#should I spoil limbo?? ok I will | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pumpkin-pi-e · 3 years

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Ok... fluffy prompt. I hope dark fluff counts!

Platonic yandere erasermic where either one (though preferably Aizawa, tbh) scoop up an angry/upset darling and rock with them in a rocking chair until darling is calmed down and not fighting them. Then rock a lil longer for good measure *smirk*.

The other yandere can either be helping them, or off working?

Hope this gave you something to play with!

Dark fluff definitely counts! I’m sorry if it’s not too refined, I usually keep requests for up to a week to make sure they’re polished, but I didn’t want you wait that long. I added a non platonic imagine under the cut, I hope that’s okay!

Warning for a/b/o mention under the cut.

When you’re acting fussy, Aizawa puts you down for a little nap. On occasions where their kitten is spitting and hissing—concealed fear under a mask of volatile anger, Zashi (ever quick to appease) offers whatever he can think of to pacify you. Overindulging, the blonde does what he can to fix the problem. That’s what’s wrong, isn’t it? You’re unhappy with something. That’s gotta be it. Perhaps you’re not satisfied with the color they picked for your walls. Maybe it doesn’t match your personality as they’d originally thought. The poor DJ is on the verge of whining, distress crashing against him in horrible, sickening waves; the nauseating motion twisting his stomach as you shoot down every attempt. He’s seconds away from swaying at the sea-sickness it inspires. Aizawa has an unorthodox method. You’re only bearing your claws because you’re overtired, overwhelmed. Overstimulated from the new life you still haven’t settled into. Poor dear. You’re stressed, and don’t know how to channel it in a healthy outlet. Oh, you’re a feisty little thing. You erupt with such passion. The roar of a lion, but you’re a scared little mouse beneath it all. You just need love, reassurance. And rest.

“Come here, kitten.” It held no animosity, no urgency. Bereft of any demand. It’s an invitation for you to fall into him, and leave those turmoils right there where you stood.

You’re brought gently into waiting arms via capture weapon, secured and wrapped in tight warmth like a baby harness. Aizawa shushes those panicked protests with patience only a father could muster, a warm croon like the drone of a humming stereo, a depth so throughly understanding as he hums a tune of peaceful serenity, the calming push and pull of water sidling up to the shore—the song of the ocean. You’re encouraged to take shelter under the crook of his neck, so you can feel its melody. Calloused hands, roughened from years of use — the abrasive friction of cloth sliding against soft fingers that felt like hot irons on occasion tenderly pat its beat in the center of your back. Striving to help you find your center. That slumberous limbo which came before sleep. Maintaining a tenor to compliment Shōta’s soothing alto, Zashi joins his lullaby — cuddling up to your side for comfort. The intent isn’t to silence. It’s to calm you.

“We can talk about it once you’ve settled down.” Aizawa reassured. His hushed voice is downy satin, softer than the fabric draped over you. Embosomed in the heat of his chest, the steady rhythmic pump of his heart forces you to unwind and match its even pace.

“You can tell us all about what’s got ya signin’ screamo after you’ve chilled for a lil bit.”

There’s no hope of struggle, not when you’re safeguarded the way you are. Those hands won’t be harming them or yourself. You could tire yourself out with enough determination. All the easier for them to put you down for a nap, Aizawa reasons. His leg sets the chair in motion, a back-and-forth wavelet gentle enough to mimic the lazy tide. You’re pampered with song and spoiled with warmth.

They coo, shushing you like a newborn. If you’re overstrung, you��re welcome to vent in the safe-haven of his skin. He’s a pillar of emotional support, your shoulder to cry on should you need it. Shōta lets you cry it out. Encourages it even.

When the sniffles have stopped, and that indignation over being rocked like a cranky toddler has subsided, you muffle a question from the closeness of his shirt. “…can you let me go now?”

“Not just yet.” The erasure hero answers, kissing the top of your head. It’s for their benefit as much as yours. Unwilling to part with the lovely heat, the serenity of your company, Shōta stubbornly holds you a little while longer—refusing to let you go.

[A version with the struggle if that’s what you were wanting!]

“A certain beloved listener needs a hug. You got a case of the grumps.” Zashi figures you’re hurtin’ for some lovin’.

“Someone needs a nap.” Shōta stresses. The hero knows from past mistakes that you won’t willingly come to him. Bypassing the struggle that would’ve inevitably taken place, you’re snatched from where you’d stood previously. Quick as a whip. Hizashi is most likely to scoop you up and cradle you right then and there.

Aizawa’s head tilts, regarding you like some anomaly he couldn’t make sense of, one which belonged in a laboratory. He mulled over the strange sight, the skittish little kitten he brought home bearing her fangs. As if to ward off a predator, you puffed out your chest, standing tall on those fidgety legs that couldn’t quite commit to your brave front. You’re a cub imitating its mother—going through the motions, but lacking the ferocity and killer intent. It’s clumsy. Those calculating eyes watch you flinch as he raises a hand to prop on his hip.

“Listen-!”

He is. The two of you can talk like adults, he’s listening.

“I’m not afraid of you!”

His eyebrow quirks. The tremble in your voice is telling. He’s not sure if that statement is for you or him.

His height is clearly intimidating you. While he wants to avoid making any sudden movements that might panic you, it could give you a fraction of peace. Splaying his palms outward in submission, he inches to his knees, monitoring your face to gauge your response. You do little more than eye him skeptically.

Give ‘em an inch, they take a mile.

Inflated from seeing your captor kneel before you, you fly off the handle—demands and threats hurled in his direction. A tremble sets into your bones as the hysteria crept in. Before long, you’re shrieking and crying, the composure you’d feigned up ‘til this point shattering. Now that it had fallen, there was no putting it back together. Hiccups weave with your tears. They become more frequent, and you find they aren’t hiccups as you’d thought, but quick frantic gasps for breath.

Shōta weathered your tantrum, figuring you had a lot of pent-up stress to get off your shoulders, but he couldn’t have you getting sick or fainting.

Vibrations caressed your skin, brushing your cheeks and wiping them clean. Your heart skipped before descending back into its steady pace. Peace washed over you, but it wasn’t natural. It was coerced.

The snarl you rip is something you never knew your throat could manage, neither did Aizawa. He paid it no heed, purring louder opposed to stopping.

“Let me feel what I’m feeling! Am I not entitled to that at least?!”

“Enough.” It isn’t a command. It’s a quiet request.

He tore off the patch suppressing his scent. This must be something hormonal, something he, as an alpha, couldn’t understand. He may not understand, but he can help.

There’s determination in his jaw.

He will help. You won’t deny him that.

It’s his right as your mate.

A whine inspiring his pity left your throat when that husky smell surrounded you. It’s heavy with no dilution. Without ventilation, courtesy of tightly latched windows, he’s all you can detect. He’s the heat in your veins—the infectious sensation that titillated the primal switch in your brain. Your eyes are wild, feral, when they land on him. Blown and glossy, expanding the longer he’s in your view.

You fight like a hellcat when he gives you a warm seat on his lap. That ferocity doubles when he hides you in his neck, right against his scent glands.

“You don’t have to fight anymore.”

You could spit the acrid taste of his words right back at him if you weren’t busy huffing the spiced cinnamon of his skin. It’s disgusting and you hate it. You hate how intoxicating it is. How calming it is. How it called to your tumultuous heart and begged it to relax, shushing its fears. It’s tinged with warm-familiarity and laced with nicotine.

“Isn’t this better?” He asked, cradling you gently with one hand and keeping your head in place with the other. You’re forced to unwind, and take deep breaths of that ataraxia remedying the panic slowly fading from your system.

Enough screaming. No more crying. Just relax in his scent. Unwind in his presence.

You slump against him, boneless. That salted caramel sapped the fight right out of you. It was every comfort item wrapped in one—homey smells of decadent desserts that left you full and had your eyes drooping. It was smoky and sweet. A sugared candle of butterscotch with a hint of wood.

The satisfied hum he breathed travels through you, tickling the pleasure receptors in your brain, leaving in a shiver. “Isn’t it nice having someone providing for your needs?”

He eases to the floor, lying on his back. You follow as if sewn to him. Aizawa no longer has to hold you in place. Thoughtful arms warm your waist because they want to. For an alpha, he’s needy in the touch department. Not clingy, per se. His need is silent longing, an ache in his chest when he’s outside your presence, the solace it offers—a gap in his heart as if a piece of him were missing. The piece that you carried. He can’t be at peace without a reminder of you nearby. Shōta is a creature of comfort, he likes to keep his comfort items close. That raw hallow cavity, tender as a rotten tooth, an infected wound, the insufferable twinge, is why you’re currently in his arms. It’s to blame for your relocation, confined to this lonely cabin.

A getaway you never asked for.

You’re a hot press on sore muscles, abating the phantom pains of past injuries incurred from his hero work. They’ve healed, the less severe of them, but those open scars still bled mentally. It was a persistent sufferance, one that never went away. There are some wounds time can’t heal. His burns are too deep, scalded to the last layer of tissue. That type of trauma can’t be outlived. It burned through sinew; the damage to his psyche was irreversible. It’s stained in red from the amount of times he’d martyred himself. The harrowing moments made immortal in his dreams, the respite of sleep bittersweet. They replay behind his eyes, staining his vision red, the color overtaking him as his head repeatedly bashes into unforgiving concrete; that horrible pounding is the grating rhythm that forces him into unconsciousness. Even in his false reprieve, that repetitive belabor is the lullaby playing in the background. Numb to the impact, but his torment continues outside of awareness.

Time won’t renew him, make him whole again, but you do a damn good job of distracting him, taking the edge off. You aren’t a healer, your quirk is much more mundane, extra ordinary. Nonetheless, you’re still his novocaine, his dream-catcher.

Nose nuzzled in the crux of his throat, he’s inhaled endlessly for what felt like a lifetime, and then a millennia more. His musky scent is a drug, a narcotic to be exact. Sleep flirts with your eyelids, seducing them to close for just a little longer each lethargic blink. A growl scares it off for the time being. Undeterred, it came back to tempt you. Shōta’s purr ramps up. Beneath you, he’s a certified massage therapist; the thrum in your skin solidified you, kneaded knots that further reduced you to putty.

The world is harsh and unkind. He’s seen it. It’ll eat you if you let it. Why won’t you let him protect you from it? Shōta won’t let it take from you what it did from him.

#I smell favoritism #answered ask!#please come again! ☺️#lol this is the fastest I’ve ever answered an ask #I hope my writing style isn’t hard to read?#if so I can rewrite it for you! ❤️#yandere erasermic x reader

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handonhaven · 2 years

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Thoughts on latest episode? I’m watching through you.

Ohh ok, I guess that means I’m okay to spoil it for you? The episode was honestly better than I thought it was gonna be. But I had VERY low expectations going in, like I was not expecting anything good, so that helped me not be so disappointed. There were definitely still a lot of inconsistencies and ooc moments though. With Hope making the whole decision to become the tribrid last episode, which was very rushed because she felt she had to kill Malivore as soon as possible to save the people he was hurting, but then she’s in limbo and suddenly thinking she should just go find peace? Like? (Also, don’t get me started on what they’re doing with “peace” and messing with what was established on TVD/TO...) I get her hesitation, but they had her hesitating more after she was already dead and had made the decision, so I found that strange. That, plus her starting to fight Malivore after she completed her transition even though she’d said he was in “the one person on the planet I can’t bring myself to fight”? That pissed me off, as well as the fact that she was about to kill Malivore knowing Landon was still in there, up until Malivore let Landon have control. That was just so ooc, and went against so much of what she said last season. And I’m always gonna be pissed that Hope didn’t do more to try and save Landon after all she’d said throughout season 3, also totally ooc. Especially when Josie suddenly came up with a way to save Landon and Cleo? Like why did they not do that earlier? So I’m mad about that, and that they didn’t actually fight fate when I thought that was the whole point. And I still think it was totally unnecessary for Landon to die. Those are my main complaints, but I’m gonna try my best to ignore all that because it’s just bad writing and obviously done for plot reasons.

But thankfully there was other stuff to help make up for it. Like I’m really glad that when Hope was in limbo, she said she wouldn’t be able to handle the grief if she killed Landon. I’m glad they actually acknowledged that and totally went through with that with Hope turning off her humanity! And also that once Hope and Landon reunited, they had Hope feeling like she couldn’t kill him and wasn’t gonna do it until Landon convinced her. That’s how I thought it should be because I can’t imagine Hope ever just doing it without having to be pushed and convinced to do it. So I’m glad she was at least resisting. And then the fact that she flipped her switch right when she killed him was just so fitting and made perfect sense. And that’s something I wanted to happen too, if Landon was gonna die again. Because with Handon’s pause, I had been so worried what the reason would be, and had thought Hope believing Landon was dead and flipping her switch was the only way it would make sense. So the fact that it happened? I’m so glad tbh because this is the only thing that justifies a separation imo. And fits overall with how Hope would realistically react. I would’ve been so mad if they’d just had Hope carrying on after losing Landon again. So I was quite relieved they did that actually.

I do wish we’d gotten more of a reunion though and that it had lasted longer, but I’m also just so glad we got one at all! I mean, I always hope it’s gonna be a bit more emotional, I’d always love to see tears. But I feel like focusing more on emotions is not the writers’ forte. And it did feel a bit rushed, of course, because I’m always gonna want more, especially when we waited a whole season for this. But at least we got what we did, definitely better than nothing! There were some really beautiful moments! Although parts of it killed me, of course! 😭

So yeah, lots of issues with the episode, but also good bits that did thankfully feel true to the characters. It’s just a shame they can’t maintain that kind of writing. But thank goodness we got some good moments! And I’m very anxious to see what happens to Landon and how he’ll come back. Annoyed that he’s stuck with Ted (better than the Necromancer, but still). And I’ll be even more annoyed if they continue to ignore all that he’s been through, but I’m also expecting it. Especially considering they didn’t even explain any of the many questions left over from season 3. Also disappointed Malilandon lasted for such a short time, and still feel like we never really even learned as much about him as we should have, that was a waste. But I’m also excited to see Hope away from the school, and am loving that she doesn’t want her friends to follow her, it’s about time. So I’m feeling a lot better about what’s to come. I just hope they don’t screw it up.

#answered #4x04 #spoilers #legacies spoilers

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idontfindyouthatinteresting · 4 years

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For fic writers, artists, or people who just want to know what on earth is going on with this game, I’ve created some resources, the first of these is the Glossary, there will also be...

Character Profiles / Plot Outline

ALL OF THESE CONTAIN HUGE SPOILERS - THEY ARE THE FACTS AS I KNOW THEM - READING THIS WILL SPOIL THE GAME FOR YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. If there’s anything that’s wrong let me know with a source to the correct answer, but I haven’t written anything I’ve not been sure of, but this is all based on my memory of the game, if there’s terms that should be added, please let me know.

Aphenphosmphobia - The fear of being touched. Sam suffers with this for a long time in the game, even unable to let the woman who raised him from infancy to touch him on her death bed. The only person we see comfortably touch Sam for most of the game is Amelie on her beach in his youth, he even hugs her. Sam will recoil at the idea of being touched in any way, even over clothes unless he is prepared. Fragile needs to touch his skin to transport him, he seems to prepare himself for this and suffers through it as he needs to be touched. As the story progresses Sam becomes more comfortable being touched, by the end he hug’s Deadman voluntarily.

Beaches - a kind of limbo, the pathway from the world of the living to the world of the dead. Appeared or made accessible after the death stranding. The wave of anti matter that will destroy humanity will come through the beach, specifically Amelie’s beach. Everyone has an individual beach, but as chiral matter increases, the beaches start to combine. Those with more severe DOOMs are able to travel to their beaches and use them to teleport. Time on the beach runs slower than in real life. Heartman is searching the beaches for his wife and child whenever he dies, he has 3 minutes to search before he’s brought back to life. Someone with DOOMs can teleport others, but strong bonds or tailsman’s are needed to go to someone else’s beach. Amelie’s Ka is stuck on her beach, and her beach is considered a ‘super beach’ because she’s an Extinction Entity. Beaches are personal and individual.

Beached Things - Also known as BT’s - BT’s come in multiple forms, there are humanoid forms, floating fuzzy people, foetal forms, floating fuzzy babies and monster BT’s, like an enormous squid, lion, or whale. They’re characterized by tar coverings/pools and are souls which have become stranded in the ‘real’ world. These souls have umbilical cords to the other side. They are sensitive to movement and sound, so staying still, not talking, crouching and therefore moving slowly, or in extremis, not breathing will help you to sneak past them without them knowing. Touching them unless you can defend yourself will mean being dragged into the tar. Mama weaves Sam’s blood into an alloy and integrates it into his cufflinks and he can use that to cut the umbilical cords of BT’s and send them back to the world of the dead where they belong, for this they give Sam ‘likes’ as a thank you, grateful to be sent back.

Bridges - Porter company, heavily integrated with the idea of connecting America together and therefore becoming the UCA, but there are some locations which can have connection with Bridges (or Fragile Express) but not want to part of the UCA. Bridges 1 was an expedition lead by Amelie to create the network, ending at Edge Knot City.

