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#since you both asked me as well ^^
yunwooz · 2 years
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SANCHELINZ’S GIFFING PROCESS
hi hi so i figured i would compile a post for my giffing process as i have gotten several questions about how i gif so quickly/what i use/etc so! 
tools i use:
- vapoursynth - photoshop
specs:
i have two devices that i gif on, i just switch between the two depending on where i’m at.
for my desktop computer, i have an alienware aurora r11
- processor: intel core i7-10700K - ram (memory): 32.0GB - os: windows 11
for my laptop, i have a dell xps 15 9500
- processor: intel core i7-10875H - ram (memory): 16.0GB - os: windows 10
if you want see a side by side comparison of gifs i make on each, all my paradigm sets were made on my laptop (here, here, here, and here) while my taemin gifs and these two key mv sets were made on my desktop (here, here, and here). they generally look the exact same, my desktop is just faster bc it has more memory.
things i do first:
i always clip the video i’m working with first by writing out the timestamps i want to use solely bc that is what works best and quickest for me. every gifmaker is different and will have different tactics, but that’s just what i’m used to and what helps me expedite the process the most!
clipping things this way means that i spend less time rifling through frames and shots to find what i like bc i just make note of the timestamp where a certain shot i like is and can push it through the vapoursynth real easy
vapoursynth settings:
for vapoursynth i try not to do too much since i do most my work inside photoshop itself, and i keep these settings the same 100% of the time. and rather than going through each individual gif, i overwrite the code each time i start a new set so that i can keep the sizes the same from gif to gif. this also cuts down on time and makes it easier to focus on other parts of the process
video = core.knlm.KNLMeansCL(video, 0, 6, 4, 0.5, channels="YUV") video = fun.FineSharp(video, sstr=1.5)
i only use a preprocessor (video = haf.QTGMC(video, Preset="Slower", TFF=True) bilinear) when the file i’m working with overlaps frames or has that ‘striping’ effect on it.
i trim all my clips/gifs on vs to start! if a gif ends up being too large, or i don’t like certain frames, or i don’t like the way it loops, i’ll simply delete as needed later in photoshop!
once i get my output and it processes (the processing time of the gifs is usually what takes the longest and i have found that this speed depends mostly on your device’s memory. my desktop is much faster than my laptop bc my desktop has twice the amount of memory on it) i copy and paste the output file into a generic copy like this. if i’m making a ton of clips (20-30+) then i will name them or separate into folders as needed
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photoshop:
firstly, photoshop is very dependant on memory as well. the sole reason why my desktop has so much memory is bc of photoshop. you can go into settings to change how much memory photoshop consumes (edit -> preferences -> performance) and photoshop will recommend an ideal range to use too. i have mine set to 70% and it runs like a dream. the only crashes i’ve experienced have been when i’m running other programs that use a lot of memory at the same time.
i monitor my task manager regularly simply bc i like knowing why my computer is running the way it is and i can confirm that photoshop eats memory hardcore. if you use both vapoursynth and photoshop, and have issues with slowness and/or crashes, i recommend keeping photoshop closed until you are fully done with vapoursynth.
i don’t reuse colorings from set to set so i don’t really keep/use psds personally. i know a lot of gifmakers do have set psds that they make to use for certain kinds of videos and such, and that is def something that can speed up the process too ^^
what i personally do is group my coloring layers into a folder and once i’ve finished coloring one gif i will simply copy and paste it onto the next and make minor adjustments as needed!
coloring itself, it depends from set to set but the five layers i absolutely always use are: brightness/contrast, color balance, channel mixer, selective color, and exposure (i always keep my exposure layer on the very top, it’s a minor change but just a personal preference)
i try to make everything as easy as possible when giffing personally, so if i can turn a 20 click process into one click, then i absolutely will. 
90% of the speed of my giffing comes from actions!
actions are my best best best friend in the universe when it comes to giffing. i have the same action sets on both my laptop and desktop so that i don’t have to remember my settings myself since my memory is horrible.
first convert: select all frames, select all layers, convert frame animation, convert to smart object
compile: select all layers, convert to smart object
0.02/0.03/0.04/0.05/0.06: frame speed settings/ selecting all frames, change frame animation speed
blur: for captions, i duplicate the og layer and select the area around the caption then use gaussian blur at radius 1.4 pixels to blur. i typically go in after the fact with the blurring tool to smooth the edges around the blur section so it isn’t as sharp!
i have an action for my noise settings to maximize efficiency too, then i do the same for my denoise/sharpening settings. i have two separate ones, one for small gifs (like for a 9-set, 3x3) and one for all other sizes of gifs
the final convert is simply flattening the frames into clips and converting the timeline, making frames from layers, then setting it to whatever speed i like. because im ultra lazy, i have those frame speed settings as an action so i can just do one click instead of like, three. 
essentially, if there is something i know i will be doing and/or repeating often, i make it an action. that’s really what makes my process as quick as it is imo!
