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buckysimp101 · 2 years

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Love at First Grade (18+) - 6

Single Dad!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader; Teacher!Bucky x CEO!Reader

chapter warnings: ehehehehe smut. (also this chapter is over 4k words. i am so sorry lol

Series Masterlist

“Alright, Mr. Odinson, we just need your signature on the lines with the x’s for our contract and then Ms. L/N will sign under that and Mr. Stark will finish us off,” Maria Hill presented the contract to Thor Odinson who smiled brightly as he realized the future of advancing the field of Telehealth would be possible with the buy-in of Stark Industries and L/N Enterprises. He had just taken over as the head of his company following his father’s retirement and it was his first large scale deal since.

You were proud of him, Thor had come a long way from the party boy he once was, the party boy you once knew very well. You and Thor had belonged to the same social circles since you were children, it was the upside of your parents diversifying their business portfolio and their investments, and the Odinson’s running one of the largest medicine and health tech companies in the world. When you read what Thor was trying to do you knew it was best to bring in Stark, he’d given you hell and originally argued that you were only doing it because it was Thor, which may have been partially true, but you knew what he was doing was worth it.

After the signing you shook both their hands and thanked them for thee investment opportunity of a lifetime. You passed along the job of preparing a press release to Pepper and Maria, while you took a much needed break in your office, with the lights off, your head resting on the desk. The week had been long. You always felt bad when you had to make Sam or Wanda pick up and drop off Avery but you knew that this deal wouldn’t secure itself. You had spent all day Thursday just making sure the language was perfect in the contract, a job that usually fell to legal but you always personally looked over the contracts to make sure nothing was out of place and that nothing had managed to sneak past you in the negotiation stages.

A knock at your door jolted you from your half asleep state. “Come in!” You hurriedly attempted to fix any out of place hairs from your impromptu almost-nap. “Oh, it’s just you,” you stated, almost bored.

“Just me, well I’m offended. Usually when I see a gorgeous woman it’s ‘take me Thor, use me for your dastardly ways,’” the blonde giant joked with a wiggle of his brows causing you to roll your eyes.

“You can hang that pipe dream up because that’s not happening happening, Odinson,” you jested with a tone that was just as bored as your first statement. Thor’s body shuddered in fake disgust causing you to roll your eyes once again.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for giving me a chance. I know you’ve worked with my father before and that your family has done the some but I appreciate you working with me.”

Thor’s statement resonated with you. When you’re a fresh CEO nobody wants to take a chance on you. It didn’t matter how well known your company already was or if you had years of experience under your belt, if you were young then you were dumb according to everybody else, well everybody except your father and Tony Stark.

“Thor we’d be crazy not to work with you,” you said with a small smile. Thor was one of the people that you were able to show your softer side to, years of friendship allowed for it. “Now go celebrate with your company, I know you’ll probably head to Valhalla tonight anyway,” you teased Thor with the name of the bar his brother had opened a few years ago. The one quirk of the Odinsons was they were very keen on their Norse mythology, as evidenced by their sons Thor and Loki.

After Thor left you spent the rest of the day finishing up the paperwork so that you could leave to pick up Avery. Somehow, Avery, with some help from a very excitable Becca, managed to talk you into meeting with the Barnes’ for a zoo playdate the next day. Anything if it means I get to see this hunk of man again.

As the two of you waved goodbye you could tell that Avery was practically buzzing with excitement. You’d never seen her this excited to hang out with a friend and it made you realize that this was Avery’s first real friend. And who were you to be upset if Avery’s best friend just so happened to have a hot dad. You treated Avery to her favorite dinner and ice cream for dessert to somewhat apologize for being MIA the last couple of days, you always wanted to make sure that your daughter knew your love for her was limitless.

“Alright little miss, remember to behave for Grammie and Grumps and to go to bed at a good time so that we can go to the zoo with Mr. Barnes and Becca tomorrow alright? Mama will be back to pick you up in the morning. I love you sooooooo much, sweet girl,” you reminded her, giving her a squeeze and a kiss as you dropped her off with your parents. Your parents adored Avery. Your mom loved being a “Grammie” and your dad tolerated being “Grumps.” “Where the hell did that nickname even come from,” he’d grumbled when Avery had first dubbed him with the nickname. Your mom had just chimed in, “probably because she knows you’re just a grumpy old man, it fits honey. It just fits.”

Way later in the evening Wanda showed up with Sam in tow, ready to catch a ride to Nat’s bar. “There she is! The woman of the hour! Congratulations,” Tony practically yelled when he collected you in a hug outside the car making the whole group laugh. As you entered the comfortable darkness of Nat’s bar you slowly began to relax. Nat always had good music playing and on the occasional Friday nights she would have a makeshift dance floor ready for those who needed to take a load off after a busy week at work. Your group were some of her most frequent fliers.

The redhead in question must have a sixth sense because the next thing you knew you felt hands wrap around your waist as a voice whispered in your ear, “you got the Odinson contract didn’t you?”

You couldn’t help but smirk as you whipped around to face the owner of the bar. Nat grinned like a cat that got the canary and you shook your head yes excitedly. She practically squealed and the sound itself was enough to make you laugh. “Congratulations, sweets! First round is on me!” Natasha exclaimed, her excitement rubbing off on the rest of the group as they all put in their orders. Not like they needed to since she had them all memorized anyways as she liked to remind you.

“Sometimes I like to branch out!” Sam cried to which Natasha just responded, “Sam you’ve never ordered anything other than a rum and coke or a beer from my bar and I don’t think you’re about to start now.”

You offered to help Nat bring the drinks back to the table and followed her to the bar when your eyes caught on a certain someone nursing a rocks glass and looking at the tall blonde next to him. Your mouth spoke before your brain could stop you, “Mr. Barnes, is that you outside the classroom?”

His head whipped away from the conversation he was having with Mr. Rogers as his eyes appeared to widen at the sight of you. His tongue poked out to wet his bottom lip and he must have found a newfound confidence in the bottom of his glass because he was smirking and tilting his head in your direction with an answering, “It is, Ms. L/N. But I think if we’re gonna be seeing each other outside of the schoolhouse you should probably call me Bucky.”

Your eyebrow raised at the nickname, your whole conversation garnering the interest of Steve and Natasha as they had a silent conversation with their eyes. “Hmm, I thought it was James,” you added a fake breathy voice to his name to mock the mom you had heard call him that at the car pickup and he just snorted in response but before he could clarify you finished, “but I guess you should call me Y/N then, if we’re to be on a first name basis before our zoo date tomorrow.”

Steve and Natasha’s eyes both widened and they must have been confused because Bucky said, “yeah I’ve got one happy girl who is looking forward to being on her best behavior for her Nana to go see the polar bears with her best friend.”

“Oh so you two know each other?” Natasha interrupted with a pointed look in Bucky and Steve’s direction before turning back to you.

“Bucky is Avery’s teacher, Nat,” you answered with a small smirk. Nat’s eyes blew wide and a wicked grin grew on her lips. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Steve.

“So, Ms. L/N, I’m Steve Rogers. Becca’s teacher and Bucky and Nat’s best friend, it’s nice to meet you,” he extended his hand to you.

“Nice to meet you, Steve. Please, call me Y/N. Any friend of Nat’s is a friend of mine,” you added as you shook his hand, a fond smile appearing on the redhead’s lips.

“My hot mama here, just scored a deal with the Odinsons and she’s out celebrating with her crew,” Nat bragged not so humbly causing you to feel your cheeks heat up. You always hated when your friends bragged on you to others but Nat never seemed to be able to stop.

“Is that so, well a congratulations are in order. Put her drink on our tab, Natasha,” Steve spoke a little too amusedly to which Natasha just rolled her eyes and continued making drinks for your group. Askthemaskthemaskthemaskthem YOU IDIOT, you thought to yourself before saying, “would you two like to join us? We’ve got plenty of room and you know what they say, the more the merrier.” Steve and Bucky looked at each other, then back at Nat and she just tilted her head at them, before they answered positively and grabbed their drinks to join your group.

Introducing Bucky to Tony and Sam was a mistake. Sam knew who he was, having dropped Avery off at school a few times already but Tony? The second you introduced him as Avery’s teacher his eyes were alight with a fire. A fire that told you you would never get over what he was about to say.

Tony gave the man a once-over, then did the same to Steve before saying, “you know, I thought you’d be more…cardigan-y, with glasses. I definitely wasn’t expecting you to be so big. What do they FEED first grade teachers nowadays, steroids? I’m lookin at you too, Dorito!”

Sam made sure to add fuel to the steadily growing fire you felt under your skin, “Right? He’s also suspiciously tree-like.”

“HE IS!” Tony exclaimed, Pepper just put her face in her hands and shook her head while Wanda watched the whole thing with a growing grin on her face that you knew she’d try to cover up with a sip of her margarita.

“Our friendship is hanging by a thread you two, watch it,” you snarked at the two who held their hands up in defeat before taking a sip of their drinks and launching into questions for the newcomers. As the night went on, more drinks were had and more secrets spilled, loose lips sink ships and all that. Eventually Tony even requested shots. At one point you were practically sitting in Bucky’s lap as your friends talked shit about Brock, one of Tony’s favorite pastimes.

“He never deserved you,” that was Wanda, “I’ll kill him the next time I see him,” that was Tony, “Still can’t believe he went after the maid what a scum bag,” and that was Steve.

“Good fucking riddance. The only good thing that man ever gave me was Avery. I didn’t need him then, I don’t need him now. I’m a strong independent woman and a fucking CEO of a Fortune 500 company,” you slurred as Bucky laughed next to you, your hand reaching up to play with his hair. That got his attention because the next thing you know you had blue eyes rimmed with red staring right into yours. That’ll sober you up. You backed away a little, scared that you had gone too far when Bucky’s face softened and he leaned back into his seat, giving you access to more of his hair to play with.

Alright, so he likes to have his hair played with. Store that under useful information for later.

It got later and later and you and Bucky got flirtier and riskier. Nat seemed to have gotten spicier because next thing you knew she had her late night playlist on and Wanda was pulling you to the makeshift dance floor. You felt the pull of the alcohol starting to subside in your head as you danced with Wanda until she was pulled away from you. You opened your mouth to argue but saw it was Steve that had pulled her away to dance, a satisfied quirk of her lips showed you that the dance was all a game that Steve Rogers had just lost, or won depending on how you looked at it.

You were about to leave the dance floor when you felt an arm slip around your waist. A scent that you had gotten familiar with throughout the night, whiskey and good cologne, filled your senses as a voice whispered low in your ear asking for your consent. You nodded your head and continued swaying your hips along to the beat of the music, Bucky’s arm tightening around your waist as he pulled you into him. You should have noticed the sound of your friends howling and whistling but all you could focus on was the way that Bucky felt pressed up close to you. The way he smelled as you leaned your head back and picked up your rhythm. The feel of his chest as he breathed unevenly behind you. The next thing you knew he was spinning you around to face him, the movement making you dizzy and causing you to lose your balance, throwing your hands onto his chest to catch yourself. The moment that followed in your head was like the cartoons with the angel and devil on your shoulder.

Don’t look in his eyes. Don’t do it bitch. Don’t do it. You know you’ll be done far if you so much as LOOK at his face.

Do it. You won’t. I triple dog dare you. Come on, don’t be a loser. You feel these chest muscles?? Imagine what he’d look like with his shirt off, come on come on come onnnnnn.

…the later thought won and next thing you knew you were swimming in his gaze. You swallowed heavily, your mouth suddenly dry as you thought about your closeness to your daughter’s first grade teacher. You thought long and hard about the next thing you wanted to say. And then the words were out, “you wanna get out of here?”

Apparently Bucky wasn’t expecting that because his eyes widened but his head quickly made up for his lack of words by nodding enthusiastically. As the pair of you exited the dance floor and made your way back to the table to get your stuff you were calling your weekend driver Stan to pick you up at Obsidian. The two of you threw out hasty goodbyes and as you headed to the exit you heard Tony and Sam yell out the following “go easy on him, black widow! He hasn’t had his pre-workout this evening!” (Tony) and “climb him like a tree, princess!” (Sam). The rest of your friends howling with laughter and if you had thought twice about it you probably would have been a little embarrassed at their behavior. On another day that probably would have been the act that cut the friendship ties altogether. But tonight you had something else on your mind.

The whole ride back to your place was tense, for some reason you decided to avoid looking at Bucky. Well. It wasn’t just some reason, you knew you’d want to jump his bones in the back of the car if you so much as looked at him. After you pulled up at your building you both shouted thanks to Stan who responded, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” as he drove away. You and Bucky rode the elevator all the way to your penthouse and being on your turf must have brought back the confidence you were known for. Because the second you stepped foot in your apartment and Bucky shut the door behind himself you turned around and cornered him at the door.

Your hands moved to his chest as you looked him in the eye. His pupils had blown wide, you could barely see the blue in his irises. He raised his eyebrow at you in question so you leaned forward and slotted your lips over his.

Kissing Bucky Barnes was the hottest thing you had ever done in your life. He was a fucking professional. He made sure to engage every part of you as if his life depended on it. Your lips moved against his in a frenzy as he moved his hand to tangle in your hair. Bucky heated up the kiss by snaking his tongue into your mouth, one hand squeezing your hip, the action causing you to moan.

God you sound like a teenager. He doesn’t need to know the last time you were laid was FOREVER ago. Now stop moaning like a kid.

But then the kiss was paused as Bucky wrapped his arms under your thighs and pulled you up, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he came back in to continue the kiss. It just kept getting hotter as your tongues fought for dominance and you reached a hand up to experimentally tug on Bucky’s hair, the action eliciting a loud moan from the man. He pulled back from the kiss and leaned his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily, before asking “which way to your room?”

You directed him and as he carried you down the hall you started pulling at the buttons on his shirt, unbuttoning them one by one until eventually he was standing there looking like Fabio on the romance novels your mom used to read. Bucky dropped you on the bed abruptly, his eyes hungry as he eyed you. Slowly, you began to lift your tank top off, and then you stood up to take your pants off but were stopped by Bucky.

“Let me,” he whispered as he sunk to his knees in front of you, the sight of him on his knees would have brought you to yours. Bucky slowly took off your shoes and your pants, peeling them down your legs til you were clad only in your underwear.

“One of us is significantly more clothed, Mr. Barnes. And I think that’s a problem,” you stated with a quirked eyebrow to show fake annoyance. Bucky took that to heart and promptly took off his clothes faster than any other man you had ever been with til he was of matching nakedness. You made eye contact, neither of you daring to move first, until you caught his eye wandering over your body. That was it.

You surged forward, capturing his lips with yours, and you whispered into the kiss, “just fuck me already, Bucky. You know you want to.”

That’s all the urging Bucky needed. He laid you down and laid kisses to your lips, then your jaw, then your sternum, before he was reaching under you to take your bra off. He stared at your breasts for a solid minute, your chest heaving under his gaze before he was lavishing them both in light kisses, the stubble on his jaw making you ticklish. Then he was laying light kisses and light bites to the inside of your thighs until…

“Fucking hell Barnes stop teasing me already,” you breathed, your voice catching in your throat as he stopped right where you needed him most. With a cocky smirk, he hooked his finger around your lace underwear and tugged them down your leg before moving his face back. Bucky Barnes eats pussy like a man starved. He licked a flat strip along your entrance, stopping to add pressure at your clit, making your toes curl in the process. His tongue lapped at your clit in all sorts of ways that had you breathless and moaning in seconds. And then he added his finger. And then another. And then a third. At one point you swore he was spelling his fucking name on your clit with his tongue. Almost like he was invisibly marking you as his. It didn’t take long until you were cumming on his tongue, Bucky cleaning up your release with a pleased hum.

You pulled him in for a kiss, tasting yourself on his mouth, and rolled him over to his back to offer him a courtesy blow for the mind-blowing orgasm he’d just gifted you but before you could even reach down to take him out of his briefs he stopped you and said, “honey, just fuck me.” And so, after reaching over him to grab the condom from your bedside table, you did. You straddled Bucky’s broad thighs and lined your entrance up with your cock, looking him in the eye, before easing yourself down. You both moaned at the feeling of Bucky filling you up and after a minute you move your hips experimentally, Bucky’s eyes falling closed with a hiss on his lips. With that you moved.

And oh boy did you move. You lifted yourself up, almost the entire way off, and slammed back down. The move causing your eyes to roll in the back of your head. Bucky took that to mean he could move and he began to thrust up into you, meeting your hips as you both chased your highs. At one point his hand reached up in between you to play with your nipples, offering varying pressures that just brought you closer and closer to release. “Fuck do that again, Bucky, I’m gonna cum. Please, I’m gonna cum,” you shouted as you felt your walls pulsing around his cock… when he pulled you off him suddenly.

“What the fu-,” your argument was cut off with a hasty and hot kiss as he flipped the two of you over, the second your back hit the mattress Bucky was entering you harshly causing you to scream in pleasure. The wet sound of sweat slick bodies meeting again and again, thrust for thrust, and the feeling of Bucky’s hand reaching in between to thumb at your clit made you cum again.

“Fuck sweetheart you’re gripping me like a goddamn vice, just a little more. One more time, honey. One more and I’ll cum for you,” Bucky’s voice growled low in your ear as he moved one leg over his hip and spread the other to give him deeper access, hitting that soft spongey spot juuuuuust right until…

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” you came with a scream, your vision clouding with the euphoria of your orgasm. Bucky wasn’t far behind you, a couple more pumps as your walls pulsated around him had him cumming with a groaned, “that’s it, fuck honey I’m cumming, I’m fucking urgh.” Bucky came with a huff. He leaned down to trap your lips in another kiss, neither of you saying anything as you both came down. He rolled off the condom and walked to your connected bathroom, you took a minute to appreciate his body from afar.

You heard the water run and Bucky was reappearing a minute later with a wash cloth as he cleaned both of you up. You sighed at the gesture and laid on your side to watch him return. The way you were laying must have been what he wanted to see because his eyes widened at the sight of you, eyes hooded as you practically purred, “think you’ve got it in you for round two, Barnes?” Bucky’s eyes narrowed and he stalked towards you, catching you by surprise and forcing a giggle through your lips. He definitely had it in him for round two…and three..and round four was your ruining. You fell into a deep sleep and only faintly remembered the feeling of his lips on your ear and his arms wrapping around your waist as the two of you drifted off to sleep.

But it might as well all have been a dream because when you woke up the next day Bucky wasn’t there. All that was left to even prove you had slept together was the soreness between your thighs, the dark hickey on your collarbone, and the smell of his cologne on your sheets.

taglist (to be added just let me know! * means i couldn’t tag properly):

@youlightmeupfinn

@la-undercover-latina

@jackiehollanderr

@fab-notfat

@galaxy-dusk

@asoftie4bucky

@fangirlvoice

@queenbeecandi

@babyevansblog

@stevihj

@sherlockstrangewolf

@notavintagecliche

@justsomebodyweird*

#bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x yn #single dad bucky x single mom reader #teacher bucky barnes #teacher!bucky x ceo!reader #BuckySimp101 #love at first grade fic

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freehawaii · 1 month

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KE AUPUNI UPDATE - MARCH 2024

At the UN in Geneva... For three or four times a year since 2010, I have been attending meetings at the UN in Geneva, and likewise at the UN in New York. The primary purpose for attending these UN meetings is to promote... “Hawaiʻi. our story and our future”... where we have been and where we would like to go. By using the art of diplomacy (talking story and making friends), we have broken down the lies the US had spread about Hawaiʻi being a US “state” (as evidenced by numerous stories in UN and European publications), and we have succeed in developing sympathy and support for the restoration of Hawaiʻi as a sovereign, independent nation. I am currently at the massive UN headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland attending the 55th Session of the UN Human Rights Council. This past week I have touched bases with diplomats, UN experts, non-governing organizations (NGOs), the press and other stake-holders in the international human rights arena. Next week I will be on a panel on self-determination sponsored by the Kashmiri independence movement. I will also participate in a press conference with Alaska representatives and Dr. Alfred deZayas on calling for review of UNGA Resolution 1469. Here is the short oral statement I delivered at the Human Rights Council asserting our diplomatic protest to the US illegal occupation of our islands and reiterating our status as a sovereign, independent nation in continuity. Aloha Mr. President: This intervention is a diplomatic protest of the ongoing, systematic violations of human rights in the Hawaiian Islands and how the matter can be peacefully remedied. The United Statesʻ illegal occupation of Hawaii, has caused the people of Hawaii tremendous harm. The tragic fire that destroyed the historic town of Lahaina on August 8, 2023 is a foreboding of where the rest Hawaii is headed should the U.S. maintain its stranglehold on our islands. The U.S. and its settler population has used judicial corruption to dispossess Hawaiians of our lands (as in the current case of Mme Routh Bolomet); robs Hawaiians of our livlihoods, way of life and social structures; creating an environment that is so inhospitable and toxic that more than half of native Hawaiians have fled the islands just to survive. The huge presence of the US military in Hawaii puts Hawaiians in imminent danger of instant nuclear annihilation by enemies of the U.S. But unlike Japan’s sneak attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, the next attack on US Military installations in Hawaii will wipe out everything. The people would be gone and the entire island of Oʻahu will look like Lahaina does now. The remedy would begin with the United Nations General Assembly reviewing Resolution 1469 to correct its error, and ending its complicity in the occupation of Hawaii by the U.S.

“Love of country is deep-seated in the breast of every Hawaiian, whatever his station.” — Queen Liliʻuokalani ---------- Ua mau ke ea o ka ʻāina i ka pono. The sovereignty of the land is perpetuated in righteousness. ------ For the latest news and developments about our progress at the United Nations in both New York and Geneva, tune in to Free Hawaii News at 6 PM the first Friday of each month on ʻŌlelo Television, Channel 53. ------ "And remember, for the latest updates and information about the Hawaiian Kingdom check out the twice-a-month Ke Aupuni Updates published online on Facebook and other social media." PLEASE KŌKUA… Your kōkua, large or small, is vital to this effort... To contribute, go to: • GoFundMe – CAMPAIGN TO FREE HAWAII • PayPal – use account email: [email protected] • Other – To contribute in other ways (airline miles, travel vouchers, volunteer services, etc...) email us at: [email protected] All proceeds are used to help the cause. MAHALO! Malama Pono,

Leon Siu

Hawaiian National

#Ke Aupuni #Leon Siu #Free Hawaii #Kingdom of Hawaii #Koani Foundation #Hawaiian Kingdom

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dulcectdecorum · 2 years

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midmorning, a few days post tower attack, dulce’s fancy ass cambridge home ( @catclyst. )

Going from living utterly alone, to having four covert houseguests, only one of whom he actually knows well, meaning there are a half a dozen people coming and going constantly to visit them, is an adjustment to say the least. With Shadow’s own unexpected new live-in guest, he doesn’t feel like it’s fair to escape to Shadow’s townhouse to take refuge from the chaos overnight, and that’s without considering, of course, that he had promised to play security for the defectors, and so play security he has. All of this, and he still hasn’t managed to figure out a good time and place to meet his brother to discuss the still very real target on his back, considering the manor no longer feels safe, thanks to his own involvement in the grand Tower happenings, and White’s well-founded concerns over that.

