#should have just wrote a proper little story haha

[a-simp-named-slickback]

Nashira Headcannons | AC Mirage OC

I guess these technically aren't headcannons since I wrote this character, but you get what I mean. These are little details about Nashira that didn't make it into the final story. Plus, I hope it's something that'll hold y'all over till I finish some of those other drabbles. Enjoy!

Nashira is an Arabic name meaning “the lucky one” or “bearer of good news”. It’s also the Arabic name of a star in the Capricorn constellation. I like to think Khalid named her after a favorite constellation of his <3

Halah is an Arabic name for “the aura of light around the moon” 

I feel like Nashira would be the type to need glasses, but according to my research glasses weren’t invented yet in the 9th century. So Instead she uses a magnifying glass for words written in small print.

Nashira didn’t have many children to play with when she was younger so she mostly spent her days reading and playing with stray cats

I imagine she’d have a hard time relating to kids her own age. If other kids were talking about toys and games, Nashira wouldn’t really know what they were talking about. The same could be said when she’d talk about star charts and math equations.

She has a MASSIVE sweet tooth. Her favorite foods are candied fruits, namely dates. While her father spoils her with them (cause he likes them too tbh) he gets on to her about eating only snacks and not proper meals.

She’s 100% a grazer lol Who needs proper meals when you have studying to do, amirite? (AN: seriously though, you should try to eat proper meals especially if you’re studying. And drink lots of water!!!)

Nashira is notoriously messy and unorganized, as opposed to her father who is very neat and tidy. He gets on to her about not keeping her desk tidy only to clean it up for her anyway.

She’s one of those “I have a system and it works for me.” kind of people

I imagine her and Basim are the exact same age, whatever that is in the game lol. I know he’s 17 in the beginning of the game, so I imagine they’d meet at age 15 or 16

As for when Basim returns to Baghdad it’s not super clear how much time passes but I kind of just peg Basim and Nashira to be about 20-21 during the events of the game

One thing she liked about Basim is that he’s just as interested in learning more about the world around them as she is. She likes how he adds his own unique perspective on topics she’s only really discussed with people of a similar background to her.

Plus he’s kind of a “bad boy” and she thinks thats cool lol (teenagers amirite?)

Her most defining physical trait would be the many moles on her face, the biggest one being just above her left eyebrow. She’s always raising that eyebrow when she makes faces and I think that’s something Basim would adore haha

She raises a brow at him alot cause he’s always doing something cheeky

She doesn’t throw tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, but she will do a lot of huffing and puffing (as a kid she’d even stomp her foot if she’s really worked up). 

That's all I got so far. My ask box is open if y'all have any other questions about her or anything to do with my fic Star-Crossed. I'd be happy to answer as long as it's not something that'll show up in a drabble I'm writting lol

[khalaris]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Ooh lots of fun questions, thank you @justhugsplz for tagging me <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

61,430 which is absolutely mind-boggling to me. And of those about 45k are Tatort Wien. Which I started writing exactly one year ago. For comparison, I've been writing fanfic for over 20 years and until I fell into Tatort fandom in 2021 I'd posted less than 3k in total.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively Tatort Wien at the moment. If I ever manage to peek my head out of that particular rabbit hole, I might get back to some Münster WIPs. Not in the near future, though :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Aufgeben -> Der Anruf -> Die Welt in unseren Händen -> Bordsteingespräche -> Loslassen

Haha, Tatort Münster with a little sprinkle of Wien. I don't usually sort by kudos, so it's a bit surprising to see Die Welt in unseren Händen rank so high. Well, high in a range between 75 and 34. That's just how it is in small fandoms :D

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always. Sometimes it takes a while to get to it. But I always want to take the time and energy to write a proper response, because a) if someone else took the time and energy to tell me how they feel about my story, the least I can do is tell them how much I appreciate them commenting. and b) A comment always feels like the start of a conversation to me. I remember the long comment/discussion threads under fanfic on Livejournal and I miss the community of that. Nowadays it often feels like there's this growing gulf between author and reader, probably because of the current content creator/consumer culture that does little to invite equality or discussion.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Silence, a Torchwood CoE fic about John Frobisher's last moments.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Bordsteingespräche. I'm really proud of how everything came together in the end in that one :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, thankfully never.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

If you'd asked me that a month ago, I would have said no. But recently I kind of got over my terminal embarrassment at even trying to write anything smutty. I haven't posted anything yet, but there's several fics/chapters in the works. Tbh I don't find vanilla sex interesting and most of the usual kinks in fanfic are either squicks or a snooze-fest to me. The stuff that I am writing is either weirdly specific kink or just downright unsexy (which my characters are having a frankly outrageous amount of fun with atm, bless them).

I'm a bit hesitant to put any real smut in a fic that isn't actually primarily about the smut. I fear enough people might be put off by that, so hardly anyone would end up reading it then. Bit of a stupid fear to have, perhaps, but still...

(Yes, I know, I should just get over it and simply write and post whatever the hell I want 😅)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've had a lot of crossover ideas over the years, but the only thing I've ever written was an MCU/Agents of Shield thingie I hacked out during NaNoWriMo a couple of years ago. Let's be honest, that combination is the least crazy crossover of all time and hardly counts as a crossover at all. Like 99% of the stuff I've ever written during NaNo, it's completely horrible, unfinished and should never see the light of day again.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've translated Bordsteingespräche myself, but was very unhappy with the result, which is why it's unavailable at the moment. It's going to get reworked at some point.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many many years ago, when the world was still young and some of you not yet born 😂, the lovely @hope-calaris and I cooked up a tentative plot for a rather ambitious Star Trek: Voyager fanfic. We didn't end up writing that one, but later co-wrote a CSI: Miami one with someone else iirc and I believe there might have been a 4400 (?) fic, also. Due to depression, my memory of that time is hazy at best, though, so it's possible that I'm missing or misremembering things there.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Didn't expect this question to be so difficult to answer, but is kinda is... 🙈 I guess any combination of my 3 Tatort Wien blorbos. Apart from that, Boerne/Thiel and Stephen Strange/Tony Stark are ships I can always come back to.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The aforementioned MCU/AoS time-travel epic.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially banter-y dialogue. And editing sentences/paragraphs for maximum impact (when I take the time to do it)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. What characters are doing, how they're moving, getting them from A to B and so on. Ugh.

External conflict. I despise conflict in real life and find it extremely difficult to write. You won't find an antagonist in any of my current stories or wips. And when I do write conflict between characters, that's always rooted in their internal conflicts and mostly the result of them not communicating properly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's very hard to do right. Translations in footnotes are annoying and leave me confused while reading. Translations in brackets behind the dialogue also annoying and missing the point of having different-language dialogue in the first place. It can be good when the author puts enough context there that you can get the gist of what is being said without needing an actual translation.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files. There's probably some 23-year old notebooks in the back of a drawer somewhere at my mom's house that have fanfic snippets mixed with homework assignments.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oof, that's another difficult one. I have several that are favourites for different reasons.

Bordsteingespräche for the sheer joy and ease with which it was written.

Kaputt for how much of my heart and soul I'm putting into it.

Die Welt in unseren Händen, because after twenty years of trying and failing I am now finally writing an epic long-form multi-chapter fanfic and I have so many plans and ideas for it. I cannot put into words just how wild that is. And I simply adore this version of my favourite characters.

No-pressure tagging @carlomenzinger, @kathastrophen and @all-my-worlds-a-stage if you want to :)

[slashmagpie]

How long do you spend planning/world building for fics? If I should be more specific, how long did you plan the lore and mechanics that feature in Lifeline au before you wrote it? I mean it’s technically based on a video game but still

Okay so actually my answer for fics in general and my answer for LLAU is different! Normally before I sit down to write a fic I will figure out enough of what's going on to write a page of bullet points of lore/worldbuilding, work out the magic system, and draft an outline. I'm the sort of writer who, even when I have an outline, will inevitably drift from that outline and add a bunch of new subplots and worldbuilding elements as I go to flesh out the story more, and I'm familiar enough now with my process to account for that and roll with it.

For example: screenshots from my planning doc for TFatBatG, the fic I wrote before LLAU.

^ Here you can see me workshopping the premise and beginning to flesh out the character arcs, using points from canon to bounce off of. Some of this stuff didn't even make it into the final fic!

^ Parts of my actual chapter-by-chapter outline. As you can see, it's a lot more detailed at the beginning then it is towards the end, and if you've read the fic, you'll notice that there are several subplots that occur during these chapters which aren't even mentioned here. Those are things that I came up with on the fly. Things tend to stray for me more in later chapters than earlier ones, because things just tend to develop organically as I'm writing, and then need to be resolved later.

