Keith chimed in as he popped off his own helmet and shook out his dark hair.

“Yeah, right! You're way sweatier than I am.”

“To be fair,” Hunk interrupted, “you're both pretty sweaty. I'd say about equal levels of...sweatiness.”

Lance turned his glare to the yellow paladin.

“You're not helping.”

“But it's true!”

Ignoring this, Shiro jogged up to Pidge who'd started to walk ahead of the others.

“Hey, Pidge, can I talk to you for a minute?”

She seemed almost startled, as if he'd just snapped her out of a daydream.

“Uh...sure”

He led her aside and she immediately started talking, much to his surprise.

“I know my reflexes were a little slow when you asked for the shield during that last battle. I promise I'll work on it. I don't want to the rest of the team in danger 'cause of me. Actually, I think I've come up with a way t-”

He cut her off before she could continue.

“What? No. Your reflexes were fine.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the other night.”

“Oh,” she said again, averting her eyes, “That. You don't have to worry, Shiro. I'm over it.”

“You say that, but...I'm not sure that's true.”

“I'm fine,” she insisted, waving a gloved hand dismissively, “I was just emotional. You know, hormones and whatnot.”

Shiro scrutinized her face, clearly unconvinced.

“I see... Either way, could you meet me in the bridge after lights-out tonight?”

She looked back over her shoulder at the other paladins, antsy to rejoin them so as to not draw suspicion. Luckily they seemed unconcerned.

“I guess so.”

“Thanks,” he said with a appreciative smile. “You're free to go. I'd just like to talk a bit more about it, if that's okay. I promise not to keep you long.”

Great. Now she had a lecture to look forward to. Sometimes he took his leadership duties a bit seriously. He wasn't their dad.

“Yeah, that's fine.” Her voice came out sharper than she meant it to, though he didn't react.

“What am I nervous about? Ah, whatever!”

“I'm gonna go get cleaned up,” she told him, then hurried off to catch up with Hunk.

When he noticed her appear, he asked, “Hey, you're not in trouble, are you?”

“Oh, nah. He just wanted to ask me something about the Green Lion.”

Shiro finally took off his own helmet and swiped at the sweat that had gathered on his forehead. Quietly, he trailed behind the others into the main hallways of the castle.

“Maybe this isn't a good idea,” he thought. “Maybe I should leave well enough alone.”

But he couldn't. He'd spent too many hours, lost too much sleep over it, over her. In his mind, he had no choice but to follow through.

–

Once he was sure everyone else had retired to their quarters, or would at least be occupied elsewhere for the next couple of hours, Shiro made his way to the bridge.

Seated on the steps to the center dais, he waited for her, illuminated by the light of the overhead crystal and the distant stars. Half of him hoped Pidge wouldn't come. It might've been better if she hadn't. But she did.

He stood abruptly to acknowledge her and was met with an uncomfortable wave. She stuffed both hands into her shorts' pockets and stepped over to the platform where she planted herself a few feet away from him.

“Let's get this over with.”

“I'll try to make this quick,” Shiro said, not bothering with small talk, “First, I just want to acknowledge that it took a lot of guts for you to tell me what you did the other day. I thought I was doing the right thing by not answering you directly, but you deserve a clear answer and you deserve my honesty.”

He paused and rubbed his palms together before continuing.

“Truthfully, I don't know how to categorize how I feel about you. What I do know is that you're someone important to me.”

He went silent and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to say something. He wasn't looking at her. Instead his eyes were closed, with one hand held up to them as if to shield them while his other arm held his waist.

Pidge twiddled with her thumbs in her lap. “Okay...” she began, but didn't have anything to say.

Where was this going?

He piped up again, and his voice had taken on an uncertainty she wasn't used to hearing from him. It made her a little uneasy.

“Did you mean what you said before...about wanting me to kiss you all this time?” he asked, and she shifted slightly in her seat.

“Well...yeah,” she shrugged, “Why would I lie about that?”

He got quiet again, but she waited it out.

“Do you...still want me to kiss you?”

Her back stiffened. “Come on,” she half-laughed, “Are you really gonna put me on the spot like that?”

“I need to know. I need your honest answer.” he said resolutely, still covering his eyes.

“Okay. Fine,” she conceded, lifting her hands in confused surrender, “Then yeah...I guess...yes. Why does it matter?”