Bridge Babies - Also known as BB’s - They’re 28 week old foetus’ taken from their mothers womb, their ‘still mother’ and put into pods, these pods stop them growing and are designed to be artificial wombs for them to live inside. These BB’s have connections to both the ‘real’ world and the world of the dead, because they’re classed as never having been alive. Because of this property, they’re able to detect matter from the other side, and therefore detect BT’s. The UCA experimented with BB’s, but the project was discontinued because of ethical concerns, the project was continued the secret. BB’s are therefore used with an Odradek by people working outside of the safety of the cities to help them negotiate their way through BT territory. BB’s are said to only be useful for 1 year and then they’re deactivated and their bodies burnt so they don’t necrotize. The UCA (Bridget/Amelie) also used the BB’s as the basis for the chiral network in each of the knot cities, so there is a BB in each of the cities as the base code to keep the network online, Sam has to deliver Edge Knot Cities BB to bring the city online. BB’s maintain their connection with the dead by being placed in the incubator in a private room, and therefore being linked to their still mother, this is the ‘percentage’ score that presents on the incubator. At a point during the story, Sam’s BB begins to be more in the world of the living than the dead because of their connection with Sam being so strong, this causes an issue with the BB’s effectiveness.

Chiralgrams - holograms of people, projected either into the terminals of cities and waystations or into rooms to have conversations. People can appear to be places they aren’t, or to keep them safe from the outside world. If not on the Chiral network, the producer of the Chiralgram will be fuzzy, when on the Chiral Network the image gets clearer.

Chiralium - A dangerous element which comes to the ‘real’ world through the beach, it’s toxic to humans, and over exposure can cause depression and suicidal thoughts in humans, however it’s also used in Chiral printers to allow humans to produce things like bridges and roads quickly. Increases in Chiralium in the atmosphere are caused by heavy rain (Timefall) and can increase BT activity. The Death Stranding is characterized by Chiralium coming through into the ‘real’ world. Chiralium can become a physical item through Chiral crystals which grow from the ground when BT’s are destroyed. Sam collects Chiral crystals in a pod given to him by Heartman.

Chiral Network - Sam’s main task in the game is to bring as many terminals (cities, waystations, individual citizens) onto the Chiral Network using the Q-pid, this network is possible because of the Chiralium which comes from the beach. It allows the seamless transfer of information, designs and plans, it brings medical equipment online. There is a lot of reasons why many stations want to be on the chiral network, but some of the preppers are cautious about signing up and have to be persuaded.

Cufflinks - Worn by Bridges operatives, it serves many purposes, helps you keep a track of your cargo, contains maps and mail, and acts as a tracker and allows access to terminals, it also monitors the wearers vitals. It’s a blue when the wearer is ok, yellow when there’s health instability and red at critical. Cufflinks are placed onto Sam against his will when he’s brought into bridges and he can’t take them off himself. When asleep, one half of the cufflinks disconnect from the wrist, and he has to put it back on when he wakes up, the other side is permanently locked onto him and you can see where it rubs his skin red raw. Mama turns Sam’s cufflinks into an anti-BT weapon as detailed above. Deadman deactivates Sam’s cufflinks before he leaves to take Lou’s body to the incinerator at the end of the game, this gives Sam the option to remove them and burn them if he wants. Sam does this, terminating his Bridges employment at the same time.

D.O.O.M’s - Brought into the world through Amelie as she brings back an infant Sam from the dead after Sam and Cliff are killed in the hospital. DOOMs has various levels, from low level abilities, for example Sam who can sense the presence of BT’s to Fragile, who can teleport to beaches and therefore through the real world to Higgs, who has control over timefall and can summon huge BT’s. Heartman also has DOOMs but I cannot recall the level he has, but I do not believe it’s very high as he only has ‘artists impressions’ of what BT’s look like in his home. People with DOOMs have allergies to Chiralium, and therefore they cry when exposed to too much. The level of DOOMs is dependent on your birthday, with those born in January (Gigas,) mid February to mid March (Pisces,) mid June to mid July (Cancer,) September (Delphinus,) and November (Cetus) most effected.

Extinction Entity - Also known as ‘EE’ - Throughout the game as you bring scientists into the Chiral Network research is uncovered about completely well preserved dinosaurs and invertebrates with umbilical cords, because of the layers of rock, and tar present in the rock, the scientists lead by Heartman begin to believe that there have been previous Death Strandings. These well preseved beings with umbilical cords are said to be ‘Extinction Entities’ signs of the coming extinction and then causes of it. Bridget Strand (the UCA president who passes as the beginning of the game) is found to have an umbilical cord, hidden from the records and passed to Heartman in an delivery by Sam. On this discovery they believe that Amelie is also an extinction entity. Amelie is aware of her fate as an EE as she will cause the extinction and takes a decision to make it happen quickly. She is therefore able to grant Higgs his powers and use him to hasten the end of the world. She is convinced by Sam that humanity is worth giving time, to see if they can evolve quick enough to avoid destruction. The Extinction Entity has a beach which is superior to the rest of humanity, and the antimatter which will end the world comes through to the ‘real’ world through the EE’s beach. Amelie is powerful enough to hold it back if she stays on the beach, but not indefinitely. After discovering that Bridget and Amelie are actually the same person, it’s unclear about whether there are more than 1 extinction entities for the doomed generation.

Fragile Express - A private porter firm, they are the only firm with ships left. Run by ‘Fragile’ the daughter of the man who created the company. Fragile is different from Bridges but they’re doing similar things. People are divided on whether they love or hate Fragile Express, in the vicinity of Lake Knot City, there are some that rely on FE and will only work with Sam if he wears a FE ID (a bracelet called ‘Michanga.’) There are some that hate FE because they believe they’re terrorists and deliberately delivered a nuclear bomb to Middle Knot City, destroying the city, but in actuality FE were tricked by Higgs into bringing the bomb into the city. Higgs attempts to do this again in the story, getting Sam to take a nuclear device to Fragile, luckily Sam manages to throw the bomb into the tar and stop it exploding. After Sam stops Amelie ending the world immediately, Fragile Express is brought on as the first officially sanctioned private porter firm.

‘Going Necro’ - When people die, no matter the cause of death, you have 24 hours before the body will ‘go necro’ the corpse explodes with tar and a BT is born, this is then a huge risk to the cause of voidouts. For this reason, all bodies in Death Stranding are burned as soon as possible, there is a service called ‘corpse disposal’ (orange jumpsuits) who are in charge of taking corpses to the incinerators. There is a huge emphasis on not killing people, lots of the weapons are to stun, (stun bombs which are grenades which knock people out, bola guns which fire strings which tie people up) and many of the guns are described as ‘non-lethal’ or are lethal to BT’s only. As a repatriate, if Sam can find his body, he won’t go necro.

Ha - the name given to your body. Your Ha becomes a BT when someone ‘goes necro.’ Amelie is split at age 20 between her Ha and Ka, her Ha remains in the ‘real’ world and ages naturally, as she ages, she becomes ‘Bridget.’

Ka - the name given to your soul, this part remains once your body is gone, your Ka goes to the beach and then through to the other side. Amelie is spilt at age 20 between her Ha and Ka, Amelie’s Ka stays the same age and lives on the Beach but can project herself into the ‘real’ world.

MULES - Groups who live outside the cities and have an obsessive need (supposedly caused by chiral contamination) to steal and hoard cargo. They have scanners which can detect Bridges and Fragile ID’s on cargo and enables the MULEs to chase down and steal the cargo. There are instances were Sam needs to go and recover items which have been stolen by MULEs. You can clear MULE camps, but shouldn’t kill them, so therefore non-lethal methods, stun bombs, fist fights, bola guns, should be used on them.

Odradek - Initially designed to be a cargo and terrain scanner. It’s fitted to people’s shoulders and helps direct them provides light, and when hooked up to a BB, can indicate the location of BT’s by flapping in the direction of the closest BT. They also seem to express the BB’s emotions, giving BT’s a wave goodbye when they die and giving you a thumbs up if you’re clear of BT’s. They express a white light most of the time, but if danger is close, they become orange. When Higgs gets too close to Sam the Odradek is pointed towards him, demonstrating his BT connected nature, but is trembling in fear at his power. When Higgs tries to shoot Sam, BB uses the Odradek to protect him from the bullets by spinning the Odradek fast to catch the bullets.

Porters - After the Death Stranding, most humans are locked into cities/way-stations and only interact with the outside world through chiralgrams, once connected to the network, equipment and things can be printed using designs and materials, however the transfer of these materials is not possible to do through the chiral network, therefore porters have to bring items like metals, ceramics, alloys, blood, cryptobiotes, medicines to the stations to help people survive. Porters are therefore very important, and without them the human race wouldn’t be able to survive. Sam is a porter and porters wear blue. There are other porters in the game, travelling in small groups of 2 or 3, you can protect them and forge paths for them to travel and you can gift them weapons to keep them safe.

Q-pid - Sam’s necklace, it has hardware and software built and created by Mama and Lockne respectively, this necklace brings terminals at waystations, and knots onto the Chiral Network, linking them up together. This is Sam’s principal goal moving across America. The Q-pid has a Chiral limiter built in, in Sam’s first Q-pid, this fails, causing spikes and therefore extra BT activity, so Mama and Lockne have to replace and fix the Q-pid in the middle of Sam’s journey to restore the balance and mean that Sam can continue to bring terminals onto the network.

Repatriate - Repatriates are people that can direct their Ka back to their Ha when they die and almost come back to life. This means repatriates can avoid death, and survive voidouts. Sam is the only repatriate that you come across in the game, and this is because when he’s shot in his infancy (when Cliff attempts to escape from the hospital with him) and he dies, Amelie sends him back to the world from the beach. Repatriate body fluid (Blood, urine, skin cells from shower water, and excrement) is toxic to BT’s, and therefore you can use these to make weapons. Sam donates his own blood every time he sleeps so weapons can be made. His body fluids are collected at every point to make weapons.

Still Mother - Every BB has a ‘brain dead’ mother which is kept alive to keep the BB’s connected to both worlds. Lisa Bridges, Clifford Unger’s wife and Sam Porter Bridge’s mother is a Still Mother, but is killed by Clifford as a mercy. BB’s have to have a connection to their still mothers maintained to continue to be useful.

Supercell - A storm which causes/is caused by (it’s unclear) a sharp increase in Chiralium density in the air. These storms steal Sam (and in one instance Deadman) and bring him into war zones where he meets Clifford Unger, time in the ‘real’ world stays still whilst Sam is in the supercell. Multiple supercells occur taking Sam to different war zones. Once Cliff is defeated in the supercell Sam can return to the ‘real’ world.

Terrorists - Also known as ‘Separatists’ - There are supposedly different factions, violent groups who are rejecting the idea of the United Cities of America coming together and are rejecting the chiral network. Beyond ideology for a long time the reasons why this is are unclear. The main group you interact with are run by Higgs, who caused the destruction of a city by sending an armed nuclear weapon into it. In the end, Higgs is found to be controlled by Amelie, and therefore the purpose of the terrorists have been to hasten the extinction of mankind for her purposes. Like the MULEs terrorists have scanners, but rather than looking for cargo they search for people.

Timefall - Rain, which after the Death Stranding accelerates the passage of time of anything it touches. Therefore the suits of people who work outside the cities (cargo/corpse disposal) have very sensitive automatic hoods on, the moment rain occurs the hoods release. Timefall causes plants to grow age and die before your eyes in the game. It will physically age your skin if it touches you, Higgs tortures Fragile by making her walk in timefall in her underwear, and this ages her skin. Timefall damages the cargo you carry, making it rust at an accelerated rate so if you’re in timefall for a prolonged period of time it’s best to seek shelter, you can hide in a cave or build ‘timefall shelters.’ Timefall can be an indication that BT’s may be present but does not guarantee it, the heavier the timefall the more BT’s are likely.

United Cities of America - Also known as the UCA - Built by Bridges, a project to try and bring the USA back together again post the Death Stranding. This is involved by connecting cities and stations up to the Chiral Network. Captial Knot City is the easterly most city, with Edge Knot City being the Westerly most. In between (east to west) you have Port Knot City, Lake Knot City, Middle Knot City (destroyed by Terrorist bombing) South Knot City (Terrorists attempted to destroy it but Fragile stopped them,) Mountain Knot City.

Voidout - The crater left behind if BT’s get a hold of a living person, the mixture of the BT’s antimatter hitting living matter creates an explosion. This happened in Manhattan and wiped the city out. Sam is a repatriate, so if a he dies in a voidout he can find his body again and survive.

#Death Stranding #Hideo Kojima #Mads Mikkelsen #Norman Reedus #Glossary #info #resources #mine

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pillow-ghost-nan · 4 years

Text

SPAMANO FANFICTION REC LIST

Because I’m a spamano trash and I think I’ve read way too many fanfictions than I should have.

I will try to keep this list updated. If you know some good story that isn’t here let me know. Also if there’s anything wrong with the sources feel free to message me too

Multichapter:

All of our flaws by lastdreamofmysoul

Antonio is a man whose world revolves around anyone but himself. Lovino is a man with dreams bigger than a job behind a drugstore counter. Antonio is broken; Lovino is incomplete. Will a chance meeting lead them to mending their cracks and finding their missing pieces? Human AU, trigger warning for self-harm. - Ongoing

Credo by Cameron Kennedy

AU, 1502. Fueled by revenge, Lovino Vargas hasn't failed an assassination job yet - but when a new Spanish captain comes to Rome, killing the unorthodox Antonio Carriedo might just be the death of him.

The lemon tree by StarsMadeinHeaven

AU Lovino didn't want to be a slave in that scary mansion. He needed to break free. The fight for independence, however, is a difficult path, and falling in love with the man that destroyed his life doesn't make things any easier.

This fanfiction is just absolutely beautiful. Everything is just 10/10

The Many Personalities of Spain by Writer-Girl-19

England casts a spell to rid himself of Spain. As expected it goes wrong; leaving Romano to deal with the many personalities of Spain. That sounds like a normal day for Romano, right? It would be if the personalities not had their own personifications. - Ongoing

And the Birds Sing No More by Burlesque Romantique

"Don't ever leave me." Lovino said nothing. He allowed the tense heaviness to settle among his shoulders, tighten his lungs, and spread between the space from where he stood to where Antonio was seated lethargically. Antonio's gaze sharpened. Lovino, inclining his head slightly, whispered, "I won't." Spamano, AU

Bottoms Up! by Sunny Day in February

Follow Lovino on his weird and, well, at least quite interesting trip around Europe in order to find out some of the greatest secrets ever about himself, Europe, tomato-shaped alarm clocks and the past of his lovely, but complicated Spanish partner.

This one is just hilarious. It is a bit silly but will definitely make you laugh from the beginning to end.

Softness and Light by betka23

AU. Odrzucany przez bliskich licealista Lovino nieoczekiwanie otrzymuje pomoc od swojego nauczyciela. Choć nie chce się do tego przyznać, coraz bardziej zależy mu na uczuciach Antonia. Spamano, zawiera także lekki FrUK i GerItę.

Translation: Lovino is a high school student rejected by his relatives. All of the sudden he receive help from his teacher, Antonio. Even though he doesn’t want to admit that he cares more and more about Antonio’s feelings. Spamano. FrUK and GerIta mentioned.

So this one is in Polish. If you don’t mind reading with a Google Translate help then I really recommend it. It’s short but it’s an amazing story.

Secret Tunnels from Madrid to Sicily by PrincessSmuttButt

When Antonio Fernández Carriedo begins work as a professor at a prestigious university in Britain, one of his students, a Sicilian boy who goes by the name Romano, immediately catches his eye. He is a clearly gifted writer, who closes himself off in the wake of a dark and painful history. Even wrapped in his darkness, pushing everyone away, Toni finds himself determined to bring out the potential within Romano...They drag each other into a passionate, inevitable affair--doomed, they know, to end in flames.

A very beautiful and mature story. It’s also amazingly written. I cried like little shit at the end.

Tesoro Mio by spinyfruit

Antonio’s the charming, handsome farmer with an infuriating Spanish accent, and Lovino is the mysterious wine entrepreneur who comes and goes. When Antonio falls in love, he throws society, expectations, and religion to the wayside, but can a strict Catholic like Lovino do the same?

We the Dreamers by TheGoliathBeetle

New York City, 1940: Antonio is a recently arrived refugee from Spain, a scarred soldier with firm political convictions. For Lovino, everything is pointless and nothing ever lasts. The two of them live, love and dream desperately, as World War Two threatens to take it all away.

Greasy by evetnt

Summer time 1955, a mechanic equally as hot as the weather had been fixing up Lovino's car for what felt like forever and their fascination with each other grows passed auto-shit and sandwiches even as the pressure from Lovino's over-protective grandfather and greaser/soc gangs rise. -ongoing

Tight Rope by TheFreakZone

Rich, spoiled kid Lovino Vargas hates pirates. Pirate captain Antonio Carriedo hates rich, spoiled kids. None of them ever thought they could feel something different from hatred towards one another. However, Fate seems to have different plans for them, and twists their lives in unexpected ways. -ongoing

Breathless in the Atmosphere by Spinyfruit

Antonio only needed money for marble. He needed to make his art. And a chance encounter on the subway offers him a job as a male escort. It was just for the money. He could stop anytime he wanted to. Really.

The Space Between the Balconies by Spinyfruit

There's a space between the balconies, where glances are stolen, smoke flies, and dreams wander. Lovino draws the blinds, and Antonio opens his windows. They see each other sometimes.

