#silence after death

[thedo0zyslider]

And The Birds Stopped Singing - 3k words - Limited Life Fic

Jimmy dies first again and he hates it. He hates how familiar it is, he hates the stupid afterlife that always comes with death. Luckily he is not left to wallow for long. Friends join him, and comfort ensues.

A03 Link

The last thing Jimmy heard was the cracking of his body, his bones and organs as he hit the ground. The last things he felt were the familiar sensation of falling, of breaking bones, and of breathing your last breath. It was a sickening feeling, but it was even more sick how natural it felt to him. How natural and familiar and almost comforting it felt. How it felt to die. 

He thought he heard the lightning strike, but he hoped he heard wrong. He wanted the last thing he heard to be Joel’s screams and Grian’s laughter upon him falling. He wouldn’t hear either of them for a while, so he wanted to keep the memory, to replay the sounds of their voices in his head for a little while.  

The next thing Jimmy knew he was alive again in a sense, gasping as he jolted upwards. He was standing now instead of falling, grass being flattened under his shoes. He was alive, in the sense that he was also dead. No breath came from his lungs, though he was sure his lungs were there still. It was kind of liberating actually, to not need to worry about breathing. It made swimming easier, but he’d given up on swimming after death. Usually it didn't go well, nor was it very fun to swim by yourself. 

He’d given up on doing a lot of things in the afterlife really. In Third Life he’d wandered around almost aimlessly, marveling at the world. No one's bases had been there and the land was still intact. No explosion holes covered the desert, all the caves were untouched and there were animals aplenty. The server looked just as it had when they first arrived, untouched, beautiful, and unbloodied. Jimmy was glad though, he didn’t want to see blood stained grass while he waited. 

He’d stopped doing anything really after his final death in Last Life, knowing this place held nothing. It was only a passage between worlds, a place to wait it out until someone won the game. They’d all go back home after that, if they had homes. He wasn’t sure if BigB or Martyn had a home server to go back to, but he hoped so. The only other option seemed to be a void, from what Martyn said, and Jimmy didn’t want to know how he knew that. Martyn was strange like that, and part of Jimmy hoped his friend died next, just so he’d have some entertainment sooner than later. 

Jimmy needed entertainment badly, because without that he had only his thoughts. And his thoughts were not being very kind right now. He didn’t want to focus on the fact that he’d died first again, and all the negative emotions it brought. It was hard to ignore them though, as the negativity was crashing over him like ocean waves against a shore. 

The whole ordeal was just so upsetting. Jimmy had thought he was doing good , and he had been. The first few weeks had only brought a few deaths to him, but after that something had changed. Jimmy had begun dying left and right, and to the stupidest things as well! He couldn't even die in a fight, it had to be fall damage or one of his allies literally backstabbing him! He’d gotten out fist again due to fall damage for goodness sakes!

It upset Jimmy the more he thought about it, which eventually gave way to anger. Why was it always him who died first? What did he ever do to deserve this! It wasn’t fair! He was always the laughing stock, always the joke, and he was tired of it. 

Jimmy tore the sunglasses off his face, a sour feeling beginning to stir in his gut as he stared down at them. Those stupid sunglasses he always got made fun of for. He snarled to himself, grip tightening around the object. He threw them onto the ground, a spur of the moment impulse. He stopped on the lenses for extra measure, watching as little black specs were crushed into the grass under his feet. Jimmy was glad he was alone for the time being, not wanting anyone else to see his fits of rage. Though breaking something did help relive the feelings a bit. 

He let out one final huff, staring at the destroyed sunglasses. He was already starting to feel a bit bad and it’d only been a few seconds. Maybe it’s because they’d been a gift from Joel, who’d been so excited about their Bad Boys outfits. Yeah, that was definitely why. And thinking about poor Joel was just making Jimmy feel worse. 

The blonde let out a small huff, before dramatically lowering himself to the ground, almost falling backwards and hitting his head. He sat beside the remains of his stupid sunglasses, arms hugging his knees as he stared off into space. He rested his head on his arms, letting the sounds of chirping birds fill his ears as his thoughts began to wander, the waves of negativity starting to subside after his little outburst. 

It was lonely, however long Jimmy sat there. He didn’t know how long, as time tended to lose its meaning in this place. It was kinda ironic, how time meant nothing in a game about time. 