Peace isn’t really possible in the house any longer, even if there is enough space that it’s possible not to see any of the others for hours at a time. Overload’s always been terribly loud, though, and there seems to be a constant sting of coming and going of people visiting his houseguests, or the more independent of the four leaving, against his advice, to meet others elsewhere. Mostly, though, they don’t directly bother him, besides Overload, which he’s glad for, thrilled to have her around, even if she could use some work on boundaries, and the odd need to force Specter into taking care of himself with a command or two since it still feels too dangerous to let him free of his command entirely.

So it’s no shock that, sitting at the table in the sunroom at the back of his house, doing a bit of light reading, with a cup of perfectly brewed tea, enjoying the very brief moment of silence, that it’s interrupted just as he brings the cup to his lips for the first sip.

He looks up, expecting Overload, but is greeted by Catalyst instead, apparently stopping for a chat for some reason, instead of leaving immediately after her visit with whichever of the four refugees he was currently housing in his guest wing. With a little sign, he puts down his cup of tea, ignoring the way his wrist twinges with the motion, both wrists still feel just slightly wrong, despite the healing, the phantom sensations of the gunshots very much sticking around. He doesn’t very well feel like having this argument now––in fact, he was hoping that she might be busy enough with the fallout of her almost annoyingly, certainly impressively well-executed plans that she wouldn’t have time to find him to pick a fight. But nothing is simple, as evidenced by literally everything that’s happened in the past several weeks, so he doesn’t bother to try to put it off any longer if that is what she’s seeking just now.

“Has the time come to listen to the list of complaints regarding how I handled my part of your mission at last?” he asks blandly, folding his hands over the book sitting in front of him on the table.

#( catalyst. )#( catalyst 001. )#blacked out n this was written already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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bllsbailey · 1 month

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Report: Don Lemon Tried to Squeeze Elon Musk on Production Deal, Demanded $5M, Tesla Cybertruck, X Equity

Former CNN anchor Don Lemon, who was fired from the leftist network in April 2023, hadn’t even aired his first show in his venture with Elon Musk before the X owner soured on the deal and summarily terminated him this week after an interview the two did together. Ever since, there’s been a slew of accusations going back and forth about why this went down, with Lemon accusing Musk of reneging on his free speech guarantees because he didn’t like the direction of the questions:

The one-and-half hour grilling included testy exchanges about Musk’s political leanings, his past drug use and the site’s content moderation policy. It is scheduled to run on YouTube next week.

Musk fired back by saying that Lemon’s approach was basically just “dull” and “underwhelming” and that he was trying to be “CNN, but on social media’, which doesn’t work, as evidenced by the fact that CNN is dying.”

Clearly, the interview must have been awkward, shall we say:

As the two continue lobbying accusations at each other, a new report from the NY Post claims that Lemon thought he had more juice than he really did and annoyed Musk by trying to put the squeeze on him with a series of outlandish demands.

The ex-CNN anchor sent over an astronomical wish list to Elon Musk during contract talks to host a show on the billionaire’s social media platform X – including a free Tesla Cybertruck, a $5 million upfront payment on top of an $8 million salary, an equity stake in the multibillion-dollar company, and the right to approve any changes in X policy as it relates to news content, according to a document reviewed by The Post. Lemon — who was expected to air an interview with Musk for next week’s debut episode on X — had also demanded a private jet flight to Las Vegas, a suite for him and his fiance, and that the company pay for their day drinking and massages, a source with knowledge of the situation said.

Gulp. That’s a lot of stuff for a fired former anchor to demand. It’s unclear what made him think that he would be worth any of that, since last I checked he wasn't in heavy demand and the ratings on his last show at CNN were buried in the basement.

Lemon’s agency vehemently denied he made such exorbitant requests, with an executive saying, “This is absolute, complete utter nonsense without an iota of truth to it.”

At this point we don't know why Musk canned the Lemon—was it because of his questioning, his demands, or both? What is clear is that this situation has gotten ugly quickly. I'm not surprised that the fired broadcaster annoyed Musk, because Lemon is an accomplished expert at annoying people. What does surprise me is that a man as smart as Musk didn't have the sense to stay as far away as he could from this character.

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now-we-say-c0ral · 1 year

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March 17,2023

I cancelled my bank shift today last Tuesday, I think, because I can't really handle working like how hard I worked last week. Last week was a whole new level of tired for me because I worked 6 days straight from Monday to Saturday. Woke up around 8:35am in the morning and had a weird dream which I can't exactly remember. Did a 6/6 attempt in Wordle today and I was quite afraid that my 40 streak win was about to go down the drain. Made myself some pancakes slathered with a protein hazelnut spread and my favorite dry roast from Nescafe. Did my laundry and played 2 rank games in Pokemon Unite and finished the final episode of You S4P2. It was quite good and impressive how Joe got away with everything again. After that gave Lindcae and the family back home a call and went to the gym. Since I didn't do a proper gym session yesterday, today was a super/suffer day for me. Back, chest, legs, and arms. Sheesh! Spent 3 hours in the gym today and was freaking exhausted. Went to Mark and Spencer's after to buy a birthday cake and a few other stuff for Dani's advance birthday celebration. She won't be here next week on her birthday because she'll be in Morocco with a colleague of her so we just planned an early celebration. Laksmi cooked us a very good pasta dish! It was so good and filling that I had seconds and the birthday cake was to die for. Had like 6 shots of tequila while the rest abstained because we me and Dani had a waiting list to do tomorrow with Mr. Hennebry. My friends confronted me about how they noticed that I was underperforming at work evidenced by the needle stick injury that I sustained yesterday and I personally think that I wasn't giving my best this week too. I think that it's the residue from last week's burnout. I'm glad that I have friends who tell me these stuff and not spread stuff behind my back. They're one of the closes people I have here in the UK and I'm beyond happy that I have met them. We just ate and drank and gossiped from 6pm to half past 11. It was quite a nice get together outside of work. Eddie texted me if he could go to a bar with his friends. I said yes and didn't think much about it. I have to trust him after everything. It's not going to be good if I say no on my part. I'm fine and I'm handling it quite well after everything. I also talked with Porcia about my dilemma if I should buy a laptop or a PC or a console just to play Diablo 4 and possibly any other game that I might like. Signs point to buying a Macbook. I hope I make the right decision. I have until June.

Today's thoughts were about me being a version of myself that the younger me would be proud of. I don't think that my younger self would be proud of me right now. It's nothing but a hallow shell of his former glory but I think my younger self would hold my hand and tell me that I'm capable of great things. I know I am. I just have to put myself out there. I'm so afraid of making mistakes that I miss opportunities and chances and let moments slip by. When these things come, I'll try to seize every opportunity to make new experiences and memories.

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sportsest · 1 year

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Portugal vs Ghana Prediction, Time, & Live Streaming

On November 24, Portugal and Ghana will compete in the tournament's opening game. Portugal's opening match in Pool H will be against Ghana, the lowest-ranked team in the tournament. One of the most expected European teams to triumph in Qatar, Portugal, will enter the game amidst a dispute between Cristiano Ronaldo and Manchester United, who have urged CR7 not to return to practice after his world cup season is complete. Otto Addo's crew has undergone many significant changes, so they might have something unique to offer.

Teams Overview

Ghana Despite their confidence-boosting warm-up victory against Switzerland last week in Abu Dhabi, Ghana begins the world cup in varied shape. Ghana must throw on their highest-scoring shoes if they want to get through a defense that has only conceded two goals in their previous seven games. Portugal The 61st-ranked squad in the most current FIFA world rankings is projected to be an easy match for the 2016 European Champions since Fernando Santos has an immensely skilled roster at his hands. Portugal, on either hand, is a highly good footballing country. Only two times, in 1966 and 2006, have they gone to the semifinals of a FIFA World Cup. They lost in the round of 16 in four of their past 5 competitions. Ronaldo, who may be competing in his final World Cup, would dearly prefer to alter it this time.

Head-to-Head

At the World Cup 2014 group stage, Ghana and Portugal only met once. Ghana won the match 1-2 as Asamoah Gyan's equal 10 minutes from the end reversed John Boye's penalty goal on the half-hour.

Watch Live Portugal vs. Ghana Match 2022

Watch Now Date 24-11-22 Time 9:00 PM Venue Stadium 974

Players to Watch

Both teams are not concerned about any injuries. Senior winger Andre Ayew will lead Ghana's assault, and the team is eager to see how Mohammed Kudus performs. The senior midfielder will not be scared by Cristiano Ronaldo's aura, who is expected to be Portugal's top player in the game. Rafael Leao, a forward for AC Milan, will be a fantastic young star to watch simultaneously.

Portugal vs Ghana Prediction

Larger teams have had it difficult at the FIFA World Cup 2022, as evidenced by the defeats of Argentina and Germany in their opening games against favorites Saudi Arabia and Japan, etc. Portugal will take the easy route and go for a 2-0 win. Read the full article

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kege97 · 2 years

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Biden faces down McConnell in clash on voting rights: The Note

The TAKE with Rick Klein

It’s a showdown more than half a year – perhaps even decades - in the making.

This week, Senate Democrats will try to pass a voting-rights overhaul that President Joe Biden has identified as critical to his agenda. The outcome is virtually preordained, with only 49 Democrats and not a single Republican expected to support the “For the People Act,” a version of which has already passed the House.

But whether the expected failure of this bill marks the end of something or the beginning of something else depends on how things play out. Biden and Senate Democratic leaders are challenging Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on terrain he’s familiar with, and with much of Biden’s domestic agenda in the balance.Sen. Joe Manchin’s proposed changes to the bill united Democrats for a brief moment – though maybe too well. McConnell is now touting the fact that Stacey Abrams and other prominent progressives are in league with Manchin to boast that all Republicans will oppose the efforts to change voting-rights laws at the federal level.

With 14 states and counting having passed more restrictive voting laws, this is no academic matter. The consequences are vast for voting as well as for the balance of Biden’s extensive agenda, with everything from infrastructure and immigration reform to policing and tax policy depending on some level of bipartisan buy-in.

Biden and McConnell know each other well, and some Democrats are hoping their colleagues – including Manchin – get to know the McConnell they’ve long known in the ensuing days.

Biden’s theory of governance is based on the kind of bipartisan cooperation McConnell has made a career trying to thwart when there’s been a Democrat in the White House. They both can’t be right about how Washington works.The RUNDOWN with Averi Harper

The past weekend saw countless celebrations of freedom in observance of Juneteenth -- momentum in support of the newest national holiday bolstered by the so-called reckoning on race since the murder of George Floyd.

It comes as prominent GOP voices have positioned themselves squarely in opposition to this attempted progression in the national consciousness.

Former Vice President Mike Pence told the audience at the Faith & Freedom Coalition Conference that "critical race theory is racism" and "Black lives are not endangered by police."

Sen. Ted Cruz told the conference-goers that "critical race theory is bigoted" and "every bit as racist as the Klansmen in white sheet" -- making a deeply offensive comparison between the white supremacist hate group that has a dark history of intimidation, terror and violence toward African Americans and an academic concept that aims to illuminate the impact of institutional racism.The fact is comments like that of Cruz and Pence are well received in many GOP circles, as evidenced by the applause at the weekend conference in Orlando, Florida.

As the Republican Party determines a post-Trump era direction in a nation that is only growing more diverse, it's talking points like the aforementioned comments that could stand in the way of any earnest outreach in communities of color.The TIP with Alisa Wiersema

With a high-stakes 2022 Senate contest on the horizon, Georgians could be seeing a Trump-supported, famous face join the race against Sen. Raphael Warnock.

In a recent video posted to Twitter, retired NFL running back and famed University of Georgia Bulldog, Herschel Walker, appeared to hint at a possible political future. In the video, Walker revs the engine of his sports car before posing next to its Georgia license plate and saying, "I'm getting ready and we can run with the big dogs."Former President Donald Trump issued a statement in March that urged Walker to jump into the 2022 race, saying, "He would be unstoppable, just like he was when he played for the Georgia Bulldogs and in the NFL. He is also a GREAT person. Run Herschel, run!"

Walker's alliance with Trump goes back decades -- when Trump became the owner of the New Jersey Generals in the early 1980s, he signed Walker to a lucrative contract. Now it remains to be seen whether Trump can offer Walker a springboard into politics by rallying his base behind him in what will be one of the toughest and most closely watched races of the 2022 cycle.THE PLAYLIST

ABC News' "Start Here" podcast. Monday morning's episode features ABC News Chief Global Affairs Correspondent Martha Raddatz in Iran, discussing the election of Ebrahim Raisi as president and how it could impact nuclear talks. Then, ABC News White House Correspondent MaryAlice Parks reports on the decision by U.S. Catholic bishops that could bar President Joe Biden from receiving communion. And ABC News Transportation Correspondent Gio Benitez talks about why the summer travel season has been so chaotic for airlines and what upcoming cruises could look like. http://apple.co/2HPocUL

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TODAY

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writer-in-theory · 2 years

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Holy Ground (Spencer Reid x Reader)

summary: reader moves into the apartment next to spencer's and begins an exchange of sticky notes on doors when she can’t ever seem to meet her new neighbor. series summary: a series of oneshots to celebrate the release of red (taylor's version). 19 songs, 19 fics. pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff, tiny tiny bit of angst in the middle content warnings: language, spencer being self-sacrificing, allusions to sex word count: 4.3k a/n: we made it. tonight red is being re-released and i’m so ready. thank you all so much for supporting this series. i mean it when i say it never would have gotten done without all of your kind words. you’ve made me an incredibly happy person over the past two and a half weeks. i’m so happy i got to share this project with you all, and i’m so proud of this. i’m going to take a break through thanksgiving from full-length oneshots/series because this was so much work and took a lot out of me, but i’ll be finishing up blurb requests so feel free to send more in. thank you all so much again, and let’s celebrate red tonight ❤

series masterlist masterlist send me a request!

“'Cause darling, it was good, never looking down and right there where we stood was holy ground..."

It’s the job of people to live as completely as possible and as such, it is the job of the home to preserve the evidence of this life. When all is said and done, the home keeps the memories of a life well-lived for your loved ones to find and cling to.

This apartment had done its job if evidenced by how long it was taking you to pack away. You never thought it would be this bittersweet to leave this place behind. It was always meant to be temporary; a place to sleep in while you got your life started. Now you were pulling paintings off of walls and stowing away your belongings, almost wishing you had a little more time to say goodbye.

Even years later, you would still remember this place with its leaky kitchen faucet and drafty bedroom window because it was the place you felt the most alive in since becoming an adult. It was your first home since college, the first place you lived alone. The apartment had been there for you when you got your job offer, the wooden floors creaking as you danced around the place. It had also been there for you during your most crushing heartbreak, the walls muffling your cries and providing a safe place for you to sleep after.

It was the place you met your first serious boyfriend. If someone had told you how you’d meet, you never would have believed it. You’d laugh them away and never give the relationship the chance to blossom. You were here though, sitting on the floor of your nearly empty apartment clutching a small box of memories and trying not to cry at the thought of leaving the place all of these memories were made in.

You picked up a sticky note—the first of many—and smiled at the looping words of your own handwriting.

No, you never would have guessed it would happen like this.

When your landlord stopped by to tell you the apartment next door was being filled, you were ecstatic. It had been two years since you’d moved in, and not once had it ever been occupied. You had to wonder what was wrong with it, considering how difficult it had been for you to find this apartment to rent in the first place. It certainly wasn’t the best place to live but there were definitely worse buildings in D.C. to pick from.

Despite your excitement, it had been a month and you have yet to meet your neighbor. It wasn’t for a lack of trying though, just he never seemed to be around. In fact, you hadn’t even seen them once. If your landlord hadn’t told you, it would be easy to assume the apartment was still unoccupied. Hardly any noise ever came from there, and you almost never seemed to hear the front door open or shut.

Most people would rejoice at having a seemingly perfect neighbor, but it became your new mission to befriend this elusive man. Not seeing any other choice, you grabbed a sticky note from your desk and wrote out the greeting in as nice handwriting as you could manage.

‘Hello! I’m your new neighbor, Y/N. I hope this isn’t weird but welcome to the building :)’

Scrambling so you wouldn’t be caught, you sprinted out to the hallway and slapped the note on the door before sprinting back to the safety of your apartment.

It took two days to receive a response. Honestly, you hadn’t been expecting anything at all so waking up to a purple sticky note stuck perfectly even and in the center of your door.

‘It’s not weird. I’m sorry I never introduced myself, I’m not a hermit I just work a lot. I’m Spencer.’

He sounds cute. The scrawl was a little shaky, some letters capitalized where they needn’t be, but that said a lot about him as a person. Was it true that messy handwriting could be indicative of intelligence? What kind of job would have him leaving early and not coming back until late? There were so many questions you had, and it all culminated in your wanting to get to know your neighbor more. So, you smiled and grabbed your own light yellow sticky note and wrote another message for him. This time, you walked leisurely to stick the note upon his door, a little crooked.

‘Good to meet you, Spencer. What do you do for work?’

Weeks went by, and suddenly you had a box of purple sticky notes piling up in your living room. Most were simple questions, you and Spencer getting to know one another through little messages on your doors.

You learned Spencer worked for the FBI as a profiler and that he got permission to paint the walls of his apartment a deep forest green because it was comforting to him. He likes to play chess so much that sometimes he’ll play solo games, which sounds harder than it actually is. He reads all kinds of books, even YA books that adults always told him he was ‘too smart for’ because according to him, no one could ever be too smart for books. He runs exclusively on coffee and sweets, and because of his work often forgets to stock his fridge.

As the days passed, you also learned some more personal things about your neighbor. His mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia before he was born and now he’s the only one left to visit her. He’s from Las Vegas but he’s come to adore the snow because it reminds him of how far he’s come since being that little kid in the desert. He’s still new to the FBI and is scared he won’t live up to their expectations for him.

In all that time, you never once saw his face. Somehow that made your relationship with him seem stronger. The two of you were able to connect without ever seeing or hearing one another, and you couldn’t wait to actually be able to place a face to the interesting person you’d met.

It was you who made the first move. You’d stuck a sticky note on his door, for the first time in weeks feeling nervous about it. Your hands shook as you pressed it there, feet moving a little quicker than normal to the safety of your apartment.

‘Hey, would you want to get coffee with me one morning before you have to work? You can say no’

That was how, two days later, you ended up standing out in the hallway shared by your apartments before the sun was even peeking through the skyline. When you heard his front door open and subsequently shut, you tried not to give away your excitement by whipping around to face him.

Spencer was gorgeous. His hair was messy but seemed to fall into place perfectly, brown eyes a little tired but kind. He was wearing a lot of layers; a button-up and vest, a winter coat, and scarf draped over his neck, but it worked for him.

“Hi,” he said a little awkwardly, giving a shy wave and muted smile.

“Hi,” you returned, feeling the same shyness creep up in you, “thanks for changing up your morning routine for me. It’s great to finally meet you.”

“I’m sorry it took so long,” Spencer apologized as the two of you set off down the street for the coffee shop. It was only a few buildings down from the complex, so soon enough you were sat down across from one another in strange silence.

“Why is this so weird?” you asked with a laugh, holding onto your cup of coffee for support. “We’ve been talking for weeks.”

“It’s strange to associate a face with everything I know about you,” Spencer admitted, “I’ve tried to imagine what you would look like.”

“I hope I lived up to your expectations,” you stated playfully, though there was a ring of truth to it. Spencer was so cute, way cuter than you had ever thought to imagine. It was impossible not to feel nervous about what he was expecting out of you.

“You’re as beautiful as your personality made you seem.” Spencer flushed a bit pink then, lips pursing a little as he looked down at his coffee.

“So where did work take you this time?” There had been no notes for five days, indicating that he’d recently taken a case. It was sometimes strange to imagine that his job was to catch the killers that other law enforcement teams couldn’t, that he was risking his life every day and then coming home to stick a silly note onto your door about the best way to chop an onion without crying. In your mind, these were practically two separate people: the hero, and the guy who enjoys talking to you.

“Atlanta. Our unsub was specifically targeting architecture majors.”

“Huh, freaky,” you answered, a shudder running down your spine at the thought of something so innocuous setting someone off in that way.

“How was work? Did you get that article turned in?”

You could feel the way your expression lit up at the mention of your article. It felt even better that Spencer had actually remembered you mentioning it. “I did! Sandra said there was a good chance it might make the front cover.”

“That’s fantastic, Y/N. I’m proud of you.” And you never thought hearing a practical stranger saying that would make you feel so good, but the warmth spreading in your chest was evidence enough.

“Thanks. It wouldn’t have been possible at all without your input on the history of college majors in the US.”

Talking with Spencer became as easy as writing notes. By the time he had to leave for work, it was easy to connect the person you knew from the sticky notes to the incredibly adorable man in front of you. You wanted to know more about him, wanted to continue getting closer to him.

And when you woke up the next morning, you knew Spencer thought the same way from the note stuck to your door.

‘I had fun today. Would you like to go on a date with me?’

Between both of your messy work schedules, it took two weeks to actually plan a date. The anticipation of it all was killing you, and by the time the night finally came around you were a nervous wreck. Dozens of outfits sat discarded around your room, none of them seeming good enough to go on a date with Spencer.

Because Spencer was sweet, and he was so perfect for you it was scary. You’d only been talking to him for a few weeks but it felt like you’d known him for years. There was no way you would mess this up, it couldn’t happen.

Eventually, you made it out to that same hallway, a strange fluttering in your stomach when Spencer wasn’t there. In the few coffee dates you’d had since the first, Spencer had never been late. In fact, he was more often early than anything else. Had he forgotten? Did he realize he didn’t see you that way?

Just as the disappointment was settling in, a flash of purple caught your eye on your door.

‘Meet me at the park across the street :)’

You shook your head, a small smile forming as the anticipation built again. What did Spencer have planned? So you set off walking, reaching the little park quickly enough.

This time of night, it was easy to find Spencer. He was standing there, a blanket spread out in the little parking lot of the park. He looked as nervous as you felt, fidgeting until he noticed you approaching. “You look beautiful,” he told you, voice soft enough to take your breath away.

“Thank you, you’re stunning too,” you told him, smiling wide at the pure surprise and happiness on his face. You’d tell him that every day until he was no longer surprised by the idea that someone could find him pretty. “Is this a picnic?”

“I was going to set it up under this really gorgeous tree, but I kept thinking about the pathogens that develop in the soil so now it’s here. Is that okay?” Spencer spoke quickly, eyebrows lifting a little and eyes studying your expression. He was a profiler, you knew, so it’d be impossible to turn off the studying of micro expressions.

It was a good thing you weren’t lying then. “It’s absolutely perfect, Spencer,” you reassured him, taking his hand and sitting yourselves down on the blanket. Sure, it wouldn’t be quite as comfy if you were set up in the padded grass, but if this was you two then it was beautiful.

