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buckleysjareau · 4 years

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you feel like the perfect escape now

"In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness."

Eddie planning his proposal with the help of Hen and Karen. Featuring good ol' Buck and Chimney banter, soft and in love boyfriends, and tooth rotting fluff.

part two of three in my series ‘cause i’m not too far and you’re my favorite place on ao3

Eddie Diaz was never the type of guy to actually think about marriage. He’ll sound horrible saying it, but he didn’t really think about his marriage to Shannon. He loved her, he’s loved her since their third date when they were caught in the rain and instead of freaking out, she grabbed Eddie’s hand, dragged him out from the shelter and spun them around, head falling back in happy, care-free laughter. He loved her when she told him, with tears in her eyes, that she was pregnant. He loved her as she walked down the aisle with a grin on her face, carelessly happy. He loved her when she gave birth to their world.

But he never thought about it as it happened. When she’d told him she was pregnant, after he got over the initial excitement, his first thought was oh, we should probably get married now. Before that, it never occurred to him that he would ever marry Shannon, even though he loved her.

It was different with Buck.

Realizing he wants to marry Buck, not because he should but because it’s the only thing he can think of when he goes to sleep at night and when he wakes in the morning. He realizes the difference in the thought when it comes to planning his proposal to Buck and how he treated Shannon’s proposal.

He loved Shannon, but he was never in love with her. The thought sends an uncomfortable amount of guilt through him, but he hears Buck’s voice in his ear saying, you can’t help who you fall in love with.

Not exactly what he meant when he said it but it helped Eddie shake a lot of the guilt.

He was wholeheartedly, one-hundred percent, completely, utterly and stupidly in love with Evan Buckley.

The second it struck him how much he not just wanted, but needed to marry Buck, he couldn’t wait a second longer to start planning it.

The first thing he has to do before he even starts planning anything, though, is ask Christopher if he would be okay with him marrying Buck. He knows his kid loved Buck more than life, but sometimes he’s scared that Chris will think that if he marries him, he’ll be replacing Shannon.

When it happens that Buck and his schedules don’t line up, he takes Christopher to lunch at his favorite place and asks.

“Christopher, can I ask you a really important question?”

He giggles when his son looks up from his triple chocolate pancakes with whipped cream and chocolate already covering his mouth. “What is it, dad?”

“Abuela’s gonna kill me for letting you order all of this sugar.” He shakes his head as he smiles before he clears his throat. “You know how before Buck and I got together, I asked what you’d think about it?”

“I said I loved my Buck and got really excited.”

“That’s right! Well, Christopher, how would you feel if I asked your Buck to marry me?”

Chris’ smile grows immediately. “You’re gonna marry Bucky?”

“If that’s alright with you.” He smirks.

“Yes! Yes!”

His heart soars. He was really going to ask Evan Buckley to marry him.

After he texts Hen for her help and the twenty texts he receives of her freaking out in the language of keyboard smash, he tries to plan it. Keyword: tries.

From Hen;

Alright, alright diaz-buckley, how do you plan to do this

To Hen;

I have no clue!!! That’s why i asked for your help to research and what not. I’m not Buck, i’m not good at research or whatever

Also

*future diaz-buckley, we’re not married YET

From Hen;

boy... you’re in love in love huh

Your boy is sitting right across from me

*photo attachment*

What’s he smiling at eddie?

To Hen;

Probably dog videos

Now helllllppppppppppppp

From Hen;

You were right. A golden retriever looking at videos of golden retrievers

Patient, diaz!

Got a call, we’ll talk later

To Hen;

Tell buck to be careful!

You too obviously

bu t you know what I mean

He doesn’t know why he thought he could get anything done regarding the proposal through text. That’s how Hen and him were, they had never been able to stay on one conversation at a time when texting. There was one time when Hen had asked him for a recipe Buck wouldn’t give her, followed by a text about a playdate with Denny, and a text asking his high score in Candy Crush. He responded to say he’d ask him and send it and continued the conversation. Talk of playdates turned into talks of weirdest calls, talk of high scores in Candy Crush turned to talk of modern technology and so on. By the time Hen stopped responding, presumably because Karen got home, Eddie realized he’d never given her the recipe.

It was different in person, they could sit for hours and talk about the same thing. He cherishes any conversation with Hen, though. He cherishes their friendship so much. Next to Buck, Hen was his best friend.

That’s why he couldn’t think to ask anyone better to help him plan the next step in his life with the man that he loves.

From Hen;

Heads up, your boys in a sour mood

Dont worry though because ik you are!

Im sure a nice cuddle from his soon to be fiance will do the trick

To Hen;

Why shouldnt I worry? An hour ago you sent me pic of him smiling

Now hes in a bad mood? Something happened

Hennnnnnnnn tell me what happppppennnnnneddddd

What was the call

im bored and worried

From Buck;

Can I stay the night? Ill bring wine and chinese <22222

<4444

To Buck;

You okay there babe? Haha

You never have to ask

Or bribe me with food and alcohol

But i will accept it <3

From Buck;

You know i hate texting don’t judge me!