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honestly i just try to streamline the process as much as possible bc the technical parts of clicking 100 different things are not what i enjoy about giffing, i enjoy coloring and playing with layers the most so that’s what i want to spend the brunt of my time doing. but i also tend to be super busy while also wanting to gif a ton so over time and with practice a lot of the process has become pretty snappy and easy just from that!
pls feel free to ask questions if anything doesn’t make sense im not the best at communicating my thoughts into words so i might be explaining things in a way only i can understand but i hope it makes sense enough and is helpful too!!
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codacheetah · 3 months
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Tell me your opinions on the stuff. Any stuff.
Grins. Smiles, even
I'm using you as an excuse to infodump my theory about the Island because I've had no in to do that, and my theory is pure opinion. Anyways:
THE ISLAND IS STUCK IN THE FUCKING FUTURE
(SCARE CHORD)
Hi so you might ask me. What the fuck do you mean by that. Well. Let's start with what we know about the Island, the King, and Wish Craft. (long ass post under cut. sorry)
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The Island was redacted from the perception of outside world, via Wish Craft.
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Wish Craft has the power to enable Time Craft. We see this primarily through Siffrin's timeloops, but also through the King's powers.
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One of the King's powers is to show the saviors a "vision of the future."
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...And this same attack is deflected back at the King by Mirabelle in ACT 5, in which the King is able to see the Island before being frozen in time.
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...So. The King's "vision of the future." We're never told explicitly what this vision is. All we know is that it's apparently powerful enough to wipe the party in one hit, hearing it from a distance hurts your head, and that whatever Siffrin (and Loop) saw, they don't seem to actually be able to describe it. Even the King himself doesn't know what his vision entails.
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We don't know whether the party all sees the same thing when struck by the vision, and Adrienne's answer to the question about it in the Reddit AMA is. vague? It's not a "no," and the specific wording makes me think the answer might be yes. But that's me reading into it.
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Now. What do we know about the Island's redaction? The Island was affected by the wish recently, as in "like a decade ago" recently. We know that nobody in Vaugarde or the rest of the world is capable of thinking about the Island, anything closely tied to the Island's culture, or people on the Island for very long. When they do recall these things, they slip right out of reach. Particularly, the consequence for trying to think about the Island (or, more specifically, break the wish that forces the Island out of perception) is significant pain, localized in the head.
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And that said pain is enough to become lethal, if pressed hard enough.
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From here forward I'm running with the assumption that the King's "vision of the future" is not personalized to any individual, and is unchanging throughout the course of the whole story. Now. Remember the end of ACT 5, where the King gets hit with the deflected "vision of the future", and instead of dying, he recalls the Island and gets frozen in time? Very odd, yeah? Why wouldn't the King just die like everyone else does? He even does take 9999 damage when trying to say its name, like Siffrin does, and like the party does when they're hit by the attack.
Well. We know that he has a "true wish" that the ability to freeze Vaugarde in time grants. I don't think it's at all a stretch to guess that the King's "true wish" is to be able to remember the Island. My personal guess is that the King (and Siffrin) brought this "true wish" into effect via the "SAY ITS NAME" sequence- he even tries three times, a significant number in wishing.
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The King (and Siffrin's) wish breaks, because it can't be fulfilled in this moment without breaking the wish to prevent the Island from being thought about. However. Consider the conditions at the end of ACT 5- the King sees the vision of the future reflected back to him, and what he sees is the Island. He remembers the Island, fulfilling his own wish, and is frozen in time. I consider this a compromise between his wish and the one binding the Island- the King gets to remember the Island, but nobody alive is able to think about it, because he's frozen in time; it's like the Universe is correcting itself (I WILL GET BACK TO THIS). The wish of all of Vaugarde to defeat the King is fulfilled, since he is no longer a threat, and Siffrin's wish wraps itself up soon after.
