My Norman Lear story begins at Metromedia Square where I finally landed a much coveted job as a studio page. These jobs were said to be our gateway into show biz land and, gratefully, the legend proved true for me.
At Metro-Tape, (Sunset and Van Ness) I was a studio page for The John Davidson Talk Show, Gimme A Break, The Family Ties pilot, numerous telethons and all of that year’s Norman Lear sit-coms, including Diff'rent Strokes, The Facts of Life, One Day At A Time, and The Jeffersons, where a girl named Louise quickly and proudly earns the nickname, Weezy.
I was a page for one year during which the entertainment industry dreams of a kid from suburban Buffalo were realized every day I drove my silver Honda hatchback onto the studio lot.
I was responsible for seating the studio audiences, running errands (James Brown needed clear nail polish before he would sing on the Davidson Show. I found some,) and filling in where needed in offices around the lot.
At Christmas, I received a free turkey coupon from Metro-Tape, (Not a great gift fit for me and my toaster oven) and one state-of-the-art Dustbuster from Norman Lear. Yes, his Christmas list extended to include the studio pages. The dust-buster went to my cousin Trish as the maid’s room I inhabited offered only one electrical outlet. She reports that it can still bust the hell out of some dust.
Within a year, I was offered a job at PM Magazine which led to writing for Rick Dees and co-founding Premiere Radio. One of my many privileges at Premiere was interviewing celebrities, which led to one day, years later, a chance to speak with Mr. Lear about his new sit-com, The Powers That Be.
Despite the opportunity to properly thank him for my Dustbuster, It was not going well. I had run through any questions I may have prepared and was beginning to think that he really did not like me when he suddenly began interviewing me.
Where was I from? What did my job consist of? Did I hope to become an actor? I told him that I wanted to write sit-coms. He asked me to send him a script.
Wow. That turned quickly. A friend and I wrote a spec script for The Powers That Be. We were called in to meet the producers. It was there that Mr. Lear pulled me aside and said, “What have you written by yourself?” My spec scripts were stale so I went home and wrote a Seinfeld spec and sent it in. I then received a phone call from Norman Lear who said, “You don’t need to write with anyone else.” OH. MY. GOD!
I was called in to pitch story ideas for The Powers That Be. My memories of this are quite vivid. I’m sitting around a conference table with maybe 15 people. One of them keeps falling asleep. I’m boring him. I better rush. Norman Lear asks me why I’m talking so fast. I can’t point and say, “Because that guy is asleep,” so I slow down. Another fellow is listening to each of my story ideas, nodding and then offering, “We did that on Maude.” OH. MY. GOD! How did I arrive in this room with these people! Astonishing.
About a week later, The Powers That Be was cancelled by NBC with episodes yet to air. You should know that David Hyde Pierce and Joseph Gordon-Levitt were on this show. Two of our finest three named actors! Also, John Forsyth, and Holland Taylor! What the hell, NBC! Also, the show brilliantly skewered modern D.C. politics, featuring a Senator, his anorexic daughter and her suicidal congressman husband. So good.
This is one tiny window into how Norman Lear walked through life. He was consistently sharing his great gift and offering opportunities to the next generation.
Having him and his important voice here on Earth with us for 101 years has been a lesson and a blessing. Mr. Lear, we are so very grateful.
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BoB WEBSITE CODE MASTERLIST:
COUNT -> 100
BOOK OF BILL
"Hide it under shirt during pledge of allegiance"
PINES
"A good family tree"
STANFORD PINES
His 18 y/o medical report
STANLEY PINES
Ebay page for brass knuckles
BABBA
Full recording of Dipper singing
WEIRDMAGEDDON
News article from after the fact
BILL CIPHER
Wikipedia page for 'triangle'
HECTORING
Church meeting recording
WADDLES
Pig adoption page
TRIANGLE
")"
"Tri harder"
MYSTERY SHACK
Google page for 'Confusion Hill'
GRAVITY FALLS
"Never heard of it"
DISNEY
"rat.gif censored for your protection"
T.J. ECKLEBURG
"Never mention that name again"
DEATH
"Life's goth cousin"
LIFE
"Life 72% complete. Now loading: Death"
SKELETON
"The one with the sword! He found you!"
