#since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever

[fear-no-mort]

favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this

[avaisnerdytoo]

What makes C-137 Rick different in the eyes of Evil Morty? A simple list.

I had this drafted around when the episode came out and I hadn't finished it, sooooo here you go heh:

This is arguably a pretty obvious set of answers, I'm not making any big deep dives here or anything, but I felt curious enough in wanting to see some kind of realized list of how many ways our Rick is different from his counterparts, specifically to the eyes of Evil Morty, that's to say, within the show, what kind of interactions have made Evil Morty slowly chip away in his absolute ideas about our Rick specifically.

Contains content since season 1, but mostly Season 7 due to the amount of interactions.

Bullet point is the actual list, indented is additional, but optional, context I deemed valuable:

C-137 Crying: Obviously the first would be Evil Morty - through Evil Rick - seeing our Rick cry when seeing baby Morty, even if we don't have that explained yet, this genuine care that shocked E-M this much was only reinforced in Season 7 when Rick, just before going to hunt Rick Prime told Morty he "couldn't go", evidently so that he stays safe.

This is extra reinforced when Evil Morty and Morty Prime join Rick against our big bad, E-M throws an insult right away expecting the reason for Rick's frustration to be "they did something cool and I didn't" (a jump cut), but no, C-137 only says... "You brought Morty???"

Evil Morty is a Morty registered within the Council's data base, he's been passed around, probably adopted by various Ricks, of whom clearly view that service as a tool to reinforce their detachments. Even if there is a petty and truly emotional reason underneath the existence of such a program, the Morties in those centers only see the very worst of Rick, because that's who they are paired up with, they only see how disposable they are every single time, time and time again.

C-137's respect of Evil Morty: Right away as S7EP5 begins, and E-M joins in with our duo, he's immediately greeted with what I am willing to bet is a different kind of attitude, one of respect. Rick is not dissmisive of Evil Morty, granted he knows his capabilities, however he even compliments Evil Morty on his journey to fucking off, a life style he very much enjoys - supposedly, but still - this is reinforced the moment Evil Morty suggests the modifications to the fracking machine, one which Rick takes notice of an implements right away, no insult attached interestingly enough.

That respect is also seen after Rick connects the dots with Evil Morty being responsible for hacking his Portal gun, back in Season 5, a detail which most Rick's would've arrogantly shrugged off by underestimating Morty. I am not saying respect can't be earned from other Ricks, after all he was president, but I am focusing the basis of this on Evil Morty's absolutist mindset regarding how Ricks are meant to be.

Teamwork: Although Rick points out the same logic we as the audience and fans did in theories prior to Season 7, regarding the assumption Evil Morty would hate Rick Prime more than our Rick because he's even worse, the actual teamwork simply plays out naturally, first through circumstance, but then by convenience. Nonetheless in each step Rick is once again cooperative with Evil Morty, treating him like an equal in a way that I think we haven't really ever seen before besides Beth, and sorta Summer.

I feel it's no small detail that E-M's first instinct after grabbing the Portal guns they were quickly tinkering with to escape the box was "don't freak out", the subsequent lack of freaking out also reinforces all of the shit I'm repeating myself on haha, again list of the obvious remember?

And finally the most obvious: C-137's goals are focused on avenging his Wife, as we well know. This singular detail already places him on a different bracket of existence as Rick's aren't meant to care for anyone other that themselves, even if this goal was the reason that fueled Rick's cooperation, signs of respect and more towards Evil Morty, he still did them... That would also technically place the other trapped Ricks, like Nerd Rick or James Bond Rick, as other challengers in Evil Morty's views.

This is how Evil Morty finally showed a crack in his absolutist views about Ricks.

•

"You are a little different, Rick..."

Maybe I can use that someday...

[hollowwhisperings]

Jojen is Fine, Actually: "Weirwood Paste" is Weirwood Paste.

CW: humanitarian diets, body horror, general blasphemy, mention of grooming (in the context of creepy tree wizards).

Okay so my being a HUGE Jojen (& House Reed in general) fan gives me an Obvious Bias against the idea of Jojen Dying Offscreen.

My being a huge literary nerd & lore geek, however, informs my Metaphor Senses that Jojen is Fine*, Actually.

The "Weirwood Paste" is Weirwood Paste: made of weirwood seeds, locally sourced. Said "Local Weirwood Tree" being. Y'know. Brynden Rivers.

It's Brynden Paste.

(*Fine: chronically ill, majorly depressed, freezing cold, surrounded by creepy tree people, stuck in a zombie wasteland, if he ever goes home he Dies, repeatedly dreaming of his own death... but, at least, Not Dead nor Being Eaten by the Prince of his Dreams? He's "Fine".)

First and foremost: storytelling conventions, even in a series as "deliberately unconventional" as ASOIAF, tend to tell audiences that NO ONE is genuinely "dead" until you see a body. And personally check its pulse. And test for rigor mortis. And maybe stab them in a lethal place, jusr to be Sure. And then burn the body, scatter its ashes, send couriers off in different directions to hide what remains in Remote Places never to be known of by the other couriers. Maybe Silence the couriers if they come back.

Er, you get the picture.

Most subscribers to "Jojenpaste" are in it for the lolz or assume The Worst due to Jojen's non-presence in the latest Bran chapters (aaand Jojen's being Very Permanently Dead in That Dragon Show). It's also an "easy" assumption that Since GRRM Is GRRM, any & all opportunities for Humanitarianism will be fully utilized.

Except... the weirwood paste is ALREADY "made of people" just because it's Weirwood (specifically, weirwood seeds) and the series has consistently described weirwood trees as "[human]".

Weirwood have "bone white" bark; they have Faces carved into them; they "Watch" and "Listen" and "Witness": this is consistent across POV characters, even before Jojen casually brings up "oh they're what Greenseers Become" or any meetings with a Literal Tree Man.

Weirwoods are described in human terms, doing human things, and at least 1 major character has been directly equivicated with Weirwoods for Plot Purposes: Ghost the Direwolf (and wolves, of course, are consistently used to mean "someone of House Stark" and the Starklings especially).

Then there is The Creepy Tree Man in the room: Brynden Rivers, called "Three-Eyed Raven" by Bran and Jojen (for that was how their Dreams interpreted him) or "The Last Greenseer" by the Singers (...despite BRAN very pointedly Being There To Prove Otherwise).

Brynden is also, as mentioned, a Tree Now.

A Weirwood Tree.

Y'know. Like the ones whose seeds make the Paste Bran's been eating.

So, unless the Singers have been sneaking about in Others' Territory to collect seeds from a different weirwood tree... that Paste is made of BRYNDEN.

Bran being fed "Brynden Paste' while Brynden Indoctrinates Teaches Bran to be a Tree Wizard makes far more sense, logistically & thematically, than Jojen getting shanked offscreen to belatedly be revealed to be "part of Bran all along".

For one thing, Meera would gladly set the Cave & everyone in it on fire if anyone so much as looks at her baby brother suspiciously. For another, Brynden is Right There for the eating & is filled with all sorts of Prophecy Juice: he's a Blackwood, he's a Targaryen, he's a Royal Bastard, he was an Infamous Spymaster with "A thousand eyes and one", he's done weird sacrifice BS before, he's a Greenseer (Jojen "only" has Greensight), he's a Living God (as per Singer & First Men Lore), the Cave Cult is trying to turn Bran INTO him...

There is a lot more "logic" to Bran's Magic Lessons featuring his knowingly (subconsciously, at least) eating Brynden than his secretly eating his friend. Human sacrifice tends to require Knowledge of the cost being paid & being Willing to do it anyway: Bran might be too tripped up on Paste to consciously connect the "Weirwood Paste" he eats with "that Human Weirwood Tree i'm sitting next to" but the Singers explicitly tell Bran the Paste is made from Weirwood Seeds. Bran "knows".

Godeating (metaphoric & literal) is a trope that is most commonly found in JRPGs, nowadays, but it has Precedent throughout western mythology: the Titan Kronus ate each of his children as they were born, Zeus alone escaping, in an effort to Dodge Prophecy; Zeus inherited Said Prophecy and, being his Father's Son, ate his first wife. The details of the Titanomachy (the War against the Titans by their reasonably upset kids) are Lost but Zeus, at least, gained all his Wife's Wisdom (& her pregnancy too) after eating her: Athena may or may not have Taken It Back upon breaking out from her Eaten Mother & Dear Old Dad.

