#since I'm on tiktok i usually try to mention different terms if i can

[kitmoas]

and there we offer dove to flame

Summary: Family, no matter how you get them, is the only thing you have at the end of the day

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader

Word Count: about 4.3k

Warnings: Stepmom!Wanda, Dark fic (allusions to murder, witch/dark magic, dark deity), Cult vibes, dub con/dub non con, blood mention (vague blood consumption), strap on use (r receiving), breeding kink, stomach bulge, mommy/daddy kink, bit of degrading and overall just smut

*As usual let me know if I missed anything important*

A/N: Hi! So for all cult vibe stuff, I'm going to leave the translations at the bottom of the fic! numbered just like footnotes :)

***Minors DNI*** ***18+***

Main Master list // Kitmoas | Occult

A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you lean against the counter, the rambunctious laughter from the living room echoes throughout the normally quiet house. Ever since your father remarried, his new wife would always bring home friends after her nights out partying. Their relationship was confusing to say the least; the woman was an extrovert who never liked being home while your dad was anything but a homebody who barely even spoke to the rest of the family. You couldn’t tell if the two were actually in love or if this was all just your father trying to get over your mom’s death but either way you found the entire situation exhausting.

You couldn’t lie that Wanda was one of the most fun people you ever got to be around, and it sometimes made you feel like instead of a stepmom you just got a new friend. She was much younger than your father, but still at least ten years older than you. The two of you spent most of your time together watching movies and baking in the kitchen. A nice enough lady, but definitely not the type you ever saw your father marrying. 

Maybe you just had a deep resentment towards him moving on or exhaustion settling in from how busy the house was now but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something seemed off about your step mother. It was something you kept to yourself, refusing to act like an angry teenager while you were a senior in college, but you weren’t ever going to let yourself feel completely at ease around Wanda until you were satisfied. Instead you let yourself enjoy your time both with your father and his wife, along with whatever new people came into the house, coming to terms that one day you would learn to be as happy as he was.  

Starting the walk towards your room, you catch a glimpse of Wanda and her best friend–Natasha. Leaning against a pillar, you stop to watch the two giggle like school girls on the couch as they sip wine. The ginger was intriguing, something about her always drew you near. She was over at the house a lot, even when your step mother wasn’t home. It allowed the two of you to become friends, talking about different things and later finding out that you both enjoy dance and sports. It was a bit strange to see someone her age want to hang out with a person barely in their twenties, but you wouldn’t complain. 

For a moment you almost turn around and go to hang out with the two, attempting to ignore your gut feeling that something is off with them because you just want to be friends with them. The exhaustion makes your muscles sore and your brain slow so you instead just drag yourself up the stairs. It feels like it takes forever to get ready for bed, even with you skipping half of your normal routine. You pass your father’s room, door cracked as always and you peek in. He’s sound asleep, but the loud muffled conversation makes the empty side of the bed even more obvious. 

Your soft cotton sheets are a welcome coolness as you finally settle into bed, your phone dim as you languidly scroll through tiktok. Eyes fluttering shut you’re glad as your phone slips from your grip that you had already plugged it in for the night. Wiggling deeper into your cocoon of blankets, you can feel sleep dragging you under. 

Consciousness hits you before you are able to open your eyes, but the feeling of arousal lays deep in your bones. Shivers from the air circulating the room fights against the way your body overheats, radiating from the warmth boiling in your lower belly. Squirming about trying to get comfortable, your legs hit something weirdly squishy. 

Freezing you slowly retract your foot, trying to prepare yourself to face whatever monster is in your bed. The sight of Natasha, sitting cross legged with her eyes closed and murmuring to herself, wasn’t what you were expecting but it did make you panic. Stammering you try to speak, your throat dry, as you stare wide eyed at the ginger. “U-uh um…N-Natasha did y’need somehin?” 

You watch as the older woman barely reacts to your question, only slightly moving her head as she continues her muted chanting. Unsure what to do, you try slowly moving your body around, a feeble attempt to put some space in between the two of you when her hand shoots out to grip your leg tightly. “I wouldn’t move and ruin everything if I were you, голубь.” Her normally bright emerald eyes look almost black, even with the moonlight illuminating her face. 

Her nails are digging into your thigh, almost like a bird’s talon gripping its prey. Barely looking at you, you watch as a crazed smile spreads slowly across her face. The shine of her teeth as her tongue flicks across them is distracting, but you can’t help the whimper that falls from your lips. It’s almost inaudible, and incredibly pitiful, but it’s enough to get her attention. Head snapping up, tilting as her eyes widen and focus on you. 

She stares at you, silence wrapping around the two of you like a warm blanket. Her mouth relaxes, softening into a playful grin, as she reaches for your face. “Don’t be scared, pretty girl, I promise I’m not here to hurt you. You’re so precious, and just so perfect. I could never harm you.” You know you’re shaking, involuntarily and it’s making you mad to show such a weakness, but it’s almost like she doesn’t care. 