“I also was going to cook but then I realized you shouldn’t be subjected to my cooking this early on so I got takeout from that place you talk about a lot.”

“Spencer, you don’t have to be nervous. This is perfect,” you told him, squeezing his hand before letting it go so the two of you could eat.

And eating dinner late at night in the middle of a dark parking lot was somehow the most wonderful date you’ve had in a while. Spencer was funny in a way that wasn’t expected, and you loved watching the way he slowly grew more comfortable with you. His laugh was infectious and his smile stole your heart.

Eventually, you ended up sitting across from him at a chessboard in the park. Your ankles were entwined together, his arms folded on the board and your elbows up so you could hold up your head in thought.

“Aha! Checkmate,” you cheered, grinning proudly when Spencer knocked over his king piece.

“Good game,” Spencer returned, his features relaxed into such a soft look that-oh.

You smiled back, a knowing little look that he caught onto far too quickly. Spencer was a genius, you already knew as much, and while you were brilliant in your own right there was no way you’d actually win a game of chess against him. “So, how long ago could you have won?”

“Approximately twenty-two minutes ago,” he admitted, reaching across the board to grab your hand, “but you looked so gorgeous when you were focused.”

“Well, I’m glad I could be a piece of art for you,” you teased, squeezing his hand and adding, “but next time I’ll win fair-and-square.”

“Is that so?” He seemed surprised, amused even as his lips parted and eyes widened.

“Uh-huh, so no holding back this time,” you challenged.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he laughed, and you lost within minutes but it didn’t matter because you were with Spencer. He was smiling, and looking at you with those brown eyes and even though this was the first date, you knew the truth. You loved him.

Life moved quickly, after.

You would have a lot of sleepovers, sitting up talking, or watching each of your favorite movies. There were still notes though, little good mornings and sweet dreams offered up to each other. It should have scared you how quickly things were moving between you too, but instead, you could only picture how happy you’d be in the future if you were already this smitten with him.

It was a few months after your first date that you wound up cuddling in bed with Spencer. While your lips knew his intimately, the skin around your hips was surprised to feel his hand pressed against it, brushing over your abdomen with so much care it made your heart ache.

“I want you,” he whispered into the space between you, revealing his clear intentions.

It was terrifying, having something so wonderful that you cared about so much. Never once had you felt this way about another person. Still, you wrapped your arms around him and invited Spencer in with a quiet, “Then have me.”

And when you two laid nearly breathless wrapped up in each other, Spencer spoke the words you’d been thinking since that first date. “I love you, Y/N.” It sent your heart soaring, far above where you ever thought it could end up. You loved Spencer and he loved you.

The moment was broken with a quiet noise of panic from him though. You could feel his breath hitch in his chest as he moved so he could look you in the eye. Amber eyes wild, he quickly added, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to just say it like that, I had this whole plan that I would t-”

“Don’t apologize, please. Not for that,” you stopped him, resting your hand on his cheek so he understood how much you cared about him. “I love you too, Spencer Reid. We don’t always need plans, we’ll figure it out together.”

And you would never admit it, but you cried the next morning when you saw the note he’d written for you.

‘I can’t believe I get to tell you how much I love you every day.’

‘Believe it, Spence. I love you, have a good day at work.’

Nothing could be perfect.

When you love someone as much as you loved Spencer, there would always come a time when it starts to scare you. That time came when Spencer came home from a case and immediately shut himself into his apartment, not once stopping to say hello to you.

He always checked in after his cases, he knew how much it scared you that he was running straight into danger all of the time. It didn’t matter how many times Spencer reminded you that he wore Kevlar, you still didn’t quite take in full breaths of air until he was safely stood in front of you.

So the next day, you went to check on him. When he opened the door, you could hear the gasp of air you took at the sight. There were bruises and cuts all over Spencer’s face, none of it seeming like it should belong on such a beautiful, sweet man. You knew he risked his life daily, you just never expected to see the physical evidence of it.

“What happened to you?” you gasped, hands gently resting on his face, thumb running over one of the bruises on his cheek.

“It’s nothing,” Spencer told you, but it suddenly made sense why he’d avoided you last night. He knew how bad this was. If his face was this bad off, how about the rest of him? He seemed stiff, shoulders tensed and trying not to move too much. How had he gotten this hurt?

“Like hell it’s nothing,” you shot back, “you got hurt.”

“That’s part of the job, Y/N,” Spencer sighed, but he wasn’t looking at you. There was guilt in his eyes, he knew damn well what he was doing. Playing it off like this was meant to comfort you but all it did was frustrate you endlessly.

“I know, but I hate seeing you so hurt,” you told him, “Tell me you caught the guy who did this to you?”

“Well, considering it was my boss I don’t think that’s possible.”

“What?” you practically shrieked, face morphed into an expression of horror. In what world would one of his teammates ever need to hurt him like this?

“We were held hostage. We needed a way for me to grab the gun at his ankle, so he pretended to side with the unsub and kicked me around a little. It’s okay, Y/N, I’ve had far worse than this before.”

And you knew that, you did. He’d told you late at night all about the horrors he’d experienced in high school, which only served to make this situation worse. It didn’t matter that it was a plan, someone he loved and trusted still made him hurt like this.

“This isn’t okay, Spencer,” you sighed, trying not to look too hard at the injuries. Honestly, the image of his unit chief doing this to him was making you sick to your stomach. “You shouldn’t have to be hurt like this just to catch a guy.”

“It was worth it,” Spencer snapped, his own frustration building in his chest. “You don’t understand. I’d do anything for this job, to catch these horrible people.”

“You’d let this job kill you?”

“If that’s what it takes to make the world a livable place, then yes,” Spencer answered resolutely, taking a step back so your hands were no longer on him. “If you can’t understand that, then we’re a bad idea.”

“I agree,” you whispered, tears building in your eyes. It was terrifying to love someone so much and know you could lose them so quickly. What would happen a year or two down the road? Would Spencer throw everything he had into this job so much that he got hurt? That he got killed? “I can’t sit around and wait to hear that you were killed. I can’t, I’m sorry.”

For the first time since that night spent in each others’ arms, you’d be going to sleep alone with only a wall separating you from him. You’d cry, knowing he could likely hear it through the thin material between you.

And in the morning, you’d awake to no note.

It took a week.

In that time, you tried to return to life as you knew it before Spencer Reid. Everything reminded you of him though. You’d shoved the box of sticky notes under your bed, you shoved the book on profiling so far to the back of your bookshelf that you hoped you’d one day forget about ever wanting to study up on his job.

Still, reminders of Spencer were everywhere in your apartment. The stack of sticky notes you’d bought in bulk sitting on the floor beside your desk, the kitchen where you taught Spencer how to cook all of his favorite meals so he’d be self-sustaining.

Every time you stepped foot in your apartment, it felt a little like you were on sacred, holy ground. You couldn’t help but reflect on all of the good you shared together, how Spencer had lightened your life like you hadn’t known was possible. You laid curled up on the couch and prayed that you’d someday find a love as beautiful as the one between you and Spencer.

And a week later, just as you were beginning to realize it was over, a purple note stuck to your door reawakened your faith.

‘I’m sorry, can we talk?’

You would. The next morning you’d beat the sun awake and sprint to the coffee shop where you’d first met Spencer in person. You’d get coffee for both of you and hurry back, knocking on his door wildly.

He’d answer with the same wild expression, relieved to see you were actually standing there in front of him. “I’m sorry,” you’d both say at the same time, and then, “I missed you.”

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Spencer told you, “I don’t want to die on this job, not when I have you to come home to.”

“I’ll take the risk,” you told him in return, knowing deep down that a love like this was worth it. “I know you’re saving other lives, just be careful with yours too.”

“I will, I promise.” Spencer kissed you then, filling you with so much love your body could hardly stand it. “I love you, Y/N, I don’t want to lose you.”

“I love you too. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Are you ready?” A voice surprised you out of your head, pulling a smile onto your lips as you recognized the voice. “You know, that doesn’t look like packing to me.”

“I was looking at the sticky notes,” you explained, watching as his face melted.

“You kept them?”

“Of course, I did,” you returned, pulling one from the top before closing the lid on the box and standing up, “that’s our story, I had to keep it.”

Spencer grinned, taking the note from where you’d extended it out on the tips of fingers. “I think this one is my favorite,” he admitted. It was impossible not to notice the way his brown eyes softened as he read the note. He had a reading speed that was nearly superhuman, but his gaze still lingered on the words for much longer than necessary.

“It’s my favorite too,” you answered, pressing a kiss to his lips and taking back the note when he was distracted enough. You placed it back in the box with all of the rest, mournful that this part of your story was over but so ready to begin the next chapter. “I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?” Spencer asked, picking up one of the few boxes you had left in the apartment.

“I’m so ready, Spencer.” So the two of you walked out of the apartment, you locking it up for the last time. He’d lock up his for the last time too, and you’d drop off your keys together with a grin. You would pile into your car and head off for the apartment you’d found for two.

‘I love you. Move-in with me? YES, ABSOLUTELY. ❤’

SERIES TAGLIST

@samuel-de-champagne-problems @alexlovescriminalminds @reidsbookclub @givemeth @eurydice-but-gay @fightingdragonswithreid @girloncorneliastreet @silverhetdanes @just-a-human-witha-pen @shemarmooresfedora @rexorangecouny @awesomebooklover17 @safespacespence

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #loving you was red #spencer reid one shot #spencer x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #my fics

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digital-corruption · 3 years

Text

I started working on this idea over a month ago, but I scrapped it because I couldn't get the words right. This time around the words just flowed easier. I decided to keep it non-gendered, my first attempt at writing something intentionally non-gendered throughout the writing process. Please forgive me if it didn't work and I'll go bury my head in the sand. 😅

Disappear

A Jake X MC one-shot

⚠️ Mention of a date rape drug.

You weren't even sure what you were doing there at the local night club costume party. Somehow your friends convinced you to go, to get you out of your rut.

“It’s been months since you even considered another human being, never mind the last time you had any!” they said.

So what? What was wrong with that? Other people just didn’t appeal to you anymore, not like he did. You tried connecting, but it was never the same. How on earth was a stupid costume party going to change that?

“You can be whoever or whatever you want to be! Be free!” they encouraged.

Yet you were low on cash so the thrown together black cat costume was literally the best thing you could come up with. So nuch for being whatever you wanted to be. You didn’t expect much out of the other costumes... until you got there.

Oh the costumes! You wondered if everyone else had personal tailors and make-up artists. You instantly felt worse in your cheap cat costume, but your friends wouldn’t let you back down. They dragged you over to the bar for the special cocktails of the night.

“No one cares! A few drinks and neither will you!” they pushed.

Sure, a couple of drinks in, you started to feel the buzz. As your friends dragged you to the dance floor something on the opposite side of the venue caught your eye.

The mask.

No, it couldn’t be. It was your mind playing tricks on you. You were seeing what you wanted to see. He was in the wind and running from his pursuers. He wouldn’t be at this silly event.

Or someone else had the same shoe string budget you had and the Guy Fawkes mask was the best thing they could come up with. Yes, that was it. That made perfect, logical sense. Logic was the only thing that kept you from going crazy.

The alcohol was flowing through your system now, you began to relax and fall into the rhythm with your friends on the dance floor. Your friends encouraged some guys to join in despite your hesitation. The music, the alcohol, the pressure, it all started to become too much. You had to leave the floor to get space.

Your friends, the guys, they followed.

More drinks were bought as the small, introduction chat started. Slowly they started partnering up. Yours kept trying on you. He seemed nice enough, but you knew it wasn’t the same. Your friends kept egging you to give him a chance. One by one, the partners split off to either go back to the dance floor or elsewhere. You were stuck with yours. He was really trying hard now, but the alcohol still wasn’t making you forget your past. It sat on you like a fog that wouldn’t lift. Another drink was bought. Your head started to swirl, so many voices in your head telling you to just leave, stop trying to move on, it will never be possible. Just a bit more drink, then you would forget, right?

A hand blocked you from taking that next sip.

“Don't drink that,” the voice connected to the hand spoke.

The hand pulled the glass from you and dumped its contents on the ground. Your eyes followed the hand, which was connected to a black hoodie and the mask.

“Hey! Get lost, loser!” your ‘partner' yelled, getting right into the face of the mask.

“The only loser here is the one that feels the need to use drugs,” the mask hissed. “The police have already been informed you are up to your old tricks.”

The guy reeled back, “Who the fuck are you?”

“My identity is irrelevant,” the mask replied, the words rung in your head. “You have chosen the wrong mark. I have everything I need to destroy your life. Don’t waste our time. Just go.”

“I'd do as he says,” you sneered. “Because he’s not kidding, even if I think his end for you is too tame.”

“What, are you working together!?” The guy spat on the mask, then left.

You grabbed a napkin and wiped the mask as best as you could with your hand shaking with anger still.

“Thank you,” you muttered.

He took your hand. One pulled the napkin from you and wiped the mask himself while the other held yours. You tried to catch the eyes behind the mask, but the lighting was too poor. Your heart raced. You oh so wanted it to be him behind the mask, but you were so afraid of it not being him. That was a level of pain you couldn’t handle on top of everything else tonight.

“Sorry, I was reading your messages again,” the voice spoke quietly. “A costume party provided a unique opportunity.”

“To hide your identity,” you smiled.

“And be anonymous,” the mask nodded.

“If that’s the case, I'll gladly go to every costume party out there,” you said hopefully.

The mask laughed, “I’m afraid they'll start to notice your strange behavior.”

You frowned, “Just tonight?”

“I'm afraid so,” he nodded solemnly. “They’re still monitoring you.” He saw your depressed expression. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on making this more difficult for you. I wanted to see you again, but I couldn’t tolerate what I saw him do.”

“You expect me to forget tonight!?” you narrowed your eyes at him. “I could never!”

He sighed, “I suppose not.”

“They’re not watching in here? Take me with you! Make me disappear with you!” you insisted.

“MC! You have your whole life. I could never take you from that!” he protested.

“What life? I've been a walking zombie since you’ve disappeared! Nothing in my life has felt real anymore!” you argued. “Just a few days! Just so this isn’t just a blip!”

“MC, my life isn’t easy. It is full of unknowns,” he lowered his head. “But if I say no, you’re going to recklessly follow me, aren’t you? Even if it puts you in danger?”

“You bet!” you smiled.

He groaned and looked around the room, “Then we better leave while it’s still crowded. Stay close to me.”

You followed your hacker as he weaved through the crowds. He glanced behind a few times to make sure you were keeping up as he led you to the backstage area and out the side exit to the alleyways. There were a few people mingling there. Some were involved in their own illegal affairs so no one was too interested to look at the other. You shivered as your body started to acknowledge the cold, night air. Your hacker noticed and immediately took off his hoodie to give to you to wear. He still wore his mask, but now you could see his chin-length black hair draping on either sides of his mask. You longed to run your fingers through it.

You were led through a maze of alleys and abandoned buildings to a half-constructed office building. The construction had been abandoned, but had housed a number of drifters and vagrants as evidenced by the remains and graffiti. He led you up so many flights of stairs that you had lost count. Somewhere near the top, he opened the stairway door to a half-completed level. In the completed side you could see his computers and monitors set up with wires snaking along the floor, connecting to the construction’s power supply. In the uncompleted half you saw his meager furnishings overlooking the city skyline. The view took your breath away.

While you stood in awe of the view, he reached for his mask and pulled it away. You turned to look at him finally. His eyes met yours and he was so much more than you could’ve imagined.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Jake,” you smiled.

He smiled back, “The pleasure is mine.” His expression suddenly soured. “This is very selfish of me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Jake, I haven’t felt this alive in a very long time and we've interacted for less than an hour,” you assured him. “I told you it doesn’t matter where we are.”

Jake smiled shyly and moved towards you slowly, still a bit unsure. You moved in as well to meet his lips halfway in a tender kiss that sealed your fate. That was the moment you knew you had made the right choice and no one could tell you otherwise.

In the days and weeks that followed, your identity slowly vanished, records disappeared into the ether. You became an unknown that couldn’t be traced. None of your family and friends ever saw you again, but you did leave them subtle messages to let them know you were ok. As more challenging as life was on the move, you were never more nor alive than you were with Jake. It was a life you'd never give up.

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood jake x player #duskwood fanfiction #love is love

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dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3 · 3 years

Text

The Problem with Perfection Chapter 10 spoilers!

Hey all! So, a couple people asked for this, so I figured I’d post it. It’s chapter 8 of the companion to TPWP, The Problem with Mondo, which corresponds with chapter 10 of TPWP. Yes, this confuses me a lot too, the fact that the chapters don’t align. -.-

Anyway! Don’t read this if you’ve not read TPWP chapter 10, since it will definitely spoil that chapter, ha. Warning for an overabundance of foul language and some sexualized thinking, as well as an absent thought of suicide, same as in TPWP. This chapter is super long, about 20,000 words, and I’m posting all of it because... why not, am I right? Ha.

I did cut a few sentences from this chapter because they might spoil things for later chapters of TPWP, but they don’t really contain anything major.

The chapter is below the cut! Hope y’all like. :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mondo is angry. Blindingly angry. So angry he doesn’t know why he’s angry, but honestly, what else is new? He just knows that he’s angry and the reason he is angry is that goddamn motherfucking kid and his goddamn motherfucking glasses-

“They! Are!! Glasses!!! Just!!! Wear them!!!” the boy grits out, thrusting his goddamn hand out towards Mondo, looking like he is about five fucking seconds from bashing his head against the goddamn wall. Mondo almost wishes he fucking would, to save him the fucking trouble! Unable to help himself, he scowls and crosses his arms, shaking his head firmly, so fucking pissed it ain’t even funny.

“No! I ain’t no fuckin’ nerd!” Mondo yells back, glaring like he was born to do it. Unfortunately, it seems so was Ishimaru, as the kid is glaring like his life depends on it, as fiery and beautiful passionate as ever. That goddamn motherfucking...

“Just! Wear them! The doctor says you need them! You don’t have to wear them all the time! Just when you’re reading! Stop! Being an idiot!”

“Me?! I ain’t no fuckin’ idiot, you’re a fuckin’ idiot! If ya think I’m gonna wear that shit, yer outta yer goddamn mind! Now get that shit outta my face, ya fuckwad, or I’m gonna bash yer head in!”

“Like heck you will! You’re all bark and no bite, Owada! Now just! Wear! The! Glasses! You said you were okay with them when you bought them! I will force you to wear them, don’t think I won’t!”

“Oh, you motherfuckin’-!”

“U-uh, g-guys?”

Mondo and Ishimaru turn, as one, to glare at the intruder on their private fucking conversation. Okay, so maybe they’re in the middle of the hallway outside their dorm rooms, but fuck! That don’t mean shit! Eavesdropping is a nasty fucking habit and if this goddamn motherfucker doesn’t butt the fuck out right the fuck now-

“Shut up!” the pair shouts in unison, before turning to glare at each other again.

Mondo doesn’t know why he’s so angry. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, or why he has been doing this for the past week and a half. From hot, to cold, to hot, to cold, again and again and again, never fucking ceasing. One minute he’s fine, relaxed as shit and not at all angry, maybe even feeling kinda good, and then the next...

And he doesn’t know why. Why he’s doing this. Why he’s fucking ruining this shit, like he fucking ruins every fucking thing. He... h-he just...

Things had been okay, you know? Between him and Ishimaru. At first. Sure, they weren’t really friends, evidenced by how they are still referring to one another by last name, but they’d been friendly enough. Mondo had taken care to keep his anger in check, and— to his surprise— it... it hadn’t actually been that hard. It seems that Ishimaru can be pretty fucking cool when they’re not at odds.

He’s also a great fucking tutor. He somehow manages to not sound sanctimonious and pretentious when explaining shit, instead looking so fucking earnest and like he genuinely wants to just... help.

Because of that, they’d gotten along pretty well those first few days. Ishimaru had been determined to get him brought up to speed before they started the fucking novel, so he’d taken care to spend a couple hours a day hanging around Mondo, at various times. The pair usually spent an hour or so in the library after class ended, but more than that, they just... they would walk together between classes, Ishimaru rambling on and on about what they’d just learned about in class. Mondo doesn’t know why he’d allowed it, usually not caring about shit like that, but somehow... somehow, it had been nice. Hearing Ishimaru talk about the shit they’d learned, the kid better able to impart knowledge in the ten fucking minutes they had between classes than the teachers were able to in the hour plus they had. It’s not at all the sorta shit Mondo would have expected himself to enjoy, let alone look forward to, but shit. There they were.

But then... Mondo got stupid. He overstepped his bounds and got fucking scared, fuck.

They’d been in Ishimaru’s room. Mondo doesn’t know why he’d made the offer to go to the kid’s room rather than the library, like they usually did, like was safe, but he... he had. And the kid had fucking accepted, and so there they were, sitting on the hall monitor’s fucking couch, sitting too fucking close. The kid was reading the short story Teach had assigned to the class, the pair realizing it was just... easier, while Mondo waited for the nurse to contact the eye doctor for him, since it turned out that yeah, his eyes were kinda fucked up, shit.

He had felt so fucking weird inside, the first time the kid had read to him, since they’d been in the library and he’d been nervous someone would see them and think Mondo was an idiot who needed to be fucking read to, but... shit. This time it had just been... different. Without the fear of being judged (since Ishimaru never fucking judged him, not ever, god fucking damn), he... he’d been able to listen to the kid reading without any fucking reservations. And he’d had to admit that- that he... he liked it. A lot. Like... fucking a lot.

So fucking much that it had made him feel relaxed for the first time... shit. Prolly ever. Ishimaru just had a nice sounding voice, ya know? It was strangely deep, at times, when he got lost in the story, his words not too fast but not too slow. He actually emoted when he spoke, too, the sound not a dull and dry monotone like so many fucking other people he’s heard read before. It just... made him feel so fucking calm inside, like the monster inside of him had been fucking purring.

And... and then...

Mondo had let his head drop down onto Ishimaru’s shoulder, eyes closing in contentment, the kid faltering for one split second, breath hitched, before he’d smoothly continued, like it had never happened. And with his eyes closed and his head resting on a warm, comfortable shoulder, hearing that wonderful cadence from that wonderful, beautiful mouth... he hadn’t been able to stop the thought. And the thought he had was...

God, his voice is so fucking nice, isn’t it...? Wonder what it would sound like screaming your name as you pound the fuck outta him. He’d prolly be loud as shit, so fucking passionate, clawing you to all hell, but damn if you’d mind. Shit... wouldn’t that be fucking nice...

He had been, to put it mildly, freaked the fuck out.

His eyes had shot open the second the thought had crossed his mind, heart fucking pounding as he wondered where the goddamn fuck that shit came from. Ishimaru had been startled, looking at him with his wide fucking eyes, lips opened softly in shock, voice faltering for the first time and Mondo... Mondo couldn’t fucking handle it, holy fucking shit.

He’d immediately stood and stammered out some bullshit about needing to check on his hog, before fucking bailing, eyes wide and heart an absolute mess. He had, indeed, gone out to his hog and rode around for a bit, not wanting to think, but he’d been unable to help it. To stop it. And it... it made him feel...