Consuming something in order to "become" what is eaten is Fairly Common, if not with that specific phrasing: vampires seldom explain their reproduction as "eat me to become me", whilst the adorable Nintendo character Kirby & his method of Powering Up via Playing Vacuum, is Rephrased out of Sheer Self-Preservation (no one, not even I, likes to admit that The Cute Pink Blob is an Eldritch Abomination). Many JRPGs & works in eastern media use similar themes of "monster eats monster" and "let's eat god" for the purposes of High Stakes Action. Japan & East Asia has a lot less "baggage" when it comes to utilizing themes from Abrahamic verse, meaning that western works using themes of [consuming the divine] and [apotheosis] use Vampire Methodology. Such is the case in the Dragon Age series & its Order of Grey Wardens (who are, From A Certain POV, dragon god vampires).

Within the ASOIAF series itself, Dany's eating a horse heart (raw) has Humanitarian Themes in service of Prophecy and [Divinity]: the horse heart to the Dothraki, a society of horselords, could be what weirwood seeds are to First Men (especially given Jojen's whole "btw, the trees are gods are former greenseers").

Brynden & the Cave's Singers (whom I dearly hope are some long-exiled Cult & not reflective of Singers as a whole) are not particularly subtle in their Intentions for Bran: he is to be their New "Last" Greenseer. Bran is to Become Brynden or Brynden is to Become Bran: either and possibly both are plausible, though how compliant with the Singers' goals Brynden may be has yet to be revealed.

(the Brynden of F&B and D&E strikes me as someone who would gladly bodysnatch some poor kid for his own Agenda: the Singers seem unlikely to support fire-breathing foreigners, not without a Contingency Plan; somewhat likely to want Bran for the purposes of installing a Tree Hivemind Police State; and maybe, possibly... "just" wanting a Second God for their Cult in Bran, who probably Smells Better).

SUMMARY

Weirwoods are Personified in almost every appearance. Weirwood Trees are considered Gods. Jojen (& some Singers) have stated that the Next Evolutionary Phase of a Greenseer is "Weirwood Tree". Brynden "the Last Greenseer" is part of a Weirwood Tree.

Brynden & the Singers are Turning Bran Into A Weirwood Tree.

Bran's current diet is Tree Paste. His magic teacher, Brynden, is Part-Tree. The Nearest Tree to make Paste from is Brynden. The Paste is made of Brynden.

(Let's NOT think too hard on which parts of Brynden: I've only gotten this far in this Meta by using "Hunanitarian" as a pun.)

Eating Gods to Become A God is an existing Trope. Brynden is a God, by Singer & First Men definitions. Bran is being Groomed to Become Brynden, a God. To Become Brynden, Bran must Eat Brynden.

TL;DR

The Weirwood Paste is Weirwood Paste and Brynden is the Weirwood: the Paste is not "Jojen", it's BRYNDEN.

Jojen is Not Paste: Jojen is Alive but Not Well & Very Depressed.

[sapherin]

Today marks the two year anniversary of me endlessly stanning Eusine and Morty by complete accident of me googling “Ecruteak City”. Thank you sacredshipping for being the best thing to happen to my artistic career.

⭐️🤍💛🧡❤️ 🩷 🎈💚💙💜🤎🖤⭐️

You clicked on this and now you will be subjected to my backstory and feelings with this ship. (If you asked why I like this ship elsewhere there’s barely anything new here sorry lol)

When this couple had its heyday on Bulbagarden forums ~12 years ago I absolutely did not care for them. I didn't get the appeal whatsoever, I thought they were both own'd losers who were just friends and nothing more. I did think they had some cool fanart but that was it. Silver in any iteration was my favorite Johto character at the time and I was all into Silver/Lyra or Ethan or PreciousMetalshipping, the last ship being my goto ship to make my whole personality at the time. Nothing about them really "clicked" to me until I started watching HGSS longplays for PleinAirpril references back in 2021. Somehow just the mere image of seeing them together in the Burned Tower and thinking about Eusine and Morty for more than 5 seconds was enough to make go "oh shit they're gay." And lo and behold I'm stuck here 2 years later stanning this damn ship. I mean that last sentence in the most cheeky way possible since it's obvious at this point that MinaMatsu/Sacredshipping makes me so happy and I want to draw them forever. I got to do so many fun new things with my art and meet so many kind people because of my crazy dedication to them...I owe a lot to them.

I guess what really makes MinaMatsu work for me is the fact they're essentially the same character. They both start out confident in achieving their goals, get their egos put in check by the player (Eusine just refuses to lose right away) and ultimately fail to obtain their goal. Obviously what makes them fun is their opposing personalities. Morty takes a more passive, introverted approach to meeting Ho-oh with his secret training believing he can become the person that is worthy of it. One day he'll become the strongest and coolest Ghost-type trainer to have ever live and Ho-oh will go "wow he's so cool" and swoop down from the heavens before him. Meanwhile Eusine decides he's already worthy of Suicune, will show the entirety of Johto and Kanto his fixation of it, and will chase it down and give it no choice but to chose him. No one else had his undying dedication to track down Suicune, did they? No need to train like Morty does, Eusine got all of the worthiness in the world. They have clashing personalities and yet they're still good friends which is so sweet. It's just so heartwarming to see men with similar goals and different perspectives on how to obtain that goal just get along and enjoy each other's company. Perfect harmonious duality. I'm not going to go too much into how I see others interpret them but when I see people headcanon them as rivals or them secretly not liking each other (groan) because of how they behave I'm just like...why. If you want a rival-to-lovers m/m relationship in pokemon, Reguri and Raihan x Leon is Right There. That's a whole new ship. Morty never says anything demeaning about Eusine’s endeavors or Eusine himself in his in-game calls to the player. (No, Morty saying he doesn't care for Suicune that much unlike Eusine doesn't count.) Morty literally leaves his place of work to be with Eusine in the Burned Tower. Clair has definitely yelled at him for that. That's not "he secretly hates Eusine" behavior y'all but I actually played the games so idk.

Ok ok back on topic now that I pissed off somebody out there. I just love how they're both mystical freaks. Morty having this supernatural connection to Ghost-type Pokemon and his strange abilities to foresee possible futures and communicating to ghosts just makes him an easy character for me to fall in love with. Weirdo probably hangs out more without dead people than living ones. Eusine being...Like That and his bottomless desire to research every aspect of Ecruteak City's past and be Suicune's friend is also fun to watch. Suicune please say Eusine is cool its what Granddaddy Eusine would want. Masters EX does confirm that Morty once lived in a sheltered world and didn't have many friends - must be hard when you're the freak of the week - so it's possible that Eusine is the person he's closest to. And why wouldn't he be? They both otherworldly guys that chased a lifelong dream and failed, but at the end of it all they still have each other. It's a nice touch that the HGSS credits have them walking together chasing (presumably) another Suicune...they'll probably never give up on anything as long as they have each other. Their dreams will never turn into nightmares when they're together.

Like a perfect couple they complete each other...if they melted and fused together they'll be the gayest most powerful mystical freak that both Ho-oh and Suicune would have to recognize as worthy. I don't know where that thought came from but I'm keeping it. They're puzzle pieces I guess is what I'm getting at. I could go into how cute they are in Pokespe, the gay anime episode, and how Masters EX basically confirmed Morty idolized Eusine more than anybody (I think I rather wait until Eusine get implemented before I dive into that), and how Fall Morty is the both the worst and best possible thing to ever happen to me since his design alone immortalized my MinaMatsu mania but I'm keeping this babble as short as possible and ending it here.

I just want a give a big thank you those who drew this ship for me whether it be gift art, art trades or commissions...I want to make a silly little booklet or some type of showcase page with all the art you lot have given me. I haven't set my mind on anything just yet. I cherish everything here so much.

Counterclockwise from Top Left to Bottom Right - @/nitunio, @/ghoasttoasties, @/lalalettie on Twitter, @/plushiesnextdoor on IG, and @/northernmei on IG Uhhhh I should leave you with a little something for reading all of that junk…here’s a little preview of what I got in the works 

Ok that’s it bye I should log out

[undiscovered-horizon]

Dating Bradley Bradshaw

Let's be honest, you're the popular couple

Funny story actually because initially both of you thought that the other one is way out of your league

You were classified as "married" even before getting married

Popular enough that people came up with a name for you - "The Chicken Coop"

Bradley's the type of guy to serenade you at any time for any reason

"The cool uncle"

There's a pretty impressively large group of people already fed up with Rooster boasting about "his girl"

"She has a degree in something I have no idea about but it's cool af"

A bit hard-headed, needs a moment to work up the apology

This means that he has at least once knocked on your door at 3AM with flowers

Normally you call him Roos or Bradley, "Bradshaw" is reserved for when things get serious both in a good and a bad way

He calls you Sunshine

Sundays are waffle days

Bradley always has his hand on or around you

In your college graduation picture, you're sitting on his shoulders

Your parents like him so much they are very upfront about their wish for you to marry him

Likes to be a bit over the top to impress you

But doesn't shy away from being embarrassingly silly to make you laugh

Fridge is covered in polaroids from your road trips and postcards he sends from deployment

