#richie almost like normal even though hes still clinging onto him and sitting in his lap his eyes flick over to the paper and richie about

[allthatdivides2]

my brain telling me to go back to reading reddie fic 24/7 by making me dream about them last night

[occasionaloneshots]

Childhood Losers Club Headcanons

I am normally mean, in some regard in my It stuff, so I don’t think this is mean? Anyway, I have a bunch of random little kid headcanons for the losers and so here you go.  (Before they got the horrible cards of Pennywise) 

Bill’s parents got a stuffed puppy  for him when he was born and it was simply too big for a baby. By the time he was four he would carry it everywhere, it’s back paws hit his knees when he walks and he can barely see over its head but if you offer to carry it for him he responds with “No i-it’s okay, it m-mine. I gots it.” Until the third grade, he only let his mom and Eddie touch it, no one else. 

Stan has a baby blanket, he actually sleep with it until college (though he’d never let the losers know that) and he still has it in a memory box. (it’s green cable knit)

Eddie was really attached to his father before he died, anytime his dad was home he was basically his shadow. He’d also cling to his father’s leg every morning before he left for work. 

Richie would crawl under Maggie’s arm if he had a nightmare but wouldn’t wake her up because he was scared he’d end a good dream for her. 

Ben was a really picky eater as a kid, if his parents took him out to eat he’d only eat chicken tenders or cheese pizza. He didn’t start trying new food until age 8. 

When Bev’s mom couldn’t get her down for a nap, she would put on “Sleeping Beauty” and sit with her on the couch, Bev always feel asleep by the time Aurora did, normally with her head in her mom’s lap

Mike named ever animal that was brought onto the farm, all of them, even the mice. When he found out what mouse traps were he cried for twenty minutes.

Even thought it was considered “girly” Eddie had a baby doll, he took really good care of it too.

Richie watched his first horror movie on accident because his dad fell asleep with a marathon of them playing on the tv. Maggie wasn’t happy about it. (Richie was 8)

Ben’s love for libraries stemmed from his father, they would go to one whenever the two got the chance.

Bill’s favorite movies as a kid were “Pinocchio”, “The Reluctant Dragon” and “Dumbo”. He watched them all at least twice a week while his mom cooked dinner (it kept him still and out of trouble, after he almost dumped a pot of boiling water on himself getting too curious, his mom had to find something to occupy him)

Stan was a chicken for his first Halloween (picked out by Donald)

Mike loved to help in the kitchen as a kid, but his grandpa didn’t let him do much so he wouldn’t get hurt. (If you need someone to spread garlic butter on bread though, he’s been doing it since age 3 and is definitely your guy)

 Bev would throw a fit if you put her in a dress until she was in the third grade. 

When his parents were trying to decorate Georgie’s nursey, Bill drew a little family portrait of what he hoped there family would be like in Georgie’s closet. His parents never found it so it’s still there.

Mike named one of the sheep on the farm after his father once, it’s the only sheep they never killed (he died eventually though, of natural causes)

Ben used to volunteer to read to pets at the animal shelter, his favorite things to read to them was fairytales so “the animals would know they deserved a happy ending”

Eddie would not go to sleep until he got a proper goodnight and tucked into bed, no matter how tired he was. 

Richie still has a finger painting of his hung up in his preschool. He was the teacher’s favorite and he painted the whole class for her

Bev hated dolls as a kid, she wouldn’t play with them at all, but she had foam blocks that she was constantly playing with. She built her mom a new castle every day and kept it up until her mom could see it

Back to Stan’s baby blanket, He used to drape it over his little legs and sit with a picture book beside his mom while she read a book with a blanket over his legs. He almost taught himself to read doing it because he would try to connect the pictures and words and tap his mom to ask if he was right. 

[sophieturnerr]

Hospital Bed

summary: He'd watched Eddie die, he'd held him in his arms as he said his last words. At least that was what he thought until he got the call from Beverly telling him they'd found a man outside neibolt house clinging to the last bit of life he had. Basically the “Eddie survives the final battle like he should have” story.

notes: this is my first actually publiched fic for this fandom and first in a very long time. I do hope it’s something you enjoy! I’ll take all the constructive critisism. 

warnings: none

read of ao3 here.

It didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be real. Standing here looking at the man in the hospital bed, it especially didn’t seem real. He’d been there when Eddie died. He’d held him as he died. That was a very vivid memory in Richie’s mind. He couldn’t forget something like that, he couldn’t make up something like that. He’d been there when they dragged him away, insisting that Eddie was gone. Now they expected him to believe he was back. That the figure in the bed that looked so much like Eddie was actually him.

He’d felt Beverly’s hand on his shoulder, she’d been the one to call him after Mike heard that they’d found a man half dead in the Nieobolt. He’d been packing when she did. He’d been ready to get out of this place and go back to living his life in California. As soon as he got out of here it would be just like before. He wouldn’t remember any of this, it would be some fuzzy memory like it had been before. Richie wouldn’t remember anything about this place or that he’d had to watch the love of his life die. It would be back to that haze and blissful ignorance that he’d been used to before.

Richie was doing a good job of dodging the other losers as he got ready to leave. He’d said bye before anyone else, he’d waved off their worries and thrown jokes at them like he was perfectly normal. They could still see through him. Straight through all the bullshit to the fact that he was still screaming inside replaying that moment over and over again. When Beverly called he’d ignored the first one, she was always the best at getting to the root of the problem and he was always good at running from problems. Especially this one. The second call he answered.

Before he’d been able to get a word out she was already talking, “You need to come to the hospital. They found him, he’s not dead.” Anger was the first emotion that hit him, the idea that she’d joke about this after seeing it happen. Especially since she’d known since they were teenagers that he was practically in love with Eddie. She of all people should have more sympathy for him. Richie saw red and couldn’t do anything but yell until he heard Ben’s calm voice in the background just asking him to come.

And that’s how he got here. In the middle of a hospital room with Beverly next to him and the other losers outside in the waiting room. He’d been in a daze when he walked in, saw Bill talking to one of the doctors and the others waiting for him. Bev had been the one who lead him into the room, talking to him as if he could actually understand anything she was saying. The only thing that stuck was that Eddie was alive. He’d woken up a few times. The first was bad according to the doctors, it was only for a few minutes but it was long enough for him to realize what had happened to him.

Something saved him when Richie was so sure he’d been dead. Everyone had been sure he was gone, there wasn’t anyway anyone could have survived that. Stranger things had happened in Derry than a seemingly dead man not actually being dead but it hadn’t ever shook him this much. Not even Pennywise had scared him as much as walking into this hospital room had. Fear of being wrong, of it not actually being Eddie and the fear of Richie getting to have him again for a few minutes before he was taken away again. He wasn’t sure if he could handle that again. In Fact he knew he couldn’t.

Part of him wanted to wait with the others to avoid the chance of watching Eddie die again but his feet were moving on their own. Walking ahead of Beverly like he knew where he was going instead of letting her lead him where he needed to be. Hell he’d almost complained when she stopped in front of a room before he realized this was the room. She’d told him that he didn’t look good, she’d warned him about that but it didn’t actually prepare him for the sight of Eddie laying in the bed pale, broken and his arm. God he’d almost forgotten about his arm.

Richie fell into the seat next to the bed, everything in his body was begging to reach out and touch him. To run his fingers over his face, revel in the moment of him being alive. It didn’t happen though for once his body and his mouth were still. He didn’t move he just stared. Afraid that if he did touch him that he’d vanish and it would just be another nightmare conjured up by this mistake of a town.

“Do you want me to stay?” Beverly’s voice was soft, soft enough for him to almost say yes. The shake of his head was all he could give her but she didn’t mind. He felt her lips on the top of his head before he heard her leave the room and the door close behind her.

It was just the two of them now. If the others had seen him yet he didn’t know, they probably had. Even if they hadn’t though none of them missed his reaction. It made sense that they’d let him see him alone. None of them had any reasons to act like they didn’t know exactly what Eddie had been to him now. Stan and Beverly had known before. Maybe they all did and were just too nice to say anything or got a kick out of watching him struggle to hide it as a teenager.

Eddie hadn’t known though. That much Richie was certain of. In the end, yeah he did, Eddie was the one who spoke first. Whispered words that didn’t need to be finished to understand. Both of them had been stupid kids who shoved everything deep down inside and made themselves forget about it until the very end. He’d thought maybe if they both survived they could end up like Ben and Beverly who hadn’t let go of each other since they defeated it. But he’d watched Eddie die. Or he thought he had.

Slowly he raised his hand, hesitating before he let his fingers ghost over Eddie’s. If he would allow himself to be a more positive man maybe he’d let himself imagine that they could be that now. When Eddie woke up they’d finish’s those words and finally let themselves have what they’d been fighting for years. Positivity wasn’t a luxury he had right now. Not after what he’d already seen.

Instead he sat there. His hand never leaving Eddie’s, cold and almost lifeless but he could feel his pulse when he accidentally squeezed too hard. A safety mechanism his brain had, when this felt too fake he’d squeeze and make sure he didn’t just disappear in his hands. It would break him if he lost him again. That much was clear, even if he’d told himself not to get his hopes up he was already too far. The second he’d seen him in the bed he was too far gone again. Richie wasn’t sure what he’d do if Eddie didn’t make it now other than completely fall apart. Break in the worst way possible. A man could only lose the love of his life so many times.

For the millionth time today he felt tears burn the back of his eyes. Letting his head fall onto his arm he squeezed Eddie’s hand again, pressing his lips against the back of his hand. “Just wake up. Just fucking wake up Eds. Please.” Richie was begging now. Begging whatever higher being might be listening. He’d ask every single one of them if he thought it would help. If anything would wake him up he’d do it, he wasn’t above anything right now. All he cared about was the man in front of him.