Left me crying like a little baby. This is one of my favourite spamano fanfiction. It’s short but absolutely powerful and touching

Dance with me by StarsMadeinHeaven

AU. Lovino Vargas started taking tango lessons completely by accident. Who would have thought that one day he wouldn't mind those hands roaming over his body? That he would be dancing with his teacher as if there was no one in the room but the two of them? -ongoing

Bésame Mucho by George deValier

WW2 AU. Lovino Vargas only ever wanted something exciting to happen in his boring, everyday Italian village existence. He never expected war, Resistance, love, passion, treason, or a cheerful, confusing, irritatingly attractive Spanish freedom fighter. -ongoing

Ok, I am very aware that everyone knows about this fanfiction but still I couldn’t resist

Numbered Lithograph by youaremarvelous

AU Spain x Romano. When Lovino starts attending art school with his brother he finds his most important lesson doesn't come from his professors, but from a culinary student at a sister school: sometimes the flaws hold the beauty.

Good Vibrations by The Cilantro Family

Lovino wasn't a fun guy to talk to, he knew this very well. When he signed he was speaking, not putting on a show. Usually his expression represented what he was feeling, rather than what he was saying. But this guy, for some reason, was different. He acted like he wanted to talk to Lovino even though Lovino had nothing interesting to say, and no interesting way to say it.

Oh boy, this fanfiction is one of the best things that happened to me. Absolutely recommend

One shots/ Two shots/ short stories:

Before the Snow Falls by Spinyfruit

Lovino, jersey number nine, right winger. He was ready to pass the ball, ready to set up the win, but Antonio, opposite team, center fielder, was ready too. Someone thought, and someone didn't, and they crashed. Hard. A few months later, Lovino's on crutches, Antonio has scholarships, and they have to deal with the aftermath of what happened. —Spamano, two-shot.

Liar by starshards

Spain cannot resist Romano, even though he hates himself for it.

Fool by faerichylde

Spain really was a fool. Otherwise he wouldn't have wanted Romano so badly. After all, fools always want what they don't have.

Rebels in a Sleeping City by konstellasjon

"I felt like we were in limbo, two blindingly awake rebels in this sleeping city. I didn't know your reasons for being up and about. But, you were, and so was I, grinning at you like it was going out of fashion."

Light by annapotterkiku

Lovino was convinced that he didn't have a soulmate.

25 MPH by writingandchocolatemilk

"Any reason you were driving fifteen miles under the speed limit?"

"Safety?"

Officer Vargas frowned. "Yeah, sure. Willing to take a breathalyzer test?"

"No!" Gilbert stumbled out of the car. "That is a bullshit request! Because if you don't, Antonio—"

"I'll shoot you," Officer Vargas muttered, and Antonio wasn't sure he actually heard that. He doesn't think he was supposed to. "Sorry, do you want to take the test, instead?"

Five Times Romano Unintentionally Made Spain Blush by darkhue

...and one time he did it on purpose.

Conversations on Cups by orphan_account

Lovino is not particularly fond of his job: working in a coffee shop can get infuriating, with the long orders and hard to spell names. But frustration at one customer has melded into friendship, and even that’s beginning to shift.

Leading the Blind by steingasse

Lovino Vargas’s life was simple, tedious, and a functional amount of lonely. Then one day a hung-over stranger broke in and passed out on his couch.

Door to Door by Canadino

Do not open the door. It could be a zombie, an unwanted boyfriend of your brother's, or a persistant salesman by the name Antonio Carriedo.

Chalk Dust by counterheist

Lovino Vargas (grandson, philosophy graduate, teacher, brother, man): 1. Fate: a lifetime. It’s a start.

The Spaniard and Death by Oboeist3

The tale of a young reaper, a heavy soul, and perhaps a bit of love.

whose thing is this anyway by ShippingEverything

In which Lovino and Antonio get their clothes, among other things, mixed up

Lovers by fuckingtomatoes

Antonio loved him. He loved everything about him

Language Barrier by TheFreakZone

Even though he doesn't understand him, Antonio loves talking to Lovino in Spanish. Lovino doesn't say it, but he loves it too.

It’s a story based on a prompt that Antonio thought that Lovino doesn’t know any Spanish so he kept saying many filthy things because he was sure that Lovi did not understand. Oh boy was he wrong Super cute and hot

Non Omnis Moriar by Burlesque Romantique

Antonio knew that once someone is bitten, they're dead after dying. So all he can do is run.

Unrighteous by SnowyWolff

Lovino has been unrighteously charged for crimes he did not commit and has been sent to teach at a remote northern Magical College. There, he meets Antonio, who makes the never-ending cold a little warmer.

Lifeline by antiheroics

AU (human names used); Suicidal Lovino Vargas makes a suicide pact online with equally suicidal Antonio. They meet, they get mistaken for a couple out on a date, they drink a lot of badtasting vodka, and Lovino begins to wonder not so much if he wants to kill himself, but if he wants Antonio to.

32 Thursdays by counterheist

Antonio is a physics student in love. To Lovino’s embarrassment, so is he.

Aroma by Jacquzy

This is how it happens; how Antonio Fernández Carriedo comes to fall in love with the sweet-scented child seven years his junior.

Progression by Horribibble

When the Vargas Famiglia lost its Don, Lovino was abruptly faced with all of his nightmares. The worst of which wants nothing more than to give him a kiss.

A Trip To The Cinema by lullabyemyuu

Surrounded by the ruins of the ruined cinema, an elderly Lovino both remembers and forgets.

I wouldn't if I were you by starshards

Romano comes to the shocking realisation that people actually think that Spain is attractive.

Cupcake by writingandchocolatemilk

"No, Lovino!" Feliciano pointed, tears evaporating. "It's a dog!"

"What?" Lovino looked around. "That's a fucking bear."

"Lovino," Antonio hissed, "be respectful! No swearing!"

"Shi—sorry. Antonio, look at that dog." Lovino pointed. "Look, it's a bear."

Ludwig leaned closer. "That's a newfoudland."

Lovino scowled at him. "That's a bear."

Disgustingly Sweet by Sunny Day in February

We all have this urge sometimes.

El Despertar by Tyranno's girl

Or 'The Awakening'. This world is filled with many strange things, people, and occurrences. Once must always be careful of who they put their trust into; everyone has a dark secret behind the mask they don in the day.

Spostare by Canadino

She was just one girl, one body in the whole human race, that made him realize he was undeniably, helplessly attracted to Antonio; and she was the one who stole Antonio's heart away. High school AU, onesided Spain/Romano

How It Is by counterheist

This is how it is in the house of the never-setting sun.

on the dimensionality of an n-night stand by counterheist

Antonio is the one night stand who just won’t leave.

Diplomat's Son by writingandchocolatemilk

Lovino is content to let Antonio touch him. Antonio is happy to do this, and he runs his hands up Lovino's sides, relishing at the feeling of skin against skin, at the quick heartbeat he can feel. His head spins and Lovino pulls him into another kiss.

"Oh, Lovino," Antonio murmurs.

"What?" he asks, sharp, but that just makes Antonio's heart melt. "Take off your shirt. I'm not going to be the only one naked."

"Yes, sir." Antonio laughs.

A Sprinkler of Disaster by SnowyWolff

Lovino comes home one day and the surprise that waits for him behind the door is not exactly what he had expected

Baile Con La Bula by Wendigo Heart

Romano thought the bulls were actually rather pathetic, allowing themselves to be slain. It was the matador’s control that really ignited his passion. But he would forever deny a certain matador’s passion; Romano refused to be his bull to slay -The original source was deleted... That was hell of a good fanfiction

The Art of Flying by The Goliath Beetle

They're both a little bit damaged, a little bit unscathed. Lovino can only truly see the world when Antonio describes it to him. Words can be magical, words can drive the darkness away.

Exasperation by ReinMaker

Lovino reflects on how it came to this, thanks to himself and his mother-in-law.

PWP/Porn with some plot/basically smut

Praise by learninghowtosmut

Tumblr request for praise kink, ft blindfolds and gross sappy adoration

Six Times Romano Failed at Seducing Spain (And One Time He Unintentionally Succeeded) by sapphiire moon

Spain is sick and tired of Romano constantly flirting in front of him, and so he decides to punish Romano by not having sex with him anymore. Romano does not like this at all, and he's determined to win his way back into Spain's bed (and heart) through seduction. Awkward, awkward seduction.

A Way to Say I Love You by sapphiire moon

Spain and Romano's first time

With No End in Sight by stardropdream (orphan_account)

It's hot and Antonio is distracted.

For The First Time In A Long Time by Chaosride

Antonio has been hunting like this as long as he's been a vampire. Human's were more ripe during sex, and the bite was pleasurable anyway, as long as he didn't drink too much, but this times a little different. He picked up an Italian in a bar, expecting a quick meal.

Beautiful by Chaosride

A tumblr prompt requested Spamano BDSM

Give and Take by mareepysheepy

After hundreds of years in the making, Romano is in what he would grudgingly call a relationship with Spain. At least he thinks he is. He's really not sure. Weren't relationships meant to be about mutual give, and take, after all?

Jesus Christ I think this is the best written smut I’ve ever seen

Spirito Di Punto by starshards

After Romano's driving skills send another car to super-car heaven, his boss decides that it's time for him to have something much more modest. Luckily for Romano, Spain's there to help him learn how to appreciate it.

Like a Virgin by The Cilantro Family

Antonio's never had sex before. Lovino walks him through it.

Great spamano writers:

Basically almost all of their fanfictions and great, I just didn’t want to put them all on the list

Canadino

TheGoliathBeetle

sapphiire moon (aka best spamano smut writer you can ever find)

StarsMadeinHeaven (former Happymood)

writingandchocolatemilk (basically tons of amazing spamano one-shots)

userscounterheist

SnowyWolff

#spamano #aph spain #aph south italy #hetalia #axis powers hetalia #fanfiction #ao3 #spainxromano #aph romano #Antonio Fernandez Carriedo #lovino romano vargas #fanfic #aph fanfiction #aph #hetalia axis powers #hetalia fanfiction

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moonlightreal · 4 years

Text

Winx Club season 8/24

In which we get to the prize in this cereal box.

24 Dyamond on Ice

At last, at last, at last! I have waited all season! Squeeeeeeee! And if it weren’t for Evergleam finding me a site to watch these on, just because she wanted to do something nice for me and read my episode reactions, I wouldn’t be watching now! Evergleam, you are the greatest!

Ah, I’m so excited!

Ok, I kind of know what’s coming, and from what I‘ve heard it sounds… it sounds dumb. So yes I am vibrating with excitement about something I will likely snark the heck out of once I see it. But that’s the joy of fandom too, isn’t it?

Alfea! Wizgiz and his Scottish voice! Pop quiz nobody was prepared for! Tec and Musa are not prepared. Aisha says it isn’t fair. Stella is more concerned with sneaking carrots from Flora’s snack basket. Oh wait, no those are Stella’s snacks, perspective made it look like they were on Flora’s desk.

The test is, “Animal metamorphosymbiosis. All you have to do is turn into an animal of your choice!” Wizgiz poofs into a mouse, a dachshund and a hippo. Girls are worried, except Stella who’s chowing down on carrots. Is this a healthy eating PSA?

Bloom goes first and successfully poofs into a kitten the same red as her hair. Aisha becomes a butterfly, Tecna a lamb, Musa a songbird and Flora a tiger.

Everyone runs away from the tiger, even though it’s talking with Flora’s voice.

Wizgiz smells a rat. Stella is not what she seems! It’s Kiko! Stella poofed Kiko into a copy of herself so she could stay home and sketch fashion, which is what she’s doing when the girls get back, each carrying a pile of heavy books.

But let’s take a minute to ponder transformations. Those are some random animals the girls picked! Flora’s not the tigery sort and it seems like Aisha should have been an otter. I also wonder if she was showing off; wouldn’t insects be harder than mammals, since you have to transform more? I wonder what was going through the writers’ heads when they chose each girl’s animal, and what was going through the girls’ heads when they chose what animal to do! maybe all it proves is that transformation is actually not effected by your personality even though it seems like it should be!

Anyway, the girls are mad. So is Kiko. I wanna see the scene where Stella bribed him to do it! Hah! Stella isn’t actually sketching fashions, she’s getting caught up on her homework. ‘there’s so much to study!” she’s behind.

Tecna says that as punishment Wizgiz gave them all a lot of homework, so now they’ll have to study even more! Hang on, that’s not fair! The girls didn’t know Stella was cutting class, and Stella did manage a successful transformation after all!

Stella: I wish I was somewhere far away from here!”

The star case appears! “If that is your wish young fairy, it shall soon be granted. What you seek is a world frozen and battered a place where an ancient bond was shattered. This realm is called Dyamond, to be precise. Covered with crystal and mysterious ice. There you will find the seventh star you’ve awaited, follow the secret of a sister separated.”

Stella: “Sister? Whose sister?”

“Whoever completes this final (hollar? Haul?) will get the stars and keep them all.” so whoever gets this last star will get the others. That’s handy!

Stella’s still curious about the secret of sisters but Bloom says one step at a time.

Nobody mentions Daphne. If I hadn’t been spoiled my first thought would be Bloom and Daphne, they’re the sisters separated in Winx, and on the frozen planet Domino back in season one. Definite parallels here!

Tecna pulls up Dyamond’s stats on her phone. “It’s a world of crystal, and the surface is covered in magical ice.” Cool looking planet, it has a… I don’t even know how to describe it. Floaty geometric outer shell? You’ll have to look at a picture.

Off we go! We have to stay ahead of the Trix!

Cut to Icy’s grumpy face. She’s watching with Darcy and Stormy. Icy says, “Dyamond...” in a way you could tell the voice actress was trying for emotional while still doing Icy’s voice.

The other two are ready to go, to get there first.

Icy: “No.”

D&S: “No?”

Icy; “We’re not going to Dyamond. It’s too dangerous.”

Stormy: “But we have a mission. The last prime star is there.”

Icy: “So we’ll let the Winx risk it all and find it. And once they get the star we’ll take it.”

disappointed Trix. Darcy wanted a trap, Stormy was hoping for some good old fisticuffs. I love you two, don’t ever change.

Icy: ‘We’ll stay here and track their movements in the dark hologram. That is all.”

Oh, it has a name. Heh.

Valtor floats dramatically down from the ceiling and reminds his minions of their place. Icy actually looks scared! Valtor asks what she’s afraid of.

Icy: ‘I’m afraid of nothing.”

Valtor orders her off to Dyamond then. Icy clenches her fists. Valtor makes the mark glow on the Trix’s hands and reminds them he can dump them back in limbo anytime. Valtor’s voice actor is having so much fun.

Icy bows and says, “As you wish.” but when the three go to fly out Icy tells her sisters to go on without her, that she’ll catch up. Darcy and Stormy shrug and fly away.

Alone, Icy lands on the balcony of the asteroid and finally makes that thoughtful face I’ve been watching for for half the season. She summons a sphere of glass with a lavender crystal flower in it. Sad music plays. “Dyamond… how long… it’s not meant to be like that! The timing’s all wrong.” sad music and the winds of outer space blowing Icy’s hair and her cape.

Well that was sudden! Also, “timing’s all wrong’… did Icy have a plan? Dare I get my hopes up that there will be an explanation for why all this was never hinted at for seven whole seasons plus all of this one up until right now?

Back to Alfea! The Winx are ready to leave, after they make sure Stella is the genuine article. But then Sky arrives in a new ship, the “single seater Crow.” I like the design, reminds me of a sled. Sky is bummed that he got here just as Bloom’s off on another mission. He has tickets for the Technomagic arena for tonight! But his date might not be back in time.

The girls leave to save the universe.

Disappointed Sky: ‘Sorry… wait, what am I saying sorry for? Well if there’s no other way to see you tonight, I’ll go with you!”

Dyamond from space! I like.

Winxboarding over cool waves of ice, as if a stormy ocean froze all at once. Good music.

Tec’s still looking for information. “Bloom, I haven’t found much information about Dyamond, only it was once pretty populated.”

They see the remains of buildings under the ice.

Bloom: ‘It looks totally deserted now.”

Flora: “Something serious happened here.”

Stella: “Someone left the fridge open?”

Again, no mention that the same thing happened to Domino so the Three Ancestors or a similar type of being could be the cause here.

And with nothing but crystal and ice as far as the eye can see there’s no hint at where the prime star might be hiding. The music turns sad as the girls board past broken buildings and these giant totem-pole type things. The girls wonder what happened to the people who lived here. Long scene of destruction.

Bloom: “A deserted world… no life at all. it’s a real mystery.”

Which gives me plotbunnies because there must be people who investigate magical disasters like this.

Through the ice we see crystal flowers like the one Icy had growing on a tree. More good sad music.

A sign of life! A little creature! Stella thinks it could be a sprite or an animal. Tecna says it means there must still be life on Dyamond. Bloom asks Flora if she can talk to the trees. Flora does this light-up-pink spell, and the other Winx are impressed but Flora can’t sense anything. She says the trees are asleep.

It’s a white fox. After it! Through very cool frozen thorn plants. Interesting conversation, Bloom is surprised the fox is running away and Tecna agrees. Flora wonders what the little critter must have gone through and Aisha says she wouldn’t want to stay on this planet.

The fox makes the giant thorn bushes break apart and collapse, and the Winx have to board away or be squished. They escape and look down to see the fox glaring at them.

Bloom can tell something is up, but she doesn’t know what.

The Trix are here, all together again. Darcy and Stormy are ready to find the Winx and battle. ‘this place is so boring! Give me something to hit with my lightning.”

I dunno, I’d think the ‘Total destruction’ aesthetic would appeal to witches!

Stormy sees the white fox and thinks it would be a good target for lightning! She strikes a pose, ready to throw lightning when Icy ices her hand. Stormy and her suddenly heavy hand fall to the ground.

Stormy: “Icy, what’s your problem?”

Icy: “Leave that fox alone!”

