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woongiesea · 4 months ago

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🖤 ── 𝐿osing 𝒜ll 𝑀y 𝐼nnocence 𝐼n 𝒯he 𝐵ackseat

bttm!male reader x top!mingi (ateez)

in which after a heated club night, mingi teaches his best friend how to have sex !

content warning: gay sex, oral sex, anal sex, mingi's first time topping, virgin!reader / reader's first time, car sex, dacryphilia (?), fingering, size kink, unprotected sex (don't irl !), non-idol au (?) implied second round

lmk if there are any more :p

loosely inspired by addison rae's diet pepsi <33

author's note: hi everyonee !! tysm for all the love on the jiwoong fic, and im back with an anon req, sorry if this took too long im kinda busy with life :p. i wrote this in 3rd person instead of 2nd person this time so reading this might be diff from the first one. this is my first time writing for mingi so i hope its realistic lmao 😭

also mingichella ruined my life.

! MINORS DNI !

"So, where are we going?" y/n asked, curiosity laced in his tone. Currently he was sitting in front of the mirror, legs folded on the hotel room carpet as he dabbed a brush with black eyeshadow on the outer corners of his eyes, brushing through his black tresses, moving silky strands out of his eyes. "You randomly just told me to get ready without telling me anything..."

Y/n could hear shuffling around the hotel room. From the corner of his eyes he could see Mingi shuffling through his coats and leather jackets hanging in all their black and grey glory, waiting to be picked by him to go out in the cigarette-and-chanel no.5-smelling streets of new york.

You and Mingi were finally taking your "best friends" trip that the both had you been raving about since you learned about the existence of New York City. You could tell in Mingi's smirk that he was planning something, and you were scared what he was cooking up in that mischevious head of his.

"Should I just go bare-chested?" Mingi asked, from one corner of the hotel room, out of view from the mirror you peered into, searching for his face. You turned around from where his voice came.

Mingi ruffled his freshly dyed platinum-blonde hair, an impulse decision he made yesterday, claiming that it "would look hot". His leather pants stretched and wrinkled across his long legs and thighs with perfection, glistening under the harsh blindingness of the white hotel room lights. A black jacket draped his torso, with sparkling chains and necklaces adorning his neck. As he cheekily stated, it was obvious he was wearing no shirt underneath, a tackily zipped-up zipper threatening to reveal his lower torso and abs.

Y/n rolled his eyes, barely containing a gasp out of pure shock. "Fuckin' slut." he says, his tone laced with sarcasm. "It's a good outfit, but I don't know where we're going to, so I can't place you on the cunt-o-meter just yet."

Mingi raised an eyebrow. "Cunt-o-meter?"

Y/n rolled his eyes. "How much cunt you're serving. Depends on the occasion you're serving all this for." he says, eyes scanning over his 6 foot frame.

"Trust me, we need maximum point on the cunt-o-meter." Mingi cringed as the words came out his mouth, muttering a small "whatever that means."

"Well then, you're good to go, then!" Y/n says cheerily, his words accompanied by a quick "click!" of his makeup palette closing up. He fluttered his eyelids to show off his "edgy" eye look he was planning. "How do I look?"

Mingi smirked. "I like it, you look like a pretty boy." He giggled, showing off his gummy smile that made y/n heart skip a beat at his cuteness, despite how the other was dressed right now. Y/n got up, awkwardly twirling around to show off his outfit.

"Now, unlike you I am not a slut and do infact have self respect. How do I look?" Y/n's outfit was moderately simple - an oversized black sweater he borrowed from Mingi, with denim shorts cheekily teasing at his thighs, and the white knee-lenghts he was seemingly obsessed with.

At this, Mingi wrapped an arm around the shorter's shoulders, his arm seemingly overtaking his entire figure. He smiled. "Let's go."

timeskip

"Alright, that was the first and last time I'm going clubbing with your ass." Y/n groaned, practically collasping into the passenger seat of a somehow sober Mingi's car. Mingi giggled at his friend, who was currently rolling his eyes and proudly displaying him a middle finger. "And why didn't you tell me we were gonna go clubbing? I would've dressed sluttier!" Y/n whined.

"Wearing what, exactly?" Mingi raised an eyebrow in a cocky fashion. "You're scared to go to the pool shirtless. Heck, you can't even wear tank tops in front of me!" He teased. Mingi laughed at y/n's reaction, which was now both middle fingers being stretched in front of his face.

"Whatever. Atleast I don't have the lack of self respect that I let myself being tossed around between 4 guys !" Y/n exclaimed, pointing to Mingi's smudged lipgloss.

"Well, atleast I don't sit in the corner despite half the club trying to flirt with me!" Mingi replied with the same snarky tone. "And I remember that I don't own the glasses!"

"Song Mingi, I'm gonna kill you- and I didn't end up taking the glass with me, did I?" but Y/n's counterattack was ignored.

Mingi had a sinister look on his face. "You had atleast 5 guys foaming at the mouth to take you home, and yet you complain about being single." He smirked with a look of intrigue. "Could it be..." He leaned in closer to y/n till he ear brushed against his pink lips. "You don't know how to have sex, y/n?"

The flustered look on Y/n's face confirmed his suspicions. "Eyes on the road, idiot!" Y/n retaliated, causing Mingi to smirk as he continued driving.

"So, your innocent ass doesn't know how to fuck? How surprising for someone as freaky as you."

"Just keep driving or I'll cannibalize you."

Mingi's car suddenly came to a hault in some dark corner, in some street that seemed nowhere near the streets you memorized on the way to your hotel. Mingi leaned in closer, inhaling the smell of alcohol and your sweet perfume mixed with sweat that lingered on his sweater, currently draping your figure.

"Mingi, where are w-"

"Backseat. Now."

"What the fu-"

"Now."

smut below, minors dni.

"M-mingi, fuck!" Y/n's cheek was flush against the leather seat covers. In the darkness of the night. His shorts were thown away somewhere in the process, windows fogged up, the air conditioner's cool wind sending chills down Y/n bottom and thighs.

Mingi thrust his fingers in Y/n's hole scissoring him in an attempt to loosen up. Y/n's legs found their way to Mingi's shoulders, resting on them as Mingi held onto Y/n's thighs for dear life, imprinting the cool metal designs of Mingi's rings into the shorter's inner thighs. "Fuck, y/n, you're so tight~" He cooed, loving the whimpers that spilled out of the other's mouth. He didn't even bother taking off the other's pants, or his own, even. Mingi was impaitent to get to the good part immediately, simply choosing to unzip his zipper.

He trailed kisses down your neck - hot, open-mouthed kisses, leaving bites and marks across your collarbone and neck, nuzzling his hot face against the crook of your neck. "So responsive..." he groaned. "f I knew you made all those slutty sounds I would've wrecked you long ago..."

His words sent shivers down your spine. You didn't even have time to recollect yourself when Mingi pulled his fingers out, giving you a maximum of 5 seconds to relaxation before he forced his length into you. It wasn't the most girthy dick, but god, was it long and strong. You felt every individual vein, pumping up hard and fast into his erection. Mingi practically shreiked when you clenched around his lenght, hard and tight.

"God damn, so eager to get railed. I might just top more often." Mingi groaned, his voice hoarse and deep. He experimentally began thrusting in and out at a slow and then fast pace. His inconsistency drove you insane: He was trying you out, trying to see what got the best reaction from you.

That's when it happened: His dick slammed into your prostate, targetting a sensetive bundle of nerves. You twitched so hard you were surprised you didn't just cum right then and there. Mingi noticed your blissed-out expression and loud moan. He smirked. "You like that, pretty boy? Ya like when I slam into you like that?" You nodded desperately.

"Lemme do it again, then." A wicked smile adorned his face. And he did. Over and over, slamming down on your sweet spot. Estcasy claimed over you so many times as your velvet walls clamped down on his member. Both of you groaned in unison. Being on the edge of pleasure was so blaringly good that you didn't even realize when you tipped over, letting out velvet white ropes of your substance, coating Mingi and yourself.

"Cum for me, boy~" Mingi cooed, as he too, filled you with his load, blissfully rolling his eyes back as he bit his lip, riding out his high. His substance inside you was an intoxicating feeling. You never wanted it to end.

Mingi rested his forehead against yours, panting. "Let's continue this in the hotel." He smirked, and you nodded.

It was going to be a long night.

