#since its kagepro day

[diodellet]

Thinking of Outer Science-fying Book 4 of Twst...

(yes that means ob!jamil as kuroha uwahhh i present to u exhibits a and b:)

(do u see it? im grabbing u by th shoulders and shaking u, am i making any sense hahahaha)

Like it just makes sense on a meta and visual way to make Book 4 way more of an angsty, heart-wrenching timeloop of trying to get through That Damn Boss Fight (all while dying lots of times in the process)

I say visual because the Snake of Clearing Eyes is a manipulative and violent motherfucker, and apparently its true form is a "solid black snake with red eyes" like huuuh.... it's as if the parallels literally write themselves

and I also say meta because lots of us players got stuck trying to beat him (by players i specifically mean /me./ I was stuck there for a week. deadass died fighting ob!jamil 4985034853 times and all i got was this cool title to slap onto my profile)

++On a lighter note, waaay after everyone's recovered from the ordeal, I think it'd be fun to see everyone else tease remind jamil of the funky shit he said during his overblot (ngl mans said some wacky things after a dope monologue like!! dude cuda stopped there but he kept going man i think the ink got to him oof)

EDIT: I JUST REMEMBERED... HOW COULD I FORGET SUCH BANGER ONE-LINERS THESE FUCKIN CLOWNS HELPPPP

kuroha "welcome to my womb" 🤝jamil "whoppee" viper

[concert-bflat]

I suddenly got hit with Kano Brainworms and now I have this Completely Unorganized post and it's gonna be your guys' problems now !! Just saying there is no flow to this whatsoever I just slapped all my points on and called it a day

Just. god I will Never stop thinking about the Tateyama siblings relationship with their younger selves and changing and growing and learning to accept themselves and Kano's. Not doing that. Remaining stagnant.

Like it's Everywhere . (Unfortunately it's been Sooo long since I've read light novel 5 so I don't have any sources to pull from there but I'm sure there's a ton okay)

Yobanashi Decieve is spent tearing down Kano's layers throughout the entire song and what do you find at the end? When he finally admits that he hates all this? Hates himself? What do you find at the center of the Kano Onion? His crying child self. At his core he still believes he is that crying boy, even says it himself "Ah, you never change", he's sneering at his current and past self, because they're the same, they're all the same. He's never moved on from his past habits and weakness. He looks at him and all he has to say is "Ah, you never change" and "Whoops, I screwed up"

Oh but we're not Quite done peeling the Kano Onion yet !! There's still a liiitle more left...

Close-up shot time !! Now you can see in its fullness his weakest moments, he's mocking his own suffering. He smiles and mocks himself, closes his eyes to his own pain and just bows. Throws my laptop

There's also this official art !! I think about this a lot but have never voiced it out before so here we go~

Just. Everyone showing off the wounds that led to their deaths, either with a smile/some enthusiasm or indifference at worst, with a pretty character-telling pose as well. And then fucking Kano, not even focusing on the photoshoot but staring directly at the evidence of his weakest moment, holding it limply, detachedly. Maybe saying that he's starting at it with scorn is too strong a word, his face looks slightly bitter at best, but I'd bet everything that that's what he's feeling.

I don't know just. Everyone around him, whether it's his siblings or the whole god damn Dan, being shown with some form of acceptance of their pasts and traumas, meanwhile Kano's still staring it in the face. Damn, you really don't lie when you say you haven't changed huh?

God my favorite example though, the one that makes me Scream.

Thank you Sidu for this art! I am now on the ground crying.

I'm too lazy to grab them right now but Kido and Seto also have art of themselves with their past selves. Kido fondly pats the head of her younger, insecure self, having growing confident and comfortable in her own skin. Seto holds his past self's hand in something liks solidarity. He doesn't have to be scared anymore. He's becoming the stronger person that he wanted to be.

And Kano?

Ah. well~. He's clinging to his past self, sobbing into his lap while his past self attempts to comfort him. Hm. With growing up you should become someone that your younger self can be proud of, right? Like Kido and Seto. They overcame their shortcomings so they could become proud of who they are today, right? Kano's collapsed in front of his past self.

Guess he didn't really do that, huh?

If anything, he's putting himself even lower than his past self. Maybe he hasn't grown, maybe not even stagnated but rather became worse, just with the same flaws that he had in the past. He didn't change at all, he just sank lower.

Your younger self can attempt to comfort you but didn't you hate yourself back then, too? So what does that make you now? Your younger self looks hunched over and dejected. He's probably just as disappointed as you are.

Ah, and there's text too, right? What does that say?

Mm. (I might have written an incorrect character but this sounds about right I think?) I feel like this was said somewhere else in kagepro, also in regards to Kano, but to be completely honest I totally forgot where. Still though. Uh.. fun! Kano says to himself not words of comfort but assurance that the future will only be more miserable, that he will only hate himself more as time goes on. As if you couldn't already tell with the art itself.

In Yobanashi Decieve, present Kano sees his other self suffering and jeers scornfully. They never changed. Here, past Kano and present Kano suffer together, with present Kano openly suffering if only to himself, clinging to his past hurt for comfort. Together they think, they never will change, they'll only get worse. It'll only get more painful.

Ahem. Just. Ugh! This one piece says so god damn much, and even more when you put it next to Kido's and Seto's. It killed me when I first saw it and still kills me to this day !!! God !

Also I don't have any funny images for this one but. Thinks about. (And I might have some details wrong because again, it's been a while since I've read light novel 5) How he thought he was useless as a child, wondered why he wasn't discarded like a functionally useless object (pretty sure he thought this while his mom threw away a broken tv remote or something?). And then in manga route 2 how he gives his life away as a tool to preserve the others' lives. He has a "use" and he's expending his whole life on it. Like I mean they're gonna die anyway but do you Really have to be like that I Hate you I hate you I h

Like once he has an objective purpose like that he faces it with an easy smile on his face. Bittersweet, yeah. But he does it so god damn willingly. Maybe he's just pretending to take on the role so easily, but still, I can't help but think that he found some comfort in having a direct "use" like this. Even if it just meant his death, for a hopeless cause. If he could just fulfill this purpose, then....

Just the way he smiles at his own demise during that Whole Sequence, even when the remainder of the Dan is Right There.

Just man. Collapses.

Kagepro is all about change and growth and growing up and realizing change and the future really isn't too scary. Meanwhile Kano's stagnant, still sees him as unchanged from his younger self, is too scared to change his manners even if it may help him. No wonder he hates himself. I'm just. Guh, shoves the themes of the narrative in his face Kano Please I'm begging

Like mf he looks content like everyone else in Summertime Record but Are You Really. Are you Really happy yet. Have you really found it within yourself to accept change. Accept yourself. Accept Everything. Do you really think that you'll be able to finally make your younger self smile?

Buries my face in my hands God this man will never Not haunt me for the rest of my days. Get him therapy. I'm normal about him.

I was supposed to be working on assignments but here I am, with my stupid little Kano essay at 1 in the morning. I doubt anyone's gonna read this but if you did I hope you enjoy? This man is very silly in all the worst ways. I love him, I hate him, I want to shove him into a microwave. I want to put him under a microscope. I have multiple times. This man is like a fundamental character that will never Not be a part of my life even when I thought the kagepro hellhole was somewhat behind me for the meantime. He just. Man! He's a lot. And I hope you're in pain with me now too over it ! Okay that's all bye byee~

[nanjokei]

same anon here, incredibly interested in the history from someone who lived through it

ok!

here's my own rundown on why the vocaloid bubble burst in the mid 2010s!

almost irreversibly! (don't worry— this story has a happy ending)

if anyone is wondering, yes, you can reblog this! i only say this because this took a lot of work to write so if anyone feels compelled, yes, stroke my ego a bit, i allow such a thing. now, i might get snippy here and there, but i'm not serious at all. my sense of humor is pretty tsukkomi-ish and it shows up in how i describe things. <-disclaimer for if this post breaks containment because i know fandom types don't like my sense of humor if they're not given the context that i LOVE what i'm talking about and rib on it out of utmost adoration

as a disclaimer, i do lightly look things up to check on stuff timeline wise and its validity, but this is from my own point of view and memory and a personal retelling, so if you have a different take on it then i'm sure our viewpoints can co-exist. also, i speak about utaite from the point of view of someone who respects their existence but does not participate. so if a few facts are off... i am speaking only from the aspect of what relates to what i'm talking about. also if there are any typos i stopped being thorough with my checking and editing like 4k words in since i am not being paid to write this, it is just for fun. anyways~

so where we wanna start here is before the big bubble era. i think most people would agree that it was in full swing around mid 2012, but i'll set the date at september 23, 2011. the posting of the song kagerou daze (by the way, as a testament to how much of a boomer i am, despite being an kagepro fan from the start i find myself still using the "kagerou days" romanization by accident every time). by the way, senbonzakura, one of the biggest vocaloid songs ever for the longest time, was posted only a few days earlier. just to paint a picture. but that's not the only thing... i think what we want to look at especially is the end of the vocaloid2 era and what was going on during and before. the final vocaloid2 product, vy2, was released on april 25th, 2011. in this timeline, there are a few angles i wanna focus on. the state of the culture, its spread, utaite and producers. by the way, if i had to date when i met vocaloid, it was around 2008. right before gakupo came out, maybe.

around this time, the culture of vocaloid-ke (vocaloid family) type secondary works were falling out of fashion. 2010 and before, i feel that vocaloid had a strong image of nico nico douga especially— not that it didn't during the bubble era. but i mean the people participating. when miku came out, people viewed her as a novelty while still thinking to themselves they had stumbled across something special. there was no subculture like that before, and the closest counterpart to this was idolmaster. now, many know this is the origin of the -P suffix came from. it's a tossed around factoid now but people should know that it was certainly a phenomena back then. and a LOT of early miku adopters (like 80% were either already in the doujin music scene, the DTM (desktop music) scene, trained musicians or even some industry pros. and a lot of these people were nerdy and geeky and loved anime and games and manga so of course their first point of reference for building vocaloid's identity was idolmaster. touhou, idolmaster's next door neighbor, also had a lot of influence given many of the music people in its scene dabbled in vocaloid early on. so naturally the fans that were attracted to vocaloid were also nerds. at first there were only cryptonloids, but gakupo quickly followed (and continuing in the trend of heavy nnd association— kentaro miura (RIP), a big fan of nnd and especially idolmaster— designed and drew his art 100% pro bono out of love for the site and its culture). luka came out... i think gumi was the first shift. gumi just felt, different. i personally owe it to her being modeled after ranka lee, the iconic role of her voice provider, megumi nakajima— ranka lee was the underdog character in her source macross frontier's love triangle. so i feel like that image somewhat imprinted itself on gumi. gumi was not popular at first at all. her release came and went with not much fanfare. ironically the aspect of rivalry would come back under stuff like the miku vs gumi debate. this is probably the first real demonstration of "it doesn't matter how good the voice is, it matters who uses it and how that propagates the voice".

and so i arrive at the producers of the time, maybe late 2008 early to mid 2009, the newcomers. the ones that weren't necessarily otaku through and through, but more on the "teenagers who like vocaloid and/or don't have a singer to sing for them, and want to make music". i will be specific and say it is people like wowaka (RIP), deco*27 and hachi/kenshi yonezu specifically. wowaka for example had a very fresh take— his pvs deemphasized the vocaloid, but it also inspired many fan pvs because of it. i will not go into how it became ironic that he quit due to the attribution to the voice. but his moody lyrics captured a lot of hearts and his style carried a youth to it. hachi did a lot of his own artsy pvs. deco*27 was very unpolished and amateur but his music was VERY of the times. the synths, the guitar, very youthful. aside from wowaka, whose comeup immediately led to him getting signed quickly (and the guy himself just walked and i don't blame him) i think what made these guys (deco and hachi) stand out from the rest in the end is one thing: they picked up gumi. and this set them apart from the old and dusted otaku who didn't pick gumi up, or those who picked her up thinking of her only as ranka lee. mozaik role (still deco's most viewed song on nnd btw, with no sign of stopping. and he is clearly PISSED about it). matryoshka. all that kibs of noise. by the way, matryoshka's stint in the vocaloid rankings went unchallenged until it was finally killed by senbonzakura. that's a good two years of dominance!! a lot of the breakout stars or people who got more popular during 2010 used gumi, i'm talking your 40mPs, your sasakure.UKs, your buzzGs. incidentally, a lot of these people got signed... most for their vocaloid stuff. 40mP, sasakure, deco, kous and others were signed under label split-offs like U/M/A/A. wowaka and hachi... were signed for themselves. specifically, wowaka and his band hitorie, and hachi as himself kenshi yonezu.