Darcy and Stormy look at each other in confusion.

The fox comes up to them and Icy looks down at it with a tragic expression.

And… flashback!

Silver-haired moppet in funny shorts skipping over a pile of pink crystals towards a river and a crystal-flower tree. Blonde girl following worriedly. They’ve found a mother fox with three cubs.

They look royalty. they’re both wearing really pretty very detailed peacock blue clothes, the younger girl in weird short-shorts and the older in a gown. The older girl has frizzy yellow hair tied up in an elaborate style with a bunch of braids and a many-layered bead crown. The younger girl has masses of wavy silver hair up in a singly ponytail, and she’s wearing funny shorts with leggings underneath. she’s much the braver of the two, clearly dragged her big sister out here.

Silver runs around with the foxes while her sister makes a crown of crystal flowers that have fallen from the tree. They cute-hug.

Back in the present Darcy says their mission is more important than the fox. Go find that prime star!

Back with the Winx, they’re boarding along when the star case appears then vanishes again. Guess we must be in the right place! The girls walk along what seems to be the traditional “narrow path along a steep cliff” which seems like exactly the place for using winxboards, but ok. The path threatens to crumble beneath their feet. The fox seems to be on a higher path, shadowing the Winx. she’s also in danger of crumbling ice-path.

We get a wider view, the Winx are walking up a path around a mountain that is basically buried under a huge frozen waterfall. We see this because it’s what the Trix see as they watch from afar. Darcy and Stormy are again keen to fight, but Icy sees that the fox is following and tells them to wait. Stormy calls her out again, ‘What’s wrong with you?” but Icy blusters, ‘I’ll decide when it’s time to strike!

This is feeling really tragic suddenly. The three of them have been always together for YEARS and had so many evil adventures but they don’t trust each other at all. Icy can’t trust her sisters not to jump all over even as small a sign of weakness as, “There’s stuff, ok? Don’t hurt the fox.”

Winx walk along path/semi-cave. Fox watches.

Stormy: “I’ve had enough of your floundering, Icy!” she shoves Icy and blasts lightning at the mountain. Icy yells, ‘No!”

Avalanche! Winx run for it!

Icy panics. “What have you done! what have you done!” Stormy looks concerned suddenly, seeing Icy freaking out this much.

They see the fox crying in the midst of the avalanche.

Incoming big damn hero! Sky lands and immediately rescues the fox. He chatters happily about how he’ll take the fox to Bloom, ‘I’m sure you’ll like her, and you’ll have Kiko to play with.”

This is possibly the most likeable moment Sky has had all season. I just love it.

Icy still in a panic attacks Sky. She ices his suit wings and sends an avalanche to crush his scout ship, sending it crashing through the ice into water down below. (And having played Subnautica Below Zero, I know all about the fish in that water!)

The Winx watch in horror and Bloom goes to help Sky, who is by now hanging off the cliff with his suit wings frozen.

Bloom: “Sky, you should not be here!”

Sky: “I agree, but can we talk about this later!”

Two likeable Sky moments!

Icy goes in for the kill! She sends tons of ice crashing down on Sky, sending him down to join his ship in the water. Yikes!

Sad music again, Icy hovers holding the fox in her arms. She flies away, leaving the confused Darcy and Stormy to follow after her.

Bloom: “Magic Winx, Sirenix!”

Oh my gosh Crystal Sirenix is beautiful. I knew it was, I have pictures, but… it really is. Love the crystal headdresses. Love the way it takes from the original “gothic sirenix” design, incorporating the long skirts that eventually ended up in harmonix with the scale leggings. Everyone’s in their correct colors. Of course Aisha’s teal and purple is my favorite but Bloom’s almost-no-pink is also looking good.

And they comment on it! “Our Sirenix form is different! what happened?” Tecna says, “It’s Crystal sirenix! Our powers are reacting to the magical ice, to protect us.”

They immediately dive down to find Sky, and discover that they glow in the dark water! Tecna says their Crystal Sirenix “has a high degree of adaptability.” It’ll do whatever they need, that’s cool. But it does muddy up… well, I thought of Sirenix as being a transformation that exists for the purpose of protecting the Infinite Ocean, so how many past Sirenix fairies would have to deal with magical ice? Maybe the adaptability wasn’t a known thing, it’s just… magic. Since magic does everything by magic, you don’t know what else it might do.

And that’s all! Whew, what an episode!

So Icy’s backstory is… Bloom’s backstory. Writers just went, “Well this was a hit the first time, let’s use it again!” Or, since I want to believe the best of these writers even when they make it really hard, the writers thought it would be cool to have the main hero and main villain’s stories mirror each other. Bloom and Icy have suffered similar things, being torn from a beloved sister and had their world frozen, then each of them went to school and ended up with close friends. But they ended up as two very different people, which I think we can put down to Bloom being young enough that she didn’t remember Domino and then she ended up with super loving parents while Icy ended up with nobody until she got to cloud Tower and met her roommates who told her the legend of the three Ancestral witches...

#winx club season 8 #winx club

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pikapeppa · 5 years

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Fenris/f!Hawke smut: Escape

Chapter 11 of Lovers In A Dangerous Time (i.e. Fenris the Inquisitor) is up... and this time it is totally self-indulgent smut. Just some nice tender sexy times with feels. Fenris is stressed and needs some time to unwind ok :(

Read on AO3 instead. (~3000 words.)

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Fenris breathed in deeply through his nose, then closed his eyes and released his breath through parted lips.

It was raining still, and the camp was quiet. The others had all gone to sleep over an hour ago, safe in the knowledge that a trio of Inquisition scouts were keeping guard nearby. The camp was enclosed on all sides by trees, and the only sounds were the staccato of raindrops on foliage and the subtle hiss of the salty sea breeze.

He inhaled once more, then pushed his hood back and ran his bare hands through his hair. The breeze drifted coolly across his ears and neck, and he tilted his head back to accept the fall of rain upon his face.

The silence… kaffas, he’d needed this. It had been so long since he’d had a moment of peace. A moment to just sit and do nothing. To say nothing, to speak to no one, and to just… think.

Not that his thoughts were particularly soothing. They seemed to swing incessantly between the various problems they were facing: red lyrium and rifts, politics and the Breach, Corypheus and his unknown plans and how in the blasted Void he was even still alive. And above it all, like a malignant pulse in his palm, was the green and glowing mark that served as his only source of light in the overcast night.

He stared balefully at his palm for a moment, then closed his hand into a fist. He felt both exhausted and edgy; a terrible combination, given the hard travelling they would be doing tomorrow. But as long as he was unable to sleep, it was best if he stayed out here. If he remained in the tent with Hawke, he would restlessly shuffle and shift every minute or so, and she would wake up and ask him what was wrong.

She would worry, and she’d want to help. But there was nothing she could do to stem the constant flow of problems that were flooding their way. So Fenris leaned his elbows on his knees and lowered his head, letting the rain drip soothingly along his neck and scalp until it beaded and dripped from the damp peaks of his hair.

Then he heard a sound: a shifting step on the damp grass, and a subtle sniffle of breath. A moment later, she whispered his name into the nighttime air.

“Fenris?” Hawke’s fingers ran through his wet hair, then smoothed along his nape.

He didn’t speak. He didn’t open his eyes. He tilted his head to the side, and Hawke ran her nails gently along the side of his tattooed neck.

He let out a long sigh as Hawke scratched and stroked his neck. “You should be asleep,” he mumbled.

“I was,” she said quietly. “Then I rolled over and realized you were gone.”

He lifted his face to meet her gaze. Her expression was exactly as he feared: a warm little smile, stained with a hint of worry.

She was wearing trousers and a light linen shirt beneath her lambswool cloak, but her feet were bare. Fenris lifted her hand from his neck, then kissed the inside of her wrist. “Where are your boots?” he asked. “You will catch a cold.”

She smiled. “Maybe I’m trying to harden my feet up so I can go around barefoot just like you. I already hate wearing shoes and socks, so I think I’m halfway there.”

He smirked at her cheeky tone. “Hardened soles require more than a short walk from the tent,” he murmured.

She chuckled softly. “Is that a challenge I hear? Do you dare me to walk from the Storm Coast back to Haven in my bare feet?”

“Absolutely not,” Fenris said, and Hawke laughed again.

He smiled at her, then kissed her knuckles and released her hand. “Go on. Go back to the tent. I will join you shortly.”

She shook her head, then ran her fingers along the back of his neck. “I’m awake now. I’ll stay here with you.” She lowered her voice to a bare whisper. “I’ll be quiet, I promise.”

Her nails were grazing his scalp. She slid her fingers down to his nape, and… fasta vass, the firm stroke of her thumb along the tendon in his neck…

He closed his eyes again. “All right,” he murmured. He was already feeling less tense than before; his jaw felt more loose, and with every gentle pass of Hawke’s fingers, a little more weight seemed to leave his shoulders.

He lowered his head once more, and she continued to stroke his neck. The rain kept falling, dripping from his hair and trickling toward the collar of his tunic, but Hawke’s fingers were firm and warm as they sluiced the water away.

Some time later, she gently squeezed his earlobe. “Come on. Come back to the tent,” she whispered. “Your hair is soaking wet.”

He breathed in slowly. “It’s all right,” he mumbled. “I… don’t mind.”

“Well, I do,” she replied. “There’s a reason they call it a head cold, you know.”

He grunted, but he was feeling too relaxed to argue. He slowly pushed himself to his feet and followed Hawke back toward the tent.

She took off her cloak and hung it on a convenient branch that was sheltered from the rain, and Fenris did the same. Then he knelt and crawled through the tent flap in her wake.

He settled on his knees on the bedroll, and Hawke shuffled over to kneel behind him. “Get comfortable,” she said. She plucked at his cotton tunic. “Take this off. I’ll rub your shoulders.”

“That is not necessary,” Fenris said, but he followed her directions all the same.

“Of course it’s not,” she replied. “It’s a luxury. That’s the point. Let me pamper you, all right? It’s no red wine and roses, but a shoulder rub will have to do in this soggy place.”

He huffed in amusement as he set his tunic aside. “‘Soggy’? Was it necessary to use that word? It rather spoils the mood you’re trying to set,” he drawled.

“Damn,” she said softly. “And here I was thinking I was so smooth.” Her voice was warm with mirth as she settled behind him, and before Fenris could make a witty retort, she began to massage his back.

He closed his eyes and sighed. The breath he released was long and heavy, and as Hawke pressed her palms and fingers into his bare skin, Fenris could feel the weight lifting from of his mind, almost as though she was kneading his worries away by force.

He relaxed into her capable hands. Raindrops percussed the fabric of the tent, but the noise was soft and blank and smooth, and it wasn’t long before his lightened mind was floating.

It was like being in a dream. The kind of soft, soothing dream that Fenris rarely ever had, but treasured on those rare occasions when they did occur. In his half-awake mind, he was drifting and warm, grounded by the heat of Hawke’s hands while his loosened mind floated free. He wasn’t on the Storm Coast, and there was no Inquisition; he was simply here, drifting freely in a limbo of pleasantness and warmth, and the more he was able to float, the more he could feel how very grounded he was.

He could feel every part of his body: his feet tucked beneath his bum, the heat of his palms on his thighs and the relaxed curl of his fingers, the occasional slow drip of water from his hair onto his nose and chest. And above it all, carrying it all and carrying him, were Hawke’s hands on his skin.

She carefully ran the heels of her hands from his shoulders down to the small of his back, and Fenris arched into her touch with a contented little groan.

She chuckled softly. “I knew this was what you needed,” she whispered.

He grumbled an incoherent little affirmative. He couldn’t be bothered with words right now. He stretched his arms luxuriously over his head, then slowly rolled his neck from side to side and relaxed once more with a sigh.

Hawke’s hands fell still as he stretched. As he settled comfortably on his knees once more, she shuffled closer, then dropped a kiss in the center of his back.

Fenris grew still. Her lips were pressing against his skin, pressing a line of kisses from his spine to the lower edge of his shoulder blade, and her hands were sliding down to rest on his hips.

She kissed the center of his spine once more, and her quiet voice whispered across his skin. “Is this okay?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yes,” he murmured.

She kissed his back once more, then lifted her hands away. A soft rustling ensued - the sounds of linen on skin - then Hawke was touching him once more.

Her lips were a gentle brush of warmth. Her hands were a steady press of heat. She shifted closer still, then pressed her naked chest against his back.

His breath snagged in his throat. Hawke kissed his shoulder blade and slid her arms around his chest, her fingers smoothing over his bare skin, and Fenris lightly caressed the backs of her fingers as they traversed his abdomen. Her hands were slow and her touch was firm, and heat of her chest seemed to bleed into his back, washing through him with an urgency that was altogether more enjoyable than the stressful, pressing need that drove their everyday travels.

She rose up on her knees. Her breasts pressed higher on his back, and Fenris leaned into her, wanting her to touch him more firmly. It had been almost a week since they’d moved together after the time-travel fiasco in Redcliffe Village, and that had hardly been relaxing. In that moment of residual fear and grief, Fenris had needed Hawke. Their sex was a confirmation of her vitality and a desperate reunion, even if she hadn’t known them to be apart.

This was wholeheartedly different. In the stormy susurrus of this tent and the heat of her half-bared body, Fenris didn’t simply need Hawke. He wanted and that pure and simple desire felt so damned good.

She lifted her cheek from his skin. “Lie down for me?” she asked.

Her husky-voiced request was unmistakable, and Fenris was happy to comply. A minute later, his back was flat on the bedroll and his hips were rising up as Hawke rolled his leather leggings down.

His cock rose toward her, and she lowered her lips to meet him. An instant later, he was gasping against his own clenched fist to silence himself as the pleasure rose through his thighs and his belly.

Her hands were hot on his hips as she suckled him, and Fenris bit his knuckle to stifle a groan. He was eager and unrestrained, freed from the constant weight of his worries by the skillful stroke of her hands. With every hungry pull of her lips and throat, he lifted his hips toward her, wanting her and savouring her and wanting her even more as she gave him the slick heat of her throat.

The warmth, the pressure, the pull: she was lifting him up and dragging his rapture forth in an inexorable wave. His free hand scrabbled for hers, his fingers shaking with tension as they gripped her hand, and Fenris gasped and fiercely bit his thumb as his climax crashed through his body with such force that it left him lightheaded.

His chest was heaving, ribs rising and falling as he fought to catch his breath. Hawke stretched out beside him, and her hand drifted gently across his belly.

“Maybe you can sleep now,” she whispered in his ear.

Her tone was soft but vibrant. Fenris forced his eyes open, and despite the dimness of the tent, he could still make out her smile.

He dragged in another breath, then pushed her onto her back with a hand on her hip. Her lips dropped open with surprise, and Fenris took advantage to nip the plumpness of her lower lip with his own.

She gasped softly, then gasped once more as he caressed her breast. “Fenris-”

He silenced her with a kiss. Her tongue tasted slightly bitter from his seed, but her mouth was hot and hungry, and he happily swallowed her whimpers as he pinched her nipple, then unbuttoned her trousers.

She arched toward his hand, lifting her hips as eagerly as he’d lifted his own for her, and Fenris broke their kiss. “Be silent, Hawke,” he whispered. He shifted down to kneel between her legs and peeled her trousers away from her hips.

Her breathy chuckle was barely audible above the rain. “What, you don’t want me to wake the whole camp?” she murmured.

He shook his head. Of course he didn’t, but that wasn’t the point. He ducked his head and ran his tongue over the peak of her hipbone.

She released a shuddering gasp and jerked toward him, and he placed a calming hand on her belly. “I want to keep this for myself,” he told her. “I… this… it is for you and I alone. It is private.”

She reached down and stroked his hand. “Of course it’s private,” she panted. “What-?”

He shook his head once more. “Nothing is truly private anymore,” he murmured. “Not with the others around all the time. The conversations, the questions… Sometimes I think that it will never end. But here…”

He trailed off and looked around at their tiny tent. It was like a cocoon, cozy and cut off from the others and warmed with their shared heat, and it was easy to pretend that they were truly alone.

He stroked her hipbone with his thumb. “There are some things I don’t wish to share with the others. This is one of them. When we are on the road, your sounds are mine,” he said bluntly. “I don’t want anyone else to hear them. To hear us.” He lifted his eyes to her face. “Can we do that?”

She grinned and propped herself up on her elbows. “Now you’re really challenging me.”

He smiled briefly, but pressed on with his point. “I am serious,” he said softly. “We cannot keep to ourselves anymore. I know that. But… I want to keep something for myself.”

She tilted her head, and Fenris watched as the jocularity melted from her face, leaving only fondness behind. She sat up and stroked his neck. “I understand,” she whispered. “The tent is our private spot. We keep it quiet here, then it’s like escaping from the world for a bit.”

He exhaled softly and nodded, relieved that she understood. “Yes.”

She smiled, then tilted her chin up. “Well, we’d better try this silence thing, then. You know how much of a loudmouth I can be.”

He huffed softly, then gently pushed her down on her back with one hand at her throat. “Consider it done,” he murmured. He shifted down on the bedroll and ran two fingers between her legs.

She jerked her hips toward him and jammed the back of her hand against her mouth. Her knees fell wider apart, and Fenris studied her slickness for a moment before dropping his lips between her legs.

He kissed her sweetly, and she bucked her hips toward him. She was utterly silent, not even an audible gasp or breath, but as Fenris laid two more lingering kisses along the length of her cleft, her fingers clenched in the fabric of the bedroll.