His neck can go stiff from leaning down so he sits you on the counter/table to have your face at his level

Puts things just out of your reach that you have to ask him for help but it doesn't look too obvious it's his doing

If you fall asleep on the couch or in the car, he carries you to bed

You brought him once a bracelet from a trip abroad and he wears it as a good luck charm when he's flying

Doesn't like scented candles but because you like them he started to hate the lack of them

Maverick and the Dagger Crew™️ like to call you "Mrs. Bradshaw" just to tease you

Ever since you two got together, Bradley's rendition of Great Balls of Fire sounds slightly different, although no one can quite tell why

He's the definition of "dead asleep" because his hold on you might just be rigor mortis

More often than not you wake up sweaty with the weight of none other than Bradley Bradshaw pressing you into the mattress, which doesn't help in the Californian heat

You often wear his Hawaiian shirts and he can't get enough of that view

Honestly, you could wear a trashbag and Bradley would act as if you're a model from the cover of Vogue

Because of the stories about military wives cheating on their husbands as soon as deployment starts, some people have suggested that, maybe, you are like that too

It's something you and Bradley still laugh about because that's just ridiculous

Speaking of that, the two of you are very secure in the relationship so someone flirting with either of you leaves you unaffected

You definitely have a scoreboard of "The Most Cringy Line Someone Actually Tried"

That is, unless someone lays a hand on you

Has Bradley started a fistfight because someone got grabby? For legal reasons I can neither confirm nor deny that

Corny jokes and bad pick-up lines to make you laugh when you're upset

He has made a top-tier list of your chapsticks, lipsticks and glosses based on their taste

Matching colours when you're going out together

Bradley's a dork

You: Can you help me with the zipper? Rooster: Sure You: ... You: UP, Bradley Rooster: Right, obviously

Definitely wants to be a father but is anxious about his fitness for that role

If your kid calls Maverick "Uncle Pete" the old man might just cry

Black and white movies

Slow dancing even without music

Sometimes he thinks to himself whether he should shave off the moustache, just to change things up a little

But then you giggle and squirm feeling it brush against your skin and if there's one thing he will never do it's shaving off the moustache

There's always ice cream in the freezer

Watching musicals together

Absolute mayhem with water guns or Nerf guns

Handfeeding each other

Sharing snacks

If you're tired after a day/night out, there are only two options: Bradley carries either you or your bag

The type of guy to absolutely love the fact that you're comfortable enough around him to not always be dolphin smooth shaved or wearing well-thought-out outfits

Says "I love you" just before you fall asleep

Always cradles your face when he kisses you

Wandering hands caressing your skin

If you wear glasses, he's always carrying glass wipes

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

What do you think is going to happen in the season seven finale?

Firstly, thank you for sending this and sorry it took so long to answer! I’m struggling to find the time to interact in this fandom the way I used to unfortunately. Answer under the cut because I am incapable of being either brief or concise 😅

I think it’s hard for me to distinguish between what I want to happen and what I think will happen so this answer might end up being a bit of both 😅

I think that the ending scene is going to be very hard hitting, since we’ve seen the trend develop over the seasons from the initial ‘haha funny’ drunken Rick rant while Morty suffers, to both Rick and Morty being equally excited, to Rick starting to realise he’s shitty and to heal, and finally back full circle to having Rick drunkenly rant at an unenthusiastic Morty but this time played straight and with Morty realising the horror of Rick’s abuse but still not being able to break free.

I’ve seen people mention the idea of having an equivalent ending scene with Prime and Morty instead of C-137 and Morty which I think would be very interesting, especially if we do get more exploration of Morty’s character and his perspective on his relationship with Rick in the broader sense of Ricks in general, rather than just with C-137. I think the show does a very good job of using sci fi concepts such as clones or different dimensions to explore characters and their relationships and I think it would be very cool to have this with Morty and Prime. However, I don’t know if the Prime stuff will develop that quickly, especially if he’s intended to be the big bad of the latter half of the whole series. Equally, Prime could turn out to be only a small piece of the bigger puzzle and maybe he’ll become relatively insignificant compared to other plot elements. Only time will tell I guess.

I think the most common complaint about S6 (from this corner of the fanbase at least) was the lack of Morty, so I hope this is something that gets addressed in S7 and that his character gets a turn in the limelight. At the same time, I appreciate that the show is trying their best to build off of pre-existing canon but also to complete a big tonal shift so I have faith that Morty will get his time to shine, especially since his dynamic with Rick was explored more in the final two episodes (and at the end of Analyse Piss). I definitely want to see the complexities of Morty’s feelings towards Rick and his family as a whole and I’m excited in particular for the Morty and Summer episode that seems to be about the mindblowers - we haven’t really had an exploration of the way Morty feels about Summer getting all these privileges. After all, he’s always tried to protect Summer from Rick and be a good brother despite being the youngest but now Summer is working with Rick and becoming like him. She also has that sort of power over him when it comes to the mindblowers, which is played for laughs in the episode itself but I’m interested to see them explore the darker side of this - after all, Summer is aiding Rick with editing Morty’s memory, and she clearly has a fair bit of power and control over this, given that Rick trusts her to restore both of their memories and wander down there at her leisure. Morty’s Mindblowers definitely marks a whole new era of Rick’s manipulation of Morty, where we start to truly see just how much Rick is deliberately and intentionally controlling Morty’s perceptions and memories.  I’ve spoken before with @hazelnut-u-out about how mindblowing is very much a metaphor for gaslighting - Rick is influencing what Morty remembers and how he remembers it, not only removing memories he doesn’t want but even editing them so Morty has no hope of ever getting the true memory back even if Rick does allow him to keep any of the memories permanently. It’s not hard to draw the parallel between this and the way that trauma can permanently shape the way you view things, even if you are able to remember them or process them. However, Summer is clearly aware of this and seemingly makes no effort to stop it or tell Morty. Obviously she is also being manipulated by Rick (‘I don’t get paid enough for this shit’), but she’s still involved and I can imagine that affecting their relationship a lot. I would like to hope that this episode has Summer choosing to tell Morty and trying to heal, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds the room accidentally and is discovered by her instead of Rick, or maybe they’re forced to take shelter from something and Summer takes them into the mindblowers room since it’s the only safe place, leading Morty to question how she knows the room exists and has a key to it.

On a lighter note, we had better see Birdperson again (and hopefully his daughter). I would definitely love Rick having to help look after her and she absolutely hates him.

I’m very excited for S7 and I wonder how much my thoughts on this will change when the trailer drops Monday but these are my thoughts for now!

[advnterccs]

@countlessrealities sent; Morty remembered how nervous he had been the previous year, on that very same night. He was feeling restless right now too, but the nervous energy that coursed through his body was of a very different kind. Last time he had been anxious and eager, scared and hopeful. In that moment, instead, he was first and foremost excited.

It was hard to believe that a whole year had passed since he had asked his counterpart to be his boyfriend. A whole year of them going steady, with their relationship running smoothly. There had been a hiccup here and there, but nothing they hadn't been able to overcome. It felt impossible, like a dream too good to be true. And yet there they were. Together, as close as ever, and in love.

The last thought caused Morty's cheeks to heat up and he hurried towards his other self, so that they could steal a private moment before midnight. He was carrying a package, held close to his chest, wrapped in yellow and green paper. They had just exchanged Christmas gifts, but he had still wanted to get his boyfriend a little something. It was their anniversary after all.

Once they were away from prying eyes, he stopped so that they could face each other and he offered the gift to his other self.

"I-It's not much, but, uh, I-I hope you like it," he said, a little nervously, rubbing the back of his neck once his hands were freed. "I-I made it myself."

The present was a photo album, filled with exactly 365 pictures of the two of them, mostly alone, but the Ricks appeared in some of them too, and so did the rest of their families. On the cover, with a yellow heart as background, a green inscription stood out.

"One picture for every day of us, this years and for all the others to come."

A small, shy smile curled his lips as the time for the countdown grew closer. "I-I love you, FM," he spoke quietly, leaning in, hazel eyes sparkling with adoration. "F-For all our two hundreds years an-and forever after them."

[[ my Morty for your Morty || Yes, he got him a little gift too! x3 ]]

Morty couldn't believe that a whole year had passed by. Just this time last year, he was nervous and worried that his confession wouldn't be reciprocated. And now, he couldn't have been anymore happier than he was right now.

To be with the one boy that he loved so much. For a whole year. It was as if time flew by fast. As if it was just yesterday they were sharing that kiss at midnight. That spectacular one that felt as if mini fireworks were shooting out of his body and into the air with the rest of them.

Being approached by his counterpart, he had a dreamy look in his eye, lovestruck and glued onto that handsome face. No one else around them registered in his mind. It's as if he only saw him.

So when they were alone together, he didn't even realize how truly alone they were.