See you in 10 love love love you <3

Eddie’s worried. Buck practically lived at the Diaz’s, he never had to ask to stay the night and he knew that. All Hen had sent back was the shrug emoji so he was on his own to figure out why.

As promised, Buck walks in ten minutes later with two bags of chinese food and a bottle of white wine. He seemed tense, but when he sees Eddie in his presence, he can automatically see his whole body relax.

“I hate when we’re not on shift together.” Buck says in lieu of a greeting. He places the wine and food on the coffee table in front of them before he plops down next to Eddie.

He leans into Eddie’s touch, instantly lying his head on Eddie’s chest and closes his eyes.

Eddie smiles down at his boyfriend, automatically moving to run a hand through his curls, wrapping the other arm around Buck’s chest. “Me too. I missed you today. So did Chris.”

“I missed you both like crazy today. I can’t wait to just cuddle up to you and fall asleep.” He mumbles. “You’re my world.”

Even after all of this time, Buck can still make Eddie blush like it’s nothing.

He presses his lips to Buck’s forehead. “And you’re mine.”

It stays quiet after that until Eddie’s stomach growls, startling Buck into sitting upright in laughter.

“I think it’s time to eat, huh?”

“You’d be right.”

Buck gets up and gets two wine glasses from the kitchen. The way in which Buck walks so comfortably around his home will never fail to bring a kaleidoscope of butterflies to his stomach. He knows where everything is and he knows how everything works and it feels empty when he’s not there.

Eddie turns on the TV and picks a random station that’s playing reruns of a cop show he’d seen here and there. Eddie and Buck’s legs are interlaced and resting on the coffee table, food in their laps when things settle. The ease on Buck’s face makes him wonder why he was even worried in the first place.

They don’t talk as they eat their food and sip their wine. They just take in each other’s company as they watch what’s on in front of them, perfectly content in just being together.

Buck’s phone rings from the coffee table. When he lets it ring through to voicemail without even looking at ID, Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you the one who said you should answer every phone call because it might be important? Or are you just a clone of my boyfriend?”

Buck snorts. “I know it’s not important.”

It starts to ring again and Eddie sees Maddie’s name flash on the screen. “It sounds important.”

“I promise you it’s not.”

Then she calls a third time and Buck groans. “Fine, fine. I’ll answer.”

He doesn’t leave the room, doesn’t make any effort to grab his phone, just sits back and pouts as Eddie hands him his phone.

He listens to Buck’s side of the conversation closely. He’s talking about not wanting to go somewhere because he doesn’t know if someone is going to be at that place and he doesn’t want to risk it. Hm.

“I was having a nice, relaxing night with Eddie before you called about something you knew the answer to, so if you’ll excuse me, I’d love to get back to that.” He throws his phone onto his lap after he hangs up, then smiles sheepishly. “Any chance you can ignore that?”

“If you don’t want to talk about it right now, that’s perfectly okay. But we do have to talk about it eventually. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you snap at Maddie, so something must have happened.”

Buck cuddles back into Eddie’s chest, revelling in his arm comfortably wrapped around his shoulders. “It’s really not a big deal, Eds. It’s just stupid.”

“Well, lucky for you, I like hearing everything you have to say. Even if it’s stupid.”

“Did you just boop my nose?”

“And what about it?”

All Eddie feels is the shaking from Buck’s giggling. “Shit, whoever decided I was good enough to have you in my life is someone I’d like to meet because...man, I love you.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Eddie smirks.

Buck hides his face in the nook of his neck. “Stop making me blush.”

“Never.”

It’s quiet again after that until Buck finally talks. “So, uh…”

“Yeah?”

“I got a wedding invitation in the mail today. It’s from my cousin, she’s getting married in Los Angeles so she invited Maddie and me. We get along just fine, always have, but I haven’t talked to her in a few years and now Maddie thinks it’s completely necessary to actually go to her wedding. I just don't know if I want to risk going and have them be there as well, you know?”

“Your parents?”

“Who else?”

“Well think about it this way. If the risk of seeing your parents again was out of the equation, would you want to go?”

Buck sighs. “Of course I would. It’d be nice to see her again and have a good time, but Eds… you know how my parents are.”

It’s true, he did know how his parents were. He remembers when they’d come to Los Angeles when they found out their first grandchild had been born. He remembers how tense Buck had been the entire time, how he let his parents walk all over him and tell him how big of a failure he was like it was a normal day to day conversation. He especially remembers yelling at Buck’s father after a particularly barbaric comment on Buck’s lifestyle.

He knows why he’d want to avoid his parents, because Eddie would too.

“Can you bring a plus one?”

“What?”

“Can you bring a plus one to the wedding?” He smiles when Buck nods. “Take me. If your parents are there, I’ll have your back. Plus, your cousin seems nice, I’d love to meet the family that’s not pretentious.”

Buck choked on the wine he’d taken a sip of. “You think Maddie’s pretentious?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely pretentious.” He jokes. “I mean your extended family. You’ve met mine.”

Buck sighs. “Whatever. I guess we’re going to a Buckley wedding. I really did want to see McKenna so you win.”