He ran his lower lip over her clit, then joined his lips with his tongue. Her taste was raw and sweet, and the rolling of her hips was smooth but firm, and Fenris carefully took every drop of her moisture onto his tongue before lapping at her tiny bud with a gentle rhythm.

He savoured the plump feel and flavour of her flesh as she pressed herself closer to his face. Suddenly she clenched her fist, then dragged her nails across her bare belly, and Fenris took her hips in his hands as she shuddered and arched her back.

She parted her legs even wider and ground her hips against his face. She was silent still, silent in her rapture, but he didn’t need to hear her sounds; the twisting of her body told him everything he needed to know.

She eventually settled onto the bedroll once more and lowered her hand from her lips. Then, at last, a quiet sound escaped her: a soft and lazy sigh, followed by an equally soft and lazy laugh.

She reached down and stroked his eyebrow with her thumb. “Was that silent enough for you?” she asked.

Her quiet voice was almost slurred with pleasure. Fenris rose to his hands and knees, then lowered himself over her naked body.

Her eyes were closed, but her lips were lifted in a smile. Fenris cradled her neck in his palm. “You were adequately quiet,” he teased. “It was acceptable.”

Her smile broadened. “Well, you know what they say: practice makes perfect.” She slowly wrapped her legs around his waist. “Can you help me with that?”

He smiled back at her. “I believe I can, yes,” he whispered. He lowered his head and took her lips in a careful kiss.

She slid her fingers into his hair, and he nipped her lower lip. Within a few breathless minutes, he was rocking into the cradle of her hips and stealing her gasping breaths with the tip of his greedy tongue.

The rain continued to drum against the tent, and his muffled groans melted into Hawke’s enraptured moans with every desperate meeting of their lips. As they breathed and kissed and fucked in the quiet refuge of their tent, Fenris savoured how very alone they were.

It was exactly as Hawke had said: this was their escape. In the heated silence of this tiny tent and the urgency of the love they shared, Fenris had found his escape.

#fenris #fenris fic #fenris smut #fenris the inquisitor #fenquisition #fenquisitor #Lovers in a Dangerous Time #fenhawke #fenris/hawke #fenris x hawke #fenris/f!hawke #fenris x f!hawke #fenris/femhawke #fenris x femhawke #smut #hawris #fhawris #pikapeppa writes

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bushybeardedbear · 6 years

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So Season 7 of Voltron Legendary Defender... Oh Boy...

I had so much spoiled before watching it. Thanks email alerts. So after seeing so much spoiled already, I started lurking in Tumblr again. By the time I’d actually got round to watching the season I felt like I’d already watched most of it and was primed with all the various thoughts and opinions people were sharing online. In the days beforehand I was up and down like a yoyo on a rollercoaster. Hopeful one day, thinking it’s not even worth watching the next. Hovering my finger over “delete” on both this blog and my fics at points... Even contemplating that right now if I’m honest. Maybe I should have been Bushy Bearded Drama-Llama?

In any case, having finally sat down with rock bottom, possibly even sub zero expectations and watched, here are my thoughts now season seven is over... Well... In short, I think it suffers a lot from being so rushed. And before you say it, no, going in with low expectations wasn’t a self fulfilling prophecy. Psychologically speaking the opposite is true. If we go into something with low expectations, we tend to have a better opinion overall than we would have if we went in with sky high expectations. And whilst it may seem like I hated it so far...? Well, no. I didn’t hate it. There were some parts that didn’t gel with me, but to say I hated it would be an insult to everyone involved. But that doesn’t make it free from criticism. If you care what this bear’s about to growl about, strap in, it’s not a short one. Not kidding. This is long. But I guess I needed to get my feelings down and hopefully have someone patient enough to read it and see that I’m not completely insane. And, thought I shouldn’t have to say this... None of this comes from a place of hate. No, I don’t think regardless of how you feel about this season that hatred to the creators is ever acceptable. If you feel you must, then voice your grievances calmly, rationally, but the second you resort to hate you have already lost. Though what I would suggest is to just accept this season as it is and move on. Moving on is partly why I’m compelled to write this post. Maybe if you are going to read this monster, bring some caramel to counteract the salt...

The Season Itself

So within the first episode, I’m already full of mixed emotions. Yes, the Plance moment was great. Yes, the dynamic between Hunk and Romelle was cool. Coran was great, supportive Crolia, the none too subtle dig at Prometheus as Lance and Pidge ran from the grass... (Don’t think we didn’t spot that you writer rascals! Run at an angle!) I remain in Sheith Limbo trying to reconcile they met when Keith was literally a child and relationships can grow and develop with a worried dash of will people misinterpret this as grooming if they got together...? But a lot of it was by the by. Honey I Shrunk The Paladins was a great fun start to the series interspersed with great emotional character building for Shiro and Keith. It fleshed them both out in ways I wish we’d seen sooner and as others have pointed out drastically reframes a lot of the protective over Shiro moments in the context of his degenerative disease. And yet, it doesn’t make Shiro a victim, nor Keith a white knight, it keeps them both flawed yet strong heroes. Tiny cute paladins, Lance’s cargo pilot reference. As always the design of the planets is gorgeous. Lance sharpshooting. The attention to detail with little things like in scale surface tension! I can’t overstate how much time, effort and thought has gone into this! The narrative parallels of the speeder bikes. Honestly, there is SO much to unpack in just one episode that could easily be overlooked as silly and/or filler. But it’s so much. Keith’s growth is such fun to watch, confirmation of certain fan theories is great yet so sad at the same time...

It allowed Romelle to actually have a character that wasn’t just “Lotor Plot Delivery Service” and her interactions with Hunk were pretty adorable. “Are all ancient Alteans like this?” Was a great subtle piece of world building as well. And yeah, pretty sure I saw @hailqiqi mention this already, but Hunk and Romelle are so the audience surrogates. The one and only thing that bugged me, given the fact that so much of Voltron has had to be rushed or cut for time... Did we really need the flashbacks in this episode shown twice back in the quantum abyss episode...? Couldn’t that time in the QA been used for something else...? But that’s a very minor gripe. Overall, I massively enjoyed this episode but I’m still nervous given the priming from the fandom going forward... But that last hug? Saving Shiro with his voice / quintessence maybe?

The Road home starts off well, though the idea that still nobody knows or comments on Katie’s name being such did disappoint me a little... The space road trip starting up was so cute, even if Lance’s logic of passengers is lost on me...aside from maybe cutting Pidge some slack. Let me Headcanon that little touch of unconscious favouritism, yeah? Though his taking charge in the battle here, being the right hand man, was really nice to see here. From the audience perspective, he may be stating the obvious, but in canon, that’s what we call battlefield awareness. Imagine season 1 Lance doing this? Nah. Buthe’s had no growth, so people say... “It’s super dangerous, it’s perfect!” Wonderful! And Keith’s leadership! Great stuff. (Almost) Everyone getting a chance to shine in the cave combat was also awesome. Full on frenetic energy, a little flourish of comedy from time to time, great characterisation, calm before the storm leading to a sudden yet satisfying cliffhanger? Full on Voltron to a T.

"I will help you look for that passage.” Is a cute Plance moment that others are overlooking I feel. Coran’s memoirs are something I would personally read the hell out of. I don’t know about the rest of you. But seeing the entire saga retold through Coran’s eyes...? I’d love to see it. I’m also kinda happy to know how “Acxa” is pronounced! The slow reveal of the time skip up until the reveal at the end is nice, though honestly not as mysterious as the show seemed to think it was. Maybe it was just that I got spoiled? Evil power couple were great as well and it was nice to see the ice pop mystery solved. A return of Altean shapeshifting was nice to see. “Sweet on that one with the flippity hair” and “your favourite paladin” “never wanted to kill him” “true love”? Seems a little out of left field. Unexpected? Maybe not, just rushed? Axca and Keith seemed a little sudden. To me felt like they just needed to pair a spare and keep Kieth and Allura apart. Which, I get into later. Keith being able to transport his bayard seems...fine...? Why are people complaining about this? Paladins summon their bayarads all the time. He just did it from a few extra feet...? I do wish Coran had a chance to play to his strengths though. Aside from his courage. He has brains and feels like he needs to use them more or be written in scenarios where he can use them. The three year time skip, when revealed, seems like it was just a convenient way to avoid the immediate aftermath of Lotor losing the throne. It works in that regard I suppose. But by the end of this episode I wasn’t really sold on it.

Nice new haircut though Axca. Really sells the redeemed rebel former baddie archetype. And thank goodness for your exposition. Tell don’t show, am I right? One of the ways we can see the show was rushed I feel. Though again, maybe just being picky...

The Game Show Episode. I was expecting this later in the season honestly. It was good for comic relief I guess, so it served it’s purpose. Seeing the first family of the Galra along for some comedy was great if only for Neil Kaplan having such fun. But it felt like it was missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on what. It was nice to get insight into how the Paladins feel about each other but again, it felt like a way to get those ideas and characterisations out into the open without having to, y’know, show them in natural narrative progression. It’s probably the weakest of the comedy episodes so far and it felt a little like it was all just happening until it eventually stopped. It didn’t feel like the little hints of “tv flickering” implying something artificial were necessary. In fact, as soon as I saw the concept I thought “so, all powerful being captures them for reasons?” and that’s pretty much what we got. It was...ok. Just ok. And y’know what...? After seven seasons, maybe we do need to drop the “Lance is the dumb one” joke? I mean, yes, he’s not as smart as the rest of the team. No doubt. But if he’d been given a chance to shine on his own terms, with his own abilities, if they’d subverted the goofball archetype rather than doubling down on it I think this would have made for a more interesting episode. Just because it’s comedy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be compelling. The Voltron Show for instance literally dealt with Coran pushing himself so hard to help the Paladins that he was willing to resort to what was essentially a mind altering drug and forcing himself to kick the habit. Where was the actual plot in this episode? Funny moments need a framework and this kinda lacked a framework in my opinion.

Really episode 5? A Kobayashi Maru scenario...? Indeed, running a simulation when the lions are running on fumes...? Ok, you do you I guess... Little self referential humour from Coran was nice, but a little on the nose. And honestly, I think these episodes are starting to feel like, I dunno, filler material? Like, nothing is really being furthered in terms of the massive plots they still need to deal with. Did the journey back to Earth really need to take so many episodes, or could these have been more efficiently used to deal with countless plot threads that remain unresolved...? It’s a strange thing to be feeling at this stage, but maybe there’s more to come...? And...it felt like another clip show filling out the backstory of the three years of Voltron being missing... Maybe it’s just me, but if you have written yourself into a scenario where the only way out is repeated massive exposition dumps... Maybe you need to rethink your story just a touch...? The fact it was also told from an unreliable narrator also means it wasn’t just exposition...it was literally pointless exposition that was likely mostly a combination of lies and half truths. And I’m sorry but, were people really clamouring for a rematch between Keith and “That One Nameless Druid...?” Really? You won’t hear me denying it was cool fight scene, yes indeed, but the set up wasn’t exactly great in my opinion. As for how Keith managed to win? Ok, sure, I guess summoning the Bayard from a few feet was a build up to something else, something even more special that may or may not get resolved this season. I’m writing these as I go. Or will it be one more plot point that will need to be resolved in the next season with limited time and episodes to do so? Keith and Krolia’s goodbye was sad. I do hope for a reunion, but honestly don’t expect it. I imagine she’ll die off screen for shock value. Sadly, I already know the fate of Altean colony and why Haggar has forsaken her druids, so, no real hook for me there.

So the halfish way point. Lost in space, desperately trying to force plance out of every interaction... And ultimately, just getting bored. I mean, yes, I get that they need to reconnect with each other... But there are countless ways it could have been resolved other than this. It didn’t really feel like there was need for this particular journey into the darkest cave. It also feels a little forced that after saving countless realities by working together, they now all get forced apart...? Hunk saving the day, saving the team, great. Really wonderful stuff. He’s been overlooked for so long. But the idea that they needed to become friends again...? To reconnect...again...? I don’t know that it felt necessary. If after all these years, literal years together there isn’t already a profound connection...? I just can’t really buy that. And again, it felt like a filler episode. And Hunk Priming the audience for the concept of passing the torch? Yeah, that didn’t go unseen. Maybe it’s just me, but after six episodes where it was already established that they can travel at crazy speeds to be told “yeah no, it’s not that the lions were drained, it’s just these people who’ve literally saved the universe together aren’t quite best friends enough...”? That just feels silly. And yes, I know “silly” is relative when we’re talking about a powerful group of robot magical cat things that are powered by love and freindship. BUT what I feel was silly was the idea that their friendship was strained at all. It felt as though the season wanted there to be this divide between them but...the comedy episode just a little while ago established they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves for each other....

That’s just....fundamentally contradictory. Are you guys barely even connected as friends or are you willing to die for each other? You can’t be both... It makes the whole “struggle” of getting back to Earth feel false because it’s predicated on the assumption that they’re a fractured team this episode yet there’s been literally no sign of that until now... Still, as always, the visuals were cool. The Space Angler Fish is a great concept. The music was great. The voice acting was on point. Everything was so SO good except...the writing... The writing in this particular episode in the context of everything preceding it just felt... Bad. Rushed. Forced. Contradictory. Drama for the sake of drama. Artificial... What’s going on guys...?

So a multiparter? Let’s see. Ok. Seeing how awesome Sam Holt is, fine. Seeing him reunite with Colleen. Also fine and dandy and cool. And it tugged at the heart strings... But do we really need him to literally tell us everything we already know in a power point presentation...? The audience doesn’t need to be caught up on the events.We don’t need a massive chunk of the episode’s run time devoted to playing catch up. We have the time for this, but apparently - according to the spoilers - we don’t have time to establish that Allura is getting over Lotor and Falling for Lance...? Not even a throw away line, or a glance, or a suggestion of that fact that needs establishing after her season six reaction to the mice... But we do have time for the events of the show to be repeated to us...? What!? I am literally bewildered at this choice. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked.

The worst thing about this so far, is that under all the EXPOSITION there’s a great story that wants too be told. I think we’re only seeing fragments of that story. Sam and Coleen struggling to find their children again and fighting against political nonsense. But real talk... This was all stuff that could have done just fine implied. The Paladins arrive on Earth, they see the new ships piloted by their inevitable replacements in the new series they seem to want to make, Lance asks, “What are those?” Sam responds, “A fusion of Galra, Altean and Olkari tech. The culmination of months of Earth’s greatest minds working together. It was a struggle, but we got them made in the end...” BOOM. Done. Efficient use of what is obviously painfully limited time. Did we NEED the power point, the montages, the backdoor pilot for the new team...? Did we - good as they were - even need the Holt Family suffering...? Couldn’t Coleen’s transmission to everyone on Earth have been enough to get the point across that they’re awesome...? In my opinion, we didn’t need this. Not like this at least. It could have been done so much more efficiently, so much less padding. But we did get to see snippets of the messages back home. That was nice. But it doesn’t change the fact that the majority of the first episode felt really... Unnecessary. But that’s just how I feel after part one... So, the first half of the second episode? Superb. Can’t fault it, good heroic stuff, Sam stepping up. A realistic invasion of Earth, ie, we lose that’s rare to see in most media. Can’t fault it. Then the second half kicks in. The four archetypes we’ve been barely introduced to, go on a mission that narratively speaking is utterly unnecessary. I know that the Atlas gets built thanks to spoilers. But even if I didn’t, what function does this part serve? We may not be able to build a thing. Later on, that thing will be built. Do we need to into the minutiae of how the supplies were gathered...? Well, I suppose we do. But not because of how it serves the overall plot of Voltron Legendary Defender, but how it sells these new kids to us for the new series they obviously assume they’re making. But if it wasn’t for that?

Then it defaults to more exposition... More information that could have been relayed to the audience in much more engaging ways.

This could have been, rather than a messy and kinda redundant two part episode with occasional brilliance, it could have been trimmed down to a truly brilliant single part. I’m not invested in these new characters. Let me get there or not when I see them in their own show. And if they’re literally just there as homage to the sequel series from the 80′s...then they don’t need this much focus. The actual paladins and their interpersonal dynamics do. Rift creatures do. Lotor’s fate does. Why are we wasting the limited time that remains on this unless it’s a back door pilot? Why should the current series suffer just to promote the next one...? It’s just exhausting and disappointing. By the end I was agreeing with Keith. What are we waiting for...? The continuation of the series we came here for. What kept us waiting was either an advert for the next series or a massive misstep in pacing.

And now, finally back to the real story and after two episodes establishing that Earth is screwed over, Earth can barely contact other parts of itself, Earth is on the brink of collapse, Earth is holding on by a thread... In the first scene we have Earth, somehow, triangulating a jamming signal into the outer edges of the solar system and remaining undetected as they do so...? Even assuming they are “just” sending commands to satellites and installations elsewhere in the solar system, The Galra would detect that command signal. And given how much we’ve had it stated, overstated, hammered home that Earth is in such bad shape...that feels like a real ass pull.

I am being nitpicky, yes, but this is the second time this has happened on such a large and frankly contradictory scale. So I’m calling it out again. First The Paladins are willing to die for each other, or at least be trapped for eternity, then they are barely friends. Then, Earth can barely contact it’s own countries, but sending an undetectable command signal to at least three satellites in the solar system is fine...? Why not just have Voltron get the signal sooner!? Why not have Pidge send a jamming signal...?