His eyes spotted the package and he took it. Carefully unwrapping it from the paper. Revealing the photo album and the inscription on it.

A softened glow came to his eyes. So full of wonder and adoration. As he opened up the album and flipped through the many pictures. All of their memories of the year leading up to this point. Well, all except one.

"H-Hold on, I'll be right back," He handed off the photo album to his counterpart and left to go towards his room.

It would only be a second until he came back and pulled his boyfriend to follow him outside. Where fireworks were already going off to celebrate the new year. Now within his hand a polaroid camera.

Without any warning, he kissed his counterpart, aiming the camera at the both of them. Some fireworks shot up at the same time, presenting in the background of the photo.

Pulling away, he looked into those hazel eyes. "I-I love you too, FM, so much, y-you're everything that I ever could have dreamed of," He dropped the camera but kept the photo in his hands, wrapping both of his arms around that neck. "A-And you made this year a lot better for me, so l-let's hope next year is just as great!!"

[countlessrealities]

@thcpresidcnt sent: { To your E-Morty from my E-Morty xD }

This morning when he woke up, Morty hadn't really expected to receive such a thoughtful gift and letter. It was the last thing on his mind that he would ever get. Which only prompted him to, instead of sending it over secretly, to bring the one he planned out for his counterpart directly to him.

Going through the portal, passing through security, and he managed to slip into the office while it was still empty. Perfect.

It was a little cliché and perhaps looked as if it were taken straight from a movie, but he didn't care. He wanted to catch his other self off guard and this seemed like a good way to do it.

Sat on the desk, one knee crossed over the other, a box of assorted cookies on his lap. He stayed in that position. Long enough until the other would come in.

For the occasion, he also decided to dress up. He wore his best blazer, colored a very dark grey with match fitted slacks. Underneath, a silk black, buttoned-up shirt and a light grey tie.

And once he heard that door click open, he smirked. "H-Happy Birthday, other me, I-I suppose I'm your gift for this evening~"

Since, from what everyone who wasn't him and his second-in-command knew, that day was no different from any other, Morty got held up on his way to his office as it happened more often than not, no matter how vexing the fact was. There were always more questions, more urgent papers, more needed orders, more matters to settle.

He had faced it all with a charming smile, of course, as it always did, but on the inside it left him seething with annoyance. Running the Citadel was demanding enough without everyone refusing to develop the smallest brain so that they could do their job properly.

Eventually, he had excused himself with a pretext, leaving his second-in-command to guard the corridor that led to his office, to make sure that no one would have followed. Having his original Rick around was almost a torture for him, but it also came with undeniable advantages. For example, the man scared the shit out of Mortys and Ricks alike so much that no one dared to defy him.

That last thought brought the hint of a smug smirk on the president's face. It might have been the man's doing, but he was his master. Any accomplishment that Rick achieved was Morty's own victory.

The self-satisfied expression, however, didn't last long. The moment the teen opened the door, revealing the unexpected sight that was waiting for him inside, his grin fell and his features twisted into something akin to shock. He had been expecting his counterpart to show up at some point, but definitely not in this fashion.

Morty remained frozen in the threshold, hand still gripping at the handle, for a few seconds, even after his counterpart had spoken his teasing words. Later on, he would have felt like an idiot for having let that little trick get to him so much, but in the moment he was too stunned to do anything else.

Amber eyes quickly swept down and up along his other self's figure, taking in the obviously carefully selected outfit, before locking on the box of cookies set in his counterpart's lap. He had to give it to the other, he had managed to make quite the impression. Scared a point in their never-ending game. He had fairly and skillfully won it.

However, that didn't mean that Morty wouldn't have retaliated.

His posture shifted visibly as he composed himself, regaining his composure and confidence. He finally closed the door behind him and then, without hesitation, he stalked towards the desk, stopping only once he was right in front of his other self.

"I assume that you received my gift," he started, leaning enough to cause their legs to brush. The smile on his lips was friendly, but the look in his eyes was deadly. "I hope it was of your liking."

One of his hands fell down, casually landing on the box of cookies. His fingers danced over it for a few moments, before moving to open it.

"So, you are what I get in return for it?" He went on, his tone still conversational despite the look in his eyes remaining sharp. "I guess I had worse gifts."

His lips twitched in a smirk, as he leant in, bringing their faces closer and closer, until they were less than an inch apart.

"And it would be rude not to accept and treasure such a thoughtful gift," he whispered, eyes falling half lidded. "Happy birthday to you, other me."

He inched closer, slowly but steadily, and then...He pressed the cookie he had retrieved from the box against his counterpart's mouth.

"We can share these," Morty spoke up again, straightening and moving backwards until an almost proper distance was left between them. "I'll make us dinner and we can eat them for dessert."

[littlealeta]

Rick's growing this, Rick's character developing that. Have you ever heard of Character Derailment? I'm just asking because I just found out about this and am reading up on it and omg does this fit PERFECTLY with how these characters have been treated in this goddamn show since season freaking 3. Because character development from what I seen is usually the gradual change of a character, sometimes it even involves a devastating consequence that makes the character feel so much remorse that they have to fix their mistakes and themselves. And Rick has the worst character development I ever seen like I don't remember even seeing character development as rushed and contrived as Rick's and I'm saying this as someone who watches a bunch of MOVIES. MOVIES FOR KIDS MORESO. This is a tv show and Rick has already went through changes that usually isn't seen in someone until toward the end of the story. I've seen character assassination but whatever the mess is that the show is treating as "growth"? Wtf is that bs?

Heel-face Turn (when poorly executed) that completely fits Rick. He hung out with some damn crows and all of a sudden is somehow okay with somebody teaching him empathy? AFTER CONSTANTLY TRYING TO AVOID THERAPY AND PUSHING AWAY A SUPPORT SYSTEM IN TONY AND EVEN INITIALLY REJECTING THE CROWS FOR TEACHING HIM EMPATHY? He's more problematically meek toward Morty and Summer even when they're misbehaving or knowing that his meek actions could cause consequences (which has been happening since season 5 but is more emphasized here), being less depressed and drinking less, and apologizing and being overall buddy buddy with Jerry? Rick no longer afraid to show kindness and love to people despite the possibilities of the universe taking them away? Everyone else, he still acts like Rick but this doesn't make it any better. Derailed characters can still retain certain traits that they had before, they're just 180'd all of a sudden in certain traits out of nowhere.

Now let's look at seasons 1-2 before they screwed him over in season 3 by making him more psychopathic than ever. Rick warming up to Summer and helps her beat the devil and allowing her to join the team? Starting to spend more normal time with his grandchildren instead of constant dangerous adventures like watching tv and playing? Rick allegedly helping Morty with his science homework a bit after rebuffing him iirc? Rick hugging and admitting to his grandchildren (with denial but still) that he loves them instead of rebuffing them and calling Morty a human shield? Rick deciding to stop running away from his problems once reality hits him and he is on the run and actually do something that doesn't benefit himself that gets royally screwed over in the season 3 premiere? While also still being a selfish, morally questionable, cocky, hotheaded, insulting butthole? THAT'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. It's gradual, it's more well paced, and it's realistic to how trauma survivors and buttholes actually heal. And it didn't use a stupid two crows bs, it just had to have Rick bond with his grandchildren more before taking a liking to them and wanting to do more with them than just his twisted fantasies of what he wants. He's grown an attachment to his family enough to start caring about what's best for them instead of what's best for him. But of course y'all ignore it because it's more subtle and not your idealistic fantasies of 180 changes. And not to mention we've seen several times before the dumb crow crap Rick feeling sorry for himself for being so terrible but he stays the same. Because he doesn't know how to change. Because he isn't getting the help he needs and that's REALISTIC. So why are two crows the thing to change Rick?

You over here accusing others of toxic dudebros wanting Rick to be a butthole and idiolizing Rick but that's not the frigging point here. We're talking from a writing standpoint that you guys don't understand. Rick being a quirky, hyper, bubbly, no-nonsense butthole was how the story started and that's what the original creators envisioned before fake fans like Scott Marder came in and ruined it with his idealistic fanfiction of what he wants the show to be. Now it's a very different show like the other crap didn't happen. I think you just like it because not only will you Rick and Morty fans take almost anything that's not inc*st but because you idealize that sort of thing. You wish for that kind of thing for yourself and for other people. We all wish that two magical crows would come down and change us into better people but that's not what freaking happens. This is what sucks about this whole thing. What I would've preferred is not do a freaking transition episode like the two-part season 5 finale to get Rick and Morty's dynamic back to when it was less toxic in the first two seasons. Just pretend seasons 3-5 never happened and get Rick back to being a quirky, hyperactive, cheerful dude and Morty back to being an innocent, naive, normal child instead of two miserable edgelords fighting over bs. Actually have a REAL consequence similar to the wedding situation that causes Rick to finally decide he needs to change. If you hadn't focused on this stupid crap of Morty being more and more like Rick while Rick is the other way around, you could've had a plot where Morty get fed up with Rick, takes the portal gun, and leaves, maybe getting into trouble, causing Rick to freak out enough to when he reconciles with him, that he wants to change to prevent this from ever happening again.