It had been some time, he wasn’t sure how long, he wasn’t counting. He knew Mike and Bill had both come in for a few minutes. Checked on him, updated him on what the doctors said but they didn’t stay very long. Richie hadn’t let go of Eddie’s hand and didn’t have much to say, he tried to joke when Bill first walked in but stopped the attempt when it was clear Bill wasn’t believing it. He wasn’t sure if they’d left to give him time alone with him or if they just couldn’t stand seeing him like this. Richie couldn’t blame them for either. He’d thank them for the first.

Sleep was threatening him when Eddie’s fingers twitched. Richie thought it was his imagination, the part of his brain that was desperate for him to wake up. It happened again. This time it was more than just his fingers, his hand was moving, the muscles in his arm twitched. Sitting up he watched his face slowly come to life. The twitching of his face, the fluttering of his eyes as they opened, squinting as he got used to the bright hospital lights. He didn’t seem to realize Richie was there despite him still holding onto his hand.

Wide eyes were trained on Eddie as he adjusted his body slightly, moving as if to make sure he was actually there and alive. Maybe it had been as much of a shock for him as it had been everyone else. It wasn’t until he tried to move his arm that he turned to face him. “Richie?” His voice was rough but Richie couldn’t remember ever being this happy.

His hands were on his face before he registered what he was doing, running his fingers over his face and through his hair. His too much gene kicking in, he wasn’t content in seeing him awake he had to make sure. “Holy shit.” He breathed. “I saw… I saw you die.” But he hadn’t this was proof.

Pain was clear on his face but so was his smile. Eddie was probably wanting to relax but he humored him, let him hold onto his face. “Not dead. Not yet at least.” His other shoulder jerked in a clear attempt to move the arm that wasn’t there any longer. He stopped moving then, his eyes shifting from Richie to where his arm was supposed to be. “Not all here either.”

“But alive.” Eddie was still Eddie. No matter how many arms he had or didn’t have. What mattered was that he was there and he was alive. “You’re fucking alive. You’re here.” He felt both sick and happy at once. It didn’t make sense but that was the last thing on his mind. “Eds I…”

He was cut off by the squeezing of his hand, “I know.” It was Eddie this time who slowly pulled his hand forward, kissing the back of his hand. More could be said later. Those words could be said later. Right now this was enough. “Me too.”

[grody-cosplay-n-crap]

The Ones that Die

After everything he’s seen, this might as well be next. Sentient lights that feed off the fear of mortals make an afterlife seem kind of dull after all.

Eddie is a ghost, but it doesn’t bring him any more clarity.

I never really knew what “this fic got away from me” meant until I started writing this. Wanted to explore Eddie being able to realize Richie was in love with him and vomited this out instead. I hope you enjoy the result.

on ao3

__________________________________________________________

 Slowly, he blinks. Once, twice, three times. He was standing, or at least that’s how it seemed. His body somehow felt wrong, not heavy enough, not…dense. As he contemplated gravity’s seeming lack of power over him things came into focus. A cave. Well…cave might be generous. A nasty, damp hole might be more accurate, and god what the fuck was that smell? After a few moments of just wrinkling his nose as hard as he could he glances to his left, almost physically jumping when he realized there was a group of people immediately next to him. How fucking long had they been there and what the fuck were they doing hanging out in this hell hole (what was he??) To be fair they looked like they were ready to leave ASAP and he became vaguely aware that the area around them seemed to be all but falling apart. Clearly this place should have been blocked off to the public this was a HUGE liability. It looked like one of the people had already been hurt, slumped against the wall-

Everything stopped.Sitting there, eyes glassy and unblinking, dark thick blood still dripping off of their chin, a trail that led his eyes down to a gaping wet hole. He doubled over to vomit only to realize he couldn’t, as if his organs had been stolen out of his body cavity. There in front of him was himself, unmoving and very clearly dead. 

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the EVER LOVING FUCK

Slowly he realized sounds were coming back to him, like someone turning up the volume on a TV. How had he not noticed everything was silent? Now voices, breathing, ambient sounds and distantly rocks falling. If he still felt like he had lungs  he’s pretty sure he would be hyperventilating. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Was this a new more detailed type of lucid dream, could he be medicated for this? What if he was the first case EVER and there is no treatment-

“-we got it man-” His panicked thoughts come to a screeching halt and he finally really looks at the people standing around his -definitely a hallucination- body. Gravity suddenly feels like it has been turned back on as memories all fall into place in a way that is nothing if not devastating. He knows why he’s down there…he knows who these people are. He knows that he…..that he really is dead. It feels like his heart is back and a cold hand has wrapped around it and squeezed. 

“Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.” He whispers “ It got me, that motherFUCKING clown-” covering his mouth and squeezing his eyes closed acceptance seeps into him. After all he has seen this might as well be next. He’s not sure why he has not been crippled by grief and pure raw panic by now, except for the strange feeling that his mind is missing something it had in life, just like the density seems to be missing from his bones. He supposes after the alien shapeshifting sentient lights that fed off the fear of mortals and a….a turtle?? an afterlife seemed almost dull. He really thought for a minute he had killed that motherfucker, his bright eyed joy seemed truly embarrassing now. Somehow the memory of the shameful irony is more powerful to him than the memory of the physical pain. God being dead had really fucked up his priorities. How long had he been spacing out since remembering what was going on, seconds? Minutes? Was time even real anymore? God what a cliche. He could see Richie’ s face in his mind right when he had been stabbed and that hurt more than the actual claw going through his organs. Oh god Rich. 

Time snapped back to moving normally again and he was once again watching his best friends all gathered around his corpse. 

“-he’s alright, we just got to get him out of here, he’s hurt man-" 

What? He looked at Richie with confusion, frowning. The denial in his voice, as if he truly believed what he said…. Eddie was clearly gone, his eyes staring endlessly into nothing. Why would his friend say that, so utterly out of touch with reality? 

"Honey… honey he’s dead…” Bev’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“Richie…” Eddie said, his voice sounding just the same to his ears as it always had “It’s true man, I’m gone… I’m gone." 

"We gotta go-” Bill. He watched as Richie took his body into his arms in a gesture more tender and desperate than he could ever remember seeing from the other man. 

“Richie come on…. Why are you-that-” he gestures “ That isn’t me anymore. It’s okay you can just leave it-” A recoiling feeling hit him at the thought of being stuck in this place forever, but he pushes it away. Not him, just something that used to be. Rocks were starting to fall. “ You guys can’t get hurt over… over a body!” Ben, Bill and Mike are trying to pry Richie off now and he only clings tighter.

“We can still help him guys, we can still help him-!!”

“Let me GO Richie!!” He all but yells, feeling like stomping his foot in frustration, just like he had countless times as a kid.“ Why are you being like this?!”

“We can still help him-!!!” He was being dragged away now, successfully separated from Eddie’s body, but he’s struggling. 

“Just fucking go, asshole.” Eddie mutters, a violent fear that the others will be hurt seeping into him. He hears one last cry of “Eddie, No-!!!"before they are out of sight. The other worldly detachment he has had since waking dissipates completely. He misses it immediately. 

________________________________________________________

He blinks back into existence outside on Niebolt Street. Bone deep relief washes through him as he sees the rest of the losers club run out of that shitty house before it starts to properly collapse. Well, he thinks as he watches, the meat sack that was Eddie Kaspbrak is officially gone, buried under tons of rock and dirt. It should upset him more but deep down he knows a pristine embalmed body in a casket would have made no difference. Next to him he realizes someone is struggling, trying to get back to the ruin. Richie.

"We gotta get back in there and get him, he’s still in there!!” It takes both Mike and Ben to hold him back. “Eddie, Eddie!!!" 

Eddie snaps "Richie, what the fuck are you doing?!” He yells right into his face. “Why are you acting like this?? It sucks man, I know, it fucking sucks but what exactly are you going to do?!?” He points to the pile of rubble. “What if someone else got hurt what if-” a sudden realization. “What if you had just…just stayed?? You would have died too! For no reason!! Do you…do you think any of us would want that…. If, if we… for someone else to… ” he trailed off as he watched the fight drain out of Richie and he all but collapsed onto the road below. 

“You always were different.”

The breath he didn’t need anymore leaves him all at once as he spins to his right. A new man was standing there, looking right at him. He had soft, wise eyes partially hidden behind reading glasses and a tamed mop of curly hair.

“Stan?”

“Hi…hi there Eddie.”

“Holy shit, holy fucking shit.” Stan watched quietly as he had a little freakout. “God damn it, sure, sure why not, christ. I… God, Stan I have so much to say to you.” Stan gave a sad little smile, but Eddie got distracted again quickly. “Wait what do you mean I’m different?”

“To him.” Stan gestures to Richie. “You were always different than the rest of us.”

“What?” Eddie said, watching as the other losers gently pull Richie up off the ground “That doesn’t make any sense, you were his best friend, man.” A sinking feeling hits him “Ah fuck, Richie…” 

“Hm.” Stan said quietly “Maybe.”

________________________________________________________

He and Stan were sitting next to the water in the quarry, just waiting. 

“Why…” Eddie broke the silence awkwardly “Why did you…do it?” Stan kept staring over the water. 

“I suppose you will never get my letter… I remembered as soon as Mike called. And I knew that I couldn’t…. I was too scared to come back. But I couldn’t let you guys try alone either. I just knew if I let you face It without me…” He swallows slowly “you would all die. So this..this was my other option.” Eddie frowned. 

“I don’t understand.” A sigh.

“My absence would only be okay if I couldn’t be here. I had to take myself out of the game.”

“Shit Stan…” Eddie looked out over the water too “We missed you like fuck. I’m not… not mad but, fuck. Do you regret it? At all?”

“It worked. I would take myself out to save all of you a hundred times over.” He gives another painful looking swallow. “Most of you.” God this was so fucked. “But I wish…. I wish I could have just been brave instead. Maybe if I was here we all could have made it out. We would all have a chance to be…” He took off his glasses and pressed his fingers hard into his eyes, exhaling shakily. Eddie couldn’t quite bring himself to try to touch Stan’s shoulder, could they even touch?”

