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adultswim2021 · 2 months

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Yappy Broads #1 | February 22, 2010 (online) | Pilot

Yappy Broads isn’t too complicated to explain. It’s a The View style women’s program with five “women”, four of which are men in drag doing very little to actually act like women. We got Larry Dorf, Tommy Blacha, Earthquake, and Dino Stamatopoulos all wearing freaking dresses and dang-ass woman wigs. Their straight woman is Shandi Finnessey, an actual former beauty queen. One could sexistly say that she is there to look hot, but that would suggest that anyone else involved had some other higher purpose for being there.

First they talk to a woman peddling a workout for your face called “Facersize”. There’s chatter about various topics of the day, and then Corey Feldman stinks it up by hawking his CD and his bad Lost Boys sequel. Have you seen it? I haven’t, but I bet it’s bad. The closing credits feature a close-up of Shandi holding a shaky bunny rabbit, which is pretty nice.

The entire thing is ad-libbed, with a group of funny fellas all chiming in with attempts to be funny. There are moments that show promise, and they usually involve Dino being cantankerous. It seems highly edited down, yet the highlights are still sparse. The single defining moment of this show is Earthquake commenting on a nose exercise: “you know how much cocaine you could do with your nose like this? (no audience response) You be tore up! (no laughter).” To be fair to the show, I did laugh at that, but not in a nice way.

There’s something special about watching TV go off the rails. But this seems like it was designed to already be off the rails. I didn’t really enjoy this. I can’t tell if the problem is that they’ve edited it down too much or if they didn’t edit it down enough. I would love to see the unedited taping of these segments to judge for myself. Even if this were especially funny, it still seems a little wrong to air something like this on a weekly basis.

Anyway, Shandi Finnessey has only done one nude photoshoot and it was for Peta.

MAIL BAG

The Simpsons has killed off its beloved character Larry Dalrymple or "Larry The Barfly." Thoughts on this development? Memories to share? Comments? Questions? Dyns?

I actually watched some of a YouTube video about this and the commenter took issue with the story of the episode being about Larry being lonely and left-out Homer and his friend's fun adventures, because they observed that Larry seemed like he was friends with the hat guy, and that it was a horrible omission. Like the writers should just be presenting an episode that strives to not contradict the previous 800 episodes instead of doing a specific, interesting story. Seemed like a baby-brained way of complaining about the show. My baby-brained takes on cartoons are the only takes that truly matter.

Soul Quest Overdrive has the leader of the proud boys as a voice actor on the show. He was the one who spearheaded that whole January 6th insurrection thing back in 2021, the one that every news outlet was comparing to 9/11 when it was really more like the world's biggest temper-tantrum. He blamed the show being cancelled on the other VA's "Not being as funny" as him.

It's weird how I've hated that guy for as long as I've known about him, and him doing a 180 politics-wise did nothing to affect his standings. But January 6th is maybe the hardest I've ever laughed at anything, so I guess he does deserve some credit.

I don't really know WHY they changed them to sports equipment, this is pure conjecture, but maybe AS felt like having 2 food shows on at the same time was a bit too cheap/cash grabby, so they changed them to differentiate it a bit more. I know they've shot down shows related to hell and food when Development Meeting was still running since they hit that well so many times.

Yeah, that actually does sell the case for it being a creative decision. Maybe it's not sneaky at all, what they're doing.

As for "Eggball", if you look closely on the pinball machine you can see black shake as a decal on it, still on (HBO)max. They can erase a HNIC but they can never erase history.

I had read about black guy cup being on the machine, but I simply must admit that I did not notice it myself!!! Not sure what those letters mean there, but I'm going to assume that none of them are slurs and publish this immediately without looking it up.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #yappy broads

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legion1227 · 1 year

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Kingdom Hearts 1: Review

I never had the privilege of beating this game until this year. (And even then, I somewhat wasn't the one to beat it).

I don't remember how I acquired it, but as a child, I somehow got my hands on a copy of Kingdom Hearts 1 on the PS2. I believe someone either gave it to me of their own free will or let me borrow it but forgot to ask for it back. Either way, I played Kingdom Hearts every now and then as a kid, but I never reached far. After the tutorial and the first island, I don't think I ever really got past the first level. I was too young and inexperienced to find a way to surpass one of the first boss fights in the game. But, a few years ago, I acquired the "The Story so Far" Kingdom Hearts collection, acquiring every game out at the time, (minus Kingdom Hearts 3). After putting significant time into Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, I decided to take a crack once more at the first Kingdom Hearts game for the first time in over a decade. I managed to clear multiple levels with varying degrees of ease until I got stuck on that big demon bitch from Fantasia. (Chernabog). I died too many times, and rage quitted, not picking up the game for at least a year. I picked up from where I left off that year and managed to beat him after dying several other times but hit a wall once again. The final boss, Ansem, and his different variations and boss forms are ridiculous. First, you have to fight Ansem on the island from the beginning of the game alongside Goofy and Donald. It was an egregiously taxing endeavor, but it's absolutely doable. But after beating him, you have to fight him again without Goofy and Donald, and I just can not. Those animals were carrying me the first go around, and without them I am incapable. Shoutout to my friend who managed to beat his ass for me after grinding a collective few hours, basically carrying me to the finish line.

There's no way I could have beaten Ansem the next few times without help. But now that it's finished on my account, let's talk about it.

The plot of the Kingdom Hearts franchise is incredibly convoluted and hard to follow, but the first game's story is, mercifully, the easiest and most comprehensible without taking into account events from other games. You play a fourteen-year-old boy named Sora after his home is destroyed by dastardly creatures called the Heartless. Along the journey, Sora tries to restore his world and reunite with his friends, while running into well-known and beloved Disney characters, as well as some Final Fantasy characters. Donald Duck and Goofy join him along the way as you jump into worlds from popular Disney films. Releasing initially in America on September 17, 2002, on the PS2, the game still doesn't look too bad, graphics-wise, for being over twenty years old.

Part of the charm in Kingdom Hearts stems from how likable and cutesy our protagonist Sora is as he interacts with iconic Disney princesses, villains, and everyone in between. There's Atlantica from The Little Mermaid, Neverland from Peter Pan, Halloween Town from Nightmare Before Christmas, Agrabah from Aladdin, and other well-known worlds, plus some original places. From a design perspective, roaming around these popular fictional worlds feels akin to watching the movies once more. Roaming around the bizarre world of Wonderland is none too different from Alice's own escapades in the original film. What's even more remarkable is how the team behind the game, the minds at Square Enix, managed to get most of the original voice actors and actresses to reprise the roles of their esteemed characters for the game. It helps add authenticity while you're combatting the Heartless. (Except they couldn't get Robin Williams to reprise as Genie in Agrabah, opting for Dan Castlellaneta to voice him instead, which is fine, but all I hear is Homer Simpson whenever Genie talks). Some levels are more inspiring and fun than others, but most are a riot to traverse through. I love how depending on the world, you can bring along a character to help you fight enemies. When you're in Deep Jungle, the same jungle from the film Tarzan, you can replace Donald or Goofy and have Tarzan accompany you in the fight if you please. I wish they could tag along instead, rather than outright replace Donald or Goofy but I appreciate that they can even tag along with you, to begin with...

Enemies' designs are another plus, as I love how the Heartless looks will vary in each world. Adopting spooky looks to fit the vibe of Halloween Town, fish, and merman looks in Atlantica, and animals like monkeys in Deep Jungle are what make the first game so unique from most other action RPGs. The gameplay in KH1 is still fun. The weapon Sora uses, a Keyblade, has weight to it as you smack around bosses and enemies alike. Dodging and deflecting attacks, casting spells, and swinging your blade is an uproariously satisfactory feeling that was only improved in future games like Birth By Sleep and Kingdom Hearts 2.

There are a few gripes I have with the game, however. Some levels are nowhere near as fun to go through, lacking in care as Halloween Town or Wonderland. I like that the Pinocchio representation is that you go inside the whale Monstro rather than a town, and I enjoy the flash of colors within the massive whale as you travel throughout his body. But the maze-like structure of the world gets tiresome real quick as you struggle to go where you need. Neverland is incredibly limited as you can only head toward Captain Hook's ship or Big Ben, which are small in scale.

And Tarzan's Deep Jungle just fucking sucks.

Besides a few poor-level designs, my other gripe stems from the sudden uptick in difficulty within the last hour or two. I already mentioned Chernabog and Ansem, but besides them, the final leg of the game becomes unnecessarily more difficult and rage-inducing. It's a steep contrast from the rest of the game. Honestly, most of the game is durable, but it's just right at the end when it becomes ridiculously unfair.

Story-wise, it's just cheesy goodness. That's all I'll say. It's a blast to see Sora, Donald, and Goofy interact with classic Disney and game characters. The game isn't perfect, but it's fun and still holds up twenty years later. I'm glad I got to see through to the end, and I'm looking forward to going through the rest of the franchise, the game is greeaaaaaat. 4/5.

#kingdom hearts #video games #game review #review #kh sora #lol

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cupidlakes · 3 years

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We're getting so much George lore about his childhood games!! Ratchet and Clank my Beloved 😭

i know!!! i wish i was listening more intently i was v distracted at work but it’s always fun to hear abt the games george has played outside of the ones we know :] he also mentioned and suggested karl play simpsons hit and run which hit me w/ a massive wave of nostalgia !! i love that game, realising it’d be so cool to see george play more old games on stream i’m like george please invest in this idea, it’s very personal when you get nostalgic

#asks #i’m like hi george i need to know if you’ve played spyro #HES mentioned having played crash bandicoot actually and i’m like yaassss #my childhood games ^_^ i miss my little old ps2 #georgenotfound

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fictionz · 2 years

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New Fiction 2022 - January

"2 B R 0 2 B" by Kurt Vonnegut (1962)

This is the first Vonnegut I’ve read in full. Is it satire? It’s certainly dark. I will continue.

"From the Deposition of the Vaginal Teeth" by Elizabeth H. Turner (2022)

They speak for themselves.

Avatar: Book One by S.D. Perry (2003)

This really should have been grouped with its latter half... but as an opening statement, it’s a bold one. I’ve been looking forward to this longer work from Perry since reading some of her short entries in the Deep Space Nine anthologies. Rather than settle into the peaceful promise of the end of the series, it shakes things up with some fairly shocking moments.

Avatar: Book Two by S.D. Perry (2003)

And I just gotta say, the Avatar duology is phenomenal. I love the focus on Kira as commander of the station and that Bajoran faith and religion continue to play a vital role. As a post-war trauma narrative, it's also fascinating to see them deal with their feelings in the aftermath.

"Lot's Wife" by Anna Akhmatova (1973)

I’ve started reading the bible and allow me the heresy of saying that--much like The Simpsons--other stories becomes that much better when I understand the references. I’ve known about Lot’s wife for a while but now I really understand the outrage. God didn’t have to go that hard.

"The Door in the Kitchen" by Abby Howard (2019)

My love of creepy horror comics continues unabated.

Displacement by Kiku Hughes (2020)

Written in the time when Trump was dominating the public consciousness against our will, this is a nuanced examination of experiences we don’t read about in history books. “Never again” feels like something we aspire to and never achieve, so I hope we continue to get books like these to remind us.

"Slide in the Woods" dev. Jonny's Games (2021)

Listen, do you want creepy things? Because that’s what happens when you put a slide in the woods.

Florence dev. Mountains (2018)

I loved everything about it. Light on gameplay, heavy on the feels.

"The Snowman" dir. Dianne Jackson (1982)

I can’t believe this isn’t as big a deal outside the UK as it should be. It’s an amazing animated film.

"Baker Bobb" dir. Billy Burger (2018)

Cute little short from a local group.

"Magnetic Rose" dir. Kōji Morimoto (1995)

Goddamn, that nineties anime hits hard.

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie dir. Shinichirō Watanabe (2001)

If you’re going to make a movie from a beloved series, this is the way to do it.

The Tragedy of Macbeth dir. Joel Coen (2021)

German expressionism gets me every time.

The 355 dir. Simon Kinberg (2022)

I want more of these. More women-led action is the way to go.