Character development is not Rick losing his quirks, no-nonsense agency, and charisma to become an empty shell of his former self. Character development is not two crows coming to magically change someone in a snap of a finger. Character development is not abruptly throwing away Morty's arc and becoming pathetically needy towards Rick. Rick is in a toxic family, he deserves to stand up for himself and not be the meek little idiot he is now.

Character development can be negative and we can see Morty and even Summer becoming more and more angrier and crueler but they were gradual. Morty over the course of the entire series is seen getting angrier and more defiant of Rick but didn't get edgy until season 3.

Maybe this is leading to something. Maybe this is signifying Rick's story is about to end or something huge is coming up that could break or regress Rick. Hopefully it's one of these things because this is ridiculously eerie. But whatever happens, it's not going to excuse how shoddily they have treated Rick.

[thanakite]

Spoilers for Rick and Morty season 5 beyond this point, not tagging because I am avoiding a very specific part of the fandom

I am so deeply curious about Birdperson, and we know so little it is frustrating

For one, do other Ricks (specifically the ones not directly tied to C-137's own timeline at the point he met him because of course they would) even have a Birdperson? Rick has a very specific and largely individual it seems (before that point) backstory, like there didn't seem to be other Ricks killing Ricks unless like something specific happened, not the killing every Rick they got their hands on that C-137 did, and generally they don't seem like their wife was killed, more like she either left him or he left and never went back, but that is why Rick and Birdperson met and why they became closer friends (since he helped Rick kill some other Ricks and he in turn agreed to help Birdperson with his stuff)

That leads to Rick fighting the Gromflomites, which moderately begs the question of if the others have much to do with the Gromflomites and if they do is it because of C-137, them all choosing to fight for different reasons and causing constant issues with them, or are he and Birdperson like soulmates where they (almost) always end up meeting and and Ricks choose to help him with the Gromflomites most of the time?

When he was saving Birdperson in season 5 his AI suggests grabbing another him from another dimension but Rick refuses because "that isn't how this works" which brings up 2 questions, the first being that this suggests that they do each have their own Birdperson or that he was going to jump to a connected timeline that was moving slower started later or whatever and take him, so he had the right memories but was at an earlier point before he was made Phoenixperson (otherwise there would still be a lot of bullshit to fix when he already fix Birdperson), leading to the question of can he access timelines that are the same but started later so they are not yet at the wedding or whatever? Because there are a lot of implications that could have within the show (if only that it could be an easy explanation for why those that aren't being refreshed by Rick bullshit regularly like both Rick and Morty aren't ageing) and the second being does that mean that this Birdperson is from his original universe, that the original Beth he settled in with was in the universe where he met Birdperson which is why he chose her, is this Birdperson not actually in their current universe since that had to move at least once, is it something else entirety? (I'm not letting this be a throw away thing)

Morty ends up with Birdperson at one point and sees he has a picture of Rick holding what could be him or any other Morty, when would that have been taken? Rick only "came back into their lives" less than a year before the show started, which is when he settled in with an adult Beth that wasn't his own since his was dead and died as a child (so of course no Morty), so at minimum C-137 wouldn't have likely been around Morty as a baby, and yet also has memories of a baby Morty, so when is it from? (Very good chance that it was a Morty baby at the Citadel since he helped build it and they became their own "Morty-Mart" not the Morty he hangs out with) but also why would Birdperson have it at all? His memories seem to imply that they didn't really see much of each other after the Battle of Blood Ridge so why would Rick send him a photo of him with a baby grandson (possible clone) that he wouldn't have interacted with when Morty was a baby?

So many questions and who knows if we will ever get answers since that is "Serialized drama"

[obsessiveyand]

Other Ricks

TW/ Kidnapping, Abuse, etc

🎶🚀Play Dirty - Kevin McAllister🚀🎶

At some point Rick decides to take Sasha and Morty to the citadel to make a deal with another Rick for some off the market crystals to help a device he was working on. Morty voiced how it would be cool to show Sasha the other Morties and Sasha thought it would be fun to see a bunch of Ricks running around. Rick however was extremely reluctant for multiple reasons, but in the end gave in to the two and their pleas and brought her along.

This will turn out to be one of the worse decisions Sasha had ever made. Whether it was unknown to Rick about the relationships between other dimensional Sashas and Ricks or he simply didn't care, Maybe because he was so confident in himself, for any of these reasons it didn't end well.

The Trip went quite fine, Rick got what he wanted, Sasha had to curve a couple handsy Ricks and Morty got to show Sasha some of the other Morties he met during his visits at the Citadel, so all an all it was good, Rick made jokes about Sasha not being able to handle all the Ricks walking around and Sasha would just laugh.

However unfortunately for them, the attention was now on Rick c137 and his Sasha. Since not every Rick gets one, nor keeps one for long, Rick definitely made the wrong choice letting her come along. Flash forward 2 months later and an unknown group of Ricks, who have dedicated most of their time to Sasha experiments decide its time to see what makes C137s Sasha tick.

Its during that time that Sasha unknowingly leaves the Smiths house with a Rick that isn't hers. Instantly realizing this wasn't her Rick as soon as they stepped through the portal, but it was too late, Sasha was now in the hands of a group of Ricks who were nothing like her own. Would she survive this ordeal until her Rick could find her?

She was placed in a small metal room, and traumatizing for her it was filled with dead Sashas, all different, a lot the same, but all her. This traumatized Sasha among with other things that was done to her. (Won't go into too much detail here its.. violent.)

It didn't take long for Rick to track her down even though by the time he found her the damage had been done. Morty also experienced something traumatizing during their search, He meets a Sasha pinned down to a table, entire body opened up and being kept alive by a machine, This Sasha begs Morty for death, saying she could never ask Rick to do it, and Morty had to be the one to give her release. Not before telling Morty all about the things done to Sashas, How none of them live long after meeting a Rick. Morty sadly and traumatically kills the Sasha before finding the his and Ricks, Sasha. Rick ends up mind blowing Morty so he forgets all about the broken Sasha he spoke too. It was too much for Morty.

Rick kills the other Ricks in a battle Royale, barely making it out himself, and destroys their base before leaving through the Portal with Sasha and Morty. Sasha is in so much pain, every breath pains her, every movement shoots needles through her spine, she cries to Rick who lays her on a table in the garage, Scanning her he finds out they completely destroy Sashas insides, moved things around, replaced organs with machine parts, took some out, it was a miracle she was even still alive at that point. This causes Rick to sedate Sasha and retrieve Beth, who is a surgeon, horse or not, To come help reconstruct her organs and put everything back, having to clone a few organs during this after some time Rick and Beth manage to put everything back the way it should be.

This leaves Sasha in an coma for so many days, dealing with the trauma of what happened plus the pain of basically being deconstructed and than reconstructed. This is one of the first times Rick shows his true feelings for Sasha.

Needless to say, Rick never takes her to the citadel again, and neither her nor Morty request it.

[mcjeanalds]

in history class rn its bloggin time baeby

lets do some headcanons since my last one did SO FUCKING WELL ILY GUYS

~~~

- hange is a die-hard samsung user and levi always bullies them for the camera quality

- armin has been in a gender identity crisis for a while and wants to experiment with different pronouns n shit (and we love that!)

- erwin is a h oh my god if my history teacher doesnt put on her mask i stg

- erwin is a huge fan of vinyl records and has one of those crates just filled with classic rock vinyls

- connie can do voice impressions but really weird ones, like morty from rick and morty or eric cartman from south park

- mikasa does eren's eyebrows, and she's the only one eren will let touch them

- levi has glasses for when he reads n shit, but they're the black square-ish ones and he doesn't push them all the way up and it's sexy

- jean can't drink boba because he chokes on the bubbles and sasha always spits them at him through her straw

- mikasa journals her emotions n shit, but she also draws very emotional and dark sketches in the journal too (but they look sick asf and she's actually super talented)

- armin has watched the entire twilight series and didn't hate it, and he's is so upset with himself for not hating it

- levi has the highest spice tolerance ever, like it takes like a 100,000 on the scoville unit for him to even feel something

- hange will visit people just for their pets, but obviously won't tell people that's why they're visiting

- eren's the kind of person who always has to have more followers than people he's following, and it has to be a decently big difference like 50 people or more

- hange will just like.., snack on cheese. and i mean like slices of american cheese or the little mozzarella cheese balls

- much like myself, jean gets random memes in spanish on his explore page. both myself and jean do not speak spanish (at least i don't think he does, i just know i don't)

- sasha has like 17,000 flannels, like she's got the whole rainbow and more, and she wears every single one

- erwin smells like one of those pine tree air fresheners. he doesn't even use one he just smells like it

- connie wanted to shave a design in his hair, like how drake shaved the heart, but absolutely everyone told him no

- we all know levi doesn't sleep, but neither does mikasa and they'll just reach out to each other like "are you up" "yeah" "i'm getting water do you want anything" "you're literally in a different city" (you can decide who's who in that example)

- though sasha eats everything with no hesitation, she won't eat out of a styrofoam container. she hates literally every single aspect about styrofoam

- eren gets so aggressive when it comes to video games. is he one of those "you wouldn't survive a cod lobby" guys? no, but he will scream and insult people

- armin is the victim of deez nuts/ur mom jokes. hange and connie are the ones that make the jokes

~~~

yas that's it enjoy my little cockatoos

sincerely,

mcjeanalds

ps i would love to see some of these things drawn, i absolutely adore aot art so if you wanna draw out any of these for visuals, please go ahead and show me!!!!!