#kpop x male reader #ateez x male reader #mingi x male reader #bttm male readet #dom idol #mlm #gay #kpop male reader #mingi #ateez #ateez hard hours #mingi hard hours #mingi smut #mingi x reader #you x mingi #💌 niko yapping

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starrygazers · 5 months ago

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in my streamer era?!

aka: modern au streamer characters and their life with you.

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ felt like writing smth more lighthearted (once again procrastinating on my homework)

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ tags : modern au, fluff, crack

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ featuring : Mydei, Phainon

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Phainon ➤ vlogs, irl streams

Phainon loves traveling and talking to people, which makes him the perfect irl streamer. he has a large following due to the fact that he's so polite and friendly to everyone, but somehow his streams always go wrong in the funniest, murphy's-law-esque way

he's streaming in a restaurant and reviewing the food and the next moment a waiter trips and spills a water jug right to his camera and lowers the video quality for the rest of the stream

or he'd be doing a grocery run and the things that he wants are all gone, and he has to ride the bus to the grocery store that's further away, and the bus would blow a tire in the middle of the highway so now he's hungry and stranded with no groceries

these somewhat harmless, silly and unexpected situation keeps his viewers entertained, and the fact that he's always so optimistic about it has viewers donating to his streams to cheer him up whenever something goes wrong

his mods are so protective of him that if anyone starts trolling they'd be banned in an instant

when he first met you, it was by chance, and you don't recognize him (he's a niche even on streaming sites; his fans gatekeep him because they don't want people trolling this nice boy)

he falls in love with you immediately, and it's so obvious by the way he talks about you on stream.

"chat, there's this person," he lays the camera down on the counter and starts unloading his groceries. "and they're so... like... I don't know how to say it. they're so pretty, but also so scary to talk to, but it's not because they're mean or anything, I think it's a me problem. do you guys ever feel like that about someone?"

of course, his chat teases him relentlessly about his newfound crush

once he finally has the guts to ask you out (someone sent him a super donation telling him to, and he feels bad not doing it), you say yes, and he's over the moon.

he introduces you to his chat, and even though you're a bit confused and new to all of this, your personality balances out with Phainon's so well that his community can't help but love you

he doesn't film all your dates; in fact, he rarely ever does. whenever you're on stream, it's because you're both spending time chilling or cooking or doing grocery runs together. he likes to keep a small portion of his life private, and he doesn't want you to feel like you're a tool for his moneymaking scheme.

overall, he's such a nice understanding boyfriend, and if having a camera around you is too much then he'll respect your space and schedule his streams around days that he'll spend alone so he can have you all to himself without any distractions.

Mydei ➤ fighting games, tourneys

you can't convince me this man isn't some sort of fighting game god, particularly tekken, mortal kombat, smash, or something in the likes

he'll spend hours just 1v1-ing randoms on the internet, and he's got his friend code public for anyone who wants to try to challenge him.

this obviously brings a lot of traction because there are a lot of tryhards who want to test if Mydei's the real deal (he is, and he does so while talking shit and not breaking a sweat)

fans enjoy his straightforward, no-bullshit commentary (roasts) while he destroys players with a straight face. it's almost comedic how such a stoic man could have such a petty personality, and chat always teases him for it, but he could not care less (whatever brings in the bag)

"Get out of here if you can't even jablock, man. All that big talk for you to not even take a stock from me is just embarrassing," he spits out. "You're so mean, he's trying his best, yeah, sure, chat. He should try his best recovering from the sauce I'm about to do to him."

he'll sometimes do irl streams when he's in tournaments. he'll do a hotel tour (begrudgingly, because he keeps getting donations forcing him to do it)

he's by no means funny because he tries to be. people just find his mean commentary and resting bitch face amusing, and he's also good looking, so he has a lot of fangirls

he's been in a relationship with you since before he started streaming. matter of fact, you were the one who suggested streaming (because if he's going to spend that many hours on something might as well try to make money from it)

you often walk in on him while he's in his man cave, and you'll stay a bit to chat with him or interact with the chat

if his fangirls are mean to you, they get banned immediately ("MODS!!!! GET THEM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!")

he's very proud to call himself your boyfriend. Whenever someone tries to flirt with you in chat, he'll have a quip comeback of some sort about how they can try but you're in a very healthy, very secure relationship

he is unfortunately the type of streamer to have lots of tiktok edits to chase atlantic songs (iykyk)

but he'll only repost his fan edits shipping him and you <3

definitely the type of guy to wear an ugly "I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND" t-shirt out in public, he's just a nerd like that.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

if you liked this, consider buying me a ko-fi! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

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mandatory-ftmbreeder · 8 months ago

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24 year old ftm guy recently awakened to my dominant side. This side blog will focus on ftms, sometimes cis guys, and very rarely girls. If you're under 18, block me and fuck off.

About me:

I've been on T for 5 years. For the sake of this blog, sometimes I'll be acting as though I have a cis guy body (ie no tits and functioning dick capable of knocking someone up) cuz its more fun for me that way.

I'm 24, homoflexible, and I have a (cis) boyfriend irl. He knows abt this acc and we have a sexually open relationship.

everything here is just a kink, not reality or what i actually believe.

my submissive/main blog is here

i have adhd so sometimes i might bounce around or ramble a lot on here about random shit when I'm in the mood

Outside of kink i love video games, anime, art, cooking, being silly, and yapping

dw about offending me or being weird. I'm a little freak and its really hard to make me genuinely uncomfortable so go nuts

KINKS AND MORE BELOW

kinks: breeding and impregnation, humiliation, degradation, cnc, corruption, saying shit like 'you have a pussy so you were designed to get fucked and impregnated', unnecessarily detailed scenarios, intoxication (specifically weed), medical play, exhibitionism/voyeurism/nudism,

Exploring: overstimulation, urethral penetration

meh: anal (receiving), age play (depends on how its done), breast growth/expansion, watersports,

hard limits: anal (giving), underage, scat, gore, vore, feet, injuries beyond moderate bruising and biting, drugs harder than weed.

???: misgendering/detrans- i kindaaa like it being done to me, but I don't know if I really want to do it to others, so I'll be avoiding it on this blog for now.

Feel free to message me. Be aware that you can and should tell me if you're ever uncomfortable, want to change the subject/kink, or w/e else. Kink should be a fun escape from reality and not another stressful thing to worry about!!!

I've been getting a WILDLY unanticipated amount of interaction on this blog so i get a ton of messages and anons. Apologies if I don't respond- its not personal i promise, I'm just physically unable to get to everything at this point, and I'm also chronically terrible at responding to things in general lol.

Side note: I am open to irl meetups if any of you are ever in Orlando. Feel free to message me if you're curious!

#conceptionacception

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a-corndog-named-schibbs · 6 months ago

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Headcanon that Lasat food in the Star Wars universe has kinda the same reputation as British or German food irl. At its best, it’s simple and homey, made to fill you up and get you through the Lean Times without being fussy about flavor. Unfortunately this means it also has a reputation for being really bland and kinda nasty, so whenever it’s Zeb’s turn to cook on the Ghost, his food gets…mixed reviews.

Kanan and Ezra don’t mind it. Kanan spent a good portion of his life surviving on pub grub, which is essentially what Lasat cuisine is in spirit and Ezra was homeless for too long to ever turn down a free meal, especially if it makes him feel full too.

Hera and Sabine cannot fucking stand Zeb’s cooking. Sabine comes from a culture whose dishes are known to smack you in the face with spice and Hera grew up a) rich and b) French, so some of the dishes that Zeb makes seem like they should be considered a war crime from her perspective. They both love Zeb far more than they hate his cooking, so neither will ever say anything, but whenever it’s Zeb’s turn to cook, Hera takes the opportunity to practice her sabaac face and Sabine drowns her plate in hot sauce the second Zeb’s not looking.

The only person who completely, unironically loves Zeb’s cooking is Kallus, fittingly enough. He spent most of his adult life eating nothing but ration bars, so most normal foods are too rich for him. Zeb’s cooking gives him the comfort of homemade meals without being totally overwhelming for him flavor-wise. The crew is wary about having him join them, until they all realize they can just give their leftovers to him whenever Zeb cooks, and then he’s suddenly the most popular man on the Ghost.