He’s not gay. Okay? He’s fucking not. There’d be no fucking problem if he were, but he just ain’t. He likes chicks, something he knows better than anything else, something he’s known since he was a fucking kid, goddamn. He’d even made sure to look at his porno mags that night, reassured when he felt his dick harden so fucking hard as he saw the tits and pussy that always made him so fucking hard to see.

So, he wasn’t gay. He fucking couldn’t be gay, and it’s not possible for him to like both, so he figured that the thought had meant... meant Mondo wanted to fucking pound Ishimaru’s head in, not- n-not any other meaning of the word that it could have meant. He guessed that he didn’t like being around Ishimaru as much as he had assumed and that he actually hated him, after all.

As freaked out as he’d been, he took hold of that idea and fucking ran with it. He told himself that he hated the kid, of course he hated him, his voice was fucking annoying as shit, not nice, not nice at all!

And so, the next day, he’d been cold to the kid. So fucking cold. And when the kid had tried to approach him after home room ended, looking open and earnest and so fucking cute-

Mondo hadn’t been able to handle it. His stomach had clenched, and his heart had fucking lurched, and he told himself it was hatred he felt, it had to be fucking hatred. And so, he’d snarled at the kid, telling him to ‘get the fuck away from me, freak!’ before he’d run off, heart aching so fucking stupidly.

He had considered skipping class, getting on his hog and fucking booking it, but he needed to give his girl a break, and he still kinda wanted to try the whole ‘giving school a chance’ thing, so he’d eventually decided to storm into class, even if he’d been five minutes late. He’d refused to look at Ishimaru, though, thinking that seeing his stupid fucking pathetic face would fucking destroy him infuriate the shit out of him, and as soon as class ended, he’d shot out, not needing to pack anything up since he’d not fucking brought anything, shit.

That had kept happening the rest of the day. Every class they had together (which was pretty much every fucking class, god fucking damn this school) Mondo would carefully keep his eyes off the kid, ignoring the feel of sad, hurt, bright red eyes as they bored into him. After the second class, the kid had tried to chase after him, tried to talk to him, but Mondo would fucking turn and head the opposite fucking direction of their next class, and he knew the kid wouldn’t dare risk being late, so he’d give up pretty quick. He’d constantly be looking in class, though, lips pulled down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Not that Mondo was fucking looking! Shit!

It wasn’t until Ishimaru had cornered him outside his dorm room that night, looking so fucking hurt and upset and not a little bit annoyed that they’d managed to resolve things.

In that Ishimaru had been so fucking annoying that Mondo had immediately started yelling, causing Ishimaru to yell back, his words bleeding hurt, making Mondo feel like absolute scum. They had been loud enough to garner the attention of most of their classmates, even fucking Togami gracing them with his condescending presence, which had made Mondo even more pissed, honestly, wanting nothing more than to be anywhere fucking else.

It was when the kid looked about ready to fucking cry that Mondo had had enough. His insides were squirming, and he felt so fucking scared, for reasons he still doesn’t understand, but he... h-he hadn’t wanted to make Ishimaru cry again. After spending several days interacting with Ishimaru, having a lot of fucking conversations that hadn’t actually ended in the kid’s tears, he... he hadn’t wanted to go back to that.

And so, with all the confused fucking emotions swirling inside him, he’d yelled ‘fuckin’ fine, ya goddamn bastard! I’ll fuckin’ meet you and do that goddamn fuckin’ assignment tomorrow! Now leave me the fuck alone!’ before storming into his room and slamming the door shut so loud it made even his ears ring.

He’d then promptly stormed into the shower, turning the water on as hot as it could go, the water fucking hurting, but he’d wanted it to. He just... he’d felt so... so...

Confused...

He’d never felt this way for anyone before. So angry and scared and confused and yet also so fucking happy, so bizarrely, stupidly happy. Ishimaru fucking... he made him happy. And he didn’t know how to handle that, because clearly, he still hated the kid... right? Right? What other option was there? Why did he want to hit Ishimaru (and he had to want to hit him, it was the only fucking option that made any fucking sense) if he didn’t hate him?

But he’d agreed— stupidly— to meet with the kid for another fucking tutoring session after class the next day. And while the thought had made his insides squirm, he... fuck. He hadn’t wanted to make the kid cry again. God, did he not want that. Even if he did hate him— which he must, he must— he... fuck.

He couldn’t make him cry.

He wasn’t his goddamn old man.

And so, when he got out of the shower, he’d resolved to contain his anger the next day. He’d push it down, keep it locked up tight tight tight, and he wouldn’t let it hurt Ishimaru. He’d gotten into bed (still hated it, but he was slowly getting use to the ridiculously plush material) and fallen into a fitful sleep, dreams full of wide, hurt red eyes, a sad voice begging him to explain why he was hurting him so. He’d woken an hour early with a start, heart pounding, and had spent the remaining time until he usually got up doing push-ups again and again and again, until he didn’t remember the dream anymore.

And then, when he went into class, carrying his supplies for once... he’d given the kid a small, sheepish smile, stomach roiling with all the emotions within it. He’d then spent the rest of home room doodling absently on the notebook Ishimaru had helped him pick out from the school store, doing his best to not think of everything and psych himself out. He’d even managed to feel almost calm as he let himself draw, something he rarely allows himself to do, but always has kinda enjoyed, even if he’s shit at it.

Once home room ended, he’d waited for Ishimaru at the door, telling him as casually as he could that the nurse had contacted him the day before, saying she’d scheduled an eye doctor (he still can’t remember the official name Ishimaru called the dude, shit) appointment for 3:00 the next day, hesitantly asking the kid if he had wanted to come along. He could tell that the kid was taken aback, clearly not having expected such a thing, but he’d still stammered out an acceptance, looking so flustered it wasn’t funny when Mondo turned to look at him with a small, soft smile. He’d not meant to look at the kid like that, but he’d just... been unable to help it.

The rest of the day had gone well, the tutoring session going nicely like it had before that stupid fucking bullshit two days prior. It had happened in the library again, which Mondo figured would be safer. He’d almost started to hope that things would stay that way, stay as calm and easy and nice, but then-

Mondo got angry. Again.

He doesn’t even know why, he never fucking does, but the kid had just... he’d been so fucking patient, helping Mondo pick out a pair of ‘reading glasses,’ since the doc had said he had pretty bad close-up vision and would be benefited from having prescription reading glasses, not just the over-the-counter stuff you find at drug stores. Mondo had felt so fucking lost, no idea what any of the bullshit meant, but Ishimaru had... he’d been so fucking helpful, explaining the complicated terminology and shit, helping him find a pair that didn’t make him look too much like a fucking nerd. And the pair he settled on was honestly kinda nice. It was a rectangular silver metal frame that had deep purple plastic on the sides, and it actually make him look kinda cool... if a bit nerdy. He’d given the salesperson his school insurance card and was pleasantly surprised to find he’d not have to pay a penny for the frames, since the school covers shit like that.

It was then, as he and Ishimaru exited the shop and the kid absently commented that the glasses made him look very smart that Mondo just... fucking lost it.

And he doesn’t even know why.

It just... it made him feel weird inside. Being around the kid. Being soft with him. And he was. Soft. Soft and kind and fucking gentle. And the kid was the exact same back. The entire time they’d been in the shop, Mondo had been thinking how nice it had felt. How domestic. The panic and fear had been slowly rising in him the entire time they’d been in the store, and he’d done all he could to push it the fuck down, but he... he hadn’t...

He’d left the kid standing there, looking so fucking confused, as he hopped on his hog and drove away. He’d not cared how the kid would get back to the school, he had refused to ride with Mondo since it made him ‘nervous’ anyway, so it wasn’t his fucking problem.

And that pattern just... kept repeating. Mondo would get angry, say something toxic to the kid, and storm away. The kid would wait a couple of hours, maybe try and talk with him after class or something, only to eventually corner him and force him to talk to him, looking so fucking fed up, but also so fucking upset and sad and confused. Like he didn’t know why Mondo was doing this to him. Like he didn’t know why Mondo was being so fucking difficult. Like he... he didn’t...

Didn’t know why he fucking bothered...

And… honestly? Mondo didn’t know why either. Why he kept trying. Why he was so stubborn, always chasing after Mondo even after Mondo fucking shoved him away, sometimes literally. Even when Mondo would get so fucking nasty, making tears build up in the kid’s eyes, frustration clear in his every movement.

For almost two weeks this occurred, again and again and again, and Mondo... Mondo doesn’t know why the kid doesn’t just leave him already. Why he doesn’t just say ‘the hell with it,’ realize Mondo isn’t fucking worth it, and leave his ass. Like every other person on the face of this goddamn planet...

It’s only a matter of time until he does, though. Leave him. It’s what always was going to happen, since Mondo couldn’t ever hope to hold onto someone so very, very good. So very, very nice. Mondo is poison. He’s gas. He only knows how to destroy and break and hurt.

He’s not allowed something nice.

He’s not allowed someone nice.

He’s just...

Not worthy of it.

Case in fucking point...

“Look. Owada-kun,” Ishimaru spits, hands clenched around the stupid glasses case that he for some reason has (Mondo doesn’t even know how he’d gotten a hold of them, shit), looking like he wants to crush them, shit. “I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this! You picked them out! You said they were fine! Why! Why have you changed your mind!”

Mondo scowls at the words, heart racing and swirling and hurting, hurting, hurting, and he doesn’t wanna be doing this, wants to stop, but he can’t, he can’t, he fucking can’t! He doesn’t know how to stop this, doesn’t know how to make this go away, all he knows how to do is break and hurt and destroy, destroy, destroy-

“I ain’t changed shit! I never fuckin’ agreed ta wear fuckin’ glasses, now get the fuck outta my face!”

It’s a lie. They both know it’s a lie, he can see the anger rising on Ishimaru’s face as he processes the abject lie. Mondo had, in fact, agreed on the glasses, had even kinda liked them, but he can’t concede that, can’t say he does, if he does then- then that means he’s okay with this, this weird thing he has going on with Ishimaru, and he doesn’t know if he can handle that, handle the proof that Ishimaru is so fucking amazing, the proof that Mondo doesn’t fucking deserve him, proof that... t-that he...

Mondo can’t take it. He can’t fucking take it! He tries to leave, to get away, to fucking end this shit already, but then Ishimaru is grabbing hold of him, holding so fucking tight, and Mondo tries to break free, tries to get away, but the kid just doesn’t fucking let go, and Mondo is so fucking freaked out, he just wants to leave, please god, let him just leave, don’t let him break this fucking kid again, god, please-

“You-! You are the most infuriating, pig-headed, arrogant... jerk I have ever had the misfortune to meet! If I never saw your face again, it wouldn’t be long enough!”

“Oh, I’m so wounded, please don’t call me anymore fuckin’ names like that, how the fuck am I ever gonna recover?!” Mondo snarls, sarcasm so thick he’s sure even Ishimaru will be able to pick up on it, wanting to stop but not being able to. “Grow the fuck up, ya cock suckin’ assfucker! Learn some better fuckin’ insults or don’t even bother tryin’ ta play!”

“Just because I am too sophisticated to resort to such foul language does not mean anything! You may be a lowly, classless heathen, but I, for one, refuse-”

“Oh, so now ya think yer fuckin’ better than me?! I told ya already, y’ain’t goddamn shit, Ishimaru! Ain’t no shit at all!”

“I am one hundred times the man you will ever hope to be! And if I’m not... feces, then you’re not even worth anything at all! Y-you’re... you’re an amoeba, so tiny and insignificant that it’s a miracle you think you’re relevant at all!”

“What the fuck did ya call me, ya son ofa bitch?!”

Mondo sees the kid open his mouth— likely to fire something back, barely any space between them— holding onto Mondo’s arm so fucking tight, like his life depends on it or something, looking so fucking pissed and angry and hurt and fucking beautiful, so fucking beautiful, god fucking damnit-

But before the kid can say anything, another voice pipes up, the same voice as earlier, making Mondo’s rage reach a paramount, oh god-

“Aw, come on! I thought you guys resolved things already, do you really have to do this?! Please!”

Mondo turns to the fucking eavesdropper, snarling at the beyond fucking average boy. Naegi turns super fucking pale at the look, but he doesn’t cower away for once. Mondo doesn’t care. He’s far passed the point of caring.

“I told ya ta stay the fuck outta this!”

Naegi frowns, but Mondo doesn’t give him a chance to say any other stupid ass thing before he’s turning back to Ishimaru, eyes practically spitting fire as he stares so deep into Ishimaru’s that it feels almost like a physical embrace. It makes Mondo’s breath hitch for some stupid fucking reason, his stomach swirling as he looks deep into the most gorgeous fucking eyes he’s ever fucking seen-

But he can’t feel things like that, so he pushes it firmly away.

He can hear their eavesdropper fucking sigh, soft and almost disappointed, and that should make Mondo even angrier, but something in Mondo is feeling so fucking weird now. G-god... he doesn’t even know how to begin to describe it, other than it feels like he’s on fire, but not even in a bad way. Ishimaru is staring at him, eyes wide, anger in them, but also something else, something Mondo can’t understand, no matter how much he fucking wants to.

He can’t let this end here. He wants to let it end, but he fucking can’t. He... h-he needs to figure out how to settle this, how to make this stop, how to not be as fucking pathetic as he knows he is. He... he needs to prove that he’s not as worthless as they both know he is, as weak, as nothing, so fucking nothing. Everyone knows it, knows he doesn’t belong here, knows that Ishimaru is so much better than him it’s not funny, but he- he needs to prove that he has something going for him, that he... he can do something, even if he’s worthless in every other regard, every other aspect, even if Ishimaru is better than him everywhere else he just needs to prove he can beat him at fucking something, god-

He’s issuing the challenge before he can stop himself.

And god, is he so fucking afraid.

“You think yer so perfect, don’t ya, Ishimaru? Think yer better than me? Well... well, yer not, an’ I can fuckin’ prove it. I bet I can beat you, hands down, any day of the fuckin’ week. Y’ain’t better than me, ya shit fuck. Y’ain’t nothin’,” Mondo hisses, lying through his fucking teeth. Ishimaru is better than him. He knows it. He’s always known it. He hates it, though. Not being good enough. Not being worthy. He... he wants to be. Good enough. For... f-for...

Ishimaru’s eyes are shiny again, even despite his glare.

Typical.

“What?! Y-you guys aren’t going to- to fight, are you? Guys-!”

Mondo breaks his stare down with Ishimaru to shoot that goddamn fucking bastard a single, solitary sneer, before turning back to Ishimaru, chest heaving with all the emotions he carries within him.

“Nah. Ground floor, there’s a sauna. Ya know it?”

Ishimaru blinks slowly, sluggish, before nodding slightly, looking very fucking confused. His eyebrows are furrowed, and his lips are pulled down, and he looks so fucking cute stupid, god. After a moment, though, it seems he understands what Mondo is getting at, the challenge he is suggesting, as his face lights up, eyes bright and passionate once more, an honest to god grin on his face.

Holy fucking shit...

“Aha! A simple endurance challenge! If that is your gauntlet, then I happily accept! I will wipe the floor with you!”

Despite the anger that is still flowing through him, Mondo can’t help the small smile that passes on his lips, something about the enthusiasm so fucking... not cute, not cute, not cute at all, but maybe, a little, teeny tiny bit... endearing? He pushes it away, though. It’s not helpful, here.

“Yer fuckin’ on. And you,” Mondo points blindly to Naegi— who ‘eeps’ at the gesture, fucking coward he is— not able to look away from Ishimaru for a single fucking second, “will be our witness. Got it?!”

As intently as Mondo is staring at Ishimaru, he doesn’t see the other kid’s response, but he can hear how Naegi splutters, the kid clearly not as enthusiastic about the idea as Ishimaru and himself are. Bastard.

“W-what?! Now?! B-but it’s so late... g-guys, are you sure this is a- a good idea-?!”

“Yes, ya fuckin’ moron, it’s a fuckin’ great idea!” Mondo snarls, at the exact same time Ishimaru— eyes bright and feverish— exclaims, “yes! It is an excellent idea!”

Uncomfortable at their agreement, Mondo finally tears his eyes away, ignoring the churning feeling in his chest as he storms down the hall to where the bathhouse is, mere meters away. Ishimaru stares after him for a stunned second, but quickly spurs himself into motion, using his long-ish legs to catch up quick, head held high as they march determinedly on. God... he’s so fucking...

Shit.

When they reach the bathhouse a few moments later, Mondo firmly pushes aside the rational voice inside him that is screaming at him not to do this. He knows his limits when it comes to endurance. While he’s not the best at running, he has great endurance for other things, especially pain and discomfort. (This sentence was removed due to ~~spoilers~~)

But Ishimaru... fuck. He’s so fucking passionate, so fucking determined, but who knows what his endurance is like? If he’ll be able to keep up? And it shouldn’t matter, shouldn’t give Mondo pause, but he... he can’t help the stab of concern that fills him as they enter the room, Mondo grabbing a ‘closed for repairs’ sign and putting it in front of the entrance, not wanting anyone to interrupt.

He hates the feeling and pushes it away as he turns to glare at Ishimaru, pointing a finger, not wanting to deal with such weakness, but he... he can’t quite manage to force it fully away...

Shit.

“Alright, here’s the fuckin’ terms. First ta tap out is a fuckin’ bitch ass loser who ain’t worth shit. The one who lasts the longest is the official winner. We ain’t allowed ta touch the other or do anythin’ ta them directly, this is strictly an endurance challenge. Oh, an’ we’re gonna do this fully clothed. What do ya say?!”

Mondo sees Ishimaru’s eyes widen when he gets to the last term, the kid fucking shaking his head sharply in denial. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. He’d added that last clause in last minute, realizing as he detailed the rules that they were gonna be fucking half fucking naked in there, and his mind had shorted the fuck out. He’s been in saunas fully clothed before, he knows he can handle it, but he isn’t fucking sure he can handle sitting nearly nude beside Ishi-fucking-maru...

But of course, the kid wouldn’t fucking agree. Of fucking course...

“I do not agree to that last term, but I agree to the rest!”

Glad his angry flush fully disguises the fucking embarrassed flush he can feel rising on his face, Mondo just nods tensely, sneering, as he storms over to the water cooler in the corner.

“Alright, whatever, fucker. Ya got five minutes ta prepare. Then, we’re fuckin’ doin’ this shit.”

With that, Mondo grabs a paper cup and downs some water, feeling so impossibly tense. He can feel Ishimaru staring at him, mouth partially open, but he gets spurned into action when Naegi shifts awkwardly beside him, chasing the kid away to one of the lockers, where he... he fucking...

Starts taking off his fucking clothes...

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Mondo is staring. Mondo knows he shouldn’t be staring, knows it’s wrong to be staring, but he can’t fucking help it. His eyes are like magnets, drawn to the kid, watching as he takes off all of his fucking layers, folding each one so neatly and carefully as he sticks them in the small fucking locker. The kid hesitates a little when he gets to his fucking tighty-whities (of course the kid wears that shit, of fucking course), but ultimately, he doesn’t take them off. Instead, he bites his lip and grabs a white towel, wrapping it firmly around his waist before putting the rest of his stuff away. Mondo firmly pushes down the stupid as shit rush of disappointment and tells himself to stop staring, to look away, but god, he fucking can’t. Ishimaru, he...

He’s so fucking gorgeous, so fucking hot, so fucking sexy-

Mondo feels himself heat the fuck up when Ishimaru turns abruptly and looks him straight in the eyes, looking fucking startled at something. Feeling strangely caught, Mondo looks away as quick as he can, pushing away the stupid as shit thoughts, marching over to a locker stiffly. Shit... he’s gotta fucking get laid one of these days. The tension is doing fucked up shit to his brain...

He takes his time putting some of his more fragile shit away, like his crappy cellphone and his key card. He does, honestly, consider taking off his uniform, or at least taking off his duster, but he just... shit. Can’t. Not with how strange he feels inside, his mind’s eye still stupidly forcing him to think of Ishimaru, his stupidly muscular back flexing with every move he made. It means nothing, fucking nothing, but he... shit. It prolly would be better to remain fully clothed, duster included, even if it does put him at a disadvantage. But ya know what, whatever. Doesn’t matter. He knows his limits and knows that he can last longer in the sauna than Ishimaru, even when fully clothed. Shit...

When the five minutes he gave them are up, he meets up with Ishimaru outside the entrance to the sauna, fully intending to slide it open and step inside, when-

“Owada-kun, you cannot seriously be considering entering the sauna fully clothed! It’s suicide!” Ishimaru exclaims, sounding fucking concerned as shit. His eyes are wide, and his brows are furrowed, and he’s biting his fucking lip, god fucking damn, and it’s messing with Mondo’s head so fucking much. Why... why the fuck would he care?! Huh?! They’re not fucking friends! Why would he care if Mondo did try and kill himself, huh?! World would fucking be better off for it, shit!

Deciding to definitely not say that, Mondo just sneers at the kid, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Just ‘cuz yer a fuckin’ pansy ass bitch don’t mean I am! Now, ya ready ta do this, or are ya a fuckin’ chicken?!”

His face flushed, Ishimaru doesn’t even bother to answer, instead just yanking open the door and entering the sauna with a stubborn tilt to his jaw.

Staring after the kid for a split second (pushing down the disappointment that he didn’t press the issue harder, proving to Mondo how fucking right he is), Mondo enters on Ishimaru’s heels, the heat not even bothering him one bit.

It’s nothing compared to the fire that constantly burns within him.

Sliding the door shut behind him, leaving Naegi outside to do whatever the fuck he wants while the contest takes place, Mondo marches over to where Ishimaru is sitting, taking a seat an arm’s length away. He can feel bright red eyes on him, but he determinedly pushes the feeling away, trading a few snide comments with the kid, not even feeling the heat really.

About ten minutes in, Mondo will admit the heat is getting to him a little, a thin sheen of sweat making its way onto his skin, which is more uncomfortable than anything. Ishimaru looks a little woozy, so Mondo taunts that the kid should just give up now. Ishimaru just laughs, saying how he never gives up, ever. Fucking pretentious bastard.

After half an hour, he can admit he is feeling kinda uncomfortable, the heat becoming somewhat unpleasant, but he’s still feeling pretty good, all things considered. Ishimaru looks flushed as all hell, though, his cheeks bright red and sweat clinging to his muscles. The kid tells him— unprompted— that he’s doing fine, and Mondo’s brain feels too stupid to allow him to do much else than glare, shit...

After around fifty minutes, the kid... he looks fucking awful. Mondo isn’t doing too hot, the uncomfortable feeling spreading to be extremely uncomfortable, but he knows he can handle it. The kid, though... he looks like he’s starting to lose it. Ishimaru mentions absently that he’s starting to feel cold, which honestly concerns Mondo, since he knows that shit is a bad sign, but his head is too stupid to remember why, so he just says it’s prolly not good. The kid doesn’t call it quits, though.

Instead, he actually... talks... huh.