[ratofthemedievalsewers]

Heart of Steel - Part I

DBH Connor x Male Reader

Word Count: 2.5K+

Content warning: Minor injury detail, PTSD, language

Original game dialogue I got from this video:

https://youtu.be/32Np9LKI1Vg

We were attacked in the night.

After returning from a mission back to an outpost several miles from the red zone, we removed our gear save for a few pouches on our belts we could bother with later. Our team leader set up a fire while the SQ800s, CyberLife commissioned combat androids, began loading up the trucks with extra artillery and resources. A job that could have waited until morning, but Alpha always gave the androids something to do. He said that they creeped him out when they would just stand there in a dormant state, waiting for their next mission to be given to them.

"You know what I'm going to do when I get home?"

"Here we go again."

"I'm going to get me a WR400," Foxtrot; not everyone's favourite but he certainly kept us entertained when there was nothing to do.

"Uh-huh and with what money are you going to be using to pay for this WR400? A military salary definitely ain't gonna cut it." Echo always called out Foxtrot's bullshit, he was the only one that had the patience to deal with him.

"Fine, my birthday is comin' up, if you put towards two-thirds of what it costs we can share. How does that sound?"

"I am not sharing anything with you, I don't know what diseases you carry." Their constant back forth sent chuckles through the group.

"Alright, that's enough you two. It's getting late and past everyone's bedtime, I want you all awake by O-five-hundred at the latest," Alpha would often stop them before Foxtrot would take it too far, but he could never hide the twitching smile on his face.

"Yes sir," Foxtrot mock saluted as he stood from his seat around the campfire. "Hey Echo, that offer is still-"

One moment Foxtrot had a wide grin on his face, the next there was a hole in his head between his eyes, the sound of gunshot ringing in everyone's ears.

"SHOTS FIRED! GET TO COVER NOW!"

"FOXTROT IS DOWN! I REPEAT, FOXTROT IS DOWN!"

It was dark, we couldn't see where they were firing from. The android was the only one still standing, firing off in random directions as they were gunned down. The next was Delta, shot in the left shoulder, then the throat. My gun was back in my tent and there was no chance of me getting it. Stupid.

"MEDIC! GET TO DELTA! NOW!"

"GRENADE!"

I heard the thump by my feet before I saw it. You would think it would be terrifying, to know you're staring death in the face, but for a second it was peaceful. My body was cold and I already felt like a corpse, the Rigour Mortis freezing me in place, just softly gazing at what would kill me.

Something grabbed me before the grenade exploded, saving my life but destroying the android.

The bedsheets were crumpled and soaked in sweat again when my eyes shot open. It was hard to breathe, the panic was still running through me and closing up my throat at the memory.

In; one, two, three, four. Hold; one, two, three, four. Out; one, two, three, four. Hold; one, two, three, four.

It took a few minutes for me to remember where I was. That I was home and that I was safe. Out of nervous habit, I gripped my dog tags, they were wet from the sweat that had soaked through my shirt in the night.

"Shit." It was four in the morning, there was no chance of getting any more sleep and the station wouldn't be open for another two more hours at the least. Saying that; Fowler wanted to speak to me first thing, which never meant anything good for anyone.

It was aching again at the joint. The biomechanical component always felt itchy where it joined at the elbow. Anytime I would have that dream I would scratch at it in my sleep, it was like my subconscious knew it didn't belong. It knew my rotting left arm was still in the desert somewhere being picked apart by vultures.

It's almost ironic; to be saved by an android and then to have part of one attached to me. I hated it.

*****

"Morning Cyborg, you look like shit." Gavin was forever pleasant to talk to.

"Fuck off, Reed." He constantly hovered around the coffee machine, hogging it like it was his newborn baby. "Is Fowler in yet?"

"Not yet, you in trouble?" He took his time making his coffee, exceeding in being the department's resident asshat. "Did he catch you looking at porn on your work terminal again?"

"I'm pretty sure that's only ever happened to you." Not wanting to be reminded of his previous escapades I got no response. Gavin let out a small huff before moving to the side with his fresh cup of coffee, freeing up the machine.

"Officer (L/N)." Oh for fuck's sake.

"Sir?" Captain Fowler stood outside his office, his coat half soaked from the rain.

"My office, I need to speak to you." He didn't give a second glance to me before turning and letting the glass door shut behind him.

"Ha, good luck cyborg." Shooting Gavin the middle finger, I followed Captian Fowler into his office.

"What was it you wished to talk about, sir?" Feet shoulder-width apart, back straight and hands behind my back; habits from the army were destined to die hard. Often I would find myself moving my hand up to salute before leaving the presence of a superior, something else for Gavin to make fun of.

"You're aware of the deviant cases I've assigned to Lieutenant Anderson, correct?" Fowler sat at his desk, wet coat now hung on its rack, but there was slight dampness to his suit blazer where his coat had been left open.

"Yes sir. I believe he's being accompanied by a prototype RK800 from Cyberlife."

"That's correct. I'm sure you're aware that these deviancy cases are on the more..."

"Dangerous?"

"...Unpredictable side. Now, I can't exactly issue a gun to a prototype android if it's going to be in the field and, while I value Hank as a police officer, his record is on the rougher side."

"Captain Fowler, with all due respect, I don't believe-"

"Office (L/N), with all due respect, you don't have an opinion in this matter. I want you to accompany Lieutenant Anderson in these assignments just in case a deviant becomes too much for him or this android to handle. You've certainly got the skillset for it and you're not unfamiliar with working alongside androids, unlike quite a few officers in this department."

"I understand that, but-"

"Whatever you're gonna say I don't want to hear it." Captain Fowler didn't give me a chance to argue as he stood and walked to his office door, the annoyed look on his face worsening. "Hank, in my office!"

I let out a sigh before Captain Fowler turned back to his desk. Through the office wall made of glass Hank reluctantly made his way towards us grumbling something under his breath at the request, the RK800 model obediently following behind him like a little, lost puppy. Hank sat in the chair opposite Fowler while the android stood next to me, giving a small smile as a greeting.

Captain Fowler was the first to talk, "I've got ten new cases involving androids on my desk every day. We've always had isolated incidents, old ladies losing their android maids and that kind of crap... But now, we're getting reports of assaults and even homicides, like that guy last night. This isn't just cyberlife's problem anymore, it's now a criminal investigation and we've gotta deal with it before the shit hits the fan. I want you to investigate these cases, alongside officer (L/N) and see if there's any link."

"Why me? And why do I need a god damned partner? A stupid android is already too much. Why do I gotta be the one to deal with this shit?" Props to Hank for trying, but arguing with Fowler was like talking to a brick wall. "I am the least qualified cop in the country to handle this case! I know jack shit about androids, Jeffery. I can barely change the settings on my own phone."

"Everybody's overloaded. I think you're perfectly qualified for this type of investigation," They were already starting to blow up at each other.

"Bullshit! The truth is nobody wants to investigate these fuckin' androids and you left me holdin' the bag!"

"CyberLife sent over this android to help with this investigation and I've given you (L/N) as well. You've got a state of the art prototype and a leading police officer to act as your partners."

"No fuckin' way! I don't need partners, and certainly not this plastic prick and some action hero fucker."

"Nice working with you too, Lieutenant Anderson," I said under my breath, not intending for the others to hear. Connor turned his head slightly in my direction, I could see his LED blink yellow for a moment before going back to its bright blue.

"Hank, you are seriously starting to piss me off! You are a police lieutenant, you are supposed to do what I say and shut your goddamn mouth!"

"You know what my goddamn mouth has to say to you, huh?"

"I'll pretend like I didn't hear that, so I don't have to add any more pages to your disciplinary folder 'cause it already looks like a fuckin' novel! This conversation is over."

