#shout out 2 ellie for the link

[atouchofsass]

feeling SOME TYPE OF WAY (source)

[strangerscallmegray]

Are we the Same, Pt. 3

Okay yeah, I wrote this over the weekend and I hope you will like it. I don't know whether the characters are OOC or not because I haven't even watched it yet lmaoo. Imagine writing a fanfic over something you haven't even watched.

Link to Pt. 2

Also, my first language is not English so pls don't kill me.

Warnings: Blood and Gun-shot Wound.

Word Count: 1390 words

Joel had not expected this to take an ugly turn, it was supposed to be simple patrol job, your everyday work so he had taken you along with him. If he knew it would turn out like this, he’d never have asked you to tag along. You were resting at home today with Ellie, it was a holiday when you had heard Joel’s voice ring out “Kid, get ready, we’re going patrolling.”

You were shocked to say the least, he had never called you out for a patrol by himself in the past two years. You jumped up and eagerly got ready in your excitement, you missed the smile Joel had on his face.

“I’m ready, Dad!”

You hopped after your dad like a little kid on Christmas. Joel realised that he only needed to understand where you’re coming from and everything would be solved. He felt very positive. They had joined the others and had begun to go on your regular trail. You were right behind him.

All of a sudden, they heard a scream from Tess who was standing in the front and there were some robbers, good for nothing robbers. They had heavy equipment in their hand, they seemed to be well prepared. They were here for something clearly and it seemed like they had planned it out for weeks.

Instinctively Joel pushed you behind him. They had jumped Tess and hit her with a club, she had fallen down unconscious or rather, that is what you hoped. You were peeking from above Joel’s shoulder. Soon, everybody was fighting. You were desperate to go look at Tess and make sure she’s okay.

Joel grabbed you by your shoulders, you looked up at him and never had you felt more like a child. He was crouching down a little. You didn’t have the best height, at least not at 16.

“Run.” He said, he had a wild desperation in his eyes.

“Run and go home, make sure Ellie is okay too. Just get out of here.” He said, shaking you a little. You nodded furiously, not knowing what else to do. He nodded at you and turned to join the fight.

You knew that you had told your dad you’d go home but how could you? How could you just leave your dad and head home? Even if you wanted to, your legs would not obey your command and stayed firmly planted in that place. As you felt a bullet stream past you, you were jolted to reality and you quickly hid behind a rock and silently watched.

You watched as your dad stood in front of Tess and fought with them. He had even successfully killed one of them. There were five of them and four of you. Your uncle, Tommy had also managed to kill one of the robbers. For all you know, they could be rogue FEDRA officials dressed as robbers to get your supplies or they could be infected. As you were watching the scene, your eyes suddenly shifted to a rock behind Dad and you saw that one of the robbers was taking an aim at Joel.

You panicked and flung to action. “Dad!” you ran to him and crashed into him sending you both to ground. The robber had taken his shot. There was a ringing in your ear and everything felt muted. You saw that the guy attacking dad was dead. ‘Oh good’ you thought, ‘the bullet must have got him’.

Slowly, as you recovered your senses, you realised that you were half on top of Joel. You got up.

“Dad! Dad, are you okay?” you asked, still panicked, holding Joel by the shoulders and checking him over for injuries. But you saw that Joel’s eyes were not focused, he was looked down and it seemed like he had gone as white as a sheet.

“Dad!” You shouted again, shaking him a little. He looked at you and again looked down, you followed his sight and you finally realised what he was staring at. Your right-side abdomen was gushing blood. Your white shirt had taken a shade of red. The bullet had gone through you and hit the other robber.

The realisation, the pain suddenly hit you as the adrenaline wore off. Your hand slid off of Joel’s shoulder’s and you slowly touched your abdomen. You cried out in pain. Joel was up in an instant, holding you.

“Y/N!” He laid you down and put pressure on your wound as you cried out.

“Don’t you worry, you’ll be as good as new, yeah?” he said and you didn’t know whom he was convincing more.

Tommy and the others had dealt with the other robbers and Tommy came rushing over to you.

“Oh my God.” He said kneeling down.

Joel had tears in his eyes. He was not losing you today.

“Why the hell did you jump, kid!?” he asked through his tears.

“He was…. he was going to kill you.” You nearly whispered. You could feel the energy leave your body as you fainted.

“NO! No, Kid, wake up!” Joel shouted. He knew he had to get you to medical attention but he seemed to be frozen. Tommy kicked into action. He asked the others to bring Tess, meanwhile he and Joel half carried you to the hospital.

It had been hours and hours of waiting which was nothing but pure agony for Joel. He kept replaying the moment in his head and why you had jumped in front of him. He was an old man; you had your entire life ahead of you and he didn’t think he’d be able to survive losing you.

Ellie was by his side; she had not said a word either.

“It was not your fault, you know.” She said quietly. He looked up at her sharply.

“I know you’ve been thinking it and no, it’s not your fault, he would have gone to the patrol in a minute had he known it was happening with or without your consent.”

He took a deep breath and did not reply her for a long time.

“Ellie, I cannot survive losing him. I’ve harboured this guilt for so long of not looking after him properly when Sarah died and I know he blames me for it. No parent should ever live to see their kids die, it is something beyond imaginable Ellie and I hope you will never know what that feels like.” He said uncharacteristically quiet and candid.

Ellie thought about what he said for some time. Never before had Joel shared so much with her and she was treasuring it. However, she also knew how you felt. You were like a brother to her and you had come about to sharing things with her and you were the only one who did not treat her like a kid. She had always appreciated that.

“Oh Joel, he thinks you hate him for Sarah.” She blurted out unable to say anything else. She continued before he could interrupt. “He thinks you blame him for Sarah’s death and that it would have been better if he had died instead that night and that is why he’s been trying to prove to you ever since! He wants to help so that others don’t end up like Sarah.”

Joel fell into deep thought. You thought he hated you? Oh my god. How could he ever hate you. You were a kind kid always, since before Sarah was even born. He had never weighed the lives of his children and wished for one to survive over the other. Of course, he would have been more than happy to have both his children alive and well but now since, Sarah was gone, never had he wished that you had died instead, it didn’t work like that. If you had died that night, he would just be in the same situation as he is now, with Sarah. Is that why you were so reckless? Why you kept risking your life so much? As if it had no value whereas it was the very reason why he woke up every day, why he lived through the day and pushed it to the next one. He needed to make you understand and resolved that he would do it if it’s the last thing he did.

Teehee, I hope you liked it, let me know!

[dinas-a-bird]

A Rocky Start - 2

Pairing: Ellie Williams x fem!reader

Warnings: jealous!Ellie, nice!Ellie, drinking, frat party, reader being attracted to and flirting with a man (briefly), modern college AU, Ellie is handsome because I say so

Summary: You start college and meet your roommate, Ellie Williams.

Word Count: 1,525

one three four

A/N: Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, there will probably be two more shortish chapters unless I decide to combine them.

Over the next few weeks, you slowly settle into college life. Classes become more routine, and you start to make friends with some of the people in your dorm. Ellie is still distant at times, but you notice that she's become more talkative and less hostile.

One night, as you're studying at your desk, Ellie comes in and flops down on her bed with a sigh. "What's up?" you ask.

She groans. "I have a huge paper due next week, and I haven't even started on it yet. I'm so fucking screwed."

You look up from your notes. "What's the paper over?"

"Philosophy of Science," she says, rolling her eyes. "It's so boring. I don't know how I'm going to get through it."

You nod stifling a laugh, "Yeah, I hate those kinds of papers. Have you tried to see a tutor?"

Ellie shakes her head. "I don't want to seem like an idiot. Besides, it's my fault for waiting so long to start on it."

You pause for a moment before speaking. "Well, if you want, I could take a look at it and help you out. I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty good at writing papers."

Ellie looks surprised but then nods. "Really? That would be fuckin awsome. Thank you."

You smile, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Maybe you could help Ellie out and show her that you're not just some random roommate. You spend the next few hours going over her paper, making suggestions and edits, and helping her refine her arguments.

As you work, Ellie starts to open up about herself. You learn that she's from a small town in Wyoming called Jackson, and her adoptive parents are both ranchers. She was always interested in space, and her dad, Joel, used to take her out stargazing when she was a kid.

After a few more hours of working, you both finish the paper, and Ellie looks relieved. "Thank you so much," she says, giving you a small side hug. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

You hug her back, feeling a sense of warmth. Maybe Ellie wasn't so bad after all. As you both sit back down at your desks, you smile. Maybe you could help each other out and make this year a little easier.

Ellie walks into your dorm room, practically bouncing with excitement. "Hey, you wanna come to a party with me tonight?" she asks, her eyes sparkling.

You glance up from your textbook, slightly surprised. "What kind of party?"

"A frat party," she replies, grinning from ear to ear. "My friends, Jesse and Dina, they invited us. It’ll be fun."

You hesitate, feeling a bit apprehensive about the idea of going to a party with a bunch of strangers. But then you realize that you are in college and this was the perfect time to let loose and enjoy yourself. "Sure, why not?" you conclude with a shrug.

Ellie smiles and immediately starts rummaging through her closet, pulling out a white tee, worn black jeans and a nice belt. "You should wear something cute," she suggests, leaning down to collect her signature converse off the ground.

You raise your eyebrows, feeling your cheeks heat up at her suggestion but quickly change into your nicest outfit anyway and follow Ellie out of the dorm. Jesse and Dina are already waiting for you outside, and you can tell from the way they were giggling that they were already a bit tipsy. "You guys look hooot," Dina slurs, giving Ellie a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Dina then links arms with you and begins leading the way to the frat house, swaying a little as she walks. "Let's go get fucking drunk," Jesse chuckles from his spot beside Ellie.

As you approach the frat house, you can already hear the music blasting and the sound of people shouting and laughing. You feel a little intimidated by the sheer number of people, but Ellie seemed right at home, bouncing from group to group and introducing you to her friends.

After a few drinks, you start to loosen up and dance with Ellie, feeling the beat of the music pulsing through your veins. You bump into people and spill your drinks, but it didn't matter because you were having so much fun.

At one point, Jesse and Dina disappeared, leaving you and Ellie to dance together. "Glad I could get you to loosen up a bit," she yelled over the music, grinning from ear to ear.

You nodded in agreement, feeling the heat of the alcohol warming your cheeks. "Says your tight ass," you giggle watching as Ellie chuckles at the comment.

Ellie pulls you in for a hug, her breath hot on your neck. "I’m glad we came," she says. "You’re not that bad of a roommate."

You hug her back, smiling. "You too," you say, feeling your stomach flutter from her breath on your neck.

As the night wore on, the party got wilder, and the music became louder. You and Ellie were still dancing, swaying to the beat, and cheering with the rest of the crowd. You could feel the bass thumping in your chest, and you were both laughing and shouting to be heard over the noise.

Suddenly, Ellie grabs your hand and pulls you towards a group of guys who were standing near a keg. "Hey, guys," she says, slurring her words a little. "This is my roommate."

One of the guys, a tall blond guy with a chiseled jaw, grins at you. "Hey, I'm Jack," he says, holding out his hand. "You're Ellie's roommate? She's been talking about you all night."

You shake his hand, feeling a little self-conscious. "Nice to meet you, I'm..."

"Her name is y/n," Ellie interrupts, putting her arm around your shoulders. "She's the best."

Jack smiles at you again, and you feel your heart skip a beat. He was definitely cute, and you can feel a blush creeping up your cheeks. "So, you guys want a drink?" he asks, gesturing towards the keg.

You and Ellie both nod eagerly, and he hands you each a red solo cup filled to the brim with beer. You take a sip, it wasn’t the best but it still warmed your belly.

You found yourself gravitating towards Jack as the night wore on, drawn in by his easy smile and the way he made you feel. You talked about everything from your classes to your hometowns, and you laughed together over the silly things that happened at the party.

Ellie is standing by the keg watching as Jack leans in closer to you, laughing at whatever dumb thing he said. She feels a pang of jealousy and a scowl crosses her face for a brief moment. She had been crushing on you since the first day you met, even if she didn’t show it, and the thought of you being interested in someone else made her feel uneasy.

A time later you notice Ellie standing apart from the group, her arms crossed and a slight scowl on her face. "Hey, El, what's up?" you ask, walking up to her, you notice her mood shift.

She shrugs, looking away from you. "Nothing, just getting tired of watching you flirt with Jack, we were supposed to hang out," she mutters.

You were taken aback, not sure what to say. "I'm not flirting with him, we're just talking, and I've been with you for most of the night." you protest.

Ellie rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say," she says, storming off towards the dance floor.

You exchange a worried glance with Jack, a sense of unease settles in your stomach. You didn't want to hurt Ellie's feelings, but you also didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to get to know Jack better.

As the night continued, you tried to balance spending time with both Ellie and Jack, but it was clear that Ellie was getting more and more frustrated with each passing moment. Eventually, you decide to call it a night, feeling a sense of relief that the tension was over.

As you walk back to your dorm with Ellie, she is quiet, her head down. "Hey, are you okay?" you ask, concerned.

She looks up at you, her eyes dark. "I'm fine," she mutters, her voice low. "Just tired."

You can sense that Ellie isn't fine, but you don't know how to break the silence between you. The walk back to your dorm is long and awkward, filled only with the sounds of your footsteps on the pavement.