“I always do.” He grins before he connects his lips with Buck’s and giggles against it when his fingers press against the only ticklish part of his body.

“What? Did that tickle?” Buck gasps. “You said you weren’t ticklish!”

“I’m not!”

“Mhm.”

Then suddenly, the wedding worries were long forgotten, tickle war long taking its place.

“Oooooooh, so you’re going to a wedding with him, huh?” Hen wiggles her eyebrows from where she stands across her kitchen. “That’s gonna be you one day.”

Eddie sighs exasperatedly. “Not if I have nothing planned. I wanna make this special, okay?”

Hen’s face softens. “Anything you do to propose will make it special, honey. You’re Buck’s world, a simple Marry me? would be the most romantic thing in the world to him.”

“Maybe so, but that’s how it was with Shannon. She was pregnant with Christopher so I thought the next logical step would be marriage, but this is different. Buck is different.”

“Alright, alright, let’s get to work, then.” She opens her laptop. “What are some of your favorite things about him?”

Eddie’s face erupts into a look of pure adoration at that question. “Oh, Henrietta, you have no idea what you just got yourself into, asking that. What are some of my favorite things about Evan Buckley? Let’s see… When he wakes up in the morning, he makes this cute little noise when he stretches and it makes my heart fill with joy. He loves Christopher like he’s his own and he never treats him differently. He just has so much knowledge about literally anything. Random facts upon random facts are stored in that beautiful brain of his and whenever he tells me one of these random facts, it’s suddenly the most important thing in the world. He’s so selfless, you know this. When we got together and I still wasn’t sure about being open about my sexuality, he put my fears above his own fear of telling you guys. He’s an amazing cook, so amazing I have a hard time believing that before he joined the one-eighteen the only thing he could cook was ramen. Even if he could still only cook ramen, I’d still love him, we’d just be living off of frozen food. I love the little family we’ve got going on now. I can go on for hours, but I won’t. Any of that help?”

By the time he was done, Karen was home and trying her hardest not to tease the lovesick man.

“Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad.” Karen giggles. “Buck has it just bad, though.”

Hen clears her throat. “What’s something that’s specific to you and Buck? Christopher, too. You can always propose that way. Doing something and it’ll just come completely unexpected?”

The metaphorical light bulb over Eddie’s head flashes on. “I have it!”

It’s a Friday morning at the firehouse and Eddie finds himself next to Hen, looking over her shoulder as she helps him navigate what needs to be done to propose.

His eyes travel up to meet his boyfriend’s as he walks up the stairs, and even though his smile is bright as he sees him, there’s bags under his eyes. The second his eyes land on Chimney though, he deflates and rolls his eyes. Chimney has a smug look and Eddie knows he definitely missed something.

“You can’t avoid me forever, Buckaroo.”

Buck looks over to Hen and Eddie, making an exaggerated face of confusion.

“Did you guys hear something?”

Bobby laughs from where he’s at in the kitchen, Hen snorts, and Eddie is grinning, looking between the soon to be brother in laws.

“How mature of you, Evan.” Chimney rolls his eyes. “I just wanna talk about the wedding next week and he keeps rolling his eyes and running away. Eddie, make him stop.”

Buck scoffs. “You’re sitting here whining and you’re calling me the immature one.”

“I wouldn’t be whining if you just talk to me for once. I just want more information, who I’m gonna meet, if your parents are coming, c’mon give me something.”

“Alright.” Buck smirks. “For good luck, Egyptian women pinch the bride before the wedding.”

Chimney groans. “What?”

“Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth fingers of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger leads directly to the heart.”

“That’s beautiful, but I wanna talk about the wedding next week.” Chimney whines.

Eddie is torn between wanting to laugh and being worried about his boyfriend. It’s obvious Chim doesn’t know that this is Buck’s classic mode of deflection, and Buck seems to know this. Eddie can tell Buck is just beginning, too.

“Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States.”

“Maddie says you would know more about the family that’s going to the wedding, so why won’t you just tell me?”

“Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the veil protected the bride from evil spirits. Brides have worn them ever since.”

Chimney turns to Eddie and Hen, arms out in exasperation, desperate. “Eddie!”

Eddie shrugs his shoulder. “If he doesn’t wanna talk about the wedding, don’t make him talk about the wedding. I’m not gonna make my f- my boyfriend do something he doesn’t want to do.”

Buck’s too distracted in his minds’ files of facts on weddings to tell Chimney to hear him almost slip up, but Chimney’s got his eyebrow raised and he hears Hen snicker under her breath, nice one.

Chimney eyes him suspiciously for a moment before he goes back to the problem at hand. “Maddie doesn’t know her cousin all that well, she’s more around Buck’s age, I just want to know what I should expect because I know how the Buckley’s are. Why can’t you just tell me something, man?”

“The most expensive wedding was Sheik Rashad Bin Al Maktoum’s son’s marriage to Princess Salama in Dubai in 1981. It was forty-four million dollars.”

“What about your cousin’s wedding?”

“In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.”

