#since were getting rly close to the shows actual date lol

[caruliaa]

okay this is maybe a bitt of a weird request BUT if anyone out there is selling 2 ERAS tickets for £300 or under each for london june night 2 or 3 can u please dm me but after that could we pls exchange instas and move the convo there ? just asking bc im getting the tickets for me and family who are going to be involved in the payments but they rly cant know abt my tumblr bc while im out on here im not to them for safety reasons, im aware its a bit of an insane request but it wld mean a lot to me, willing to pay a little bit more than face value for your time and any inconvenience from this method so long as its £300 or under each, tysm and pls rb this if you can to signal boost 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[wolverinesleftclaw]

Hey sweetheart! 😘 I hope I can ask for an Elijah Mikaelson imagine where you both fell in love during the events in Mystic Falls, even though he never wanted to show feelings again, but he couldn't help when he met you. So you started dating and he's always making sure you're okay and it's all just great. That changes when Klaus comes to town and sees you with Elijah. He kidnaps you to hurt his brother and Elijah gets furious. He finds you, but you're pretty hurt and barely alive, so he needs to make a decision and turns you in the end. After you wake up he's there for you and promises to be with you forever and you're accepting your new life ?

Hope this is okay with you 🫶🏼

Save Me

18+ —— (masterlist)

He was going to be your downfall. You already knew that, but what you didn’t expect was for you’re fate to be in his brothers hands.

⋆˚✿˖° Thank you for the request my love @talesofreading ! I literally spent days working on this for you so i sincerely hope you love and enjoy every second of it. I also left it open for a second part of you wish <3 ⋆˚✿˖°

warnings: violence, mentions of kidnapping, Elijah being stubborn, Klaus being Klaus, possessive!Elijah, no mention of y/n, angst, heartbreak, biting, kinda beefy!elijah (i just always imagine him actually towering over my ocs), power dynamic, seems unfinished but i rly wanna write a second part lol

You had grown up in mystic falls you’re whole life, the quiet town where nothing ever happened. Well that was bullshit, the whole town crawled with the worlds most dangerous creatures. You had found out about Vampires after your best friend Elena started dating Stefan Salvatore then you heard about his less charming douche bag brother Damon and decided to stay away from them as a whole. Subsequently because Elena and you had been attached at the hip since preschool you didn’t have to interact with them but you sure did get filled in on all the gossip. Which was why you were currently in the car on your way to the lockwood mansion with her. Apparently the latter were on a mission to kill elena’s freako look alike great something grandma.

“this sucks” you said looking over at Elena who was driving the car — “we literally live in a town of vampires, werewolf’s and witches and the two of us are just human” you added

“yeah well i think i’d rather be human than a vampire” Elena declared stubbornly

“you know i think i have to agree because we both know that Stefan and Damon are going to do a terrible job at killing Katherine and if you were a vampire i think she’d make your life eternally miserable” you responded just as you pulled up to the Lockwood mansion. “i am so not dressed for the occasion” you muttered under your breath eyeing your oversized sweatpants and spaghetti strap tang top, you barley had time to put your shoes on before Elena was pulling you out of the house. you wrapped your arms around your body as Elena pulled you through crowds of people into the mansion. You and Elena quickly found bonnie and Jeremy quietly talking amongst themselves in the corner. Unfortunately you couldn’t get yourself to care about the conversation going on in front of you mainly because of the chill running down your spine at the sight of a man in a jester mask staring right back at you. You blinked and the man was gone just as Elena cried out in pain.

~~~~

“I can’t believe Katherine did that to you” you rushed as you tried to keep up with Elena. The night had only gotten worse and when everything was said and done Elena was a bloody mess and you were freezing.

“honestly, i’m surprised you think she wouldn’t do this to me” Elena retorted storming to her car.

you followed closely behind, “okay well don’t get mad with me it’s not my fault that you almost died” you argued back crossing your arms over your chest. “i’m sorry okay? it’s just… she’s only doing this because she’s in love with Stefan” Elena sighed.

you saw the same man from earlier with the jester mask walk up behind Elena. You’re eyes widened in worry “Elena watch out” you yelled as you ran forward to push the man away from your friend. He grabbed you and threw you against the car slamming your head into the door.

~~~

When you wake up the first thing you notice is the rope around your arms and legs. You quickly try to get out of them but fail miserably.

“Stop trying to get out of the ropes. It’ll never work” a brunette said as she walked into the room. “who are you?” you asked flinching as she walked towards you and bent down.

“my names rose.” she responded voice dead “you weren’t supposed to be with the girl” she said sadly, undoing your restraints.

“where is Elena, what do you want with her” you shook as you replied.

“it’s not what we want. it’s what he wants” she said as she looked away from you — “who’s he?” you asked lowly, she moved her head back to face you and replied “Elijah”

~~~

“oh my god you’re okay” Elena said as she rushed towards you when rose took you into the other room. “yea i’m okay lena” you smiled sadly.

“he’s here. this was a mistake” a man rushed out as he paced around the room. “Trevor in order to get our freedom we must give him the girl. This is no mistake” the woman demanded grabbing the man to a stop. “I will bring him here, watch the girls.” she asserted as she walked out of the room.

“I’m not going to make it out of here am i?” you sighed trying to fight the tears in your eyes as you looked forward towards the covered up windows.

“hey, no don’t say that. I’m going to do everything i can to make sure we both get out here alive” Elena reassured you as she held you, you rested your head on her shoulder and sighed out a breath. The weight of this situation coming crashing down on you. While you both were human, Elena was more important to the supernatural world than you would ever be. You also knew if it came down to it Stefan and Damon would leave you to die if it meant saving her. You didn’t resent her for that, you were happy she had somebody who would do anything for her, you just wished you had someone who would do the same for you.

Your head snapped up at the sound of footsteps, your breathing became shallow as Elena pulled you onto your feet with her. You were terrified, you had no idea who Elijah was and from roses reaction to him you could tell he probably wasn’t going to be a saint.

In the blink of an eye you were throw behind Elena’s back as a man took place in front of her. You saw what you would say was the most handsome man you’d ever seen. You kicked yourself. you shouldn’t be thinking that when your best friends life was on the line, but you couldn’t help but notice the way his hair fell perfectly down around his handsome face, the powerful stance in which he stood. You noted he was dressed in a suit which probably cost more than your whole life together. His eyes drew you in from behind Elena and you couldn’t look away. If this was the way you went out you wouldn’t complain.

“human. It’s impossible” he breathed out in shock. “hello there” he smirked, you noticed his gaze went past Elena and right into your eyes. He was talking to you. why would he be talking to you? You felt your heartbeat quicken and you were sure you’d held your breath way beyond your lungs capability. You quickly shifted your gaze downwards biting your lip, suddenly remembering your lack of clothing moving closer to Elena.

“we have a long journey ahead of us we should be going” Elijah says grabbing Elena’s arm and turning them around.

“And the girl? What should we do with her.” Rose asked from across the room.

Elijah’s gaze moved to meet yours again. “leave her be. Do not harm her.” he ordered rose.

Elena looked at you with a pleading look before crying out towards rose “please, don’t let him take me.”

Elijah let go of Elena’s arm pushing her towards rose. “one last piece of business before we go”

Elijah stalks towards Trevor who shrinks down in fear “you have no idea how long i’ve waited for this day” he sputtered out. You noticed how Elijah held such an air of power around himself. You wondered how old he was, surely he was a vampire. You tuned out the rest of the conversation watching as Elijah ruled the two vampires in the room with just his presence. You suddenly hear rose cry out in sorrow as Elijah smacks Trevor’s head clean from his body. You noticed that Elijah had moved his body so he was in front of you, like he was intentionally blocking you from the scene in front. Your face paled as he grabbed both you and Elena dragging you to the front of the house. “who else is here” he demanded towards rose who shook her head “no one”

His grip tightened around your arm as he pushed Elena towards rose keeping you firmly planted next to him. Damon and Stefan were playing games with him. That probably wasn’t a smart idea you thought. You felt your body being ripped away from Elijah’s grasp and slammed up against a wall. Your head hitting the wall hard. Too hard. You cried out in pain and shook as the dizziness came in waves until everything went black.

~~~

When you woke up you took note of the fact you were still in the house, except it was night time now. You brushed the dirt off of your pants as you stood up and looked around. “Elena…” you yelled out wincing when you remembered that probably wasn’t a good idea. You were answered back with silence as you made your way towards the front of the stairs. You gasped as your eyes landed on a very dead Elijah, you walked quietly towards his seemingly sleeping body. Just as you reached out to pull the coat rack from his body he awoke with a gasp of his own. Anger displayed upon his face as he ripped the coat rack from his chest and threw it across the room at a very inhuman speed. He cracked his neck and fixed his jacket before his gaze landed on you.

“what did you do?” he roared taking large steps towards you. For every one step he took you had to take three steps back. “i — i didn’t do anything” you felt your face pale and mouth dry with fear. “y — you were dead” you stuttered trying to look anywhere but his angry eyes. “for centuries now. where did the girl go?” he demanded looking you up and down as if he was trying to decide what to do with you. “i really don’t know, i just woke up on the floor. I’m assuming Stefan and Damon took her… they left me, no way they actually left me here” you rambled out as your back hit the wall. You realized you had nowhere to go as Elijah’s frame blocked you in. You noticed how tall he was, you had always been short it didn’t take much for someone to be taller than you, but Elijah; he was tall. You stood just below his shoulders, your small frame feeling even smaller as he stood in front of you.

“what wonderful friends you have” he implied looking down from your eyes to your neck where he could see the blood rushing between your veins. “they aren’t my friends. only elena is” you mumbled shifting on your feet. “hm. we should get going then” he declared swiftly pulling his jacket from his shoulders and holding it out to you.

~~

“do you always kidnap teenage girls?” you asked looking out of the window in Elijah’s car and wrapping his jacket tighter around. “do you consider this kidnapping?” he asked with a cocked head. “yes i do.” you stated firmly looking over at him “do you not?”. he looked fully at you now, “i consider this me doing you a favor, saving a poor defenseless girl from an abandoned home, to which your own friends didn’t save you from. Now i could have done what i originally intended and drained every single drop of blood from your body and left you there, but i didn’t. So No i would not say this is considered kidnapping” he replied putting his eyes back on the road. “why didn’t you kill me?” you pondered fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. you noticed his fingers tightened their grip around the steering wheel as he said “there’s something awfully interesting about you.”

~~

From that moment on you and Elijah had been inseparable. He told you about his desire to not be seen in mystic falls just yet. So you returned home and acted as if some friendly stranger gave you a ride home.

It hadn’t taken long for you to fall head over heels for Elijah, but you noticed his hesitance when it came to you. How he never shared too much about himself. How he absolutely insisted you never speak of him to anyone, as if he was scared. You had learned he was one of the oldest vampires to ever exist. A thousand years old, he was strong, and wise and he surely had a copious amount of enemies. You knew all of that should have scared you away but you found it only intriguing you more and more each day. He handled you with such care, as if the smallest of things would break you and he’d lose you forever. Yet he never said what you wanted him to say.

It had been weeks since the day in the abandoned house and Elijah had finally made his presence known to mystic falls. You especially enjoyed pretending you didn’t spend all your time with the man. You knew in your gut Elijah feels the same way about you that you do him. It was just getting him to act on it that proved to be hard.

When you saw him at the founders party all dressed in his grey suit and hair slicked back, you didn’t care who noticed you decided that you had had enough of pining over him.

“so, Mr. Smith?” you quoted raising your champagne glass to your lips to hide your smile. “not everyone can be privy to my actual identity sweetheart” he replied looking down at you. You noticed his eyes raking over your form. “you look absolutely astonishing tonight” he said voice husky as his gaze returned to yours. You almost moaned at the tone of his voice. This was what you meant, you knew he was attracted to you but he never acted on it. You figured your best bet would be to show him what he was missing. “do i?” you questioned him with a smile “i thought you’d like this dress” you winked at him as his eyes darkened. “I didn’t think you would be bold enough to test your little theory here” he smiled licking his lips before raising his glass of champagne. “what theory would that be?” you pushed trying to get him to say it for himself but before he could answer a hand wrapped around your shoulder.