And in terms of introductions to the new team? What we got after the drone attack? Perfect. It didn’t need to be an entire episode of establishing them because it isn’t their story. But the Paladins meeting their families? The reconciliation with Iverson? Shiro grieving for Adam. Where was all this before now? Why hasn’t our focus been where it belongs. On the Paladins? Now, I don’t really want to get into the whole debate about unfair representation of LGBT characters. I can see both sides of the argument as being valid. Shiro remains a strong canonically gay character even if the man he once loved is gone. Adam, though dead, is not immune to tragedy just for being gay. What we did see though was a man openly crying for his lost love. There’s plenty to be critical of the series for. But personally, I don’t feel the treatment of Adam and Shiro is “queerbaiting” so much as it is a couple unfairly separated by the horrors of war. A canonically and unambiguously gay couple. That’s representation. Just it may not be precisely what everyone wanted. But don’t let me stop you writing out impassioned critiques, don’t let me stop you airing and venting your grievances. I’m doing that right now, aren’t I? Just please please please don’t send any more hatred at the creators...

Now, this whole section of the Altean enhanced tech...? Why is this being reiterated again? This could stand on it’s own as an introduction to the concept of Earth meets Alien tech. Why are we being shown the same things twice, first in the two parter in depth and again now...? Why do this when there is so much else that needs addressing in ever dwindling episodes...? Though aside from that, Hunk and Keith connecting is great. Hunk finally having a dedicated arc to save his family also great. Hunk being the outsider to the Garrison Trio dynamic and spending time with Keith again? Also great, wonderful even. So where was all this previously...? But even this, even this has to be if not overshadowed then frankly hijacked by the new characters they want to sell to us. It’s getting tiresome. I don’t want Hunk’s moments overshadowed, his spotlight taken... But damn, if he doesn’t still stand proud regardless. This is the Voltron I’ve been missing for most of the season.

I was going to post the image of him crying, but couldn’t do it... So here, Happier Hunk.

Don’t know how I feel about Hover Hand. I get they’re setting it up for the final conflict with Sendak, so that Shiro will be his literal and visual antithesis...but...hover hand looks kinda goofy. And being the counterpoint to your nemesis doesn’t need to be so literal all the time. And again, the new characters forcing their way into the story with a half baked excuse to sell you them. I think from now on I’m just going to comment when Team Replacements don’t force themselves in...Even the fact one of them was Veronica felt a little frustrating, because Lance’s family dynamic with her is overshadowed in my opinion by her being part of the new forced team of replacements. Allura giving up her crystal tiara for Shiro was a nice moment.

Okay, now imagine the whole infiltration section without Team Replacements. Just the Paladins, doing their thing. Let’s assume their resident tech genius has a way to stop the sentry drones sending out distress calls.

What did they contribute other than a few quips? Are we really expected to believe our paladins, the protagonists of the story need these people...? No. It was just written that way to force the new guys in. What we need to wonder is why and the answer is most likely... Back Door Pilot. Over multiple episodes. That undermined the series I was already watching. And finally, despite it being the supposed new canon ship in town, we see our first indication that Lance and Allura might be interested. Or do we? No, we just see Lance checking her out and being teased. Then immediately afterwards we see Pidge implementing Lance style silliness and even a Lance style distraction with her own spin on it. But no, let’s focus on the blushing and the eyeballing. I’m not salty. I’m dead sea levels of salty. But I’ll put that aside for now... And roll my eyes at the Wilhelm scream... Ok, so I was all ready to be excited about the plan, but then the super forced Allurance twin blush happened. Was it...was it really supposed to hit home when there was no build up to it this season...? Or was checking her out through the sniper sights enough to replace any hint of them coming closer or Allura setting aside Lotor...? Sure, she’s bound to do it in time, but all I’d want is something to suggest as much on screen. Just a throw away line or two... Is that so much? Cut a scene or two with the Replacements and give us more Paladins.

As the paladins all fly to their thematically and elementally appropriate battlegrounds, I want to agree with some posts I’ve seen arguing that Pidge doesn’t just look concerned, or in the zone as the other paladins do. For at least one shot she looks sad. Troubled. Maybe I’m reaching. Probably reaching. Almost certainly reaching given the almost immediate Allura calling to Lance moment... The sequence of connecting with the lions though? And Lance protecting Veronica? Pretty much resigned to die before being saved by red...? Yeah, heavy and cool stuff.

But Admiral Asshole somehow getting in touch with Sendak? Betraying the entire planet? No. Just no. She can be a thorn in their side and an antagonist without being so utterly stupid. At this point she’s gone from concerned alternative view but essentially a good person trying to save the planet in her own way, to being pantomime levels of stupid. What a daft choice. What a needless choice. You know what would have worked better...? Sendak baiting the Paladins. It would play into his military genius archetype. He didn’t need intel from Admiral Asshole if the entire purpose of the planet killers was just bait for the paladins... We didn’t need admiral asshole to make a faustian pact with the people responsible for planetary genocide. Some of the choices this season just bewilder me.

Well, at least no combining sequence before the Big Zapper Cannons hit. That’s something. I guess they can occasionally cut unnecessary scenes for time.

The Paladins are asleep and it’s time for the replacement team to take centre stage again. Even with their own repeated launch sequence animation. Guess they can waste time after all. Admiral Asshole...

...yeah. Who would have thought that the mass murdering alien wasn’t to be trusted...? Except anyone written with an ounce of sense. I won’t deny, I completely and utterly lost interest during the Team Replacements moments. If you like them? Great. They were kinda written to be made valid off the back of the existing series so, I guess it worked for some, just not for me. I might even have been more keen on them myself ha they been secondary characters. But this season, they have so far felt like the focus. Yet also, they felt so undeveloped that they were like filler. They took up far too much focus that should have been on the Paladins. The characters I’ve been watching for six previous seasons. The characters I’m invested in. Even the launch of the Atlas - is it supposed to be a reference to The Gotengo in ship mode? - being powered by the Castle Crystal felt like a passing of the torch moment. There’s still a season left guys, can we wait until after this series ends maybe...?

Can we do The Paladins justice in their own series and make them the focus in their own series? Can we do the replacement team justice by making them the focus of their own series...? No? We’re going to try to do both at once and ultimately make both the worse off for it? Great, ok. Seems like a plan... SIGH

Soul-riding the lions? Now that’s a cool extension of the lore. That’s a cool new addition. That’s building more upon and actually watching Voltron again. Have I mentioned that it sometimes feels like I’m not watching Voltron any longer this season? Because, yeah, that. But during the parts where I was watching Voltron, it was great. Shame I couldn’t care more about Admiral Asshole’s sacrifice. They went beyond the pale with her outright betraying Earth. Noble sacrifice for an act of stupidity was just...meh. Didn’t feel like she’d be any additional motivation for the Paladins that earth already was.

But damn does Shiro look good as the captain of a starship. Kudos where it’s due. The artists did a damn good job.

So, the final episodes... Great set up for a final confrontation. Yet within the first half of the first episode. Oh no. Voltron has been pinned. Oh no. The Atlas can’t do stuff. What will we do? Oh gosh I hope the new team of plucky do-gooders can save the day. Whatever would we do without them? I hope we can buy their toys soon. Stop it. Why won’t they just stop it...? Stop making them such a major focus. This isn’t their show...or yeah, maybe it is now. Maybe the Paladins are the side characters now? Sometimes it feels that way. They spent a lot of time out of commission, damaged, pinned or otherwise unable to act except in montages.

“Lance, I’m coming to help!” Yes, because Allura is just there to support and look shyly away from lion glances. Sigh. Can we have Allura who didn’t need to be defined by a love interest back please?

Then again, Shiro had some time to shine which was really appreciated. The Sendak/Shiro fight was...ok? I mean, it had a lot to live up to after the Kuron / Keith fight. And it just fell short in my opinion. And much as Keith saving Shiro is kinda the default... Given how they were building Shiro up to be the anti-Sendak, it felt like the final blow was robbed from Shiro just a little.

Then of course, we get The New Robeast. More powerful than anything they’ve dealt with before and utterly unannounced. Ok. Well at least they didn’t just go to sleep for a bit and let the new guys do everything. But they still found a way to force them in even now. Wouldn’t have shocked me at this point though if the new group had just beaten the robeast. The twin swords are cool, but sadly a Plance moment it wasn’t. Maybe it would have been in old Voltron. Formed by a stronger bond between the two. But not so much now. Just a thing that happens. Like Pidge’s new gun thing. Thing that happens. No build to it really, just happens. No lesson, no moment of clarity, no greater connection, just, happens. How does the Atlas have back up generators that can make it functional when it’s already been established the only thing that can power it is the castle crystal? It was a pretty big plot point. Until it was just forgotten about. The Atlas mech formed by Altean magic was pretty cool. Shiro has a lot of moments with Allura leading to it as well. More than she had with Lance even. I’ll come back to that. Fake out Pala-deaths was cheap. And if they only reason they put the focus on the new guys was for that fake out...? Screw that. What a waste.

Seeing Hunk and Shay reunited was nice but too brief. Nice to be wrong about Krolia, but I’m not expecting she’ll last the next season. Shock factor you see. Watching Earth change and develop in flash forwards and montage now makes me wonder why that couldn’t have happened earlier. And my answer is, probably to sell the new team. And that sucks. I’m not really looking forward to another season of the Paladins taking the back seat. I do kind of expect it though. In fact, I expect it will only get worse.

And of course, now in a mere 13 episodes we have to wrap up Lotor, Haggar, the rift creatures, any and all ships, don’t forget set up the new team, because I think there were a few subtle hints there’s a new team they want us to care about. How about that new team guys? New team! And do all that without it feeling like a giant rushed mess. Heh. Won’t hold my breath.

Overall? Season Seven as others have said for many reasons, is Voltron Legendary Disappointment. Now to be fair, the art, the music, the animation, the voice acting - even given some guff lines, kudos to Josh Keaton for making “Their very home” not sound stupid... All of that was great. All of those staff members involved? A plus, amazing. But the writing...? Oh my good gravy the writing is all over the damn place. Yes, I just write silly fanfics and they’re professionals so what do I know? Their paycheck invalidates my opinion, right? But to be frank some of the mistakes and I do mean mistakes are elementary continuity gaffs. Redundancy. Repetition. Over reliance on exposition. I mean, if this is considered professional then standards have dropped... That’s not to say there weren’t moments of great writing. Moments where it felt like I was actually watching Voltron again rather than an advert for the new guys. But for the most part...? It was odd choice after odd choice. Daft move after daft move. Mess after mess. Forced and contrived plot point after forced and contrived plot point and if I was judging the series solely on the writing... I’d ask why nobody proofread the first draft.

But to literally everyone else involved in the show from the voice actors to the background artists to the intern fetching coffee...? You all did an amazing job with the mess you were given.

The Obligatory Over Long Shipping Bit

It’s not all about the ships, but... To some extent, it kinda is a little. Maybe even a very BIG little... At it’s most basic, a story, any narrative, has three parts.

The Beginning: The Status Quo, the ordinary world.

The Middle: A Challenge To The Status Quo, conflict, introduction of the special world.

The End: A New Status Quo, conflict resolved, special and ordinary world merge or become aligned to create a new standard.

And ships? Well, they’re an aspect of both the conflict in the middle and the New Status Quo at the end. Ships matter. The connection we feel to two or more characters and the connections they gain with each other? They matter. They are the story. So when I bang on about ships beneath, keep that in mind. Keep in mind that watching characters grow and grow closer is an integral part of narrative, romantic, platonic, whatever. Watching dynamics develop and shift between characters matters. That includes ships. And, I’m not calling the show bad because ships. The show itself is flawed, but overall still good. still very good in fact. All I want to do here is share my disappointment and frankly my confusion at the way that all the ships seem to be playing out right now.

But to start... Allurance.

Let me say, emphatically state, that if you enjoy this ship I have no beef with you. I am not against you enjoying it. I am not trying to tell you you’re wrong. If you and I having different opinions on this is enough for you to unfollow me, then fair enough, goodbye and have fun elsewhere, no hard feelings. However, my opinion remains as it has done from the start. Whilst this could have been a solid canonical ship if things had been written differently, as it stands... I can’t support it and feel it’s the worst outcome for these two characters.

Now, I’ve seen the argument that “maybe it all happens off screen” and that I addressed in a post here. The long and the short of it, I want to see characters develop on screen rather than off screen. That is literally what I watch for. The On Screen Developments. Not off screen assumptions. On screen this season, Allura had more bonding moments with Shiro than with her supposed new love interest. Does that make sense to you? Because it doesn’t to me. Then there’s the argument that Lance’s feelings have grown and matured and changed. But honestly, on some level, if Allurance becomes canon, it feels like they haven’t. Let’s go through it on a very basic level.

Allura and Lance meet, he hits on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They work together. He continues to hit on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They keep working together. He hits on her and is jealous and possessive of anyone who even comes near her. - Lance wants to be with her. Lance tones it down a little. Starts to be supportive. You’re the heart of Voltron etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Enter Lotor. Lance remains jealous and possessive, but plays it off to Allura as a joke. “You need a third wheel?” But to everyone else, including the mice, he makes it very very clear this makes him unhappy. - Lance wants to be with her. He makes that speech to the mice about wanting to be a better person, how he’s unworthy etc. etc. etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura finds out about this, seems less than pleased. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura breaks up with Lotor after finding out the man who changed her life is a genocidal space vampire. - Lance wants to be with her. Lance does the supportive hug scene. - Lance wants to be with her. Some stuff off screen presumably and Allura is suddenly over it. - Lance wants to be with her. Dual blushing scene, soft gazes lion scene etc. - Lance wants to be with her and suddenly Allura wants the same thing.

Now, to me at least, I never felt like Lance’s feelings for Allura changed. What changed were his tactics in pursuing that desire. The ultimate ulterior motive of wanting to be with her at no point altered. To me, that severely undermines his and Allura’s growth together. It re-frames the supportive friend hug in season six into the only possible on screen moment that she fell for him and to me that makes Allura seem weak willed, flighty and frankly weak as a character to be rushed into needing a new man so soon after Lotor. It makes Allura into the opposite of what she has been all along. It reframes Lance as being a creep who’s not being entirely honest and is just hanging on to get some Altean Action. It’s unwittingly supportive of the concept in toxic masculinity of No Doesn’t Mean No and I think that’s a dangerous message to be sending these days. We should know better. No means No, it does not and should not mean pursue them like an object you want to possess. In reality, that attitude being normalised can lead to obvious and dangerous extremes. In a story, the pursued partner loses their dramatic agency and is reduced to a prize or else wants to be possessed and is thus framed as less capable. I think the idea of Lance and Allura shifting their dynamic to “genuine romance” between seasons and off screen is cheap. Overall, I feel it devalues both of them rather than enriching them as a ship and an end to two character arcs should. Maybe, like resurrecting Shiro / Kuron early being down to executive meddling, the same is true here? Maybe the plan was for Lance to break the mould of the stereotypical nice guy waiting in the wings? Maybe Lotor being bad was also executive meddling? Or maybe that’s just the scapegoat for the roads we missed out on? The potential lost...

Now, the weird thing is, I’ve seen the argument made that you wouldn’t say that about allurance if allura was a guy. Well...yeah I would. Because if nothing changed except Allura’s sex and/or gender but the events were otherwise identical then it would have exactly the same narrative issues. It would still be undermining both character’s growth and arcs. Chasing someone who isn’t interested is still toxic behaviour regardless of who does it to whom. But if you want to assume that I’m just saying this “because Allura’s a woman” then I guess I can’t stop you, but I hope you take my honest statement that it’s not the case as far as I’m concerned. On the other side of this argument of well if x was y you wouldn’t z, well, that’s just you creating and answering a hypothetical question. Let’s say someone shipped, I dunno Keith and Cosmo. And the defence was “well you wouldn’t call it bestiality if cosmo was human.” And yeah, I suppose if something was changed so drastically there wouldn’t be a problem. But Cosmo is a wolf in Canon. And Allura is a woman in Canon. Maybe nobody would be saying Allurance has problematic elements if Allura was male or maybe the would. I feel that I certainly would see the issue regardless. But that argument is purely hypothetical and anyone who makes it has no way of proving it or supporting it.

There is however another issue in Canon that nobody seems willing to address. Alteans live for centuries. Centuries versus decades of lifespan. That kind of relationship will have the functionally immortal one watching the person they love ROT before their eyes. It will have them mourning their true love for CENTURIES or else callously moving on. It will, if they have or adopt kids, leave the functionally immortal one, watching their own descendants die. The functionally immortal partner will see their love reflected in their descendants eyes and faces. Forced to relive their loss generation after generation. I don’t want to contemplate that end for characters I care about. But that’s what would happen between Lance and Allura. I don’t want to think of Allura watching generations of hers and Lance’s kids and great grand kids dying like flies and thinking of her reliving that loss every hundred years or so as their next batch of descendants die in front of her. Maybe you see it as romantic? I see it as horrifying. And if the issue of Human vs. Altean ages is never dealt with on screen, I’ll assume the creators either didn’t think about it or assumed the audience wouldn’t care. Well I’m sorry, but you made characters that we love, they are part of a lore that we paid attention to. We do care and it does matter.

What I will admit is that maybe, just maybe the way I’m interpreting things isn’t what the creators intended. As much as I am a proponent of Death of the Author, I won’t disregard authorial intent. To those of you who don’t know, Death of the Author essentially states that; all media is a collaborative experience between audience and creators. That no one interpretation of a text is more valid than another. That interpretations can shift and change based on the time and context through which the text is viewed. That interpretations the author never intended are valid. Now, a lot of people seem to have this idea that “Death of The Author” means audience interpretation matters more than that of the author and completely overlook the idea of shared meaning and no one true interpretation. I’m coming at this from the point of view not that the audience owns the text but that we all, audience and author, equally share it and it’s infinite valid interpretations.