Natasha’s body is looming over you, pushing you farther back into the mattress, soft and your usual place of comfort suddenly stripped of consolation. You can’t quite tell if fear is what you feel or if it’s something else you can’t place, but you know that your breath is caught in your throat as you stare helplessly up at her. Her free hand is trailing along your body, fingernails lightly scratching as she maps out each spot on your skin. Your mouth opens and closes a few times, trying to find the words to even try to get her to stop but for some reason you can’t speak. 

Pushing your shirt up, the ginger lets her cold hand cup your bare breasts as she internally chuckles as your torso breaks out in goosebumps. She watches through her lashes as you shake your head, a silent plea for her to stop. The hand is gentle, groping you as if handling a fragile sculpture. Natasha’s forehead leans against your collarbone, lips grazing against your skin as she mumbles. "Слава Чернобогу - славному деятелю, на которого мы возлагаем величайший трибун и страх. Хвала тому, кто дарует нам кровь, в которой обретается наша свобода. В честь тебя мы приносим самое чистое искупление". (1) 

You aren’t sure what she is saying, but it sounds scary and she’s making small noises each time she takes a breath. It’s jarring, making your skin crawl each time. Shrill and quick, the shriek is accompanied with random grunting and your brain cannot make sense of any of it. Panic begins to take over your body, flight winning over fight, you thrash as you try to escape the cage of limbs and weight of her body. It’s entirely too easy for her to overpower you, manipulating your body until you're laid out beneath her. Limbs flopped out to the side as she runs her fingers along your messy locks, smoothing them out as she settles comfortably with her knee between your thighs. “You were doing so good, don’t make me angry.” Her voice is soothing, but the threat still lingers in the air. 

The hand she tangles in your hair almost feels loving, caressing the back of your head she keeps you where she wants you. Her knee grinding against your covered center as she holds your head, cooing at you as the tears build up in your eyes. You’re begging her to stop but it’s almost like she doesn’t hear a single word you are saying. Wanda’s name is tumbling from your lips before you can stop it, as if you were reverting back to calling for your mother when you had a nightmare, hoping that she would help. 

You feel weak and helpless, something about this situation feels different. No matter how your body reacts, the arousal still simmering under your skin from whatever she did to you before you awoke, you felt betrayed and you couldn’t stop this fear of the older woman you had confided in. Throat raw as you sob, pleas for help and your step mother’s name tumbling from your lips almost incoherently, head thrashing about as you try to break free from her grasp. “Please just let me go! I won’t tell anyone, just please stop!” 

Your begging does nothing to deter the ginger, if anything she just snickers down at you. Pressing her leg more firmly in between your thighs, she can’t stop the taunt that falls from her mouth. “If you want me to stop you better stop grinding your needy cunt on my thigh, like the perfect little slut you are.” Her mouth is slightly open, a mocking smile ghosts along her lips as her tongue traces her own teeth. The forest green eyes sparkle in the moonlight, a mischievous glint as she perks up when a whimper tumbles out of you. “Call for your Mommy again, go ahead. I know she would love to see you like this.” 

Wide eyes filled with confusion as you open your mouth to scream her name, but a quiet throat clearing in the doorway gets your attention. Natasha’s hand slips from your hair to squish your cheeks as she moves your head to look over. There stands the brunette, leaning casually against the frame, her dark silhouette stark against the light from the hallway. “Did you need me, detka?” She pushes herself up, gliding gracefully over to you. Climbing onto the bed, she sits near your head. 

Her soft hands push her best friend’s off your face as she cups your jaw, cooing and fussing over you as she looks for any sign of distress or pain. You’re pushing away from Natasha, rolling over to crawl towards your step mother and trying to nuzzle your face as close to her as possible. She is tugging you forward now, almost as enthusiastic as you, and safety sinks into your mind the farther you get from the ginger’s preying hands. So focused on finding comfort in her touch, you weren’t really aware how she was manipulating your body but it was her slipping her fingers into your mouth that shocked you. 

Wanda is shushing you, the softness of her touch turning harsh and hostile as you begin to struggle against her. The digits in your mouth are thrusting vigorously, gagging you each time you try to bite down or pull away. Chastising you, the brunette scrunches her nose each time she feels your jaw tense.  “My little dove, please don’t make this difficult. We don’t want to hurt you, you’re so precious to us.” Sweet and soothing, her voice starts to settle your urge to thrash around. Fingers slipping down to your jaw, hooking along your chin painfully, she holds you in place as she slips a harness over your head. Teeth clinking against the large metal o ring, she’s clipped the gag into place and is inspecting it before you can even fight. 