When you finally reach your dorm room, you turn to Ellie. "Do you want to talk about what’s making you upset?" you ask, hoping to resolve the tension.

Ellie shakes her head. "No, I just want to go to bed," she says softly.

You nod, feeling helpless. "Okay, well, let me know if you need anything," you say, giving her a small smile.

Ellie returns the smile weakly before laying on her bed, facing the wall silently. You watch her, feeling guilty and unsure of what to do next.

[elsfavor1te]

ANGELS WEPT, pt 2

warnings: tlou2 ellie williams x fem!reader, hurt/comfort (ellie & joel), no use of ‘y/n’, use of the pet name ‘bug’ & ‘baby’ , ellie reminiscing a lot.. lowercase intended. lmk if i forgot anything

i lowkey hate this. i feel like it’s messy and it doesn’t even really cover anything. hopefully you guys like it more than i do 💔. i highly recommend reading part 1 and 1.5 before this. (linked below.) enjoy <3

part 1 , part 1.5 , part 2.5

ellie couldn’t stand your home anymore. she tried to go back that night, but her first step through the door made her chest tighten in a special suffocating way.

despite her initial instinct to just turn around and wander around a bit longer, she walked in. she was met with the smell of one of the candles you had found one day, still lit from when you left earlier. the smell of sugar and..nectarines wafted through the air.

your jacket thrown over the edge of the couch, the red color of it contrasting against the brown of the couch. she walked further in.

your favorite quilt to cuddle under folded neatly, her fingers gently rubbed over it.

ellie’s drawings that you had especially loved, hung up by magnets you’d found on patrol on your small white refrigerator.

she remembers the way you burst through the door that day, ecstatic over your find.

—————

“els!!” you shouted as you walked in and kicked off your sneakers. “come here!”

her muffled grumble let you know that she was still asleep before you got there. you take out the hair tie that was holding up your high ponytail and shake your hair out.

“i really need to stop putting those in so tight…” you mumbled to yourself, turning on your heels when you heard the low thumping of ellie walking toward the kitchen.

“hi baby, how was patrol?” she asked as she pulled you into her arms. your heart swelled at the pet name you loved so much.

“really good! i got us something.” you gesture toward your backpack sitting on the counter, “how was your sleep? from the way your hair looks right now i’d say really good.”

you couldn’t contain your giggles as ellie flustered, taking the hair tie off the counter that was once in your hair and tying hers back.

“shut up, show me what you got.”

you notice the topic change but you let it slide, of course you wanted to tease more but you really wanted her to see what you found.

“okay okay… drumroll please!” your grin intensified when ellie made a show of patting on her thighs.

you pull the heaping handful of magnets out of the front pocket on your backpack and drop them on the counter. colorful numbers, letters and even a few symbols scattered on the counter.

“ta daaa! now i know it doesn’t seem like much but they’re… uh.. damn i forgot what jesse called them…” you fiddled with one as you tried to remember.

“magnets.” ellie fills in for you.

“yes! magnets. how’d you know?” you tilt your head, once again forgetting not everyone lived in the complete wilderness until 16.

“i-“

you don’t give her time to respond before your rambling again, eyes lit with joy. “look what they do!!” you stick one onto the fridge, turning and clapping when it sticks.

“isn’t that so fucking cool?? jesse says i can hang things with them, like pictures and shit.” you walk back over to ellie, who’d been quiet apart from when she was answering you.

“..do you like them? s’kinda silly now that i th-“

“they’re great bug,” she pulled you in by the loop on your jeans, kissing your cheek. “look i made our initials.”

she pointed her eyes toward the letter for your initial and an E, with a little plus sign in between. you smiled before picking them up and rushing to put them on the fridge.

“i was thinking.. y’know the drawings that you do? my favorite ones that i keep in our room.. maybe we could put a few up on the fridge?” you suggested timidly.

—————

the wind rattling the shutters pulls her from her trance. she rubs her hand down her face, turning away from the fridge and attempting to find something else to focus on.

her eyes catch the small piece of paper on the counter next. even though she knows what it’s gonna say, she picks it up anyway.

“hi my love! hope you sleep slept well. i don’t have patrol but i’m gonna go out on my own today. not going anywhere far just in the woods around to see if i can find some of the plants from that badass book you got me. i’ll be back before lunch!

- love, your girl.”

you weren’t back before lunch though, or after it. that’s what prompted ellie to go searching for you, immediately thinking the worst as usual. it sucks that this time she was right to do so.

she gently places the note back down on the countertop, rubbing at her chest when she feels the ache there. she stands for a moment before mumbling out into the stagnant air, “promise i’m gonna kill every single one of them for doing this to you, baby..”

when ellie feels the tears swelling in her eyes and the lump in her throat she knows she’s had enough. she takes in the downstairs of your home once more before turning and walking back out of the front door.

she sits down on the small bench on the porch, bringing one of her knees to her chest and resting her chin on it. the harsh wind of the night whips against her cheeks making them that rosy color you loved.

her eyes drifted around, looking at the other houses on the block. a few lights on, some off. her eyes close for a second, savoring the tranquility of the windy but otherwise quiet night. when they open again she looks at the stairs leading to your home and frowns slightly at the flowers beginning to lead up, obviously from the other town members.

the sight makes her think of how social you were compared to her, how you made an effort for everyone to like you (and her). how you went to every gathering, remembered every birthday.

ellie rubs her hands against the rugged cloth of the bench cushion in an attempt to ground herself when her eyes begin to burn again. she was sick of crying. she’s cried enough tears for everyone in the world tonight.

her self-soothing is interrupted by the creak of the wooden stairs as joel walks up, holding something in his hands.

he doesn’t say anything as he sits beside her on the bench, putting the container down between them. “…maria wants me to make sure you’re eating.”

she glances down at the container of food and lets out a hum of acknowledgment. she lets her gaze wander over to the side of joel’s face for a second before dropping her eyes back down toward the fraying edge of her shoelace.

“…i wanna leave tomorrow.” she breaks the silence with her soft but determined words.

joel glances over at her before sighing, “ellie.. to have the guys that we need, to do this smart- and right, we would be leaving jackson vulnerable.”

the only thing heard was the wind rustling the trees and the occasional hooting from an owl as she processed what was said to her.

“..what? fuck that i don’t need any guys. are they just supposed to- to get away with this??” ellie spits out, confusion and anger coating her words.

“you know i don’t want that, nobody in this town wants that.”

“yeah? well i can’t fucking tell.” she grumbles, picking at a loose thread on the bench.

“..you can’t do this on your own. and my age is starting to affect me, we need guys and jackson can’t spare ‘em. what if we get attacked by hunters again, huh?” he tries to reason, to get ellie to understand.

“oh bull- is this maria? or- or tommy?? who the hell has put that shit in your head? you know if it was me or you or- anyone in this fucking place she would be halfway to seattle by now.” her body is fully turned to him now, with an incredulous look on her face.

“ellie- we aren’t even sure they’re in seattle.”

“Washington Liberation Front,” she smacks her hand between each word, accentuating them. “that’s what the fuck was on those patches-“

“those jackets could be stolen, we’re in the middle of a damn apocalypse-“

“that’s not even-“

“what if the WLF moved? you’re not being smart-“

“what the hell is your angle with this?” ellie’s clenched fist slams against the wooden beam attached to the railing of the home.

her question is met with silence in return. her eyes drop to the ground when a tear starts its path down her cheek, she quickly wipes it away. “i don’t know why you’re doing this.. but i’m leaving tomorrow, whether you’re with me or not. you come, great. you don’t? also fine.”

the wind blows particularly hard once she finishes her statement, blowing strands of her hair out of place.

joel runs his hand over his beard, grimacing slightly before responding, just above a mumble. “you don’t know what we’re walking into. we don’t know how big the group is, how armed-“

“i don’t care. she was my-… i don’t care. you’re not talking me out of this.”

he sighs defeatedly, he knew she wasn’t gonna go for this before he even made the journey here. he knows her better than that, but he tried anyway.

“just- just give me a day- or two okay? i’ll talk to maria, there has to be a few people she can spare. just give me some time, kiddo. i’m not letting you do this on your own.”

“..okay.”

joel hesitantly walks toward ellie, pulling her into a hug when he doesn’t sense any objection on her part. his hand finds its way to back of her head, holding her against him. he holds her when her shoulders shake the tiniest bit, he holds her when her knees seem to wanna give out, mostly he holds her because he knows she needs the comfort and maybe- he does too.

“it’s gonna be okay. i’m sorry.” he mumbles into her auburn hair, comforting the best way he knows how.

the moment doesn’t last for long after that, ellie hating to be vulnerable infront of anyone who wasn’t you.

she wipes at her face, stepping back a bit from joel. “i forgive you.. for.. y’know. she wanted me too. we were supposed to invite you for a movie tomorrow night.”

his heart clenched in his chest at the thought of one more movie night. one more day with just the 3 of you. his girls.

“so yeah.. s’okay. i understand why you did it now. i just- wish you would’ve been honest with me. i wish i didn’t have to find out in any way other than you telling me.”

he hums, hand clenching and unclenching. “i knew you would’ve been pissed. i know how bad you wanted it but i- i couldn’t.”

ellie sighs. she doesn’t wanna talk about it anymore, she doesn’t wanna talk about what could’ve been, she doesn’t wanna talk at all really.

“okay.. well i’m gonna go. i’ll let you know as soon as i get the okay from maria, she can be stubborn but she loved her just as much as we did.” he nods as a form of goodbye before turning and disappearing into the distance.

[bowsellie]

better than revenge - pt 2

fic warnings: cheating, angst, love triangle. abby x reader, reader x ellie, abby x ellie kind of. MDNI, smut

part 1 part 3

warnings: not proof read! ellie x reader, smut without feelings, kind of toxic!reader, manipulatey!reader, SMUT, MDNI. oral (r! receiving), face fucking (e! receiving), praise, pet names.

The rest of the night was spent internet sleuthing. Going through the girls Abby followed named Ellie--of which there were three--and finding the only one with a pride flag in her bio. Requesting to follow and scrolling through her posts to confirm that she was exactly Abby's type. Liking a few of her recent posts to show her you've been looking, then going through your mutual friends to figure out your common link.

After some time gathering information, you decided to send her a message.

hey, idk if you know me but we have a couple friends in common. I can't believe we've never met, you seem so cool!

Shortly, a response came.

oh, hey! yeah I've seen you around but never had the chance to introduce myself haha. well, I'm ellie (obviously).

You let yourself fall into the comfortable lull of flirting with Ellie. Complimenting her appearance, her vibe. Mentioning your queerness. Bringing up the potential to meet up in person. Everything that had worked on Abby seemed to be working on Ellie.

oh, are you still dating that abby girl?

Shit.

oh, her. idk honestly haha. we're on a break or something, but I don't think we'll get back together. I kind of have my eye on someone else.

who?

You looked at her message, considering for a moment before the three dots on Ellie's side popped up again.

do I know them at least? I won't say anything if I do--swear.

how about we go out to coffee and I can tell you then?

Nervousness and excitement danced in your gut as you watched for her response. When the little "yes" appeared, you smiled to yourself and began to make plans to see Ellie.

---💗💗💗---

"You're so pretty, baby."

Ellie's mouth was against your ear, breathing hot and humid as you whimpered. Her knee grinding against your cunt, pressing into the seam of your jeans and expertly growing a pressure there that you knew would pay off sweetly.

Her soft mouth moved to kiss your face all over. Cheeks, brows, lips, as she whispered praises in between. "Prettiest girl I've ever seen. So perfect. I bet you're so sweet." At this suggestion, your hips bucked upwards and elicited a louder groan out of your mouth. "You want me to taste you, sweet girl?"

You nodded quickly, somewhat dazed already. Sex with Abby hadn't felt this good since the very beginning of your relationship, when sparks were still flying and the fire in your bellies was bright. Before the domesticity, and the comfort, and...

You should probably stop thinking about your girlfriend while fucking another girl.

Tuning back in, you noticed that Ellie had pulled your jeans and panties down in one swipe and was resting her cheek on your thigh, looking up at you with hungry eyes. Making eye contact, she leaned forward slowly until her warm mouth attached itself to your cunt. You closed your eyes as you moaned, immediately overwhelmed by how warm and wet and good it felt to have Ellie's tongue playing through your folds. She teased at your clit before moving back down and giving long licks to your pussy, listening attentively to what made you pant and groan and squirm underneath her. She focused more and more attention on your pulsing clit, sucking it between her teeth harshly and applying pressure that made your back arch and thighs clasp around her head. Your hands took two chunks of her hair and began to pull her closer to you, pushing your hips against her mouth as she sucked and lick at your clit. Tensing up and practically shouting her name, you came messily over her mouth.

Ellie leaned away and looked up at you with a grin, wiping her mouth on her hand. "You are sweet." She leaned forward over your body to kiss you sloppily, the tangy taste of pussy on your tongue.

“Ellie,” you whined. “I wanna taste you.”

“Want me to fuck your face, pretty girl?” You nodded enthusiastically, reaching to pull her close to you. Ellie discarded her jeans, moving to position herself above your face. She held you by your hair and lowered her wet cunt over your mouth, holding you still as she ground over your extended tongue.