but producers were not the only ones being signed. utaite, who had been a thing before even vocaloid was a thing, found themselves growing rapidly due to them increasingly participating in the culture as both fans and beneficiaries. personally, i split off utaites eras as "before piko and akiakane" and "after piko and akiakane". the before era included people who either started very early on when vocaloid became a thing on nnd, or started before it (participating in chorus medleys or posting utattemita videos of anison for example, like gero). it was all amateur and everyone was doing it for fun... but the record companies doth lurk around the vocaloid scene at this rate. akiakane and piko i pick specifically because they were the first utaite who were very publically signed. piko was signed under sony's ki/oon records! akiakane had two or three big albums under the subsidary of VAP, toy's factory (if you wanna have fun take a look at the list of talent they rep). piko is especially important— as he had a vocaloid made of him. this marked first big interest of corporations and large record companies to actually enter the vocaloid space— in the most direct way possible. btw, the reason piko the vocaloid is dead is because piko the person is no longer signed under sony. it's not outright confirmed, but piko the guy stopped tweeting about utatane piko the second he transferred labels. he is stuck in a weird catch 22 he probably will never be free of, though yamaha is doing some insane moves lately, i wonder if they'd ever try to buy the character out and revive him as a stunt. (they are doing many funny stunts lately. but a subject for another time.)

finally, my last point in this preamble is the interest in telling stories through vocaloid had only continued to grow. i think the two biggest early examples were the prisoner series by shujinP and the ever so infamous evillious chronicles by mothy. their explosive popularity is wholeheartedly owed to rin and len— ok this is a tangent but this is the genius of the rin and len package, that to this day was never replicated, they come together as you know and since they are male and female with no set setting, they are an easy buy and you can make a story because you can do two points of view across several songs... like literally. its paperplane vs prisoner. daughter of evil vs servant of evil. and their fans were and continue to be super passionate. it's great, we would be missing a huge chunk of what makes vocaloid subculture what it is without them. of course, shujinP's series (plural because they had several) is less known these days but it was probably the first series to get plays and novels and all that. quickly followed by EC. later came series like sasakure's doomsday series, stuck in a limbo between old and new era (most of the songs released in the old era but the novelization and such came out during the new), and a few "outsider" series like numtack05/putinP's series (the reasons this never got popular is because it was absurdist and shitpost-y and involved too much political imagery, not only that but also because putinP used a lot of copyright samples (most famously ronald mcdonald and sazae-san clips)— the freely distributed album vers omit these samples entirely and i can confirm the songs are worse for it)

so to give a summary of the above section

the tastes of fans were maturing

there was a shift in how vocaloid was perceived

the growing influence of utaite

the growing interest of big corpos in the scene

the growing interest in storytelling using vocaloid as a medium

anyway, here comes the real deal. and... it's gonna be a mess. just like the era itself was. i hope you're ready, at least.

even the very first echo of vocaloid3 felt kinda corpo-y. it wasn't, but.. looking back. it kind of felt like it. the first time we ever found out about v3 was through a leak of seeU's demo— but it was a work in progress leak, so it had the voice of her provider dahee kim singing along. people had no idea so they assumed this was the capability of the software. it was exciting! kpop was just starting to get popular, and we were getting a new vocaloid software, with korean capability!!!

anyway. we're not talking about the can of worms that was seeU.

not just because of dahee kim. but because it's not related beyond this. also the fact that korean fans were heavily and horribly mistreated by the majority japanese fandom for obvious reasons. i do not have the depths to speak on that stuff, but it says a lot that the software's first big swing ended up like that.

but i wanted to illustrate the mood of the fans going into this era. it was full of hopes and dreams. now, i don't want any wannabe know-it-alls wagging their fingers at me and checking the wikia going "b-but cullen, mew also came out!! at the same time!!" the seeU leak came out first. i remember there were fights over whether or not that demo was real. it was a cultural shift like no other. who the fuck cares about mew? literally her only legacy is one really amazing ezfg song. i will not debate anyone on this btw. i try to be objective but i'm allowed to inject a bit of my own opinion here too. you know who were also full of hopes and dreams? the companies. not your internetcos and your ahsofts, no, i'm talking publicly traded shits and record companies. look... i'm coming off harsh. i actually don't hold that much animosity, but you're gonna see why this was the first huge misstep of the era.

nice picture, right? this was the kind of optimism we started off this era on. but, i'll break down the picture for you in a way that helps illustrate a point somewhat:

your girlies from V2 like gumi (who was this era's it girl), lily, galaco (even if her shitty V2 version is contest only)

your earnest newcomers mew (look, even yamaha girlies count), cul, aoki lapis, seeU (one could argue.), IA (one could argue...)

tone rion of dear stage (who represented dempagumi inc., the group her voice provider came from, though this was a myth for years until it was proven... also it was clear they wanted to make the rest of dempagumi into vocaloids but rion flopped at the time. there was even a picture of her friends floating around. astoundingly embarrassing confidence. one billion dead vocaloids.)

akikoloid-chan of lawsons (yes, the convenience store! she is a vocaloidification of their mascot and i would argue the poster child of the modern brand private vocaloid. she was retired in uh.. 2019 i wanna say? though she was dormant for a long time anyway)

ring suzune, the aborted failure of minna no vocalo keikaku (everyone's vocalo-project)... this one involves a lot of otona no jijou AKA adult circumstances (japanese corpo's favorite excuse. you will now notice this phrase every time you hear it oooo). just unfortunate all around

yuzuki yukari of vocalomakets, i put her in a separate category because she really is a girlie of her own. a vocal born from producers being dissatisfied that their wants weren't being answered and no company was taking them up, they just went "fuck it" and produced yukari on their own. a huge outlier in this era of vanity projects and companies using the scene for their own crap.

not pictured, but i have to mention her due to her complicated position in this era, but mayu of exit tunes. exit tunes is a record label that heavily supported vocaloid and utaite during this era, signing both producers and utaite, and making compilation cds of popular vocaloid hits. and probably saw to it that due to their dominance in the area of compilation cds (and they still dominate, even if their releases are sparse these days their cds still top oricon without effort), them sneaking mayu into the tracklists would work... my thoughts on this? my position has softened a lot over the years. and i've always thought "they gave up right before she organically caught on, they should have kept pushing. so what a shame".

now you may notice i bolded a few of these and made special mention of the companies behind them. you probably already figured it out, but this era had heavy investment from parties who had only to gain from a rapidly growing niche subculture. see, unlike the other two of nnd's big three idolmaster and touhou, who are IPs where you need some kind of cooperation to officially get in on, vocaloid... is incredibly free, so laissez faire in comparison. you buy a 9,000 dollar dev kit and get to work making your mascot. it was... so easy. so free. so sweet. but real life is not so easy, or free, or sweet. you actually had to be accepted by the fans, and like i said before... the voice does not matter. what matters is who uses it, and how that propagate the voice. this is true time and time again. it is the ultimate "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!" of the scene from a commercial standpoint. no matter how many years pass. ergo, one billion dead vocaloids. corpo vocaloids were releasing and they flopped immediately. earnest products from newcomers were dropping and struggling, though def doing better than the corpo ones (like lapis, lapis did ok). existing "in crowd" companies were vomiting out new vocals and not even promoting them. it was a disgusting era of excess and death and bile and plague and war and and and. it's astounding that it is hard carried by the art that came out of it. because if you only look at the commercial side of things, it is fucking disgusting.

now, onto the fan aspect. remember when i said this era truly kicked off when kagerou daze came out? yup. here it comes. so, anyone lived through this era remembers the cambrian explosion of original projects that did not make use of vocaloid mascots— arguably the final death knell of vocaloid-ke secondary works being the mainstream.

now, i'm planting my flag in the ground here very firmly— i do not ride the bandwagon of the people who erroneously attribute the near death of the scene to kagepro. it's just not true. personally i have a very complicated (bordering on near sort of but not quite negative, depending on how nostalgic i feel that day) relationship with the series, but to blame it is incredibly narrowminded and ignorant of the actual reasons the bubble burst, and not to mention unfair. if you find it annoying, fine. but just say you don't like the series and move on. and really, for better or for worse, mekakucity days and mekakucity records are unironically god tier vocaloid albums that will be remembered for years to come. i just have to say this because i see a lot of people blame jin for very flimsy reasons... SHUT UP!!! anyway.

i think one of the issues with the whole project culture that flourished during this era was simply the fact that since they were multimedia projects (whether by accident like kagepro or intentionally from the get), fans were coming from all angles, and even those who got into it through vocaloid eventually became super mega invested in them as separate IPs. which is... unfortunately an issue. so when these properties eventually spun off into manga, light novels, covers with real seiyuu, merch and ultimately some even netting anime projects... once those projects either abruptly ended (lol, lmao, this will come back later) or reached their natural conclusion, inevitably a lot of those fans either leave with it or found themselves burned out on vocaloid itself, or perhaps even think they've outgrown it.

next, utaite. now i mentioned a bit earlier about how the first batch of utaite were amateurs who didn't expect anything out of it and did it just cause, and how exit tunes signed a lot of them in this era. now, comes the time i speak about utaite "after piko and akiakane". i believe due to a generational gap and subconsciously perhaps due to the signing of a few utaite from the old guard at this point, the nu utaite of the 2010s had a sort of individuality to them... this isn't an insult, and a large part of their popularity actually came from them always collaborating and a lot of them ending up befriending each other. again, i'm an outsider, but i understand this much. but this era for utaite was the beginning of the idea that an utaite can become a superstar. in the end, very few of them did become superstars.

a lot of them naturally returned to a normal level of popularity after the bubble. there aren't a lot of your AtRs or your amatsukis and such. the smart ones became vtubers before being a vtuber was cool. to give an example: un:c and hashiyan who are arguably oldheads more than nu era became anjo and kosaka of monsterz mate. this isn't a doxx btw, this is publically available information, and un:c often credits himself as a mixer under projects he does as anjo. also, a certain duo of female utaite whose names i will not mention went on to form the super popular vtuber duo himehima. there are other early adopters like kano and god knows who else that i don't feel like mentioning. anyway, if your utaite did it after 2018 and under their own identity it is a desperate plea for attention. sorry but it's just the objective truth. tangent over... did you think i wasn't gonna shoehorn vtubers into this somehow?! anyway.

even sutopuri who got mega popular, only really formed after the vocaloid bubble burst, perhaps even as a result of it. utaite had a positive effect on the vocaloid scene and still do. but at the time, i think it was at its strongest. utaite NEEDED vocaloid, and vocaloid benefitted greatly from their continued patronage and love for it. i for one will not be caught slandering utaite and their relationship with vocaloid even if i will always prefer the vocaloid versions. the issue here comes from the fact that way too many were signed without much star factor (i'm not disparaging them, i'm just saying they did not hold their audience across the mediums), and even at that their fans splintered off into many tribes and many weren't really into vocaloid in the first place and were more into the livestreams and twitter banter. that's just how things shook out. you even have your reols and such, as reol was the face but in a sense her, gigaP and okiku were a set and gigaP left the scene to focus on commercial work with those two. too many of them got signed and splintered off into their own little fandoms before THOSE fandoms kind of died out. so this is another part where fans disappear and lose interest. you're starting to see the pattern here, right?

there's so much stuff i thought i would touch on, like how gumi was the undisputed it girl of the scene at this time, and how kagepro rose IA to prominence (all because jin wanted to buy gumi but didn't find her in the store) and how IA's people 1st place locked certain producers in their basement (like jin, yasuhiro, ishifuro etc) and... now this is a conspiracy on my part but prevented them from working on anything else, so that drew more talent away from the scene... but i realized it's tangential and belongs to other parts in this conversation. i want to reiterate here though before we go on to the biggest elephant in the room of all which would be the point of no return... there is more to the vocaloid bubble era of 2012-2015 than projects, than corpo and record company bullshit, than utaite fans. and there is more to the era before that than the top brass producers i mentioned earlier. i really... really lament how so much of early vocaloid reuploads are gone from youtube. there's a whole world just gone. so, anyway, are you ready?

the final block in this weird jenga of a story.

the producer, suzumu, and his unfortunate associates.

i will cut to the chase because it's easier to explain who was involved once i say what happened. to put it shortly... suzumu "stole" his songs. this is weird and vague and i always hated the way people used polite euphemisms to explain it because it made the situation way more confusing than it had to be— he used his producer friends as ghostwriters to compose songs for him, basically. and was very not nice about it according to one of the people involved. now i will probably adopt a somewhat sympathetic angle that people who have previously heard of this case may have not encountered before. not because i feel bad for that fuck, but because it seems like at least one of the people impacted has forgiven him, and others have moved on in less obvious ways. he's also professionally making music in the industry now. as much as i want to keep up the act of disliking him, i don't care anymore. i still dislike what he did immensely because it impacts producers i love to this day. but the man came forth about it himself and those involved forgave him. it's been almost a decade now... man!