#in fairness i don't think zeb is a BAD cook #he doesn't burn the kitchen down or anything he's just never met a flavor that didn't come from salt sugar or fat #star wars #star wars rebels #garazeb orrelios #kalluzeb #my posts

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luigilore · 3 months ago

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lovefool- l.m

info: luigi mangione x (fem) reader, NSFW, toxic ex situationship, reader is a ballerina, 5.6k wc

(a/n: this is entirely, entirely fiction! nothing i write reflects anyone irl. this should be obvious but i want to make that explicitly clear. if this upsets you, please do not read! you can also block me!)

Today was a bad day. That’s your excuse.

You were harshly critiqued during a private practice with your ballet master; tired and nervous and falling out of your turns that you know you should be executing perfectly. The upcoming performance of Coppélia is your first role in the main cast after five years with the company– after years of competing with the other dancers to get ahead. It’s your first chance to truly impress and cement yourself as an integral and regular part of the cast; so you stay too late at the studio, continuing to sacrifice after years of dedication, for a flickering chance of success that was never quite guaranteed.

You hate thinking, hate admitting that the added rehearsals and endless criticism was getting to you. It was unnerving knowing your teachers were watching to see if you could deliver the perfection that was undoubtedly expected of you. You're trying, but lately, for the first time in a very long time, you’re not sure if you can truly handle the pressure.

Your calf hurts, it’s constantly throbbing and hot, and you’ve already spent too much time with the physical therapy team this week. Your feet are blistered and hurting– even more than usual, and you’re sick of the almost daily ice baths and the uncomfortable compression sleeves you have to wear to bed.

Every night you dream of being on stage, in front of a full crowd and the hot, blinding lights. You dream of faltering, of forgetting choreography as a pressure in your chest builds and you wake up suddenly; sweaty, scared, and alone. It only motivates you to stay longer at the studio, falling into the routine of neglecting everything except dance, of neglecting yourself and your friends, trying not to think about all of the accumulated unanswered texts.

It’s past ten by the time you leave the studio tonight, pouring rain and you realize he forgot an umbrella. You are tired, hungry, and admittedly, unashamedly, want Luigi. You want Luigi’s nice, warm apartment, his strong arms and sweet words, and the hot food he would make, always insisting you eat after practice.

When you were dating, you always felt like Luigi was almost too good to you. He would come to your shows with ridiculously big bouquets of flowers and deep kisses that would always embarrass you, trying to pin you against the wall of the empty dressing room just because he could. Luigi was devoted and intentional and kind; aware and always touching you, smiling at you, hugging you, fucking you. He would always ask you to stay afterward too, would always let you roll around in his big king-sized bed.

Luigi was good for you in a lot of ways; he would massage your legs and arms when you were sore and he would cook for you after you came back from a long four-hour rehearsal; when usually before you would just eat half of a protein bar and crawl into bed. He would whisper constant reassurances and praise because Luigi knew ballet has always been important to you and self criticism has always been too easy for you.

Ballet has always been the center of your life. You had spent your entire childhood working towards a future career in dance; worked hard for years, for so long, for hours every day in practice rooms, in competitions; sacrificing so much. All for ballet.

For a long time, New York City Ballet seemed like a ridiculous pipe dream with a slim chance of becoming reality. You stayed in crowded and uncomfortable New York apartments for two years before you were offered an apprenticeship and then finally became a part of the corps de ballet two years ago.

You yourself orbit around your career in ballet; your only friends are fellow dancers in the company and you're at the studio almost everyday. You have class six days a week and rehearsals on top of that for the seasonal ballet that’s performed four times a week.

In ballet, in that perfect and beautiful world, you have so much. You have accomplished a lot for your age, even if you didn’t like to acknowledge your impressive list of achievements and talents. You are dancing for one of the most prestigious companies in the world and have been praised by your ballet master, by your peers, and teachers for your talent and dedication.

In ballet, you are seasoned and you are assured and strong. You know who you are on stage and who you are meant to be. But outside of ballet, in the other, crueler world that you don't understand, you aren’t totally sure who you are, what or who you were for.

In real life, off stage, when you left the studio after practice, you really didn’t feel that strong. Sometimes you don’t feel that strong at all. And a lot of the time, You just want to love.

You want to love and trust like the cheesy dramas you watched with your grandmother as a child. The dramas with the woman that always got the strong and sweet man at the end, after all of the pain and pining, eventually the world would solve itself and it would always end in easy and simple love.

You have always wanted to be in love. Through ballet, You learned how to feel and express love, romance, and a range of emotions, and portray all of them silently. Because of that, because of the love you have for ballet and because of the love you routinely express, you have always thought that you would be good at loving someone else.

You wanted it so badly, so much that it hurt; so much that you would lie awake at night in your small twin bed, against your scratchy, cheap sheets and would imagine stronger arms around you so you could finally relax and trust. You just wanted the warmth of someone else. It always got so cold– alone in your room, in your shitty apartment where you couldn't afford heat. Where you stayed before you woke up and went back to ballet, to your world.

Luigi was immediately easy to love because Luigi was made to love. You met him through his college friend, another dancer. Luigi came to a matinee when both she and you were performing. Afterwards, she proudly introduced Luigi to you and his eyes stared into your own, bright and kind. He smiled widely and shook your hand. When you first met Luigi, you immediately wanted to love him. You just knew it would be so easy.

When Luigi asked you out only a few days later, showing up with the guise of picking her up from rehearsal; he was shy, like he had never done this before. You liked that, you wanted to be the only one Luigi could even consider loving. He took you to a fancy restaurant that week, one that you had never been to, and from then on, it was too easy.

“It’s because Luigi is loaded,” your friend had said once– and that wasn’t true. Luigi was comfortable but that wasn’t why you loved him. Luigi was everything you thought you would never really have because it was too good, it was almost too much love.

Luigi would massage your aching legs and shoulders and praise you quietly, with small smiles and gentle reassurances. Because without you confiding in him, he knew what you needed and he wanted you to feel loved, to feel like you deserved to be loved. You were so used to critique, to being judged in all aspects of your life. It was nice and you chased it and Luigi loved giving it.

It was barely a year of being together before you excitedly moved into his apartment; it was an easy decision to leave your apartment with four other people that was always cramped and dramatic.

Luigi told you that you made him believe in love. You felt like that too, when you really thought about it. You liked being called pretty, liked being taken care of sometimes, of being held like you were precious. You didn't need it, but you liked it. You liked how Luigi fucked you slowly, how he would suck deep dark marks into your chest, and hold your head carefully to fuck his cock into your mouth, before pulling out and having you gasping for breath.

But you eventually realized loving was hard sometimes. It was time-consuming. It was encompassing and overwhelming. Sometimes it would be all you could think about, you would fall out of turns because you were thinking of the ghosting movements of Luigi’s arms and hands. It was all explosive and made you feel out of control and out of reach from reality. You could never decide if you loved it or absolutely hated it. Because you would be bubbling over with emotion, with needs and love that Luigi induced; coaxing it out of you so carefully. But then he would always eventually pull away— shut down and retreat, and it felt devastating.

It was intense. It was huge fights and then tearful, passionate making up, unfulfilled promises, and silent days when he would shut you out and then there were overwhelming, beautiful ones. Luigi told you it was hard for him, that he was trying really hard and you always felt guilty for coming home so late, for being too tired for the dates he wanted so badly to go on.

Luigi was just possessive and determined, stubborn and passive. But he made you feel safe, like you could afford to miss practice because he felt more important than ballet and that terrified you– the thought that anything could ever come before ballet. You didn’t think that love should be scary.

It was like you forgot how to live without Luigi. You truly couldn’t remember what New York was like without him. Sometimes you didn’t have time for much else, not even ballet. You didn’t love dancing like you used to, you loved him, loved the idea of freedom instead of being in love with something that was so taxing and draining. Sometimes you couldn’t believe how backwards your entire life had been before meeting him.

But when your ballet master pulled you aside one day and told you looked sloppy and distracted and that you needed to get it together or else there was a chance you would be out of the winter performance of the Nutcracker, You broke up with Luigi that night.

He only looked confused and asked if ballet meant more to you than he did. And in a mix of confusion and pure adrenaline, you obviously said yes.

Luigi just stared at you, he didn’t look upset. Just empty. “You know I love you,” he said, voice flat and eyes looking at you with such silent intensity, eyes so harsh that you were almost intimidated.

“I do,” He said, saying it so easily and it hurt for some awful reason. Luigi stared at you like he couldn’t possibly understand why you felt paralyzed and powerless.

“I do,” he repeated coldly and then Luigi left his own apartment without looking back at you.