The King's Man dir. Matthew Vaughn (2021)

What a bizarre movie. Tonally, it's trying to be a period war drama but also a ridiculous action comedy.

Scream dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olphin & Tyler Gillett (2022)

I guess it’s neat, but I hadn’t seen the fourth before I watched this. Then I did and this was missing a crucial character...

Scream 4 dir. Wes Craven (2011)

Bring back Kirby.

Belle dir. Mamoru Hosoda (2021)

This was a great movie, it seems like it's going to be one thing but then takes a turn. And the animation is :chefkiss:.

Licorice Pizza dir. Paul Thomas Anderson (2021)

Nothing has ever inspired me to run for the joy of it like Licorice Pizza does. I had a real strong aversion to it based on the trailer... you know, more nostalgic dude filmmakers who grew up in the valley in the sixties and seventies. But I liked its meandering. I like a good meandering plot. The cast were great of course. Also so white as are all these nostalgic era movies. I think that's strong points against it. It makes me wanna go rewatch The Wood or Dope.

What If...? - "What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?" (2021)

I intended to watch the series, but after the first episode I really just want more of Captain Carter.

Cowboy Bebop (1998)

Yep it’s a classic. I’ll have to rewatch this sometime soon. The early aughts was an embarrassment of space western riches.

Cowboy Bebop (2021)

This isn’t the anime and I think their attempt to be like the anime hurt the series. I enjoyed it as its own work, and really wished they’d gotten a second season to smooth out the rough edges. The casting in particular is great.

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emy-mystory · 3 years

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Unit 3: KIDSNEXTDOOR

Probably a good amount of my childhood was dedicated to watching cartoons. I did have my fair share of drama shows on Nickelodeon but the cartoon shows that were shown on Cartoon Network were always the most intriguing to me. I'm talking about Chowder, Misadventures of Flapjack, Total Drama Island, Adventure Time, Regular Show, etc. I even enjoyed watching the older cartoons that the channel would show early in the morning which included classic Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry episodes. In fact, I've actually always have had a soft spot for older cartoons. For some reason, it gives me a sense of comforting nostalgia that I wished I had endured earlier. I currently feel the same about the older Simpsons episodes but that's not the case for this assignment.

The one cartoon that sticks with me the most was this very awesome, action-packed show called Codename: Kids Next Door.

If you have not seen at least an episode of Codename: Kids Next Door then you either did not have a TV, a great childhood, or both.

This show was so engagingly unique, that I would not mind doing a marathon of rewatching all of the episodes X2.

It was a show focused on these five friends that all lived in a rambunctious treehouse that acted as their headquarters for their sector V, Kids Next Door. Each kid is usually referred to as their number (1-5) and has a specialty that can range from smarts to fighting wit. In order to defend themselves from enemy agent sectors of teenagers and adults, they create and utilize wacky gadgets that can be made from odd materials such as bubblegum, old wood, spare tires, etc. They belong to a bigger agent organization of other sectors also filled with kids that have the same purpose. The universe of this show is so well-thought-out that it can easily become a world one kid would wish to live in. Overall, each episode consists of one goofy yet intense mission after another which leaves you with bewildering eyes while being on the edge of your seat every time.

I must admit, I have to give credit for the diversity given in this main cast. Literally, one kid is British (red) while the other Australian (orange). We have representation of POC (Black and Asian), and there's even body diversity from the heavy kid! (Blue)

I think it's pretty safe to say that almost every kid's dream was to make and live in a treehouse. Unless you have a fear of termites.

The whole show in general really did cater to kids. Whether if it was imagination fueled by the variety of weapons and missions or the distaste of teenage culture and embarrassing parents, it really was genuine to being level-headed with the perspective from a child's visionary point of view. To me, the show took on a genuine take on being made for kids.

It even covered a variety of topics that would have the affected demographic be children. But it did it in a way where it was not only creative but also obtain a more complex feature to it. For the sake of keeping the storyline interesting while also making the lesson of the episode even more memorable for children to learn from. Whether it'd be out of reflection or relatability.

I'm talking about:

PINKEYE

(I actually related to this one because I would always get pink eye. Oddly enough, I think I had pink eye while watching this episode for the first time.)

LICE

BEING FORCEFED GRANDMA'S FOOD

A KID'S CURIOSITY OF HOW A TEENAGE GIRL'S BODY FUNCTIONS

Even though the storyline of these episodes would be rather dramatic, it still was fun to watch all the creativity unfold as a child. If anything, it helped lighten the mood of such issues with witty dialogue, ambitious fighting climaxes, and silly innocence. It gives allows children to feel relatability on certain issues they would go through in which can be whole-heartily comforting to a child's fear of getting lice or pinkeye for the first time. I know I was pretty comforted or at least felt accompanied to the pinkeye episode when I saw it for the first time. It felt cool to see some other kids going through the same thing all the while the episode takes a dramatic turn to help alleviate that common, boring topic into a story concept that's grander and intricate; something that will interest the kids. Overall, these episodes gave kids a distracting yet whimsical portrayal of life's struggles.

I would like to touch base back to the bra conversation. Basically in that episode, Number 1 and Number 2 thought BRAs stood for "Battle Ready Armor," which made them think bras were actually magical weapons to help them fight more efficiently. (I wish)

So they went to their friend's house (Number 5) who was sick at the time. While keeping up a front to "care" for their friend, they ended up sneaking into her teenage sister Cree's bedroom where they found her stash of bras.

And I'm pretty sure you can figure out how that went...

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(Of course anything with bras is forbidden for children, right?)

((I really hope you can see this because this scene itself just defines the badass action sequences this show can hold))

Anyways, I wanted to point this out because it reveals also another theme that is prevalent in this show: Growing up.

As I said, this show presents agent organizations run by kids, teenagers, and adults. Well, it is actually all a tear-jerking cycle that is upheld within this universe.

The kids are kids until they are 13 where they are decommissioned and get transferred to the teenager agent organization where they stay until they are 18.

Even though this process sounds absurd, the sentimental value of it hits harder than you think...

youtube

Yes, they wipe any memories they have of being in the Kids Next Door.

This explains why teenagers can be so fierce and violent towards KND because they do not have any recollection to possess any empathy for the organization they partook in during their beloved childhood years. This heavy implication of agism can connect back to how as teenagers, we always think being a child is embarrassing. But that's probably because we barely take any consideration of all the fun that emerged in being a kid.

And of course, there are some goofy gags to this kid vs teenagers concept as well..:P

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(The slapstick comedy and clever humor from both videos always gives me a giggle)

(I guess babies come from Philly...you heard the man!)

((I also want to point out how Number's 5 "knowledge" of such a provocative concept just added to her spunkiness because it implies that she's supposed to be that one friend that happens to know a lot more than you do. From that, I always thought of her as an iconic girl character whom I wished was my friend...she really did give out that Boss Girl energy))

But regarding the growing up issue brought up in the show, I can still say that topic is also relevant to me, even to this day. Especially when it came to graduating high school, going to college, trying to make a name for myself, etc. I kind of wanted to take some kind of gap year or break or SOMETHING from it all to stop myself from feeling older and proceeding to life's deeper void. But I know I should not view it that way. We should not view growing up as something so disgraceful. We, especially I, should start viewing it as a way to grow wiser, to sustain emotional strength, etc. because how else are we going to learn from life's values and struggles if we don't have the willpower to maneuver through it in the first place? How will we know we won't succeed if we don't even make an effort trying? We shouldn't let agism intimidate us with demeaning stereotypes as there is advice to be taken and lessons to be learned.

In conclusion, Codename: Kids Next Door helped kids feel known, reassured, and most of all, have fun.

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pagetgram · 4 years

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Getting To Know The Cast Of Criminal Minds

As Criminal Minds rolls out its 15th and final season, the beloved cast gathers to discuss serial killers (what else?), special guest stars, and their millions of phenomenal fans in this exclusive interview. (x,x)

By David Hochman

The scene is quintessential Hollywood: a train station at dusk. Steam billowing up from the tracks. Loved ones bracing for their emotional farewells. What could be more fitting for the cast of Criminal Minds?

Chugging into its 15th and final season after more than 300 episodes, the police procedural is among the 10 longest-running dramas of all time, and in the top 20 for longest-running scripted television shows. "This is Gunsmoke and Guinness Book territory," says Matthew Gray Gubler, who has played quirky FBI brainiac Dr. Spencer Reid since episode 1.

To honor the landmark occasion, all eight series regulars are gathered at a railway museum in L.A.'s Griffith Park for photos, poignant reflections, and a few behind-the-scenes confessions (mostly involving a tradition called "hot tub wine machine"—stay tuned).

On TV, the tenacious profilers of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit—or simply "BAU" to fans—are a hard-bitten bunch, tracking down serial killers and other vicious "unsubs." But in person, clearly good friends across the board and decked out today in their spiffiest finery, the cast can scarcely hold back tears as they get candid about their extended journey together and what it means to come to the end—sniff, sniff—of Criminal Minds.

Originally published in Watch! Magazine, July-August 2019.

Judging from the misty eyes and group hugs, it looks like the series wrap-up is generating "all the feels," as they say. Are you able to get through scenes this season without a tissue break?

Joe Mantegna (Senior Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi, Seasons 3-present): This is my 50th year in show business, and next to voicing on The Simpsons, Rossi is my longest-running role. I came in with dark hair and now it's gray. I arrived without much of a game plan, and the show and character are now a deep part of who I am. This cast is a true family for me. So every episode this year has an added bittersweet layer. When the director announces, "This is the last profile scene" or "This is our last scene on the jet," you look around with a real sense of passing. It's monumental.

Kirsten Vangsness (BAU Technical Analyst and Media Liaison Penelope Garcia, Seasons 1-present): The term that keeps coming up is "ambiguous loss"—that feeling of losing something you love, and that everything's about to change. In this case it's not a person, thank goodness. But still, in the middle of a scene, it hits you. But you can't cry; you have all this makeup on. Plus, what are you crying for? It's been such an incredible experience. I will have done every single episode except episode 5, every episode of the first spinoff, and two episodes of the second spinoff. I love these people. No, sir. I'm not crying. You're crying. [Editor's note: She's crying.]

Paget Brewster (Supervisory Special Agent and BAU Unit Chief Emily Prentiss, Seasons 2-7, 9, 11-present): Um, I'm in complete denial, so I'll break down into tears the week after we end, but not before. I'm pretending this show's never, ever going to end.

Without spoiling anything, what can you say about Season 15?

A.J. Cook (Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Seasons 1-present): Well, I can tell you that we will find out what happens now that JJ has expressed her true feelings for Dr. Reid.

Matthew Gray Gubler (Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid, Seasons 1-present): Don't you mean "Jeid?" That's what the internet is calling us. Hey, I'm not spoiling anything. I mean, don't rule out, uh, "Jemily" or "Jarcia" this season, either!

Adam Rodriguez (Supervisory Special Agent Luke Alvez, Seasons 12-present): And we do have guest stars. We love guest stars! [Editor's note: Among others, watch for Jane Lynch to return as Reid's schizophrenic mother, and for Rachael Leigh Cook as a potential new love interest for Reid.]

Daniel Henney (Supervisory Special Agent Matt Simmons, Seasons 10, 12-present): Overall, I'd say 15 has more of an arc through the episodes than previous seasons. Our unsub, Chameleon, is played by Michael Mosley, and he's definitely into some gruesome, creepy stuff.

Brewster: Like, we have a scene where a bunch of body parts are hanging from a tree. Our prop guy, who's a professional fisherman in real life, was on top of a 15-foot ladder with a foot and an ear hanging off his fishing pole.

Aisha Tyler (Special Agent Dr. Tara Lewis and forensic psychologist, Seasons 11-present): And people wonder why my house in L.A. is like a fortress and I'm armed! I'd say it's a direct result of Criminal Minds. This show is definitely dark. I'm not going around profiling sociopaths and serial killers, but, yeah, being on Criminal Minds, you become more perceptive about people's bad behavior.

Anybody else find it hard letting go in real life after chasing serial killers at work all day?

Cook: I'm blessed with a good shut-off switch. Once the day's done, I can block everything out. But as soon as I became a mom, something shifted where the naive girl from Canada got the boot and mama bear arrived. We saw that happen with JJ on the show, too. When she became a mom, it was suddenly like, "Whoa, watch out for that guy in the park!"