LLAU, however, is a little different, in that I originally started writing it as a fun chill burn-out project. You see, I'd just finished writing TFatBatG, which was the first longfic I'd ever finished, the first thing I'd written to pass 100k, and also written during a 14 week period in which I finished my masters and started working a full-time job, so as you can imagine. I was feeling pretty burnt out by the end of it. But I also then had a lot of free time open up (started working night shifts), and I needed something to do with that time. I had a bunch of other ideas that I wanted to write (and still want to write!) but trying to start any of them was really difficult for me. I just wanted something fun and easy and chill to work on when I felt like it to try and get me through that burn-out period and back to actually writing.

And then one night on discord we were making moon's haunted jokes, and I went "haha Hermitcraft Lifeline AU" (because Lifeline is a moon's haunted-ass piece of media), and then I went ".....hang on. Hermitcraft Lifeline AU,"

I picked my main characters, wrote up the summaries for EO, MB, and LB, redownloaded the game to play through it, and then wrote and published the first chapter the very next day.

And people liked it! And I liked it! And then I had a 10-day busy period between Empty Oceans chapter one and two where I couldn't write, and I spent some of that time plotting out what I wanted to do with the series and where I wanted to take it. (Shoutout to @/lunarblazes for bouncing ideas around with me!) This planning period was when I decided that Bdubs would be the time monk guy as well as the captain guy, and that Impulse was the Queen, and I figured out the basics of the magic system, but the picture of the series I had in my head at that time was still very limited.

I don't have a proper outline for LLAU: my planning document complains the fic summary, character lists, and bulletpoints taken from the Lifeline wiki. For EO and MB I was using the games themselves as an outline, since they follow the plots pretty closely, and the only fic that had a chapter-by-chapter outline was AfaM (which I didn't even know I was going to write when I started EO; I decided that I was going to write it somewhere towards the end of working on MB). LB has a general outline but it's definitely not comprehensive and has changed a lot since I wrote it (I don't even open the doc when I work on the fic anymore.)

^ The LB outline, up until the point that we've reached now. You might notice that False is not mentioned once here. That's because I didn't realise I wanted her to be part of the story until I was halfway through AfaM.

^ Some of the notes that I took from the Lifeline Wiki, which are basically all the notes I have explaining the magic system, some of which I didn't even use. (And some bonus stuff about PWG which was the basis for Impulse's backstory.)

So yeah: while I had some stuff planned from the very beginning, a lot of the specific details didn't work themselves out until much later in the process. Since LLAU is based on a discontinued game series, I basically came into it with pieces of a puzzle, and I had to figure out how to make them work together; the facade was there and I had to create the inner workings. So whilst I've always had the vague "this is what the magic system can do and this is how it works," a lot of it wasn't set in stone until... I wanna say when I was working on AfaM? That was when I worked out the specifics of time travel and also "time = space = sentience."

So yeah! I do do a lot of planning, but most of that is in the form of me daydreaming on the bus and yelling incoherent ideas in my friend Doc's dms (you may know her as doctortrekkie of Still the Echoes Give Us Light). I have a vague general outline in my head (this will happen, then this, then this), and chapter-wise I tend to have the next 1-5 chapters planned out, but I give myself a lot of room to work things out organically. (Also currently I'm doing a lot of planning/brainstorming for the endgame climax of the fic, so I can begin setting up my dominoes to knock down now that the Impulse reveal is out of the way.) This is definitely not the way I normally write (I prefer having more structure/plan than this), but the fact that this was a fun impromptu project that took over my brain in a way that I wasn't expecting has allowed me to be a lot more fast and loose with it, lol.

It does also mean that some of the stuff that cropped up in EO and even MB is what I would consider some Early Installment Weirdness, and if I was writing it now I would definitely do it differently, but I'm very happy to be transparent about that kinda stuff when people ask. I'm not gonna pretend I'm a genius and that this was some kind of expertly crafted long con plot from the very beginning. I'm figuring things out as I go and having a blast with it.

Sorry for the long ramble! I love talking about the writing process, and LLAU has been unorthodox even for me, so it was really fun to break it down. This is, I think, the creative project I have enjoyed working on the most in my life, and it's taught me a lot of things that I will definitely be taking away with me for the future.

But tl;dr to answer your question: I did very little prior planning and the entire writing process has also been a continuous planning process that isn't over yet.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

If they won this year it would have been soo obvious that they won only based on popularity or bias, rather than the actual quality of the show. Like, I don't necessarily think Eastenders really deserved the awards, like Coronation Street and Hollyoaks are the shows with the best critical reception, but at least Emmerdale didn't win it. Because Emmerdale is quite frankly, awful, and ALL of those soaps deserve an award over Emmerdale lmao. Eastenders seemed to bring themselves back by bringing old, fan-fave characters back. If Emmerdale decided to do this for the revamp, what would your ideal scenarios be?

Since I wrote my other essay, I'll finally answer this one too because I did think about it back when I got this ask.

So let's see, aside from obviously somehow convincing Danny and Ryan to come back and getting the post prison ptsd story and reunion of my dreams....

Haha.

I still think if I were going to bring back old characters that I feel like would be more plausible than Danny and Ryan, I would bring in a recast Joe Tate and Jean Tate. I just really think Kim needs proper people up at Home Farm to interact with. Gabby is not cutting it. Will is pathetic. And Dawn and Billy just feel at odds with the place. I feel like Joe and Jean could really liven the place up a bit and make it feel like a return of the Tate dynasty again. Plus without Debbie to drag him down, Joe could be fun again. Jean could be a good adversary for Gabby because I'm tired of her fighting with Dawn. Like who cares. I also feel like Jean and Joe could bring Caleb back into the mix because they really dropped the ball on that reveal too since they just let Kim win too easily. I for one would like to see Kim struggle for once or at least have a challenge on her hands. It's boring just letting her win all the time. I'd like to see her at least have to compromise. Suffer them all working up there.

I'd also get rid of the HOP and put in a more practical business where we could actually see people work, not just one random person cleaning tables at the HIDE. It's so ridiculous to have an outdoor pursuits center at this point. They should have let it die with Ben and the whole Meena fiasco. That's clearly what it was meant for. Now it's just silly.

Speaking of building up families, I would also really try and coax Rik Makarem back to play Nikhil. I miss the dynamic between him and Jai and I think throwing Suni into that mix would be fun. And I would get Georgia back full time. I'd also actually bring in Amit. Make killing off Rishi actually worth while. I mean Priya could come back too but I doubt she would.

I'd also definitely use David leaving to bring in a new family at the shop. The show has been desperate for a big new family unconnected to anyone else for so long. Hasn't happened since the Bartons. Because they've tried with the Andersons but they've been so bogged down by so many convoluted nonsense connections and plots that everyone just hates them. They need to bring in a fresh family and just let them integrate into the village first. Let them exist without some major secret hanging over their heads that connects them to another villager. Let them build up to their bigger plots. Just let them clash with the village because their prices are too high or they stop carrying a brand of cereal people like or something dumb and low key like that. Haha.

If I was going to bring a character back from the dead, I still think it would be Val. Now she'd be less good now than she might have been a few years ago when Diane was still around and Faith, but I still feel like Val would be a breath of fresh air with Brenda and Eric and the older crowd. Also they could actually do something with her connection to Amy and Kyle. She could plan the wedding of the year for Matt and Amy. She could just be a lot of fun in general, which the show certainly needs.

I'd also probably try and get Adam Thomas to come back. He'd be a little lost without Aaron there but I think he would breathe some life back into the Bartons and I'd like to see him interact with Matty and Mack and maybe he could make Vic an actual character again instead of just everyone's plot friend.

I'd also definitely axe several characters: Wendy, Nate, Will, Chloe, Kerry, Suzy, Claudette, honestly Charles and Ethan at this point too, Amelia, Ryan, Gail...

Maybe I would cast a third Ellis to give Billy some purpose again too. Haha

I think it would be hard to bring back other older characters at this point because they have to be people that would really make an impact on the village and have actual purpose. I feel like most of the other people from the classic days who aren't already dead just wouldn't have any good connections to work with.

Who would you bring back anon? (assuming you're still checking for me to post this because it's been weeks)

[darling-dummy-blogs]

Life After You- Victor Li

Summary: Life after you.. was Hell.. 

Paring: Victor Li X Cassandra Li (OC)

Genre: Angst 

Tags/Warnings: Mentions of Death (not really but it's implied), Pregnancy (implied) and Depression (also implied), etc.

Fandom: Mr. Love Queen's Choice 

Word Count: 1.1k 

Notes: 

So…  

I don't even know how or why I wrote this but it hurt like hell 💔

Enjoy~

Cassandra stared up at the bright blue sky, watching the soft and fluffy clouds drift along, a comforting breeze filled the air, caressing Cassandra's skin as she basked in the daylight. The sun shone down on her while she sat there, gazing longingly. In her lap, laid a bouquet of red roses. 