WENDY
A note from Wendy about warding off evil triangles
ROBBIE
Thompson and Robbie's messages about summoning bill
MONSTER
Google search for "THERES A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK"
SOOS
Soos's message about life at the mystery shack
PINATA
A video of a bill cipher pinata getting beat up
MCGUCKET
Link to youtube video of "Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe"
MABEL
Adds stickers to the page until it reads "Lab now fully mabelised"
DIPPER
A note from bill telling Dipper to stare at the sun
TAD STRANGE
An oddly sexual video of bread
LOVE
A romance novel called "The Love Triangle" with an audio recording of the first chapter
CIPHER
Wikipedia page for "Eye of Providence"
TOBY DETERMINED
Google page for "Restraining order"
GIDEON
Google page for "Sweat resistant bolo ties"
QUESTION
"Answer"
MYSTERY
"?"
Any swear word
"Not S&P Approved" notice
PORTAL
"Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build one"
GUN
"Oh yes oh yes they both"
SEASON 1
"Season -1: Antigravity falls"
SEASON 2
"Season 1"
SEASON 3
"Season 2"
DEER TEETH
"For you, kid!"
BLIND EYE
A faux eye test page filled with codes that someone smarter than me need to decode
FILBRICK
"I'm not impressed"
BLENDIN
"Time agent lost and presumed incompetent"
JOURNAL 1
"The journal of fun"
JOURNAL 2
"The journal for you"
JOURNAL 3
"The journal for me"
ALEX HIRSCH
Google page for "Flannel"
GOD/FRILLIAM
Video of an axolotl swimming in front of a Bill statue
AXOLOTL
"You ask alotl questions"
WEIRD
A video of Weird Al stuck inside the computer
TITAN'S BLOOD
"Hoot. Hoot. Password please!"
BAAAA
A poem about a shepherd
SUCK IT MERLIN
Art labelled "The Bastard Triangle Cuts the Unicorns Hair" 1499
BABY
An ultrasound of baby Bill
MASON
Dipper's note to ford on anagrams
CRYPTOGRAM CODEX
Downloads a zip file containing fonts of codes and runes
I'M STILL ON YOUR MIND
A video of Stan and Ford on the Stan O' War II, with a colour block code
SORRY
The full image of Ford and Fiddleford at collage
FBI/CIA
Your webcam is on. We are watching."
DUCKTECTIVE
"Ducktective stars in 'Love, Quacktually' coming to 'Oi, it's the Cockney Channel innit?' this fall"
EVEN HIS LEGS ARE LIES
A note from Bill about Fords place as a perfect pawn
DIVORCE
"O' SADLEYS" Logo
SEVEN EYES
Image of the oracle with a warning on the back
R34LITY
Images of Bill and his henchmen in the real world, message reading "They found a new home"
BLANCHIN
Youtube tutorial on how to blanch vegetables
PACIFICA
A note from Pacifica about what a loser Bill is
PLATINUM PAZ
A story of how Bill tried to enlist Pacifica to steal the time rift before turning to Blendin
EUCLYDIA
"Dimension not found"
SCALENE/EUCLID
"Life form not found"
IRREGULAR
Bill's mug shots
LOVE YA BRO
Drawing of Stan catching a mermaid
XYLER
Youtube link to Jem and the Holograms theme
UNIVERSE
"Hologram"
HOLOGRAM
"Universe"
NOTHING
"Something"
SOMETHING
"Nothing"
HORROR
Urban legend story of the 'Always Garden' a restaurant you cant leave
MATPAT
A video of Matpat tell us were on our own T-T
ONE EYED KING
A hypnosis video with Bill audio convincing you to pledge your soul to him
CURSE WITTEBANE
A Bill Cipher ouija board
BURNSIDE
"Burned inside"
EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES
A snippet of Bill's therapy sessions talking of what ford was to him
WELL WELL WELL BEING
"Patient file: Bill Cipher. Greatest love: Himself. Greatest fear: Himself"
"Art therapy notes: All he draws are red and blue triangles"
"Patient's odd phobias: 3D Glasses. Venetian blinds. TV static."
JUST FIT IN
An old game commercial for "Perfection" with a snippet of Bill's [?] voice at the end
TANTRUM
A transcript of a fight between Bill and the Time Baby, sheds light on Bill's crime against his home dimension
PAPER IS BOOK SKIN
Downloads a photoshop file full of skin layers
SKIBIDI/RIZZ
"Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas."
