#silly girl {fran bow}

[askthefranmily]

Do you have some songs you associate with the Fran bow characters? If so, who, and why?

🦈OH BOY YOU’RE IN FOR A TREAT

💛Fran💛

Hitorinbo Envy, specifically the Jubyphonic cover: the little girl in the animation looks like her, but it also reminds me of her struggles with losing her family, and finally finding one again with her silly little whimsical dads and her cat.

ALSO

Child of the stars by Fish in a Birdcage- this one I think would definitely be Itward to Fran. HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER SO MUCH AUAGAGH.

💀Itward💀

Dan the Dancer by Mitski: Itward is really loving, he loves his daughter and his big fluffy husband and he loves all of the kids he’s a friend to. He loves to the point where it can even hurt him, like with Clara and Mia. The more romantic lyrics are more of him and palontras because I love them 💁

🌸Palontras🌸

Bird Song by Florence + The Machine: To me this fits him because it’s both him trying to repress his past but also his own darkness that the kamalas bring out in him.

🌳King Ziar🌳

Fallen Down by Toby Fox:

He just gives sweet grandpa vibes, and this song reminds me of that.

🐈‍⬛Mr. Midnight🐈‍⬛

Kagerou Days (also the Jubyphonic version, or any version rlly! That’s just my favorite one, and it’s in English): this one I feel like is Mr. Midnight towards Fran. I headcanon that the Mr. Midnight we see in the game that talks actually came from an alternate reality, and his Fran died. Fran’s REAL Mr. Midnight died (that’s why we see the cat in the grave) Itward helped bring them back together because there was no way they’d be able to find each other on their own. Mr. Midnight has seen Fran die, and I imagine is really heartbroken over it, and wants to do anything to keep her safe.

🩸Remor🩸

For the Departed by Shayfer James: because he’s MEAN and NASTY and tbh I just think this specific villain-coded song fits him really well.

🎭Mother Mabuka🎭

Who Is She? by I Monster:

I think this one explains itself

☀️The Great Valokas☀️

Dawn by CircusP: I think this one also explains itself

And a little wholesome bonus! I think My Love Mine All Mine is really cute for Itward x Palontras but also the franmily as a whole, THE WHIMSY DADS JUST LOVE THEIR KIDS SO MUCH AAAAA 😭

I’m ATTEMPTING to make nice playlists on Spotify for them! I’ll post them here as I finish them, but if y’all have any songs you think fit you should let me know, I’ll give them a listen and maybe add them!!!!🦈

[twig-the-edgelord]

HI IM TWIG!!

Some people call me “Twiggie”, you can if you want to! I use HE/HIM or SHE/HER pronouns. If you don’t know what to call me just use male pronouns! I’ve been described as “not all there”

V HERES MORE INFO ON ME!!!! :D V

MY PARTNER

-> @warioscholar

I’ve some how tricked a guy to be with me!!!!!

I typically draw him as a stick!!!! He is my baby girl and I love him lots!!!<3

THINGS I LIKE

My current hyper fixation -> SCP

Other things I like

Shantae

Skullgirls

FNaF

Analog horror

Chainsaw man

Kakegurui

Bugs

pokemon

Animals

Naruto

Crash Bandicoot

Undertale/Deltarune

Illbleed

Komi can’t communicate

Batim

DHMIS

The Walton files

Vocaloid

Colour pallets

Clone high

Kirby

Cupcakke

Video Game History

Animal Crossing

Splatoon

Sally face

Fran bow

Danganropa

Minecraft

DDLC

And lots and lots more

Here’s my skin :D (the cat is chainsaw RIP :[)

TAGS I LIKE TO USE

These will be added to this post so you can find them

Twig asks-> I’m answering an ask

Twig rants-> just my silly rambles

Twig being evil and fucked up -> me being super silly

Twig is tired -> I’m on some sad shit

Twig gives facts -> spontaneous animal facts

Twig lost the fight -> the horny demons won

More maybe added

OTHER STUFF :D

TikTok

Twitter (I’m not calling it X)

YouTube

Gore side blog-> @twigsasillygoober

Evil version of me -> @twig-the-edgepeasent

Camila rp account-> @maggotsarefriends

Age regression blog -> @sharkie-shark

!!!!!!NSFW!!!!!!!!!!

NSFW ACCOUNT

>:3

NSFW ON TUMBLR

I’m not going to draw actual NSFW on Tumblr! BUT BE WARNED THERE IS

Lewd

Possible NSFW headcannons

Random stupid rambles

More maybe added

All of these will be properly tagged, and under mature. if I see any minors, or people whose ages not in bios interacting with them I will block that person.