Before Chimney can ask once more, Eddie cuts in again. “He hasn’t seen anyone in his family in years, why would he know who’s going?”

“Thank you!” Buck sighs and drops next to Eddie, who shuts his laptop so fast it probably would have broken the screen. “I have plenty of more facts about weddings if you want to keep talking about the wedding, though.”

Chimney hears the message it is and sighs. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like talking about your family. I’m just feeling a little anxious here, ya know?”

Buck sighs. “Me too, Chim. But if it helps you any, McKenna is not at all as pretentious and callous as my parents. That’s all I can and want to tell you about though, so please… Let it go.”

Hen reaches over and places her hand on Buck’s in an attempt of comfort before her soft smile turns to a smirk. “So Buckaroo, why do you know so much about weddings?”

Eddie’s eyes go comically wide.

“A little late night reading.” He shrugs.

“Hm.” She turns to Eddie with a smirk when Bobby calls Buck over to help.

Eddie groans softly, resting his head on the cold wood of the dining table. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Three days later, Eddie finds himself at a jewelry shop on Wilshire with Hen and Karen.

“I feel like all of these rings look the same.” He whines.

“You’ve looked at four rings and this store is huge.” Hen rolls her eyes. “You’ll know when you’ve found the right ring, okay?”

“Will I?”

Karen snorts. “Yes, you will. Trust me, I went through this same thing when I was proposing to Hen. You’ll just know.”

So Eddie keeps looking. He’s completely indecisive as if it’s him that’s going to be wearing the ring, because Buck definitely wouldn’t care about a fancy ring or any ring at all, but Eddie needs it to be special.

“How about this?” Karen calls from the other end of the store. When Eddie reaches her, she’s pointing at a black band, definitely something he can automatically picture on Buck’s hand. It still didn’t feel right to him, though. He says as much to Karen before he starts searching the glass case in front of them for more.

He gasps as soon as he sees it. Hen was right about just knowing.

He calls over the jeweler and asks to see it. The second he’s holding it in between his fingers, he can see himself getting down on one knee. He can see it on Buck’s ring finger, shining brightly to everyone Buck proudly shows it to. It’s definitely the ring.

“This is it.” He grins, looking side to side at the women standing next to him and then smiles at the jeweler.

Karen and Hen squeal loudly. “What is it about this ring, Diaz-Buckley?”

“In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.”

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #soft eddie diaz #eddie diaz is in love #hen wilson #karen wilson #howie chimney han #911 fox #buddie fic #my fics

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bones-imagines · 6 years

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A Bunch of things about HG Wells from Poe’s Party

Hes so anxious when he opens the door and explaining the microwave and he just wants everyone to believe in him hes so GOOD

He butnt his bread but he tried his best and hes working hard so its okay

Hes uncomfortable at the table and he just looks so lost

And he uses a magnifying glass to read his character card god hes adorable

Hes so respective he always is lookijg at whoevers talking

But hes super quiet and onservant at first

Hes so anxious about the new person sitting next to him too aaa

Then when eddie dies hes really confused

So he puts his face in the soup because he wants to fit in!! He just wants to be a good boy

He takes forever cleaning his face

And then when everyone think its the soup he gets scared because hE PUT HIS FACE IN IT WHAT A BOY

Nd then when theyre like oh shit eddies really dead hes so scared he almost falls out of his chair

I want to guve him a hug here hes so spooked

Hes so uncomfortable in the beginning nooo my boy

And hes short so when hes behind everyone hes gotta try to look through their shoulders and stuff

He doesnt know who to look at the dead body or people talking

But hes so spooked by this stuff

And then hes thinking you can really tell that hes got ideas going on

And hes preparing himself to speak

And when he does he talks so soft and hes trying to be careful with his words

And he kinda smiles over to ernest

And hes thinking about the note really hard

When ernest insults him he gets sad!!

But hes really still quiet and hes trying hard to think sbout whats happening

He is not pleased with the dungon theyre bringing the bodies to hes scared

HG is so out of his element like the whole time

When ge raises his hand hes so like!! He wants to take the notes!! He really does

And hes so good at it!! Look at that he did it

And when everyone turns to him hes scared

But its what he does best! Take notes and solved things

Because hey that is how inventors work

Which also means hes getting more comfortable

Which is why he starts speaking a little louder!

And he really knows they shouldnt leave so he talks even louder when mary suggests it

When ernest starts accusing him hes so scared because of course he wouldnt do that!! Look at him he doesnt know anyone and hes scared

#poes party #edgar allan poes murder myster party #hg wells #H.G. Wells #hg wells poes party #HG Wells poes party #edgar allan poes dinner party

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gruxa · 4 years

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The story of how me and my friends killed a murder clown (and how the love of my life almost died in the process) aka I saw this show in the deadlights.

"This isn't your typical trashmouth tozier stand up. bullshit, tonight we get real. Good evening New York, I'm glad you could all join me in this stuffy fucking theatre for the next 2 hours, now strap in a let me tell you a tale"

The audience clapped as Richie took the mic from the stand and put his glass of water on one of the two stools positioned at the front of the stage "probably gonna knock this shit off" he muttered into the microphone, warning his first laugh of the evening.