“Fancy seeing you here, my, my you look amazing” Damon stated, you winced out of his grasp moving away from him. You noticed the deadly look on Elijah’s face as he stared Damon down. “Damon i do believe it’s time we have a chat just the two of us” he said through gritted teeth. The two disappearing upstairs before you could say anything

~~

You sat a the bar picking at the fruit tray when Elijah approached you again. “I’m sorry sweetheart, i had to take care of something” he said moving to stand behind you. “did you kill him” you accused taking a bite out of a strawberry. “No i did not, I should have.” he replied turning you in your seat so you were facing him. “why” you questioned looking up at him. “because i do not like the idea of him ever looking at you again.” Elijah moved his head down so he was level with your ear, “or anyone for that matter” he muttered moving your hair out of the way, inhaling your scent. “i know this is what you want, it’s what i want too. But it would be selfish of me to subject you to the life i live.” he confessed before he grabbed you and in the blink of an eye you were in a different room. “you don’t get to decide what’s right or wrong for me Elijah” you argued back pulling out of his embrace. “why are you scared, I know it’s not the reason you just gave. I know that because for months i have been living as apart of your life, i know you think giving me some noble reason will deter me from continuing this but it won’t, so what’s the real reason?” you semi shouted at him, you were angry and you had every right to be. He’d been playing that game since the day you met him, where he acted as if he wanted you and then decided he couldn’t be with you. “Because i have lost every single person i have ever loved!” he roared back with tears in his eyes “i have had every person i have ever cared for ripped away from me, for a millennium i have been dealt constant heartbreak. I would be a fool if i left myself care for another being ever again, and i would be eternally selfish if i let you in and you died at the hand of my enemies.. or worse me. But you have infiltrated my very being, every thought, every feeling is because of you, so i cannot just let you walk away, because no where is far enough for me to not crave you, you’re scent is engraved in my senses and i cannot stop it.” he confessed moving toward you, he lifted his arm and ran his knuckles down your face as he gazed lovingly into your eyes. you leaned into his hand and looked up at him through your eyelashes. He was staring at your lips, this was new he’d never done that before. Elijah leaned down until his lips were just above your own “can i kiss you” he asked against your lips. You nodded your head vigorously as he entwined his lips with yours. His lips are softer than anything you’ve ever known. The feeling in your chest was explosive, spreading all throughout your body. He tilted your head upward biting your lip in the process. you let out a moan of approval, moving your hands to lay underneath his suit jacket. You could feel every inch of his muscles tensing underneath your touch. You loved it, craved for more. His hand moved from your face into your hair, bunching it up and pulling you closer to him. You loved every second of this moment, how raw and beautiful it truly was.

When Elijah pulled away from the kiss he rested his forehead on yours, out of breath you closed your eyes.

~~

Elijah had entrusted you with the secret of the curse placed upon his brother Klaus. You were sleeping one night when he came to see you, telling you that Elena would need to be sacrificed in order for him to kill his brother. Of course you asked him if he was sure he wanted to do this and he was. So tonight he was attending a dinner party at the Salvatore mansion in order to keep and eye on Damon. You had told him you thought it was a bad idea, that you got a bad feeling from it, but he insisted he would be alright. Now it was two days later and you hadn’t heard or seen from him. You were currently on a mission to find him when you entered the Salvatore mansion to find all your so called friends having some type of meeting. “where is Elijah” you announced as you walked in. “so you are sleeping with him” Damon said back smirking as he turned around to face her. “Yeah Damon i am, you know if you were going to have such an issue with it maybe you shouldn’t have left me for dead” you said walking more into the room. “well he’s not here, so no need for you to be here any longer” he dismissed her. You looked at Elena over his shoulder meeting her gaze. She quickly moved her eyes towards the basement door. You nodded your head and turned to walk away when Alaric called out to you. “hey wait up” he called after you following you outside.

“you’ve literally never talked to me before Alaric, so unless your going to tell me where Elijah is don’t start now” you said not stopping your stride heading to your car.