He thought about Joel first, he thought about how the brunette was so dead set on protecting him. Joel had tried to protect both his teammates, even threatening to kill while on green. Jimmy had never seen his friend have such a fierce protectiveness before. Joel's eyes were usually full of bloodlust, not a love for his fellow players. It warmed Jimmy’s heart a little bit, to be so deeply cared about. The protective instincts were just as scary as Joel on red life, which was a plus. He thought of Joel’s screams when he slipped, the fear and desperation in his voice. Jimmy thought about the look in Joel’s eyes as he fell. That hurt a little to think about, and it made him feel worse about breaking the sunglasses. 

When his thoughts eventually shifted to Grian it came with a whole mixed bag of emotions. First was how he missed Grain as much as he missed Joel. Jimmy’s heart was aching for both his teammates right now, an ache so hard his chest started to hurt a bit. Then he wondered why he missed Grain, as the man had tried to kick him out of the Bad Boys. There wasn’t even a red name and the avian had already been trying to ditch him! He was also angry at Grian, despite missing him. He was mad the avian had killed him so many times, causing him to get to where he was now. The last time he heard Grian’s voice was him laughing at Jimmy’s final death. The blonde would never understand why his friend seemed to get a sort of sick joy from him dying first. 

He wondered what would’ve happened if he’d gone solo and never joined the Bad Boys at all. Grian certainly wouldn’t have taken so many hours from him. Maybe he would’ve still been alive, if he’d gone solo. Maybe he wouldn’t be sitting here right now, maybe he’d be down there, with his friends, running around the server. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be a Bad Boy. The group was going to fall apart in the end, everyone had known that, so why had he joined it in the first place? He could’ve gone solo, only looked out for himself, and he wouldn’t be sitting here now in this stupid leather jacket with broken sunglasses next to him. Maybe he would still be alive. 

Jimmy sighed after a moment, watching the grass sway in the breeze. He felt bad about those thoughts too, considering how happy Jimmy joining the group had made Joel. Not to mention it had been fun being a Bad Boy, even if he didn’t live for long.

He’d elected to not think after that, letting the sounds of nature wash over him until someone showed up. Jimmy was tired of feeling bad, so he just wouldn’t feel bad. Simple as that. He’d sit here, waiting for someone to join him, and wouldn’t feel bad. 

The blonde didn’t have to wait for long thankfully. Soon enough there was a thud behind him, presumably someone being comically thrown onto the grass. He heard more sounds, like whoever it was was scrambling to their feet in a hurry. Jimmy didn’t bother to turn and look back. The other person would either leave him or sit next to him, and he didn’t really care which one they did. 

“Hey buddy.” A familiar voice comes from Jimmy’s right, and he knows immediately who has joined him in death. 

Skizz sits next to him, lowering himself to the ground more slowly than Jimmy did. He gives the broken sunglasses a glance, before gently picking up the pieces and moving them further away. He probably wanted to save the once beloved item from further harm, as well as to hide them better, the remains now in a patch of taller grass. Jimmy is glad he did, not wanting his fellow Bad Boys to see the broken glasses when his teammates eventually join them. 

They were sitting rather close together, but not really touching. The most contact they had Skizz’s arm was brushing against his side. It was probably meant to be comforting or something like that knowing Skizz. Jimmy appreciated it, ignoring the urge to lean closer. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but it felt like hours. Jimmy lifted his head of his arms, sneaking a few glances at his friend. 

Skizz seemed to be lost in thought as well, blue eyes focusing on nothing as he stared into the distance. Jimmy wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about his teammates? What had happened with those teammates? Why had Skizz joined him so soon? The other had also been low on time, his early death inevitable, Jimmy was just curious of how it had happened. 

Skizz also had another outfit change, the universe seemingly tired of him running around almost naked. Jimmy didn’t particularly care, the red boxer shorts had been quite funny. He had worried about accidentally ogling Skizz during any conversation after the outfit swap, though he doubted the latter would’ve minded much. He didn’t have to worry about that now, as Skizz was half clothed after death. He still wore only the red boxes as bottoms but his normal sleeveless suit had returned. It looked like Skizz had taken the time to unbutton the suit jacket and undershirt, leaving him clothed yet still showing off some skin. Jimmy held back a huff of amusement, noting how much of a Scar move that was. 

Skizz had probably felt Jimmy staring at him, as he looked over at the blonde. “Hey bud!” The brunette muttered softly. Jimmy smiled in response, uncurling himself until he sat cross legged. “Hi.” He chirped, leaning against Skizz’s shoulder. “How’d you die?” 