"It's been a year, my love. 

A year since you've been gone…"

"A year without you has been tortuous. The first few days, weeks, and months were painful. It was hard to get out of bed. It was hard to go to work. It was hard to leave our home.. When everywhere I looked I could see you…"

"The days don't seem as bright… The nights seem cold and empty without being in your loving arms. It's become…rather lonely without you here." 

"I miss you.. 

I miss you so fucking much."

"But…at least, despite you not being with me..  I still have pieces of you to wake up to every single day.. Our beautiful daughter. She's the spitting image of you. And she's gotten so big."

"She asks about you a lot. She's become so talkative and lively… She lights up the whole room with her beautiful smile and joyous laughter."

"Isabella is a perfect combination of both of us; she has your eyes, your hair.. She even has your smile. While she has my personality.. It's honestly crazy how alike you both are."

"I…I wish you could see her. She misses you too. She misses you cuddling her at night, singing her lullabies or reading her bedtime stories. She loved the way you told her bedtime stories.. She misses hearing you everyday."

"She's wonderful. She's perfect. Just like you were."

"Isabella has grown into such a smart little girl. For three years old she's quite the intellectual I'll tell you that… she knows what she wants and can be quite demanding."

"Haha… It reminded me of you. Everything she does reminds me of you. She's your twin. No matter what, I always see you through her and each and every day further proves that."

"You've missed so much… Like.. The birth of our son; Zachariah. The day I found out you were gone was the day I found out I was pregnant yet again."

"And he's just as perfect as Isabella. The spitting image of me. Looks like we both have a twin haha.."

"He never got the chance to meet you. But I always tell him stories about you. I tell both our children about you all the time."

"I've told them all our stories. At least the ones I loved most.. All the beautiful stories we've made over the years."

"...Gavin and Mia have been around quite a bit more to help me with the children. They've been such a huge help."

"I never would have gotten through this past year if it wasn't for them. Gavin often watched over them, took them out for walks in the park or did things to keep them happy and entertained. He practically lived in our house for quite some time. Because I couldn't do it, I couldn't face the world without you by my side. I couldn't be a proper mother to them.. And part of me regrets it because I know I should have been strong for them…"

"Gavin didn't want to leave me alone in this house, filled with all our memories, all our precious memories…"

"Mia often came by to help around the house and often did work with me at home, because there were times where I couldn't bear to leave our bedroom."

"It was hard. Raising two kids as a single..- No. As a widow."

"…" She sniffles, tears in her eyes. 

"I-I don't have the courage to move on. I don't have the courage to take off my wedding rings. I wear yours as a necklace everyday." She quietly spoke, bringing a hand up to play with the silver band that was connected to the chain around her neck. 

"I can't bear to move on. You were the love of my life. My last and only love. I don't want to be with anyone else. And I know you'd tell me to move on. To be happy but I can't. I just can't do that without you…"

"Life before you was dull. Life after you.. Was hell."

"I can't…" She took a shaky breath, stopping herself from letting out a sob. 

"I just want you to know.. I love you so much. And I miss you. I miss seeing your handsome face every single morning. I miss your kisses, I miss your hugs.."

"I miss you-" 

"Mama!!!" A cheerful voice called out to Cassandra, causing her to look over. When she did she saw her daughter, running over to her, excitedly.

Setting the bouquet aside, she smiles, wiping at her tears as she opens up her arms to her. 

When Isabella caught up, she crashed into her arms with a happy smile and a beautiful laugh. "Hi baby girl.." She softly spoke, a small giggle escaping Cassie as she hugged her tightly. 

Isabella wrapped her small arms around Cassandra's neck, curling up into her arm, "Are you talking to Daddy, Mama?" She asked, curiously. 

Cassie couldn't help but smile, nodding. "Yeah baby.. I was talking to Daddy… He misses you, sweetheart." She gently stroked her daughter's hair, kissing her forehead.

"I miss him too.." Isabella whispers, holding onto Cassie as she rests her head on her shoulder.

"Sorry about that Cass, I tried to stop her from coming over here too soon." Gavin spoke, finally catching up with his rather energetic niece, holding his sleeping nephew in one of his arms, a small smile on his face. 

Cassie gazed at him with a smile, "It's okay Gavin. No worries, I was just finishing up anyways." She gently set the flowers into the little vase she brought, before placing it beside the stone grave where her husband was put to rest. 

"I have to get going now my love.. I'll come back again soon, okay?" She softly whispered. Before standing up with her daughter in her arms, gazing at Gavin. "Let's go." She gave him a smile. 

He nods, leading them back to her car. On the way back to the car, Cassandra felt a brisk touch of the cool breeze caressing her cheek, causing her to stop walking. What was a simple feeling, felt more like a warming presence. 

Cassandra couldn't help but smile at that. She knew he heard her. She knew he was there with her. 

And she knew what that simple touch implied. 

"Dummy… I love you too." 

[youngpettyqueen]

✨🌈🎉 for the fic writer game, please!

✨ “What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)”

Probably leave your roles at the door. I have a lot of love for that fic and compared to some other stuff I’ve written it didn’t get much attention. I get why it didn’t- genfic in general doesn’t do as well as shipfic, and there isn’t really a lot of demand for Margaret and Radar content, but it’s one of my fav things I’ve ever written and I wish it got more attention to reflect that

🌈 “is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?”

what remains, which might be surprising cause it’s so short! I really struggled with both the beginning and the ending. I’d been trying to write that one for months, but couldn’t figure out how to get it going. Once I did, I couldn’t figure out how to end it

Originally it was longer. There was a lot more insight into Hawkeye and Radar’s relationship from BJ’s POV, and him thinking on how few people Hawkeye had left from the beginning. It felt very long-winded and tacked on just for angst’s sake, so I ultimately cut a good 500 - 1k out of the fic and ended it at short and sweet. I think the fic is a lot better for it, and works better as a short, insightful scene rather than a longer story proper

🎉 “how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)”

I celebrate every single one haha, I’m not shy about giving myself credit and validation. I write all of my fics for me first and everyone else second. I’m very much a “I wrote this for me but you can read it too” type of fic author. It’s why I don’t feel bad if my fics don’t get a lot of attention. I wish some got more, but ultimately I didn’t write them for other people. I wrote them for me, and posted them for fun, and I let the attention boost my ego a bit

At the end of the day, I know I’m a good writer. I’m a published author and I write a lot of original content, including the novel I’m working on. Fic is practice for me to make sure I don’t get caught in ruts and to practice my character writing. It’s all in good fun for me, so every post is a fun little celebration of inflicting my brain rot on everyone else haha

[quietbluejay]

wait i'm not done re: MTMTE and this isn't salt so I won't tag it that but anyone who doesn't want late game spoilers for MTMTE avert your eyes unless you want spoilers lol also i have no clue how common knowledge this twist is

"JRO made his self-insert god" bug me. no!!! bad!!! every word is wrong!!! in addition that's not where the problem is!!!

wanted to expand on this

RUNG IS NOT A SELF INSERT like honestly I think this is the sort of thing that only people who don't write can say, or people who don't do original characters/original stories. Is he kinda based on Roberts physically? yeah, but nothing I've seen says he's based on him in terms of personality or is meant to be him, like, you can tell when a character is a self-insert for the writer even if they're not the main character. Rung was created to fulfill a specific role as a side character. And I think that's actually part of the problem and why exactly he didn't really get a proper arc as I know Roberts has mentioned he should have done. Yeah Roberts wrote fic but also he was a 90s fic writer, and a lot of 90s fic is very different, tonally and in how OCs were written (and also genre etc etc etc), and Rung fits into that kind of OC people would create, as a side character that expands on the Real Canon Characters but doesn't have an arc of their own, a lot of people wrote little fics or ongoing series with this kind of character that sometimes spawned a real plot but didn't always, now okay most of my 90s fic reading was for comics fandoms or LOTR so maybe I shouldn't make blanket statements haha

RUNG IS NOT GOD. Like. did you miss the entire point. The point is that "Primus" is not a god, he's just some guy who happened to be the first Cybertronian and everyone ended up worshipping him later. The point is that there is no "Primus". I know some people probably do get this just fine and they're just saying it because it's fun or hyperbole or whatever but also. gah! it just misses the point entirely.