Nails sink into your hips, effortlessly pulling your body up and backwards against what you can only guess is Natasha’s body. She’s guiding you to grind back onto the bulge that the ginger had been hiding this whole time. With your mouth wide open you no longer can muffle the moan, the high pitch sound bringing delighted smiles to both of the older women’s faces. Natasha leans down, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “Do you hear how pretty you sound? We haven’t even properly touched you, and you’re already dripping onto the sheets.” 

You try to crawl away but Wanda wraps her hand around your throat, a concerned look on her face as she runs her free hand through your hair. “Where are you going princess? I wouldn’t struggle too much, Daddy’s cock will hurt much worse if you fight it.” Your flimsy panties are ripped away from your body, the sound of the fabric tearing fills the room and you can feel the regret of wearing basically nothing to bed. 

Smooth silicone rubs through your folds, and the shame fills your body when you subconsciously grind back onto it. Flinching when the ginger spits on you, rubbing the tip of her strap in it as she watches you shiver. “Don’t worry, we don’t want to break you, love. We just want to break you in.” 

Not even a second later, giving you no time to prepare, Natasha is shoving herself into you. You expect it to be painful, stretching around the largest thing you’ve ever taken, but after all the teasing your body is more than ready to take whatever you’re given. The older woman growls, a possessive sound, when she watches your cunt stretch and suck her cock in like you were made for her. "Благословите эту голубку, ибо она - та, кого мы сочли достойным поклонения". (2) 

The ginger’s thrusts are anything but gentle from the moment she sinks her entire length in you, hips moving at an unforgivable pace. Wanda is smiling widely at you, fingers tracing the leather digging into your cheeks. Smudging the drool that collects there all over your chin and throat, “You look so pretty like this. Your Daddy has barely even started and you’re already so fucked out.” The brunette curls her fingers into your open mouth, nails dragging across wet metal behind your teeth. 

Moans and whimpers falling from your lips mostly sound gurgled and mumbled around your step-mother’s fingers, eyes fluttering as you struggle to keep up with the way the ginger is thrusting into you. “P’ease is t’muc too.” Words slurring, voice cracking and breaking as you try to beg for relief. 

Wanda just giggles at you, almost sympathetically, as she shakes her head. “I’m sorry little one, I know you’re overwhelmed but we can’t stop.” Her wet hand slaps gently against your cheek. “You’ll thank us after.” You can hear mumbles behind you, each word punctuating the snap of her hips as she drives her length into you. It makes your head bobble and your thighs shake, but you can’t lie anymore as you feel the heat almost boiling over. Nothing has every felt as good as the hands ghosting along your body, and the strap stretching your pussy with a subtle burn.

Drool soaked fingers slip down your body, reaching between your thighs. She lets the way your body is naturally moving with Natasha’s thrust to graze your clit, throbbing and neglected. She giggles as she watches your hips jump each time she even slightly rubs at it, turning her head to nip at your ear lobe. "С каждым движением мы предлагаем тебя, чистейшее из существ, величайшему из богов. Прародитель всех, благослови невинность, чтобы принять подношение семьи. " (3) 

Your head falls pathetically against Wanda’s shoulder, your body barely able to hold up against the ginger’s rutting. You could feel the wetness coating your thighs as it dripped down, soaking into the sheets your knees are rubbing against. The longer the two older women manipulate your body the harder it is to think, to speak–almost like they drained all abilities. Vision blurry and your skull feels like it's going to explode, babbling out to the others. 

Neither care, focused on each other and their goal now. Natasha can tell just by how difficult it is to move inside you that you’re close, your cunt clench each time Wanda’s fingers pinch at your clit. The two look entirely too proud and smug as they realize just how perfect you are, the latter biting into your shoulder to leave a few marks on your otherwise untouched unmarked skin. 

The way your thighs shake and the overwhelming rush of arousal scares you, panic filling your body. “Mommy i- please. I’m” Your voice is quiet, a muted wail as you try to get their attention. “Daddy I can’t, it’s.. Im gonna–” You weren’t sure what was happening but the older women didn’t care, smiling widely at each other as Wanda pulled away to look you in the eyes. Her normal bright green no more instead blown out, black in color, as her entire body vibrates. She’s panting as she stares at you, and you don’t understand what’s happening. 

She cups your cheek, wiping the tears that are forming away. “Let go baby, Mommy is here to catch you. Show Daddy how good she’s been fucking you. Show her how good she is at taking care of all your pretty little needs.” 

Natasha tumbles forward, wrapping one arm around your waist as she roughly thumbs at your clit. Rutting into you, hitting your soft spot over and over again. The ginger is grunting into your ear, broken whimpers as she works to drag you over the edge. “Your tight little cunt is so addicting. So puffy and soft, dripping and clenching around me like a needy selfish whore. I don’t think I’m going to be able to ever share you with the rest of the group. Maybe you’ll just be our little pet forever.” 