“cmon now love i just wanted a chat. seems we have to do this the hard way” Alaric replied grabbing your arm and slamming your head into your car window.

~~~

you awoke to a shooting pain in your side as you stirred. “welcome back to the land of the living love” a man said crouching in-front of you “i’m getting really tired of people knocking me out” you murmured groggily.

“ah yes, you see i’ve heard my brother was plotting my demise, and since i’ve got more at stake than him i figured an eye for an eye.” klaus said reaching to grab something above your head. His hand returned with a knife, your eyes widened as he covered your mouth and stabbed you in the thigh as your screams muffled. “now living for a thousand years you learn a few things about torture. except your human and you can’t handle as much as i’d like.” he said twisting the knife, the pain you felt was white hot and expanded through your whole body. “So i’ll resort to draining all but a drop of blood from you until Elijah comes to find you.” he said with a wicked smirk, grabbing your hair and tilting your head back. His whole face changed, you remember seeing Elijah’s vampire face which you loved but Klaus’ was just outright scary. You felt his sharp teeth rip into your carotid artery, you felt every drop of blood leave your body. The excruciating pain of his teeth in your skin. You head felt heavy as it rolled to the side when he finally pulled away. “cmon love the games are just beginning.” he taunted.

~~

when Elijah had woken the first thing he demanded of Elena was to bring him to you. When she failed to find you red flags raised in his mind. You would never disappear and all he could think was you had hurt yourself in the process of trying to find him. what he wasn’t expecting was for his brother to have taken you captive. when Elijah found you, you were a bloody mess. Crimson red everywhere, you say in your own puddle of blood. Shallow breathing was all he heard as he rushed forward and held your face in his hand. “my love” he whispered trying to wake you up.

You failed to wake up after the fifth time he tried. You had bruises and cuts all over you. The wounds on your thighs bleeding the most. When you whimpered in response to him shifting you he was glad for a sign you were alive.

“Elijah” you cried out unable to move “i can’t it hurts so much” you reached out to grab his arm as he picked you up and speed the two of you to his apartment.

“i’m so sorry my love” he cried as he held your hand. “for what?” you asked weakly wiping his tears away from his eyes. “for not protecting you. I can give you my blood and it will heal you.”he said moving your body to lay down. in the process of moving you the wounds he had patched in your thighs had opened, resulting in you losing blood. Again you had become faint and in and out of consciousness.

Elijah had managed to get his blood down your throat but he knew he would lose you. he had waited to long to feed it to you. Within the next minute he whispered a quick apology into your ear and snapped your neck.

[dairy-farmer]

Oooh courting tim from a young age would be really interesting to see actually, like theyd have chaperones to make sure they were being proper since they’re supposed to wait for marriage or for tim to be considered an adult and sometimes they sneak out together or trick their chaperones into going somewhere else for a while so they can have alone time (maybe they have chaperones cuz society is kinda wary of bruce ever since he announced his intention to court a young tim and no one can rly do anything to bruce, so they’re (pr maybe?)just like at least have a chaperone so we know you’re not being a pervert) just courting phase ykno? and maybe sneaky kisses or quickies lol, whatever else floats your boat. Thanks 💗💗

-C

yes!!! in a world where bruce still gets side-eyed for chasing after a kid but its followed by reluctant grumbles because technically they can't do anything because its not strictly against the law. so long as bruce adheres to the laws in place of not engaging with tim sexually until he's of marrying age.

bruce wayne is in for a long courtship since he's going to be waiting until tim's year of maturity.

but people aren't about to believe that playboy bruce wayne is just going to keep his dick to himself if left to his own devices with the child he's announced his intentions to court.

so the somewhat obsolete role of a 'chaperone' comes into play as ordered by the courts of gotham as well as tim's parents.

because if tim and bruce are left alone tim may return to them seduced and ruined. bruce may have said he wants to marry tim but until a marriage certificate is signed and dated they're not willing to take the chance of bruce spoiling tim and then abandoning him.

chaperones are present everytime bruce and tim go anywhere together. the drakes pay for a caretaker to watch over tim and ensure that bruce, who is their neighbor, doesn't make any midnight visits.

but like a scene out of romeo and juliet, bruce frequently climbs up tim's balcony to see him and kiss him goodnight.

tim is a sweet child, enamored, and in love with his soon to be fiancé who brings him gifts and sweets and parades him around galas and dancing with him all night.

tim's chaperones spoil a lot of the fun when tim is trying to show off a new dress to bruce.

"hands above the waist mr. wayne." they warn him, eyes narrowed while tim huffs.

tim wants bruce to touch his waist, he wants him to touch him under the waist too.

tim begs bruce to touch him with his fingers everytime they're alone. the way he does some nights where he strokes tim's soft thighs and rubs against his little pink slit.

tim's thighs tremble just at the memory of just how nice it was when bruce pressed his fingers inside him, stroking him and working out sounds that tim desperately muffled under his hands just like how bruce told him to do it.

sometimes they're lucky and bruce gets his friend mr. kent to dress up and pretend to be him for awhile while bruce spends time with tim. it's during one of those times that bruce sticks his head under tim's dress for the first time.

now tim pleads with bruce to touch him with his tongue again. and bruce does, so long as tim promises to put his mouth on bruce.

and tim does. because bruce will be his husband one day and tim wants to be the best little wife in the world.

so he does his best to give bruce 'head' whenever he asks for it even if the taste makes him want to spit it out. but tim can't. because it'd leave too much of a mess and because bruce likes watching tim do it. he likes asking tim to show him his mouth so he can see its all gone.

the chaperones are strict about a lot of things like how often and in what way bruce can touch him. they even have opinions on how close they can be while dancing.

tim can't wait until he's finally of age and he can be fully engaged to bruce. at that point they'll have less limitations foisted on them.

no one will be able to tell him that he can't kiss his fiance on the cheek.

tim's virginity is still to remain intact until they retreat to their marital bed. tim's not sure why. his chaperones acted like it would be the end of the world if tim was 'deflowered' before saying his vows.

but nothing happened the night tim managed to lose his chaperones and get twenty wonderful minutes of bruce pressing into him and splitting his cunt open in the backseat of the limosine they took to the celebreation of a new museum wing opening.

he and bruce haven’t had sex again since that night. it was a once in a blue moon oppertunity that they took.

but that doesn’t mean that tim doesn’t pump his fingers inside his little pussy and whine into his pillow while remembering how good bruce made him feel that night.

how he’ll make tim feel again on their wedding night.

fuck. it’s years away but tim’s already counting down the days, waiting for the day bruce can take him into his arms without anyone hissing about hand placement. 

waiting for the day this courtship is over and tim is finally bruce’s wife.

[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[seoafin]

oo yeah, the stark differences in eng fics on ao3 and those that i’ve read in websites like pixiv/ weibo/ lofter/ typesetters is a high-context asian subtle/implicit intimacy vs low-context western loud/explicit intimacy (1)

tho ,, i think the setting (character + environment + time) and the prompt (au? canon? romance? slice of life? epic?) play into it. i think the differences that exist between portrayals of intimacy by east asian authors and by western authors largely stem from cultural philosophy, which could make some things jarring to those unfamiliar with either

tbh i'm the type of person who, when reading lit abt supposedly asian characters, would appreciate the story more if it was also true to the characters' culture, and so i'd also like to see them experience and understand love the same way asians experience and understand love. but that's just me (i know there are diaspora who like to see other things), and that's also for a concept that's more for peaceful romance/character-centric settings. it’d be a different case if the story is plot-driven, or historical, or apocalyptic

i personally prefer the nuance of intimacy in pieces by east asians bc that's what i like to see and what i'm familiar with. but either way, i don't mind the differences exist. it just means that there's a variety to all of our experiences. as long as it's written into the narrative in an organic manner, it will still feel like a love i can appreciate, whether romantic or platonic or anything in between.

the whiplash was intense when i opened a fic bc i was curious or bored (or both rly) and then boom, untagged daddy kink. SHSHS it makes me giggle sumtimes, since he’s a jpnese character, when it comes to gojou, bc personally i just can't imagine him calling anyone any kind of petname unless it means to fuck with them,,, like, for eg, in stsg fic i just can't vibe with gojou calling suguru anything but his name, but that's just me and largely the way i interpret their characters, and it's just nice to know that all the authors of jp/cn/kr fic i've read before feel the same way more or less ,, but that's it HSJJSJS if someone else decides they want gojou calling suguru this or that, then that's like, alright. that's what they want to write and see, yk, and there's nothing wrong with that, i'll just swerve respectfully lmao

also for pdas,, i think it definitely depends on the age of the couple and the setting

like, if they're a campus couple, pda is pretty common. handholding, picking each other up from class, study dates in the library/courtyard/cafe, going to drinking parties together, that sort of thing.

the most common petname i've heard cn campus couples use is "baobao/baobei" (寶寶/寶貝), which means precious/baby/darling. for jp couples, tbrh i've never heard anything ,, my friends and cousins don't use petnames either

honestly,,, if u're cn/jp and u're dating someone ur age or younger, u'd probs call them by their given name or a nickname with an affectionate prefix/suffix (小，阿，兒 etc or the norm ちゃん, くん, さん, 先輩/ 輩先 suffix) and ig u could call that a petname. if u're dating someone older than u, then u'd call them (insert name)-san or senpai/jie/ge if u and they want, and that would show how close u are. some ppl date and call each other by their full names, too, and even with honourifics. and some ppl use just their partner's given names.

for kr,, idk much but i think it’s usually 이,야,아 etc and noona/oppa/unni/hyung ????

for older couples, like married couples or people who are working, pda tends to lean towards petnames. "sweetheart", "honey", "wife/husband", that sort of thing. if they're parents, they'd probably call each other "dad", "mum" (I NEVER HEARD MY OWN PARENTS NAME LEAVING THEIR LIPS WHEN THEY ADDRESS THE OTHER)

but if its pda like,, making out in public, i don't think it's very common. i've never seen it shhsjsjs (arm holding can be rewarded with a stink eye from the conservatives elderly (mostly), from where i came from)

in fic, it's abt the same, which means it would depend on the age/setting/couple's preference with the addition of the author's preference which just,,, uh shows , ig

but then again,, pls cmiiw if anyone else knows more

altho i’m a “respect is earned” type of person ,, when it comes to (conservative) elders, it will just fly out of the window,,, the repercussions....just no 🥰 some of them are so fucking petty and are hellbent to teach u a lesson, its actually embarassing

back when the yo mama jokes were still popular and 24/7 circulating in the internet,, me and some friends were 😃😃 like yall can say this and get away with it? when daylight arrive after i crack this kind of joke in front of my relatives, my mom is done scheduling for my cremation date

even if i dont intend it to mean disrespect in some convos,, the damage is done and my parents would straight up be like : “wtf did u just say? try repeating it once more and lets see if u can still sleep under a roof today.” either that or they’ll smack me before saying it ,, whichever could come first depending on their mood 🥴

my relatives wont ever missed if i ever forgot to address them when we meet or during a phonecall by a simple “uncle/ aunt/ grandfather/ grandmother” (usually my grandfather is the one so uptight abt it 💀) and it will end up into a short lecture abt “young kids these days..../ u havent forgot to eat yet u forgot what respect is?/ ur parents are fine ppl but what happen to u”

cue my mother glaring at me or giving the stink eye like @/&/&2@22 most of the times i’m distracted by sth and just spaced out while organising it in my head b4 it could get out of hand ,,, that and the titles i’ve used for each relative is different and i’m afraid to mixed it up bc again...stink eye ,,, like my father’s younger/ older brother and younger/ older sister and cousins + its another different handful of titles when it comes to my mother’s family 😔 - 🐱 (2)

yes!!!! there’s a lot of reasons why i enjoy stsg fics and it’s because gojo and geto are always treated like people in stsg fics.....i’ve found that in a lot of reader insert fics you could replace gojo and geto with the male lead of those mafia boss stories on wattpad and it wouldn’t make a difference LMAO gojo and geto are often caricatures of themselves and it’s just something i’m personally not interested in.

also....i feel like there’s so much intimacy in how someone calls/says your name that just using pet names 24/7 gives it this superficial sense that i’m not really a fan of but then again, in fwb stories i totally understand.

another thing, I really feel like culture DOES play into it. obviously as asian people ourselves who come from a collectivist culture, our idea of love is different from the western concept of love. i feel like this especially comes into play when we see reader insert stories where the MC is super op and strong just so they can “match” gojo and gojo doesn’t need to worry about them even though it’s not even needed!! in asian cultures it’s not a burden to take care of people. it’s love. and i feel like western people don’t quite grasp that bc it’s such an individualist culture (this is a not nuanced at all / a generalization but u get the point)

yeah full on pda in fics always gets me because in japan???? lmao no honey!!! although gojo would definitely do it, not every character would LOL

gojo would pet names as a joke aka ironically, but i just don’t see him doing it seriously unless it's dear or smt

my mom is so big on respect. she always gets into fights abt with my brother and it’s a generational difference tbh but i digress, it’s not like it’s bad to be polite to your elders, but I do think koreans can take it too far to the point where it’s detrimental!!

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[rainstormfes]

Anime Expo Lite Day 1 Experience!

Program: Warner Bros. Japan Presents "Stay connected with Anime"

This whole program made me so frickin happy, SEIYUU AND JAPANESE GUESTS EVERYWHEREEEE WHILE TALKING ABT ANIME YESS (note: i typed most of this while the event was going on so pls bear with all my keyboard smashes and small comments lolol i just rly wanted to make a review for this event since i knew tons of seiyuu and anime that i love would be there and talked about. Also also i am not allowed to share any screenshots or recordings of it so just fyi 👍🏻)

It started out with talking about DanMachi 3 with guests Matsuoka Yoshitsugu (voiced Bell Cranel) , Minase Inori (voiced Hestia) , Osawa Nobuhiro (from EGG FIRM), and Matsukura Yuji (producer from J.C. Staff)

They answered many questions like how the author was inspired by the voice acting from the two guests specifically, talking about specific scenes

MINASE-SAN PERFORMED A SMALL LINE WHICH WAS SO FRICKIN CUTE

one of the producers was asked about production for DanMachi and he was like ‘brUH the volumes got thicker and thicker as they kept getting released like DANG’

They prepared a teaser image for the third season and for the big reveal Matsuoka had to tear a curtain off of a huge posterboard but the curtain got caught and made it almost fall xDD (very cute and awkward moment, Matsuoka never change pls omg youre too precious)

Matsuoka was asked if there was any difficulties when recording s3 and he just talked about how Bell went through lots of growth and that he had to think about how to properly act out just how mature Bell got, considering he’s now a leader of his group

Minase-san answered the same question. She talked about how she made sure to try and keep in mind how close all of the characters are and Hestia’s mental and social growth

Iguchi Yuka (voiced Chigusa) sent in a vid message since she sings the opening!! And it was announced that sajou no hana would be performing the ending song! Both vid messages were very nice and cute and both artists just talked about how they were looking forward to everyone’s reactions to their songs and to look forward to the anime

Airing of DanMachi 3 will begin in October woop woop!🎉🎉

OML WHEN MATSUOKA-SAN DID HIS ENDING REMARKS he pointed to the posterboard and was like ‘thIS NEW CHARACTER IS CUTE’ and said ‘whO TF IS THIS’ (pointing to new characters on the posterboard lol)

The next anime that they talked about was Shokugeki no Soma: The Fifth Plate with guests: Matsuoka Yoshitsugu (voiced Yukihira Soma) (MY GOSH HES SO AWK AND CUTE OMLLLLL he was like ‘can i speak now’ cause there was that kind of awkwardness in the first segment too 😅) and Yonetani Yoshitomo (animation director)

Yonetani-san was asked how he felt abt the anime. He talked about how he wanted to express how amazing the cooking/food was as well as wanted to excite (oh b o y 😳) the audience

Matsuoka-san was asked the same thing. He talked about how he’s been following Soma since day one and thinks a lot abt his growth in Totsuki. He talked about how he kinda thinks about his own high school days (comment from director lol that he might just cry during his final recording session which i feel, its been 5 years since the first season was aired)

THEY RECORDED AN IRL SHOKUGEKI?!??!?! OMGGGG. FUKUYAMA JUN (voiced Saiba Asahi) AND TAKAHASHI MINAMI (voiced Tadokoro Megumi) WERE THERE (yall can i just- JUN LOOKS SO MF GOOD OML). 

bruh matsuoka’s mixture for a sauce for tonkatsu was frickin WACK he put strawberry jam, cream, waSABI???, KETCHUP?!?!?!, along with SOY SAUCE, there was more but that combo i put alone looks so frickin wack. 

Jun’s sauce oMG HE STARTED W NUTELLA AND PEANUT BUTTER WTF OMG THIS MISCHIEVOUS MAN I CANTTT 😂😂. He put in LOTS of mayo uhm... he crushed sesame seeds and dried fish together OMLLL HE WAS LIKE SHE NEEDS HER CALCIUM W THE FISH HES SO CHAOTIC and since he ran out of time he couldnt crush the fish properly so there were just HUGE CHUNKS OF FISH IN THE BOWL. omg when he was mixing it..... ew. the takamina was like E W. the way he was selling it was pure g o l d OMG HE PUT IN MF SQUID JUST NOW I CANTTTT HE IS IRL SOMA XDDD poor takamina she was fake crying, girl saME (she’s the judge)

Takamina surprisingly enjoyed matsuoka’s sauce (she was like the ingredients somehow WORKED xD) “it feels like i had a nice meal” (GIRL HOW??? XD)

as for Jun’s sauce review: FDSAFD TAKAMINA SAID THAT THE SQUID WAS STARING AT HER I CANTTT. she described it as a theme park which is perfect. tons of flavors were trying to be the main thing. The squid leg works with tonkatsu so it was ok in the end

matsuoka’s sauce won bc the squid in jun’s was kinda unnecessary but in the end she liked both (kinda surprising lol)

ADSJFKSFJ YONETANI-SAN DID THE ‘bursting’ thing ONCE THE SHOKUGEKI VID WAS DONE, SHOWING A SHIRT W MEGUMI AND TENTACLES OMG

Matsuoka’s comments on the shokugeki: he enjoyed doing it w jun since he was very good at talking (especially when he was making the sauce). Both their sauces were “okay” lol

Yonetani-san’s comments: he talked about how he struggled to cook when he was a child but even through the small irl shokugeki they did he learned smth lolol

Matsuoka was asked which lines were more memorable for him (other than soma’s lol): he talked about how the explanations for the dishes (the monologues when theyre being made and when theyre being presented) were difficult and whenever he recorded those kinds of lines, it was kind of difficult to record since it would be hard to express a good portrayal of soma’s energy if he didn’t even know what he was talking about (so on the side he had to keep using wiki to understand what soma was even talking abt lol)

Question abt the production of the anime: Yonetani-san talked abt how there were lots of complicated words; there were lots of cuts in certain scenes made to try and portray the energy that they wanted in the anime

“If you could try any of your character’s dishes which one would you choose?” Matsuoka: he wanted to try the chicken wing dumplings and a recipe book was released before so he tried it... and it turned out BAD XDD

Someone asked abt where the producers get ideas about the ending theme sequences: Yonetani-san’s used the songs as inspiration for the backgrounds used for the ending themes, also trying to relate to the cooking and the theme of high schoolers just going through life etc

OH SCHIZ THERE WAS A SPECIAL MANGA RELEASED. A small part of it was voiced by matsuoka, jun, and takamina it was vvv cute (the full would be released on Shounen Jump at a later date)

Ending remarks: FASDFDSA THIS ACTUALLY WILL BE THE LAST SEASON OF SHOKUGEKI OMG 😭😭. OMG MATSUOKA IS SO FRICKIN CUTE AND AWKWARDDDDD he was doing a small clap at the end hes so adorable someone protect him pls :(((

The next and last anime talked about was JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind, where there was a behind the scenes vid made:

Ono Kensho (voiced Giorno Giorvanna) was there ofc along w two producers from David Pro (Kasama) and Warner Bros Japan (Omori Hiroyuki)

OMG FIRST THEY TALKED ABT THE STAND CRIES YESSS. DSFDSAF THEY ACTUALLY COUNTED HOW MANY MUDA’S ONOKEN HAD TO SAY that is so amazing i love the dedication. onoken mentioned how he talked to koyasu (voiced Dio Brando) abt counting the muda’s but he was like ‘ehhhh i never did that lol’. overall, everyone from all seasons tried to match the scenes but koyasu was basically the odd one out not rly needing??? to follow it lol

FDSAFDSA BRUH THERES 17 RERO RERO’S hirakawa-san practiced in the BATH the dedication is INSANE i love this

lolol onoken scrunches up his face when he says his mudas lol vvv cute (so thats a good tip for anyone wanting to say it properly)

one of the reasons they chose onoken in the first place to voice giorno was the fact that his muda’s were strong, thats frickin awesome (and he asked for a redo so that just shows great dedication, smth that staffs would want in their seiyuu)

next they talked abt the anime-only scene of giorno giving gelato to a kid. they wanted to show how kind giorno was despite eventually becoming a gang-star. its personal to kasama-san since he had actually went to italy and had experienced intense heat there and went to a gelato stand so he wanted to preserve that memory in film

they moved on to talk abt how the hitman team was first introduced in ep 10. they decided to enhance the anime by showing the many teams of passione in their own meeting places, trying to emphasize how close everyone was in their respective teams

THEY MENTIONED HOW THEY PURPOSELY PUT CHARACTERS THAT ARE LATER INTRODUCED IN THE ANIME WITHIN FRAMES JUST TO TEASE omg i love

next they talked about how the second theme for golden wind was kinda hard to make (the animation and song IS amazing which i personally appreciate). considering that they needed to kind of match up with “Fighting Gold” (the first op), it was hard to produce something for it. And they had already decided to make an alternate version of it as well, animation wise. For a while they were stuck but eventually they managed to create smth which ofc ended up as the second op for Golden Wind (and also mentioned how that also happened for Stardust Crusaders, with changing the op’s animation to showcase everyone’s stands and also the small interaction between joutarou and dio)

AHHHHHH THEY MENTIONED THE FAMOUS DIO POSE THAT GIORNO DID AHH YESSSS THANK YOU DAVID PRO FOR DOING THAT, they said that they felt that they needed to live up to fans’ expectations so considering how dedicated of a fanbase we are, they decided to put that little nod toward dio’s pose with giorno doing it too

Ending remarks: lolol kasama-san was like ‘watch jojo in these difficult times to brighten up your day’ and honestly i just might :D

Omori-san was also a guest for the live broadcast too! Plus, Kanno Yugo who’s in charge of the music for Golden Wind!!! (a frickin king providing giorno’s iconic asf theme)

OMG THE THEME LETS GO HE TALKED ABT IT: considering his experience with parts 3 and 4 for the themes, he felt he needed to try and one up himself lol; he’s grateful that his music is loved by the fandom and hopes to meets everyone’s expectations (my king you’ve done amazing work)

He talked about how making music for jojo feels like competing in the olympics (cant blame him lol its a pretty difficult job to one up yourself every time theres a new season. since he started working with jojo at stardust crusaders and considering how iconic joutarou’s and josuke’s themes are, needing to make smth as amazing as those themes mustve been tough but he def delivered in the end)

OMG KANNO-SAN PERFORMED LIVE AHHHHHH and ofc its Il vento d’oro :)) THAT WAS SO FRICKIN AMAZING OMG ugh that made me so happy

Ending remarks: both guests were very wholesome, saying to stay safe during this situation. Omori-san stayed behind to say a small message on behalf of warner bros japan, saying to continue to support them and thank you for supporting the anime :))

Overall an amazing experience 😊

I loved everything that happened. It was nice to finally see some of my fave seiyuu at an event despite what’s going on in the world right now, it definitely brightened up my day :D

[cowstiandior]

phew this rly is gonna be the first post I’ve made in like a year but. Like the others, time to pour my heart out I guess.

I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma. I’m still going through my trauma because every so often I learn things that I had no idea about whether it be because I blocked it out or just never thought about it in an abusive light. I guess, first thing’s first, to explain why a lot of this stuff impacted me in a huge way (not to say that it wouldn’t have otherwise, but.).

My biological father was emotionally and physically abusive. To me, to my sibling, to my mother and all his exe’s. He had mental illnesses that were left untreated like BPD, narcissism, and compulsive lying. When I was five, he tried to get me to believe that my mom was cheating on him with a friend of hers and that this guy was gonna steal her away. And I believed him and cried and screamed until my mom promised me that was the case. I only found out, in my late teens, that he was the one that had cheated. Constantly. Eventually they divorced and I moved with my mom to texas after the school year was finished because that gave her time to prepare a place to live for me. Unfortunately during that period where I still lived with my dad... he did a lot of things. And even though (apparently) my grandparents on my mother’s side tried to have me over as much as they could, there was still long amounts of times that I spent with my father.

He exposed me to a lot of shit I shouldn’t have been as a child. Movies with graphic violence and horror (I once had a panic attack when I lost a tooth because I thought that awful lady from darkness falls was gonna come and kill me), nudity and sex. Hell, anime that borderlined into straight up hentai. Only two years ago did I learn from my mother that she always thought my dad was sexually abusing me, but she never had the proof. And maybe she was right. Maybe he did, and I blocked some of it out. He showed me all that stuff, and I remember how he would cling to me in the bed he forced me to share with him and told me I was the only one that loved him and understood. He would buy and show me things I shouldn’t have been seeing and then told me not to tell my mother.

He once brought me over to one of his girlfriends and while I “slept” on the couch, he had sex with his gf right there in the living room just a foot away from where I was. He had only wait... what, five minutes? For me to fall asleep and didn’t even check if I had. I was facing the back of the couch so I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear all of it. I was too afraid to move or even breathe.

That on its own is a lot, but I’m sharing this to give some background into my feelings about this roleplay groups I was a part of over the years.

My first experience with rping was the alvin and the chipmunks oc community on yt. Which was a very niche thing on its own, but there were a LOT of people. It basically boiled down to us coloring over screencaps and fanart to make our ocs, make songs high-pitched and then vid our ocs using the pictures to the songs in wmm and pretending that was our ocs singing them. Some of us communicated via AIM to actually rp our ocs. At the time I was 11/12. I ended up rping with people much older than me, one of whom, the one I rped with the longest and had the greater attachment to, was 16. We rped smut with our ocs. I thought this was normal. They did it with others so why not me as well? They were popular and I was just starting out in the community, so if I did this, then I’d get more attention. And it worked. I got attention from people much older than me and I felt like I was a huge part of this community. All because one of my ocs fucked a more important person’s oc and they got together.

But eventually I fell out of it. I randomly found nondisney crossover videos on yt and began to watch them religiously. Like, really bad ones also made in wmm, but I thought they were so cool. This was way back before editors ever even dreamed of using AE to make seamless masks for their videos. I lefts the aatc group behind to try and make my own. I didn’t have much success until one of my videos blew up and I got a lot of subscribers. I still wasn’t part of what felt like a closely knit community, but I wanted to be. I made silly reaction videos of vidders getting jokingly ‘married’, I commented and liked others videos to try and get noticed by them. Because I was 13 and had no irl friends. 

Then ‘video rps’ began to be a thing. I instantly was enamored, and having experience in rping before, desperately joined. It was fun, at first! I started to connect with more people, they wanted to plot these stupid stuff ideas with me. Then the group decided to move to good ol’, fresh baby-faced tumblr. And I enjoyed that because, at the time, I thought I was a better writer than I was a vidder (news flash I wasn’t good at either of these things sdfkjdns). Somehow, after this move, I became really close with the mods. Both of whom were in the 20s while I was 14 (and just starting high school). One of them called me her ‘wifey’ and I went along with it and did the same. Because I liked the attention. I thought I was important even though, really, none of my characters except two were ever part of any large plots or got attention. They also talked about sexual things with me because my main oc was dating one of the mods’ oc. I remember them solely getting together because of ‘aphrodisiac dust’ too. 

And I’ll admit, I also kinda forced it on my side. The mod had her oc basically in a ‘love triangle’ between my and my friend meg’s ocs. Which is... honestly a Lot now that I think about it. She kept stringing us along, both me and meg being the same age too. So when I saw the oppurtunity of “hey my oc was forced to be really horny and if I get Jen’s oc to fuck mine, that would mean they’ll be together’! So that’s what I did. And it worked. And it was only way later once I really processed what I’d done that I felt like shit for what I did to meg. This adult had basically tried to get us to fight each other of this dumb fucking ship. Haha jokes on u jen, now they’re both lesbians and are dating.

Though before this, when my oc was dating another member’s, that ended... really badly when said member had her boyfriend raped by their other ocs. One the dash. With no warning. Not even telling me about that possibility. It made me feel sick. So I dropped them.

Anyways, yeah. In this rp group I was, once again, exposed to smut and sexual things by those that weren’t just older than me, but also adults. They tried to get me to turn on other people in the group. They were also homophobic which, at the time, had a huge impact on me since I was, even then, trying to figure out what and who I was.

Both mods were controlling, rude, and eventually, all of us decided to split off from them and move our ocs to a new but similar setting. This shift was lead by gansey, who became the new mod. I was also partially close to them, and given that at the time I thought they were a good writer and they were popular, I relished in that attention. I thought of them as an older sibling. But in the end they weren’t all that different from Jen and Usa, the previous mods.

Even back in TOW, Gansey had this strange fascination with cheating. Given that Jen’s oc and mine were dating, and gansey had this (understandable, at the time) hatred for her and Usa, they tried to get their main oc to be... really close with mine. Always close enough to cheating or being seen as romantic but never enough that they could apply plausible deniability to the situation. They even made this weird ‘au’ video of them together without talking to me about it. ...A lot of things were done without talking to me about it.

Their obsession with cheating even extended into TAR, where they kept hinting at one of their ocs being interest with another of mine despite Sonia being in a relationship with Shelly’s Archie. I thought, perhaps, that maybe they wanted it to become an open relationship or poly. And if they had talked about it with Shelly and I and we all agreed with it, that would have been fine. But such a thing was never brought up. When said character suddenly developed an evil demon personality, them trying to force their affection on Sonia became even more obvious. Only now the character had a proper ‘excuse’, being evil and whatnot.

Gansey really did have this weird thing for cheating, ruining other people’s ships, and also dubcon/noncon. And again, Gansey was an adult while I was in high school. These things Just Kept Happening. And even though I thought we were close at the time, I never really was involved in any of their big plots (or really anyone’s) unless it involved some of these concepts.

Eventually I started to talk a lot with Meg because we were the same age and had similar interests. This led to me talking with Shelly more and then Bonnie, Kyle, and Morgan. And I’m so grateful for that. People I had been so afraid of contacting on my own to talk to or be friends because of my insecurity due to everything else became huge parts of my life. For once I felt genuinely included and not just someone to be used by others. We came up with fun plots, character connections, etc. At this point I had both them and friends in high school. I had a place I felt I belonged. I still do. I love them so much. They’re basically family to me.

Anyways, as I got older, it became apparent there was this rift in the rp group. People being purposely excluded because they weren’t seen as ‘good’ rpers, or just because someone who wasn’t ever really active in the rp group didn’t like the other. AKA Roman hating kyle which resulted in him being excluded despite his attempts time and time again to include others lol. Obviously over the years, there wasn’t much left for me in that group outside of my friends. It was barely active anymore and outside of it interactions had become toxic. So it was understandable when Kyle and Meg decided to leave. Funny how once that happened, they only then decided to have an ‘open forum’, with everyone who was normally quiet coming out of the woodworks to bash my friends when they were no longer there.

Some of us called them out after that and left. Though not before we found out that they’d (gansey and their inner circle) been developing another rp setting called FAR (presumably the setting they attempted when they told everyone they were gonna have a 100 time-skip to shake things up, which ended up not happening bc a lot of the group was like wtf) and also added someone to the discord server that most of us didn’t know. This person had been there for months and Gansey never told us despite them being their friend. This was very upsetting because at that point all of in this group had been together for 8 years. We shared personal stuff in that discord server. Things that I’m sure we wouldn’t want strangers seeing. So yeah, a lot of us were upset!

Then Gansey and their friends dogpiled kyle for understandably being mad about being excluded and alienated. Then they dared to have the gall to message me saying they were terrible and sorry and that they’d always be there to listen if I wanted to talk.

So I talked. And what happened after that? Nada. Nothing. They never replied. They weren’t willing to face the hypocrisy of what they’d done.

In the end they had just been another manipulative adult that had only used me when they needed to. That tried to have our characters be sexual when I was just a teen.

All of you were adults. You should have known better. I admired you guys only to have that admiration used to control me. Fuck all of you. Fuck you for the way you treated my friends. Fuck you for having contributed to my trauma on top of everything else I’d experienced. Fuck you, gansey, for your manipulative ‘apology’. Fuck you for your dumb fucking poetry you thought we’d never see, comparing us to corpses and you to sisyphus.

Boo Fucking Hoo. 

You were never really sorry at all. None of you were. You’re were just ashamed you got caught on all your bullshit.

I was boo boo the fool for thinking I actually meant anything to you guys.

[unravelling-the-world]

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

[jsteneil]

Neil Josten’s Birthday Bash

in which the foxes don’t get anything done, ever

 *

Nicky added Dan, Kevin, Aaron and three others to “Neil Josten's Birthday Bash Organization Committee”.

Nicky: can't add Andrew because he still owns a FLIP PHONE but here we go

Dan: hell yeah B-)

Nicky: kevin can fill him in with the details anyway

Kevin: why me?

Allison: because you live with him?

Matt: you're practically attached at the hip

Dan: omg ur roomm8s

Matt: ^^^ what allison said

Dan: yeah

Nicky: OR aaron can do it on wednesdays so that there's no chance of neil finding out :D

Aaron: no.

Aaron left the chat.

Nicky: what

Nicky: the

Kevin: just add him back

Nicky: fuck

Kevin: ffs

Kevin: some ppl are in class

Nicky added Aaron to the chat.

Aaron: im muting you all

Allison: just embrace the fact that you've lived in SC for years and say y'all

Nicky: y'all!!!

Nicky: yeah

Matt: dude don't how are u gonna know when to buy your coordinated outfit and rehearse the choreography if you mute us

Dan: Aaron?

Renee: I do think he muted us

Allison: fuck a crybaby

Nicky: hey

Allison: what's he gonna do? Unmute us?

Dan: asdhskfjdl ALLI

Matt: lmfao

Nicky: moving ON

Nicky: the important thing here is my boy neil's birthday

Kevin: and you wonder why Aaron left

Nicky: what?

Kevin: maybe Neil doesn't want to celebrate his bday

Nicky: no that's too sad

Nicky: next person?

Allison: not to be that bitch

Matt: oh?

Allison: but do we even know when his birthday is?

Allison: fuck you matthew donovan boyd

Matt: sorry i love you

Dan: it was easy

Dan: matt ur easy

Matt: ily babe

Dan: <3

Kevin: jan 19th

Renee: March 31st?

Allison: wait

Dan: uhhhh

Matt: Neil Josten deserves 2 bdayz

Kevin: no jan 19th

Renee: oh i thought we were using the one he chose for himself

Matt: Renee add a smiley face

Renee: :)

Renee: ?

Dan: babe ur mind,,,, im crying

Matt: ikr

Allison: stop using mygf so

Kevin: is it me or does it sound really passive aggressive bitchy with a smiley face

Dan: ye that's the point

Renee: I really wasn't trying to be

Matt: oh no we know, sorry

Matt: i feel bad now

Matt: it was just funny

Matt: sorry

Dan: :(

Renee: It's okay, don’t worry

Renee: :)

Dan: renee STOP i feel like ur going 2 murder me in my sleep

Renee: I could, but I won't

Nicky: im shaking and im not even in your dorm

Allison: and we daily thank god for that

Nicky: hey im an excellent roommate

Nicky: i always leave so cap and matt can have sexy times

Dan: yeah but then u call it sexy time

Allison: ive seen the bathroom nicky

Nicky: that's aaron

Matt: l o l

Kevin: aaron's a neat freak

Allison: exposed

Nicky: erik come get me the people here are mean

Renee: So when's Neil's actual birthday?

Kevin: jan 19th

Nicky: who's gonna ask andrew?

Kevin: HE HAS REAL PAPERS NOW

Kevin: JUST GO CHECK AND LET ME BE IN CLASS IN PEACE

Allison: well okay drama queen

Dan: kevin: *is on the chat as much as us*

Dan: also kevin: guys why r u dragging me here

Matt: it's okay kevin we can talk about it during practice

Renee: Don't goad him, Matt

Dan: lmfao babe u thought

Matt: uh oh

Allison: lol

Dan: we need 2 trounce the ravens nxt wk

Nicky: do we have to

Dan: y'all r hauling ass @ practice or god help me

Nicky: id settle for a close victory

Matt: nicky if you don't help us close the goal next friday im telling neil about his surprise

Nicky: noooooo :'(

Allison: ye renee has enough to do without having to face stuff y'all should have blocked

Renee: Andrew is also a goalkeeper

Allison: yeah but he doesn't give a fuck

Renee: That's neither true nor fair

Dan: i want bragging rights over this vctry, end of the question

Matt: are we just gonna ignore the fact that the fbi chose neil's old bday

Matt: even tho they made him a new identity

Allison: wonder how this conversation went

Nicky: are we ignoring the fact that neil is a goddamn CAPRICORN

Allison: "in my left hand is your birthday date. In my right hand is your other birthday" *shuffles behind his back*

Matt: idk about astrology but I checked and he tried to pass for an aries so what does that tell us?

Dan: shut up adfhskdjs

Nicky: im dying

Kevin: [attached picture]

Matt: did u steal neil's ID

Allison: i thought you were in class

Kevin: he sent it to me

Nicky: his phone can take pics??

Dan: RLY crappy 1s but yeah

Nicky: so all those times andrew refused to send me pics of his Eden’s Twilight's outfits so i could coordinate neil's…

Matt: :/

Kevin: he just doesn't like you

Allison: i would have laughed but you two have been fighting the good fight since last year, dressing neil up

Nicky: hey

Renee: Kevin, that was mean

Nicky: but thanx allison, I think so too

Kevin: sorry

Kevin: he's just difficult?

Nicky: yeah :(

Dan: omg u guys rmr when neil was on k ferdinand's show n he looked like a bite-sized snack in that shirt

Kevin: not exactly what I remember from this interview

Dan: u were pretty 2 <3

Kevin: oh my god

Renee: Didn't Neil keep the clothes?

Nicky: i've never seen him wear them again

Nicky: maybe he STUFFED THEM DOWN THE TOILET

Matt: uh okay

Allison: weird emphasis

Kevin: are you still stuck on that

Dan: what

Kevin: it's what happened with the clothes he wore the first time we went to columbia

Nicky: do you know how expensive that plumber was?

Matt: just a thought but maybe that wouldn't have happened if you didn't force him to come with you and drugged him against his will

Allison: don't tell me someone actually peed on them and tried to flush

Nicky: take it up with andrew

Matt: you literally drove the car

Kevin: what happened in columbia stays in columbia

Allison: omg oh my god

Dan: IM SCREAMING

Nicky: what was i supposed to do, get knifed?

Nicky: also ^^^^ yeah.

Nicky: ANYWAY

Nicky: now that Kevin got us proof that the FBI officially made neil a capricorn again,,

Dan: the fbi be like "oh u thought u could escape ur traumatic past? That's nice buddy

Matt: yeah I don't think beating last year's party is gonna be hard

Dan: here's ur bday n trauma back"

Nicky: HAPPY THOUGHTS

Nicky: :(

Nicky: anyway it's the big 21st, so the first thing in order is BOOZE

Kevin: uh nicky

Renee: He's turning 20?

Matt: what???

Kevin: yeah he aged himself up on his fake papers

Matt: oh my god

Dan: lmfao only neil

Nicky: he is baby

Matt: does. Does he know though. Like did he check when they made him the papers.

Kevin: I'm guessing so

Matt: imagine filling a form or smth and you get the day right but not the year

Renee: Wait Kevin, how did you get neil to send you the pic without telling him about the surprise party?

Nicky: DON'T YOU DARE HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT THE NJBB

Allison: njbb?

Dan: neil josten's bday bash, im guessing

Nicky: Neil Josten's

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Nicky: yes

Allison: it doesn’t sound right

Allison: like, something’s missing in the name

Matt: alli we play a sport named after what you get when you take the s from sexy

Dan: 10 bux kevin wishes he didn't have such a stick up his butt so he could reply with exy is sexy

Allison: im not taking that

Kevin: i actually don't know why she named it that

Kevin: she never told the press and she didn't write it anywhere so

Nicky: :(

Allison: oh

Dan: sorry :(

Renee: Maybe coach knows?

Matt: maybe each letter has a meaning

Kevin: how?

Allison: endangering xylophones yearly?

Matt: EXceptional daY

Matt: and then, boom, it's about your name

Renee: Matt, I like that idea!

Dan: allison, no

Kevin: I'll have to ask coach, renee

Kevin: anyway it was always going to be her name, she invented it

Nicky: someone bring neil in so he can say something super serious about how kevin is a legendary striker whose name is already associated with exy and make us choke with emotion

Kevin: nicky….

Nicky: look it's working and he's not even there

Allison: it's the josten effect

Dan: changing your entire life's beliefs one extremely tragic remark at a time

Matt:...

Matt: someone change the subject im sad

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Kevin: oh yeah nicky asked me how i got neil's ID

Allison: and?

Kevin: i told him i signed him up for his own exynews account so he could stop hogging mine for streaming

Kevin: so i needed his name and birthday

Kevin: and then we got into an argument about date formats

Nicky: dd/mm/yy 4ever

Allison: eww

Kevin: so he sent me a pic instead of writing the date

Dan: it's the european propaganda getting to him

Kevin: i guess i really have to get him an account now

Dan: kevin i know you're entirely serious but that's so funny

Nicky: THE REST OF THE WORLD USES IT

Matt: admit it, you can't wait to go back to Germany because you secretly like the metric system

Nicky: yeah dicks sound bigger if you use centimeters

Dan: didn't need 2 know that

Nicky: not that erik needs that :)

Dan: I DON'T WANNA KNOW

Renee: ….

Matt: honestly im glad i don't understand german or i would never live down all the skyping

Dan: renee's like "can't relate" lmfao

Renee: No indeed

Allison: hell yeah that's my girlfriend

Renee: <3

Allison: hey minyard if you're secretly lurking now is the time to leave

Allison: …

Renee: No, he truly muted us earlier

Dan: are we surprised?

Renee: we'll catch him up on what we decide to do later

Renee: Nicky?

Nicky: oh, yeah!!!

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Matt: here we go again

Dan: mamma mia

[mothman-is-my-girlfriend]

an analysis of gender double bind and male gaze in the x files (or: chris carter, turn your location on)

Long post! I can't make a "read more" break on mobile - sorry!

This semester I'm in a body images class, which also talks about a lot of stereotypes throughout history on various types of people. the professor loves to incorporate sci-fi into the course for us to analyze and I thought, "hey, the x-files is actually a great example of these tropes!"

(I'm not trying to say anything mean about the show! I still love the show dearly, but taking this class definitely made me see it in a different light.)

The gender double bind splits women into two categories - angel v. demon. (take a guess what color these people were ugh 🙄😶) anyway, the more I thought about this, the more I realized, that while Scully is a strong woman who definently inspired thousands of young girls to pursue STEM careers, and could take care of herself, she is actually a good example of the GDB (this abbreviation for gender double bind will be used from here on out) in television.