MY POINT BEING. The King's attack is a vision of the future. This "future" is of the Island, in some uncorrupted state. The saviors see it when he attacks them, and he sees it when it is deflected back to him.
The logical next question is "okay, so the Island exists in the future, but how do you know time shenanigans are even related to the Island?"
Recall a very odd series of interactions throughout the game, in which you try to interact with a piece of equipment that you already own.
The game rewinds slightly, before the item disappears, as the Universe corrects itself.
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This is awfully similar to two particular events: looping back without seeing the death screen, and talking to the Daydreaming One about her sister. The latter is more interesting to me for the purposes of this theory.
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In both instances, something is misaligned within the Universe (an item existing in two places, someone remembering something they're not supposed to) and it is corrected through some sort of rewind. Also compare the dialogue above to when you try to give Mirabelle the Stylish Bow when you already own it.
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The world glitches, but Siffrin defuses the situation before the Universe has to intervene. Omitted from the screenshot is the fact that Mirabelle's portraits switch to happy from "catastrophically anxious" with no transition after Siffrin shows her where the bow is. Important to note is that when Mirabelle tries to recall receiving the bow, her head hurts, much like how trying to break the Island wish causes a headache.
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The Universe leads you away from perception, and you can only follow.
My theory that I keep circling around is that through Wish Craft, the Island has been displaced temporally. The denizens of the Island, as well as the Island itself, still exist, but they are in the future. The Island is still loaded into the world, like how equipment is before you try to interact with it, and the Island cannot leave this quantum state, because it never actually went anywhere. The magnitude of the redaction event is so severe with the Island, because it is so much larger as an entity than a sword or a bow. There are of course things I don't really have pieced together, like why somebody would wish the Island into the future, how far into the future it is, or why equipment behaves this way. But it's the only Island theory I've seen that I have some level of confidence in, so I might as well lay out my cards for it.
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minty364 · 5 months
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DPXDC Prompt #58 Part 2
It started on a Friday, Danny finished adjusting his uniform as he peered into the mirror in the bathroom his family shared.  Mr. Wayne had been very generous to offer Danny a scholarship to Gotham Academy. He was determined to do his best but, part of him wondered if he was only offered it so Damian would have a friend that attended the same school as him.
 Putting the finishing touches on his uniform and trying to calm down his unruly hair, Danny walked out of the bathroom to hear chatter coming from the kitchen. This caused him to hesitate, Jazz and he decided not to ask Damian or Tim over yet. The state of the house was a bit messy considering it was left to two teenagers to pick up after the four of them. They just didn’t have the time, the both of them were focusing on their own fields of study and avoiding their parents by spending time at Wayne manor. 
So the fact that there was chatter meant one thing, his parents were up from the basement. He didn’t dislike interacting with them but… somehow every conversation with them ended up with an hour-long lecture about how dangerous ghosts were and how Danny and Jazz were to call them immediately if they ever spotted one, as if they’d actually pick up the phone. Danny was starting to believe that ghosts didn’t exist at all. 
He took a deep breath after grabbing his messenger bag from his room and entered the kitchen.
Just as he thought his parents were up from the lab and astonishingly they sat at the table. They were eating breakfast together with Jazz almost like they were a normal family. The sight unnerved Danny but he took his spot at the table, pouring himself a bowl of cereal as Jazz had done. Neither of them trusted anything that their parents would have cooked, most of it ended up with Danny and Jazz having stained or torn uniforms. 
They hated asking Mr. Wayne for anything, and even though he left a credit card for either Danny or Jazz to use, neither of them did. Jazz managed their finances, Mom was too busy to cook or go to the store most times so Jazz handled it and Danny made sure at least the bathroom and kitchen were cleaned up enough. It probably shouldn’t have worked, especially leaving two teenagers to look after the finances, but it did.
“Danno, my boy!!” The loud boisterous voice of his Dad startled him out of that train of thought, “we’ve got a surprise for the two of you!”
Jazz and Danny shared a look, nothing good ever came from one of their parents ‘surprises’.
“Your Father and I completed our-“ before Mom could finish, Dad interrupted loudly.
“THE PORTAL!!” he smiled like he was a toddler in a candy store for the first time.
Jazz and Danny shared a look again, sure they were happy for their parents, but they were also worried about the possible hazards.
Their Mom cleared her throat before continuing, “I get you kids have school, just hurry straight home when you’re off! We’ll turn it on when you’re both home.” She finished her explanation with a big smile.