So that said, the authorial intent may well be that Lance and Allura’s relationship isn’t and was never meant to be a creepy guy being persistent. That it wasn’t meant to suggest that despite being rebuffed, he should carry on chasing. Maybe it wasn’t meant to seem like he was dishonest, swooping in after a break up to pick up the pieces. Maybe we’re supposed to ignore the ulterior motive to get into her pants that never changed from season one episode one? It may well be their intent was to show a relationship developing healthily and organically but they were rushed and it ended up feeling incomplete? But, that less positive interpretation is just not how it comes across to me and many others. Intent or not, we can only interpret what we see. We don’t hate the idea of these two characters being happy, we just feel like the way it’s portrayed so far doesn’t seem strong enough or doesn’t make it explicit enough that there has been sufficient growth and change on screen to really make us buy it. You may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. The authors may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. I disagree with those opinions and that too is perfectly valid. I don’t hate any of you for feeling the way you do or for reading the text the way you do. Everyone interprets media differently. Please do me the same courtesy and don’t hate me for my interpretation. We can both make valid points yet still disagree. There is not one true and absolute interpretation.

I suppose that leads me here. At this point, given the way that almost every ship possible has been hinted, teased, alluded to or given time onscreen... I wouldn’t be shocked if there aren’t any canonical ships by the end. Just hints. Forever hints. Because if nothing else, the Allurance shippers don’t deserve to be baited and switched. Even if I disagree with the way it’s been portrayed, even if I feel it was rushed and needed time on screen to develop, those shippers deserve a decent payoff if the show is going to tease it so damn hard and so damn obviously. The Sheith shippers have had plenty of hints as well. Kallura looks on the cards half the time. Hunay, Hunelle, Hidge/Punk all got hints at the possibility this season. Keith and Acxa, I was thinking they’d pull that as soon as Keith found her in the weblum. Plance, I may or may not have strong feelings about. Who can say?

But given that the series so far has given so many contradictory hints, even assuming the caveat of multiple interpretations, how could anyone be happy by the end? I mean, if Plance happens and I still believe it makes the most sense for Lance and Pidge’s journeys and character arcs... Well what about the Allura / Lance dual blush moment...? The Allurance fans will ask that and rightly so. Why even include that if it isn’t going to go anywhere...? Chekov’s Gun. I can’t even deny myself that if the plan really was for Lance to move on, this would have been the season to explore that to make it feel organic. If Lance ends up moving on in the next season, then that will suddenly feel forced as well. The amount of ship baiting going on is a little frustrating. I can’t see how it could end in a satisfying way for every baited ship. So, maybe they’re just going to have nobody end up with anybody canonically? At this stage, part of me would rather have that than have my OTP confirmed in canon. Because if what has happened so far is anything to go by... I’m just going to be disappointed at it feeling rushed and artificial. Unearned and pulled out of left field at the last second. With all the build up to Allurance, whether I think it hit the mark or not, it feel like it would be cheap and rushed to have him suddenly move on in the next and last season. Plance might end up feeling not organically developed, just, info dumped into existence for time constraints. I’ve been seeing hints between Lance and Pidge since episode one. Waiting for them to change their dynamic for all that time and seeing hint after subtle hint, seeing how perfectly their two stories align. They literally and narratively complete one another. And yet, if it comes down to it that one line or one half baked scene or even one future still image in a montage at the end of the series, is the confirmation of them hooking up...? Then even I won’t feel like my ship was worth coming true in canon. I’d rather have it never come true than have it come true as badly, as forced, as potentially interpreted as toxic, as contrary to the narrative and as ultimately unsatisfying as Allurance seems to be right now. I have no issue with Allurance being the end game. I would just have wanted to see it done justice and right now... It just isn’t. Don’t agree? Ok, well...

Compare and contrast... One person in this series, Allura creates - using Alchemy - a means to be whole again. A weapon capable of overcoming a nemesis in visual dramatic parallel. Having learned Alchemy through tainted means from her Evil Ex, she’s now able to put it to physical tangible use for a new person. Not only that but she sacrifices her crown, her symbol of office, one of her last remnants of her dead home world in order to make that creation whole. She has shown this person nothing but respect and kindness otherwise. Another person she barely interacted with aside from telling him to shut up then in the space of one episode they’re all blushy because reasons.

I’m being a little facetious, but let’s be honest.... What this shows is that Allura literally has a more meaningful and narratively significant set of interactions with SHIRO than she does with Lance this Season. Shiro’s arm represents her turning the bad experience with Lotor to good. Her giving up her symbol of Altean Royalty shows she’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. And through that bond, she grants him the power to turn the Atlas into a giant robot. Where she created the Sincline out of a dishonest partnership, the Altas-Mecha is formed by honest...well, it looks like LOVE to me. Now I’m not saying I ship them. But if you showed me this season out of context with any of the rest of Voltron, I would be shipping Shiro with Allura even though he’s Gay. Because frankly, in the story told on screen this season that actually makes way more sense than shipping her with Lance. Even out of context, even assuming no Lotor, no previous issues, Lance and Allura being hinted just seems...out of nowhere this season.

Maybe I should just wait for the sequel series where everyone ends up with total randoms off screen that nobody is happy with? Maybe the ships that make the most sense and have been hinted at the most will be forgotten or end up with off screen unhappy marriages as some vague and irksome attempt at being “mature”. Yes, I’m still salty about Toph/Sokka as well as Kataang, what of it? Sometimes you just want the characters you have grown to love and adore to have a happy ending together. Is that too much to ask...?

So, season 8 predictions...?

After a heartwarming episode that teases Coranecker, Lotor will finally get his redemption arc. And by arc I mean, episode. There will be an entire episode devoted to info dumping how he wasn’t really a space vampire the whole time and Romelle got the wrong end of the stick. This episode will tease Lotura again as well as hinting at Hungar, Huntor, Hunlia and Huray, the Polyship of Hunk Coran and Shay. Haggar, having now established herself as the dark queen of the Quantum Abyss will send wave after wave of Altean-Robeasts at Voltron, before the series finally ends in, you guessed it, another big battle with another new big robot. There will be a “we won” montage, Sendak will somehow be resurrected or a void creature will emerge from Daibazol to set up the Big Bad for the sequel series. Maybe both. Nobody will end up with anyone and the next series and/or movie will be hinted at. We might end up with a cliffhanger to tease the sequel series. And we’ll all go away a little disappointed and a little happy all at once. Oh and Black Paladin Kaltenecker of course.

Salty semi-joking aside, at this point given how rushed the series has obviously become, I really would not be shocked if Lotor DID get a redemption plot that was dealt with in a single episode. Or a single sentence. Just like the way he was turned into a Genocidal Space Vampire in a single episode, I’m sure they can turn him into the Space Pope in a single episode. Maybe blame it all on a rift creature? Or maybe save that plot thread for the next series, given that in 13 episodes there’s no way they can cover everything they want to AND cover it as well as they want to. Or just never mention them again. It’s not like they were set up to be majorly important or anything.

Also, if the whole of Voltron Legendary Defender is now going to be a backdoor pilot for Voltron The Garrison Guys or whatever, that seems disappointing more than exciting. Voltron Legendary Defender should be it’s own show first and a sequel should organically follow based on success or failure. If there was always a plan to have more seasons as a sequel series then...

USE THOSE EXTRA SEASONS TO GIVE THIS STORY THE ROOM IT NEEDED!!!

Make VLD the best it can be before assuming we need a sequel series at all. We wouldn’t have half the problems we have now of story lines feeling rushed if, get this the story lines had more episodes to not be rushed! We could have had more Past-Paladins. Keith’s backstory could have been explored as a full episode or two not spoon fed to us by time flashbacks. Allurance could feel less forced and artificial. Lotor’s betrayal could have been given more than a single episode info-dump. We could have actually explored Allura’s feelings and hr process of getting over one of the most important relationships in her life turning to shit. Give this story the time and space it needs to breathe and grow. Let THIS story be told in a well paced way rather than being forced to rush to hit the deadlines for the sequel series. If VLD ends up being less well received owing to bad or rushed writing, we may just end up with zero interest in the sequel series anyway. It’s self defeating!

Don’t have entire episodes devoted to characters who show up, info dump and then are mute for the rest of the season. Don’t have entire plot threads be rushed and resolved in time less than they deserve! And if you can’t do that...

THEN TRIM THE FAT!!!

We can probably all point to a bit that felt “rushed” or “forced” or “out of left field” and that all comes down to a single fact. So far, there has been far too much story to tell in far too few episodes. So certain plot threads end up suffering as a result. Not being fully realised. Not being given anything more than flashbacks and montages rather than full episodes examining in greater emotional depth and deeper narrative exploration.

I would rather see a simple story well told than a complex story rushed for time. What we seem to get in seasons 6+ of Voltron are attempts to tell the entire story they wanted but being forced to cut it short for time. Sadly, what would have been better than telling the full story badly would be telling as much of it as you can save well and discarding the rest. Maybe that’s already happened? Wouldn’t shock me.

Lotor deserved better. Allurance if it becomes canon, deserved to have been built upon to make it seem more deserved, less creepy nice guy. Allura deserved to have on screen time to adapt, grieve and move on from Lotor. Matt could have had time to develop his relationship on screen. Plance if it becomes canon deserves time to shine, because for many fans out there if it does becomes canon in season 8 then for them it will seem rushed, sudden, forced. Or worse, Pidge will always seem like Lance’s backup girl... As Said before, even me as a hardcore Plance Shipper feels like it can’t possibly be given the time it deserves to feel earned when we have just one season left to tie it all together.... So again, maybe all they can do at this stage is shrug and only ever give hints as to whom ends up with whom in this massive cast...? And then just spew out the sequel series. Because we gotta sell those new toys.

I cared and invested in the VLD characters. I wanted their story to be their story and not just a vehicle to sell the next series that, to be honest, I’m probably not going to be remotely interested in.

The Salt Floweth To An End

There is SO much potential in VLD that was squandered by things being rushed, compacted, cut and yet also being massively bloated despite this. Then there’s the obvious executive meddling that can’t have helped for a second... It just ends up making everything messy and unfocused. This season was a mess. Entertaining, yes, compelling, yes and damn good overall but with so many moments that just hit shy of the mark the creators obviously were aiming for. Almost all of it down to the writing. Because the animators, musicians, actors and all the other cast and crew did an amazing job. But the writing was...just a totally confused mess.

Overall, it ends up being Great rather than Exceptional which breaks my heart. Because the first 5 seasons? Exceptional. Every aspect. Especially the writing. But from Six onward? Everything seems to just crack and fray around the edges, the polish wears thin and the whole thing feels just slightly less like everyone involved gave 100%. Maybe a solid 90%, and some still went above and beyond... But things, in my opinion, shifted. Sometimes in service of “surprises” and sometimes just because they needed to rush. Whatever the case, it feels like somewhere along the line the writers stopped caring as much. If at all. Will I watch season 8? Sure. But I’ll always know it could have been so much more if they’d been given more time and more room to let the story flourish. At this point I doubt it’s possible given the already obvious lack of focus in the writing, that we’ll see every plot thread tied up to satisfaction. I’m not even going to kid myself that they’ll do it all well because that’s just not going to happen. I’ll be shocked if they manage it at all. Frankly I’ll be shocked if the last season doesn’t focus more on the new team again... I am not looking forward. It feels like a chore now. Will I watch the sequel series if there is one. No. Probably not. I wanted Voltron Legendary Defender to be given all the time it needed to be exceptional. I didn’t want to watch an advert for the next series and the next group of characters and toys. Especially if we’ll just end up seeing them all wasted, rushed and never allowed to live up to their potential as well. I was invested in VLD and it sucks that my investment is used as a marketing ploy for a potential new show before being discarded. Ah well. There’s always fanfics I guess... Though even that tastes a little bitter now... Like I'm just another part of the Voltron Hype Machine and not even getting paid to do it... Sucks and it taints what I plan to do and what I already have done... I do want to continue supporting the show and the ship I love along with all the fans out there in The Garden, but right now... I’m left feeling so conflicted. In two minds about how much I enjoy this show and yet despite that, how often and how glaring some of the errors, missteps and plain crazy choices they seem to be making along the way... It’s hard to feel 100% positive, but I did make this post and I stand by it. If the Voltron writers won’t give us the reality that makes the most sense? We make it ourselves. I did make these three posts and I stand by all of them as well. Even now as it seems like the writer’s minds are falling apart like chunks of wet cake, I still maintain that Plance makes the most sense in the story for those two characters I loved. Will it still make sense at the end of the series? Honestly, yeah. I’m sure it will still make more sense than whatever the writers eventually decide to churn out. Here’s hoping Season 8 is...something...

#vld season 7 #voltron spoilers #voltron season seven #voltron season 7 spoilers #spoilers #salt #bear writes a dissertation on a cartoon #voltron legendary disappointment

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strangesugar-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Pot update: Snow

I kinda just put the hard sell on Snow. It could totally backfire but honestly whatever, better than being in limbo.

Our date yesterday was only ok. It wasn't the most awful thing in the world, but I feel like maybe we could have a better connection? Part of this is definitely on me, I know I need to up my game. Part of me is actually like, maybe I should step back from the bowl and get my shit in better order, then come back rearing to go. Like actually learn some more about more topics, current events, get all my grooming stuff in order, my house in order, create systems, a few more basic nice things to wear on dates, catch up on everything in my personal life, etc etc. But also like, a lot of that takes money - which I need these men for 😂 And realistically I'll probably never reach that magical point of having my shit properly in order haha. But it just seems too overwhelming to tackle it all as I go. I don't know.

Anyway, there were a few awkward silences, but he's kind of a weird conversationalist. He sort of doesn't ease in to topics, he will suddenly just ask really vague kind of questions and I get caught off guard. The restaurant we were at also had a glass wall by where we were sitting that looked through to a place with stuff going on next door that was enthralling him, so he'd keep looking at that and the conversation was kind of bitsy and weird. He was asking about turn ons, fantasies etc too, but considering it's our second date and I haven't seen a dime I'm kinda thinking that was a bit much, but also like, I really do need to make a list of interesting enough but not too weird things to say when they ask, lol. I felt like a boring human when I just clammed up and didn't know what to say. My turn-ons/kinks change depending on who I'm with, the situation, etc, and honestly not that many apply with him. Like I know we all joke about it on here, but for real, money actually does make me so wet. I can't exactly say fuck me in a pile of your cash then give it all to me. Or talk dirty about how rich/important you are and all the things you're going to buy me 😂 My two other main Things are a really specific body type that doesn't apply to him, or "cheating" (he knows, but still) on my husband with lots of verbal stuff about it, which is a) weird and b) incriminates, for lack of a better word, my husband, which I don't want to do in case anything goes wrong the last thing we need is anyone coming out with bad/embarrassing stuff about him as well as me. Or maybe like, me being all dom (fin-dom even better) on him and making him fucking worship me while I deny him orgasm 😂 Which once again makes me look money-hungry and conceited, and like, I'm not under any illusions, I'm really not worshippable, I'm not really that hot or put together or interesting or fun, and probably not that good in bed tbh due to the whole long-term sexless marriage thing. So I'll have to make a list of some less weird things to pull out I think haha, just some basic subby stuff I guess, teasing, maybe fun/cute orgasm denial on both our ends instead of it being mean, cutesy names, blah blah. Maybe ask to call him Daddy? A bit of exhibitionist stuff to tie in with him? Lmao.

Anyway. I talked to him a bit about the privacy stuff and he actually bought up first getting stuff sent somewhere else or whatever, then i expanded on that with the po box idea, so that's good at least. He seemed quite open to me continuing to be vague on identifiable details in general, which I appreciate.

Anyway, I kinda thought I might have blown it with my awkwardness tbh, but he said as we were leaving that he really wanted to see me again and then texted later "Was super to see you babe and am excited to know you better and explore if we are going to live out your fantasies". I figured I should take a bit and think about what to reply, because I don't just want him to think I'm going to keep going on dates for free, and try and figure out how to word it, but life got in the way and I never replied like an asshole. I just replied not long ago with an apology and a bit of small talk, but then put the hard-sell on him. I'm not gonna copy/paste bc it's long, but basically like yeah i wanna see you again, but I need to know where this is going (he keeps saying that he's not sure about the whole allowance thing bc he's never done it before, blah blah, but that he's not necessarily saying no, just that it feels weird to him) and whether or not the allowance will work out for him etc before we go too much further. I said I wanted him to want to do it and not to feel resentful, and he could take some time to think it over of course, but that each meet takes time/money for getting ready, transport, other things I don't do with that time, etc etc and I need to know it's going somewhere before investing more time blah blah. I said if he'd like to meet one more time (and casually used the word "platonically" to hopefully make it clear that means I'm not ok with a bunch of dirty talk for free lol) before deciding that I totally understand, but that I would have to ask for a "small gift" to cover my time, transport, etc, and that hopefully he understood from my perspective. Because to be fair, he knows I'm not wanting just a spoiled side-hoe gig, and we've already met twice, so I think it's fair that anything beyond that has some kind of compensation.

Oh also I was thinking of calling in after our meet to the salon to get my nasty growing-out hair cut. He asked where and I told him. They had one same day appt but i said I'd call back to confirm bc it was gonna be a rush to get there after the date. I ended up deciding to take it and tried to call back twice in the Lyft on the way and once after the date but couldn't get in touch with them which was a shame since i was over that way. Anyway he was asking what I was getting done, and asked if it was my roots (he wasn't being rude lol I'd already talked about fixing them) and I said nah I do that at home to keep costs down, just a cut. And he was saying how he wished he didn't have to leave so he could take me and pay. Like, he's so obsessed with being involved with everything, like, I don't want you there while I'm getting a haircut lol? I'm gonna look like a weird drowned rat? It will be awkward as fuck. But of course he didn't offer to give me something towards it to do myself. Oh and he pointed out that there was a salon two doors down like... ok? I go to my other one because it's cheap lol, are you going to take me before you have to leave and give your card details to them or something? No? Well i don't understand your point. It's like he's super willing to spoil but only if he has a ton of input, and like, I get that for fun stuff like clothes/lingerie or fun makeup or whatever, but for my boring daily "things I always get and know what i like" essentials kinda stuff it's like... that's gonna get annoying pretty quick.

Anyway, we'll see how he responds to that i guess, I'm not too worried either way. I'm torn. Like I hope he's down for it but also I actually did kinda lowball myself tbh like he's worth a LOT of money, but I fell into the trap of trying not to look money hungry since he's not used to allowances, and since he was going to be spoiling me a lot on dates and go shopping etc I went with a pretty low allowance figure. I figure since it's my first time etc it was ok but honestly now I'm kinda regretting it like I should have asked for more considering his worth and how often he wants to see me. Plus I feel like he's not going to stop bugging me about traveling which i really can't do. He so badly wants at least a Vegas weekend with me. I genuinely wish I could but I can't. So part of me actually kinda wants him to say no, I don't even know haha. Either way is a win I guess, bag my first SD and maybe try and find another one on the side, maybe be able to work my number up with time or really take advantage of the "extras", and at least have something coming in, ooor not and free up more time for me to find someone else, work on myself and my confidence and be ready to ask for what i really deserve next time.

I'll let you know what happens.

#mine #snow

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11toe11-blog · 4 years

Text

Horsewomen

May i enter. Quietly. For insight. And take back nothing but truth.

____

I sit here waiting.

I sit here waiting for you.

This is uncomfortable. This is actually a rather unsettling feeling. My breathing is no deeper than my upper chest. I am distracted. I want some distraction. Watch something nonsensical. Eat. Eat plenty. Something to comfort me. This sense of hunger, of not being full, no matter what i am putting in - from the healthiest to the junkiest.

He wants to mute me.

He is making pulao and raita. Just what i need maybe. Maybe with that i’ll be satiated. Calm this restlessness.

Weight on the chest. Cant go, oh damn! on it. Just watch it. Even if i spent the last month and a half working this weight off.

Actors freeze writers block.

Dont i have anything to write? After steam rolling for a week.THe point when i assumed things would come together into a giant revelation?

Breathe into the belly. Reach out from formula.

“What do i mean by…”

I miss. I miss kalari. Its a fact. I miss. I miss thiru. I miss. I am a miss. I am amiss, between a miss and a missus.

Something in the face sharts shifting. Music is hindustani. Kishori amolkar he announces, informs, sticking is head out of building pulao.

Watched S’s viva. As she discussed body widsom as the maker and keeper of stories, and the source of the individial truth and meaning making process we all search for.

Watched Su’s body leave her home of 85 years. Watched Su’s body after her spirit left its home of 85 years. He brows were tight together, as if frozen amidst a painful exercise to recall something.

Mid sentence, mid building he walks over for the hug, hug of reconciliation, hug of understanding, a hug to acknowledge, a hug to reassure - one of us, both of us.

A death happened.

Finally. After a dance on the edges that lasted almost 2 years. I remember sitting in the room with my therapist as art of the Art Therapy studies, and role playing with a strange dream, where i was arguing with R and having some experience of the Buzz road first floor centered around my possessions- why it cant be moved or something and his friends being around and me feeling alientated; while down in the ground floor abyss, the dreamer was distinctly aware of death waiting. The house didnt quite look like this, but was the same. In a way that spaces rearrange them selves in dreams, an additional corridor there, an elevation somewhere else, a door connecting two opposite ends of the house directly.

I dont know her at all. I have barely spoken to her more than a few handful of times in the 4 years that Buzz road has been my home. And none of the conversations have lasted more than a few minutes. She was a fine looking thin lady. Who i was told was a shell of her former robust self, and had alzheimer's setting in. So the main door, which is the common entrance to all the three floors had to be locked early enough. She would have anxieties otherwise.

Nothing too loud or boisterous.

Its never been loud or boisterous at buzz road from the time i have known it. Maybe when i got to know it, it was around the time it had gotten contemplative, retrospective, nostalgic. With not enough energy to hold the heightened states of merry making and large groups splashing their vibrance around. But finding them quietly in the folds of memory, back and forth, and reweaving them, alone.

I came into the quiet buzz road; a buzzing road thats quietened now, i realize.

People were talking about the sheer energy she possessed. I can imagine. Even when the last time we exchanged pleasantries, as i walked to junk the compost into the new compost pit we had going in the back yard, she was clear in her gaze, her glance inspire of all the tubes running out of her. Was that the last time she saw me? Or when i had my lungi pulled up, carrying the water cans to the first floor. I had put on an effort to be myself, anticipating judgements for my hairy legs, or my unconventionality inspite of my desperate attempts to fit into the conventional. Whatever conventional means.

I now wear diamond earrings to honor a memory. Of someone i have only met in books and ideas. WHo would have thunk!

He comes over from the pillars of pulao. Share a few grains of his memory.

The sense of community he is experiencing at the moment - in the virtual world with the responses that came in response to his tribute to her, -in this space, with his cousin who he felt he had nothing in common with. A point he always kept making. Until now, when he seems to suddenly have noticed a shared childhood. He accepted his cousin’s invitation to be there on the 10th and 13th day and was touched by the gensture, though he trailed off a “my beliefs are my own” as he made his way back into the kitchen.

From the kitchen he recounts and as kishori continues to inspire the pulao, how his aunt took him to the hospital after his infamous fall off the rockface, he had managed to get back home pushing his conked motor bike before fainting in the loo with a shirt soaking in blood. Quite dramatic. This bit of the story is new to me. I knew of the fall. And the 7 stitches. I didnt know she featured in the story, which i imagined to be the grand fall that shook the 3 worlds and its from that impact on the earth that i was born.

He was 18. My parents copulated. 1983.

This is quite a nice start to the mythical story.

What is this sentimentality? I am not a sentimental person. Sensitive yes. Sentimental? Not really.

In all senses i am aware of the fact that death doesnt mean anything. Other than the change of the playing scene. For the person who dies. Atleast for most people who die. A change of play for the actor.

For the co-actors, yea its awkward. Suddenly, the improvisation has new energy, an unknown. Space available for new possibilities.

Also a sense of a loss of the playing dynamics, which has to be refigured in new context.

Thats all death is.

And i myself must be dying in a million ways in the million multiverses, never mind “the other” dying. The infinite stages strung together and the actor playing out the infinite possibilities of each second.

The thought of him dying was obsessive,for last two years. Its only of late that i have been able to relax. Otherwise it was a high alert since his tryst with the fissure and bp. I would be up at night watching and monitoring the deapth of his breath as he snored on. The thought of him dying and the paranoia that set in was a pattern repeat of the tightly controlled panic I experienced regularly as a teenager when my mother came home wheezing and we spent the whole nights praying and trying to help her get some relief. With no one else to turn for help. Sheer holding-on to the the caregiver, protector, provider.

Sheer holding-on as the intermediate caregiver, protector, supporter.

Today i am lot more relaxed. The pattern that was triggered two years ago has eased. It gave a sample of the minefield of triggers that lay dormant in my mindscape.

Last night when he spoke of his will, after the initial reaction of sheer panic setting in, and then watching it pass, i was able to engage in the conversation - who should the bangalore house be left for? A. She has plenty in her name already. What about AV? Wonderful idea. He is a lonewolf with a strong sense of community. And will find some meaning and continuity, “make something with it, share it”.

Pondi house is for me.

There is no house in pondi yet. There is land in pondi. And our dreams for the home. Our mutual curiosity of this human instinct, nesting. What does it mean to make a nest with someone - which is neither his nor mine, but ours.

Pondi house is for us.

Its ours.

Quite fitting for the closet romantics that we both are.

Such a relief this sentence gave me. Pondi house is for us. Its ours.

What a burden it seems to be lifting from my shoulders.

My self image moves, glides past the harshly lit railings where it was held prisoner by my critical self - ever questioning my intentions of initiating and insisting on insisting on a home in pondicherry. Is it greed? Is it the easy way out? Are you in this for the money?

To something lit with a much softer glow of depth and wisdom. And love and respect.

Ustad Ali Akbar Khan takes the manch.

Nobody else may understand this. But we do. You and i, do.

That ours is a dance of light and shadows. We love and hate. Trust and mistrust. We make love with the enemy. Sleep, cook. Learn to trust. Love. The historical “ other”.

Far from Romeo Juliet. Far far from it. Infact, it probably starts where SSpere left off.

Imagine in play space: Romeo is reborn. Some 20 years ahead of Juliet, who was stuck in a limbo in some portal. And they finally meet. And there is nothing in the way- no warring families, no borders, no jealous friends, no helpful friends either - there is nothing helping, there is nothing standing in the way - except themselves. And all their assumption and presumptions.

“oh! I dint realize you were so obsessive.”

“Oh! I didnt realize you had such a nasty streak”

“You dont listen”

“This is far from the ever after i imagined”

Well, as i write this i suppose this is following the graph of every relationship there is. Nothing unconventional here. Inspite of all our ideas and stories of how unconventional this is.

Also, we arent really gear shifting because we have no kids.

Am i ok with that? Not having a child? Yes. In many ways. It will be nice to have someone to shape and mould and protect and spoil. But when i imagine, i dont think i will be doing something very different from what my mother did - circumstances and conveniences may be different - but the structure is the same - shape, mould, protect and spoil and love - with different degrees of ingredients - but still a replication of the process. Thats what nature is best at, no? Replicating. I dont want to do that. I can see past that temptation.

A cat will do. Or a squirrel. Or a raven. Or a garden lizard, according to him.

Coco.

One coco gone from the terrace. So many coco’s playing around in the goundfloor garden.

Sleepy.

Call with K is postponed to tomorrow.

Project Objex continues to delvelop and offer rich insights offline. Though the thread is held online. No, The thread is seemingly held online.

I find myself pretty uninteresting at the moment.

Stitching classes with mom is nice. Nice is a strange word. And a strange word is what i need to describe it. She is clear and simple. With sketchy camera angling skills. But in her area of expertise, she leaves me with no room for doubts or confusions. Reminded me of how she used to teach me as a child. I remember she used to say a thing only twice, if i made her repeat a third time, i would get whacks for not paying attention. And now she seems to be the epitome of patience, as i also notice my child self coming to the fore, to provoke and test, with disinterest and wandering attention and confusion. She holds the thread with such firm clarity and patience, that i notice the child self dissolving away, making way for me to inhabit the present. In the beginning, 15 minutes into the session, i noticed fatigue and disinterest and irritation setting. And by the end of the class i was clear and inspired and received the information she was clearly trying to transmit. I notice myself eagerly summarising all that i understood at the end of the session. Satisfaction and closure for her. And for me.

All that the giver has to give, needs a taker.

So that the giver can give fully and completely. And be free.

I feel when i am listening to my mother, i feel i am also simultaneously receiving from my grandmother. A line of women who understood cloth. And clothes.

A line of women, who were a few generations ago not permitted to cover their breasts, fashioning the most interesting and quirky ways of covering and revealing.

A line of women, some of who also sliced and placed a breast or two at the altar of life unlived.

A life of women who may have forgotten the joys of sun and wind and rains on naked breasts.

For me to understand R, i had to bring it closer to home. Last night the news of his aunts passing, meant that the inevitable event of his parents passing is clearer in the minds eye. I wouldnt have understood it, if i hadnt played out the scene of mom passing. And i notice that i keep telling myself that i will hold it together, like a stoic -like the stoic. Though the physical sensation is of a collapse a caving in. Like it matters. As if what matters is how i respond to it.

And its true. In an improvisation, a sudden disappearance of an actor...

Ashwini BIde Deshpande takes the mach.

The transformer catches fire. In a way that i have never seen it catch fire before - with a big long sideways trialing flame. And abruptly stops. WE gather candles and he goes to alert the watchman to make the calls to the electricity board. And i wonder if its a hello from the other worlds.

And its true. In an improvisation, a sudden appearance of an actor...gentle drizzzle

And its true. In an improvisation, a sudden disappearance of an actor...and the only thing that matter there is how you respond to the moment, to the change in space, how i respond to a new space.

He does the tadka, a vertical flame lover the ladle he uses for tadka.

We are such theatre.

But why is our sensation of it so mundane and unheightned. As if there is no audience.

The sense of audience , of someone watching is what has fuelled most of the adventures in life. Like on is at once living at writing ones autobiography, and featuring in a biography, all at the same time. The vantage of the witness. Is what inspired this whole era of camera and film and now virtual.

Very many ways of the mirror.

The vantage of the inner witness. Makes me relax a little, teeny weeny, into the belly. The breath is quarter an inch deeper.

What was the word that mom used for leaving a little extra provision of cloth - side something...let me check the book. Not side - seam. Seam Allowance. At least i got the first alphabet right. S. Mom and me have a long way to here, i see.

I didnt realise or register that R’s aunt used to play male roles in the play. She was an actress. I didnt know R’s very married aunt was happy to flirt with the handsome doc while R was getting stitched up from his fall. But around her, knowing that she lived down stairs, and maybe from the kind of home she lived in and her seemingly very traditional exchanges with people around her, I shrank. I felt I would be judged for not fitting in line with the expectation of a space. Walked past her awkwardly, pausing only for pleasantries. Not visiting her in her room as often as i could have and as often as i wanted to even, for the strangeness of the exchange.

Nor having the balls to suggest playing some classical music to her. Some respite from the dreaded TV.

Did i judge her illness or her age or her wealth?

Made it all about me?

Wanting to listen to music quietly together with a practical stranger at her bedside, we must share some language no? Some connection had to have happened. Some step one and two had to be crossed to find that step three. Or could i have straight have jumped to three? Long and short, that want, which kept appearing as an image, i believed was a response to her experience of intense loneliness. And my helplessness.

Which is understandable, one of the first descriptions of her from people who knew her was how social she was -how she was surrounded by friends. Yet in the past year and a half she saw no one except the nurses who were with here round the clock, her children, daughterinlaw, sister who regularly visited and maybe us once in a while and her, and occasional visits from her nieces and nephews. Watched plenty of TV. And went in and out of a hospital. And lived in looping memory. Ate mostly from a tube. The dabba that formulas came in we now use to store flowers for the pooja room everyday.

I would have really liked to go and sit and listen to her, her stories. But i didnt have the balls. What if she rejected me. I would take it very personally. I would be very hurt.

Because i kept dancing on the brink of the rejections. Dreading rejections from R, from friends, from peers, from the kalari. That i so intensely yearn to belong.

And so imagining that possible rejection, and a cruel word - i never made an effort. Even when i wanted to.

Just before she left to the hospital the last time round, I didnt go into her room. Walking past the gesture of one of her nurses to come in - justifying it mentally with “not wearing a mask”. Maybe i was arguing a lot with R and had no bandwidth for the extended family at the moment. Maybe when i argue with R i see no reason why i live here. Maybe when i am arguing with R, i feel I dont belong here. And my whole presence here is a lie. And i dint want her too catch my dishonesty of intentions, of superficiality. My fears.

I have often been plagued by the feeling of helplessness here at buzz road. Much lesser now. This round of our stay has been far more hands on, “empowered”, and with room for changes and play of dynamics. Me allowing myself to do the things i feel like doing at the cost of being “seen”.

Noticing caste encoded in the body memory. Because i have no lived memory of it. My earliest association with identity is being told by my father that i had “no caste, no gender, no religion”, i was human and a girl as equal to any boy.

Why then did i feel my space shrink here? Did i subtly read your judgments without even noticing it? R tells me that you singled out your daughter for her dark skin. Not moer than half a shade darker surely, because i didnt at all notice any color variations in your skins; you all looked like you were from the same family and that was it. Is that why i feel great kindship with the people who work here - because i unknowingly somewhere by the color of my skin maybe they judge me as one of them?

So there is a story of rejection here that i picked up from the space and wove into my story.

Kabira khada baazar mein

Mangey sabki Kahir

Nahi kahoon sey dosti

Nahi kahoon sey bair

I spent an hour faffing to escape finishing this page. Because it doesnt seem to be getting over. One think is linking to the next and then to the next, faster than i can write.

Or want to write.

I can let go.

Yes.

I can let this go.

I dont have to hold on to it like the bag that L and I tugged between each other other over compulsion to be the ideal daughterinlaw/good samaritan.

Lets me just summarize to myself that today i glimpsed the family, this group of people bound together by blood relations, a lot deeper than i ever have. I noticed wounds, as much as i noticed bonds. I noticed bonds, as much as i noticed wounds.

And i have no idea how i walked into this story, which seems to be an epic in itself with my own sense of great mythical journeying. I want nothing from them except peace and resolving and healing of wounds.

And thats what seems to be happening.

No one is counting all this work we are doing in the GDP. I always liked micro economics over macro economics.

Something.

Sleep

___

I gently close the door behind me. Notice the skin a bit shirvelled from time spent a touch too long in war. Thank you for keeping me safe in your waters. Thank you for the waves.

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