#simping but in a /p kinda way yk?

[taegularities]

ok I’m gonna be honest rid.

we all hate entertainer!jk in this house BUT that one scene….has me kinda yk down bad for him -this is WAY before the reveal FYI😭 (JUDGING MYSELF AS I SAY THIS)

that scene where they are in the studio and oc is kinda looking at his lip ring and they are talking about it and he says “wanna feel it” or something PLS I GIGGLED.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 But after that I hated him fr 😭 sue me for this idc 😵‍💫

I hate him though, that will never change 🙏🏼

LMAOOO oh gosh, don't worry too much, the beginning of entertainer was kind of supposed to make you simp for him.. his selfish and generally problematic nature was revealed bit by bit. i remember physically reacting to this scene, too :P it was fkn smooth djsjfzhsjsi so i won't sue you just yet 😂

BUT YES 🗣️ we hate entertainer jk in this house!!!!!

[seelestia]

it's like a patronus lol more proof that we're family, no? :P

very very true. any editors are better than tumblr atp ;w; even on mobile, tumblr editor deletes paragraphs at times. like... why. >:/

chicken sandwiches ftw!! hskshdks that's kinda adorable... yes child, you have your cocoa latte while i'll have my flat white- /j

yes yes the jp version is my favorite in that scene!!! (isn't umeyuu really ikemen irl too lol) i mean the en va did a good job too ofc but from all versions the jp one just hits differently... or maybe i am biased lol

i am loving the married couple bickering between those two lmao i really hope their banner is together or something (i heard kaveh is a 4*?)... oooh i wish genshin had a system where there was a unique "added to party" line that triggers if certain characters are in that party yk?? e.g. if you add kaveh to a party with al haitham he might have the chance to say "ugh not this guy" or "you have bad taste" lmaoooo wouldn't that be fun?? i'm so making this a post sjdlsjdl

i tried exploring around mond to 100% my exploration (so far only 2 areas are 100%) with the treasure compass and it's. it's so relaxing but also it takes so. much. time. lsdfjslhdfjks i'm gonna die from the electroculus and dendroculus searching, i just know it ;w;

*stamps 'chronic simp' sign on your hand* welp now we match-

yeye i heard about that too! so my current plan is to use my guarantee to 'mouchie cause i just gotta collect these anemo boys it's my destiny (i somehow have a feeling his rerun won't be anytime soon after this cause we're already kinda 'done' with his story, while compared to that childe will definitely still appear in the future???) and then pull on ayato's banner. if i'm lucky, i'll get ayato, but if not at least that means guaranteed al haitham (which i heard will be in 3.4?). but whatever it is al haitham's coming home no matter what cause i have the power of credit card

sobs i love that one the most too. the inspiration gods blessed me with that one ;w;

i'm cradling your hugs and cuddles close to my chest and sipping your tea with a smile. sending you back twice the hugs and headpats <3 <3

calling them our patronus sounds so cute AWWW <3 this makes me want to rewatch harry potter all of a sudden, but i'd probably end up falling asleep the moment i laid my head down on the sofa 😭 i think ayato would find the wizarding world vv intriguing and comment on its perks ("my, an invisibility cloak? i can only imagine the many tricks i'd be able to get away with." smack him /j). and for heizou, ik for sure that he would deffo be a fan of it (he's a nerd, a cute one).

i can see why you like the jp ver because umehara yuichiro's voice makes alhaitham sound extra feral LOLL i'm vv excited to see you go feral when his drip marketing comes out on twitter 👀 and yep, kaveh is a 4-star and it is most likely he'd be on the same banner as his beloathed roommate, pfft. OH, THAT IDEA SOUNDS FUN LOLLL you add kaveh into the party and alhaitham's unique voiceline is just "...sigh, care to remind me why he has to be here again?"

good luck with mondstadt's exploration, rin jie! >:) treasure hunting is like a more relaxed way to get 100% exploration and primos in small quantities. don't be like me and resort to finding the oculi yet because hoyoverse hides them in the weirdest places that i had to pull out guides 😭

GO GET SCARAMOOSH HOME! from what i saw in leaks, his kit is super cool and unique from the rest. the angy man literally floats in the air LOLLL and wishing you my good luck on ayato! hopefully, that commissioner will follow his great buddy oni's example and come home ;D and the way alhaitham is technically already guaranteed to be yours, whether that be with the power of credit card or not (hopefully not) fjejwkske

as you know for me, i'm definitely pulling for ayato with my guaranteed pity at 25 (i managed to secure layla within 20 pulls on childe's banner) + i have 80 fates saved rn, so it is safe to say the man will come home safe to me! i grinded so hard like i collected dendro sigils, the lumenstones and the res crystals at dragonspine to get those 2 free fates hoyoverse gave out 😭 i think after i get ayato, i'll probably go back to my "pulling on the banner i regret the least" technique. i hope ayato comes home early, so i'd still have some leftover fates <//3 EITHERWAY, BEST OF LUCK TO BOTH OF US! ✨

[land-of-glass-and-spires]

coloured bsd Nikolai panels

[crazywritertomboy1224]

(I feel you in the empty inbox too 😢 I have a deal for you, I send you this kirishima request since imma kirishima simp and you have something to write about, deal?)