“Were you happy?” Stan looks up at him. “Your life… was it good? Were you happy?” 

“Yeah…” he breathed “I was pretty happy. It would have been better with all of you in it though.” 

“God I’m fucking sorry Stan.”

“Were you happy?” Stan says in reply, sounding as if he already knows the answer. Eddie gives a humorless laugh. 

“No, no I don’t think I fucking was.” he ran his hand through his hair “I think my life might have fucking sucked.” Stan was quiet for a moment.

“All of us were…. stunted by what we went through. It seemed like we grew up but really it’s like we were all on pause until we came back, remembered, and ended it.”

“Yeah well, you were the most grown up back then too. Probably why your life was okay.” He chuckled then groaned, putting his head in his hands. “That  summer I stood up to my mom. I remember now. I realized she was full of shit and I stood up to her and then I forgot. Right back to square one and she’s dead but it doesn’t matter  because I fucking married version 2.0, what the fuck is wrong with me?” 

“We all regressed in some ways. All of us repeated mistakes after our memories were taken.” Eddie didn’t say anything or lift his head. “If you still could…. What would you do next?” Eddie finally looks up. 

“I want to think…God, fuck… if I could stop being a fucking chickenshit I know exactly what I’d do. I’d leave Myra, leave that fucking city I hate. Do something worthwhile with my life. I don’t think med schools take many 40 year olds but I could be a radiologist or something. A nurse practitioner maybe. Fucking Richie would probably be an asshole and call me a “murse” or something.” His chest tightens again. “This really fucking sucks Stan. Really not fair, you know? Is this just going to be forever? Just hanging around for eternity rotting? Because that sounds a lot like hell.” 

“I don’t know.” Stan says “No one has told me the rules of the afterlife.” 

“Glad religion turns out to be so helpful.” Eddie snorts “Hope you’re not too disappointed Stan.” 

“ Religion was more my father’s thing.” 

They are interrupted by a loud splash. Bev, as always, had just lept first into the quarry from the cliff above. ‘That should really be blocked off, that is NOT safe-’ Eddie’s thought is cut off as he saw four other figures leap into the water. He and stan watch as they swim around, cleaning themselves of blood and grime. Eddie found his eyes wandering to Richie the most. He was moving less than the others, mostly staring at the water. 

“Eddie would have hated this.��� Eddie’s gaze switches to Ben.

“What, cleaning up in dirty water?”

“Yeah I fucking would have you assholes.” Eddie groaned “But kind of irrelevant now, huh?” Bacteria seemed pretty fucking unimportant when you no longer had a body to be infected. How many hours had he wasted worrying about microorganisms when he wound up just getting fucking impaled?? 

“He would be looking out for us, like he always was.” warmth flooded his chest and for the first time in a while he felt like crying. He really wasn’t ever going to be able to talk to them again, to touch them, to really be with them. But they were smiling at his memory and that’s what he wanted, for them to be okay, to be happy. 

“Right Richie?”

Richie wasn’t smiling. For once in his life he had nothing funny to add. Instead he was sobbing, curling into himself in the waist deep water. 

“Fuck.” Eddie says aloud. He is immediately up, walking towards where all the losers were converging, holding Richie comfortingly. 

“He won’t be able to hear or feel you.” Stan says.

“I know!” Eddie snaps, focusing on how he can feel the drag of the water around his legs but they don’t seem to be wet at all. When he reaches the group he awkwardly mimes draping himself over Richie’s back. He concentrates hard and when he softly leans his forehead against him it doesn’t go right through like a cartoonish ghost, thank god. Rich and the others might not be able to feel him, but the idea of comforting them is good enough. 

“Rich come on.” He whispers. “Where are you? You’re strong, why are you…taking this so badly??” Not that he wanted anyone to take his death WELL, but they had just remembered each other, knew the danger they were facing, had thought about their own deaths and the deaths of everyone else. And Richie had never been the most sensitive of them, had always had a thick protective layer of humor and smarts around him. 

“I don’t have my glasses so I don’t know who you people are, but thank you.” Eddie physically sags with relief when he hears Richie finally crack a joke. Thank God. 

“No really, I can’t find my glasses.”

“Idiot.” Eddie says with a small smile. 

________________________________________________________

He and Stan are back on the shore, watching the other losers still splashing around. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Eddie asks suddenly and it is very clear who he is talking about. “Just like…. I was thinking. You were his best friend, and he’s not… not coping well with me being gone, I’m just fucking worried-” 

“I don’t know.” Stan says and Eddie can sense a little fear in his voice.

“Come on Stan you are the senior ghost here you’re supposed to have the answers.” Stan raises his eyebrow but smiles a little too “I just… don’t understand man. I mean I know I got stabbed right on top of him and that’s pretty fucking traumatizing but-” he exhales trying to gather his thoughts. “I’ve never seen him like this.” He hears Richie’s desperate screams of his name replay and a lump forms in his throat “I’ve never seen anyone-” 

“I have.” Stan interrupts “Patty. When she found me.” 

“Patty?” Eddie’s eyes widen with realization “Your wife.” 

“Yeah.” Stan’s voice was quaking slightly “I wish I didn’t have to do that to her.” A deep breath “But when you’ve made someone a part of yourself and suddenly they’re gone…. That’s what it looks like.” 

“But Stan that’s your wife.” Stan gives him a meaningful look and they lapse into awkward silence, even as the living losers finally climb out and head back to the inn.

“I know I said this already but this really fucking sucks.” Eddie finally says. “I still exist, but I can’t do anything. I can’t talk to anyone, or feel anything or grow or fix my stupid fucking life. I can only watch for eternity. Sure I know my friends are okay but to them I’m gone. I can’t help them or-!” he lets out a frustrated noise. “I think just ceasing to exist would have been better, at least then I wouldn’t care, I couldn’t hurt.” 

After a moment Stan speaks up. “We may be here because of our connection to Pennywise. There are probably other beings like it…. out there.” Eddie does NOT  want to unpack that.

“At least one thing I suspected about the afterlife is true” he says instead “It’s worse for the ones that get left behind than the ones that die.” 

_________________________________________________________

When the losers make it back to the townhouse Eddie and Stan arrive there too. Eddie is not sure if he has to be wherever they are, or if he just wants to be. What’ll happen when they split up to go home? He supposes he can just take turns traveling to each of them in turn. God, when he was a kid first learning his mom was forcing him to leave his friends behind forever he would have given anything to be able to teleport to them at will.

Almost everyone immediately showered to actually clean themselves, except Richie who had to be bullied into it.

“You will feel better afterwards.” Bev had said. Richie had given a short humorless laugh. 

Eddie’s room was still covered in his and Bowers’ blood. Mike and Ben clean it quickly while Richie is in the shower. When they are leaving they stop next to his bed, staring at his abandoned suitcases. They convien with Bill and Bev. 

“Someone needs to inform his wife.” Mike says barely above a whisper “And his belongings should be returned to her as well. I hate to say it but we should also agree on a story of what happened and keep it consistent. I doubt his wife will simply accept his death without question and I can’t blame her. The Derry police are not going to do much of anything, but who knows about her local police.” Everyone glances around uncomfortably. Bev has her hand over her mouth, eyes damp. 

“I can take them…. and talk to her. I live the closest and maybe… I’ll be able to break it more gently.” 

“I’ll go with you.” Ben says softly “no one should have to do that alone.” Bev gently took his hand, smiling. 

“No, I’m going to do it.” The entire group jumps, spinning to where Richie was standing, jaw and fists clenched. “Having a fun little secret meeting?” 

“Richie.” Bill was using his leader voice as the others glanced around guiltily. “I don’t know if that’s the best idea.” 

“I don’t fucking care.” Richie spits back “You’re not my fucking boss, Bill. I’m taking his stuff back to New York. And I’ll… I’ll tell his w-wife-” his voice starts to tremble and he scrubs his face hard. “Fuck.” Bill steps forward and everyone is tense until he throws his arms around Richie. 

“Okay Richie.” He says quietly, rubbing his  back “Okay.” Richie buries his face in Bill’s shoulder and trembles silently.

Eddie had forgotten that Myra probably did need to be informed that he was dead. She may be controlling and possessive and occasionally demeaning but she was a person and deserved to be treated like one. It would be a shock but she would be okay, he has good life insurance, ironically, and they had never really loved each other anyway. (would life insurance pay out if they never found a body?) Maybe he should be more worried for her but it was hard when all his focus was stolen by Richie, who now had Bev’s head on his shoulder, Ben and Mike placing their hands comfortingly on his arms. 

“I’m…… I’m okay.” he finally breaths “I’m going to go…. Get his things together.” 

“Do you want us to-” Bev starts

“No. No, go get some sleep. I’ll… go to bed soon too.” he gives a shaky smile.

____________________________________________________________ 

Richie has been staring at Eddie’s suitcases for half and hour. Eddies has been silently waiting just as long. He almost felt like he was part of a standoff, except one member of the party was an inanimate object. Finally with a shaky sigh Richie leans over to start unzipping the first one. He begins to go through it carefully, putting pill bottles to the side in their own pile as he comes across them. When he was up to ten he paused.

“Jesus Christ Eddie.” He whispers with a small smile.

“Listen, asshole” Eddie replies instantly “Just because I’m prepared-” he didn’t finish, realizing that a) most of the conditions these pills were for were probably fake ( gazibos, his mind supplied) b) none of this had done him and good when he was fucking gutted by a clown. Richie had started actually reading the medication now, with a strange concentration. After a minute he pockets one that Eddie recognizes as a sleeping aid. After yet another moment he reaches back into the suitcase and also pulls out a soft grey sweatshirt. Before Eddie can even begin to question what he’s going to do with it Richie has strode out of the room with purpose. Eddie follows hot on his heels, passing Stan in the hallway. 