“Y-you can take off your uniform... if you w-want... I- I won’t judge...” the boy mumbles, sounding super fucking exhausted. Mondo tries to snort, but it’s a lot harder than it should be, shit.

“N-nah... I’m... I’m... I’m good,” Mondo finds himself muttering back, looking at the kid intensely, wondering why he isn’t giving up when he so clearly feels sick. Mondo finds himself muttering about how red Ishimaru’s is, likening him to a hot spring monkey, of all things. The kid mumbles back about being born with a red face, which makes no fucking sense, but ya know what? He’s too tired to waste energy on this shit. He’s got a challenge to win.

After what he figures is an hour and five minutes, the warning bell rings, telling them they have five minutes until curfew. Mondo figures the hall monitor will end this now, since he wouldn’t dare stay out past curfew and risk breaking one of his ‘precious rules,’ but the kid doesn’t seem to even notice the bell had rung. S-shit... that... that’s not good, is it...?

Mondo gets distracted from his stupid as shit concern when a new voice pipes up, shocking Mondo. Huh... he hadn’t realized the kid was still out there. Shit.

“U-uh guys? It’s almost curfew, shouldn’t you... stop? I know you both want to prove how big of badasses you are but... don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

Mondo scowls at the meaning of the words, knowing that he sure as shit ain’t gonna back down first. He’s already so worthless. He’s gotta prove that he can at least do this, of all fucking things.

“Shut up!” he barks, at the same time Ishimaru does, making him feel fucking wigged out at how they’re both on the same page again.

Naegi replies back to them, saying something about it being nighttime, and a tie... it honestly offends Mondo, but before he can reply, the kid is... talking... saying something about how in a true competition, there are no ties. That you either win or you lose, and that... that’s the only thing that matters. It honestly kinda pisses Mondo off, even if he agrees fully, so he fires back how he will push the kid right up to the gates of hell, meaning it fully.

He tells Naegi to leave then, knowing that this might drag on a lot longer than he had anticipated. Shit. He knew Ishimaru was fucking stubborn as shit, willing to do absolutely anything to reach his goals, but this... this is just madness. Utter madness. As Naegi leaves, Mondo cannot help how he stares at the hall monitor, who looks so fucking sick right now. He does his best to ignore it, to wait the kid out, but when roughly fifteen more minutes pass and the kid isn’t tapping out, despite looking half dead, he... he can’t help the worry that he feels. And then, when the kid closes his eyes, barely breathing, Mondo... s-shit...

“Hey... man... are you... are you okay...? Ya don’t... don’t look so good...”

Mondo listens, getting really kinda freaked, when Ishimaru lets out a soft puff of air, almost like he’s trying to laugh but can’t find the energy. He lolls his head over to Mondo, the first movement he’s done in minutes, but his eyes are still closed, which looks so fucking freaky. It takes him far longer than it should to open his eyes, and when he does, they... shit. They look glazed, like the kid isn’t fucking in there, like he... he’s...

Already dead...

F-fuck...

It really does look like that, though. Eyes glazed, mouth partially open, chest so scarily still... o-oh, shit. Shit, what if he... what if he is dead...?! Y-yeah, he just moved, but he- he looks so still, it... Mondo...

But then the kid is speaking, and he sounds so very out of it, but at least he’s alive, thank god...

“I- I’m... I’m fine, I...”

Oh, shit... no, he... he’s not fine, is he...? Shit... s-shit...

“Shit... man... no, y’ain’t. I know my... my limits. I’ve got some time... left in me... but you... shit. Just give up, dude. Just... just give... up...”

It makes something in Mondo clench when he sees the kid’s face screw up, like he wants to cry but just has no tears left within him. And then he... he’s speaking...

“No... n-no, I can’t... I- I can’t... give up... I have to... have to...”

The kid stops, then, and Mondo feels so fucking confused, his head all stupid because of the heat, making it hard to think. What? He has to... what?

“Hafta... what? What... is so important... ta ya?”

The kid blinks, like he hadn’t expected to be spoken to, before opening his mouth and muttering words. It... it’s like the kid doesn’t even know he’s speaking, the words sounding so fucking slurred and soft. Mondo has to strain to hear them, even though the silence is oppressive between them.

“I can’t... give up... must... restore... honor... family... f-family name...”

Mondo furrows his eyebrows, his lips turned down in a frown, not... not understanding...

“Yer family... name? What… what about it?”

Ishimaru blinks, like he can barely understand what Mondo is saying, and fuck is that scary...

“I must... fix his mistakes. I must... I must bring honor t-to... to our name... my grandfather...”

Okay, that... that doesn’t make any fucking sense... his grandfather? The fuck? Shit... Ishimaru needs to stop this, he... he’s not making any sense...

“What? The fuck... the fuck ya talkin’ ‘bout, man? Shit... Ishimaru, yer ‘bout ta... ta fuckin’ pass out... why can’t ya just... just give up, man?”

Ishimaru isn’t looking at him anymore and is instead staring blankly at the steam that is billowing around them, looking like he’s not aware where the fuck he is. It makes Mondo’s stomach clench, the concern rising. He... he doesn’t wanna give up, needs to prove himself, but he... Ishimaru... f-fuck...

And then... Ishimaru starts talking again...

“It... it’s all up to me to fix it... t-to make it better... m-make it- it right-! I... I can’t... give up, I... I’m not... not allowed to... give up... giving up is- is wrong... and immoral, and- and I am not wrong! I... I’m not- not immoral... I... I’m better... better than my grandfather... better than myself... better... than...”

Okay. Okay. Okay, it’s official. Mondo is fucking freaked the fuck out. What... what does any of that even mean? He... Ishimaru...

“Fuck, dude, yer- yer scarin’ me... what the hell does… does any a’ that even… even mean? Yer the fuckin’... Ultimate Moral Compass... ‘course yer not- not... immoral...”

Ishimaru is shaking now, eyes still glazed, staring at the steam as if it holds the answer to life itself. And fuck... it’s so fucking creepy...

“But I am, I am... I’m worthless, I’m nothing... my grandfather... he’d done so many terrible things, had hurt s-so many people... he’d ruined... ruined Japan... e-everyone hated him... hated me... I have to do better... to be better... to fix... my grandfather’s... mistakes...”

His grandfather? Who the fuck is his grandfather? And why... why does he even matter? Even if he was so fucking terrible, Ishimaru... he ain’t... he...

“Dude... y’ain’t... ain’t yer grandfather... yer yer own person... an’ frankly... I kinda... kinda like... s-shit. Just... stop this, man. Just admit it. Admit it’s... too much...”

The kid shakes his head, and Mondo doesn’t know how he’s able to even hear him, as far fucking gone as he looks, but fuck, he’s clearly responding, ain’t he...?

“Nnnn- n-no! I- I... I can’t... can’t admit... weakness... god I’m so... so weak... pathetic... the children, they’re right about me, they’re all so... so right... I’ll never... amount to- to anything... I’m worthless... pathetic... scum...”

H-holy shit... Ishimaru he... he can’t fucking believe that... can he? No... n-no, he... he ain’t none of that shit, Mondo is, Mondo is, but not- not Ishimaru! He... he’s fucking... he...

“Ishimaru... Ishimaru, stop... s-stop! Y’ain’t... none a’ that is... is true... yer the best... goddamn person I ever... ever met, ya... ya never gave up on me... no matter how horrible I treated ya... ya just... wouldn’t leave... I tried ta make ya leave, why... why wouldn’t ya leave...”

He hadn’t meant to ask the question, voice so fucking soft, but he couldn’t help it. It’s been plaguing him for weeks now, wondering why... why Ishimaru bothered staying... why he didn’t just leave his ass... why he didn’t just... give up on him... like everyone always does...

“Me... leave? Why? Where would I... go...? I’ve n-never... had a friend... if this is... is friendship... then what else can I... do? I don’t... w-wanna... be...... alone.........”

Oh... oh, shit... suddenly, so many things make so much fucking sense. Why the kid always seems so fucking nervous and awkward around people, though he tries his damndest to hide it. Why he is always alone, never seen really talking to anyone, not without a reason. Why he always... always does his best to extend olive branches to people, offering to tutor or help or do whatever is needed to... to get them to talk to him... g-god... he never would have thought the kid would have no friends, even though it’s so fucking obvious when Mondo thinks about it. He’s just... he’s just so fucking bright and full of sunshine... Mondo can’t imagine people seeing that and not... not wanting to...

It’s right then, in that moment, brain stupid from heat, halfway gone but not fully gone yet, that Mondo... Mondo makes a decision.

If they survive this stupid fucking challenge... he... he will be Ishimaru— no, Kiyotaka, his name is- is Kiyotaka... he will be Kiyotaka’s friend... and he will be a fucking good one, the friend that the kid... that he fucking deserves...

If the kid even wants to be friends with him...

“Fuckin’... shit, man. Yer not... alone... I’m here. Ishimaru... Kiyotaka... I’m right... right here...”

The kid shakes his head, breath still shallow, but now it’s wavering, shaking... trembling... g-god... fuck...

“No... no... I’m alone, I’m alone. Everyone... always leaves... my mother... my grandfather... even my father would leave... if he could... he’s never... never understood me. No one... understands me... I don’t... even... understand...... myself..........”

Oh. Oh. Oh. This... this poor fucking boy... he... s-shit. Shit... this... they gotta fucking stop this... they...

“I... I understand ya. Yer... yer like me... ain’t ya? Shit. We gotta... gotta stop this, man... what are ya... tryin’... ta prove?”

Kiyotaka is shaking again, looking like he wants to cry but just... can’t. God... god... fucking... god.

“Everything. Everything. Every… everything… I have to prove them... wrong. I have to prove... that I can do this. If I... if I give up... i-if I let myself give up... then I fail. I fail, I fail, I fail, I fail, I fail. I c-can’t... fail, I can’t... g-give up... or else... what is... the point... of me...?”

Point? The point? Why... why does he have to have a point? Shit... he’s so fucking amazing, he... he doesn’t have to have a point... no more than just... just being...

“Ain’t gotta... have a point man... ya can just... be. Be... Kiyotaka. What’s so wrong... with that?”

The blank look on the kid’s face grows, his voice soft, weak. Trembling, like he doesn’t mean to say it, like he doesn’t even know what he’s saying. Mondo has never heard someone sound so... so... dead before... h-holy shit...

“Everything. Everything. Everything. E-everything... is wrong with... me... I- I’m too... too much. T-too passionate... too vibrant... I- I hurt... hurt my own eyes... I hate... l-looking at myself... hate... b-being myself... if I could... be someone else... I- I would... gladly...”

No. No. No, fucking... no! Ish- Kiyo... Kiyotaka can’t fucking believe that... yeah, he’s so fucking passionate, so fucking bright, but that... that’s not a bad thing... he... he’s so fucking good... so fucking... amazing... and he... Mondo wouldn’t...

“I wouldn’t. Want that. Yer... fuck. Yer somethin’... somethin’ special... I thought I... I hated that ‘bout you, but... man you... you shine... I don’t deserve... someone as... as wonderful... as you...”

Kiyotaka is shaking his head again, barely breathing, looking so dead, so very, very... dead...

Oh, god...

“I- I’m not... wonderful. I’m not... anything. T-the children... they hated me... t-they all... hated me. My f-father... hates me. My mother... if she could s-see me... now... s-she’d hate me... too. Why... w-why do I bother... trying...? W-why... why don’t I just... g-give up...”

N-no... no, no, god, please... no... Mondo feels pressure behind his eyes, and he doesn’t think he has ever felt such pain. Because that... that sounds so goddamn familiar... he always has seen Kiyotaka as so different to him, so much better, so much brighter. But if the kid is to be believed... he... he thinks of himself like... like Mondo thinks of himself, and he... he can’t... can’t fucking stand that thought, oh god...

“Kiyo... Kiyota- Taka. Kiyo... Taka. Just... ya don’t hafta... give up... but yer... yer gonna kill yerself if ya... keep this up... s-shit...”

Mondo feels himself go cold when Kiyotaka responds, sounding half dead, looking so... so nothing...

“Kill... myself? No... I’m not- not that weak... not anymore... not... n-not again... but maybe... maybe... m-maybe it would be better. If I weren’t... weren’t...” a pause. “Alive...”

What?! No... no, no.... nonononononononononono-!!! He... he can’t... he can’t-

“What?! Dude... no... god... fuckin’... dammit! Ya can’t be... serious... Kiyo... Taka, ya can’t...”

“I am. I am. I- I am. If I wasn’t... so weak. If I wasn’t... s-so afraid. I know... k-know how to fix it... a-all of it. How to... t-to make it better. My father... would be happier. The children... w-would be happier. And I... I... I’d be... I’d be...”

A pause. Inhalation of breath. And then... softly, so fucking softly...

“Dead...”

No. No. No, fucking-! No. This... this is so fucking stupid, why is Mondo doing this, he... he has to stop this. This kid ain’t gonna stop, he can’t fucking stop, he won’t stop until he is fucking dead, and Mondo... Mondo can’t... he fucking can’t-

He can’t lose someone else... not during another fucking challenge that he fucking issued... he just... can’t.

“Okay. That’s it. This ain’t... fuckin’ worth it. If y’ain’t... gonna quit... then I! I fuckin’... I fuckin’ will. Ya... ya win... Kiyo... Taka... ya... ya win. Now, c’mon, man. Let’s… let’s get outta here.”

With all the strength he has left, Mondo stands and hobbles over to where Kiyotaka is sitting, looking like a puppet with its strings cut. He’s not moving, barely breathing, and his eyes are so glazed over Mondo doesn’t think he can even see right now. Mondo has never seen someone look so still before, and it scares the ever-loving shit out of him. Especially now that he... he knows that... that the kid has tried... or at least wanted...

Fuck.

But he doesn’t have time to hate himself for issuing this stupid ass challenge. He doesn’t have time to waste. Gathering all his strength, he bends down, and he wraps an arm around Kiyotaka, heart stopping when he feels how boneless he is, not moving at all. But then, as he starts moving towards the door, he feels the kid start to struggle. It’s weak and doesn’t sway Mondo even a second, but fuck does it relieve him. The kid is even able to walk a little, barely. It... it’s good.

The second he manages to get the door open, however, the cool air almost torture on his overheated skin, he feels Kiyotaka gasp, all the fragile strength he had gone as his knees buckle, making him deadweight. But Mondo hasn’t spent the majority of his life lifting weights for nothing, so he just adjusts his grip, taking on more of the kid’s weight. He doesn’t lift him, doesn’t have time for that, but he drags him bodily over to the bench, accidentally throwing him on it since he’s not really at a hundred percent himself. He sees the kid start to topple, then, and he immediately moves forward to steady the kid, the skin under his hands far, far too warm. Oh... shit, that’s not... not good, oh fuck...

“Goddamn shit. Ya look... fuck man. Why didn’t ya just... dammit. Ya need water... I’ll be right back.”

Mondo stand abruptly then, feeling clumsy and wrong. His chest feels so fucking painful, like it’s being sat on by an elephant, and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt more concerned for anyone. Well... other than one person... but shit, he can’t think of him, not now. Not now. Not when Kiyotaka needs him. He takes off his duster as he strides forward, tossing it carelessly on a bench, too fucking hot to deal with that shit. He needs to go quick, needs to... to get back to Kiyotaka... and he needs to drink some water himself, fuck, he’s so fucking dehydrated... fuck.

However... once he’s at the water cooler, filling up one of the paper cups for himself to drink, he hears the kid muttering again, the words making no goddamn sense, but damn if it doesn’t make his heart clench...

“...they won’t, they won’t, they won’t... I’m alone, again... all alone... everyone has left... everyone leaves me in the end... why would I expect anything different... why would I expect-“

Shit. Shit. Shit. Mondo quickly finishes filling the cup and downs it, filling the second one as quickly as possible while the kid rambles on about being alone again. As soon as the cup is full Mondo practically teleports back to the kid’s side, an odd sense in him that he never, ever wants to be anywhere else...

“Shit, Kiyotaka, I’m here. I just... had ta drink myself, shit. Now c’mon. Drink this. Please, man. Fer me. I can’t... ya can’t fuckin’ die on me, man... f-fuck...”

He carefully places his hand on the back of Kiyotaka’s neck, lifting it gently up, so he can get the kid to drink some water. He knows that the boy is prolly dehydrated as fuck, and he seriously hopes that’s the only thing wrong with him, because if it isn’t... s-shit. He can feel Kiyotaka struggle as he moves him, his lips moving, muttering those fucking words again...

“W-why am I so weak, I need to... to be stronger... to be... better...”

God, is everything this kid says gonna make his heart break? God... he’s not equipped for this, he doesn’t know how to be kind, to be gentle, but after all the shit he has done, all the pain and misery he has needlessly made this wondrous, incredible, sad fucking boy go through... he owes it to him to not only try, but to succeed.

Even if it fucking kills him...

“Shh... hey, it’s okay. Y’ain’t fuckin’ weak, man, yer goddamn incredible. Now c’mon. Stop fightin’ me. Let me take care a’ you. You... you’ve been so strong fer so long. Let me... let me help you...”

With that, he slowly presses the cup against the kid’s lips, and he feels as he struggles, whimpering softly, scared. Shit, he... he prolly has no idea what the fuck is going on, is so fucking disoriented...

He begins whispering to the kid then, not knowing what to say, but just... knowing he has to say something, something soothing. He hums softly as he decides to just... let the soft words that he’s been gathering for weeks now out of his heart, telling Kiyotaka that he is there, that he will always be there, promising that he’s not alone, that he’ll never be alone again, that Mondo will take care of him, he promises... he promises...

And then he... he says...

“Open up, Kiyotaka, shit. P-please... I’m beggin’ ya man... just... drink some water...”

The kid... Kiyotaka stops struggling then, and finally, finally opens his lips. It’s just a little, a small amount, but it’s enough for a small trickle of water to get passed his dry and cracked lips, which is so fucking relieving. But then... then the kid startles again, a soft sound of distress getting released as he panics, taking too much water too quick. Oh, shit...

So fucking scared, not knowing what to do but knowing he has to do something, Mondo lowers the hand holding the cup but doesn’t put it down, moving his other hand to rub soothing circles on the kid’s back, shushing him softly.

“Aw, shit. Slowly, man, slowly. That’s it, nice an’ easy... I’m gonna try that again, okay? Go slow this time. Idiot.”

With that, Mondo moves his hand back to Kiyotaka’s neck and brings the cup back up to his lips, praying that he will drink this time. He’s so fucking dehydrated and if he won’t drink, Mondo is gonna have to call an ambulance or some shit, because he needs liquid, and fast.

Luckily, this time when he asks the kid to open up, he does so immediately. And then, when he tips a little of the liquid into his mouth, the kid doesn’t panic and just... sips it. Slowly. Mondo can see his throat working, moving slowly, swallowing the water, and fuck... he’s never felt so relieved in his life, watching the kid drink some fucking water, god...

However, then the kid is letting out a sound of desperation, seeming to realize that he is so fucking thirsty or something. He sees the kid’s hands try to come up, wavering so fucking much as they try and force the water down faster, but Mondo stops him, knowing he needs to go slow.

“Aw, shit man, stop! Ya gotta go slow. Yer dehydrated, ya can’t drink it too fast... trust me, man. I got you. I won’t let you down. Not again. I… I promise.”

And he means it. He fucking means it. He has failed this kid so many fucking times, but he won’t this time, and he never will again. Because now he... he knows that this kid fucking matters. He’s always known that, from the minute the kid had run into him and knocked his world on its side, but- but he... he’s always been so afraid of it. Of the feeling. Of what it means.

But he’s not afraid of it. Not now. Not... not anymore. He doesn’t know why he feels this way, why this boy matters so fucking much to him, but it just doesn’t matter now, and he refuses to let his goddamn fucking nonsense ruin this shit anymore. This kid has faced some truly horrible fucking things, things that Mondo has barely scratched the surface of but can tell have damaged the kid so fucking much. He has scars all over his chest and back, which Mondo has noticed before, of course he’s noticed them, but now he’s really starting to realize what exactly they mean, and it just... it’s fucking him up inside, and all he wants is to bundle this kid up and never let him get hurt again, keep him safe from all harm, and Mondo has always felt like that, always wanted that, but now, for once...

He’s not afraid of it.

And he won’t back down.

Not unless Kiyotaka wants him to...

(But even then. Even then, Mondo will do everything he can to keep him safe. He won’t stalk the kid, but he will make sure that no one dares to lay a finger on him. He’s firmly under Mondo’s protection now. Nothing will change that. Absolutely nothing.)

Knowing that Kiyotaka needs to drink more, so he’s not so weak (physically. He’s so fucking strong emotionally, so fucking strong) anymore, he presses the cup back to the boy’s lips, his heart lurching softly when the kid immediately opens up and drinks, slowly, not even needing Mondo to remind him to go slow and steady. Mondo is so fucking proud of the kid, like a fucking mother hen, but he doesn’t care. This kid deserves all the softness in the world. If there’s one thing Mondo is sure of, it’s that.

It doesn’t take long for the cup to run empty, but the kid needs more, so Mondo gets up to refill the cup. But then he’s fucking crying, sad and pitiful, and Mondo immediately returns, holding him close, saying to him, “aw, shit, I’m just getting more water, alright? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

And when Mondo is forced to leave again— though god does he not want to— he keeps talking. Promising that he’ll be right back, that he’s not leaving, that he will never leave again... promises that he will never break, and not just because he doesn’t break promises, but because he fucking means the shit out of them. More than any promise he’s ever made before.

He’s back soon after, bringing two cups with him this time, helping Kiyotaka drink, and drink, and drink. Mondo doesn’t know much about severe dehydration, just knows that it’s important for the person to be given fluids, preferably sports drinks, but since he doesn’t have that shit, water will have to do. If Kiyotaka doesn’t get better after the third cup, Mondo’s gonna try and see if he can take him to the nurse if the lady is still there. If not... shit. He’ll prolly have to call an ambulance, since he doesn’t think Kiyotaka could handle riding on his hog to the hospital, which is at least a ten-minute ride away. He’s hoping he won’t have to do that, though. Hopes that drinking the water will be enough to help him. He also hopes that it’s just dehydration that’s the problem... fuck.

The good thing is that Kiyotaka is drinking willingly. And the more he drinks, the more lucid he appears. He still seems very out of it, but about halfway through the third cup, he starts blinking rapidly, like waking himself from a dream. His eyebrows furrow, and he starts looking around a bit. He takes in the bathhouse and even looks down at his chest, like he’s just then noticing that he’s half naked. Mondo allows him to do this, but always makes sure the kid is still drinking, wanting to make sure he gets at least three cups in, since he had to have lost a lot of water while sweating. Mondo himself isn’t feeling too hot and knows he needs to drink more, too, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t ensure that Kiyotaka is okay before doing anything else for himself.

Mondo knows the exact second that things slot into place for the kid, since one second he’s loose and pliant in his arms, allowing him to hold his neck and give him the water, and the next he’s sitting ramrod straight, eyes wide. It startles Mondo a bit and he straightens up from the hunch he’d found himself in, so fucking relieved to see some lucidity in those bright red eyes. Fuck, but was that glazed look terrifying...