Before I can discuss why I think this, let's break down what the angel side of the GDB is (we only need this side of it, because there are hardly any POC in the x files, and Scully fits into the angel stereotype, anyway):

no libido

pleasure from serving others

virtuous

does not think for themselves

sacrifices for others

While Scully clearly has thoughts of her own and disagrees with Mulder a great deal of the time, she still makes sacrifices for him (spends less time with her family, cancels dates to work with him, etc. these are only a few I can think of right off the top of my head - if you have more examples for this let me know! this would make a great paper) these sacrifices also tie into the fact that Scully is in a sense constantly working for Mulder. Sure, the audience considers her his equal, but if you think about it... her name is never put on the door. She never gets her own desk. Mulder often runs off and leaves her behind on cases.

My second argument for the GDB with Scully is that she is never really allowed to be sexual on screen. (In the first episode, she even has boring whitey-tighties! I can assure you, 90% of women who are under age 50 would not be caught dead wearing those.) Yeah, I know it was the 90s, but still - It's a running gag on the show that Mulder loves porn, and he's even had a few close encounters with women in the show (ex: that One Vampire when Scully was missing; Detective White (I wanna say that's her name??) from Syzgy.) Sure, Scully is heavily implied to have a one night stand in Never Again, but it's not covered in as much detail as Mulder's encounters. Adding even more evidence to the pile -- William. Scully gets pregnant and has a child, without ever really being shown to have had sex explicitly at any point surrounding that time period in the show. (I know it's implied in All Things, but again, it's not explicit. Sidenote: notice how the slightest mention of Scully being even remotely sexual came from Gillian Anderson, and not the male directors. And even then it's still extremely vague!) They never even confirm in-show that Mulder is the father (but shout-out to the person on tumblr rn circulating the script with the line confirming that Mulder is the dad). William is just the miracle child who popped out from seemingly nowhere.

----

Moving onto Male Gaze! There's... so many examples of this, it's not even funny. I probably won't be able to provide specific examples for a lot of these, because it's been several months since I've watched the show again, and it's just so deeply ingrained into our culture. First, let's break down what male gaze is, and why it's demeaning -- essentially, it is when men view women as sexual objects. Male gaze creates a power imbalance by suggesting that women are objects. It suggests that women are on display for judgment.

One great example of male gaze, (that technically really isn't anyone's fault, it's just that Gillian Really Is That Short) is the "diminutive" way of framing shots. It's where a director frames a shot so that the woman is much smaller than the man, or also frames extreme closeups so that you don't see all of her. (And looking through my camera roll, there definitely are a lot of closeup shots of Scully... but this really doesn't prove anything, necessarily.)

My second example is "fragmentation", which is when a shot is framed so that you only see parts of a woman's body. A great example of this technique is seen in - I want to say Milagro (?) where there are a lot of closeup shots of Scully's face because Padgett is eyeballing her hardcore. I specifically remember a closeup of her lips. Which, I mean... that's pretty clearly sexual.

The episode Milagro actually leads into my third example of male gaze in the X-Files. It's something called "Return Gaze" - where a woman both acknowledges a man sexualizing her, and also returns it. Did it seem weird to anyone else that Scully was "enthralled" by her stalker?? ( I cannot make this up. The official synopsis for the episode describes her as "enthralled" by him. what the fuck.) That's because it was written by a man who thinks that women like being sexualized via male gaze.

My last qualm about how the writers treated Scully in this show doesn't actuall have anything to do with GDB or male gaze, or any of the things I've been learning in class. I just really hate (and always have) that Mulder is always portrayed as the person who is ""right"" so to speak. Even though he always has flimsy cases for his ideas. Even though it's always Scully providing the science behind his ""right"" answers. It's always "lol Scully science is dumb look at this photoshopped photo of a ufo! i am Right™!" Was Mulder technically right about a lot of things? Sure, I'll give him that. But he would never have been able to prove or assert any of his claims without Scully, and I really hate how her science behind his answers was always tossed to the side and made to be less important.

Again, I'm not criticizing the X-Files as a whole, (...except that I am... and I think a lot of in the fandom are rly sick of the shit chris carter put into the show...) I really do love this series. I just thought it would be interesting to share my observations with you all. If you can think of any other good examples of Gender Double Bind or Male Gaze in the X-Files, comment below! I'll add them into this analysis! Who knows, I might even get the chance to make a full blown paper on this.

[ihearvoicesinmyhead]

do that oc meme for seth :3

♥ (01) Is your OC in love? If so, with whom, and for how long?

Yes, Seth is in love w/ Mordan, the love of his life n_n He met him when he and his band were first starting out, and while Seth was closeted at the time he develops feelings for Mordan and they eventually get together and have been together ever since :3

♥ (02) Does another OC love your OC? If so, whom, and does your OC know?

Lol Mordan loves Seth too, although Seth’s dense ass didn’t realize it at first. But now he’s thankful every day someone as perfect as Mordan could love him.

♥ (03) Are there any romantic gestures that your OC loves?

I think what Seth doesn’t want to admit is he likes to feel spoiled, but in more subtle ways than what he’d probably show towards Mordan. Like he appreciates when Mordan cooks for him, or tells him he loves him while they’re cuddling on the couch all night lol If Mordan insists on buying him things he’s glad it’s things like clothes where he can fuss over him the whole time picking out outfits for him to try on and shit... At the end of the day he’s but a simple man w/ simple pleasures and just likes feeling spoiled by Mordan’s love and attention.

♥ (04) Are there any romantic gestures that your OC hates?

It’s hard to think of anything Seth wouldn’t like that Mordan could do for him, he probably wouldn’t like big ostentatious dates on his behalf (mainly bc he wants to be the one planning them to spoil Mordan)…

♥ (05) What is the most romantic thing your OC has done for someone else?

Lol Seth tried to go all out w/ the marriage proposal, but now he’s always trying to top himself bc he can’t let that be his big defining romantic moment w/ Mordan now that they’ve been married for years now.

♥ (06) What is the most romantic thing that has been done for your OC?

Lol honestly he swears anything Mordan does for him is the most romantic thing ever

♥ (07) How successful is your OC at flirting with others?

Well I’d like to think so lmao... but he was kind of a fuckboy back in the day so idk

♥ (08) What is your OC’s dream marriage proposal?

Haha, Seth slaves away planning his proposal to Mordan and is determined to make it perfect. He spends too long deciding on a ring, dragging Mordan’s friends into it making sure it’s the right style and everything. He’ll never admit how much he spent on it (but it’s a lot).

But as for the night, I like to imagine he insists on going to the same place they had their first date, and then pops the question while they’re taking a walk in the nearby park afterwards. It’s like, Christmas Eve too so there’d be pretty lights and decorations to set a Mood. Obvs when the time comes Seth’s nervous as shit, but he’s over the moon when they’re engaged and is casually heart eyes over his new fiancé all of Christmas Day.

♥ (09) What is your OC’s favorite small way to show their love?

Seth really likes writing little love notes and lyrics for Mordan early in the morning while Mordan’s still sleeping. Just a good way to spend the time waiting for Mordan to wake up while also getting his inspiration going lol

He’s written so many songs for and about Mordan too, just his ~muse~ who deserves to be eternalized in his music lol

♥ (10) What is your OC’s favorite big way to show their love?

Lol Seth isn’t really shy about showing his love, just always grabbing him for kisses and cuddles... He’s a big believer in PDA and wants everyone to see how much he loves his husband basically. He really likes treating him to fancy meals at Mordan’s favorite restaurants and stuff too....

♥ (11) What do others love most about your OC?

Probably that he’s a hot buff dude but also dumb puppy idk

♥ (12) What do you love most about your OC?

Lmao he’s my finely tailored oc who’ve I had since like, 2007… He’s changed a lot and grown w/ me so I really appreciate how he’s gone from an edgy boi to soft buff dream man… He’s just rly hot and I appreciate his personality to go with it, esp since we’ve developed our ocs together w/ meth so they’re actually… the best couple ever? like couple goals, could not date bc they’ve set such a high precedent for me sdgdfs Oh Well :)

♥ (13) How does your OC show their love to those that are not their partner(s)?

Basically Seth isn’t going to show you much affection unless you’re close family, and even then his love is mainly reserved for Mordan lol... He likes buying them gifts and things when he visits tho, and appreciates helping his parents/brother any way he can

♥ (14) Does your OC have any romantic traditions?

God idk specifically what this question wants from me but I’m sure they do!!!

♥ (15) What is your OC’s favorite type of Valentine’s Day candy?

Honestly Seth is more content with eating Mordan’s rejects than getting candy of his own. He’s not the biggest chocolate fan, but he’ll obvs take any that Mordan decides to hand feed him lol (if he had a preference tho, I think he’d like the mocha/coffee filling ones the most)

♥ (16) What is your OC’s ideal first date?

Seth would like to think he likes fun simple first dates, like bowling or seeing a movie... but then he meets Mordan who’s all Classy and he lowkey likes the fancy vibes too

♥ (17) Could your OC fall in love with someone they’ve never met in person?

No I don’t think so lol (unless it’s Mordan in some kind of pen pal au)

♥ (18) Does your OC have a “type”?

Skinny bitches lmao… He likes people on the taller side, usually with lighter hair and light eyes. He’s not really aware of it, but he usually goes for the ones who are sassy bitches too

♥ (19) How highly does your OC value love (platonic, romantic, or otherwise)?

Seth wasn’t someone who’s been into the idea of “love”, and basically swore he’d never settle down. But then he meets Mordan and everything changes and suddenly he’s high on love and can’t get enough lol

♥ (20) How does your OC feel about public displays of affection?

He thinks very highly of it... just a combo of wanting everyone to know he’s w/ Mordan + can’t go five minutes w/o putting his hands on Mordan either lol

♥ (21) Does your OC believe in love at first sight?

Lol kind of... he swears it was love at first sight w/ Mordan since he sensed a “spark” between them, but he also spent the first year of their friendship being an oblivious closeted asshole so what’s the real answer here

♥ (22) How often does your OC read romantic literature?

Uhh, never lol... He doesn’t really like to read, but he likes when Mordan gives him plot rundowns of the trashy romance novels he’ll read sometimes bc they’re entertaining at least

♥ (23) What is your OC’s favorite nice thing to do for themselves?

Lmao eating..... But he also likes working out and going to the gym, he also enjoys going out for hikes/camping whenever he can bc he really likes being out in nature...

♥ (24) How does your OC determine that they’re attracted to someone?

He’s pretty shallow so he needs the physical attraction... I’d like to think he takes personality immediately into account too, but... well -.-

♥ (25) Does your OC believe in soulmates?

Yes lol

♥ (26) Is your OC ever the first to say “I love you”?

Lol yes... he’s got the unfiltered thoughts and it basically just pops out suddenly I’m sure

♥ (27) How does your OC typically spend their Valentine’s Day?

Lol just wanting to spoil Mordan the whole day... I think he goes out of his way to get a big ass bouquet of flowers and chocolates and then the two of them going out to dinner or s/t nice that night

♥ (28) What is something unconventional that your OC thinks is romantic?

Lol that his husband is a demon but decided to settle down and marry him?

♥ (29) What is your OC’s favorite love song?

Your Song by Elton John

♥ (30) What is your OC’s favorite romantic movie?

Lol me like “does top gun count?”

[boymeetsweevil]

bts as boyfriends

a/n: tbh this was basically a list of things i just had swirling around in my head and its basically a continuation of my moments w/ bts and sleepovers w/ bts

Kim Seokjin

Squishes your cheeks together in his big ol’ hands because he can and because he thinks you look cute that way

Is highkey a fan of having matching stuff, but not full-blown couple outfits

thats where he draws the line >:|

Created a separate instagram account just to document the meals you guys have together on your date nights

Dumb (but cute) snapchats of him doing that fast yelling thing he does but he just tells you how much he misses you rly aggressively

also spams you with selfies and videos from other members’ accounts

Pets names hmmm

prefers to call you Doll 

yeobo seems too serious (its what his parents call each other)

Sweetie/Honey makes him feel like an old woman

On your one year anniversary he gave you a 5000 dollar watch but presented it in a box wrapped in printer paper that had his face printed all over it that he made in Microsoft word with some of the editing crew’s help

all of his gifts get wrapped this way 

Jin Is scary serious when you take a selfie together

“Babe, this isn’t the angle--quick lets move over here so we can still catch the light” ***proceeds to sprint ahead of you to some random spot where the lighting is optimal and hurry u over like “ >:( cmon the sun is setting” ***

Is not your typical PDA type, will do weird things just to embarrass you

puts his hand in your back pocket while you’re in the starbucks line and smiles when you give him incredulous side eye

rests his phone on your head to mock you for being shorter than him

Links arms with you like old lady gal pals while you’re walking because he knows you HATE IT

fake moans when you swat his arm for being weird and embarrassing

you shushing him and ending up just glaring because he has no shame and there’s an old man glaring at u on the subway

You can bet he tests out recipes on you!

some of ur most romantic nights have been when you come over just casually but the whole house smells like food he’s been tweaking

you sit at a stool by the kitchen island and he comes by with like 8 different sauces you need to try and noodles to test for texture

He is the type of boyfriend that thinks its funny to gross you out

he eats food the fell on the floor just to piss you off

will kiss u while he’s chewing gum :(

touches u with his bare feet  :((((((

Min Yoongi

Is less bold but NEVER lacking with his affection

Likes to take walks in any weather

E.g. Loves when its rainy because then you have to huddle close because he INSIsts on sharing an umbrella

E.g. Will even walk in the winter/end of fall because he likes to share mittens and scarves - this is the closest thing to cheesy you will ever get with him

Isn’t the type to send selfies

if he does, its just of his shoes of the day with an ironic caption like “rate my fit and i’ll follow back” 

Readily accepts all of your selfies, though

Upgraded his phone 2x just so he could have the extra storage to save all your photos