It took a moment for a response to come, but Jimmy waited patiently, knowing painfully well how hard it was to talk about dying . “Let Etho kill me.” Skizz muttered, leaning against the blonde in return. “I didn’t have much time left. I told them TIES gets to the final three…” 

Jimmy hummed in response as Skizzle went quiet, waiting to see if his friend had more to share. He didn’t need to recount his death, gaze falling to the grass once more. The whole world knows how that went…. The bitter thoughts resurfaced for a moment, more directed at him than his teammates this time. Why had he been so stupid? How had he even fallen!? 

“Do you think they’ll make it?” Skizz’s voice saved Jimmy from another downward spiral of thoughts. His tone was so quiet, so gentle, and the blonde wasn’t sure he’d said anything until he repeated himself. 

“Do you think they’ll get to the final three?” 

Jimmy gave a thoughtful yet reassuring chirp. “Yeah, one of ‘em will.” He said, looking at Skizz. The other's face was twisted with worry, concern for his teammates, twisted with love for them. Part of him felt sick, sick with a desire for someone to think about him like that again. For him to not be the laughstock, for people to be concerned instead of laugh when he died first, even if it was inevitable. It was selfish really, to want something like that, but Jimmy couldn’t help it. He was always selfless, always cared and always giving in every life, it was time he indulged himself a little bit.  

“Etho will probably make it. He’s quite the survivor.” The blonde pushed away the brewing storm inside him once more, continuing the conversation after a short pause. “Impulse could as well” 

“No faith in your fellow rancher?” Skizz teased, lightning the dull mood slightly. 

“Nah.” Jimmy replied, smiling at the thought of Tango and all his awkward survival skills. “The universe made him my soulmate for a reason.” Skizz laughed beside him, one maybe too loud for the moment. Jimmy didn’t mind, liking the way his joy filled the silence of the afterlife. 

The silence was always more bearable with someone, and Skizz made it more bearable than Jimmy would’ve thought. They chatted on and off for a while, stretches of even more silence filling the space between every small conversation. It was full of talks about nothing, about the game and their teammates, about who they thought would win. Skizz wanted one of his teammates to win, naturally, but if that was unlikely he’d be happy with a Bdubs win. That made sense, since Bdubs was his group's only consistent ally.  

Jimmy said he didn’t care who won, as long as it wasn’t Grian again. The statement was true, but part of him wanted to see Joel win. He wanted his fellow Bad Boy to claw his way to victory if he had too. Joel deserved a win in Jimmy’s opinion. He’d been loyal, an unwavering force at the blonde's side, and surely loyalty had to count for something. It counted before, so it should still count now. And maybe it was another selfish thought, maybe he wanted Joel to win his honor. But could you blame him? He’d died first four times in a row, so it was only natural to want to claim any victory, even the small ones. 

Yet the canary was still an omen of death, a curse that never affected just one singular person. And Jimmy needed to learn to keep his big mouth shut. 

A new person had joined them, as the shuffling of grass under shoes was heard once more. Jimmy again didn’t turn to look, but Skizz did, his weight moving off of the blonde’s side as he sat up properly. Skizz called out Joel’s name in greeting, and Jimmy felt his stomach sink. His fellow Bad Boy was here, and it felt like his stupid thoughts had been the cause of it. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually true, considering how much the universe liked watching him suffer.  

“JIMMY!” Joel's loud scream filled the silence, slicing through it like a knife. Startled, Jimmy finally turned around, wings flaring out in surprise and almost whacking Skizzle in the face. He'd honestly forgotten about those until now, and gave the man next to him an apologetic chirp. 

The apology quickly turned into a chirp of surprise, a small body barreling into him. Joel clutched onto his jacket tightly, pulling Jimmy closer to him. "I was gonna sacrifice myself for you! You idiot! You didn’t have to die first again!" He yelled, shaking the blonde roughly. Skizz, who had moved out of the way, watched the scene in front of him with bewildered amusement. 

Jimmy could tell Joel wasn't actually angry at him, despite the rather aggressive way he was being throttled around. Joel was more upset than mad, if the slight tremble in voice said anything. Joel stopped shaking him after a minute, noticing that his friend was becoming a bit dizzy from the motion. He needed Jimmy conscious to have a conversation after all. 

“What do you mean you were gonna sacrifice yourself for me!?” Jimmy exclaimed, grabbing Joel’s shoulders and giving him a small shake of his own. The thought of Joel, of anyone , dying for him made the blonde nauseous. He hated dying first, but he’d rather it be him than anyone else, no matter what selfish thoughts ran through his head. 