“Oh, shit. Are ya back? Ya really fuckin’ scared me there, dude, the fuck...? I was ‘bout ta take yer ass ta the nurse, consequences be damned. Shit, should I still do that...? Kiyotaka?”

The kid is just staring at him, his skin far too pale, his eyes moving back and forth over Mondo’s face as he seems to try to be figuring something out. They then widen somehow further and then-

“Aw, shit! Fuck, man, what the hell!”

Mondo stares wide eyed at the kid as he abruptly stands, his body shaking horribly, looking like he just saw a ghost, shit... Mondo is afraid the kid is about to collapse so he stands quickly, hands hovering to ensure he doesn’t fall, but the kid doesn’t seem to notice him. Oh... shit... he’s not better, is he? God fucking dammit...

“W-w-w-what... w-what... h-h-happened?! I... I didn’t... oh god...”

Mondo sees Kiyotaka sway then, looking like he’s about to faint, scaring the absolute shit out of Mondo. Rushing forward, he grabs the kid by his shoulders, holding him upright. Part of him wants to pull him close, to wrap him up and never let him go, but he can tell the kid is super fucking freaked out, and he doesn’t want to make him panic, shit.

“What the fuck... aw, shit, y’ain’t better. Okay, that’s it. I’m takin’ ya ta the fuckin’ nurse. Goddamnit...”

Mondo tries to move Kiyotaka, then, carefully guiding him over to the door so they can make the stupidly long walk to the nurse’s office, mind racing a mile a minute as he tries to determine if it wouldn’t just be better to call the ambulance now. On one hand, he doubts the nurse is still there, since it’s well after curfew, but on the other... calling for an ambulance means he might have to explain this shit, and he just... shit. But he needs to do right by Kiyotaka, and if that includes getting himself in trouble, he’ll fucking do it. He doesn’t care what happens to him, just as long as this wonderful, incredible boy is safe. Huh...

As distracted as Mondo is, he doesn’t expect any resistance to his movement, expecting Kiyotaka to be as pliant as he previously had been. As such, when the kid fucking pulls away from him, weak as it is, Mondo isn’t expecting it and thus is unable to keep his grip. And he watches, heart stopping, as the kid slams into the row of lockers, collapsing immediately to the ground with a soft noise of pain.

Shit!!!

“Shit! Kiyotaka, are you fuckin’ alright?! What the hell, man?! Stop bein’ an idiot and let me take ya ta the nurse, fuck!”

He doesn’t mean to sound angry or anything, he’s just so fucking scared, needing the kid to cooperate so he can just get better already and not make Mondo worry he’s gonna fucking die or something... but given the way that Kiyotaka glares at him (or tries to glare, Mondo can tell he’s still a little out of it and can’t quite put the usual amount of passion into it), he can tell the kid intends to be difficult, looking at him like he doesn’t want Mondo to come any closer or something. Mondo immediately says, ‘fuck that,’ though, and rushes to the kid’s side, kneeling down, his eyes bleeding with his concern. He watches the kid blink, some more lucidity rising within the red, as he opens his mouth to speak.

“W-wait! I don’t... dang it. I don’t need to go to the- t-the nurse! I’m just... confused. Give me... give me a moment to... collect myself!” Kiyotaka says, his chest heaving with the effort of speaking. Mondo looks at him firmly, ensuring the kid means it and that he’s not just saying random, nonsense bullshit again.

Once he’s satisfied that the kid is, in fact, lucid enough to make that decision, he nods stiffly, still feeling so very, very concerned.

“Alright... shit, fine. If ya say so. But ya gotta drink some more water, alright?! Slowly. I should drink more too, fuck...”

Mondo stands, then, and walks over to the water cooler again, hands tingling unpleasantly as he leaves Kiyotaka’s side. He quickly fills up two fresh cups of water and hurries back, handing the kid one of the cups as soon as he is by his side.

As soon as the kid takes it, Mondo flops down to sit beside him, so close they touch, and begins to drink his water, finding comfort in being able to feel the kid warm against his side. He is honestly thirsty as fuck, wanting to gulp it down again, but he forces himself to go slow, not wanting to be a hypocrite. He notices after a second that Kiyotaka isn’t drinking and is just staring at him blankly, eyes glazing over again, which scares him more than he is willing to say, fuck.

“Dude. Drink. Or I’m draggin’ ya ta the nurse, kickin’ an’ screamin’. Don’t think I won’t,” Mondo rumbles, startling the kid out of whatever fugue he’d entered into. The kid glares at him lightly, not nearly as strong as Mondo knows it could be, but at least he doesn’t try and counter him. He just brings the cup to his lips and drinks the cool water slowly, his eyes darting back and forth as he thinks hard about something. They don’t glaze over again, though, so Mondo lets him be and just drinks his water, every cell in his body so fucking aware of the kid sitting directly beside him. It honestly would scare him, how much he cares about this kid, if he’d not already decided to not care about that shit anymore. He cares about the kid. He doesn’t know why, he just does. End of fucking story.

Mondo doesn’t know how long they sit there drinking their water, and he doesn’t really care. He usually hates sitting still for so long, his skin crawling to get up and do something already, but strangely... he doesn’t really mind it too much. Sitting here, beside Kiyotaka. It... despite the worry he still feels, there’s also a strange calmness inside him now. Like... like something inside him that had been out of place and broken for years is just... gone, allowing him to breathe easy for the first time. It’s so strange but also... so very, very nice...

Eventually their cups run empty, and Mondo is about to offer to get them both some more water again when the kid speaks. His voice is low and shaky, but it sounds a lot better and more lucid than it had before, which relieves the shit out of him. But then he comprehends the words, and he...

“O-Owada... back in... in the, uh, sauna... I didn’t, um. Say anything strange. Did I?” Kiyotaka asks softly, looking very nervous. It concerns Mondo a lot that the kid apparently doesn’t remember what happened in the sauna, but he supposes it makes sense. He had been super fucking outta it...

He still takes his time to think about it. He usually just blurts out his words, no thought put into them at all, but this... shit. This matters. And he has to be so fucking careful if he doesn’t want to hurt the kid again. And god, does he not wanna do that...

Finally, he figures he’ll go the safe route and figure out what, exactly, the kid does and doesn’t remember. If he remembers nothing, then maybe... maybe it would be better to keep it that way, shit...

Ignoring the way his heart clenches at the thought, he sets his face into a carefully neutral expression, revealing nothing as he speaks, voice a low rumble.

“That depends. What do ya remember?”

Mondo watches, heart clenched strangely again, as Kiyotaka bites his lip gently, eyes unfocused as he thinks. They’re not glazed, though, so Mondo thinks he’s just concentrating, not zoning out. After a few moments, the kid glances up at him, expression open and searching. It makes Mondo want to gasp, everything in him swirling, and when the kid speaks, still looking at him, he... h-he...

“I’m… I’m not sure. It’s all... fuzzy. I can’t quite tell... what is real or not. I have no idea what I said during that last part, though... just fragments of old memories and thoughts.” Kiyotaka pauses, his hands shaking lightly. He looks away then, down at the ground, and Mondo feels so strangely bereaved... “But I... I remember you... you said... things. About- a-about me. Y-you... you called me... wonderful. Special. H-heh! H-how r-ridiculous! I must... must have been- been hallucinating! Aha!”

The kid sounds nervous, frantic, like he’s afraid Mondo will hurt him, like he’s afraid Mondo will laugh at him, will tell him that he... he’s wrong, that Mondo hadn’t said that, that he... he doesn’t believe that...

Which is bullshit. Because he did say that. And he’d meant it. Means it. Fully and completely.

Mondo consciously forces his shoulders to lose the tension that had entered them unbidden at Kiyotaka’s frantic words, sighing softly, a wry smile rising on his lips as he looks at the kid. The kid looks so fucking scared, so desperate, like he doesn’t believe that Mondo had said that shit, but that he wants to believe it.

And, shit... even if he hadn’t said it, he sure as shit would say it now. Because Kiyotaka truly is wonderful and special, ain’t he...?

Heh...

“Nah. That, uh. That happened. You really don’t remember what you said?” he asks as casually as he can, his head tilted in question, hoping he’s hiding the way his heart is racing well enough, but honestly not really caring if he’s not. He... he doesn’t want to keep shit from this kid. Not... not anymore... he watches as Kiyotaka shakes his head weakly, moving his eyes to stare at his hands again. It makes Mondo’s smile widen, eyes soft as silk. Heh. So... so fucking cute...

“Heh. Makes sense. Ya weren’t exactly all there, ya know. Kept mumblin’ bits a’ nonsense. Could barely make sense a’ ya myself, tell the truth. Somethin’... somethin’ ‘bout yer grandfather. ‘Bout needin’ ta right his wrongs. An’ then there was somethin’ ‘bout other kids? An’ hatred? Ya mentioned how yer da don’t understand ya, how he hates ya, or somethin’. An’ ‘bout how... how ya... ya hate yerself. Which I think is fuckin’ bullshit, ya shouldn’t fuckin’ hate yerself, yer incredible, but whatever. There was a lot a’ other stuff too. ‘Bout not givin’ up, ‘bout havin’ ta prove people wrong. Some other shit, too, but I don’t really ‘member it all, sorry. But... shit man. Is that... is that real? Did ya... did ya really mean alla’ that?”

Mondo doesn’t really mean to ask the question, knowing the kid needs to be allowed to rest and relax, not be asked stupid fucking questions, but he can’t help it. He’s not lying when he says he doesn’t quite remember everything. It’s all starting to blur in his head, and while he’s fairly certain he remembers the most of it, some details are starting to slip away, and he just... did the kid really say all that shit, or had he imagined it, too? Shit...

But then... then, after a moment, Kiyotaka, he... h-he...

“Aw, shit,” he mutters under his breath, which seems to just make the kid cry harder. It breaks Mondo’s heart so much, hating seeing his tears. God... this kid just always fucking cries around him, doesn’t he...? Shit... shit! H-he didn’t want to make the kid cry! G-god, he... he wants so badly to hold the kid, to keep him safe from the sorrow within him, but would the kid even want that? After everything he’s done, all he’s taken from him, would he actually want to be held in his arms? It’s his fault he’s crying, his fault he’s in this situation, and he doesn’t know if Kiyotaka would want to be anywhere near him, let alone in his arms! But he... he wants so, so badly to... t-to...

“Please, man, don’t cry, shit, I’m sorry! I... aw, fuck it. Come here.”

Mind made up, Mondo darts forward and— carefully as he possibly can— wraps an arm around the kid, pulling him gently to his chest, firm and tight. He can feel the kid struggle against him, and it kills him inside to feel it, especially when the kid starts frantically apologizing, like he thinks Mondo is going to hurt him or something. He thinks it might be best to let him go, to apologize and never touch him again, but he... h-he thinks the problem isn’t that Mondo is hugging him, but that the kid thinks Mondo is upset. So maybe... if he can reassure the kid that it’s okay, that he wants this, maybe... m-maybe he’ll stop struggling so hard... and maybe... m-maybe...

“Shhh. Shh, c’mon. It’s okay, Kiyotaka. I’m here. Y’ain’t alone. I got you. Ain’t got nothin’ ta ‘pologize fer, ya got it? Yer okay. We’re both okay.”

He keeps his arms steady on Kiyotaka, praying to any god that will listen that he’s doing the right thing, that he’s not hurting the kid more, that this is okay, and then... after a minute... after a minute...

The kid stops. Stops struggling, stops apologizing. His chest is heaving, and his eyes are still leaking tears, but he doesn’t seem distressed at Mondo holding him anymore. At least... Mondo hopes he isn’t. And then... t-then...

Kiyotaka buries his head in his chest, firm and present, hiding his face. His arms come up too, fists curling into Mondo’s tank top, clutching it like his life depends on it. And then he... he just...

Lets go.

The kid is crying so fucking hard, chest heaving, sobs loud and noisy, and fuck, does it hurt. Mondo feels so fucking helpless as he holds the kid, doing all he can to rub soothing circles on his back, whisper soft words in his ear, doing all he can to remember the shit Daiya would say when he was little and he still allowed himself to cry, not yet realizing it was wrong of him to do such a thing. He feels like it’s not enough, never enough, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s never seen the kid cry so hard before. Before he- he would always stifle it, keep it in.

Mondo hadn’t realized it at the time, but seeing the kid truly let go now, he can see just how hard he would fight to keep his tears and true sorrow contained, and he feels so much for the boy that he can’t even begin to describe it. It’s like... a sad kind of pride. Like he’s proud the kid was able to keep going despite the sorrow and despair he clearly feels, but also so, so fucking sad that the kid had to do it. That he had to keep this all in, unable to have anyone to share his burden with, to shoulder the pain and anguish he so clearly feels inside. Mondo... M-Mondo knows what that is like, what it’s like to have to always keep everything in, never let it out, and he... he hates that Kiyotaka knows it, too. The pain. The loneliness.

Maybe they really aren’t so different... are they?

Fuck... and who knows? Maybe that’s why he’s always cared so much about this kid. He... he just reminds him of him so goddamn much. Of... of the kid he used to be, before he built up walls so high around that child that he’d never see the light of day again. Of the scared little boy that he was, wondering why his parents hated him, why he was never good enough, why he didn’t fucking matter. He’d always been so scared and sad back then, so small and weak. Kinda like Kiyotaka is now, even with how fucking strong he knows this kid to usually be.

But...

But he had Daiya, didn’t he? Even when the whole world was against him, (This sentence was removed due to ~~spoilers~~) he... he always had Daiya. Daiya, who loved him. Daiya, who cared for him. Daiya who raised him, Daiya who taught him, Daiya who sacrificed fucking everything for him. (This sentence was removed due to ~~spoilers~~). It didn’t matter that he was scared, or that he was weak. Daiya loved him regardless, and he always, always kept him safe.

Kiyotaka... Kiyotaka never had that... did he? He can’t say for sure, but the kid has never mentioned a sibling, either older or younger, which makes him think he’s an only, no sibs, bro or sis. Which means that he... he didn’t have anyone always on his side. Someone who would protect him no matter what. Or someone that he could protect, no matter what. His da is clearly not that great, if Kiyotaka’s words about him hating him were to go by, and his ma is gone, who knows for how long, or what his relationship was to her when she was around. He... he didn’t have someone to protect him... to keep him safe, from all harm... to... t-to love him...

Eventually the kid stops crying so hard, the desperate sobs petering out into soft, quiet ones, his breath hitching only slightly every few seconds. And then, a little while later he... he stops sobbing entirely. The tears have run dry, his body has stopped shaking, but he... he doesn’t move away. He just stays there, in Mondo’s arms.

Like he belongs there...

“Ya feelin’ better?”

The words are said softly. Gently. He doesn’t wanna spook the kid, knowing how fragile he prolly feels right about now. Mondo gets it. He hasn’t let himself cry fully in years, not even... h-heh. Well. Point is, while he’s not truly cried in years, he remembers how fragile it leaves you feeling afterward. How shaky.

And when he sees Kiyotaka’s eyes dart up, looking scared and afraid, Mondo doesn’t tense up. Doesn’t try and hide the openness on his face. He lets the kid see it. The softness. The care. The... the affection, because god, does he feel affection. He lets the kid see it, and he feels the kid settle against him, the fear vanishing, though the lingering sorrow remains. God... how Mondo wishes he could take that away...

“Yes. I... yes. M-Mondo... t-thank you. I... I’m sorry...”

Mondo can’t help the way he reaches out at that, hand gently grasping a warm, wet cheek. He realizes absently that that’s the first time the kid has said his name, and god is it making his insides squirm. And he can see the kid look at him with wide, watery eyes, lips open on a soft gasp, looking almost... dazed... shit...

“Don’t. Thank me. Apologize. Ain’t nothin’, got it? I... I didn’t mind. At all. So, don’t... don’t apologize. It’s alright. You’re... you’re alright.”

And he means it. God... does he mean it. It... it had felt nice. So very, very nice. Holding Kiyotaka. Comforting him as he cried, somehow not fucking it up as badly as he’d been fearing. He’s always been so fucking shit at comforting people, feeling like he has to be tough all the time, unable to comfort since tough people aren’t soft and sympathetic. But here, with Kiyotaka... h-he’d been able to be soft. Kind. Gentle. All the things he’s secretly yearned to be for so fucking long, but never was able to, since he doesn’t lead a life that is suited for such things. He always has to be so tough, so strong, but... but with Kiyotaka... with this wondrous, amazing, incredible, beautiful boy...

He can be soft.

And he will never be able to thank Kiyotaka enough for giving him that ability.

And when Kiyotaka smiles at him, wide, bright, unrestrained...? Mondo can’t help how he smiles back, wider than he’s ever felt it go before, heart beating so softly and yet meaningfully, feeling so very much for this precious boy. He... he’ll never be able to repay him for this... will he? For what he has given him this day... even if they are never this close again, even if Kiyotaka doesn’t want anything to do with him after this, he’ll never forget what this felt like. What it feels like to be soft. And gentle. And... and kind.

But... shit. Shit.

Now that they have this... now that he’s tasted this... what happens now? He... he doesn’t wanna...

“Shit, man. The fuck we do now? I... I don’t wanna go back ta how it was. I... shit. I was a goddamn monster ta ya these last few weeks... since we met, shit… I... goddamn it,” Mondo mutters, feeling his smile fade as pain fills him, remembering all the shit he has done to this poor, amazing kid. The shit he’s said. The way he’s acted. Kiyotaka gave him so much today, but he hadn’t earned any of it, had he...? He can see the kid shaking his head, looking frantic, like he doesn’t agree, and Mondo can’t help how he glares. Lightly, but it still makes the kid flinch back, proving how much he’s hurt him, and how much he can still, potentially, hurt him. God... he doesn’t wanna ever hurt him... not again… “No, don’t deny it. I was a fuckin’ moron. I just... I ain’t ever... I don’t get you, Kiyotaka. What I feel... when you- you look at me...”

And it’s true. He still doesn’t quite get it. What he feels. Why he feels it. It... he thinks he might kinda get it, might kinda realize what this feeling is, why he wants to protect this kid so badly, but it... it doesn’t quite feel like it fits. And he just... he just doesn’t know... but... if not this then... what else? H-heh...

Sighing softly, feeling so confused but strangely not angry about it, Mondo allows a wry smile to rise on his lips as he presses closer to the kid, as close as he’s always secretly longed to be, since that first day when he held him but not ever close enough. One of his hands is curled loosely around Kiyotaka’s waist, while his other is still gently cupping his cheek and has been for a little while now. He notices dimly how they are almost bare, Kiyotaka wearing only his underwear while Mondo is in his thin tank top and loose black pants, and he can feel the kid’s heat as it presses against him, oddly intoxicating. Mondo’s hair is down from its pomp, having been knocked loose sometime in the sauna, and it’s been years since someone outside his gang saw him without it up, it makes him feel so naked to have it down, but he... he doesn’t really care. Not when it’s only Kiyotaka who sees it.

He... he wants Kiyotaka to see all of him... every last part.

Because he... he views the kid like... like a...

“It’s like yer my brother or somethin’. Like... my nerdy, dorky little brother. Someone I gotta take care of. Protect. Keep safe, from all harm. I never... shit. I had my brother, but he... he’s gone now. I can’t... I couldn’t protect him, fuck. An’ I… f-fuck. I can’t protect you, either, can I...? No, I… I can’t... I can’t... a-and why the fuck would you want a fuck-up like me, anyway? You... god, you could do so much better... why would you want someone like me as your brother, s-shit...”

The thought stabs Mondo through the heart, the realization that as much as he may want to have this with Kiyotaka, to have a brotherhood with him, they... they likely never will. Because Mondo has messed up too much. Because Mondo ruined their chance before it ever even had the opportunity to live. Because Mondo is so fucking broken and damaged that no one in their right mind would ever want him as a brother. Daiya was forced to have him, and he was so fucking amazing that he chose to love him anyway, but Kiyotaka... he doesn’t have to be stuck with him. He doesn’t owe Mondo anything, anything at all. In fact, Mondo is the one who owes Kiyotaka. So much. So very, very much. Kiyotaka wouldn’t want him. He just... he wouldn’t.

And as he feels the kid freeze against him, breath stuttering and harsh, he... he knows he’s right, isn’t he? S-shit... he shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have thought himself good enough to deserve such a gift. Kiyotaka, wanting him like that... wanting him at all... while he may have been soft and pliant in his arms a moment ago, seeming like he was at ease, that doesn’t mean it was because of Mondo or anything that Mondo did. He’d been through an emotional time and he’d needed comfort, and Mondo had just been the nearest warm body. Doesn’t mean he trusts Mondo or that he wants anything from him at all. He’d have to be the world’s biggest fool to think Kiyotaka could ever want him, want him at all.

And Mondo... he may be a fool, but he ain’t that big of a fool.

Heart aching painfully in his chest, Mondo can’t help how he pulls away, not wanting to force Kiyotaka to be near him when he doesn’t deserve it, doesn’t deserve it at all.

“Shit, I was right, goddamn it, aw shit! J-just forget I said anything, I- fuck!”

Mondo hands come up to clutch at his hair, then, the grip tight and painful but he doesn’t care. He wants it to hurt. To ache. It’s what he deserves for fucking this whole thing up, for being so woefully unworthy of being close to such a bright and beautiful boy. Maybe, had he been better— a better person, a good person— he could have been worthy of it. Had he never let his insecurities get in the way, had he just accepted what he felt as true the minute he felt it, not pushed it away in fear, maybe... maybe then, he could have had this. Kiyotaka, as his friend. Kiyotaka, as his brother.

But no. No, no. He had pushed it away. Had been afraid of it, so very afraid. Had let his fear turn to anger, like he was so wont to do, and ruined everything before it even began.

He deserves all the misery he feels for how stupid he’d been...

Mondo gets jolted out of his thoughts when he feels a soft, tentative hand touch him, his eyes wide and manic as he looks at Kiyotaka, who looks so fucking afraid, god. H-he scares the kid so goddamn much, like he scares everyone, because he’s a monster, a senseless beast that only ever hurts people. Breaks people. He’s not allowed nice things, not allowed good things. Not allowed to be gentle, or soft, or kind. He... he’s just not...

To his utter shock, he can see Kiyotaka smile at him. It’s soft, and hesitant, and... and beautiful... but it can’t be real. It... the kid is trying to be kind, trying to hide his fear to make Mondo feel better, because he’s so goddamn nice, so fucking good, shit-

“N-no! Don’t worry! I was just- not expecting that! But I- I feel- the same. I feel- the same! I would be honored, Mondo Owada, to be considered your brother! I’ve never had a brother, never even had a friend, but I couldn’t imagine a better one than you! Y-you... you’re incredible...”