“What the fuck, did you only bring one change of clothes? What are you doing with that?” He watches as Richie dumps several pills into his hand and knocks them back. “Richie the fucking dose for those is two you asshole!” Eddie looks horrified as Richie falls down onto his bed. Improper dosage is suddenly the last thing on his mind as Richie takes his stolen hoodie and brings it to his face, curling his entire body around it as he lays down on his side. His shoulders begin to shake.

Stan is in the doorway now, and he can tell from how he is gazing at him that Eddie’s face looks just as devastated and confused as he feels.

________________________________________________________

Richie is screaming in his sleep. Eddie had been sitting vigil on the end of the bed. At one point he had a moment where he realized he couldn’t sleep, like ever. That had given him a mini freak out moment, he couldn’t even take a break from consciousness for a few fucking hours? He calmed down a bit however when he realized that if he simply let focus slip time would move by as quickly as he seemed to want. It had slammed back to normal when Richie’s first scream cut through the air. Eddie scrambles up towards the headboard immediately, intent on shaking the other man awake. This time when he tries to touch him his hand sinks right through like he’s in a fucking episode of Scooby Doo. Fuck. Richie is tangled up in the blankets he hadn’t bothered to get under before, sweating like he had been running. The stolen hoodie was still in a vice grip against his body.

“Rich wake up!” Eddie yelled in desperation “Come on man!!” There is a scrambling noise followed by Bill bursting into the room, the others close behind. He glances around the room, sleep clumsy, as if to make sure there is no actual monster inside. Immediately after he stumbles toward the bed.

“Richie! Rich!!!” He yells, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders. Richie sits ups so quickly he nearly smashes his skull right into Bill’s. He’s gasping violently, looking wildly around the room.

“Hey, hey Richie, it’s okay. You’re awake, we’re here. It’s dead, It’s dead.” Richie’s breathing slows slightly as he looks Bill in the face. His eyes then flick over his shoulder. 

“Eddie.” said man feels the air leave the room. Richie looks back at Bill and the expression on his face tells him all he needs to know. He crumples in on himself and can’t hold back as he begins to sob. Eddie feels a bit like dying all over again. 

_________________________________________________________

They all part ways the next day. There is some doubt at first, with many worried glances at Richie, but in the end it is unanimous that they want to get the fuck out of Derry. He and Stan watch as they all pack, Eddie’s suitcases going into Richie’s car. He’s wearing Eddie’s sweatshirt. 

“Where are you going to go?” He asks Stan, who is still very quiet. Quiet and sad. 

“I’ll stick with you wherever you go, for now.” 

“You sure?” Stan had other people he might want to be with, check in on.

“You’re going with Richie, right?” Eddie’s jaw clenches slightly as he nods. Stan doesn’t say anything else. The living losers hug countless times, promises are given over and over. They will check in with each other every day. A group chat is established, two, on different messaging services. Plans are already being made for how many times a year they are going to meet. It takes them forever to actually part ways. Bev and Ben leave together, Bill on his own. Mike has a little longer to stay before he can finally get out of Derry forever. In the end it’s just Richie sitting in his ridiculous rental car. He is going to drive to New York, Eddie has a feeling he didn’t want to be around a ton of strangers right now like he would be in an airport. Eddie was sitting in the passenger seat, Stan in the back. It felt incredibly ridiculous. The car is on but they haven’t started moving yet. Richie had been staring out the windshield for minutes, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. Eddie wishes he could at least send some kind of…. Comforting vibes at Richie. The tension is heavy. Finally, Richie puts the car in gear, a look of purpose on his face. They drive slowly through their shithole of a home town and Eddie starts thinking about how he’s actually pretty grateful for his new found ability to to make time pass faster for the drive. If he could just stop worrying about Richie long enough to relax. He looks, quite frankly, like shit. Eddie was pretty sure he had not slept again after waking up screaming. His mind was still working trying to figure out why his death had hit him so much harder that it had the others. Even harder than Stans. The vice that felt like it had been around his heart since the day before keeps tightening. He is startled when they pull over suddenly. 

“Where the fuck?” He asks as Richie gets out, glancing back at Stan. Stan is just looking out the window with a strange expression. He almost looks like he was expecting the pit stop. He glances at Eddie and then nods out the window as if telling Eddie to follow Richie out. He takes a minute trying to open the door before remembering he can just be outside of the car if he wants. Ghost rules are weird. Once he’s outside he recognizes where they are.

“Is this the fucking kissing bridge??” 

“Hm.” Stan says in vague agreement, now standing next to him. His eyes were on the other side of the bridge where Richie was now kneeling, facing the railing where so many names and initials (and some dicks) were carved.

“Did Richie… have some secret childhood love we didn’t know about in the fucking town? Who the hell did he even talk to that wasn’t us?” He felt strangely grumpy and exasperated by the thought. Stan stayed silent, just continuing to stare over at Richie. The man had pulled out a pocket knife, flicking it open. 

“Is he carving something now?” Eddie mutters, utterly confused. Stan finally gives him a look that says ‘just go over there and find out, idiot’. Eddie does.

“Hey man,” he says, getting very used to not expecting answers anymore “what the hell are you even doing-” The moment he really sees the letters being re-carved into the shitty old wooden railing sound turns off around him. His vision seems to zoom in as if it was a camera in some shitty action movie.

R + E 

He looks up helplessly at Stan, who simply looks back with melancholy and understanding. He glances back down to make sure he read right, make sure those were the initials Richie had refreshed with his knife. Richie was gently touching them now, smiling but with eyes watering, threatening to spill. Eddie is vaguely aware Stan is next to him now.

“That-” His voice comes out slightly choked. He swallows. “That…. E doesn’t stand for Emily Williams from 8th grade math class, does it?” Stan gives him a small shake of the head. It was strange to feel the perspective of his entire life suddenly shift all at once. As if every memory he had was now under bright new lighting. 

“Rich…” 

Bickering endlessly while the other losers sighed with exasperation. Richie mocking him for his video game skills, even when it was painfully obvious how happy he was that Eddie had agreed to play. Eddie snatching Richie’s notebook away when he realized he was writing angry Richie had been that Bill didn’t even seem to care that Eddie had almost died in Neibolt, that he wanted to go back. The day Richie seemed to deliberately stop touching him, the strange look of fear he had when skin contact lasted too long. 

“Oh shit,” Eddie covers his mouth “Oh fuck Rich, all this fucking time?” Richie Tozier was a loudmouth who couldn’t be touched by doubt or insecurity. Richie didn’t spend days torturing himself over how other people felt about him. Richie didn’t keep secrets for years out of what…?

“Why didn’t he ever say-”

“He was afraid.” Eddie looks at Stan.

“You knew?” Stan nods. 

“Only for a moment, he told me the night before he left Derry. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. But he was…terrified Eddie. As though I would immediately be disgusted by him once I knew, as if we would all throw him away once we found out he was ‘defective’.” Eddie really felt like being sick. All this time one of his best friends in the world had been letting part of himself eat him away inside. The most confident man he ever knew felt like he had to push down who he was so deep even he couldn’t acknowledge it all these years later. 

Richie had slid down to sit on the ground, head leaning back on the railing next to the initials, eyes closed. Eddie is sure that he has never wanted anything more than he wants to be able to touch him right now. His entire adult life he had felt incomplete, hollow. His professional and personal accomplishments had never felt as good as he thought they should. His connections with other people had never been as deep as they were supposed to be, shallow imitations of friendship, of love. He wasn’t sure he had been happy even once before sitting in that chinese restaurant with the losers. Hadn’t been happy until he was sitting there next to Richie. Richie, who had always made him feel MORE than even the other losers. He had made him angrier than anyone else could, but also made him happier. He thinks of his sham marriage, how he just accepted this was normal, to feel numb at best towards a person that was supposed to be his other half. What would it have been like with someone different? Someone like-

He slides down the railing and slumps next to Richie. Trembling he reaches towards his hand, praying he will be able to touch him, almost crying when his own hand gently rests on top. He swears he can feel the warmth of Richie, alive, and he realizes he has actually begun to cry. Fat, embarrassing tears roll down his cheeks. He had wondered earlier if he could even cry anymore, he supposed now he knew. Being dead really gave him no more peace or insight than being alive, only a feeling of somehow being even more helpless.

“Fuck.” He rasps “Fuck.” he squeezes Richie’s hand and can’t help but to hope for some kind of a reaction. There is nothing. “It’s not fair.” anger is rising in him now “This just isn’t. Fucking. Fair. My whole life….. How many other ways did I waste the whole fucking thing??” He knew his pitch was rising, angry tears not slowing. He tries to take a deep, shuddering breath. He finally looks back up at his other ghostly companion. “We were just kids, Stan.Why did we have to be shoved into a war with a fucking interdementional being of evil? How the FUCK did that land on us?? We…we were just normal kids who wanted stupid normal kid stuff we didn’t deserve this, to have our whole lives altered, ruined! It’s not fucking fair!!” He knows he sounds hysterical now, taking big gulping breaths, the way a child would while having a tantrum. 

“It’s not.” Stan whispers. He covers his mouth, turning away, his own facade cracking. Eddie is startled as Richie begins to rise, unaware of the breakdown happening beside him. Eddie reaches out on instinct, as if he could grab his wrist and make him stop but Richie just goes right through him. He feels Stan’s hands on him, pulling him up and embracing him, hard. 

“I miss him too.” Eddie buries his head in Stans shoulder, hot tears still leaking out.

“You were the best one of us.” Stan chuckles as if to say ‘I don’t know about that’.

“I missed you all so much.” He actually says “I’m so sorry I didn’t get to meet you all grown up.” his voice cracks slightly and they lapse into silence, Eddie squeezing himself even tighter into him. Stan places his head on top of his gently.

“What are you going to do now?” he says softly.

“Stay with him.” Eddie answers immediately, obviously. 

“How long…?”

Eddie looks up at Stan’s face and knows there is only one answer to give.

“Forever.” 