[vitaminwaterreviews]

Girls' Generation - Lion Heart

From Wikipedia:

“Upon its release, Lion Heart garnered mixed reviews from music critics. Slant Magazine's Anzhe Zhang wrote that the album was released to "quash" the suspicions that Girls' Generation was declining after the departure of member Jessica in September 2014. However, she added, "while [the album]'s great for omnivorous die-hard fans, it ultimately feels a little more than scatter-brained.” Chester Chin, penning for Malaysian newspaper The Star, praised the release of singles "Party", "Lion Heart" and "You Think" as "a promising start." Nevertheless, he disapproved of the rest of the album, dubbing it a "relatively tame offering" for "[traversing] way too quickly into filler territory" and criticizing the songs "Green Light" and "Paradise" for being too "generic." Kim Do-heon from South Korean online magazine IZM was slightly more positive towards the album, calling it "elegant", and appreciating the record's musical styles even though he felt that it was a decline compared to the group's previous albums as a nine-piece group.”

This felt like a worse version of IGAB, which itself felt like a worse version of Pink Tape. Overall score of 6.9 which might be just a tad low, but definitely not their strongest album either way.

Okay. So, in case you haven’t been able to tell yet, I’m a Massive fan of Jessica. And this album is, famously, the one after they kicked out Jessica. So I do have a bit of a personal agenda against this album abstractly. Now, specifically, I don’t actually think that’ll affect my perception of the songs or the album. I can’t pick Jessica’s voice out in any of the other SNSD songs that I know, and so I don’t think that her absence on this album will have any musical effect on my perception of it. And if the music is genuinely worse because she isn’t in it, then maybe they shouldn’t have kicked her out in the first place!

The only song that I know is You Think – which I actually listened to earlier today lol

Lion Heart

Bro wtf is that pizza

THat looks so undercooked wtf

Wait isn’t that this song on the TV?

(Oh I should say that I do SORT of know this song, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it all the way through)

I love the bass, getting some real retro vibes here

The MV is really nice actually. Love the aesthetic, love the story, the styling is alright, the choreo is a bit too sexy for what feels like a super bubblegum song imo

Haha the post-chorus rap! This feels very Twice actually

Oh my god I wonder if Twice have done a version of this song, that’d be crazy

And now they’re beating up the lion that’s so mean of them wtf

8/10, not their best work but it’s still pretty good

You Think

I haven’t seen this MV in Ages, all I remember is that it’s quite sexy by SNSD standards

Yep, these outfits certainly seem to fit that

Very stripped-back chorus. Bass and some horns(?) but mostly vocals

I dunno. I do have this song on my playlist but I hardly ever listen to it

That said, this sound sounds very Modern by SNSD standards. Like, something happened around 2014 where the sound of SM groups just Shifted somehow. I don’t know how to explain it.

7/10

PARTY

WHY IS IT IN ALL CAPS LIKE IT’S AN EARLY TWICE TITLE OR SOMETHING

Bass, woah that Bass is So bass

Bubblegum as hell lol

Haha wait I’m suddenly reminded of Cherry Bullet - Kka Kka. “Take take taking it to the top top top we’ll never stop stop stop till we get it done”

Oh my god this would be Such a good Cherry Bullet song too omg

The whistle in the chorus is … there. Not sure if I like it or if it’s too out of place

7/10, I really expect more from SNSD, but Bora and Haeyoon would have done a proper number on that song

One Afternoon

Oh this is nice, kind of low-key and groovy, love the guitar and the synth samples

Mmm

MMM these vocals

Okay, bringing in some strings, picking up the pace a tad

Random piano solo LETS GOOOO haha

9/10, this was so good like why

Okay, wow, I just got Really distracted trying to answer someone’s question on Reddit. Back to SNSD.

Show Girls

Crinkly, distorted intro man

The piano hits, bass, and vocals sure do sound like something out of a musical

Horns, alright

Okay, suddenly we’re faster and there’s a saxophone

This chorus feels so forced omg

Yeah… I think that this song is trying to be cool and things, but I am not really buying it

5/10. Harsh? Maybe. But… This was not that good to me

Fire Alarm

Why does them singing “danger” sound so comfortable haha

Bass is groovy, nice nice

I like the kind of synth scratch sound in the verses, that’s so good

Very synth heavy chorus, the vocals are kind of generic SNSD to me

8/10

Talk Talk

Rain

Certainly feels like rain

I do not like whatever that super high synth is

This song is so piano heavy, it’s like the driving force here

Nah, I don’t buy the last chorus. I don’t think the song built enough

7/10

Green Light

Pop electric guitar

Bubblegummy vocals

Nice and happy chorus, very synthpop. This is something that could easily be on Twicetagram

I’m jamming, it’s really nothing special but it’s also not bad

This bridge is SO Twicetagram haha

7/10, bubblegum goodness

Paradise

More synthpop bubblegum?

Sounds like it

The harmonies are pretty

Also like the vocalizations

Still, this is kinda mid by bubblegum standards. This would be like, one of the later-mid B-sides on Twicetagram

6/10

Check

And now we’re dark?

Oh okay, not that dark, just sexy

Haha “lipstick check, high heels check” that was cute

I dunno about this one. It feels very similar to what we’ve had so far, and even though it’s a bit bassier, it’s still bubblegum synth pop

7/10

Sign

More synthy bass, or is this electric guitar?

Maybe both

Some trumpets, okay

That was it? That was the chorus?

Yes, “more and more and more,” please do give me more because this sure isn’t enough

Okay, a bit more to the chorus this time, that’s good

Ah yes, obligatory trap moment

Bass moment

6/10, this felt so filler to me

Bump It

Ballad time, I guess it’s about that time in the album

Mmmm never mind I guess

Claps and very little instrumentation

Guitars here and there, some extra percussion

Now we’re just bass drum and vocals

6/10

[drifloonz]

yo, hello, considering your ask post, just wanted to ask how you are and hope you're doing well! I've noticed you enjoy writing request as fics mostly, why is that? Uhm, in case you're having trouble writing a glitchy red request where he meets the reader in a dream, I am the anon asking for that haha. Please don't push yourself to write for something that doesn't suit you or simply doesn't work out, that's okay! The last thing anyone wants is for something fun to become something exhausting.

YEA... thats the one. don't feel bad abt it lmao its just hard to format it again when i just wrote a fic bc i have to go through the motions again so i kept on writing towards the dream thing instead of just going in and writing the dream stuff first bc i feel like that'd be too disconnected ig. i should prooobably cut off the fat of the "intro" where you buy his cartridge again bc its just the same old same old but yk... it was an interesting concept, n i wanted to play with his whole dream thing since people forget about that aspect a good chunk.

i should probably write shorter fics and hcs for the sake of myself and others, but the 'tism makes it very hard for me to condense things </3

but honestly the one time i did it for glitchy its just bc i was hit with inspiration and a few scenes played out into my mind and i know i couldnt show that as properly with just a bulleted hc post lol. i mean i could? i know some ppl do headcanons and write a little bit of drabble between some of their headcanons but i wanted to give that one a proper story...

also the ending was in my mind and i knew that'd be good as hell lol

the only thing is that i have a short attention span ( adhd... among other things ) so sometimes i feel like my fics are p disjointed. like. literally. its why i just sort of timeskip to different scenes bc i am not dedicating myself to writing every inbetween )(*&^ so theyre a little rushed(?) but yk.

anyways ty for the ask thumbz up

[acemapleeh]

God I love your characterizations so much especially of Arthur and Alfred. I saw you write somewhere that they are just too sentimental. We love sentimental in this house tho. Do you have any soft hurt/comfort for them post revolution? U know like where they actually display at least a semblance of real affection for each other? Surely there must have been at least a few such moments?

I appreciate it 💘 Like father like son, they both are borderline hoarders when it comes to items that they have sentimental attachment to.

It wasn't until after the Great War did the begin trying to fix their relationship but it's still a long way off to where they are today. That wouldn't be until after and a bit during World War II did things really begin to patch up properly.

In between the two wars, was interesting to say the least.

Alfred, I'll be real, was obnoxious in the 20's. Between throwing grand, extravagant parties akin more to the ones of Versailles than Victorian grandeur and him going on his European Grand Tour, he was really trying to make a name for himself after the recognition he got for his services in the Great War. He was really trying to be seen as a grown, educated, mature adult. He attempted to write novels, be philosophical, got really into art, and tried finding a greater meaning of love and life. Francis adored him having this phase while Arthur, and even Matthew to an extent, were scoffing in annoyance.

Cut to the next decade and Alfred went a full one-eighty. The Great Depression hit him hard. In all the years Arthur had known his boy, he had never seen Alfred act like this. He was solemn, quiet, hid out west, really, he was acting a little too much like Matthew and that was worrying.

The most concerning rumor he heard was how Alfred would volunteer for stunts in Hollywood films for the risk taking and actually died on film on more than one occasion.