He moved to rest his hands on his hips and settled his gaze on the crystal above them.

“Okay then,” he said matter-of-factly, as if they'd come to some sort of agreement. Pidge scrunched her eyebrows together. Was she missing something?

“Okay then what?”

His Adam's apple bobbed and he took a deep breath, bracing himself.

“While I stand by what I said before – that nothing can happen between us because of, well, the age difference, not to mention the fact that I'm your commanding officer – I also remembered what you said about how we're constantly putting our lives at risk. So, I figure if it's just a kiss, I don't see how it would hurt,” he said, his voice tapering almost to a mumble. Then he added more firmly, “But only so long as we both know that nothing more can come of it.”

Pidge's confusion morphed into annoyance.

“I told you I don't want your pity, Shiro.”

He shook his head. “I'm not,” he asserted, “That's not why. Just...I want to. If you do. So long as we agree that's all it is.”

She leaned her head back and squinted as if to get a better look at him. “Aren't you afraid I'll get attached or something?”

“I realize that is a possibility. But... I also trust you not to agree if you think that'll happen.”

There was something strange about him. Something almost frantic despite his relative composure. Pidge couldn't quite place it.

Why was he doing this? Asking if he could kiss her? What happened to the responsible adult who'd all but rejected her? Was this even Shiro? Or some kind of imposter?

So many questions flowed through her head, but she revealed none of them. She wasn't about to argue.

“You're serious,” she said under her breath. She stated the realization mostly to herself but still loud enough for him to hear.

“I'm serious.”

He didn't understand why. He only knew that he needed to fix this, needed to stop her from haunting him. And for some reason, this seemed the only way. The only way that made some kind of twisted sense...

The little logic he could wring out of it was that if he kissed her, she'd realize she didn't want him after all. That it was just a silly crush. That she only wanted him because he'd been out of reach for so long.

And more importantly, he'd know for sure he didn't want her either.

“I don't really understand,” Pidge admitted, “but this better not be a prank or I swear...”

“It's not,” he said calmly.

“Okay. Then...” There was a second of doubt, of fear... Was this really what she wanted? But she shoved the question away before she could process it. “I agree.”

“Alright then. How do you want to do this?” he asked her, then immediately backpedaled, “Wait, have you ever done this before?”

She put on a sheepish grin. “Do kisses from my dog count?”

Shiro grimaced. “Pidge, are you really sure? Your first kiss...”

“We don't have to if you don't want to! This was your idea!”

“I know, I know,” he placated, “I just...want to make sure.”

He took a seat beside her on the platform and turned towards her. She mirrored him and watched him carefully. Even seated, Shiro realized there was a height difference, so he scooted down a step lower on the stairs.

“You should probably close your eyes,” he said, and she did without protest. “I don't want you to see how awkward I am at this.” She snorted at the idea he could possibly be awkward, but said nothing.

Seeing her face so close to his, Shiro could feel his pulse quicken. He took in the sight of her long bangs almost touching her closed eyelids, the way her wavy, untamed hair framed her face, her button nose, her smooth, fair skin. He noticed the soft pink that had started to color her cheekbones. She was trusting him so easily, the way she was leaning just slightly towards him. Why did she look so... cute?

He hesitated, then reached out to hold her chin with the thumb and forefinger of his human hand. He used the other to support himself as he leaned in towards her, closing the distance between them until his lips were barely a whisper against hers.

Sensing him, it was Pidge that tipped herself forward to cross that final millimeter. It wasn't until then that Shiro realized her lips had been trembling slightly, tense, but they quickly melted into his.

Hers were warm, soft and tasted faintly of something citrus. It had been a long time, he realized, since he'd kissed anyone. A long time since he'd experienced something so intimate, yet oddly innocent. He realized he missed it.

Pidge felt herself ease into the touch. This was a kiss, a real kiss. And it felt so...effortless. She embraced the scent of him, his aftershave, and the feel of his mouth, softer than she'd expected. Men weren't supposed to feel this way, were they?

But Shiro, he felt perfect. She wanted more of him. She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him even closer, afraid to risk him pulling away before she was ready, but he did anyway.

As he withdrew and his eyes met hers, he came face to face with the mistake he'd made. He hadn't fixed anything –  he'd only made it worse.