Wanda moans, audibly, at that line. Biting her bottom lip as she leans in, kissing you. It’s sloppy and chaotic, the o ring prevents you from doing anything but letting the brunette take what she wants. “Our little thing to pamper, all you need to do is sit there and let us fill that pretty belly as many times as we want.” She’s leaning her forehead against yours, watching you struggling to even keep your fuzzy eyes open. 

In your barely coherent mind her words just push you closer to the edge, a whine as you struggle to not cum. Natasha’s hand splays across your stomach, imagining what it’ll be like when she can feel more than just her cock inside of you. “You’ll be so pretty filled with our baby. I don’t care whose cum it is that I have to fuck into you, they will be ours. You’ll get to feed them and love them while Mommy and Daddy take care of you.” Her calloused hand is pressing down on your lower belly, moaning as she feels her strap moving inside you. A choppy whine falling from her lips is all it takes to push you over the edge; your entire body shaking violently as your orgasm rushes through you.  

The heat is spreading along your body, bouncing between each place they touch keeping you in a state of euphoria. Each time they speak you can feel yourself leak, tightening around the strap. Clawing desperately at the sheets, you start feeling an overwhelming pressure building in your lower belly. No matter your attempts to move away, the older women keep you exactly where they want you. 

Natasha is rutting into you with no real care in the world, her forehead between your shoulder blades as she puts her entire body into forcing you over the edge a second time. If it weren’t for her hands on either side of your body, you know for a fact that you would have crumbled under the pressure and force she’s moving. You can barely register the way her teeth scrape against your sensitive skin as she mutters,  "Великий праотец, с освященным источником мы клянемся принести грядущим поколениям". (4)

Wanda’s hand returns to your throat, wrapping her fingers tightly around as she pulls your head back up. Slipping her thumb into your mouth, she presses it against your tongue. Your moans and words all become gibberish as your step mother leans in, licking a stripe up your cheek. As her lips meet your temple you hear the sound again, raucous and jarring, it vibrates against your skull as it tumbles over and over from the older woman’s mouth. 

Natasha’s moans are getting higher in your ear, more breathy as her hips move more erratically. Her nails are digging into your skin, and you’re sure that she’s going to leave marks. The way the two sway you between them leaves you disoriented, mind swirling as you try to keep up.   “Cum with Daddy, cum with me malyshka” 

It isn’t until you start feeling a warmth inside you, spreading and coating your insides that you finally do cum a second time. Your orgasm is strong, blinding as it ripples through your body. Even though you’re already shaking intensely, losing the ability to hold yourself up, Natasha has a grip on your hips as she continues to thrust into you. It’s all too much and you want to get away, but Wanda’s is kissing all over your mouth and the only sound you seem to be able to make is filthy moans. 

Stars are exploding behind your eyes as your head bounces around, body just trying to take the thrusts that the ginger is still forcing you to endure. The sheets below you hold a puddle of cum and you hate how sticky it makes you feel where you have half fallen into. You can’t really feel your body anymore, just the warmth inside you and the way your clit jumps. You can feel how tender and raw your pussy is even as Natasha lazily ruts into you. 

"Родина тебя, воинство, в котором наш храм дарует вечную жизнь. Прими дар вечного происхождения, стремления вперед и связанную с ним благожелательность. Жизнеспособность во всем, в чем господствует наше божество, и изгони разврат, откуда он мог прийти. За что праотец, избранный патриарх, панигирировал". (5) The ginger’s voice is soft, spoken against the back of your neck as she leans her entire weight on you. The way she holds you allows you to slip deeper into the fuzzy feeling in your brain, finally taking comfort in the way the two dote over you. 

Twitching and barely grumbling, you whine as you feel Natasha pulling out of you but it’s quickly silenced when she pops something into you. Forcing your eyes open you search for your step mother but Wanda is already standing, excusing herself as she says something about finishing up outside. You try to focus on her blurry figure as she walks away, but your eyes are still heavy and your brain can’t even understand how to move your body voluntarily yet. 

The ginger wraps you up in her arms as she sets you on a bean bag in the corner of your room, a blanket falling to lay over your limp form. Her lips graze your forehead for a moment as she rubs her thumb along your cheek. You pathetically watch her walk around the room, cleaning up, through hooded eyes. Curiously you watch as she carefully picks up the discarded strap and places it in a weird looking bag before she strips the bed. She walks over to some candles that you didn’t notice in the corner, settling the ruined sheet in the middle before kneeling near the crescent shape. 

She’s still kneeling and rocking by the time that Wanda comes back, slightly perking up at that. Your step mother kneels quickly, pouring a thick dark ruby liquid over the sheets as she adds her own chants. She moves hastily and is crossing the floor towards you before your brain can catch up. “Do you want to be on the bed to drink your hot chocolate Little One?” The lazy nod makes her smile and she slips the bottle into her back pocket, lifting you with ease. 