The girl above you was a grunter. Between praises of how good you were doing, she was breathing out carnal pants and groans that grew louder when she began to increase the pressure. Your jaw was sore, but you knew Ellie was close as your teeth bumped against her clit one, two, three times. As her rhythm stuttered and the grip on your hair loosened, Ellie’s thighs squeezed tight around your head as she came right on your tongue. Your tastes blended into something strong that stayed on your tongue as Ellie climbed off your face, kissing your hair and heading towards the bathroom to grab a washcloth and clean you off.

Wiping down your legs and chin, you sat up and began retrieving your discarded clothes. Ellie sat on the edge of the bed, shy in a contrast to her precious persona. “Have somewhere to be?” she asked. She placed her weight on one hand behind her in an attempt to look casual, but a crease sat between her eyebrows.

“Yeah, it’s late and I have to get home. This was great though. I want to see you again.” Your words came out rushed, and you glanced up at Ellie.

“Yeah, let’s do this again. Should I, I don’t know, walk you home or something?”

You shook your head, already halfway out the door. “No no no, don’t worry about that.”

Suddenly, your plan was getting risky. Yes, you wanted Abby to find out and be jealous. But how were you planning to tell her? How would she actually react? The foundation began to crumble and you bit the bottom of your lip raw on the way home.

[knuffled]

not so bad - chapter seven

hello here’s the new chapter. enjoy!

ao3 link here

The semi-finals high school women’s soccer match had been set-up for a climactic showdown between East Summers and their archrivals, Creston. Annabeth had been praying for a rematch after their previous run-in during last year’s tournament had ended in East Summers being eliminated in the quarter-finals, a defeat that was made all the more bitter when Creston went on to win the Championship in the end. Creston was an elite prep school with an absurdly well-funded women’s soccer team that had a legacy of success. Their coach was a former US Women’s National Team player that Annabeth had idolized growing up as a kid. In contrast, East Summers, which had languished in obscurity for decades, had an up-and-coming program that had risen to prominence with the appointment of Head Coach Hedge and the crop of talent in Annabeth’s grade.

It was a cold, brisk day in early November. Annabeth pulled her hair into a ponytail, tips of her fingers already starting to go numb because of the cold, while Coach Hedge finished reminding the team of the tactics he’d implemented for the game. When he finished, he motioned for Annabeth to speak, so she went to stand in front of the rest of the team and looked into their faces. She was happy to see the grim determination on their faces reflecting her own mental state. 

“I don’t have a lot to say,” Annabeth started. “This is the semi-finals, but we know this is the big one. Don’t forget what it felt like to lose to them last year. It’s time we gave them a taste of their own medicine.” 

When her teammates nodded, Annabeth put her hand out and they formed a huddle around her, placing their hands on top of hers.

“This is our time! Play without fear!” Annabeth shouted. “East Summers on 3. 1. 2. 3.”

“East Summers!”

With that, as her teammates took the field, Coach Hedge clapped her back and said, “Good speech, kid.” 

“Thanks, Coach.” 

“Now, it’s time to get ‘er done, okay? Bring me their heads, Chase.”

Annabeth gave him some serious side-eye. “Don’t think you’re allowed to say that about a high school soccer game, Coach.”

Coach Hedge rolled his eyes and grumbled, “Agh, you know what I meant, but fine. For legal reasons, I meant that figuratively.”

Annabeth shook her head as she jogged onto the field and stood at the center circle. Creston had won the coin toss, so they got the ball first. Their striker glared at Annabeth, but it didn’t faze her in the slightest. There was only one person on Earth that could intimidate Annabeth, and he was probably helping his mom make pizza. 

The referee blew her whistle, and the game went under way. Creston immediately mounted an attack and started to string together a series of intricate passes in an effort to bring the ball closer to their goal. Annabeth and her teammates were prepared for this though - they knew that they wouldn’t get much of the ball and that they would have to be patient and counter-attack when Creston messed up. Well, it would be more accurate to say if Creston messed up. They were historically known as a very technically proficient team, so stealing the ball off of them was almost impossible. 

For the first thirty minutes of the game, it felt like Annabeth and her teammates were chasing shadows, and they barely got a single touch of the ball. But although Creston was running circles around them, they couldn’t break down their defense. In fact, they only managed one shot on target, but Melanie managed to save it comfortably. 

Melanie tried to start a counter-attack and threw it to Ellie in midfield. That was Annabeth’s cue to start running towards Creston’s goal, but Ellie was immediately swarmed by two of Creston’s midfielders who robbed the ball off her and started yet another attack. 

Annabeth bit back a groan of frustration and started to track back to help defend again.

The remaining ten minutes in the first half were more of the same, but they managed to make it to half-time without conceding a goal. As she and her teammates jogged back to recon with Coach, Annabeth was struck by how tired they all looked, but it made sense considering the amount of running they’d been doing trying to win the ball back and the mental strain of knowing that any slip up would result in Creston scoring. If Creston ever scored a goal, then the game was pretty much done for. East Summers’s entire game plan was predicated on making sure that the score remained 0-0 and to bank on winning the game with a goal from a counter attack. 

Her teammates grabbed bottles of water and powerade from a cooler one of the parent volunteers had brought and took long draughts from them. Coach approached them, a hint of worry on his face that Annabeth caught, but he erased it before the rest of the team could notice.

“You’re doing well,” Coach huffed. “You’re the only team so far in the tournament to manage a whole half without letting them score. They’re starting to get frustrated, I can tell. And their frustration will result in mistakes, mistakes that you will capitalize on and punish them for. Remember, a chance will come. They’re human, just like you. They’re not perfect. And one chance is all it takes to win.” 

Although her teammates nodded in agreement, Annabeth could tell they were terrified about the prospect of having to endure another forty minutes against more of the same from Creston. It wasn’t like she couldn’t understand them though. There was massive pressure on her shoulders too - her teammates could defend all they wanted, but if she couldn’t score with the one or two chances she got, it would all be for nothing. 

Eventually, they had to head back onto the field, and Annabeth wracked her brain to think of what she could do differently to alter the trajectory of the game. She passed the ball back to Ellie when the ref blew her whistle, and Creston immediately pounced again. Ellie managed to retain possession and passed to one of the other midfielders, but it was only a matter of time before Creston won the ball back. 

The rest of the half was more of the same, only Creston’s attacks continued to get sharper as Annabeth’s teammates got more and more tired. It felt like it would only be a matter of time before Creston broke through and scored. 

Annabeth’s team managed, by some miracle, to make it to the last three minutes of the game without conceding, but Annabeth hadn’t gotten a single touch of the ball. Scoring on Creston felt impossible. But then one of Creston’s wingers made a rare mistake and failed to trap the ball properly, and Rosa, one of the defenders on Annabeth’s team, stole the ball and passed to Ellie. 

Despite Annabeth’s exhaustion and frustration, she forced herself to make yet another run upfield in the hopes that Ellie would find her. Her lungs burned with exertion as she raced towards the last two Creston defenders, and then the ball fell right in front of her. A spark of hope lit inside her, Annabeth bit back a grin and looked up to find the defenders rushing towards her. 

With one touch, Annabeth feinted going left and managed to trick the defender and sped past her. The last defender tried to drop back and by time for her partner to recover, but Annabeth booted the ball past her and opted to beat her in a foot-race. Like she’d guessed, she was faster, although not by much. Annabeth got the ball, but the defender was close enough to pull on her shirt. It looked like she would be able to break free, but a few meters from the corner of the box, the defender stuck a leg out and tripped her. 

Annabeth went tumbling forward and the ball rolled past the sideline, but the referee blew her whistle for a foul, awarding East Summers a free kick. Annabeth stood up and picked the mud off her knees before she jogged to the sideline to retrieve the ball from the spectator that had recovered it, but she froze when she saw who it was. 

“Percy? What are you doing here?” Annabeth asked, wondering if she was so tired she was hallucinating. 

He gave her a lopsided smile. “My sister begged me to come watch the game with her.”

Annabeth looked past him and noticed Estelle standing there, beaming at her. “Hi, Annabeth!” 

“Hey, Estelle,” Annabeth said, blinking. “Thanks for coming out to see me. I know it’s not been a fun game to watch so far.” 

“No, it’s cool seeing a forward helping the team defend. Without your help, Creston would have scored by now,” Estelle said. 

Hearing that warmed Annabeth’s heart. She’d felt useless all game since she hadn’t been able to do her job as an attacker, but it was true that she’d been doing her best to defend and was still helping the team. 

Annabeth looked back at Percy, but before she took the ball from him, she scuffed her cleats against the back of her heel. “Um, have any words of encouragement for me?” 

Percy smiled and said, “If you score, I’ll use my powers to grant you one wish.”

For some reason, Annabeth felt a sudden rush of bravery course through her. “Then, what if I asked you out on a date?” 

His eyes hardened like she was playing an elaborate prank on him, but when he realized she was being serious, they seemed to thaw. 

He cleared his throat and peered at her through his stupidly long eyelashes. “Come back after you score and we’ll see, Chas- Annabeth.” 

Annabeth bit back a grin and looked at Estelle. “Any words of advice for me?” 

Estelle offered her a solemn nod. “You’re not going for power here. Bend it.” 

Hearing her own advice parroted back to her made Annabeth’s grin widen. She took the ball back and returned to the field, but she could feel the siblings’s eyes on her. The referee gestured for the spot where she could take the free kick. Her teammates exchanged looks with her when she put the ball down without a word. They looked confused, but they trusted her enough not to question her. 

Annabeth sucked in a breath and stood back six paces from the ball. She’d never scored from this far out before, but Estelle’s words made her realize this was the exact angle she liked for her go-to move to score. All she had to do was bend the ball to the far post. 

When the ref blew her whistle, Annabeth ran up to the ball at an angle and hit the ball without too much force. The moment it left her foot, Annabeth had a good feeling. She watched as it curve around the wall of Creston defenders, past the outstretched glove of their goal keeper, and flew into the top corner of their net. 

The referee signaled for a goal, and Annabeth’s teammates exploded with excitement. They rushed around her with exuberant cheers and smothered her in a team hug. Annabeth fell to the floor laughing and relished in the feeling of victory. The game wasn’t over yet, but Annabeth had seen the faces of the Creston players when she’d scored - they looked completely defeated. 

Sure enough, the remainder of the game passed uneventfully, and Annabeth’s team moved on to the finals. After another round of congratulations from her teammates and Coach Hedge, Annabeth found Estelle and Percy waiting for her near the bleachers. 

“You did it! That was such a cool goal!” Estelle cheered. 

“Thanks, Estelle! Your advice definitely helped,” Annabeth said, smiling. 

She looked at Percy then and grinned at him. “So, I’ve upheld my end of the bargain. Now, it’s your turn.” 

He rolled his eyes fondly. “Alright, fair enough. Come by the restaurant next Saturday at 6, and I’ll take you out.” 

“Cool,” Annabeth said, feeling breathless. 

Percy shook with suppressed laughter, eyes glittering. “Alright, I have to head out now, but I’ll see you later, Annabeth.” 

Annabeth nodded. “See you later, Percy.” 

As she watched him leave, Annabeth bit back a giddy smile and couldn’t help thinking next Saturday couldn’t come soon enough.

[yuripoll]

MASTERPOST

season 1 (WINNER: Bloom into You) ||| season 2 (WINNER: The guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all) ||| season 3 (WINNER: Destroy It All and Love Me In Hell) ||| season 4 (TBD)

curiosity round (schedule | tag)

NAVIGATION:

matches: poll posts without additional comments or reblogs

yuri propaganda: any posts regarding contestants (series tags are here if you want to browse)

results: winner announcements for any completed match

knockouts: for shoutouts to the losing contestants & certain rejected submissions (knockout masterpost can be found here)

yuriposting: for any general reblogs about yuri as a concept

other polls: what it says on the tin!

blacklist "stfu elly" if you don't want my asks / non-tournament talk on your dash. if you don't want to see reblogs of poll posts, blacklist "match boost" xoxo

If I miss any CWs or you want to dispute the ones I've listed, please let me know; I try to be thorough, but my memory is a sieve and I'm not always exact.

Submissions are still open while the poll is running! Rather than any submission being unsuccessful, it just gets added to the spreadsheet for next time :)

Guidelines, submission form & additional info under the cut.

SUBMISSION YAYS:

Not limited to just manga; as long as we're talking GL (or, at the very least, comics about lesbians), manhua, webcomics & other non-japanese comics are fine!

Oneshots, anthologies & ongoing works are all equally A-OK.

While I ask that you don't submit straight up hentai, any amount of sexual content in a work is alright (just give a heads up 👍).

Titles that explore or touch on dark subject matter are fine (encouraged. even.), again just give a heads up.

SUBMISSIONS NAYS:

While there's no strict page minimum, future polls won't include very short works; I'll still shout them out if they're submitted, but I feel they don't make for very fun competition.

Submit as many titles as you like, but number of submissions has little to no impact on acceptance, so no need to spam the same one.

Anything romanticising or sexualising incest/rape/grooming/etc will not be accepted; its a blurry line between that and having dark themes, of course, so acceptance and rejection are up to my discretion.

SUBMISSION FORM IS HERE: LINK

PROPAGANDA:

I take screencaps & go through series tags for the bulk of propaganda, but submitted propaganda is also readily accepted. All that stuff gets queued, but I share submissions right away.