Danny could hardly believe it, they had been working on it for years. He was a little scared what exactly it meant if it worked but that didn’t matter at the moment. He continued eating and Jazz spoke up, “t-that’s great Mom, Dad,” she spared a glance at Danny but continued when he didn’t speak up but ate another mouthful of cereal, “Uh, well, our ride should be here soon, I’ll meet you outside little brother.” She quickly put her dishes in the dishwasher and headed outside after grabbing her coat and backpack. 
Danny quickly followed after their parents went downstairs probably to tinker with another project after the portal.
Jazz was waiting on the porch after putting on her coat, they both knew how prompt Mr. Pennyworth was and that it wouldn’t take long for him to arrive. It didn’t take long for them to pile in after he arrived. The trip to the school was short, Jazz and Tim were caught up in a conversion about some essay, Danny tried to pay attention to the conversion but his mind kept wandering to the portal and what it meant for his family now that it’s done. 
Damian seemed to notice his fidgeting, “Danny? What troubles you? Is it Dash again?” Damian cracked his knuckles as he seethed the bully’s name. Danny was often bullied by Dash for being in his words ‘a charity case’ since Mr. Wayne paid his tuition, and he recently started bullying Danny for what his parents did since word somehow got out after neither of his parents showed up for parent teacher conferences.
Danny shook his head, “no, sorry, I’m just a little worried about a few things going on at home,” Jazz looked up at this and the two shared a look. Neither of them discussed what they’d tell the brothers about the portal. Jazz eventually nodded subtly and Danny took that as the go ahead to continue. He nervously licked his lips before speaking again, “well… our parents finally finished the portal.”
Damian and Tim shared a look at this, “have they attempted to turn it on yet?” Damian asked after a moment.
“Uh, no actually, they wanted to wait until we got home from school,” Danny shrugged.
“Would you like Damian and I to stay out in the car and wait for it all to be over so we can go back to being normal back at the mansion.” Tim suggested with a light chuckle, none of them thought that it’d actually work.
Having an easy escape route after whatever craziness the portal was bound to cause sounded comforting. Danny nodded a little, “I’d like that, how about you Jazz?”
“Your not leaving me alone with them!” She cried and the two giggled.
Soon though they pulled up to the school and Danny sighed, he had a day to get through.
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theloyalpin · 2 months
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project-sekai-facts · 11 months
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Your recent update made me wonder about something. I don’t know how much you know about this but wanted to try asking anyway. Hopefully this makes sense? Why would the English translation choose to censor things? I assume translations are being done in America where queer things are slowly becoming more accepted but is that a factor? Are the translators themselves changing certain things due to their own biases? I don’t know who they are and don’t want to assume anything about them, but I can’t help wondering if that’s part of the reason? Or is it because of something like, for example, sometimes movies or TV shows have certain content removed based on where it’s being aired, so is it something like that? Is the game being released in regions where queer content is banned or removed? Now that I wrote it, I feel like this is the most likely answer but what do you think? I basically just rambled in your ask my bad. Also, do you know if the Korean and/or Taiwan servers have censorship too?
oh there's more than just the Asahi thing and i have mentioned it in passing before but i'll cover it properly here. "the miles i fell in love with is so cool" -> "it was so cool! i guess that's miles for you" is definitely the biggest example though.
First off, a minor thing. it doesn't really happen anymore but in the earlier translations they quite often use words other than partner, like "pals" and "buds", in the VBS story. Probably one of the best examples of this would be An and Kohane's 3rd kizuna title, which the JP name was often fan-translated as "Making each other better" or "Raising each other up", and is called "Two supportive pals" on EN. Which does have the same meaning but the "pals" seems so unneccesary when they could've used partners. The original text is Takameau futari, the first part means "to raise" or "to lift" and futari means "two people" or "a pair/couple". So it technically is a good enough translation but using pals when partners would be more accurate to canon just seems.. off.
I’m assuming their avoidance of the word partner is because it could easily be misinterpreted as romantic, but they seem to have moved on from that at this point.
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There's also THE POWER OF UNITY where they switch out "love" (daisuki) for "cares about a lot" when KAITO is comparing the relationship between Arata and Souma to Akito and Toya. Daisuki literally means "likes a lot" so often you'll see people translate it as love, though likes a lot is still valid. "Cares about" is not a direct translation but definitely can still convey the same meaning, so again instance of valid localisation it just seems like an odd choice when using love would've conveyed the exact same meaning and been more true to the original.