The new sheets are soft and dry, and you settle into them quickly before Wanda slides behind you. Letting you curl up into her warmth and she hands you what looks like a sippy cup. “I didn’t want you to spill it baby.” She disregards you as you whine about being too old, bringing the bottle to your lips as she glares down at you. 

As you drink you observe the woman, there's a shine of sweat along her brow and a few cherry splatters along her collarbone. She catches your confusion and shushes you, running her fingers along your body and tapping the plug that is still inside you. Even though you have so many questions, and the hot cocoa tastes funny, you can feel your brain and body start to go slack. All your thoughts quickly drain from your mind as you feel all your tenseness leaving your muscles. 

Natasha finally slips on the bed, pulling gently at the plug inside you to make sure nothing leaked out. Ignoring your whimper, continuing to play with the only thing keeping the cum inside you, "В этот день мы дарим нашей заветной звезде величайшую капитуляцию, на которую способна новая кровь. Обмен на одного, жизнь, которую нужно отдать, на жизнь, которой нужно быть.” (6) Her hands rub along your thighs, taking note of every mark the two left on your body. “Чтобы быть посвященными тебе как подношение, возлюбленный, свяжи наши души не только со священной землей, по которой ты ходишь, но и с каждым местом, где почва пропитана благословенной кровью наших предков.”(7)  Biting her bottom lip, the ginger gulps as she tries to keep her emotions in check as she finishes. ”Даруй благодать не только высшим из высших, но и прадеду, который, учитывая знания твоего мозга, является нашей дорогой в вечность и вечность в твою честь."(8) 

The ginger voice fades out, body slowly coming to a halt after she had begun to rock. Allowing the silence to lay heavy in the room, she watches the candles flicker before they quickly extinguish without a trace. Natasha finally directs her attention to Wanda, bright forest eyes filled with excitement and curiosity. “Is it done? She is ours?” 

The brunette chuckles lightly, watching as your eyes slip closed. Her hand caresses your cheek, humming as you subconsciously lean into her touch. “The family will be pleased. We’ll bring grandfather the next generation with ease.” 

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1- “Unto Chernobog the glorious figure in which we place utmost tribune and fear. Praise to he who gives us the blood in which our freedom is found. We bring forth the most pure atonement in honor of thee.” 

2- “Bless this dove for she is who we deemed worthy of worship.” 

3- “With each movement, we offer thee purest of beings to the greatest of gods. The forefather of all, bless the innocence to receive the family’s offering. ” 

4-  “Great forefather, with the sanctified source, we vow to bring generations to come.” 

5- “The motherland of thee, a host in which our temple grants eternal life. Take the gift of ever derivation, strides forthcoming and bound by benevolence. Vitality in all that our deity prevails and banish depravity from once it may have come. For which the forefather, chosen patriarch, panegyrized.”

6- “On this day, we give to our treasured star the greatest surrender in which new blood can give. An exchange for one, a life to give for a life to be.”

7- “To be dedicated to you as an offering, beloved, bind our souls to not only the sacred ground you walk but each spot in which the soil is soaked with the blessed blood of our ancestors.” 

7- “Give grace to not only the highest of the highs but to the great grandfather whom given the knowledge of your brain, is our road to forever and evermore in your honor.”  

[bisluthq]

I'm new on your blog. So if you allow me to ask, which kind of books do you usually read?

I personally usually read thriller/suspense, mystery like those books that have people disappearing or there's criminal investigations, the romance genre in general but I specially like historical ones (but not like connected to royalty, more like historical periods. I read a lot of books with World War I and II as background. Just finished the other day an autobiography kind of book of two jewish brothers that ran away from the nazis) and those where there's a lot of drama and suspense with the romance as in it's not like plain romance. I noticed the book you mentioned is historical romance, even though I never heard of it. Have you ever read anything from Lesley Pearse? She's the one that got me hooked in that genre.

I'm not the biggest fan of fantasy and sci-fi - just general genres that start for reality -, but every once in a while I give it a try if something catches my attention. I usually also don't read YA books or those recommended on tiktok, because I feel like that kind of writing is not really for my age range anymore 😂 I'm not exactly a teen, so the romance in those books is like eh...I usually say it's too much water with sugar

I have been trying to catch up on reading a lot of those classic books, cause I confess that I was never really into reading them. Since my first language is not English, the books you are required to read for school are the classical ones of my own language yk so it was never really a requirement, but I do think it's important. I even caught these beautiful editions that was like a magazine collection thing every two weeks. They did it to more than 50 classical books and I got a handful. I'm a sucker for beautiful covers 🤭