"Jeffrey, Jesus Christ! Why are you doin' this to me? You know how much I hate these fuckin' things. Why are you doin' this to me?" Most of the department knew why he had such a distaste towards androids, no one could necessarily blame him. Ever since losing his son Hank had become completely different as both a person and an officer. Admittedly, Fowler was harsh on him, but if he wasn't then Hank would drift.

"I've had just enough of your bitching. Either you do your job or you hand in your badge. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." Hank left in a strop, letting out his frustration on Fowler's office door.

"Well then..." Connor was quick to break the tense silence. His voice caught me off guard, it was smoother, more human than any android's I had heard before. The SQ800's voices had always been more robotic than other models so it had been a shock when the androids back home had sounded so normal, it felt like that all over again. It was jarring. "I won't keep you any longer. Have a nice day captain."

Connor left and I followed behind, giving a small nod of dismissal to Fowler despite him still looking at his terminal screen.

The android went straight to Hank either oblivious or ignoring the lieutenant's current bad mood, granted there was never a time the bastard was in a good mood. Heaven itself could rain down on Detroit and he'd huff at it like a hair in his food.

"I got the impression my presence causes you some inconvenience, Lieutenant. I'd like you to know I'm very sorry about that. In any case, I'd like you to know I'm very to be working with you." Ever the enthusiast.

"I'd give in now. You're talking to a toddler in a fifty-year old's body and the toddler is having a hissy fit." I half sat and half leant against Hank's desk, using my arms to support my weight.

"Apologies, I don't believe I've introduced myself. My name is Connor, I am the android sent by CyberLife." He turned to me, a gentle and manufactured smile on his face. "It's a pleasure to be working with you too, officer (L/N). I'm sure we'll make a great team."

"Er... (Y/N) is just fine."

"Is there a desk anywhere I could use?"

"No one's using that one." Hank points to the desk opposite him, while still sulking like a child.

"Gasp, it speaks," I said in a sarcastic tone while turning to Hank.

"Fuck off. I've already got an android on my ass, I don't need you on it too."

I grabbed a terminal pad before perching myself back at the edge of Hank's desk while Connor got comfortable at the empty one. The light at the side of his head flashing yellow for a moment like he was hesitant to speak."You have a dog, right?"

"How do you know that?"

"The dog hairs on your chair. I like dogs. What's your dog's name?"

"What's it to you?" Hank shifted in his seat, "...Sumo... I call him Sumo."

"Under all those shitty shirts and questionable stains there's a warm, beating heart," I say more to myself than the other two, skimming over the recent case files sent in by Fowler.

"Officer (L/N)... (Y/N), knowing that we'd be working together I read your academy and field records. You have quite an interesting background."

"Oh yeah, then you understand that I may be a little driven to get these cases over with. I can't say I'm a fan of you terminators."

"I understand you have a... warped view of androids due to what you've experienced, but I hope you understand that I am your partner and not your enemy."

"Connor, you're not my partner, you're cyberlife's latest gizmo for us kick around." I sigh, turning to sit at my desk adjacent to hanks, taking the terminal pad with me. "Just look through the deviant case files. Terminals on your desk, knock yourself out."

They're nothing but machines. They are not your friends.

"Two-hundred and forty-three files, the first date back nine months. It all started in Detroit... And quickly spread across the country." Connor had only connected the terminal moments before.

"Don't work your CPU too hard," I mutter under my breath, catching a quick huff of amusement from Hank.

"An AX400 is reported to have murdered a man last night. That could be a good starting point for our investigation." Hank was doing his best to pretend Connor didn't exist, but the android was persistent. Connor stood from his chair and made his way into Hank's personal space.

"Uh, Jesus..." Hank turned his chair away.

"I understand you're facing personal issues, Lieutenant, but you need to move past them and-" For an android, Connor has some balls on him.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like you know me. I'm not your friend and I don't need your advice, okay?" Hank's mood had soured like milk, it wouldn't be long until Fowler was adding another page to Hank's disciplinary folder.

"I've been assigned this mission Lieutenant, I didn't come here to wait until you feel like working."

"Connor, you're just gonna-" I had wasted my breath, Hank had already stood and was grabbing onto Connor by the collar of his Cyberlife jacket and slamming against the screen next to his desk. "Hank!"

"Listen asshole. If it were up to me, I'd rather throw the lot of you in a dumpster and set a match to it. So, stop pissing me off... or things are gonna get nasty."

"Hank," I placed a hand on his shoulder to try and lightly pull him away from Connor but only earned a nasty side-eye. "Leave off him, you don't get paid enough to replace him."

"Lieutenant... Officer (L/N), uh... sorry to disturb you," Looks like the tin can was saved before Hank could knock the light out of him, "I have some information on the AX400 that killed that guy last night. It's been sighted in the Ravendale district."

"I'm on it." Hank didn't glance back when he dropped Connor's collar. The puppy dog look on his face almost made me feel bad for him... almost.

"Come on, WALL-E. Don't want to keep the old man waiting."

[twinterrors29]

the surprising part is how long it takes him to notice

it’s not until years after his death that Obi-Wan realized that the other Force ghosts were not quite as...tangible, as he is; they got ‘tired’, and weren’t ‘present’ all the time the way he was

Obi-Wan wrote it off as some quirk of his connection to the Force, some difference in his training compared to the others

but Anakin, for all his power, could only show himself to Luke, briefly and without voice

Yoda, for all his years of preparation, beginning even before teaching Obi-Wan himself and extending after his death, cannot interact with the physical world, and yet Obi-Wan has always been able to sit on real surfaces and touch the living at will

not to mention Qui-Gon, who can only ever manifest as a disembodied voice, and even that only rarely, and exclusively to Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan

that belief was shattered by an accidental encounter after the Battle of Endor

Captain Rex (who was still refusing to accept his well-deserved promotion to Commander) wasn’t the least bit Force-sensitive, and by all rights shouldn’t have even been able to see him

after all, none of the other clones he’d sought out over the years since his death reacted to his presence, although he couldn’t bear to visit any of them more than the once

and yet

“shoulda known the rumors of your death were exaggerated, huh,” Rex had muttered, walking up to deliver a slap to his surprisingly-solid shoulder

they awkwardly, but happily, chatted about Rex’s ongoing efforts to track down his surviving brothers for a few minutes before he got called away, leaving Obi-Wan staring after him in disbelief

then he settled in to piece together this new mystery

it’s not like he had much else to do, being dead, and with the Empire largely defeated

and now that he had a purpose to pursue, his ability to interact with the physical realm and non-Force-sensitives came in handy when attempting to research esoteric Force phenomena in a galaxy nearly empty of his own people

first, he drew on dimly recalled memories of a strange incident during the Clone Wars: Mortis, a planet where even Qui-Gon was able to appear, and where he witnessed a series of unusual deaths

with a little digging, he was able to pull up some unexpected references to the three beings he met, the Daughter, the Father, and the Son, in old Jedi legends, and even a reference to Nightsister beliefs regarding the Daughter and Son in particular, but was able to find no reference to others in his state

he found nothing regarding their origins, and little more about their home planet

unable to find Mortis itself again, Obi-Wan instead searched through the remnants of several long-abandoned Dathomiri villages when he was found by a familiar face

“General,” the clone breathed, looking awed

it took a second for Obi-Wan to recognize him; it has been so very, very long, and age had taken it’s toll on his former Commander, but there was no mistaking the curving scar around his left eye

“Cody?”

“I killed you,” Cody looked faint

“no, dear one,” Obi-Wan quickly denied, “you didn’t, and even if you had, it wouldn’t have been your fault”

it took a few more reassurances, but eventually his old friend was willing to accept that he hadn’t, in fact, killed his General

after all, it’s hard to argue that you killed the seemingly-alive and whole man standing in front of you

“you know,” he remarked, sipping at the tea he had made for Obi-Wan, who was politely pretending to be able to drink it, “I probably should have figured it’d be harder to kill you, considering all the stories the men would tell about you”

“oh?” Obi-Wan asked, remembering that Rex had expressed a similar sentiment, “what sorts of stories?”

“that you were some unkillable god of misdirection or something,” he paused for another sip, “all respectful of course, but the rumors had definitely spread back to Kamino before the war ended”

this was news to Obi-Wan, but considering the looks some of the shinies gave him when he welcomed them to the 212th, he could believe it

“they even built these little shrines to you”

“they what”

“yeah,” Cody winced, “I made them take it down whenever I found one, but I know I never found them all”

“speaking of finding,” Obi-Wan seized upon any chance to change the subject, “how long ago did Rex track you down?”

“Rex is alive?” Cody sounded surprised but pleased at this revelation

“ah, I assumed you knew; when I spoke with him recently he mentioned his efforts to find his brothers and remove their chips”

“no, I haven’t seen him since he left for Mandalore back during the war,” he shook his head, “and my chip just stopped working about three years ago”

“just like that?”