Tag me in a post, send things via DM, or jump in the ask or submission box - any is fine! If it's been a minute and I haven't shared it, I probably haven't seen it; in that case just let me know directly.

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Polls give a general heads up of any notable warnings for the series in the post, but once they're out of the tournament, they get a more detailed recommendation post that's more specific and comprehensive.

That being said, some of these I didn't read a lot of, haven't read in awhile, or are still ongoing, so be please be cautious!

SEEDING:

Seeding is based on MAL ranking or, if there's no MAL ranking available, it's assigned a random number between 1500 & 10,000 and placed into the challonge bracket based on that.

OFFICIAL TIE PROTOCOL:

TIE IN THE MAIN BRACKET -> Treated as a double loss, aka both go to the Losers' Bracket in a three way match. Of the two that tied, the highest scorer goes back to the main bracket. The lowest scorer of all three gets knocked out.

TIE IN THE LOSERS BRACKET -> Treated as a double win, aka both go to the next round of the Losers' Bracket in a three way match. The highest scorer moves forward, and the other two get knocked out.

WHAT ABOUT A TIE IN THE THREE-WAY MATCHES? -> I have chosen not to think about that <3

WHAT IF, LIKE, THERES A TIE IN THE LOSERS BRACKET AND MAIN BRACKET IN A WAY THAT WOULD RESULT IN A 4 WAY MATCH? -> I delete my blog.

(ran by @nicastamatis, also ran @foodiepoll)

[streetslost]

𝟓 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄

disclaimer: these songs might not actually relate to cat they just. get the vibe lol.

1 - would anyone care by citizen soldier ( extremely depressing song for the first bit warning but with hopeful outlook at the end so please listen all the way through if you're sensitive to that )

2 - when a child decides to die by nights amore ( now this is straight up depressing with no hope please do not listen if you are sensitive to that, i'm just being honest because the music and vibes are like... weirdly very focusing to me. not even going to link it because i know tumblr, but i can handle it 8'D )

3 - honest by kyndal inskeep ( homeward bound verse based, her with scott. shout out to melody for this recommendation )

4 - figure 8 by ellie goulding ( so... honestly this song really doesn't fit cat but i was OBSESSED with it around the time i was first developing cat so i just strongly associate it with her. my blood and halcyon are also a good ones but this one was my fave )

5 - breathe me by sia ( ...the vibes )

other shout outs: natural ( imagine dragons ), monster ( also imagine dragons lol long story to this one ), walk me home ( said the sky ), stars and moon ( breathe carolina - scott and cat song ), surrender ( cash cash - also a scott and cat song ), parachute ( kyndal inskeep ), don't let me go ( reign ), human ( christina perri ), i am the fire ( halestorm ), the last of us ( gustavo santaolalla ), rewrite the stars ( greatest showman soundtrack, yes it's a scott and cat song ), royals or team ( lorde ), safe and sound ( t swift and the civil wars ), shatter me ( lzzy hale and lindsey stirling ), orchard of mines ( globus ), remember me ( ivan torren ), no man's daughter ( blackwell and crane ), i think some billie eilish songs but tbh i don't actually know them i just know some of them vibe, like most linkin park songs lol

...i've had cat for a while, i've made a lot of songs work with her in some way sajklfd;saj there's way more than this in some fashion

...i went through an ellie goulding phase when i made cat so even though her songs don't fit i also like. the halcyon album still gives me the zone.

tagged by: @littlebadger ( thankies! )

tagging: @storybounded ( scotty! ) and then all you other people who actually still like cat lol

[monriatitans]

Ta-Da! List: Monday, June 3rd

The image was made in Canva; check it out at the [referral] link here!

I share my “Ta-Da! List” every day so everyone gets a daily update and I have a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

To learn more about “Ta-Da! Lists”, and other ADHD life hacks, check out @adhdjesse’s book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD.

Abbreviations

- MT: MonriaTitans - O&T: Opinions & Truth Blog - WGS: The Weekend Game Show - ASO: Artist Shout-Out - IG: Instagram - BMAC: Buy Me a Coffee - TDL: Ta-Da! List

Ta-Da! List

✧ throughout the day: - relaxed during the morning and evening - travelled around Durango: went to Honeyville, R G P’s Flame Grilled Wraps, Guild House Games, Christmas in Durango, and Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Store ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the mobile phone: - attempted to make emails manageable - YouTube: watched Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)’s videos “Online Games Clearly Need Offline Contingencies” - MT IG: shared a post talking about the trip to Honeyville ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ at the hotel on the laptop: - attempted to make emails manageable - filled out today’s TDL - WGS: removed the link to Threads, added links to GamerProfile and RankOne from the WGS Carrd; began removing the IG and Threads links from the ASOs’ Albums, updated the links to some of the albums, and filled in missing links in BMAC: working backwards, made it to May 2022; removed the “Instagram Shout-Outs” sheet from the ASOs’ Master Spreadsheet - O&T: changed the publish date for “The Dangers of AI ‘Art’” and “If you are… don’t come in.” to June 1st to move them to the top of the home page; removed the IG link from WGS’ “Social Media Icons (Deprecated)” widget; shared today’s TDL to various social media - YouTube: watched and/or listened to: 1. Philosophy Tube’s video “I Emailed My Doctor 133 Times: The Crisis In the British Healthcare System” 2. Tina Huang’s video “Why You Can’t Find A Job” 3. ContraPoints’ video “Men” 4. The Book Leo’s videos “i read the most hyped tiktok books to tell you if they are worth it 📚” and “why simply copying the hunger games doesn’t work” 5. Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)’s videos “Monsters, Memes, and Money: Silent Hill 2 Remake’s Worrying Nonsense” and “When Jim Sterling Was Sued For $10 Million By Digital Homicide” 6. Rowan Ellis’ video “The Sanitised Lie of OCD Representation” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ trip and miscellaneous: - Food: had bacon and bagels with cream cheese for breakfast; at Honeyville, sampled the Honey Wine and the Chocolate Buzz: Honey Fudge Sauce; at R G P’s Flame Grilled Wraps, had their Chicken Caesar Wrap for lunch; at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Store, had two Milk Chocolate Caramels; had salad and potato soup for dinner - Chores: started packing for the return home

—

Well, these are all the updates I had for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy what I do? Please consider supporting via Buy Me a Coffee (BMAC)! Like what you see and want to know when there’s more? Click here to subscribe for updates and/or hit the Follow button! This post contains affiliate links.

Watch MonriaTitans on Twitch, YouTube, and Rumble! For more about MonriaTitans, click here!

[injuryresrve-blog]

tag dump .. 

[krakensdottir]

Older GO asks (and answers!) from Neil Gaiman’s inbox

SO, I have been wading in Good Omens meta for months now, and I often see things come up that Neil has actually addressed in asks. Trouble is, his ask box is deep and intimidating, and since season 2 was announced all the pre-season 2 asks have basically been buried. But I went hunting long ago for basically anything GO-related and I took screenshots of a bunch. So I thought I’d present them here, roughly organized, in text form, for the benefit of anyone else who’s curious.

Of course, none of this is meant to invalidate headcanons or whatever; Neil himself is firmly against doing so. But I’ve personally had no issue accepting author’s word with this series, since Neil has not, as yet, done anything that made me want to shout at him or eat a couch in frustration, which is a refreshing change from the writers in most of the fandoms I’ve ever been part of. So, for what it’s worth, here are the answers. At least some of them; I know I’ve missed a lot.

(And yes, they pretty much all relate to the angels and demons, Crowly and Aziraphale specifically. There were very few asks that DIDN’T concern them, and none that I have saved. Of course, the ask box is still open...)

Re: Aziraphale

Aziraphale openly lied to God about the flaming sword. Does that mean God is not omniscient (which also means there is not ineffable plan) or that angels only believe in God just like humans (I mean that tiny difference between faith and knowledge)?

NG: It means that Aziraphale was definitely up for lying to God and hoping.

Why did Aziraphale use his wing to cover Crowley during the first rain?

NG: Because otherwise Crowley would have got wet.

What is Aziraphale’s opinion on e-books? On the one hand it saves space and trees, but on the other, no inscriptions or signed first editions.

NG: I don’t think he knows they exist. If Crowley gave him an e-reader, it’s still in its box.

What are Aziraphale and Crowley’s favorite songs? (In answer, Neil links to videos of “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by The Velvet Underground, and “Spread A Little Happiness” from the musical Mr. Cinders. He goes on to say the following:)

NG: He was at the first night of Mr Cinders in 1929, and he has loved the song ever since then. The theatrical programme for Mr Cinders was a long way down the pile of programmes that burned down in episode 3, but it was there.

I like to think that Aziraphale was friendly with composer Vivian Ellis although probably not with Clifford Grey, who wrote the lyrics.

What are a couple bands or songs Aziraphale would like from the last 50 years or so? Or what would he listen to in private, like how Crowley would like Pale Blue Eyes from Velvet Underground?

NG: The trouble with Aziraphale is he’s always going to be behind on what he hears and on technology. He doesn’t have anything in the Bookshop that plays music, apart from an ancient manual gramophone. He has LOTS of classical music, but very little that’s 20th century, let alone “last 50 years or so”. He’ll probably discover the Beatles somewhere towards the end of the next century.

There might be exceptions to this blog, but they’d be stories in their own right.

(…) And obviously, he goes to the theatre. He likes Stephen Sondheim, for the most part. And I’m pretty sure he liked Hamilton.

Why are Aziraphale’s clothes worn and old fashioned in the present, when in the past, he’s dressed in clothes appropriate to the time? He’s even quite stylish in many of the flashbacks, and his clothes are in perfect shape. But in present day, he’s back in his Victorian coat and a waistcoat so old it’s bald. Was there a reason for that?

NG: He likes them. When he changes clothes he buys new ones, but he’s been quietly updating his Victorian clothes for a long time now.

Why is Aziraphale’s waistcoat so worn out when he can keep the overcoat in tip-top condition for over 180 years?

NG: He wears the overcoat less frequently. He’s worn the waistcoat for a hundred and fifty years, wherever he is and whatever he’s doing. In the shop and out of it. He doesn’t wear the coat in the shop, though. (And the coat definitely isn’t in the same condition now that it was in 1862…)

Why does Aziraphale own a bookshop if he dislikes selling the books? Why didn’t he decide to make it a library?

NG: A library? Can you imagine how much personal interaction he’d have to have with people if he was a librarian? And the books would just go home with people, and there’s no knowing what they’d do to the poor things. Spilled tea and turned down corners and that’s just the start of it. No, if you’re giving a good home to books, Aziraphale is certain that a used bookshop is a much better way not to sell anything or deal with human beings.

In later years would Aziraphale ever consider re-branding the Bookshop as a type of research library? I mean, no one could take the books out of the building, everyone would have to wear those white gloves to handle them, could still have odd hours and no one would question the librarian observing people as they look at the priceless books.

NG: He would still have to deal with people, though. And people would have to be able to find the books. I don’t think he’d like that.

Aziraphale uses the name ‘Mr Fell’ in his bookshop, and definitely in Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde the name Mr Fell is an allegory for someone you really dislike… was this intentional at all?

NG: That’s because of the nursery rhyme, “Doctor Fell”:

I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,

The reason why - I cannot tell;

But this I know, and know full well,

I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.

Said to have been created by poet Tom Brown to save himself from expulsion.

And it was probably part of what was in my mind when I named him. (Mostly I just loved the idea of an Angel who named himself Fell, when he had not actually Fallen.)

(On why Aziraphale had to look up verses, instead of having the Bible memorized:)

NG: I don’t think any of the angels we meet in Heaven have read the Bible, except to look through it for the bits they were mentioned in and (in Sandalphon’s case in particular) to grumble that they aren’t in there by name.

Aziraphale tends to regard the Bible fondly, but not authoritatively. Remember, he was there.

In the book we learn that Aziraphale owns:

“...the original scroll in the shaky hand-writing of St John the Divine of Patmos, whose ‘Revelation’ had been the all-time best seller. Aziraphale had found him a nice chap, if a bit too fond of odd mushrooms.”

And it’s a verse from the Revelation that Aziraphale is checking. So that’s a no on knowing the Bible by heart.

Aziraphale has memorized the Winnie the Pooh books, several Georgette Heyer novels, and Bobo’s Modern Coin Magic, though.

When the Quartermaster Angel in Heaven tells Aziraphale: “The whole platoon is waiting for you”, does he imply that Aziraphale is meant to lead this platoon, or is he just a private in Heaven’s army?

NG: He is meant to be leading the platoon.

Aziraphale is told that his whole platoon is waiting for him - does this mean he’s done Military Things in the past, or is it just for the Apocalypse?

NG: He fought in the war against the Revolting Angels - the “Glorious Revolution” that Dagon refers to.

Why was Aziraphale limping when he arrived in heaven after being discorporated?

NG: The last thing he felt was his body exploding and being destroyed. You’d limp too if it happened to you.

Re: Crowley

Just a random thought, do you think Crowley is someone who would start a pandemic? Probably on accident but still.

NG: No, but I think Crowley is someone who would muse on the human need to try and find someone or something to blame for an Act of God. Then he’d probably wonder whether it actually was an Act of God, or just the Bloodymindedness of Nature, and decide it was actually the Bloodymindedness of Nature.