[katecarteir]

i want to know what love is (i know you can show me)

pairing:  richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak

summary: you fall in love in stages, these little moments: the moment you think you might love them, the moment you think you know you love them, the moment you know you love them but you’re not ready to say it yet and the moment you know you love them and you can’t keep it to yourself anymore. 

warnings: pure fluff, softness,

notes: me? writing an eddie centric fic? unheard of- and yet. 

When Eddie Kaspbrak was five years old, his mother gave him the one and only life lesson that he supposed might actually have been true and helpful.  His father’s sickness had gotten worse and even as kid, he’d been able to see the changes in his mommy as much as in his daddy. This had been a good day for Eddie’s mommy, and she had told Eddie the story of how she and his father had fallen in love.

“You fall in love in stages, these little moments,” she told him tearfully into her cup of tea. “Those little moments; the moment you think you might love them, the moment you think you know you do, the moment you know you love them but you’re not ready to say it yet, and the moment you know you love them and you can’t keep it to yourself anymore.”

And Sonia had launched into her moments of thinking and knowing but all Eddie could think about was when he’d get to experience his own.

The Moment You Think You Might Love Them

Eddie had never really considered Richie Tozier as somebody the incited jealousy, though he supposed he probably should be. If anybody had a good life going for them, it was Richie. Eddie was never exactly jealous of Richie, but he certainly never felt bad for him either. Kid had the best parents Eddie Kaspbrak had ever met and was got flawless marks without trying. Aside from Henry Bowers and his gang of dirt bags, even the people who didn’t really Richie still found themselves drawn to him.

When they turned fourteen, though, Eddie started to feel bad for Richie for the first time. The boy had finally gotten his braces, on top of his coke bottle glasses and out of control black curls. It wasn’t because of the braces themselves that Eddie felt bad for Richie (if Eddie told himself the truth, which he never did, he found the braces kind of adorable.) but because of the growth of bullying he had to endure.

Richie took it in stride for the most part, always one to joke and deflect anything emotional at every turn. One day, though, Eddie’s compassion for Riche hit him hard in the chest and made him feel like he needed the inhaler he hadn’t used in almost a year.

It wasn’t even a moment that Eddie would have expected to feel for Richie, either. Not a time where Richie was being verbally harassed by classmates or slammed into lockers, no, it was much simpler than that.

Richie laughed at a joke Bill made and his hand came up automatically to hide to his open mouth. Eddie’s heart launched into his throat and before Eddie could give a single thought to his actions, his arm flew out and wrapped around Richie’s wrist. He tugged Richie’s hand away from mouth and frowned at him.

“Don’t,” Eddie said, probably a little too harshly. Richie’s eyes widened and the table fell quiet. Richie blinked at Eddie and he cleared his throat. “I just mean… you don’t have to cover up your braces, Richie. They’re- they’re cute, okay?”

There was the distinct sound of Ben choking on his drink, but Richie’s cheeks just heated up. He glanced down at Eddie still holding onto his wrist and he smiled with tight lips. Eddie tightened his grip on Richie’s wrist until the smile cracked open to reveal his braces.

“I-“ Richie cleared his throat. “Thanks, Eddie.”

And as Eddie watched Richie turn back to his food, cheeks still pink, Eddie wondered at the bubbling feeling in his stomach. Richie’s hand slid backwards until it tangled with Eddie’s own. Eddie though his throat might close up as Richie smirked at him from the side gaze.

“If you’re going to grab my hand,” Richie said in low voice so only Eddie could hear him. “You better commit to it, Kaspbrak.”

Then Eddie wondered if the tingle in his chest and clench in his throat could be what being in love felt like.

The Moment You Think You Know You Love Them

Richie shook his head like a dog and splattered water all over Eddie’s face and bare shoulders. “Oh, you bastard!” Eddie squawked, “why are you like this? Why can’t you just be normal?”

“You don’t want me to be normal, Eds,” Richie cooed, dropping down on his knees and pressed his face close to Eddie’s. “I think you love me just the way I am.”

Eddie scowled and whacked at Richie’s bare chest. “Keep fucking dreaming, Tozier. We both know nobody loves you.”

Richie made wide eyes at Eddie and mockingly wiggled his head in Eddie’s face. “Yoooooou do. You love me.” He draped an arm around Eddie and pulled him in to rest his head on Richie’s shoulder. “Eddie Kaspbrak loves me!! Stan! Stan the Man! Stanley!”

Stan looked up where he was reading a book on birds and gave Richie a withering look. “What.”

“Eddie loves me.”

Stan glanced at where Eddie was struggling against Richie’s death hold and stuttering out protests, and rolled his eyes to cover up a fond smile. “Nobody loves you, Richard.” Stan said lovingly.

“Eddie does,” Richie said, flopping his legs over Eddie so he prompted into his lap and buried his head into Eddie’s neck. When Eddie’s body burned hot and he didn’t mind the touch of Richie’s wet hair to his skin, Eddie realized that maybe Richie was right.

Maybe Eddie did love him. The giant, puppy-like idiot.

The Moment You Know You Love Them but You’re Not Ready to Say it Yet

“Don’t!” Eddie sheriked as Richie snapped an elastic band around his fingers. “Tozier!! Don’t!”

“I’m not going to,” Richie said calmly as he flicked the band again. “I just want to put the fear in you.” Richie mimicked snapping the elastic towards Eddie again, causing Eddie to squawk and flinch.

“Tozier! I will beat your ass!” Eddie threatened, clenched his hands at his sides. Richie grinned as his mimicked snapping the band again. Eddie flinched. “Fucker! Stop it!”

“But you’re so cute when you’re angry, Eds baby,” Richie cooed. Eddie felt his cheeks burn bright red and had to question his own sanity. 

“Why don’t you just sit somewhere else?” Stan asked without looking up from the textbook from where he sat on the other side of Richie. Eddie glared at him, and noticed Stan’s smirk despite the lack of eye contact. 

“Because I’m his best friend.” Richie sang, snapped the band once more to hear Eddie squawk angrily at him. “He would never leave me.”

Eddie grumbled under his breath, crossing his arms around his chest. “Why are you like this?” 

Richie lowered the rubber band and stuck out his bottom lip. “Come on, Eds, don’t be mad for keeps now.”

“Don’t fucking call me that,” Eddie snapped while his heart lept. He glanced at Richie from the corner of his eyes and Richie was just... staring at him. “What?”

Then Richie blushed and quickly looked away. “Nothing, my love, my darling, the life of my-” 

“Beep beep,” Eddie reached out and punched Richie in the shoulder. Richie made a loud whining noise before turning to cling to highly annoyed Stan, and now Eddie knew he was the one staring. 

It was the stupidest moment, Eddie knew it, but it hit him like a truck watching Richie act like an utter idiot annoying Stanley Uris. He was in love with this stupid fucking asshole. 

The Moment You Know You Love Them and You Just Can’t Hold It In Anymore

Richie had taken off his glasses before getting up to turn off the light while Eddie curled up in the bed. Richie half took off his jeans as he bounced towards the switch. As Richie turns once the light was off, Richie turned and promptly tripped over the skinny jeans around his thighs.

Richie hit the ground pretty hard, groaning. Eddie burst into laughter, quickly buiring his face in the pillows to avoid being heard. His chest filled with a tight burning, threatening to crush him completely.

“I can’t believe you’re laughing at my misfortunate, Spaghetti.” Richie groaned from the floor, rolling onto his back. “I could have been seriously injured. What would you have done then? You would have had to find a new best friend, and I mean, sure Billy is great but he’s me, you know? The best friend of all best friends and-“

“Tozier, shut up, please,” Eddie said frantically, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute in his chest. “Richie…”

Richie looked up from the ground, squinting to see Eddie in the darkness that was matched up with his lack of glasses. Eddie actually wheezed as he realized he wouldn’t be able to hold this in anymore.

“I love you.”

Richie blinked then his eyes widened, scrambling to stand up, merely to trip over his jeans once more and fall flat onto his side. Scowling, Richie rubbed at his elbow and looked up at Eddie. “For real? Like, really “I wanna spend my whole life with you’re the love of my life, i love you” or “you’re a fucking idiot but you’re my best friend i love you dumbass’?”

Eddie smiled. “Can’t it be both?”

Richie broke into a huge grin and managed to fling himself into the bed. He pulled Eddie close to himself and buried his face into Eddie’s hair.

[londone-fog]

Dirty Paws- Reddie Werewolf AU

AO3 Link

“Come on, puppy. Let’s get upstairs.”

“Puppy? I thought nicknames were my thing?”

(based on the short film of the same name)

The early morning sun was soft and bright and just a little warm, and Eddie relished the feeling of it on his skin. His eyes opened slowly, taking in his surroundings.

He was in his bedroom, the sun casting lines across his walls through the blinds. The clock on the wall read 8:04. He sighed deeply, turning to look at the lump of blankets next to him on the bed. Eddie could barely make out a tuft of curly dark hair poking out the top of the covers, and the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing indicated he was still asleep. Eddie scooted closer, curling himself around the lump of blankets, burrowing his nose into its neck.

“Rich, you awake?” Eddie asked softly, barely above a whisper. Richie groaned, pressing himself a little closer.

“No. Never in a million years.”

Eddie sighed, running a soothing hand across Richie’s arm. He placed a gentle kiss to the juncture between Richie’s shoulder and neck.

“We need to start getting ready. You know what day it is.”

Richie groaned, and rolled over right onto Eddie, wrapping his lanky arms around him tightly.

“I’d rather stay here, I think. Staying in bed sounds good.”

Eddie pushed him off, sitting up and looking. Richie was trying to burrow further into the blankets, hiding his face away in a pillow. Eddie managed to untangle part of him from the duvet and flip him onto his back.

“We need to shower and go over the plan for tonight. Make sure everything goes perfect.”

Richie’s eyes remained closed, and his brow furrowed. He finally peeled them open, one by one, eyelids drooping and bruises deep beneath dark brown pools. He must not have gotten sleep the night before.

“We’ve done this a thousand times. I don’t know what else there is to change,” Richie groaned in slight protest. Eddie ran a wandering finger across his collar bone.

