#since he has a secret identity as a hero he keeps his boring birth name

[cowboyvillainz]

herostaire. I like him.

something I have never done before is draw out the way a character's fashion sense progresses over time. it was super fun to think about... I love to draw clothes and this took it to another level by mixing it with characterization and story arcs. TASTY!

[jokertrap-ran]

(未定事件簿) EVENT! 「眷然恋影」 [Tears of Themis] EVENT: Zuo Ran Birthday 2021- Days to Re-Live Forever (4.26: Birthday Celebration)

*Tears of Themis Masterlist / Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Will also be filed under Zuo Ran’s tag #Tears of a Lawyer *The tracking tag for ALL Event Stories will go under: #Tears of an Event

4.18 / 4.20 / 4.22 / 4.24 / 4.26 Messages / Investigations / Call

On the day of Zuo Ran's birthday, I asked sister Zhao Xing for her help beforehand to arrange his schedule so that he got off work right on the dot.

And, using the reasoning of "The volunteers need more hands to finish setting up the set", I invited him to the Film Museum.

I explained what I did as a volunteer along our way there, doing my best to avoid the topic entirely, for fear that he'd pick up on my intent.

Very soon, we found ourselves at the Live-action Studio.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Location: Live Action Studio

Zuo Ran: Is the place that requires help still up ahead?

MC: Yes. Soon. We'll be there soon, just a little more!

I did my best to suppress the nervousness that nagged at me, turning at the curb together with him up ahead before reaching a did. I knew that what laid behind the door was none other than the set that I'd painstakingly decorated.

▷Choice: Push the door open

Tugging at his hand, I took a deep breath and opened the doors.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Location: Set

MC: Happy Birthday, Lawyer Zuo!

I cheered right as we entered.

Zuo Ran: You… This...

All we could see around us were the streets that gave off a foreign vibe, the light shining through the windows comforting and warm.

This was the set I chose— This was where Mary and Tim had their first date after he'd time travelled.

In the film, Mary stood in front of the shop's entrance after dinner, asking if Tim could see her off. This was also where their story had truly begun.

Be it the signboard atop the entrance, the hanging plants, or the colourful street decor, it all made people reminiscent of that one beautiful, destined night.

Zuo Ran: This is the Restaurant on the corner that Tim and Mary had their first date at?

MC: That's right, I knew you'd recognize it at a glance!

Of course, I'd also done a couple of adjustments to the set itself by adding a couple of birthday decor.

For example, the row of lights hanging from the roof, the colourful flags the spelled "Happy Birthday", and the many gifts stacked beside the coffee table.

And hidden among those gifts, was the "Collector's Edition: The World-wide  Film Script Collection".

This made Zuo Ran, who'd remained calm and unfazed in the face of all that has happened, express a rare moment of surprise.

Zuo Ran: So, that's why you...

I knew that it was going to be hard to explain everything to him immediately, so I decided to sit him down first.

MC: Okay, okay, I know that you must have a truckload of questions; but first, have a seat and try the desserts and coffee that I made.

MC: I'll slowly tell you about the secrets of this place after that.

Zuo Ran: So, you recreated the scenes in the movie "About Time" because you saw how much I loved it…?

Zuo Ran's expression gradually grew fonder as he heard the reasoning behind how this set came to be.

MC: That's right! Besides, birthdays are meant to bring happiness to the birthday star, so obviously I'll have to choose the movie you love best!

Zuo Ran: Thank you.

He surveyed the surrounding decor, gently stroking the shop window beside him that had been fully decorated with plants.

Zuo Ran: Tim invited Mary away from the boring party, bringing her to this restaurant with a transparent window instead. 

Zuo Ran: Here, they had dinner with each other, shared their most heartfelt sentiments, and walked along this path after.

MC: Yes, that's a classic, and very memorable scene!

Zuo Ran: Even the small chef miniature on the storefront looks almost exactly the same. I never thought that you'd manage to recreate even that— To such perfection.

MC: You'll have to thank the Film Museum for those. They were the ones who made replicas of the original; all I did was to exchange for them with the points I earned.

MC: Oh yes, I've got another special gift for you apart from all of these. That was one of the main reasons why I'd decided to become a volunteer in the first place.

I handed him a small booklet.

MC: This is what the guests of the Film Festival have said about "Robin".

After obtaining permission from the Film Museum, I picked out all the answers pertaining to Robin from the survey and bound it into a small booklet as a special gift for Zuo Ran.

And now, I was eagerly anticipating his reaction to this gift.

Zuo Ran: ……

He tensed a little at the mention of "Robin".

Zuo Ran: "Robin"? Why are you giving this to me?

MC: Well… I felt that "Robin" was different from the other Film Critics out on the net that you'd probably find a little distasteful.

MC: His reviews all give off a vibe similar to your own. So, I think you're… Probably acquainted with him?

Zuo Ran: So you're saying that you really like this guy?

MC: Yeah. I've reread all of his reviews a good many times now. The only unfortunate thing is that he never did share anything about his person, and neither did he leave any contact details.

MC: And even though the organizer wants to invite him for the closing ceremony if the Film Festival, they have no choice but to attempt contacting him through online means. Otherwise, I'd really have wanted to know his true identity.

I scrutinized his expression, trying to find any tells that he might show when trying to debunk my guess about his other identity. But who would have thought...

Zuo Ran: ... I'm Robin.

He'd admitted to it, unwavering, driving his point straight home.

MC: So..  Does this mean that you admit to it?

Zuo Ran: And I'm presuming from your reaction that you've already long since guessed it?

MC: Yeah, I did.

Zuo Ran: Sorry, I should have told you earlier.

MC: I probably guessed it back when I saw the picture of the shadow puppet that you sent out.

MC: And then, I slowly came to realize that you and Robin happened to coincide more and more frequently, so much that the answer to it all was pretty much already set in stone.

MC: This present is the reason why I specially added questions about Robin into the questionnaire, and also because I wanted to know a little more about you.

Zuo Ran: You're the first person...

Perhaps it was the trick of the light, but Zuo Ran's face had a faint red tint to it.

Zuo Ran: You're the first person to have gone through so much trouble for me. This present gives me innumerable joy.

MC: Yeah, I'm glad you like it...

His eyes appeared soft beyond words, unconsciously sucking me into it's enchanting depths.

Zuo Ran: It was never my intention to hide it from you, but I'd rather my Film Reviews to be just that; a pure and unhindered exchange of personal opinion.

Zuo Ran: And that might be harder to achieve if my real identity becomes associated with my identity as Robin.

Zuo Ran: ...I've always thought that I managed to keep it well under wraps since I've never let anything slip with my real life, and neither did I post any personal info.

Zuo Ran: Even acquaintances. It’s hard to find even a single connection between any of us even if you tried.

Zuo Ran: I never thought that you seriously re-read everything I wrote over and over again that many times...

MC: I just...

Zuo Ran: I suppose that’s why you’re probably the only person who’s capable of finding out my other identity.

MC: Don’t worry, Lawyer Zuo. I won’t tell anyone about your identity as Robin. Just treat it as our little secret, okay?

Zuo Ran: Okay. Our little secret.

Suddenly, he gently held my hand.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Zuo Ran: Thank you for preparing so much for me, for my birthday.

Zuo Ran: Recreating a movie, preparing presents, carefully planning everything up till today… I really like this surprise of yours.

Zuo Ran: It is only thanks to you that I truly know now, what “Every moment in life brings innumerable joys” really means.

Zuo Ran: “Every day of our life is a journey in time. All we can do is to do the best we can to cherish this beautiful and wondrous journey of ours.”

That was the same exact line of the movie that he’d just murmured ever so softly.

MC: Isn’t that Tim’s final monologue on “About Time”?

Zuo Ran: Oh? You still remember it? He finally had an epiphany, realizing the value of an ordinary life after his countless journeys through time and space.

MC: I remember. He finally understood that time-travel was not the most important thing in the world; but what was most important, was for him to cherish everything he currently had,

Zuo Ran: That’s right. Even if living life like this will give birth to some regrets.

Zuo Ran: I watch this movie several times a year; and every time, I’ll get a new experience through these lines.

Zuo Ran: I too, once longed to Time-travel just like the hero; to change the past that could no longer be turned back in time.

Zuo Ran: But I don't think so anymore. Especially ever since I met you.

His ears were slightly red, but the sound of his voice that had reached my ears were firm and as clear as the day. I felt my cheeks warm.

MC: ……

Zuo Ran and I both immersed ourselves in the scene of the foreign street that we were in for a while. The night waxed, the colourful lights shining bright.

And he'dheld onto my hand throughout it all; across the stars and till the end of time.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Location: Home

After the Film Festival had ended, the popular and renowned Film Critic among the masses, named "Robin", turned down the interview for the column and ended up not showing for the closing ceremony.

But he'd still heeded the organizer's request, releasing a long article to express his thoughts about the Film Festival and its many different movies.

I carefully read through this article; and unsurprisingly, I spotted a particular line.

"Every moment in life brings innumerable joys."

So, "All we can do is to do the best we can to cherish this beautiful and wondrous journey of ours.”

MC: (Yeah, I'll do my best to cherish what I have now too.)

My eyes lingered on this line for a long while, my lips curling into a knowing smile.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Previous Part: (4.24: Exchanging Movie Reviews)

[lesbiansforboromir]

Impossible LotR Quiz Answer sheet with explanations!

As an addendum, since people have been doing the quiz I’ve seen a few mistypes and awkwardnesses that are my own fault so I’ve corrected them. This means some people got a higher score than was shown, know that when I looked over your answers I saw your actually right answers and fully appreciated them! It’s good to not that the ‘fill in the blanks’ questions will not take two words in one space, so I’ve had to get creative with how I apply two named folk like Mardil Voronwe, or people who have numbers like Hurin I.

I would also like to say, to everyone talking about how they’ve never read the Silmarillion, this quiz is very purposefully almost entirely based outside of the Silmarillion. This is Appendices stuff! Indeed there is only 1 question even tangentally related to elves in here, this is by design. 

@magaramach, @brynnmclean and @apojiiislands asked to be tagged in this! Answers under the cut. 

Q2. Who was Dora Baggins in relation to Bilbo Baggins? - Second cousin on his father's side Dora Baggins is a very elderly woman who was the daughter of Bilbo’s father’s brother. She likes writing people a lot of unsolicited advice! THIS WAS WRONG AND SAID FIRST COUSIN FOR SO LONG AND I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR IT.