He... he... does he really mean that...? Does he truly... truly wanna be Mondo’s... Mondo’s brother? The kid is so bad at lying, and it hadn’t sounded like he was lying, but... but it... shit. It can’t be true, it can’t... after all the shit Mondo has done, how could the kid ever see him positively, even a little? Mondo isn’t a good brother, he’d always been so shit to Daiya, taking and taking and taking and never giving. He’d taken everything from Daiya, never satisfied with what Daiya gave freely, so he stole the most important thing in the end.

H-he’d just steal everything from Kiyotaka too.

It’s what he does...

“Ya can’t mean that, Kiyotaka... I’m a goddamn mess... and you... you are... shit. You’re goddamn perfect and I’m hot dog shit, ya can’t... y-you can’t...”

And it’s true. Mondo has more to say, more to confess, but his throat is so thick, and he doesn’t know how to say it. To confess all his crimes to Kiyotaka, to let him know how unworthy he is. He- he hears Kiyotaka take a deep breath, and he doesn’t wanna hear what the kid has to say, doesn’t wanna hear him agree, but then he’s speaking, and his words... t-they...

“Mondo... I- I’m not perfect. I... I’m not. B-but that’s okay! I do my best, but so do you! I can see how hard you try and sometimes that’s all that matters! You’re not... dog feces! You... you’re so much more, Mondo...”

No... n-no, the kid, he... he doesn’t understand, he just- he doesn’t understand! Mondo, he has to... has to tell him. N-not all of it, he’s not strong enough to confess it all, he’s always been so goddamn weak, but he- he has to... a little. Enough so the kid knows. So he stops feeling pity for him and realizes that he...

He’s just not worth it...

“No. N-no, I ain’t shit, goddamnit, I...” Mondo has to stop, feeling so fucking conflicted. On one hand he wants to confess, on the other hand he wants to be selfish, and he just... h-he just...

But he can’t. Be selfish. Not... not about this.

Not with Kiyotaka.

With a soft sigh, he feels the tension inside him melt away, his body relaxing with the decision he’s made. All of his emotions— both good and bad— fade away until all he feels inside is... is...

Cold resignation...

“I hate myself. Always fuckin’ have. Heh. There, I... I fuckin’ said it. I love the gang, don’t get me wrong. I love bein’ with ‘em, bein’ a part a’ somethin’ bigger than myself. I love leadin’ ‘em, ridin’ my hog, wind in my hair... I fuckin’ love it. Even bein’ here, unable ta lead directly, I still like callin’ the shots from behind the scenes while my second in command implements it an’ shit. Means somethin’, ‘least. But... I dunno. Sometimes I’ll be in the middle ofa fight and I’ll just... wanna stop. Quit. Do somethin’... do somethin’ else fer a change. But I… heh. I can’t. I promised my bro... Daiya, I... I promised him I’d keep the gang together. He built it from scratch an’ I... I can’t leave that. I made a promise, a man’s promise, ta keep us together. So, I... I gotta keep doin’ that. Can’t stop. Ever. Not ‘til the gang is dead an’ shit, all the members movin’ on ta do better shit with their lives. An’ me… heh. Not much use fer me after that, is there?”

Mondo pauses, and then looks down at his hands, a small, sad smile on his face.

“But you? Yer gonna go places, man. Shootin’ fer the moon. Prime fuckin’ Minister, shit, man. Never met anyone with such high goals, really. Never met anyone who wanted ta do that sorta shit, change things from the inside. Heard ya in class, talkin’ ‘bout yer plans an’ shit. Wantin’ ta make the world a better place, havin’ such hope for this garbage planet. Ya... ya’ve got drive. Determination. An’ I know yer gonna do it, ya know. Succeed. More than any a’ the other chucklefucks we go ta school with, ‘least. Yer just so... determined. Got such passion. I... I admire that ‘bout ya, always did.”

Mondo pauses again, and he… he laughs. It’s sad, and pathetic, and it... he... h-heh...

“But that… heh. That ain’t me, Kiyo. Ain’t me. I ain’t got plans, ain’t got any fuckin’ clue a’ what I’m gonna do after school ends. They got me takin’ fuckin’ leadership classes an’ shit, but the fuck am I gonna do with that bullshit? I can lead a gang, yeah, but that… heh. That’s ‘bout it, Christ. An’ ya… yer gonna see that one day. And yer gonna leave me. And I’ll be happy fer ya, ‘course I will, but... sh-shit. God... goddamnit...”

Mondo doesn’t know where he’s going with this. He doesn’t know what he’s saying or why he’s saying it. His head is so jumbled, so scrambled, and part of him wants to tell Kiyotaka everything. About his parents. About his brother. About what he did, what he stole. He wants to confess so, so badly, to see the hatred and anger and rage on that kid’s face when he realizes how big a piece of shit Mondo really is, horrified that he’d ever felt pity for such a pitiless creature.

But...

He can’t. Can’t do that. He... he can’t burden Kiyotaka with his bullshit. And knowing the kid... he’d still try. To feel pity. To feel sorrow. He- he’s such a good person, so bright and shining. He’s the kind of person who would see a merciless and dangerous monster like him and think there’s something worthwhile in it. It wouldn’t be until his neck is snapped under Mondo’s uncaring hand that he’d realize he was wrong. And maybe... maybe not even then. He’d die, thinking Mondo was better than he was, even if it were Mondo who killed him.

God...

So, he can’t tell the truth. Can’t burden the kid like that. But he... he can’t let him get close. Even if he... he really wants to...

“I’ll just hold ya back. Ya don’t want someone like me, Kiyo. Ya don’t want someone like me at all. So... I ‘ppreciate yer words. But it may be best ta leave this here. Ta... ta forget ‘bout this all and just... move on. I’ll leave ya alone and ya won’t hafta-”

“No!” Mondo hears echo through the room, cutting off his words so thoroughly. It startles the fuck out of him, and he can’t help how he stares, wide-eyed, up at Kiyotaka. It’s weird, looking up to see the kid, but he’s sitting upright, almost standing but not quite, knees firmly planted on the floor. But seeing as how Mondo is crumbled pathetically on the floor, sitting back on his thighs, he has to look up to see Kiyotaka. And he looks... looks so...

Scared...

But...

Not... not of- of... of Mondo...?

“Mondo, please! I just... look. I- I try to be perfect, but I... I’m not! And I know you aren’t either! But... but maybe that’s okay! Maybe... m-maybe... maybe we can learn to be not perfect... together? I, ah. I don’t know! A-all I know is... I want to be f-friends with you, Mondo Owada. I don’t care about your flaws; I don’t care that you’re in a gang! I just... I want... w-we can be brothers. If you want... we can be brothers. I want... I would want nothing more than to be your brother! Your kyoudai!”

Brothers. Brothers. Kiyotaka wants them to be... brothers...

It’s too good to be true. Too fucking good to be true. Mondo doesn’t get nice things like this. He doesn’t get soft, kind, gentle things. He gets shit. He gets cruelty. He gets anger and hatred and rage. He gets angry fists and cruel words, and a suspicious look on his back at all fucking times. After all the shit he has done, the people he has hurt, the lives he has ruined, he... he doesn’t deserve... he just doesn’t...

But as he sits there, staring up at Kiyotaka with wide eyes and an open mouth, he... he remembers something. Something the kid had said, in the sauna. How he... he never had a friend before. How everyone always hated him. And it could have just been insecurity talking, the kid thinking people hated him when they really didn’t but judging by the scars, he... he would doubt that.

He’s never had a friend. He’s never had a brother. Someone to keep him safe. To protect him from all harm. Someone to hold onto, someone to tell him it is alright. That he is alright. He... he hasn’t had that.

And Mondo is the worst choice for a brother. He knows it, okay? He’s so fucking awful it’s not funny. But... but he... the kid doesn’t seem to get that. And Mondo is too weak to explain why he shouldn’t want it. And, as such, he... Kiyotaka wants to be friends. Brothers. With him.

Mondo is a mess. He messes everything up, ruining everything he touches. He... he doesn’t want to ruin Kiyotaka too. He doesn’t want to hurt him. He... he never...

But maybe...

Maybe...

It’s stupid. God, so fucking stupid. But maybe... if he tries hard, so fucking hard... if he is careful, keeps his anger in check, does all he can, he... maybe he...

He can be Kiyotaka’s brother...

And keep him safe...

It makes him smile. It’s small at first, tentative. Like a stiff wind will blow it away. But as Kiyotaka keeps looking at him steadily, earnestly, he... he feels the smiles strengthen. Feels as it grows wider and wider, until it fills his whole face, his eyes squinting with how wide it is. He’s never felt like this before, so scared and terrified, but also... also...

Hopeful.

“Ya... ya really mean that, Kiyo?”

Kiyo. Mondo doesn’t really know why he’s calling the kid that, nicknames aren’t super common in their culture, but somehow, he... he kinda likes it. He doesn’t know if the kid does, he should ask, but before he has the chance to, the kid is nodding. Enthusiastic and bright, a shaky grin on his face. He still seems a little out of it, but god, is he trying... fuck that kid is so amazing...

“Yes! Of course! I always mean everything I say! I would not lie to you, Mondo, I promise you that! We shall be the best kyoudai! You’ll see! Aha! This is fantastic!”

Oh, god... this kid is so fucking cute! God... h-he really shouldn’t be thinking that, should push it away like he always pushes stupid ass thoughts like that away, but he... he’s allowed to see his brother as cute... right? Or, well... his little brother. Though... fuck. Is Kiyotaka younger than him? He seems like it, as naive and endlessly optimistic as he is, but fuck, he doesn’t actually know. Mondo is usually one of the youngest in his class, since his birthday is at the end of the year, but he’s always felt decades older than the chucklefucks he goes to school with. Maybe it’s ‘cuz he was forced to grow up so fucking fast in order to survive, shit.

But you know what? Whatever. It doesn’t matter if Mondo is older or not. He’s the older brother regardless. That shit is felt, not necessarily determined by birth order. Daiya was his older brother in more ways than just because he was physically older, after all.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that... that Kiyotaka wants this. Wants... wants Mondo. And Mondo doesn’t deserve it, had never deserved it, but fuck, is he a selfish bastard. But he won’t take this shit for granted. Now that they are brothers, Mondo will go all fucking out. No fucking reservations. They are brothers, now, and Mondo is the big brother. The ani. It’s his duty and obligation to keep Kiyotaka safe from all harm, including (and especially) from Mondo himself. And he won’t. Hurt him. Not now, not ever. If he ever does, he will stab himself in the gut, commit fucking seppuku, he swears he will. He’d rather die than hurt this precious, amazing, incredible boy ever, ever again.

And so, Mondo grins, and he laughs, and he lets his arms reach forward and wrap around the kid, like he’s been wanting to do since he ripped himself away the last time. Part of him is afraid the kid won’t want it, or he’ll realize how stupid this whole thing is, but Kiyotaka doesn’t even tense at all as he goes willingly into Mondo’s arms, melting like warm putty against him. Like he... he belongs there...

S-shit...

“Okay. O-okay. Kiyotaka, I... I’ll do my best. I can’t promise ya anythin’, know I’m a goddamn fuck-up who ruins everything, but... but for you? I’ll try. That... that’s all I can offer... heh…”

It’s not enough, not nearly enough, but he feels Kiyotaka wrap his arms around him, holding on so very, very tight, and it... it feels...

Like coming home...

“That is all I could ever ask of you, my kyoudai! Y-you’re not a- a screw up! And- and your best is more than enough!”

Shit. Shit. No one... no one has ever told him that before. That the best he offers is more than enough. It’s never been enough, he’s never been enough. He’s a screw up. The unwanted kid. The person who is good for violence and anger and rage, and that’s about it.

But here, being held by this remarkable fucking kid... hearing him say that it’s enough... that he’s enough…

Maybe he’s inclined to believe him.

Wow... just...

Wow...

After a minute Mondo pulls back, knowing they need to talk about stuff, knowing he has to make promises, and it makes his heart sing when he feels the kid resist, arms refusing to let go at first. It makes him laugh softly, especially because he fully understands. But he doesn’t intend to go far. Just... he needs to look the kid in the eyes. He... he needs to see those beautiful as sin eyes...

Pressing his forehead to Kiyotaka’s, soft and gentle and intimate, he can’t help how he smiles, eyes shining with the light he feels inside. And Kiyotaka... he...

He looks at Mondo like he fucking matters...

“I’ll be good. Fer ya... I’ll be good. Promise, Kiyo. And ya can hold me ta that, got it? This is a promise between men. That means I gotta keep it.”

The kid looks stunned, eyes glazed but not in a bad way, breath hitched, and it... it makes Mondo feel...

“Likewise! I- I will do everything I can to be the best brother I can be! I promise! We shall be the best kyoudai in the world! That’s a Kiyotaka Ishimaru guarantee!”

The enthusiastic words make Mondo laugh again, and he pulls away to wrap an arm around the kid’s shoulders, ruffling his hair gently like Daiya would always do to him. He notices that the hair is a bit longer than it once had been, and fuck, does he like it. The sweat from the sauna had made all the gel run out and his hair is now soft as it dries, curling lightly around the kid’s ears and it just...

It’s so beautiful...

But ruffling the kid’s hair makes it fall in his eyes, which makes the kid let out an annoyed sound, adorable again, and Mondo can’t help the way he laughs. God, this kid makes him so goddamn happy... he’s never felt this happy before... never...

“Yer the absolute, goddamn best, kyoudai. Kiyo. Hey, uh... is it okay if I call ya that? Kiyotaka’s just a bit of a mouthful, ‘sall. Ya got any other nicknames I could use?”

He looks at the kid at that, Kiyotaka’s (or should he say Kiyo? Does the kid like it? Shit...) mouth pulled down in a thoughtful frown. A moment passes, and then-

“A-ah! Kiyo is fine! If you’d like! B-but... well... m-my mother. She called me... Taka. Y-you could use that, as well! If you’d like...”

Taka, huh? Taka. Taka. Yeah... yeah, he- he likes it. He likes it a lot! It suits the kid, and while Mondo still does kinda like Kiyo, he might like Taka a bit better. And if the kid wants him to call him that, then shit... who is he to deny him...?

Smiling, soft and gentle in a way he’s never been able to be before, he nods.

“Taka... heh, I like it! Alright, Taka. Mondo ain’t exactly got any good nicknames fer it, but ya can call me that, if ya’d like.”

Mondo watches as Taka blushes lightly, lips still partially open as he breathes in and out slowly. His eyes are kinda glazed still, but he seems present enough. Just... like he’s thinking of something. Mondo wants to reach out, wants to pull the kid into a hug again, wants to always, always be touching him, but he keeps his distance. Just... just for now. But later...

The kid shoots up again, interrupting Mondo’s thoughts, looking so enthusiastic again, eyes bright and smile happy. Holy shit...

“Oh! I can always call you kyoudai!! That way the whole world will know our manly bond!”

It makes Mondo laugh again, harder, and he can’t help how he reaches out to ruffle his hair again, needing to touch him at least a little. Kyoudai, huh? ... yeah. Yeah, he likes that, too. Daiya was always ani to him, the proper name for the big brother, and Daiya usually called him shit like ‘kid’ or whatever, so it’s not like Taka calling him that will bring up any bad memories or shit. It’s just... something for them. Their own, little thing, for them and no one else.

Him and Taka. Taka and him. Two... two kyoudai...

Incredible...

“Alright, Taka. If ya’d like. Now, it’s fuckin’ late. I ain’t even gotta look at a clock ta know that. Come on, kyoudai. Let’s get ya ta bed.”

Mondo stands, then, realizing how fucking late it is. The kid always gets up stupidly early, he remembers Taka saying that once a little while ago, so he knows they should be heading to bed soon. He feels strangely reluctant to do that, never wanting to part from this beautiful boy, but- but he’s the big brother. He has to keep his little brother safe and healthy, and that includes ensuring he gets a good night’s sleep. Even if it means they have to part ways...

As Mondo stretches, he sees Taka stand as well, his body flushing bright red as he looks down at himself and seems to notice his state of undress. Like he’d forgotten or something. Mondo hadn’t. Not... not for a single second. Shit...

He feels his eyes dart down to the kid’s chest, unbidden, and he feels the small smile die on his lips as he sees the long, jagged looking scar that goes from Taka’s collarbone to the bottom of his sternum, right over his heart. How... how the fuck did he get a scar like that...? It doesn’t look like one that would come from surgery or something, since it’s too jagged, and it also doesn’t look accidental. But... but how the fuck...

“How’d ya get that? The... the scar?” Mondo finds himself asking softly before he can stop himself, his hand rising absently to trace the length of it. Fuck, but it feels as jagged as it looks... angry and painful. H-he hopes it doesn’t hurt anymore...

“A-ah... that...” Taka mutters, his body flushing. It jolts Mondo out of the fucking fugue he entered, and he removes his hand quickly, feeling embarrassed. S-shit... he shouldn’t have asked that, it ain’t his fucking business. Yeah, they’re kyoudai, but that... that don’t mean he’s earned the right to hear the kid’s dark history. He still has to earn that shit. He knows that.

“Aw, shit! Taka, ignore me. Y’ain’t gotta talk ‘bout that shit. Uh, shi-shoot, I mean... stuff? Sorry… heh, know ya hate swearin’ an’ sh- stuff. Heh…”

Taka blinks at Mondo’s rambling words, which makes him feel strangely nervous. He doesn’t let it take over him, though. Doesn’t let himself get angry. But strangely... the anger he usually feels when embarrassed or nervous just... never showed up in the first place. Huh...

He watches, then, heart clenching, as Taka smiles at him, soft and gentle as ever. F-fuck...

“I... I don’t mind! It’s not exactly a pleasant story, but I trust you, kyoudai! And... I don’t mind you cursing! Much! It... it’s what makes you, you! Just as long as you don’t do it in class or in the halls!”

He... doesn’t mind him... cursing...???? After all those warnings, all of those detention slips, he truly expects Mondo to believe he doesn’t mind it when Mondo fucking curses?

But... huh. He can’t detect a lie in the kid’s words. He looks as earnest as ever, and it just... god. Mondo can’t begin to describe how he feels right now, just that it feels... soft.

Taka... Taka makes him feel soft. And fuck, is it not bad... not bad at all...

Unsure of what to say, what to do, Mondo just laughs again, since that’s the only thing that even slightly manages to express the softness that he feels inside, and he smiles at the kid gently while nodding. He should feel stupid, ridiculous, but he just... doesn’t.

God...

He watches then as Taka walks over to the locker he’d used earlier, seeming to want to no longer be partially nude. Mondo doesn’t mind it, has never minded being around naked dudes, but he guesses not everyone can be like that. As the kid dresses, he starts to talk. And the story he tells...

“It was one of my middle school bullies. I, er... wasn’t well liked, as a child! They never liked how I would get them in trouble, not to mention... ah. M-my, well. My grandfather,” Taka mutters, voice turning nervous as he talks about his grandfather, glancing at him anxiously.

Mondo still isn’t entirely sure what the kid’s deal with his grandfather is, but he can tell it bothers the kid, shit, so he does his best to not look at all judgmental, even though the fact the kid was fucking bullied makes his blood fucking boil... shit. He’d expected it, honestly, but it still fucking angers the fuck out of him, Christ…

Luckily, it seems his anger at that isn’t too obvious, since the kid continues then, voice less shaky and upset, even though the shit he says...

“One day, one of them was... particularly angry. I’d gotten him suspended, you see, for a week. It was his own fault, he was the one who had scratched profanities into the headmaster’s car, I’d just been the one to report it! Still, he was... angry. So, after school, he had his friends hold me down while he cut this into my chest. A reminder, he said, to mind my own business. I think he was going to do more but was interrupted by something. It was most unpleasant!”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Holy shit, holy shit!

What the goddamn shit?!

Some goddamn motherfucker... carved that shit into Taka’s chest...?! And how the fuck can Taka sound so casual about it?! Mondo has never felt so much rage directed towards someone he’s never met, but holy fucking shit, that goddamn bastard had better hope Mondo never meets him, or else he is fucking dead. The thought that anyone could ever hurt this wonderful boy in such a way is just so... insane to Mondo. How people can see him and not want to keep him safe from all harm is just... he doesn’t get it. Even when he told himself he hated the kid, he couldn’t bear the thought of actually hurting him. Not really.

And Taka he... he looks so fucking sad, right now. But also, just... resigned. Like he expects that treatment and, while it sucks, it’s just... life. Which is so much fucking bullshit, holy fucking shit-

Mondo unintentionally lets out a strangled noise, his anger and rage choking him inside. He sees the kid look up at him and sees panic rise in his face when he sees the anger Mondo so clearly feels. Oh, shit... shit, he’s not mad at Taka, he’s not at all, but he can’t make the anger go away, because... because...

“They fuckin’ what?! What the goddamn shit?! Please tell me ya got those fuckers expelled!”

He had to have... right? Taka is so gung-ho about rules and shit, he- he must have told on those fuckers and got all of them expelled... r-right?

Wrong...

“A-ah! N-not exactly! I... I never reported them! I rarely ever did, to tell the truth... it wouldn’t have mattered, see! The teachers didn’t like me much either; they only ever believed me if I had proof, and even then, only half the time! And they never much cared when I got hurt... b-but it was okay! I persisted and never let them break me down! My struggles made me stronger! Aha!”

W... what? He... he... oh, oh god... n-no...

“Y-you... what?” Mondo whispers, his eyebrows furrowed, his hands shaking. He has never felt so horrified before, a terrifying realization overcoming him. Because he... he was right, wasn’t he? This kid... h-he was abused. Horribly so.

By literally fucking everyone, holy fucking shit-!

“I mean... that’s just... how it was? I handled it, though! I never gave up! They... they did not break me!”

Oh. Oh. Oh, this... this poor fucking kid... his poor fucking kyoudai, having to go through that nightmare, actually believing that it was just... normal. Just... how it was. But he... he can’t actually... actually believe he deserved it... r-right...?

“Goddamnit... that’s why ya keep tellin’ me ta... ta punish ya, ain’t it? Taka, please tell me ya don’t actu’ly think ya deserved that shit?”

He can’t. He can’t. Please, god, he... he can’t...

Mondo watches, heart breaking so thoroughly inside his chest, as Taka looks down at his uniform jacket, the only piece of his get up he’s not yet wearing. He’s frowning gently, like he actually has to fucking think about it, oh god, no...

“I- I... I suppose so... I mean-! I... I don’t know. They all hated me... s-so... they must have had a good reason... r-right? To... to hate me. I... I must have deserved it... right?”

No. No. No. Mondo... he can’t fucking handle this shit. So many things make so much sense now, and he has never hated himself more. For not seeing it sooner. For not allowing himself to care about this boy all along. For maybe even reenforcing this goddamn bullshit, making the kid think he is right, when he sure as shit ain’t. He...

He can’t help how he moves. Swift and quick. He- he just needs to be near the kid, needs to hold him, reassure him that no, he didn’t. Didn’t at all. He needs to do what he should have done weeks ago, in the laundry room, and reassure that kid that no. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt. Not... not ever...