I read a looooot of different things. I have read some Lesley Pearce books. If you enjoy that kind of stuff, some other quite mainstream writers to look at would be Lucinda Riley (I really like her work - it’s super well researched, like I’ve legit learned things about places/historical periods in those places from her books and the storylines are really great), Kate Morton (she also takes inspiration from a range of genres), Mary Chamberlain (again, insanely well researched because she’s a history professor actually but there’s always a lot of romance and stuff and also she’s a very cool person idk), this is a specific book that I think you might enjoy - it’s kinda a historical detective story but in a weird way and there’s a lot of personal intrigue which is When We Were Orphans by Kazuo Ishiguro and you will almost definitely enjoy The Remains of the Day also by him (but most of his other stuff is fantasy/sci fi tbh). Ken Follett writes epic stories (he does both detectives/thrillers and historical books but not really heavy on the romance - always a bit but not like romance books per se). Also you could try Afterlives by Abdulrazak Gurnah (not strictly romance but there is some and it’s such an interesting story and history that I’d known very little about). Idk those are some to try that I think you’d like. If you’ve read any of them lemme know and I can suggest other things too lol.

also it’s quite dreadfully written (but not as bad as a lot of BookTok faves actually) but Barbara Taylor Bradford’s A Woman of Substance (not the sequels) is a fucking EPIC story lmao. It’s also easy to read. And the sex scenes are weirdly kinda hot lmao even though it’s very fade to black haha. Like it’s not as good in terms of trying to read to improve your English vocab or interest in literature but the plot is 👌🏼😂

As I say, I’m always happy to suggest books to people because I read a lot! I try to do like at least two “serious” books a month (either nonfiction or contemporary fiction of various genres or whatever) and then I read a couple romcoms/random detective things sometimes parallel to that if I just want something that’s fun or some poetry parallel to it if I find something new or a poet I like releases a new collection and like maybe once or twice a year, I read a classic-ish thing I haven’t read before but because of how much I “had” to read when studying and “have” to read to teach, there aren’t thaaaat many I haven’t read and actively want to lol. So yeah I’m always reading something or several somethings.

In terms of The House of Doors idk man it’s a bit of a weird book so I can’t say I’m not enjoying it but it also wouldn’t specifically be something I’d be recommending, it’s just something I’m trying rn.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi! I found this article that mentions bestie in it (since you were looking for some). https://medium.com/the-comeback-of-culture/tiktok-language-whats-up-with-the-misuse-of-aave-e1f19c6c75b3 Black people feel differently about some of these terms being used by non black people, but if anyone is curious about using them maybe look into the history about it first (like you’re doing)? Also, another thing is when people approach a black person and use these terms only with said black person. White or non black lgbtqia+ members also need to be careful with their treatment of some of these words. A final thing I can think of is when it’s almost unconscious mimicking of aave when using some of these terms. Non black people sometimes use them with what can be described as an “aggressive” tone, which is a negative stereotype for Black people. The usage of these words is usually seen as bad or uneducated when black people use them, so for white/nonblack people to use them and be praised for it is problematic! Be aware of how you use said terms. I hope this is helpful! ps slay comes from “slay queen” and it’s been used the wrong way by white people, so they’re typically made fun of for using “slay” the wrong way. Maybe this is where some of the white humor thing came from! pps thank you for taking peoples thoughts here and trying to be peaceful with this whole thing!

Hello to you, too! Thank you for the article link (here for anyone who wants to look). If you don't want to look then I'll highlight what I think is the most relevant point regarding "bestie," as it's only mentioned in passing twice.

“I had to work hard not to sound ‘ghetto’ and now I can hear little White girls calling each other bestie and sis. It’s weird,” Bernard laments.

My conclusion from the few sources I've managed to find so far are that "bestie" is considered AAVE in at least some spaces and that it's usage is similar to that of other appropriated AAVE (e.g. periodt, on fleek), but that when it comes to talking about AAVE "bestie" is not what is typically brought up and it's unknown how widespread it is. Unlike phrases like the ones I mentioned that have a clearer history you can research, "bestie" is difficult (at least in my searches so far) to find any direct sources about.

If I've missed something, please feel free to let me know! This is just what I've gathered so far.

Of course people will have different opinions, so I did a little bit of researched and found these articles with some differing views that people can look at: this one doesn't take a definitive stance but reminds to be aware of the history of what you say, and this one is against AAVE use by non-blacks because it celebrates blackness only when the person isn't black and doesn't know black history. That's of course only two resources and won't be reflective of every single person, but I figured I'd add them.

Those sources also mention some of the negative stereotypes and how non-black people using AAVE can escape those perceptions, but it doesn't touch on the queer aspect really so thank you for specifically mentioning that. I brought it up the first time not to excuse away it's usage, but instead as a "perhaps this is what happened." But yes, being queer doesn't give us a pass to say whatever we want

As for slay, I can see how that would lead to the white humor comment! I found this article talking about it last night, but also it's not loading right now on any of my devices so I can't 100% confirm how relevant it is at the moment. Including the link just in case though! I'm also seeing a lot of other sources attribute it to different places, so that may be something to look more into

And thank you for being so peaceful and sharing your thoughts! I realized that when I was saying "hey how about you talk to us directly" that that could be a little vague if you didn't know where to go, so I wanted to offer my blog as a direct spot people could talk if they were so inclined. I think it's helpful to have that kind of communication!