It felt too sudden and easy and you selfishly and wrongly wanted Luigi to stay; to fight, to convince you, to do anything but actually leave.

The next few days, you moved out of his apartment, quickly shoving your things in boxes while Luigi watched silently.

But breaking up didn’t really help at all. It didn’t help that consuming love and persistent ache you felt. It was harder. Harder to concentrate during practice, harder to sleep, harder to make your own decisions, and hard to stop yourself from instinctively texting or calling Luigi.

You really try but Luigi is hard to resist. He would text you, saying he was sorry and asking you to come over and you would be at his door in thirty minutes. You would block his number in fit of determination to move on and then he would email you that he loved you and that he wanted things to go back to the way things were. He was sorry for loving you, for loving him too much. Luigi said sorry for whatever he did wrong, for getting in the way and that real and true love sometimes does that– but that he still understands. He was always so sorry.

You’re sorry too. And bored. You miss Luigi so much. You last thirteen days after the breakup before you’re at his apartment and your roommate checks his location and sends you a knowing ‘:(‘ while you were busy getting fucked against his stupidly nice granite kitchen countertop.

You still try really hard to move on but you feel lost like you were now wondering about some impossibly changed world. It had been almost two years with Luigi now dramatically, you didn’t know how to go about not having him. You can only think of his good traits and you start to wonder why you even broke up with him; spiraling and laying on your bed with your calf hurting wishing he was there. Wishing it was easy. Thinking that it could be easy again.

So you text him. And he responds immediately— like it always is.

Hi baby

are you busy rn?

Waiting for Luigi to respond should give you time to think through this. To stop. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. You should be– used to be, better than this. Luigi was bad for you. Because it was too consuming, it was too much good.

When he responds, You can’t help but smile. You hate the way you smile instinctively, you hate the way you love Luigi in such a consuming and uncomfortable way.

I’m free for you.

Always.

Without him, you might be more productive, more efficient, and less emotional but there was a hole missing carved out and splintering in your heart. It felt stupid and poetic and dramatic, but without him, you just didn’t feel the same. Luigi was love and everything you wanted. It’s just complicated. It’s just sweet kisses, warm bodies, and the sweetest words.

You still know the code to his apartment complex, Luigi never changed it. As you knock now, you manage to feel a little ashamed.

He opens the door in a black shirt and gray sweatpants, hidden away from people who worked long days and nights, from the ballet studio where your limbs ached and where you were never good enough.

It was just Luigi and his soft clothes and sweet-smelling fabric softener. You still love him so much that it hurts; you love that Luigi loves you, loves that he thinks you’re enough— more than enough. You like how secure you feel, and all the nice things Luigi says, and how pretty his life seems. You want a pretty life too, want beauty— and he is really beautiful.

“Hi,” You say quietly, toying with the hem of your sweatshirt.

“Hello,” Luigi says with a small, knowing, but sweet smile, crossing his arms. “Why are you here,” he asks, like you’re a complete stranger.

You look down at the floor as you finally make yourself look into Luigi’s eyes, patient and waiting. “Don't make me say it,” you murmur, a quiet plea.

Luigi leans against the door frame and purses his lips together and frowns, like you’re just not understanding each other, like you just don't get it.

“I want you to, though. I want to hear you say it.” Luigi stands up straighter and looks at you directly, voice serious and almost cold, “I need to hear you say it.”

You shift and bite your lip; it was just one of his things. One of those things to feel in control, to feel like you needed him more. Because Luigi would always get caught up in these little things. It doesn’t mean anything.

You look up at Luigi through his lashes and press your lips together in an obvious, exaggerated, stupid expression. “I missed you. I missed you a lot, Lu.”

Luigi’s expression softens immediately like it always does. “Oh baby,” He murmurs, “Baby, baby.”

He draws you into his arms gently, like you’re incredibly fragile and breakable and you think you might be. You shouldn’t like that, shouldn’t like being treated like you were so breakable and wounded but you liked it sometimes, very secretly. Maybe too much.

“C’mere,” Luigi murmurs, leading you to the sofa. He runs a hand over your face carefully and he smells like his stupid expensive cologne that you still can’t totally wash out of your own clothes. “Bad day?” He asks quietly even though it’s incredibly obvious that it is.

“Yeah,” You say with a rush of sudden self awareness and shame. “I probably shouldn’t–” You look down at his fingers twisted in your lap. “I shouldn't be here.”

Luigi comically frowns at that and knits his eyebrows like he doesn’t understand, “Why not?”

You look up at him and try to look exasperated but you just sound tired and sad. “Because we’re not together.”

He looks at you like he doesn’t like you stating the obvious. He just tilts his head and smiles, obvious and kind of patronizing, hand coming to rub across your thigh. Warm and heavy. Because you go through this every time, you pretend or try to not want this and Luigi just smiles and sees right through it.

“I still support you though, you know that.” He says, still with a smile.

“Yeah,” you sniff and don't try to say anything else.

“Yeah,” Luigi agrees softly and it makes you smile, staring down at your own lap. His hand comes to cup your cheek, hand fitting perfectly holding your jaw, thumbing across your cheekbone carefully, it feels familiar and warm and comforting.

“I just want to help you,” Luigi whispers. You aren't sure if you believe him but you want to so incredibly badly. You don't want help. You don't need help. But sometimes it’s nice to pretend.

You look at Luigi, his pretty dark hair and long lashes. His sweet eyes that watch you carefully. It’s silent for a few moments, comfortable and familiar. In Luigi’s big and warm apartment.

“Can I take care of you,” Luigi finally asks, looking at you patiently, sweet and quiet, and you nod quickly.

“Yeah,” you whisper like it’s a secret- he makes you feel like nothing else matters except the two of you. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t together, that you could never truly work. Nothing matters at all.

Luigi tugs you into his lap easily and his arms loop around you, warm and big. His hand cups your jaw and pulls you closer, tilting his own head to kiss your lips, soft and slow and bothered because he always has time. His hand fits in the curve of your waist and the other thumbs over your ear gently and it makes you shudder. His tongue in your mouth feels hot and heavy, barely pulling away to let you breathe but you still let your eyes shut and try to relax, trying to melt into his touch.

It’s easy, Luigi smells like his usual Tom Ford cologne and you feel surrounded by it. His hand on your back thumbs over your skin under your shirt gently when he pulls away to look at you, face still so close to your own.

“Do you want to,” he trails off and waits because he knows what you will say. Because you only want him, still. Even when he said he slept with other people, even when he went out of his way to tell you that. When he knew it hurt your feelings, when he knew your friends hated him. Luigi never cared, but he did care about you.

It’s easy to nod. It’s easy to say yes and end up in his big bed with his nice sheets; comfortable and soft, on top of some ridiculously expensive therapeutic mattress.

Luigi rolls on top of you, pushing his thigh against your sweatpants, surrounded totally by him as he braces his arms on each side of you, trapping you in a beautiful and comforting way. Your hand reaches up, running his fingers carefully through Luigi’s curls for some sense of stability.

Your head is spinning and you feel desperate to belong to Luigi again. You lean up, rocking your hips and lick in Luigi’s mouth, sloppy and eager as he groans from your movement.

You whine softly when he pulls away, still so close to his face, smiling and looking at you like you’re beautiful; you can feel it without him saying anything. He never has to say anything.

Luigi rolls off of you, stripping off his hoodie and it feels unfair. After you broke up, he only started going to the gym more than he used to, using it as stress relief and enjoying the way he knew it drove you crazy. His shoulders are broad, muscular, defined and skin still soft and smooth; in just his boxers now, his broad shoulders, large biceps, and toned back. You feel almost sick with a horribly familiar and comforting love.

Your hand runs down Luigi’s chest, trailing down his pec. He looks down, watching your fingers graze his tanned skin before grabbing your hand to pull him closer and back onto his lips.

Luigi’s hand slides from your waist to tug at the waistband of your sweatpants, watching you carefully, like he’s waiting for you to realize that this is wrong; that this only makes it harder, that you shouldn’t be doing this.

But you don't say anything as you pull them off of you, revealing your cotton underwear that you know Luigi likes. You sit up slightly so it’s easier for him but you grimace at the sudden pain in your left leg. Luigi stops when he sees your discomfort. “What, baby?”

“I’m just— I’m sore,” You mumble, blinking as Luigi frowns almost comically wide.