Henney: I'll tell you a story. About two months ago, I'm at home sleeping and a burglar alarm goes off, and I literally switched into Simmons mode. All the training I'd done with the FBI guys and our tech advisers instantly came into play. I threw on black sweatpants. I was creeping around the perimeter of my house, FBI-style. I clocked all my points of ingress and egress. When you do so many episodes, basic instincts kick in.

Did you identify the unsub?

Henney: Nobody was there! It was a stupid, faulty window sensor.

Brewster: The show definitely sharpens your reactions to your surroundings. When you start the show, you have access to the FBI training manual, which, frankly, no civilian should ever see because the photographs are so grisly. You end up going through a period of hypervigilance where you can't go into a sandwich shop or airport without thinking, Uh-oh! I think that couple's going to end up in a domestic dispute tonight.

Group question: What's your standout memory from these many seasons?

Rodriguez: I jumped onto this flying carpet 12 seasons in, and my first scene was out in the middle of the desert, and we shot all night long. There was an old car that was supposed to be in the scene, but it broke down and they ended up rolling it into the shot, which was funny. But more than that, I remember how welcoming people were. I was the new guy, but I felt immediately at home.

Brewster: We watched your family grow, too, Adam. You had a kid. A.J. had two kids. I met my husband on set. We've been lucky enough to live our lives and develop together as people.

Cook: For me, having both my boys appear in the show was an absolute treasure. Mekhai, who's 10, has been doing it way longer than Phoenix, who's 4, and he loves it, though I can't tell if it's the acting or that everybody's giving him cookies and ice cream all the time.

Henney: I was really proud to play Simmons because, as an Asian American actor, you don't often get the chance to play the quintessential American guy's guy. He's married to a Caucasian woman and has mixed-race children—which is true with me, too [Henney is also of mixed descent]—and I loved representing that on television. To have a kissing scene with Kelly, my wife on the show—you weren't seeing that 10 years ago.

Tyler: Directing a couple episodes was an incredible opportunity. But for me, just the experience of seeing this through to the end is so rewarding. I was only supposed to do six episodes. Everything's been gravy since then.

Mantegna: Hands down, my highlight was being able to work in my passion for law enforcement and the military by making my FBI character a former Marine. That allowed me to bring in Meshach Taylor, one of my dearest, oldest friends, as my commanding officer in Vietnam, and directing two of the three episodes that involved him as a character.

That included the episode where his character died, because Meshach had died. To actually bury him on camera as my dear friend—I'm the godfather of his kids, and he's the godfather of mine—it was everything. If I do nothing else on television, doing that for Meshach to me means the top of the ladder.

TV shows come and go. How do you explain the enduring success of Criminal Minds?

Tyler: Well, I'd say it's not about prurient interest in the macabre. I think the reason people like the show is because we want to know that there's a smart, dedicated team of professionals out there working very hard to make sure that the rest of us stay safe. Even if we don't know who they are and we can't see them, it's comforting that people are sacrificing their personal lives and their relationships so that they can put evil people away.

Rodriguez: I meet young people all the time, teenagers, who love the show and say they love the game of it all—figuring out how these processes work and the skills that go into solving crimes. I think we've probably inspired a generation of people to go into this important work—on the good-guy side, not on the bad.

Cook: So many people have struggled in their lives, and they can relate to what they see on the show. Hardworking moms, people that have been abused, people who've experienced loss.

Vangsness: I think it comes down to a show with some of the greatest characters on television. Garcia is just a bundle of positive energy, and that resonated. Her desk is a living piece of art to how she's connected with the audience. I've got a papier-mâché heart pen a fan from France gave me. There's a little rabbit from a fan in Japan. A German woman knitted a Penelope doll that's sitting there. Oh, and Richard Simmons gave me a necklace one time because he loved the show!

Criminal Minds fans are a devoted bunch.

Henney: I once checked into a ski lodge in Switzerland and my television wasn't working, so I went to the front desk. The two desk guys started staring at me like zombies and pointed to their TV, where Criminal Minds was on, with me on the screen.

Brewster: It takes you by surprise in the weirdest places. You'll be in a bathroom at a movie theater and girls are outside whispering, That's Emily Prentiss, and they wait for you to finish so you can wash your hands and hug them.

What are you going to miss most about the show?

Cook: Um, everything. The scenes in the jet are my favorites because it's such a tight space that we forget we're on a TV show and just enjoy hanging out together. This show, for me, was a coming of age. You can look online and find me in the beginning of season 1 wearing this ridiculous pink pinstriped blazer that will haunt me forever. I look like I'm 12. But I've grown up along with JJ. [Tearing up.] I'll miss it all so much.

Gubler: Likewise, I really look up to Spencer Reid, and I feel so honored to have played him for so long. I will miss his long, you know, three-page monologues of technical jargon about protons or whatever. I'll miss the way he holds his hands like an ostrich foot when he's solving a problem. He's definitely way smarter than I'll ever be, but I like to think that some Dr. Reid qualities have imbued themselves into my own personality a little bit. If nothing else, I've adopted his ever-changing hairstyles.

Tyler: I'll miss being an FBI badass. I'd love to take the FBI jacket, but it's absolutely illegal to walk around wearing it.

Vangsness: I can tell you what I won't miss. Garcia's glasses—because I have them all already. I've bought every pair she's ever worn, so I have a collection of around 65 at home. They remind me to be confident like her, to see life through her eyes. Garcia is my Sasha Fierce.

Brewster: I will miss the hot tub wine machine.

Hot tub wine machine?

Vangsness: You heard that right, mister. It's an epic hot tub party at my house that the women on the show have turned into a standing gig—or more like a floating gig.

Brewster: It's basically a therapy and gossip and splashing-around session fueled by chardonnay and rosé.

Tyler: And it's ladies only because it gets kinda frisky.

Rodriguez: This is a sore subject for me even as a very securely and happily married man.

Mantegna: They do send us pictures on group text, which is thoughtful of them.

Vangsness: I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to tell you that this fine tradition makes it into our last episode. I co-wrote the finale, and we tried to cram in as many little Easter eggs and satisfying plot tie-ups as we could, both for fans and for each other. So within the episode, you'll see the BAU version of hot tub time machine. We worked really hard solving these super-intense crimes over what will be 325 episodes. After all these years, don't you think we deserve a little spa time?

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teaandgames · 4 years

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The Tea Times - May 2020

Normally, I’d use this little intro box to joke about the events in the news in a lighthearted we’re-all-gonna-die kind of a way, but that doesn’t really feel right at the moment. It’s been a very charged month, with the virus and injustice making the rounds. I hope everyone is keeping safe while they fight for what’s right.

On the games side of things, it's been a little threadbare on the news front, as tends to be the way as we move into summer. Things should hopefully pick up next month with things like the IGN Summer of Gaming kicking in. Oh and if you’re wondering what happened to April’s news, then I forgot. Simple as that. Whoops.

At a Glance

Mafia II and III: Definitive Editions, Maneater, Minecraft Dungeons and Shantae and the Seven Sirens released.

Paper Mario: The Origami King, Sherlock Holmes Chapter One, Blue Fire announced.

Yakuza: Like A Dragon is coming to PC!

Pyramid Head breaks his way into Dead by Daylight!

Rumour mill: The Simpsons: Hit and Run!

Blizzcon officially cancelled!

Ubisoft taking on Apple and Google!

The Releases

A big chunk of the releases in May were remasters or games that had otherwise been packaged together. I wouldn’t normally talk about them but there has been quite a lot of buzz about the definitive editions of Mafia II and Mafia III. I’ve played Mafia II and enjoyed my time with it but I wouldn’t say it was due a definitive edition ten years later but here we are. Unfortunately, the definitive editions have been plagued with performance issues. If you want to wade in yourself, then the Definitive Editions hit Windows, PlayStation 4 and Xbox on the 19th May.

From the mobsters of the real world to the mobsters (probably) of the sea: sharks. If you’ve ever felt you have too few teeth and wondered how human beings taste, then give Maneater a whirl and possibly seek therapy. Maneater pits you as a shark in a vicious battle of revenge against the hunter who killed your mother. A lot of innocent people will die in the process but that’s nature, baby. It was released on Windows, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One on the 22nd May and will release on the Switch later this year.

One of more highly anticipated releases this month was Minecraft Dungeons, the isometric hack’n’slash set in the Minecraft world. Honestly, I didn’t really believe it was an actual game up until release but it is. It seems to be as fun and chill as Minecraft is but with less crafting and more hitting things. One to break out with friends, methinks. If it’s your bag, it was released on PC, Switch, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One on May 26th.

I never had much to do with the Shantae series but it clearly struck a note with people because we’re now on to the fifth game in the series, Shantae and the Seven Sirens. Technically it’s been out since last year but on mobile devices and in parts by the look of it. Bit odd, but the whole package is now out if you fancy some more platforming, transforming and… dancing I guess. It came to PC, Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and the Switch on May 28th 2020.

The Announcements

In a fairly shocking turn of events, Nintendo announced Paper Mario: The Origami King, which was surprising enough but more than that, it’s coming as early as July 17th. Funnily enough, it features an origami twist as Mario characters are folded into new and interesting shapes. It’s not that unusual for Nintendo to pull this kind of move but I wouldn’t have thought that Paper Mario would have that kind of draw anymore. Still, my fingers are crossed that this is going to be a return to form following the failure lacklustre Sticker Star and (reportedly) Colour Splash. The trailer maybe hints at some turn based stuff! Here’s hoping!

For those that like a mystery, then you may like Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One. It seems that the biggest mystery of all, Sherlock himself, is about to be unravelled. Presumably anyway, I never really had much of a dalliance with the deerstalker detective. Still, the Sherlock Holmes series has gained a firm reputation over the years and Chapter One is still in the reliable hands of Frogware. It will be out in 2021.

On the prettier side of things, there’s Blue Fire. It’s a heavily Zelda inspired game about trekking across a desolated kingdom, poking your nose into all of its secrets. It has a nice clean artstyle, reminiscent of something like A Hat in Time, with some slashy combat on top. It looks pretty good, though I’m less keen on the shadow monster enemy design. It should be coming out this summer.

Dragon Itself To PC!

The Yakuza series has been unfortunately tied to the PlayStation for quite some time now. While the first few in the series have been remastered for PC, entries three to seven are still PlayStation exclusive. My ways of knocking people out with bowls of noodles are severely limited. Hopefully, however, there’s now a bit more light at the end of the tunnel.

The latest in the series, Yakuza: Like A Dragon, will now be coming to PC. It specified Windows 10 but it should hopefully be supported by all operating systems. Like A Dragon is peculiar in that it is turn based, unlike the action focus the rest of the series has, but seems to maintain the madcap vibe. I’m hoping it sells like hotcakes, so SEGA will have more incentive to release the rest of the Yakuza series on PC. It should be out later this year either way.

Unexpected Pyramid Head

If I made a news piece about everyone that got added to Dead by Daylight then you would get mighty sick of it. In this case though, someone notable has been added: Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill series. The physical representation of the protagonist from Silent Hill 2’s irrepressible sexual desires. He’s evolved beyond that nowadays though, arguably being the face (of sorts) of the survival horror genre. Maybe it was only a matter of time until he was absorbed into Dead by Daylight’s roster.

What is notable about this is that the Silent Hill series has been pretty firmly closed. After the much anticipated Silent Hills fell through, so Konami could focus on making pachinko machines and burning money, the series has been stagnant. Let's be honest, it was pretty rough times before that with games like Silent Hill: Homecoming but PT gave us all hope. Having Pyramid Head suddenly appear in the public eye is a bit odd.

He’ll be released next month. His skillset seems to be around map manipulation as he drags his big old sword along the ground. He can also put people in the Cage of Atonement, which is a special hook. Sounds nice.

Rumour Mill: Hitting and Running

Originally there were two rumours this month but then Like A Dragon got confirmed so that leaves us with just the one: The Simpsons: Hit and Run may be getting a remaster. It’s a much beloved game, for good reason as it allows people to Grand Theft Auto their way across The Simpsons world. A remaster for PC and modern day consoles would go down a treat, seeing as The Simpsons still seems to be going strong.