DNI

Hey, please go away if you (are)

a terf

Ship kids with adults

Ship siblings

A map

A zoo

A lolicon/shortacon

An incel

Consider age regression sexual

Sexualize age regression

Radqueer

THE REST OF YOU CAN STAY AND BE MY FRIENDS :D :3

AND THAT WAS ME!

THE MAN

THE MYTH

THAT BITCH

✨✨TWIG✨✨

[the-s1lly-corner]

About the wedding with iward request

"I think he would probably have a "fake" wedding. None of the papers, nothing changes, just.. he and his partner have a little mock party and have fun. Thats it. Its literally in their backyard, the only thing is he wears a bowtie. His partner can just put a white flower in their hair or wear a bowtie also if they want and. Thats it."

What if they happily arranged everything together? Reader baking the cake while Itward rambles about the preparations.... making fran the flowergirl..... palonthras is his best man.... midnight is the ringbearer..................

Flapping hands around

Reader, being overly dramatic, kissing Itward all over literally in front of everyone(the children!!) and boasting about how they now have the best husband in the world, how precious and perfect he is(their speech embarassed him too, but they tried to at least tone it down and just pour the feels in)....... pinning q flower on his hat..... clinging to his arm... laughing about how they're now newlyweds.... all that in a silly-willy-nilly way....... ouhfjdudh......auofociggdsbnnh.. ...........

Yummy cake pics:

Wedding shenanigans w/ itward!

YAHOO!!! I.. did not end up playing fran bow tonight; I kind of fell asleep early and woke up at 1am <\3 so uh... now it's nearly 2am, and I cant get back to sleep TToTT

Devours the cakes :3

A lot of what you said in the ask happens! Palontras is best man, mr midnight is ringbearer, and Fran is the flower girl! While it might not be an official wedding in terms of documents and legal stuff, the ceremony still holds the same sentiments I think..! Really the ceremony is more for you, if anything; I dont remember if I said it, but itward doesn't see marriage as the end all be all of relationships, so I'm not sure if he would really throw a pseudo wedding unless his partner wanted it

Gosh can you imagine getting married in ithersta? Like ithersta already is pretty, but imagine an area getting "the works" to make it for for the occassion

Since it takes place in ithersta, ziar is the "officiant"

Damn imagine having a king turn up to your own party

Itward makes you both matching rings to further push that point that you guys are dedicated to one another; plus I like to think itward likes showing off his skills and I hc that he makes rings so :3!

His eyes are all ●● throughout the entire ceremony, and I think thsts really sweet

His awkwardness/nervousness is still there though, hes probably fidgeting at the altar waiting for you to arrive

A bunch of people show up; of course theres palontras, fran, mr mightnight and ziar.. but I think cogwing and the great wizard would also be there! As well as a handful of itherstas citizens that I think you guys might be friends with

New hc has been struck, itward is friends with prooter (the blacksmith dude) and that's where itward got the materials for the rings

Thinks

He wears his very best suit, too I think..

[putonmyfavoriteshow]

chiara, carmin, and fran for the character bingo ask <3

Chiara was answered here! Carmín

CARMÍN IS MY BEST FRIEND CARMÍN IS A GOD CARMÍN IS A BREEZE...anyway I don't really project onto them that much but it's a joke that if I was a dcla mean girl I’d be Carmín bc she doesn't stay mean for long and becomes one of the softest characters 🤭. But I do think we would be besties and she could make me recycling clothing or whatever she does lol. Plus I can fully understand her love of Alex. She just believes the best in him ok!? And he's really just a silly boy underneath!

Fran

She's my everything!!! Fran was my favorite character from the start and that really hasn't changed too much even though my love for other characters has grown. I love how much she cares about her friends and I can definitely relate to how that motivates so much of her actions. However, she's also waaaaay cooler than me. Like her talent!? Every time she sings I'm just 😍. Also only she could rock a bow and dress like she's still in 1950 and look that good like c'mon. Also she's honestly so silly and makes me laugh out loud constantly. She's just so facially and vocally expressive, I love it. I'm obsessed with how Lodo portrays her. Italian queen. I think the only person who loves Fran more than me is Vilu ;)

[shimmywhenyoucantbounce]

Self-indulgent fic idea #3: We Have Always Lived in the Castle/Fran Bow IMing crossover

Why IMing? Don’t know. Maybe to keep Mary Katherine from burning the mail. Post-canon of both books, Mary Katherine’s dead computer displays a chat message from a girl who is interested in mushrooms. The whole point of this is, obviously, to get Mary Katherine a friend in Fran. Fran is haunting the computer. Jonas thinks she is chill (because Fran is also talking black cat-approved) and this goes a long way toward convincing Mary Katherine. Wouldn’t it be silly if I wrote this. I just more friends for both of them.