And so, Arthur takes a trip across the pond autumn of 1935. In hindsight, it wasn't his brightest idea. He should have just asked Matthew, but Arthur was having his own troubles at home and maybe actually seeing the other half of his eldest's country wouldn't be so bad a holiday to step away from his own economic problems.

Arthur steps off the boat in New York and realizes he hadn’t stepped a foot here in over a hundred years, and the last time he was here he certainly wasn’t sightseeing. He appreciates the city for a moment, how much its grown in that short span of time. The first smell he gets once he’s away from the docks, away from the tar and spices and sea, is that of roasted chestnuts. He’s staring at the bright red cart, his stomach grumbling and there’s suddenly a white, paper bag in his hand as he’s making his way to Grand Central. It’s a grand building- a real spectacle of architecture with lofty arches and elegant marble. 

He’s nearly late catching his train to Chicago.

His suitcase is as much filled with novels as it was with clothes. 

He chose to bring along ‘Murder on the Orient Express,’ ‘The Waves,’ and ‘Cold Comfort Farm’  to name a few of the things he hopes to pass the time with.

Chicago is a miserably windy and cold city. The accent catches Arthur off guard and he doesn’t spend much time here. He’s got another train to catch: the Santa Fe.

The books being sold in the little shop at the station there catch his eye. He knew Alfred had been boasting about his authors for a while but he had yet to bother really looking into any. He thumbs through several and walks away with enough to last the journey out west and back.

‘The Postman Always Rings Twice,’  ‘As I Lay Dying,’ and ‘Tender is the Night’ are additions to his collection.

He’s reading the paper as he settles in his compartment. It’s all depressing business. There’s a serial killer lose in Detroit, leaving behind headless corpses of vagrants all over the city with not a single lead. Crops are doing poorly as people are forced to leave their farms after the black blizzards across the Great Plains from Canada to south Texas (which explained Matthew sounding poorly over the phone; he planned on seeing him shortly after this visit). Unemployment is at 20.1% which was a slight improvement over the previous year.

The train ride is pleasant, the food is some of the best he’s had in years, and he’s comfortable looking out at the scenery. He never got to see the country past the Appalachians and sure, it’s a lot of flat land and tall grass but it feels like his son. 

His nerves don’t start acting up until he’s actually in California, staring back and forth between the paper where the address had been scrawled and the plaque by the garage door. He knew this was his son’s house. Escaped to the seaside in Santa Monica to cure an ailed heart of woe.

When Alfred answers the door, he’s furious, but Arthur can tell there’s some of his usual spit and fire missing. He’s shoving his way inside, commenting loudly on how crowded everything is for such a big country and how loud the passengers on the train were and how every other person simply had to comment about his accent. Alfred is trying to ask him why he’s even here to begin with while trying to push him back in the direction of the door. Is the old man there to laugh at his misfortune? To gloat how well his country is doing over the mess the United States got themselves into?

Arthur is making mental notes as he walks the downstairs. Not one light is on, all the windows are open, he can only hear the ocean and no hums of electricity. He opens the Freon to find it mostly empty and Alfred nearly slams Arthur’s hand in the door. 

Up close Arthur can see how dry Alfred’s lips are, cracked and a freshly healed cut on the bottom left. He can see that his clothes aren’t fitting him well. They’re lose, suspenders tighter than they used to be. Even his cheeks had thinned; all Arthur could think about how round and soft they had always been even in the War. The shouts and arguments lose their merit when they’re constantly interrupted by fits of horrible, dry coughs.

Arthur is going through the cabinets until he finds glasses and gives the man water from the tap, which, he accepts with only mild protest.

It’s finally quiet and Arthur gives a pseudo apology for dropping by unexpectedly. He swears there’s no malice in his visit, just needed a holiday far, far from home and the mess Europe was in.

‘So mine’s better how?’ 

‘It’s not, it’s just further away and Matthew just so happened to mention you were in California. You know that I fancy the seaside.’

‘Go to him next time, sounds like you gave him more notice on you coming to my place than me.’

Matthew doesn’t know Arthur is even in North America.

They sit on the back deck together, sip water because he doesn’t keep tea in the house, and watch as people enjoy the last month of summer however they can on tight budgets. There’s a mother and daughter gathering bottles of saltwater to make salt and Alfred mentions he’s bought several from them and that Arthur should bring some home.

Arthur tries offering to treat Alfred to dinner to make up for the surprise visit but the man declines, saying it’ll just be a waste. He hasn’t been keeping food down well.

Arthur recalls his country’s own periods of starvation. How even though he felt as though his stomach was eating itself, he couldn’t keep food down or at the very least, keep hunger at bay for long.

Even just three years ago, he understood the feeling far too greatly.

Arthur takes this time to teach Alfred, how to make the most of his food, what he can make to mimic feeling full without spending much or eating all that much really, how to grow a variety of vegetables, and how to sew properly. Things that he hadn’t seen as ever teaching him as important as a young boy but were vital tools now. Alfred’s got all the right ideas, he wasn’t exactly being wasteful the past five years after all. He had developed his own methods and Arthur was only adding or improving. They fought and spat but with both of their economies tanked, neither one of them had enough energy for a real fight.

Arthur makes sure the boy has enough to eat, cooks him light meals and gives him tea instead of coffee to keep his caffeinated nerves at bay at least for a while. He’s by no means dotting on Alfred like he’s a young boy but it’s the most he’s been in “parent mode” for some time.

At the end of the week, Alfred had noticed a couple of things in Arthur’s bag that were souvenirs of the places he had stopped on his way out here. Arthur made a quiet remark that his trip wasn’t terrible and had a pleasant time all things considered. Alfred drives him down to Los Angeles, it’s a long way up to Vancouver but Arthur is looking forward to taking the Daylight Limited up the California coast followed a handful of other trains up to Washington state then lastly up into Vancouver by the Canadian on the Great Northern line. 

He still doesn’t like flying and it’s an expensive mess anyway.

The parting at Union Station is a little rough but still, one of the better ones they’ve had in years. A handshake, a pat on the shoulder, a keep your chin up and you’ll be fine. Alfred has lent him a few books to read on his way to Matt’s and actually says thank you for coming but please don’t do something like this again.

Arthur leaves in slightly good spirits and plays tourist in a few cities on his way up the Pacific coast. 

He actually sends Alfred postcards, which, the man has held onto to this very day.

[relaxxattack]

Someone's probably asked you this before but how long did it take you to plan out the plot for knifetrick? What did you do to come up with everything and do you have any tips for other writers who are struggling to put together their own fics?

after checking out my history lol,

it seems i did serious brainstorming and research for about a week before i started writing.

what happened first was that i had in my head the funny idea of ran failing to kill jackie and them getting tax-benefit married (to make ran feel guilty and admit his plot)

and once i realized i wanted to make it into an actual story, i had to change some of it and come up with plot and reasoning.

the first thing i did was ask my followers for song requests, lol. i asked specifically for “songs about futuristic settings or being married to/loving your assassination target”

i listened to a lot of that music to get my brain juices flowing. i had to put together a couple of Reasons for why things happened. i also knew i couldn’t just write the fic on the assassination alone, or else ran would have nothing to distract him and be the overarching plot, lol

the music helped me picture scenes and concepts. i then just jotted down a bunch of stuff i thought would be interesting to happen (possible scenes)

a couple thoughts on this image— for one you can see that i originally wanted to name my fic after a movie. i looked up ones where assassins grow endeared to their targets and fail to kill them. but i realized i didn’t want to name the fic after a movie in case it was controversial or something, so i ended up going for a song instead. ALSO, as you can tell, some of these points got dropped! again, this was just brainstorming for things i wanted to include

the next thing i did was ask for ranjack classpects, lol. for those unfamilliar with classpecting, it’s sort of like personality types for really sad nerds (/lh). aka, hogwarts houses but more complicated.