Of course, this should be taken with a grain of salt. Actually, seeing as the rumour came from just a reddit post you can take it with a giant truckload of salt. Still, it would be nice. The same post also comments on a new entry in the Sleeping Dogs series (which would be fantastic), the Far Cry series, Tomb Raider and, rather unfortunately, Just Cause 5. Hopefully they’ve learned a few things on that one.

Oh and Mad Max II, which would be pretty sweet given how the first one was kind of swept under the rug.

Blizzcon Is Blizz-gone

Blizzard’s big convention, Blizzcon, will not be happening this year. As news goes, it’s not particularly revolutionary but it is still sad to see. I know a lot of people would have been looking forward to getting together with likeminded people and playing some games together as well as seeing what’s going on inside the Blizzard skunkworks.

They’re looking into online ways of contacting people, so at least something of the convention can carry on but I’m afraid you’ll likely have to wait until next year if you were hoping to meet up with some friends.

A Legal Assissination

Here’s something that I wasn’t expecting. Ubisoft, purveyors of the finest assassinations and less than fine game clients, are taking on the twin giants of Apple and Google. Sounds like a bit of a self-assassination to me but you’ve got to protect your IP somehow I suppose. The issue surrounds Rainbow Six Siege, Ubisoft’s immensely popular online tactical shooter. A group called Alibaba created a game called “Area F2” which seems to be a straight rip-off of Rainbow Six Siege. Right down to the menu icons by the look of it.

Ubisoft’s lawsuit is therefore directed at Apple and Google for allowing Area F2 to be sold in their stores. It looks like a pretty legitimate claim to be honest, as that’s plagiarism to a laughable degree. Ubisoft did notify them by the sounds of it but they haven’t done anything about it. Best keep an eye on this storm as it develops.

That’s all for May, see you in June!

#Paper Mario #The Origami King #Simpsons Hit And Run #far Cry #Tomb Raider #Mad Max II #Minecraft Dungeons #Mafia II #Mafia III #Just Cause 5 #Sherlock Holmes #Shantae #Maneater #Yakuza Like A Dragon #Gaming #The Tea Times #Tea And Video Games

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Psych 2: Lassie Come Home Easter Egg and Reference Guide

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The following contains spoilers for Psych 2: Lassie Come Home.

As fun as 2017’s Psych: The Movie was, its 2020 sequel Psych 2: Lassie Come Home will likely supplant it in Psych-Os’ hearts, because it’s got 500% more Carlton Lassiter (Timothy Omundson). But how does it stack up to its predecessor in terms of Psych callbacks and pop culture homages? Using our Spencer powers of observation, we’ve tried to catch every recurring inside joke between Shawn (James Roday Rodriguez) and Gus (Dulé Hill), plus all the episodic-specific bits. It’s a feature-length Hitchcock homage, but it’s also the toughest Easter egg hunt of your life. C’mon, son!

Psych 2: Lassie Come Home Easter Eggs and References

The title is a reference to Lassie Come Home, the 1943 Lassie movie about the beloved dog making her way home from Scotland. A German-language remake came out early in 2020.

It’s always a treat to hear the Psych theme song “I Know, You Know,” performed by creator Steve Franks and his band The Friendly Indians.

Lassiter wakes up to Shawn and Gus hovering above him at the recovery clinic is a throwback to when they kidnapped him for his bachelor party in “Deez Nups” and he came to with them screaming “Surpriiise!”

Morrissey the rescue dog reprises his role from Psych: The Movie in being adorable, incredibly nosy, and oblivious to Shawn’s hissing commands.

Sarah Chalke’s nurse character Dolores is most likely a nod to San Francisco’s Mission Dolores church and cemetery, the location for Carlotta Valdes’ grave in Vertigo.

Right out the gate, Dolores is treated to the requisite Gus nickname: “My name is Shawn Spencer, and this is my partner Bill Poopingtons.” However, Shawn and Gus take a sidebar for a very meta argument about their ongoing bit (while fitting in another bit):

“Gus, don’t be the night your dad fell asleep inside your mom. We can’t just stop doing bits we’ve been doing for ten years. We have fans, they have expectations, there’ll be a huge backlash.”

“Shawn, we are two dumbasses, we do not have fans.”

Compromise: Gus gets right of refusal until they land on a nickname he prefers. And so:

Bill Poopingtons > All the Pips in One

Ding-Dong Ditch > Claude O’Dern > Big Poppa Pump > Lemon-a Lemon-a Lemon-a Liiime

Leggo My Eggo > Norman Brown Butter > Dijon Hounsou

Gus also calls himself Jermajesty, channeling some Jackson Five energy.

“Black Jello” was Gus’ nickname in their adult dodgeball league.

The Herschel House is likely a nod to Herschel Daugherty, who directed over two dozen episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents…

Gus and Shawn are still bickering over driving the drivers ed car, even if we don’t see it in the movie. They do manage to be just as bad at turning the right direction when riding a motorcycle together.

“Now I know this ‘goofy little white guy/sexy black dude’ routine the two of you have going like the back of my scrubs.” Sarah Chalke played Elliot on Scrubs, whose JD/Turk bromance walked so that Shawn/Gus could run.

Shawn calls Dolores “the nurse from Color of Night,” the 1994 Bruce Willis erotic mystery thriller that won a Golden Raspberry for Worst Picture.

The boys get Jamba Juice because you never turn down an opportunity for a Jamba.

Shawn likens Gus’ pubic hair to Eddie Murphy’s mustache in his 1987 stand-up film Raw.

Shawn offers the dismembered hand to Gus to “knuck it up softly,” per their penchant for fist-bumping.

They later do fist-bump outside the old Psych offices, but not before channeling Han Solo and Chewbacca in Star Wars: The Force Awakens: “Gus, we’re home.” “[Wookiee sound]”

Psych has become a French-themed cat café… for now, at least. It’s not an alternative universe from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, but the current subletter’s pop-up business. The proprietor (not the girl from Orphan) is played by Allison Miller, James Roday Rodriguez’s co-star in A Million Little Things.

“I am a psychic. He is a sympathetic pooper.” Poor Gus’ intestinal system gets called out again.

Henry’s (Corbin Bernsen) put-on voice gets compared to Tom Waits, Kathleen Turner, Harvey Fierstein, and Diedrich Bader.

Shawn neglected to tell his landlord that he’d moved, which tracks with his behavior in the series finale “The Break-Up.”

Henry reveals that in addition to telenovelas, he enjoys zeitgeist-y sobfests: “You left behind a slow cooker with a three-pound roast in it. You nearly This Is Us-ed the entire block.”

“This Is Us—Dad, why are you watching that show? They have the same show on ABC but newer”: Shawn’s shoutout to A Million Little Things.

Lassiter mistakes Reese Kessler, his supposed shooter, for country music singer Conway Twitty.

Lassiter’s to-do list includes “tape Galavant,” the short-lived musical comedy fantasy series created by Dan Fogelman (This Is Us), in which Timothy Omundson played King Richard. It also includes items poking fun at Lassiter’s crankiness (“yell at nature,” “chirping bird d-day plan”) and tenacity (“solve black dahlia”), and heartstring-tugging items (“pre-register for ironman” as in the triathlon). He also has written down Shawn’s S.E.I.Z.E. mantra from his short-lived career as Lassiter’s life coach in “S.E.I.Z.E. the Day”: Seize Eggs I don’t know Zebra Eighties.

Juliet (Maggie Lawson) lying to Shawn sounds strange, though not as strange as Lupita Nyong’o—the Tethered Lupita—in Jordan Peele’s Us.

Shawn’s “romantic dinner” for Jules is the menu from A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (jelly beans, pretzels, buttered toast, popcorn, and ice cream sundaes) because it’s all they had at the gas station on the way home.

That prompts an iconic “C’mon, son!” from Gus.

Gus’ ringtone is “I’m Mr. Bootyman,” which is both Henry’s ringtone and the song featured in Buzz McNab’s bachelorette party stripper routine in “Deez Nups.”

Gus’ (technically Jules’) green snuggie bears a striking resemblance to official Psych contest merch.

Lassiter spotting mysterious bleeding figures out his window is an homage to Rear Window.

Richard Schiff (as Dr. Herschel) was Dulé Hill’s co-star in The West Wing.

Potterhead Gus wants to know if there are any people hiding in the pipes of the Herschel House, “speaking in their own tongue, perhaps Parsel.”

The Psych boys’ map of suspects briefly includes the Hell Hag from Gus’ dreams in “A Nightmare on State Street.”

Shawn has only been to Norway once with his brother-in-law Ewan O’Hara (John Cena), but they don’t talk about that… Maybe that’s where Psych: The Movie went after its cliffhanger ending?

Ova’s Norwegian song/chant toast at the Viking’s Ice Den is very similar to the Swedish toast in “Right Turn or Left for Dead.”

Ova’s violent son Per is first described as “the bearded Daryl Hannah.”

Shawn’s excuse to Detective Buzz McNab (Sage Brocklebank) for being in Santa Barbara is that he forgot a frisbee signed by German writer/director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck.

Shawn’s first reaction to Jules potentially being pregnant: “You know the windows in the loft don’t even fully close, right? I’m gonna have to replace them, otherwise this is Baby’s Day Out all over again.” As Gus reassures him, he always did get worked up over John Hughes’ worst idea.

At the old Psych offices, Shawn pulls out the jousting lance from “100 Clues”—as well as a pineapple! He looks about to ask, “Should we cut this up for the road?” (his question during the pineapple’s first appearance in the pilot, plus at the end of Psych: The Movie) but stops himself.

When Lassie believes that fellow patient Mr. Wilkerson (Kadeem Hardison) has been walking around, Shawn and Gus have to go “full Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” to interrogate the supposedly catatonic patient.

Shoutout to Jessie Spano’s infamous “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so scared!” speed speech from Saved by the Bell.

If it’s not Scrubs, the boys are getting compared to Ren and Stimpy.

Mary Lightly (Jimmi Simpson) returns in another incredible, extra-hallucinatory look into Shawn’s brain… this time as a baby, since Shawn’s got fatherhood on the brain.

“We got jackaled!” Gus shouts upon learning that Wilkerson can walk—a reference to “hitting the jackal switch,” or going into stealth mode.

Shawn has always had a thing for singer Jewel, even after the Civil War movie (1999’s Ride with the Devil) and the Bollywood song.

Of course there’s a nasty dance when Shawn and Gus figure out who they think is behind everything.

Gus declares that “I am not going to let you shoot Shules’ baby!” only for the Chief (Kirsten Nelson) to ask, “What’s a Shules?” That’s the fans’ name for Shawn/Jules, a cute nod to a series OTP.

And of course, we can’t forget the fact that Jazmyn Simon, who plays Selene, is Dulé Hill’s real-life wife.

More than once, Shawn quotes The Handmaid’s Tale in reference to Gus and Selene’s baby: “Praise be” and “Blessed is the fruit.”

Dolores compliments Lassiter’s “chest of hair plentiful enough to wake all of Destiny’s Child.”

Shawn comes up with possible names for Gus’ child: Shaft, Shaftie, or D’Shaft—just like Gus’ nickname Sh’Dynasty (with a “God’s comma,” or apostrophe) from “Santabarbaratown.”

They also both coo “c’mon son” to Selene’s womb.

Selene’s proposal to Gus includes his negotiation that he and Shawn have adjacent homes with connecting pools, a callback to Shawn and Gus talking about their dream setup in “The Break-Up”; as well as Pluto! She asks, “Will you make me the happiest woman on this planet, on Eres, and Pluto?”

Shawn tells Juliet that “you’re my person,” the iconic Grey’s Anatomy line (though one would argue that Gus more accurately is his person).

When Lassiter stands (shut up, you’re crying) to meet Marlowe (Kristy Swanson), they place their palms together—like they did when he would visit her in jail, like they did at their wedding. My heart.

Join us on the Easter egg hunt—let us know what references we missed!