He moved away from the stools and rolled up his sleeves before addressing the audience.

"When I was a kid, I had a group of friends that I completely forgot about. Doesn't sound that unusual right? lots of people forget friends they knew when they were young, " The audience murmured in agreement

"but I wasn't young young, I'm not talking five years old, I was 16 when I left my hometown. For almost 25 years I couldn't remember that portion of my life at all and it didn't even phase me. I didn't event realize. I know what you're thinking, Oh Richie? How much did you drink and smoke in college to forget all that?" A laugh came from the audience.

"The answer is, I didn't even go to college. I just did those things because of depression" He paused for a beat and pretended to hit badum tss on imaginary drums as the audience laughed, he would never understand why joking about his mental health was funny but he worked with it.

"Anyway, so you're probably wondering why it looks like Panic At The Disco wrote my show title tonight. " More laughter, it was going well so far. "Well it's because I literally couldn't think of a shorter way to write a summary of the serial-killer-demon-child-eating garbage that was the summer of '89, and by extension a few holiday days in July last year" He continued through the laughter.

"You think I'm kidding? There's 5 people in the audience right now that'll back me up" He pointed in a general direction "Kidding I got no clue where those fuckers are. Probably off doing rich people things. One of them is here though and he's backstage so, " Richie shrugged "I got that at least. Maybe I do have the other 4 out there somewhere, I don't fucking look at every ticket holders name." More laughter.

"I probably shouldnt be telling this story on an international streaming service, my old manager told me as much whilst I fired him, but the clowns dead so" Richie took a sip of his glass "whats really out there to stop me?" The audience laughed.

"Before I continue this story, I'm aware you're all going to sit in your seat and think that this is all bullshit, you're within your rights, but you'll be wrong."

"So you've all heard the name Trashmouth? it's me, it's my moniker. It's on your fucking tickets." He grinned "Now what would your reaction be if I told you up until last year I have no idea how I got that name? I sorta just figured it was something imposed onto me when I did stand-up in college bars, figured some shithead student called me it and it stuck, but no, turns out I forgot my best friends. What's this all got to do with a murder clown? a lot. We'll get there, I know that's what you're here for." More laughter. He didn't really feel like he was being funny but he rolled with it.

"Some of you might be here for the love of my life part of the story. God the tabloids when the title of my show was revealed was insane, suddenly I was all TMZ cared about. A fucking old as balls comedian." He laughed "Richie Tozier has a girlfriend? Is The Trashmouth Married?! Is the Girlfriend that's referenced in lots of hiswork real?' Does Richie Tozier have a love child?'"

He sipped more water, his throat starting to feel like rocks. "My life got a little more interesting after that." He paced the stage "Bet a lot of you remember my last show, even if you weren't there you probably heard about it."'Richie Tozier goes all Pitch Perfect on stage' I threw up. A lot. The murder clown had a lot to do with that but were not quite there yet." A small laugh and groaning came from the audience, Richie ignored it all

"Anyway, I was telling a joke before all that happened about masturbating to my girlfriends best friends Facebook or something bullshit along those lines" Another drink of water. Rocks still in his throat. "I didn't write my own jokes. Never did. Well I did back in High-school and my pseudo-college years, but as soon as I got a manager and by extension a 'creative team' my creativity got swept under the rug. Which is why I dropped them after the whole clown thing"

"Back to that joke, it was all bullshit. My girlfriend doesn't even have any friends" The audience laughed loud at that one "Matter of fact she doesn't exist" More booming laughter

"'oh but Ritchie of she doesn't exist how did she nearly die?' I hear you cry, well no I don't actually, you don't seem into this at all" He scanned the audience as they laughed more

"I'll let you work it out for yourself" He winked.

"So. Let me take you on a journey, it was the summer of '89, I was 13 and only recently discovered the joy of touching myself and the absolute amazing feeling of using the words Fuck and Shit in every sentance, I also fell head over heels in love, not that I had any fucking clue what love was or why I was feeling it, but I knew I felt it enough to do cliché bullshit like carve our initials onto the kissing bridge

Which to this day is probably still where teenagers went to get their rocks off, I'm sure every small town in Maine has somewhere like that." The audience laughed more "So me and a group of 3 friends were inseperable, we were also fucking losers. Bottom of the pecking order losers. We had Bill with a fucking st-st-stutter, Stan the Rabbis son, Eddie the hypochondriac with a muchausens by proxy mom to boot, and then me. I was definitely the coolest of the bunch. My glasses and choice of weak-ass bully fodder friends was what put me at the bottom."

The audience erupted in laughter "We didn't let that hold us down though. We were the Losers Club and we were proud. Still are" he kissed his palm and blew it into the audience "In case ant of those rich fuckers got the invite that's for them"

"So picture this, 4 lanky boys, mercilessly bullied, about to have a great summer, or so we thought. You see my friends brother went missing" The audience went from laughing to silence in a matter of moments. "He was 8, a lot of kids went missing that summer. This is where the story gets less funny and more horrifying"

Richie perched on his stool and adjusted the mic back into its stand. "Bill, my friend, was obsessed with trying to find Georgie, even though eight months had passed since his disappearance. He was convinced he was alive. The week school ended another girl went missing, Betty. We found her shoe in the sewers a few days later. " Richie cracked his knuckles against his thigh

"Now this is where I'm probably going to lose you, lord knows if I was you I'd lose me too" He took a beat and looked to the side of the stage, it was too dark to see but he was sure Eddie was there.