@dyketubbo wrote some INCREDIBLE classpects for ran and jackie. it was based off what we knew about their personalities (which wasn’t much) but it also helped us infer a lot MORE about their personalities by figuring out where they could go or how they probably think in their minds.

if you don’t know classpects you can probably do this with personality types. or, just, figure out your characters personality some Normal way. i wouldn’t know.

there was a lot more brainstorming i did (where i came up with ms. laramie, scoots, and clementine) and tried to come up with a basic plot of what would happen and what they would do. during this i did some research on a proper three-act story structure so my plot would hit just right.

during all of this, i watched a bunch of spy and futuristic flicks (not too intensely, just had them on in the background to absorb the vibes).

i then made a plot map once i figured i knew what was gonna happen

(the last few chapters are on the other side of the paper, so you don’t get to see them haha)

a lot of this stuff got switched around or dropped completely as i was writing. honestly, the details don’t matter too much— the FLOW of the story is what’s important.

i’m very flexible with my scenes— literally what happens in a chapter is completely up in the air until i FINISH the chapter. sometimes they’re entirely different from my original ideas. it’s not too important to me what exactly happens, as long as it makes sense and i like it and it fits in with the rest.

in my mind, the events themselves are not as impressive as the characters in them. as long as i’m still developing the characters the way i need to throughout the story, and they eventually get to the plot points i need them to, i don’t worry too much about the specifics! as long as they’re fun.

i also didnt write chapter-by-chapter— i mapped the plot first, and then drew little dividing lines where i thought it would be good to end the chapter after. chapters are useful to me as pacing tools, but i didnt want the plot to seem too episodic by Planning it as chapters.

after i wrote the plot map, i did research on deserts, cities, and fantasy politics for DAYS. (i also watched videos on how fantasy militaries should work.) i ended up not using most of that information i came up with, but the parts that do leak through into my current writing do wonders to make the world feel real and alive. each character has a personality and a life, they aren’t just there to be background characters for ran and jackie.

then, i re-read a few books by authors who really inspire me. to get their narration voice fresh in my mind and feel really inspired

eventually we got to where we are now— i write the chapters and i post them!

as i’ve mentioned, i’m very flexible with my plot— so while i’ve foreshadowed certain things since the beginning, some parts of the story have only come perfectly together towards the end. and i have @shrugofgod to thank for that!

my wonderful editor is always willing to chat with me about what scenes and bits work and are most satisfying story-wise. of course lyssie also EDITS my chapters after they’re drafted — to make them more polished, and also ask me questions about things that are going on to clarify them.

many thanks to lyssie shrugofgod for making the story so much better :D

because my chapters have a tendency to get away from me and do whatever they want, if there’s certain plot things i need to hit in a chapter, i’ll outline the chapter before i write it.

also, recently, (after coming up with one too many REALLY COOL scenes and lines in my head while cleaning, but then completely forgetting them later) i’ve implemented a protocol for myself to jot down anything that comes to mind WHEN it happens so i don’t forget.

these are unprofessional and have spelling errors and all that, because i just wrote them really quickly, often while doing the dishes or laundry, lol.

so in conclusion:

um yeah that’s how i write knifetrick! i’ve never done this much work for any other fic though, so don’t feel like YOU have to. i did so much research for knifetrick because it was very out of my wheelhouse.

at most all i think is necessary for a good story is a plot map, and a hell of a lot of inspiration. (i got mine from music, movies, books, and drawing ran and jackie a lot, haha!)

make sure you’re having fun with your plot. writing won’t always be fun, but you should at least like your PLOT. because if you don’t then you won’t be inspired or enjoy it at all!

[thechekhov]

You got bad crits takes on your comic to show us??? 👀🍿

Haha... alright, I’ll share ONE. 

Because this person pestered me a ridiculous amount and it escalated to unbelievable heights of entitlement. 

It started with them just commenting on the comic on Tapas and begging me not to do [plot point] because they personally found it unappealing. Which is fine, in and of itself. If they don’t like it, that’s understandable. However, it didn’t fit with what I wanted the story to be, so I decided to simply not reply. I figured if they were disappointed with the way I wrote something, they would go off to seek greener pastures. 

Alas, it was not so.

Eventually, after weeks of me not replying (as I generally don’t, given how little time I have) they sent this message directly to my tapas profile:

When I once again refused, this time directly, by telling them that this is MY story, so I’ll write it how I want, they didn’t reply... and then hit me with this incredible gem directly in the comments of the comic itself (you can probably still find it if you go looking)

This was after making 5 different comments demanding I change my story to not make the plot point (which had already been decided long beforehand, and revealed in the FAQ) happen. 

Anyway.

This instance is funny because it’s nonsensical. 

Other critiques have been a little bit odd - some people want me to make the story ten times longer in order to give the show ‘the proper treatment it deserved’, others still want me to make a fanfiction that serves THEIR needs (whether it be for fanservice of a character they love, or just their own utter inability to write fanfiction that they then smear all over other people they feel are entitled to work on their behalf). Others still want me to deliberately kill off Rose because they think it would make it better... the list goes on. 

The amount of things people are willing to say after the words ‘you should’ without giving any reasoning as to why I would personally care for their fanfiction ideas is astounding. 

Ironically enough, for a show that was all about people NOT living to embody their work without having their own aspirations, many of the fans seem to have completely forgotten that creators are people too, not just Pearls that are waiting to dance a jig for them. 

To make it clear: I’m not against people criticizing my work in the general sense. Sometimes I’ll get comments from people who disagree with my direction, or the tone of something, or the way I am timing things. Which is fine - I only rarely agree with their opinion, but I can still respect their ability to have one WITHOUT demanding something from me personally. The fact that I put my work out there and seek public opinion means I’ll... get public opinion. 

But it’s one thing to have an opinion on something and another to take that opinion and break into my house and force me to eat it while yelling ‘HOW DARE YOU NOT CATER TO ME, AND ME SPECIFICALLY!?!?’

So do what you will, kids, but remember - I’m not contractually obligated to care. 

[wishesunderthestars]

I don’t know if you’re gonna answer this, but I have a few questions in regards of writing.

I always read a lot but I never had the ambition of writing anything. However, before I even knew it I already had a plot figured out (I won’t say I have planned every detail but 90% of the storyline is ready) and it’s been YEARS since I realized I had a whole universe sitting in a corner of my brain but I just can’t write. I’ve tried multiple times, either the characters feelings are not shown in a proper way or the description of the scene is horrible. I wonder if I’m being too perfectionist, it’s just that it doesn’t happen fluidly as I feel it should. I even have a Pinterest for inspiration, did not help (I still add a lot of pins though hahaha). And on top of everything, I’m in university now and working a part time job so time is everything I don’t have. 

I know you’re also a very busy person, and I cannot imagine how you still manage to write cause as you can see I could never lol. And I know that every writer has their own method as well, but do you think I should figure every single detail out, decide what will happen in each chapter and then try to write? Or try again with less self criticism idk haha. Also, how do you balance the description of things like places, clothes, characters and their feelings? Do you think (as a reader and a writer) that the place should always be descripted or there are times that are not important?

(I forgot half of the questions I had while I made this rant and will not wait until I remember cause I'm anxious but I just want to let you know that Eunoia is a masterpiece and I love every single line that you wrote)

Okay, I remembered to mention that it revolves around a lot of grief and other intense feelings that I swear I can feel myself but have no idea how to even begin to put in words without being repetitive, incredibly boring and unconvincing.

The second part of this question wasn't sent on anon but I'm pretty sure that it's from the same person. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Now, to answer your questions. What I think you're suffering from is a bad case of perfectionism and I can tell because I suffer from it too. Daily. It significantly slows down my progress and I haven't figured out how to combat it yet. I would suggest writing a very rough draft at first just telling the story to yourself. Write all the scenes you want to write, everything you have pictured, and not get too critical about it. Just get the story out. When you finish it you can see what worked and what didn't. Rereading it you might find that some parts are actually really good and don't need much editing. Personally, I write one chapter at a time because it would take ages to finish the story but that also depends on if you're writing fanfiction or a book you want to publish.

And I don't think it's necessary have every detail figured out when writing, some things just come naturally when writing. But again, that depends on you and what works best for you. For me, I have a general outline and before I write each chapter, I list the scenes that I want to include. An example from Chapter 21 of Eunoia is:

Mc and Namjoon discuss what they mean to each other and what they want from each other. Also the boy her mother wants to set her up with. She turns down the invitation.

Taylor shows up to congratulate her with cake and the mc panics a little. She talks to Taylor and she is understanding

Jimin makes a flower crown and places it on Taehyung's head.

etc

This is taken directly from my notes and that's usually the level of detail I include when I'm outlining each chapter. And often I add new scenes when I'm writing or change the plan for some of them or move them around.

Balancing descriptions is hard and I don't think it's something I've mastered. Each writer is unique in how much description they add. There are best seller books that the descriptions are minimal and then there is J.R.R. Tolkien who could write ten pages about a rock.

Describing the place isn't always necessary in the sense that you don't need to dedicate a whole paragraph to it. Sometimes just referencing where they are is enough, like the park or a clothing store. The reader can imagine what that looks like. Also, if you have described that place before you don't need to describe it again. But describing places can set the atmosphere and the tone of the scene. You can sprinkle in single lines of description throughout the scene.

Again, just write the words as they come and you can edit them later. You don't have to write long paragraphs about the characters' feelings. And it's okay to repeat some things a couple of times. Just take a look at how repetitive some things in Eunoia are.