“Is it your calf again? I told you you need a second opinion besides the company PT. They’re bullshit.” He nags, reminding you of all the nights he would run a bath for you and insist you soak in the tub with his luxury bath salts after rehearsal. You smile at the memory and at Luigi’s furrowed brows.

“I’m working on it,” You say and he looks unconvinced, like he’s about to lovingly lecture you but you don't want to think about your calf pain now— or about ballet at all.

You instead lean up, hand resting on Luigi’s back and pull him down. He obliges easily and leans back over you, careful to prop himself up with one of his forearms, the other slides down your thigh, massaging and kneading the skin carefully.

He continues silently, looking at you intently like just your presence is enough. You love feeling like enough. “I just love you so much, baby,” He murmurs, “Dunno what to do about it.” He nudges your nose with his own and kisses you gently as you circle your arms around his shoulders.

“Just love me,” You whisper when you part, immediately hating how vulnerable you sound.

“Okay,” Luigi smiles easilyand kisses you again, tongue hot and wet in your mouth, sucking and licking. He only pulls away to kiss your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin as evidence of the two of you, as a sad noise escapes from the back of your throat at the loss of his touch and warmth. He always loved proof of the night before on you, of marks you know you’ll have to put concealer over the next day.

Your sweater comes off easily and Luigi coos, wrapping his arms around you, warm hands roaming over your body; one hand holding your waist and the other undoing your bra easily, both of his large hands coming to grope your tits. It feels nice, the attention, the want. “God,” he mumbles, almost to himself, staring at your body. But you never feel exposed under Luigi’s wandering gaze, it feels too loving and too real.

“Hurry,” You jut out your bottom lip and Luigi laughs.

“So cute,” He presses a soft kiss to your lips. “Patience, baby.”

He tugs your underwear off easily and you’re flooded with a sudden rush of excitement and familiarity. You wish that you could exist in this moment forever, when you don’t have to worry about anything else, when you can just exist because he thinks you’re perfect the way you are. You aren't sure if you deserve that but you want it forever.

He spreads your thighs gently, bringing you back to your present reality and watching your reactions, his long, warm fingers rubbing your inner thigh soothingly. He inserts one finger inside of you first carefully and you sigh, reminding once again how much you’ve missed this, him. You grip his bicep as one finger rubs at your clit and others curl inside of you. You feel a bit dazed, letting your body just feel. Luigi is always so concentrated, lip bit and eyes dark, focusing on his rehearsed routine; his firm body pressed so closely against your own, surrounding and encompassing.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, maybe more to himself and it makes you feel shy. “Luigi,” you laugh but it turns into a sound of surprise when you feel his cock rub against your entrance, wet and heavy.

He glances down at you and is obviously affected as he lines himself up and finally pushes in wordlessly, no particular warning and no condom, like always. You like that it still feels the same between you two, like nothing ever changed. You gasp; even though you’ve taken him so many times, Luigi is big and it’s always an adjustment, but a good one.

Luigi sighs like it’s something he’s addicted to, like it’s something he desperately needs. It’s unfair really. You love the way he looks, his hair has gotten longer even if the couple of weeks you had successfully refined from contacting him and he doesn’t shave as often now either, ever since you broke up. You love his parted lips, his obvious pleasure because of you.

“Made to take me, made for me,” he mutters as you feel yourself nodding, he thrusts in an easy rhythm, gentle and slow. Luigi is never rough with you. “Let me know how good I make you feel,” he mutters, looking down at you, one hand coming to intertwine with one of your own.

“Lu, it feels, you feel, so good,” you say, looking up at Luigi through your lashes. But he’s quiet and you hate it.

“Say anything, please Luigi, please.” You look up at him with a horse whisper, “Please.”

“I love you,” He looks down at you and you know that he means it, he always has. Any internal anxiety that built up inside of you dispates and is replaced by something so good, something you always feels when he fucks you, when he’s is close to you, when he’s holding you firmly and carefully; when he is totally devoted to and concentrated on you. You love how much Luigi loves you.

“It’s only you,” you say, like it's a secret but it’s really not, not to either of you. You say it because you know what it does to him. You watch Luigi's lips part slightly in realization before they curl up into a big grin.

“Always?” He asks and you hesitate but you can’t say no, because when you think about it, it might be true.

“Maybe,” you smile but when you really think about it, Luigi is right. He smiles too, knowingly, like he knows he’s right too.

Moments like this make you wonder why you ever broke up with him. Luigi is the only one that you let fuck you and you come over regularly and you still love each other. You feel like you don't understand anything at all.

You groan as Luigi thrusts faster and one of his hands comes to palm at your tits, thumbing across one of your nipples and making you squirm under his touch. The sensation makes you arch your back in sensitivity, only further into him.

Luigi stares down at you like he’s done something beautiful and you subconsciously clench at the pleasure. “Fuck,” he grunts, forehead shining with sweat and abs tightening as he fucks in and out of you, the other hand’s grip tightening on your waist.

“You’re still mine aren’t you,” he asks, thrusting roughly and you know his body enough to know that he’s close to coming from the way his eyes flutter shut and his cock throbs inside of you.

You open his mouth to answer but Luigi takes his hand and instead presses two of his fingers into your mouth. You gargle around them, spit immediately running out— you feel so safe and loved. You will say anything when Luigi asks like that, with that much conviction, when you’re this far gone.

“Yes,” you breathe out when Luigi eventually removes his fingers. “Yes,” you repeat, reaching up to grab at his chest, tight and firm from years of exercise. You can feel his quickened heartbeat underneath your palm and you love that you’re the one making him feel good; it’s only you. It’s only each other.

Luigi laughs, folding himself over your body to press his face close to yours, angling his hips in a way that he knows drives you crazy, making you squeeze your eyes shut in pleasure“So cute and beautiful. So sweet,” he softly whispers into your ear.

“And so strong,” Luigi continues and you like hearing that. You want to be strong so badly. You have always wanted to be strong. “My baby, You deserve everything,” he continues, “You deserve everything in the entire world.”

You think about the upcoming audition and the role you desperately want, the critiques he got from his last performance.

“Everything?” You whisper and his hand comes to wipe at a small tear threatening to spill down your cheek that you didn’t realize was there.

Luigi looks at you with such sweet eyes and smiles like he’s endeared, “Of course.” The praise makes you feel loved, as he thrusts deeper and faster into you. He’s usually so controlled and precise with his movements and you notice he’s a bit desperate now, groaning unashamedly. It all makes you feel full and content and overwhelmed as you’re pushed over the edge.

Your orgasm, the way you clench around him and throw your head back in pleasure all push Luigi over the edge, hands coming to grip your hips harshly as he holds you and fucks you, mouth open trying to remain in control when he’s obviously floundering, overwhelmed by you. You can see Luigi’s pleasure through your blurry vision.

“Baby I’m going to, fuck—” Luigi groans, eyes squeezing shut and jaw clenching as he comes.

You sniff and bite your lip when you feel his cum fill you.”Fuck,” You mutter, throwing your head back against the silk pillowcase. You stare up at Luigi, watching his chest rise up and down rapidly.

“Baby, you’re so cute, always make me feel so good,” he whispers tenderly.

“Don’t pull out, just, just—” You can barely talk, so overwhelmed and sensitive, “Stay.”

Luigi nods, bending over to press a kiss against your ear. “Of course.”

You smile weakly, trying not to feel gross at the cum that you can already feel beginning to leak out of you.

You feel exhausted and depleted, drained and satisfied. Luigi is all around you, thick arms moving to eventually hold you, laying over you but not crushing you, only pressing your bare bodies against each other. You don’t say much after and you eventually fall asleep to Luigi’s humming and his gentle massaging of your left calf.

You wake up feeling sore and exhausted, hit with the immediate realization that you have an eight am rehearsal today and it’s already 6:43 am. You roll out of Luigi’s arms carefully and silently, digging around for your discarded clothes and phone.

Luigi wakes up at some point, sitting up in bed with his messy hair and rubbing his bleary eyes. He watches you with a pronounced frown, “You’re not going to stay?”

“I have rehearsal,” You say simply, preoccupied. You’re quiet for the next few minutes and Luigi is too, content with just watching you move around his room. But you’re already hit with the stress of getting dressed, catching the train, and rushing to practice to avoid being called out for being late, and the general dread of the long day of practice.

“I do love you, baby, I wish you would believe that,” Luigi says suddenly, looking at you.

“I do believe you,” You whisper, tired and hurting.