How about this:

Kirishima and his girlfriend managed to sneak out of the UA campus for a night city date. They were all nervous about being caught, but those fears fade away when they started having fun. Like they went to the arcade were the tried their best to kick each others ass. (you can add whatever else you want to the date). They were having so much fun they almost lost track of time, then tried to sneak back to the dorms without being noticed, but obviously, they failed.

(if you don't mind I'll keep sending you requests :p)

I've been WAITING for a Kiri one! So happy to finally have found another Kiri simp! Sorry this one took so long, I had to get it just right, yk? (Plus I've been kinda busy ;-;) Anyways, hope you like it (and hope it brings Kiri justice)! (Also yes please keep sending in asks!!) As always, stay safe and hydrated and don't forget to eat! <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eijiro Kirishima x Reader

TW: cussing

Genre: Fluff, romantic

Word count: 1579

You cracked your door open, peeking out to make sure no one was around. After you assured the coast was clear, you slipped out, closing the door with a small click behind you.

You stood outside your dorm room, waiting patiently. A nearby door creaked open and you shushed him frantically. “Shut up! God, you’re loud.”

He just laughed quietly, pulling you into a hug and pressing his nose into your hair. You sighed in contentment, having missed these times when it was just the two of you.

“C’mon, let’s go.” He grabbed your hand and you both tiptoed down the hall, took the stairs down, and opened and closed the front doors, all with barely any noise.

Once outside, you turned around to see if you could see any lights turning on, just checking no one had heard you.

“It’s fine, babe. No one saw or heard us. We’re good, now let’s go!”Eijiro grabbed your hand and led you off campus and over to a nearby arcade.

He ran ahead of you and held the door open for you. “M’lady?” he says, a smile playing on his lips as he swung his hand in a semi-circle around, over his head, and under his other arm.

You grinned and walked in, giving him a cheek kiss as you passed. “Thhaannnkkk youuuu,” you said, drawing out your words dramatically.

He giggled and followed you in, trying to fight you to be the first to the counter. You elbowed him in the ribs, temporarily pushing him out of the running.

You ran up to the counter and slammed your hands down on the old, faded linoleum. “Two pleas- DAMMIT EIJIRO!” you screamed as Eijiro came up behind you and pulled you away by your waist.

He slid the money across the counter and turned back to you with a huge smile plastered across his face. You growled under your breath and walked up to him, looking straight up at his face, arms crossed.

“What, pebble?” he asked, tugging your hand up to the counter so the cashier could give you your band and cards.

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that I feel bad for you.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because I’m gonna kick your ass.” You smirked, dashing off to find the first game.

You skidded to a stop in front of the only available skee-ball machine and swiped your card. Eijiro did the same on the one paired with yours. It beeped and the plastic shield above the balls slid back.

You picked up the first one and rolled it, landing it in the outer ten-point ring, Eijiro managing to make it in the twenty-point cylinder. You growled to yourself, knowing you’d have to up your game to beat him.

He glanced over at you and flashed you a grin as he rolled his second ball, making it into the ten-point this time.

You roll it with so much angry force that it actually makes it into the one-hundred slot. You freeze for a second, registering what just happened before Eijiro nudges you with his elbow.

“Great shot, y/n!” He beams a huge smile at you and you can’t help but smile back and hug him.

“Thanks, babe!” You roll another one, scoring a ten, Eijiro rolling a fifty.

“One minute left!” The machine squealed out.

You both made a show of quickly rolling all of the balls down, not really caring what holes they landed in. You ended up with 380, Eijiro with 370.

You met him halfway as your machines printed out your tickets and he wrapped you in a hug, breathing in your ear. “Good job, pebble.” He congratulated you.

“Thanks, you too," you replied, ripping your tickets off and shoving them into your back pocket.

“What’s next?” you ask him, since you picked the first game.

“Umm, air hockey? I’m not horrible at it,” he suggests, pointing to the left.

“Sounds good," you reply and he leads the way over.

You take your positions at either side of the table and swipe your cards. You place your hand on your paddle as Eijiro does the same. The puck falls out on his side and he places it in front of his paddle, swatting it over to you.

You swat it back at him, aiming for his pocket. You missed and he deflected it, shooting it back toward your pocket with a little wrist flourish.

You tried to defend it and send it back at him, but you missed and it landed straight in your pocket. You sighed as you grabbed it and placed it back on the table, cracking your neck.

Eijiro laughed. “Why- why are you-” He doubled over in laughter. “Why are you- why are you cracking your- popping your- your neck?” He asked, stuttering from laughter.

You glared at him playfully. “Because I’m about to beat your ass.”

His face suddenly went serious. “No way.” He deflected your shots and sent the puck spinning into your pocket time after time after time until the buzzer went off.

He won… 26-1. He laughed and hugged you. “I love you!” He said, grinning. You sighed in acceptance but were unable to stay mad at him.

“Why do you have to be so cute?” You mock-complained, pressing your face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you tightly.

“Alright, let’s go. What’s next?” You stood up on your tiptoes and looked around, eyes scanning and mapping out the whole place.