Thank you for the article link and for the information and explanations you've provided, I greatly appreciate it!

[boobie-fem-x]

I just want to say I don't usually leave asks but :,)

Being a terf = being a fascist.

You can't be punk and be a terf. That's literally the same as being punk and being homophobic or sexist or anything else bigoted.

And you hating trans people and continuing to promote hate will not stop them from existing.

Sex does NOT equal gender and if you took the time to look that up you would understand that. Scientists, doctors, psychologists, whoever you need validation from,,, they all support it. Not to mention not only do we not live in a two gendered world we live in a world where there is more than two sexes. Intersex children are born everyday .

And ?? You're literally a feminist so you wouldn't reduce a woman to her parts, a woman is more than a vagina and a uterus so ??? Why are you belittling trans women to their parts ?? You are literally saying women = their bodies and that's it, if you took the time to think about that too you'd realize you're a hypocrite.

Also ?? Trans people have always had a place in the lesbian community too ?? The amount of butches that identify as trans ??? or use masculine terms/pronouns ?? The fact that we wouldn't have the rights we have without trans women of color ??? And ?? Trans people have existed since the beginning of time I'm sure?? Terfs?? Not so much .

Have you even taken the time to think about gender?? What really makes a man and a woman ???? Because men can have all the qualities women have, and women can have all the qualities a man has too that's just how it is, that's just how people are, we are diverse and you need to realize that no matter who you are you're going to see men, women, and just people differently, everyone's going to have a different view on gender,, and really the only thing that makes you what gender you are,, and could ever make you "less of" or "more of" is yourself.

+ one person's actions shouldn't define a whole community or again you just haven't done your research, you haven't taken the time to learn about your own damn community

+ I hope you know most trans people spend their whole lives feeling miserable and sick and suffocated and discovering your trans and finding words and terms for yourself literally feels like breathing for the first time and again ?? What do you want to do ??? Shit on people for that ?? You're not better than the homophobes kid

I could honestly rant a lot more but I've wasted way too much of my time on a fuckin terf. There is no justifying your shitty actions and words of hate but I just hope you stop repressing whatever you are or heal from whatever you have to and probably realize you're trans or non-binary or both. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with playing with gender, there's nothing wrong with being every gender, there's nothing wrong with switching genders, there's nothing wrong with feeling one way for such a long time and realizing that it just doesn't fit anymore. But there is something wrong with someone hating on someone for just trying to be themselves,, if you could see things from a trans perspective (well you and every other terf) then you would understand that it's so hard for us to want to take up space, it's hard for us to find our place,,, nobody just chooses to be trans and have the world look at them this way, but again you :) are choosing to be hateful, bigoted, and just a huge dick and that's me being nice. But you are literally adding onto the reasons why trans people are killed and obviously if that amuses you I think you and everyone else who think so needs to ask themselves how they can be such a sick person :,) You're young but you're not that young so stop being a bigot. Don't place your anger on my community.

(there are also several videos, articles, posts, fuckin tiktoks about how being a terf leads to being a fascist if you took the time to read on that too :))

-angry trans person

im not going to read all this, eat my pussy out because im more punk than you ever will be and i hate fascism

[tj-shmt]

A Day of Curation

Unless its Wednesday, it should be around 11am right now when i get up. First things first, put in my headphones and go get some good music! Its Monday - time to listen to my Discover Weekly playlist, which Spotify usually tailors perfectly to my tastes.

1. 🎶 SPOTIFY 🎶

Fun fact - this weeks "Discover Weekly" suggs. Usually I get the best music from there. I don't really recall the last time any of my friends really showed a song I didn't already know or was adequately good. Tho, I have to give Amelie some credit here, she constanly hits me with great Spanish tunes. (Also to Jasi and Safae which hit me up with some dope music from time to time) I mostly get inspiration from (sad to say but its true) tik tok or by randomly shazaming the world. I also really hate to limit myslfe to music i understand. On the contrary I LOVE LOVE LOVE music arround the world. Trust me i hear Tibetian Throat Singing to Russian Electro and even Islandic and Nativ American Tribal Music. To give you an impression of how important music consumption is for me:

Last Year i spent a total of 210 441 minutes on spotify alone. That is about 9 Hours a day. The average person uses Spotify for about 18 000 minutes a year. (My friend took the freedom to calculate how much money Spotify "looses" by my consumption. i pay $30 a year an Spotify gives $0,004891 per stream to the creator. An average of 3 minutes per song (70.000 streams) means spotify pays $342.37 to the creators. Thats $312.37 of deficit LOL)

Apart form that i cant really give Spotify a certain schedule when i listen to it cuz i listen to it all the time. During gaming, during coding, laundry, gym, work, class, before sleep. ✨Always✨

2. 💬 WhatsApp 💬

There is nothing better than sleeping for an eternity while everyone is already awake for probably 4 or more hours, working! *laughs in privileged design student* Since everyone is already living its live while I still drool, I gotta get up to date in the morning. Before i even leave bed, i checke my messages there. Similar to Spotify, I use WhatsApp the whole day and can't really tell when I would not use it. Except, my phone is always on silent (casual zennial phone call phobia) meaning i wont notice anything while zoning out or gaming (which usualy is the same).