[spicy-apple-pie]

For capril videogames

Ok i honestly don't play video games (i was those computer games kids like bob the snail and water girl and fire boy)

But i watch some gamers so just spitballing

Fnaf (screaming and paranoia- actually like any horror game like emily wants to play)

Sims (unpredictable and weird)

Dance revolution

Gang beasts (imo they look so silly)

60 seconds

Little misfortune (this technically a story kind of game which only has 2 different endings and will say pretty messed up emotionally so uh be warned if ya don't know)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!!

Fnaf

Definitely Donnie/Leo’s recommendation.

Casey is so confident she won’t get scared “it’s just jumpscares it’s not that scary.”

First night she screams when the animatronics first move.

She hates the phone guy with a burning passion and she never listens to his tips.

April is on FaceTime with Donnie. They’re laughing at her.

But eventually April comes to help her and she gets into it too.

April holds on to Casey, but sometimes blocks her from hitting the button to the door in time (but her hands are also shaking lol)

Casey insists she stay the night at April’s. She won’t admit it, but she can’t stop thinking of those fucking animatronics staring at her in the hallways.

Sims

They get way too into the character creation. They spend hours making the most horrendous face you've ever seen, with the most out of place outfits.

They also have a save that has the boys, Splinter, and Draxum.

At first it was just a joke of "haha we had Leo piss his pants" but it went way further. Mikey has had mulitple affairs. Raph has murdered will kill again. Donnie died because he was playing too long at the computer (and then Mikey Woohooed death). Surprisingly, Leo, Splinter, and Draxum are the most normal ones.

They did have Splinter and Draxum marry in their game

They both vowed never to speak of what happens in that save file to the others.

April is really good at cheats and tips, so she's the one with the controls most of the time.

She's also really good at decorating and building.

Casey's houses are the houses you build as a kid when you first learn about motherloade. Just a square building with the most expensive furniture.

DDR

They don't play this often, reserved for arcade dates.

They're pretty good. Casey has terrible rythym and but good reflexes and April had a phase of religously watching DDR videos.

They have mastered a few songs

One time, there were these little asshole kids that were yelling at them and causing a scene. They were almost out of credits anyway, and they were just about to leave when they saw the boys get a highscore on one of their favourite songs to play together. So they use the rest of their credits to play the song and knocked them off the leaderboard.

Gang Beasts/Human Fall Flat

I have not played Gang Beasts, but I have played Human Fall Flat and they look very similar.

Although it's a stupid game, I think this is when Casey realises that she's healed a lot since the foot.

Here's a game where she's given a task and told to do it. Before she joined the Hamatos she would've become frustrated at the difficult controls. The purpose of the game would've gone completely over her head.

Now here she is, laughing her ass off watching April character splat on the ground on what must be their 12th attempt at the puzzle. And she feels happy and content.

That got a little mushy on what should be something goofy, but I got bit by the hurt/comfort bug

60 seconds

Casey has an intense hatred for all of the characters in the og game.

She likes one character that is mutant Mary Jane

She tries for it every game

April has the best strats memorized for the game

Idk, I haven't played much of this game I've just watch Jay from the CubScouts (sp?) play it.

Little Miss Fortune

Casey and April played Fran Bow and loved it, and neither of them really knew what it was about.

The ending definitely was a shock, but they enjoyed it all the same.

Luckily they’re completionists so they got all the glitters and got the good ending.

Casey was pretty emotional because Misfortune reminded her of her brownies.

April can do a mean Misfortune impression and it cracks Casey up.

Casey: *crying at the ending, hold back sobs*

April: *whispers* “poor little lady.”

Casey: *sobs/laughs into a pillow*

Sorry it took a while anon, but this was really fun to do!!!

[bonezycollectorr]

uh hi this is my first post-

so uh- i have a bunch of undertale aus (not really a bunch only like 5 of them-) and uh i have servers where i explain them- oh yeah! i gotta introduce myself silly me. my names are Piers, Arven, Moon, Val, Striper, Blitz, Shadow, and Toxic my pronouns are anything but she but i prefer anything masculine, cat or skeleton related im Uranic, Acespike and Omniromantic i think? oh and poly (im dating two people but if i get a crush on someone it might be more idk) my special interests are FNAF, UnderTale, Pokemon, Shining Resonance Refrain and Creepypasta im in a BUNCH of fandoms- uh here lemme list them real quick- MY FAMDOMS!!: Rottmnt Sonic Vocaloid Helluva boss Hazbin hotel Obey me shall we date Pokemon Fran bow Sally face Little misfortune Fnaf Undertale (+Aus) My little pony (+Equestria Girls) Multiple animes Sanrio Monster high Cookie run kingdom (+Cookie run oven break) Shining resonance refrain Baldis basics The amazing world of gumball Poppy playtime Deltarune Percy jackson Danganronpa Steven universe Legends of zelda: breath of the wild Genshin impact Cuphead Miraculous ladybug Friday Night Funkin' Monster prom Splatoon Creepypasta Murder Drones The Owl House Project Sekai and no im not racist i love everyone- hell the only reason im in the genshin fanbase is for the memes are redesigns- oh yeah the servers! https://discord.gg/FuKktbAZBE https://discord.gg/vR38d3mGHr that should be all- oh yeah and uh i like headcanoning stuff too- KAY BYEE!!