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Then you've got another instance of them not translating daisuki correctly in Dear Me, As I Was Back Then (sorry this one is a wiki screenshot my phone died). This is worse. Like I guess if you really want then it does have a close enough meaning to the original. Like I guess daisuki meaning "like a lot" or "love" could be localised as "you're the best" if you really wanted it too. But even then, the line before this is "I'm gonna show just how much I admire her!". Minori's shout of "I LOVE YOUUU" from the original would be way more fitting here. "You're the best" feels too casual and buddy-buddy - even if Minori didn't know Haruka at this point, Haruka still had a big impact on her life and imo "I love you" would be the best to use here.
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There’s also this one from Walk on and on that removes one key thing. In the original, Toya says something more along the lines of “I was able to make this track because I want to continue to be a partner who can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you from now on and always”. This is a bit more similar to the Asahi incident in that they’ve restructured the sentence to make it two, adding in the thing about performing which isn’t even there originally, and replacing “korekara saki mo zutto” with “keep singing with you”. And “keep singing with you” still works, but it’s much more toned down, let’s say. You know what really is odd about this translation though? If the quote I put seems familiar, it’s because it’s also the name of Toya’s event card. Kinda odd they omitted that from the story then, huh? The thing is the translation of the card is very accurate so removing it from the story starts to seem intentional, especially when everything around it is accurately translated like with the Asahi incident. Also doing this removes the fact that the card name references the story so what the hell are you doing EN? It's the same sentence, if you can translate it correctly on the card you can translate it correctly in the story.
There's definitely more than this, this is just what came to mind first and I don't want to make this post too long.
These were certainly... choices. Especially with the ones that avoid translating daisuki as love because they do translate as that on other occasions, most frequently with An and Kohane. I'm assuming the reason they omitted it with the guys is because it's far harder to pass off guys saying that they love each other as platonic because societal expectations or whatever, but I'm actually surprised by the change to Dear Me because normally they're pretty good with Minori and Haruka usually. Like they've translated daisuki correctly for them before and leave in everything else that indicates Minori has a crush on Haruka, so why not this line?
I'm tempted to say that they just change the things that they think are too hard to safely pass off as platonic, but then again they left all of the unsubtle ship teasing in Buddy Funny Spend Time, which has a lot of focus on Minori and Haruka's relationship (and they even added in Haruka saying that Minori makes her heart tickle in her card story), so I'm genuinely not sure why they left that in but then changed one instance of Minori saying she loves Haruka which doesn't even have to be interpreted romantically. Like what is the limit here? An can say she's going on a date (with Kohane) and the WEG regulars can ask who she's been seeing, but Asahi can say he fell in love with Tsukasa's character and it gets removed. Both of them have romantic connotation. The only thing I can think of is that An's comes from a whole card story and event, but Asahi's is one line that's easy to remove. Same with Toya saying he wants to stay with Akito forever.
In other words, it's a mess and I don't think any of what I just wrote is coherent either.
Interpret all of this however you will at the end of the day it’s all just ship tease which is up to interpretation anyway. Except the Asahi thing. That one is a censor.
Oh and the KR and TW servers don’t do this.
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moeblob · 5 months
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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kirby-the-gorb · 1 year
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every-sanji · 2 months
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cuubism · 1 year
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hello friends. despite my 9 million existing dreamling wips i'm feeling the need to branch out a bit for the sake of my mental variety. what pairing other than dreamling should i write a little something for? could be romantic or platonic
other way of phrasing i guess: any pairings you really want to see more fics for in the fandom?