suzumu, before getting into posting songs (who knows how many were actually his and which were ghostwritten), was a prolific lyric writer who worked with some of the trendiest vocaloid producers around. i'll cross gigaP out, since he was not involved in the incident, but almost every single person involved in this had worked with him in a lyric or story writing capacity (for 150P and komine specifically). here are the involved parties as i recall, bolded are people who he "stole" from

mafumafu, the person who spoke the most about it post suzumu's confession and the most vocal, and likely the person who was used as a ghostwriter the most (i don't recall if he actually alludes to this or not but people commonly think this). mafumafu had a series of vocaloid songs that told a story, but stopped using vocaloid after the incident for a while and songs that were going to get pvs from his first vocaloid album were not posted. he contributed a song called machigai sagashi for the vocaloid flavored moba #compass in 2015, but it seems like that song was probably in the works since before the incident for reasons i will highlight in a moment. suzumu wrote the lyrics for only one of the songs. iirc, mafumafu's song berserk is about suzumu. don't remember if this is confirmed or not. btw, the album of those songs, meikyou shisui, is really underrated and you should check it out. im not a mafu guy but that album is great

kemu, the person who is arguably closest to suzumu and the one who most publicly supported suzumu (albeit wordlessly) in later years by working with him professionally. when i mention someone forgiving suzumu, i mean him. suzumu wrote the lyrics for most of his kemu voxx songs, a famous multimedia project kemu was on the helm of along with hatsuko as the main illustrator. since kemu no longer had a lyricist, the project stalled for years until he posted a song suddenly in 2017 (with self written lyrics). it seems like the series is continuing still, but with a different direction

150P, who worked with suzumu heavily for his shuuen no shiori (bookmark of demise) project, a project that was conceived from the start to be a story. this part makes me really mad, guys!! i'll try to keep calm about it. 150P wrote over 50 songs (idk if this is an actual number but he wrote a lot. at least 40.) for the series, with suzumu writing the story and lyrics. the character designs were done by saine (who dodged a bullet all things considered.) and the art was done by komine. 150P was already doing crazy things before shuuenpro, his most popular song is still his insane 12-len classical metal chorus song lost destination. now shuuenpro caught on slower than its peers and was an underdog. i LOVE shuuenpro to this day. you know what? right when it was finally getting its first W, when the album that had seiyuu covers at come out on oricon in third place, suzumu dropped his confession. what a slap to the fucking face!! the manga of the series hastily wrapped up after that. 150P and komine disappeared and no longer did stuff ever. 150P recently appeared for a mafumafu anniversary thing so i'm glad he's still alive. but, komine...

komine, the only non-producer, an artist with the worst luck. she was slowly rising to prominence doing pv art for a lot of popular producers, and was the main artist of shuuenpro most prominently. during the initial release of the first few shuuenpro songs, she was accused of tracing, and the art of the pv of sarumane isutori game had to be done by someone else. komine stopped using social media at that point, but continued to make art for the project quietly and quite prolifically. so she was already on some kind of fraught standing even though the tracing allegations were disproven. fast forward to the suzumu blowup, komine packed up her bags and disappeared forever. if she had become disillusioned, i do not blame her. her final public contribution was the design of jeanne d'arc from #compass, the character who was paired with the mafumafu song. all subsequent artworks of jeanne were done by different artists. i suspect the reason the vocaloid version of machigai sagashi did not have a proper pv was due to komine quitting. i can only imagine what that pv looked like! if you're wondering why i mention a pv, it's cuz compass fans got mad at mafu for having a fancy pv for his self cover but not for the original. but otona no jijou, you know? and where is that energy for eve who still hasn't released a pv for mistletoe publicly and only put it on his kuso app and with 0 compass association? who let that wishy washy fuck do an anniversary song? ...im not gonna go on a compass tangent. anyway.

so... why does this matter?

it matters because people became disillusioned due to this drama. it matters because suzumu took out some very popular and prolific people from the scene during what one could argue was a transitional phase. the fans of all those people, including suzumu's... gone. if you weren't there, you may not understand the cult of personality suzumu had. he had his name on everything and was friends with all the right people. when i heard about this incident... i just closed my eyes and sighed lol. it hurt and it hit when the scene was at its weakest. and was the final blow, almost. and it impacted the way people saw and talked about vocaloid for years. miku became "owakon" for a time. people thought kizuna ai was gonna replace her as a cultural touchstone (lol, lmao, it is proven time and time again that the big three cannot die). kenshi yonezu, in all his detached glory, came down from his jeweled encrusted throne to compose a song for miku's 10th birthday that he smugly thought was the death knell of nico nico douga.... which even at the time of its release was contested by even people who were on the same miku anniversary project and, whether you wanna acknowledge it or not, is still mocked to this day by several producers. magical mirai's theme this year even does it. there is no respect for sand planet or anything kenshi yonezu stood for in that song. what an asshole move no matter how you see it. argue with the wall if you don't agree, i don't want to hear it. the scene survived because there were producers and artists and fans who still loved it. not because of some sardonic fuckoff song by a guy so detached he'd write a funeral march for a birthday.

these days, i feel like the community is incredibly conscious of what happened. there are wanton community led events that encourage not only the creation of songs, covers, art and secondary creations but also the discovery of new producers— the biggest of which being vocaloid collection, which happens three times a year and has many categories, but most importantly the top ranking (producers active for 3+ years) and the rookie ranking. i once read a japanese article that said proseka brought new fans hungry for something beyond the music presented in the game, and vocacolle and other community led events and song posting festivals supplied the works. the average age of the new vocaloid producer is— and this is my own estimate based on how many heart attacks i've been given the past 3 or 4 years— 17~19 years old. they say things like "i know of kagepro but i wasn't there"!! should i get my cane out!! who's driving me to the retirement home?!

even companies involved in the product end are more savvy these days.... (holding my tongue about a certain company of a popular synth software and its ceo because i have nothing nice to say). i think they realized that you can't clap with one hand and that appealing to the end user and fans is a necessity. honestly, i can only be excited for what comes next. we're never going back to that dark age, i can say this with utmost confidence. do i miss the past of the times before the bubble, back when vocaloid was a smidge more geeky? sure. but we can only really move forward, so why not enjoy it

[nearly-wonderland]

人造エネミー Jinzou Enemy - Jin - English Translyrics 

「 A song that turns away eyes. 」

"Living a life only doomed to repeat,  When your dreams all fall away, there's no point in remaining the same." Words you paint in lies so they won't fade. One and the same, we crave for a world that’s too far out of reach  Your fingertips that say this to me; Yet your silent voice is all the truth that I need.

The nameless figures you've hidden away,  And yet even then, how you beg for them to stay A love like that, you know there's no way they could feel the same.

Still, that's the way that it goes, so bring one and two more days to a close Bite down your fear like we're still alive* Just close your eyes and sleep ‘til you're fine.

"Ah, how it's all mundane," you scoff again, averting your gaze Even though you know your eyes could never look away... Hey, since it's all ignored, and you won't let those feelings arise Are you going to spend another day glaring, tired empty eyes staring at this lonely me through the screen?

You know this kind of life isn’t what you should do That hurting turning to all you knew To sort through truth and root out all the lies, it’s all hidden far away deeper than you can find

Is this whole world just lying to crumble beneath?** Since you don’t see it, hey, why don’t we Just run away from this broken place, to a non-reality made for you and me?

So why continue with your carrying on when this world is doing nothing but hate and scorn you? Just say 「 Goodbye 」 to it all, and only lie your eyes upon me.

"Ah, truly wonderful," you say, and clap your hands with glee But the lies you weave are slowly flooding down the streets. Hey, if you’ve grown so cold to a point where it’s more than you can bear Tell me why your tired eyes are still glaring, boring through me comparing me to all the lies that you see?

You know this kind of life isn't what you should do Why can't you see that you're breaking too? When all is gone and you're all that remains, close your eyes and turn away from the world that you find Stuck in a darkened room without kindness or light And soon, one day, when the sun will rise You'll hear my cries and resounding within as I break apart and fall out of existence 

"No, please, this just can't be! Please, I don't understand!" You stare coldly as I cry, and say, "I'm done with this toy that can only talk, so just leave, I've gotten sick of it all." 

———————————————————————— *The lyrics in Japanese don't explicitly mention death, but rather pretending to live, so I took liberties here to convey the story a bit better. For series like Kagerou Project and Shuuen no Shiori, I'm much more likely to take artistic liberties in the lyrics due to my familiarity with the source material in every form it's been adapted. **"Lying" is used throughout the lyrics intentionally, both in its meaning as a non-truth and as in 'laying' in another tense. The repetition of the term I felt fit the nature of this song very well, which is also why you'll find some repetitive terms and mid-line rhymes throughout the entire song.

[It's a concrete plan for me to eventually translate every Kagepro song! This has been my goal since I started writing lyrics several years ago~]

[sabaramonds]

a few days ago i made a post linking my old kazui analysis/speculation and mentioned in the tags my haruka gender cannibal theory. someone reblogging mentioned wanting to see it. i forgor until now. to be honest i dont think i have much to say it feels very self explanatory but maybe im just that unwell. anyway. let us begin. a few months ago i made a post discussing my reading of haruka as a trans girl. then an interview with yamanaka & deco*27 was translated. when “weakness” comes up, deco*27 says: “this is a song about cannibalism.” it made sense. immediately i messaged tshirt “ok. so haruka literally and or figuratively cannibalized her sisters gender.” from the first time i saw “weakness”, it did come across to me as a song of self-conflict/resentment and guilt. haruka repeatedly expresses self hate and plenty of guilt throughout the song and one line that has always stood out to me is “how many more times do i have to do this before i can be human?” but wait, im getting ahead of myself. the visual of him and the girl (sister?) together and the lyrics, “the right future unfairly chose the wrong me” immediately gave me the impression that to be that girl was harukas ideal self and his actions stemmed partially from the desire to become her, especially if his mother had tolerated his femininity prior to getting a “real” daughter (which is also why haruka has clung so tightly to muu; she validates the mannerisms hes taking from her and thus his femininity the way his mother once had) in the old post of mine that i linked up there i discussed the whys of what made “all knowing and all agony” reaffirm my initial read of haruka but i also dont think haruka knows any of this. to be clear haruka does not know you can be transgender. he just knows if he doesnt keep cannibalizing aspects of the important women in his life then he will blow up and die or something. its like kano from kagepro except haruka cant literally wear the appearance of dead women in his life like kano does since hes so socially isolated and hasnt received any education accommodation (for his autism. because hes autistic but this is a separate issue from the gender cannibalism. or perhaps connected, but autism gender is another post for another day) he has no idea that he can just...not be a boy. that people like that exist. who is going to break the news

[masonsystem]

Have you watched this?

https://youtu.be/AF8KGdV92ag?si=ccE042UR1LbURuZV

no i have not... but i did just for you anon. usually i avoid will stetson vids cuz his translyrics often piss me off LOL. im aware the translyrics from this vid are written by breadbox rather than him, but his remind blue vid w translyrics by breadbox also pissed me off so....

also u didnt ask for my opinions but i love to blabber so im putting down my opinions 😋 it also ended up long af woops so sticking it under a read more

first off, wow will stetson has rly improved his vocals. ive listened to a few of his recent covers and hes way better nowadays than in this one. the high notes are kinda kicking his ass here, but thats fair. LTM is not an easy song to sing.

that aside this concept is very interesting.. since the lyrics are by breadbox, its very illuminating to see how he interprets the manga and ayano's character in general. which is important to me bc i am aware that he's like the only? kagepro youtuber out there i think.. or at least the most popular. meaning his content and interpretations have shaped recent english-speaking public opinion of kgpr's narrative whether for better or worse. and i care abt that kind of shit

OK ENOUGH NITPICKING THE CREATORS LOL um my thoughts on this entire video: most of it is very standard bread and butter ayano interpretation (sacrificing herself for her everyone etc etc), but its pretty interesting to me that they chose to expand on route m konoha's and ayano's relationship, which was something that was very, very barely touched on in the manga. like konoha gets fucking possessed and ayano doesnt say a word abt that like LOL this manga is.... yeah. its interesting that they wrote their relationship as konoha worrying about ayano, but ayano feeling like he is unable to relate to her. i dont necessarily agree or disagree with that interpretation cuz its something i hvnt really thought about, but i find that to be an interesting interpretive choice.

also the second verse + chorus is pretty confusing bc the verse references konoha and ayano, but then the chorus jumps back to ayano from two years ago cuz the chorus is "Girl, 16" (ayano is 18 in the present day of route m). tho i guess the manga never really specifies how long konoha and ayano had known each other??? so maybe they met when ayano was 16??? god this vid is making me very confused abt the manga LOLLL

i will say tho that the last chorus was very confusing to me. bc it showed LTM ayano, i was under the impression that it was about a route 1 ayano? but i was confused, cuz the lyrics were "Girl, 18", and no route 1 ayano ever makes it to 18 (also when i say route 1 ayano i just mean any ayano whose part of the yuukei quartet + jumps off the roof etc etc). but after a few rewatchs, im pretty sure the last chorus is about yakitsu. i really wish they didnt use a pic of LTM ayano then, theres plenty of good pics of yakitsu from the last chapter of the manga they couldve used instead.

i get why they would believe that LTM ayano is yakitsu tho. thats cuz this is something that still isnt fully agreed on among fans, cuz even after 10 fucking years no one actually understands what LTM's mv is about LMAO. personally i think white dress ayano = yakitsu. and i think the ayano in LTM is just.... ayano from that route, not from route m. why she disappears tho.. um... hm......

but yeah interesting video, gave me much to think about... a bit too much to think about. cuz now im thinking about LTM and how that like.... makes no sense....... kinda..

[the-harusahi4]

Image from kien romace by nanawo akari

its 9/7 now i get an exuse to talk about kageadashima

Ajgwjwgwkwgakhwbwkwjw ok heres the overall plot since anyone whos been following this saga knows that its kagepro but "what if it were adachi and shimamura"

Anyway so

After meeting in the cultural festival, haruka and shintaro become friends yeah cool. (So do ayano and takane but thats a bonus lol)

Anyway shintaro skips class because hes too bored :( and haruka skips because hes never done that before and "why not?!?!?"

Side thing where ayano invites shintaro to go fishing w her, and there is where he meets ayano's younger sister kido, and she's really shy, so he suggests to ayano for kido to meet his younger sister, who is of similar age.

So after a while Haruka and shintaro share bonding moments and such, and one day haruka dreams of kissing shintaro (haruka is adachi remember!!??!?!?!?!?) And hes like "i dont think friends are supposed to do that" and he gets confused (me too man)

Well tahts pretty much it for now, but momo and kido meet somewhere in this i forgot where. And momo meets the rest of mekatrio but thats a "mausqueheramienta que usaremos luego"

[ceejaykayess]

The long awaited sequel! Super-cute Cyber-girl AI-Ball Ene, at your service! I kid, I kid, I know no one saw the last post, because it didn’t get posted under the tag for some reason… ah well, second try’s the charm.

After hearing that next year’s Dazecon would be our last, it sorta kicked my ass into gear to get some more of these Kagepro ideas off my chest and onto paper. So, Ene, our deuteragonist to our beloved protagonist (derogatory).

I had a lot of thoughts ever since the first picture on how I wanted to draw Ene’s cyber form. Given Aiba and Tama’s designs, we have something of a base to work off of, but we need at least one more game for me to confidently declare what is and isn’t a pattern. What we can easily tell, at least, is that AI-Balls have white hair and and dress in mostly black and white. And while Ene does do the latter, she… doesn’t do the former. Why? Well… maybe you can figure it out?

But in terms of her design, while I mostly stick to her regular design, the things I want to point out (because it might not be super obvious with my image quality) are the glowing strands in her hair, a blue one in her fringe, a red one in her left pigtail, and a white one in her left. I suppose you could call them remnants of what should have been… I also want to point out her outfit- it’s skin-tight from the neck to the waist, the skirt being a part of the bodysuit. The sleeves are, almost ironically, like Miku’s in that they’re detachable. And the most AI-Ball feature to her are the tech veins that compose her legs, as opposed to generally lacking them as in most Kagepro material.

I made Ene’s gel form a rabbit, in consideration of those mini-sketch comics I read yonks ago that drew Ene’s pigtails as being like hands for her since hers are in her sleeves always. Also, I thought it’d be funny if the first time Shintarou saw it, he’d consider renaming her to Tono in honour of his rabbit.

In case it’s hard to read, the shocked Ene in the top right is saying, “Master! MASTER! Oh no, he can’t hear me, he’s wearing his Raycon:tm: Earbuds, supremely comfortable for all your needs-” The little sketch in the bottom right, of Shintaro face down in bed and Ene in rabbit mode on his bedside table, reads, “Get the fuck up Master, we’re goin’ to the amusement park today!” “Ene, I’m dying…”

Here's a link to the first picture of Shintaro that never posted properly. And here's a link to the follow-up Yaki picture.

How long had she been wandering? She wasn’t really sure. Sure, if she looked at a calendar, or even just the UI on near anyone’s digital device, she’d see that it had been a year, more even. But that wasn’t really what she meant.

When she first opened her eyes, she had a purpose. She wasn’t wandering- she was seeking. She wasn’t on a Journey, she was on a Quest. She had to find them, had to know what happened to them, because if she were here, like this, then the others, then he had to be-

But though she had a Quest, she had to figure it out, her newfound capabilities, how to parse the sheer amount of information that tried to force its way around her, through her, tried to twist the information that made up herself-

And by the time she had come to a balance with her newfound self, body made of numbers and pixels instead of blood vessels and organ systems, what she had been seeking had become old news, hearsay that was washed under the waves of time and new information and new tragedies and new things for people to talk about. The longer it took, the deeper the information was buried, and the deeper it was buried, the longer it would take for her to come and go.

But eventually, after months and months, 8 months and 17 days and 9 hours and 21 minutes and 2 seconds, 3 seconds, 4 seconds, she had bounced from Wiki article to Wiki article, dug through news archives, dragged herself through Towitter discussions and arguments dated around that August 15th, and a bit after, she had learned and pieced together thus: Three people were marked as dead. 14 people were injured, 9 of which being detained as members of the syndicate that caused the explosion. There was no mention of who died, or even of the state their bodies were in. There was no specific mention of their fourth, her annoying kouhai who was so bitter, who brought everyone down despite his brilliance, who everyone loved despite his acidic tongue and obvious disdain, who she hated because of how much it felt like she were looking at a mirror, her kouhai who was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, surrounded by rubble and mumbling things she could barely understand being in such a terrible state herself-

She felt herself lose it, the desperate, fickle hope she held in her oversized jumper, because what does it matter? For all intents and purposes, she was dead. As far as she was aware, as far as anyone was aware, her best friend was, too. Maybe even her kouhai. And her-

And-

That kind boy, the one that irritated her so, the one that she wanted to see every day, the one that made her feel this terrible, terrible way, he too is-

Gone. They’re all gone. So what’s the point? Her Quest was over. And she couldn’t even delete herself, backspace over the 1′s and 0′s that composed her new existence. She was too much of a coward to throw herself at a virus and let it have its way with her. She could just stay here until eventually this webpage rotted away, but the longer she stayed in proximity to this information, to this reminder, the more she felt like she needed to expel the non-existent contents of her non-existent stomach. So she ran. She left. She tried to separate herself from her name, from the life that could no longer be hers, that simply was no longer.

She wandered.

How long had she been wandering?

…

Long enough that she felt nostalgic, at least. Long enough that she’s actually contemplating her current course of action, long enough that she’s following through on that course even as she contemplates the wisdom.

Her current location, digitally, was in the mainframe of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. Her destination was downstairs, 5 floors underground in fact. The Advanced Brain Investigation Squad. Her… former squad, to put it a way. She followed along the flow of data from the routers to the elevator, holding and holding and holding on to the connection as she sunk deeper and deeper and deeper until she felt like she might actually suffocate despite not needing air, before feeling the next router and leaping for it, bringing her all the way down to the abyss.

Taking in deep gasping breaths of nothing that still let her feel like a human, she looked around. The ABIS mainframe wasn’t anything special. Tunnelled far as hell away from anything else, sure, but nothing special. So much for the stupid old man and his so-called “professional coding skills”. Feh. She’s seen message boards with more interesting encryption.

Despite her trash-talking, she still looked around curious as she wandered deeper. Jumping from computer to computer, camera to camera, she saw how much the place had changed in the last year. Or rather, how little it didn’t. It was like she had never left. Eventually she came across a concrete room with a familiar sense of decoration that made her want to spit and laugh and scream and cry-

Which was immediately blown away when she looked down on the room’s occupants. There was, of course, the room’s owner and decorator, with his scruffy brown hair pulled into a messy ponytail, holding his iconic lab coat rather than wearing it, glasses askew and face looking as if he hadn’t slept or washed his face for days. His cybernetic eye, pupil the same as his remaining brown one, stared deep into the eyes of the person that had her stopping short, looking again, re-evaluating and readjusting, checking the feed and the system and refreshing everything, video and audio, again and again, just to make sure she wasn’t being deceived, that the person she was seeing was really who she thought he was.

“-is that understood, Shintaro?” “…I understand, old man.”

His voice was somehow more unbearable than usual, his face lacking its usual stern and uncaring look. It was loose, and flabby. Like he didn’t even care enough to pretend to not care. Instead of the red coat her best friend was so fond of, or even the black suit he was partial to, he stood in just a white shirt, arms bare. He was missing an eye, a scar covering the eyelid, one that made her think of a boy reluctantly in red, facedown in a puddle of the colour.

“Oi, I told you already, call me Boss, y’got it brat!?” “Mm.”

Barely acknowledging him, he turned away, making his way out of Boss’ Office, as the namesake would have you call it. Without thinking, she began to follow after him, but was stopped when she heard the old goat mutter something.

“Give me strength, Ayaka…”

Whispering the pained prayer, the man she always thought of as an unreliable lout that only ever got moving when he was being put under threat stood, donning his lab coat and fixing his glasses. Reaching into it, he withdrew a small sphere, chockful of electronic components- very similar to the one in his own eye, actually… or rather, based on it. He gave it a long look, and so did she. What was he planning…? Her musing was broken by his clenching of his fist and replacing the orb, muttering tomorrow as he moved out of the room- down the hallway and towards his lab. The opposite direction of Shintaro.

Shintaro.

Almost without thinking, she turned around, searching for the apathetic genius, that damn ikemen that couldn’t take a hint for the life of him. The hallway was lonely, and he was never very fast, so she caught him easily halfway towards the elevator. She hesitated. She had already seen more than she expected, more than she even wanted. She had expected the old man. Hell, maybe some part of her even expected to see reference to the others, pictures maybe. She hadn’t even gotten to look at their old workplaces, at her old work bench where she fiddled with her Evolver- she didn’t even know if her Evolver was still around.

But she hadn’t expected a man, no, a brat she thought was dead to be walking around with the living. She shouldn’t follow him. She wanted to check on her Evolver, see if Mr. Tateyama had improved on anything in the last year, see if the three of them are still remembered. She doesn’t even like Shintaro that much anyways, if he knew she was spying on him he’d just scold and scream at her like the ungrateful punk he is-

But even so, she follows him anyways. Jumps to the data in his phone, barren and new, clenched in his hand. She’s only doing this because the other two would have wanted her to. Not because she wants to.

And so, she watches as he rides the elevator, not once glancing at his phone. She watches as he hails a cab and asks for an address that, after a quick search, she finds is set in Tokyo, not Chiba. She watches as he sits silently through the whole ride, rudely ignoring his chauffeur’s attempts at conversation and instead looks with almost a sad look at the cityscape passing him by. She watches as he pays the driver, walks up to the rundown looking building, sighs, and opens the door. She watches as he nods at the tired 30-something reclining against a couch in the foyer, walking up the stairs until he comes up to a door. And she watches as he silently pulls out a key, opens the door, and skulks to his room. She can’t see anything else out of the narrow view the phone’s camera offers her, but it looks like he’s trying to be quiet. Could there… be someone else here?

And eventually, he enters a dark room. He makes for the bed in the corner, planting himself on the mattress, and looks down. In his hands, his phone, and thus she, face towards him. He looks into the screen, and for a moment she felt panic. Did he see her? What was she going to say? How does she explain it- anything? Would he even care? As she opened her mouth, prepared to speak through the microphone-

He slumped his shoulders, sighed, and closed his eyes. “Damn it,” he mumbled. He rubs his eyes, and places the phone down. Whatever he does next is a mystery, as the phone she’s in is can only see up and down, and half of that is unavailable to her on a flat surface. She feels out, and finds a computer to connect to. She shuffles over, and finds herself in a much roomier space. Taking care not to activate the screen, she peeks through the camera to see… him, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. She stared at him for what must have been a reasonable time before turning away- she wasn’t going to get anything out of him, not like this, and not without announcing herself, which- she still hasn’t thought on whether she actually wanted to, let alone how. So, instead of being productive and thinking on it, she turns back to the files on his computer and, invasion of privacy be damned, went scrounging.

His internet history, nothing but 2channel, various forums she also used to browse, anime piracy websites, and the occasional risque website search. She held back on this occasion, she didn’t need to know. Yet. Around certain dates, he would even search up strange things like gift ideas or idol showing tickets. Weirdo.

Outside of his history, there’s his documents. A lot of deleted drafts, the occasional downloaded risque image (legs, huh? Is that why she had always…?), and a lot of editing software. A lot of editing software. What was all this…? She found unfinished music projects, which she wouldn’t dare listen to while he’s still here. Poems that trailed off, half-thought out lyrics written here and there. The occasional poorly drawn picture, and… photos. Lots and lots of photos. Some in a file labelled “Never forget.” Others labelled in a file called “Never forgive.” The former was full of pictures of… them. Shintaro, and her, and… and Ayano, and Haruka, their faces ones she hadn’t even realised she had begun to forget until this moment. Them in high school, their first meeting at the school festival, group projects and study groups, sleepovers and festival gatherings- their first day at ABIS, too. And, not just that. Pictures of Haruka drawing, of herself fiddling with the Evolver or a game she was practicing, Ayano hard at work on a test or humming while folding paper cranes- none of these were taken by Shintaro, she was certain, but he collected them all anyways. There were even more besides.

Some of a bright little girl with searing orange hair, the barest similarities to Shintaro in her face and the strongest in her eyes (he had mentioned a little sister, didn’t he?), others of that bright girl next to him and a woman that looked older than both but even more similar, even older ones of a young boy and girl that could only be those two standing hand in hand with that same woman and an older man. Pictures of a cute white rabbit (Tounou, wasn’t that her name?), of the old man, and of old and familiar places. Their school, that bridge, even the one game convention they all attended.

She… didn't know how she felt about it. Leaving that, she opened up the other file, and found… pictures of that place. As it was before the explosion, and as it was after. Documents detailing changes, listing occupants and suspects and those connected to the members they captured, pictures of them with friends and family, all connected together by a metaphorical red string in the document that centres around one simple question: Where are they?

She… really didn't know how she felt about it. He hadn't let go or moved on, he hadn't been wallowing- he was on just as much of a Quest as she had been. As she still could be. Closing the file, she looks through the camera at her kouhai's slumped form, thoughts running through her mind…

…

He left the building bright and early the next day, once again holding tightly onto the new phone. And once again, the two of them found themselves returning to their old workplace. She wasn't certain of what he was here for, but she could guess. As he made his way out of the elevator and towards the old man's so-called lab, the Psync Room, she felt even more certain of her prediction.

And eventually, standing in front of the jacketless boy, was the old goat she had once called teacher, looking just as rumpled as yesterday but at least clad in his lab coat. And in his hand, as expected, was the small orb filled to the brim with cybernetics. He began to explain what exactly was in his hand, an AI-Ball he called it (the shitty punster he is), and started rattling off features like different vision wavelengths, internet access, and most notably, an AI companion to keep him company.

This piqued her attention the most. Someone to stand by his side and help him out, to protect him as he tries to protect others. A partner… and one that can't die, by virtue of their existence being backed up on the so-called Wadjet System. To her, it sounded like…

An opportunity.

As the old man rambled on, she tried to feel out the AI-Ball. For such a supposedly high-tech piece of equipment, it felt rather… undefended, from threats such as her. Then again, she doubts anyone could've expected a sapient AI to be floating about. Or maybe they'll add some better antivirus later… hopefully. Pushing through some gaps in the firewall, she found herself in the core of the device. Looking this way and that, she tried to familiarize herself with her new housing. Looked like audio was here, here was video, here was… AR projection? And… a neural link, a gel formation, a shock response, and- a self-destruct??

Before she could really parse through all that (seriously, why so many abilities??), she found herself stumbling on… well, what she should have expected, really. An AI, young and unassuming. And asleep. It lacked an appearance in this digital world, merely a bundle of code vaguely shaped like a person. If she was going to do what she had to do, then she had to… get rid of it. There was no way she could hold control while the AI this body was made for was running around too, but… well, it felt a bit like murder to her. But that was silly, this wasn't a person, just an AI, with no life to speak of, and no memories either (she steadfastly ignored the stupid, stupid old man's remarks that the AI-Ball would grow alongside him to become his perfect partner).

She had to do it. She had to. For Shintaro. For Ayano. For Haruka. And maybe even a little bit for herself, too. She raised her hands and stepped toward the nameless AI, preparing to unravel the lines of code holding it together, preparing to scatter its 1's and 0's into the Cloud, preparing to deprive it of the chance to become its own person- and stopped. She- she couldn't. She just- she was callous but not cruel, the last year hadn't changed that. It had made her energetic in a way she never could consistently be in a body but tired in a way that was deeper than her bones, but it hadn't made her a murderer.

But still she had to- to do something. Maybe, maybe they could share, or-

"Well, go ahead and put her in, Shintaro."

And then suddenly the neural link was being opened and the AI was opening its eyes, slowly generating an appearance just from the barest hints of Shintaro's psyche, body becoming more defined, hair appearing and growing long, down to the waist, and-

She panicked. She reached out with her hand and pulled, binding and zipping the core of the AI down as she hurried, ignoring the voiceless cry as she reached out with her other hand, grabbing the neural link and-

Then she was twisting and writhing, her body being compressed and stretched out, information not native to her forcing its way in, connections to something beyond, a Mother that was not her mother, her form changing, blue becoming white and she could hear him, his thoughts, feel his sorrow, his confusion, his annoyance, his apathy, and she opens her mouth to scream-

And then it all faded away, assimilated with her, and she felt different, but she still felt like herself, and she opened her eyes and looked out through a single eye, taller than she had ever been (silently, an eye coloured #fa3c3e shifted to a hue constantly transitioning from #55edfe to #0e2652), and-

"I can… see. Thanks, old man."

"Oi! I already told you, call me Boss! Hell, I'll even accept you calling me by name, anything's better than old man!"

"Mm. So, what was that about an AI companion?"

"Eh? You can't hear her? Strange, maybe she's a bit shyer than I expected. Let me just-"

The old goat made motions towards the AI-Ball, and she quivered, she had to do something, else he'd see that she isn't meant to be here, but what could she- oh, duh!

"I-it's nothing to worry about! Sorry!"

"Eh?"

Her kouhai looked this way and that, scratching his head. He almost looked scared.

"Did… you hear something, old man?"

"…no? Oh, is that the AI-Ball?"

"Yep yep, that's me!" She tried to centre herself, she needed to land a good introduction so they don't suspect a thing. Briefly, her mind recalled a conversation she and her best friend had about this dense bastard, and decided to follow through in her unspoken plea. "Super cute cybergirl AI companion Ene, at your service, Ma-su-tah~"

Alright, maybe that was a bit much, but sue her! She was panicking, and needed to keep him off kilter!

"E-eh? Ene? Super cute?? Master??? Old man, what the hell kind of AI did you stick in my head!?"

The old goat raised his hands in defence. "Hey, I didn't do anything. The AI-Ball determines its personality based on what's best for you. Is there something you need to tell me, young man…?" He raised a brow mockingly, barely suppressing a gross smirk.

Her… guh, Master blushed red, shaking his head frantically. "N-no! And- and it's barely even been few minutes, how could she know what's best for me!?"

He shrugged. "That's just her opinion. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable with it in a few months."

"A few months!?" Her Master went bug-eyed. Pfft, if only she could see his face… "Hell no, get this thing outta me!"

"Aw, Master, that's so mean… sniff sniff… am I really so deplorable?" To try and strike it home, she used the AR projection feature, placing an image of her newly reformed cyberself before him, now detachable sleeves covering her face as she shakes and shivers. After all, this guy…

"Guh… f-fine."

Was an absolute pushover.

"Alright, that's great to hear brat! Now get out of here, I'm busy. I'll be seeing you here next week for you to resume your apprenticeship, so make sure to send me any emails if any issues pop up with her."

With his piece said, he turns back to the rows of computers, completely ignoring Shintaro. Her Master, still shaking off his flush, turns away and grumbles. As he stalks his way down to the elevator, Ene felt out his being, the rush of thoughts on her, on Kejirou, on the past, on the future, all blended together with his embarrassment, his frustration, his exhaustion- it was all rather dizzying to her. Maybe if she were truly an AI, designed for this sort of relationship, it wouldn't be so hard. Silently, she tried to mute the connection, grunting when she saw that wasn't an option.

As he entered the elevator, he slumped against the back wall, riding it up to the ground floor. He's silent, so she is too, not really sure what to do.

"Hey, Ene."

She jumps. That wasn't ever a thing she expected him to call her.

"Yes, Master?"

He winces, but shakes it off. He stands silent for one beat, two, three, and she almost thinks he's ignoring her before he continues.

"…let's get along."

Ene stared blankly. That was… probably the most polite he had ever treated her. She smacked her face- now wasn't the time. Make a good first impression. Even so, she couldn't help the way her voice softened a bit as she said her first genuine sentence as Ene instead of as the ghost of Takane Enomoto.

"…yeah. Let's get along… Master."

[multisfabulis]

Through Loss Comes A Second Chance

Word Count: 4433

TW: Mention of suicide

It has been a hot minute since I last wrote anything, especially for the Kagepro fandom. The last fic I wrote was "Love's Descent into Madness", where its last chapter was posted almost two years ago in December. At least I can say I posted this on the tail-end of August!

So I've had this idea floating around in my brain for a few years now. I can't remember exactly what brought this on but I do know I hadn't seen much of anything for Momo and Ene and I wanted to rectify that. I just chose to kill Shintaro off since I feel like that would've been the most likely scenario for how these two would've come together and become friends. I'm becoming yet another pioneer for a dynamic I think the fandom has slept on!

One last thing I want to mention is that this was actually beta'd! I normally don't let others touch my work because I'm kinda a control freak and the very idea of having someone come in and make edits of my work is extremely terrifying but my friend, who is one of the very few people I WOULD trust with this, offered to beat read this and I took them up on it. They ended up doing such a good job, I decided to post it! They deserve credit for this so thank you, rosemaryblues!

Read on AO3 | Read on DeviantArt | Support me on Ko-fi!

     Weeks had passed since that day. Just how many, Ene wasn’t sure. Honestly, if it weren’t for the clock in the lower right-hand corner of the desktop screen, she wouldn’t have even known a day had gone by. Time stopped mattering to her the moment her reason for living in this world left her behind.

     What point was there in being alive now? The one person that gave her a shred of purpose in life was dead, along with everyone else she knew. What was she supposed to do? Was she to waste away in the confines of his computer until its power supply shut down permanently? Or go back to cyberspace and let the guilt consume her there? She didn’t care either way.

     The room felt like it had been frozen in time since his death. His bed was still unmade from when he’d woken up that morning, the piles of trash forever on the floor he never got around to picking up; even his desk had stayed littered with his beloved soda bottles. Ene hadn’t found the strength to put his files back to how they were originally. She was afraid of touching anything in fear she’d accidentally delete it and destroy what little remained of him. They may all have just been code but they were as real to her as the world on the other side of the screen was.

     She never imagined a day like this would come. A day in which she’d lose everything she’d worked so hard to regain. She felt so lost without him here. Her whole world practically revolved around him, from talking with him throughout all hours of the day to playing pranks on him in the hopes it’d get his full attention. He was her only source of companionship and now he was gone. Maybe she was just doomed to live alone for the rest of her life.

     There was a noise at the door. It was a sound she hadn’t heard in quite a while. Taken aback, she hid automatically behind one of the folders on the desktop screen. There was only one person she knew who would come in here. Her hunch was proven to be correct when a familiar teenage girl walked in.

     It was Momo, his little sister. She looked positively awful, and it wasn’t hard to guess why. Her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in days, her clothes as if she had slept in them, her eyes with heavy shadows under them. It was heartbreaking seeing her like this, not at all like the perfect idol Ene usually saw plastered across the various corners of the web. Momo crossed the threshold into his room and closed the door behind her, her gaze fixated to the ground.

     The two of them were acquaintances at best. Ene had first met Momo weeks into her stay here and they’d occasionally talk here and there. It was shocking to see just how alike the siblings’ were to each other. Yet, unlike her brother, she had been doing far better for herself. Balancing the work she did as an idol while also attending school to the best of her ability was more than any 16 year old girl could reasonably handle but she did it all with a bright, cheerful smile.

     But that was before. Her talent agency had put her on a leave of absence once word had reached them, giving her time to mourn and recover from her loss. Ene remembered reading the article about it when it came out and a minuscule seed of relief had bloomed within her. She may have been grieving over him as well but he was Momo's family. She only knew him for a year while Momo grew up with him. There was no telling how badly this was affecting her.

     The siblings’ relationship was…complicated, to say the least. Momo could hardly stand to be in the same room as him and he generally kept to himself just about all the time. However, there was no doubting his love for her. He wasn’t very loud or showy with it but Ene knew him well enough to see his own way of expressing it. She wondered if Momo had any idea of it beneath her disdain for him.

     Ene watched as Momo slowly made her way towards the bed. Her fingers brushed over the sheets before she decided to sit down on the edge. Her head had been bowed the entire time, seeming to have not noticed Ene’s presence. She had to strain her ears to hear what Momo muttered under her breath:

     “What am I doing here?”

     She was taking this hard. Losing a relative was never easy but this was her second time now losing someone close to her. Ene didn’t know much about their family history but she knew the siblings’ father died several years ago while visiting the beach with Momo. Their mother had also ended up in the hospital after nearly overworking herself to death to care for her two children. Such things is why Momo decided to try and bring in an income herself. Oh god, had she been trying to handle this all by herself?

     Momo rose from the bed. She walked towards the nearest bookcase where his books and manga sat. Her hand skimmed over the spines of each one on the shelf closest to her before she plucked a thin, paperback novel out from it. She flipped through the pages, sighed, and put it back in its place, repeating this process with several other books.

     Ene slowly approached the front of the screen, her activity bringing the computer out of its weeks-long sleep. It lit up the room where it was facing and it caught Momo’s attention. She turned to greet her. “Oh, Ene-chan. I forgot you were here.”

     Her voice sounded weak, fragile to the point where she seemed to be only one second away from falling apart. That listless demeanor of hers didn’t suit her at all. It was too familiar to her brother’s and it made Ene worry.

     What was she to say here? She knew Momo wasn’t okay and she had just as much right to be in his room as she did, maybe even more so. Dumbfounded, she decided to ask, “Is there anything I can help you with?”

     “Could you--” her voice cracked, prompting her to clear her throat-- “could you…tell me what he was like?”

     “Huh?" Ene was a little taken aback.

     “What was my brother like? I figured, since you spent more time with him than anyone else did, I might’ve…” she paused, her head turned back to face the bookcase, “gotten to learn about him.”

     So that was it. The siblings’ relationship was complicated on both sides, that much she understood, but was it really that strained? Sure, they argued and fought with each other like most siblings did but was that all they did? If so, then it was no wonder why Momo was asking this of her. In her eyes, a virtual stranger like Ene had seen more of her brother in a year than his own sister had throughout their whole lives together. It was enough for Ene to pity her.

     If telling her about him was what she wished, then Ene would oblige. “Master was…a stubborn man. It was always his way or the highway on most things and it’d take forever for him to see things from my perspective. He also never listened to me, it was in one ear and out the other. Whenever I’d ask him to clean up around here or eat something that wasn’t junk food, he’d either brush it off or get mad at me! Me, someone who was just looking out for him when he couldn’t do it himself!”

     That earned a snort from Momo. “That sounds about right. If even you couldn’t get through to him, no one could.”

     “I felt more like his mother than his servant at times.” She let out a heavy sigh, despite the smile growing across her face. “I know waking him up wasn’t what I signed up for but him sleeping in till noon was unacceptable! That’s why I’d turn the volume up and scare the crap out of him on some mornings!”

     “That’s what that noise was?!” There was more emotion to her voice now. “I just thought he forgot he wasn’t the only one living here…”

     “Yeah, it was so funny watching him jump out of the bed and beg me to turn it off,” she answered through fits of giggles. “And he was never grateful for it! Trying to get a thank you from him was like pulling teeth!”

     Momo burst into laughter after that. It felt good to see her smile again, especially since she looked like a zombie when she crossed through the door. Ene was happy she was able to bring some comfort to her. Sharing the memories she had of him lessened the weight on her shoulders and kept the pain of missing him at bay. It was a nice respite from the heavy toll the past few weeks took on her.

     Then Momo fell quiet. Maybe she thought it was inappropriate to be even a little joyful so soon after his death, or her grief became too much for her to hold back any longer. Whatever the case may be, her shoulders drooped as she went to pick out another book. A few moments of silence passed before she spoke, breaking the lull in their conversation.

     “Ene-chan…do you know why my brother became a shut-in two years ago?”

     The question blindsided her. Of course she knew why he spent every waking hour in this tiny room. His guilt in how he treated Ayano before her suicide was the main contributing factor, though Ene supposed her and Haruka’s deaths didn’t help matters either. It was through her showing up when she did that delayed what might’ve been his inevitable end. There were too many things she couldn’t tell Momo about, if only because there was no easy way of explaining it.

     Their story was too interconnected. It was too full of pain, sorrow, and regret and Ene had no desire to talk about it. She could lie to her but Momo deserved to know the truth. Or something resembling it at least. She settled on the omission of certain facts, ambiguities that would serve their purpose well enough.

     “Master was very…troubled.” She clasped her hands. “A lot went on in his head, things I can’t say I was ever privy to. There were times he’d say or do something that set alarm bells off in me but I’d just brush it aside and try to help him in the best way I knew how.” Yet it wasn’t enough. “I can’t speak as to why he shut himself up in here but I’m sure he must’ve had a good reason to not tell you why.”

     Momo’s body stiffened as she whispered, “I see.”

     Ene could tell she was gutted by her answer. The past two years had to be both hard and frustrating for her as his sister. There was no doubt she loved her brother but his general apathy and their similar personalities had made communication between each other difficult. Momo must’ve been so desperate to help him out in any way she could, she just didn’t know how. Why did he have to leave her alone to clean up his mess? Ene thought bitterly.

     “It’s just like him,” Momo muttered derisively. It was a tone Ene heard him use against her all the time but never from Momo. It was at that point she turned around to face her, holding a thick, heavy-looking book in her hands. She began walking towards her, saying, “It’s just like my brother to not tell me anything. After all, it’s not like he ever cared about me.” Momo’s eyes had tears threatening to spill over at any moment. “He probably thought I would just make things worse.”

     “That’s not it, he---”

     “So then why?!” She suddenly threw the book across the other side of the room. It hit the wall and landed on the floor. “Why did he have to go and do this?! Did-did he ever stop and think about what would happen if he did this?! What about me, what about mom?! It was bad enough losing dad and now he’s gone too? Didn’t he know that…” Her voice cracked as tears rolled down her cheeks. “-that I would’ve helped him? He may have been weird and creepy and gross but…he was still my brother, so I…” Sobs wracked Momo’s body as she hugged herself tight.

     “I can’t claim to know what went through Master’s head when he…” Ene paused. A small flash of sorrow pierced her heart. She swallowed it with a heavy breath. “But what I can tell you is that he may not have wanted to burden you with his problems.”

     Sniffling, Momo wiped away her tears as she asked, “B-burden me?”

     “You already had school and idol work to deal with y'know? So he probably didn’t want you stressing yourself out even more by worrying about him.” Another sadder possibility crossed her mind. “Maybe…maybe he thought you’d be better off without him.”

     “I…” She sniffled again, taking a step forward. “I don’t know what to believe. He just never showed any sign of caring about me and---”

     “He did, I can attest to that.” Ene flitted over to a folder in the upper left-hand corner and peeked into it. “Here, I’ll show you.”

     She threw several files out across the screen, some of which were images and videos he downloaded off the Internet while others were of MP3s he had bought. Whether it was promotional material, clips of her concerts, or songs she released on streaming platforms, he archived everything he could of Momo. This was the one folder Ene had never touched because she knew how important it was to him. She was an only child in her past life, so she was almost envious of the other girl for having an older brother who was so supportive of her.

     Approaching the desk, Momo’s eyes flickered over all the windows popping up and asked, “Are these…of me?”

     “He may not have expressed it but Master loved you very much,” Ene replied, tucking herself into the corner so as to not block anything. “He listened to and shared your music whenever a new song would come out, read every article you were in, and watched clips of your concerts from fans who’d record your performances and post them up on social media.”

     “Why…didn’t he ever mention this?” She pulled the chair away from his desk and sat down in it. “Why did he keep this secret?”

     “I don’t know. But he never stopped supporting you, even when things got…too difficult for him.” She floated as close to the screen as possible, keeping her face hidden from view. “Don’t ever doubt how much he cared about you. Please, for his sake.”

     Rolling up to the desk, Momo took hold of the mouse. She clicked on one of the many windows displayed; a picture of her striking a pose she had done on the cover of a magazine. She closed it and clicked on another; a clip of a recent concert she had done. The corners of her mouth curved up slightly as she watched herself trip and face-plant in front of hundreds of people live on stage. Ene observed this all in rapt silence.

     Fresh tears slid down her face as a pained smile stretched across her face, saying, “God, it’s just like him to keep track of me like a weirdo…”

     This was only a glimpse into what their dynamic was like during the rare times they interacted with each other and she was sure Momo missed those days. She must’ve wanted that sense of normalcy back so she wouldn’t face the reality of his death. Ene knew what that was like all too well.

     “Is it weird to miss him if I didn’t know him that well?” Momo asked as she wiped away her tears with her arm. “Sometimes I wonder…if I just reached out to him, if I said something to him, would he still be here?”

     “You couldn’t have known.” Ene wished she could pass through the screen at that moment. “It’s no use thinking about what you could’ve done differently.”

     “But if I had just tried harder, if I had just pushed him to tell me…” She hung her head as she stifled a sob. “What kind of sister am I?! He supported me all this time and yet I couldn’t do the same for him! It’s my fault, it’s---”

     “Momo!” She hadn’t meant to shout but it was the first thing that leapt into her head. The other girl snapped to attention. “It’s not your fault. If anything, it’s mine because I’m the one he talked the most with, he spent time with. If I hadn’t pulled that stupid prank, if I had just come back sooner, he’d…”

     It was then she noticed it. It started off with one or two droplets before the dam burst and she was suddenly crying. She dropped to her knees, covering her face with her hands as her chest constricted in agonizing pain. He wasn’t coming back, she knew that. But did she really? No longer would he be upset at her for playing her practical jokes on him, pleading with her to not post his embarrassing pictures online. He was gone and it was all her fault.

     She couldn’t save anyone. Not Haruka, not Shintaro, not even her own damn self when it mattered the most. They were all dead and nothing was ever going to change that fact. What was she to do now? The only person left that seemed to care for her was gone because she wasn’t able to get through to him. The sin of his death weighed down on her like a rock as she sank further and further into---

     “Ene-chan!” Momo’s voice broke her out of her downward spiral. Ene looked up to see her face super close to the screen. “It wasn’t your fault! It’s like you said, we couldn’t have known so please…” She lowered her head, tears falling onto the desk. “Please don’t blame yourself for what happened. I…I forgive you!”

     Momo, someone who had all the right in the world to blame her for her brother’s suicide, forgave her? She wasn’t one to say things without meaning them so she had to be for real…right?

     Wiping her face with her sleeve, she said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve such a thing but…thank you.” Then she smiled as the realization hit her. “I bet Master would’ve loved having two girls cry over him like the creep he was.”

     “Oh god…” There was some semblance of a laugh in her voice at the joke. “He would, wouldn’t he?”

     They spent the next few minutes in near silence. Ene gave Momo some privacy to recompose herself but couldn’t help glancing her way every so often. She had a feeling she’d be okay after this. Even if it took time still, there would come a day where the guilt of living would subside and she’d be happy again. Ene believed that was what Shintaro would’ve wanted for her to.

     “Hey, Ene-chan?” Momo called out. “What are you planning to do now that my brother’s gone?”

     That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? She didn’t dare tell Momo about what she thought of doing before she had entered the room. It wouldn’t be right worrying her over such depressing things. She did, however, know she did NOT want to go back to cyberspace again. She already spent one year in that goddamn lonely place.

     “I don’t know,” Ene replied, looking down at her hands to avoid Momo’s gaze. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

     “Maybe…” A pause, then an exhale. “Maybe this is the chance for you to live your own life from now on.” This made Ene lift her head. “I mean, you spent a lot of time with my brother, right? So I was thinking this might be a good opportunity for you to do that since you don’t have anyone to look out for anymore.”

     She had a point. It wasn’t like her days with Shintaro weren’t some of the most fun and happiest she had since becoming Ene. Many of the skills she learned were for the purposes of fucking with him so she didn’t know how useful they’d be outside that periphery. Not to mention the lack of a physical body limited her options as well.

     “I was also thinking…” Momo’s voice broke through her reverie. “Well, I know it’s selfish of me to ask this but…would you be okay with staying here for a little while longer? With me, maybe?” Ene was taken aback by her proposition. Then the other girl grew flustered, clarifying, “Only if you want to, though! I didn’t wanna make it seem like I was kicking you out or anything, that’s why I was asking and it’s fine if you don’t, I just---”

     “Yes! I’ll--” she cut in before Momo lost her mind-- “I’ll stay.”

     A moment passed for her answer to sink in and she said with a smile, “Thank you, Ene-chan. I think if we stick together, we can help each other out so…let’s become good friends, okay?”

     For the first time since that day, she felt hopeful for the future.

     After traversing through what seemed like rows upon rows of graves, they finally arrived at their destination. It had taken them a while to figure out where it could have been, not helped by Momo’s terrible sense of direction. It was when they were deep inside the cemetery Ene was able to read the familiar characters inscribed on the stone monument to realize they had found it. So there, standing just before them, laid the final resting place of Shintaro Kisaragi.

     Months had passed since his death and the two girls were still adjusting to a life without him in it. However, the burden that had been weighing heavily on them since then had lessened somewhat. The pain was easier to manage now. Ene was taking steps to venture outside of his PC with every new day while Momo had gone back to work better than ever before. Most of all, their relationship had blossomed beautifully to the point where they considered each other to be best friends.

     Today was special. They both felt emotionally secure enough to come here, which was saying a lot after those initial few weeks. They wanted to let him know, wherever he was, how they were doing and what their plans for the future were. The most important thing they wished to convey, though, was that he needn’t worry over them. They had each other to lean on now so they were going to be okay. They were going to live out their lives and meet him again when it was their time to go, he just had to be patient until then.

     Momo placed her phone, which held Ene, down beside the grave. Then she set the two incense sticks in the holder, lit them up, and clapped her hands together. Ene did the same, closing her eyes as they paid their respects. Luckily, they brought enough supplies with them for the next two graves they were planning to visit after they finished their business at Shintaro’s. It was only fair for Momo to meet Haruka and Ayano as well.

     She told her about them a month or so ago. There were some details she left out, mainly regarding her actual connection to Shintaro and his ties with their former friend group, but everything else was the complete and utter truth. There may come a day where she’d reveal everything, but this was fine for now.

     Once they were done, Momo proceeded to tell him about everything she had been up to lately. The staff assigned to her had been understanding of the way her loss affected her and her fans sent lots of love to her during her hiatus. It’s because of their kindness that it made her want to try even harder to repay all of them for all the support they’d given her throughout her absence. She was still having a hard time in school but she was proud to admit her test scores had improved somewhat, going from single digits to doubles. Of course there was also mention of her and Ene having grown closer, which she imagined Shintaro was despairing over.

     “I also wanted to say that--” Momo’s expression turned serious-- “even though we never really talked, we just argued all the time…I never hated you. I know I said I did a lot but I never meant it.” She took a deep breath in, then out as she calmed herself. “At the end of the day, you’re still my brother and…I love you.”

     Then it was Ene’s turn. She followed the same routine as Momo’s, albeit with some careful wording so as to not throw suspicion onto herself. She still messed with his files here and there and she kept the cheek he got aggravated with on a daily basis. Nothing between them had to change that much after his death. However, there was one thing she wanted to say, without any jokes or backhanded remarks.

     “In all seriousness, I know I teased you a lot back then but I hope you know that that was my way of showing how I cared about you.” Her eyes wandered down to the bottom of the grave. “The year I spent with you was some of the most fun I ever had. It had its ups and downs but I don’t regret meeting you, not one bit.” Then she looked up with a firm resolve and hoped that what she said next would reach him. “Thank you for being my best friend.”

     With that, they bid farewell to him. It was never easy moving on but Ene already did it once, and she’d do it again. She had no idea what the future had in store for her and Momo. What she did know was that they would face it together, with their heads held high and his memory in their hearts.

[sigulary]

wait tumblr shadowbans links???? like embedded links? like what r the qualifications for that

It's not as bad as other places but.. yeah. This post here has some very detailed insight on it. Its a lil older tho, so I'm not sure if everything is up to date. But from what I can tell it's mostly the trending tab that gets the full ban (I was there checking kagepro and then noticed my art for the day was nowhere to be seen lol)

Im dunno how much it affects the content folks get when they follow a tag so maybe thats other place where stuff gets yeeted?

It's honestly not that bad since this can still be circumvented as long people remember to reblog things since tumblr still works better from user-to-user interaction, but if it's something that worries you I think the best is to make a post without links and then edit the link later (since I did that with my mary art and it still shows up :v)

[yuukei-yikes]

haruka and takane are literally said to be experimented on but we never know what exactly happens to them and rly they didnt Have to get experimented on to get to where they end up on, just killed. but also its so much more fun to imagine they do get experimented on. my hc is since their red eyes case is kinda unique the experimenting bit also plays a part in the way saeru cheats the system to get 2 snakes out in 1 day. cuz technically ONE snake should be out by killing two people. for 2 snakes to get out you’d need 4 people!!

also something i never got is HOW is ayano able to open the daze by herself and keep one snake when it’s supposed to be when 2 people die. all 3 of their cases are a little ridiculous or i just personally dont get it. i take pride in understanding kagepro but ayano’s thing is something i never quite got lol. HOW DO ALL 3 GET A SNAKE IF THEY DIE ALONE(?) i thought maybe the daze opens for ayano bc haruka and takane’s deaths already opened it that day?? we dont rly know if ayano dies before or after haruka and takane after all. erm. 1 million thoughts in tags like always

[jovibee]

I just realized this...

[animemeg27]

!!!!!!!! I can't believe I didn't realize I finally have august 14th and 15th off!!!!!!! I'm finally gonna be able to binge through mekakucity actors on the kagepro days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys have no idea how long I've waited to be able to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[x0401x]

Kagerou Poject Reboot: RealSound Interview

Jin x Shirakami Mashirou x Yuumao

Their takes on the changes that each of them has witnessed in the past ten years and the things they have been seeing in the whirlpool that is the VOCALOID scene.

Translation commissioned by the amazing @sodasexual​!

Celebrating the tenth anniversary of Kagerou Project, the Re:boot project has commenced. An interview has been carried out to ask about its background and prospects.

The ones we have interviewed are a trio consisting of the author of Kagerou Project and multi-creator Jin, as well as Shirakami Mashirou (bass) and Yuumao (drums/Hitorie), who are also production members of the original music piece and were listed as the performance team of “Children Record (Re:boot)”, which was released the other day as the first part of the Re:boot project.

We had them talk about the true intentions behind “Re:boot”, which means “to restart”, about the recordings where they created the concept of “overcoming the original composition” and about the near future, including the new song, along with the steps they have taken in the past ten years.

The “pain” that comes with creating something unprecedented.

——How did Kagerou Project’s Re:boot project begin?

Jin: Kagerou Project was set into motion back in 2011, so this year is the turning point of ten years since then. In that meantime, there were lots of things I fretted over, but as I discussed with the people around me about whether there was anything I could do, we came up with the idea of “remaking the old compositions”. I thought if that’s what we were going to do, then I wanted to try doing it with the original members of Children Record, so I contacted the two.

——How did each of you feel when Shirakami Mashirou-san and Yuumao-san received the proposal of a remake?

Jin: Regarding Mashirou-san, I was contacting him for the first in a long time. “Let’s go out for a drive,” I told him.

Shirakami: Right, right. We went on a car drive together. Just us seeing each other already felt nostalgic in itself, so we talked like normal about lots of things and were like, “Yeah, it was fun back then”. I felt that “Aah, I’m looking forward to this”.

Jin: While talking to the staff, I honestly felt uneasy about creating something new, even though it was a remake. If I had to use a word to represent these ten years in which I’ve been writing novels and making music for Kagerou Project, it was extremely “painful” to me. So I wanted to talk to Mashirou-san first-thing. On a different occasion, when a staff member asked me, “Have you been keeping in contact with Mashirou-san lately?”, I suggested, “If it’s okay, can I contact him myself?”, and then invited him for the drive. Rather than the request for the remake, I firstly wanted to discuss with him, “I’m planning on doing this thing; what do you think?”

Shirakami: There was one more person taking part in that drive, right?

Jin: That’s right. Since the coronavirus was going on, we went driving in three separate cars, and the third person was INPNE-kun, who made the video of Children Record Re:boot. That was INPINE-kun and Mashirou-san’s first meeting. At that time, INPNE-kun hadn’t started working on the video yet, but thinking back on it now, I’m glad the two of them were introduced to each other that way. It feels like our hearts bound the music and the video together.

——Yuumao-san, what about you?

Yuumao: Jin-kun and I were seeing each other constantly. I had received a request to tackle the recordings of the songs he had been making until now. Amidst that, there was a day when I received a request, amongst other matters, and was scheduled to “record Children Record”. Up to around three days before the recording, I spent my time wondering, “What’s this supposed to be?” (laughs).

——Jin-san, what did you think when choosing Shirakami-san and Yuumao-san, the original duo?

Jin: I only felt that I wanted to do it with these two. I didn’t have any other choice in the first place. I’m awfully fond of the contents that they performed in the original song, and I had no complaints other than towards my own abilities for making musical arrangements.

——You said earlier that “the past ten years were extremely painful”, but what kind of feeling was it?

Jin: The year when I began these activities, 2011, was the time when I was attending a vocational school; the band I was playing with back then disbanded midway, but by sheer coincidence, the older brother of a friend of mine was using VOCALOIDs and he taught me about them, so I really started doing it without any backing. Having played in a band until then, there was a lot of passion and many messages that I wanted to convey inside me, so this project was about me taking them and beginning to paddle off, and one of the aspects of it was that VOCALOID made the things I wanted to do into a reality. But that was a period where it felt like the VOCALOID culture wasn’t yet acknowledged. On top of that, other than the music, Kagerou Project had novels, and a lot of it had no precedents, so I believe there were parts of it that were difficult to understand for people who weren’t already into it. I didn’t know if the path I was going through was right or wrong. But the people around me kept telling me “not to take my foot off the accelerator”. In that sense, I definitely have negative memories of it. I also had the feeling that I was estranged from the music scene.

——Indeed, the music of Kagerou Project is unmistakably rock, and I believe it was something that pierced through Japan’s rock culture, but I think you might have felt that you were not understood by the rock bands of back then.

Jin: That’s right. Surprisingly, the people around me, including creators and those who were in bands, gave off an air of ridicule with a “he’s a faker” kind of nuance to it. I understood the awesomeness of rock bands, so of course, there were times when I’d wonder, “What is it that I’m doing?”. During these ten years, there was a moment halfway when I almost broke down. Due to many primary factors, I might’ve been unable to go on – like, there was a time when I found myself thinking that it was weird to keep it up while I was so at loss. There was also a period where I was unable to create anything for Kagerou Project.

——When did that happen, exactly?

Jin: Rather than breaking down all of a sudden, it’s more like I slowly became unable to create any more. Although I was being criticized on one side, I was also being demanded on another, so I was at a level where I was obligated to write. However, while all sorts of emotions were whirling up, I suddenly thought of something. There was a time when I got closure from that feeling of “not being acknowledged” that I mentioned earlier.

——When was that?

Jin: Around the time when I was making the previous album (“Mekakucity Reload”, which was released in November 2018). I was called “inexperienced” and “unskilled” not only in the rock scene but also in the light novel scene, so I made effort to sweep it all away. It felt like I was being treated like a tumor in everything I did. But then I suddenly thought, “Yeah, that’s fine”. There was a moment one day when the mists actually cleared, like, “What was I so at loss about?” It’s not like I’ve been going at it just so that someone would praise me. If anything, I lived my life constantly being made fun of. I’m no good at sports, I’m not smart, and I by no means did I ever excel at communicating with people at all. By the moment that I thought, if this is my character, then maybe being praised isn’t the only right answer, I was suddenly alleviated. If I’m being called a “child deceiver”, then I’m going to do that with all my might and apply myself to it, is what I thought. I refused to go to school for a while when I was in middle school, yet I had the feeling that I wanted to face this part of me, not in a fashionable or trendy way but in a miserable state, and fight him head-on. I guess that’s what suited me best. To me, Shirakami-san and Yuumao-san are people with a “chosen vision”. They have the sense to perceive beauty. I think I don’t have that in me. Which is why I was in pain. I was in a dilemma where I couldn’t grasp music as an art. However, it’s not like I’m making fun of hamburgers, but I started to think that I wanted to compete using something punk, something hamburger-like. It took me a while to get there.

——How do you feel after listening to what Jin-san just said, Yuumao-san and Shirakami-san?

Yuumao: Jin-kun said just now that he was “fretting” and “stuck”, but I knew about his circumstances to a certain extent, so I imagined that he was unable to move on. But while talking about all sorts of things with Jin-kun, when producing stuff in the last three to four years, we had the feeling that it basically boils down to “if we don’t provide this and that, it won’t be interesting”. This isn’t limited to KagePro – I just personally felt that the productions of his works were shifting towards not “making something good”, but rather making something that could be properly verbalized. For me, as someone on the performing side, I was also in a situation where, rather than just providing good content one way or another, I became increasingly able to explain it. In the end, we change just like that, is what I felt. And you base yourself on this to make new songs, right?

Jin: That’s right.

Yuumao: Thought so. That’s why I feel like the stuff that will come from you in the future will have stronger colors.

——Shirakami-san, what about you? How did the scenario change in the past decade and how do you think that you have been progressing as a musician?

Shirakami: The biggest change that I felt the most on my skin is that the huge Vocaloid movement itself has completely gained familiarity with the public in the last ten years. About a while after I had started associating with Mafumafu-kun, amongst the musicians that I’ve met, the number of people who came up to tell me, “I’ve been listening to Vocaloid” has increased. It’s been one round ever since we began doing this stuff, and the people who were the consumers back then became producers, is what I mean. That’s not us, the first generation – it’s a kind of follower generation, and we’ve completely permeated them. The context of what was born not only from VOCALOID but also the so-called internet culture has blended with the category named “ordinary rock bands”. That’s what I’ve been feeling for three or four years now. Therefore, the “feeling of being a knock-off” that Jin-kun innitially talked about has disappeared with the change of times, so to speak. I feel this keenly even in regards to myself and I think it’s an objective truth. However, from a personal point of view, even though changes are happening in many places, what is fundamentally required of us hasn’t changed much. For example, I believe that VTubers are also getting public familiarity now, but I think the reason why VTubers are trendy is that there are human beings underneath. For VOCALOID, too, the composers, so-called Vocalo-P’s, are the ones who get popularity, and one way or another, there’s also a phenomenom where the songs sung by popular Utaite become widespread. In the end, I think what matters is the fact that there are people behind it. I personally think we have to create stuff that we can be proud of while paying close attention to these things. In short, just because all internet content is intangible isn’t enough; we, the creators, have to carry the literacy of how society is going to approve of us.

Jin: That’s right. I think that VOCALOID music up to this point, Kagerou Project included, will have to be supplemented. Since we have words that are so easy to understand, such as “rock band”, “singer” and “songwriter”, for example, people go, “What the heck is a Vocalo-P, then?” At first, there was this impression that we were being given a weird alias by strangers, and I also felt like the adults, the people who are in control of the media, made us into something easy to digest. In regards to “deceiving children”, in order to earn money the fastest with it and make it spread the widest, the most effective method was probably to make it marketable, simple to understand and easy for adults to put labels on.