“You got out last time. I don’t want to have to buy another coffee table.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to get one with a glass top. That’s just asking to be broken.”

Eddie let out a small chuckle, a breathy little thing. He pulled Richie’s hand from behind his head and slotted his own between his fingers. His thumb ran soothing circles across Richie’s.

“Let’s go shower, yeah? It’ll be a rough night, so lets start by having a good day.”

Richie sighed, but let Eddie lead him with him into the warm spray of water. Eddie normally wouldn’t be as patient with Richie dragging his feet, but he knew that night would be hard on them. It didn’t help that Richie wasn’t acting like himself; it scared Eddie how tired and muted he became on the full moon. He faced Richie in the shower, letting water run soothingly over them. His eyes, usually a dark brown, we’re already beginning to turn a little blond. By the time night rolled around, they’d be a reflective yellow. Richie slowly bent to burrow his face into Eddie’s neck, arms holding him tightly as though he’d vanish. Eddie held him back.

Breakfast was easier. They joked and drank coffee. Bev came over with Ben around lunch with sandwiches and a large coil of silver chain. Them, along with Mike, Bill, and Stan were the only ones who knew about Richie’s ‘problem’.

By the time they left, it was evening, the sun beginning to sink low in the sky. Eddie paused washing dishes to look down at Richie, who sat on the floor with his back to the cabinets. He had a finger prodding at his teeth, cringing in discomfort.

“Now?” Eddie asked, clinging to the towel he was drying his hands with. Richie just looked at him, his eyes yellow and his canines enlarged. They were almost long enough to poke comically over his bottom lip. Eddie offered him a hand, pulling him to his feet with little effort.

“Come on, puppy. Let’s get upstairs.”

“Puppy? I thought nicknames were my thing?” Richie chuckled. Eddie smiled, glad to hear the sound.

“I think it’s fitting.”

“Don’t patronize me, Spaghetti Man.”

Richie gripped tight to Eddie’s hand, allowing him to lead him to the attic.

With the chain Bev had brought earlier, Eddie very carefully looped them around Richie, connecting him to the radiator beneath the window. Richie grimaced at the cold metal against his arms.

“Seriously, silver? Bev wasn’t kidding, was she?” he said through slightly gritted teeth.

“We just want to make sure you don’t get out. You could get hurt.”

The other people could get hurt went unsaid.

“Do you need me to put down a pillow or something?”

“No, I’m fi-“ The rest of his sentence was cut off by an involuntary, throaty growl. Eddie placed a gentle hand on his face, and pressed a fleeting kiss to the tip of his nose.

“I’ll be downstairs. Holler if you need anything.” Richie nods, yellow eyes reflecting the low light.

Eddie flopped himself down on the couch, book in hand. He opened to his last page, scanning the words in front of him, but not taking in any of them. All he could think of was Richie upstairs, chained up like an animal. Like a monster.

In the three years since Richie had been bitten, the hardest part was always leaving him alone in the attic. The first time was the worst, the night ending with both of them crying; Eddie refused to leave Richie, which lead to him getting a sizable gash across his back. Luckily, the wound was too shallow to cause any lasting damage, but the scar remained white and raised. Since then, they took every precaution to keep them both safe during the full moon.

But, inevitably, there was always an issue.

From his spot on the couch, Eddie could hear Richie’s whines and cries, sounding more dog than human. It sounded a little on the painful side.

“Leave him be. He’s fine. It’s fine,” Eddie whispered to himself, covering his ears with a pillow. That only lasted for so long before he was making his way back to the attic.

He heard Richie before he saw him. His growls and whines echoed around the empty space. He was a mass of dark, matted hair, and when he turned to Eddie, he could count two rows of gleaming white fangs. Eddie crossed his arms and flopped on the ground, sitting in front of Richie. He growled, tugging against the chains.

“Just shut up already. Snarling will get you literally nowhere.”

Richie abruptly stopped, snarl disappearing only to be replaced by wide, staring eyes. The same ones that Eddie has grown to love. He sighed and scooted closer, reaching up to tangle his fingers in the fur of Richie face, resting his forehead against the cold, wet nose of his snout.

“I’m sorry, love.”

Richie whined, trying in vain to push himself closer to Eddie. It was only then that Eddie looked down at the chains looped through dark fur. He knew that silver and werewolves didn’t mix, and that silver bullets were one of the only things that would for sure kill one. But he didn’t expect to see that even touching it would burn them. He could see angry red skin beneath the chains, and his heart leapt into his throat.

“Oh no, it’s hurting you isn’t it?”

Richie only let out a low cry in response. It was that moment that Eddie was faced with two choices: he could either set Richie free, or let the silver burn him even worse. He sighed, rubbing a gentle hand across what would have been Richie’s cheek.

“Look, I’m going to get the old chains from downstairs. Until then, I’ll let you go. Just for a minute. Don’t move.”

Eddie made quick work of unchaining Richie, before scurrying downstairs to the basement. He dug around, looking for the telltale glint of metal in the semi darkness. As soon as he found it, however, there was a large crash from upstairs. He raced back up the attic.

The dropping of chains to the ground was the only sound besides the whistling of wind through the broken window. The pane had been shattered nearly completely; only a few straggling pieces remained attached to the frame. Upon closer inspection, there was a red tinge to the edges, likely from Richie forcing himself through. Eddie sighed and wiped a hand across his face.

He didn’t have to think twice before he called Bev.

“What do you mean he got out?” she nearly hollered. Eddie sighed as he worked to hang a blanket over the broken window.

“Well, the silver was burning him. I told him to stay put so I could get the other ones, but he’d already broken through the window by the time I got up here. What do I do, Bev?”

She sighed loudly, and he could vaguely hear Ben saying something in the background.

“I’ll call the others. We’ll look around for him in all the usual places. You know him best, so I’d get to looking if I were you.”

“Right, right. I’ll let you know if I find anything. Thank you.”

“No problem. Just bring our boy back.”

Eddie nodded, hanging up as he grabbed his coat and opened the door. He was immediately taken aback by the sight of an orange cat, mangled and bloody nearly beyond recognition, lying on his doorstep. He held his breath and looked around, before grabbing it by the scruff of the neck and tossing it into the nearest bush. Richie was really going to get it; if Eddie found him, that was. He bundled his coat tighter around himself as he began his trek to the woods near their subdivision.

He was so full of his own thoughts, he almost didn’t hear someone calling his name.

“Eddie, hey! Eddie!” He turned to see his neighbor from down the way, Greta Keene. Eddie had little patience for her, but forced himself to be pleasant.

“Hey Greta.”

“What are you doing out here so late? It’s nearly ten.”

Eddie placed a nervous hand to the back of his neck.

“Oh, y’know, my, er… dog got out. I’m trying to find him.”

Greta hummed, setting down the recycling bin she held in her hands.

“You might want to be careful. Something around here is killing pets. Luckily my cat’s too smart to get caught.”

Eddie thought back to the dead cat he had concealed in his bushes, and blanched.

“Well, I better get to finding him in that case.” With that he sped off, not giving Greta the chance to question him any longer.

His cheeks smarted against the cold wind, ruffling his hair and drying his eyes. He rubbed his nose as he reached the edge of the forest, looking down at the slope he was becoming all too familiar with. He slid down, the soles of his sneakers scraping the cold ground. He landed, shaking the dirt off him. Eddie squinted in the low light, looking for any sign of Richie. He began a slow trek, keeping his steps light and his eyes peeled. He started to notice small breakages in the tree branches and large paw prints in the slightly soft dirt. He was definitely on the right track.

“Richie! Richie, I know you’re here!” he called out, cupping his hands around his mouth. He was really starting to get cold now, and really wanted to go home. Just as the thought occurred to him, he heard a low howl, coming from up ahead. He began to run toward the noise, nearly sure it was Richie.

Sure enough, there he was, a black mass of fur sitting in the middle of a clearing.

“Jesus, there you are.”

Richie turned suddenly, nose sniffing the air and eyes reflecting the moonlight. He let out a sad little sound when he saw Eddie, and for a moment Eddie felt sorry for him. Then he remembered the broken window and the dead cat and the cold all around them, and his annoyance returned tenfold.

“Are you serious, Rich? After I specifically told you to stay put? I can’t believe you! And now I have to listen to Greta talk about her cat going missing. You don’t have to hunt for me. We have plenty of food at home.” Richie got an odd look across his face, but Eddie was too far gone to really notice. The more he spoke, the more steps he took toward the werewolf. “And now I’m out here in the cold, scared to death because I couldn’t find you. You can’t just keep scaring me like th-”

Eddie never got to finish because he was suddenly thrown on his back. He expected to feel the hot breath of a dog against his face, and his heart froze in terror. But it never came. Instead, all he heard was Richie’s soft cries a few feet away. He opened his eyes and looked up to see Richie lying near where Eddie had been standing just moments ago, leg caught in the jaws of a bear trap.

He was protecting me. He saved me.

The guilt immediately settled into Eddie’s stomach, but he shook it off in favor of running to Richie’s side. He tried in vain to wrestle the trap back down, but the cold and the shock were working against him.

“I’m going to call the others. Hang tight, okay?” Eddie said gently, placing a soft hand just above the wound. He pulled his phone out and called Bill.

“Hello?”

“Bill, its Eddie. I found Richie, but he’s stuck in a bear trap. I can’t get him out.”

Eddie felt the tell-tale sting of tears beginning to prick at his eyes, but he wiped them away.

“Oh, okay. I’m with M-mike, he’ll be able to get him out.”

“Alright, thank you. We’re in the forest. I’ll call the others.”

He quickly hung up and dialed Bev’s number for the second time that night.

“Bev, we’re in the forest. I found Richie, but he’s real hurt. Bill and Mike are on the way.”

“Oh thank God. You’re in the forest. Okay. I think Stan is with Bill, but I’ll check just to be sure. Wait, you said Richie is hurt?”

Eddie swallowed hard, petting small circles into Richie’s fur.