“Hmm… bumper cars?” You suggested, lowering yourself back to the ground and shrugging.

Eijiro reached out and grabbed your hand. “Great idea! Let’s go.”

You dashed across the building and joined the line. You checked the time on your watch. “Oh, shit. Kiri, it’s already two am!”

“Oh shit.” He flipped his wrist to check his own watch and his eyes widened. “Okay, after this, we go back.” You nodded.

After what felt like forever, you were at the front of the line. You showed the nice girl your bands and she let you in. You sat down in the [____] one, your favorite color, while Eijiro chose the red one.

You zoomed around the track, waving pageant-style at him as he hunched over the wheel in the little bumper car that seemed way too small for him. You laughed, throwing your head back as you finished in third place all in all, first between you two.

You stood up, brushing off your clothes, and walked over to help a struggling Kirishima out of his doll-sized car. “Need some help?” You asked, chickling as you extended your hand to him. He took it with an annoyed face but you could see in his eyes that he was joking.

You pulled him up by his hand, your fingers lacing together by instinct once he rose completely out. He wrapped you in a hug as you waited in line to leave.

“Ugh, bottle-necking us like this isn’t cool.” He muttered against your hair, annoyed at the people who designed it with only one exit gate.

You giggled against his shoulder and pull away, leading you out in a hurry. “SHIT!” You yelled. “That took an hour!” Eijiro froze in terror, staring at his phone.

“Fuck. Kaminari and Mina have been texting me.” He said, tapping the screen.

“Dammit. Jirou and Momo have been texting and calling me.” You replied, opening the messages to tell them you’re fine.

You finished texting before him and grabbed the front of his shirt, guiding him out of the building and back to the dorms.

You pulled the doors open and saw Mina and Momo. They were sitting on the couch, sipping tea. Mina looked over as you two walked through the doors. “Care to explain where you’ve been all night?” She asked, raising an eyebrow over her mug.

“Uh- we were with… Denki and Jirou,” Kirishima tries to explain. You nod, thinking you might be able to get away with it.

Denki and Jirou pop their heads over the back of the other couch. Mina looks over with a pointed expression. “Care to try again?”

“We wanted to get away for a bit, just the two of us and have some fun before finals. We were at the arcade down the street.” You blurted out, ducking your head in shame.

“Why didn’t you invite us? We could’ve all hung out!” They exclaimed, clearly riveted that you didn’t invite them.

“Like we said, we just wanted some alone time. Sorry guys, maybe next time?” Eijiro responded, placing a hand around your waist and pulling you close.

Mina seemed satisfied with that answer and sent you off to bed while the four of them stayed downstairs, doing whatever the hell they were doing.

Before you went into your dorm, Eijiro pulled you close and smothered you in a hug. You pulled away, tired, but he gripped at the back of your hips and pressed a sweet, loving kiss to your lips and another to your forehead.

“Goodnight princess. I love you.” He whispered into your ear, hugging you tight one last time.

“Goodnight my manly man. I love you too.” You kissed his neck, which was the highest part you could reach.

You both turned around and went into your separate dorm rooms to sleep in your own separate beds that night. You fell asleep smiling and all the second thoughts you’d ever had slipped away. This was exactly what you needed.

[simpsamaa]

Haikyuu Captains Dating HC’s

Have some dating headcanons with some of the captains in Haikyuu because i’m not a total simp for captains. 

I also kinda got carried away with Kuroo’s- I just love him so much-

Also Bokuto’s is kinda suggestive- so- warning?

--------------------------------------------------

also my requests are open

so you can request characters from BNHA or Haikyuu for headcanons or scenarios 

Daichi Sawamura

Okay

When you start dating this man, you automatically become the mom for the team

Well second mom cause Suga’s the first mom.

You guys meet because you become a manager with Kiyoko and thus start a friendship with Daichi

and it leads on to more-

Will use stupid dad jokes on you when you feel down

Is the type of bf who would send you good night and good morning texts

He acts like an alarm clock for you

He will send you the good morning text at a certain time just to wake you up

Also so you have time to get ready in the morning, cause he’s a loving boyfriend

I expect this guy to be into PDA

But like

it’s just hand holding when you guys are in public

When you guys are alone, 

cuddles, hugs, kisses, etc.

but every time you guys do something affectionate the team makes fun of you.

You guys act like an old married couple

Will take you out on the cutest dates

Wear his jersey to one of his games and his receives will be spot on

same with his spikes and serves

Honest to the team you’re a lucky charm so-

“Dai-kun, how are the first years?” You asked your boyfriend as the two of you entered the gym. Only the third and second years were in there, the first years were still taking an exam. 

“Hmm, Tsukishima and Kageyama need to work on their interaction with the team, Hinata has been hyper as always, and Yamaguchi has some good progress on his jump serves.” Your black haired lover explained, making you smile at how he talked about his teammates.

“How have Tsukki and Tobio been working together? I think they’re the only ones who can’t sync properly” You said, crossing your arms while watching Nishinoya receive another spike from Tanaka.

“Well,” Daichi started with a deadpan look on his face, “Kageyama and Tsukishima can sync, they just argue over it half of the time.” He finished, making you laugh at the thought of them arguing.

“Mmh, maybe a training exercise for the both of them?” You asked, grabbing one of Daichi’s hands into your own, playing with his fingers.

“That might work, but-” “OI DAI-SAN STOP MAKING US FEEL LONELY” Tanaka cut off Daichi as he saw that you were playing around with the captains fingers. 

“YEAH DAICHI-SAN, NOT ALL OF US HAVE AN ADORABLE SHORT GIRLFRIEND” Nishinoya joined in, making you glare at Nishinoya.

“I’M NOT THAT SHORT” You yelled back to the male with spiked hair. “YOU’RE SHORTER THEN ME” Noya yelled back.

Daichi let out a sigh, watching his girlfriend bicker with his teammates with a small chuckle. 

“God, I love her so much”

We stan Daichi

HE CAN COOK

Will cook you lunch

In the end

100% husband material 

Also call him daddy

Oikawa Tooru

Now let’s talk about this flat ass man

He loves PDA

Will tell you he loves you

Will grab your hand, pull you onto his lap, kiss you in front of his fangirls-

He means the best-

Loves it when you wear his clothes-

Wear his jersey, his hoodies, his track jacket 

He loves it

Cause it shows that you’re his

He’s lowkey possessive 

Hates it when you and Iwaizumi team up on him

“Flatass oikawa“ Is your nickname for him

jkjkjk

It’s Tooru

Yes you call him by his first name cause we’re basic bitches here okay

You’re basically the unofficial manager of the team cause you care about them too much

They all love you

Sends you good morning and good night texts with his face

cause he’s like that

And Oiks gets jealous

Will wake you up at three am to take you out to see the stars

and look for aliens 

Honestly-

“TOORU OIKAWA DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?“ You exclaimed to your boyfriend as he dragged you out of the window, sitting on the roof at three fourteen in the morning.

“I know it’s late, but Y/n-chan,” The brown haired male started, “there’s a meteor shower and there could be aliens. So we have to watch tonight,” he explained making you sigh. 

You knew you weren’t getting out of this. 

“Don’t you have morning practice?“ You asked, locking your hues with his chocolate coloured ones. He gave you a smile before turning his head up to look at the stars, “Maybe, but that doesn’t concern you,” 

You scrunched your eyebrows before hitting Tooru’s shoulder with your own, “It does concern me,” you started, glaring at the male. You were looking at his side profile. “You’re my boyfriend, and I love your team, of course i’m concerned,” you finished making his eyes widen.

Giving you a small smile, he pulled you in to a side hug, leaning his head on your shoulder.

“Let’s just watch the stars tonight and not care about what happens later”

You and Oikawa miss the next day of school cause the both of you are tired from staying up all night-

I don’t think Oikawa can cook

but-

The meals his fan girls give to him-

eat them sis

He’ll never know anyway

His fangirls learn to like you too, because Oikawa likes you

and they like everything Oikawa likes-

though there are some of the delusional fans who think Oiks is just using you

Which he’s not btw

but take care of this baby-

he needs some love

In the end

100% Tooru material 

Kuroo Tetsurou

Can we talk about this gif for a second-

Like the fourth season did him so good

LIKE I’M SO PROUD

lowkey daddy material-

ANYGAYS

ON TO THE HC’S

He adores you 

like

A D O R E S Y O U

If you try a different style or change your hair style, he thinks it’s adorable

He’s highkey a simp for you

Loves PDA

He loves to grab your thigh when he sits next to you

he’s a thigh guys alright-

Loves kissing you in front of people

etc the whole team-

in front of Daishou-

Does get jealous sometimes, but only if he doesn’t know the person

You and Yaku are mom friends

After all, you do have to take care of a 187cm child

Kuroo lowkey think’s it hot how much you care about people and take care of people-

Study dates are a yes with him

You’ll go to little cafes with him-

CAT CAFES-

Sends you good morning texts at five am

and good night texts at four am

cause ISTG this man does not sleep-

Loves to tease you

If you’re shorter then him-

You’ll be called chibi-chan

Cough Yagami Yato Vibes COUGH

Loves it when you hug him

It makes him feel like a giant 

which he is but- ight

LOVES TO KISS YOU TO DIStract you

You’ll be doing homework in his room and he’ll pull you into a breathless kiss and leave you wanting more-

like-

You twirled your mechanical pencil in your fingers, you eyes glanced down at your homework, science. 

You weren’t the best at it, nor were you the worst but you still had trouble with it. Taking off your glasses, you rubbed at your temples before trying to solve the equation once more. 

Tetsurou glanced into his room, his gold hues stopping at your figure hunched over his desk, homework in front of you. Turning around he got a glass of water and walked into his room once more.

“You’re going to get wrinkles early if you keep doing that face,” The black haired male teased, making you groan and press your forehead against the dark wood of his desk. 

“i don’t get how you like science? It’s so boooring,” you groaned, the pencil rolling out of your hand onto the desk.

You heard your boyfriend chuckle before hearing him walk over to you. You raised your head, watching as his golden hues skimmed over the paper before he let out a small ‘pfft’. 

“This is easy,” he said before explaining it.

You gasp as you finally get it, pushing Tetsurou’s hands away and grabbing your pencil, you began to scribble  the answer down, only to be pulled into a heated kiss. 

Kuroo’s tongue pushing past your lips to meet yours. Your eyes were wide, face slightly pink and hands curled up into loose fists gripping his shirt. You were about to close your eyes before he pulled away, a large smirk formed on his face as he saw you. 

“You need to get back to your paper, I guess i’ll leave you alone”

Let’s just say- you did not get the paper finished, but it was a good outcome-

Okay-

I’m like thirsting Kuroo-

So this is long as fuck-

Kuroo can cook basic things

Will cook for you only if you ask

But if oyu cook for him-

He’s whipped

100% Daddy Boyfriend material

Bokuto Koutarou

Season four bokuto got me feeling some way-

like-

they did my baBY SO GOOD

ANYGAYS-

Hyper boy loves PDA

Will hold you when he has the time to-

Loves to kiss you

Even when Akaashi tells him that it’s going against the school rules-

Loves the difference between your hand and his

The way your hand is so small compared to his

and soft

his hands are huge btw-

Loves to call you pet names 

Birdy, Baby bird, dove etc..

Lots of bird related ones-

Loves it when you go to practice and his games

His spikes will be on p o i n t 

You and Akaashi are buddies

You both have to deal with this hyper male-

Like Kuroo he loves your thighs

if the two of you are cuddling-

hands on thighs

and ass-

He loves to hold you-

Sends you good morning texts at six in the morning

and good night texts at nine pm

This man actually sleeps i think-

The team loves you

You raise bokuto from his lowest on the court.

Will state how much he loves you everyday

“Y/N I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK“

“Y/N I LOVE YOU MORE THEN HINATA LOVES VOLLEYBALL“

yk?

Will get very whiny when you try to do something other then love him

Becomes depressed bokuto until you give him the love and affection he deserves.

Bokuto wasn’t at his best today at all. His spikes were off, his serves either hit the net or went out of bounce. Why, you might ask. well today you decided to get up early without waking up your boyfriend and go to school without waking him up. 

You walked into practice, scrolling threw something on your phone. Quickly looking up you gave the team a small smile before going to sit on the benches, your eyes going back to your phone. 

Bokuto let out another groan as you did’t give him a hug or a kiss or any type of affection. Akaashi soon caught on to what you were doing and marched over to where you were on the bench.

“Y/n-san stop ignoring bokuto-san,” the dark haired male said making you look up at his tall figure before giving him a small laugh. “how did you figure me out?” you asked while standing up and brushing your skirt. 

“Bokuto gets in his depressed mode when you ignore him,” The younger male stated before turning his body so you could see the spiked haired male whining.

You gave the second year a smile before walking over to your whining boyfriend. 

“kou are you alright?” you asked pressing a kiss to his cheek as he was hunched over. Golden hues locked into yours before Bokuto pulled you into his muscular chest.

“Are you done ignoring me?” his whispered as he nipped your ear.

“Yes sir“ you quietly responded, eyes darting around, making sure no one was looking at the two of you.

“that’s a good girl, now go over there and wait for me. You’ll get what you deserve after practice”

-------------------------- 

Okay well we’re done for now with these headcanons- i started this in july and only finished it now-

anygays- I hope you enjoyed these and if you have characters you want me to write a scenario or headcanons. just ask!!

BTW DID YOU KNOW: Oikawa is taller then bokuto, but Bokuto weighs more. That ass got weight that Oikawa’s non-existent ass doesn’t have-

i love you guys💗

✨thank you for reading!!✨

[phytocondria]

Secret Note #7

Quick thanks to my friend @coolcoolglasses for the texting idea and help with Maru's nicknames. I really liked all the dialog in my last fics chapter so consider this a preview/extra for my next chapter on Ao3 whenever I get around to it. (Lil-nightmare is my farmer oc for context) p.s. the spelling mistakes are totally on purpose and not just me not knowing how to spell. (Maybe that too ^-^')

Word Count: 889 Summary: There's a mysterious note on the General Store's bulletin board.

Chicken_lord: dude wtf

StarR00-bot: Wait, what is hat?

*that

Lil-nightmare: Looks like it’s torn out of something

Chicken_lord: idk it was hangin on pierre’s

Lil-nightmare: What’s it say anyways?it doesn’t look like pierre’s normal stationary though

(maybe from a notebook)

StarR00-bot: Or a diary, I can’t make out who's handwriting it is though.

You need a new phone, the camera on yours is a potato dude

Chicken_lord: phones fine brains.

i’ll text what it says in a min

morris has been on our ass lately

Lil-nightmare: Sounds like an hr violation ;P

StarR00-bot: 😱

Gross

Chicken_lord: psssh, he wishes

StarR00-bot: fair, even you have standards

Lil-nightmare: Why do you still work there? You knowthe farms big enough I could hire you on permanently ?

Chicken_lord: and give you a excuse to boss me around

Lil-nightmare: Hey, I'm a cool boss.

I only require your eternal fidelity, and you can keep your first born

Chicken_lord is typing….

StarR00-bot: lol

We both know it’s because Charlie would be mad he’s cheating on her

Lil-nightmare: True, true.

Charlie would be heartbroken knowing you’re meeting with other chicks

StarR00-bot: With a hole other hen house? :0

*whole

How could you?!

Lil-nightmare: Probably smell of void essence on your clothes

StarR00-bot: Catching tbe feathers in your hair

*the

Chicken_lord: there are only a few older bachelors in town none of them are perfect harvey is really anxious and weak but he’d make a loyal and devoted husband he likes coffee and pickles

elliott is a bit foppish and melodramatic but he has anice chin he likes crab cakes and pomegranates

shane is messy and anti-social but I think his gruff exterior is a defense mechanism insulating his softness from the world he likes peer pizza and pepper poppers

Lil-nightmare: DA FRICK!?!?!?!?

StarR00-bot: sdhzxvbkj...

I’m wheezing

wtf?

Chicken_lord: thats what i said

like f***

imagine walking past and seeing this on your way towork

Lil-nightmare: HOLY FATHER OF YOBA. WHO WROTE THAT?!!?

StarR00-bot: And it was on pierre’s?

Chicken_lord: yup

Lil-nightmare: WHY THOUGH?

StarR00-bot: I feel like my brother has something to do with this -.-’

Chicken_lord: your bothers got the hots for older dudes?

Lil-nightmare: dskjcjvh, stop!

StarR00-bot: I mean he’s got the dady issues for that, but no

*daddy issues

Lil-nightmare: scxzfvuk

Chicken_lord: fuk...

good one roostar

Lil-nightmare: I hate all of this

Shane I’m blaming you

StarR00-bot: I meant him or Abi probably put it up

Sounds like something they do, yk

Chicken_lord: whatd i do

im the one with some weird secret admirer

StarR00-bot: And Harvey and Elliott

Lil-nightmare: … Harvey’s not weak though

Chicken_lord: nope

stopping you there

StarR00-bot: same

Don’t need to know that bout my boss

Lil-nightmare: ???

Wait

F*** you guys

I meant figuratively

But also, he’s been helping around the farm more :/

Chicken_lord: don’t need to here you simping over the doc either

Lil-nightmare: SEE THIS IS WHY I CAN ONLY BE NICE TO MARU

StarR00-bot: xD

Chicken_lord: yeah yeah im a a**hat

StarR00-bot: Lol, I’m just the favorite

Chicken_lord: do you mind getting back to whoever wants to workshopme and the doc

StarR00-bot: *sent is a gif of courage the cowardly dog villain saying “you’re not perfect”*

I think someone trying to neg you in their diary

*is

Lil-nightmare: Yeah

I mean messy?

Like they know your room is messy or just your whole deal?

Cause I mean…

Chicken_lord: *gif of someone slowly raising a middle finger in frame*

Lil-nightmare: I mean old you

(mostly)

Cause they also sad beer and not sparkling water

StarR00-bot: Oh yeah, plus you and Harv have been dating for how long already?

Chicken_lord: a decade

Lil-nightmare: *sends the same middle finger gif*

But yeah, it has to be kinda old at least

Chicken_lord: or someones a homewrecker

StarR00-bot: I doubt it

Lil-nightmare: …. 🔪

StarR00-bot: …

Lil-nightmare: So at least they’re on point with Elliot, I guess

And foppish is a weird word choice ya know

Chicken_lord: alex and sam are out don’t have the braincells for vocab

Lil-nightmare: Like aside from elliott, who would actually use the word “foppish”

StarR00-bot: I wanna say rude but I might actually keel over in laughter if I heard either one use the word

But yeah, probably not them or anyone in the note

Lil-nightmare: Or us and PROBABLY not any of the married folk unless… 👀

StarR00-bot: unless…. 👀

Chicken_lord: wat

Lil-nightmare: I mean…. Kent was gone for awhile….

StarR00-bot: nah, she might act mad thirsty, but she’s all talk according to mom

Lil-nightmare: Fair, plus turns out caroline maybe

Actually nvm, i don’t actually know know, yk?

StarR00-bot: NO WAY DOSH

*dish

preedy, pweese 🥺👉👈

Chicken_lord: ugh, your promised no more uwu talk brains

StarR00-bot: Lol

Lil-nightmare: I’ll tell you next time, but lips sealed Roo

StarR00-bot: 🙊

Promise

Chicken_lord: you guys can gossip without me

just wanted to show the weird note but my shifts starting

StarR00-bot: Ok bye, have fun feeding the capitalist machine :D

Chicken_lord: *middle finger gif again*

Lil-nightmare: Hey brng the note over later

(Maybe I’ll recognize the handwriting)

StarR00-bot: Ooooh you guys on the case of who done it?

Chicken_lord: eh not that committed nancy drew

Lil-nightmare: Come on, I got some peppers that nee testing

Plus MochI misses you (and Jas, bring Jas. I haven't seen in her in too long T.T)

Chicken_lord: maybe

[irkenheretic]

5, 26, and 37 c:

5: Favorite Other Race?

i thought this meant my favorite non-irken/human race like in general and i was gonna be "vortians!!!! lol!!" but yeah its vortians and honestlee im not sure if i like lard nar or 777 more? since based on different concepts they do different things like yk in one concept i like 777 more and in another i like lard nar more, but leaning towards lard nar cuz he has an actual personality in the show. like 777 does too but much less so more of it is left up to interpretation yk? idk this is all over the place but vortian supremacy lets get this shit

26: Least favorite scene?

god i remember theres one scene that makes me cringe SO HARD but i DONT REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS. i remember it was like, zim related?? either dib was being (imo unnecessarily) mean to zim OR this was later in the series where zim's character was kinda degrading a little and i was sitting here like "NO WHY IS HE SO STUPID WHY DID THEY WRITE HIM TO BE SO FUCKING STUPID" but for the life of me i dont remember what?? fucking??? scene it was??? and honestly im not gonna go looking for it. i choose blissful ignorance . namaste <3

now that im thinking about it yeah im p sure it was from later on and it was zim being so ooc stupid WAIT NO i REMEMBER

IT WAS WALK FOR UR LIVES

THAT. WHOLE EPISODE.

IDK I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE IT BUT ZIM WAS SO STUPID IN IT LIKE NOT EVEN IN A ZIM WAY IN A COMPLETE FUCKING BRICKHEAD WAY AND ESP TOWARDS THE END I WAS CRINGING BECAUSE ZIM WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING I KNOW UR A LIL WOO-WOO IN THE HEAD BUT NOT LIKE THIS

37: Other than Zim, who is your favorite Irken Invader?

im NOT counting tak because shes technically not an invader and also thats a really easy answer lmfao so SO my favorite isssss

larb :|

tfw u characterize him in ur au so hard u fall in love w the characterization and forget hes basically an oc at that point. that might be a little narcissistic on my part but thats the personality disorder luv <3 anyway yeah my characterization of larb is this weird mix of bootlicker and defective where hes absolutely deepthroating the boot 24/7 but WOULD fuck zim given the opportunity. hes also a major simp for this other character thats his love interest. shes basically just.... ctrl c ctrl v zim. hes a bicon but only if its zim or a zim derivative. luv that for him!

[jewel-s-blog]

about me + bias list

 hi there, I’m jewel :)

she/her/hers ・ 20 ・ kpop (writing) blog

Yes, Jewel is my real name although my parents admit I was supposed to be named elizabeth but changed their minds last minute after I was born how cute and I’m currently in university. I study political science and japanese for those wondering (because yes, I am japanese and it’s helpful when you live in hawaii to have that degree yk?). If any of this stuff is even mildly interesting and you have any curiosities, pls feel free to ask me!

I try to write some things when I can, so feel free to take a look at my masterlist. I also read A LOT of fics on this site, so also peep my recs if you feel like it. Warning: its mostly fluff and angst and almost always includes smut but there’s some really good stuff worth reading still! 

Feel free to talk to me :) i don’t have any kpop friends irl :( all my friends are locals smh 

I try my hardest to be active as much as possible but it’s taken me over a year to finally get used to tumblr lol marklee and i both struggle with complex technology i guess Of course, there are times when I get busy with college and will probably seem to drop off the face of the planet exam season kills but now that I’ve been in quarantine for a month, I figured now is the best time to start building an active tumblr routine. 

That’s all for now! Keep reading below for my bias list :)

xoxo, jewel <3

Bias List 

Before I begin, I will warn that this is basically a giant NCT shxtpost. With LOTS of hyperlinks for educational purposes and absolute crackhead-ery. I’ll eventually make a separate list for other groups I stan, but this blog is mainly NCT and this is already so long so I’ll leave it as this. Enjoy!

Biases are bolded in the beginning of each unit, so you can skip everything after if you don’t wanna see my ramblings following it.

A/N: After biasing nearly every member in NCT/WayV I’ve settled for now on my biases for each unit. This will most likely rotate fairly regularly as I literally fall in love with a different member every day cited here. solo stan? I don’t know her.

ULT

Jaehyun  *ahem excuse me i mean* 

Johnny Suh, it’s official. Don’t know how to explain, but I love everything about him. In the end, it’s always him. damn i sound like y/n thoughts but istg it’s true From SM Rookies to NCT Life to MV behinds, he’s the one. But I’ve also come to realize that I find myself most relatable to him as a person and I think that’s why no one else can trump him wow narcissist much jewel It’s kind of just my gut feeling. It also helps that hes the fluffiest tall, muscular tight booty hottie on the planet. See this black on black dance practice for further scientific explanation even in this jaehyun trying to wreck me so badddddd

Not gonna lie, I HAD IT BAD FOR MARK LEE still do and yet Johnny overcame that. If mark lee were my first love, johnny is my soulmate.

UPDATE! 

Lee Jeno has officially been added to the ult list. *See the entirety of my april activity on my sns accounts if you would like to see how this happened haha :)

NCT U  

im in love with him bc he literally reminds me of my boyfriend -- i like chill guys ok

Taeil is my little teddy bear who looks great in red hair and has a voice form heaven. Evidence? Here you go. He didn’t stand out to me much in the beginning because I was either deaf or blind but after Chain, the game was OVER. +moon taeil in shorts?? serve them thighs honey. Love you bebe tomato <3

BUT Doyoung is the #1 bias wrecker here because have you seen his cover of beautiful on masked singer?? have you?? if not, let me educate you. Also his collab with Sejeong?? Literally the cutest MV ever, perfect for Christmas, listened to it every year since it’s release.

Listen to Coming Home - NCT U for further scientific evidence that NCT has top vocals in the kpop industry.

NCT 127

THE Jung Jaehyun. For reasons that need no explanation. but ill give it anyway smh

After watching the performance of herin and jaehyun singing a whole new world I knew that was it for me. (I still watch it once a month for my jaehyun-related health and to honor SM’s biggest loss, seo herin and ji hansol but thats for another conversation) back to jaehyun His vocals are unique in NCT and bring a nice color to their songs, the man looks good in literally anything, and I’ll probably say this about every member, but I love his dance style--body rolls for days sis. Definitely my ideal type, which my boyfriend is 100% aware of; no secrets in my relationship ofc which explains the wreckage. Pretty sure 81% of the fandom gets wrecked by him daily, so I think I’ll stop here. 

NCT Dream 

Renjun.  why? i just think he’s neat but no really, it was this performance (ok actually this got me ALL SORTS OF WRECKED) and this fancam that had me falling in love with him but were gonna ignore the fact that I get bias wrecked DAILY by all the other members  GOd-tier vocals, personality for daysssssss, variety KING HUANG RENJUN. Safe to claim that I go into renjun feels about 3x a week. Check my twitter for proof. +dnyl renjun was a blessing and I sometimes cant believe that it actually happened. How do I explain?? He’s literally the best boy, but when he gets all worked up....let’s stop there before I have to go to confession again.

But for fun, lets list why I have biased every dream member at some point shall we? (in no particular order) Dream might just be my ult group, songs always bop, members at star quality 

mark- yes i am including mark bc he was the reason i even started stanning dream dreamies leader since mmc days, mentor, A1 rap skills, ad libs go crazy, unparalleled dancing style, hardest worker, cutest watermelon advocate ever, all around amazing person can you tell he used to be my ult? + he’s a good christian boy and my catholic *ss has to confess my sins for being a simp for him 24/7

chenle- vocal GOD, most steady live vocals in kpop, laugh to die for

jeno- i cannot resist his eye smile i wanna cuddle and onstage charisma-2:54 “let’s goooooo” and i alskfdfjlkdldkfa. 

jaemin- “other than my members, i don’t have any friends” and yet he’s literally the most caring and wonderful little puff in existence fight me pls dont im a pacifist 

heachan- idk why but donghyukie feels like he could be my best friend and also cant stop staring at him in their dance practices his body proportions are unreal and his vocal ad libs?? don’t even get me STARTED on heachans vocals

jisung- he is my son, but also my son’s vocals?? MWAH that voice got me second guessing if he’s really my son 

WayV 

Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul another member where it kinda just....happened? In the end I was like “damn, when did you sneaky bugger get in my heart?” He’s got a similar vibe as Johnny AND DO NOT COME FOR MY THROAT FOR SAYING THAT THATS MY OPINION Like Johnny, I see myself in Ten. There are so many reasons why I love Ten, so I’ll make it simple and provide them to you. 

Reason 1 - Performance/dance  he just hit different, he’s THAT good. Reason 2 - vocals the amount his vocals has improved?? UNMATCHED. Reason 3 - INTELLECTUAL (still trying to find the clip of him talking about different kinds of love) Reason 4 - multi-lingual KING ok so this vid is him struggling in mandarin, but imagine, you speak thai and english and learn korean to debut and all of a sudden your agency says “ok learn chinese now.” MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST LANGUAGES TO LEARN. Reason 5 - bad b*tch he just radiates bad bitxh energy in everything he does, and I appreciate a bad bitxh

BUT I love wayv’s chaotic energy and chemistry so much that I literally love them all dreamies watch out 

+special shoutout to xiaojuns vocals in Love Talk

+kun being a dimpled zaddy (jaehyun&kun type CONFIRMED)

+lucas holding binoculars like THAT @ 1:10

+yangx2 doing THIS (prepare to be blown away)

+hendery being a the best teacher 

+winwin BEING WINWIN THE DANCE GOD 

+winwin AGAIN and with Ten here i don’t even think i have to say that i tweeted about this everyday for a month and im still not over it. This specific dance really allowed winwin to shine even though ten is my bias. It really allowed others to see the fruit of his classical training even in modern dance which he never trained in. Not gonna be repetitive and SCREAM  say that he’s underrated, because we all know that already. Just show winwin some love, ok? thank you.

And so finally, we’ve reached the end. Phew, this took me almost 5 hours to put together because I definitely got carried away. For those who made it all the way to the end, thank you, I love you. It’s so messy and I don’t have the mental capacity to do anymore editing but I hope you got something from this massive post <3 Feel free to let me know what you think! xoxo, jewel