It’s silent, Luigi almost looks small and susceptible in bed, sheets pooled around his toned and tan waist. Messy hair and sad eyes that stare at you. He tilts his head slightly, “You’ll text though right?”

You don't want to have this conversation now, maybe never. Especially afterwards, the day after, because it all seems pointless now, repeating the same things you both always say– that don’t mean much anymore. You just want to leave and go to rehearsal, and dance for hours until your legs feel numb and the exhaustion overrides any sense of want.

You just smile weakly, “Probably.”

#luigi mangione x reader #luigi thoughts #luigi mangione fanfic #luigi mangione smut #luigi mangione imagine #i hope you guys like it :'))

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moonlight-records · 1 year ago

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slip (stream) into my heart | CL16 (sm au!)

pairing: charles leclerc x streamer!reader

summary: a certain ferrari driver has taken a liking to a certain streamer and sees his chance to finally start chatting with them

warnings: fluff!

fc: none

a/n: an apology for disappearing! life got hectic but im back! im gonna start cranking writings out! this is my first attempt at a smau via instagram, a bit short! texts and twitter coming in part 2

edit: yeah changed the title very slightly NOBODY PANIC

current stream | future stream

yourusername

liked by yourbffusername and 2,539 others

yoursername twitchcon you'll always be famous to me. thank you to everyone who pulled up to the meet and greet! you guys are so sweet 🥹 i have a lot of decorating to do

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user29 IM SO UPSET I DIDN'T GET TO GO NOOOOO

user4 it was such an honor meeting you!!

user30 literally such a sweetie irl! also your panel was so fun and thank you for the tips to baby streamers!

yourusername of course! im glad you had a great time!

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbffusername, and 1,305 more

yourusername being a ferrari fan is NOT for the weak 🙅‍♀️ this weekend been stressin me out rn 😔 everyone manifest a charles podium with me 🙏

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user5 THEY'RE A FERRARI FAN SEND ALL THE PRAYERS

user30 god gives his toughest battles to his silliest gremlins fr yourusername liked this comment user5 FR user10 manifesting ferrari cooks this race

user29 i dont know anything but the circle will be started STAT

user23 YOU HEARD THE GREMLIN, PRAYER CIRCLE!

user43 PRAYER CIRCLE COMING RIGHT UP

yourusername posted on their stories

responses after the race

↳ charles_leclerc i didn't know you were such a fan of me it's a quite the honor

yourusername i am actually and i should be the one honored, you responded to me 🫣 charles_leclerc ma princesse, please you flatter me too much. hopefully i didn't disappoint you with only getting third yourusername you made it to the podium, so that's good enough for me 😘 charles_leclerc good 😊

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbffusername, and 1,000 others

yourusername movie night!

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user10 HOWL'S MOVIE CASTLE!!!

user14 next movie for movie night! please!!

charles_leclerc howl's moving castle is my favorite movie

yourusername oh? favorite character, go charles_leclerc howl, obviously yourusername well, sophie's my favorite...so 🫣 charles_leclerc oh?

user5 OH?

user30 WHAT'S THIS?

user24 who's this charles leclerc guy? 👀

yourusername 📍Monte Carlo, Monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 1,402 others

yourusername had to flex on the hoes before watching barbie 😤 reminder no stream this weekend but stay tuned for some goodies! 🤭

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user40 GET THEM HOES 💪💪

user30 MONTE CARLO MONACO???

user5 GREMLIN IS IN THE HEART OF CIRCUIT DE MONACO?! DURING MONACO GP?! user30 YEEEP user84 are they going to the monaco gp?! user30 OMG OMG OMG AND BOTH CHALRES AND ARTHUR LIKED THE POST!!!! user5 WORLD'S COLLIDING?! DO WE GATE KEEP? WE SHOULD GATE KEEP RIGHT!!!

charles_leclerc welcome to monaco!

yourusername thank you 😊 user5 OH MY GOOOOOD user30 WHAT IS HAPPENING?

yourusername 📍Monte Carlo, Monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 2,405 others

yourusername "money money money, must be funny, in a rich man's world" 💵🍾 monaco gp, im here ❤️

comments on this post have been turned off

#f1 imagine #moonlight releases #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #cl16 x reader #f1 smau #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #cl16 imagine #cl16 smau #charles leclerc smau #f1 instagram au

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sesmiq · 5 months ago

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happy birthday୨ৎ (drabble) ── .✦pairing: artist male y/n x childhood friend oc —warnings: this author have not written anything other than his uni essays for months ^^!, v rushed, not proof read, hyeon being a red flag lowk harhar, y/n developing stockholm syndrome, manipulative/yandere behavior (i do not condone irl!! all is fictional, please be safe.) —sequel ? to this! ; Lee Hyeon

7th November 2023, 11:32 PM The ticking of the clock annoyed y/n, each tick was too loud, or too sharp. Its as if it is mocking him, counting every minute of his misery. He could feel every tick like a small puncture to his already frayed nerves, his heartbeat syncing with its rhythm. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block it out, but the sound only grew louder, more suffocating. He sat on the bed, one of his legs shackled to the wall, while the other wrapped in bandages, a small reminder of what had happened the day he tried to escape from the mansion. He glanced at the clock on the wall, ..it was a few minutes before his birthday, Honestly, he doesn’t even know why he bothered to keep track of the dates,, but it should be more than half a year since he's been isolated from the world. y/n let out a bitter laugh, hyeon- his supposed savior, his childhood friend, also, his captor, had gone to a quote on quote business trip after he tried to flee the mansion again. Hyeon had been gone for days, maybe even a week.. his stomach suddenly twist from hunger, the.. food hyeon had left for him (a packet of cheap instant cup noodles that lasted about 3 days or so. though, no hot water was even given to cook it.) were long gone. He misses hyeon’s home cooking. But even as the emptiness clawed at him, there was something else—something darker. A sense of longing. For Hyeon. A strange attachment that twisted inside him like a knot in his chest.

He cares about me, Y/N thought, though he had no idea where this feeling came from. It was hard to fight when his mind was fogged by exhaustion, but somewhere deep down, he felt like the pull toward Hyeon was the only thing left.

Hyeon was there during his worst, he was there the time his parents kicked him out for wanting to pursue an artistic career. He was there to lend his shoulder when y/n was dumped during their college years. (guess what happened to the person dumping y/n lolol) When is he going to come home? Did hyeon finally get bored of him? What if he never comes back? Will y/n die by himself in this stupidly large mansion in the middle of nowhere? It terrified him. As if right one cue, y/n heard a faint footstep right outside the door. His heart skipped, is his mind playing with him? Is the lack of food finally catching up to him..? And then, the door creaked open. 7th November 2023, 11:56 PM Hyeon stepped inside the dark room, carrying a box of cake along with a few shopping bags.. He looked.. calm. yet, he didnt say anything but let out a small sigh when he saw y/n’s condition. He put the stuff away before kneeling down in front y/n, his eyes softening slightly. Hyeon’s hand reached up, gently brushing the other’s hair away from his face. “You’ve been so good.” he murmured, his voice like silk., his hand sliding to cup y/n’s cheek. y/n didnt pull away, instead he leaned into hyeon’s toucj, his eyes fluttering closed as the warmth of hyeon’s hand.. was comforting compared how cold the room is. He hated it. Hes not supposed to like his captor. Hyeon’s other hand came up, tilting Y/N’s chin upward to meet his gaze. The affection in his eyes was gone, replaced by something that made shivers run down his spine. “I’ll never leave you.” he whispered, smile was gentle, as if trying to reassure his beloved. “You won’t leave me, will you?” Y/N’s heart thudded painfully in his chest, too weak to protest, too desperate to care. Hyeon’s touch was the only thing that made him feel alive again,, 8th November 2023, 12:00 AM Hyeon leaned in, his lips pressing a soft kiss to Y/N’s forehead, a gentle gesture that felt almost like a promise. “Happy birthday, y/n.”

a/n: omg a ghost is talkimg,, haha. v rushed, (as u can see) been trying to write something since idk, august? but i dont think the school excuse is gon' work,,, in all honesty i had no motivation to write, like at all. i couldnt think of a single idea (hence this sequel),, though i have a bunch of draft with what i want to write thats not even 50% completed lol i hope i can post them in the future! forgive me for going MIA ^^ i hope you enjoyed this,, will probably edit this once i wake up (currently 2:34 am) goodbye ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა

#mayi'srants—#bottom male reader #male reader #oc x male reader #bttm male reader #mayi'swriting—#mayi'scharacter—#x male reader #sub male reader #male reader insert #yandere male x reader #soft yandere

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amxrany · 5 months ago

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!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Ok I didn't expect Ace's Dream to end up this way, so now I have to tell you guys about it too:

The gang lands in a beach and Cater's having fun with Silver's UM, even taking a video but needing music as an overlay because of Grim's screams 😭. It's quite hot and Sebek asks if we're in Ace's hometown, that's when Deuce replies that Ace lives near the capital of Queendom of Roses while he lives in the southern area.