Is Crowley by now in a coma? Can demons be in a coma? How long does one need to sleep for it to count as a coma?

NG: For Crowley, anything over 300 years might count as an unusually long sleep. A coma is defined as a sleep from which a person cannot be wakened, and Crowley can always be woken up.

Crowley slept through most of the 19th century, got up only in 1832. In the show he meets Aziraphale in 1862. So did he get up again just to meet him and went back to sleep? Or did he just nap until that point? Or is there no connection between these two scenes as one is book canon and one is show canon and I’ve been going insane over trying to smash timelines together?

NG: I’m afraid so.

I’ve heard about a deleted scene where Crowley was trying (and failing) to get to sleep, and now I’m insanely curious what Crowley’s bed would look like! Does he have black bedsheets? What kind of frame does he have? Does he keep any plants in his bedroom?

NG: We shot it too, but then needed to lose it to make some things work. My favourite scene was him asleep on the side of the door, and him asleep on the ceiling. The bedsheets were indeed (in memory) very black.

What did Crowley do to hide his eyes before the invention of sunglasses?

NG: Well, he invented Dark Glasses early. Before that mostly he glared at people who commented on his eyes and mostly they decided not to.

Since you said Crowley’s eyes go fully yellow when he’s under stress, why was he stressed when he was talking to zira in the garden? Or was it because he was just shifting out of his snake form?

NG: He was just shifting out of snake form.

In the scene with crowley taking out the cell phone tower, why do the rats listen to him? I mean he is technically a snake, shouldn’t they be scared of him?

NG: He is technically a demon. Who is sometimes a bit snakey. And if I was a rat, I’d be much more inclined to take orders from someone who might eat me if I didn’t than someone who is just nice and sweet and puts food down in the alley outside his bookshop every night.

I recently learned that Christians believe holy water can’t be diluted - if you pour out holy water into a bigger cup of water, all of it is now holy. I feel like the chances are pretty high that at least a drop of holy water has ended up in the ocean. And then it would end up in the rain? How is Crowley alive?

NG: Crowley is not a believer in Holy Water homeopathy.

In the book of Good Omens, it’s mentioned that Crowley has a The Velvet Underground CD. Does that have anything to do with their more Christian music (e.g. Jesus, Beginning to See the Light).

NG: No. It has to do with their more Unchristian music, like Black Angel’s Death Song, Murder Mystery, Pale Blue Eyes and Oh! Sweet Nothing.

Why was Crowley watching a movie about pastel bunny rabbits of all things?

NG: Because that was what was playing, and he wanted to sit down and collect his thoughts in a dark place. In my head, he’s somewhere like the old Victoria Station cartoon theatre, long since demolished (1981 I think) in our world, but perhaps Aziraphale kept around a bit longer in the Good Omens universe, because Crowley once mentioned that he’d liked it.

Since Crowley doesn’t “do books” per se, how’d he end up with The Extremely Big Book of Astronomy?

NG: I think Crowley does books. He just doesn’t admit to it in public.

In 41 A.D. why was Crowley in such a terrible mood?? And why does he look like a yuppie tourist?

NG: He had come from trying to tempt Caligula, and was grossed out and convinced that humans were appalling and he was wasting his time. And I think he was dressed that way to impress Caligula, or had just attended one of Caligula’s parties.

Quick question from a medievalist about Crowley’s hatred of the 14th century - do you imagine it’s something specific to/ one incident from the 1300s that makes him loathe it so? Or is it just the combination of general religious fervor and lack of technology and cool rock bands that make him resent it?

NG: Both Terry and I had read and loved Barbara Tuchman’s A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous Fourteenth Century. And it seemed to us that Crowley would have loved being out of the Fourteenth Century…

I’ve seen a lot of speculating on Crowley’s role as an angel before he was fallen. Is there anything you can tell us about, or are you leaving it up to fan speculation?

NG: I’m happy to leave it as fanfiction. As with anything Good Omens, it’s always possible that I’ll tell that story one day, and it’s always likely that I won’t.

I would like to know, because this topic was controversial, was Crowley good before the fall? I mean, did he stay good despite the fall, or did he become good over time?

NG: I think Crowley was never quite as good as he likes to maintain, and nowhere nearly as bad as Heaven would like to imagine.

Why do the Nazis recognize “the famous Mr. Crowley” on sight?

NG: That’s what they call “another story” isn’t it?

Re: Heaven and Angels

Why is Gabriel treated as Aziraphale’s boss when Aziraphale ranks higher in the third sphere? Principalities rank higher than Archangels in Angel Hierarchy, and while Archangels are there to ensure fulfilment of roles (such as Armageddon) Gabriel would still rank lower than Aziraphale.

NG: Terry and I were of the opinion that, in the world of Good Omens, archangels and Archangels were different things.

As Wikipedia explains, there are those who “make a distinction between archangel (with a lower-case a) and Archangel (with an uppercase A). The former can denote the second-lowest choir (arch-angels in the sense of being just above the lowest Choir of angels that is called only “angels”) but the latter may denote the highest of all the angels (i.e., Arch-angels in the sense of being above all angels, of any Choir. The seven highest Seraphim, Michael, being the highest of all).”

Is Sandalphon also a capital-A Archangel like Gabriel/Uriel/Michael? If not, do you have a strong opinion on what rank he is?

NG: He’s quite important. The Wikipedia article describes him as an archangel and as many other things. Then again, one of those things is Tall.

Longfellow wrote a Sandalphon poem, my favourite verse of which goes:

When I look from my window at night,

And the welkin above is all white,

All throbbing and panting with stars,

Among them majestic is standing

Sandalphon the angel, expanding

His pinions in nebulous bars.

Mostly because I love the idea of Paul Chahidi’s Sandalphon opening his wings in Nebulous Bars.

Is there any particular reason why angels use kilts as their uniform when they go to war?

NG: Angels wear suits in the office, and kilts when they go to war. It seemed an easy way to point out that they weren’t actually gendered, and I also thought it would look good.

The Sound of Music is about a woman who chooses love over her devotion to a religious order, and a man who rebels against an authoritarian regime so he and his family can have the freedom to choose their own destinies instead. There’s no way a story like that would be popular in Heaven.

NG: They missed all that. They just like the nuns, the mountains, and lots of cheerful singing.

Re: Hell and Demons

Are the demons in Good Omens immune to fire? In the book, Crowley was perfectly fine when the burning bookshop collapsed onto him. In the show, he is perfectly capable of standing in the Hellfire. However, Hastur is discorporated by the wall of flames and says “That’s not hellfire, that’s the real deal”. Does this mean they are only immune to Hellfire, not “real” fire? Or did he mean “real deal” in the sense of “actual danger”?

NG: The M25 Wall of Flames aren’t Hellfire and they aren’t what we’d think of as flames, either. There was a lot more about the flames originally (a lovely scene with scientists baffled by it) but we cut the scenes for pacing. There’s more in the book, though.

The first time we meet Beelzebub, they’re introduced as “The Lord Of Flies”, but later on, when Crowley contacts Hell after the birthday party, Dagon also introduces themselves as “The Lord Of Flies”. Do they hold the same title?

NG: Dagon is “Lord of the Files”. Beelzebub is “Lord of the Flies”.

They have more files than flies in Hell.

Why did Beelzebub have boils on their face when they’re in hell, but not when they appeared on earth?

NG: Because Demons, like Angels, look like what they want to look like. And Beelzebub doesn’t want to risk upsetting Adam. So Beelzebub looks more appropriate for Earth. No flies or boils.

Why does archangel Michael bring holy water for Crowley’s bath? But at the same time, an unknown simple (not high-level) demon brings hell fire to heaven for Aziraphale’s execution?

NG: Because Hell takes pleasure in not acknowledging Heaven’s importance.

Hastur and Crowley’s conversation about the 14th century implies Hastur wasn’t around back then. How do demons get created after the fall?

NG: Hastur wasn’t on Earth then. He was down in Hell’s basement, probably filing things.

General worldbuilding, other

The bit of good omens that talks about the date of creation refers to “the heaven and the earth”; if heaven didn’t exist prior to that, does that imply it’s not just the creation of the world, but also the day that all angels and demons were brought into existence? Thus making all angels and demons also libras?

NG: What a fun question. No, in the world of Good Omens the heaven that was created on the Second Day, when God created the heavens and the Earth were the heavens as a synonym for the sky and everything material above, and that meanwhile, off in Heaven, the angels and demons had already been beavering away for millions of years working on the Creation, had had a War in Heaven and a Fall of the Angels, and suchlike a long time before God said “Let there be light…”

Do angels and demons in Good Omens have free will? Aziraphale says no, but we know he often says things just for the sake of acting like a good angel. Crowley says demons aren’t supposed to have free will, but he learned it anyway. There are some angels who are more than willing to smite humans and some demons who aren’t deep down evil. So do they have free will or not?

NG: Do people have free will? Angels and demons have whatever people have, even if they like to give the impression they are above that sort of thing.

Crowley can’t walk on consecrated ground without experiencing an apparently fair amount of pain, but he strolls into heaven (literally the holiest place in the entire universe) without even flinching to save Aziraphale. Do you have any thoughts on this?

NG: Why do you think Heaven is holy? It’s an office. The same office building the demons are working in the basement of. It’s neutral ground, which is why the demon with the Hellfire can also turn up…

Do Crowley and Aziraphale need to exercise? Or can they simply miracle themselves fit?

NG: I don’t think Crowley ever thinks about exercise, except as something he’s vaguely proud of having helped turn into self-punishment for human beings. And he is as fit as any demonic former snake could possibly be.

Aziraphale is probably a bit worried about getting out of shape and putting on a few extra pounds, and would consider miracling the weight off and the muscles in as cheating. I cannot imagine him in exercise clothes though, even though I just tried very hard.

I assume that DNA taken from Aziraphale or Crowley’s (or really any Angel or Demon’s) human corporations would turn up as Human if tested. But their wings aren’t really part of their human corporations so if the DNA of one of their feathers were tested what would the results be?

NG: I’m pretty sure that DNA taken from any part of Crowley or Aziraphale would turn out to have been accidentally lost by the lab.

Did Crowley and Aziraphale speak Hebrew with each other before the fall of the Babylon tower? Do they generally speak Hebrew (or at least know Hebrew) since the biblical times?

NG: Good question. I like to think that when they were talking to each other originally, on the walls of the Garden, they were talking in the language of Angels. Whether that was Adamic, or whether it was a Divine Language, is up to you.

I would suspect that they are talking in Sumerian during the Mesopotamian sequence. They would have been talking in Hebrew (or more probably in Aramaic) in the Golgotha sequence, though.

How does Crowley know what a lead balloon is in the beginning?

NG: 1) He is a demon. Once upon a time he was an angel and responsible and got to see the Plans For Earth. So he learned about Lead and Balloons.

OR

2) he and Aziraphale are speaking together in the original language of angels and demons, and we are translating it for you, and whatever Crowley said translates as Lead Balloons.

Your choice.

In the scene where Aziraphale and Crowley are body-swapped and they order ice cream, are they ordering what the other normally would to keep up the disguise, or does Crowley really prefer the vanilla cone and Aziraphale the red popsicle?

NG: I think it’s more fun for people to wonder and imagine than it ever would be for me to answer.

(Regarding Aziraphale and Crowley’s neurodivergent traits:)

NG: For me, this is a bit like the conversation I’ve been having with people for three decades about their sexuality, where people ask me “are they [something]” and I say “No. You are asking about human beings, they are an angel and a demon.”

So…

If you are asking me if either of them is a neurotypical human being, the answer is, no, they definitely aren’t.

If you are asking if they behave like neurodivergent human beings sometimes, or even most of or all of the time, the answer is, yes, pretty obviously.

If you are asking if they are actually neurodivergent human beings, the answer is no, they are an angel and a demon.

I’m not sure what it looks like inside Aziraphale’s mind. I know it’s vaster and older and more complex and brilliant than anything I could hope to understand. And the same goes for Crowley (he’s smart - he used to design nebulae - but he’s not Aziraphale-level brilliant. He’s also not Aziraphale-level “I can’t believe you just did that stupid thing!” dumb.).

I can write how they interact with the world, though.

Production details

How was Aziraphale locked up in the Bastille in 1793 when it was destroyed in 1789?

NG: Because sometimes I don’t double-check everything I should. (Originally the scene occurred outside, in the Place de la Revolution, and I did all my research. And then when budget cuts forced it inside and I did a hurried rewrite, I forgot to check my dates on the fall of the Bastille.)

Why did you change the scene where Aziraphale breathes life back into the dead dove when in the book it’s Crowley who does that? I liked it so much, it made the fact that he is a force for good so clear.

NG: Basically, it was changed for blocking. What the actors were able to do: we needed to get Crowley into the car, and Aziraphale was standing some distance away. Had I been on location that day I might have been able to suggest some options, but I suspect that I would have agreed with the way they did it. I miss Crowley bringing the dove back to life, just as I miss Crowley almost drowning the duck in St James’s Park earlier.

Regarding the aesthetics of their wings:

NG: On TV, Aziraphale’s wings are white and beautiful, and Crowley’s are grey and a bit ragged.

(…) No, you didn’t misunderstand it at all. In the book, demons definitely have better-groomed wings than angels.