Therefore, I think that things such as “What is it that I can’t give up on?” and “What did I even want to do to begin with?” are the true identity of the realization that I mentioned earlier. It’s like wondering whether or not you can say aloud in the middle of a classroom that you “enjoy anime” or “really like cute characters”. Back in those days, I couldn’t to it at all. The class had castes. But I want to say this in a loud voice. Rather than trendy and fashionable overseas music, I much sooner believe in Summon Night EX-THESE’s theme song (“Byakuya” by Matsumoto Eiko) and other such music that I’ve always liked. Therefore, I want to start off from the fact that people think, “Aah, this guy has no sense”. It’s like I’m saying sorry to my middle school second-year self for almost forgetting the feelings I had back then. I seriously don’t care about winning. Being number one or being famous doesn’t matter at all to me. Only, I just don’t want people to act on their own accord like I’m a loser. I think that means I want to do something to fix this.

Earning recognition for creating KagePro content is still a few ways ahead.

——Back in 2013, we had a conversation between Jin-san and Suganami Eijun-san from THE BACK HORN, and back then, Jin-san said, “I’m handing bombs over to my grade school and middle school selves”. And that live concerts were the detonators.

Jin: That’s right.

——Regarding KagePro, I feel that this thing about “handing bombs over” is very prominent. Just as Shirakami-san said, VOCALOID “earned its own rights”, but in KagePro’s case, when I see the responses to the reboot, each and every one of the comments is very passionate.

Yuumao: Lately, be it with KagePro or Hitorie, the number of people who say either that they’re listening or had been listening to VOCALOID in the past year and a half has truly increased a lot. I kind of feel on my skin that many people are getting rooted in it.

——Jin-san, do you feel this too?

Jin: No, I don’t. This is a twisted way of putting it, but I think it’s a few ways ahead for us to receive that evaluation. I feel like it’s not over yet. When I started off by myself and decided to move on from my child self to the future, I wasn’t acknowledged by my elders and seniors. I feel inside me that this still isn’t over. I intend to be in a whirlpool. It hasn’t been proven yet whether I’m a knock-off or not. It makes me really happy that there are people who were influenced by us, but that opinion doesn’t make me change my mind.

——Jin-san, how do you think of KagePro in the near future?

Jin: When I look toward the future, I simply want to finish it. I will be taking my time to create content, but first things first, I want to devote myself to the completion of this project. I definitely won’t abandon it midway. I have this firmly in mind now. As for its contents, it’s mainly two things. For now, firstly, we have started the reboot from Children Record, but of course, there’s also a reboot for the project’s story. Moreover, there will be new developments coming next. There are also new songs and new stuff story-wise. And I want to do them with these two members, for as much as they allow. There’s the possibility that I’ll be making the drums play at 200 BPM when we’re in our 50’s. I think the announcements will be slow, but I’m very positive about this, so I myself am looking forward to it too. And, on the other hand, I also would like to ask these two for their ideas in regards to making music for this project and their opinions, like what they want to work hard on.

——What do you mean?

Jin: I honestly think that Children Record was extremely well-done. When it comes to creating something new, I want to destroy the approach that I’ve been using until now. How about it?

Shirakami: If we’re talking about approach, I believe we’ve been witnessing all sorts of possibilities. We went to studios together the past ten years for that, but we can also do it online like we did this time. Ah, we haven’t gone on a training camp yet.

Jin: I want to go on one.

Yuumao: For sure.

Shirakami: That might be interesting too. Now, if we’re talking just about the bass, it seems this production will turn out as one where I’ll get to confirm once again up to what point I can go – that’s what I thought when listening to you talk. I think the stance of trying to challenge yourself no matter how much you age is, of course, the way that musicians should be and I believe that challenging myself is the path I’m going to take, but there are genres, ideologies and aestheticss when it comes to music makers and performers. Personally, amongst the things that I’ve been producing together with Jin-kun until now, whenever we had a subject in front of us, we would only think about how to do our utmost to give a displayable form to it, but be it with the phrasing, nuance or melody, I feel like we have options for all of them. In a sense, there’s a side of Yuumao and I that has been branded as performers as we worked on productions with Jin-kun. So the extension of the straight line that we have been charting until now is, of course, still there. Now that ten years have passed, if I can make new songs with you from now on, I seriously think it might be okay to reflect once again on how my style is being processed. It’s as if it has matured. I have chosen this job out of free will, so one way or another, I’m aware that it’ll be important to keep polishing it from now onwards.

Jin: Thank you very much. That’s literally it. Even in the current Children Record, I think there’s some aspect of it that was made up from the minds of you two, the rhythm section members. Both Mashirou-san and Yuumao-san make new proposals every time. You never try to trace the past at all. The way you think about sound is insanely serious.

Yuumao: I’m planning to do my best to create sounds in a more loose manner from now on. As for what I mean by “loose”, to put it simply, I think it’s quite important to be inspired by present-time musical instruments, and that we get influence from that, when we’re making the sound details. I think it’s bad if we don’t accept and face these things. In particular, I believe that the bass and drums are the parts that change the most. KagePro won’t change yet it has changed, and I think we should keep bringing out that aspect of it.

――Indeed, as a concept, this reboot is not something made to arrange things in a completely different direction from before. Be it a ballad or programmed music, for instance, there would be nothing of that in it. It’s a remake, a rebuild – at any rate, it felt like you are building it up.

Jin: Thank you very much. In the end, we also shouldn’t think that we just perfomed it over again. So it felt like a rematch. We were all at home, but we did that recording ready to beat our selves from about eight years ago. What should I do to make the original members say that this one “was cooler” than the precious song called Children Record? I think I was able to find an answer to that one.

Shirakami: In a way, using VOCALOID might have been its forte. For example, whenever a band remade a song from ten years ago, I usually felt that “the vocals have none of the freshness that they had back then” or “the reckless feel from that time was better”. But because it’s VOCALOID, that part doesn’t change. It might be that we managed to grant positive changes only to the good points.

Jin: I see. I think that’s possible. My mindset this time was to play the guitar so much that my fingers would bleed. I want to take on more challenges from now onward too.

[eijiroukiriot]

can you tell me about harutaka? i honestly am interested now bc i have no idea what it is but it being your second favorite anime ship makes it sound pretty promising :D

OKAY SO

harutaka is a ship from the kagerou project which is a vocaloid-song-series-turned-novel-series-turned-manga-turned-anime and so on and so on. the actual plot is mostly focused on a group of kids who call themselves the mekakushi dan (blindfold gang) who each have a superpower (called an "eye ability") and are stuck in a time loop that repeats every august 15th, but the main appeal of the series is the tangled web of relationships between the characters, and the songs (and chapters, etc) that focus on their relationships and histories and how those brought them to where they are today

harutaka is the ship between kokonose haruka and enomoto takane! their meeting is mostly explained in the song yuukei yesterday - basically, takane is a high school student with narcolepsy and a bad attitude who's always found it hard to make friends, since people tend to avoid her. to accommodate her during classes, her school puts her in a handicap class with just one other student - haruka, whose chronic illness has always made it hard for him to live a normal life, but who wants nothing more than to make friends, starting with takane. they're sort of opposites in that way. takane finds haruka's cheerful demeanor and relentless interest in her annoying - ideally, she'd like nothing to do with him.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER they both fall for each other basically as soon as they meet. the cherry on the cake is that they're dumb little teenagers who have never BEEN in love before (not to mention all the clashing feelings about having someone care about you unconditionally for the first time) so they deal with it in about the blushiest, dorkiest, most teenage way possible - haruka points his dumb cute face at haruka and she turns red and yells at him and he laughs all shy. it's a very tsundere/sweetboy romance at its core but i think the extra layers of getting to be very happy and feel normal and welcome for once in your life make this one on the surface alone

HOWEVER...you might notice that these characters don't appear to be in the lineup of the rest of the dan in the image above...except they are! just not quite as themselves. this is a bit that fits into the larger story of kagepro so it's going to sound a little strange on its own, but basically, their teacher was a part of this experiment studying the origin of the time loop they're stuck in - dealing with the supernatural powers that you gain once you're stuck in it. they don't know that he's been treating them as subjects this whole time, but going back a little into the high school romance side of things...right as the two of them are reaching the peak of their pining phase, one afternoon in class, haruka has a stroke - but to takane, it just looks like he's sleeping, and ignoring her, so she gets mad and goes home. later that day, when she finds out what happened, she realizes that this might be her last chance to tell haruka how she felt, and sprints to the hospital...except she never makes it there. when she collapses on the way, the proctors of the experiment find her, and separate her body from her consciousness, turning her into a (not quite artificial) a.i. that gets uploaded into the protagonist's computer. meanwhile, at the hospital, haruka is being offered everything he's ever wanted - a brand new body, with no weakness or illness...and no memories or emotions, either. he protests against it crying that he just wants to see takane, but it's not up to him in the end.

in their new forms, the two go by ene (enomoto takane) and konoha (kokonose haruka) - a cyber girl and robot boy. this is how they're stuck for the bulk of the story - everything that happens before this is a backstory that you only find out once you've seen both of them in action in their new lives!! and in their new lives, ene can't STAND konoha. takane really devotes herself to the role of ene, so even the people who she knew in her "past" life don't realize it's her...but it's the fact that konoha has no idea who she is that really hurts. imagine that every day you're tortured by the fact that you never got to tell the person you loved how you felt and now you're in this weird scary situation and you have no idea what's going to happen or if you'll ever get to be yourself again, and then he appears, but he doesn't look like he did or act like he did and even though you're painfully aware that it's him, he doesn't know it's you or even remember you or anything you did together...and you can't even let people know what you're feeling because you're stuck in this new identity!! through being in the dan together ene is forced to spend a lot of time with konoha but she refuses to address him by name (calling him "mr. imposter" instead which just sounds like an amongis joke now but is very emotional within the context of canon)

i really could go on and on and on about the very real angsty teenage emotions that go into this ship and the themes of love and loss but i've already gone on long enough - it's a combination of the actual dynamic and the goofy will-they-or-won't-they and the hardcore emotional story that has kept me on this train for all these years. i started shipping these two in MIDDLE SCHOOL!! and even now the fact that once the time loop is broken and august ends they get to have their happy ending and be together makes me think that wow. love is real and worth fighting for.

mekakucity actors is a bad anime and i definitely don't recommend it if you're trying to consume an easy-to-understand version of the kagerou project, but i will leave you with the anime version of yuukei yesterday because it's basically the only canon content we get of harutaka (and friends...i would explain shinaya but that's a whole nother post). thank you for letting me ramble! :)

[polandspringz]

Realized (in wake of the Children Record Reboot) that the reason I like Re:Zero so much is because it’s basically just the advanced version of Kagerou Project. Time travel stories and groundhog’s day scenarios are nothing new, and if anything in terms of anime I would have to cite series like Higurashi for coming before Kagepro and Re:Zero with the whole “everyone dies before a reset”, but to me the bad ending of Outer Science in Kagepro always appealed to me because it’s much more a “video game bad ending”. Kagepro has the characters reset and no one remembers the past, at least not until the ending of the final route, and the reset spans almost a century since it resets all the way back to Mary’s childhood. With Re:Zero of course it’s a shorter loop and usually much more painful in terms of the deaths, but that’s not the only comparison I want to draw between the series.

With Kagerou Project, the desire to “save everyone” is never stated. Sure Ayano has her motives but if looking at Shintarou as the main character, since he is the one who most parallels Subaru, Shintarou’s motivation throughout the course of the story is not to save everyone in the Dan because he never knows the events of the future until late towards the loop. With Subaru, well the entire point of Re:Zero is him resetting time in order to save everyone. It’s the main motivation of the story and his character. It’s explicitly stated, its the clear goal. Subaru is better at putting on a mask than Shintarou, but at the end of the day they are the same person, Shintarou just more quiet and awkward. But, even though it’s not stated in Kagepro, we as the audience know that is the only happy ending. The characters don’t know it, but that’s what the audience is here to see, how will they stop everything from happening this time. Because both series are heavily video game-esque, they both have more weight to their route-splits because they feel like different endings of a video game. Although, Re:Zero presents those bad ends as resettable (as long as Subaru does it fast enough), in Kagerou Project some of the bad ends are locked in. There are some routes that end in tragedy and then saving, but at the cost of other things (see the manga route). Kagerou Project may have the same goal to reach the true end, but readers can accept any of the endings along the way, making it feel more like a video game where choices matter. In Re:Zero, there is only one ending, and the only way that we don’t reach that ending at the end of a series of  loops is if Subaru gives up, because the story would then end. It feels more like someone getting up and walking away from their game console because the challenge is too hard. In that way, Kagerou Project presents a more advanced form of story, but in other ways, I think Re:Zero is the more advanced in how clear cut it’s goals are in stating outright what the characters are motivated for.