The post Psych 2: Lassie Come Home Easter Egg and Reference Guide appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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alexanicholsauthor · 5 years

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The world according to Anne, my writing playlists, and calling James Patterson out for a fight

Back when I was doing daily Diary entries (I still don’t see how I pulled that off considering everything else I was juggling), I used to let Anne occasionally slip in and write an entry for me. I would label these little creative outbursts of hers as “Anne’s entry” and just let her go to town – no grammar checking, no filtering, and no direction as to what she should write about. She loved it.

So, I figured it was time to give her another stab at it. What’s the worst that could happen, right? 😳

I got new video games and been watching Jersey shore I really like it. Alexa girl be you was right about the show. Do you want to hang out this weekend? How is your writing going I want to tell you about this new movie Call Deep sleep you should watch trailer for it. We been having fun Mario kart 8 I am all most done with one of Batman telltale game. The game are awesome. I like watching lore it’s very different.

So, there you are. The world, according to Anne. 🥰

My life has been a combination of three things lately: Jersey Shore binge-watching with Anne, overdosing on wax cubes (I love those damn things!), and writing like a fevered madwoman to get Erotic Urban Legends: Pulse finished for my Patreon peeps. As I write this, a dear friend of mine is beta reading it for me, so as soon as I get it back and throw it at the rest of my Beta Reader Hit Squad, it will be shelved! I really wanted to make a short horror story, but this motherfucker ended up 22,844 words – far from what I intended.

Initially, I gave myself a cap of 2,500 words, and the first version was somewhat close to that. After three different revisions and some severe brainstorming… things got a little out of hand. 😅 While my stories always inflate during the revision process, this was a bit ridiculous. I swear I spoil the shit out of my Patreons…

Because of my release schedule, I won’t be able to release it to the general public until April 2022, but I’ll give you a sneak peek of the cover now:

Because I was writing this, I had to temporarily pause the last book in my Exitium Mundi series, which is in the rough draft stage itself. Which means I’m also paused in the middle of Voyeur’s Season 2 (no, I swear it isn’t abandoned) and the next book in the Killer Lolis series: Hunt for the Lolistone. The cover for that book (which is also in the rough draft stage!) is below:

So many things I want to write, so little time! 😭 And then there are other stories that are almost finished that I really need to polish up like Mya, Lilith, Invictus, Balls Deep – A Love Story, and others. I need more hands. Or maybe I can pull a James Patterson and hire other motherfuckers to write my books for me and just sit back and rake in the money. I will never do this, of course, because, you know, I’m actually a writer…

#Shade #ShotsFired #ComeAtMeBro

Maybe I just need to double down my writing efforts. I dunno.

Which reminds me. I decided to add yet another feature to my paperbacks: playlists! See, before I write a book, I compile a 100-song playlist, and I listen to nothing but that playlist while I write. It was an idea sparked by a request from a reader (thank you, John!), and I decided to run with it. I’ve already started including short stories, previews of upcoming books, and interviews in the paperback editions of my books, so this will fit in nicely I think. Just for kicks, here’s the playlist I wrote to for Erotic Urban Legends: Pulse.

Ängie: Spun + Smoke Weed Eat Pussy + Housewife Spliffin Avicii: Wake Me Up Awolnation: Sail AZ Yet: Last Night Backstreet Boys: Inconsolable Bebe Rexha: I’m Gonna Show You Crazy + No Broken Hearts ft. Nicki Minaj Bhad Bhabie: Bestie (Feat. Kodak Black) Billie Eilish: Bad Guy + You Should See Me in a Crown Boyz II Men: Oh Well Brad Paisley: Whiskey Lullaby (feat. Allison Krauss) Britney Spears: Criminal Ed Sheeran: Shape of You Fall Out Boy: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) (Part 1) Fat Joe: Make It Rain Finger Eleven: Paralyzer + One Thing Frankie J: Daddy’s Little Girl Full Exposure (feat. Mario & Serayah) Geto Boys: Mind Playing Tricks On Me (Uncut) Ginuwine: When Doves Cry Go West: King Of Wishful Thinking Hailee Steinfeld: Most Girls Halsey: Nightmare Hayley Kiyoko: Girls Like Girls Insane Clown Posse: In My Room Jessica Simpson: I Belong To Me Justin Timberlake: Cry Me A River Ke$ha: TiK ToK Keri Hilson: Pretty Girl Rock kirstin: Break A Little + Naked + Bad Weather Linkin Park: The Hybrid Theory + Living Things + and Recharged albums. Mario Winans: I Don’t Wanna Know Maroon 5: Girls Like You ft. Cardi B MAX: Lights Down Low Offset: Clout ft. Cardi B Phil Collins: In The Air Tonight Porcelain Black: Naughty Naughty + I’m Your Favorite Drug Post Malone: Rockstar + Goodbyes ft. Young Thug R. Kelly featuring Keri Hilson: Number One Rita-Ora: Girls Santana: Maria + Maria Seckond Chaynce: Undeniable Silk: Freak Me Baby Somo: Ride Star Cast: I Bring Me + There For You Tamar Braxton: All the Way Home + Love and War + Let Me Know ft. Future + Prettiest Girl + The One Taylor Swift: Gorgeous The Fugees: Killing Me Softly The Weeknd: Often + Party Monster Tinashe: No Drama Young Jeezy: Tear It Up

Thanks for reading my latest rant, beloveds. I really appreciate it. 🥰

#amwriting #amediting #writer #writerslife #Writerscommunity #indieauthor #author

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 5 years

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The Greatest Showmen: An exclusive look inside the world of BTS

Maybe you saw them piled on the klieg-lit couches of Ellen DeGeneres and Jimmy Fallon, trading light bilingual banter with their starstruck hosts. Maybe it was when they spoke solemnly on mental health and self-love at the United Nations General Assembly last September, or when a wall of dolphin-like screams greeted them as they rolled into February’s Grammy Awards in trim matching tuxedos, their hair tinted various shades of pastel macaron.

Or maybe the cover of this magazine is the first time you’ve truly noticed BTS. (Stranger things have happened in 2019.) But it seems indisputable to say that sometime over the past two years, the septet have taken over the world: two No. 1 albums on the Billboard chart in the span of three months; more than 5 billion streams combined on Apple Music and Spotify; a string of sold-out concert dates from the Staples Center in Los Angeles to London’s famed Wembley Stadium.

That hardly makes them the first boy band to dominate a cultural moment, but the fact that they are all Korean-born and -raised, singing Korean-language songs only occasionally sprinkled with English, feels like something brand-new. And it speaks to an unprecedented kind of global currency — one where pop music moves without barriers or borders, even as geopolitics seem to retreat further behind hard lines and high walls.

On a blindingly bright March day in Seoul five weeks before the release of their upcoming sixth EP, Map of the Soul: Persona, the band is holed up at their record label Big Hit Entertainment, preparing. Buildings like this are where much of the magic of the phenomenon known as K-pop happens, though Big Hit’s headquarters on a quiet side street in the city’s Gangnam district (yes, the same one Psy sang about in his 2012 smash “Gangnam Style”) look a lot like any other tech office: sleek poured-cement corridors and glass-box conference rooms scattered with well-stocked mini-fridges, plush toys, and the occasional beanbag chair. Only a display case stacked with a truly staggering number of sales plaques and statuettes, and a glossy large-scale photo print of BTS at their sold-out concert at New York’s Citi Field last October, give away the business they do here.

Down a long hallway, all seven members lounge in various states of readiness as they gear up to pretape a thank-you video for an iHeartRadio award they won’t be able to accept in person. Jimin, bleached blond and pillow-lipped, is having his hair carefully flat-ironed in a wardrobe room filled with racks of coordinated denim and neon streetwear. Dozens of pairs of pristine Nikes and Converse are piled in a corner; a lone fun-fur jacket the color of strawberry ice cream slumps on a hanger behind him, like a neglected Fraggle.

Jung Kook, the baby of the band at 21, sits obediently in a folding chair in the dance studio, also having his hair tended to; J-Hope strides by in a white dress shirt emblazoned with an over-size silk-screen of Bart Simpson, then grins and disappears. Suga, V, and Jin huddle together on low sofas next door, scrolling through their phones and occasionally singing fragments of American R&B star Khalid’s “My Bad.” Twenty-four-year-old RM, the group’s de facto leader and lone fluent English speaker, is the last to arrive.

They run through their speech for a camera crew and do maybe four or five takes until the director is satisfied. Then they settle in for a conversation in an airy break room upstairs, accompanied by their longtime translator, a large, amiable bald man in a business suit named John. (Unless noted, the answers of all members other than RM come through him.) Several weeks after returning from their first Grammys, they’re still riding high off the experience: presenting the award to H.E.R. for Best R&B Album; chatting with Shawn Mendes in the men’s room — “I was like, ‘Do I need to tell him who I am?’ ” Jimin remembers, “but then he said hello first, which was really nice” — and being seated only a sequin’s throw from Dolly Parton. (“She was right there in front of us!” marvels Jung Kook. “Amazing.”)

As happily dazzled as they still seem to be by other celebrities, seeing BTS in the flesh triggers the same disorienting but not unpleasant sense of unreality. On screen, the band can look disconcertingly pretty; avatars of a sort of poreless, almost postgender beauty who seem to exist inside their own real-life Snapchat filters. In person they’re still ridiculously good-looking, but in a much more relatable, boyish way: bangs mussed, even the occasional chapped lip or small (okay, minuscule) blemish. Take away their Balenciaga high-tops and the discreet double Cs of Chanel jewelry, and they could almost be the cute college guy next to you at the coffee shop or on the train.

Except riding public transportation or casually dropping into a Starbucks stopped being an option for BTS a long time ago. In Seoul, their faces are plastered across makeup kiosks and street signs and the sides of buses — even on massive digital billboards that are bought and paid for by private citizens to acknowledge a beloved member’s birthday, or just because. In cities like São Paulo and Tokyo and Paris, fans camp out days in advance for concerts and public appearances, obsessively trading trivia and rumored sightings. When the band posted their takethis link opens in a new tab on Drake’s #InMyFeelingsChallenge, it became the most liked tweet of 2018; this summer, Mattel will release an official line of BTS dolls.

In the still center of this bizarre fame hurricane, the boys have managed to find a few pockets of normalcy. Jimin wistfully recalls a time in Chicago when they were able to slip out of their hotel rooms undetected “late at night, just to get some fresh air.” But most places, he admits, “that’s really out of the question” unless they split into smaller groups. “I mean, look at us,” RM adds with a laugh, running a hand through his own silver-nickel bangs. “Seven boys with dyed hair! It’s really too much.”

Instead, they focus on the things they can do, like sneaking out to the movies (“Always the latest or earliest show,” says RM, if they want to stay unseen), shopping online (V loves eBay, especially for clothes), going fishing, playing StarCraft at home. Group housing is actually common for K-pop stars, and BTS seem to appreciate the shared stability: “We’ve been living together for a while now, almost eight, nine years,” says Jimin. “So in the beginning we had a lot of arguments and conflicts. But we’ve reached the point where we can communicate wordlessly, basically just by watching each other and reading the expressions.”

Though they’re unfailingly polite and attentive in interviews, there’s a certain amount of contained chaos when they’re all together — a sort of tumbling-puppy cyclone of playful shoves, back slaps, and complicated handshakes — but also a surprising, endearing sweetness to the way they treat one another in quieter moments. When a question is posed to the group, they work hard to make sure each one of them is heard, and if someone is struggling to find a word, they’ll quickly reach out for a reassuring knee pat or side hug.

Even with the language barrier of speaking to an American reporter, though, their individual personalities quickly start to emerge: Asked to name their earliest pop memories, the answers land all over the map. “I loved Pussycat Dolls’ ‘Stickwitu,’ ’’ says J-Hope, the group’s most accomplished dancer, snapping his fingers and cooing the chorus. For RM, who started out in Seoul’s underground rap scene, it’s Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” (“I think that’s, like, a life pick for so many people around the world,” he admits, “but I can’t forget when I first watched 8 Mile and heard the guitars. That was my turning point.”) For Jung Kook, who has released covers of Justin Bieber and Troye Sivan songs, it was Richard Marx’s deathless lite-FM ballad “Now and Forever.”