“yeah,” Cody squinted, recalling the experience, “I was getting ready to sleep after just another shift on the Devastator, when I felt...”

“felt?” Obi-Wan prompted, feeling an uncomfortable familiarity with the scene Cody was describing from his single visit to his Commander shortly after his own demise on the Death Star

“warm,” Cody eventually decided on, “I felt warm, and by the time the feeling had faded I was myself again”

Obi-Wan expressed his relief to hear about Cody’s awakening, but despite his joy at seeing his Commander safe and mostly happy, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had something to do with Cody’s chip malfunctioning

after eventually parting ways with Cody, who had been sent to explore the slim possibility of starting a settlement on the long-abandoned home of the Nightsisters, Obi-Wan decided to search out the other survivors of the 212th that he had checked in on after his death

somehow, he wasn’t surprised to discover that every one of them was now free of the chips’ control, with no scar on their forehead like Rex’s, and that they were to a man working together to free and organize any of their remaining brothers

and, in each of their ships and bases, he noted, was a loving arrangement of lights and tea bags and plants, all surrounding a still holo of himself

[shingia]

DATING SUNA...

in honor of this smexy middle blocker’s birthday, here are MANY hcs about what i think dating suna would be like (as exhaustively as possible) bcs he’s on my mind 25/8 <3

cw : one or two suggestive stuff, mentions of food

— EARLY RELATIONSHIP

• ok so suna would definitely not waste his time dating someone if he wasn’t truly in love

• that’s why it took him a few months to ask you out because 1. he wanted to be sure of his feelings 2. he wanted to be sure of yours 3. he was scared

• he probably acted detached at first, but it was just to compensate for the fact that you had him wrapped around your finger since day 1

• he probably didn’t officially tell his friends that you were dating and just casually kissed you before for his class (lowkey enjoyed leaving without a word while everyone else was freaking out)

• nicknames came after a few weeks, when he ‘accidentally’ called you babe after asking for a kiss. yeah he is that smooth

• because it took him so many months to ask you out, you already knew each other pretty well so he felt comfortable around you very quickly

• and he tried his best to make you feel the same if you were a bit more nervous

• honestly he couldn’t wait for you two to become closer over time <3 he's a sucker for the boyfriend/bestfriend dynamic

— LOVE LANGUAGE

->| QUALITY TIME

• he cherishes every single moment you spend together, even if it’s just for a few minutes between classes

• sure, there are times where you two just hang out at his place or yours, scrolling on your phones and enjoying each other’s company. but tell him once that you want to talk to him about something and you’ll have his undivided attention

• and lemme just kdjqdhvjdmsjvh real quick : eye contact. that’s how you know he’s listening, and he always leans in just enough for you to know that he’s paying attention. no phone in sight, just you.

• he doesn’t need to take you out on fancy dates for it to be called quality time, because he values impromptu face-to-face late night conversations much more than a dinner at the restaurant.

— DATES

• your first date was one of the only dates you spent outside, it was nothing extravagant you just went for coffee after school and ended up walking through the city, holding hands for the first time

• once you guys started officially dating, you realized that at-home dates were actually more your thing. but there needs to be a difference with the rest of the time you spend at home, so you always have one or two things planned like :

• cook together an elaborate meal for once, actually put an effort in the choice of the movie/tv show you’re gonna watch (and not end up watching rick and morty for the 23rd time this week), try the most questionable face masks recipes - he loves them and doesn’t even deny it

• but i feel like you guys might go out for your anniversaries, and it’s a great opportunity for him to take really nice pictures of you and update his phone’s lockscreen (he’s a huge simp)

• your dates often take place in the evening because he loves to see your face illuminated by the city lights, and he likes to know that you might get cold because he can be smooth af and give you his jacket (most of the pictures are taken when you’re wearing it)

• i think official and ‘elaborated’ dates with suna maybe occur every two weeks because he wants them to be special and likes to look forward to them

— CUDDLES

• he gets a kick out of kissing your whole face except your lips, but really he’s just waiting for you to get frustrated and kiss him yourself

• however, if you ever don’t play along he’ll stop like “wtf you’re not supposed to do nothing”

• he’ll give you lazy and passive cuddles where you just lay on top of him, hugging him while he watches something on tv or on his phone, BUT

• if he ever wraps a blanket around you then real cuddles begin. i’m talking scalp massages, back strokes, kisses, playing with your hands...

• i just know his kisses are aphrodisiac, there’s something about the way he holds your head still with his hands that’s just UGHHH

• you could be sharing a perfectly peaceful moment together and he’ll suddenly get bored and feel an urge to tickle your sides, squish your cheeks or randomly blow in your face/ear

• but god forbid you ever do that to him, he will crush you with all his weight until you can’t move

• he also uses your hand to scratch his back because he can’t do it without writhing like a cat, not that you’d complain about seeing that one day

• you two always end up dozing and losing track of time. “we stayed like that for NINETY MINUTES?” (he’d have to find an excuse for being late at practice, because there’s no way in hell he will tell the truth in front of the twins)

• it’s very likely that you guys wake up still cuddling after nine hours of sleep. i mean it’s canon that he has a good shoulder mobility so he can keep holding you even if you’ve moved in your sleep

• his biggest struggle is morning cuddles because it’s really hard for him to get out of bed and go on with his day when he’s so comfortable in bed with you

— PDA

• i think he’d adapt to your needs, he doesn’t really mind pda

• if he ever pulls you in for a hug in public, it won’t always be a soft and sweet hug, no. sometimes it might look like a literal headlock, but he’ll give you a quick peck on the head to make up for it

• in fact the only times his hugs are sweet and lovey in public are after his matches

• if atsumu ever makes fun of him for ‘being a softie’, he’ll do the exact opposite of what’s expected of him : and by that i mean ruthlessly tongue-kiss you until tsumu begs him to stop

• he uses hugs as a way to talk shit to you about someone without them realizing it

• he doesn’t necessarily hold your hand all the time but he has affectionate gestures like giving you little pats on the head or wiping dirt off of your clothes

• pokes your cheek for no reason, and that’s daily

• he’s also a fricken tease and doesn’t have any problem with gripping your thigh when you’re sat at a table :)

— COUPLE DYNAMIC

• he tries so hard to act like you’re the clingy one but everyone knows it’s a lie

• he probably has a private story called ‘being held against my will’ where it’s just him roasting you on a daily basis

• which is a great contrast with all the albums full of pictures of you in his camera roll. like i said, he’s a MAJOR SIMP

• you also have a private story called ‘exposing the truth’ and it’s filled with stolen clichés of him being a needy and whiny little bïtch (sorry i got carried away) : it’s the twins’ main source of blackmail

• i said before that suna’s a sucker for the boyfriend/bestfriend dynamic. yeah well you guys definitely have it - you can spend entire afternoons together without once acting like a couple

• he’d give you a kidney if you ever needed one, but steal one of his fries and he’ll flip your chair over without thinking twice

•  you both think that your failed attempts at being romantic are hilarious. one time he tried to kiss you under the rain but you were so cold that you couldn’t stop your teeth from chattering and yeah it was just terrible

• the efforts you put in to embarrass each other are remarkable. you once kissed him in a supermarket and he just pulled away, yelling “MOM AND DAD SAID NOT IN PUBLIC !”

— RANDOM HCS THAT GIVE ME LIFE

• remember when i said you guys would do face masks together ? yeah well suna doesn’t own any headband which means that you have to tie his hair up in two pigtails at the front (it’s too short for one ponytail or a bun hehe)

• he has a silent laugh, the kind of laugh where he just wheezes while slapping his thighs, and he has to make a conscious effort to catch his breath

• he tugs on your sleeve whenever he wants to show you something <3

• in winter he writes messages on the frost of your car’s windows. nothing cheesy, probably something along the lines of “nice ass”

• he thinks it’s hilarious that your contact name in his phone is your full name, no emojis, nothing. he even put caps at the beginning 

• he sends you 30 tiktoks per day and expects you to answer to all of them

• he makes you playlists for the dumbest things. one of them is called ‘dentist appointment vibes’

• he likes to see you wear many layers of clothing in winter because he takes great pride in being the only one to know what’s hiding under them *wink*

• when he’s driving, he often tries to be smooth and stare at you lovingly when he’s at a red light, but he always misses the moment when it turns green and the other drivers start to furiously honk at him (another failed attempt at being romantic)

• i’m gonna be honest w/ you : he’s probably effortlessly seggsy when he drives

in conclusion : you might not be the most romantic couple, but your vibes are 𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 because you’re both so madly in love with each other

pspsps: here’s a link to my suna playlist that fuels my mind with thousands of scenarios 

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao