#since they’re only half eldian

[freya-fallen]

Beastly 4/17

Part 1 Part 3 Part 5

CWs: manipulative Zeke Yeager Word count: 1884

Later, Zeke leaves for maybe half an hour only to return with clothes that are much closer to your size. “I got them from Annie’s room. We’ll clean them and put them back before she comes home.”

You nod and slip into the trousers and button-up. They’re comfortable enough, and he picked an outfit that fits you decently frame-wise. 

Before you leave, he kneels and slips a red armband around your bicep, and you note that it matches his. “This identifies you as an honorary Marleyan. Most Eldians wear a white band. The Warrior candidates wear yellow. The Warriors and our families wear red. You cannot— and you need to remember this, sweetheart— you absolutely cannot be caught without this armband. If you are, I don’t know if I will be able to protect you. Do you understand?”

You nod.

“Promise me you’ll never leave here without it.” His eyes bore into yours through the lenses of his glasses.

“I promise, Zeke.” 

He leans forward and kisses your forehead. “We’ll stick to some of the safer shopping areas today.” 

You walk around with an arm slipped through his. Zeke is ever the gentleman, explaining to you all these new wonders. There are automobiles outside the internment zone, and the first one makes your jaw drop. You’ve never seen anything like it, and to think it runs on fuel from dead animals! It’s a wild thought.

Section commander Hange would flip.

You push the thought away lest it bring you down. You can deal with sadness later.

The places you stop are all nice, clean, exotic to you. There are materials you don’t know, and strange cuts. Zeke takes it all in stride, talking to the shop keepers to get you sized and pick out what’s appropriate. 

“Kids grow like damned weeds,” an older man grumbles when your brother tells him you’ve outgrown most of your wardrobe. “Hopefully this one is about done. My son kept sprouting until he was nearly twenty, but my daughter stopped younger. Around your age,” he says, then frowns. “Ah, around thirteen, I think.”

“Oh, I’m not that young,” you murmur shyly.

“But I’m hoping she’ll fill out a little while I’m taking care of her,” Zeke adds. “Poor girl is so thin.”

An older woman who helps run the shop (maybe they’re a couple) pipes up, “I’ve heard slim builds are all the rage these days, but I think a curvy figure will come back en vogue soon enough.”

The whole conversation is awkward. You’d never thought about gaining or losing weight, since food was mostly outside your control. The idea of eating enough to change your body is foreign, like wearing stilts every day to be as tall as Reiner, or dying your eyes to match Eren’s. But this is apparently a part of life in Marley.

You vaguely remember when you hit puberty, how you noted the differences between your body and Mikasa’s, and the pair of you and the boys. All the girls have little differences (or bigger ones). Ymir is so thin she could blow away in the wind, while Annie is more compact and muscular. And you’ve seen the way Mikasa looks at the other girls’ breasts in the shower when she thinks no one will notice, and the way she sadly glance down at her own chest. 

You pay more attention to women as you pass them, noting how much softer they look, and how they all tend to have plump breasts.

“It’s shapewear,” Zeke confides to you, and you flush at being caught. “You’ll need some for under fancy dresses, but the women at the shops will know more about all that than I do.”

And indeed they do. When it comes to undergarments, the shop women titter and fawn, even those who are less than comfortable as their gazes flick to your arm bands. But they see a young man with his younger sister and their coolness melts. They make him sit and take you aside to get measured and try on brassieres and corsets and— why is there so much to these things? You know a good bra is important for physical activity, but this seems excessive.

Zeke, thankfully, carries most of your purchases, though some of it will be delivered later. It doesn’t seem to weigh him down at all, and he still has a free arm for you.

“Oi, Yeager!”

You both stop and look around. You’re back in the internment zone, and you see just how rundown it is now that you’ve been outside. Many of the shops and street vendors are closing down for the night, but there’s a woman waving you down.

Well, waving down Zeke. 

He smiles and redirects you toward her.

She’s pretty, curvy, with little dimples that appear when she flashes a smile. “I haven’t seen you in ages. Did you just get back?” She stares up at him with sweet eyes as pale as bluebells. 

“I got in the night before last, but I’ve been a bit busy," he responds pointedly as he glances toward you.

Her gaze follows and her eyes narrow a little as she takes in your appearance, notes the red band and all the bags Zeke has. “Oh, and who is this young lady? A new Warrior?”

Your brother chuckles. “No. She’s actually my little sister. I’m taking care of her from now on.”

“Oh!” She presses a hand to her chest and coos. “Oh, that’s so sweet. I didn’t know you had a sister.” She bats playfully at his arm, and you aren’t sure you like that. “I’m Miranda Becker.” 

You respond, “Faye Yeager,” and she gushes over how pretty it is. “You took her out shopping? You’re such a good big brother, Zeke.”

He shrugs and slips his arm from yours to curl around your side. “Just doing the best I can for her. We should get going. It’s been a long day.”

“You’ll come see me soon though?” she asks hopefully.

Zeke hums noncommittally and bids her goodbye, gently turning you along with him.

“Is she your girlfriend?” you ask once you’ve been walking a few minutes.

“No, sweetheart,” he chuckles. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a girl I know.”

“Uh huh,” you respond. 

You stop in front of his door so he can get out his key. When the door swings open, he guides you through, shuts it, and turns you to face him. His large hands circle your hips. “Are you jealous, sweetheart?”

“What?” You blush all the way down your chest, maybe further. Is it possible to blush down to your knees? “I’m not jealous.”

A smirk tugs at Zeke’s lips. “Mm. Sure. Well, you don’t need to worry if you are. You’re the only important girl in my life.” He slips a finger under your chin to plant a chaste kiss against your lips. “Promise.”

You’re not sure how to react to that, but it feels nice, knowing he cares about you.

Maybe you’re just happy to have this new family member to yourself for a while. You’ve spent most of your life apart, and you’re just getting to know one another. It’s only natural you wouldn’t want others getting in the way of that.

Zeke shows you where to put everything, then heads to the small kitchen to start cooking.

It’s the first time you’ve seen him use the area, so you sit at the table and watch in interest.

“I’m the senior Warrior, so I have a few luxuries even the others don’t get,” he says as he pulls out pots and pans. He moves effortlessly through the cupboards. Within minutes he has bread buttered, cheese slices set aside, and a pot filled with tomato soup. He’s apparently making grilled cheese sandwiches which he says have to be eaten with the soup, or it’s just not the same.

When the plate with its two diagonally cut sandwiches are set before you, he tells you to be careful. “It’s hot. I don’t want you to burn your tongue.”

You smile up at him and wait until Zeke is seated before you pick up the sandwich half. It’s buttery and fragrant, the edges crispy from the pan, and the cheesy melty between the slices. And when you take your first bite, you groan.

“That good?” Zeke smirks, then dips one corner of his own grilled cheese into the soup before taking a bite. You mimic him, and the creamy, acidic tomato is a good complement to the savory crispness of the sandwich. You can see why he likes the combination so much.

The pair of you finish not long after, and offer to clean up. Zeke meets you halfway with an offer to wash the dishes if you’ll dry. 

“Bowls go in that cabinet,” he says, nodding toward the one to the left. The plates go there, too. He doesn’t have a lot of dishes, after all, since it’s only him.”Would you like to read?” He lays the drying towel on a little handle across the oven, and guides you toward the sitting area. “I think I have one or two books written in Eldian.” “Eldian? We have different writing than Marley?”

He nods. “Sure do. Here.” He pulls out two books and holds them toward you. One has a title with a clear meaning to you, while the other may as well bed pictograms that have been deconstructed for all the meaning you draw from them.

“Oh.”

He nods and chuckles at your reaction. “I can teach you to read it, if you want. We’ll have plenty of time.”

“I’d like that,” you respond, then settle on his small couch, curled against the opposite arm from him.

You read in companionable silence for a while, until you start yawning and have trouble keeping up with the paragraphs on the page. Zeke slips the book from your grasp, tucking a metal placeholder between the pages to mark your spot. “It’s time for bed, honey.”

“I’m not that tired,” you protest, but he laughs and cups your cheek. 

“I gotta wake you up early for breakfast tomorrow,” he says gently. “Because I need to work.”

You sigh, but follow him to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. At least you have something of your own to sleep in, though Zeke still guides you to his bed. It’s big enough for the both of you, and it’s not as though you’ve never shared a bed, but it’s still awkward.

“Will you get me my own bed eventually?”

He scoots toward you and rubs his bearded chin against your shoulder. “This is the only bedroom, sweetheart. I’d have to move us out of the barracks for that.”

“Oh.” You ponder this for a moment. “Could we live in a house?” You haven’t done that since before the titans took down Wall Maria. 

Zeke wraps an arm around your waist and snuggles in close. He’s not trying anything, so you allow it. It’s a minute or two before he responds, “Maybe. I haven’t lived outside the bricks in ages. I’ll think about it.”

You nod and settle down. It isn’t long before the soft sheets and the warmth of your sleeping brother ease you toward your own slumber.

[ohdobertell]

I hope SnK ends with all the history/lore being cleared up. Isayama is kinda in dangerous territory with implying that only a certain race with certain blood can do X, Y, Z (because blood and race don’t work like that bruh the eldians are straight up a different species if that’s all true). Even if he does something like...idk...having some non-eldians turn into titans and some eldians being unable to turn into titans..... that’ll be good. I know The curse of Ymir is supposed to be a supernatural phenomena or whatever and so perhaps the curse overrides our understanding of genetics and blood....but....idk....it’s such a dangerous subject to play with and while I think he’s handled himself so far....I’d just be so much more comfortable if turns out the blood thing was a myth made up by Marley or something lmao. I guess maybe Isayama wants to ask us what do we think of different subspecies of humans existing, the same way different subspecies of cats and dogs exist (!!) which I guess is a question we should ask ourselves but at the same time!!! Maybe not!!!

[jujubean90]

Magic Hands- Part 1

Word Count: 5410

A Y/N x Reiner Braun Story!

Music Theme: Celestial Bodies- Ghost Data, Jovani Occomy

Warnings: NSFW /risky details Minors DNI, Mentions of mental trauma, depression. I am not a licensed massage therapist/ aromatherapist. (We did serious research but always consult a professional if interested in the oil blends mentioned or massage techniques detailed.) Maybe some fluff? Cussing always. Possible AoT Season 4 Spoilers. This is my first attempt at gender neutral writing/ 2nd person.

Synopsis: Porco Galliard suggests lonely, touch starved Vice- Chief Reiner Braun should see the new massage therapist Marley provided for the Warrior Unit, you! You are always so disciplined and professional with your clientele, but you've never worked on such a beautiful man in all of your life. ( Initial build up. Part 2 will be the good-good)

Part 2 is here!

“You know what you need, Reiner? A massage to loosen the hell up,” Porco suggested flatly after a meeting one day. “I’m exhausted just looking at you. Seriously.” Reiner was silent as Porco shook his head and huffed in frustration. “And don’t get it twisted. I don’t care about you really, but since we’ve come back from the war, all of you’ve done is mope around. Imagine what that does to your posture. Hell, you need to see a chiropractor for that. The circles under your eyes are terrible, too.”

“For someone who doesn’t care, you sure spend a lot of time looking at me,” Reiner pointed out with a raised brow.

Porco’s lip curled into a half snarl, and he crossed his arms. “I’m just pointing out that you look like shit, and you should do something about it before you embarrass us, Vice Chief. So, do yourself a favor and go take advantage of some of the self-care services they put in place for us and get yourself looking presentable.”

“Every week since we’ve been back, I’ve gone to our massage therapist. They’ve got magic hands; I’m telling you and they’re cute too. But I keep it professional because I don’t want to chase them off. Trust me, if I wasn’t a client, y/n would be on my arm. We’d make the cutest couple.”

“And you’re telling me this why?” Reiner asked, clearly unamused.

“Because I’m trying to make sure y/n stays employed, duh,” Porco snapped. “Marley won’t keep these perks if we don’t use them. It’s a high-paying job for an Eldian in the massage industry since we’re the only ones they can legally touch.”

“Wait… then they don’t have a lot of clients. Most of HQ is filled with Marleyan higher ups,” Reiner reasoned.

“Exactly, so go do your part and make sure they can stay employed here. They won’t get another job like this. Ever. Eldian massage parlors don’t pay shit and y/n deserves this. I deserve this. You…well, not so much, but because I deserve this and they deserve this, you need to do your part.”

“I’ve never had a massage…a professional one, I mean,” Reiner confessed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“No shit, so go see them,” Porco huffed impatiently. “It’s a great experience. I mean, I can tolerate being in the same room as you a little more than usual because they have me on this different level of relaxation. Something about moving energies and chakras and I don’t fucking know, but goddamn, I’d shove a crystal up my ass if they said it would help.”

Reiner averted his eyes for a moment. “You…are joking, right?”

“Dunno, maybe one of those hot rocks,” Porco mused. “After it cooled. Those crystals they have are kinda pointy.”

“Galliard, please,” Reiner blushed. “You want to talk about me being an embarrassment? Get control of your mouth.”

“I’m just that relaxed,” Porco shrugged. “So relaxed, my filter is gone. So, get going before I say something else weird. Third floor, to the right, down the hall, last door on the right too.”

Reiner shook his head and sighed as he made his way to the stairs. “I’ve got nothing else to do today, so I might as well.”

“What a surprise,” you say to yourself as you look at the clock on the wall. “The day is almost done and not a single person came by. I should check my schedule. I think Porco should be by soon.” You pull out your crisp, new scheduling pad and crinkle your nose. It wasn’t new. You bought it a week prior to starting here. You had this expectation that you would be busier than this. A month has passed since you were hired and the only clients you had were Porco and occasionally Pieck. A young man named Colt Grice came by to investigate your service, but he was too shy to try. And then there was that Zeke fellow who gave you the creeps. His energy was horrible, and you disliked his vibe. He was the only one you hadn’t approached to talk about your services. Well, that and the Vice-Chief.

You’d seen him in passing. He was closed off and had this haunted look on his handsome face. You met his gaze once, but he was quick to leave. He had these hallow eyes with dark circles, but his energy wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good either, but it wasn’t off putting like the War Chief.

“Porco is tomorrow afternoon,” you said aloud. “Then…Pieck towards the end of the week.” You snapped your leather book shut and sighed. “At least I’m still getting paid. Now, what am I going to do for another two hours? I guess I can meditate or figure out something new for Porco. He is a curious minded person, and it’s nice that he listens to me explain the healing arts. I’m sure he doesn’t understand any of it, but he tries.”

You thought you heard the door open to the parlor, but you dismiss it quickly because no one ever came by this late. “Maybe I’ll work on a yoga pose during meditation,” you say as you go for your mat in the corner of your small office. As you reach out to grab it, a tiny ding sounds off in the parlor. You gasp enthusiastically. “A guest!”

You are giddy with excitement as you turn to the mirror to make sure you look presentable. After a quick drink of water, you clear your throat, straighten your posture, and walk out to greet your visitor with a calm voice.

“Good afternoon and welcome. How may I-.” You pause as you meet Reiner Braun’s gaze. He shyly looked away while his hand rested on the counter near one of your service flyers, detailing everything you offer. “Oh, Vice Chief Braun, this is a surprise.”

“Erm, yeah, thanks,” he mutters as he blushes. Reiner saw you a few times before, but he did not know you were the massage therapist Porco Galliard was going on about. You’d pass by and his eyes would gravitate to you, only to avert elsewhere before you caught him staring; except for one time and one time only. The look on your face made him instantly regret it. You were just trying to get a good reading on his energy, but your quizzical, concentrated look was so prominent on your expressive face that he assumed he did something wrong. That’s why you hadn’t run into him much after. He avoided you on purpose.

His energy today was something else. He was heavy with so much negative shit. One session was not about to take care of him. No, this required a lot of focused, draining work, but it would be worth it to ease this broken soul.

You took a deep breath when you realized you’d be the one starting the conversation. Reiner was clearly out of place and did not know where to begin. “Right,” you say as you bring your hands together in front of you. “I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Y/N, and I’m the privately hired massage therapist for the Warrior Unit. It’s a pleasure to meet you officially, Vice-Chief Braun. Did you just wander in here on your own, or did someone refer me to you?”

“Galliard suggested I come here,” he muttered. “Said I needed a little self-care and claimed you had magic hands.”

You raise your brow and smile softly. “Well, I don’t know about magic, but I’ve been doing this for a few years and no one has anything bad to say about me. You are in excellent hands, that’s for sure. Do you know what sort of service you’d like?”

“I was looking everything over,” Reiner replied. “But…I’ve never even had a basic massage, so I don’t have a preference.”

“Hum, well, I have two in mind for you since it’s your first time. The basic massage is gentle and perfect for first timers and promotes fantastic relaxation. If you are sensitive to touch and have a lot of tension, this will be perfect for you. It’s about 90 minutes. Now, we can do the same type with the addition of essential oils. We call this an Aromatherapy Massage and it helps to boost your mood, reduce stress and anxiety, reduce symptoms of depression on top of relieving muscle tension and pain.”

“What do you suggest I choose?” Reiner asked.

“Aromatherapy 100 percent,” you respond. “You…have a lot going on. I can see it in your eyes and just how you carry yourself.”

Reiner sighed and placed his hand on his forehead. “Porco was right. I guess I really look like shit.”

You blink a few times as you register what he said. “Wait, Mr. Galliard said that to you? He’s always such a perfect gentleman when he’s here. Well, sorta. “

Reiner chuckled softly and shook his head. “Not the Porco I know. But I guess he is only rough around the edges with me. Though, I deserve it.”

“Vice-Chief Braun, I respectfully disagree. I don’t know what your past was like, nor do I know about what happened between you and Mr. Galliard, but I assure you, no one deserves to remain in a constant state of misery. The War is over, but the actual battle is in the mind for so many. I wanted to be a psychologist, you know…but they don’t let Eldians get a higher education, so I settled for a massage therapist because it’s as close as I can get.” You look away for a moment and clasp your hands to your mouth. There you go over sharing again.

“I’m sorry Reiner, I didn’t mean to get super personal. I’ve just noticed for some time that you have a lot on you and I’m glad you came here because I hope I can help. It won’t be a miracle…but even 1% better is an improvement.”

Reiner stared at you in awe. It was hard to find optimism and passion these days. Eldians held their gaze to the ground. The Warrior Unit may soon be obsolete and the Eldian's future looked dim, but you didn’t know this. You were just living your life, trying to pave your way in a society that didn’t want you. You’d overcome so much in your young life and paid your own way through school. You graduated top of your class in the healing arts, and you were doing the best you could to help others. In terms of job status for an Eldian massage therapist, you made it big.

“So, Vice-Chief, are you ready?” you asked.

“Please, call me Reiner,” he replied softly. “And I think so.”

“Alright, I’m going to set everything up and pick out your oils. Go to the changing room. There are hangers for your overcoat, and you can set the rest of your clothes in the basket. You can keep your underwear on if you feel more comfortable and there are robes of various sizes hanging up. If you removed everything, there are towels for you to wrap around your waist. I cannot stress enough…please use them.”

Reiner suddenly flushed a brilliant red, and his breath hitched in his chest. “I have to…remove my clothes? Like ALL of them, y/n?”

You tilt your head to the side and calmly smile. This was a normal question from most first timers, but his flustered appearance was too adorable. “I didn’t mean to surprise you. Typically, when you get a massage, you are naked, yes.”

“And…Galliard does this?”

“Everyone who gets a table massage does this, unless you get a chair massage…we can do that, but the table will be more beneficial. It’s way more therapeutic, but if you don’t feel comfortable, I completely understand. I’m here to make you relaxed. It’s all about you, Reiner.”

Reiner inhaled slowly and closed his eyes. “Right, no, we will do the table massage. I don’t know why I was so surprised.” But he knew. He thought you were very attractive, and that was why he would steal glances your way when you passed by or when he caught you leaving for the day. You had this gentle, charming smile and life in your eyes that he felt drawn to. He heard you laughing occasionally, and it was the sweetest sound.

Despite his interest, he didn’t find out more about you. He felt undeserving of any sort of happiness and he tossed the thought of you out of his mind. His subtle buildup of courage dismantled, and he reverted to his elusive nature. But fate had a strange way of making people meet.

“Go ahead to the changing room. I’ll prepare everything,” you encouraged. Reiner swallowed and nodded as he hesitantly moved in the direction you pointed him towards. With a sheepish look back, he entered the room and shut the door. You sigh as you realize you really have your work cut out for you.

You open the entry way door and flip your ‘In-Session’ sign over, then locked the door so there were no accidental intrusions. You turn on your small, bubbling fountain to give a little more relaxing ambience while you begin your ritual of lighting various candles. “I will not light incense. Don’t want to overwhelm him with it and the oils,” you say. You position your largest massage table in the center of the room and adjust it based on his estimated height and size. Minor improvements would be made once he was present. You chose your lavender scented linens to fit the table. Lavender relived stress, and it was one less oil you had to use since you had sheets infused with the stuff.

You picked out Jasmine oil for aiding with depression. You sensed he dealt with it constantly. The shadows under his eyes solidified your assumption further. Next was Chamomile for improved mood and relaxation. Last was Rose to improve mood and reduce anxiety. You wouldn’t use all three at once. I would use each one for 30 minutes of the 90-minute treatment. That also depended on if his skin had a reaction to the oils. Most people don’t have reactions because of how pure the oils were, but it’s better to do a spot treatment and see than have a very unhappy customer. You had lotion warming for a backup and you had the diffuser ready. You wanted him to choose which one went in.

After preparations were complete, you dimmed the lights. The door to the changing room opened, and you turned expectantly with your hands crossed over your lap. Reiner looked around the room and marveled at how serene the place became. Immediate calm rushed over him, and he forgot how nervous he was to be nude in your presence. He gripped the rolled section of his towel as he stood there waiting for instructions.

“This way, Reiner,” you say, gently motioning to the table. “Face up first. So, on your back, if you will. Oh, and here.” You grab a folded fresh cotton sheet and presented it to him. He tilted his head to the side as he gave you another adorable, quizzical expression. You knew what he was thinking. “No, the towel won’t be enough. You’ll be removing it.” It was comical how red his face went. Even the tops of his ears bloomed with a pinkish hue.

“As you relax, you may become chilled, which can distract you from the experience. Those towels are nice and plush, but they won’t cover you well and it can consequently become too hot or scratchy, depending on how sensitive your skin gets when you become comfortable.”

Reiner felt his chest tighten. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get on that damn table without letting his towel fall away. He did not know how he was going to switch from the towel to the sheet without her seeing him and all his glory. You picked up on his shyness and you couldn’t help but smile. He was a complete 180 from Porco Galliard.

He was the reason you emphasized for Reiner to use the towel. His first visit was a whirlwind. He walked out of the changing room completely nude, strutting over the table without a care in the goddamn world. Not once did he insinuate or turn the conversation lewd, but you saw in his eyes that he wanted to. ‘Look at me and what I’m packing.’ That’s what his expression and swaggered stride stated. But you were disciplined. You kept your interaction professional, and he respected it somehow. You always remained professional, even when working on someone fit and toned to the degree of Mr. Galliard.

Not once did you lower your standards and succumb to the stigma associated with massage practitioners. You had your fair share of advances from men and women alike, but no one was worth the knock against your pride. And you were no stranger to seeing people bare- ass naked. You knew how to evade temptation. You avoided staring too long, and you kept your self-restraint in mind. And the people you worked on respected your boundaries. After all, they were broken spiritually. No one respected their boundaries. No one respected them, but the bonds between Eldians were strong because of that reason.

You studied Reiner’s frantic looking face, and you gently offered a solution. “I’ll turn around. You get on the table and drape the sheet over yourself. Let me know what you are ready. Does that sound better?”

Reiner thought for a moment and nodded slowly. You turned around as you said you would, and you waited with the patience of a saint.

“This will hold me?” Reiner questioned as he eyed the table wearily. He had this mental image of himself laid on this damn table while you were working and suddenly, the whole fucking thing just fell; He was spread eagle on the ground. The sheet was missing, and you were standing over his exposed self. He could have screamed from the embarrassment and shame.

“The legs are steel, Reiner,” you reassure. “The government provided it for your benefit."and

“That…worries me more,” Reiner muttered. His thought process was this: something had to be wrong with it for Marley to give it over to them. Even if they were ‘Honorary Marleyans,’ they were still Eldians. The Warriors didn’t get updated with anything. It was all handed down and outdated bull shit. He sighed and took the chance. If he left now, he would feel terrible because you went through all this trouble to set up for him. He didn’t want to be a waste of your time, but he was so apprehensive and shy.

Reiner stole one more glance to make sure you turned around, and he dropped the towel. Your eyes gravitated to your mirror across the room. It wasn’t super noticeable and large, but his image was parallel to it and for the first time, your breath hitched in your chest. Your mind screamed to avert your gaze, but it drew you to the image of his backside. Never in your life had you seen something so perfect. There was no reason the gods had to bless him with that dump truck of an ass. Your lips parted in awe. Not even Porco, with all his beauty, came close. And then there were his thighs… of course they would be like creamy divine steel beams. They had to be to support an ass and torso forged from the heavens. He went to turn around and you tore your eyes away from the mirror so fast because seeing his front might have been overkill to your senses. Your cheeks were flushed, and you were so glad he couldn’t see you. It was completely unprofessional, and you instantly felt disappointed in yourself.

You heard him situate himself on the table and unfurl the sheet. “What is that smell?” he asked. “It’s mild and pleasant. Not overly floral. I really feel it settle in my lungs and it’s comforting.”

“Lavender,” you say as you briefly center yourself in a brief meditative session. You had to just to push the image of the Vice Chief’s perfect hind quarters out of your mind. “I have a few choices for you, but the sheets are infused with Lavender. Its purpose is to promote relaxation. They also said it treats the symptoms of anxiety and depression.”

“It’s heavy, but in a good way,” Reiner remarked. “So, did I end up the way I’m supposed to?”

You took that as your que that he was okay with you turning around. So, you inhaled slowly and did so with new focus. He was still so tense, but you understood he was just nervous. This was a fresh experience for him. You’ve dealt with it all before. He would relax quickly once you started on his head and neck. That was the key to first timers. Always start with the head and neck for maximum, instant whole-body relaxation.

“I promise we will get started soon. Just a few more things. I’ve chosen three oils. I’ll change between the three of them, but I want you to see which one of these you’d like for me to place in the diffuser. And I need to get you a pillow. Here.” You grab one of your pillows and hand it to him. He goes to set it behind his head. “Oh, wait, no.” you say. “It’s for you to place under your thighs, down closer to your knees. It’s helping take stress off your lower back.”

“Oh…I’m sorry about that,” he mutters.

“Happens all the time,” you reassure him as you turn to pick up the tray of oils you’ve picked out for his specific needs. You hear the shuffling of the sheets as he positions the pillow and then he’s quiet again. “Alright. I’ve picked out Jasmine, Chamomile and Rose because I feel they will help you the most. All of them treat some aspect of mental health and mood. Only pick out what resonates and smells pleasant to you, okay? We don’t have to use all of them, but if you enjoy them, we can. The options are there.”

You bring over the Rose oil first and uncap the sample vial. “Fresh and floral, not as much bite as the lavender.”

“Ah, it’s subtle and not overbearing at all. I forget there are pleasant scents like that in the world,” Reiner replied, as he inhaled the scent from the cap of the vial.

“We don’t get fresh flowers in Liberio,” you reply. “It’s such a shame, but there’s a lot of things we don’t get that we actually need. Flowers would just be nice.”

“Do you like them?” Reiner hesitantly asked.

“I prefer to admire them,” you reply. “I’ve never liked the idea of receiving them cut and arranged. Growing them though…like, having a small garden that I can meditate in and just be surrounded by nature would be a dream. But, you like this one?”

“I do. I’m interested in experiencing the others.”

You bring the next oil. “Chamomile is next. Sweet and heady with a strange undertone of apples.”

Reiner raised his brow as he took in the smell. “I think…yeah, faintly I smell apples too. It’s such a clean aroma. Chamomile is used to make tea, right?”

“Yeah, so is the next one,” you reply as you close the vial and pick out the last one. “Jasmine. Best described as sensual, rich, and purifying. Rose and Jasmine are interesting in that Jasmine brings you out of yourself while Rose brings your focus back to the self. Using them together for you would be ideal for the sake of mental balance. So, if you like all three, I’d prefer to start with Chamomile, Rose, and finish with Jasmine. Did you want me to place on in the diffuser?”

“I think I’m fine without it…unless you prefer to use it,” he added quickly. “I’m not the expert here.”

“I don’t want to overwhelm your sense of smell,” you reply. “We’ll skip on the diffuser this time. I’ll dilute these oils and do a patch test to make sure you don’t have some sort of skin reaction or allergy.”

“Wait…you don’t have to go through that sort of trouble. I won’t have a reaction and if I did…it would heal. I’m a Titan, remember?”

You huff and think about all that wasted time on Porco Galliard when he requested an aromatherapy session. “Darn him…”

“What, did Porco not explain that to you?” Reiner asked in surprise.

“No, he didn’t. I think he just wanted me to go through the motions to make the session longer.”

“Sounds about right,” Reiner chuckled. “Don’t let him fool you and if you aren’t sure he’s telling the truth…you can ask me directly. I’ll clarify.”

“I’ll remember that from now on,” you say as you continue your task of diluting the oils. This probably wasn’t necessary either, but this was a normal practice procedure. Once finished, you set the oil on a warmer and you excuse yourself to wash your hands in final preparation. You could tell he was calmer now thanks to the Lavender infused sheets. You also feel his gaze on you, but you can’t make out the energy behind it clearly. Porco always looked at you with some sort of desire. Reiner was more serene despite the turbulence in his eyes. You wondered if his golden irises had always been so dull and heavy. It would be wonderful to bring some life back into them.

After crossing the room and gathering your dish of chamomile oil, you set it on a small side table near your work area. “Ready?” He nods and closes his eyes. His face tense again as he forced them to remain closed. You gently fold the edge of the sheet down, exposing the top of his pectoral muscles. “We’re opening the chest and lengthening the neck first.” You dip your hand and cup it to collect a small amount of oil and then you sprinkle it across him, just below his neck. “Not too hot or too cold?”

“S’fine,” he muttered.

“I’m going to begin now,” you warn, watching him for any negative reaction. Sometimes people got to this point and have fled because their nerves get the best of them. You found it best to explain as you worked, because communication led to a better experience.

You took your position behind Reiner’s head, and you placed your hands on either side of his neck, just on the center of his upper chest. You immediately avert your gaze to stop yourself from staring too long at his powerful, full, pectoral muscles. You close your eyes to center yourself as you perform a series of spreading strokes all the way out and around his shoulders, up his neck to the base of his skull. Your thumbs move beneath his ear, carefully avoiding actually touching them. You apply pressure with all your fingertips, except your thumbs, increasing it as you near the end of your repetition at the back of his head.

Reiner’s lips parted immediately, and his skin prickled as your firm touch stretched and pulled his muscles for several repetitions. What really got him was your touch gliding up his neck and the back of his head. That sensation sent a shiver down his entire body. His face muscles relaxed, and all tension melted away immediately when you cup the back of his head and began alternating hand pulling strokes up the length of his strong, thick neck.

You knew he relaxed further when the full weight of his head lay in your hands. That’s when you opened your eyes to see him naturally relaxed, still with a parted mouth. It was as if you instantly pulled years away from him with your technique. You watch his eyelids flutter as you glide back down, only to spread over his chest and maneuver your way back behind his head. The pads of your fingers drag up to the posterior base of the skull and then you gently rock and apply pressure in this area and to points beneath his ears.

Back to his chest, you go where you pause your previous ministrations to begin something new. You are positioned where you started, except your hands are turned inwards. Your fingertips almost touch in this position as you began kneading his pectorals. What a sight they were, giving way beneath your pressure, only to reform into absolute perfection. He was built so differently from Porco and from other men you’ve provided therapy for.

With more pressure you spread out again and lessen the touch as you round his shoulders. One hand goes up his neck while the other glides down to his upper shoulder. You pull back towards his neck then go back down, only to knead the overly tense tissue between.

He is putty in your hands at this point. You knew his favorite part was the rocking and compression you applied to his head. You moved him to face the right and your fingers dug in, sending waves through him to the point a soft moan escaped his lips.

Of course, this was natural. The body relaxed and people became a little vocal. But the way he sounded…made you inhale sharply. Luckily, you were quiet about it. He looked so sweet when he was relaxed.

You went to work on his handsome face next. Your hands swept from his stubbled chin, up his defined jaw, all the way to the top of his head. You linger there, apply light pressure with your thumbs, then you perform spreading strokes to help ease troublesome lines between his eyebrows. He had a natural scowl, and this would help promote a more youthful appearance. You compress acupressure points along his defined face thirty seconds apiece.

“You know, I have an oil blend for your dark circles,” you calmly say. “Sorry, I don’t normally talk during these, but…I wanted to offer. It’s a blend of sandalwood, helichrysum, and rosehip oil. I have it in this little roller.”

“Tell me…more,” he requested in his overly calmed state. Talking was hard because of the amount of relaxation he was experiencing. His voice dropped an entire octave and damn, it was the most beautiful sound.

In your most soothing, steady voice, you reply. “Sandalwood is a moisturizer and skin lightening agent. Rosehip oil will keep the skin hydrated and elastic. The helichrysum reduces inflammation and promotes healing. Would you like for me to apply it around your eyes after?”

“Sure hun, do whatever you need to me. I’m your canvas this afternoon.”

That made you blush. But again, you swallowed and continued your motions in your professional way. A few coin rubes around his temples and downward strokes to relax the jaw and you were on your way back down his neck and shoulders. With one hand still in contact with him, you dip the other in the oil and move to his right side. You drizzle it up his arm, starting with his hand, to his forearm, all the way up his shoulder.

Your right hand grasped his wrist to keep downward tension in his arm. You glide your hand softly from the shoulder down and back up to lubricate your next place of work. His muscles were defined, but the oil brought out so much more detail. You couldn’t wait to see how they’d move with your strokes and compressions. He was right. He was your canvas and eventually he would be your magnum opus. You were a restorative artist in the literal sense. Time, dirt, and grime wore down this piece of flawlessness art, and you would be the one to strip away all of that. You would bring those golden eyes back to life so their brightness could rival the sun.

[sunlightandsuffering]

PART 2

Idk why this got so soft 😭😭😭

Eren is practically vibrating in his spot as she approaches him, a little different from the girl he’d known before, more outgoing, forceful than she typically is as she approaches him with no fear. “Hi, I’m Mikasa, do you have any time to talk about the state of the world’s affairs?” Eren gulps, his mouth like sandpaper, so dry he can barely speak, “Umm no.” Of course he wants to talk to her forever and ever for the rest of her life, but he knows exactly where this is going. “Sir, are you sure? Are you happy with the current government? Do you really think this is fair, the persecution our saviour went through for our sake, and he instead of worship, he is revered as a terrorist and murderer? Do you think the world would be the way it is today without him?”

Eren wants to cry real tears, he wants to break down on the ground into little sobs, how is he supposed to deal with this??

But interestingly enough, Mikasa’s proposal is different than how most Yeagerists usually approach him, a switch from the normal lines they spew at him about conspiracies and Eldian pride. She comes at it from a different angle, a painfully true angle, because although he disagrees with some of what she has to say, he is a horrible person and he did murder far too many people in pursuit of his ideals, she is right in that he had done it so they could be where they are today. Misguided and foolish as it was, he did have a purpose and it had been fulfilled.

He doesn’t speak for a moment, and she jumps at the opportunity, taking his silence as a cue to continue, beautiful grey eyes gleeful as she talks about the original leader of their cult, Eren Yeager, himself.

Eren sighs deeply, he can already feel a migraine coming on. “If you would just give me some time I’d love to tell you about him,” her eyes are a little bit starry, “Eren our first leader, he is flawed, deeply flawed, but I believe there was some good in him, I believe his intentions were good in the end, and that is why I joined the Yeagerists.”

Dear lord, he really fucking hates himself, what did he do to deserve this fresh hell he wonders as Mikasa takes his arm, dragging him down the street and towards her home.

Oh right, he tried to murder half the population.

Great.

Now a reincarnated Mikasa with no memory of him is going to preach to him about himself.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Inside Mikasa’s quaint little house not only does she give him an in-depth lecture on Yeagerists and their whole doctrine, she also shows him how she gets by, her livelihood. And do you know what it is? It’s little wooden statues of himself. Isn’t that great? Eren once again wants to cry. “Do you like them, I know they’re crude and they could never measure up to his greatness, but I’ve heard he was very beautiful, like yourself,” she blushes a little before continuing, “I’m only sad we don’t have many statues or paintings to remember his likeness.” Eren wonders if it’s acceptable for him to bang his head against the table. He’s barely said two words to her since she’s dragged him here, just dealt with the situation like an awful dream.

She’s so much like herself in so many ways, and yet here she is, Mikasa Ackerman, a Yeagerist. It’s absurd.

She cradles her beloved wooden Eren statue close to her chest, about to launch into another tirade on their little cult when Eren stops her finally.

“Mikasa, right?” She nods dumbly, the first time she’s really heard him speak. “Look, sorry I’m not really interested in being a Yeagerist thanks, Eren Yeager was a selfish asshole, with more flaws than you can count and a bit obsessive in his ideals, and stubborn definitely to a fault, I don’t think he’s anyone to worship.” Mikasa’s beautiful mouth parts, eyes wide at his blatant insult and she drops her beloved Eren statue in shock.

Good, she needs to hear the truth.

“I’m actually a bit of a historian, I know quite a bit about the Yeagerists and their religion, I actually specialize in the beginning of it all particularly,” he lies blatantly, but he needs to tell her, she’s missing the key ingredient here, the most important component of his personality. “And I can’t help but be shocked that you haven’t spoken a word of Mikasa.”

His beautiful girl tilts her head to the side in confusion, “Mikasa, you mean me?” Eren shakes his head good-naturedly, “No the girl Eren was in love with.” Mikasa’s eyes get comically larger and Eren wants to laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation is, he’s telling the love of his life, about herself, and she’ll probably never know.

“You lie, I’ve never heard of such a girl, of course I know of Armin, and his fierce protector, the Hizuru warrior they do not name, but never have I heard of his lover.”

Eren laughs, picking up her fallen Eren statue and gesturing for her to sit down, now it’s his turn to tell her about Eren Yeager, and the most important thing to him, Mikasa Ackerman.

“She wasn’t really his lover, Eren was dumb, so dumb,” he winks at her, “his love was unrequited, he never confessed like an idiot.” Mikasa gasps adorably, hands coming up to her mouth in shock, “Really?”

“Yeah, she didn’t figure it out till the very end,” he leans his head on his hand as he gets into the story, “But she loved him too.”

“Oh wow, really? They were in love?” He nods, “Yeah, but like I said, he was an idiot. And she wasn’t a man like you seem to think, Mikasa Ackerman was one of the best soldiers in the scout regiment, I’d say second only to Captain Levi himself, and she wasn’t his bodyguard or some crap like that. She was just a concerned friend at first, she knew him just as long as Armin did.”

Mikasa is now hurriedly writing notes in a little journal she’s whipped out and Eren wants to laugh, the rest of the Yeagerists will never believe her now, but he’s glad she does, that she takes his words to heart.

If nothing else, she needs to hear the truth. “She always protected him, just because she wanted to, since they were kids she had to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. I’d actually say the only reason Eren made it to the scouts at all was because of Mikasa.”

“She must have been very beautiful, to have caught the eye of Eren,” she tells him softly and Erne can’t resist giving her cheek a little chuck, so soft and blemish free. “She was, just as beautiful as you I’d say, exquisite, but that’s not why Eren was in love with her.”

“Then why?” “Just because,” Eren shrugs, “she was Mikasa, she was strong and kind and stubborn, a bit of a hardass sometimes and he loved her for her.”

“True love,” Mikasa repeats to him wistfully and he can’t help his smile, “Yeah I’d like to think so.”

“Wow, I didn’t know that.” “You wouldn’t,” he tells her softly, “he worked very hard to keep it that way, and I’m sure his friends after did too. He wanted her to be happy in the end.”

“Was she?” “I hope so, I’m not sure, but I’m hoping maybe in this lifetime I can make sure of it.”

Mikasa hums looking down at her journal, “I’m not sure how you would do that…” she trails off for a moment, “Sorry what was your name again?”

He grins, “Eren, you can just call me Eren.”

Her eyes get a little larger as she looks up from her book curiously, intelligent mind trying to figure out if he’s lying or this is truly such a coincidence.

She looks at him suspiciously, “What a strange coincidence I just so happen to be named after my leader’s long-lost lover and you after my great leader.”

His grin widens as he leans back into his chair, “Very strange indeed, but you’re smart Mikasa, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he says, standing to leave.

“I should be heading out now though, it’s not proper for a stranger to be here so late.

She continues to eye him suspiciously, “But it’s quite late, I don’t want you to get robbed going home or something, you could stay.”

He laughs, “In the home of a Yeagerist, I think not Mikasa.”

She frowns, “At least take an Eren statue as good luck, here you can have mine.” She hands him her beloved wooden doll, the one she’s been clutching all night, the one that looks a little like him. It’s obviously one of her first works and he can’t help his smile, it’s old and battered and evidently something she cares greatly for.

“I could never take something so precious,” he tells her carefully and instead of agreeing and taking it back like he expects from the timid little Yeagerist, she responds quickly and without hesitation. “Then bring it back tomorrow, and I’ll—” she looks around the room for a moment, “I’ll take your scarf as collateral.”

“Of course, that’s very kind of you.” He expects to leave without further incident, already planning his next visit tomorrow morning and as many after that as she allows.

He heads to the door, looking back one last time at the love of his life standing in the doorway, twisting his scarf in her hands.

“Eren wait,” she calls softly and he stops just outside as she walks a little closer, standing just within reach.

“Can you,” she looks down nervously, “Can you wrap it up for me, I’m a little cold.” “Of course, Mikasa, I’ll wrap your scarf for you as many times as you want.”

And he does, never reclaiming the article of cloth and he wraps it around her delicate neck every day thereafter.

[smellsfaintlyofvanilla]

Imma be cheeky and write in twice! so home girl aka me has phat as crushes on half the Aot women. *SPOILER* A scene where reader takes the bullet for Sasha but lives instead of dies? xx

Honestly, I'm still reeling from Sasha's death, I need this :')

Promise

(Sasha Braus x Reader)

AU: Canon, divergent

Warnings: Injury, blood, season 4 spoilers

Category: Mostly fluff, a little angst

Summary: Arriving on the airship, Sasha and her S/O celebrate surviving the attack. While they're distracted, a little miscalculation comes aboard.

Words: 2.6K

A harsh breeze assaulted your face, recklessly blowing locks of hair in random directions as you zipped through the air with your ODM gear.

You gazed on at the destruction below. The city of Libero, Marley, had gone up in flames so unceremoniously mere hours ago. Bodies—civilian and military—were scattered on the streets like tiny shards of glass. The sight was horrid to you, and many others, of course. The destruction reminded you of the attack on Shinganshina all those years ago, and what you had seen that day. It was a wicked cycle, and one that was repeating, much to your sorrow.

It was a deliberate attack by Eren Jaeger, your soldier comrade in the Scouts. Once just a hotheaded idiot dead-set on freeing humanity, now an intimidating, powerful man, determined to put an end to Marley and win everyone's "freedom" back. That is, only, if you count genocide as a means to gain freedom.

It was ludicrous. You could never imagine trampling others' freedom in pursuit of your own. It was inhumane, cruel, but...

That's not what you should be thinking about right now.

Your feet hit the underside of the airship, and you slowly scaled your way towards the open door. A hand was outstretched towards you, and attached to the hand was the sun. Or rather, Sasha Braus.

You took her hand graciously, pulling yourself up with a grunt, steadying yourself in the ship before immediately pulling her into an embrace. She returned the gesture, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and burying herself in your neck.

The moment was only brief, however, since the gazes of other soldiers were ever present, so you pulled away somewhat self-consciously.

"I'm so glad you're alright, Y/n." She sighed, taking your hand and squeezing it, a much more subtle gesture of affection. "God, I was so worried. I heard your squad was in a tough spot, and I tried my hardest to go look for you, but Jean he— he wouldn't let go, and—!"

"Sasha, Sasha, relax. It's alright." You smile, setting a hand on her shoulder, and it wasn't until know that you realized she was shaking. "I get you were worried, but I'm here now. I'm okay, we survived, that's all that matters."

You leaned forward, giving her a quick peck on the cheek that made her cheeks tint adorably pink. "Yeah, guess you're right..."

Suddenly, distant yelling across the ship caught your attention. Connie and Jean, both alive and well on the other side of the ship, were waving to you two, calling you over.

You turned back to smile at her, squeezing her hand in affirmation as the two of you made your way over.

"There you two are." Connie smiled, "I admit, I was a little worried this time. Things got pretty bloody out there."

Suddenly, he threw his arms around you, Sasha, and Jean, pulling you into an impromptu group hug. "I know this isn't fair to the others, but... I'm glad you're all okay. You guys are important to me."

Sasha smiled, putting her hand comfortably onto Connie's arm, holding onto him, whilst Jean groaned uncomfortably, shifting around awkwardly.

"Your gear is too damn clunky." He mumbled, worming his way out of the hug. Connie released his hold on you and Sasha shortly after, giving you a genuine, warm smile before de-equipping the gear from his sides.

You leaned against the wall with a groan, massaging at your temples in an attempt to relieve the tension in your head.

"You okay?" Sasha questioned, joining you on the wall as her body turned to you with concern.

"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine." You sigh, releasing your hand from your forehead. "It's just... I don't know... I'm just not used to seeing all this destruction. Until now, we've been fighting titans—not humans. I don't like all this death and destruction. It's so... unnecessary. I hate it." You state flatly, freely dumping all your worries to the auburn-haired girl. Despite what one might think at first, she was amazing at comforting people, and was always there when something was keeping you awake at night, or nagging at you during a day off.

"Babe, I get what you're feeling." She soothes, grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling you in, gently setting her hand on the back of your head to guide it to your shoulder. You silently complied. "This all is awful. That's no lie. It shouldn't have happened. But it isn't your fault, either." She said, running her fingers through your hair. "The responsibility is all on Eren. He started this, not you. Don't ever feel guilty about this."

You didn't respond verbally, instead tilting your head into her neck, allowing her to comfort you for a little while longer, indulging in the rare moment of vulnerability.

The moment was, once again, short lived, as a loud shout startled you out of your spot in the crook of Sasha's neck.

"It's our time to celebrate! The first battle of the new Eldian empire has ended in victory! We won!" It was the voice of Floch, a soldier you had soon grown to hate over your years of knowing him. Not only for his comments towards Armin, but also his support of the attack. He seemed not to care about the lives of Marleyans, rather caring about the success of prosperity of Paradis, or as he called it, "the New Eldian Empire".

"Ignore him." Sasha spoke to you, understanding how easily he would get under your skin. Soon, she started walking over to where Jean and Connie were standing, talking amongst themselves. You followed her wordlessly, deciding that distracting yourself with conversation would be the best option for now.

"Have you heard anything from Lobov?" You managed to pick up Connie saying, once you were in earshot.

"He should be coming up just about now." Jean responded, and you and Sasha took your places next to the two of them.

Sasha opened her mouth to speak, but immediately froze in her place, mouth slightly agape and eyes widened. She turned back to look at the opened airship door in confusion.

"Did you hear that?" She asked, turning back to the group. You, Connie, and Jean all exchanged confused looks for a minute, before Jean cleared his throat, preparing to speak.

"Hey, everyone, quiet down!" He shouted, attempting to gain control of the rowdy soldiers.

"Celebrate! It's our victory!" Floch raised his fist in the air, prompting everyone else to do the same, the group erupting into shouts and cheers.

"Hey!" Jean yelled louder this time, but to no avail.

You turned back to the airship door, scanning where Sasha had looked at moments prior, checking for any possible threats. You were about to turn back around, but an arm hoisting itself onto the airship caught your attention.

You froze in horror, watching as the soldier—a child soldier—rolled aboard the deck, a furious and determined look on her face as she pointed her rifle right into the crowd. Right at Sasha.

There was no time to think it out, to assess the situation—anything.

Without any hesitation, you lurched forwards to tackle Sasha and protect her from the—

*BANG*

The shot rang out, and even after the sound faded, a ring in your ears persisted, blocking out any and all noise around you.

The bullet shell clinked to the ground, and the soldier gazed on in bewilderment at what she'd done, finding herself shocked and unable to reload.

Jean took a quick glance at you and Sasha, both of you on the ground, blood already spilling onto the ground, and his mind clouded with rage. Without thinking, he drew his pistol from his waistband, drawing it up to his shoulder level and shooting back at the soldier.

Another soldier, also a child, a blonde one this time, climbed aboard right after, tackling the girl to the ground and saving her from the bullet, which ricocheted off of the metal beams of the airship and shot back at Jean, narrowly missing his face.

The other soldiers seemed to have gotten a hold of their senses, as they suddenly let out furious screams, charging towards the two children and relentlessly beating them, anger clouding their thoughts.

Sasha groaned from her position on the floor, dark vision finally materializing. She stirred, looking around and trying to gauge what had just happened, raising her hand to her forehead to try and push some of her hair out of her face. To her horror, though, the hand was wet. It was uncomfortably warm, yet characteristically crimson. Her gaze shifted to you in horror, still having your arms tucked protectively around her, shielding her from harm.

"Y/n!" She shouted, yanking you off of her, not realizing in the heat of the moment that that might hurt you. Your clothes were stained with blood, and you let out an involuntary groan in pain as you started to regain your senses.

"Y/n, come on! Where are you bleeding?! Where... where—?!" She searched frantically, her blood running cold and face paling as her hands grew bloodier and bloodier the more she searched. "Come on...!"

Suddenly, you moved your arm, grabbing Sasha's by the wrist and moving her hand away.

"S... Sash, stop, that hurts..." You mumble through clenched teeth, trying your hardest not to let Sasha realize the extent of your injury. Clearly, though, it wasn't working, as she only looked even more panicked at the thought of accidentally hurting you.

"Y/n... I..." She chocked out, tears starting to cloud her eyes as she desperately looked for something to do, something that could possibly help you in this situation.

"Bandages!" She suddenly shouted, "I need bandages! Somebody!!!"

You wince as your own hand starts to roam your torso, looking for the bullet hole. You let out a quiet sigh of relief when you located it—on your shoulder, close to your collarbone. Despite all the blood, it had thankfully missed any vital organs or major arteries.

"Here... Sasha..." You muttered, causing Sasha's head to snap back to your direction at your words. Your hand was cupped over the wound, as if it would stop the bleeding. Still, it signaled to Sasha where exactly the injury was, and you saw some of the tension lift in her face at the realization that it was a fairly nonfatal location, luckily. She took a deep breath in before speaking.

"Shhh... It's okay Y/n." She finally collected herself, calming herself down just enough to comfort you, just like she always had. "Lay down, take deep breaths, don't panic." She instructed, her hands gently pushing you down by your shoulders, and you did as she said wordlessly, being too tired to mutter any sort of affirmation to her.

Another soldier tossed her the roll of bandages, and she immediately started to unwind it, placing it on the wound and wrapping it around and under your armpit with swift precision and caution so uncharacteristic of her.

"Here, this should stop the bleeding a bit. You'll be okay, you'll be just fine..." She mumbled, though it seemed she was reassuring herself more than she was reassuring you.

You laid there in silence, staring up at the ceiling above you—occasionally grunting or wincing at the waves of pain that shot through you. Though, you somewhat reveled in the feeling of your lover carefully wrapping the bandage around your shoulder, taking great caution not to hurt you in any way.

You lolled your head to the other side, staring curiously at her. She was too focused to notice you at first, her tongue poking out of her mouth in concentration. Her skin was still somewhat pale, and adorned with a thin sheen of sweat, from the sudden panic and stress.

Finally, she finished wrapping up the bandage, cutting it from the roll and throwing it haphazardly to the side. Sighing, she gazed down at you, only now realizing you had been staring. She didn't seem to mind though, only reaching her hand down to cup your cheek, the warmth of your skin being a soothing reminder that you were still here—with her. You leaned into her hand, also enjoying the warmth of her skin.

She brushed the loose strands of hair out of your face, leaning down to plant a warm kiss on your lips, smiling as she pulled away, pressing her forehead to yours. You let out a small chuckle before placing your hand on her neck, pulling her down for another kiss.

Once separated, you slowly sat up, pulling yourself into a sitting position with all of the strength you could muster up.

"Ah, Y/n, try not to move so much..." Sasha mutters, worry dripping carelessly into her tone as her hands find your shoulders, guiding you to sit against the wall.

"I'm alright, it's... not so bad." You turned to smile at her weakly, trying to hide the pain's effect on you. It was in vain, however, as Sasha saw through your act quickly.

"No, you're not. Here—" She moved towards you, hooking her arm under your knees, the other one finding your lower back. Slowly, she stood up, carrying you bridal style. You instinctively curled into her chest like a child, gripping onto her shirt as a way to ground you.

To your dismay, though, she eventually stopped, gently laying you down on an old, stiff mattress. One of the infamous beds of the infirmary.

"C'mon, you need rest." She cooed, fluffing your pillow and lifting your head to place it under you. Carefully, she pushed you to the side, making just enough room for her to squeeze into the bed with you. She tucked the blanket over the two of you, lying on her side and facing you, your back turned to her.

She snaked her arm around your waist, pulling you closer and spooning you as gently as possible, as if you were glass, ready to shatter.

You closed your eyes, already feeling sleep and exhaustion taking over your body, the tension and pain slowly dissolving from your muscles.

The silence didn't last long, though.

"Why did you do that?" She finally spoke. Her voice was weak and shaky, trying her hardest to fight off the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. "Why did you save me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" You rebutted almost immediately, like it was the simplest question she could've asked you.

"You could've gotten killed..." She whispered, pulling you closer to her, trying to get as much skin to skin contact as possible.

"So?" You shifted, turning your head around to face her, staring her down. A twinge of sadness poked at your heart at the sight of the tears in her eyes. You instinctively moved your hands to wipe them away. "I couldn't imagine a world where I would live without you, knowing I had the option to save you and didn't choose it."

She sniffled again, not fighting the tears that escaped her eyes. "But what would I have done if I lost you? I wouldn't know what to do... I couldn't live with myself if that happened."

"You don't gotta worry about that..." You mumbled, kissing away her tears. "No matter what, I'm not leaving you, and I trust you won't ever leave me. After all," You smiled warmly, causing a shy blush to rise to her cheeks. "We still have to get married after the war, and settle down in the forest with a few kids, just like you always said you dreamed of."

She smiled, a hopeful look sparking in her eyes. "Yeah, guess so."

You turned your head back over, closing you eyes.

"I promise you, I'll never leave you. Remember that."

"Of course," She smiles, leaning into the nape of your neck and inhaling your scent. "Of course I know that. I trust you."

"Love you..."

"Love you too."

This would probably be better if I didn't shoe-horn it in at 12AM but whatever, it's not super bad

[shannarous]

hey i've seen some people claiming it still possible for eren to be father of historia child and its making me anxious. what do you think?

Hi anon! The short answer is no, I don’t think it’s possible, has never been. There is so much speaking against it - so here’s the long answer (stating the obvious):

Let's start with looking at Historia's reasons for becoming pregnant in the first place. Usually the reason for having a child is love. It's crystal clear though that this is not the case for Historia's child, no matter who the father is. The only one who Historia showed genuine affection towards was Ymir, and ever since her death Historia didn't really seem to care about anyone except for the orphan kids of Paradis. Now, chapter 138 confirmed that Eren was/is in love with Mikasa, or - if you don't see it that way - at least that Mikasa is the most important person in his life, so important that he would even ditch his best friend Armin and send Historia through hell just to spend his last years with Mikasa and Mikasa alone. Eren never showed similar feelings towards anyone but her, and the special moments he shared with her are plenty. Her memory shards always take up the most space by far and they're almost always at the very center. So, Eren and Historia both have (or had) their special someone whom they don't want to live without, and once they're separated from them their characters become dark. This makes Eren and Historia pretty similar to each other, and it's exactly why they became allies, or "partners in crime" even. They do care for each other, but not at all in a romantical way. Rather, we know that Eren cares for all of his friends and the people of Paradis in general. He wants them to live long and happy lives, so it's only natural that he initially stood up against Zeke's plan to turn Historia into a breeding machine and have her titanized eventually. He desperately sought a way out of it because it was against every single principle he has and because Historia is one of his dearest friends, but not his lover. Historia appreciated this, but she had actually accepted her fate and was willing to go through that hell if it served a greater good. Which is why it was no surprise that she was the one to suggest the pregnancy later while Eren had despised the idea the whole time.

So, if love isn't the reason for Historia's pregnancy, what is? Actually, there are several tactical reasons for it, and none of them requires Eren to be the father.

As mentioned above, Historia was the one to suggest the pregnancy, when she was talking with Eren about his Rumbling plans. We haven't seen the whole talk (yet), but I think we've seen enough to understand what it all meant. In short, the whole purpose of her pregnancy was to avoid her being titanized and Zeke being fed to her. While Eren initially just wanted to save her from having to bear a child she clearly didn't want and to stop the cruel cycle of children having to eat their parents, he now also had something different in mind. He needed a titan of royal blood to put his plan into action, and conveniently his half-brother was just that. However, Zeke would have been fed to Historia the moment he lay a foot on Paradis if the military had their way, and that may have even been an option for Eren too, since she’s got royal blood just as well as Zeke. But Historia actually wasn't okay with Eren's plans at first and even wanted to go along with the military's. So he needed to convince her to obey, otherwise he would have had to use Founding Titan to make her cooperate - whereas he had seen in his future memories that with Zeke he would be able to achieve his goal much easier. Moreover, had he used Historia instead of Zeke, her lifespan would have been shortened drastically, and not only that: It would've put her in grave danger. We don't know exactly how much Eren knew about the future, but even if he hadn't known anything at all at that time, he must've considered the possibility of his plan failing. Maybe he even already knew he was gonna be killed, and if it had been Historia in Zeke's place during the Rumbling, she would've been killed along with him. Eren did everything he possibly could to leave his friends out of his plans, to be the only one responsible for it all, to be the only "bad guy" - that's what the Rumbling was all about in the first place. He needed Historia to play along, but quietly. Well, Historia made it pretty clear she wouldn't support him with the Rumbling, so much so that Eren offered to alter her memories if the burden of knowing was too much for her to bear. However, when he reminded her of her own words, that she was "the worst girl in the world", humanity's enemy, I guess Historia knew in that moment that she wouldn't be able to stop him, so she gave up opposing him and became his ally again. Since the only option to prevent Historia from being titanized and eating Zeke was the pregnancy, in the end, it was a choice between certain death (either in the near future or after 13 years at the latest) or a 9-month-hell for Historia, and they chose the latter as it obviously seemed like the smaller price to pay.

So now they had agreed on the pregnancy being necessary as a way to prevent Historia's certain death and to start the Rumbling. I can see why some people think it'd be logical that Eren would "help" her with executing this plan, but there is way too much speaking against that:

- As I have made clear above, Eren and Historia are not in love, have never been. In fact, they are or were both in love with someone else. It is therefore highly unlikely that Eren would just say "sure you need a baby I'll make you one" - no, both of them would never ever want this. If you think they would, you haven't understood their characters at all. Besides, Historia may have given in to Eren's plan after all, but keep in mind that she was actually wholeheartedly against his ideas. While they were allies in the end, their mindsets were quite different, if not opposing. That's why I don't see that "connection" that some fans claim exists between them. They are very similar in character, but they deal with their fates very differently.

- I've highlighted before that Eren despises the idea of putting Historia through the living hell that is forced pregnancy. Do you really think he would even be able to have sex with her like that? The only reason he agreed to her becoming pregnant is that the only other option was her certain death. If there had been another way, he sure as hell would never have agreed to put her through that.

- I haven't mentioned him until now but he's probably even the most important piece in this puzzle: Farmer-kun exists. Why would Historia even bother to approach Farmer-kun if she really already had Eren to make her a child? He wouldn't be necessary. Some say he's just a "cover-up story", but what for? Why would Eren and Historia even have to keep it a secret if Eren was the father? That one military officer said it loud and clear when talking to Nile and the others: they do not care at all who impregnated Historia. The queen is free to chose her suitors herself. All they care about is the simple fact that she's pregnant. She could've even said she didn't know who the father was, it wouldn't have changed a thing. Moreover, consider the fact that Farmer-kun seems oblivious to all of it. If he really was a cover-up, he wouldn't know, and that means Historia would still have had to sleep with him to make him believe he's the father, even if she already was pregnant from Eren. And if Eren really was in love with Historia, he would never let her have sex with someone else just for cover-up. As if the pregnancy itself wasn't enough of a burden already.

- Last but not least: Eren does not have any special genes at all. He's not of royal blood, nor is he an Ackermann or Asian or anything that would make him a tactical choice for being the father of this child. Titan powers are not inherited by shifter's children either - it was stated unmistakably in the manga that when a shifter dies without passing on their titan powers, they're transferred to a random newborn Eldian child, no matter the distance or blood relation between the two. From this perspective, Farmer-kun's genes are just as good as Eren's.

I hope this helps anon, I know how anti’s theories can cause anxiety, even knowing that it’s probably not true. Chapter 139 will clear things up for better or for worse, we’ll see. Maybe I’m completely wrong, but I consider it extremely unlikely at this point.

[heybeybey]

No Regrets

Holy shit I finally wrote a full short fic!! I was inspired when @petra-realsnk posted this beautiful fic! I’m currently finishing up Chap 135 (so there’s spoilers for those who’ve only watched the anime!) in the manga and thought about a what if scenario where the Survey Corps didn’t try to stop Eren. 

Note: I highly doubt that there’s a universe where Levi and the remaining Survey Corps members, especially Petra, would be okay with genocide but it was fun to explore the thought. (Felt masochistic, won’t delete later ✌️😘)

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Genre: Angst. And it’s Rivetra but I don’t think this can be considered romance. 

Summary: [Mature] Canonverse AU. Petra survived the 57th expedition and Eren was successful in his Rumbling. Petra and Levi questions if they made the right choices. 

----

They never talked about it.

No regrets. That's what his whole being has been about since he joined the Survey Corps. Petra’s devotion to him pushed her to follow him to the end.

The end did come and try as they might to ignore it, they lived every single day questioning the actions they’ve taken.

Today's Liberation Day. The Eldians are celebrating the day the great Eren Yeager freed Paradis from the rest of the world three years ago. As with every year, the town square will have a play reenacting the Rumbling later this afternoon. They're also serving dishes from the now-extinct Marley. He can only think what Niccolo must be feeling right now.

It's their country’s way of showing that they've won. It's theirs. The world is theirs.

His comrades. Erwin. All of them died for this farce.

However, the biggest clowns were the Survey Corps. 

Him, Hange, Armin, Petra, Connie, Jean, Mikasa. “The Great Heroes of Paradis,” people would call them in adoration and admiration.

Hange was still alive. She's still the Commander of the Survey Corps and she's been leading Paradis’s expansion with Armin across the flattened grounds beyond their little island. He doubts the both of them sleep well at night though. Last time he and Petra visited, he learned that Hange took down Erwin's portrait in her office. Petra cries whenever she sees Armin, remembering the boy who’d always talk to her about the ocean. 

Connie went back to Ragako to build back his village. He never tried to make contact with them again after that.

Jean transferred to the Military Police shortly after. Commander Nile named him next in line. They needed to promote as many people as possible because there’s still a possibility that half of the military can turn into a titan anytime now, even with that fucking monkey dead.

However, a recent rumor reached his city that the Military Police’s next-in-line just shot himself in the mouth yesterday morning.

Mikasa, on the other hand, disappeared.

Levi tried to locate the Ackerman girl a few times. Mikasa can be downright disrespectful and insubordinate during his time as her captain but she's still family. They never treated each other as such but she still is.

His condition prevented him from pushing himself further the way he could before and he had no choice but to follow as Petra led him back.

With his injuries, he needed to retire from the Survey Corps. Petra, banged up with her own scars—physical, emotional, and even mental, also signed in her resignation the day he signed his.

They say it's because they are not in the shape to push through anymore. Besides, there's nothing else to fight except their conscience and inner demons.

The truth is that seeing the Wings of Freedom on their uniform made him want to retch his breakfast every fucking day. Levi once said that he'd kill Eren the moment he shows that he’s a threat to humanity. They all dedicated their life to humanity’s freedom.

You bore the wings of freedom but allowed a monster to clip away the wings of the rest of the world.

What a joke.

He’s snapped out of his usual episodes when Petra came in through the door.

“It’s true,” she says and he takes in the dead look in her eyes. He wished it wouldn’t look any deader as the day Paradis won but it does.

He remains silent, waiting for her to continue.

“Jean. It’s true. He’s dead. His fiance found him yesterday.”

Levi understands Kirstein. He really does. He used to be against suicide because so many people who want to live die everyday. Now though, if he had the will to point a bullet to his own head, he would.

But he can’t leave the baby in Petra’s womb fatherless.

“Do we deserve this, Levi?” At first, he thought she was referring to Jean’s death. All this sadness and self-loathing. “Do we deserve this? A home. A baby on the way.”

When so many beyond the island saw their own homes and children trampled on.

This is the first time she brought it up and he wasn’t surprised that she was the one who opened this conversation.

Petra is already a shell of her former self. He finds it hard to believe that this was the same woman who’d fight titans with fire in her eyes. Who managed to capture his attention since the day she graduated from the cadets. Who managed to survive when their whole squad and the fucking Scout commander couldn't. If they hadn’t fucked around one drunken night of loneliness and despair, he feels she’d lose all the will to push forward.

“How should I know? I told you before. The only thing we can do now-“

“-Is to live with the consequences of our actions.” A beat. She looks down and carefully places her hand on the bulge of her stomach. "Do you think he'll be proud of us?"

Another topic he tried to not approach is the baby. He knows that he'll never abandon her and the little boy or girl inside her but that doesn't mean he'd make a great father.

"Beats me."

She finally snaps. "Levi, just talk to me for once!"

When he imagined a future with Petra back when he was still her captain, he saw it happening with them winning against the titans. He'd kiss her on the battlefield in relief, not caring if fellow soldiers saw that he’s in love with his own subordinate all this time, as everyone cheers over the fact that everything's over and that they're now free to explore beyond the Walls. He'd awkwardly admit that her feelings have always been mutual and maybe he'd even propose years down the road. She'd laugh at him and tell him that age must be really catching up to him if he's actually considering marriage.

"Levi, please. You used to be so open with me. Please don't leave me alone."

She's downright begging now, her arms encircling around his waist as she starts sobbing in desperation. Petra clutches his hand, caressing the remaining two fingers on his one hand.

"Please talk to me. You don't have to carry this burden yourself. I was there until the end, remember?"

In a way, seeing her like this is a relief. Since they retired, he'd always see her walking around the house in a daze. The only time he hears emotion in her voice is when she screams out at night as she wakes up from a nightmare. She doesn’t talk to anyone else now besides him. Sometimes, he rarely even listens. When Hange and Armin visited, she'd make tea and serve them like a meek, little housewife and she'd force a smile on for their guests.

He hates it. This isn't Petra.

Her crying now and demanding him to open up. This is Petra. 

He misses her. 

And since he hasn't found his voice in the past three years, he answers her by abruptly spinning around, grabbing her ginger strands and roughly kissing her to shut her up.

His hand grabs the spot where her chin meets her neck and he clenches. He manhandles her to their room and he fucks her while also making sure he doesn't harm the baby. This is the only way they can communicate their sadness and understanding right now.

She accepts it all without question, her teary eyes staring at the ceiling above him. The only indication that she's okay with all of this are her quiet moans and whimpers for him to go harder and her arms clinging around him in desperation. 

This isn't Petra.

He isn't Levi anymore either.

[vesuvian-american-fics]

better with time. Ch 11

the end of the beginning.

You looked forward to a trip abroad, you share one last meal with your family before your life would change forever. (AO3)

Words: 1,836

Falling.

Falling.

You were falling really fast. Your breath was caught in your throat. The air was hot and scorching. Microscopic beads of sand stuck into your lungs. When you finally opened your eyes a bed of sand that went on for as far as the eyes could see was surging up to meet you head on.

You shielded your face and that was it. For a moment. In the next moment you were waking up in bed. You were home. Your weary father woke you from your deep sleep.

“Wakey wakey deary! Don’t sleep in again Y/N. Today’s a special day, up up!” He cheered, his voice was raspy, his posture was bad from a long life of work to support you and your younger siblings.

“Where am I? Papa?” You asked weakly, the words feeling foreign on your tongue, but not so out of place. Your father gave a hearty laugh, he was a large man, with big rough hands almost always with a coating of soot on the from his job in the coal mines of... you don’t know where you are yet.

“Must be some dream you were having, deary. Get dressed now and come downstairs for some oats for breakfast! The good kind! The kind you loved since you were a baby!” He smiled, a slight wheeze to his voice. Although you could tell your father had a hard life, he was always happy at home. Never letting it be known how tired he really was.

You couldn’t help but find yourself smiling to him, a renewed energy surging through you and getting you up and out of bed.

“I-I’ll be down in a minute Papa!” You shouted after him down the stairs. You were happy, really happy. You felt like you had just been away for a really long time and now you were finally back where you were meant to be. Back home with Papa, your sisters and brother. You remember now that Mother passed away just a few years ago but you had come to peace with that in time. She passed peacefully in her sleep; you were told at the hospital.

After dressing yourself in the clothes that had been left out for you, you skipped down the stairs. Four smaller kids rushed you and squeezed you tightly.

“Y/N! We really miss you!” They shouted in unison, you recognize them at your three younger sisters and your baby brother.

“Huh? But I’ve always been here.” You commented, patting the children atop their heads. They didn’t respond except for giving you one last long squeeze. They felt desperate, clinging a bit longer than what was comfortable for you but you dismissed it as silly child’s play.

You father gave you a big hug as well, picking you up off of your feet before placing you in your seat at the table. The seat you sat in your whole life, you recognized everything you saw. The quilt your mother had sewn, the rusty oven your father loved to overuse, the bowtie around your brother’s neck, every little thing. However, it was as if everything not within your direct line of view simply didn’t exist. You couldn’t remember it, you couldn’t comprehend it, you couldn’t attempt to imagine it if you wanted. It only existed if you saw it. How odd.

“Well Papa, what’s so special about today?” You asked between spoon fulls of your morning oats.

“You hit your head or something? You had been yappin’ about this day for months now! You were one of the Eldian’s chosen to go get on that big ship abroad to a neighboring country! Today’s the day!” He hooted, dropping a heavy plate stacked high with freshly buttered rolls from the oven.

From this moment on you were on autopilot. No longer in control of your actions, you were in the passenger seat of your own existence, only allowed the privilege to see what happens.

“Oh, I can’t wait! I didn’t want to be stuck here forever! No offense Papa, but you know I’ve dreamt of leaving and exploring new things!” You squealed. Right on time, the first horn was blown on the ship announcing the first-class boarding. You gasped and hopped to your feet.

“Obviously that horn isn’t for me but, Papa, I’ve got to get going I don’t want to be late!” You declared, scooping your siblings up into your arms for one last hug. You pecked your father’s cheek with a feather light kiss before grabbing your packed bags and dashing out the door.

There was a flash of regret across your father’s features, but not one the old you noticed in that moment. The you of today, whenever today was, wanted to stop and ask why he looked so troubled. Torn like he didn’t want you to go, but beyond that of missing one’s child off to a trip abroad. A look of dread stricken across his features. Lack of color to his skin, excess sweat beading to his brow and thick tears already spilling over his cheeks.

It sent chills through you.

The next time you opened your eyes you were on a ship, still excited, only a little concerned about the conditions you were being kept in. You hadn't seen your bags since you had boarded the ship. They were quickly taken away by military staff as you were rushed off to where you’d be staying. That was three days ago already. Your room was filled with other girls about your ages. They seemed troubled, they kept quiet only speaking when spoken to. You brushed off the thoughts screaming to you that something was very wrong.

You were Eldian, you knew your conditions wouldn't be pristine in comparison to... the other people. You can’t remember what they’re called for some reason. Let alone the fact that you can’t remember what makes you so different from them. But these were the times you were born into. You can’t change it.

Another two days passed and finally the door to your holding area was opened. You were no longer excited. Only afraid. You don’t know where you are, or why it took so long to get here. Why you hadn’t been able to change clothes in five days and why you hadn’t been offered food for the last day and a half. The other girls were crying now, and had been for a long time that it was starting to make you tear up as well.

“You! With me...” A masked man said as he stomped towards you grabbing you roughly by the arm and dragging you out of the ship and above deck. You were blindfolded and another set of hands dragged you somewhere.

The air was hot and scorching. Microscopic beads of sand were stuck into your lungs. Your blindfold was ripped off and as your eyes adjusted painfully to the change in light your heart jumped into your throat.

“Where am I?” You cried out; your questions were ignored. Instead, you were answered to a sharp pain in your upper arm, a large syringe imbedded into your skin. You cried uncontrollably until you couldn’t manage your breathing. To your right you heard a man's wales echoing, you looked to where the noise was coming from and what you saw made your heart freeze. Everything froze. The man was roughly kicked over the edge of this giant wall down to the desert below.

Then the next man, then a woman, then your neighbor from back home. Next was a child you had recognized from always selling newspapers by the shops back in town. Many more people were kicked from the wall. Screaming, crying, sobbing, puking as they fell.

You were next.

A horrifying man stood before you, a scowl ever-present on his face. You could feel the hatred oozing off of him like a sticky ink and you felt your stomach wretch from the dread that settled deep in there.

You began to shake violently, trying to fight free of the men holding you in place, to run, far far away from this place and never turn back. You were afraid. You were hyperventilating, your face hot and wet from the continuous rivulet of tears streaming from your eyes.

The man was quick, his hand snapped up to grab you harshly by the face, keeping you still.

“I recognize this one. Remember, few years ago? W-what was the name...uhhh. What’s your last name kid?” He asked, his voice was deep and smooth. It sickened you how he was talking so comfortably to you as if he weren't just about to kick you from this wall that was however many meters tall. As much as you wanted to ignore him, your fear won the battle and obediently you answered his question.

“Yeah, yeah! Few years ago, your mom was here! Ha! See I told you I recognized this one, looks just like her old bat of a mom.” The two men laughed in your face as the realization settled in you.

“W-what.... no? No! My mom died in the hospital! You’re lying!!!” You screamed and spat at the two men. Your insolence wasn’t tolerated, and the man in charge punched you harshly in the head.

“Yes, she was! Your mom was on the first batch out here and now it's your turn, and then the rest of your family if we’re lucky, there’s too many of ya.” The men began to laugh again. The two holding you down finally loosened their grip on your shoulders and before you knew it, there was a harsh kick to your back.

Falling.

You were falling really fast. You closed your eyes as you felt your stomach leap as you became weightless. You don’t know how much time passed before you opened your eyes. But a bed of sand that went on for as far as the eyes could see was surging up to meet you head on.

You shielded your face and that was it. For a moment. In the next moment you were coughing violently. Your whole body was sore.

“Y/N! Y/N!” Hange shouted as they cradled your head on their sturdy lap.

Levi sheathed his swords back where they belonged. He was sure you were turning into a titan when a huge cloud of steam surrounded you. However, just as he and Hange made it through the fog you were collapsed and foaming from your mouth after having a particularly violent seizure.

“Papa...” you gargled as your face twisted in pain. Levi frowned, you sounded so weak and... sad. He sighed before calling the horses around and getting you set up securely in the carriage with Hange. The three of you rushed back towards the base where the proper infirmary that you have become so acquainted to was waiting for you.

“You better wake up, you... and explain yourself damnit...” Levi grunted to himself as he pushed his trusted horse as hard as he could towards the horizon.

[ryuichirou]

I saw one very stupid post on my dash about how snk is OBVIOUSLY nazi propaganda and trying to convert all of us into imperialists and white supremacists. tbh it’s not the first time I’ve seen that kind of stuff and probably won't be the last, but for some reason this time it gave me a lot of anxiety (I got wordy, I'mma need to send another ask, sorry)

(part 2) It's been more than half and hour and I still feel this awful sensation in my chest. It's just overall pretty fucked how to have something you hold dear being misinterpreted in the worst way possible, and I was just wondering what are your thoughts on this situation or how you deal with people claiming all sorts of awful shit.

(part 3) I imagine that as an artist some people probably direct their issues with snk towards you, 'cause I don't even post that much fanart and I've gotten anons "trying to educate me" on why this series is so wrong, after posting drawings. Of course, you don't have to reply, maybe the topic makes you anxious too and I don't want to bother you, so sorry for the depressing topic (｡•́︿•̀｡)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiiish, I want to hug you, I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I hope you’re feeling a little bit better now.

Like we already mentioned a while ago, when we were talking about that darn article, after we read through it and did a little fact checking (and I mean it when I say a little, because there weren’t many facts to check), we stopped caring about it. It’s not research at all, just a manipulatively written speculation on Yam’s motives and worldview, but sadly, people easily believe these accusations because they hate SnK and want to find a valid reason to hate it and shit on its fanbase. Because “I hate it because it’s nazi propaganda” sounds much cooler than “I hate it because it’s popular”, doesn’t it?

It’s easier to ignore the article itself though, and it’s much harder not to think about tumblr posts or those Twitter threads that get very popular (although there are a lot of bots on twitter, trust me…), and it’s especially difficult to ignore it when it’s specifically directed at you. But the only thing that these people deserve is a good ol’ block and (if they’re getting too offensive and abusive) a report for harassment. The thing is, their opinion doesn’t matter: it won’t change SnK’s story, it won’t affect its success and popularity, it doesn’t affect anything other than our mood (temporarily lol). Because they aren’t critics who actually give a flying fuck about the subject matter, they’re just random assholes with a hateboner for SnK, who sit in their echochamber and discuss the same shit over and over again. And if they’re “fans” of the SnK, it’s just them “consuming it critically” 🙄 such a convenient phrase and so easy to abuse.

If we think about these accusations again… they’re so damn nonsensical, it’s almost amazing. I’m not going to reread it or to make a proper counterpoint article out of this ask, so this is just based on how we remember these accusations.

Like, what part of SnK approves and pushes the idea of imperialism in any way? When the entire idea of the story is that war is bad? When people like Onyankopon, whose homeland was invaded by Marley, exist? And it’s never portrayed as a good thing? Having only one country dominating the world’s situation is literally the main reason why everyone’s suffering??

And come to think of it, Isayama is one of the few manga artists to kind of sort of openly critique Japan: he literally drew Kiyomi losing her cool and drooling while thinking about all the profit and wealth she would get from the deal with Paradis. Why do people never talk about that? What is it, if not a critique of greedy and two-faced nature of people from Azumabito clan, who are heavily implied to represent Japan? I don’t read a lot of manga in general, but do you know how many mangakas I’ve seen who directly talked shit about Japan while being Japanese? Two. Excluding Isayama.

Isayama is clearly invested in the Western culture and he understands the World’s History. He understands that political relationships are complex and that there are no “bad” or “good” countries. I don’t want to make assumptions about how much perspective of the world’s relationships the average person from Japan has, but I still feel like Yams has a pretty good understanding of it. He did his research for the subject matter, and while it’s obviously not perfect, it’s clearly there.

These people also claim that SnK is anti-Korean and anti-Semitic, but if Hetalia had taught me anything, it is that if the story has or used to have any anti-Korean undertones, the Korean readers wouldn’t want to have anything to do with it. They would be the first people to ditch the manga, they would be the first people to critique SnK, and rightfully so. They burnt Uniqlo clothes, their overall domestic policy is pretty anti-Japanese, so there’re literally zero reasons for them not to destroy SnK if they see it as anti-Korean. But the size of the Korean SnK fandom suggests otherwise, doesn’t it.

And the “big noses = Jewish caricature” argument, seriously? How anti-Semitic can you get? Who the fuck looks at people and goes “oh, those have big noses, bet they’re caricature of Jews”?? Sorry I’m getting heated lol The argument about “Asian artists portray Westerners with prominent noses because that’s what we look like to them” has been done a lot of times, I’m not going to go over than again.

And god forbid Isayama to use Germany and Europe to draw a story where his characters are (approximately) Germans and Europeans! Let’s go fetch our pitchforks to punish Isayama for using their aesthetic to make his story look more believable and authentic, right? “Oh, those areas where they hold Eldians resemble places from real life”, like no shit???? Ofc they would??? That’s what references for making the story more grounded are used for??? If I were to write a story about a fictional place based on a real one that I don’t live in, I’d use some visual references to help me to make it more believable??? Why do I even need to explain that?

In my previous post I talked about the armbands and ghetto and stuff, but I’ll reiterate: even if there are thematic similarities, it doesn’t mean that the story mirrors our history. And it doesn’t mean that there is an analogy, since Eldian’s situation is quiiiite different than what Jewish people had to go through. It’s just thematic similarities. And it still doesn’t plant any specific idea in the reader’s head, other than “having people shoved into ghettos with 0 civil rights is a horrible thing”, and I can’t comprehend what’s anti-Semitic or imperialistic about it. Also I’m sorry, but nazis are not the only people who genocided a bunch of people, breaking news. Nor did they invent armbands. Same goes for Japan in WWII.

And now for my favourite argument: Erwin is nazi because his name is Erwin and he was born on the same day than some nazi guy died… I won’t even talk about why this idea is hilariously stupid, I just want to appreciate the level of nitpicking that’s going on here.

So… yeah. People who have nothing else to do but to complain about the show they hate don’t matter. And people who consider themselves a part of the SnK fandom and still say this bs (yep, there are people who do that) are huge hypocrites. The heck are they doing in this fandom then?? Of course, any story is up to interpretation, but this is so backwards?

Sorry for rambling so much… anyways. We’re happy enough not to encounter any hate related to this topic, but we think it’s because we ship Ereri and people already hate us for that, so the majority of shit we get is related to that, I guess we’re a lost cause for them. We’ll see if anything happens after this post though.

But once again, I’m very sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember that this isn’t personal at all, and people who harass strangers on the internet just want to flex their high moral ground while acting like complete assholes. You don’t have to explain anything to them, you don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to listen to them or give them any attention. I hope you’ll never stumble upon anything like this; but if you ever do, please block them, don’t even bother reading their attempts at “educate” you. Isn’t worth it.

Please have a good day, Tish. And everyone who’s reading this reply.

[it-sy-bit-sy]

The ending of Attack on Titan: a shallow analysis

(I don't think I should have to put a spoilers alert on a blog about the ENDING OF AOT, but in general if you mind being spoiled on a series, I advise you to refrain from attending discussions about the body of work until you've finished it in its entirety/come up to speed on the current chapter/episode. Screw hype dude, do you like being hurt? Also for the TLDR, it’s that Attack on Titan explores the cycle of hatred (Eren’s journey) AND love which is why Mikasa and Ymir become relevant at the end of the story.)

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PREFACE

Since the newly added panels of AOT’s ending have been likened by some to the ending of Naruto, I'd like to say that Naruto's end truly hurt me; the way it flows into Boruto is so contrived it burns. A story that's always centered around powerful ninja bloodlines fighting political wars suddenly introduced aliens that harvest planets for energy as the super antagonist, and additionally they're the source of all our characters' powers as well as the jinchuriki and tailed beasts themselves. Then when you look at the plot of Boruto which heavily relies on the Otsutsuki clan as an antagonistic force, their whole existence feels like the transition from Dragon Ball straight into the first DBZ arc with Goku learning he’s really part of an alien race that was meant to destroy Earth.

I didn't detect so forced a role in the ending of AOT, but it's absolutely plausible to speculate that the alternate ending was influenced for this reason, as we know Attack on Titan wasn't produced through Isayama's involvement alone. Certain compromises are made when operating as a team, though it would be wonderful if the original intent of authors were more absolute in the world of production than they are known to be.

And as much as I don't enjoy half-hearted continuations of series for a royalty check, I ALMOST can't blame them for doing it...it creates (many) happy fans, more jobs, and Isayama gets his royalty check. The rest of us suffer but hey, artists need money I guess... 🥀 Moving on. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#1. Eren's development as a character

I never saw Eren's goal steered in the direction of breaking the cycle of revenge or hatred. He was acting wholly in his own interests. He's intensely selfish, doesn't want to change his views, and exists in the story to further the cycle itself. According to me, Chapters 129 and 131 perfectly explain his motivations for the rumbling.

Now before I go on, I'd like to bring a particular scene to mind. I do remember him saying this once (to Historia who had just told him killing the rest of the world is unjustifiable and wrong):

Yes, he said that, but I don't think that is what he ever intended the rumbling to be used for.

After he stated that 80% of humanity was wiped out so Paradis will be safe for the time being, he neglected to answer Armin's questions in 139: "Did you really need to go that far? Are you sure you did all of this for our sakes?" We may also consider the thoughts he chose NOT to share in chapter 131:

That combined with this excerpt from 129 is pretty much all there is to Eren's convictions.

Those are the same words he said in Chapter 2 after his mother died.

So despite his brief period of self-loathing when considering 1) the countless lives in survey corps sacrificed for his sake, 2) being confronted with his and his father's involvement in the Reiss family, 3) everything he learned about his enemy--that all titans are formerly human, that the titan shifters were just children deceived by their world--he even admits to Reiner during Tyburn's speech (Chapter 100) that they are indeed in the same boat--and on top of that, admitting that the rumbling will do nothing to fix the course of history, he settled with the same conviction he held the moment he decided to do something to change the world.

Again, here's his words from 139 showing us just how angry a boi Eren was.

This was Eren Jaeger...he didn't even really know what he was doing.

As a human being, Eren was very much in the cycle of revenge as much as everyone else was. His course of action never deviated too far from that path. He knew better, but he lashed out at the world to protect the few people he cared about anyway. He took freedom away from the ones who threatened him. He was a mass murderer, and so were the other soldiers in this series fighting for their own reasons, since titans were people. Survey corps were always slaughtering these people whom they saw as monsters. Marley viewed Eldians as monstrously and with as much hatred as Eldians viewed the titans. Eren did not try to justify his actions to everyone. He simply stopped seeing the value of life in others not important to him, as humans often do.

So what did he sacrifice 80% of humanity for? From 129 again:

Them meaning his immediate friends.

No, he didn't care about their children's children and beyond because there's no way to control what happens when you're gone from this world. It wasn't his problem. Eren had 4 years at most left to live, and he wanted to do what he could to ensure his friends were happy before he left.

And as jarring as it was to see Eren become undone in the last chapter, I didn't find it completely out of character, because for one he was talking to his closest friend moments before his own death, and secondly, Eren was just a stupid human like the rest of the people in this series. Obviously, most people just want a normal life that they can spend with people whom they love. Eren was the same way, but was denied that future (and happened to be able to do something about it). Very selfish goals, but those chosen few were his world. Along with a general distaste for humanity, that's how I understand his character motivations.

*Which is to say in relation to the extra pages, Ymir's curse returning a generation or two after the events of AOT doesn't entirely void his actions. I’m assuming the power of Ymir apparently exists as a force of nature on this version of Earth period, so I suppose this points us to an endless cycle of humans eventually finding the power and using it as they see fit *

#2 Why is Romance Relevant to Attack on Titan?

I wasn't expecting a romance factor to be relevant at the end of the story, however considering that Mikasa's affection for Eren WAS her most prominent personality trait as a character, then the events that followed, I was forced to look back to a few moments in the series that could lend light to why, in the end, a romantic subplot ended the curse of Ymir. My conclusions are as follows:

1. Quite literally, the cycle of hatred never ends. Humans will always have a reason to be unkind to one another. We are animals after all; this trait cannot be reasoned through with logic, bred out, or defeated. We are a self-aware species (Eren's even aware of his own hypocrisy in Chapter 131). There will always arise those who take what they want for themselves because they decide in the end they don't care about others as much as they care about their own interests.

2. To make this second point, I'm stealing these words out of a certain machine lifeform's mouth, but bear with me here:

"But the humans...? Now THEY are interesting. Because they are an enigma! They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind, yet loved in equal measure! It's fascinating, don't you think? What could possibly drive such behavior? We have dedicated ourselves to unraveling this riddle of humanity..."

--Adam from NieR:Automata

AOT uses Eren and Mikasa as a case study of humanity. Humans hate and love in equal measure.

In Ch. 129, Zeke's piece here foreshadows the significance of those two for the story, I guess?

Now everyone reading this series as well as the characters in it had noticed how much fondness Mikasa always had for Eren, and how aloof he always was towards her in return...that's something for them to work out.

Despite never really reciprocating Mikasa's feelings, Eren told Armin at the end of the series that yes, he enjoyed receiving her attention; he would have liked to live a happy life with her. So, Mikasa just liked Eren, Eren liked her... And similar to Mikasa, Ymir just liked King Fritz. It doesn't matter whether we think these feelings were sound or not; they did what they wanted with themselves. I suppose that explains the reason she was a mega simp for Eren in the whole story. Yes, this turn in the story reads like a different plot now, not one about war and killing monsters, but I'm pleasantly surprised that this trait taken as a flaw of Mikasa’s actually served as a necessary condition to end the conflict of the titans.

Eren wouldn't let go of his hatred of the world for his own satisfaction, Ymir wouldn't let go of her love of King Fritz for her own satisfaction, and Mikasa is the only one who decided to let go of her convictions in the interest of someone other than herself. That's what moved the curse.

I think Isayama used the characters of Ymir and Mikasa to demonstrate that while there is a cycle of hatred and revenge running rampant in humanity, the cycle of love doesn't stop either.

In closing, and I truly apologize for such a lengthy post; I hope I didn’t reiterate my point too often here...I didn't think about any of this until I heard so many readers upset with the way AOT ended. I'm not personally left with any disappointment in where the story went. I didn't know where it was going to go in the first place, and I think it could have been much worse for us in different hands. 

*shrugs*

AOT is a story about the nature of humanity.

*And in regards to Jean, if that is supposed to be him with Mikasa in the new panels, all I can say is dude likes his girl. He was a simp for her and she was a simp for Eren, but the fact that they shared their lives together means a lot even if Eren was never completely buried in her heart. He meant a lot to her man, idk...

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 69 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 200 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 193 responses

The anime continues on with it’s hot streak, with episode 69 receiving only 1 vote in the negative direction. The vast majority were very pleased with this episode. 

this time the pacing felt quite weird, specially with how they managed the flashbacks. sorry mappa, but for the first time i feel like this was a 7/10 episode

nice i guess.

Beautifully done

It was great especially the confession part hahah

I love MAPPA's takes on the series so far!

Overall, very good episode. MAPPA is doing a great job. 

i liked it!

A little iffy but still solid.

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE PRESENT TIME WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 194 responses

There were many significant moments in this episode, so we opted to divvy up the options. For favorite moments during the present time, Eren’s harsh tone with Hange garnered the highest amount of votes at 34.5%. Not far behind, 26.3% most enjoyed watching the 104th talk about Eren and what happened in Marley. Behind those two scenes were Hange asking Eren why he was talking to himself in the mirror (12.4%), and getting the small zevi crumbs at the end of the episode (8.2%).

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE KIYOMI FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 192 responses

For the flashback where the Survey Corps meets Kiyomi, nearly half of the fandom (43.2%) were ecstatic to finally see the scene between Historia and Mikasa animated. 24% most enjoyed Eren’s rejection of Zeke’s plan in Historia’s defense. 14.6% were immersed in Hange’s dismay at considering making Historia continue the cycle of children eating their parents, and 12.5% were thrilled to finally see Mikasa reveal her tattoo to Kiyomi. 

Tfw you think MAPPA cut Kiyomi’s drooling scene due to tv lag and later you find out the scene was changed to something equivalent: O__O 

5head pixis made me laugh

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE RAILROAD FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 193 responses

Eren’s confession at the end of the railroad flashback took the most attention from fans, with 41.5% enjoying that portion the most. 20.2% enjoyed the 104th all discussing who is most suited to inherit Eren’s titan. 19.2% got a kick out of seeing smol Armin chasing around smol Sasha, and 13% were happy to see Levi (and his annoyance that everyone is taller than him). 

Armin's :o face was just adorable! Had forgotten it from the manga

MIKASA REVEALS THE AZUMABITO CLAN SYMBOL AS A TATTOO ON THE TOP OF HER WRIST. THIS IS A RETCON FROM SEASON 1 WHEN WIT REPLACED THE BRANDING WITH EMBROIDERY INSTEAD. THOUGH THE TATTOO IS WHAT’S FAITHFUL TO THE MANGA (MIKASA’S MANGA COUNTERPART HAS ALWAYS HAD THIS), WAS THIS A GOOD DECISION ON MAPPA’S PART? 192 responses

When it comes to the tattoo retcon, opinions seem to be relatively mixed. 22.9% of respondents felt that the retcon was a good move, because they feel that faithfulness to the source material is the most important thing in an adaptation. 21.9% felt it was a mixed situation, because they appreciate faithfulness to the manga, but also prefer for things to have proper continuity. 20.8% agreed that it was a good move, but mainly because the embroidery was “lame and forgettable” anyway. At smaller percentages, 16.1% felt that it wasn’t really a big deal either way since the family symbol was acknowledged regardless, and 9.4% didn’t care at all.

Mix of 3 and last point

Yes because faithfulness to the source material is important and I don't think the existence of the embroidery means that the branding didn't also exist.

No: continuity issues in the anime, but Yes: the embroidery thing was stupid.

1) we never saw the embroidery being kept by mikasa 2) kiyomi could have thought they just found it and stole it from the shogun's descendants' tombs or something. we as manga readers know mikasa is truly a descendant of the shogun, but anime onlies would have thought it could be possible for kiyomi not to trust them. so a tattoo is the best choice

Yes, MAPPA made a good decision. The anime onlies probably don't even remember the embroidery thing anyway. 

Bruh, if I hadn't read the manga, I would've forgotten the Mikasa mom scene.

Options one and two.

HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF THE 104TH WERE TO INHERIT EREN’S TITAN POWER, WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST OPTION? 191 responses

The notable majority of respondents feel that Jean would have been the best candidate to inherit Eren’s titan. At a distant second, people would opt for Armin to inherit Eren’s titans (perhaps because he is already a titan anyway). The rest of the characters were relatively evenly chosen.

WHICH “SHIPPY” MOMENT FROM THE EPISODE WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 193 responses

This piechart turned out to be very colorful. Nearly a quarter of respondents couldn’t choose just one moment, so they voted for “all of them.” Behind that, 14.5% most enjoyed the scene where Eren showed determination to ensure Historia wouldn’t have to be sacrificed, 13.5% swooned over Eren and Mikasa’s blushy glances at each other, and 11.9% most enjoyed Connie and Sasha’s increasingly awkward conversation about who’s the bigger idiot. 

I loved the Erehisu moments 

sasha and connie <3<3<3

Erehisu canon

MAPPA DIDN’T INCLUDE THE PART OF THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ZEKE AND KIYOMI WHERE ZEKE EXPLAINS HIS PARENTAGE, WHY HE SOLD THEM OUT, AND CLAIMS THAT HE’S THE “TRUE ELDIAN RESTORATIONIST.” THOUGHTS? 192 responses

The conversation between Zeke and Kiyomi got shaved down quite a bit, losing the claim of Zeke being “the true Eldian restorationist.” 30.7% aren’t sweating about it and feel it’s something that will be included in a later episode. 27.6% feel that it’s removal isn’t a big deal. 18.7%, on the other hand, feel that losing that moment watered down Zeke’s characterization and would have preferred its inclusion. 8.9% don’t care. 

I feel it will be brought up next episode

I think leaving it out makes the moment with ksaver telling him to sacrifice his parents more impactful to the anime onlies.  

they may have prepared an anime original scene where this is explained, probably at some point. this chapter was loaded with tons of info

I think everything zeke is going to be saved for his big flashback after losing to levi

Maybe they'll include it at the part where Zeke has his flashbacks when he was injured by Levi.

MAPPA ALSO LEFT OUT THE PART OF THE 104TH’S CONVERSATION WHERE ARMIN THEORIZES THAT EREN WOULD BE IN CONTROL OF THE COORDINATE ONCE HE AND ZEKE MAKE CONTACT. THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT? 185 responses

Another dialogue that was axed this episode was Armin brainstorming about who would be in control of the Founding Titan if Eren and Zeke make contact with each other. 35.7% (a small jump from the previous question) feel that this, again, will be included in a later episode. 28.1% feel that its inclusion wasn’t wholly necessary. 18.4% feel that this fact was already obvious anyway, so it doesn’t matter. 10.4% feel that the anime will get to that point so quickly that the exposition isn’t necessary to begin with. 

Armin's motives don't necessarily change either way so I'm fine with the cut. I do hope it's mentioned later on though.

Every episode is only 25 minutes long, so some parts of dialogues need to be removed. 

I honestly think they're going to retcon this so zeke's reverse uno in chap 120 doesn't seem so wild

I do understand that they need to make cuts (and there's still to many manga chapters to fit in the rest of the season) but that one was really important bc they might not explain it fully later on

If they animate Zeke's backstory, it will be there. It would've been nice to show Armin still using his brain though.

DO YOU THINK EREN SEEMED MORE INTIMIDATING IN THE MANGA OR THE ANIME? 191 responses

Manbun Eren was introduced as being intimidating, cold, and generally mean. His outburst at Hange was the first of many examples of this behavior as he lashed out at them for having no good ideas. 65.4% of respondents felt that MAPPA did a much better job at portraying Eren as a much more intimidating figure than Isayama did.

IN RETROSPECT, DO YOU FEEL THAT EREN WAS TOO HARSH ON HANGE? 190 responses

Almost a total opposite from the previous pie graph, 66.3% of respondents felt that Eren was much too harsh on Hange, given the circumstances and their dwindling options.

DO YOU THINK THAT, EVEN AFTER READING CHAPTER 123, PARADIS COULD HAVE FOUND ANOTHER WAY TO RESOLVE THEIR ISSUES THAN THE PATH THAT EREN TOOK? 191 responses

One of the constant questions in the manga since the timeskip is “could there been another way?” 59.7% think it’s just a solid maybe, and that there’s no longer any way to know that now that Eren has stripped Paradis of all their options. 23.6% feel that the rumbling was the inevitable outcome against a world that would never give them a chance. 14.1% feel the opposite, however, and believe there was always another way, and that Eren didn’t give them enough time to figure it out. 

I wonder what would happen if eren talked about his future memories 

There is always another way than violence. The problem is that no one on Paradis was able to find it.

Maybe we will find out in the last 2 chapters, this might be correlated to a possible "the mist" ending that Isayama originally planned

Who even knows? All I know is that there was too much distrust, secrecy and mystery for anyone to get anything done before shit hit the fan and now here we are. I also think it was a huge mistake to keep Eren so isolated.

There's no good way and never only on path but eren choose one who solve the problem

WE’RE GONNA ASK THIS… WHO IS THE FATHER? 196 responses

The never ending debate of who the father of Historia’s child hasn’t slowed down since the introduction of her pregnancy, though the question has ultimately boiled down to whether the child is Eren’s or not. Only 33.2% of respondents seem to think so. 28.1% presumably feel that it’s not Eren, but are overall tired of this debate in general. 21.4% are firm in their stance that it’s the farmer. 13.8% just wish it had anything to do with Ymir and nothing to do with the other options. 

I’m tired of this whole damn debate... but it's the farmer

LEVI SEEMED MORE VISIBLY IRRITATED ABOUT HOW TALL THE 104TH HAVE GOTTEN IN THE ANIME. THOUGHTS? 192 responses

MAPPA animated this scene with their own take and made Levi more irritable in the anime adaptation than he appeared to be in the manga. Generally, half of respondents felt that both ways were effective and funny. 25.5% seem to enjoy MAPPA’s rendition of it more, while 18.2% prefer the original manga portrayal of Levi’s grievances.

THE TRAIN SCENE WHERE EREN CONFESSES TO HIS FRIENDS IS TREASURED BY MUCH OF THE FANDOM. DID MAPPA DO IT JUSTICE? 193 responses

For fans of the 104th in particular, this scene has felt like it’s taken 84 years to finally be animated. And very few were disappointed, with 56.5% stating that the scene was cute and they are content with it, and another 36.8% showing a little more enthusiasm, feeling that it was more beautifully done than they ever could have imagined. A handful felt it could have been better, but was still good, or just didn’t care. No one agreed that the scene was ruined.

DARK!CONNIE RETURNS! WHO DID HIM BETTER? 190 responses

Another highly anticipated moment… the return of Dark!Connie! MAPPA didn’t quite hit the mark on this one, with Connie’s aura in the manga still being much more preferable to manga readers than the way MAPPA portrayed him in the anime.

WHEN CHAPTER 108 WAS PUBLISHED, READERS WERE ASKED IF EREN STILL PRIORITIZED HIS FRIENDS. AT THAT TIME, THE MAJORITY BELIEVED THAT HE DID, ALTHOUGH THE LARGER HALF OF THAT MAJORITY FELT IT WAS TO A LESSER DEGREE THAN BEFORE THE TIMESKIP. WE’D LIKE TO ASK AGAIN, DO YOU THINK THAT EREN ULTIMATELY TOOK THIS PATH OF DESTRUCTION BECAUSE HE PRIORITIZES HIS FRIENDS? 190 responses

Overall, the majority of the fanbase believe that Eren’s actions are generally in the interest of his friends and their lifespan, though to varying degrees (38.4% feel he prioritizes them wholly above all else, while 34.7% feel that he prioritizes them, but to a lesser degree than he used to). 21.1% still think that Eren’s contradictory actions make it hard to come to a solid conclusion on this front. A handful feel that Eren has abandoned them completely and only cares about himself and his own freedom at this point. 

I want to believe that hes prioritizing his friends, but too many of his actions contradict that, like forcing them into the battle in liberio and sending titans after the alliance 

Eren wasn't able to save his mother and this fact still torments him. I think that his friends matter to him a lot, but there is something darker in him what causes all the mess he is doing. 

He’s selfish and doing whatever he wants.

DO YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE THAT EREN PUSHED HIS FRIENDS TO THE FRONT LINES BECAUSE HE ALREADY SAW IN HIS FUTURE MEMORIES THAT THEY WOULD STOP HIM, THUS KNOWING THEY WOULD NOT DIE? 188 responses

When chapter 108 was published, we hadn’t yet learned that Eren saw memories of the future and so we couldn’t speculate on such a thing. Now that we can, we thought we would ask. 42.6% believe that regardless of whether Eren saw his friends in those memories or not, Mikasa is correct in her belief that Eren simply trusted them to survive. 33% feel that he already knew that they would survive, which is the only reason why he dragged them to Liberio in the first place. 18.6% don’t want to say either way, and a small percentage believe Eren had no way of knowing about the fate of his friends. 

He said "I HOPE they will have happy long lives". It means he didn't see much.

WILL WE SEE THE WARRIORS + MAGATH AND COLT NEXT EPISODE? 187 responses

With things shuffled around, we still have yet to see the Warriors recuperating and planning their next move. Half of the fandom feel that MAPPA was waiting to put the focus back on Gabi and Falco before giving us this moment. 32.1% aren’t sure if we will get it in episode 70 or not. 14.4% think it’s something that will come later, and a tiny fraction think it will be cut entirely.

Need my warriors back

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 193 responses

The largest percentage (48.2%) went to the scene with Hange confronting Floch and the Yeagerists, though it is edged out by both of Gabi and Falco’s preview scenes combined (42% for the visit to the Blouse’s, and 9.8% for their scuffle at the river). 

Can't care less about to gabi and falco, it's the final season cut the filler please.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I miss Sasha

No thoughts, anxiety only. 

Hope to see the cut scenes in the next episode

Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm not so hyped for this season anymore. Sure, I'll still watch all the episodes no matter what, and I don't think Mappa is doing a bad job. But it's just a good adaptation. For the anime-onlys, I'm sure it's great because they're discovering the story we already know, but for me, this season doesn't add much to the manga. I probably had too high expectations for this season... (I'm also watching/reading Jujustsu Kaisen from Mappa and I don't have that feeling at all, so I'm pretty conflicted)

The episode was fine but I had a feeling that it was going a little too fast. However, I'm not complaining because I overally liked it. I could finally see adult Historia. She looks different than her manga counterpart. In the manga she was more mysterious and mature, while in the anime she still has cute baby face. I think that the moment between her and Mikasa was sweet. I feel kinda tired of the whole "who is the father" theories. I think that people waste their energy on fights and debates. If I wasn't part of the fandom, I wouldn't even think of Eren having a child with Historia. They never had romantic relationship and their last conversation was far away from being loving. Eren is an amotional mess. He has never mentioned the child in his POV, he says that his friends and Paradis are the most important, so I will be surprised if all of sudden he turns to be a father.

The lightning around eren when angry at hange was amazing addition (I think it's new) and historias situation feels more real in the anime. (ps: hail ponytail mikasa is bea)

Did a great job imo, but I don't think it's possible to make it anywhere near 122 at this point

Scenes were great as usual. The pacing was a little bit jarring though. I don't know how anime-onlys will take it since we do have different perspectives given our forehand knowledge of the events.

Where's shirtless Reiner??

Good episode, can’t wait for Gabi and Falco’s realization next episode 

I wish everything from the manga could fit into the episode or that the episodes were longer.

There's really no where else I could've put this so I'll just put it here......lol. I feel like it's not as obvious in the anime how much longer Jean's hair has gotten sometimes (specifically during the railroad scene here) and I wish that wasn't the case.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 180 responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! 

[tundrainafrica]

Title: A Free Spot

Summary:  

"While she was still a commander in the midst of a war, she had to shut out all raw emotion while she watched Levi take down titan after titan, as the airship took her further away from where she had wanted to be. She did too good of a job turning off her emotions then and her last memory of Levi had become a free spot in her mind.”

Slight AU! Levi sacrifices himself in Chapter 132 instead of Hange and Hange deals with the consequences years later.

Written for @levihanweek  Angstober 2020. Prompt: Free Spot

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Notes:

A part of me felt like Levi should have gone instead of Hange. That is, if one of them had to go. I'd still rather they both lived and got their happily ever after 

I’m in the middle of writing for the greetings and farewell prompt but it's really just not looking to good rn so I'd rather not share it for now. Hopefully, I manage to get the motivation to finish it up. I’m probably gonna write some fluff and domestic Levihan after this. These prompts are just too heavy haha. 

Either way, I had so much fun writing for angstober. I hope you enjoy and do tell me what you think!

You know Levi, it feels like my time has come. I want to act as cool as possible so let me go out like this...

It had been two years since the rumbling had stopped for good. Eren was dead. The Eldians and Marleyans had established a peace treaty and the survey corps was declared redundant, replaced with a special defense squad.

Mikasa and Armin willingly took over what was left of building the defense-oriented military. Having seen enough violence and loss to last a lifetime, one soldier slowly and quietly stepped down.

That one soldier helped build what became the new city of Paradis, but still felt the burden of responsibility. Disappearing from society and retiring to some farmland on the outskirts of central Paradis felt wrong although tempting.

That soldier had seen things first hand that most people would never experience, so it was easy to take on a job as a teacher. This was especially since most Eldians did not want a repeat of the last war and who better to teach the future generation than one who had experienced it at the front ranks.

The subjects taught were easy to pick up.

Math. Science. Languages. History.

Most kids would end up mastering the basics anyway and that was more than enough for most jobs. What most people from both sides had failed to master though, was how to empathize and how to critically think. They failed to learn how to talk things through or how to question orders.

How to talk things through. How to question orders.

That was what motivated the soldier-turned-teacher, to supplement lessons with anecdotes from the Survey Corps days. It was like living in one's dreams again. The anecdotes before and after lessons kept the students entertained and it also kept the memory of one important person alive.

Three months into the lesson, one of the students had turned out to be more invested than the others and had raised her hand in the middle of one of their story times.

"Did you marry Levi?"

Maybe the former commander did get carried away.

"The soldier I mean. The one in your stories,"  the young girl clarified.

“Lena, you shouldn’t have asked that,” another student muttered.

Lena jumped up and bowed her head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry… You always got so excited when you talked about him that I thought…"

Hange only realized then that for a second she had not moved from her spot. She put a hand to her face to see that it was wet. She hastily looked back at the blackboard and wiped her face with the collar of her sweater.

"What would make you think we married?" She managed to ask as she looked back at the young student. Most of the kids in the room were roughly twelve to thirteen years old. At that point, she was still figuring out what could be mentioned and what couldn't to a bunch of preteens.

Lena blushed. "My big sister talked about her boyfriend like that and now they're married."

"Well that story could wait another time. It looks like classes are done for the day." The teacher quickly gathered up her learning materials into one messy pile on the table, thanking whatever god existed for the timing of that question at least.

Some students protested but the teacher did not budge. The latter looked back again at the blackboard as she listened to the students pack up their things and file out of the classrooms.

As soon as the last student left, Hange quickly closed the door behind her, slid on the floor and buried her face on her hands.

Why are you crying? It's been fucking years.

She slammed the floor with her fists, letting the pain that shook through her wrists, act as punishment for that random bout of emotion.

How many stories has she told them?

They had started off as stories detailing the lives of the survey corps members who had given their lives to fight a war fueled by the hate of two nations. Somehow, the stories had shifted to her own relationships. She had talked about Moblit and Erwin, the values they had upheld for the greater good of humanity.

How had she described him for the students to think they married?

Before she knew it, she had started to talk about the strongest soldier with ironically, the most unwavering regard for human life.The one soldier who was probably capable of taking down fifty soldiers without so much as a scratch was the same soldier who would ask her privately after meetings, if she could think of a better plan which would cost less lives than the one they had thought up just a while ago. He was a soldier who would always voted on alternatives that could preserve more lives.

At that point, Hange could not even recall what words she used or what tone she kept. She started to treat those story times she promised the students after every lesson as a reprieve, a way to just imagine once again the past that she had missed, and the memory that made her relax the most was that of Levi.

It had been three months since she started teaching. She guessed that she had probably started bringing him up after the first month. It had occurred to her until that moment that she had never really implied his actual fate.

Did she talk about him in present tense?

Did she say something to make them think that he had survived?

You know Levi, it feels like my time has come. I want to act as cool as possible so let me go out like this…

Her chest constricted as she remembered how she felt saying those words. At that moment she thought she was going to die.

How to question orders. How to talk things through.

Levi had never questioned her orders or tried to talk things through in public, in fear of undermining her position.  At that moment, right in front of everyone, Levi had said, "No. You're the commander. They need you out in the field. I'm not letting you die."

He had made a good point as he prepared his gear. Although he was humanity's strongest soldier at that time, he had become a little more than deadweight due to recent injuries. Either way, everyone had enough fate in his skills then, to know that even with those injuries, he'd still have enough power to take down a few titans and buy them some time to launch the ship.

While she was still a commander in the midst of a war, she had to shut out all raw emotion while she watched Levi take down titan after titan, as the airship took her further away from where she had wanted to be. She did too good of a job turning off her emotions then and her last memory of Levi had become a free spot in her mind.

Levi is alive. Levi exists in all nighters back in the office. He exists in the late nights in the forest, injured and half asleep.

As she allowed herself to relive that moment of two years ago, the only moment Levi blatantly disobeyed orders, the dam of emotions she had kept closed somewhere inside her started to flow free. She poked a few holes into it, allowing herself a few tears as she carried herself home.

It felt like it took ages but Hange finally found herself inside her empty apartment. She locked the door behind her and slid down once again on the cold wooden floor. She neglected to turn on the lights. The darkness that slowly swallowed the room as the sun started to set, only reminded her that she was alone, alone to her own devices and her own thoughts.

Levi existed before but now he is dead.

The free spot in her mind started to disappear, replaced by what should have been the raw emotion at seeing him burn and fall into the deep ocean. The grief came in large waves and Hange drowned in the emotions she had failed to release a year ago.

She called in sick the next morning and the day after and she sat alone on her bed, only standing up to eat or use the bathroom.

By what seemed to be the fourth day, it was as if she were floating. The waves had receded and she was left to survey for any damage.

Did you marry him? Another burning question came up from within her.

Hange rephrased it, given her present circumstances. Would I have married him?

Would marrying him have meant experiencing a continuation to those late night trainings as new soldiers?

Would it have meant a sequel to those late night conversations in the commander's office over tea?

Would it have meant someone welcoming her home every night after a long day’s work?

Would it have meant someone would be sitting beside her at that moment, hugging her, while she was too paralyzed by emotion to even get up?

Hange shook as she tried to imagine how it felt like again to be hugged. She knew she could have easily called someone, Mikasa, maybe Armin for a little company. Levi though was the last one she felt completely comfortable crying to, the last person she had ever shown complete vulnerability to.

And without him, she was alone.  

The cruel truth was that that memory of Levi alive had overpowered her memory of his death. That sudden realization came as the memory once again became vivid, at a time where she had no more responsibilities of keeping soldiers alive in the midst of a battle.

Hange kicked her side table and watched as it toppled over, her belongings spilling out from underneath. She smashed her chair on top of the side table then the flower vase on the dresser.

The crown and the military had given her enough compensation to replace everything and that small afterthought was what only fueled her motivation to just release the pent up emotions. Everyone she had ever lost died for them anyway.

She went for the dresser to the side of the door and pulled out the drawers one by one, spilling out the contents on the floor before smashing them into the pile of remains of the furniture she had broken only a while ago.

She stopped at the third drawer when she saw the familiar green cloak and the wings of freedom insignia. At Levi’s last moments, she was wearing his cloak since she had expected to be the one to go.

As she spread out his cloak on the floor, she smelled traces of the familiar odor of titan’s blood. A year cooped up in the drawer had preserved the original scent. She buried her face on it and started to make out the scent of blood and sweat. At a certain point, she also made out the traces as well of the scent of old wood. The cloak had also started to adjust to the new world with no titans.

She threw the cloak on her still intact bed and sat cross legged on the floor.

Am I the only one who hasn’t moved on?  She let out a burst of laughter, and sprawled on the cold wooden floor.

The Titans are gone. The Survey Corps is gone. Everyone is dead. He’s dead.

                                              Free Spot

In total, Hange took a week out of work. She used that extra time to clean up and apologize to her neighbors after that breakdown.

Surprisingly, most of them had been understanding. Hange though did not want to use the excuse of being a shell shocked soldier to be a bother to anyone and had compensated all those who lived closest to her.

When she finally showed up back to the classroom, she was surprised to see all the students on their seats as if they had expected her to be back that day.

Of course, the substitute probably told them.

“You’re surprisingly behaved today.” Hange commented as she emptied her book bag on the table.

It was Lena who came out from behind her desk with a box and placed it on the teacher’s table.

“We heard you got really sick for a while so we got you a present which could maybe help you stay healthy,” she explained, still looking apologetic.

“Thank you.” Hange blushed as she started to untie the bow and opened the box underneath. Hange fought back a wave of nostalgia and the stinging sensation in her eyes as she opened the box to find a tea set, complete with a bag of black tea on the side.

“My dad told me tea is good for the body,” one student volunteered.

Hange put one hand to her mouth, as she felt her lips tremble. A part of her wanted to laugh and a part of her wanted to cry. She had told them enough stories to keep them busy for months but she had never mentioned tea. It was an irrelevant detail in the grand scheme of things, of course she wouldn’t. “He liked black tea. We spent a lot of our free time talking over tea,” she admitted as she traced the rim of the tea cup, holding it the same way she had seen him hold it countless times before.

For a second, Lena looked panicked. “I’m sorry we didn’t mean to… You don’t have to talk about it anymore. ”

“No. It was my fault. I’m sorry.” She stood up and put her hand on the head of the young girl. “It looks like everyone pretty much guessed what happened to that soldier huh?” She smiled, keeping her tone deliberately light.

A lot of the students kept a sullen look and Hange was sure someone had explained it to them or at the least, they had picked it up on their own.

“Well, that’s the reality of war. A lot of the soldiers don’t get to marry and have kids. Just so that everyone here could live in peace.”

That night, Hange emptied the contents of the gift box on her kitchen table.

Levi would have liked the tea set. Hange thought to herself as she allowed the black tea leaves to boil on the kettle. The smell of the black tea wafted through the air and Hange closed her eyes as she allowed herself to be brought back again to those many nights when he was the one who would serve her a cup of warm tea.

Did I add too much water? Did I add too much black leaves? Would he be disappointed?

She poured the contents of the kettle into the cup and watched the tea leaves settle to the bottom of the cup.

She positioned her hands on top of the teacup, attempting to hold the cup just like he used to. The heat right on top of the boiling water, almost scalded her palm and Hange gave up after a few tries.

I never really understood how you did it.

The warm malty taste of black tea in her mouth was nostalgic. Hange only realized then that she had unknowingly abandoned this luxury right after the war. It was as if her subconscious had been protecting her from a breakdown just like the one she just had.

The smell and the taste of black tea had always been about Levi who was long gone by then. As she caressed the intricate linings of the cup though, she also started to think of the efforts of the students who had thought up the present and saved up for it.

She looked back at the memories leading up to his sacrifice at the hands of the colossal titans. The pain was still there but it was far from excruciating. It was bittersweet. Somehow, she did not need to delude herself anymore. She just had to let that bundle of emotions and memories within her untangle themselves.

Levi was gone. To Hange though, he was still alive.

He was alive in the black tea she had allowed herself to enjoy once again.

He was alive in the anecdotes she had told her class in between lessons.

He was alive in every single person who was alive because of his sacrifice.

It’s the living who give meaning to the soldiers’ deaths. It's the living who keep the dead alive.

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 130 Thoughts

My opening joke is going to be a brief description of Historia’s circumstances, because it requires no creative energy on my part to make it a joke.

To review!

107 introduces the concept of Historia being a breeding factory. This is suggested as part of Zeke’s 50-year plan to establish Paradis without it being genocided to death. At the end of 107, present-day Historia is shown to be pregnant.

At the very beginning of 108, the Military Police openly discuss how this is kind of weird. And while the mood is largely in favor of Historia having children so the Founding Titan stays in Paradis control, she’s having a child at a very inconvenient time for everyone, because she’s supposed to eat Zeke before he can cause trouble.

In 114, it is revealed that Zeke’s actual plan is to sterilize all Eldians so they die off and stop being a problem. By virtue of five seconds of pondering, this falls apart when you consider that Zeke’s plan is the beginning of Historia being prepped to breed children. Having any royal children would actively interfere with Zeke’s ability to guarantee that his choices for the Founding Titan would be the last.

In 130, Historia is shown to still be going along with the 50-year concept, and no one is stopping her except Eren, who is against Zeke’s sterilization plan (which a child would stop), and who says that Historia making this kind of choice is what’s driving him to genocide.

To which Historia suggests a baby.

-draws a line back to 107-

-underlines Eren’s angry feelings about all of this-

This would make sense if it were live action and the actress were pregnant.

Not within the story or anything.

But an explanation would at least exist.

I should take up drinking. Or cocaine. Or something.

There’s virtually zero content this chapter. Half of it is just Eren going on rampage. This is how you know it’s the end of a volume for a story that’s ending. The subtle ways the story beats come firing at a machine gun’s pace before slowing to a deliberately controlled crawl.

Surprise, Liberio’s no longer a factor!

-surprised Pikachu faces-

-everyone officially burnt out on violence-

-except Eren-

-this is a problem because Eren is indeed causing the most violence, and violence would probably be a great help in stopping him, so having someone on that boat thinking they should just fucking stab him would be just a little encouraging that’s all I’m saying-

Then we dash straight into a slightly more visible flashback to Eren’s memories of the future being unlocked, and get to the development of his genocide plan.

It isn’t much of a plan.

It mostly still involves genocide.

But worse.

He’s basically going to do what Karl did, only when he tells people on Paradis that all the humans beyond their borders are dead, he won’t be lying. He is keeping the genocide and the mind-wiping, though. In this spirit of how well that worked out previously.

This is a choice.

A bad one.

Even by Eren’s current standards.

This is especially impressive given that he has none.

Alrighty then. Uh.

Here we have Eren’s mission statement. That’s nice?

“The only way to put a final end to the cycle of revenge born from hate... is to remove that history of hate from this world and bury it in the ground, civilization and all.”

Legitimately, Eren’s entire plan amounts to, “The First King was right about everything except not actually making us the last humans alive on the planet.”

See, Zeke’s plan of killing all Eldians off is evil and bad, and Eren is disgusted at the very idea of going along with it.

Eren’s plan of killing everyone else off, regardless of who they are, is a good one.

As is manipulating all of his friends into following it, telling them he hates them, fairly directly letting one of them know this is basically all her fault, and.

.

Look, I’m sorry, but what the fuck?

I mean.

Fuck, do I have to go full Madoka on main?

Here is a brief summary of the third Madoka Magica movie, for those who do not understand the reference: Person who has spent her entire life torturing herself to save one girl feels like she didn’t save the one girl hard enough, and compensates for this mental breakdown by turning into the literal Devil.

These are decisions that can be explained by trauma. The character in question has been through a lot, and arguing that she’s too emotionally stable to undo the universe is harder to do than it feels like it should be.

She still takes the established order of the series and 90% of the movie and drops it in the shredder, leaving the characters who are around and aware of this move to stare, aghast, as the new world order is established.

To catch up the uninitiated, when the new world order is established in the series, it’s a happy ending that ties up all the struggles everyone has been through. Not necessarily neatly, but they’re honored, and the cast continues on.

The new world order of the movie is one character screaming “NO” in various cries for help as she pounds her heart into the pavement and the pavement is everyone else’s quality of life.

..

Anyway, the current reason everyone on the planet hates Paradis enough to attack it is because Eren publicly murdered civilians at a festival with international significance, including the one Eldian in the world with good publicity.

Things weren’t pretty for anyone, but Eren snatches the ball out of the court and throws it into the backyard with vicious guard dogs. He decides to bring everyone into a war, and he decides the initial terms. He makes a violent declaration, and ever since, the story has been devoted to people catching up to him to ask what the fuck his problem is.

As opposed to the usual routine of catching up to him to steal him back from whoever’s kidnapping him that week.

Eren’s the direct cause of this mess.

Fucking Marley doesn’t help, what with their hundred years of brainwashing and titanizing to actively keep the hate of Paradis alive -- but Eren’s the one who turns it into an issue of national immediacy when everyone around him is trying to find more time.

All the while going, “look what you made me do”

Right.

Where it breaks down for me isn’t that it makes no sense for Eren to have fallen this far. This entire series has been destroying him one piece at a time, and I do feel like you could have a very powerful conclusion with Humanity’s Hope turning to Humanity’s Despair, and the people he once inspired having to bear the torch themselves instead of forcing one person to carry their entire future.

Hell, that could still happen. I would still love an ending where Mikasa wraps the scarf around Eren, and he’s finally saved from himself.

What’s aggravating is that as many ominous hints as we’ve gotten about Eren’s monstrous nature throughout the series, there’s just as much material of him loving his friends, and wanting them to be free and happy, and understanding that walls aren’t the only prison.

Angry Eren the Rage Boy is there. He’s even easy to understand, sometimes. OG Ymir’s history inspires a desire for death and destruction. It would be and is wrong, but the impulse isn’t difficult to parse.

He’s more than that. He stays up all night listening to Hange’s theories. Armin’s dreams of the sea catches his mind like wildfire. Fighting Annie even after she’s revealed to be someone who’s ruthlessly murdered his comrades is painful. He wants to believe Reiner and Bertolt are innocent even when they’re making the worst show of hiding it. He smiles every time he sees his friends genuinely happy.

Eren’s rage has always been a direct response to his views of the world. The slavers are monsters. He has no problem killing them. Titans are monsters. He wants them dead. He runs off in Trost and gets his leg chomped off because he’s so upset that a bit character we barely spend time with is being eaten.

“When we’re born... all of us... are free. People who reject that, no matter how strong they are... don’t matter.”

Since leaving his friends in Marley, Eren has rejected the freedom of every single one of them. He doesn’t tell them what he’s up to, but expects them to have his back. He pushes events into motion that nearly lead to all their deaths. He actively lies to Mikasa about how her brain functions. He tells Historia to get on board or have her memory wiped.

The rage and agony and helplessness Eren feels isn’t particularly strange, in my mind. He hasn’t coped with any of the manga’s arcs well, and the few victories he’s been part of have landed him in worse and worse places, emotionally.

The conclusions he’s reaching don’t work.

It isn’t that strange for people to not realize that they’re contradicting themselves, especially when they’re in this frame of mind, but Eren loves his damn friends.

Meanwhile, he’d find it easier to take if Mikasa were attached to him because her bloodline made her do it, but that’s.

Actually, no, that’s relevant.

Eren suggests plot magic chemistry before he considers that Mikasa actually loves him.

He’s a dying man.

He’s condemned himself already. It doesn’t matter what he does, as long as his friends are alive. Anything else -- everything else is secondary. They’ll be alive, and he’ll be dead, and it’s as simple as that.

But it isn’t like he doesn’t know right from wrong. This might be a wrong he can accept on his deathbed, but it’s undeniably wrong.

How horrific is it that people might be so attached to him that he can do all this, and they’ll still fight for him instead of putting him down like the monster he is?

Eren struggles with greys. If he’s willing to be the bad guy, it makes sense for him to commit. He’s rejecting freedom, so by his own rules, he doesn’t matter.

It would be so much easier for him if everyone else agreed on that point.

He seems to be doing what he can to make that happen.

...But that’s just whimsical speculation born of profound pity more than anything. I still have trouble figuring out what his deal is. He’s eviscerating his friends in the name of them surviving, but he still terms his want as them having “long, happy lives.” While actively interfering with both those aims.

This chapter doesn’t seem to leave much room for a secret other plan that Eren is secretly putting into action. That’s been my hope from the beginning, and pretty much every bit of my confusion here is why. The majority of the conflict here comes from Eren deliberately fucking things up. It’s like he accidentally poisoned a bunch of people by using the wrong chemicals to clean up the dead body of the person he killed who totally deserved it, and figured the best following response was to repeat the process.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the Eren we’re starting to see looks broken beyond all repair, and we’re missing the breaking point. We can puzzle out possibilities and trauma, but at the end of the day he has chosen such a destructive route that it needs more justification within the story.

Personally, I think that this Eren is buying into his own bad press so completely that he’s stopped giving himself freedom. That is my most established take.

The fact that that read play in nicely with Mikasa wrapping the scarf around him and taking him home has very little to do with that except that’s where my brain spends most of its time now, I guess.

.

.

AND NOW WE’RE BACK TO HISTORIA BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I EVER GET TO HAVE A SINGLE MOMENT OF PEACE.

Hell.

I am tired of going over all the ways in which this does not make sense. I am, perhaps, equally tired of how every single time the pregnancy subplot comes up, it manages to get worse.

‘what oh noooo she’s being used to breed an army of royal babies who will eat their mother’ ‘wait nooo she manipulated a guilty childhood bully into fucking her so zeke could live for some strange reason’ ‘oh nooooooooes it turns out she actually goes and fucks npc farmer guy because zeke needs to live for eren to commit genocide and if she doesn’t let eren commit genocide that’s bad for some reason even if she was just saying it’s actually bad for him to commit genocide’

I.

????

Additionally, I realize this chapter has probably reinvigorated people’s theories that Eren is the father, which. um. continues the trend of being worse, because then you have Historia feeling like she’s backed into a corner where fucking the guy who’s about to commit genocide is her only option because if she can’t come up with some good excuse to not eat Zeke he’s going to wipe her memories.

(ETA: Hours later, I sit here remembering he can’t actually wipe her memories until after Zeke shows up. Oops. ...That somehow manages to make all of this make less sense.)

I deeply do not want to discuss that element.

I’m just bringing it up to establish that every way you spin Historia’s situation is fifty shades of rape, and it’s skeevy as fuck along with making no sense.

Glad to know that in two years, literally nothing has come along to make this better or more logical.

That’s vaguely true because it lends more credence to the idea that it’s all a lie, but at this point, the writing is breaking its own back bending over to try and make this work.

“If there is a most reliable way to make sure that this island lives on... I’ll go along with it. There was no other way... But... you defended me back then... everyone acted for my sake... That’s enough for me.”

I’m going to try to explain my problem with this without screaming.

I’m probably going to fail.

The thing is, Historia’s entire arc is about fighting fate.

Her entire arc is about undoing the cycle of abuse her family has perpetuated, breaking free of it to reclaim her identity as a person and forge a better future for the world.

She almost kills Eren for her father’s approval.

When she doesn’t, her commentary isn’t that it’s wrong, or ineffective (though she’s aware of both these elements).

She makes her case very succinctly.

“God?! What a load of bull!! You’re just saying whatever you can think of to manipulate me and save yourself!! That’s it, I’ve had enough! I won’t let you kill me!!”

Replace “save yourself” with something related to Eren, and we have the exact same plot beat we already had, for a character who’s already gone through it.

Historia’s lack of agency would be bad enough on its own.

The entire focus of the pregnancy subplot has been that it causes Eren angst.

We have not gotten Historia’s thought bubbles.

We have received her verbal compliance.

We have had her misery over her situation on display.

This is something for Eren to feel guilty and angry over, not something for Historia to interact with.

On its own, that’s bad.

When you have it attached to a character whose entire arc is about breaking damaging cycles and living a life designed by her own choices instead of following orders and roles, you have a problem.

Historia never tries to resist this fate. Not that we’re shown. She’s clearly terrified, even in the scene where she staidly offers acceptance, but Eren is the one to speak up. She’s miserable whenever we see her pregnant, but every scene with her involves her sadly going along with this thing she clearly does not want. Even when she asks Eren what he thinks about her having a child, she’s unhappy.

This is the first time she’s gotten dialogue of her own in two years.

The first little bit is her shrugging at her inevitable suffering.

The second bit is being appalled at Eren’s everything.

Then somehow we land at her proposing her inevitable suffering.

Which...

How does that help??? Anything???

My answer to that is that I’m Team Fake Pregnancy, and Historia is proposing a hypothetical thing where she ponders how her having a child would play out, but I’m sorry, what?

Eren’s upset about you losing your bodily autonomy.

Among other things, yes, but having a child you’re not enthusiastic about is the entire fucking ignition point of this fucking fuckening idiocy how is it that NEITHER OF YOU ARE IN POSSESSION OF YOUR SOLITARY BRAIN CELL WHAT IN THE  F U C K.

Even if you read it as Historia not having a child with the intent of future cannibalism, but simply having a child to get out of eating Zeke --

Holy fuck is that not better.

It’s still her feeling forced to have a kid because the alternative is lots of people dying.

She’s nineteen.

At the very fucking least this could have the decency to be her story, not a story built around making the main male lead angst enough to commit genocide. At the time of this writing, we are denied that, and while I don’t think this is totally beyond saving, the story the narrative is selling is inexcusable and insulting. The only room for improvement is if we’re actively being misled.

Which is a valid theory, but that doesn’t change my disgust at what we’re being told to believe.

Having Historia simply accept her fate is a sledgehammer to Historia’s entire character development, and Historia’s character development is a microcosm of the guiding themes of the main story. You can’t dethrone her without the manga’s entire thematic significance ringing false.

Also, while I’m here, Eren’s being a fucking prick.

In case that was somehow missed.

'hi historia friendly reminder that i’m only here to commit genocide because you saved my life because like you said you’re the worst’ ‘lol remember that time you said the titans should just kill everyone and i teased you and you said you were caught up in the heat of the moment well guess what i listened to you and everyone’s gonna die thx for the protips’

Anyway.

This is either really good or really bad.

Because Historia does some very stupid things. That is not a writing flaw, it’s a character flaw and feature. She’s impulsive and dumb and realizes things conflict with her principles nine steps into committing criminally negligent homicide, and if that’s how this is all justified...

Hell, I guess I’ll just be tired. Which I already am, so that’s. fine.

It’s funny. This is one of the times I could have gotten away with writing barely anything, since half the chapter is just trailer shots for Eren’s monster movie. Yet here we are, many words in.

I’ve thought a lot today on if I should keep reading or not. One of the things that got under my skin is that I’ve spent a long time coming up with ways for this all to turn out okay. I complain a lot, and certainly lose my temper, but I like to think I stick around because however bad this gets, I have faith that the story’s thesis is that beauty wins against cruelty.

If that’s the case, I want to be here to see it through. I want that high of things being okay when all signs point to nothing ever being okay again.

But it’s been a long day, and I’ve spent two years split between anger and hope that I’m not sure if I feel because I trust the story or if it’s become a habit I’m afraid to break.

Or if it’s because if I did give up, I’d feel insanely guilty for any of the times I’ve tried cheering people up over the bleak things going on in the manga.

I want this to be a happier story than anyone I know thinks it will turn out. I’m an optimist to a degree that people tolerate, but don’t find particularly realistic when gauged against the content.

The main character is on a genocidal march in the name of friends he has broken and betrayed. Friends who can still barely vocalize the option of putting him down.

I don’t know if I want to be here for this.

I don’t think I need to watch more cruelty unfold, no matter how much beauty survives it.

[gamerwoo]

Wonwoo: Achilles Info

a/n: since a few people have asked if they need to know anything about attack on titan to read achilles (the answer is yes) but haven’t watched the show or have no interest in watching/catching up, here’s a big info dump to kind of explain a little bit more so y’all can better understand the plot (THERE WILL BE AOT SPOILERS ~OBVIOUSLY~ SO IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING OR CATCHING UP THEN DON’T READ THIS OR ACHILLES!!!)

Achilles Masterlist

Titans

Titans are essentially giant humanoid creatures that eat humans. Most of them are mindless, but some act more abnormal and are therefore called “abnormals” or “abnormal titans”. The only way to kill a titan is to slice the nape of their neck a certain way. Later in the series, it’s revealed that all titans are just regular humans who became titans.

The Scouts

The scout regiment/survey core/survey corps are one of three branches of basically military (the other two being the garrison regiment who basically just take care of the walls, and the military police who live in the innermost wall and just serve the king. the military police is basically the easiest/coziest branch but it’s not an option for just anybody). They go outside the walls to survey the area and try to learn more about what’s beyond their knowledge. I might mention their uniforms in the au from time to time so you might wanna look it up if you wanna know what it looks like (especially the ODM gear bc that shit is really crazy lmao)

Paradis

This is the island where the majority of Attack on Titan takes place. There are 3 walls build up to protect the people from the titans, and nobody had traveled outside the outer wall until I think season 3?? Up until I believe the end of season 3, nobody was sure if there was even a world outside the 3 walls built up, but they discovered a beach and an ocean. Paradis is where the Marleyans send some of the Eldians who have gone against the law or need to be punished in an extreme way. They essentially ship them off to the island, climb the wall by the beach, and will turn a bunch of the Eldians into titans before throwing a few Eldians as humans over the wall so they can watch them get eaten. They claim the Eldians on Paradis are even worse than the Eldians who live in Marley, and the Eldians from Marley have been brainwashed to hate the people of Paradis, calling them “devils” and blaming them for all of their bad reputation. Achilles takes place on Paradis.

Eldians/Eldia

Eldia was an empire founded 2000 years ago by the first person to discover how to turn humans into titans (a woman named Ymir who I believe was the first ever titan). The Eldians are also known as “Subjects of Ymir”. Eldia also contained other people who were not Eldian, but only the Eldians could turn into titans. Ymir ruled over this empire with nine noble families who had the power of the Shifting Titans (I just call them “special titans” in Achilles). With the power of the titans, the Eldians were able to conquer most of the world, and notably, the Kingdom of Marley. Reader/Yn is half Eldian, but because Marleyans look down on Eldians, they don’t consider her Marleyan and treat her like any other Eldian.

Marleyans/Marley

The Kingdom of Marley is across the sea from the island of Paradis. According to the Marleyans, the Eldians were horrible people who essentially enslaved the other ethnicities back when they conquered most of the world, and killed three times the world’s population. But nobody actually knows if this is true or not, but Marleyans teach this in their schools and have brainwashed Eldians to believe they’re awful people. The Eldians still reside on Marley, but the Marleyans make them live in a gated area and treat them poorly. Eldians are also forced to wear armbands to show they’re an Eldian, and will be punished if they’re not wearing one. Marleyans only keep Eldians around because of their ability to shift into titans. That comes in handy for war. Reader/Yn comes from Marley and is half Marleyan.

The Special Titans

There are nine special titans that are the: founding titan, colossal titan, beast titan, armored titan, attack titan, cart titan, jaw titan, female titan, and war hammer titan. I recommend just looking up each titan and what they look like/do because it’s a little difficult to describe. Some are self explanatory like colossal (just a really fucking big titan) and armored (basically just has......armor lmao), but the cart titan is a little strange, and the war hammer is kind of complex. To become a special titan, an Eldian must be given a special shot to become a titan, and then they have to eat the person who holds the power of the special titan. So for example, in the au, Soonyoung wants to become the next female titan. To do so, he’d have to eat the person who already has the ability, which is Jiwoo. The special titans are able to shift to a titan and back to their human form, but regular titans are not.

a/n: i hope these helped clear up some stuff. i do recommend looking up titans and the special titans just to get an idea of what they are/look like. but if anyone has any other questions, feel free to send them and i’ll do my best to answer!!

[masteroftheblade]

What are your favorite and least favorite animes? Why do you like/dislike them?

oh god here we go lmao 🤠👍 prepare for an entire novel as always lol

my favorite animes atm are Naruto, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, and Claymore. Overall, my favorite genre of anime is shonen (and in case you dont know what that is, its basically shows that are marketed to young boys. it'll have shit like superpowers and poorly written female characters). My least favorite genre is Shoujo (marketed at young girls). I honestly don't hate the entire genre, I just hate how much romance is in there since im pretty romance-repulsed. If there were more Shoujo series like Claymore, I'd probably be in love w/ it. I'll start talking about these shows individually, starting w/ Naruto.

1. Naruto.

Honestly, the only reason I started watching Naruto was because my friends peer pressured me into doing it, and it actually differed from what I expected it to be story-wise. The beginning of the show started off amazing; it had excellent world building, magic systems, interesting characters, and it attempted to address how messed up the whole shinobi system is. But then Naruto got on the front page of Shonen Jump, and everything went down from there. It started to focus more on cool fight scenes than the actual plot. I wont get too much into that, because you can literally find entire blogs dedicated to dissecting that, but Naruto killed itself w/ its own popularity. That said, I love the characters and world building and I can look past most of its flaws anyway.

Would I recommend reading/watching it? Yes, but only to say you did it for bragging rights. Don't go into watching Naruto if you want deep looks into imperialism and militarized governments, because you will get the complete opposite of that :P Also the best way to watch it is to watch it with friends.

2. Dragon Ball.

I only started watching DB about a month ago, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think its a garbage series. The fight scenes have little to no weight to them, because no matter what, the protagonist of that episode will always succeed in some way. For example, when Goku (a 12 y/o boy) was fighting Giran (a 10ft tall godzilla man) and was getting his ass beat until Goku just... randomly grows back his tail that was cut off earlier and wins. We are never told why he grew back his tail, and i think he only gets it back so he can have a cool fight scene in a later episode. Goku can literally be battling genocidal gods and he will still always win. The show also goes out of its way to sexualize/show a female character being harrassed. Every. Fucking. Episode.

That said, it is a fun show, and I really enjoy watching it. Like Naruto, I really love the characters and the world they are in, I just hate the way it was handled, and its painfully obvious that DB was made by a bunch of old men in the 80s. Unlike Naruto, however, I really appreciate how simple it is. It doesn't force a narrative about space genocide or whatever being bad, and I'm very thankful because that kind of narrative would be absolutely botched in this kind of series. It's also nice to have a show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Shows like AOT are amazing and important, but those shows can be overwhelming with their heavy subject matter. I would only recommend watching DB if you want to see some really good art/character design. Don't take the show seriously, and you'll have a good time.

3.Attack On Titan.

This anime was actually the first I've ever seen! I saw the very first episode when it aired in 2014, so I'm definetely biased in that regard, but I still try to look at this show in the most objective way I can. This show does almost everything right. The pacing, the characters, the art, the plot, you name it. It takes a concept that looks silly on paper and turns it into this grueling story about war, politics, and the trauma of being a soldier. It never treats it's characters like they're only one-dimensional, or like they are there just for one purpose only. These characters feel human in a way Naruto and Dragon Ball could never be. But there is one thing that has me concerned about this show, and its about the weirdly anti-Semitic undertones it has.

You probably heard the controversy already, but it really effected the way people on the outside of the fandom view the series. The show is heavily inspired by European culture, specifically that of Germany, and there are an ethnic group of people called The Eldians in the show that are pretty anti-Semitic in this kind of setting. The Eldian people have the capability of turning into Titans, and the Titans are what divided the world and killed millions. As a result, another group of people started doing the shit the Nazis did to Jewish people, basically making the Eldians into this weird allegory for the holocaust??? Which was kind of a shock to me when I first realized that was the angle they were going for. I genuinely did not expect that considering what the series started off as. The foreshadowing is there and all, I just didn't think they'd use real-world events as inspiration.

Now, this actually has the complete opposite problem Naruto and DB had. Naruto and DB had amazing ideas and concepts that went to shit, AOT's whole holocaust narrative was trash from the beginning.

The show could have easily had a different kind of social/political commentary without even going near the holocaust narrative. It comes off as kind of a half assed idea that people put way too much effort in, so it's kind of in this weird grey-area between "modern anime masterpiece" and "what the fuck were they trying to get across with this show?". If you asked me what the moral of the show was, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Now, because of the fact that the Eldians can literally turn into man-eating beasts, this makes the comparison of Jewish people and Eldians very racist, and it doesn't help that Japan is still full of legitimate Nazis, making the whole situation look even worse. Since I am not Jewish, I wont speak for other Jewish people. There is a very heated debate on whether the show is racist, and frankly I don't think it's within my right to say if it is or isn't. What I will say, is that I really loved the show and appreciated the social commentary it provided, and I think a lot of people would benefit from watching it, but I think it's also important to listen to Jewish people's views on the show. For this reason, I specifically avoid reblogging AOT stuff, but I do love that show and I wont hate on people who do reblog stuff from it. It's definitely not a light watch, but it does provide a lot of thinking material.

4. Claymore.

This. Show. Was. Amazing. But. Underrated.

First off, this is a shonen show that is led by a majority female cast and a female protagonist, and all of those women are badass swordwielding lesbians and I love it. Second, the art style is beautiful. Third, the story is really interesting from so many angles, so much so I am not even going to mention what its about because you dont need to know, you just need to watch it and see what happens. The first season was an absoloute ride of a show, and if you love shows like AOT or Berserk, you'll love Claymore. Honestly, this show was what AOT should have tried to be. It also has its fair share of militarized imperialist commentary, but this is the only show on this list that actually fucking critiques imperialist ideals and has a main character that actively refuses to participate in that kind of oppressive system, choosing to fight it all together.

But the show got fucking cancelled right before the first arc even finished. You can thank shows like Naruto for that 🙃🙃🙃

10/10 Would reccomend, but just be prepared to be left on a major cliffhanger. You can try reading the manga, but it's kind of hard to follow since all of the warrior girls look the same.

[leapingtitan]

The Final Season - Episode 1 Thoughts

I've watched the first episode around 3 times on my own and over a dozen times from anime-only live reactions on YouTube. Those are always something to have a field day with every season, and are part of the whole enjoyment post-watching the episode on your own.

Obviously I'm only reviewing this based on the first episode, so it's way too early to judge The Final Season as a whole. However, I will say that my strategy to keep my expectations low definitely worked. I was very hyped, don't get me wrong, but after Season 3 Part 2, I realized that production and scheduling has never been this show's strong suite and things behind the scenes were always chaotic. And it was my mistake to realize it this late and have unrealistically high expectations of the manga's adaptation.

But enough about that. I'm just gonna say it right now. I absolutely loved this episode and was completely blown away by it. It was a rollercoaster ride from start to finish and boy, the staff wasn't kidding when they said the first episode was like a movie. It definitely felt like that, and it went by in a flash. Now, on to the individual points.

Story/Adaptation

Flawless. Everything was executed perfectly and went beyond my expectations. The thing that stood out to me the most was how many things were changed from the PV in terms of scene construction, camera angles, and overall storyboards. There was only one shot that we reused from the PV, namely the one with Zeke and Reiner inside the airship where they're referred to as the spear and shield. Everything else was redone, which was a huge surprise. Wit was always very faithful to the original manga panels with how they used them as a big reference for most of their cuts, but this one changes them up a lot. Personally, I am 100% fine with it and as someone who has read these chapters in the manga dozens of times over the past few years, seeing them like this was a pleasant and very welcome surprise.

The anime-only additions here are notable and also quite welcome. Falco's line in the beginning in particular stood out the most in the long-run, but the addition of the Eldians' terror being shown as well as the scene before the ED was very welcome. I would like to assume that this was Isayama's doing as whenever the anime usually adds/changes up things, it's his request to do so. He sort of considers the anime to be the "definitive" version of the story that he, for one reason or another, couldn't do in the manga himself when that particular chapter came out. Season 3 Part 1 (The Uprising Arc) is a prime example for this. Once again, I'm very content with what was done here and I trust MAPPA will do the story justice.

A small but very neat thing is the fact that we got to keep the title cards and the info eyecatches mid-episode. Really added to the whole sense of consistency.

Animation

When the initial trailer came out, many people were concerned about Shigeki Asakawa (Director of Photography)'s odd and excessive usage of blur filters on top of the scenes and were wondering if they would remain in the final product, given her track record with other shows like The God of Highschool. Luckily, that is not the case here as the scenes look very clean and the minimal blur on top adds a bit to the muddy/gritty atmosphere of what's going on. Personally, I don't mind it at all and I barely notice it anyway. MAPPA's biggest strength to me is the usage of effects like blood and explosions. You feel the impact of everything and with such an action-packed episode, it made everything so much better.

The usage of 3D CGI for the Titan Shifters has been the biggest controversy surrounding this first episode. When I first watched it, it didn't bother me at all. Personally I care more about a model fitting in the action sequence rather than how it looks for the most part. Right now I would say I'm neutral. It's not the greatest CG ever conceived in anime but it definitely does not look out of place and is pretty decent. For the Jaw Titan, I couldn't tell what was CG and what wasn't for the most part. For the other Titans it's more obvious, but it's not too jarring. Obviously, if it was up to me and the production committee/NHK didn't push their scheduling shenanigans onto MAPPA, I would have gotten every Titan in 2D, but you can't have everything. If they choose to focus on more important scenes later on and cut corners in this first episode as a result, that's understandable. I can live with it. And again, even then, it's not that bad in my eyes.

Now, the character designs are just absolutely stellar. In multiple interviews, it’s been stated that they wanted to stay true to Kyoji Asano’s designs at Wit while also being consistent with Isayama’s style in the manga. And boy did they absolutely nail it. It’s exactly what as they said. Tomohiro Kishi could not have done a better job with the characters we’ve seen so far and I am beyond impressed with his work. I look forward to seeing the rest of the characters in this arc.

Sound

I've been following Kohta Yamamoto's works for a few years now, ever since he started working with Sawano (and being mentored by him to an extent) in early 2017. Although he's been involved with AoT before, particularly with the character songs in Season 2, whenever those two would collaborate on a project it would usually be because Sawano is too busy to compose a full soundtrack. So what usually happens is, Sawano does one track and variations of it (think ShingekiNoKyojin, ThanksAT and T-KT), and nothing else. Meanwhile, Yamamoto handles the rest of the music for the show. On top of that, Yamamoto's style as a composer is different from Sawano's as he comes from a rock/guitarist background as opposed to Sawano, who is a pianist and is classically trained. My biggest concern for The Final Season was that we would get a similar case as with the other shows where Sawano doesn't put in too much effort, while Yamamoto essentially becomes the main composer. Although it looks like this is in fact the case after this first episode, let me explain why I don't think it's a bad thing.

After the premiere of the first episode, both Sawano and Yamamoto tweeted that it was in fact Yamamoto who is handling the majority of the Marley Arc's music. And after this first episode, I have to say I'm impressed. His initial track that he made for the PV was a bit off-putting to me because it sounded like every epic blockbuster Hollywood trailer background track ever, but after the way it was used in this episode alongside a few other tracks, I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised. It fits what's going on, and overall delivers a fresh sound to the show that is very appropriate given the massive change in narrative. Back during S3 Part 1, Sawano stated in an interview that he was already burned out and had trouble coming up with new music for AoT given how many tracks he had already composed for it. Given how few new melodies were in S3 Part 2;s music, I think this should be clear. Especially now that we're going into yet another season. To summarize, I think Yamamoto's work here is a result of three conditions that just happened to line up perfectly. The change in narrative, which the new composer style reflects. Sawano being busy. And Sawano being burned out with AoT. Now personally I still believe we're going to get at least one new original Sawano track with variations of it for the big climax moments this arc, and he may compose more music for the 2nd half of this 16-episode season, since that's technically a new arc. But we'll see. As a whole though, I'm satisfied with what I've heard from Kohta Yamamoto in this first episode.

The last point to make in regards to the sound is Masafumi Mima who, apart from Sawano, the voice cast, and some freelancers, is the only one from the previous seasons' staff members to return here. And once again, his work here is absolutely phenomenal. The mixing and usage of sound effects in this episode was stellar and truly felt like I was watching a war movie. It enhanced the action tenfold and I could not want it any better. Music usage is something that goes through the director (Yuichiro Hayashi), but ultimately the sound director is the one who implements the track (instrument layering/stem editing) and does the mixing. The usage of Kohta Yamamoto's music here was very well done, and although the track from the PV repeated quite a bit, it didn't get repetitive at all. Also, the sound director remaining consistent here means we got to keep things like the titan transformation sound effects, which may be a small thing but was very welcome and added to the whole consistency.

Opening/Ending

I'm gonna wait until Shinsei Kamattechan releases the full version of the opening in a single or album to fully judge the song, but boy do I love this opening. Although I'm not sure if the TV-size version is my favorite AoT opening yet, I have to say that it's without a doubt the most fitting OP this show has had until this point. It perfectly showcases the themes of war that this arc focuses on and has this lowkey disturbing eerie vibe with the dissonant chords and mixing of the vocals that feels just as "mysterious" and "tense" as the show itself. I love it so much, honestly. Now, Isayama was a fan of Shinsei Kamattechan prior to them doing the S2 ED, and was the one who got them on-board to do it. Although that song isn't really my thing it's also a perfect fit, which leads me to believe that Isayama himself most likely chose the band again, namely to do this OP. And it's fantastic. I love the song. The visuals also have a very distinct style with all the colors and white backgrounds and I love how it's more metaphorical and symbolic (I guess "abstract" as well?) rather than flat-out just spoiling everything like the last arc's OP did.

The ED by Yuko Ando is fantastic. The first time I listened to the full song on its own I couldn't stop getting chills. Love the production aspects of the song and it's just really nice altogether. The visuals are quite interesting especially towards the end and I also like them a lot. Not much else to say about the ED. It's amazing. Go listen to it.

Conclusion

As a whole, I kept my expectations extremely low prior to the premiere despite my hype. As a result of that, not only were they exceeded, I was absolutely blown away by this first episode in pretty much every way. It may still be too early to judge, but from what has been shown here so far, I am absolutely looking forward to see MAPPA adapt the rest of this amazing story, or about as far as they can get with 16 episodes.