“Yeah, its a… bear trap? I think?”

Bev let out a small sound somewhere between hurt and surprise.

“Oh honey, how bad is it?”

“Well, it’s not great.” He looked at Richie who was desperately leaning into Eddie’s touch. “I think he’ll live, though. Just get everyone here soon.”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

The line ended with a click, leaving deafening silence in its wake. Eddie turned to Richie, and scooted closer to put Richie’s head on his lap.

“I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry you got hurt because I didn’t notice the stupid trap.” He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the tip of Richie’s ear. “I’m just really sorry.”

Richie just closed his eyes and pushed himself closer. Even though he couldn’t speak, Eddie could imagine he was trying to convey forgiveness. Or something like that. And they sat like that, silent but not alone, until the others arrived.

Mike and Ben both pulled on the trap to free Richie’s leg, revealing the wound to be less serious than Eddie had thought. He guessed werewolf legs were made of stronger stuff than the average animal. They walked back to Eddie and Richie’s house in a pack, keeping a sharp eye out for anyone who might spot Richie.

It wasn’t until they were alone with the door securely locked that Eddie finally felt like he could breathe. He deposited Richie on the couch and rummaged around the bathroom for any bandages and cleaning supplies. He found several gauze pads, as well as a roll of bandage and some soothing/ cleaning ointment. He brought it all downstairs.

“This may sting a little, but these need to be cleaned.” Sure enough, Richie cried and howled as Eddie spread ointment on his leg, as well as the little scrapes from jumping out the window. He began to relax once the bandages were finally in place.

Eddie knew he ought to restrain Richie again, but just the feeling of a snout nuzzling against his thigh broke any resolve he had built up. While he was indeed a monster, Richie was also the man that Eddie loved. He forgot that sometimes.

So, together, they climbed the stairs to their room, Eddie curling up behind Richie like always, pressing his face against the fur of Richie’s back.

When he woke in the morning, Eddie was glad to feel his torso wrapped in very gangly, very human arms. Richie was back to normal, at least for another month. He snuggled back into the warm chest behind him, letting out a content sigh.

“I see you’re finally awake,” Richie said, voice gravelly and barely above a whisper.

“I see you’re finally reigned in. How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty great. Better than I would have in the attic.”

Eddie untangled from Richie’s grasp, leaning on his elbow to look down at him. Richie’s eyes were always an amazing shade of brown, and they always held this amazing quality when they were alone together. Eddie leaned down to place a kiss to Richie’s lips, placing his hand against his cheek softly.

“I think we need to rethink the way we do this whole werewolf thing. Don’t you?” Eddie asked, running a gentle thumb against Richie’s cheekbone.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t think the attic is necessary at this point. I think we can make it work if we try.”

Richie paused, seemingly mulling it over. Eddie could practically see the gears turning behind his eyes.

“I mean, if you’re willing to try, I guess we can try.”

Eddie grinned, going in for another languid kiss. Richie couldn’t help but grin too once they pulled apart.

“Hey, let me make breakfast this morning,” he offered. He made to move off the bed, but winced once his feet hit the ground. His foot was still covered from his injury.

Eddie got out of bed and helped him up, leading them downstairs.

“Just shut up, Richie.”

[boopboopbichie]

I’m craving either drunk!eddie or sleep-deprived & clingy! Eddie please bless me

This is agreatgreatgreatgreat request because, bitch I’m in the mood for some clingyEddie too tf. So here is some sleep-deprived & clingy! Eddie because wow. Ilove a sleepy, clingy gay.

(This isn’tvery long, it’s a blurb I wrote when I needed a break from my horrible horriblemath assignment)

Richiewatches as the glass slowly fills with water and sighs. The water tap is brokenso it takes a thousand years to fill up a glass and Richie has no patience, sothis is a problem.

When theglass is finally full, he turns off the water and walks back into the livingroom where Eddie is still sitting in the couch with his math textbook and twonotebooks in front of him. The best way to describe the way he looks is dead.Richie thinks he looks absolutely dead. Like it’s not really him, scribblingdown numbers and letters, but his body just got so used to it and is now doingit by itself.

Richiewalks over to him and places the glass on the table a little to the left of thenotebooks, to make sure it doesn’t spill on Eddie’s work because if Eddie isn’talready dead it would kill him completely. He then sits down next to him and pats him on the thigh lightly, earning atired smile from Eddie. It fills Richie’s stomach with butterflies, and he isonce again surprised by how much Eddie makes him feel like a lovesick fool –which he probably is anyway.

“How’s it goingEds? Finished soon?”, he asks softly and runs his hand through Eddie’s messyhair. It looks like it hasn’t been fixed in days and Richie knows it hasn’t. Eddiejust shrugs with a sigh and stretches his arms shortly.“I need three more problems. So we can go to Mike’s later if you want”. Richienods and glances at the notebooks. Eddie struggles a lot with math and Richiehas offered to help him countless times, but Eddie insists on doing it himself,so that he’ll learn, which Richie admires a lot. He just hates watching Eddie stressaround because of something as stupid as math. “Good job babe. Was it tonight or tomorrow it was due? Also yeah, I’m in. Areyou sure you want to though? Maybe you would like to get some sleep? You’ve sleptlike, four hours in three days”. Richie isn’t even exaggerating. Eddie hasn’tslept at all. His math teacher had decided to give them four days to do a mathassignment with 30 problems. Eddie had been panicking, as he also had otherassignments for earlier this week. Eddie rubs his eyes and picks up the glass to take a sip. He then grabs his penagain. “For tonight. In two hours to be exact. I hope that’s enough time”. He looksalmost pained as he says it and Richie can’t help but frown.  “And yeah, I’m sure. I haven’t seen them forreal this week, I miss hanging out with them”, he then continues and Richienods. “You can do it Eds, I believe in you. It’s three problems, you’ll be done in notime. And about Mike’s. If you say so. It’s ok if you just wanna stay homethough, I understand. They will too. I’ll go grab my headphones, so you can concentrate.Just please remember to ask if anything’s tricky”. He kisses Eddie’s cheekbefore getting up from the couch.

One and ahalf hours later they hand in Eddie’s assignment together after Richie skimmedit through for any obvious mistakes. When Eddie clicks the button, Richie pullshim into a hug and he feels Eddie’s body relax into his. “See? I told you, you could do it. I’m so proud of you baby”, he mumbles intoEddie’s hair and Eddie pulls back a bit and wipes a tear from his cheek. “I never wanna see another x in my entire life”, he says, his voice breakingand chuckles through the tears. Richie knows he’s crying because he’s finallydone with this, so he doesn’t ask. Instead he just plants a soft kiss to Eddie’slips and pulls him into another hug. “You still wanna go to Mike’s?”, he almost whispers and he feels Eddie nod. “Yeah. I don’t even think I know how it feels not to be tired anymore, so it doesn’tmatter”. They both chuckle and then gets up to get ready to leave.

When theyarrive at Mike’s, all the losers greet Eddie with hugs. They also know how hardhe has been struggling these past days. Richie can’t help the huge smile on hisface when he sees how relaxed Eddie looks now. The bags under his eyes arestill heavy though and Richie has a feeling they won’t be staying over forlong. After an hour of talking and joking around, they all settle in the livingroom and Mike puts on a movie for them to watch. Eddie is cuddled up next toRichie and Richie once again feels the butterflies in his stomach. He loves itwhen Eddie curls up next to him during movies. It makes him feel weirdly proud,like he is the only person in the world for Eddie. He knows he is, but hethinks it’s nice when it gets confirmed. He glances down at Eddie and it’sobvious that the boy is very sleep-deprived. Richie is almost certain Eddie isgoing to fall asleep during the movie, which doesn’t bother Richie at all, hedoesn’t mind carrying Eddie to bed.

Halfwaythrough the movie, Richie gets up to go pour himself some coffee. He is gettingtired himself and it’s dark outside, so he feels like it’s the safest to drinksome coffee, now that he’s going to be driving home later. Just when he goes to gets up though, he hears Eddie whine and the smaller boyclings to him in an attempt of getting him to stay. Richie chuckles and placeshis hand on Eddie’s cheek lovingly. “Babe, I’m just going to go grab some coffee, I’ll be back in less than aminute, you won’t even notice I’m gone”, he whispers and Eddie pouts at him fora few seconds, before finally letting go. Richie smiles softly at him and then halfruns to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. Stan often jokes that heis whipped and honestly, Richie can’t even deny it. He is the most whipped boyfriendever, but he doesn’t even care. He loves his boy and he wants to do anything tomake him happy and if that means running to the kitchen to get coffee, then sobe it. When he gets back into the living room and sits down again, it takes less thana second for Eddie to get onto Richie’s lap and wrap himself around him. Richiefeels like he wants to cry. Eddie isn’t normally clingy, but he is when he getstired and Richie has never seen him this tired before. He doesn’t mind, really.Actually he loves it. Eddie is the cutest thing, when he wraps himself aroundRichie, like he’s a koala.

Eddie fallsasleep on Richie’s lap, while planting sloppy kisses to Richie’s neck. Richiedrinks his coffee as quietly as he can and when the movie ends he places hishands under Eddie’s thighs and stands up. Eddie isn’t heavy, so it isn’t superhard to carry him. Eddie wakes up a bit and Richie feels him tighten his grabaround him, making Richie kiss him softly under the ear. It’s Eddie’s favoritespot, he’s discovered, and he earns a satisfied grunt from Eddie and he loosensthe grab again. He says bye to the other losers and then carries Eddie out to the car and opensthe passenger side door. He goes to place Eddie in the seat, but Eddie refusesto let go. “No..”, he mumbles groggily and Richie smiles. “Eddie, we’re gonna drive home, you need to let go so I can drive”, he sayssoftly but Eddie just tightens his grab and Richie laughs defeated. “Eds please. I’m gonna crash if I drive with you on my lap”. It takes a fewseconds for Eddie to let go of Richie and Richie is quick to put him in theseat, buckle his seatbelt and close the door, before going around the car tothe driver’s side. He gets in the car and turns it on, before glancing at Eddie.Eddie is curled up on the seat and his hand immediately grabs Richie’s, makingRichie smile even wider. They drive home, Richie driving slowly, not to hit anybumps in the road that could disturb Eddie’s peaceful state. The moonlightshines though the window, hitting Eddie, making him light up like an angel.Richie looks at him with such love in his eyes. The boy curled up on the seatnext to him is his whole life. Richie doesn’t believe his life would have anymeaning if Eddie wasn’t in it. Everything he does, he does to make Eddie happy.He doesn’t care what he must do, he’ll kill if it makes Eddie smile.