The soft-spoken Suga cites John Lennon’s “Imagine” as “the first song I fell in love with,” which feels like a fitting gateway to ask where BTS see themselves in the pantheon of musical heartthrobs that the Fab Four essentially invented. “Sometimes it feels really embarrassing when someone calls us a 21st-century Beatles or something like that,” RM concedes. “But if they want to call us a boy band, then we’re a boy band. If they want to call us a boy group, we’re a boy group. If they want to call us K-pop, then we’re cool with K-pop.”

Ah, K-pop. In South Korea, where the genre has become not just a prime cultural commodity but a multibillion-dollar export, the players, known as “idols,” go through rigorous Fame-style schooling in song and dance and media training that often goes on for years before they’re considered ready for the spotlight. And it’s paid off: Business has been booming since the early ’90s, with stars from Girls’ Generation to G-Dragoncrossing over to various markets across Asia, Europe, and the Americas. But while the sound has remained fairly consistent — a canny mix of club-ready beats, hyper-sweetened choruses, and the more urban inflections of Western hip-hop and R&B — it’s never before landed with the lightning-bolt impact of BTS.

Bang Si-Hyuk, the CEO and founder of Big Hit, began putting the band together in 2010, when all the members were in their tweens or teens: RM and Suga were coming up on the local rap scene; Jimin and J-Hope studied dance at performing-arts schools; V, who focused on singing early on, joined officially in 2013. Jin was an aspiring actor recruited off the street for his striking looks; Jung Kook, now the group’s main vocalist, joined while he was still in junior high.

Though fansites tend to lean on their extracurricular differences (Jung Kook is a Virgo who loves pizza! V collects ties and clenches his teeth in his sleep!), each member genuinely does hold a unique space in the group’s process, whether it’s leaning more toward production, lyrics, or the supersize hooks the songs rest on. “With seven members we have seven different tastes, of course,” says RM. “So when it comes to songwriting, it’s like a big competition.” Occasionally, adds J-Hope, “we’ll write a lyric and decide, ‘This sort of reflects me [more], who I am and my own color,’ so we’ll want to keep that for a solo song.”

Because Big Hit doesn’t restrict their right to funnel some ideas into side projects — and because the appetite for more BTS-sourced material online is seemingly unquenchable — members regularly release solo work through EPs, SoundCloud, and mixtapes. But the primary impact still comes through the official album releases, and the particularly weighty subjects those songs take on — a notable departure from the narrow, often strenuously upbeat topics other K-pop artists typically cover.

“I promised the members from the very beginning that BTS’ music must come from their own stories,” says Bang; their subsequent openness about their own struggles with depression, self-doubt, and the pressure to conform took them all the way to the U.N. last fall, where RM addressed the band’s Love Myself campaign and #ENDviolence youth partnership with UNICEF.

“They stand out,” says Japanese-American DJ and producer Steve Aoki, a top-selling global dance artist who has also collaborated with the band on several tracks. “And I’m not just talking about K-pop. They add so much of their personality to the music and into their stories and how they present themselves. And the world has fallen in love with them because they are showing that vulnerable side that everyone wants to see.”

It helps, too, that the group’s more pointed messages are often slipped into the sticky aural peanut butter of anthems like “No More Dream,” “Dope,” and “Am I Wrong.” But they always appreciate the chance, Suga says, to get “a little more raw, a little more open.” RM elaborates: “I think it’s an endless dilemma for every artist, how much we should be frank and honest. But we try to reveal ourselves as much as we can.”

Honesty has its limits, of course, when you’re the biggest band in the world. Asked to describe the new album, due April 12 (at press time, it had already hit over 2.5 million in preorders), members offer up cryptic but enthusiastic koans like “therapeutic” and “refreshing crispness.” To be fair, they can’t say much in part because the new album’s track list isn’t actually finalized yet — late decisions being a luxury of in-house production — though they do agree to play one song, a propulsive rap-heavy banger called “Intro: Persona.” (It was released as a teaser March 27; you can watch the video herethis link opens in a new tab.)

When it comes to more personal questions about the challenges of dating or the goals they might want to pursue post-BTS, they pivot so gracefully to evasive, nonspecific answers, you almost can’t help but be impressed; it’s like watching a diplomat ice-dance. They want you to know that they are incredibly grateful for the devotion of their fans, and so blessed to be exactly where they are; that they really don’t think in terms of five- or 10-year plans. But they turn reflective when the subject of American pop’s holy grail, the Hot 100 singles chart, is raised. They cracked the top 10 last year with “Fake Love” but have yet to reach a higher spot, largely because mainstream radio airplay—a huge component of Hot 100 domination—still eludes them Stateside.

“It will have to be a great song,” Suga acknowledges, “but also there’s a whole strategy that’s associated with getting all the way up. And then there has to be a measure of luck, obviously. So what’s important for us is just to make good music and good performances and have those elements come together.” Does a Spanish-language smash like 2017’s “Despacito” — which spent a record 16 weeks at No. 1 — make them more optimistic about their own odds? “You know, Latin pop has its own Grammys in America, and it’s quite different,” RM says thoughtfully. “I don’t want to compare, but I think it’s even harder as an Asian group. A Hot 100 and a Grammy nomination, these are our goals. But they’re just goals — we don’t want to change our identity or our genuineness to get the number one. Like if we sing suddenly in full English, and change all these other things, then that’s not BTS. We’ll do everything, we’ll try. But if we couldn’t get number one or number five, that’s okay.”

Aoki, for one, has faith they’ll get there. “I think it’s 100 percent possible that a song sung entirely in Korean could crack the top of the Hot 100. I firmly believe that, and I really firmly believe that BTS can be the group that can do that. It’s going to pave the way for a lot of other groups, which they’ve already been doing—and when that happens, we’re all gonna celebrate.”

Back at Big Hit, though, the band has more immediate work to do. RM offers a quick tour of his production room (each member has his own dedicated space on site). The door outside is guarded by a quirky assemblage of figurines by the renowned street artist Kaws, but inside feels, incongruously, like stepping into a tiny, luxurious Sundance lodge that also just happens to have a soundboard: There’s a beautiful coffee table made from a single piece of black walnut; Navajo-style rugs; tasteful art on the walls. RM talks easily about his admiration for producers like Zedd and the Neptunes (“Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo were my true idols in 2006, 2007. Pharrell’s voice! It’s so sexy, how he sings”), and plays down his own skills (“As a beatmaker, Suga is way better than me. I don’t even know how to play the piano — I just do the chords like this,” he insists, miming keyboard Muppet hands).

Then it’s back to the dance studio, where they’ve changed into track pants and T-shirts to run through new steps with a choreographer. It starts with a rough triangle formation, and an elaborate hip-swivel-into-pelvic-thrust/crotch-grab combo that actually plays much more innocently than it sounds, mostly because they keep stopping to crack each other up. Soon, though, they drill down — repeating the moves until they seem crisp but easy, almost an afterthought. It feels like time to leave them; the boys wave happily, shouting out a rowdy chorus of goodbyes. Then they turn back to the mirror, and keep dancing.

#bangtan #jimin #jungkook #v #suga #jhope #jin #rm #o:interview #190328

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stockfox742 · 3 years

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Simpsons Road Rage Steam

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Eggs for Bart is a Simpsons Parody horror game where you play as Homer and you need to get eggs for Bart. Microsoft word image placeholder option. You must get 2 dozens of eggs and leave the house to give to Bart, but you can only carry a half dozen at a time so you'll have to make 4 trips inside the house and out, also the night will get progressively harder as the night goes on, with cutscenes after each level that connect into a. Simpsons road rage vehicle. Moto g4 plus battery. If you are wondering how I did this rating played the Sunday drive mode and the road rage mode. But It Does on Steam.

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The Simpsons: Road Rage lists. Game Collection 0 created by kraznor. A list of all the games I own. For some reason the Collection tab was not working so I made this a custom list. 100.0% 1/1 Votes. Wii/Gamecube Collection 0 created by willzorzzz. My Wii/Gamecube Collection. 100.0% 1/1 Votes. Road Rage is an over-the-top, knock-down-drag-out motorcycle combat game that tests your skill on a range of badass bikes. Race, fight, and hustle your way through the ranks of an insane outlaw motorcycle gang. All Reviews: Mixed (31) - 41% of the 31 user reviews for this game are positive. (41% of 31) All Time. Simpsons: Hit & Run Mod Turns All 3 Levels Into One Massive Springfield. The Simpsons: Hit & Run just got a mod that combined all its locations into one seamless open world thanks to the talented folks at Donut Team. (Update 13/01/21: This article has been modified to more clearly express this Hit & Run mod was made by a single person, not a team.).

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I slagged the Xbox version of Road Rage a couple issues ago, not for its blatant plagiarism of Crazy Taxi, but rather for its many gameplay issues. I kept my expectations low going into the GameCube version this month and saved myself the disappointment. This is the exact same game as its Xbox and PS2 counterparts, which means you'll still have to deal with irritating load times and janky collision detection problems (it's easy to get your car stuck on objects and buildings). What's worse is that RR still has very little in the way of depth. Like CT, the object is to make some dough by driving the denizens of Springfield around town. The faster you truck, the bigger the buck. But man, did these cats miss the point of CT or what? RR doesn't reward you for weaving through traffic, pulling off jumps or causing near-misses. In fact, there isn't much technique here at all. Leave out these moments of skill and all you've got is a very bland rip-off starring the cast of our most beloved animated series. Sorry Simpsons fans, this is not the game it could have been.

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curriebelle · 7 years

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Critical Role and Queer Perspective

There’s a little Critical Role analysis I’ve been thinking about that probably won’t fit in my thesis, mostly because it’s too narrow in scope. I wanted to talk about it, though, because it’s been one of the most interesting transitions to watch in terms of how the show thinks about its queer characters.

I have no idea where I read the comment, because it was a very long time ago, but I also remember it vividly. A Critter explained that Gilmore’s scenes made them uncomfortable, because Gilmore fell into the trope that “Queer People Are Funny”. That’s the very 90s-sitcom-esque tradition of writing jokes where the punchline is that the character is A Gay. It’s a problem because it makes people not take queerness seriously - being gay is literally a joke. The first time I saw this comment was when the Whitestone Arc was first airing, but I’ve seen it repeated here and there throughout the run.

I don’t think that argument holds true anymore. Critical Role might not be perfect, but its attitude toward queer representation is not only above average, but also constantly improving. The show started with its singular gay character, Gilmore, who first showed up in Episode 14, and by the end of the series we have a non-binary emperor, two queer happily-ever-afters (Larry and Tary, and Kima and Allura), and multiple characters confirming queer sexualities. More importantly, these characters aren’t just token sexual minorities - they’re quite varied and interesting, and have stories that don’t revolve around their queerness, but don’t ignore their queerness either. The cast does make mistakes with these characters sometimes, but they are very eager to correct them when they do.

I think a really good point of contrast is when Scanlan drinks the love potion and falls briefly in love with Percy near the end of the campaign. That entire scene is utterly hilarious, but it’s no longer made hilarious by relying on the Queer People are Funny trope. It’s hilarious because Scanlan is over the top in his declarations (”your eyebrows...I want to lick them”), because Percy is constantly miffed that Vox Machina is shocked that someone finds him attractive, and because Vex is trying to manage the whole thing and failing not to threaten Scanlan’s life.

This is obviously a matter of opinion, but while the argument that Critical Role uses the Queer People Are Funny trope doesn’t hold true now, back when Episode 14 first aired it sort of was true. For future context, if you didn’t know, I’m queer myself and this episode didn’t bother me at all at the time. Still, I could certainly see how it would put other people off, and it does make me a little uncomfortable in hindsight.

In Episode 14 there are two big moments where the show wrings a joke out of people being queer. The first one is Gilmore’s introduction. The party prepares Vax to flirt with Gilmore for discounts, and they erupt into giggles when Gilmore comes swishing in, and any time Vax initiates flirtation or contact there’s more laughter. I think it’s important to compare this scenes with Vax’s first love scenes with Keyleth in Whitestone - which were notoriously awkward - because it becomes pretty clear after doing that that Vax flirting with Gilmore was A Joke. I don’t think it was meant to be mean-spirited - the players loved Gilmore and the fans did too, pretty much instantly - but there was something giggle-inducing about Matt and Liam trying to out-flirt each other.