3. 👨‍🏫 TEAMS 👩‍🏫

Yeah Yeah i can already hear it. "You wake up 5 minutes before class withouth breakfast or anything..." - bla bla bla. Yeah that is the case! I would usuly go on teams and enter the classroom, while preparing a breakfast (if you can call it breakfast after 12) sit down at my desk and listen to class. Causally everything that is too theoretical with music and whatsapp. Other classes that are interesting I`ll put my full attention to it.

But i hate teams in gerneral. Not cuz its sh**, no, usualy people that do their clases there have a weird way of using it. Finding material or looking up homeworks is such a struggle sometimes. (Props to you Kevin here, I have never seen anybody using teams in such a clean and struktured way than you do. Even tho you dont neccesarily use it as it was meant to be. (which might be the turning point on why its great))

4. 📺 YouTube 📺

Yup YouTube is usually the place to go after (sometimes during (I NEVER SAID THAT!)) class.

Actually, YouTube is the place to go for me. Relaxation, Entertainment, knowledge - anything! After class I'd usually watch "Cut" or other channels that produce let's plays or entertainment of some sort.

But it's also THE place to go during coding. I rather listen to Lofi or (Slowed, Reverbed) Music that doesnt really distract me. ALSO, during coding watch A SH*TLOAD OF TUTORIALS, cuz I am proud selftaught Zennial. #BestOfBothWorlds

5. 👨‍🍳 CHEFKOCH 👨‍🍳

I love to try new things and I constantly stalk the web for new recipes. Lately a lot of Asian and Vegan stuff. Chefkoch is the app to go where i also write down my own recipes to have them with me all the time. Great thing here is, i share this account with all my family members (currently 13, including my mom, aunts, other relatives). Great way to share the secret family recipes at any time!

(Cant recommend the recipe in the img, tho!)

6.🏐 ADDIDAS TRAINING🏐

Unlike all my sporty friends that used to hit the gym before covid and not got lazy, I started to use Training Apps like Addidas Training with its free Workout plans. I use it regularly and am happy i finally found a way to stay sporty.

7. ⌨️ VS CODE ⌨️

Its either Visual Studio Code, where I would code on my current project, or gaming. As mentioned above, I would get most of the inspiration from tutorials or using dev tools on different platforms.

8. 🎤 DISCORD 🎮

I´ll use Discord as a general term for Gaming since I play a lot but many different games, tho, always use discord to communicate with my freinds while gaming.

A great place to share random BS with friends and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I spent most of the evenings on Discord with my friends. Always did, in fact. Maybe the reason why I don't really feel so affected by the pandemic. I am used to being separated from my friends since they live all over Germany or the world in general. I always enjoy Online Live Events WITH my friends.

For me the web as always been a "with" not an "alone", which is why I never understand why so may struggle with feeling "alone" on live events online. JUST GRAB A FRIEND AND DISCOVER IT ✨TOGETHER✨!

9. 📼 DISNEY+ / NETFLIX 📼

Since I use both the same amount there is not thos or that. I never Really let anybody recommend me anything, cuz ... trust me, I WON'T watch it. IDK why that is, but I need a specific mood for each show. And nobody but myself can provide that. Probably why most ove the algorithms (esp Netflix) do not have an effect on me. I'm not in the mood for your ****, sorry!

Never the less, i periodically Binge a Series and then feel empty after it ended. Then i need some time to face reality again.

Funny tho, I binged Starwars Rebels on Disney+ and after it ended i just decide to buy 4 books on amazon that expand the story to starwars (#nerd i know). I will spend the next few months reading and probably not watching anything on both Streaming services.

10. 🤤 TIKTOK 🌈

... YUP.... I grew up with vine ... but TikTok got me. And honestly I don't regret it. It's the perfect algorithm that constantly finds the best videos that feed my thirsty queer ass. I mean ...

LOOK AT THE IMG ABOVE. YES, give me more....!

Its prolly not good for my digital wellbeing or my mental health but do I care at the moment..? noooooo...

Just give me more of Starwars Parodies, Sleepwalkers, Best off's of streamers, Queer content (cuz its time this heteronormativity world is fed with it! and no i do not indentify as anyting, im just the + at the very far end!) and yeah, even some sexy content if the creator feels good about it.

AND DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SIDE EYE OF JUDGEMENT HERE - WE ALL THIRST FROM TIME TO TIME!

TOODLES!