a lot of them are blackmail worthy, which is the reason for saving them half the time

Yoongi Is a champ when you get drunk

will hold your hair back

lets you spit your gum out into his bare fucking hand before u hurl and will not flinch 

rejects all of your lewd propositions, but may record you and play back your whiny drunk voice the next morning to make you reconsider taking shots next time (PS u dont ever reconsider)

he likes home dates too, obvi

usually you schedule naps at his place because everything about his bedroom is better than yours

mattress is huge and the perfect firmness

sheets are higher thread-count 

can sleep with his hand up your shirt all he wants because he doesn’t have any roommates at his own place

pillows are always cool to the touch BUT

he might schedule dates at your place if he’s been away and just wants to bury himself in your smell. Speaking of...

...Yoongo is a smeller

he is always smelling you, loves how you smell

He smells your hair while zoning out waiting for his americano to come out when ur at a cafe

He’ll wrap himself around you from behind and sniff your neck idly while he plays candy crush on your belly while u try to cook dinner

Nicknames vary on his mood/your behavior

brat - for when you’re being a brat duh

kid - default, all purpose and a little mocking

your last name when he’s feeling rowdy

your first name when he’s emotional

Jung Hoseok

Hobi always runs full force at u when he sees you even if you’ve been in each other’s faces all week

Whenever he’s bored and you’re nearby he’ll moonwalk around you

You love to watch him practice but you also hate it because if you make eye contact he’ll come over and try to pull you in to teach you

He’s tried to teach you to dance dozens of times and you never get any of his choreo

usually it ends in him maneuvering you into a slow 2 step

which then always becomes a tiny makeout session

but honestly so many other random activities you do together turn into makeout sessions because tbh hob is a bit of a greaseball

this means that half the time you’re ignoring him pawing at u and making cheesy jokes during inopportune times 

the other half of the time ur dragging him by the collar and looking for an empty room to take him into because u dig him and his cheesy horndog antics

He’s also lowkey highkey a dudebro

crowds you because he wants to chest bump and ur like “-.- again?”

kept trying to get your secret couple greeting to be that little surfer hand thingie he does with tae sometimes and u said no because neither of u are 8 anymore

likes spontaneous dates, so usually you’ll text him wyd and if he’s free he’ll just answer ‘coming to get u now’ and then you sigh and slip on your shoes and wonder when you’ll be able to have a date where its not 10:30 at night and you’re not wearing sweats and ur not going out just to go eat some chicken by the Han

You utilize all your privileges that you have dating him to visit Mickey

any time there is a break in the guys’ scheduling you say you want to visit mickey

He lowkey hates those days because you just lie on the floor next to mickey and eat the snacks his mom puts out and COMPLETELY ignore him

u and his sister take turns petting mickey and telling embarrassing stories about hob while he sulks in the corner

he gets revenge by taking 20 pics of ur back and doodling horns on ur head and spamming u with them

Probably would call you a bunch of weird things as a pet name

ducky, peaches, cutie, hotpot, captain etc.

sometimes calls you sweet thang but only when its after dark and he’s trying to make moves

Hobi is the type to always want idle touch but its not exclusively sexy u kno?

if you’re watching tv together he’ll have an arm slung over you

if you’re out to dinner, he gravitates towards booths so he can press his shoulder against yours

if you’re chilling in bed you HAVE to be rubbing his arm or else he’ll give you the most ridiculous pout [its so cute tho :’C ]

Thinks you’re the funniest person alive, is always laughing at stuff you said whether if was supposed to be a joke or not

which means he does that deep hiccuping giggle all the time and you just :’))))))

He’s so patient and let’s you test out all your new skin care products on him because he likes having your hands on his face and the way you talk softly half to him, half to yourself while you talk about what you’re doing

maybe its ASMR lmao

Kim Namjoon

The first thought you had after you started dating was that you could touch his dimples any time you wanted

so naturally you do

he has long since gotten used to you just touching them while he’s driving, reading, listening to music, just existing

the first time you did it he was just talking to you about something and when he felt your finger nudge his dimple 

Joon: “I feel like if we visited in the spring we could go frog catching and maybe then we could-----*you jam your finger into his dimple*

You: and? what were you saying?

Joon: uhhhh I forgot :0

a fan of couple outfits but not in the same sense Jin. its more like he likes to plan your outfits

he gets really excited when he thinks of something you would look good in and always gets really bashful right before he shows it to you because he wants you to like it

he has great taste and is very observant of u and ur style so there has never been a time where he has planned an outfit for u and u looked less than amazing

same for photos, he takes really good artsy photos of you all the time

thats what 80% of dates with him are

walking through the city at night so he can take a picture of you with the city scape behind you

or going to those instagram-able cafes in the city during their slow hours so he can pictures of your coffees and you sitting next to a pastel neon sign that says like Love Hurts or something edgy like that

taking photos like that one girl and her bf who travel alot on ig, u know the one

but u never actually manage to get a good shot like that because ur always like ‘joon my arm hurts why dont u be the girl’

He’s in general big on googling popular activities and getaways and making a big deal of documenting it 

as a result: he’s been working on a scrapbook and he thinks you don’t know but you and all 6 other members and even Bang PD know about the scrapbook

he gives it to you on your anniversary and even though youre expecting it, you cry

he takes photos of that too and it goes in the one for next yr lol

He calls you baby of course

but not in an exaggerated/pronounced way

it comes out super naturally and he says it more than he says your actual name

u better Get used to just turning around and catching him giving you that one soft smile he does with his whole face 

“is there something on my face?” 

“no, just enjoying the view <3”

Always wants to make your plate when u visit his home, and always ALWAYS gives you too much food

going there and realizing that maybe its a family thing as you watch his mom heftily scoop vegetables onto his dad’s plate while his dad looks on in worry about where he’s going to fit it

Using Joon’s lap as a pillow!!!

he can read and stroke your head while you snooze

him humming off key because he thinks it helps you sleep

Park Jimin

Before you started dating, Jimin seemed like the guy that everyone loves because he’s effortlessly cool and charming

And he is even after you start dating BUT

He is also a little praise monster and lives for your compliments

Jimin takes advantage of the fact that you are obviously enamored with him and will do things to fluster you on purpose

runs his hands through his hair because he knows you can’t look away

gets unnecessarily close to tell you things because he knows you get goosebumps when he whispers in your ear

plays chicken with you all the time

slow looks at u until u squirm

HE’s a menace

but also reminds you of a bumblebee

Jimin loves to go to see the latest comedy movies and those are always fun

Not because the movies are actually that funny (lowkey he has really bad taste in comedy movies), but because he will LOSE IT in the middle of the theatre and end up slumped over the armrest just laughing his head off

Cue the high squeaky laugh where he can’t even see the movie screen anymore because his eyes are squeezed shut :3

After the movie he always tries to retell funny scenes like

“And then *laughs* did you see the part where the guy *laughs* *laughs more* and then he *dolphin noises*

“Yeah, Minnie it was funny”

He always wants you to come to the gym with him because he gets an unnecessary amount of motivation from those gym couple accounts on instagram

You go in your big t-shirt and shorts and he goes in a similar outfit 

It always ends up with u watching him because again he looks good when he lifts weights and does squats

he likes the attention too 

Calls u cutie

but thinks its funny to sometimes address u as his favorite anime villian’s name ur always like hmm time to go now

He’s a feeder kinda like joon

YOu can’t ever eat anything by yourself, he always wants to cut things for you, spoon feed you 

he’s very caring

This means he also is super attentive when ur sick and will bring u soup and play cards in bed and always refresh ur water and bother u about taking medicine

Kim Taehyung

Everything with Taehyung is beautiful and u feel beautiful with him which is so amazing and crazy at the same time

He is a big cheerleader for u he loves everything u do

You made a badly folded origami and he shouted cute and was so genuine and got it laminated somehow and keeps it as a keychain accessory

He’s always showing you things

like some of his favorite classical art pieces that he’s saved pictures of on his phone

sometimes he tells you about how he can’t wait to plan the perfect trip to europe with u so u can visit some of his favorite pieces face to face

Always showing u his new (and old) favorite songs and movies

some of ur dates are going to see old films or foreign films at this one really hip theatre in the city

he bought a gramophone a little while back before u started dating and he loves to play records for you and lie with you on the floor and show u  the best parts of the song with his hands in the air

He has a fancy camera too that he uses to document “special moments”

when u asked him how come he always uses it to take picture of u then he was like everything with u is special and u had to tackle him and cover his whole face in kisses because he cant just say things like that without facing the consequences

He keeps a journal where he doodles in the margins and writes songs and poems that only some people have seen like yoongi or jimin

he tried to draw you once and it came out looking a little strange but he’s still learning and u love him for it

He also gets soo sooo excited when you show him your favorite things

u dont do it as much because they dont seem as cultured or pretty but u show him a movie from ur childhood that u still watch once or twice a year and his eyes were huge the whole time and he was so glad to watch it with you

Calls u Jagi because he likes what it means and its truly accurate

U guys are just on the same wavelength and he really appreciates that u dont find him weird or quirky or overly pretentious even

u finish each others sentences and can predict moods pretty well its a little scary for the guys to watch u talk to each other in half sentences and know what the other means

When u first met, it was through Joon because he thought u guys would click and he was super nervous and worried because a lot of ppl don’t really GET him

Maybe at ur blind date a song came on in the restuarant u were in and it was a song he really liked

and then u were really shyly like “it feels like when you find a really special spot in the woods that nobody knows about” and hes like

“yeah, it really does” and then goes home and writes ur name 20 times in his notebook before getting the courage to call u about a 2nd date

Jeon Jungkook

You already know what it is with this kid: MEME CENTRAL

seriously ur texts are like 80% reaction pictures you downloaded off the internet that just get cycled over and over again because they’ve started to replace certain common phrases and emotions

Yoongi tried to jack JKs phone once and read the messages out loud to the members to try and embarrass him and he actually couldn’t read the last 24 hours of messages because it was literally all pictures/emojis

JK thinks ur laugh is the best sound he’s ever heard and is always trying to bring it out

he makes so many weird faces

those also become memes in the chat

he does so many exaggerated moves from choreo just to get u to crack up

does random weird things with his voice at inappropriate times to get u to choke

Like Jimin he is a praise monster

he wants u to think he’s impressive because he thinks ur very accomplished and cool and he’s still very much the young shy boy he was before joining the band.

Does flips because he knows u love it and won’t leave u alone until u confirm that u are in fact watching

JK: “Hey, hey, watch this LOOK are u looking?”

YOU: “Yes oh my god what?”

JK:*Does a backflip*

YOU:.........DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDEEE WTF ITS LIT IN HERE

JK: *internally* i can die now

Get ready for some next level cuteness OMG

the little nose scrunch will become the most frequent thing

u will be ruffling his hair and it’ll tickle so he’ll scrunch his nose and u’ll just explode its amazing

The BABY SMILE every time its been a while since you’ve seen each other

You’ll practically tackle him and he loves it and spins u around a little too fast

Those big sparkly eyes that he has?????

prepare for those when its his night to cook but he doesn’t feel like it and says he wants to order pizza for the billionth time

You can’t say no to him ever

gaming is not your thing but he will rope you into a 3 hour Fortnight tutorial because u love him

Not really big on pet names, or like any names for that matter

but he will use your actual name for when he wants ur undivided attention

Is scared that you think he’s immature so sometimes he’ll try to go a day without making a joke and then its ur job to try your hardest to crack him up

this is good because ultimately u also love his high pitched loud laugh 

[changji]

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

[seojvns]

everything you didn’t care to know about seojun yoon. 

basic statistics.

full name: seojun yoon. 

nickname: jun, junnie, seo. 

how'd they get it?: they’re just... variations of his name...

age: twenty one. 

date of birth: april 27th. 

zodiac: taurus. 

gender: male. 

sexual orientation: pansexual. 

when did they realize this?: around the age he started being interested in people. it’s never been something he’s struggled with, it’s jus how things were/are. 

nationality: american.

hometown: daejeon, south korea.

current residence: cortland, wisconsin.

occupation: freelance photographer. 

for how long?: umm, probably since high school?? he started out doing it for free, to build his resume, and over time he began building it into something he could actually make money from. not much, but !! getting paid for doing something he loves?? really couldn’t ask for more than that. 

do they like his/her job?: obvs!!! does he wish he could have a lot more clients?? ya, but he’s patient and he’s got the time. 

salary: mm, depends on the job but probably anywhere from $150-250/job. 

family.

any significant ancestors?: ummmm, no. 

grandparents (describe relationship): he was really close to his grandmother, on his mom’s side, who passed away a few years ago. he’s close to his grandfather from that side too, but he’s a bit old fashioned in his views and sometimes conversations are... not really something he can take much from. but he likes his company, and overall they have a good relationship. his grandparents on his father’s side both died before he really got a chance to even know them. 

aunts/uncles (describe relationship): there’s definitely a distance. when he was younger, he’d see more of them, and his cousins too, but as he grew up... it became less of a tradition his parents and his aunts/uncles bothered to keep up with. he sees them at family gatherings, usually around holidays, but that’s about it. 