On TV, we will do things we didn’t get to do in the book: we spend time with angels in their offices, and we visit Hell. Which meant we needed a visual shorthand for angels, and for Hell.

When, a month or so after the book was published, Terry and I talked about how we would do Heaven and Hell in a Good Omens film or TV adaptation, we decided we wanted it to be a skyscraper, with Heaven on the beautiful floors on the top with the amazing view of the whole world, and Hell in the dark basements that nobody would ever want to work in. (They did lose, after all.)

So when it came to actually having to make that a reality, that was the way I went. And so our Angels are (except for Aziraphale) very smartly dressed, and our demons are (except for Crowley) rather shabby.

And it was probably unfair to describe Crowley’s wings as “ragged”. They just aren’t as pretty as Aziraphale’s wings, probably because Crowley is a lot less interested in wings than he is in things like Bentleys or clothes.

On Beelzebub’s costume:

NG: The fly hat was improvised. The original plan had been to give Beelzebub fly eyes, but Anna Maxwell Martin was about to have or had just had some eye problems which meant no contacts, and no glueing the big fly lenses we’d obtained onto her head. “Nosh” our hair and make up queen showed me what she had and asked my advice and I pointed out that we could turn the lenses and a couple of pieces of wire into a fuzzy fly hat, for Beelzebub on the air base. And we would have lots of face rot and flies in hell. So we did it. And it was the only time we ever got a costuming note from our execs at Amazon asking what the heck was going on with the fly hat. I assured them it would be just fine once we had a visual image of Hell Beelzebub in everyone’s mind. And flies.

Then it was just a matter of looking very fierce every time the people at the BBC told us how much money we would save by not putting the flies around Beelzebub’s head in post-production.

Finally, I’m also including this bit from Twitter about when the Body Swap occurred:

Neil: Douglas thinks the switch was on the bus. I think it was back at Crowley’s place later that night.

Neil: This is the Douglas theory:

Douglas: I think the switch was between the shot where the bus arrives, and the consequent jump cut to them on the bus. They swapped on the bench, then unswapped on a bench. Benches are where they discuss and do things for me! Could Crowley have stopped time again?

[honeycowinnit]

interview with a fic writer ! tagged by @halorocks1214 THANKS BESTIE <33

1. Your favourite fic that you’ve written (or the one you want to give a shout out to)

my favorite fic that I've written is DEFINITELY everyday every hour turn that pain into power, which is my BABY and a vigilante Tommy fic that's i've been working on for Five months now. I've put a lot of thought into plot and character and relationships and am trying my best to get as many dsmp characters in it <3

another one would definitely be Sinks Her Roots bc I adore magical realism and found family and platonic soulmates....its basically just a bunch of self indulgence that a lot of people seem to enjoy ❣❣😞

2. Your favourite fic title that you’ve come up with 

my favorite fic title that I've come up with would have to be labors of love bc it's just a cute bit referenced from the fic that makes me really happy ^-^

the bit in question: The assignment wasn't just an assignment- it was a labor of love. A collaborative effort. Definitive proof that Tommy's friendship was much more than just an obligation to Wilbur. 

3. How do you get inspiration to write?

I get inspiration to write from specific words or phrases or song lyrics that I hear that make me think of whatever my favorite character is atm ! that's why a lot of my titles are song lyrics, because those are the vibes I'm pulling from.

I also get a lot of fic insp from poetry and other people's stories that I read ^-^ I always try to link to the fic that inspired it if I can remember bc I want more ppl to read the original <3

4. Your favourite genre/subgenre of fic to write

like halo said, DEFINITELY hurt/comfort bc it's very comforting and a nice way to vent <3 also I love action comedies which works really well when writing a character like Tommy who is VERY active and very witty!

and of course, magical realism has always been very high up there for me bc I get to stretch my description writing legs :D

5. Do you have other hobbies?

other hobbies include writing poetry, painting, singing, the occasional friendly debate and baking <3

6. A fun fact about you that a lot of people may not know 

ooooo ummm my favorite color was purple for a while but only because a guy in fourth grade wrote down his dream girlfriend and every aspect matched with me except for the favorite color...obviously I grew to like the color on it's own, but now I think I really like the color orange/ yellow. character growth I guess 😭

7. Pick one character to self-project onto 

oh there are a lot, but I can break it down into a certain type. in every fandom I've ever been in, I've found a character (most times it's a guy) who makes a habit of hiding his true feelings behind snark or jokes. they're often misunderstood by the people around them and could be determined to deserve better .... someone somewhere is filling out a psych chart on me I know it ....

8. Favourite genre of music

any variation of pop music, but recently it's been pop-rock like bad bad hats or instrumentals, mainly scores from movies !

9. Your favourite singer/band

bad bad hats, the band camino and Ellie goulding :)

10. How have your experience in fandom been?

it's been alright! a bit of a mixed bag. some fandoms are super chill whereas others are more intense and make me reel back a bit haha. but I've met really cool and fun people in all of them and that's one of my favorite things abt fandom spaces ^-^

tagging: @wednesdayyevening @ferverdream @bellfort3 @noorahqar

[rhaenyratargaryns]

okay. wow. this has been a crazy year for a number of reasons but im just going to focus on the positives! first of all: i met some really amazing people this year. one of the good things to come out of this global lockdown was i actually started talking to people? and it’s been amazing. the friends i’ve made here have been so heart-warming, supportive, fun, and kinda life-changing (looking at you bulbfam). also i developed a new obsession, started three new sideblogs, and joined four! so im going to shout out some people who have really made this year amazing. 

ok so bulbfam. i love you guys so much. like i feel so lucky to be able to talk to you guys everyday. like if you took that “i wonder what this link will lead to” sound and put it here, it would lead to some of the best times of my life. even just sitting on voice chat in silence while we make gifs or watch tiktoks or do stats homework is amazing. i definitely always feel like you guys are too cool and funny for me but i would not trade you guys for anything!!! [side note: fleur i love and thank you for creating this!!!!!!!!!]

jochi!!! i can’t believe we’ve never met bc the mentalist and the x files???? but i love talking to you and seeing all the thirsty pictures you send me!!! i hope you have an amazing year

julie!!!! okay again i can’t believe we have so many things in common, especially, and most importantly, our love for daisy. thank you so much for starting @aosedit with me and for letting me tell you my aos thoughts

kers!!!! you are so sweet and kind and even though we only have like 2 things in common i love talking to you! stumptowngifs would not exist without you!!!

derin!!! i was so nervous when i first messaged you but i’m so happy i did!!! you make the most amazing star wars gifsets!!!

a - g @ahskatano @amarakaran | @amirwilson | @andysambrg | @annelisters | @argentsallison | @bartonclinton | @beauregvrdlionett | @benoitblanc | @bishmonts | @bladesrunner | @bosemanchadwick | @chloedeckr | @cillianmurphy | @conorsleslie | @danslevy | @deckerschloe | @dindjharin | @dindjvrins | @ellies  @erinsdoherty | @gracechoi

h - n | @hannahjohn-kamen | @hannahsgrose | @hermionegrangers | @hollywoods | @iridescentides | @jacksheridan | @jemmafitzsimmons | @jodiewhittakerr | @juliesmolina | @konkey-bong | @kreeves | @lunas-lovegoods | @martacabreras | @momentofmemory | @moxyphinx | @natromanoffe | @nessa007 | @neverfindmegone | @niccolos | @nora-reid 

o - z | @obiwankenobies | @ourteeth | @pedros-pascal | @posh-with-2-fields | @rinasupremacy | @rory-amy | @samaraweaving | @sci-fi | @seanpenn | @sergeantbuckybarnes | @spookyblackwidow | @sukikorra | @teksasha | @thewonderwoman | @tonystarks | @timeslord | @timothyolyphant | @vicspedretti | @ww84

[respectablesentiment]

A hand tears at Dina’s hood, another grabs her ankle, dragging her back until she can kick it off. By the time she looks up, a runner has broken through the fence, Ellie is yelling and on her back, pushing and shoving and attempting to hold it away from her. -- prompt: abandonment, day 5 of elliedina week this is a sequel to day 4, please read 'warmth' first to understand the background. AU where Ellie was never bitten, until she is. set the day after the winter dance. Dina POV.

(day 1: ache) | (day 2: dawn) | (day 3: trouble) | (day 4: warmth)

or you can read ‘gone’ here:

gone

Dina gets the girl. Finally.

They dance long into the night, swaying together until the band packs up.

Ellie had always been so hard to wrangle, reluctant to show up and unwilling to join in. It seemed like all the tension melted from her body when their lips touched, her smile was warm and dopey, her eyes full of hope and disbelief, and all protests about dancing faded in her reverie.

Ellie’s arms around her were warm and protective, her cheek brushing against Dina’s was soft, and Dina just couldn’t stop kissing her.

It felt like a daydream.

Dina wanted to take it slow, not push too soon. They part that night with a tender smile and the promise of tomorrow. She spends most of the night lying awake, grinning to herself in the darkness. She’d cared for Ellie deeply for a long time, felt an instant connection to the awkward silent girl who showed up with tear-stained cheeks and a wistful smile.

There was something about her that stuck out, that both rattled and called Dina to her.

It never really made sense until she saw Ellie with Cat and then the confusing feelings swirling in her stomach crystallised into spikes.

It made her more determined to make things work with Jesse, but they knew that the love between them was just friendship and convenience. She’ll always be thankful for him and his calm presence, a steady ship in the storm, content to sit beside her silently on the anniversaries of darker days and eager to encourage her to follow her heart.

He eyes them warningly the next morning before patrol, running through his normal instructions with an additional plea to be safe.

The sky is clear and the day is bright.          

And then it isn’t.

A snowstorm takes them off the road, into an old library where they lose themselves for a couple of hours until the weather lightens.

Ellie is eager to move on, to finish running the route so they can return without worrying everyone.

They must have been in the eye of the storm then, unknowing and hopeful, ignorant to what was ahead of them.

The sky grew darker and the snow picked up obscuring their vision.

They leave their horses when they spot a lone runner ahead. Ellie slowly creeping forward to grab it. A broken street sign creaking in the wind.

When Ellie is halfway, she freezes.

It takes Dina a second longer to hear it, to registers the groans around them. Staggering footsteps. Then snarls and screeches.

She rushes forward just as Ellie rushes back, grasping at one another before sprinting onwards.

“Run,” Ellie says breathlessly. “We have to run.”

Dina is terrified, scrambling down a steep hill, losing her footing at times and sliding to keep momentum. They pass several houses, twisting and turning in the darkness, and her socks are wet from the creeks they splash through.

They’re so close, just behind them and beside them and ahead of them as they zigzag across the rooftops of buses.

“Here!” Ellie shouts just as Dina feels there’s no escape, vaulting over a fence.

Dina follows, heart racing as they search for a way forward.

There’s Infected slamming on the gate.

A narrow passageway down the side of the building in front of them, protected only by a chain link fence.

Dina pushes Ellie forward, following her closely as they run, the fence crumples under the weight, Ellie’s hand finds hers as they shimmy along, backs pressed to the wall as they attempt to avoid the hands grasping for them.

The fence crumples further, and before Dina realises they are crawling.

Forward, forward, forward.

A hand tears at Dina’s hood, another grabs her ankle, dragging her back until she can kick it off.

By the time she looks up, a runner has broken through the fence, Ellie is yelling and on her back, pushing and shoving and attempting to hold it away from her.

Dina shoots before she can think about it.

Pure instinct and adrenaline.

She helps Ellie to her feet, tugging her forwards as more come through the fence.

Ellie looks shaken, blood splattered across her face, but there’s no time.

“Come on, there’s too many,” Dina says. “Run, go!” She covers her, shooting a few as they make it through before continuing.

“Here, here!” Ellie yells, throwing a molotov at the Infected approaching from the other end of the hallway.

They take the door to their right, barricading it before taking a breath. The door slams and jumps unnervingly in front of them.

“There’s so many,” Ellie says quietly.

Dina is panting, her hands on her knees and her heart in her throat. “Where the hell did they come from?”

“Doesn’t matter, we gotta find a way out,” Ellie says, her jaw clenched as she moves forward.

Ellie peers through the gaps in the boarded-up windows, antsy and restless.

Dina searches for supplies and weapons as quickly as she can, tossing a steel bar to Ellie.

“Watch the windows,” Ellie says quietly, moments before a runner climbs through.

They put at least four down before they move forward again. It’s only then that Dina recognises where they are, the old gondola station.

Ellie curses under her breath. “Quick, help me with this,” she asks, shutting the door beside them and tipping one of the large lockers into place to hold it shut. “That won’t last long.”

“We gotta move,” Dina says, scanning their surroundings. “The window, we just need a boost.” She’s still desperately searching as they’re rushed again.

They work together to take care of it, aware of the splintering door behind them.

Together they push one of the gondolas back onto a trolley, moving it over to the window to climb over and out.

“Forward, forward,” Ellie chants. “Come on, go!”

There’s more outside than Dina can count, climbing over cars, rushing closer and closer in the snowstorm.

“Here, this door!” Ellie yells, shooting a runner as it comes almost come enough to grab her.

They get inside, lungs burning and Dina holds the door shut as Ellie fits a solid plank of wood in the barricade brackets.