Q3. How many pairs of biological twins are mentioned in the whole of Arda's timeline and what races do they belong too? - 2 for men, 1 for elves and 3 for half-elves Fastred and Folcred, Haleth and Haldar (men) Amrod and Amras (elves) Elured and Elurin, Elrond and Elros, Elladan and Elrohir (half-elves) Now, admittedly Elladan and Elrohir are never actually described as twins. However they appear completely identical and have the same birth date, so it is assumed.

Q4. Baldor is who the skeleton scratching at the door used to be. When Aragorn and co pass through the paths of the dead they find a skeleton clawing at a door to the mountain. It is finely dressed and described as mighty and was later essentially confirmed to be Baldor, the eldest son of King Brego of Rohan, also called Baldor the hapless, who foolishly wandered into the paths of the dead on, apparently, a dare. (the answer to this was originally Brego because of a foolish typo from me, many apologies!)

Q5. When was the Ondonóre Nómesseron Minaþurie written? - During Meneldil's reign. “Enquiry into the Place-names of Gondor” was a text written by settled numenoreans about their new kingdom during Meneldil’s reign, who was the first sole King of Gondor after both Anarion (his father) and Isildur had perished.   

Q6. Farmer Maggot's particular friend was Tom Bombadil  It is stated that Farmer Maggot sometimes peacefully passes through the Old Forest to go and meet Tom Bombadil, who very much enjoys his company. However! Those who answered Merry or Pippin still deserve excellent recognition, Farmer Maggot was indeed fond of Pippin and respected Merry greatly.

Q7. What was the office of the Steward originally created to do? - Keep the Tradition of Isildur When Romendacil I went to war in the east, he realised that if he died then the secret of the Tradition of Isildur would die with him. Hence he wrote it down in a sealed scoll and gave it to a trusted confidante, to be given to his heir if he should perish. This tradition was maintained by further kings and those trusted confidantes became the Stewards of Gondor. This, admittedly, is a more suggested progression than explicit, but it’s a Impossible evil quiz so :) Q8. What was the 'Tradition of Isildur'? - Remember where Elendil was buried. Elendil had been secretly entombed in Calenardhon, supposedly the midpoint between Gondor and Arnor. This was a hallowed space for only Kings at first, but in later years when the Stewards came to rule Gondor they also were permitted the secret. Cirion had the remains moved when Calenardhon was gifted to the Eotheod to eventually become a part of the Kingdom of Rohan. 

Q9. At the time of Pelargir's founding, is the world flat or round? - Flat. Pelargir was founded as a ‘Faithful Numenorean’ haven on the river Anduin. Therefore it was built before Numenor’s destruction in the Akallabeth, the reason for which being that Eru turned the world from flat to round. 

Q10. Which of these monarchs were indolent and had no interest in ruling? - King Atanatar I - King Narmacil I - Tar-Vanimelde King Atanatar I ruled during Gondor’s richest generation and seemed to believe that meant he didn’t need to put any work in. Narmacil I, his son, didn’t want to put any work in, but he at least assigned his nephew, Minalcar, as ‘Karma-Kundo’ or regent during his reign. So he at least did something to keep the country going. Tar-Vanimelde had no interest in ruling and allowed her husband to do most of the governence. This backfired when she died and he organised a coup against his son to hold power.

Q11. When looking back on the Ship-Kings of Gondor, King Tarannon Falastur began the invasion of Harad and expanded Gondor's borders, King Earnil-I finally took Umbar but died at sea shortly afterwards, King Ciryandil spent most of his reign trying to defend Umbar and died in it's seige and King Hyarmendacil defended Umbar against seiges for 35 years before making war upon all Harad and claiming Harondor as a province of Gondor, ending the line of the Ship Kings.

Q12. What happened during the reign of King Romendacil II? - I don't know! Nothing? Yes I know this is particularly evil of me but Romendacil II was originally called Minalcar, yes the same Minalcar who became REGENT of Gondor due to Narmacil’s indolent nature. Minalcar indeed did everything else listed as answers to this question, but none of them happened during his reign as king. Indeed, his reign was said to be peaceful and we have no real information on it, so technically saying we don’t know, and suggesting nothing happened, is actually the most correct answer :)

Q13. Who succeeded Tar-Telperien of Numenor? - Her nephew, Minastir Tar-Telperien was a lesbian Queen of Numenor who never married and never wanted too and did an excellent job and I love her. Her nephew built a tower to mope in about how much he wanted to be an elf. They are not the same. Absolutely terrified about what Amazon could do to her. 

Q14. Whilst his brethren, the nazgul, were attacking the Prancing Pony, The Witch-King was waiting in the Barrow Downs and probably had a really nice time. Not much to this! Witch King was chilling with the Barrow Wights. 

Q15. Which of these characters are described as 'beautiful' at least once in the Lord of the Rings? - Galadriel, Denethor, Eowyn, Frodo, Elanor, Celeborn, Boromir Yes, Arwen is never described as beautiful, but Denethor is :)

Q16. We all love Boromir II, select the similarities he and Boromir I did NOT share. - Renowned relationship with the Rohirrim. - Destroyed the Bridge of Osgiliath - Feared by the Witch King - Retook Ithilien. - Had a brother. In case you’re wondering, yes, I love both Boromirs. But this question is a fun highlight of how many similarities Boromir II has with his namesake. These are the only things they didn’t both do. Although! Boromir I’s son was Cirion who allied with the Eotheod and created Rohan in the first place, the Uruk-Hai destroyed the Bridge of Osgiliath in Boromir I’s lifetime, Boromir II was PROBABLY feared by the witch-king we just don’t know, Boromir II held Ithilien and Boromir I had two elder sisters like Denethor II did.

Q17. Hey, did you know that, from Boromir I's war with the Uruk-Hai of the Morgul Vale, Gondor didn't know peace until Sauron's death on the 25th of March, 3019? Hah hah! How gut wrenching is that? About how long do you think it has been since Gondor knew peace then? Hey wait does that mean Boromir I's valiant victory that came at a personal sacrifice was the beginning of Gondor's wars and then Boromir II's valiant sacrifice was the end- oh god... oh fuck - 550 years To everyone who answered the crossed out answer,,, you’re correct in my heart. You get bonus points. Also hey! What the fuck :) 

Q18. Who was Borondir? - The rider sent to find Eorl who made it to him after starving himself for two days but who then rode to the Celebrant with Eorl anyway and died in that battle. Literally couldn’t love this fellow more. Big Hirgon energy. A hero of Gondor for time immemorial. 

Q19. The Ruling Stewards, from first to last (with their numbers typed as so Turin-I Hurin-II etc), were as follows; Mardil ; Eradan ; Herion ; Belegorn ; Hurin-I ; Turin-I ; Hador ; Barahir ; Dior ; Denethor-I ; Boromir-I ; Cirion ; Hallas ; Hurin-II ; Belecthor-I ; Orodreth ; Ecthelion-I ; Egalmoth ; Beren ; Beregond ; Belecthor-II ; Thorondir ; Turin-II ; Turgon ; Ecthelion-II ; Denethor-II ; and for like two seconds ; Faramir ; Alrighty, we had a bit of a fight in my discord about this but eventually I did relent in agreement that Faramir IS... very briefly... legally considered a RULING Steward. Ruling Stewards being Stewards that ruled a Kingless Gondor. But! With Aragorn RIGHT THERE is just seemed very redundant. Still! I’ll allow the pedant to win out, ten minutes is still a Ruling Steward. ALSO! I decided that having an extra box for the ‘voronwe’ part of mardil voronwe was just mean as it set everyone’s answers off kilter, so I removed that. ALSO for all of those calling me a bastard for adding this question, @illegalstargender was the one who requested it! I wasn’t going too! 

Q20. The Stewards, despite ruling through very tumultuous and violent periods, were often known for boring things (because they simply ruled better than the Kings did, I said what I said) But what boring thing was Steward Turin I remembered for? - Being the only monarch of Gondor that married twice This skeezy bastard really did marry a second time during his OLD age just to father a son. I can only imagine what a dreadful cultural and social effect this had on this prude country. It’s so unnecessary! He had daughters, many of them! One of them certainly had a son before he did. He was just being a controlling arse, down with Turin I!!!!

[justjessame]

First A Moses, Then A Cooper Chapter 1

Making dinner as my son and daughter fought over one of their many shared tech gadgets, I had to ask myself if Will and I were sane for wanting a third.  With him working constantly, and me doing the brunt of rearing our little demons, I had to think that a third child might be outside the realm of my abilities.  

“J, Mira, stop fighting!”  I snarled it, causing both kids to look up at me from their spot just inside the living room and I knew I had hit my limit and also stopped being the mother they knew and expected.  “Dad called and we’re having guests for dinner.”  I hoped that helped them understand, but they continued to stare.  “WORK guests.”  That got them moving, suddenly they were working to straighten the living room and they were miraculously using their inside voices.  “Thank you!”  I went back to working on dinner, trying to decide if the last minute additions were foodies, or if they’d make due with comfort foods.

“Honey?”  I heard Will’s voice, and sighed as I put the finishing touches on the table.  “Michelle,” and then his warmth was surrounding me and a ton of my extra tension started to relax.  How he could manage to do that would be a mystery forever.  “Something smells delicious.”  He was saying it into the side of my neck so I had no doubts that he didn’t mean our dinner.

“Yeah, is that pot roast?”  Another voice, bringing me back to the reality that we were having guests for dinner and that our kids would be in attendance.  Damn it.  “Sorry,” the man didn’t look sorry, he looked like he was holding back laughter at Will and I wrapped up in one another.

“Michelle, sweetheart, I’d like you to meet Frank Moses.”  My eyes widened, I couldn’t help it, I KNEW who this was even if his face wasn’t familiar.  Will moved on, introducing the two other guests who made up the ragtag band who would add to our table.  I barely listened, even though their names were known to me too.  None hit me like Frank’s.  “Honey?”  I looked up at my husband, seeing him staring at me with confusion.  

I shook off my look of amazement, and smiled reassuringly.  “Welcome to our home,” I offered to the trio as our kids joined us, clearly hearing the additional voices.  “This is our son, James and our daughter Mira.”  I saw Frank look at both my children and then back at me.  Clearly trying to place me, but he wasn’t having much luck.  And he wouldn’t, because my mother made certain that no one would ever know just who I really was.  I gave a silent prayer of thanks and told everyone to get comfortable at the table while I brought dinner in.  Will was on my heels, offering to help, but I knew my very observant husband had questions.  