[floragators]

NEW/UPDATED F/O List!!

Top Romantic F/os:

FNF Whitty (NOT Sock.clip’s current one just FNF only)

Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane (BTAS and Scooby Doo Special primarily yet also other variations)

FNF Girlfriend

BTAS (primarily) Poison Ivy

Purple Yam Cookie

Hank J Wimbleton

Chef Saltbaker

Cagney Carnation

Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz and some adaptations)

Bob Velseb (Spooky Month)

Morgo/Mr. Voice (Littlr Misfortune)

Beetlejuice (Cartoon and Musical)

Wally Darling (Welcome Home arg)

Howdy Pillar (Welcome Home arg)

Julie Joyful (Welcome Home arg)

Phantom Blot (Disney)

The Big Bad Wolf (Disney/Silly Symphony)

Megatron (Transformers Prime)

Bender Bending Rodriguez

Holli Would (Cool World)

The Dealer (Buckshot Roulette)

Hugo (Barbie as Rapunzel)

The Narrator (The Stanley Parable)

Fictional crushes/not necessarily f/os sometimes:

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls; Ship him with OC not myself)

FNF Boyfriend [Other self insert]

FNF Carol [With OC and other Self insert]

Rhythm Girl (RHF) [Queerplatonically]

Rye Cookie

PS/FNF Darnell

PS/FNF Nene

PS Alucard

FNF Zardy

FNF Hex (with Self insert sometimes)

The Lizard/ Curt Connors

Venom

Brahms Heelshire

Yautjas (City Hunter and Ultimate Predator)

Red Guy

Pyramid Head

Papyrus (including some aus)

Rob Zombie Michael Myers

Reboot Jason Voorhees

Texas Chainsaw 2013 Jedidiah Sawyer

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1-2 Bubba Sawyer

The Observer/Kevin Haas

Cedric the Sorcerer

Ghostface

Chromeskull/ Jesse Cromeans

Eddsworld Tom

Tankman Skittles

Fnaf Sun/Moon

MC Deimos

MC Sanford

MC Sheriff

Fran Bow Itward

Ludwig Von Koopa

TF Bumblebee

TF Knockout

Ghostrider

Micah Yujin

Johnny Worthington III

H.G. Well’s Griffin/ The Invisible Man

Lonesome Ghosts

Helluva Boss Fizzarolli

Ink Demon Bendy (BATIM/BATDR)

Platonic/Non-romantic f/os:

Skid and Pump

Baymax

Intruder Plushie (oddly enough)

Splendorman

Asgore

Toriel

Mangle

Pink Pearl

Nephrite (Centipeddle)

Rose Quartz

Ms Frizzle

Flowerfell Frisk

Ruby the red bird

Gojirin

Draculara

Mr Freeze

Jewel Von Starstone (Friend’s oc)

Ariel

Sari Sundac

Custard Cookie the III

Other honorable mentions(aka some of my childhood crushes or on-off ones):

Morton Koopa Jr.

Peso the penguin

Marvin the martian

Manray

Dr Blowhole

Randall Boggs

Frosty the snowman

Black Hat

Bill Cipher

Keep in mind the difference in my definition of like f/o and other fictional crushes is one is personal and shipped with the actual me/myself, and the other, while I do simp for, I prefer on the side or with an oc.

It’s sorta rare to see me actually ship myself with anything other then my main f/o. I’ll most likely ship one of them with a variation of my self insert such as Serpente and Joyfriend or just a straight up an OC.

Here’s finally the revamped one! I plan to make another one for my ships and self shipping soon!! In the meanwhile enjoy all these info on my self. This one will be constantly updated ofc.

[sammyspelledwrite]

A Royal Affair

It’s AU August so here’s ch 1 of my new Ladybug fic

Summary: Marinette is a Chinese princess, sent to France under the cover of diplomacy to recover the stolen Miraculouses. She soon discovers one of the Miraculouses, held by a musketeer named Chat Noir. He agrees to help her find the rest if she helps him stop the akuma. Meanwhile, le Dauphin Prince Adrien has unexpectedly stolen her heart. AO3

Marinette may have been ill at ease in her royal qipao, with bright red tassels dangling from her ornamental headpiece, but it did not show on her face. She surveyed the silly French court with a look her grandfather would have been proud of. Any one of these people, she thought. Any one of them could have stolen them.

She unconsciously raised a hand to the black gems that swung from her ears. Now, with their magic dormant, she couldn’t sense the Miraculouses around her. But she knew they were there.

“Princess,” snapped Madame Bustier. “You must be more approachable! How will China ever establish trade with France if no one speaks to you?”

Marinette held her tongue. On the surface, this was a diplomatic mission. It chafed the emperor’s pride to send someone abroad, rather than wait for the other country to admit China’s superiority. But something valuable had been stolen from the emperor, and it was imperative that no one knew the true purpose of her visit.

“Will I be presented to the king soon?” Marinette asked in Chinese.

“En Français,” Madame Bustier hissed. “The king hasn’t even arrived yet.”

“Oh god,” someone said. “What is she wearing?”

“Highly unfashionable,” another agreed.

Marinette turned slightly to see two French ladies of the court, around her own age. One wore makeup in that distasteful French way, accentuating every corner of her face. She had blonde hair done up in a large bouffant, adorned with pearls. Her dress was bright yellow, something Marinette had to remind herself was not reserved for the king here. The other had orange hair, rather short, and wore a pale lavender dress that Marinette actually liked.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette said, smiling a little. “Who are you?”

The orange one squawked. “How dare you! This is Dame Chloé Bourgeois! The future reine of France!”

“Oh?” Marinette frowned. “You’re engaged to the prince?”

Chloé gave her friend a smack with her bejeweled fan. “Sabrina, be quiet.” Then she sighed heavily. “Yes, everyone knows that I will soon marry le Dauphin, Adrien. It’s simply right that the two most beautiful people in France be joined before God.”

Marinette took this girl in again, from her bedazzled fan to the pearls in her hair. She wanted to tell her that what her grandfather wore on one hand was worth more than her father’s French fiefdom. But she did not. Instead, she said, “That’s nice.”

Chloé gave her a strange look, then harrumphed and left her in peace. Her friend Sabrina hurried after her.

“You see?” Marinette said to her teacher. “I am making connections.”

Madame Bustier did not have time to scold her, for the music stopped and everyone turned their attention to the end of the great hall, where the head butler stood. “Mesdames et messiers, the butler announced. “Le Roi de France et de Navarre, Roi du Soleil, Gabriel.”

The men bowed, and the women dropped into deep curtsies. There, at the entrance to the mirrored hall, stood a tall man with a serious face. Atop his head he wore a great, powdered wig, in his hand a pearl-topped cane. His suit was powder blue and embroidered in gold.

“Monseigneur le Dauphin, Adrien.”

A young man stepped into the hall. The prince. She had been shown his likeness on the voyage, but it did not compare. They called his father the Sun King, but surely they meant his son. Absolutely radiant, with hair blond as wheat. Even from here she could see his eyes were green like imperial jade. He stood tall, straight-backed, and looked over the heads of his people.

Chloé had been right on one thing, at least. This man was beautiful. But Marinette pushed that thought away. He was but another prince. Marinette was the daughter of the eighth princess of Emperor Qin, and she alone had been chosen amongst her cousins to wield the power of the Miraculous.

King Gabriel took his seat in his throne, and the members of the court lined up to pay their respects to him.

After a dull half hour, and the people were back to mingling, Madame Bustier walked Marinette to the throne. King Gabriel sat rigidly, a servant beside him holding a bottle of champagne for when le roi’s glass ran dry. On the other side, in a fine powder blue suit only slightly less extravagant than his father’s, was Prince Adrien.

“Monsieur le Roi,” said Madame Bustier, curtsying. “I present to you Princess Mei Ai Nuo, or Marinette, of the Qing Dynasty.”

King Gabriel gave her a look that made her feel ice in her heart. Then, with an air of dismissal, raised his right hand to her.

Marinette’s eyes widened. Did… did he expect her to kiss his ring? She glanced at Madame Bustier for help. Her teacher gave the tiniest nod.

Oh god. This wasn’t covered in her training. Was she expected to actually kiss his ring or the air above it? Should she grab his hand to do so?

“Allez-y, child,” King Gabriel said.

Marinette felt her cheeks turn pink as she bowed low and kissed just above the ring. King Gabriel withdrew his hand and waved at Adrien. “My son,” he said. “Prince Adrien.” He nodded. “He will dance with you.”

Marinette was taken aback. She looked at the prince, who gave her a most breathtaking smile. “Mademoiselle,” he said, bowing slightly, “may I have this dance?”

Marinette curtsied like she’d been taught. “I would be honored, monsieur.”

Prince Adrien took her hand lightly in his and led her onto the dance floor. Marinette felt that people were staring. The red tassels in her hair swayed in and out of her vision. Adrien placed one hand behind his back and his other arm against hers. He stepped, and she followed, like she had been taught during the voyage to France.

“Was the journey long, mademoiselle?” the prince inquired.

“Yes,” Marinette said. “But I am happy to have come. Establishing trade between our nations is so important.”

“Indeed,” the prince said, and Marinette resisted rolling her eyes. “Tell me, where does your French name come from?”

“Ah. My father is French.”

The Dauphin smiled. “That would explain why you’re so beautiful.”

Marinette missed a step, and stumbled into the prince. He caught her easily and righted her, but Marinette could have sworn she heard that Chloé girl scoff.

“I understand that you will be staying with us for some time,” Adrien went on, his steps perfectly on rhythm.

Now that Marinette had made one mistake, she couldn’t remember how to keep going. She was a step behind, then one ahead, then the wrong foot, then another. She felt flustered. “Um, I, yes. My emperor, the China of grandfathers—I mean! Um. My father—no. I… ambassador?”

Now the prince laughed. “I think it’s wonderful our countries are trying to establish trade.” He leaned close and murmured, “And I’m glad you’re not another unsubtle attempt of my father’s to find me a bride.”

Marinette bristled at the prince’s attitude. Did he think every woman presented to him wished to wed him? She halted. “No, Dauphin, I am a diplomat here to further my country’s economy, not a concubine sent for the pleasure of the French house.”

Prince Adrien blinked at her, his expression regretful. “I-I’m sorry, mademoiselle, I did not mean to offend.”

“It doesn’t matter what you meant,” she said. “It matters what you said. The future ruler of a country should know that. Now, excuse me.” Marinette folded her arms into the sleeves of her qipao and walked away.

Marinette saw Madame Bustier gaping at her, so she changed directions and headed to the mostly vacant seats on the far side of the hall. She dropped into one with a huff and thought longingly of China.

“Is he that bad a dancer?” someone asked.

Marinette looked up. A beautiful dark-skinned lady was seated only a few chairs away. She had the most incredible dark hair, and she wore a striking orange dress with pearls stitched into the bodice. She held, instead of a fan, a golden rod with a pair of eyeglasses on top. “I mean,” she went on, “le Dauphin is certainly has to be bad at something, right?”

With a snort, Marinette folded her arms. “Bad at talking to foreign dignitaries,” she said.

“Such as yourself?” The woman raised an eyebrow, then smiled. “I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you before. Dame Alya, of House Césaire, from Avignon.”

Marinette smiled politely. “Princess Marinette, de Chine.”

Dame Alya’s jaw dropped. “China?” she said, incredulous. “That’s amazing. I have been desperate to leave France, and see the world. I’ve written all there is to write about our great country. It’s time to learn from others.”

“They allow women to write?” asked Marinette.

Alya smirked. “Only the good ones. In China, women have little privilege, non?”

“Women have plenty of privilege,” Marinette said. “I just… assumed Europe was more restricting.”

Alya said, “Then we both have much to learn. Princess Marinette, I would be delighted to meet with you during your stay at Versailles. I have a lovely apartment in the west wing, you must come visit me.”

Madame Bustier had told her to make connections, thought Marinette. “It would be my pleasure,” she said.

There was the sound of glass breaking. Marinette and Alya turned to see two ladies of the court all but fighting. “What are they doing?” Marinette cried.

“I’m not sure,” Alya said, frowning. “I’ve never seen Aurore so angry.”

Marinette stared, but she could practically hear Madame Bustier’s disapproval, so she turned away. And, was it her imagination, or was it growing dark in the palace?

Suddenly someone screamed.

[lowsodiumlevels]

Yes yes "water", you know a little girl named Fran Bow? She calls red water, red milk

Greyscale: fran bow? Hehe...she sounds funny...i like her! Even if i don't know her....pfft- red milk...no silly, it's red water...heh stupid fran bow...

[gyrlversion]

JAN MOIR: My heart sinks just a little at this BBC Girl Power

For the first time, a flagship BBC politics programme will be fronted by three women. Emily Maitlis, Kirsty Wark and Emma Barnett are the all-female presenting team on BBC2’s Newsnight.

‘Boom. Let’s do this,’ Emma said when the news was announced.

This gave the impression the plucky threesome were girding their loinettes for some kind of battle, when the truth is the war has already been won.

In Beeb Central, the Time of Men — the old order of broadcasting patriarchy — is going, going, gone; replaced with furious alacrity by an illustrious regiment of women.

Leading men across all spheres, from showbiz to politics, are falling like kneecapped dominoes.

Emily Maitlis (pictured), Kirsty Wark and Emma Barnett are the all-female presenting team on BBC2’s Newsnight

There is a female Doctor Who and a toothsome female duo presenting Strictly Come Dancing, the Beeb’s most popular light entertainment show. Female DJs have replaced Chris Evans and Simon Mayo on Radio 2, while the golden but entitled Age of the Dimblebys is crumbling into dust.

BBC1’s Question Time David has been replaced by Fiona Bruce, while the successor to Radio 4’s Any Questions Jonathan has yet to be announced, but the smart money is on A (for Any) Woman — quite possibly Woman’s Hour’s Jane Garvey, or Fi Glover of the station’s The Listening Project.

From now until for ever, it seems every high-profile onscreen appointment will be given to a her, not a him, in this brave new broadcasting She-domain.

My heart should sing at this display of raw female power yet, instead, it sinks. Just a little — a dip, not a plunge. But the trajectory is definitely downwards.

It’s not that I object to the promotion of this trio of talented Newsnight women, each at the top of her game in myriad brilliant ways. 

No, it’s more that the BBC’s response to accusations of gender imbalance and its protracted gender pay-gap dispute has been so clumsy, so silly and, ironically, so devoid of fairness and equality.

For there is nothing positive about positive discrimination. All these well-meaning attempts to end discrimination simply end up with more discrimination.

Andrew Neil, by far the best political interviewer across the BBC network, will step down from his BBC1 This Week programme in July

At the BBC, a sometimes flawed meritocracy has been replaced by something far, far worse; blunderbuss gender politics in a workplace where white, middle-class males are treated like lepers.

Take Andrew Neil, by far the best political interviewer across the BBC network, who will step down from his BBC1 This Week programme in July — probably in exasperation at being continually shuffled off into a late-night ‘graveyard slot’.

BBC Director of News Fran Unsworth then cheerily said she would axe the show because ‘we couldn’t imagine it’ without Neil.

If she’s such a fan, why has the old bloodsucker been kept in his late-night coffin all these years?

Neil is still appearing in his lunchtime Politics Live show. Yesterday, he ticked off the voluble Remainer MP for Broxtowe, saying: ‘This is not the Anna Soubry Hour. I think you have had more than a fair say.’ Authoritative yet still polite, a first-class act in a second-class slot.

Elsewhere, a traineeship scheme for Radio 1’s Newsbeat is only to take black, Asian, mixed ethnicity or lower socio-economic applicants. 

This means applications from ambitious middle-class white girls — and particularly boys — would go in the bin. Fair enough, you might think. 

Perhaps it’s time for men to suffer and understand what it feels like to be marginalised, sidelined and overlooked just because of their sex.

Imagine how Emily Maitlis must have felt on discovering that fellow Newsnight presenter Evan Davis, a broadcaster not fit to clean her over-the-knee boots, was paid a third more for doing the same job.

Clearly there has been a gender pay imbalance at the BBC, just like the one in society. Maybe it is true that, for too long, power and equality were denied to women at the BBC. Yet certain kinds of privilege and bias still have their place.

Imagine how Emily Maitlis must have felt on discovering that fellow Newsnight presenter Evan Davis, a broadcaster not fit to clean her over-the-knee boots, was paid a third more for doing the same job

For Emily, Kirsty and Emma are a certain kind of BBC woman. Shiny of hair and blue of stocking, they are all good middle-class gels who went to posh schools (two of them fee-paying), then good universities.

Most importantly, I’ll wager they are all Left-leaning liberals with Guardianista sensibilities running through them. And if any of the trio isn’t a dyed-in-the-cashmere-wool Remainer, I’ll join the Brexit Betrayal March myself.

Which suggests BBC bosses are keen on diversification in all its forms, but only in areas where it suits them.

It would be impossible to imagine a Right-leaning, Brexit-supporting female broadcaster — Julia Hartley-Brewer, for example — even being considered for a Newsnight job.

And when I interviewed Sky TV’s Kay Burley recently, she said that as a working-class girl from Wigan who left school after her O-levels, she ‘didn’t have the right accent or education to work at the BBC’.

Have things changed? In every way, but also in no way whatsoever.

The broadcasting regulator Ofcom is reviewing the BBC’s news and current affairs output to ensure it remains relevant and trusted in the capricious, polarised and challenging world of multi-sourced news.

The new Newsnight team will give them much to ponder over. But in the meantime, let me stop you right there, as Emily would say, and ask: is one woman’s equality another man’s injustice?

Ade, you lazy lump, congratulations! EuroMillions winner deserves all the happiness his huge windfall will bring   

Middle-aged, overweight, sad owl face, lumbering dolt, usually Scottish. If it’s true that all lottery winners look like the same person and fit this particular profile, how come I haven’t won yet?

Despite ticking all the above boxes, yet again it’s not me, it’s him — Ade Goodchild, a singleton 58-year-old factory worker from Hereford.

No, Ade doesn’t hail from Scotland like most Lottery winners seem to. But in every other aspect, he seems to fit the stereotype perfectly.

He is corpulent, dazed, bears a slight resemblance to a giant thumb and, unusually, insists that his mega-win will change him. 

According to one report, EuroMillions winner Ade Goodchild never lifted a finger to do any chores in the house or work in the garden

Twice-married Ade scooped £71 million on the EuroMillions this week, a fantastic sum. His two ex-wives have already said they don’t want a share of his money. Good for them.

His first wife said it ‘couldn’t have happened to a nicer man’, while the second insisted that she is ‘happier without him’. Still, it is prospective wife No 3, whoever she may be, who will reap the lottery windfall.

Ade seems like the kind of lazy, useless husband any woman would be well rid of. According to one report, he never lifted a finger to do any chores in the house or work in the garden. Even after they were divorced, his second wife said she still had to go round and walk the dogs.

Yet Ade is self-aware enough to joke that he’s no more attractive now he’s a winner than he was before, but that his wallet is getting more than a few admiring glances.

He says he will look after members of his family and is going to spend the money on wine and women, then waste the rest.

Can you find it in your heart to wish him well? I do, I do, I do. 

Paul pogos to the bank: Court case reveals Clash punk rocker’s millions 

Back in the 1970s, the Clash were sexy revolutionaries whose punk music was thick with Left-wing ideology. 

The song White Riot urged alienated white youths to riot like their black counterparts; London Calling sent an apocalyptic message to strengthen the kids’ resolve before the onslaught of Thatcherism, boo.

Well, that was then. Now, Clash bassist Paul Simonon has won a £5 million legal fight with his second wife, who managed some of the band’s financial accounts. 

She wanted to change the terms of their original divorce settlement and sell her share of Clash royalties to an investment firm, but the judge ruled against her.

In the initial settlement, they each kept a London home, while sharing the cost of their sons’ education fees. The couple’s legal bills for the new hearing were more than £60,000.

‘You think it’s funny, turning rebellion into money,’ they once sang, the old hypocrites.

Next, you’ll be telling me The Who’s Roger Daltrey is a Tory-supporting Brexiteer.

A rare black-and-white print of The Scream, by Edvard Munch, will soon go on display at the British Museum.

How very prescient, for the painting seems to sum up the national mood over Brexit precisely. Head in hands, hair torn out, mouth open in a soundless yell of despair from the very marrow of one’s being.

Of course, debate still swirls around the famous image. Is Munch’s figure emitting a scream or listening to a scream? And is that scream real or psychological?

Who knows, but altogether now . . . aaargggh.

TV presenter Lorraine Kelly has won a big case against the taxman by arguing that she appears on TV not as herself, but as an entertainer

Awww, that’s fantastic! TV presenter Lorraine Kelly has won a big case against the taxman by arguing that she appears on TV not as herself, but as an entertainer portraying a super-cheery, empathetic wee character who doesn’t actually exist.

‘I am a McFake,’ is what she appears to be saying, but didn’t we know that anyway? Ms Kelly (above) told the tax tribunal she was an entertainer because she played ‘a version’ of herself on her ITV show. So the Lorraine Kelly who appears as Lorraine Kelly on Lorraine is not the real Lorraine Kelly but a theatrical construct.

She won her appeal against a £900,000 tax bill and £300,000 National Insurance demand. That’s the real drama. Take a bow, Lorraine, whoever you are.

‘When is the real Prince Harry coming?’ a schoolboy asked the Duke of Sussex during a visit to a London primary school.

Indeed! Over the past few months, as Harry has chuntered on about living the dream, shining the light, all the blades of grass and the raindrops and your ‘own true north’, it is a question I have often asked myself. Hullo clouds, hullo sky? Really, Harry?

The post JAN MOIR: My heart sinks just a little at this BBC Girl Power appeared first on Gyrlversion.

from WordPress https://www.gyrlversion.net/jan-moir-my-heart-sinks-just-a-little-at-this-bbc-girl-power/