The far more uncomfortable moment in Episode 14 is when Kima and Allura reunite. Matt describes them hugging and talking, and Orion - whose character Tiberius has a crush on Allura - starts grumbling that it’s “the story of his life”, implying that Kima and Allura are either together or interested in each other. This one is less “queer people are funny” and more “Orion gets weirdly pissed at his dungeon master for implying a women is attracted to another woman instead of him.” Matt’s initial reaction was to claim the two were ‘just good friends’. Orion’s reaction felt bizarrely possessive and objectifying - like he was upset that the character he’d ‘called dibs’ on, Allura, had the gall to flirt with someone else in front of him. Matt’s denial doesn’t strike me as a bad thing - he was more defending himself from Orion saying “Seriously, Matthew?” - but regardless, he eventually changed his mind on what kind of ‘good friends’ they were.

So we’ve got two early scenes that fall loosely into poor representations of queer characters - one turning gay men into jokes, and one objectifying queer women. In my mind these are more bruises than deep cuts, mistakes that make some people uncomfortable and that are worth pointing out, but that don’t condemn the creators or the show as hateful. It’s worth pointing out that the show does have queer players on it (at least one, possibly more), who didn’t find the scenes disturbing either. The most interesting thing about these moments, though, is how they triggered plotlines that continued throughout Critical Role - plotlines that actually transformed the show’s representation in a really neat way.

Let’s back up a moment. CritRoleStats has previously pointed out that Critical Role now comprises more content than The Simpsons. We’ve spent a lot of time with Vox Machina and their allies; as much time as The Simpsons has spent as an icon of popular culture. In fact, it’s pretty much only sitcoms that can rival Critical Role in terms of sheer runtime and content, but their formulas for churning out this content are very different. Sitcoms are purposefully written so that each episode starts with the status quo being disrupted and ends with the status quo being somewhat restored by the end, with a few lessons learned along the way. Think about i:; nearly forty years later, none of the Simpsons have aged a day. Other long-running shows (like Law and Order or Star Trek) can wring years and years of programming out of single-episode stories, each one forming their own unique adventure. Sometimes the characters grow between seasons a little, and some are killed off or leave the show, but the characters largely remain consistent so their adventures can continue in perpetuity.

Dungeons and Dragons campaigns, by their very design, have to progress. Characters gain experience, learn more about the world, explore it, make new friends, and develop relationships. Change is anathema to sitcoms, but integral to tabletop gameplay.

And alongside the players’ concerted efforts to get better at queer representation, I think this sense of progression was what changed how Critical Role thought about queer characters. The other key factor was that the players are both the writers and actors for their PCs. They know their motivations intimately, and they write their lines on the spot from what they feel like their character would do. And there is only so long that you can inhabit a character before you have to stop taking them as a joke.

I think the moment that drives this home hardest for me is still Vax ‘breaking up’ with Gilmore in Episode 38. He takes Gilmore aside in a tavern, says he’s enjoyed the flirting and that he’s ‘been curious’, but he can’t take it further because he’s in love with someone else. Gilmore is hurt, but gracious, and leaves the tavern. A brief pall hangs over the group after that, until the game moves on and the pain fades a little. Gilmore remained funny, and charming, and bombastic, and flashy, and lovable, but that was a moment he utterly stopped being a joke. His infatuation with Vax, or his love, or whatever you want to call it, was not funny anymore. It was heartbreaking in the way that only love can be, queer or otherwise. As painful as the scene was, it was a huge step in everyone’s ability to understand how to play queer characters. Vax was devastated that he had to break Gilmore’s heart, and Liam still identifies Vax’s biggest regret as “causing Gilmore any pain.” Moreover, Liam was more open and enthusiastic about Vax’s bisexuality as the campaign went on after that scene.

And after that scene, Gilmore disappears in the dragon attack. The group rescues him, and Matt reveals that he nearly died trying to save Uriel’s children. In the Chroma Conclave arc we learn he crafts his own spells, seen when he kills the assassin during the Rakshasa attack and when he helps create the Whitestone barrier. The party meets his parents in Ank’Harel, and learns he changed his name to help his business succeed. We learn during the fight with Thordak that he’s a runechild sorcerer, one of Matt’s homebrew classes. It was like something had snapped, and Gilmore suddenly unfolded into three full dimensions of characterization. Of course, the storyline had gotten more dark in general, but some characters - think Viktor or the mapmaker - remained jokes, no matter how dire their situations were. Not so with Gilmore. The events of the campaign, and the party’s investment in Gilmore’s well-being and their constant instinct to seek his advice or his help, allowed Matt to play him more and to get to know him better. We saw how he reacted to tragedy and pressure and the destruction of his livelihood. He became perhaps the most beloved and fleshed-out of all Matt’s NPCs, to the point where he - along with Cass and Kaylie - was Vecna’s chosen sacrifice to hurt Vox Machina the most.

Coincidentally, Kima went through the exact inverse of this development. In the Underdark, she rebuffed Grog and Scanlan’s advances (both of them hit on her quite a bit) and seemed much happier to be reunited with Allura. The joke that Kima and Allura were a thing began to seem, over time, like much less of a joke. Fans (bless Charlotte Sandmael, for one) helped persuade Matt into getting on that ship. At the same time, though, Matt wouldn’t have gotten them together for kicks or just to please shippers. Instead, he let Kima and Allura develop through the story of the Conclave’s return. The dragons from their past brought them back together again. We saw snippets of their guilt and panic and mutual support, and even of their relationship in less hectic times (”you didn’t have to wear the dress, Kima, it was just a suggestion-”). The storyline would likely have fleshed out Kima regardless, due to her history with the Conclave, but in getting to know both Kima and Allura better, I think Matt eventually saw what the fans were seeing, and he realized that the pair of them falling in love wasn’t really a joke after all.

So, Gilmore started as a beloved if somewhat stereotypical queer cameo, and he evolved into a well-rounded and absolutely adored queer character; and two characters that likely would have been well-rounded regardless naturally developed a queer relationship out of their storylines. I think that happened because Matt is, by all evidence, an extremely empathetic person, and as a dungeon master he strives to understand all the characters he creates inside and out. Look at how well he understands Sylas and Delilah’s relationship: they’re sympathetic and understandable, despite the fact that they’re also despicable. He gets deep, deep inside their heads. And when you get that deep inside the head of someone who is openly queer, you learn to write and play them in a wonderfully rich way; and when you get that deep inside the head of someone whose orientation you don’t know, you might find out that queerness is a part of their personality.

Which brings me, finally, to Tary. I think Tary is just about the pinnacle of this development arc across the story. Up until Tary, the only player character who had a really in-depth queer storyline to explore was Vax, which almost accidentally emerged from him treating Gilmore as a flirtatious comedic bit and then realizing, through roleplay, how strong and conflicted his feelings were. Interesting in its own right, but also more or less concluded as a storyline by Episode 57. By the time Tary shows up in Episode 85, though, Kima and Allura are together, Gilmore’s super well-explored as a character, and the non-binary J’mon has been introduced. Most of the other characters were sort of locked into female-male relationships at this point (or into Epic Single-ness, in the case of Grog Strongjaw), and regardless of their identities (bisexual Vex and Panlan Scanlan) they didn’t get as much time to explore the stories of their orientation as Vax did. So when Scanlan left and Sam had an opportunity to explore a new character, he ended up with Taryon Darrington, who was later established as gay.

The most excellent thing about Tary, besides literally everything else about Tary, is that I still don’t know if Sam knew he was gay from the beginning or if he figured it out along the way. I can’t remember what Sam has said about this, and in a way it almost doesn’t matter. Tary only had about fifteen episodes to explore who he was, and in that time he had a really compelling and honest series of fears and revelations about his sexuality. To me, Tary is pretty much the pinnacle of all the hard work Critical Role has done to try and understand and play queer characters more sensitively. As a character, Tary is far more than his queerness, but he also has chances to explore that queerness in a very real way - and he even gets a happy ending!

And yeah, some things about Tary were a joke - even some things about Gilmore and Kima and Allura are still jokes - but the other thing about love is that, along with being heartbreaking, it can be pretty hilarious. Kima gets grumpy about how perfect Allura’s hair is in the morning. Tary morosely dubs his lost love affair “Larry and Tary”. Gilmore teleports into a hallway where Vax is (for some reason) naked, and cheerfully asks if it’s his birthday.

I think the reason I’ve been so proud to watch all this development is that it doesn’t just explode that Queer People Are Funny joke from the inside, it actually fixes one of the most difficult things about it. Because queer people want representation that doesn’t make a joke out of their identities, it can sometimes be hard to write funny or happy stories about being queer, and that’s part of why we end up with endless numbers of queer tragedies. And that sucks, because queer characters seriously lack for happy endings. They don’t even get to have fun, in some universes.

But being queer is fun. It’s fun and it’s funny. I loved the part where Kima was complaining to Allura about her dress. My first girlfriend was a wonderfully creative seamstress, and she and I used to cosplay together, so - let’s just say it brought back some nice memories. Critical Role remedied the problems that the Queer People are Funny trope created almost as a direct result of its format - as a result of spending so much time trying to understand those characters. Queer characters can be funny again, and they can be tragic, and they can be well-rounded and human. I think there’s a magnificent capacity for greater understanding here. It makes me very, very excited for the next campaign. If they came this far in round one, I really hope round two nets us a queer player character or three, and I can’t wait to meet them.

#critical role #critical role thesis #well it's more or less on that same road but #cut from the Final Product #for space #y'know

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italicwatches · 6 years

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GAMERS! Episode 03

Okay, sliding back towards center. It’s GAMERS!, episode 03! Here we GO!

-Opening! And what comes with an opening? Why, game references out the complicated love shape, of course! Number two on our list, a wild looking side scrolling shooter, can only be one thing… Gradius? No, Parodius! Konami’s long-running shmup series, it is a literal parody of their main shooters and other such franchises, notably Gradius and to some degree its chief competition in the market, R-Type. Gradius, and thus Parodius, are known well for the power-up bar system, where each power-up item you get moves the selector one section up the bar. You can get things like speed-ups and options and powerful weaponry, but be careful, because one wrong move and you might lose it all…And one bad combination, or one too many Speed Ups, could spell your doom! Also they haven’t made a new one that’s an actual game and not pachislot since, uhhhh…1997! Congratulations, Parodius, your newest actual game is old enough to drink the pain away. Konami: Ruining childhood dreams they themselves built, since 1969.

-DAY 03: Hoshinomori Chiaki and StreetPass Communication

-We begin in the morning, with a young lady having to keep her short skirt from showing her panties to us the viewer. Gotta be careful, lass. Then it’s to Keita, switching to his inside shoes, when Tasuku comes up…And he’s not super happy. The hell was that free-to-play game, man?! It sucks and just wants his money! And how the hell does a horror game turn into a fishing game exactly? And the ending was shit! Tasuku even slams his hand into the wall next to Keita’s head…

-They’re parodies, Tasuku, parodies! That’s the joke! Also all the girls are seeing stylish tough guy Tasuku having scrawny small nerd boy Keita pinned to the wall and are starting to ogle. And the farce continues to build.

-Once they’re in class, Keita admits that yeah, the games that guy makes are kind of…a mess, looked at straightforwardly. They’re fun because the bad parodies are funny, like mocking a crappy movie, you know? It’s like a matter of the heart! A single virgin does not get to compare things to matters of the heart with a guy who’s actively dating. …Harsh, Tasuku. Very harsh. And have you even done anything with her?!

-Um er well you see THAT’S NOT THE POINT how are things with you and Karen? Because she wants you bad. He’s…Not really had the chance to get into any real contact with her…Are you dumb or just stupid, Keita? Reach out you damned fool. Don’t just keep passing her by…

-Passing her by…You mean like StreetPass on his 3DS? Is this a comedy routine or are you just that dense?! And then Keita’s got another assistance request from Mono-san. Hold that thought he’s gotta bail out his comrade. Fine. Fine, but think about what he said.