[well-in-all-honesty-i]

TW: Suicide

OKAY SO- I wanted to talk about Mafuyu and Yuki’s relationship and why it ended the way it did. I should preface this by saying that the majority of this, although somewhat supported by canon, is my own personal headcanon and speculation. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of people who I believe Yuki to be similar to, but I am not 100% accurate or well versed and this is mostly just from what I’ve gotten from those situations. Also, a lot of questionable grammar-I type like I speak, which doesn't translate well haha.

So I want to chunk this into 3 big pieces because I enjoy organizing things: Yuki’s childhood, how that affected his personality as a young adult, and how both of these lead to his eventual death.

Starting off with his childhood:

This one is heavy speculation (as most of this is-but this bit is particularly so) since there isn’t much canon to support this-or provide a lot of insight. But, what little we do know is that 1) Yuki’s father wasn’t present in his life-probably even before Mafuyu’s father had been jailed-and that, 2) Yuki and his father shared the same bull-headedness (?) and pride that Saeko believes led to his death.

I personally believe that Yuki’s father was someone who might have struggled with some sort of mental illness, as well as has had a problem with alcohol abuse. I also imagine that he probably disappeared or passed-either due to some sort of alcohol-related problem or suicide.

Saeko, from how she is characterized in the story, seems to be a very strong-willed and assertive person. In the aftermath of Yuki’s death, she's relatively composed and seems to have almost expected this to happen, although maybe not in the specific way it did. [Ex: When she tells Mafuyu that Yuki was always the type of person to die in a chicken race (a competition of pride, of sorts, that usually ends badly) and when she mentions him being similar to his father in that sense.]

In the flashbacks in the anime, when Mafuyu tells Yuki that his father beats him when he talks, Yuki’s response of ‘You know, a real father doesn’t do that.’ doesn’t sound like something a small child’s first response would be. It’s a bit of a reach-but considering that, as well as how prompt the response from his mother seemed to be (when Mafuyu’s father was jailed-not much time seems to have passed, and since both of their mothers are present, I've always assumed that Yuki's mother found out through her son and acted accordingly.),- it would make sense that Yuki might have some prior experience with this. Especially if his mother had gone through something similar-she probably would’ve warned him very strongly against the ideal his father had set, making Yuki want to be very far from that.

Speaking of which-I assume that Yuki probably had a very rough-if short-lived-relationship with his father when he was around. Given the stuff above, his father was probably someone who was emotionally volatile and tended to lose control when upset. If he had an alcohol problem, he might’ve caused a financial strain that fell onto Saeko as well.

Since his father was out of the picture and Saeko herself wasn't around as much as Yuki might've needed, it would have made him both very independent from his parents and adults in general, while also heavily reliant on Mafuyu (Hiiragi quotes both Mafuyu and Yuki to have been latchkey kids who found comfort in each other), both of which twist into the situation he found himself in later in life.

Leading into his teen years:

Yuki, as a young adult, is very independent-he works multiple jobs to pay for the expenses of being in a band, makes a point to avoid drinking, and is very affectionate towards Mafuyu. I'm not too sure about the reasoning behind why the four friends chose the high schools they did, but if Yuki's mother didn't directly influence that decision it's likely it was a choice made in direct relation to their band.

There's also very little interference from any adults in Yuki's life-namely, his mother. As someone who was probably very busy working as a single mother to support the two of them, her mentality was just to support him monetarily and let Mafuyu provide the emotional support in her place.

I think she also assumed her attempts wouldn't have been well received-most people noted how close Yuki and Mafuyu were and seemed to always assume that they had each other handled and that nobody had to worry about either of them because of it. In every way, it was simply easier to show Yuki she cared by not interfering and letting him hold the reigns of his own life.

A big indicator of this idea for me what when Saeko talked about how Yuki ordered his own ramen, the type he liked. It's a small thing, but it started me to read because it highlighted the amount of input his mother had on his life; which was very little. I don't know if he even used her money or chose to use the extra from his jobs to pay for it, but either way, it sort of put their relationship into perspective.

The impact it had:

Yuki probably had a lot of resentment towards his father, or, at the very least, a desire to turn out different. And oftentimes when a person is very strongly trying to avoid turning out like someone, they ignore or avoid acknowledging the similarities, rather than accepting and working on them to properly change. Without a strong parental/adult figure in his life, he wouldn't have considered insight beyond his own experiences. He's characterized to be moody and domineering, and Mafuyu is too soft-spoken to have brought up most issues until it reached its boiling point.

I believe Yuki might have had Borderline Personality Disorder to a mild extent. Some symptoms of BPD are mood swings, impulsivity, impaired social relationships, and a distorted self-image. They usually have thoughts of suicide or self-harming tendencies. When they feel insecure in relationships, in which they’re usually very, very invested, they tend to lash out or do rash things to keep them close.

Based on my relationships with the borderline people in my life, I've noticed that they usually bounce between having great confidence in themselves, to being incredibly insecure. It's hard to explain specifically, but they walk a fine line of being insecure and also maintaining a painfully strong ego, which makes them react very strongly when provoked, intentionally or not. Yuki and Mafuyu have a different type of relationship than I do with those people in my life which, for the two of them, means that Mafuyu probably had to provide lots of emotional support for Yuki, while also under the mild threat of Yuki coming to harm by his own actions.

Being with someone with these tendencies who is also unaware of them is very draining, especially for someone as mild and soft-spoken as Mafuyu is. Yuki tended to lead their relationship and was probably very noticeable when upset-and for someone who might not be used to speaking up or someone who has low self-confidence, it is difficult to bring up things. It doesn't feel safe if you don't know exactly how it would be received. Especially if they are the person you are closest to, it can be anxiety-inducing to try and bring up problems that don't seem to be incredibly important or unavoidable.

So, long story short-Yuki was closed off to receiving any kind of proper advice or criticism that would've saved him. Another symptom of BPD, as mentioned before, is suicidal ideation. So, if all these things are combined, it's a lot easier to see how he, surrounded by only his thoughts and ideas, would make the choice to take his own life when provoked.

It wasn't specifically that Mafuyu had caused his death, but more that he just sent him over the edge he had been teetering on for a long while. He was like his father in the sense that they had the same flaws that just came from different places. Yuki's pride came from the flip side of his insecurities and his own early independence, and his mental health issues as a whole are probably hereditary. The specificities of his death, where Yuki drinks after avoiding alcohol for his entire life, feels like he failed in his effort to avoid being like his father. He was different as a person but in the end, their flaws aligned and brought them to their end in parallels to each other.

Calling back to what his mom said-it doesn't feel unexpected. It is shocking, but not a surprise. Yuki was fiercely independent and wanted to learn and do new things, all on his own-including his own death and whatever follows after.

[I wrote this a while back and didn’t really like how most of it was speculation and hard to prove-but decided to post it anyway because I spent too much time on it lol.

Like I said before, most of this is just my head canons, but I hope it made sense! Feel free to add on with your stuff/arguments/headcanons :)]

[stitch1830]

1-15 Kantoph. (Did you really think I wouldn't do it?)

I'm kidding. Kantoph for #11 please!

Krast tryna overwhelm me with Kantoph asks and it's working!

Lmao jk jk, I'm gonna see if we naturally get all 15 Kantoph asks, but I'll probably end up doing them all at some point 0-0. But for yours, I did a bit of a spin on this quote because I got this idea from one of our conversations with the Kantoph group way back when and it's been in my mind rent free for a few days. Still, hope you enjoy it! :)

Also, here's a story I wrote with basically the same quote for Kantoph haha. In case you were feeling deprived of Kantoph fluff.

......

Kantoph - #11 - “Let’s go, I’ll buy you dinner. And maybe breakfast.”

After spending months away from Republic City, Sokka was ready for the boat to dock. Spirits, it had been ages since he’d seen his friends, it actually made his heart ache.

But he was home now, and that was all that mattered.

He expected the whole lot of them to be waiting for him at the docks at the crack of dawn, but only Aang was there. Perhaps the warrior was a little disappointed. After all, his friends weren’t graced with his presence for months as well… He thought Toph and Kanto would be there at least.

When he landed on the dock and gathered his belongings, Aang flew into his arms, basically knocking everything out of his hands.

“Buddy! You’re back!” Aang exclaimed. “How was home? How was the Fire Nation?” “Everything is good! Family is good, just been wondering the same about you guys here,” Sokka replied.

“Oh! Yeah, lots has changed, I’ll let Toph and Kanto tell you everything. They should be at home, but I’ve got to run. Duty calls!” With that, Aang flew away before Sokka even had time to really respond.

“Oh—okay. Bye, Aang,” he said, surprised by the abruptness of it all. But, he made his way to Toph’s place, hoping to receive an even warmer welcome from his two best friends.