parents (describe relationship): there’s a lot of distance between him and his parents. his father’s always been distant, even at a young age he wasn’t very invested in seojun. but he’d buy him things, assuming that was a decent enough way to show his ‘love,’ but it only made seojun resentful of the money he tried to use in an attempt to get out of actually caring or showing interest. his mother, on the other hand, cared. but only when he was young. from the time he was adopted, at age five, until about eleven. after that she became more disinterested in him. she also started nitpicking him a lot?? like no snacks, finding a poem and critiquing it, etc. support wasn’t something he was given, which is why he’s become such a desperate lil people pleaser. 

are they still together?: yes, yep. 

what is the character's family life like: it was really lonely growing up, cause even if everyone was home they’d all be off doing their own things. usually seojun was in his room writing, or out exploring and taking photos. he probably would’ve found his way to his hobbies regardless, but their neglect definitely encouraged him to explore them in a way he might not have done much sooner. 

what does their family love most about them?: hmm, probably his manners. he’s a good boy and he’d never embarrass them or anything when they drag him to events or parties, so, yeah! 

hate?: they see him as too shy, and lacking of a personality, but really that’s just because they’ve kind of made him feel like he should just keep quiet and do what he’s told :/ and that’s exactly what he does. 

does the family have a specific set of values?: his parents are very much the type of people who want everything to look perfect on the outside, and not care much about how they actually are on the inside. 

what would their family be described like by another person?: reserved, well put together, successful. 

have they ever had any pets?: he did! he had a dog, a samoyed, which he got from his parents for his seventh birthday. his name was ghost,, original, i know!

what happened to them?: he died a few years ago :/ it was a rly rough time for jun, who basically had him throughout his entire childhood. 

relationships.

are they a virgin?: umm, nope. 

how did they lose it?: i’m embarrassed just thinkin abt it. 

have they ever cheated on a partner?: never would he ever!!! 

has a partner ever cheated on them?: probably. 

how did they react?: better question - did he ever find out? doubtful. 

who was their first crush?: hard to say :/ he gets a new crush everyday :/ 

are they in any kind of romantic relationship?: no!! 

how serious/relaxed is it?: hmph. 

describe the relationship with their current partner: this is... pointless... 

how did they meet?: why ask so many questions based on the POTENTIAL of him bein in a relationship... 

who made the first move?: prob not seojun in any situation ... he’s not very bold 

how does your character truly feel about their partner?: this.... is so redundant... 

when did they realize this?: thank u, next! 

who is your characters closest friend?: minnie uwu 

how did they meet?: umm they’ve been bffs for as long as seojun can remember okay!!! so how they met is just one of those things he doesn’t... rly remember bc it feels like he’s known her his WHOLE entire life, u know?? 

why do they get along so well?: because they’re both cute and soft and they just vibe together well ok,, why question these things?? there’s been so many late nights up talking about anything n everything, so many heartbreaks that she’s been there for, so many adventures they’ve had n have yet to have... she’s his other half!!! <333 

describe relationship with any other significant friends: adrian’s one of the most important ppl to him ?? like ever?? cause he’s jun’s best friend but also a lot more than that. even though they can’t seem to get things right, he’s always gonna have feels for adrian. kian......... gross where do i even begin!!!! seojun would literally die for kian. he’s more than his roomie ok seojun’s so disgustingly attached that no matter what kian did he’d never leave his side lmao #dedicated. jiwon is who seojun would be if he could choose his life sjfsfks she’s jus so,, uwu perfect n everything he aspires to be. he LUVS her even tho she can lowkey be a lil scary?? not in like a way that he’s legit scared but like... she can be intimidating a lil bit. rt if u agree

favorites.

favorite foods: sushi, korean fried chicken, fries. 

least favorite food: black licorice, celery. 

favorite colors: pale yellow and light pink. 

least favorite color: whatever the fuck u call the color blue that tumblr chose for the new bg color fksdjfs

music: pop, r&b. 

literature: mysteries!! 

smell: honeysuckles, bonfires, fresh bread. 

feeling: affection uwu

season: autumn. 

pets: dogs, but... he loves cats too :/ 

place: hmm, he’s really drawn to the woods?? like when he was younger he’d go into the woods with his camera and a book and just spend all fucking day out there. there’s something really peaceful about it ?? and there’s just so much to experience... the woods jus make him soft, k?? 

favorite sport(s): huh

possession this character values most: his camera!!!!!!!! his journals filled with poems about everyone he knows. 

why is it so important to them?: um, his camera is p obvious?? his poetry filled journals, well, that’s p obvious too. he doesn’t want to forget how he felt in the moments where he was inspired to write whatever he wrote. 

physical characteristics.

height: 5′8′‘. 

weight: 130 lbs. 

body build: slim. 

eye color: brown. 

glasses or contact lenses?: contact lenses, but sometimes he’ll wear his glasses when he’s feelin’ lazy. 

hair color: naturally it’s black, but he prob keeps it either light pink or blond.  

scent: tbh idk what to answer for this, describing someone’s natural scent... hard. 

voice: he’s got a soft voice :/ 

mannerisms: says ‘um’ and ‘uh’ too much, whining about nothing, watching anything/everything with subtitles, turns the tab on a soda can sideways. 

style: comfy clothing mostly?? like loose fitting tops and form fitting bottoms. 

how do they walk?: like a fucking model tbh??? 

what are their nervous tics: he’s blushing 99% of the time tbh,, nose scrunches, averting his gaze 

usual body posture: umm, i’d say he’s got p good posture?? idk,,

preferred clothing.

underwear: boxer briefs babey!

shirts: loose!! t-shirts, flannels, hoodies. anything oversized. 

pants: usually black jeans, like, 9 times out of 10. 

skirts: nah. 

jackets: more oversized shit. 

shoes: prob jus black boots? 

accessories: earrings, rings, make up. make up isn’t an accessory rly but i dunno where else to put that so yayuh that’s a thing. 

formal wear: umm he’s a classic black suit kinda guy, prob w a bowtie, idk. 

sleeping wear: t-shirts and boxer briefs,, do ppl ... actually have real pajamas? like in real life? 

swimming wear: swim trunks ig?? weird question but ok. 

intellectual/mental/personality attributes and attitudes.

did they go to school?: ya, duh. 

where?: west bridge!!! 

what did they learn?: he’s studying photography :-)

what were their grades like?: uh, they’re alright... could be better... he wants to do better but his focus is usually just... anywhere but where it should be. so he procrastinates, and turns in things late a lot, and still is trying to do better. 

native language: korean. 

do they know any other languages?: english. 

how smart are they?: not... very... both book smart and street smart. 

what is their strengths?: creativity, generosity, compassion. 

weaknesses?: time management, insecurity, awareness. 

character's short-term goals in life: don’t go to jail, pass all classes. 

character's long-term goals in life: have a lil photography studio and live happily ever after uwu

how does your character see themselves?: umm, he’s self aware enough to know that he’s kind of sheepish?? he feels like he’s probably awkward in,, so many situations, rip, but he tries his best to not be too weird skfjs 

how does your character believe they are perceived by others?: as a soft boy who wants to be everyone’s friend?? hopefully?? 

how self-confident is your character?: UM LOL NOT AT ALL

what makes their self-confidence waver?: everything,, he just never feels like he’s good enough?? prob because of his mom’s nitpicking, his parents’ lack of interest generally, and the fact that he just has a low self esteem overall. 

what would embarrass your character the most?: being put on the spot about anything, having too much attention, falling for someone who doesn’t like him. 

how does your character feel about love: he!! loves love!!! he rly thinks that there’s someone out there for everyone... maybe not in a ~soulmates~ sense, but he thinks that companionship is a big part of happiness.

about crime: he doesn’t commit crimes... often... but if he does it’s because he can be talked into almost anything. 

people of a different sexuality?: loves everyone, thanks. 

different nationality/race?: loves everyone, thanks. 

how does your character show affection/love?: listening to them n remembering things they’re told, hand holding, doing literally anything they ask. 

how does your character handle grief? not well. especially in the case of manon, which has left him with a terrible sleeping pattern and the heavy feeling of guilt. 

what are they like when they cry?: prob like really dramatic,, like cry a lot while curled up in his bed under the covers kinda cry. 

what can make them cry?: betrayal, loss, anxiousness, stress. 

how does your character handle physical pain?: not well, he probably whines a lot and pouts even more. 

emotional pain?: even worse. he’s so forgiving that even if someone hurt him emotionally, he’d forgive them, but he’d probably be lowkey sad (but in a self blame kind of way) about it for awhile.

is your character typically a leader or a follower?: big time follower. 

what kind of energy level does your character typically display?: soft, upbeat, 

describe their sense of humor: prob either lame or softly sarcastic. 

hobbies: takin pics, writing poems, making playlists for people that’ll never hear them, watching shows instead of studying. 

talents: ...takin pics, writing poems, making playlists for people that’ll never hear them...

extremely unskilled at: focusing! and sports. 

if any, what musical instruments can they play?: piano :-) 

emotional characteristics.

how does the character relate to others?: through soft interactions and deep conversations. he’s pretty honest and open, so if someone asks him something, or even just talks to him, chances are he’s being as open with them as he would be with his close friends. 

how does the character deal with anger?: not well, but when he’s angry, he’s usually more upset than angry? and he wants to resolve things as quickly as possible, otherwise he’s stressed abt it until it’s fixed. 

with sadness?: listens to sad music and cries in the shower. drama queen. 

with conflict?: he’s always the first to apologize. 

with change?: he’s actually pretty adaptable for the most part?? but if it were like a major change, maybe not as good. 

with loss?: ummm, could be better!! probably gets a lil distant when he’s dealing with a loss. 

what does your character want out of life?: happiness :/ 

what would your character like to change in his/her life?: the whole manon thing JFKLSF

what motivates your character?: his future, or at least the ideal future he has in mind for himself. 

what frightens your character?: the fact that they could get caught for covering up a murder perhaps??? terrifying. 

are they afraid of the dark?: ...yes, but he acts like he isn’t cause he’s embarrassed. 

death?: not really?? like he doesn’t WANT to die or anything, but he’s not afraid of death.

what makes your character happy?: listening to good music, giving people things that make him think of them, the photo editing process. 

sad?: being alone, the fact that his parents never care to check up on him, films where the main couple doesn’t end up together.

angry?: people being rude to his friends, being lied to, unnecessarily passive aggressive people. 

aroused?: neck kisses, being called baby, someone who’s rly direct and just kind of... does what they want skjfsl 

annoyed?: people who speak over other people.

guilty?: covering up a potential murder, turning things in late, lying. 

is your character judgmental of others?: no. even if he doesn’t agree with their opinions/things they do he still tries to refrain from judgment. 

is your character generous or stingy?: generous af. 

is your character generally polite or rude?: polite!! angel boy. 

optimistic or pessimistic?: optimistic. 

introvert or extrovert?: lil bit of both?? 

daredevil or cautious?: cautious. 

logical or emotional?: emotional lmao. 

disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?: he thinks he’s methodical and neat but he’s actually disorderly and messy. 

would they rather be working or relaxing?: working, even though he thinks he’d rather be chillin he’s kind of terrible at doing nothing. 

how do they feel about animals?: um... he loves them?? he’s the kind of person that’d accidentally let a raccoon in his house and let it stay. 

what is their best quality?: his sincerity. 

what is their biggest flaw?: how trusting he is. 

[kelleyoracist]

Uuuuu, can't wait for tomorrow ! Whats the title of this dog chasing fic anyways? And can you tell us more about the wct au?

First of all I’d like to say that the names of these fics (5t au, wct, etc) aren’t the actual names that like, I’ll post the fic under. They’re just the names I use to organize them & it’s what I refer to them as lol. Same as how “A fine line b/w love & in love etc.” I refer to as “pt&p oh my” bc that’s what i tag it as, that’s what the folder i use is called, etc lol so I’m not gonna post these w these lame ass names I just don’t like to come up w a name for fic till it’s completely planned out

Also the real name of the dog fic will be called “Dogs & Dates” for reasons that will be obvious when I I post it 5-10 mins from now

OKAY so wct stands for “woso conspiracy theory” & it started as this dumb joke abt how talex was real all along & theoretically it’s what “””really happened””” but obvi it isn’t rly lmao (also kind of spoiler warning but the good part is in all the details but i do talk abt the general concepts throughout the whole thing so I’ll put it under the cut)

So am was roped into signing this deal w us socc bc they were like “we’ll make you the face of women’s soccer all u have to do is be our poster girl & marry a nice guy who is also a soccer player & all of ur dreams will come true” and she’s dumb & barely 23 & has a money-hungry agent so she’s like uhm?? Hell yeah buddy

SO she starts dating th at abt the same time & th is supportive bc how can she be like “no, alex ik this is your dream & your agent says it’s a good idea but also i don’t want you to have a fake marriage bc i like you” so they date & tobin is cool w it, she gets it, am has to go to events w him & whatever but they live in portland together so like...they can basically just forget he exists most of the time. & then us socc notices that ppl are all ta/ex crazy so they’re like “no look, th is just easily lovable” & starts advertising cp & th’s friendship & th & am are still together but the fans are like wow...pre@th… & us socc is like “oh no….whatever shall we do...it’s not like that was exactly what we wanted to happen…”

& anyway eventually it becomes too much for am & th (obvs) so [redacted  & then bc cp has been there for her & they’ve gotten close over the past few months that she & am have been having problems th is like wow… someone who hasn’t literally signed their ability to marry someone away… that sounds p ideal & cp is basically already a lil in love w her (on accident way to go cp) so [redacted]

& am doesn’t love servando bc she never has not since this whole deal happened sure they dated in college but they broke up for a reason and am still doesn’t love him so after she & th break up she rly tries to love him, she does, but she just can’t & she never rly stops loving tobin bc the reason they broke up was bc everything was so hard w servando in the picture (understandably so)

So THEN, obviously, the secret gets out because [redacted] & am is like wow… now I can be w Tobin… but like ur too late am, like 2 yrs too late, but am is like don’t u still love me our problem is fixed we can be happy now & th is like hm…[redacted] & then everything is SHIT for am bc her marriage (even if it was fake) just blew up & the secret is out & she’s basically a pariah & she has 0 friends & 0 ppl who love her & then 1 person (kelley, obvi) shows up & is like hey Al...first of all wtf I knew u were too good for him, second of all it’ll all be alright trust me i’m here for u & then they [redacted]