"We met another 2 boys that summer, and a girl. We were a group of Seven, and if you can guess they weren't popular either. Ben was the fat new kid, Mike was the homeschooled black kid who lived on the outskirts of town, and Bev was the whore of the school, well not really but that was her label. We were Seven. The Losers Club. Thanks to the clown there's only 6 of us left now."

"We did what any group of 13-14 year old would do with an 80s summer, swim in a quarry, sneak into R rated movies, go to the arcade, stealing medical supllies from the pharmacy whilst Bev, who was 14 at the time, flirted with the 50 year old creep of a clerk to distract him because our town literally bread a serial killers who carved his initial into Ben's stomach, usual kid stuff" He took a breath after shooting that last part out fast. "Oh, and fought an evil killer clown who was murdering kids"

Richie went on to describe in abridged detail the events of that first summer, only really leaving out the extraterrestrial shape shifting parts, filling up an hour of the show.

"I would say you can a source check this, but something happens when you leave that town which makes you forget, which I know sounds like bullshit, but I forgot the first 16 years of my life when I left, and Bill forgot about his dead brother." Richie took a long drink of his water "i mean if you go to the towns library you'll find the records of the missing kids, and their bodies washing up in the sewers, and if you looked hard enough into the towns history you'd find the clown, but that would mean you'd have to find out what town I'm talking about, and even though Ben was the new kid, I'm starting to believe that the town can't be found by new people easily. "

So, show of hands as to how many of you have I lost?" he scanned the crowd as they shuffled.

"This is absolutely bullshit, put your arms down I can't see shit with these lights on me"

"Anyway I guess I'll start telling you about the love of my pathetic life and how they almost died last year"

The Theatre filled with clapping

"It started with a fucking fence post. A fence bost bev found 28 fucking years ago and somehow found again last June"

The audience erupted in cheering, as expected they assumed bev was the love of his life

"It kills monsters, if you believe it does." Richie stood up and paced the stage "That fucking.. That fucking mantra ended with a fucking giant gaping wound in the chest of the person I love"

He sat back down and dangled his legs over the stage "they survived, they all survived apart from Stanley who didn't even make it back to the cistern. See he was the only fucking sane one, sure we're all alive and we stopped a serial killer who tormented out childhood town, but Stanley knew he wouldn't have been able to. So he killed himself"

Silence

"Not funny? right?" richie pulled at a thread on his shirt "I'll miss him forever, even though I forgot about him for 25 years."

"Anyway, gaping wound." Richie coughed "I was holding my jacket against it and we finally conquered the serial killer, but we ran BAKC and... they were dead, or so we thought"

"I should probably tell you, officially who They is. A lot of you probably have your theories, I'd say 99% of you are wrong."

Richie took a deep breath

"He was dead. Edward Kaspbrak, one of my best friends growing up, my first crush, and the love of my life, was dead"

The Theatre was full of whispers

"Not for long though, Bev managed to get him back, and we pulled him out of there"

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chamaelhyun · 7 years

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so i just finished reading stephen king’s it...

... and i have too much feelings for it i think i have to write everything down, more for myself than for anything else lmao

first and foremost, bill loves georgie so much just thinking about them makes me so fucking soft??? and georgie kissing him on his cheek that day legit brought tears to my eyes knowing what’s gonna happen to him

also, stanley did not take that fucking bath i refuse to believe it no sir

“it was easier to be brave when you were someone else” - richie tozier

eddie my dear boy why would you marry your mother smh

ben loves beverly so much okay!!!!

i feel like bill and eddie’s friendship is so underrated so let me just put it right here -- bill thinks of eddie as his only real friend prior to everything that happened that summer and eddie "would have died for bill", if bill had asked him he would have just responded: “sure, big bill.. you got a time in mind yet?”

"..richie’s mouth was like a half-tamed horse that has a way of bolting for absolutely no reason at all” uhHHH IF THIS AINT THE TRUEST THING LMAO

“maybe sometimes things didn’t just go wrong and then stop; maybe sometimes they just kept going wronger and wronger until everything was totally fucked up”

“HE HAD HATED IT WHEN RICHIE CALLED HIM EDS... BUT HE HAD SORT OF LIKED IT, TOO” OKAYYYYYYY

eddie loves bill like a big brother or a father if this isnt the purest thing ever im crying

RICHIE LIKES PINCHING EDDIE’S CHEEKS OKAY DO NOT TOUCH ME “i hate it when you do that, richie” “ah, you love it, eds”

i’m such a trash but richie!!! winking!!! at!!! eddie!!!