#i actually do have one someone asked me for ages ago i've been meaning to get to so i'll try to do that too#bonus points if it still involves dream bc you know i love dream XD#probably wont do any romantic pairings /between/ the endless because well yeah#but open to exploring pretty much anything else... feel free to send whatever if you want. dont worry about if i'll like it#if i can't vibe with it or find it uncomfy i just won't write it no harm no foul#not me soliciting little prompts fully knowing that motivation is a fickle beast and who knows if i would get to writing them XD i want#to though! or like. idk. if anyone wants to share headcanons about their favorite pairings i am happy to receive them#the sandman#a couple that are bouncing around my head already:#rose meeting desire. this could be really interesting i think (they are of course her grandparent)#calliope and lucienne post-calliope's imprisonment: i think their dynamic could be interesting since they both have/had close relationships#with dream. but of course calliope's relationship with him fell apart. i think lucienne with whatever context of it she had would probably#be sympathetic to calliope's perspective but still staunchly On Dream's Side so the speak bc she is ultimately very loyal to him... could b#an interesting convo.#additionally - calliope and johanna. both suffered things recently. both had curious interactions with dream where they recently saw both#his vicious side AND a kinder more understanding side of him... [dream gave rachel a peaceful death at johanna's request etc]#but they've come out of their suffering really differently (granted it was different types of suffering. but)#wow here i am asking for people's ideas and then just coming up with my own XD#anyway#wait two others: i'm fascinated by the potential dynamic of lucienne and the corinthian they only had like one short scene together in the#show but can you imagine. spending eons being loyal to dream and then going opposite directions with that loyalty. being among dream's inne#circle so to speak except lucienne is her own entity while corinthian was /created/ by dream. they have the most fascinating venn diagram o#personality traits and narrative positions...#secondly. and this is kind of crack. but like. imagine johanna and corinthian in the same room XD 'hi i'm an exorcist and this is my pet#serial killer' 'yeah my lord gave me a vacation to go kill some demons' why doesn't he try to kill johanna? bc she tried to destroy him#first time they met and he can't help but respect it XD
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carouselunique · 2 months
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Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...
I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.
I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.
(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)
I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.
And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.
Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.
If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)
All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.
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necrotic-nephilim · 2 months
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Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?
not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.
i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.
which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.
and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.
i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!
#necrotic festerings#batcest#pro ship#necrotic answerings#tbh asking the question gave me the chance to explain it so ty!#might link this in my about me or my masterlist for ease of access#i don't want to like. overstate how big i was on an old blog bc i was not like. a celebrity by *any* means.#but i had a ship-specific blog and i was certainly a “big name fan” for that specific rarepair#and it like. took over my life when i was a teen#i look back on it fondly now but i really regret that i would obsess so heavily over numbers and what made a fic do well#my favorite fics to write were htp back then bc for htp culture writing on anon was normal since that was during the dreamwidth days#and i just. liked that veil of anonymity and i think i defaulted to that when i decided to finally start posting batcest stuff#(all of this makes me sound so old i'm only 22 i just started fandom really fucking young which i don't recommend)#and when i say one fic got big. i mean it. i have found that fic on instagram and pinterest and tiktok and even. facebook.#do you know what it's like when your fic gets reuploaded to facebook without your permission and you see what boomers think of it.#that was so mortifying.#funnily enough the boomers were actually really nice i was just shocked to find it there scrolling one day.#it was instagram that was super mean to me and traumatized my ass. man ppl dug into me for the tinest things. do not miss that.#anyway the point is#i've tasted vitality and niche fandom status(tm) and i hated both. and i just cannot do that to myself again#ergo#anon on ao3 and a blog to post my thoughts when i have them.#it's a nice system for me#i have some stuff on my main ao3 that toes the line of like. dark dead dove trash.#and i had antis get mad at me bc their fave fluffy fic was written by. gasp. a proshipper.#and yeah that soured me to existence on ao3.#getting into the rise of anti culture is a whole other discussion that'd have me going on for hours but i will shut up now.#wow this got long. i like to fucking talk don't i.
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voidedjuice · 7 months
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Reasons you love whisperain
Her most characteristics trait people overlook from her
And favourite ships with her innit
-M
Hhmhmm,
When i first saw her it was sorta love at first sight, like, ohhh a gloomy looking cool jellyfish medic with an eyepatch!!! Then when i got to her lore it's so like, her weird form of immortality, her only barely remembered past life(?) connection to the seaborn, her past travels as a wandering medic/in her previous lives. It's really fun to think about what she could've been up to and who she could've met. Also she's so pretty and so cute and i love her reserved but extremely gentle personality.
As for her overlooked traits, i can't really blame people bc it is like, 1 (one) voiceline, but
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This thing and its implications for her have been driving me insane ever since she dropped in global. What did she see????? Where has she been??? I barely see stuff exploring it from anyone else and it makes me a bit sad
My fave Whispy pairings lately have been her and Andreana's narratively neglected purple girls' club, and aside from that Weedyrain is always a classic (Weedy building an entire movietheater for Whisperain in her oprec for example is so romance)
I tend to um, whimsically pair her up with whomever I'm feeling at the time, for ex. in that church of the deep au/theory of mine i was thinking she'd go well in a tense yuri thing with Amaia :3. Also her voicelines and profile mention Warfarin a lot, so that's also a rarepair i enjoy (even if im the only one to do so waaah). Gameplay synergy wise she goes together so well with Blaze i cant help but also like them together :).