DORITO
Creepy jump scare video
SCARY
A novel cover for "Spookemups" with and audio sniper of the story
GIFFANY
"Input deleted. AI Antiviral activated"
"Warning: Secondary firewall breached"
"Fatal warning. System under attack"
"Soos! I still love you! We will be together"
"Now downloading girlfriend. (This action cannot be undone)"
Then downloads a zip file full of link to Giffany gifs
BOOBERRY
A shockingly uplifting poem from Bill with a little image of him as a melting candle
Words that do not trigger the buzzer : BUBBLE, BUTTON, CLEAR, MUSIC
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wanna bug Toji soooo bad while he’s on the phone. his ass doesn’t have a job so it’s not like he’s discussing important business, but he likes to make it look that way. phone tucked between his shoulder and ear as he uses one hand to rub circles on your exposed thigh, the other flipping through the tv channels. he’s speaking in a low tone, his eyebrows mused together in agitation as he calls the guy on the other line a barrage of insulting names.
and you’re just a simple person—the man looks hot as fuck like that and you just have to bother him. so you do, despite the side eye he gives you when you swing your leg over, foot in the air, right in his face. he swats you away gently before going back to his phone call, bites at your toes when you still try to wiggle them in his face.
"If you think you can lowball me like that, then you're stupider than I thought." Toji grunts to the other man on the phone, distracted once more. a little peeved that his attention isn't on you much anymore, you do what any little conniving imp would do.
you sit on his lap. backwards, facing the TV, looking over your shoulder at him with such an evil little grin that it makes his eyes squint to you in warning. but you've never listened much, especially when you know you'll be rewarded so plentifully in the end.
so you rock your hips, just slightly the first few times. your legs sat on either side of him, hands resting in the space between his legs on the bed, leaning your weight back on his hips that you sit against. instantly, you can feel the swell of him beneath his sweats, feel the thickness that you love to fill you up start to twitch when you circle your hips, grinding them oh so slowly against his covered cock.
when you look over your shoulder again, Toji only stares, the slightest lilt of his lip turning up at the corners. he tries to act unbothered, one arm bent back to rest his head against, the other holding the phone to his ear. but you can see through him, and feel just how bothered he really is.
so you up the ante; start to lift and drop your hips slow, slow, slow at first before the pace begins to build. you lean forward on your elbows, pull your underwear up until the curve of your ass is exposed, gasping from the friction, from the feeling of his cock rubbing so sweetly at your slit through the thin cotton.
you look over your shoulder once more, grinning, biting at your lip as you grind against him, close to completion. he can see it all in your eyes.
"Gonna call you back later. Got some important shit to take care of right now." Toji hangs up without preamble, gaze distant as he focuses on the ever growing spot of your arousal that starts to leak onto his own sweats.
but you're a little minx, with the way you scramble from his grasp before he can catch you, laughing when he snags your ankle to drag you back down. he's suddenly kneeling over you, grin sharp and ferocious, the straining of his cock through his sweats hanging so intimidatingly low, that if you lift your hips just a little, his tip would kiss your clit in the sweetest kiss.
"And where do you think you're going, you little brat?" Toji growls, dropping down to nip at the base of your neck, licking over your pulse point.
"Not letting me off the hook that easy, huh?" you tease, hands splayed beside your head in surrender, just wanting a little bit of the chase before the devouring. and by the look in his eyes, you know you'll only be bones by morning.
"Not in a million years." he promises right before the inevitable pounce.
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! I haven’t completely finished TMA !
not that anyone asked BUT for me personally, there’s 3 aspects to the “personality” test that is the 14 fears. As Gerry explains, they all tend to bleed into each other like colors, so it’s hard to pick just one.
The way I categorize it is
1. the fear that best represents what your most specific phobia is
- For me, the idea of The Watcher definitely scares me, but I think The Vast would be more likely to really get to me because of my specific fear of thalassophobia.
2. The fear you would be most excited to serve
- I want to be a The Hunt or The Flesh girly SO FUCKING BADLY.
3. Whichever fear best highlights the specificities of your personal brain
- I’ve never had any media better able to encapsulate my specific mix of diagnoses than MAG 19-20, Confession and Desecrated Host, which are both mainly centered on The Spiral or I’ve seen some attribute it more to The Desolation
So my top three would be The Vast, The Hunt/Flesh, and The Spiral. At least that’s how my brain organizes it!
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