uhh richie telling eddie about his ambition when they were hanging out in eddie’s garage??? good shit right here

from eddie’s pov -- richie has an “enchanting, often exhausting charm” okay

the savage bill that usually comes out when richie is being such a little shit, i love it!! “best part of you ran down your father’s leg” kids pls lmao

UGHH I’M SUCH A REDDIE TRASH BUT RICHIE??? PINCHING EDDIE’S CHEEKS??? WHILE COOING “CUTE, CUTE, CUTE”???? sign me the fuck up

stan “i think that must have been my father” the man

“it was just richie. he could drive you bugshit.. but it was still sort of nice to have him around” oh eddie spaghetti

isn’t it adorable how whenever richie says something which eddie thinks is bullshit but he isnt really sure is bullshit, he just turns to bill for confirmation??? “is there such a thing as a sift bill”

“you know about fucking, don’t you, eds?” uhhh richie dont corrupt my innocent little son like this??? (tho of course my son is well aware thanks to this taliendo boy?? whoever he is??)

uh ben is such a genius??? youngest architect y’all. this. my son. right here.

that time when they were caught by mr. nell building the dam and everybody -- even richie himself -- was like, “shut the fuck up richie gdi!!!” and stan was holding on to richie’s arm ready to squeeze him hard if he starts being a little shit it’s like one of my faves of them idek why it’s just so funny to me??

also, richie is such a trash for bill istg??? “..maybe just seeing bill’s eyes light up with their own excitement was enough” ???

ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE RICHIE MOMENTS (and there’s a lot considering he’s my fave loser) -- him making bill feel better and less guilty about georgie’s death and then comforting bill, tho awkwardly, when the latter started crying

uh idk if i maybe missed it in the book or in the movie but why is almost the entire fandom saying that his parents dont give a shit about richie?? cause i think out of all the losers, his parents are fairly regular (bill said so himself) he even gets to joke around with them?? and from richie’s pov: “he could read both of his parents like books -- well-worn and well-loved books” so im really kinda confused??

“they’ll pinch my cheeks and tell me how much i’ve grown” “that’s cause they know how cute you are, eds -- just like me. i saw what a cutie you were the first time i met you” uhh richie how many times are you gonna call eddie cute?? well i dont really blame you, my son is a reaal cutie

also!!!! bev and richie’s frienship??? hello why was it not in the movie????? cigarette buddies??? my badass babies???

richie: “likes bev a lot. well, he likes her, but not that way.’

also richie: *blushes and flustered when bev teased him if he was asking her out on a date*

ben not believing himself when he told richie to shut up, oh child you have all the right in the world to make him shut up lmao

bill and richie are like two of the bravest losers but after escaping the werefolf from the neibolt house they both just hugged each other and cried and oh my god my poor sons they do not deserve any of this theyre just kids ffs

uhhh beverly on the plane on the way back to derry was just a mess who couldnt stop laughing and just?? if i could smack tom rogan i would gladly do so and her father too for good measure

ben and bev and eddie just hysterically laughing is my aesthetic my kids deserve all the happiness in the world pls

ben always stands up for bev he’s so sweet?? he doesnt even care much what others say to him as long as they arent disrespecting bev and i just????

my pure innocent eddie not understanding why bev isnt allowed to have boys into the house when there inst anyone else there oh boy so precious

what’s worse than frightening stan uris? offending him, that’s right

the losers have forgotten about each other for more than twenty years but when they remembered and met up again its like nothing has changed at all????

uhh richie trying to calm eddie down but the latter just rounded on him telling him not to call him eds!!! and not to pinch his cheeks!!! cause he hates it!!! and richie recoiled and just?? my heart hurts

BEEP-BEEP RICHIE

“i wish stan was here” you and me both mikey

“she wouldve died for him” why are they all willing to die for bill oh god these kids

“he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts”

dafuq richie is really so funny istg??? im not playing favorites with my kids here but he’s so funny?? his voices are so funny i hate him lmao

The Apocalyptic Rockfight (need i say more?????)

excuse me but richie (and bev) taking care of eddie after said rockfight

bill is like the president of the losers club and richie is his right hand man am i right or amirite

I JUST LOVE HOW THESE LOSERS KEEP SAYING THEY LOVE EACH OTHER??? they’re so vocal about it and just??? idc if they were, like, brought together by this turtle to fight it,, their friendship is one of a kind and they deserve all the best thinsg in life

“stan did not have much sense of humor, and the bit he did have was sort of peculiar” UHH I SHOULDNT BE LAUGHING THIS HARD

“i don’t call you dick, as in ‘you got any gum on ya, dick?’“ OHH EDDIE STRIKES BACK YES

uhm excuse the fuck outta me but richie called eddie “my love” do not fucking touch me

“the losers are still losing, but stanley uris is finally ahead” uhhh fuck you pennywise???