Then there's of course the pretty nice pairing with Dusk (girl who creates art to deal with the horrors vs girl who enjoys art to deal with the horrors, grumpy reserved girl vs kind reserved girl alliance, them both enjoying movies, Whisperain's past allowing her to have met whomever in a past life she doesn't remember and the implications for that with Dusk....)
Basically she never gets anything canon ever at all so in my despair I've taken to playing with her & anyone available like dolls. It's great fun, highly recommend (join me join me join me)
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 4 months
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fav golden girl 👁️👁️
You do realize this is like asking me to choose my favourite hand, right? Or my favourite leg? It's like choosing my favourite eye, my favourite strand of hair, my favourite organ, my favourite --
Blanche. It's-it's Blanche.
#it's painful because i really do love them all so much ;-; and i *especially* love their interactions!!! i adore them when they're together!#but if i *had* to choose one then it's blanche.#and this is not (just) because of my big big crush on rue mcclanahan i swear lmao#(especially since i also adore both bea arthur and betty white)#i think she's just the one that surprised me the most!#i *immediately* loved dorothy as soon as she appeared on scene in the pilot. *immediately*. and i only loved her more as i watched#i thought sophia was *hilarious* from the moment she walked in as well#(and she had some *great* interactions with dorothy that endeared her to me even more very early on)#and it took me a bit more to fall in love with rose but i found her very funny and charming from the start too (possibly bc of betty white)#but blanche? i *liked* blanche at the start. but i didn't *love* her#i found her funny! i found her pretty! and i loved her interactions with the girls as a whole#but it took me a while to really grasp her character bc she's so different from me#but man. once i started to figure her out... hit me like a train#idk how to explain at some point i was watching and it just hit me that 'oh wow. i really *really* love her.' you know?#now i go back to the pilot and the first episodes and i *see* all those subtleties i missed the first time around and i *adore* her#but she did catch me by surprise and i think that's why she's my favourite!#i could write a whole essay on all the things i love about her lmao but there's already enough tags on this post#(if you'd like to tell me which girl is *your* favourite i'd love to know!!!)#the golden girls#ask
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smilesrobotlover · 1 year
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Okay I'll bite. What happened in this guy's childhood to make him go to the extensive body-destroying lengths to bring his mom back??
-Sky Floor
His father left and his mother was wonderful to Edward and his brother, they loved her very much. But in the 2003 version, she died, possibly from being heartbroken over Edward’s father leaving. She was sick for days and finally passed away. In the brotherhood version it was definitely an illness that passed around Risembool (where Edward lived) and his mother caught it and she died. He and his brother missed her and Edward wanted nothing more than to bring his mother back. He thought he would use alchemy to do it, but human transmutation is very illegal because of how dangerous it is. Alchemy is dependent on equivalent exchange, and it’s practically impossible to bring someone back to life. So Ed lost his leg, and Alphonse lost his entire body. Ed couldn’t lose his little brother so he connected Al’s soul to a suit of armor, losing his arm in the process.
Oh but don’t worry! His life gets so much worse :)
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lesamis · 10 months
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i understand that like, culturally it's a Thing that people get annoyed when any elderly person they're not even close to tells them extensively about their life & their medical history etc. like i get why it's a general tenor that a lot of people find that irritating. but for one i also think that bc of like the nature of this stupid planet we do owe it to others to pay attention to what's important to them and sit in the moment w them for a bit if we can and so i don't love the sentiment of someone else's need to share being like A Bother above all else. and then also, additionally to the inherent dignity in us all etc i am convinced that anyone who gets bored or zones out while their 80+ year old neighbour narrates his life story is in acute danger of missing out on some of the most buckwild Situations you've ever heard a person recount
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lordshroom · 7 months
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For the ask game!:
3 - 12 - 14 - 16
3. Which is your favorite turtle from any version?
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12. Who is your favorite minor or recurring character?
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14. Who are your favorite duo (non-shipping)?
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(honestly, in any version these two interacting is *chefs kiss*)
16. What was the first TMNT show/movie you ever watched?
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