When theyarrive at their apartment, Richie goes around the car and carries Eddie out ofthe car again, careful not to hit his head on anything, and up to theapartment. Eddie clings on to him immediately and Richie’s stomach hurts fromthe butterflies. When they get into the bedroom, he places him carefully on the bed and thanksthe lord that Eddie wore sweats and a t-shirt to Mike’s, so he doesn’t have todeal with getting him undressed. He gets undressed himself and then gets intothe bed next to Eddie, wrapping his arms around him. Eddie places his head onRichie’s chest and wraps one arm and one leg around him. Richie admires hissleeping boyfriend with a soft smile, while tracing patterns onto Eddie’s backuntil he falls asleep himself.

[shootingstarcipher-blog]

Stardust (Chapter 1 - The Perfect Life)

Eddie couldn’t remember how they met. He thought it might have been in hospital, but then maybe that’s because he was lying awake in hospital right then, his mind overflowing with thoughts of Richie Tozier. Even though his greatest fear was coming true that very second. He was dying – he knew it. Even though he was always being made fun of for his fragility, even though he was constantly being told not to overreact and that he was nothing more than an over-dramatic hypochondriac, he knew at that moment he was dying. He was slipping away and all he could think of was Richie fucking Tozier.

And he hadn’t been able to stop thinking of him since that morning when it all began.

While he hated the idea of him never taking responsibility for his own actions, in a way he thought it was all Ben Hanscom’s fault. Ben, whose bright idea it had been to celebrate the beginning of summer with a sleepover, had somehow managed to convince his family to invite the rest of the Loser’s Club over and, seeing as they were guests in his home, he was the one who chose the sleeping arrangements. Beverly had slept in the bed whilst almost everyone else had ended up in sleeping bags sprawled across the floor, but as there wasn’t enough space for six people to sleep on the floor without it getting uncomfortable both Eddie and Richie wound up on the sofas in the living room, each with a pillow to rest on and a blanket for warmth.

They didn’t mind and in fact Eddie was glad to spend some time alone with Richie, until the older boy noticed how much he was relying on his inhaler that night and how his hands were shaking as he held it to his mouth, and the way his eyes snapped open instinctively before he could even begin to drift off to sleep. He was afraid and Richie knew it.

He’d lazily waved Eddie over and the younger boy had breathed deeply into his inhaler one final time before pushing back the blanket and crossing the floor to his friend, who in turn pushed away his own blanket and rolled onto his side, creating a small amount of space for Eddie. Eddie expected it to be uncomfortable but it wasn’t. Lying there with the heat of Richie’s chest pulsing through to his own, their faces almost touching but not quite, he thought to himself that nothing had ever felt so right in his life.

His fears were dissolving into a sweet sort of serenity he rarely felt, the drumming beat of Richie’s heart lulling him to sleep faster than he would have imagined.

It was only when he awoke the next morning, his face burrowing into the crook of Richie’s neck, that he felt his cheeks start to burn a deep shade of scarlet and he suddenly felt insecure, several of his friends staring at him while Richie slept peacefully beside him, oblivious to their watchful gazes. Stan decided to rather unhelpfully point out that they could have slept on their own individual sofas and asked whether he’d realised it would have been more comfortable that way. Eddie simply bit his lip and scowled, covering his face to hide his obvious blush.

Richie walked him home later that morning, their houses being relatively close together. They were the first two to leave Ben’s house and, while he may have simply been paranoid, Eddie was sure he heard snickering from his friends as they walked away.

He remained silent the entire time whereas Richie never shut up, repeatedly making jokes that he didn’t really find very funny but he laughed anyway because it was Richie.

When they reached the porch of Eddie’s house it became apparent that his anxious disposition stemmed from having to return home to his mother and, in acknowledgement of the fear he could see radiating from every trembling step the younger boy took towards his own home, Richie revealed a side of himself that not many people ever had the privilege of seeing. Following him up the steps, he reached out and took his hand, pulling him into something that was not quite an embrace but very nearly. It lasted for well over a minute and all Eddie could do was smile to himself at the feeling.

Richie disappeared a moment later, his slender silhouette vanishing around the corner just as Eddie’s mother opened the door.

Eddie only wished then, as he lay awake in bed with his gaze fixated on the hospital ceiling, that he had taken another moment or two to take in his best friend’s features – like the gentle waves of his hair, the way he pushed his glasses higher up on his face with his index finger whenever they slipped down too far, and how his dark eyes could suddenly become intense when he felt a powerful surge of emotion. He was really going to miss those things about him. And his stupid jokes that still managed to elicit a snicker from him, and the perpetual bickering that they both secretly enjoyed.

An angry beeping sound screeched at him from his bedside table, bringing his reminiscent reverie to an abrupt end. He snatched up his pills and swallowed them whole in response, years of experience making it second nature to him – so much so that he no longer needed to chase them down his throat with a glass of water.

His heartbeat was slowing. Maybe he wasn’t dying after all… But if that was the case, then why would he have been admitted to hospital? The doctors knew what they were talking about, so why admit him if everything was alright?

It hit him then that none of his friends even knew where he was. His mother had rushed him to hospital so damn fast he hadn’t had the chance to call any of them and let them know what was happening, and since then she hadn’t let him anywhere near the phone, insisting that he was so delicate that just walking down the corridor could be damaging to him. But he was feeling better now. The closest phone wasn’t far away (just a couple of doors away, on the wall outside his room). He glanced over at his mother, who was sleeping in the chair beside his bed, whispered a barely audible apology for his disobedience and slipped out of bed.

Upon reaching the phone he grabbed it from its place on the wall, held it firmly to his ear and dialled one of the only two numbers he knew by heart – Richie’s. He answered in a heartbeat.

“Eds? Are you okay?” He sounded half-asleep but not at all irritated by his late-night phone call, though Eddie immediately felt guilty for waking him up in the middle of the night.

“I’m… I’m in hospital – something to do with my heart but I don’t know why… I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been taking my pills but I still ended up in here…” There were tears clinging to his eyelashes now, threatening to fall if he said anything else.

A few seconds of silence went by before Richie spoke up again. “I’ll be there in half an hour. Don’t go anywhere.” He hung up before Eddie had the chance to respond, leaving him standing there in the hallway, wondering where the hell he could have gone had Richie not told him to stay put. By the end of their miniscule conversation, the exhaustion had vanished from Richie’s voice, panic and concern in its place.

Returning to his room, Eddie did as his mother had told him earlier that day and woke her up to let her know he was feeling better; he did so from his bed, calling to her from across the room because he knew how she would react if she saw him out of bed for anything other than going to the bathroom. Within a matter of seconds she had left the room to find a nurse to inform them of the development of her son’s condition, while Eddie closed his eyes in the hopes of getting a few minutes sleep before Richie got there – though he suspected he wouldn’t be able to see him anyway (firstly because it was the middle of the night and he doubted the hospital staff would let him in, and even if he did manage to get in, he suspected his mother would put a stop to his visit the instant she found out about it).

She never had seemed to like Richie. Well, she’d always had something against each of his friends but she seemed to dislike Richie the most, never referring to him by his first name (always “that Tozier boy”) and refusing to have him in the house for more than a few minutes. She would have hated it if she’d caught sight of their not-quite-an-embrace that morning. And what’s more, she would have had an aneurysm if she’d known how last night’s sleeping arrangements had ended up.

Fortune was for once on Eddie Kaspbrak’s side and he found himself drifting off to sleep, the sound of a fist knocking against the glass window across from him waking him up just over thirty minutes later.

He glanced at the chair where his mother had been sitting earlier on. She was asleep again, snoring softly. With a small smile playing on his lips, he crossed the floor to the window which he promptly lifted open, allowing his visitor to climb inside. “How did you manage to get here at this time? Aren’t your parents mad? Do they even know you’re here?”

Shushing him, Richie shook his head, his stare gravitating to Eddie’s sleeping mother. “Jeez, she never leaves you alone, does she?” he joked, quietly striding over to the bed she was sitting beside. “Don’t worry about how I got here, Eddie. What’s important is that I am here.”

It was true and the simple fact that he was there was comforting enough to elicit a stifled yawn from him as he crawled back into bed, with Richie sitting cross-legged and incredibly wide-awake opposite him. “Eds, if you’re tired, just sleep. I’ll stay here until they drag me out kicking and screaming, I promise.” He smiled as if he was joking, but something about the way he said it made Eddie suspect – and hope – that he wasn’t.

But before he went back to sleep, Eddie wanted to speak with him in case he didn’t get a chance to later. “Something’s wrong with my heart, Rich. I don’t know why, but it keeps beating really fast and sometimes I can barely breathe – but it’s different to my normal attacks… I don’t know.”

“Lemme guess,” Richie started after thinking for a moment. “It happens when you think about a certain person, and after you start you just can’t stop thinking about them?” Eddie stared, amazed at how quickly he’d managed to comprehend his symptoms, and nodded, asking how he knew. “Just a hunch,” the older boy shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips and if Eddie hadn’t known any better, he would have sworn Richie was blushing.

Yawning again, the younger boy stretched out his arms before laying back down, pulling the blanket over himself for warmth. Richie curled up at the bottom of the bed, his every action that day – as far as Eddie was concerned – a symbol of his loyalty.