I JUST LOVE IT WHEN THE LOSERS ARE BEING KIDS AND JUST PLAYING AROUND TOGETHER HAPPILY this is how it shouldve been anyways they should all just be happy and protected

stan catching the losers’ crazy yup

BEVERLY MARSH IS BADASS WHO DONT NEED PROTECTING JUST BECAUSE SHES A GIRL YOU TELL THEM LOSERS, HON

richie being so proud of them, of his friends?? losers or not losers?? he;s just proud that theyre all together?? im so soft

"he shouldnt be down here” - richie when he heard eddie coughing when they were in the smokehole im such a reddie trash i feel like i notice every little thing between them lol

bill is eddie’s hero it’s canon

EDDIE MY BOY STANDING UP TO HIS MOTHER YOU GO SON

uhh when the losers visited eddie in the hospital and not even richie was smiling uhh why dont you just step on my heart???

“no good friends. no bad friend. only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.”

"it hurts, doesn’t it?” “yeah, why, sure. it hurts.” RICHIE CRYING CAUSE OF STAN SOMEBODY HOLD ME

richie asking for eddie’s aspirator and the others doing the same before they entered the house on neibolt street

UHH EDDIE IS LIKE THE LITERAL BABY OF THE LOSERS DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS he’s often called cute (by richie of course) and often described as fragile, vulnerable and beautiful. and also,ticklish. so yup. a baby. The Baby.

“sure i can. i was alone last time. this time i’m with my friends.” SEE AN ACTUAL BABY THAT MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

“anyone who tries to steal your aspirator, we kill him. but we kill him slow.” oh richie just say outright that youll protect the baby itsokay son say it

“hey eddie needs help okay?” richie making sure the baby is properly assisted by the losers (ok im such a trash really, sue me)

stan,,,,, makes me so sad istg yes he’s like the weakest among the losers in some ways but he was brave enough to go with them that summer okay and that says so much about my poor baby!! “i don’t have anything” YOU HAVE YOUR FRIEMNDS SON PLS DONT HURT ME LIKE THIS

IT IS SCARED OF THESE SEVEN KIDS HA

uhh can i just say,, i love all my children,,, but no to cheating pls????

these kids are such,,, kids lmao that part where eddie wanted a lick on richie’s ice cream (i think) and richie’s like no??? germs??? sharing??? your mom wouldnt like it?? then began to eat faster and eddie’s just like, i’ll chance it. so richie reluctantly let him have a taste but snatched it away quick lmao then stan offered his to eddie

“she says henrys gone crazy” “shit you mean he used to be sane??” richie istg

baby eddie!!!!! richie’s like no eds youre not going your arm is still broken and bill’s like he has to so walk with me eddie ill keep an eye on you (and protect you and carry you on my back and)

that moment when eddie called the others fucking pussies cause he’s doing that mashed potatoes all over it and he’s got a broken arm!!!!! ahhh i love this kid so much?????

and then after when the eye is gone and richie is mimicking eddie and was like “not too shabby, eds” and eddie was all “i hate it when you call me eds” and richie just goes i know and HUGGED EDDIE and says, “but somebody has to toughen you up, eds...” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH?????

FUCKKKKKK it’s the part when my kid’s arm got cut off and my heart just hurts so fucking much????? he doesnt deseve this?? none of them does????

‘richie was weaving and tumbling toward him like a drunk at the end of a long hard night’ “--eds--” STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DONT YOU

“richie, don’t call me eds. you know i..i...” FUCK YOU ALL I HATE YOU ALL

uhhh lets not talk about that thing that happened so they could get out of there im still so fukcing disturbed???

“son, you did real good” i wouldve smacked this turtle thing or whatever had i been a loser,,, i mean???

“we gotta get him out of here” “it’s too dark, you know.. it’s too dark. eds.. he.” RICHIE MY POOR BOY MY SON MY MOST PRECIOUS SOBBING OVER HIS BELOVED

“fuck you, bitch!!!”

ben and beverly yes its what they both deserve

“even if we forget each other, we’ll remember in our dreams”

mike went through so much,,, i mean he was the only one who stayed in derry and looked into all that happened there beginning from god knows when. he was scared as fuck when the killings started again but he put off calling the others cause he wanted to be absolutely sure it is back before he disrupts the other losers’ lives??? he wasnt envious whatsoever of the success of the other losers even though the difference between him and them is so fucking vast?? he accepted it -- that he stayed in derry for a reason and that is to call the others back to finally end it hwen it comes back. he has done all these and more. let us not sleep on him. my boy deserves all the love and recognition he deserves.

YOU KNOW WHAT FUCKS ME UP SO MUCH IT’S NOT JUST THE DEATHS OF MY KIDS it’s the fact that after everything theyve gone through together, they forgot about each other in the end

but maybe it was better for them too. to not think about the nightmares. to not think about the lives lost. but is forgetting really better than not knowing at all?

they went thorugh so much together and in the end they’ll forget

maybe cause as richie said, “nothing lasts forever”

#books what have you done with my feelings #wrote this entire thing down entirely for my own benefit so that i wouldnt forget #like these kids theyvre forgotten #but no really cause i tend to forget details of what ive read after a long time and i dont want to forget how much i love these kids #i think this turned out to be more of a reddie post but i just coulnt help it lmao i love these kids so much????#anyway #stephen king's it

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viralhottopics · 8 years

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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.