“Chell?”  I smiled up at him as I handed him the lined bread basket that I filled with warm rolls.  “Honey, why did you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”  Licking my lips, I carefully arranged the roast onto a serving tray, then moved to grab the dish I had ready for the potatoes and carrots.  “Michelle -”  

“We have guests, Will,” I reminded him, swallowing the dry lump in the back of my throat because I HAVE seen a ghost.  Just one that I knew about while no one else in the house did.  “We can’t be rude.”  

Of all the men I could have married, I picked William Cooper, one of the most observant men on the planet AND one who had the most in common with my birth parents even if he had no clue about that.  He was studying me while I carefully filled the bowls with starches, then vegetables, then made certain the gravy boat was filled just full enough, adding the silver ladle my mother had gifted us with on our wedding day.  

“Michelle Cooper, we will be having a conversation about whatever it is that has you on edge as soon as our guests are settled in for the night-” Wait, what?  “It’s one night, sweetheart,” one night, I thought, feeling my tension ratchet up to a fifteen.  “I know they look like a -” he stopped, considering how to describe the mess of a trio he’d brought home.  “It’s one night.”  I nodded.  “A nice long, hot bubble bath with your husband should do the trick,” I smirked, and they said torture was outlawed.  “You and me, Mrs. Cooper, after dinner.”  

Will’s voice, when he wanted it to, could take on an octave that I swore could make me do things that nothing else could.  He would laugh and say I was being silly, but I’d squint and challenge him back with the theory that he used it to get sources to do his bidding in all manner of terrible and wonderful ways.  Since I didn’t have the type of security clearance that could either refute or prove my theory we would forever be at a stalemate on this particular argument.  

“Take the bread out and come back for another load, Mr. Cooper.”  My order was tempered by the lingering kiss I couldn’t help but give him.  “Our guests will be more likely to settle in faster with full bellies.”  

Surreal, that’s how dinner felt to me as I sat at the foot of our dining room table while Will sat at the head, J and Mira sat on one side and Frank flanked the woman he’d brought along - Sarah Ross - while Marvin Ross sat on her other side, the last to taste any of the food set before him - as if I’d poison guests in my home.  Frank Moses, a man I’d heard stories about long before I’d met Will - I tried to show no extra interest in the man, not with my overly observant husband keeping watch, but it was a difficult thing.  How would anyone manage such a task after the hero in their bedtime stories was plunked down to have dinner with them?  

Lucky for me, Sarah seemed as ill at ease as I felt, and while I grew quiet, she grew talkative.  

“So -” she smiled across the table at my children, both sitting straight and behaving as they were expected with people from Dad’s work in attendance.  “What grades are you guys in?”  

James answered first, his voice loud enough to be heard, but not too loud - Will’s pride shining as he listened to his son answer without faltering.  “I’m in ninth grade.”  He’d put his fork and knife down and was looking Sarah in the face.  Eye contact was important when carrying on a conversation, something we’d worked on after the bullying incident when Frank Moses had first come into Will’s orbit.  “I’m first string on the football team this year.” He was proud of that accomplishment, and so were we.  It had been a tough won feat, and J had earned it.  

Not to be outdone, Mira waited until her older brother finished, since we did have guests and etiquette was important, at least around strangers.  “And I’m in eighth.”  I smiled at Will, his eyes almost glowing across the full length of our table in pride.  “I prefer dance.” Her tiny chin went up a notch as if daring any of the trio across from her to argue that dance was a lesser endeavor than football.  

“Ballet or -” It was Marvin, not Sarah who asked the follow up and I shot a look his way to make certain it wasn’t coming at her in a mocking way, but he looked both sincere and interested - well knock me over with a feather.  

“I do ballet, but also tap, jazz, modern, hip-hop,” Mira’s smile grew as she spoke and so did mine.  I loved the passion that my children showed for anything - be it J’s football or love of drawing, or Mira’s need to move, watching them light up just from discussing it was enough to make me happy.  

“You’re quite the accomplished tiny dancer,” Marvin’s smile wasn’t one I might find safe if seen in the wild, but at my own table with my husband close at hand I found it kind.  

“And what do you do, Michelle?”  I wasn’t expecting it.  The question nor the person who asked it.  I know I flinched and I know that it wasn’t only caught by Will.  “I’m sorry, was that too forward of me?”  

“Not at all,” managing to find my smile again by focusing on J and Mira I turned to face Frank.  “I take care of my family, Mr. Moses.”

“She’s being modest,” Will cut in and my eyes flicked to him.  “She’s not JUST a housewife, not that there’s anything wrong with that.”  My eyes narrowed at the implication that anyone who made their family’s lives easier by being a homemaker was somehow less than, it was something Will had pointed out to me on multiple occasions.  “Chell writes.  She’s a published writer.”  His eyebrows rose as if to dare me to contradict him, but I couldn’t, he was telling the truth.  

“What have you written?”  Sarah, clearly someone who couldn’t stand silence - awkward or not - wanted more information.  “Maybe we’ve read it.”

“I’m sure you have,” Will’s smile was growing and my eyes were narrowing again.  The tease.  “She wrote ---”  And there it was, him literally removing my mask and letting these three know my nom de plume, my secret identity - I should have told him I was going to have to kill him.  

“Wow,” Sarah’s mouth dropped open and a large part of me hoped this meant she would be rendered speechless and dinner could go back to being eaten.  “That’s -”

“Impressive,” Frank’s eyes were on me, and I inhaled deeply and met his gaze.  “Where do you get your ideas?”  

Shit, I internally added money to the swear jar that we didn’t actively use anymore - and hadn’t for years now, but honestly.  Trust my husband to out me to this man, a man who he had NO idea was someone I’d known about for YEARS before he did, and now here were were face to face and HE wanted to now where I got MY ideas for books that - if someone wanted to hold a microscope up to them - bore a striking resemblance to a lot of what HE had a hand in over the years.  Fuck. 

“I have an EXCELLENT imagination.” I offered, thanking my genetics, my birth parents, and God above for the ability to lie the way I could.  

“Yeah, I guess you do,” he looked like he might believe me.  Maybe.  

I took a drink out of my glass of wine and swallowed carefully.  “Eat up, I’m sure you could use a good night’s rest.”  Because I sure as hell could. 

[lunawings]

Young of Prism #10 Kakeru

Read the original Japanese: http://www.pashplus.jp/anime/128891/ Previous: Hiro

Translator’s Notes: As you may have seen on my blog earlier, I struggled with this one because there was no furigana for Kakeru’s family member names. All of the other stories have had furigana, but for SOME reason, not this one. I got his grandfather Mantaro(万太郎)’s name from episode 4 of the SSS anime itself. I decided to go with Momojiro(百次郎) for his Dad because it seems most likely. For his Mom(千) though, I gave up. Being a simple, single character somehow makes it more difficult because there are too many possibilities... (Sen? Yuki? Chi?) If anyone finds a reliable Japanese source for these please let me know. 

Being a business man, or “salaryman” is a specific archetype in Japanese culture. A boring, tired shell of a person. Which is why the idea of a salaryman superhero is so funny (and kind of oddly endearing?). 

<#10 Kakeru>

“He lives in the suburbs of Kasukabe! He works at a minor trading company in Shinbashi, Tokyo! He has two kids! His wife works part-time at a local supermarket! He’s a businessman with a homeowner loan which will take 32 years to pay off! But... he has a secret identity... once he transforms.... BLAMO!”

With a loud crescendo the seemingly normal businessman took a swig of an energy drink, and with a sudden burst of dazzling light he began to transform...

“I will fight to erase debt! I will eradicate excess inventory! I am.... SUPER SALARYMAN ACE!”

* * * * * *

Wowie! Kazuo could barely contain his excitement. On the TV was the live action super hero program ”Super Salaryman Ace”! It was his absolute favorite DVD. He could watch it over and over again. For little Kazuo, since as long as he could remember was always studying with his private tutor for future exams, watching this DVD was the one thing he looked forward to the most. 

“Even if I only have 300 yen for lunch.... even if I keep getting my feet stepped on in a crowded commuter train.... even if I only get to drink happōshu once a week.... To protect my family, I won’t be letting any bad guys get in my way!”

Kazuo yelled out Salary Man Ace’s dialogue perfectly in time. 

“With my family photos kept close to my heart.... Take this! The once a month... Premium Beer Shower!”

“He did it!! He won!”

* * * * *

Ka-ching!

All of a sudden Kazuo heard the sound of the lock turning on the front door... Frantically he pressed the stop button on the remote and turned off the TV. Picking up the book he’d cast aside, he resumed reading.  

”Ahh where is it, where is it...”

It was his father Momojiro who came through the door. Kazuo breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, were you studying?”

“Yep! Welcome home, Dad! What’s wrong?”

“I just forgot something... hm?”

Kazuo looked up at his father happily.  However, the “Super Salaryman Ace” DVD was tossed carelessly by his side. 

“Ah!”

Kazuo did his best to hide the DVD case but he was too late.

“Heheh. You were watching it again, huh?”

“Yeah...”

Kazuo readily resigned to his fate. But for some reason Momojiro actually looked kind of happy. This was because the “Super Salaryman Ace” DVD was actually a secret gift from Momojiro to Kazuo. Momojiro had married into the Juuouin family and now was on the Juuouin Holdings company board of directors, but he was also just another businessman himself. He had sharp wits, a sincere heart, and rose to the top even among the mass quantity of fellow hires to become acknowledged by the company president, Mantaro. This was followed by being set up with his daughter, marriage, and a few years later the birth of Kazuo. Kazuo had inherited not only his father’s cleverness, because it turned out his father was also, a so-called.... “otaku”... 

Momojiro was an “otaku” before the term even existed. He’d hidden it from his wife for years. But then one day, while secretly watching a live action super hero show in his room, he was discovered by his son. Ever since then, under his father’s influence Kazuo had become a fellow otaku, and his weakness was watching such programs in his father’s room. Said room was a treasure trove of not only superheros, but also anime, trains, cars, robots, girls’ manga, video games, and idols galore. 

“I see, I see! So you really like it that much, huh?”