We also learn more about Cater and Idia as we're exploring the area. Other than skateboarding, Cater also likes to surf and snowboard. Idia tries to talk smack but Ortho butts in by telling the group that he's just like Cater as he rode a vehicle called a "Barca" to race around Island of Woe (and apparently you need a broomstick license and a special vehicle license to handle one).

We reach a vacation house where we find Ace, who's happy to see Deuce, Cater, Yuu and Grim, but is surprised to see the others (Leona, Idia, Silver and Sebek)

We also see Riddle in this dream, who's all decked out in vacation wear (from the Stitch event) that even Cater's surprised. But Dream! Riddle simply wanted to dress the part and even pulled Cater aside for a bit to asked if he looked weird. Sebek thinks that there's no way Riddle would wear something like that irl and that's just Ace's personlaity showing while Silver doesn't see anything wrong as Riddle said this is what people on the beach.

Trey also shows up wearing the Silk City outfit. It turns out that Trey's clothes, the house, and island they're all currently in were lended to them by Kalim's family. Dream! Trey asks Cater why he's in his dorm uniform when he was wearing something different earlier while taking pictures. Cater plays along by saying that he didn't want to get them dirty while cooking, which Dream! Trey believed.

Ace asks us if we want to change our clothes because our dorm uniform looks really stuffy with the weather right now. Leona warns Yuu to not get carried away. We find out that Ace's dream is a celebration for Yuu...because they found a way back to their world. Riddle explains further that not only has Crowley found a way to return Yuu to their world, but he also found a way for Yuu to visit Twisted Wonderland anytime they want to. Stop I'm not okay it's the way that Ace's dream is just wanting people to continue on with their studies safely and Yuu gets to go back home and visit them anytime is just 😭💔

Dream! Riddle suggests that Deuce and the others should go change to more fitting clothes for this occasion. While Cater volunteers with Idia, Leona and Silver to help Trey with the cooking, but really he just uses it as an excuse to discuss what he has observed. He tells Leona about the plan to look out for Ace as Dream! Riddle and Dream! Trey are most likely darkness, and Leona's impressed with how fast he's catching up with the dream mechanics. Even Idia finds it a bit creepy.

But Cater's already used to making the first move to avoid conflict. His plan was to use the first years as they're the only ones who are closer to Ace, meaning that they have a better chance of cracking him while the others keep the NPCs distracted. While the seniors are helping the NPCs, the freshmen are trying to brew up a plan. Ortho brings up the clue having needing a big "shock" from reality, but Sebek said he's useless here since he only meets Ace in electives and let's the main gang handle it.

Deuce goes first, telling Ace that this is all just a dream created by Malleus and that they still haven't found a way for Yuu to go home. He also brings up that we still haven't contacted Mickey yet, Ace doesn't believe them but Deuce (with Grim this time) continue to push him further; this causes him (Ace) to start to disorient. Deuce tells Ace to calm down but he thinks they're just lying but Ortho vouches for them and tells him that they're not. It even goes to the point of Ace asking Yuu if what they're saying is true.

Grim latches himself onto Ace, repeatedly screaming that they're not lying; triggering another flashback. But Ace just chews us out for taking the joke too far, and that we shouldn't ruin the vibes of the vacation. That's when Sebek butts in, calling Ace shallow for ignoring the pleas of his friends. But Ace counters that Sebek couldn't read the room for randomly joining a vacation he has no involvement in.

Sebek replies that he didn't even want to go with the others, but here's just here because he needs to wake Ace up. But Ace's response to the whole dream thing is just him being apathetic, not caring if it's reality or not. Because he thinks if you've lived in a dream long enough, it's not longer a dream isn't it? But a new reality, and not a lot of people can say they're living life without hardship. It's like he already weighed all the outcomes and possibilities of the situation he's in.

Sebek argues back that he cares about Malleus, which is why he and Silver are trying to wake everyone to save him. Because to him, he doesn't want to continue if it means leaving Malleus alone. But Ace doesn't sympathize, he actually blames Malleus for their current predicament and if he gets lonely; he brought it upon himself. To Ace, Sebek's being selfish for ruining his dream just to go and save the one who caused the problem to happen; and to ask Ace's help to defeat Malleus? That's pretty much a death sentence (now Ace isn't exactly a saint either, both are selfish as to how much are they willing to sacrifice for the people they care about). Ace runs away, and that's when Ortho asks the question: if it were someone else, would Sebek hold the same dedication to wake everyone up? Deuce blames Sebek for this, whihc he goes "HUH? WHY ME?!"

Ortho agress with Deuce, Sebek got too emotional and Ace had a point with what he was saying. Sebek tries to defend himself by saying that it's for Malleus and Lilia but what he did is still considered selfish by anyone's standards. Even Ortho admits that's he's selfish too, and also helped because Idia was in trouble; not everyone is forced to do this.

The seniors are back and they all agree with Ace that he isn't exactly necessary to the plan. We actually get to see Silver get mad at Sebek for causing this whole mess, not realizing that his behavior does have consequences. Once again, Sebek tries defending himself but Silver wasn't having it; leaving him no choice but to submit.

Idia says that even if everyone teams up, it's not guaranteed that they can defeat Malleus and Silver prefers not to force people to fight. Even Leona acknowledges that Ace's current magical prowess is just that of an ordinary mage, and that they can simply move on without him (Deuce, Yuu and Grim are saddened by this).

Cater says that Ace is probably frustrated and alone right now, so he chooses to look for him to help him "sleep" without the interference of Leona or Idia. Cater leaves with Yuu, Grim, and Deuce going after him (the others follow suit too just to make sure nothing bad happens). Yuu catches up with him and tries to convince to let them talk to Ace one more time. But Cater affirms that he doesn't intend to leave Ace here and has a plan (awww)

So Cater was right, he finsd Ace alone thinking about the things the others have told him. He lends an ear as he listens to Ace rant about the whole thing, and he agrees that his reaction to everything was normal; but then he suddenly goes "what they're saying is actually true tho" then HE SUMMONS HIS CLONES TO BEAT ACE'S ASS NAURRR 😭😭😭

This causes Dream! Riddle and Dream! Trey to appear and they're mad at Cater for attacking Ace. EVEN DREAM! DEUCE AND DREAM! CATER APPEAR but they just take Ace away. Ortho tries to intervene but the others stop him. With Leona telling the others that Cater asked to not be interfered and Deuce adding that it was also his plan to find a way to trigger the darkness.

Cater's plan is working, as Ace starts to become aware of his surroundings; that the things his dorm mates are saying are stuff they wouldn't say in real life. He also points out that how can someone like him help defeat Malleus, and that he's scared. The darkness actually reveals Ace's vulnerable side and we're just watching it from afar. Silver notices that Ace is being persuaded by the darkness but Idia knows that Ace is clever, that's when Leona chimes in that Ace realizes that there's always going to be someone stronger than him, thus knowing his limits. That's when Idia's like "brotha aren't you just talking about yourself?", cue Leona trying to break his tablet.

We also learn more about how the Dark Mirror chooses its students, while the qualities in which one gets sorted into a dorm remains vague it usually chooses people who leave a mark on history in the future.

Okay going back to Ace, Cater brings up that time during Riddle's overblot and about how quick they were to jump into action. He thanks him for inspiring to fight against their Housewarden that day, also adding that going into fights that are "winnable" seem lame and that he's scared too, but they have to fight. Ace actually starts crying, because he doesn't want to look like a coward and that's what wakes him up.

Cater helps Ace out of the darkness and calls for the others for backup. After that, Grim and Deuce are mad at Ace for trying to stay in the dream. He also nags to Cater about him using his UM on him, but it was the only way to get him to wake up. They show Ace the video and now his pissed at Malleus, but Grim's like "weren't you scared of him earlier???".