When he approached the door, Sokka heard a commotion, a muffled yell or a borderline shrill of his best friend in the whole world. The door flew open before he could even knock, and a wall crashed into him. “Sokka! You’re home!” Toph exclaimed.

Sokka grinned from ear to ear. “I am!”

Toph only released her grip so that Kanto could hug him, his embrace as tight and crushing as Toph’s. “Good to see you, buddy!”

“Glad to be home, that’s for sure!” he grinned. When Kanto let go of Sokka and stood next to Toph, Sokka asked, “So what’s up, you guys?? Aang had to ditch me at the docks but he said you guys had new—woah!”

Toph and Kanto laughed at Sokka’s shock, but in his defense, his surprise was warranted.

Because when he finally took a second to actually look at his friends, he saw Kanto with the biggest, most crooked grin he’d ever seen, and Toph positively glowing, her belly showing even through her loose-fitted shirt.

His mouth was still open as he stuttered, “You—a—a baby!”

Toph laughed. “Yeah, a baby. Thanks for putting it so eloquently, too.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“We found out just after you left, and Toph and I really wanted to tell you in person,” Kanto explained. “But yeah, Baby Beifong due by the start of winter.”

“A baby,” Sokka marveled again. His best friends were having a baby, and he couldn’t have been happier for them. Their lives were going to change, hopefully for the better, but still. This was a big change!

Then the panic set in for the warrior. His hands flew to his face as he cried out, “Oh spirits, my best friends are having a baby! I’m so not ready for this.”

“You don’t need to be ready for jack shit, doofus,” Toph teased.

“Still!” he persisted. “This is a big responsibility! What if I’m not cut out for it??”

“Okay bro,” Kanto said as he stifled a laugh. “You’ve been traveling a lot today. Let’s go get some food before you go crazy. I’ll buy breakfast.”

“Or is it dinner for you?” Toph asked, smirking.

As if on cue, Sokka’s stomach growled. Spirits, he hadn’t had a proper meal that whole trip back to the city, and he was only starting to notice now. “I’ll take breakfast, lunch, and dinner, please,” he replied.

Toph gave Sokka a swift punch to the shoulder. “There’s the Meathead we know and love.”

The three of them laughed as they walked into the city, ready to catch up on food and conversation.

......

Send me prompts for ATLA ships!

[immerlein]

I see that some Christian women like to cover their hair, particularly the Orthodox women on your page, what is the significance of this? I find it beautiful and I’m thinking of wearing my headscarves like that as well.

Hi there! Thank you very much for this question; this is probably my favourite thing to talk about (if my #headscarf tag didn’t give that away, haha).  Wearing a headscarf/headcovering in church and in prayer is an ancient and traditional Christian practice. It is mentioned throughout the Bible:

1.) The priest shall stand the woman before the Lord, uncover the woman’s head, and put the offering for remembering in her hands (Numbers 5:18)  (her head must have been covered for this to make sense) 2.) Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; for she had said to the servant, “Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took a veil and covered herself. (Genesis 24:64-65) 3.)  Now Susanna was exceeding delicate, and beautiful to behold. But those wicked men commanded that her face should be uncovered, (for she was covered,) that so at least they might be satisfied with her beauty. Therefore her friends and all her acquaintance wept. (The Story of Susanna / Daniel 13:31-33)

And, most famously:

4.) Now I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things and keep the traditions just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, for that is one and the same as if her head were shaved. For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it is shameful for a woman to be shorn or shaved, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God. (1 Corinthians 11)

Our Church Fathers write of headcovering, saying: “The angels are present here... Open the eyes of faith and look upon this sight. For if the very air is filled with angels, how much more so the Church! ...Hear the Apostle teaching this, when he bids the women to cover their heads with a veil because of the presence of the angels.” - St John Chrysostom, referring to St Paul’s writing in Corinthians.  Origen said, “There are angels in the midst of our assembly...we have here a twofold Church, one of men, the other of angels...And since there are angels present...women, when they pray, are ordered to have a covering upon their heads because of those angels. They assist the saints and rejoice in the Church.” Instructions for catechumens in The Apostolic Tradition, by St. Hippolytus of Rome, include this: “Moreover, let all the women have their heads veiled with a scarf...” And St. Cyril of Alexandria, commenting on I Corinthians, wrote: “The angels find it extremely hard to bear if this law [that women cover their heads] is disregarded.”

I should probably mention now how this passage in Corinthians can be taken to mean that women are ‘inferior’ to men in some way, and that is what the covering represents. I won’t pretend that there aren’t people who might think this is the case, however, if we look at the Greek translation of “for this reason, the woman should have a symbol of authority of her head, because of the angels” we find the word “exousia”, which means “right/power/authority”. “Exousia” is also used in John 1:12: “As many as received Him, to them He gave exousia to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.” The headcovering is not a sign of a man’s authority over the woman, rather it is an outward sign of her own authority/right/power as a woman.  Another question you might be asking yourself is “why would angels care???”  To borrow from orthodoxinfo.com: “In her book, The Holy Angels, Mother Alexandra writes: “The Celestial hierarchies are the spiritual reality of ordered creation, the stable patterns in which disruption is unknown...” Obedience is characteristic of the angelic realm.”

In Orthodoxy we recognise nine orders/ hierarchies of celestial beings, arranged in three choirs. 

“Seraphim and cherubim are in the first, archangels and angels in the third choir, closest to us. Without obedience there is chaos and disorder. St. John Chrysostom, in a sermon on I Corinthians, speaks of how distinction in male and female dress—and particularly the veiling of women—“ministers effectively to good order among mankind.” Taking off the veil was “no small error,” said St. John; ”...it is disobedience.” It “disturbs all things and betrays the gifts of God, and casts to the ground the honor bestowed...For to [the woman] it is the greatest of honor to preserve her own rank.” To some who argued that a woman, by taking off her covering, “mounts up to the glory of man,” Chrysostom answers: “She doth not mount up, but rather falls from her own proper honor...Since not to abide within our own limits and the laws of God, but to go beyond, is not an addition, but a diminution...” Always emphasizing the equality between man and woman, Chrysostom admonishes the man “not to dishonor her who governs next to thyself.” The issue was order, not superiority or inferiority. At Matins for Orthodoxy Sunday, we sing, “Come and let us celebrate a day of joy: Now heaven makes glad! Earth with all the hosts of angels and the companies of mortal men, each in their varied order, keeps the feast.” “ - from orthodoxinfo.com

Fr. Basil Rhodes wrote in his Master of Divinity thesis in 1977 on the veiling of women in I Cor. 11 “Man is the head of the woman, according to Genesis and to St. Paul who compares the relationship of man and woman with that of the Son to the Father: ‘And the head of Christ is God’ (I Cor. 2:3). It would be a grave error to say that Christ is inferior to His Father.”  (it would be heresy!) 

Timothy McFadden writes: “Members of the Godhead—and His image—are not interchangeable. As God Father and Son are equal and One in nature, so also they are unique and not interchangeable. Similarly, though equal in nature, man is not woman, woman is not man. They are distinguishable.” - from orthodoxinfo.com

I posted about it a little while ago, but I also heard another interpretation of “because of the angels” on the Ancient Faith radio podcast called The Lord of Spirits. They linked it back to sexual immortality between humanity and spiritual beings, so not only do you need to cover to be modest among human beings, you also need to because angels might, I don’t know, be tempted by you? (The context of the passage was essentially around pagan converts to Christianity and explaining how Christian worship was not sexual/did and does not contain ritualistic sex.) @hymnsofheresy added some additional commentary from her classes: “1 Corinthians 11:4 specifies that covering is especially required when a woman is prophesying. In Hellenistic temples, it was understood that prophecy could result in a sexual encounter with spiritual beings. Veiling in church while prophesying was a way of preventing women from having sexual intercourse with (or being raped by) an angel. Angel theology at the time was heavily influenced by the Book of Enoch, and it was likely that many people saw angels as sexually capable beings who desired human women.”  I have absolutely zero idea how much this (if at all) influenced the continued practice of Christian women covering their heads in church/during prayer, but it is certainly fascinating to think about nevertheless. 

For me, on a personal level, I wear a headscarf as an outward sign of respect for holy spaces and holy practices, to help myself focus on prayer, as an imitation of the Theotokos (and other women saints), for modesty, because I respect the tradition, and largely simply because I like them! At my parish, they’re required if you want to partake of the Holy Mysteries (communion, confession, etc) but I’ve also been in Orthodox parishes that don’t require it (though perhaps encourage it). An old friend of mine once told me how his priest said that women are lucky to have a covering/protection to be sheltered by as they approach the Holy Chalice for communion, because it is SO holy and men have no such shroud. I thought that was pretty interesting too! 

I hope this is helpful to you! Please feel free to ask more if you need to :)