Momojiro had the same smiling face as Super Salaryman Ace did when he’d just solved a big case. 

“You know, your Dad likes this transformation pose as well...” Momojiro said as he skillfully struck the same pose as the hero on the DVD cover.

“Did you know? In episodes 13 and 14 the pose is actually backwards! That’s because there was a different actor in the suit. You see, at the live action show, they... oh!”

Momojiro suddenly realized he’d said too much as he noticed his son staring at him blankly. Kazuo hadn’t understood a word his father said. But even so, his eyes were still shining. 

“I want to be a great businessman when I grow up too!”

“I see, I see! ...But it’s pretty rough being a businessman, you know. You have to support everyone underneath you. Your failures are their failures. Even if you have a natural ability, you... ah, well, I should probably wait until you’re older...”

“No way! I like your stories, Dad. Mom’s stories are scary too, but... I like them!”

“Oh ho ho! I see, I see!”

Momojiro always spoke to Kazuo with a smile. Kazuo loved his Dad. 

* * * * *

Ka-ching! The sound of the lock turning once more.

“!!”

Momojiro and Kazuo mirrored each other’s frantic reaction. Momojiro stuffed the DVD case in his breast pocket.

“Welcome home, Mom!”

“Good to see you, Kazuo! Have you done your studying?”

“Yes, Mom!”

Kazuo’s mother turned to face her husband as her husband in turn tried to disappear into the couch.  

“...Oh?! What are you doing goofing off here?”

“I uh, I just forgot something.”

“What are you thinking! Get your butt back to the company right now and perform the simulation for the stockholders meeting tomorrow!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

As Momojiro shuffled his feet to the door the DVD case slipped from his jacket but was quickly scooped up and hidden by Kazuo.

“Well than Kazuo, I’ll be heading out as well. Love you!”

Kazuo was delighted when his mother kissed him lightly on the cheek. It was only for one brief moment, but just now he had gotten a moment alone with both his parents, just the three of them, and that brought him joy. 

Next: Kouji

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing Apr 1st - Apr 7th

Another week, another roundup! Special thanks to all who submitted works, both for themselves and others. 

As a gentle reminder, we’re here to highlight any new content from the previous week. If we missed a submission, we’ll be happy to update our post or carry it over to the next week, but if we tried to include everything beyond a week, we’d never get a post finished!

Thank you so much!

--Mod Rem

Fanfiction:

A Little Piece of Gundam Wing

The archive is being ported to AO3! Check it out!

AerisEithne

The Snow Queen 

Days after the incident that nearly sparked a new war, Relena returns to the Sanc Kingdom to contemplate her future. She can’t help but wonder which path the perfect soldier will choose… and whether their destinies will continue to collide.

Pairings: 1xR

Warnings: Gundam Wing: Frozen Teardrop, Preventers (Gundam Wing)

 @the-indomitable-bhg, Morbidbirdy

Animus

A ghost of Heero's past takes possession of his life, relationships and his identity.

Pairings: 1x3, 2xH

Warnings: Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Post-Canon, Psychological Torture, Blood and Violence, Explicit Sexual Content

@claraxbarton , @kangofu-cb

Bad Company 

"The only hell and the only paradise are the ones we build ourselves." - Unknown

Years after the wars, Preventers has decided to tackle one of the most powerful and oldest of all the Terran crime syndicates. Embedded dangerously deep in an undercover operation targeting the violent and bloodthirsty Sinaloa Cartel, Trowa Barton is pushed beyond even his flexible morals - and when his new "partner" arrives in the very unexpected and unwelcome form of Duo Maxwell, the one person he'd been trying to protect at all costs, both men must deal with the realization that preserving peace for humanity is turning into a bloodsport.

What follows is race against time to uncover the evidence they need to bring Sinaloa, and its beautiful but deadly leaders, down - all while keeping each other alive in the process

Pairings: 2x3

Warnings: Violence, Post-Canon, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Human Trafficking, Gang Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Moral Dilemmas

CosmicAether

Untitled GW Resistance AU 

When their communicator breaks down, Duo and Trowa must survive the night before attempting to rendezvous to their extraction point. Duo confronts Trowa about their relationship that night and vow to be more honest with each other, they need only to make it home first.

Pairings: 2x3

DarkDanc3r

April Writes Playlist Challenge 

30 days, 30 songs from a Spotify playlist. Characters and pairings will be at the start of each chapter.

Warnings: Tumblr Prompt, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Fix-It of Sorts, Damnit Prowl Lives

GlassAlice

The Pictures He Drew 

Hiatus is over! Last chapter will be up in two weeks. Re-write of a fic posted to 1x2 yahoo groups I wrote forever ago and lost. Only the bare bones of this fic have anything to do with the first one. Hopefully this one is a bit better. Originally posted under name Duos_hallelujah. Simple get together fic with Duo being an artist.

Pairings: 1xR, 1x2

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Song Fic Kinda, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, these boys are messed up, they need therapy, after war, the pilots trying to live their lives, 1x2, 2x1 - Freeform, 1x2x1, 1xR non con, 1x2 end game, we're back from hiatus, boys just trying to figure shit out, relena is kind of the bad guy, Sorry Not Sorry, i'm anti relena, so expect her to be treated badly, bullied duo, attempted suicide, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, language trigger warnings, a bit dark, Angst

Lithle

Like Oxygen 

Five years after the war, Wufei seeks Duo out for one more mission. But Duo has his reasons for wanting to be left alone. As Wufei and Duo grow closer, so do Duo's memories of the war, and with them, the old scars and dangerous thought patterns that make even breathing seem difficult.

--Note: Originally published on FF.net, this is my 'Editor's Choice' edition. It's been edited and slightly rewritten for flow and cohesion.

Pairings: 2x5

Warnings: Unhealthy Relationships, Post War Trauma, Suicidal Thoughts, no EW, Post-War, Post-Canon, POV Duo Maxwell, Explicit Language, Sex, Duo is Broken, Wufei is Pretty Broken Too, Gritty, Get Together

Luvsanime02

Just One Day 

Relena gets a surprise on her birthday.

Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Light Angst, Family Issues, Cocktail Friday

Maldoror

The Source of All Things

Center, a planet where magic and technology blend. Or more accurately, fight tooth and nail. A planet of Sources, holes in our boring dimension letting through arcane power, chaos and pseudo-deities. In this hot-house of myths and very real dangers, Trowa and Quatre find a mysterious man at the end of a shamanic voyage. Portents suggest this Heero Yuy is crucial to Center’s survival. He’s important enough to have some interesting enemies after him, at any rate: a devious killer and thief called ‘Shinigami’, and a very irate Dragon. Beyond them looms an even greater threat. Indeed, the greatest of them all.

Pairings: 3x4, 2x5, eventual 1x2x5

Warnings: Violence, alternative universe, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Plot Twists, fairly graphic depiction of sex, Mild description of self-harm, Mathematical Magic, weird science, crones - Freeform, Magic and Technology brawling and eventually screwing, Eventual Threesome, Kinda, Insanity of arcane origin, The universe is a pile of marbles and other dubious allegories

Two Halves

The two kingdoms of Sanq and Lin were at war for years; a conflagration involving magic, armies and political murder. The conflict left both nations devastated and strewn with refugees. The king of Sanq finds his infant son, lost at birth, among the death and the ruin, a miracle he barely dared to hope for. But there isn’t just one boy, there are two, clinging together like two halves of a whole that cannot be separated. Decades later, the truth behind that second child’s existence will put a hole in the world, or possibly save it.

Pairings: 1x2

Warnings: Fantasy AU, medieval setting with magic, starts with our heroes as children, Cousin Incest, sort of, eventually, being royalty this is in fact the norm and rather expected of them, Canon-Typical Violence

Margaret_Armstrong

Queen’s Rook 

Rook; definition:

1. a gregarious Eurasian crow with black plumage and a bare face, nesting in colonies in treetops.

2. a chess piece, typically with its top in the shape of a battlement, that can move in any direction along a rank or file on which it stands.

Queen's Rook; definition:

(chess) A rook on the queen’s side of the board at the start of the game.

Truly, a female bodyguard is just what the Vice Foreign Minister needs. There are dangers about.

Pairings: Canon Relationships, 3x4, 2xH, 1xR

Warnings: Violence, Women Being Awesome, brothers in arms, everyone protects Quatre except Quatre, L2 forever!, The Past Never Stays Buried

 @noelleian

The Pact 

After seducing Quatre, the other four ex-pilots brave the uncharted waters of their new abilities and learn to cope with the unintentional gifts they were given. But as always, power requires responsibility and the humbling acknowledgement of humanity's weaknesses. The struggle to stay true to themselves becomes a dangerous and terrifying endeavor as they skirt the boundary where conscience bleeds into chaos and the dark abyss of temptation.

Pairings: 1x2x3x4x5, 3x4, 1x4, 2x4, 4x5

Warnings: Smut, Porn With Plot, OT5, Fluff, Humor, Fivesome - M/M/M/M/M, Angst, Newtypes, Possessive Behavior, Alternate Universe - Dark, Non-Graphic Violence, Alpha/Omega, Omega Verse

Green Olive

Duo's had a rough day and needs to unwind, but this time he's in the mood for some company.

Warnings: Friendship, Bromance, Underage Drinking

@noirangetrois

Cocktail Friday

This will be a collection of my Cocktail Friday snippets.

Pairings: Various

Warnings: Cocktail Friday, Alcohol

The Story of Wrong 

Duo recounts his experiences during the war in order to explain... well, why he was wrong.

Pairings: 1x2

Warnings: Violence, Major Character Death, Duo POV, Angst, Drama, Tragedy, slight AU, Spoilers, very dark, Heero and Duo don't die, I promise, Yaoi, slowburn, Mental Instability, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, If those are in any way an issue for you then go ahead and skip this, Eventual Smut, VERY eventual, this is mostly canon-compliant but I've changed a couple things here and there

Outrightmight

MCU One Shot Series: After Colony 195 

"It took Bucky a split second to get his bearings. The portal had spit them out into an aircraft hanger. The make and model of the one and only small jet was unfamiliar. He would have said it was of Soviet make, but the 50-foot robot idly standing in the middle of the hanger was making him second-guess himself."

Warnings: Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Duo Maxwell, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Heero Yuy, Canon-Typical Violence, One Shot

@remsyk-blog

Souls for the Bayou 

For Trowa Barton, exploring the bayou is the ultimate adventure. Drawn to its borders since before he could walk, he spent his childhood learning its paths and uncovering its secrets.

But a chance encounter sets him on a path that spans across time, challenging everything he thought he knew, plunging him deeper into its mysteries than he ever thought possible.

Pairings: 2x3

Warnings: Supernatural - Freeform, Fae & Fairies, Fae Magic, Bayou, Cajun, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Mystery, Slow Burn, Technically Speaking, Young Love, Use of accents, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, I don't want to give it all away at once, Fandom Trumps Hate, Time Jump, Suspense, Quatre is a great friend, Mentions of Children Disappearing

Shenanigans

A Collection of my shitposts from Tumblr.

Enter looking for a good time. Expect the tags to change as more installments are added

Warnings: chat fic, shitpost, Professor!Trowa, Cooking, Pinterest, Pancakes, Exercising, Tumblr Prompt, Originally Posted on Tumblr, In depth analysis of riding dick, New Year’s Eve, Jenga, Stupid Dares, Just Heero Things

ShenLong

Bound, Bonded and Betrayed 

Heero is the eldest son of the King of Colonia. His 21st birthday is approaching and as tradition dictates his betrothed is soon to arrive. However he is also bound by tradition to select his own personal slave. The events that unfold lead him down a path that not only tests his sanity but his humanity and love as well.

Pairings: 1x2, 1xR, 3x4, 13x11

Warnings: sap, Angst, Bondage, Slavery, Yaoi, Lemon, Lime, Het, Violence, Fluff, AU, OOC. - Freeform

@softnocturne

P.S. I Miss You

Quatre is missing Trowa who is off on a month-long mission.

Pairings: 3x4

Warnings: Fluff, Angst

StarLove18

Believe in Yourself

Children will live what they learn. Pain is costly, until one incident sparks a new flame of hope and a promise to persevere.

Pairings: 1&2&3&4&5

Warnings: Original Character(s), Bullying, Comfort/Angst, School, Minor Violence, Loss of Parent(s), Alternate Universe, AO3 FB Challenge

Thai_tea_addict

Abyss

Duo's not in a good situation when he falls in love with the man next door, and it goes downhill from there.

Pairings: 1x2, 2x3x4

Warnings: Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-con, Alternate Universe - Dark, Dark Character, Abuse, Stalking, Murder, Sadism, Infidelity

Warnings: DARK – please don't read if you think any of the following subject matter could hurt you: depictions of abuse, sexual assault, stalking, murder, sadism (not the fun kind).

Whenpigsfly84

Doormat Babe

A mysterious child is left with Duo one morning. As he seeks for answers he'll have to face his past and prepare for a haunting future he'd never expected. Will he be able to reconnect with old friends or will he lose all those he loves?

Pairings: 1x2, 2&H, 1x2x5, 3x4

Warnings: Violence, Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Swearing

White_fox

Life is a Highway 

On an impulsive plan to travel from California to New York City to propose to his longtime girlfriend, Heero Yuy did not plan to pick up a hitchhiker in nowhere Texas. Faced with some setbacks and a growing attraction to his passenger, Heero goes through more challenges than he planned on facing.

Pairings: 1x2, 1xR

Warnings: light slash, Fluff, Road Trips, Dubious Morality

Snippets:

@lifeaftermeteor

Duo’s Apartment

@noirangetrois

Ladies Night

@weiclown

WIP  

Headcanons / Meta / Discussions:

@remsyk-blog

Gundam Wing on Ao3 - Breakdown of Fanfiction stats 

 @terrablaze514

Ladies of Gundam Wing 

Secret Magic Heero Yuy 

Four Months after Mariemaia 

Fanart:

@noelleian

Zero Three Zero Four

Hipster Quatre 

@remsyk-blog

Duo Maxwell Hip Hop

 @showtime-eric

Trowa and Quatre, Sandrock and Heavyarms

 Crackposts:

@the-indomitable-bhg

BDSM 

Calendar Events:

Cocktail Friday

https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/

A new prompt every Monday!

Submissions should be posted Fridays between 3 and 5pm EST, and tagged with @gwcocktailfriday

Interview with a Creator by @remsyk-blog @interview-with-a-creator

Remsyk has created an online interview for fandom creators to fill out and then she features one each week so that everyone in the fandom can learn a bit about each other.

This week features @scacao

If you haven’t filled out her interview, go! do! now!

[muthur9000]

The Poetry Of BLADE RUNNER 2049

Warning: This piece contains major Blade Runner 2049 spoilers. “Sometimes to love someone you gotta be a stranger.” By PRISCILLA PAGE Oct. 14, 2017

But in the case / Of my white fountain what it did replace / Perceptually was something that, I felt, / Could be grasped only by whoever dwelt / In the strange world where I was a mere stray.

Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire

In Pale Fire, the fictional poet John Shade sees a tall white fountain during a near-death experience - the image’s “presence always would / Console [him] wonderfully.” Later Shade reads about a woman in a magazine who came close to death, who visited “the Land Beyond the Veil” and also glimpsed a “tall white fountain” there. Shade finds the woman to share this with her, only to discover it was a misprint - it was not a “fountain” but a “mountain” that she saw. But the error changes nothing: the image of the tall white fountain had meaning not because it had some objective significance, not because it was empirical proof of an afterlife, but because Shade ascribed meaning to it. The fictional scholar annotating John Shade’s poem, Dr. Charles Kinbote, writes: “We all are, in a sense, poets.”

And Denis Villeneuve’s Blade Runner 2049 is a poem. It’s a neo-noir about the mystery of the self, empathy, connection, how we define what’s real, whether it matters at all. And it’s a love story about a replicant and a digital woman. Screenwriter Hampton Fancher explained that, “[K] is a handbook. He follows the rules. He’s a machine in a way. But the image was this: A handbook turns into a poem through his experiences and his ordeal and love. And the same thing with the digital woman.” While retiring an old-model replicant, Ryan Gosling’s blade runner K discovers the skeleton of a replicant who bore a child: a miracle. His superior, Lieutenant Joshi (Robin Wright), orders him to find and kill the child. But the mystery evolves when K begins to think he might be this miracle child of Rachael (Sean Young) and Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford). He finds Deckard living in a rundown casino, hoping his questions will be answered. He meets Deckard’s dog, who has a taste for whiskey. “Is it real?” K inquires. Deckard responds: “I don’t know. Ask him.” Deckard’s answer is a joke, but it’s also a kōan that illuminates Blade Runner 2049.

Unlike the ambiguity of Deckard’s identity, K knows that he’s a replicant. The people who inhabit his world are shadows. The LAPD, Niander Wallace’s corporation, and a replicant rebellion are three dehumanizing forces in conflict: bureaucracy, capitalism, war. Lieutenant Joshi believes in a wall between humankind and replicants, and the preservation of order at any cost. She wants the miracle child killed, erased. The replicant rebellion wants the child alive, but Hiam Abbass’s Freysa wants Deckard dead in order to keep her identity safe. And “industrialist” Niander Wallace (Jared Leto) wants the child so he can dissect her to reveal Tyrell’s secret to creating replicants capable of reproduction. He envies women’s natural ability to create. He’s a Dr. Frankenstein without figurative or literal vision. More than a scientist or a visionary, he is a capitalist commodifying beings, a colonist who wants humans to conquer the stars with replicant slaves. Wallace eviscerates a newborn replicant because she’s incapable of procreating. “A barren pasture. Dead space between the stars,” he explains, reducing his “angel” to her reproductive function.

Blade Runner 2049’s world is haunted by Niander Wallace’s intentions, by dehumanization, by the ghosts of digital women. This is a world where an orphanage is found in the city’s waste-processing district, its children reduced to slave laborers. This is a dystopian hell for women as well, but it foresees a future that belongs to them. Carla Juri’s Dr. Ana Stelline, the miracle child, is a woman, a revelation that subverts our story - and gender - expectations. And the miracle of Dr. Stelline is not just in the details of her birth, but in her empathy. At Stelline Laboratory, she lives in a glass case, manufacturing memories for replicants, creating literal joy for her kind, each memory an act of love, an art form. It is illegal to implant real memories, but Stelline does it anyway, sharing her own happy memories with them. Replicants live such hard lives, she explains to K, but at least she can give them good memories.

Dr. Stelline is perhaps Blade Runner 2049’s only remarkable character. No one shines like Rutger Hauer’s magnetic Roy Batty, and no one should. Roy Batty was Blade Runner’s Byronic hero, like Satan in Paradise Lost - and in saving Deckard’s life, he became a Christ figure. But K is Kafka’s Joseph K, navigating alienation, disorientation, anxiety, and banality in an absurd, bureaucratic, deadening universe. K is a replicant engineered to obey, “happy scraping the shit because [he’s] never seen a miracle,” but he becomes an “it” who aspires to be a “he” when he starts to believe he’s the miracle. K wishes he had a name, a mother. K hopes that he was born and not made, because then he might have a soul. Joshi tells him: “You’ve been getting on fine without one.”

Screenwriter Michael Green explained that Blade Runner 2049 was about a “character’s aspiration toward ascension.” Like John Shade discovering that his near-death vision was not shared, K realizes that his memory of a wooden horse didn’t belong to him after all. It means he is not Rachael’s child, that he’s not a miracle, not special after all, but it no longer matters. The moment K thinks he is more and wants to be more, he becomes more. His perception is reality. It reprograms him.

Discussing K’s digital companion Joi (Ana de Armas), Green said, “since we are defined by what we love, what [K] loved needed a story as well.” To the world, K is just a “skinjob.” To Joi, he’s a poem. She calls his DNA “the alphabet of you.” She tells him, “I always knew you were special.” If replicants are considered a secondary species, these digital women are tertiary, even more reviled. The sex worker Mariette (Mackenzie Davis) tells her, “I’ve been inside you. Not so much there as you think.”

Mariette’s comment reflects the disdain this world has for A.I. like Joi, but it also reveals that, like K, Joi believes she is more. Some will always doubt Joi’s sentience. But Joi loves the emanator, the gift that allows her to roam. She feels pleasure seeing raindrops on her digital skin. There is real wonder on her face when she looks out the window of K’s car, seeing the city and the sky for the first time, a response that isn’t for K’s benefit. Hiring Mariette so she can be intimate with K is her idea. “I want to be real for you,” she tells him. He responds: “You are real for me.” And she risks everything for K when she asks him to delete her from his apartment console so no one can use her memories to find him.  She will only exist on the emanator, and if something happens to it, K explains, she will be gone. “Yes, like a real girl,” she responds. Joi’s death is a kind of Rorschach or a Voight-Kampff for the audience, testing whether we respond as if she’s a being with feelings, whether we empathize, grieve. Like Deckard’s dog kōan, if Joi perceives that she is “a real girl,” that she has a self, that she loves K, if her suffering and her wonder and her love feel real to her, then she is a real being with consciousness, as real as a replicant, a dog, or a human.

K’s love for Joi parallels Deckard’s love for Rachael. Niander Wallace’s hench-replicant Luv (Sylvia Hoeks) calls Rachael “unremarkable,” but Deckard disagrees. When Wallace offers him a cloned replicant of Rachael in exchange for his child, Deckard declines. She’s not the same. “I know what’s real,” he tells Wallace. She was special, remarkable, irreplaceable because Deckard loved her. K experiences the same disconnect in the scene that follows: he meets a giant advertisement for another Joi. She looks like his Joi, calls him “a nice Joe” as Joi once did, but it’s not the same for him, either. In this moment, maybe K questions whether his Joi ever really loved him at all. But maybe it doesn’t matter, because the love he felt for her was real. This Joi is not the same as his Joi. It’s the moment K decides to pursue Deckard - not to follow Freysa’s orders to kill him, but to help Deckard meet his daughter.

Freysa tells K: “dying for the right cause is the most human thing we can do.” To her, the “right cause” is war against humankind. To Joi and K, the right cause is love. Joi risks her existence and dies trying to protect K. K dies for love, but it’s not his own - it’s for the love of a father and a child, near-strangers to him. He knows that he isn’t the chosen one, and he helps Deckard meet Stelline regardless. In a pale echo of Roy Batty’s death scene, he dies alone, without the monologue or audience afforded Batty. Just the pleasure of feeling snow on his skin for the last time. Inside Stelline Laboratory, digital snow falls in Stelline’s glass case, and her wonder at this false snow is just as real as K’s. Though K may not be special in the way that Stelline is, K’s selfless act and his shared experience of snow with Stelline make this moment feel sacrosanct.

In his search for Deckard, K finds himself walking through the ruins of a city suffocated by radioactive yellow haze. A bee lands on his hand. He continues on and finds apiaries of bees, and he lets the bees cover his hand. The bees echo the replicants, the concept of hive mind. But they also represent hope, connection, “cells interlinked.” The bee is such a small, seemingly insignificant thing, with an enormous purpose: sustaining life. “Do you dream about being interlinked?” the post-traumatic baseline test asks K. The question essentially asks whether K dreams of being, whether he dreams of being connected to others. When Blade Runner 2049 begins, K is literally asleep at the wheel, and he doesn’t even consider the old-model replicant Sapper Morton his own kind, he passes the baseline test. But the handbook becomes a poem. By the film’s end, K rejects Niander Wallace’s idea of replicants as a “product,” he rejects Freysa’s commitment to war between species, he rejects Joshi’s notion that there’s a “wall” between beings. “We’re all just looking out for what’s real,” Joshi tells K. And what’s real to K is love.

[howtohero]

#247 Shared Identities

A lot of stock is put into superhero names. They need to be cool. They need to be identity-concealing. They can’t just be your own name with the word “super” in front of them. Even if that would actually make a really cool codename. Like, if your birth name was Krusher your superhero name couldn’t be Super Krusher. Which sucks. But the reality is that with superheroes having been around for decades (if not centuries, it depends who you ask) most of the really cool codenames have already been taken. This has led to some heroes becoming legacies, taking on the name of an older, retired (or dead {or zapped into the Zeroth Dimension for all time}) hero. Other heroes have said “Bah! Why wait for someone to die? There’s no reason we can’t start sharing codenames now!” These heroes have established shared identities, or collective pseudonyms as they are sometimes called.

(Shared identities should not be confused with the concept of “standins” where a hero will don the identity of a colleague while that hero is on vacation or temporarily deceased.)

One of the most famous shared identities dates back to 1935 when a group of French (well, mostly French, one of them was a cone-headed alien but that’s basically the same thing) mathematicians decided that none of them had cool enough names to get published on their own so they banded together under the name, Nicolas Bourbaki, which is still not like the coolest name, but Super Krusher was already taken so. At first, the members of this Bourbaki Group did nothing more than rigorously study and make major breakthroughs in mathematics. (Along with pulling the occasional prank, which is exactly what you would do too if you could attach someone else’s name to it and remain completely blameless.) Then, one day, rather coincidentally, all nine founders of the group gained superpowers.

(Ok, I’m sure you’re gonna ask about this so let’s just get this out of the way: Henri Cartan: struck dead on by a radioactive meteor. Claude Chevalley: Sneezed weirdly. Jean Coulromb: Made a deal with Satan which gave him beautiful hair forever and also the power to shoot flames from his hands. Jean Dieudonné: Legally adopted, as an adult, by a tribe of magical leopards who taught him how to use their magical leopard powers for good. Charles Ehresmann: Made a wish on a shooting star. {actually the radioactive meteor that struck Henri Cartan.} René de Possel: During a freak mathematical accident, the number 8 came to life and offered her a chance to become a godlike being and she took it. Szolem Mandelbrojt: Secretly had superpowers the entire time but once everyone else showed up with powers, he pretended that he’d also just gotten them too. André Weil: Didn’t actually get powers but he pretended he did for a surprisingly long time.)

With these newfound powers the members of Nicolas Bourbaki decided to fight crime in addition to their way boring math day jobs. Realizing that they had a chance to not only create a legendary mathematician, but also a legendary superhero, they decided to operate under a single superheroic moniker: Nicolas Bourbaki Woman. (René de Possel won a nine-way game of rock/paper/scissors for the privilege of choosing that name.) Together Nicolas Bourbaki Woman became one of the most successful French superheroes of all time. Since they were actually nine people they gave the appearance of being able to be in nine places at once which severely curbed any criminal’s desire to even attempt a crime in France.

That’s generally the motivation behind any shared identity superhero, expanded reach. If you share an identity with other people, then you can pretty much eliminate many of the human problems that affect most superheroes. You can be in multiple places at once. There never needs to be a break in your coverage, since when one person needs to rest, someone else can simply take over. Your superhero identity can even appear next your civilian identity as long as one of your partners is wearing the costume, thus ensuring that nobody ever guesses any of your secret identities.

Another reason why many heroes might choose to operate under a single identity is to spread out the privileges and reputation of one great hero over many individuals. Think of it like this: let’s say you get a Netflix account. Then you share the password with your brother, who then shares it with his boyfriend, who then shares it with his roommate, who then shares it with his weird aunt who can’t get enough of those Adam Sandler movies. You now have many individuals operating under a single Netflix username. What was once only accessible to one person is now accessible to the whole dang community because they’re all using the same information. Avid followers of this blog will remember that we actually set up a shared police officer identity that any superhero can use for exactly this purpose. (For those of you who don’t remember, Claude Von Howitzer is a police officer who is famous for constantly changing his appearance save for his incredibly fake looking mustache. Other things Officer Von Howitzer is famous for is losing evidence that might incriminate superheroes and always offering his fellow police officers free cupcakes. You can can become him whenever you need! For free! You’re welcome.)

If you’re going to create a collective pseudonym, it is important to keep track of who is part of the collective. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Clifftown, Illinois. Clifftown was home to a superhero named The Blue Violet (of “roses are red, violets are blue” fame) who, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, was actually a sixteen-member improv group. (They’d accidentally “yes, and”ed themselves into becoming crime fighters, as often happens.) As time went on, they made great strides in their community and inspired people all around them to be the best versions of themselves that they could be. As it would happen, for many of those people, being the best version of themselves meant becoming superheroes, and each of the members of The Blue Violet ended up inducting several other citizens into the collective. Long story short, eventually the entire city was just The Blue Violet, unbeknownst to most everybody else in the city. Gosh, you should’ve seen their faces when they realized that they were all wearing the costume in their spare time. Priceless.

You also don’t want a supervillain to worm their way into the collective. (You also do not want a worm to supervillain their way into the collective, but that rarely happens so we hardly need to go into any more detail about what that might entail.) If a supervillain manages to start using your name and costume they can easily undo all the good your shared identity has done. It only takes someone wearing your costume shooting one mayoral candidate on live television to wipe away any goodwill the rest of you may have generated. So you also want to make sure that nobody in your shared identity turns evil later on. To prevent this, regularly check in with your fellow identity-bearers. Make sure they’re doing ok, and just generally chat with them about life. If they seem like they’re feeling down, advise them to take some time off. After all, that’s part of the beauty of having multiple people use one identity. If everyone in your group feels seen and cared for, the odds of them one day snapping and becoming a supervillain dramatically decreases. Or you can make everybody sign a contract in their blood to promise that they’ll never use your shared identity for evil. Both options are equally valid. (But they are not equally kind and they are not equally hardcore.)

Shared identities are useful but they are not for everybody. If you’ve ever wanted to rack up the accomplishments and acclaim of nine superheroes while only doing one ninth of the work, then you should look into forming a shared identity. If you don’t like the idea of someone else wearing your costume and having any sort of influence over how the public perceives you, then you should not do that and you’ll have to come up with your own unique identity. (If you live in Clifftown, Illinois, you are already part of a shared identity. You just don’t know it yet!) 

[royalxiii]

VIII Days Till Kingdom Hearts III

Kingdom Hearts χ //  Unchained χ // Union χ - The VIIIth Game in the Series

The VIIIth Playable Character (excluding multiplayer) - Master Aqua

Axel - The Flurry of Dancing Flames // Number VIII

Number VIII’s Weapons - Chakrams: Eternal Flames

The VIIIth Union Leader - Ventus

Ansem’s Report VIII:

“There is no doubt that the Heartless are deeply connected to the people's hearts. Further study may unravel both their motivations and the mysteries shrouding the heart.

As a start, I have built a device that artificially creates Heartless. By recreating the conditions that spawn the Heartless naturally, I should be able to produce them artificially. This device is the culmination of all my research thus far. The machine's test run successfully created a Heartless.

This may be a step toward creating a heart from nothing. The artificially and naturally created Heartless showed nearly identical traits. But the two types remain distinct for the purpose of the experiment. So, I will mark the ones that are created artificially.“

Secret Ansem’s Report VIII:

“It appears that I have been too distracted by the behavior of Xehanort and his cohorts, and the events occurring in their vicinity.

My friends' struggle to protect the realm of light from the threat of Heartless is now over, with Xehanort's Heartless—going by the name Ansem, Seeker of Darkness—defeated at last.

The other wielder of the Keyblade, this "hero," traveled from world to world sealing up keyholes and laying Heartless low.

Meanwhile, the King, who had dived into the realm of darkness, worked with the Keyblade-wielding hero to close the door to Kingdom Hearts from the realms of both darkness and light, thus holding off the threat of tremendous darkness.

But there are still a great number of Heartless afoot, and Organization XIII and the Nobodies continue to be active in the shadows.

Indeed, the world is still a very dangerous place.

We must find a way to do battle with these enemies.

Thus I will both make amends and have my revenge.

It is for this reason that I infiltrated Castle Oblivion.

It consists of 13 floors above and 12 floors below ground, with the contents of its "White Rooms" transforming in response to its visitors' memories. Organization XIII was conducting experiments on memory here.

The subject in these experiments, a girl named Naminé, appeared to possess extremely unusual abilities.

Were they attempting to derive something from these powers?

Refusing to be distracted by Organization XIII, I had returned to my own secret research when a new visitor appeared at the castle today.

It was Sora, the Keyblade-wielding hero who had defeated Ansem, and his companions.

Deep underground, the stench of darkness arose.

All the players are coming together, it would seem.”

Xehanort’s Report VIII:

“My brother pupil Eraqus thinks only in absolutes. He has persuaded himself that light is the only way, but forgets that light cannot exist without shadow. I believe a balance of light and darkness is what sustains our World, but too much of the darkness has been stamped out, disrupting that balance. Someone must tear down this tyranny of light and reorganize the World around the darkness which then creeps back in.

Eraqus and I did not see eye to eye. I left, and wandered the World. This was perhaps the first time I felt truly free since that day I departed my boyhood home. But free to do what? I had already shown the Mark and become a Keyblade Master—but having been passed over as Successor, all that remained to me was the road of teacher.

Ordinarily, Keyblade Masters take pupils under their wings, malleable minds in which to impress the precepts of the Keyblade wielder and keep our profession alive for generations to come. Was my time drawing to an end, then, after all I had accomplished since casting away the place of my birth? Surely waiting for a quiet death would not do, not when there was still so much I needed to see for myself. Powers help me, I thought, my body is so old...“

Roxas’ Diary - Entry VIII:

“I teamed up with No. XIV again today. We finally talked a little—Xion even said my name for the first time.

Afterwards I had ice cream by myself again. The lady at the shop said you can trade the WINNER stick for an extra bar. But I can't eat more than one.“

Secret Report VIII - Axel: 

“Seems like we're getting new members every day. No. XIII was a boy, Roxas. Now we've got a No. XIV, Xion.

Today's mission was to show Roxas the ropes. I feel like they've had me babysitting him since he got here. He's not a bad kid, but he's spacey. Good fighter, though. At least I won't be bored.“

No. VIII

“A Heartless buried in the ground, waiting to be pulled out.

Once you pull it out, keep attacking until it's dead. Make sure you don't drop it!”

The VIIIth Summon in the Series - Chicken Little

The VIIIth Playable World in Kingdom Hearts - Monstro

The VIIIth Floor in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories - Never Land

The VIIIth Basement Floor in Kingdom Hearts: Reverse/Rebirth - Never Land

The VIIIth Playable World in Kingdom Hearts II - Timeless River

The VIIIth Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days - Never Land

The VIIIth Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep // Terra - Disney Town

The VIIIth Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep // Ven & Aqua - Olympus Coliseum

The VIIIth Playable World in the Kingdom Hearts: χ Saga - Enchanted Dominion

The VIIIth Enemy in each Game, as listed by the Journal

Yellow Opera (KHFM)

Powerwild (KHRe:CoM)

Trick Ghost (KH2FM)

Berserker (KH2FM)

Sapphire Elegy (KHDays)

Spiderchest (KHBbSFM)

Blue Rhapsody (KHRe:Coded)

Toximander (KH3D)

Demon Tower (KH0.2)

Yellow Opera (KHUX)

The VIIIth Keyblade Collected in each Game (results may vary)

Fairy Harp (KHFM)

Crabclaw (KHRe:CoM)

Oathkeeper (KH2FM)

Abyssal Tide (KHDays)

Pixie Petal (KHBbS - Terra)

Hyperdrive (KHBbS - Ventus & Aqua)

Oathkeeper (KHRe:Coded)

Counterpoint (KH3D)

Moogle O’ Glory (KHUX)

Images from KHWiki & KHInsider

[goddamnwebcomics]

Predicting Spinnerette Arcs 26-35

Everyone except very delusional people know that Spinnerette is going downhill. With it’s current asinine plots, the fact the whole comic seemed to lose it’s serious plot-related grasp after Colonel Class arc, and it’s stupid awful artstyle drawn by a guy who keeps altering the designs of characters - let’s call him P. C. Dimbleby - and actual script calls for chibi faces, things aren’t honestly looking good for the Asylum version of Empowered. But hey, Kraw’s printing money with merch involving scantily clad protagonists and porn comics that are canon so nothing’s gonna be a problem for him!

With that said, it’s pretty easy to call what he has in his mind next, and here i will predict the plot of every issue from 26 to 35. Let’s begin.

Issue 26: The Return Of Jara

It’s revealed that before Spinny, Mecha Maid dated a man who was abusive towards her and made her become a lesbian. The said man is now working in the same science lab place as Heather, and the man titled Jara - who looks like a Biff Tannen with classic P.C. Dimbleby hooknose, by pure accident runs into her. Jara grows fondness for Spinny, thinking she is single. After several irritating catcalls, Heather wants to bring Jara to comfort HER love. Heather forgets that secret identities are a thing that must be protected, and in her futile ALS form, she comes to see Jara again. Jara calls her buzzwords which are meant to make audience angry, allowing Heather to transform into Spinny and beat the crap out of him. Mecha likes it for some reason and they get away with it, because turns out Jara had been stealing scientific tools from the lab in order to make moonshine and the cops think Spinny was beating him up for that reason. Their relationship “develops” and Kraw wants to inform you he is not like most guys and he is single ladies.

Issue 27: Colonel Glass 2: Part 1

North Korea has done some nuclear tests, which pisses off America and it’s anti-superhero and anti-fun and anti-allthingsKrawlikes president Meanie D. T. Incompetent. He teams up with prime minister of Canada, who is a topical Rob Ford parody despite the fact dude died several years ago, in order to use the “superity” from the local superheroes to recreate Cherenkov-Kirby Reactor or something which could wipe N.K. off the map. However, the superheroes know MORE THAN THAT, Benjamin Franklin returns to reveal the nuclear tests are actually massive attacks performed by Colonel Glass 2. Turns out N.K. had a bodyclone of Colonel Glass in case he would die in his trip, which he did. Benjamin also tells the heroes to watch out for government who are trying to do something with “superity”, we get exposition that the first superhero that did CK reactor basically created superheroism by using his blood to create the reactor, which gave birth to “superity”, more “superity” they have, the stronger they are and so far CK Reactor is the only one that can infect being with “superity” but governments all around the world are looking for other ways to make it. Because governments are hypocrites, says Kraw as he pats himself in the back and thinks he’s about to create the next Brave New World. Superheroes get canadian superfucks to help them because of course they do.

We cut to Colonel Glass 2 doing shit, turns out he shares the memories of Colonel Glass 1, including the memories from before he died? and develops perverse fondness for Mecha Maid, he starts flying towards America as all glass around the world go haywire. Spinny, Mecha Maid, Tiger, London, Minerva, Katt O Nine Tails and Green Gable try to sneak with their supercar when Sergeant Generic notices them, he sends Noob Saibot after them. Meanie D.T. Incompetent finds out about the escapees and proceeds to BOMB THEM AND NOT CARE ABOUT CASUALTIES because that’s how politicians in real life work. Cliffhanger.

Issue 28: Colonel Glass 2: Part 2

Spinny and rest of superheroes survive the attacks and reach the Atlantic, where they bump into a weird group of rejects with really one sided personalities, one is a character meant to point out the flaws of Netflix series Daredevil which Kraw seriously thinks he could write better, other one is a friendly zombie girl and another is a quirky scene girl who licks things and a wacky running gag is that Mecha Maid finds her creepy. They reveal they are South Korean Superheroes who were almost killed by Original Colonel Glass and set up a base in the atlantic. They were before experimented with CK Reactor and therefore have more “superity” than any other superhero on the planet besides Colonel Glass 2. Meanwhile President Incompetent decides to start a war against the entire continent of Asia, considering them all “anime-watching rice eaters who did Pearl Harbour” because Kraw never puts stereotypes in his own characters. American War Fleet flies past the superfucks, and canadians and Tiger stay in the base while the SK heroes and Spinny and Mecha Maid go after them. They all get destroyed in one hit by Colonel Glass 2. Spinny, Mecha Maid and SK heroes somehow survive the blast but turns out it was INTENTIONAL as Colonel Glass 2 finds Mecha Maid to torture her. Spinny is mad. Cliffhanger.

Issue 29: Colonel Glass 2: Part 3

President Meanie D.T. Incompetent has HAD ENOUGH and demands Sergeant Generic to call some abnormal guy to help them set up the CK Reactor Weapon properly that can wipe out CG2. Because world is small, Generic calls Dr. Universe, who agrees to let past be past in face of common threat, but also wants to manipulate them into following their objectivist goals. Mecha Maid wakes up in a dark room, where she gets fed memories and other shit, that Kraw wants you to think resembles sexual harassment geddit Kraw knows your feelings Kraw understands Kraw is a friend. Bullshit happens as Spinny’s anger manifests inside him and transforms him into a giant golden spider creature, one of the SK Superfucks say “this is like Dragon Ball Z episode” and at that point you know where this is fucking going. Spinny tears inside Glass’s base conveniently and a long climactic fight ensues, ending with Glass 2 dying by thermite again. Spinny becomes normal again and wakes up in the SK fleet, where Mecha Maid is mad at her for once again murdering someone. Mecha then cries it was her own fault and crying crying crying. Dr. Universe fools Meanie D.T. Incompetent as he calls Super MILF and Greta Gravity to sex him out of working on the weapons! Ha ha! This is a serious comic!

Issue 30: Boring Prequel

This story is a prequel to the first ever case of “Superity”, which takes place in Wild West, in yet another stupid unimaginative alternate universe twist, Buffalo Bill was a superhero, and from there it’s shown how first CK Reactor was made, but the first superhero whose name i forgot is warned of “them”, who are “they”? You’ll find out soon enough.

Issue 31: Critical Analysis

Spinny has returned home with a bad feeling, and she’s got strange aches all over her body. Turns out the Friendly Zombie Girl is there to investigate upon Spinny as she reveals to her both of them are “Stanisian”, people who are full of “superity” which is just Stanisian blood, and are unable to toggle their powers off. Spinny somehow became stanisian by CK Reactor because before stanisians were only by birth only which intrigues the zombie girl. She reveals what happened in the last arc was her exposing her “Ultra Stanisian Power” which only comes into effect over strong stress. Heather also finds out Stanisians never die, as SK zombie girl was the first child of Genghis Khan. Stanisians have existed since humanity’s beginning, but only when CK Reactor was created, humans could get “superity” AKA Stanisian blood too. The reason most humans don’t know about them is because they’re the mortal enemy of “Enlightened”, perfect humans who have ability to manipulate people and are omnipotent but don’t have superpowers, Enlightened have controlled the world by their secret society - you guessed it - the Illuminati since the old times in order to wipe out Stanisians but they always fail.

First thing Spinny realizes after all of this is that, she can cure Mecha Maid by transforming her into Stanisian! Friendly Zombie Girl advices this is not a good idea because exposing a human to too much superity could kill them, and types like Heather are a rarity. Spinny can’t convince Mecha though, who just gets madder so Spinny asks help from Universe. Universe reveals he knew about Stanisians all along and he constructed CK Reactor so that he could in fact turn more people into them so that the Illuminati could be taken down. It’s revealed Ayn Rand was against the Illuminati and the infamy of the book is a pop culture propaganda. What. They begin working on it. Cliffhanger.

Issue 32: The Lesbian Torment

Adrastea and Sara NIcole meet on same jailcell, they fall in love because Sara Nicole hasn’t eaten her anti-gay bagels. Their relationship is meant to be “different” as in, “it’s same shit as Mecha’s and Spinny’s relationship, except they’re both more aggressive”. They fool the guards by making out and escape.

Issue 33: Critical Analysis Part 2:

Dr. Universe takes a bit of blood from Friendly Zombie Girl as she has finished the POCKET SIZED CK REACTOR. Then government rushes in with Sergeant Generic on helm and Universe as well as Spinny get arrested. They’re taken in front of Illuminati, who are ready to literally wipe them out of existence because oh cool Kraw read 1984 just now. Friendly Zombie Girl wasn’t arrested and Greta takes her to bite Mecha Maid, curing her by all of her fucking problems and she becomes Ultra Stanisian, saving Spinny and Universe. Illuminati finds out THE INFESTATION IS SPREADING. At this point it’s also revealed N.K. Government is actually propaganda’d as shitty dictator state because they refused to join the New World Order and is the only state ran by Stanisians.

Issue 34: War Of Minds

A kickstarted exclusive story focusing on SK Superheroes, with Daredevil potshotter dating the other. Boring.

Issue 35: Revenge of Revenge

Life has become harder for Spinny to keep double identities when Sara Nicole and Adrastea butt in to cause chaos. Adrastea wants to nuke science facilities while Sara Nicole wants everyone to like her. They nag like an arguing couple, isn’t that funny. It ends with Mecha Maid dying as Spinny cries, when she wakes up to find out it has all been a drug-induced dream and she remembers when she went to comfort Mecha Maid after Colonel Glass Arc, she threw Heather off the bed and beat the ever-living shit out of her, before she got a massive heart attack and passed away, with her last words being “I wish i never met you.” Heather wants to go back into these dreams when she finds out she’s been carried to hospital, where Sahira states that she’s been diagnozed with a rare variation of ALS that is contagious. Haw haw.

[sintrovert]

Sherlock: A Case of Mistaken Identity

Sherlock, once a groundbreaking, imaginative and exceedingly clever show, now grapples with one of the simplest aspects of any story: characterization.

As a previous mega-fan of the show in its prime of seasons one and two, season three was a mild disappointment, The Abominable Bride was just plain silly, and season four has just devolved this show into a faux-clever case, cheesy transitions, useless drama, and characters that are unrecognizable.

Spoilers for season four, episode one, The Six Thatchers, are under the cut.

To preface, I did go in to this episode with a negative view, stemming from my previous toxic experiences with fans of the show and my less than stellar opinion of The Abominable Bride, but Sherlock exceeded my wildest expectations. A show once my favorite, a show I would spend hours agonizing over, has fallen into the trap most shows face: it’s just plain bad. 

Let’s start off with the most basic aspect of a Sherlock episode: the case. 

The Six Thatchers was lifted directly from the original Conan-Doyle story of The Six Napoleons. Someone has been going around, smashing Thatcher busts. Makes sense, Thatcher wasn’t the most well-liked person. Sherlock, of course, has to repeat over and over that Sherlock doesn’t know who she is, because obviously we all need to be reminded that he’s oblivious, doesn’t care about most things, blah, blah, etc. 

So Sherlock goes hunting for whoever keeps busting the busts, and comes upon the culprit (while trespassing in some man’s house, who apparently either has really good earplugs or is deaf). They tousle, get some quality pool-fight action, and Sherlock smashes the bust, only to find the missing pearl of the Borgi--wait. PLOT TWIST! It’s actually a flash drive!! The same one Mary had! Hmm?? Sherlock’s adversary then spends a minute to fill him in instead of say, running away, and BOOM, Mary’s wanted dead. 

Of course, we later find out that Mary was just a simple assassin who went by a code name that she later gave her daughter (not suspicious, the many people hunting her down would never be able to find that out through public records and birth certificates) and who kept literally all of her information and secrets on  one flash drive that had no backup and was a huge liability, and she believed her partners to be dead and actually didn’t sell them out, because it was the minute-taker who used Latin as a codeword for some reason and who loved the aquarium. So, that was that. That was the whole case. 

Now let’s focus on Mary, or Rosemund Mary, or whoever the hell she really is. Based off of this episode, the show should be renamed Mary, as most of it revolved around her. Now, disclaimer, I’ve wanted her dead since she shot Sherlock. I also wanted her assassin story to be a bit more sinister, as all signs really did point to that in season three. 

Ah, but no, she’s just an ex-murderer who wanted a normal life and a family and sacrificed herself for Sherlock, a true hero. Bull. They could have done so much with the character of Mary, but Moffatt and Gatiss decided to make her story flat and boring, and kill her off to further the plot. Where’s Moriarty? Who the hell knows. 

We then get a useless montage where Amanda Abbington gets to show off her chops as an annoying American (New York? Boston? Somewhere east coast), then change her hair a bunch of times, and have all of that become obsolete because the super-spy didn’t notice a tracker on the flash drive she held--another reason the flash drive was just a very bad idea. Mary spends the confrontation with Ajay begging (she does a lot of begging and theatrics) but he gets killed, and she and John have a tiff.

But Mary, a liar, a killer, a traitor, gets to go out looking really good (never mind that the entire situation came about BECAUSE of her). And then she sends Sherlock a video message (how did she know to do that?????) and tells him to “Save John Watson. Save him. Save him.” Okay, we get it. And then, in the after credits scene, she tells him to go to hell? Why??

Don’t even get me started on her death scene. Easily the stupidest and most unnecessarily dramatic part of the entire episode.

Let’s move on to the worst part of this episode by far: John Watson.

John got very little screen time and most of it was spent with him either CHEATING ON HIS WIFE or being ridiculed by said wife and Sherlock. Are we even sure he should be credited as a main character in that episode? He’s flat, he’s dull, he offers none of the John-Watson-esque banter we’ve come to know and love, and he messages another woman while he has a wife and baby at home. In what universe would John Watson’s character do that? (Plus, the text conversations were stilted and not his style, so what even was that?) He meets a random woman on a bus and actually plans to meet with her before thinking better of it as his steps off the bus, last minute. Congrats on being less than a dick you could’ve been, I guess. 

My interpretation of John Watson has always been fiercely loyal to a fault, so his infidelity raised a huge red flag. Obviously, he’s not over Mary’s lies, but, y’know, he stays with her anyway, because of plot baby. And then, he almost turns into a werewolf or something while he cries over Mary’s dead body, then blames Sherlock, which is also so unlike him. Sherlock repeated over and over the vow he made to keep her safe, which, oh my god, we get it, you love John so you don’t want to hurt him, and when she jumped in front of him and got shot, that’s obviously his fault completely. What, pray tell, was John expecting him to do? Get shot again? Bullets are fast, there’s really not that much time to react. John shuns Sherlock, and tells Mary to tell him that he’d rather have anyone else help him but Sherlock (Jesus, John, harsh) and now the scene is set for the next two episodes: Sherlock and John’s excellent adventure back into the forays of friendship. Hooray.

Finally, let’s talk about the man of the hour-and-a-half, Sherlock Holmes. The writers made sure to emphasize his “high functioning sociopath” bit by making him cold toward his clients and having him constantly texting during really important events (seriously, for someone so damn smart, turn off your damn ringer so people can’t hear you typing!). He goes on long-winded tangents that amount to absolutely nothing, he talks to a balloon, he makes rash and impulsive decisions, and he has some sort of secret fort that he uses to confront Mary, ooh, fun. The best part of Sherlock this episode was his brief interaction with the baby. So, thirty seconds of the episode was enjoyable, congrats Moffatt and Gatiss, you did it again!

tl;dr Bland, uninspiring, disappointing, and thoroughly uncharacteristic, this may be Sherlock’s biggest blunder yet. The show is past its prime, and the two-year wait between seasons obviously isn’t doing much for the writing. Moffatt and Gatiss are running off of the success of earlier seasons and not delivering. That, matched with their enormously inflated egos, is a recipe for disaster. They state they don’t care about what the fans want: that’s how you lose fans. I’ve seen theories and analyses that go way beyond the drivel of this episode. Maybe you should take a look, guys. Get some inspiration.

Oh, and what, exactly, is Moriarty going to do next? We never actually got that point addressed.