“I was going to let you take my time!” Joel said. His voice was now trembling fully, and his gaze glistened with pain. The effect Jimmy's death had on him was evident, and the blonde suddenly believed one of the many things Skizz had told him about Joel during the silence. The brunette in front of him probably had lost his mind and gone on a killing spree, if his face and early death said anything. 

“I wouldn’t want to kill you Joel!” Jimmy shot back, giving him another shake before letting go of the smaller mans shoulders. 

“Well luckily you didn’t have to.” Joel said, grabbing the sides of Jimmy’s face. Their foreheads were bonked together gently, Jimmy leaning into the touch a little bit. He was sure Joel would act like this hadn’t happened later, wanting to keep up the Bad Boy image, the thought causing Jimmy to smile faintly. “I missed you.” Joel muttered quietly, so Skizzle couldn’t hear. Jimmy chirped softly in agreement, letting Joel remove his hands from his face and wrap him a tight hug. He hugged Joel just as tightly in return, very content to sit there for a little while longer. 

They moved away after a few minutes, Jimmy going to sit in his original place. Joel sat to his left now, with Skizz still on the right. The latter was comfortably leaning on Jimmy once more, and Joel was almost sitting on top of him. The blonde’s yellow wings were wrapped around the back of them, placing all three in a comfortable cocoon of warmth. 

“How’s Grian?” Jimmy asked softly, glancing at Joel. 

His friend sighed, sunglasses finally being moved to the top of his head. “Still alive and kickin. Left for the Nosey Neighbors before I was even dead. He did give me some time though” Jimmy frowned deeply at that information, the knowledge that Grian had tried to get rid of both of them. 

“He’ll be here soon.” Skizz muttered from the right. 

“Really?” Joel asked, craning his neck to give Skizz a skeptical glance. 

“Yeah,” Skizzle said, voice full of confidence. “He flies too close to the sun, he always has.” 

Jimmy took a moment to consider Skizz’s words of wisdom, to think over all of Grian’s actions, and eventually nodded in agreement. Grian was reckless, he played with fire and was always a little too friendly with TNT. One wrong move and said explosive would be blowing up in his face instead of an enemies. One too many wrong buttons pressed and Grian would be dead sooner than later. “He’s gonna get such a talking too when he does die.” The blonde muttered.

Joel let out a huff of amusement beside him. “Can’t wait to see you chew ‘em out.” 

“You should revoke his Bad Boy rights, break his sunglasses.” Skizz laughed at his own joke, Jimmy’s own broken sunglasses seemingly far from his mind. The canary momentarily glanced at where the remains of his own glasses lay, glad Joel had yet t notice 

“We should!” Joel agreed with Skizzle, voice alight with enthusiasm. 

Jimmy giggled, letting the two’s banter carry on around him. He was more content to sit in the silence again, except it wasn’t really silence anymore. He had two friends to fill the silence, and was soon going to have ore. Maybe just this once, life after death wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Huh, the birds are chirping again.” Joel noted this as soon as his exchange with Skizz died down. He said it as if he was simply thinking it aloud, talking to no one in particular. A mutter was heard from the other side of Jimmy, Skizzle seemingly having come to the same realization. 

“Yeah?” The blonde asked, giving Joel a weird look. He was confused as to why his friend was stating the obvious, and hoped it wasn’t another thing he’d obviously missed out on. But to his memory the birds always chirped during the daytime, so why was it suddenly noteworthy here? 

“They didn’t do that, back there.” Joel said, looking into the treeline. His voice had a near wistful tone to it, like he was recounting an old memory, like the birds not chirping used to be normal. “Not since you went, Jim.” 

“Oh.” Jimmy said lamely, surprised at the knowledge, how Joel said it like it was some unspoken fact. The brunette continued, tone becoming somber as he spoke. “They always stop after you die, then start again here. It’s only after you die permanently, though” 

Jimmy said nothing, mentally trying to grapple with what he had just learned. The other two were now silent as well, both staring off into the distance. All three of them returned to thinking, to doing nothing but leaning against each other and thinking, listening to nature and waiting till a fourth servermate joined them. 

Jimmy curled his wings around his friends tighter, listened to the birds chirp around him, and wondered why they stopped when he fell. He wondered what he had done to deserve such an honor, to be the only one able to quiet his fellow birds.  

He wondered what he did to deserve even more silence in his wake.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: dismemberment / ]

I think a lot about how Leo’s rescue could have easily ended in him losing a leg as the portal snaps shut on the Krang still clutching the limb, or, alternatively, only having Leo’s right arm make it out, still held dearly in his brother’s hand as the rest of Leo is left behind. (The latter hits even harder, as it directly parallels his future self in the worst of ways.)