He stops, though, when he sees Taka look up at him, terror in his eyes, like he... he thinks Mondo is going to fucking hurt him. He wants to go forward, wants to hold the kid so fucking bad, but he doesn’t have that fucking right, so he stays where he is, all the sorrow he feels surely reflected in his eyes. And as the kid looks at him, he... he relaxes. He still looks upset, but he doesn’t look scared. That... that’s something...

Right?

“No. Fuckin’ no. Y’ain’t deserved any a’ that shit, goddamn, man… and I promise ya, Taka, I’m gonna make sure ya see that one day, even if it takes the rest a’ my goddamn life. And that’s a man’s promise.”

And he means it, fuck does he mean it. He had never meant anything more. He will spend the rest of his goddamn life ensuring that this wonderful kid knows how special and amazing he is, and that he never, ever deserves to be hurt. It’s his life’s fucking goal now, the one thing that fucking matters. He will take care of Taka for the rest of his goddamn life, even after the kid finally wises up and leaves his ass. He will watch from the shadows, keeping a careful eye on him, there to keep him safe from all harm. This kid will never know pain again if it’s the last fucking thing Mondo does. He swears.

As the kid looks at him, he sees the softest and most beautiful smile he’s ever seen lighting up the boy’s face. His eyes sparkle with it, and he’s looking at Mondo like he’s important again. Like he... like he matters. And Mondo...

He won’t ruin this shit. He just... he won’t.

This matters too goddamn much for him to let it slip away.

“T-thank you... thank you, kyoudai. I... thank you.”

Mondo smiles gently at the kid, moving forward to tentatively wrap an arm around his shoulder, squeezing gently, needing to touch him but not wanting to overwhelm him, god.

“Ain’t gotta thank me, bro. Now, we really should head ta bed. Got school tomorrow an’ I don’t want my bro ta be tired! Come on, kyoudai. Let’s get goin’.”

Taka nods quick and puts his jacket on, buttoning it with practiced fingers. The kid turns back to the locker, frowning gently at whatever he sees inside. Mondo watches as the kid reaches out and grabs it, his breath hitching when he sees the kid is holding the glasses case that started this whole fucking mess. He... he honestly had forgotten about that shit, to tell the truth, with all the drama that just occurred. But as he looks at the kid, who is looking so softly at the glasses case, like they’re precious to him, he... he knows he owes the kid for the shit he put him through earlier, for no fucking reason. He can’t quite find it in him to regret what happened, not when it ended up like this, but he... he has to make it up to the kid. All of it.

So, quick as a wink, Mondo darts his hand out and carefully takes the case from Taka, ignoring the startled sound the kid makes. He can feel the kid watching him with wide eyes, but he doesn’t let it stop him as he opens the case and— without a single moment’s pause— puts the glasses on his face, blinking at the foreign feel. It... it hasn’t changed his vision much, since this shit is only supposed to help with close up shit, but it... huh. He guesses it ain’t so bad...

“Huh... I guess they ain’t that bad... tell me, kyoudai. How do they look?”

He hadn’t really meant to ask the question, but he just... couldn’t help but remember the shit he’d done the last time he’d worn the glasses and Taka had told him what he thought. He... maybe he wants to show that it’s different, now. That he won’t get angry, not this time. To prove that he will never hurt Taka, never again. Not... not ever again.

He watches as the kid flushes bright red, mouth open slightly again, and- and god, is it an attractive look on him... s-shit... and then the kid is smiling shakily, giving a shaky thumbs up, and that’s even... even worse... or better, heh...

“You look amazing, kyoudai! They suit you well!”

A-amazing, huh? Shit... no one’s ever said he looks amazing before... he’s had a couple of people call him hot, or even sexy once or twice, but never... never amazing...

He adores it... adores... Taka...

It makes him smile again. Soft. Happy. So goddamn happy... he will never be able to repay Taka for the happiness he gives him... not even if he dedicates the rest of his life to trying. Which he will. He... he will...

But it’s late. So fucking late. They... they need to get to bed...

Even if Mondo never wants to part from this amazing kid...

“Ah, cool. I guess. Now, c’mon! Bed! Ain’t gonna be the reason ya can’t focus in class tomorrow, ya nerd!”

With that, Mondo turns to grab his duster off the bench he’d tossed it on earlier, shrugging it on carefully, before finally exiting the bathhouse, Taka on his heels.

Shit...

#The Problem with Mondo preview #Mondo Owada #Mondo's POV #Kiyotaka Ishimaru #Danganronpa #Danganronpa fanfiction #My fanfic #Ha hope y'all liked it #:-)

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales Comics: Spies Like Us and Dime after Dime or Weblena: The Preschool Days (Lena Retrospective) (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Shadow Into Light, My Lena Retrospective, which fittingly has now come to Women’s History Month! I sadly do not have anything besides this arc prepared for the month. This month is pretty packed for me with two shows a week to cover, as while there’s only two weeks of Ducktales left final space starts up right after to take it’s spot, two arcs to cover, and two time specific movie reviews: animal crossing the movie and the 1990 TMNT film. I will try to get more than the currently planned top 12 superheroines list out there... but this month is very tight as is, so if I do not I deeply apologize.

Now that’s out of the way, it’s appropriate we start Women’s history month on some likely lesser known parts of Lena’s history, with some comics stories focusing on our faviorite emo lesbian duck and her 87 counterpart. Before I get started on that though Kev my patreon pointed out something intresting a few weeks back i’ve been forgetting to get to and since we’re looking into Minima, I felt this was the perfect time to do so: Lena’s Concept art.

There’s quite a few things to gleam from this. For starters as pointed out in the reddit thread I got the image as a whole from this was made in 2015, meaning Lena was one of the first new characters designed for the series and was part of it from the VERY early stages, as evidenced by the fact that despite clearly having their new personalities established, Beakly and Webby still had the old designs.

The other notable change is that her first design was way more like both Magica nad Minima, a bit more modern, but clearly far more obvious who she was related to. She also had all black feathers making the shadow twist a bit more obvious and was likely done away with both to avoid giving that twist away, the same reason for the fake lestrange name, and to avoid accidently black coding her, as while Lena being black would’ve been intersting, it also would’ve invited a firestorm of controversy given that their one black character in season 1.. woul’dve started off as a homeless, manipulative antagonist, and none of that would play well nor was it something the progressive crew of this show couldn’t spot from a mile away. And even this early on they have an almost final design ready, simply changing the shirt to fit her personality more, and her hair to be pink because it honestly looked better She also had green eyes throughout, but for whatever reason they phased them out. That part I don’t quite get as they look nice but probably they were hard to translate to the reboot style once they settled on their own. Her purple eyeshadow and haircut though have stuck since and were good calls.

One last VERY obvious note.. Webby was gay for Lena from minute one. While Dana helped it is now VERY obvious they gay coded this relationship from the design phase, and the crew was entirely aware the whole time and I gave them less credit than I should have. They clearly had this in mind, and it’s very likely ONLY subtext because Disney, while making more and more progress, is very reluctant to have queer characters as Owl House was a struggle and since they have a tighter leash on properites based on the sensational 6, that means Frank knew they had the same odds of making Webby or Della queer in anything but subtext that a pig has of suviving in a slaughterhouse. I bring this up because I fear the series getting accused of queerbaiting somewhere down the road instead of doing what they could with a bad hand and hoping they could make the show as gay as they could. Penny is as out as they posisbly could get her, and Violet and Lena’s dad’s got a full apperance, if no speaking role that made it obvious beyond a shadow of a doubt their gay and did it in a plot important episode. So they did their best and I want them to get credit for that.

But while this is all intresting stuff, join me under the cut for the meat of today’s review as I dig into Lena’s only apperance in the tie-in comic that was never punished here, and the only apperance of her protoype Minima.

Spies Like Us: As I mentioned this comic was never published here which is doubly weird to me because of how I knew this story existed. Since I follow comics weekly and buy trades reguarly, I read the solicits companies put out eveyr month to see what new series are coming, what the ones i’m currently reading are doing, and what trades are coming out. That sort of thing, and it’s something I love. I know their basically adds.. but their well put together adds that really pull you into the books you like. The big two and the indies are all very good at it and sometimes i’ts the only way to know a comic is coming if the company dosen’t make a press release for it ahead of time.

So naturally given there are several comics I follow at idw, paticuarlly the TMNT comics, I read those solicits and found they were going to do an issue with Webby and Lena becoming spies, and was excited about it. I ended up forgetting about it and never really followed the Ducktales comic as it came out, and upon reading an issue or two recently, one for another comission by kev as one story, happy happy valley, was particularly terrible. For those who haven’t read the story or my review, it involved the family getting stranded on an island where their forced to partake in activites and smile..that somehow turned into an aseop about Louie wanting to be rich. It ended with this

Yes.. really. That actually happened. But even with this, I fully planned to cover the issue when I covered Lena, and brought it up to Kev when he commissioned the retrospective. He gave me the discord equilvent of a blank stare and had never heard of it. I soon found out why: the story was replaced as, and fair play to disney, it spoiled Beakly’s past from the agent 23 episode which wasn’t going to air in time. What dosen’t work is they never reprinted the story in The US.. didn’t put it in a future issue and just swap it’s place didn’t put it in the nothing. And the story was fully complete as we’ll see, with a cover and everything so they had no excuse whatsoever to NEVER use it, even with what happened to Lena in the season finale, this clearly took place before that and it was weird to just shelve it because of that. But thankfully when a bunch of the stories were reprinted overseas, this and another one, also webby centric got published overseas. But not in english.

Lucky for me, I was able to find an english translation of an english story which you can read RIGHT HERE. It was translated by @neopuff and I thank them for it as without them this review would not be possible and want to give them all the credit. So was it worth all their hard work translating it? Well let’s take a look.

We begin at the Manor where Lena is skulking around suspiciously.. though it turns out she and Webby are just playing hide and seek. Though Lena accuses cheating. The dialouge here is pretty flat though that’s not Neopuff’s fault at all. As I can attest from reading other stories a lot of the early IDW comics are just this flat in dialoguge no matter the writer as they were likely given character descriptions and basic info about the show they likely had written up for merchandising and Frank and Co were given no involvement and likely weren’t made avaliable to consult on the comics to help them be a bit more fleshed out. It’s very obvious to me Disney just tried to get these pumped out so they’d have a series in stores to tie in without carring about qualities and given Scrooge debuted in comics, their lack of care toward that side of things in general, but especially in the first american published original duck comics in a while, bothers me a lot. It’s inexcusable.

That being said the story isn’t half bad nor is the setup as the two hear a beeping and find it’s Beakly’s phone going off with a mysterious message from Q, Webby thinks she’s been reactivated, and is encouraged by Lena to go look after her while she stays along. While Webby says in response

It just feels grossly out of character for both. Lena is far more subtle about manipulation as shown five minutes ago and Webby blindly trusts her. Because she has a massive crush on her and is naïve about how the world works. It just seems very odd of her to get suspicious as she never does on screen, and again it comes off as Disney having barely given the writers any materials on them when i’m sure Frank or Matt would’ve been happy to write up a thing for them to help outside of the usual press materials they were given.

Though hte last line isn’t all that out of character and has an obvious answer as within a jumpcut Launchpad’s taking them to London and is told to blend in.. which he does with an australian flag and accent.. good gag.

So our heroines do some heroic breaking and entering and look for the package, but soon find while hiding it’s already in transit.. and had obvious bows on int. Whoops. Our heroes trie the old follow tha tcar bit and refreshingly, it dosen’t pan out as the guy stops and tells them to get out. A nice twist. Unable to follow, our heroes instead find launchpad lost, as his map is upside down

So Lena dares him if he can follow that plane, a nice bit of character for both. I will give Joe credit. While the dialouge’s a bit flat and there was that out of character moment.. for the most part he does nail the actual character down and does use it decently enough. He’s just not given enough page room or actual details to work with is all.

So while our heroes follow they end up having to crash as they run out of fuel.. lucky their with the expert but end up near home where the package is delivered to. Turns out this wasn’t a spy thing, this was just a thing with her aunt. That’s fine and a nice gag.. it’s just ruined by just sorta.. ending. Lena leaves disapointed and Beakly scolds webby for “playing spy” and she’s sad. That’s it that’s how it ends. Which dosen’t fit the characters, as while Beakly would defintely scold her, it just dosen’t FIT that she’d be that tearse or not appricate the effort or give her an actual lecture and it feels like Joe had no idea how to end this after the gag and just.. ended it.

Final Thoughts for Spies Likes Us: This was okay. It is a bit of a disappointment as for the only story not available.. i’ts just okay and not really above an average Ducktales comics story, with some nice character bits but feeling a bit weak overall, as do at least the first half of the idw comics. I haven’t read the later stuff to see if it got better. It’s worth a read if you like Webby and Lena as characters and it’s not BAD, it’s just not anything impressive and is a simple hyjinks filled misunderstanding story.

Dime After Dime:

So now we go back a bit to the original. I didn’t do these in chronological order because frankly, Dime after Dime is the better story of the two and the bigger one at that, so I have more to work with here. But the original also had comics and honestly from the few i’ve read much BETTER comics. I chalk this up to two things: The Ducktales 87 comics seem to have come out AFTER the series was already a hit, and since Ducktales is pretty close to the original uncle scrooge comics minus it’s own tweaks here and there, it’s easy enough to just write the stories like you would a regular uncle scrooge story, just with Webby and Launchpad added, whereas the idw writers were staffed with writing for all new versions of the characters with noticable differences without much to go on. It’s why to me with tie in comics you have two options: Wait long enough so you can put your story inbtween the episodes like the Steven Universe and Regular Show comics did or just make your own continuity entirely like the Adventure Time Comics and the Archie TMNT Adventures series did. The ONLY time i’ve seen a comic work like this is the Bravest Warriors comic, which had a talented writer and fit well enough in the margins until it sadly ended.. and honestly is BETTER in some cases than the series. I might get to it someday. The point is this comic shows why you need to have a deft hand adapting something instead of just falling your arms about and hoping it’ll work.

So today’s comic was part of some Disney Series called cartoon tales, which clearly repackaged comic stories from wherever, and put them together. I don’t know much about it and the only other issue avaliable collects the disney adventures adaptation of “Just Us Justice Ducks”, which I might cover at some point. This book does have two other stories which i’d be happy to do on comission or on my own at some point, one involving gladstone the other gizmoduck, but for now, i’m just sticking to the title story and the reason you all came here.

So we open with Magica gazing into her crystal ball from her Mt. Vesuvies base saying that Scrooge will never know what hit him I know exactly what and who wiil hit him thank you very much.

Scrooge is seeing Webby off to her first day of day camp, getting all teary eyed which is touching. Beakly apparently goes with her as the story never SAYS Sshe does but she’s not also not around when the story moves on, as Launchpad says it looks like rain. Scrooge dismisses him, though Launchpad turns out to be right. Scrooge had good reason for once though, instead of just being a dick good on you comic for making me not want to punch him in the face, trust me that is a high bar to clear with the scrooge comics, as the weather was fine just a minute ago. Naturally it was Magica All Along! Nothing scrooge can do now that eveyrthing has gone wrong! Her entrance though is sadly not a catchy earwormy tune, but .. this confusing line

I think your thinking of Gladstone. And he’s still single so.. have at that but no Scrooge is the one who values hard work over anything else and brags about THAT or being rich. I .. I don’t get this line and frankly I don’t want to. Even in stories where the dime is supernaturally lucky and the source of his wealth he dosen’t boast about it because he’s not stupid and dosen’t want everyone knowing how to bankrupt him instantly. This line will baffle me until I die, presumably, given my life’s tragetctory, after reviewing an episode of mighty ducks and slipping on some a jerky wrapper.

Scrooge asks what she wants...

No this isn’t that kind of story sadly. Her plan is to.. zap the bin with lightning and take the dime. Really just went with your first draft didn’t you magica? But as stupid as this plan is Scrooge has prepared for it. He installed a lightning rod on the bin to save on power, and to power his new super soaker traps. So all Magica did was save him money. She flies off and nothing is acomplished.

So we get back to Webby at the Teenie Weenie Day Camp.. and just so you don’t think that was a terrible joke on my part...

My theory for how this name got approved at all is the editor KNEW how that sounded and just wanted to see if Disney would actually print a comic with the phrase Teenie Weenie without getting what it means in slang or how hilariously inapproriate it is to namme a children’s camp after it.

Your probably wondering who that grown woman calling Webby a dweeb is. Well story wise, she’s SUPPOSED to be another kid at the camp around Webby’s age. In practice, she looks like THIS in closeup

So it looks and plays like a 30 year old woman snuck into the day camp and no one’s noticed she’s not actually a children. Or their just humoring her because she had a week to live. I don’t know. I do know she doesn’t get to judge on names.

Snippy Von Glitz, proof rich people really do hate their kids and this this comic is trying personally to give me material. Snippy is your average alpha bitch, taking a chair from Minma and being obnoxious and classist and all that jazz. Minima gets hers back by making the chair bouncy then returning it to normal so Snippy gets in trouble when she makes up things about the chair, with the lady in charge getting ready to call her Dad. You cannot convince me that her “Dad” is just what she calls her husband, this is how they both get off, and that the lady at the preschool only tolerates it because they pay her a lot and so far the kids haven’t noticed Snippy is 30. Webby likes minima finding her name pretty, proving that the ho yay is alive no matter the webby and magica relative, and Minma returns the favor by saving her from a block.

Minma is reluctant to make an actual friend, finding they aren’t worth anything and given most of the kids here apparently pick on her and her aunt is well.. Magica, it’s understandable why she’d be so cold. But Webby presses on and says something from Scrooge about friends. Which given Ducktales scrooge has none goes weird but it gets Minma to find out she knows and lives with Scrooge, so she cons webby into taking the dime for show and tell, showing that she can manipulate them with her powers, and that he won’t notice it’s missing, getting her with “I thought you wanted to be friends”

So let’s pause for a second and compare and contrast the two: Both are the niece, or at least sorta in Lena’s case, of Magica, both manipulate webby, and both are her first real friend: The 87 boys are little monsters and I don’t consider them friends or even brothers, while the 2017 ones are just that: brothers. Their her siblings in all but blood, not friends and have hteir own long complicated history.

But otherwise the two are vastly different. Lena is a far more complex character as she’s been abused her whole life, is a rebel because Magica hardly gave her agency, and while she starts wooing webby out of self interest it’s clear even as far as the first episode she cares. Lena would gladly be part of the world if she could and this whole scheme is to gain that choice.

Minma is still sympathetic but very different: She walls herself off because the other kids laugh and mock her for being herself and lashes out at them.. not unreasonably mind , but still feeling she needs no one else.. but as we’ll learn later she’s only helping Magica to finally feel accepted, to get all the fancy clothes and stuff that will make her popular instead of that grown woman masquerading as a kid for disturbing reasons. Minma is at her heart just a hurt kid desperate to fit in. And while Lena shares the desire for a place to belong.. it’s at it’s core much sadder. Lena.. wants a family. Someone to love her and to care about her and actually look after her. Minma has that she just wants to be loved. it’s similar but very diffrent and I can see why Lena evolved into what she did, as Frank and Matt ended up going in a far darker but ultimately more interesting direction. Minima is not a bad character at all though and without her I don’t think we would’ve had Lena, but at the end of the day the 87verse is just not that complicated, so the reboot needed something more and that more evolved into who we have now.

Both kids excitedly talk about their new friends, with their respective guardians being distracted. Scrooge is distracted by the fact his car is a bit bumpy and Launchpad offers to fix it up for free with some parts from a buddy, which given the sentence “This won’t cost you anything” makes him erect, Scrooge agrees. Magica meanwhile, whose watching Minima while her mom is away which raises a LOT of questions we don’t have time for like who she is, is she’s poes wife or does Magica have other siblings... it’s a lot of questions we’re never going to get answers to.

The next day Webby got the dime easy as Scrooge was distracted. so Minima swaps them while she’s distracted. But while swiping it was easy, which to be fair Webby is likely approved in his security so it woudln’t match her.. or the story just needed to progress. You make the call.

Magica does the logical thing and goes and get sthe dime and the story ends there.. and i’m shitting you, she of course brags to scrooge, reveals minima as her spy, and offers to RACE him for it shortly after he realizes he has a fake.

The only major flaw in this story is Magica’s overconfdience, which isn’t BAD persay, but here has gotten to dumbass proportions. She just can’t plan for anything and a CHILD has a better plan than her that only dosen’t work for reasons we’ll get to. And that plan is almost ruined by Magica taunting scrooge!

So a race is on but Launchpad has transformed Scrooge’s old Model T into this

Damn that’s cool. Scrooge of course dosen’t like it, but honestly you get what you paid for. Oh that’s right you paid nothing for something you NEED to use every day for transportation.

At the rickity thickity bridge, Steve Buschemi’s worst roll and her minion ask Webby to roll with them and Minima mistakes this for betrayal planning to soak them all.. only for Webby to DEFEND HER, pointing out minma’s her friend, how she dresses is fine and she loves her no matter what.. the last part’s implied. The 30-year old asshole and her minon leave Webby and Minma is genuinely touched, as no one’s done that for her before. She put up so many walls... she didn’t realize someone could ACTUALLY care about her, so obessed with thinking she had to be like that soccer mom in preschoolers clothing, she just had to be herself: kinda werid but in that fun adams family way. Webby says she knows Minma would do the same.. so while she prepares to let’s get back to the race. Magica realizes Launchpad’s roadster is actually gaining and spreads some tacks, but Scrooge counters with some money.. because of course he has a lot of money in the trunk. But Magica takes out the bridge and while scrooge awesomely JUMPS IT... he’s still too late.

As you probably guess though, Minima had a change of heart, and gave Webby the real dime back, and Scrooge confirms it. Minima TRIES to tell Magica, and Magica is horrified her niece is a goody goody “I”ll never hear the end of it at my astral aerobics class”.. I.. I want to see that. Let’s raise those spirit ladies and kick kick that soul, doge that shadow king punch them in the soul. Yes! Now eat it eat it and absorb it’s power!

We end on a button joke as Webby apologizes for taking the dime., Scrooge accepts it and Webby tells them magica learned to carpet and they gulp for some reason.

Final Thoughts on Dime after Dime: This story was decent. It has problems, some jokes don’t land and Magica is made horribly incompetent, but minima’s character arc is endearing, and Webby herself is precious as always and her winning Minima over feels genuine. And Scrooge is in prime adoring uncle mode with her and i’ts just so cute. And the roadster race is pretty awesome to watch honestly. It’s an exceptional and enjoyable tie in story.. and not the last ducktales 87 story we’ll be covering here. Wink wonk.

Next Time: Things get DARK as Lena and Webby head into the depths of Scrooge’s hidden bin and Lena heads into the depths of her own soul.

Tommorow: Woo-Ooo mofos as we go back to the very beginning of the reboot! A family restored, a lost city to explore, and a glomgold rises! Be here or be square.

#ducktales #ducktales 1987 #webbigail vanderquack #lena saberwing #weblena #minima de spell #magica de spell #bentina beakly #launchpad mcquack #scrooge mcduck #dime after dime #spies like us #idw #comics #animation #shadow into light

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