-And so back to MMOs, as Tasuku notices that Keita’s username is “Tsucchie”, which has no connection to anything but sounds like a real-person nickname, not a username…Yeah, it’s actually from his mother’s maiden name, Tsuchiyama. He doesn’t like using anything connected to his real name, but didn’t want something too chuuni, so he just took that and simplified it down to Tsucchie, or Yama-san when they want something less cutesy. So who’s Mono there?

-Longtime MMO friend. They’ve been guild bros since practically his first day in the game! Uh huh. Well, Tasuku’s gonna have to work on this if he wants to get to watch a farce…You’ve got a lot of work to do if you’re gonna get anywhere with Karen. You’re right, he does suck. …Okay quit that. You just need to get out of this loner mode of thinking. YOU ARE SO KIND TASUKU!

-So, first way to start is by learning how to be more comfortable around young ladies…And their best in for that is gonna be what you’re passionate about! Which means they need a girl who’s into RPGs and weird parody games and shit…

-But, BAM! Right after school, Tasuku takes Keita over to another class…And bam, Hoshinomori Chiaki. Another loner who needs a friend. Keita protests, not liking the idea of sorta hitting on this girl. Too bad, Tasuku decided already. Now GET YO ASS IN THERE.

-And that’s when Aguri finds them and Tasuku you were going to spend time with her today, not your uke! Right. So he’s got to go, and you’d better make it happen, Keita! Fare thee well~

-Which is about when Keita realizes he’s been standing in the doorway long enough that people are noticing. And then his stomach lets out an unpleasant rumble. Oh dear.

-And then we’re where we left off with yesterday’s after credits scene. With Karen having a giddy haze, and then Eiichi from the club spotting Keita and hey, what’s up? Did you need Karen? Karen’s head pops up because KEITA WHAT WHERE, but Keita awkwardly claims he’s got no business with her and Karen just turns to stone. Oh, that is painful. This whole scene is gonna be rocky, isn’t it? (OH GOD THE PUNS ARE COMING OUUUUUT)

-So she crumbles to dust, and is blown away by a mournful wind, as Keita admits he’s here to talk to that girl over there…Oh, and he steps in the dust that once was Karen, for a scene that makes absolutely zero literal sense but tons of metaphorical logic, as he makes it over to Chiaki’s desk, and she…Has no idea he’s there. She’s too busy playing her PZ Vivio with her headphones in.

-Karen, recovering from her brief time as a symbol of the folly of man and the decaying powers of time immemorial, tries to get Keita’s attention…And hears it right from him that he’s here to see a girl. Ouch. B-But knowing you, it’s something managerial, some class business or something, surely! Right? TELL HER SHE’S RIGHT KEITA SHE NEEDS THIS.

-Nope he’s here to…Fuck it, all in. To work up the courage to come here and make friends with this girl as a fellow RPG lover!

-Guys I think Karen just died.

-And then Keita catches her when she collapses and EVERYONE GOES WILD, as Karen tries to get out a word, any word, and finally calls him a sleaze ball before fleeing at top speed!

-And Chiaki finally looks up and realizes things have happened and oh god there’s a strange boy looking at her what to do what to do?! She shrinks away as small as she can, in raw unyielding fear of the unknown…And that’s when he sees that she’s playing Aegis VIII. Aegis Vee plus Aegis Three equals…Aegis Eight! Aegis In Space! (Did I stretch for that Simpsons reference? Yes! Do I care? No.)

-But she realizes that he knows the game and that short-circuits the fear of Boys into just plain old confusion…Which soon leads to them at the bus stop. At far, opposite ends of the bench, as he finally introduces himself properly. And she’s…Oh she’s a nervous wreck and this conversation is totally dead, but she can only assume that he’s in the game club and is here to recruit her like Karen and Eiichi!

-Wait wait wait, he’s not in the game club! You’re not? He’s not. Oh. She, she went to watch one day when Karen invited her, but…

-But it wasn’t what you wanted at all? It was the same for him! They’re cool, but way too intense, right? Yes! She doesn’t want to be the best at anything, she just wants to have fun! YES! And Chiaki’s face finally comes out of shadow, as the two clasp hands, realizing they have finally found kindred spirits…!

-Over the next few days, the two became close friends, exchanging numbers and hanging out. They even got on a first-name basis, which isn’t nothing. They were even secretly texting in class…All as Karen watched, turning more and more into a horrifying little goblin of misery and woe…

-But then, THEN! They had a moment, of shared gushing over the Aegis series. And the best part of that series is, same time now…

-The music!

-The characters!

-A rift has opened between them. As they both suddenly feel so deeply, deeply betrayed.

-Commercial break!

-And we’re back! It’s after class and Tasuku is hearing how Keita got into a huge argument with Chiaki. Over games. Over philosophies! Shut the hell up with that overwrought bullshit. And he admits that she was far more of an actual friend than him…Oh don’t give him that. What happened?

-She…She said games don’t need appealing moe characters to be good! Are you stupid or just an idiot, Keita? He doesn’t care if she’s a cute girl who kind of looks like the Curse Freak from the much-beloved Satchél Creatures series, he will never compromise on this! So idiot, then. But fine, fine, take a few deep breaths and you two can talk it over calmly later. Okay? Don’t let a good friendship go because of this one little—

-Hard cut to the argument staring anew! Keita think of how the industry has already taken moe too far! There’s lolicon and imoutos in what were once mainstream games now! The foreign game industries are running laps around them with cinematic stories and tightly polished gameplay! The force of moe is stifling Japanese game development, you narrow-minded shrimp!

-Hold on there! Haven’t you ever played a foreign game and wished it had cute girls, instead of roid-chomping muscle men working for the military?! You…You seaweed head!

-WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER YOU MOTHERFU—

-Tasuku cuts in, argument stops now or he starts cracking skulls. How is it that Tasuku now feels like the only sane man? I assume we are only two, maybe three episodes tops from Gakuto being the only person with a rational thought in his FPS-addled brain. The only question in my mind is whether it’ll be because of actual logic, or because things have devolved so far that “teabag them all and let God sort it out” becomes a sensible approach to the situation.

-Anyways Tasuku wants these two idiots to just chill the fuck out and get along, they clearly care about each other…And Chiaki gets all blushy about the idea and Keita thinks she’s getting a crush on Tasuku like all the other girls. So you’ll fawn over a stylish, handsome guy like Tasuku here, but won’t accept moe?! What kind of hypocrite are you?!

-Hey. HEY. Tasuku cuts that all down. Everyone cool your fuckin’ jets. And don’t go making shit personal. …Even if Keita really is a shrimp.

-But soon he’s making them both sit down and, hey, Chiaki, weren’t you talking about where you were in the new Aegis game? …She was in the elven hideout…

-That’s where Keita just got to this morning! It’s one of the best maps yet! The look, the layout, the way they show off the elvish hatred for humanity! Yeah, yeah! Chiaki gets all hype again as her anger fizzles in the wake of getting to talk about her new favorite game with someone who gets it…

-But the best part for Keita and the worst part for Chiaki is the downright lewd pose of the elf girl in the center! Everyone else in the room promptly takes their chance to run like hell, as the argument starts right back up…! But Tasuku is on the ball this time, and cuts it right off, and can’t you both just fucking let this shit go?!

-You don’t get it! Actual quote: “We’re lonely gamers with nothing but our inflated egos.” Okay first of all Keita I fucking saw you just subtweet me right there, and second

-Of course, both of them consider this compromise simply UNACCEPTABLE…But for Tasuku, the worst part is that Aguri is on the other side of the locked door, giving him the horrifying-little-goblin face. Damn, she’s got an intense aura. Okay, time to call it short. You two have good hearts, don’t let one disagreement wreck a good thing. And Chiaki, don’t let Keita’s shit get to you. You’re cute in your own way. The messy-hair thing works for you. And now Chiaki doesn’t know what to do and Aguri is about to shatter this door with her sheet wrath and fury.

-So, okay, they’re all gamer buddies now, right? They should enjoy it. And Keita realizes how much this looks like a romance between these two, as Tasuku idly comments that if Chiaki does want a change, maybe she could try the short-haired look? She’s got the face for it, and she’d look cute as hell with it! Oh god that damned idiot…Because over at the door, Aguri has collapsed much like Karen earlier.

-Speaking of Karen, she and Eiichi are over at the window, watching this whole proceeding…And she needs to know what kind of relationship those two have! Eiichi has no idea but they seem to get along really well. OH GOD THEY GET ALONG REALLY WELL?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! He has no idea please quit shaking him.

-Cut to Tasuku and Aguri walking home, and Tasuku notices how quiet Aguri is…And has to try and figure out how to explain what she saw. He was mediating a fight between two friends, is all. And Aguri gets all down, because she feels she’s being lied to, and the only thing she doesn’t know is if her boyfriend is leaving her for a weird nerdy girl, or a weird nerdy guy. Oh dear…

-Cut over to Keita writing up a post on that least parody game. Which was fun, but maybe played it a bit too safe…Still, he posts a positive comment. One that gets noticed by the creator and gets a thanks sent his way! But something seems off for him…

-The next day after class, Tasuku’s more stylish friends are wanting to figure out this rumor of this really cute girl that just showed up in school out of nowhere, and Tasuku’s trying to figure out who the hell it could be…He didn’t hear about any transfers, so did someone pull off a weekend makeover…? Keita comes up and hey, want to go hang out? He would, but he’s waiting for Aguri. …Is something up, Keita?

-He’s…Worried about Tasuku and Aguri. What? Why? Tasuku doesn’t even think Keita knows Aguri…But before that subject can go any further, up come footsteps, and a very nervous Chiaki who has gotten a redo into being the bluenette from the OP and ED! And Tasuku stares, as a crowd starts forming, and Keita is the one who realizes it. That specific way it curls, like dried seaweed. WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU MOTHERFUCKER

-And Tasuku realizes oh shit it’s Chiaki. And she suddenly looks…Really cute. And oh jeez. He just got himself into a mess, didn’t he. If Aguri finds out what he said led to this…

-Of course Aguri hears it and has a freakout so bad she turns into a sketch. And Keita quietly realizes he’s in hell…But also he sees Aguri stagger off and oh jeez, as he steps away to go make sure she’s okay. And Tasuku realizes several seconds later, as Keita is off looking for Aguri who managed to pull a runner…When he runs into Karen! Karen great timing! OH GOD KEITA um er that is hi. S-She’s sorry for her misunderstanding about the other day and, um…

-Huh? Never mind that, time is of the essence. Have you seen Aguri?

-Do you just like making her suffer? Are you into S&M, is that it? Should she get one of those masks with the zippers?

-But, she saw a ditzy, cute pink-haired girl looking deeply depressed and heading for the entrance and wait tell her, exactly, why you’re looking for this girl! Relationship drama thanks bye! And Karen collapses in Keita’s absence…

-When Keita catches up to Aguri at her locker and oh, it’s the weird guy who wants to fuck Tasuku. Wait WHAT that’s not…Okay. Okay never mind. Listen. …Do you want to go have tea?! And Aguri is very, very confused, even as they end up at a little cafe, and Keita wonders when the hell this became his life, hitting on every girl around him… (YOU DAMNED FOOL CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU)

-Of course, it’s VERY awkward at this cafe, as Aguri is down in the dumps and just making bubbles in her drink. And Keita tries to talk to her about what she saw and what happened. But her Tasuku said that bluenette was super cute! If he’s even her Tasuku anymore…Yeah, but that wasn’t…It’s not…He’s not into her like that. Besides, he was just talking about you and how cute you are. He definitely has strong feelings for you! just give him a chance to explain and clear the air, and Keita promises you, it’ll work out…

-And Aguri starts to perk up, as she decides to go get a fresh drink, feeling all warm and bubbly again…And Keita just relaxes at last, as he pops out his phone and sees an MMO event. Well, maybe he’ll jump into some battles, invite Mono-san, and just be able to clear his head, let everything go back to normal…When he hears the sound of a tray hitting the ground.

-And finds Aguri just standing there, locked up. Because across the street, Tasuku and Chiaki are all cuddled up WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

-Credits!

UUUUUUUUUUUU

#where I watch #recap #gamers!#anime

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