“You okay?” Ellie asks, turning to her, her eyes are wide and fearful as she grips Dina’s shoulders to look her over. “Are you alright? Did they touch you?” Ellie demands, she pushes at Dina’s sleeves, pulls at the collar of her jacket to examine her neck.

It’s only then that Dina sees it.

The stain on Ellie’s sleeve, the tear in her jacket, the bite on her arm.

“You-” Dina stammers, heart cracking in her chest.

“Are you alright?” Ellie demands again.

Dina nods jerkily, clutching at Ellie. “Ellie-”

Tears streaming down her cheeks.

“We can’t stay here,” Ellie says, looking back to the door. “You need to keep moving.”

“Ellie,” Dina sobs brokenly.

Ellie is more focused on another doorway behind them, slipping out of Dina’s grasp to pile things against it. “Help me with this?” She asks, putting all of her weight behind moving a solid table in front of the door.

Dina doesn’t move, watching as Ellie successfully moves the table, stacking more furniture to barricade the smaller door before shifting her focus back to the main door.

Her eyes trace Ellie’s jaw line, the hair escaping her bun, the slope of her nose, the curve of her lips, the constellations of freckles she’d never be able to fully memorise.

“-okay? Dina? Dina!” Ellie pleads. “Are you listening?”

“I- yeah,” Dina says lamely, her thirst dry and her words quiet. Ellie’s eyes were the most beautiful shade of green she’d ever seen and she doesn’t know if she’s ever been able to tell her that.

“I need you to go, okay? You need to run. They’re just on this side for now and I can hold them off,” Ellie says, calm and resolute. There’s an edge behind her eyes that Dina’s never seen.

“I love you,” Dina says breathlessly, almost a whisper.

Ellie’s expression falters for a second before it becomes guarded once again.

“I never- I never got to tell you, I didn’t want to push too fast,” Dina says, stumbling over her words as they spill out of her, clinging to Ellie’s jacket. “But I do. I love you, as my best friend and more. I’m in love with you,” Dina continues, pressing herself against Ellie, her forehead against Ellie’s. “I don’t know for how long. You’re my favourite person, you’re wonderful and beautiful and kind and funny, and I love you.” The words rush out of her.

“Dina-”

“You’re so strong and so brave and I love you so much,” Dina says, the words are angry now and she smacks her fists against Ellie’s chest. “I love you so fucking much,” she sobs, hot tears streaming down her face.

“I’m so sorry, Dina,” Ellie says, acknowledging it finally. “I’m so sorry.” She clings to Dina in return, the embrace almost crushing.

The pounding grows louder.

“You have to go,” Ellie pleads. “I need you to go.”

“I can’t leave you,” Dina whimpers. “I can’t.”

“I’m already gone,” Ellie murmurs, the look in her eyes is indescribably and it only serves to make Dina cry harder.

“Ellie, no, please no,” Dina sobs, vision blurred by tears, heart lying somewhere near her feet.

“Go,” Ellie repeats solemnly. “Tell Joel and Tess that I love them, that I’m sorry, and that I’ll always be thankful for everything they’ve given me.” She cups Dina’s cheeks in her hands, looking at her searchingly.

Dina nods. “I promise,” she stammers.

“I love you too,” Ellie tells her, kissing Dina firmly. She squares her shoulders, the weight of the world bearing down on her. “I’ll hold them off,” she mutters, turning away. “It’s my turn.”

Dina barely catches her words, her heartbeat loud and punishing in her ears. She doesn’t move.

“Please, Dina,” Ellie pleads, looking back to her. “I’m already gone, just go, please!” Ellie pleads, the look in her eyes is indescribable and it only serves to make Dina cry harder.

“I love you,” Dina repeats brokenly, wiping at her face roughly. “I love you so much, forever.”

“I love you too,” Ellie replies.

Her words sound like an apology.

“Please go.”

So she does.  

[themadauthorshatter]

Alright, everyone, LET'S GET CHARLES HOME! I've been looking forward to this part, not even joking 😁😃

LIGHTNING FAST CATCH UP: Galeforce has acquired the means to get Charles home(thank goodness), while Henry tells Charles something that he didn't need to know in his current circumstances. Rather than make him come running toward Henry, it made Charles's resolve that much stronger.

For all the juicy details, catch up with the links provided:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 and revision

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Now then, LET'S GO!!!

We start off with Charles again, but in a TV perspective, POV shot where he repeatedly blinks blinks on a dark room, each time resulting in Henry seemingly teleporting closer like a vampire or like Five, minus the blink sound he makes.

At some point, Charles blinks and Henry disappears. Charles looks around and finds Henry sitting next to him and tucking some hair out of his face and then reaches forward to civer his eyes.

What's out of this perspective? Well, I'll tell you. It's a close up of Henry holding Charles, who's got his hands tied above him(wink, wink for astute viewers).

Henry leans close to Charles go whisper something in gis ear, but we don't head it because a slap in the face wakes up Charles.

It's the next day, Charles is still gagged and restrained, and that slap did nothing but send him into a small panic.

Who slapped him? Right, who's been watching him for a while.

"Morning," Right says. "Sleep well?"

Charles glares at him instead.

Right counters with a bored look. "Cute. Think you're doing yourself any favors?"

Charles only continues to glare, because it's all he can do.

Right mimes punching him and Charles gives possibly the worst flinch anyone can see- well, anyone except Right, who chuckles at his reaction.

"Not so tough now, are you?"

Charles kicks at Right, but Right grabs his foot in his cybernetic hand.

Right narrows his eyes(eye, I guess), and tightens his grip on Charles's foot, even to hurt, even through the dress shoes on.

Charles yelps behind the tape and tries pulling his foot free, but only results in Right further tightening his grip.

"Better stop that now, kid. It's not gonna help you."

That's when the door opens and Henry walks in, gesturing for Right to politely leave him alone with Charles.

Right drops Charles's foot and nods, obliging to leave the two alone.

Once the door closes and Right's gone, Henry turns to Charles and holds up a bandaged hand, sciwling at him.

"I guess your bite's worse than your bark."

Charles glares at Henry and nods at the duct tape still in his mouth before raising both eyebrows; 'I'd do it again, if I could. Try me.'

Henry holds a hand against his forehead and sighs, shaking his head.

"When will you ever learn, Charles? Really, when?"

Charles turns his head slightly and gives a, "Hm?"

Henry strides toward the wall next to Charles, and Charles, knowing there's nothing cybernetic about Henry, kicks at him.

He gets electrocuted for it, Henry watching in what seems to be disappointment and that 'you're making me do this' narcissism.

Charles screams behind the tape and convulses for a while before Henry stops.

Charles groans as it stops, his head hanging even as Henry approaches, lifts his chin, and snaps his fingers to get his attention.

"Charles? Hey, stay with me. We need to talk."

Charles only gives him a weary look before weakly glaring.

Henry fights the urge to roll his eyes and moves both his hands to either side of Charles's face.

"Think this is going to do anything? How long have you been here? And when will you learn that you're not leaving?"

Charles shakes his head to get Henry off him, but Henry holds on and only leans closer.

"I told you before, Charles. You're not leaving, so drop the idea that you will."

Charles headbutts him, which makes Henry stumble back and holds his now bleeding nose.

Henry glares and raises his fist.

Charles inhales sharply and flinches, his entire body tensing as he waits for a punch or to be electrocuted again.

Neither happen and Henry walks around Charles and holds him from behind, arms around his chest and waist.

"You need to stop," Henry says. "All your doing is hurting yourself for nothing."

Charles wriggles to get Henry off him, but it doesn't work, evidenced by Henry wrapping his arms tighter and holding Charles close enough that Henry is physically against Charles, like his chest is touching Charles's back.

Regardless, it makes Henry snicker. "Guess you're not listening." He's silent for a second before an idea comes to him.

Henry lets Charles go and walks back to the wall, where he pushes a button that releases Charles fully.

Charles falls and fumbles around for a little bit before Henry speaks up.

"Before you decide to attack me, I want you to know that this is your only chance to get out." Henry nods to the panel used to get in and out of the cell. "I won't stop you from trying. If you get out, I'll take you back to Earth and surrender myself and the clan to the government."

Charles's eyes widen and Henry leans against the wall, nodding again at the panel before watching Charles shakily approach it and bring his hand to it.

He's seen people open the door using the panel. Hell, Henry SHOWS him the pattern used to open the door. He's seen it, he was paying attention, but he doesn't fully remember it.

Charles uses the pattern he's seen everyone else use, but the door stays shut. His eyes widen as his chest hollows, shaking his head and fighting a sob as he tries again. Nothing.

Henry smirks as Charles tries again and again to open the door, using both hands, using more than one finger, even using his knuckle, all the while Charles is becoming so upset and frustrated that he actually bursts into tears and just starts trying random patterns.

Henry gives a sympathetic hum. "That's unfortunate. Guess you don't have the right fingerprints."

Charles charges at Henry, but Henry quickly pushes himself off the wall, grabs and spins Charles around, throwing him to the ground, putting his shoe on his neck to keep him down; Henry doesn't stomp on Charles's neck or grind his shoe in, it's just more of a threat than anything.

Charles still tries to get up, though, shouting at Henry behind the tape. Henry quickly kneels down, remives his shoe, and holds Charles down by his wrists from on top of him.

Charles continues to try to break free, until Henry pushes his wrists down and leans closer to Charles.

"I gave you your chance, didn't I? You. Are not. Leaving. I'll make sure you don't."

Charles, even though his eyes are puffy and red, glares at Henry, non-verbally telling him to go to Hell.

Henry simply brushes some hair out of his face before restraining him once more.

"Make sure you don't bark or bite for a while. Don't want the General brining the army with him."

With that Henry leaves.

Charles sighs and rests his head against his arm, staring at the panel as he lets tears fall from his eyes.

TIME JUMPCUT TO EARTH!!!! Approximately a month has past, maybe less. The prototype has been completed, tested, and approved, with a team of Galeforce, Canterbury, and maybe three others joining, maybe less. Meanwhile, Henry has continued to mindfuck Charles, who hopes Henry gets fucked over by the clan.

On Earth, it is decided Rupert, Victoria, and Amelia Esteban. The twins have volunteered to go, but were immediately dismissed; Galeforce orders Victoria to keep an eye on them, so they don't leave or try sneaking with them.

With the sapphire and guns and ammo loaded, they head off to a take-off point and set off to get Charles back; you'll see what the guns are for in a minute😉.

With Charles, he's getting showered and cleaned up again, but this time is given his old clothes back, which have been washed. He also gets a hair trim, because Henry, who's cutting his hair, likes him better with the short. He's a little more bruised from getting aggressive and trying to be defiant, and his lips are chapped raw by the tape, wrists raw as well from being restrained.

Speaking of, he gets put in a simple pair of hand cuffs this time, his hands in front of him.

Once it's all said and done, Henry holds Charles's face and caresses his cheeks, noting the very upset and hollow look he has.

"Leave everything to me. It'll be over before you know it, and then it'll be me and you here. No more cells, after today."

Charles lowers Henry's hands, closes his eyes, and takes a breath as he leans up to kiss Henry, which shocks him beyond all reason before returning it, holding the back of Charles's head. TV perspective, we don't see how passionate it is, we just see Charles's hands on Henry's chest, which stray to his coat(HMMMMMM!?)

After a little while, there's a knock on the door and they pull away.

"Henry?" Ellie calls from the other side of the door. "They're here."

Henry sighs and turns to a still slightly panting Charles, smirking at him.

"Show time."

CUT TO A LOUNGE AREA NEAR THE 'EXIT,' THE ONE FOR THE GOVERNMENT, WHERE THE DESTROYER IS WAITING!!!!

Everyone is tense. They're all armed, all ready to rittle the other side with holes, if need be.

Beside Galeforce, Canterbury, Rupert, and Amelia is the crate, where the replica sits inside, still in one piece(thank goodness).

Before anyone can make any introductions, Ellie and Henry strut their way in with Charles in toe, eyes on the floor.

When I said Charles is bruised, I mean there's a bruise under his eye, on the bridge on his nose, the side of his jaw, cheek, some on his throat(because he got mouthy), and his lip is split.

At the sight of him, Galeforce and Rupert almost race toward him.

Big mistake because Charles flinches back while Toppats aim at them with semi-automatics.

Henry also pulls Charles closer to him, smug-ass smirk growing.

Rupert goes for his gun, but Galeforce stops him.

"Don't," he says under his breath.

Rupert backs down and both rejoining Canterbury and Victoria.

Satisfied with the cooperation, Henry takes his place with the Toppats, his hand on Charles's shoulder.

"General."

It surprises the group that Henry doesn't sign to them, but Galeforce keeps his eyes locked on him.

"Henry."

Henry nods. "Been a while. You look good."

Rupert, fed up with Henry for getting his friend killed, other friend kidnapped by the Toppat Clan(Dave's free, btw, he's just at the home he and Rupert share because he's scared to go out), getting screwed over countless times, and seeing his best friend injured, hunted, kidnapped, and tortured, snaps at him.

"Shut it! Give Charles back or we'll blow this station to kingdom come with you, this clan, and this stupid gem inside it!"

"Price, stand down," Amelia barks.

Rupert whips his head to her, Henry, and back again, biting his tongue as he, indeed, backs off.

Galeforce nods at them both and taps the crate with the replica sapphire inside. "Before we waste any more of your time, here's the sapphire, like you asked."