I think a lot about how so many things could have gone wrong during the course of the movie with even a little bit of a change, but it really is harrowing how much of a coin-flip the entirety of the Prison Dimension rescue was.

[feluka]

"don't pretend you actually care about this you only heard about this cOnFlicT on october" have some respect do you have any idea how long we've been blocking this oxford comma guy

[all-my-crap]

“No! I messed it up!”

“Grian, Grian it’s not going wel-!”

Lightning strikes. Desperation and panic- suddenly cut off. The water flowing from the remains of bread bridge in silence.

Grian rushing over to where Joel once was, only to find nothing there. He didn’t get to say his farewells.

[awoogaslashers]

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

socially watching The Crown with my Irish hosts and I can't help but feel very uncomfortable with the premise. We're at Diana's death and there's something very ironic about all the commentary on voyeuristic journalism and the denunciation of the nightmare of living in the public eye in a show that makes a spectacle out of the private. How can you credibly condemn paparazzi when you're inventing whole conversations and private moments for real people? It's glorified rpf.

[helveticaa]

[marshmurmurs]

remember when velara's altars made use of a dagger? good times. he did not think to put the dagger down before going to sippy on the potion. the gods all agree it was a skill issue

[ifellforittwice]

THANK YOU! And honestly fuck every single american swiftie that thinks they have any right to have an opinion on this.

Again: thanks!! Some of you (most of you, for what i can see) are just terribly xenophobic and racist.

[ghouljams]

wait why would ghost be pondering if he made the worst mistake of his life? was he that entrenched in the idea of dying on the job that he prefers it to civilian life?

Hmmmm. I think in my mind it's more Ghost's own anxiety around his personhood that hes fully catastrophizing. It's not so much that he loved the SAS but more jumping feet first into a pool he no longer knows how to swim in. The last time he was allowed to be a civilian and enjoy quiet was right before his family was killed, before he became Ghost. I think Ghost's worry is that there isn't a civilian left in him, that the SAS is all that there is and he will never be able to reaclimate.

I always see Ghost as a character that is rigidly settled on the idea that he is one thing, he serves one purpose, and he does it well so why should he try and be anything else? But it's also a very... hm. When you live for so long anticipating your death, living past it feels wrong in a way. There's a piece of you that gets left behind. You wake up the same as you were the day before, but you're not the same as when you went to sleep. Ghost barricades the door because it's an old habit in an unfamiliar environment. But it's not a safe house, there's no watch, there's no one coming after him, there's no expectation he might not see the morning, and that scares him in a new way that dying hasn't in a long time.

Price is offering him the opportunity to be Simon again, and that's scary too. That's a choice with a heavy potential for mistake. What if there isn't any of Simon left? What if he does something wrong, plays the part of Simon wrong? What if he can't be happy as a civvie? I don't think he was happy(maybe familiar, satisfied) with being an operator, but it's the enemy he knows. This is a wide open unknown, an abyss he has to stare into and hope it doesn't stare back. When he meets Goose at the bar he makes a choice to be Simon for her, to take a baby step with a stranger, to give her a fragile part of himself because he gets this squirmy feeling in his chest when he sees her smile, and then has that ripped away from him the next morning.

[thedo0zyslider]

Apologies And Much Needed Conversations - 2k words

Grian dies, and it's a death if pure karma. Which he deserves. He's not sure he deserves what comes after though.

A03 Link

Joel had been minding his own business, sitting on their little cliff edge as he usually did these days. Jimmy sat next to him, not really saying much. He made the occasional comment, but for the most part the two friends were just hanging around. Joel was getting bored at this point he really was. There was nothing to do when you were dead. Jimmy didn’t seem too bored though, the blonde seemingly intrigued by the chirping birds. He had been since the first day, when originally mentioned their strange singing patterns. 

His attention was soon drawn by movement off to the side. Joel looked over, a little curious, and was soon greeted with the sight of Bdubs. He hadn’t expected the man to return from his haunting so soon, thinking he’d be down there a week at best. Bdubs was absolutely fuming too, which was also unexpected. Beside him, Jimmy's attention shifted from the birds and turned to Bdubs as well. 

“Bdubs?” He asked, scooting away from Joel to sit beside the smaller, who was currently fumbling to find his own seat near the cliff. “What’s wrong?”

“Etho just teamed with Grian!” Bdubs almost yelled the words it, throwing his arms up in the air in frustration. Joel made a strangled noise in his throat. He didn’t know why Grian decided to team with Etho, he didn’t know why Grian did a lot of things. All he knew was that the avian had made a good choice in teammates, but the same couldn’t be said for Etho. Teaming up with the guy who killed your supposed wife and son was a very bad move, and it was going to leave Joel’s former soulbond with a lot of angry ghosts to deal with when he joined them all. 

Jimmy muttered words of sympathy, putting an arm around Bdubs. The smaller leaned into it with a huff, arms crossed above his chest and eyes fixed strongly on the grass. Joel moved to sit on Bdubs’s other side; not quite touching, but close enough for his presence to provide some comfort. 

It wasn’t long after that that the rest of the ghosts returned, Tango and Scar trailed on first, and Cleo followed behind them. Joel, figuring that something else interesting must have happened, move to stand closer to the little trio. 

"Grian slipped off skynet!" The zombie announced, failing horribly to hide the amusement in her voice. 

"He bloody WHAT?" Joel called, disbelief evident in his tone. Jimmy made some sort of strangled chirping sound, clearly struggling to find his words. 

"Yep!" Tango backed up Cleo, hands clasped behind his head. "We left right as he started slipping!" The blazeborn moved towards a still struggling Jimmy as he spoke, tail flicking around the canary left comfortingly. Tango leaned in, muttering softly to Jimmy, "I think that was some karma for you, birdie." Joel, who was close enough to hear, stifled an amused noise. 

Scar stood next to Cleo, a tense smile on his face. "He kinda deserved it." The brunette muttered, and Joel briefly remembered his panic attack from a week earlier. He and Jimmy would need to talk to Grian about that, wouldn't they? Because the avian sure as hell was gonna avoid that encounter as long as he could. 

They small group of ghosts, that really couldn't be called small anymore in Joel’s opinion since there were bloody eight of them now, shuffled towards the world spawn once more; waiting for Grian’s ever nearing arrival. The Clockers stayed back a bit though, and stood halfway in front of Scar as if shielding him. Skizz and Tango also stayed behind as well, both of them either fading into the back of Joel’s mind or naturally into the Clockers little group. 

Grian arrived with a cut off scream about five minutes after Cleo’s announcement, and he was the first one to spawn in standing since well…...well since Joel himself. Grian stumbled to keep his balance as he spawned in, arms and wings falling out almost wildly behind him. Though he was fumbling as soon as he regained proper balance, Joel and Jimmy both pouncing on their fellow Bad Boy. 

“You absolute buffoon!” Jimmy exclaimed, wrapping Grian in a hug despite his rather peeved tone. “You idiot!” 

“You're both idiots!” Joel suddenly grabbed the back of both of their heads, forcibly knocking them together. The two let out matching squawks of pain, which would be amusing in literally another situation and he was so going to make fun of them for it later. 

"Seriously, how do both of you fall off Skynet!?" He exclaimed, whacking both of them again for good measure. Jimmy just rubbed his forehead, wincing in pain and Grian blinked a few times. 

“It’s great to see you too, Joel.” The avian deadpanned, entirely avoiding the question. 

“My death was because I’m stupid, Grian’s was karma for laughing at it.” Jimmy huffed, moving to lightly elbow the newest ghost in the side. Grian just rolled his eyes at the taller blonde. Joel felt inclined to agree with that explanation, that was some pretty sweet karma indeed. He always liked a good bit of that, and Grian definitely deserved it by now, after four of these things. 

“Hi G!” BigB said, causing Joel to jump a little. He hadn’t seen him approach, but it made sense. Grian had allied with him after the Bad Boys crashed and burned. Beside him Grian smiled widely. “BigB!” 

“You did good man!” BigB smiled back, giving Grian a few hefty pats on the back. The blonde just laughed in return, and gave B a quick side hug. 

BigB drifted off after that, wandering over to Skizzle for a reason Joel didn't quite catch. Their friend's departure left all three Bad Boys sitting on the cliff's edge, and giving Grian a proper introduction to the designated sitting spot of this afterlife. 

During a brief moment of silence, Jimmy caught Joel's eyes, and nodded discreetly towards Grian. The avian looked zoned out, his eyes unfocused and his limbs fidgeting almost constantly. Joel nodded back to Jimmy a moment later, and wondered on the smoothest way to confront the metaphorical elephant in the room. 