Silver thanks Ace for his help and also apologizes for Sebek's behavior, in which Ace blames Lilia and Silver for spoiling him and Sebek's like "I'M NOT SPOILED BY SILVER 😡". Ortho did mention that Sebek looked awkward after their argument and suggests that he should apologize but Idia replies that he has too much of a pride to do so. Ace just bullies Sebek lmao, forgiving him with his "whole heart".

Cater steps in before it gets any worse, and we get ADeuce saying "Dream Form Change" now. Ace still doesn't want to fight Malleus, but given the circumstance he doesn't really have a choice. Once shown his dummy version, Grim just laughs at his outfit and Cater comments on the fruits

The dream ends with the first years complaining about how cramped it is and Leona just tells Silver to get on with it.

And that ends Ace's Dream, took me awhile to get this out because we actually learn a lot about him in this one and I really tried my best to give him justice yknow?

We're off to Trey's Dream next, see you then!

Previous: Cater's Dream Next: Trey's Dream

(Note: This post is a summarized version of the update, info and pics comes from @/LBucchie, @/WitchDrug, and @/acesuuu on x/twt, give them some support if you can)

#rany talks about twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twst jp #diasomnia #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #idia shroud #oortho shroud #leona kingscholar #deuce spade #cater diamond #ace trappola #btw guys im gonna give a heads up that trey's segment will come out around this week #can't guarantee which day since I'm quite busy but I'll try my best to get it out by then

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beneathsilverstars · 1 month ago

Text

Was explaining my thoughts about Vaugardian attitudes towards mental health and therapy as part of a different topic, but it got really long so dfjkghdf here it is as a whole post! Starting with some more general worldbuilsing but hold on, we’ll get there.

Since Houses canonically contain libraries and infirmaries and provide things like education and transition care, I see them as a center of not just community but specifically community resources. If you have a problem or a question, you go to the local House, and if they can't solve it themself they'll point you in the direction of whoever can! Thus Housemaidens generally fill a role similar to social workers, and specific Housemaidens will have specialties like being a doctor, cook, teacher of a particular subject, etc. In larger cities, a lot of the more specific or labor-intensive resources would probably be outsourced to other charities/companies/organizations, or perhaps split into specialties by House, to better serve a dense population instead of trying to cram every resource into every neighborhood's House. But you would still go to any House first to find these other resources, so every House would maintain a focus on educating and advising. Combine this with the fact that religious leaders are often one of the first people that followers go to for personal guidance, and it makes sense that Housemaidens would provide all sorts of counseling, filling the role of everything from job coach to therapist.

If Housemaidens are the people providing all or at least most of the therapy in the country, then even if they're not trying to push religious doctrine, the Change belief is still going to be the source of the values and philosophies that their therapeutic models are based in. They can try to be nonpartisan and avoid mentioning Change in so many words, but it'll still be baked into the default assumptions of the local modalities in a self-perpetuating manner. If you want an entirely different approach, you're probably going to have find someone who specifically studied alternate modalities from other countries, any of which would have a much smaller market share than Change-based therapies.

So! Vaugardian therapy will focus on questions like "What Changes have been happening in your life lately, and how do you feel about them?" "What would you like to Change in your life?" "What can you Change about your thought processes and habits to address the things that trouble you?" and "Who do you want to be?" Which sound like just a particular way to word fairly common topics, but! These questions would be asked in pursuit of Change-y goals, as well.

The goal of irl mental healthcare as an industry is to make sure people can be productive. A common diagnostic question is "does this symptom interfere with your ability to work and otherwise get things done?" But Vaugardians are friendly and helpful to the point of approaching utopia, so I could see them being less concerned with this, because they're more willing to accept that some people can't work and some people need more support. In fact, in keeping with their distaste for carcinization, they might actively oppose the idea that there is any particular goal that people should be working towards. If there's one type of existence that is best for all people at all times, reaching it would mean there's no reason to ever Change again! So instead of any particular milestones, the goal is simply to set and strive towards goals that feel right to you.

I also think they'd be less likely to work off of a diagnostic model at all; you can't just say that someone inherently has depression. They may be depressed right now, but that can Change! The Change might require constant upkeep, but some Changes are like that, and it doesn't mean the Change is any less real. Instead, they'd probably be more focused on individual symptoms (and traits!), which might tend to come in certain clusters, but those clusters would be seen as trends rather than criteria. The Change modality would be less concerned with whether a state of being is disordered vs normal/healthy (and they'd be less likely to conflate "normal" and "healthy"), focusing instead on whether you're happy with where you're at, but also willing and able to Change as suits you.

So, "I feel apathetic all the time, I don't want to put effort into anything and I don't care about anything, I don't know who I am or who I want to be" would be an experience of depression symptoms that a Vaugardian therapist would prioritize helping you Change. But "I don't care about any of the things I used to care about, I think I want to quit my job and cut off all my friends so I can spend more time sleeping" would be... an idea a good therapist may recommend you spend some time exploring, to make sure that's what you really want and you're ready for the ramifications... but they wouldn't say, "No, that's a bad thing to want, we need to treat your depression so that you no longer want to do that." If you really do hate your job and your friends right now, stagnating in that because you feel like you ought to would be the worst case scenario! If pursuing this Change ends up making you feel unfulfilled and lonely and sick of sleeping all day, then, well, you can just Change again at that point, once you've decided that's what you want to do.

In an opposite example, a common criticism of irl therapy is that it provides bandaid solutions for structural issues. "I'm anxious about losing my job" might be addressed by mindfulness methods to lessen anxiety, which is better than nothing, but if you're genuinely in danger of losing your job and thus access to shelter and food, that's not something you can mindfulness away. Versus, in Change-based therapies, they would focus on discussing what you get out of that job and what about it makes you anxious. You might decide that you want to change careers to something that fits you better right now — which would be a lot easier to accomplish in Vaugarde than it would be irl, because of the resources provided by the Houses and general community. Or, you might decide that there's something about yourself that you want to change in order to better fit the job. So instead of working on the feeling of anxiety, you might work on building new skills, or building better relationships with your coworkers.

... I wrote this post thinking that Vaugardian therapy might use similar techniques to CBT (therapy), since CBT focuses on understanding the patterns of thought, behavior, and belief that lead to psychological issues, so that you can replace negative patterns with habits that serve you better. Sounds like making mental changes in order to change your feelings and actions! It would just be in favor of different goals than irl CBT under capitalism.

However. I did some more research, and it looks like Humanistic therapy is very similar to what I made up just now? According to this text, humanistic therapy "emphasizes growth and self-actualization rather than curing diseases or alleviating disorders." Psychological issues are "viewed as the result of inhibited ability to make authentic, meaningful, and self-directed choices about how to live," so it focuses on "helping people free themselves from disabling assumptions and attitudes so they can live fuller lives."

It's less of a set of techniques and more of a philosophy. According to this website, the key is empathy and "unconditional positive regard," which means the therapist "shows warmth, is receptive, and is nonjudgmental." They cultivate a casual, friendly atmosphere, instead of positioning themself as an authority figure. Client-centered therapy is a subtype that sounds like the most cliché sort of talk therapy; the therapist "listens, acknowledges, and paraphrases your concerns," giving you a space where you can be honest and accepted as yourself. Another subtype is gestalt therapy, which "focuses on the skills and techniques that allow you to be aware of your feelings and emotions," and encourages a focus on the present and self-responsibility.

So! That sounds about right! Vaugardian therapists aim to help you recognize your emotions and figure out who you are and who you want to be, through casual conversation and empathetic active listening, without judgement. They help you look at your skills, emotions, desires, and struggles, and guide you to consider the full breadth of options available to you, so you can decide what Changes will lead you to happiness and fulfillment. They especially try to avoid diagnosing, prescribing, or otherwise telling you who you must be or what you must need. They may provide suggestions — help you put something into words, or bring up options that professionals are more familiar with such as medication, or challenge you to re-examine your assumptions — but it's a collaborative brainstorming, and they want you to freely choose the option you think is best for you.

#also. while i'm here. the island north of vaugarde is into mindfulness and DBT #and maybe the parts of existential therapy that are less similar to other kinds of humanistic therapy.#and ka bue's most popular modality is similar to internal family systems therapy #(which is about recognizing and helping the different parts of you that feel and want different things)#but they call it something about facets. heehee #in stars and time #isat #vaugarde #s.worldbuilding #s.isat #s.vaugarde #help i spent over 6 hours on this post #working my 9 to 5 in the fandom analysis mines

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