Henry's smirk drops slightly at the fun being over, but he nods again.

"Right." He sighs and turns to Charles, who's staring at the floor with his fists clenched. "A deal's a deal."

As Toppats take the crate, Henry removes the handcuffs and stands back, letting Charles rub his wrists, once the metal's gone.

"It was fun, having Charles here."

That's when Henry draws a gun and aims at Galeforce.

The group jump right into action, drawing their guns as well.

Before any shots are fired, Charles shouts as he takes Chekov's knife out of his sleeve and slams it into Henry's side, making Henry scream as he fires the gun at the ceiling and falls.

HELL. BREAKS. LOOSE.

Ellie, Reginald, and numerous other Toppats race to Henry's side, Right and the other Toppats draw their guns and start shooting, and the group makes a run for it, Charles following.

No time to take cover and continue because Canterbury takes a bullet to the calf, Amelia gets into a tussle, and Rupert and Galeforce concert them both and Charles, who had to get the bullet out of Canterbury's calf with the knife(don't worry, he wiped it off as much as he could, before doing so.).

Yeah. There's a little bit of a firefight, which even includes a Toppat aiming at Galeforce before Charles races in front of him.

The Toppat decides, 'Fuck all,' and aims at Charles, but Henry shouts at him to hold his fire.

The team quickly make a run for it, the Toppat shooting Charles anyway, and barely missing him.

Keyword: BARELY, evidenced by Charles holding a bleeding ear.

They get to the Destroyer right as they're being shot at, loading up and leaving, but not without a paying gift, courtesy of Charles:

A shot to one of their satellites, which breaks it.

Kind of a rushed escape, I apologize, I'm not good at impromptu escapes.😅

Regardless, while the team finally takes a breather on the ride back to Earth, and Amelia wraps Canterbury's wound, Charles looks out one of the windows and watches as the station shrinks further into the distance.

Rupert sees him staring and gives a small, nervous laugh. "You good back there, Charles? You've been quiet."

Charles rigidly turns and stares at all of them, though Canterbury's kind enough to give a wave.

"Is... is this... real?"

They all turn to him, even Galeforce, who gestures Rupert to take control of flying for a little while.

Galeforce leaves his seat and throws his arms around Charles, who tenses, and both find out that the other is violently trembling.

"It's real. You're going home, son."

The pure, unbridled reflief Charles feels is immeasurable as he lets out a shuddering breath, which turns into laughter before he passes out.

Back at the orbital station, Henry's done getting patched up and his resting in his room, with an arm over his eyes as he lies on his bed.

Ellie's leaning against the wall next to him, uneasy, but still there to make sure he's alright.

"At least we got the sapphire."

Henry moves his hand until it's over one eye and, after a moment, gives her a small smile and nods.

"Sorry about Charles, by the way."

Henry sighs and sits up, grunting. "He'll be back. The General's going to see that his most experienced pilot has all the best qualities of a thief or a criminal and will leave Charles alone, with no one to run back to, but the clan."

Ellie huffs/snorts at that. "You really want the guy who stabbed you to be a member of the clan?"

"What else is he going to do?"

They exchange smirks and get calls from Sven via ear pieces in their top hats, though Henry's is on his desk.

"Chief? Right Hand Lady? You might want to come to the treasurie."

Ellie and Henry's smirks drop and we cut to the two arriving and weaving through a crowd of pale faced Toppats.

Once they reach the front, Ellie gasps and Henry's eyes widen.

The replica is broken, shattered.

TV perspective, we see the Toppat that grazed Charles shot twice, the second shot being the graze. The FIRST shot, however, made the bullet break though the crate and get lodged it the replica, which was then dropped by accident as it was being put away; they were putting it in a high container.

Everyone turns to Henry, who's wide eyed and clenching a shaking fist.

He slowly looks up and at the Emerald he'd stolen with the Clan, and asks them all a question.

"Where is he?"

He doesn't have the sapphire, and probably won't be having it, but he'll have something else instead to make up for it:

Charles.

[kaimelia]

Heartbeats (Ch 2)

a/n: ahhhh thank you for all of the love on ch 1! I have a bunch of this already written so updates will be pretty consistent for the next few chapters!

here’s a link to ch 1: https://afsalta.tumblr.com/post/646116480826654720/heartbeats-ch1

--------------

"So, your tests showed that you have Stage 3 Metastatic Osteosarcoma, which has spread to your lungs. We're going to get you started on chemotherapy soon and make a surgical plan." He felt a squeeze on his hand yet continued to stare blankly ahead. If the oncologist was still talking, he couldn't hear anything.

"I thought osteosarcoma only occurred in young people," Amelia muttered, bringing Link out of his thoughts.

"It's definitely more common among young adults, but it still occurs among adults." Link stared at the nameplate on the desk in front of him, tracing the outline of each letter with his eyes. He could feel the oncologist's gaze on him. "We want to start chemo as soon as possible. I think that we start with four rounds of chemo and see what effect it has." He nodded slowly. "I know that this is scary, so I'll give you two some time. Come find me if you have any questions." She exited the room, leaving them alone. Amelia shifted uncomfortably, thinking about how this was their third time in this situation in the past week. Sitting in a doctor's office, faced with terrible news and neither one of them knowing what to say.

"Do you want to go home?" He shook his head.

"I can't go home. I can't look at Scout and smile like everything's okay."

"We have to tell him eventually," she whispered, watching as the orthopedic surgeon lifted himself out of the chair, taking an extra moment to gain his balance. He suddenly felt more uneasy than before, as if receiving a diagnosis had worsened his condition. She stood up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"To find Jo. I need to drink." She sighed as he walked away, her hand falling to her side, and she whimpered softly to herself. Link made his way down the hall, hoping that his coworkers couldn't see the limp in his leg that was paining him more than before. "Jo," he muttered, tugging at her arm once he approached her. She turned around at the sound of his voice and smiled widely.

"Hey, what's going on with your face?"

"I need to drink." Jo pulled out her phone, clicking on the screen and showing it to him.

"It's not even noon." He raised his eyebrows, hoping that his best friend would understand the expression on his face. "Okay. Give me five minutes." He grudgingly followed her into the attendings' lounge, silently leaning against the counter while waiting for her to change out of her scrubs. They walked to the bar in silence, Link ordering a beer as she fell into a booth. "What's going on?" He took a sip of the beer, leaning back against the cushion behind him.

"I have cancer." Jo's face fell across from him, and he avoided her gaze. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to get drunk and forget about the fact that I'm dying." She reached for his hand across the table, a motion of comfort.

"Alright."

--------------

Jo dropped him off a few hours later; her arm wrapped tightly around her friend's waist to steady him as they climbed the short walkway leading to the front door. Amelia opened it after Jo knocked. "He's drunk. Like, really drunk."

"I'm not that drunk," he interjected, his words slurring together. Jo could see the neurosurgeon's chin quiver slightly before she reached out for her husband's arm. "He told me. About the cancer. I'm really sorry, and if you guys need anything, I'm always here." Amelia nodded, thanking the woman for bringing Link home. He grinned at her widely after the door was closed.

"You look really pretty." She frowned at his words and dropped his wrist.

"Don't. Go to our bedroom and sleep. I have to go pick Scout up from school, and I don't want him seeing you like this." Link laughed at her, stumbling towards their bedroom and using the walls of the hallway for support. She bit her lip and turned around, quickly grabbing the car keys and slamming the door behind her. She connected her phone to the Bluetooth of the car, clicking the call button on Maggie's contact before starting the vehicle.

"Amelia?"

"Stage 3 metastatic osteosarcoma spread to his lungs. Feels like a fucking death sentence," she mumbled, backing out of the driveway. "And then Link goes out drinking and comes home slurring his speech, barely able to walk down the hallway. And now I have to pick my son up from school and pretend like nothing's wrong!" She could imagine Maggie's face on the other end of the phone; her lips pursed tightly and the corners of her eyes swollen with tears.

"Amelia, I'm so sorry-"

"I'm just so pissed off. Of course, this happens when our lives are finally settling down. I mean, we just got settled into the house, Scout's finally used to going to school, and now my husband's going to die!" Her voice grew increasingly loud as she spoke, stopping the car suddenly at a red light.

"Amelia, he's not going to-"

"Tell me something. Anything, please. I need to think about something else." The air was silent for a moment.

"Winston still wants to move to Boston. I told him I can't leave; you and Link need me, Mer needs me, but he's really insistent."

"Do you want to go?" Another moment of silence.

"I'm not sure. My family's here. I don't want to leave you all," Maggie spoke, her voice quieter than before. Amelia suddenly felt a bit of guilt, knowing that Maggie wouldn't leave with the knowledge of Link's cancer. "But, I also love Winston. He wants to be near his family."

"Sounds like you're going back to long-distance," Amelia mumbled, pulling into the school parking lot. "I gotta go. Come over for dinner sometime this week?"

"Of course." Amelia parked the car and disconnected her phone, bringing it up to her ear. "If you need anything, I'm here."

"Thank you." She shoved her phone into her pocket, joining the crowd of other parents waiting for their children. The school doors opened a minute later, and she immediately spotted her son running out with his bright blue backpack.

"Mamma!" he shouted, speeding forward into her arms. Amelia kneeled and embraced him tightly.

"Hi, buddy!" She smiled widely at him, glancing down at his hands. "What happened!" The boy grinned and held his hands out, his fingers covered in blue scribbles.

"I was showing Harrison the veins on his fingers, so we traced them with a marker!" Amelia cocked her head to the side and rustled her son's hair, waving to another parent walking by.

"Looks like someone's going to need some hand sanitizer." She took his hand, leading him to the car and helping him up into his car seat. He always complained about it, saying he was a big boy, and since Ellis didn't need her car seat anymore, he didn't need his. The mother chuckled at his claims, pretending to block her ears while moving into the driver's seat. He excitedly told her about his day and how his teacher let him lead the line because he finished his work first.

"Momma?" He eventually asked, kicking his legs out against the back of her seat.

"Mhm?"

"Can we have pizza for dinner?" Amelia smiled at him in the rearview window.

"Tonight is supposed to be mac and cheese."

"Daddy was sad yesterday, and Daddy loves pizza." She choked back a sob at her son's awareness, suddenly conscious of what her son didn't know. "And we can watch Toy Story!"

"I think that would be wonderful."

--------------

Amelia masked her annoyance when her husband came out into the living room later that evening, complaining about his headache. He'd slumped down onto the couch and pulled Scout into his embrace, acting as if he wasn't dying and as if he hadn't spent the day getting drunk like a stupid teenager. They'd both smiled widely as Toy Story began to play on the television, happily eating pizza and amusing their son with high-pitched voices and tickles on his stomach. After the movie, Amelia looked over at her husband. He nodded slowly, as if unsure of what he was saying himself, yet somehow understanding what she was asking.

"Scout, there's something we need to talk to you about." He perked up quickly, nibbling on a pizza crust, his toy Buzz resting in his lap. Link sat up behind him and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You know how Daddy and I have been going to a lot of appointments yesterday and today?"

"With Dr. Bailey!" Her eyes turned upwards in a smile.

"Some of them, yes." She took her son's hand in hers. "We have to go to the doctor's because Daddy is sick." Scout turned around to look up at his father.

"You're sick?" Link nodded at him, biting the inside of his cheek. "How?"

"Well, my body is sick. And I have to get medicine and maybe have surgery soon." Amelia frowned when his voice cracked.

"Like the flu?" She shook her head.

"No, Daddy has something called cancer. The doctors are going to do everything to make Daddy feel better. But, he's gonna be tired and feel sick a lot." Scout sniffled, a few tears escaping from his eyes. The neurosurgeon looked up to see the same look on Link's face, his own tears rolling down his cheeks. "And, if there's anything you want to know, you can ask us."

"Is Daddy going to die?" he cried, his tiny blue eyes pleading for an answer. Amelia took his hand.

"We don't know, Scout. We have to see if Daddy feels better when he gets the medicine." Scout fell against his father's chest, burying his face into the man's t-shirt. Link wrapped his arms around his son, leaning back into the couch.

"I'm right here, okay?" They remained in that position for some time until Scout had tired himself out from crying and fallen asleep in Link's arms. Amelia watched as her husband looked down at their son, his hand rubbing soothing patterns on the boy's forehead. He made eye contact with her. "I'm sorry. That I got drunk, I just needed to forget for a few hours."

"I'm not going to say it's okay, you know how I feel when you drink a lot, but I understand why." She sighed, pulling the knitted blanket off the back of the couch and tossing it over her husband and son. "You do realize that once you start chemo, you can't drink." He raised his eyebrows.

"I know." The air between them felt heavy. "He's already so sad. He doesn't even truly understand what's happening and he's terrified. He's only four," Link whispered, not looking away from their sleeping son.

"You're his dad. He practically worships you." They both breathed out soft laughs. "He wanted to get pizza for dinner because he noticed you looked sad." Link turned his head, making eye contact with her. "He's a lot more observant than we think. He just needs us to be with him." The father nodded in agreement. "Are we sleeping out here tonight?" she asked, adjusting a pillow behind her. Link laid down further into the couch.

"We should put him in his own bed," Link said softly, careful not to raise his voice too loudly. Amelia smirked, knowing that Scout wouldn't end up in his bed.

"I'll go get us some more blankets."