______________________________________________

In all honesty, Grian should've paid more attention to Joel and Jimmy after he died. They were talking to him, and they did so for a good few hours, but the blonde wasn't really listening. His mind was elsewhere, and he only half listened to whatever Jimmy was talking about.

"Grian?" Joel asked it suddenly, cutting off their canary friend and fixing him with an intense gaze. Grian blinked out of his stupor, and gave his friend a look of mild curiosity.  

"Do you wanna like, talk to Scar or something mate?" Joel said carefully, casually, and the avian forgot how damn observant he could be sometimes. He guessed living alone in a death game did that to you, made you aware of all your surroundings because no one else would watch your back for you. It was a skill you never forgot either. Jimmy just gave Joel a look over Grian’s shoulder. 

He stiffened a little, and hoped it wasn’t enough to be noticeable. "Why do you ask?" Grian muttered, hands wringing around the fabric of his leather jacket. 

"He kinda…spawned in having a panic attack, and of course we asked why, so he told us er, how he died and all…." Jimmy piped up from his other side, and his stiffening was definitely notable now. 

"You also keep looking in his direction." Joel added, and Grian wanted to shrivel up and die a little. He'd been casting glances at the Clockers and Tango every few minutes, eyes always trained on Scar's figure, no matter how far away it was. He was sure the brunette could feel that he was being watched by now. 

When Joel seemingly had nothing more to point out, Jimmy spoke again. He seemed to sense Grian needed some reassurance, a topic that their brunette Bad Boy wasn't the most skilled at, bless him. "You can talk to uim, ya know? No one's gonna bite your head off." The canary said, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder for a split second. The avian just nodded in response. 

Grian shifted where he sat, feeling more antsy than he had a moment before. His two friends faded into the background of his head again, and his gaze remained focused on Scar, and the little group he was in. The urge, the all consuming need to speak to the man was getting worse by the minute, and it would be just Grian’s luck that the small group of four would seemingly cease their conversation and begin to split off. Or maybe not his luck, considering how he wasn’t sure to approach a situation that really needed some approaching. 

Cleo walked off, seemingly bored and wanting to go haunt some more living souls, the poor things. Tango followed happily, tail flicking against the usually flammable grass freely and shouting a loud goodbye to Skizz, one that was joyous and echoed nicely across the whole area. Bdubs followed a moment after, only halting to see if Scar would follow. 

Scar shook his head no, saying something to his brother with a…a sort of weary smile on his face. Bdubs flashed him a look, one Grian would discern from here, and waved goodbye for the time being. He ran off quickly, yelling for Cleo and Tango to slow down, to wait for him and that he had short legs and it wasn't fair that they could move faster than him. Beside him Joel let out a small snort of amusement, and leaned over to mutter something to Jimmy. That was the only time Bdubs had ever admitted to being short, let alone tried to use it in his favor.

 Scar watched them go for a moment, only turning away when the three had fully vanished back into the living realm. He turned to his side, and faced his gaze on Grian. It was the first time Scar had looked at him since the latter died. 

The brunette turned, moving towards the forest a little ways down the side of the mountain. Grian stood, feeling one of his two companions giving him an encouraging nudge, and hesitantly followed his old ally into the trees. 

He stayed a few paces behind Scar, uncertain if he should walk so close to him. The avian was a little nervous, he had to admit. He had no idea what he would even say, because what could he say, really? He could only give since little apologizes, one Scar had no right to believe anymore and couldn't be blamed if he didn't. 

They stopped walking when they were only a minute or so away from the main area of sorts. Grian thought it was that far at least, he'd zoned out a bit on the small journey there. Scar stood in front of him, looking like he was searching for words, or trying to think of some gesture to do. Grian beat him to the punch, and moved forward first. 

 The first thing Grian did was draw Scar into a hug. To his credit, Scar somehow managed not to flinch, only going a little rigid instead. If he did push Grian away, well the avian wouldn't blame him. 

"I'srry I'm sorry, I'm sorry Scar I'm so so sorry please-" Grian tried to stay calm, he really had, but he ended up babbled into Scars chest. His breath started to come out in gasps as fat, hot tears began to fall from his eyes. He shouldn’t cry and break down when trying to apologize. That was stupid. Because what did he have to cry over, he wasn't murdered like…like that. 

To his utter surprise, Scar moved to hold him back, resting his chin on the smaller head. He held onto the avian tightly, comforting and with none of the stiffness from moments prior. 

"It's okay, G, it's okay." He muttered, clutching the other to his chest. They ended up on the ground, Grian in Scar's lap as the taller muttered comforts into his hair. Occasionally, Scar's own, silent tears fell into the avian's blonde hair. He seemed to be avoiding doing much of his own crying, instead wanting to provide Grian comfort for the moment. If he guessed Scar had already shed some tears over this, he wouldn't be wrong. 

The avian's breathing began to slowly even out over the course of a few minutes, the comforting embrace doing its job perfectly. Only then did he feel Scar relax his hold on him, shifting till they were sitting in front of each other instead of well, on each other. His face felt dampened with tear tracks. 

"I'm sorry, I don’t know why I did that.." Grian muttered, shifting back towards his friend until he was being held again. Scar made a quiet, amused huff, and let the smaller sit in his arms again. 

"I figured it was the red life that made you do it," Scar said, rolling his eyes fondly as Grian buried his face into his chest. "Thinking back on it, you didn't really seem to be…there mentally." It made sense that Scar had taken time to think over the moment, as you had nothing to do in death. Nothing to do but sit in silence and process what had brought you there. It didn't mean the moment had stopped hurting though, just that the reason for it made more sense than it had before. 

"Until I was.." He trailed off, voice cracking a little. Scar held him tighter. 

"You don't have to say it, I know what you mean." The brunette muttered. Grian just hummed in response, blinking away the beginnings of new tears. The two faded into the silence slowly, Grian's small sniffles eventually quieting until they weren't there at all. He moved away eventually though, his messy wings sore and now starting to cause him a great deal of pain. Grian needed to take better care of them, really, he always let them deteriorate during these games. 

The avian began to preen his poor and tattered wings, listening to Scar quietly explain whatever story that came to his mind, but paying more attention than he has to Jimmy’s own rambling just an hour earlier. Again, he really had to pay his two allies more attention when he got back. 

His friend scooted to sit behind him and help with his task, hands moving to clean some harder to reach feathers. Scar kept talking, tone low and filling the silence as he always liked to do. The moment reminded him of some cool, early nights in the desert, of how they discussed whatever the day had wrought then and cleaned sand out of their own and each other's things they'd stopped doing that quickly though, because it was a desert and sand was literally everywhere. 

The only thing Grian had cared to clean was his clothes sometimes, when the sand got too irritating against his skin, and he kept preening his wings regularly. He'd had to do it so often back then, because again, sand, that it had been more efficient to teach Scar and have him help. Scar still remembered how to do it , and the chore was made faster than it usually was. 

"Wanna go haunt Etho?" Scar asked, beginning to get to his feat. He offered out a hand to Grian, flashing a smile no longer weary like it had been before. 

"Oh, you know I do!" Grian exclaimed, a mischievous grin spreading across his features. He took Scar's hand, stood up once more, and started running back towards where the rest of their friends resided. 

As soon as the two joined their fellow servermates they seemed to be back to normal, differences resolved. Grian still felt bad, he would for the rest of time, but now he knew Scar held no ill will over the death. That made it much easier to fall back into their familiar routine, and scare his unfairly tall friend with spooky ghost noises. 

Scar giggled, translucent form swatting at him lightly. Grian just dodged out of the way, and quickly moved to join their friends crowding around a certain masked, and still somehow living, man. Though Grian wasn’t sure he'd be living for too much longer, however ominous that might sound. 

[sashaisnotokay]

I don’t like how this art has turned out, but I don’t think I know how to make it better.

He doesn’t need an introduction, I guess.

[lilyharvord]

Once again I am screaming and crawling up the walls like Evil Dead over the fact that all the electricons grabbed onto Mare in Harbor Bay when she saw Cal’s body and the healer trying to resuscitate him.

Like everyone around her (except for her) knew her dumb ass was so in love with him that if he died she was going to go off like a fucking bomb and kill all of them and to avoid that they literally were fully prepared to either knock her out with their own ability or contain hers as much as possible.

Which just leads me to believe that if he had died, like if the healer had failed and he had died on the sand Mare would have turned immediately to Iris’s war ship and we would have gotten the duel of the fucking century. Because Iris would have been fighting to just survive and Mare would have been blindly fighting to kill at all costs in as painful of a manner as possible. And she would have taken so many lakelanders and nortian soldiers with her. So tbh, if Dane/the Scarlet Guard was smart, they would have let Cal die in that moment and they could have ended the whole thing in Harbor Bay.

[kaitcake1289]

you are watching mythic quest season 3. i am watching the mythic quest season in my mind where cws death has an actual effect on most of the characters that prompts their development. we are not the same

[awoogaslashers]

[blondiest]

this has near n mello energy